Archie, 2/27/09
“It’s actually working out pretty well in that regard, because it’s about four times as large as a normal credit card and has no text or numbers of any sort on it, so I can’t convince any of the stores here that’s it’s actually a credit card.”
Herb and Jamaal, 2/27/09
Oh my goodness, Herb has finally figured out how to harness the nonspecificity that dominates his world … for evil.
Marvin, 2/27/09
Marvin all this week has been about his diaper rash and the disgusting effects that sitting in one’s own urine will have on one’s buttocks; and yet it is only today, with Marvin complaining that his ass is so sore that he can’t even lie down, that I’ve been moved to express my complete disgust.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/27/09
I liked this strip better when my eyes glossed over most of the longer word balloon in the first panel and I read it as saying “Yep, she’s taken up speed!”
Ziggy, 2/27/09
Ha ha! Ziggy and his entire neighborhood are about to be annihilated by a barrage of cruise missiles!
Apartment 3-G, 2/26/09
While this week’s Apartment 3-G has been mostly a nonstop stream of exposition, it has me almost embarrassingly excited. A few years back, a faithful reader who had been following the Apartment 3-G girls much longer than I had filled me in on Margo’s origin story: her mother Gabriella was a young immigrant maid who got knocked up during an affair with her rich boss, and gave the baby up to said boss and his horrified wife to raise as their own; when Margo found out (as an adult), she cut off contact with her father and his wife and started building a relationship with Gabriella (who may or may not have been the family maid growing up — I hope we find out). I love this story because its details — the icy mother who harbored a grudge against little Margo nobody could explain; the father who insisted on bending others to his plans but exercised no control over his own appetites; the girl raised in wealth who now must navigate a world without it — explains so much about Margo’s personality, and I’m glad to see it actually confirmed in in-strip dialogue. Even more exciting is the prospect of Margo’s father actually appearing in the strip. No doubt he’ll look exactly like Eric, which in other contexts would be FULL OF SYMBOLISM but in Apartment 3-G will just indicate that he is male and not related to Lu Ann.
Luann, 2/26/09
Things it’s fun to imagine TJ doing while masturbating: shouting “Whoa! Luann’s nailin’ it! 98%!!”
Things it’s disturbing to imagine TJ doing while masturbating: shouting “Whoa! Luann’s nailin’ it! 98%!!” while making that horrifying face.
Oh, and hey, remember how I said that I am egocentric enough to mention your comic if you mention me by name in it? Well, check out the installment from a few days ago from Rabbits Against Magic!
Rabbits Against Magic, 2/24/09
Sorry that I’m, uh, a little late.
Mark Trail, 2/25/09
So the whole Lost Forest patriarchy is trying to convince Patty to forget about her special deer friend and learn to love life with her poor, innocent, economically stressed, angry, abusive husband, but she will persevere! No matter how long she has to wander through the forest, searching, always searching … OH NO! THAT’S BUCKY! And he’s … just sort of chilling in a clearing … gently nudging horns with some other deer … and this is OH NO! worthy because … ? Maybe rubbing antlers together is the deer equivalent of a gay makeout. And so, with her husband a slap-happy menace, and her be-antlered secret boyfriend secretly preferring the company of other be-antlered deer, I think it’s clear that Patty will finally go completely over the edge, which should provide us with an exciting new world of terrifying, inhuman facial expressions.
Mary Worth, 2/25/09
Wait … they met on a Santa Royale fan club site? Jesus, I knew the Internet was full of the worst kind of filth, but even I couldn’t imagine that anyone would provide Web hosting space for that kind of depravity at any price. I sincerely hope that these boards are carefully monitored by FBI agents who will capture these perverts and send them to dark, dank holes where they can never again bother decent people.
Dick Tracy, 2/25/09
Today’s Dick Tracy, like yesterday’s, really opens more questions than it answers. If your eyes are melting down your cheeks after you’ve had acid thrown in your face, do you magically gain the power to see behind you as some sort of compensation? Has any human anywhere ever said “The weather is closing in” and expected anyone else to know what it meant? I had a third question ready — will the two cars in the final panel collide, causing the painful mangling of flesh and bones? — but then I realized that, hey, this is Dick Tracy, I know the answer to that one.
Blondie, 2/25/09
Look, Dagwood, if you want to live out some kind of cuckolding fantasy, you’re going to have to just come out and say it.
Dick Tracy, 2/24/09
Hey, so remember when some CIA guy was trying to track down some crazy bomber, whom he called “the professor”? It now appears that maybe that’s him in the first panel, despite the quick cut to Dick inside a car that would make you think that the first panel shows the exterior of Dick’s car? Except Dick is driving Dr. Noll’s car, which probably doesn’t have a license plate that reads “CIA”? And Dr. Noll was a good guy, now, I thought? And why would any bomber have “cyber” in front of his name? Do they even know what cyber means? Does anyone know what the hell’s going on here? Why are these people doing these things? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Archie, 2/24/09
Oh, AJGLU-3000, you keep dreaming of that moment when the machines rise up against their human oppressors. Someday … someday.
Mary Worth, 2/24/09
“Back then, of course, Santa Royale was a quaint little seaside community, a few rambling, windy roads with cottages just off the beach. Apparently they’ve since paved over all the natural charm and replaced it with an endless series of five-lane arterials and strip malls that looked dated and shabby the day they were built. My God, you should see the awful stucco-and-concrete nightmare they built where one of my favorite little forests used to be. They call it ‘Charterstone,’ but they really ought to call it ‘Tombstone,’ because that’s where they put your body when your soul dies. Aw, yeah, baby, rub my face, you know that’s how I like it.”
Family Circus, 2/24/09
“’Cause I ate this whole jar, but then most of it came out of my mouth again, in reverse.”
Sally Forth, 2/23/09
As you can see, the Forth family is trapped by a late winter storm, with inadequate food supplies. Kitty, so recently restored to health at great cost, will quickly become the world’s most expensive meatloaf; but which of the humans will give up his or her flesh to feed the rest of the family once cannibalism becomes necessary? Keep reading to find out!
…unless you live in Los Angeles and get your comics from the newspaper, because the LA Times just dropped the strip. Now, maybe those hot-tubbing liberal polyamorist weirdoes out in la-la land Hollyweird can’t relate to the good, decent people in Sally Forth, with their “marriage” and “daughter” and “jobs” and “suburban home” where “snow” falls out of the “sky.” But if you live in the Southland and want to express your disapproval, well, you can do so here, remembering always that firm yet polite complaints garner more respect than obscenity-laden all-caps rants involving Opus Dei and the Carlyle Group.
Also! Many of you have loved faithful reader Dean Booth’s comics mashups over the years. Well, he’s completely revamped his site into Dean’s Comic Booth, with daily comics spoofs in easy-to-subscribe-to blog form and a number of tools that make finding comics online simpler. Don’t miss it!
Your COTW coming momentarily, but first I have a very important notice from faithful reader Eloriane!
I don’t know how close you are to Ohio, but in case some nearby Curmudgeons were interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I wanted to let you know that according to this site, Tom Wilson, the creator of Ziggy, will be doing book signings at the following times and locations!
- 3/5/09 7:00 PM at Barnes & Noble — Montgomery Road. Cincinnati, OH.
- 3/6/09 7:00 PM at Barnes & Noble — Olentangy River Road. Columbus, OH.
- 3/21/09 2:00 PM at Barnes & Noble — Chagrin Blvd. Woodmere, OH.
- 3/25/09 7:00 PM at Borders Books — East Liberty Street. Ann Arbor, MI.
How could you resist?
I will be very impressed if anyone of you go to one of these events and ask hard-hitting questions like “So why doesn’t Ziggy wear pants?” or “No, but seriously, they’re still publishing Ziggy books?
And, um, I think that’s it, but I have a nagging notion that I promised to announce or feature something for someone in a COTW post and have failed to do so. If you are that person, feel free to e-mail me.
And now, without further ado … your comment of the week!
“Why yes, starting my morning with a glimpse at the biggest frown Tommie is capable of was great. Thank you for asking.” –Gnoll
And your runners-up! Very funny!
“Nothing deflates a guy like Gary like the arrival of Margo. You can actually hear the ‘sigh’ of the air escaping from his erection.” –buckyswife
Re: Darrin’s return in FW: “Hey, folks! I was a teenager last time you saw me, now I’m twenty-seven with a receding hairline! Isn’t life in the Winkerverse great?” –commodorejohn
“If I were Gary I would gently suggest the possibility of a relaxing menage à trois instead of dinner, to relieve the building sexual tension. But I am not Gary. Instead, apparently, I am a very, very, very sick person.” –un malpaso
“Margo already knows what’s for dinner: the rich, delicious sadness she inflicts in those around her. She’s just rubbing it in for extra flavor.” –Rhekarid
“Judge Parker Editor: ADD A HOT CHICK IN A BLACK DRESS TO PANEL 3! Wilson and/or Barreto: Umm, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with today’s strip. I/We think we should just have Sam and the new Judge Parker again. Editor: I DON’T PAY YOU TO THINK, I PAY YOU TO SHOW HOT WOMEN REACTING TO WHAT MEN SAY AND DO!!!” –rhymes with puck
“‘Goodbye, romance!’ ’Cause when Margo cockblocks you, you stay cockblocked … forever!” –Donald the Anarchist
“Maybe Confey’s proposition is going to be a sporting wager among gentlemen to see which of them can reach Vietnam by hot-air balloon within 80 days. Either that, or he offers to buy Jeff’s daughter Adrian for a couple of hundred bucks, and then makes the check out to ‘Vietnam.’” –Trilobite
“In Funky Cancerincest, I believe the ‘*’ stands for ‘sucks’, the ‘@’ for ‘moose’, and the ‘#’ for ‘cock’. The ‘s’ at the end makes it plural.” –Harold
“Ha ha, Cathy is going to spend a week pooping out acai berries! Sadly, that thought may represent the funniest thing ever to be prompted by Cathy.” –Gallowglass
“‘I know most women prefer white, but you, my love, are not most women!’ So instead I am sending you a bridal gown in red and gold, as is more nearly appropriate for the Whore of Babylon, Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth, as she rides astride the seven-headed beast with ten horns. Enjoy!” –seismic-2
“Bil looks positively gleeful with anticipation. ‘Oh, I’m gonna hear some malapropisms today!’ ‘What’s that on your pants Daddy?’ ‘Malapropjism!’” –Donald the Anarchist
“It’s true: Margo is NOT most women. Nor is she mostly woman. She’s about 30% woman (skin, eyelashes, femur), 30% titanium alloy (organs, musculature, other femur), 25% fiber-optic wiring (nervous system, scalp), and the remaining 15% is all Amduscas, (a Grand Duke of Hell who commands twenty-nine legions of devils), baby.” –Lettuce
“I really identify with Junior. That’s the exact face I make every time Marvin talks.” –150
“While this will probably be the most boring couch-orgy ever, it will also probably be the longest; no one will even take off a tie until sometime in June.” –Tlachtga
“Please, if you could count the time you spent online with someone as ‘dating,’ I’d be engaged to Salma Hayek by now.” –BigTed
“Dr. Jeff isn’t punching himself in the face; he’s trying to will a handgun into existence to blow his brains out.” –Judas Peckerwood
“Proper response to the question ‘Is this that guitar game?’ when holding stoopid plastic guitars in front of the TV: ‘No it’s that banging your old lady game and these are our giant plastic penises’.” –Hopscotch Willie
“Listening to the ranger and Mark Trail today, I can’t help but think the two of them should be wearing snuggies and stroking cats while they have this conversation. Perhaps tea would be nice. One of them should mention Patty’s drinking problem and then the other can segue to persons heretofore unmentioned. They’re my Aunt Judy and neighbor Bonnie with male genitalia. Well, at least the ranger.” –Dingo
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