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Blondie, 3/24/24

OK, look, syndicated newspaper comic strip Blondie: if you start a comic where Dag gets an alert on his phone that it’s time for a “ritual,” and Herb walks over looking depressed saying “I might as well get it over with,” the rest of the strip had better involve a grisly human sacrifice, part of some dark suburban magic to propitiate the tutelary deity of lush, even lawns, and not some bullshit about borrowing tools or whatever.

Dick Tracy, 3/24/24

OK, look, syndicated newspaper comic strip Dick Tracy: I know doing overly reverent takes on classic adventure comic strips is, like, your whole thing, but you’re going to have to decide whether the action you depict takes place during an era where undercover FBI agents would have no choice but to leave their newborn daughter at a local orphanage as they begin their most dangerous mission yet, or whether it takes place during an era when cordless phones exist. You can’t have it both ways!

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Bizarro, 3/23/24

One of my goals in this blog is to get you all to appreciate the comics as a fundamentally visual medium. You could describe a comic where the punchline is that a chicken is working in a diner and serves eggs that it just laid. But what makes this comic good is the smug and just vaguely sexual expression on the chicken’s face, along with the human customer’s expression indicating that he gets everything that’s going on here, he’s extremely disgusted, and yet feels he has no choice but to eat the eggs anyway.

Dick Tracy, 3/23/24

You ever forget how many days there are in a week? You ever forget how many days there are in a week when your job involves creating a specific number of creative works tied to the number of days in a week? I think a nice thing to do if you find yourself in that situation is to just let your characters enjoy a nice dessert before moving on with their story.

Slylock Fox, 3/23/24

It’s truly demeaning what the animals in the Slylockverse had to put up with in the days and weeks after the moment when they achieved sentience but still had to obey outdated human law. It wouldn’t be long after the moment captured here when the dog would be wearing the police uniform and the policeman would be in a mass grave. The squirrel knows the horror that awaits!

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Dick Tracy, 3/15/24

“Orphans are disgusting and deserve their fate! Can you imagine if we brought one into our home?”

Blondie, 3/15/24

“…he’d let Dag branch out into snack machine sales!” “Really!” “Ha ha! Yep! Say, if you had to put it into a few words, what would you say this company does? Do we sell snack machines? I’ve been working here for six months and I still don’t know, and that presentation didn’t clear it up.”

Rhymes With Orange, 3/15/24

Hey, everyone! You ever fantasized about shitting out the back of a moving car? Well, today’s comics are here to tell you: you are normal. Congrats!