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Spider-Man laughs at your anger

Baldo, 3/29/07

As part of my program of occasionally saying something unmitigatedly nice, I’ll say that I really like this technique that Baldo does occasionally, where normally cartoonish characters suddenly become lifelike, if romantically idealized. For reference for those of you who don’t read the strip, this is what Tia Carmen usually looks like:

Since Baldo is about a Latino family, it’s tempting to call these installments comic-page telenovellas, but their real antecedents are soap strips like Mary Worth or Rex Morgan, I think. I like them because I think they represent the idealized way the characters see themselves, rather than the cartoonish way in which we usually look at them.

Ziggy, 3/29/07

Hmm! Say there, Ziggy seems to be saying something to the mice about something that we, the audience, can’t see! Doesn’t this seem a bit familiar? Let’s turn the wayback machine to November 15, 2006:

Ziggy, 11/15/06

At the time, I said this:

You know what would have made this cartoon marginally funnier? If we could actually see the mice making off with Ziggy’s cell phone. Or see the antenna sticking out of the mousehole. Or see Ziggy holding an empty cell-phone holder. Or really see anything that would indicate that this wasn’t one of hundreds of photocopies of a single pre-drawn “Ziggy talks to the mice” panel, all awaiting only the addition of “hilarious” dialogue and published at reasonable intervals so as not to be glaringly obvious.

(Note for libel purposes: I’m not saying that Ziggy actually uses photocopied panels instead of coming up with a new one every day. I’m just saying that it would save a lot of work if it did.)

Well, it sadly looks like I was right. Despite the fact that today’s Ziggy could have just used the November panel with different dialogue, it seems that the artist has gone through all the trouble of making an entirely new drawing for what’s essentially the same mice-using-wireless-communications-technology joke. To his credit, he managed to make it even less interesting visually this time around.

Spider-Man, 3/29/07

A couple of weeks ago, I proposed that Spider-Man getting hit in the head with a brick would cause amnesia and mistaken-wife-identity hijinks. It was a moronic idea for a storyline, I thought, but hey, this is Spider-Man. Of course, I failed to account for the fact that the Spider-Man strip will do whatever it takes to prevent you from deriving enjoyment of any kind from it. Today, it becomes obvious that Spidey getting bonked in the head and stumbling about woozily for the better part of a week wasn’t meant to set up any ludicrous narrative shenanigans; in fact, it actually served absolutely no narrative purpose at all. As I should have known since this enraging sequence a couple years back, this strip exists entirely as some elaborate bit of storytelling gamesmanship, in which all reader expectations of excitement or at least a vague sense of involvement are continually and gleefully thwarted.

Pluggers, 3/29/07

What I love best about today’s Pluggers is how damn smug Grandpa McCheapskate looks. “Yeah, I’m trying to teach you the value of a dollar … specifically, that it’s four times greater than the value of a quarter. Now go get a job, you little ingrate.”

321 responses to “Spider-Man laughs at your anger”

  1. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman: Good old Adolf, always looking out for the tax dodge

  2. Vakar
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    No, see, Spider-Man’s just going for versimilitude– next week, he’ll spend two weeks looking for his keys, then he’ll find ‘em, and it’ll be okay.

  3. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Hagar: Helga says” Scraping barnacles off your boat isn’t my idea of doing things together”. That’s one of the most intensely sexual comments that I’ve ever seen in the comics. Any clue as to the orifice involved?

  4. Hysterical Woman
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    I wonder what Lover Boy here looks like in the “real” (that is, cartoon) world. Probably some weedy guy with a wispy mustasche.

    Calvin and Hobbes did the soap opera thing sometimes to. It was hilarious. This is interesting, though about as funny as most soap opera comics.

  5. Vakar
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    I almost made it!

    Oh, and forget the ‘next week, he’ll spend two weeks’ I just said– I just needed to post and you know what I’m talking about. Eh?

  6. Kimberlyrose
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been getting pretty bored with the gag-a-day strips in Baldo lately, so I’m really enjoying this current storyline with Tia Carmen. Can’t wait to see the rest of the family’s reaction to this apparent suitor of hers.

  7. Hysterical Woman
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I imagine Gregario took look like Craig Pullin, the Truckee River Killer, from Reno 911.

  8. ElSanto
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    I sorta applaud Spider-Man for being man enough to shake off a trifling inconvenience like a brick to the head. I mean… I can see other superheroes, say Batman, tripping over his shoe-laces and being incapacitated for days. But with Spider-Man … like water off a duck’s back!

  9. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    You know, Josh, that the characters in MW see themselves in exactly the same way as the ones currently in Baldo. We just don’t see it like a telenovela. Also, I think that’s Thomas E. Dewey, making the trans-comic-dimension shift to go from MW to Baldo

  10. Woodrowfan
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    I am actually enjoying “Baldo” now, which is kind of unusual.

  11. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger if you hold your right arm out naturally, and your opposable thumb is on the bottom of your hand.

  12. NEW-ME
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    You know your a plugger when you sit on the benches at WalMart drinking the soda’s out of the machines.

  13. Mike P
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    This is what I said about today’s Spider-Man at my blog:
    Spider-Man is just swinging away? Into action, no less. He’s not going to land, launching a boring argument between him and Jameson, ending with Jameson remarking that Dorset’s been kidnapped. Why, he’s being downright heroic. He’s doing something he’s supposed to be doing, and I for one am shocked. I can only guess that brick to the head shook him out of his “whine and complain” mentality and restored him to his former super-heroic self. Only time will tell, however, and I’m guessing at some point soon Spider-Man is going to start being whiny and whatnot again.

    Also, Spider-Man getting hit with a brick did serve the narrative: if he hadn’t been hit with the brick, he would have arrived at the television station sooner and be able to stop Kurt Kordok’s henchman Weasel from kidnapping Dorset. So basically the brick served to make the storyline longer.

  14. Dean Booth
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    Repost since it was so close to the end of the last thread:

    Here’s your chance to give Jack Elrod’s Automatic Speech Balloon Positioning Device a try. It makes his job so much easier! (Works in IE and, thanks Weasel Boy, in Firefox.)

  15. Ukulele Ike
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    I was enjoying Baldo not too long ago, during the Week of Beatriz, the new lollypop of an employee at the auto parts shop. Now she’s vanished, and I’ll probably drop it from my daily rotation.

  16. aethucyn
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    So, you’re a plugger if you can’t remember what year this is?

  17. Hobbes
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    In reality, the li’l Plugger is merely playing on his grandfather’s senility. Over the course of 3 years he’ll have milked away over $12,000 – in quarters.

  18. Chromium
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    These “ho-ho-mice-are-using-human-technology” jokes in Ziggy don’t make much sense when you consider that Ziggy is only slightly bigger than a mouse himself. If the strip featured a realistically drawn grown man wearing no pants and talking to a mouse hole, it might actually resemble humor.

  19. Random Aussie
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    I thought that the major defining characteristic of Pluggers is that, being poor, they are acutely aware of the price of EVERYTHING they purchase. Now I find out they’re not even remotely close to knowing the price of widely available everyday items. Sounds like it would be easy to con/screw over a Plugger.

    “What’s that you say? The toiletpaper is $700… well, better get out my 2nd credit card there for you.”

  20. Kermit the Forg
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers buy supermarket-brand cola products! How quaint!

  21. Derelict
    March 29th, 2007 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Now, now, Josh–Spiderman doesn’t suck all the joy out of itself as a comics-reading experience. Provided, of course, that you reading from more of a meta perspective–not caring a whit about Spidey or any of the characters, but instead reading it to see how the writer manages to take what should be perfect setups to exciting storylines and, through enormous effort, transforms them into the most blase pastiches ever to grave the serial comics.

    That is true talent at work!

  22. Jorge2090
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    #14 That’s so Margoing awesome!

  23. Maughta
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    I love it when Baldo does Telenova-style artwork. Basically because Baldo is a CILF. Us wimmin need some eye candy, too (although no one has gone on and on, ad naseum, about Edda on this blog for a looooong time now).

  24. willethompson
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    One more time, CCers! The Limited Edition Margo!Boxcar!Saturn! cups and shirts are on sale NOW! We’re just shy of a load on the cups, so order within the next 48 hours!

  25. Foobar
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    Posted in Baldo. That looks so weird down there.

    By the way, your Hamlet via Spiderman from back in the day was hilarious and was probably what hooked me on this (award winning?) blog.

  26. willethompson
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Just restating that you need to visit #14 Dean Booth’s link because it makes a ludicrous strip even funnier…

  27. andreavis
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    So being a Plugger means you’ve been in a coma for 25 years, otherwise you’d have noticed the price of pop has risen X4, you cheap hat-wearin’ dog bastard.

    I think they got this one wrong; a real Plugger would have handed the grandson a buck, bitching the whole time about how when he was a kid, sody pop came in a glass bottle and cost a dime and yadda yadda.

  28. fizzy logic
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    #14 – Dean Booth – I love it! I couldn’t stop playing with it. I especially liked it when I could make the Jack Elrod ball talk. And Cherry’s nostril. But I think one of the funniest/strangest positions was the original.

  29. Tweeks_Coffee
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    The only redeeming piece of Spiderman getting hit on the head is the fact that he opted to rest in the alley. Of course the one panel shot of him sitting down next to a trashcan hardly lived up to my ideas. He could’ve curled up under a newspaper, gotten robbed or begged for change. Any one of those would’ve led to a far more amusing storyline than what we’re going to have to endure for the next few months.

  30. Rusty
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    If I scooch over to the monitor and peer up from underneath, I can get a glimpse of Ziggy’s Sailor Moon underwear.

    #23: After reading this week’s 9CL, I hope Edda gets shipped off to FW to contract cancer and get blown up in a war. What a self-absorbed a-hole. Of course, being saddled with her Granthonyesque limpdick boyfriend may have pushed her over the edge.

  31. Mighty Sam
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Not only have Ziggy’s resident vermin added wi-fi since Novermber, they have also acquired some sort of interior lighting. They probably used the cell phone to call and order both.

  32. Katerina
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Is that the dog talking in MT or Cherry’s ass?

  33. willethompson
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Attn: Dean from #243 yesterthread – the chatterbox issue has been taken care of, bro. Scroll down. You’ll see it.

  34. Buck Ripsnort
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Actually, most supermarkets have a bargain pop machine (25 cents). Of course, it’s the machine that almost always broken, because stores love screwing pluggers.

  35. Tweeks_Coffee
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    #14 – Dean Booth

    That’s simply great. I like when you can get it to stop so that the milk, potato, Cherry, random thing on the hill and the bear’s ass are providing the dialogue.

  36. Squid Countess
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    #14 Dean Booth I LOOOOOVE YOU!
    My very first try I had an expository bear butt and an ejaculatory milk carton! Too funny!

  37. Dean Booth
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Jorge, wille and fizzy.

    wille, I got nothin’ for chatterboxes. Maybe I’ll dream about it tonight. On second thought, maybe not!

  38. Harry Parateses
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Come on, folks, order your mugs from willethompson so I can get mine! I have several options for paying, including C’thu’lu bucks, the great stone coins of Yap, and murdering willethompson’s enemies, so buy now to avoid the latter. ;-)

  39. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Dean, that’s a pretty funny comic that you came up with, I got the bear talking out of it’s ass on my first try! Nice job.

  40. Dean Booth
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Oh, wille, I see now that you’ve taken care of the talkin’ ‘ginas o’ Charterstone. Good one. Perhaps they could sing a CC song about MW.

  41. Jim Anderson
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    I had to scroll down to reach irony. I think I pulled something.

  42. Mooncattie
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    There’s a new entry for williethompson’s Chatterbox link! Yes, it’s CherryButt speaking up in MT, under the evil glare of a huge duck that has plants growing out of it. I’m waiting for newspaper taxis to appear on the shore…….

  43. willethompson
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    #38 Harry – C’thu’lu bucks? Damn! I bought those when I went to the Arkham theme park, but they were useless! I had to have THIS many tentacles to ride the Eviscerator!

    And Dean, as I said, I’ve got the ‘chatterbox’ covered. JUst click on my name…

  44. Trotzenbonnie
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    C’mon, everybody. Sing along. Just follow the bouncing ball….

    Pepsi Cola hits the spot.
    12 full ounces.That’s alot.
    Twice as much for a nickel too.
    Drink Pepsi Cola. It’s the drink for you.

    Today’s Pluggers painfully reminds me of when I’d ask my dad for money to buy clothes and he’d hand me five bucks. Ugh! I want Levi’s, Dad. Please don’t make me wear Plain Pockets to the Sadie Hawkins Dance! Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear Plain Pockets on their asses!

    AND – The Jackelrod Automatic Balloon Positioner Device Thing is the best thing since sliced bread (which cost a quarter back in my day, kids).

  45. fizzy logic
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    I think Edda’s fishnet stockings in 9CL give her cankles. There, I said it – I had to get it out.

  46. Jack Parsons
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    “Grampa, you stole it from the collection plate anyway.”

    “Here, you little bugger, let me show you how to shake it out of the machine.” Crunch! Now he’s Captain Murphy in Sealab 2021, waiting for the scorpion.

    “Hey, where’s the tube tester?” (Why, yes, I am old.)

  47. Uncle Lumpy
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    I like realistic episodes of Baldo a lot, but the artist has no menswear sense.

    Suitor hombre‘s outfit goes from overcoat in #1 to old-timey wide-lapel jacket with a big low notch in #2, to much more current jacket with a small notch in #4. That pocket-square on the right in #4 signals custom-made, but the armholes are much too big for even American bespoke work, and Hispanic men usually go for the English look with higher armholes. Unless he recently lost a lot of weight?

    Those long collar points are slouchy, and detract from an otherwise finished look – he should try a spread collar. And how do you get such a big knot on such a narrow tie? Maybe it’s a rubber tie? Bold move, but not with that suit, pal.

    For a formal look perfect for pickups at the supermercado, he should try something like this.

    Or, for the ne plus ultra in relaxed elegance, this.

  48. Chris
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Up until a few months ago, the soda machine in my office did dispense them for a quarter. Now it’s 65 cents (85 for Yoo-Hoo). :(

  49. Tweeks_Coffee
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    #46 – Jack Parsons

    I award you the Snarking Medal of Honor for using a Sealab reference.

  50. captainswift
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Holy cabooses. J. Jonah Jameson has gone from a man approaching 50, to a man on the far side of 90. Or else, the intense energy radiated by his smugness has melted his face.

  51. Trotzenbonnie
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Harry, wille…um, what are chutululu bucks?

    (Sometimes it can be very therapeutic to admit that you don’t know everything.)

  52. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    #44 Trotzenbonnie
    Did you ever have to wear maypops ( for economic reasons?
    I feel your pain.

  53. Harry Paratestes
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    #51 Trotzenbonnie
    (actually, I used to love that comic strip in the old National Lampoon, along with the one about the paralyzed detective named Sam deGroot)
    C’thu’lu bucks are just some unusual (and therefore vastly interesting) form of compensation that came up when I ordered a mug through willethompson. ;-)

  54. Steve S
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Could you possibly have picked a Tia Carmen panel that did a better job of sounding naughty out of context? I say no.

    I much prefer the Calvin and Hobbes soap-opera-drawing-style strips: “Say it! Say I’m the doctor!”

  55. Bobchillingworth
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    You know, Kortork or Cataract or whoever the evil mastermind in Spiderman is will probably be rewarded for his villainy with a starring role in a movie. “Weasel” too. And the brick. Little wonder that Peter Parker AKA Spiderman spends so much of his time yelling at the television and drinking me into a stupor.

  56. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Gold, Dean Booth. Gold. Nothing could be more on point on the pointless ambiguity of Mark Trail’s dialogue; where it’s located, what it says and who (or what) is saying it.

    Well here’s my tribute to Brad Delp, and the formerly infamous ad awe-inspiring wallcrawler whose comic of late is so lame of plot and thought and follow through and…oh hell. Dammit Stan, I know you’re not writing this crap, but tighten up whoever the hell is!! Jesus, I know the newspaper is no vehicle for Raimi-like adventures, but seriously…. To the tune of Boston’s “Peace of Mind.”

    Now if you’re feelin’ kinda low ’bout the bricks you’ve been stoppin’
    Future’s coming much too slow
    And you wanna hurry but you just keep playing cop and
    Can’t decide on which way to go
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    I understand about indecision
    And you clearly don’t care if we’re left behind
    Stan Lee’s heroes in competition
    All I want is to have some plot in mind

    Now MJ’s climbin’ to the top of the Hollywood ladder
    And even that has taken too long
    J Jonah Hitler Jameson says you don’t matter
    Comes a day when he’ll be gone (Please God soon!)

    I understand about indecision
    And you don’t care if we’re left behind
    Marvel comics, no competition
    All I want is a halfway cool plotline.

    Take a look ahead, take a look ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…

    Now newscasters got advice that they just keep on givin’
    Doesn’t mean too much to Pete
    Lot’s of people out to make-believe they’re livin’
    Can’t decide who they should be.

    I understand about Deus Ex Machinas
    And Doc Ock does care if we get behind
    The Vulture’s livin’ in Sing Sing Prison
    And all Stan wants is to have my piece of mind.

  57. Dynamite XI
    March 29th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    I met Baldo’s writer, Hector Cantu, in person about five years ago, actually. Nice guy.

    As for the guy in the panels…maybe it’s just me, but he sort of resembles a young Mr. Whipple from those old Charmin commercials. Carmen’s meeting him in a supermarket, after all…

  58. King Folderol
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy –

    Say there, Ziggy seems to be saying something to the mice about something that we, the audience, can’t see!

    What’s even sadder is that there ARE no mice! Ziggy’s so unbelievably lame that even the mice can’t stand him and were compelled to move out. If the bird wasn’t in a cage and the dog could buy its own food, they’d be long gone as well.

    Spiderman – Why does J. Jonah look so absolutely smug in Panel 3? Is he happy at the prospect of “grave danger” Oh yeah, he works in the news. Of course he’s happy.

    Pluggers – The caption should have said “Pluggers are morons who can’t read the price on a vending machine and don’t understand the concept of inflation.” That wouldn’t have been all that funny, but neither was the caption Brookins chose.

  59. Dingo
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    I notice that this Pluggers was sent by Glenn Eby of Norfolk, NE. Our great expletive – Rolly Church of Crete! – is thanks to Rolly Church of Crete, NE. Is there something in the water in the great flat state of Nebraska (motto: The Lull Between Iowa and Colorado) that causes its citizens to send in Pluggers material?

  60. Heckler123
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – You can’t even get that crappy Sam’s Cola for a quarter out of a vending machine. I’m not sure why you’d even want to.

  61. DaveyK
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    “served absolutely no narrative purpose at all”

    I fear you’ll regret that premature statement when Spiderman fails miserably in his attempt to thwart the kidnapping (after all he’s facing a limo driver) but is ultimately rescued by the newest superhero in town…Falling Brick.

  62. Pelagius
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone here actually seen a mousehole like that or have them in their house? Based on a childhood full of 40-50 year old Bugs Bunny and Tom and Jerry cartoons I expected every house to have mouseholes, every mother-in-law to be a nagging grouch, and that people would generally act the way they do in TDIET. As a result, I’m not sure if growing up was disappointing or a relief, but these anachronistic comic strips provide comforting doses of nostalgia.

  63. Pat Lewis
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Dude, Walt Disney is hitting on Tia Carmen!

  64. Chromium
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    “Grandpa, do you know how much a cola costs?”
    “About a hundred dollars.”
    “Do you know how much one of those new compact cars costs?”
    “About a hundred dollars.”

  65. The Avocado Avenger
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Aw, I think the Plugger grandpa looks like he’s just happy to give the kid a quarter. It’s totally playing into my inate sympathy for older people who get confused. Waaah!

    In other news, I may be irrational and hormonal today.

  66. Elisabeth
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Watch out Vera, Mary’s got her meddling finger set to stun.

  67. Trotzenbonnie
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Harry –
    No PF Flyers for me, man. Not when you could gets Monkey Ward Skips for two bits.
    Did I see Buster Brown winkin’ at me in my shoes? Nope. Couldn’t even afford to step in Tige’s shit.
    I listened to music on a 7-track.
    Uh…That’s all I got.

  68. Chromium
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    By the way, is everyone aware that “Garfield” is currently making fun of blind people?

  69. Queen of West Procrastination
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    #47 – Hey! That first picture’s from the Sartorialist’s entry on sleeve length! Uncle Lumpy… are you secretly Sart?

  70. Islamorada Girl
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, I have a feeling there’s not a whole lot to do in Nebraska.

  71. Trotzenbonnie
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Nebraskans/Pluggers are proud of their church made out of a haybale, the World’s Largest Porch Swing, a chalk mine, a barn built without nails and a collection of marbles worth a million dollars! And it’s the home of Thurl Revenscroft so Nebraska must be GRRRRRRRRREAT!

  72. Poteet
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    I spent several days in Nebraska last summer and had a wonderful time. Of course my idea of a wonderful time is looking at plants and inverts, so there’s that.

  73. King Folderol
    March 29th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    #59 – Love the Dave Barry reference.

  74. Quotey
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, purdy drawings lately, but 99% percent of the time Baldo makes me embarrassed to be latina. I only look at that strip when I need a good cringe. Hey, Mr Guy Who Writes Baldo- “Ay carumba!” should never be used as a punchline anywhere outside the safe universe of Telemundo. Please.

  75. Smokin\’ Grassroots
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    Plugger youth know fractions?

    How disillusioning.

  76. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Uh-oh: Earthers beware! Galaxative Emperor Chennux has found a new lackey – and clearly, the lackey’s latest brilliant publicity plan is a trojan horse for Earth-based Destructo-Ray cannons!

  77. Canaduck
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so…you’re a Plugger if you are unfamiliar with the concept of inflation? Either Gramps hasn’t bought a can of soda from a machine in twenty years or so, or he’s constantly facing situations like this as a result of impending dementia. That’s not Plugger; that’s just sad.

  78. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy 47: Regarding your second link: I was oh-so-hoping we’d see the return of the infamous Cretan workingman’s garb…

  79. Trilobite
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    To me, the most amazing part of that Spider-Man strip is in the last panel.

    Imagine you’re the cameraman for the local news, at the scene of a shocking kidnapping. Spider-Man shows up, makes a fairly nonsensical statement, and swings away RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD. Now, ask yourself: where do you point the camera during all of this?

    That’s right, you keep it locked on the smug wrinkly face of J. Jonah Hitler as he sits there with his eyes closed enjoying the moment, because…well, wait a minute…I guess you keep your camera on him because you suck at your job.

    See, this is the beauty of the Spider-Man strip, summed up in a single panel: there is not one single person in that entire universe who is even marginally competent at anything they do. Drivers lose control of their cars for no reason, buildings are mostly made out of loosely-stacked bricks, superheroes spend most of their time watching TV. Quite frankly, it’s a miracle that no one there drowns while trying to eat soup.

  80. Analyzer
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    I think we should just count our blessings that the Plugger and his grandson are the same species.

  81. Dactyl
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    It actually looks like it took 2 artists – both Tom Wilson and Tom II – to draw the later, more minimalist strip. Are maybe Tom II’s job is just to follow “alpha-Wilson” around with an eraser.

  82. Elisabeth
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Are we all equally disturbed at the sight of Brad and Bernice playing suckface?

    And Zits repeated a year (or so) old gag.

  83. alamo
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    hagar — maybe helga wants hagar to clean out her boathouse.

  84. MarrG
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Could someone please help me understand today’s Baby Blues? Mom tells Son he can’t pee in the yard…not because it’s uncivilized and ick, but only because it will harm her flower garden. And then he leers at the marigolds, which seems like a double entendre somehow but I don’t get it.

  85. Poteet
    March 29th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    Ahem (clearing throat) — GALACTIC EMPEROR CHENNUX! I want to apologize once again for my previous grotesquely offensive but entirely unintended implication that you might be in some way responsible for (DT)GT, which of course you are not in any way, and also to point out that Gadge Cubic, in # 76, has just stated that you have taken on Michael Jackson as your lackey. I realize that Michael Jackson is significantly less offensive than (DT)GT, but he’s still Weirdness Walking Around. So are you slightly miffed at Gadge? Are you going to show him just a little of your Imperial Fury? Not that I have anything against Gadge, you understand. I just want to know what the boundaries are for commenting on your personal and political life.

  86. Peter
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    The Calvin & Hobbes soap strip (scroll down.)

  87. Dingo
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about this Brad and Bernice thought balloon. For me, Brad is like the dud in Mystery Date: even though your friends cut him down, you just know that he’s gonna give you a night that still sends a tingle through your loins in the retirement home. Bernice’ brother is all neat and clean and good and charming and… oh, hell, he’s Michael Patterson at war… whereas Brad just makes me want to dress up like a pirate and hover over him in bed shouting, “Stand and DELIVER!”

    Plus, to paraphrase Harvey Fierstein, when Luann falls for Ben you get nothing for heartache. But when you fall for Brad… you at least get cab fare. Hmm… Gerald, remember this.

  88. blase
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    A3G: Suddenly, Luann wakes up in a hospital in Vietnam with a meddling white-haired biddy hovering over her, chattering something about her name really being “Toby” and convincing her to return to her old comic strip…

  89. Portia
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace, 3-29:

    Wow, I can feel the vibes of hatred emitting from my screen. Maybe I would be that ticked, too, if all my parents served me for dinner were vegetables.

    And butter. Don’t forget the butter.

  90. Portia
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Oops . . . make that 3-30.

  91. Dingo
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    It’s nice to see that Brad and TJ are expanding their lucrative decorating business. Mary Worth has taken their match your walls to your heart advice quite well.

  92. Trilobite
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    Friday’s A3G reveals two important things:

    LuAnn is so dippy that she sends her “I’m drowning” dream, a.k.a. the internationally-recognized soap-strip psychic distress call…to herself. Even that poor dumb bastard Dr. Jeff knew to send his dream to Mary Worth.

    This is a fairly common dream among children, and usually represents fears of abandonment. Also, it means that LuAnn is totally going to wet her bed.

  93. Trilobite
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Also, as an aside, due to the squiggly lettering I initially misread panel 2 of Friday’s A3G as “SAVE ME, ALLAH!” and wondered when exactly LuAnn had converted to Islam.

  94. MonkeyHawk
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    My ex- once dragged me to her family’s reunion in Nebraska. Three different times I was led by cousins-in-law to a corner of the park where the Biggest Tree in Nebraska used to be.

    This thread has brought up a lot of dead-end plot lines. The Spidey-Sense-immune brick, dancing Thomas Dewey…but what of the prime rib? The Leonard Nemoy/Satan guy who was found drunk behind the wheel? The chicken-kicker in MT? The guy who chainsawed his leg off? All of these syndicated cul de sacs, and other strips get by with recurring non-jokes. Dagwood runs into the mailman, Cathy (MD) tries on swim suits. Marmaduke’s a big dog.

    Seems like there should be some compensation ot cross of dead-end plots to relieve us from tired old recyled gags. Cathy cuts off a leg in a chansaw accident. Marm’s a big dog hit by a brick. Bumstead’s entire carpool wakes up drunk in an alley. Something…

  95. Jack Seven
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    I like to think that the Baldo cartoonish panel included as an example is the end of Tia Carmen’s coffee date with her new friend, and she’s clumsily inviting him to push his “fresh pork to the back.” If you know what she means.

  96. Dilcue
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    Wow, I began reading the comics in the newspaper again since I’ve wanted to become more involved in current events. Apparently, so I discovered, I no longer need for Josh to read the comics (so I don’t have to) since I complain about each one aloud rather verbosely to the same extent as Josh’s points today. It’s like a local podcast within Starbucks.

  97. Randy S
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    59: They have water in Nebraska?

  98. Mibbitmaker
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    3/30 A3G: Suddenly, the water slows, and two figures from a TV commercial show up. The tall one, Abraham Lincoln, says, “LuAnn, this dream thing’s getting old. It’s making all of us look bad. Besides, you’re dying from paint fumes here!” The shorter one, the hedgehog (or whatever he is), adds, “Plus you just stole the idea from Mary Worth anyway. BOY, are you stupid!” LuAnn, now incensed, tartly replies, “At least I wasn’t rejected by the Geico people, Second-String!” Her thought bubble adds, “Gee, that was bitchy. I’ve been hanging around Margo too long!”

  99. Patrick
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Where I work, the pop machines require an investment of $1.25. And they don’t take my Susan B. Anthony dollars *or* confederate money. I’m a hardcore plugger, evidently.

  100. Mibbitmaker
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:46 am [Reply]


    Marvin: Not exactly the goldfish in Mutts, is it? Besides, the answer would be “Yes, I’ll just walk through the netting hole directly in front of me…”

    FOOB: Once again, jump cut from suspicious, peeking, overly-inquisitive Ellie to both parents being oblivious, even when April makes cell calls, and brings money outside to her boyfriend. Next thing you know, the whole thing gets jettisoned for Liz and Warren about to leave the party and……. oh, yeah…

    Lockhorns: We’ll do the snark here, Loretta!

    Garfield: “…it… it sounded like Mr. Magoo for some reason.”

    RMMD: Yeah, how dare he insinuate she sounds like Fran Drescher! He’s making Rex very angry. He wouldn’t like Rex when he’s angry. Rex turns into… the INCREDIBLE BORE!

    JP: Gee, “Truman Show” France is getting rather sloppy, isn’t it?

    MW: Third panel: Mary’s 2nd panel glassy-eyed Moonie look gets replaced with a Bitchy-Bitch scowl (minus the misandry) while she crushes the phone receiver to fragments in her hand. Vera went too far!

    MT: My only comment is that I focused on the dialogue in panel one from Trail: “What I believe.” (apologies to Steve Martin)

    What I believe:

    I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was: an Arctic region covered with ice!

    I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there’s a game on…

  101. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: “Gerald! Ditch the bottle! Here’s 14 bucks. It’s all I’ve got. A cab’s going to meet you on the corner. Go!”

    Pretty much sums up April’s hellish life ahead, if Mike continues with his fantasy dream.

  102. Mr. O’Malley
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    44. Trotzenbonnie, what’s so great about sliced bread? Except for the advantage to places that sell bread, because your bread goes stale much faster. And wasn’t it “six full ounces, that’s a lot”?

    62. Pelagius, I have seen not one but two mouse holes kind of like that. A couple of summers ago I was sitting at my computer in the evening when I heard a strange noise. I soon discovered that a mouse had eaten a hole just like that in my window screen. He then proceeded to run around all over my printer and various other desktop stuff while I looked around for something to swat him with. When I eventually found something, he went back out the window, not through his first hole, but eating another one on the way out.

    I imagine it would take a bit longer to eat through wood, but I guess that the classic cartoon mouse hole is based on the houses of poor people whose walls were fairly flimsy. Mice can squeeze themselves through very tiny spaces if they have to.

  103. AppleGirl
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    For those of you who haven’t clicked the link in #14, Dean Booth’s Jack Elrod’s Automatic Speech Balloon Positioning Device is HILARIOUS. At one point, I even got the telephone pole talking!

    Also works in Safari on a Mac.

  104. AppleGirl
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    A3G – Is Luann dreaming of the same Alan that Margo likes? The guy with the gallery, the blue suit, and the niece’s birthday party? If so… um… those girls don’t have very good gaydar.

  105. ben
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Isn’t the “telenovela” conceit in “Baldo” a bit like “Tracer Bullet” in “Calvin and Hobbes”?

  106. AppleGirl
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    TDIET – I’m no geologist, but it looks like M. Heffernand of St. Louis is a little bitter that her son is a slow learner. So…like… blame the teacher, oh yeah!

  107. april glaspie
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    Pluggers believe you can go for a walk in Sadr City without body armor. I know comics are supposed to be a respite from reality, but when Dickless appoints a Pretezledent and then appoints himself President and shoots some guy in the face, Pluggers isn’t unintentionally funny any more.

    Pluggerss never served, and they spend mucho dinero, comprende, to slander people that went to war and don’t consider themselves heroes

    Pluggers think it’s quaint to torture prisoners. Pluggers think it’s quaint if you figure you have Constitutional rights to be secure i your home

  108. Mr. O’Malley
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    SF: Wow, Trotzenbonnie, you called it in advance. An amazing display of psychic powers!

    TDIET: Um, Al, they have “social promotion” now.

  109. Trilobite
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    #104 – Applegirl:

    I thought the same thing, so I went back and checked: it turns out that the guy Margo’s giving the Bentley to is named “Eric Mills.” Alan is (apparently) someone else.

    Somewhere in the world of A3G there is a factory turning out identical suit-wearing mannequin-men whose primitive circuitry and bland appearance makes them ideal love interests for these girls. I can’t imagine there’s much money in it, or fame, or even any real point in doing it…so probably it’s the work of some Spider-Man villain.

    “YES!” cries Kordok, waving a fist awkwardly over his mullet-head as he watches the TV screen. “MY PLAN IS A SUCCESS! SOON ALL THE RESIDENTS OF APARTMENT 3G WILL BE DATING MY ROBOT ARMY! …EXCEPT FOR TOMMIE, BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST BE STUPID!”

  110. Jack Parsons
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    62: Pelagius

    Here in California, my life-long home, there are no wool-eating moths.

    And no Jews. We have white people who go to temple. Sammy and Abie at the deli with the (gesture of round hat) and the (gesture of sideburn curls) and the (gesture of weird shawl) we don’t got. They have guilt, but hide it well. In the closet they are with their guilt. And their gelt.

    I did have a mousehole. I got to hear it get dug out all night long. Fun.

  111. Jack Parsons
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    Poteet: they have inverts in Nebraska? Don’t they all leave to get jobs elsewhere? Nebraskans don’t hire interior decorators, hairdresser, or actors, and the state licensing board for antique dealers is very thorough in its heterosexualism testing.

  112. Adjuster
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    Check out today’s Gasoline Alley. I’ve never seen such a mismatch between the words and the images except maybe in Gil Thorp.

    Maybe this is Scancarelli’s homage to Beckett – Joy and Dawn are Vladimir and Estragon, toiling endlessly, waiting for a release that never comes… as long as there are dishes.

    It’s really a perceptive metacomment on the state of the funny pages: “You will laugh because I tell you to, even though you see nothing but suffering. Such is the way of all comics, and FBoFW and FW are just the most obvious. Life on the newsprint is painful and meaningless. Now laugh. (giggle!)”

  113. Dingo
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    One of my nieces had an internship during college on a farm in Nebraska. From where she was living, it was an hour and a half to Wal*Mart and that was considered THE store. Granted, that Cornhusker logo always gets me wonderin’ if it’d take six beers or just three to take him from tight end to wide receiver, but I still think I’ll take the canyons of Illinois.

    Speaking of which… keep voting please!!!! Enjoy Illinois – especially Starved Rock State Park If it wins, maybe the Illinois curmudgeons can have a hike there.

  114. Dingo
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    Oh, they didn’t make the site very advanced. All you need to do is toss your cookies and you can vote again.

  115. True Fable
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:52 am [Reply]

    As I warned, this is a part of my Rant Extravaganza. The whole thing is on the discussion forum, this is just the bile germaine to the current issue. The rest is just me tearing into FOOB in general.

    Maybe next time I’d better not save up my rant, this one put a crack in my keel. XD

    First of all, it’s running concurrently with the Mike Is A Genius Party storyarc, so built-in irritation is a given. Second, she is a teenager with a boyfriend, on Friday night, all alone in the house except for her nephew and niece. It sounds like any description of a sitcom episode, “and hilarity ensued.” Some teens do this and sure, there’s some hand holding and light petting to be had, and since Apwil and Gerald have known each other for two YEARS and still haven’t done much until lately, there’s no real guarantee of fireworks anyway.
    So Gerald shows up unexpectedly. What? Didn’t he tell her he might come over? Oh right, April is a Patterson, she conveniently forgot he said anything. And he shows up with a bottle of wine. If I didn’t know better, I would suspect that is Lynnese for “I have a condom in my pocket.”

    When I was a teen, we would sneak a couple of beers from the six pack in the fridge, jump in the pickup and drive to the county line road to hang out and drink with school chums. The only wine we could have ever got hold of was either some of that fruity Boone’s Farm crap, or the already opened bottle from last Sunday’s dinner. And, we wouldn’t have brought wine anyway because that was considered pretty snooty for high school kids, sort of like listening to NPR instead of the Top Forty as a high school sophomore. Beer is more user friendly for the gotta-get-drunk crowd, which is what the average high school kid category is. I’m talking average lemmings following the crowd, not the independent kids who follow a different drummer just because they like to.

    Sure, she should have told him “I’m babysitting, I can’t have friends over when I’m working” but she’s a TEENAGER. Hate to admit it but Lynn’s right on this point. They do stuff like that. But she left out the next step: April’s bra isn’t even unhooked, what the hell is up with that? Any boy who’s going to show up with a bottle of wine and sprawls on the bed should be showing off his unhooking and groping skills, and any girl who’s going to let him in and lay on the bed with him, is going to let him.

    And they almost get caught, so what does Mr. Genius say? “I don’t have a ride home!” What do you expect April to do about it? What were you planning to do if the ‘rents stayed out until midnight, fool, you would STILL need a ride home! You planned everything but the getaway. Toad. So April calls a cab. Oh, sure! Here comes the cab pulling up in front of the house, and John or Elly will wonder, Why is Gerald hailing a cab from here? Say; what was he even doing here? Toadette. But no; Friday shows that April has the cab pick him up down the street. Plus two points for thinking ahead on her part, unlike Gerald the non-planner. I don’t know anything about Canadian cabs and I sure don’t know where Gerald lives, so let’s hope fourteen bucks will get Mr. Smooth home.
    And yes let’s talk about John and Elly, who are totally clueless to the whole detour on the roadside thing. That means April has gotten away with it, and I will bet you anything that she will FEEL GUILTY about fooling her parents into thinking she’s a good kid. Gosh, I should have been more responsible to the kiddies. Golly, I shouldn’t have drunk wine. Gee, I shouldn’t have stroked Gerald’s stem until it puked. Gawd, I shouldn’t have swallowed.
    Elly’s on to her in Thursday’s strip, though: see how her head all but bobbles as April’s rushing downstairs to hide the wine bottle or shoo Gerald off the property or whatever. Ah yes, the all-seeing, all-knowing, all wise Elly Patterson. Any other time she’d just come home and brag about Mike and flap her arms and complain about the heat but not today, her radar is on and she detects illicit groping in the air! Gee, Lynn, Elly’s just the greatest smartest cagiest mom in the whole wide world! Maybe it’s the wine on April’s breath? Maybe but we’ll never know it by how the strip reads! Ah, but she went to bed, and what a stunner of a twist in development! Elly is even smiling in satisfaction! They believe April is their wholesome little girl! Why, that can only mean one thing – she’s SURE to feel guilty next week! Why do this whole story without some kind of saintly self-punishment? Why, she may even feel bad about talking about Becca’s roadside gig!

    And let’s not forget, Liz is busy strong-arming Warren to keep his distance and worship her from afar. Warren was okay in my book until I saw the 3-31 preview where he’s leaping for joy because Saint Liz deemed it possible that she will allow him to admire her at some point in the future. What a TOOL. Now I have no respect for him whatsoever. If Gerald does the same thing over April, I will hate him too.

    Oh, to be fair, if April had let Gerald tag any bases than first, editors would have had a fit and not run it “because this is a family paper!” Isn’t that a good reason to run a jumping off point for parents to talk to their kids about sex? Oh, guess not. Let’s just yell abstinence and expect that to cover it all.
    We were hoping they’d get caught “in the act”, probably had a good laugh over April clutching a sheet to her tiny breasts as Gerald fumbled for clothing, and we could have all mocked Elly as she lectured the pair. Come on, that’s what we wanted to see, you know it is. But this, THIS would be an opportunity for Lynn to have one of those “very special episode” arcs and make another buck with a book about it, “How NOT to have Teen Sex!” that she can shill for $19.99 on the website.

    If done with the right amount of understanding, reality and humor, it might have been pretty good. If done without the hindrance of Family Papers, it could be used as a pretty entertaining sex education booklet. But this is Lynn Johnston, and her perfect Patterscum. April would not go roadside or bedside or offside, or whatever it is. She dodged a bullet this time and there’s no telling if she’ll complete the journey by September or not. That all depends on which soapbox Lynn wants to yell from. Personally I think her online description of the punks at the bookstore make a much more interesting storyline than Weed’s pretentious and totally superfluous Party for the Contract, or the Liz plays Garbo, I Vant to Be Alone storylines.
    So April didn’t make out with Gerald. No shirts were off, no pants undone, just hands at the waist and a little sucking face. So? Have April make out with one of the punks at the bookstore in front of Elly, now THAT would be a comic strip story I’d get behind! Take that, bitch.

  116. True Fable
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    Josh, if you decide to cut # 115 rant I will completely understand. I didn’t realize until it hit here, that you could land an Airbus on that mother.


  117. Oracle Steven
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    I just want to point out that today’s BC only makes sense if you assume that the caller forgot to call the girlfriend on her birthday and that the girlfriend is completely unreasonable.

  118. Len
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    Poor Miss Loveheart! She can’t get used to the free-spirited sexual mores of the 21rst Century. (How old did Bearded Lady say she was? Is that 42 or 92?)

    Perhaps the scream from the advice columnist was in recognition of her old flame, Quacko. How many Human Ducks are there likely to be in the population?

    (Ubiqui-ducks are another thing entirely. Most sexually active denizens of the 21rst Century have had at least one fling with a Ubiqui-duck. I mean, like, you find them EVERYWHERE. Sexy damn waterfowl!)

    Meanwhile, in todays’ Mark Trail, the esteemed Naturalist is studying patterns in the migratory flights of geese. That cruel old Jack Elrod has drawn Mark so that his bouncy buttocks are bisected by the lower margin, making them appear much less pinchable.

    BOO!, Jack Elrod!

  119. Oracle Steven
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:47 am [Reply]

    I forgot it was yesterday when this all started, so in my earlier post, I meant to say tomorrow’s BC. Well, the 30th anyway.

  120. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    #115 True Fable – great FOOBtastical rant, always necessary as well.

    What you see as the inconsistencies and slip-ups in the behavior of the teens, is to me the continuing proof this is all Mike’s dream. He NEVER would have known any of the worldy ways, that consists of, say, the chance to sneak out of the house, jump into the car with some friends, and your latest “date”, a bottle of the Boone’s Farm proxy, or just the case of beer, and park somewhere to get on with the nite. Nah.
    As such, he can’t also imagine it for April and Geraldiot. Same with the “escape plan”. It’s a fantasy, thus Gerald is at the door all of a sudden, with no thought to escaping, and April is all “wha..” but still obliging in a sort of automaton way, and a bottle of wine goes down without effecting anyone (cause Michael never experienced ANY of that).
    Recall, Michael wants to take over the whole house in fact. If anything, this past sequence has been about discovering the house from another perspective, that makes it a bit more “sinister” for the Patterson’s. It’s Mi-mi-michael making up all those new perspectives, rooms, furniture and uses, so that he gets them to MOVE and he wins it all.
    And where is his all important Dee?

  121. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 5:45 am [Reply]

    #14 and yesterthread Dean Booth: The Jack Elrod automatic balloon-positioning device is one of the greatest inventions I have ever seen. Also one of the funniest! I’m very glad you reposted so more folks can see it.

    Now: where is everybody? One of the few times I’m up in the middle of the night and there’s practically no action. I thought you curminions partied all night long!

  122. Jamus The Bartender
    March 30th, 2007 at 5:51 am [Reply]

    FOOB: 115, 120, I can’t improve on that…except for two things.
    1. I think I saw this sequence on 24, except it involved terrorists and Jack Bauer making someone swallow a towel.
    2. April seems to be telepathic( The “go” as Gerald dashes off to find a cab) which actually explains a lot.

  123. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    MT: Today’s strip confirms something I have long suspected, which is that apparently in the underground Kingdom of Zork, editing is forbidden. On earth, “that nearest cove” would have been changed to either “the nearest cove” or “that cove over there.” cvhyufjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj (This was Google’s contribution. He doesn’t understand MT’s incoherence.)

    JP: I admit I haven’t been paying very close attention to this story line since Brooklyn La Douce went back to work, but haven’t Abbey and Neddy been walking for hours now? What time is it, anyway? They started out in the morning, then it got to be afternoon and time to go home, and now it looks like around four AM. No wonder nobody is around. Wasn’t the subway supposed to be a block or two away? Have they become the feminized version of the Flying Dutchman, doomed to wander the earth forever, or until true love comes along? No, that can’t be it–they’ve already turned down several opportunities for true love.

    RMMD: I’m less interested in Milton Avery and his sons than I was in Troy and Rex’s three-month golf game. The only good thing here is that based on recent experience we can be reasonably certain the new story line will end in gunplay.

  124. One_Radish_Sobs
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man 3/30 — it is clear that the limo-driving criminal does not have children. “Child safe” unopenable-from-the-inside rear doors (and door locks for that matter) exist for a reason. AND what aspiring starlet is going to throw herself from a moving vehicle? risking road rash on her marketable face? Bah!

  125. Justafoob
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    It is so refreshing to see that Saint Elly and Saint John are blissfully unaware that Apewill was felating her drunken boyfriend in the basement. And was acting damned mysterious when they came home.

    All they wanted to do was go to bed and sleep off all the Kool-Aid and Cheetoes that had been cramming in their face over at “The Party” (as it has become to be know in that part of Canada).

    As an aside, Weed and the rest were glad when the old farts left. Then they broke out the serious substances of the night…… OREOS!!!!!!

  126. smacky
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    So Phantom sends Devil in to steal the machine gun from the bad guy, then gloats, “Criminals trust in firepower! I’d rather have you on my side any day!”

    …says the man with a pistol strapped to his hip. Hypocrite!

    Guess that’s just backup for the inevitable day Devil is a half-second slower than the baddie.

    Oh yeeahhhhhhhh!

  127. vanya
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – as many people pointed out back with the last mouse strip, it is clear that Ziggy is really about a lonely delusional man who is so far gone he can’t even be bothered to wear pants anymore and talks to imaginary animals. He is probably only a few weeks away from becoming the next Jeffery Dahmer.

    FOOB – I don’t get the ranting, not yet anyway. I was pleasantly surprised to see a storyline with April consistently acting like an independent interesting character. She welcomes Gerald into her bed instead of getting prudish on us, or setting up a “very special date rape episode” which I was truly dreading. She immediately takes control of the situation Dawn-style when the parents come home. At this point April may be the only sympathetic character in the strip, and I can only wait eagerly for vampires to kill the rest of the Pattersons and set April off on her life-long mission of vengeance.

    So who’s listened to April’s song on the website? Apparently April sings like a 25 year old, who would have guessed?

  128. stinky pete
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    123 O’F, the dialog in MT’s panel 1 is no less clunky, rendered more so by the fact that Mark is talking to his dog. I’m no thoracic surgeon, but I don’t think Andy understands.

    As for JP, applying the conversion factor for serial strip time to real time, I think they have been walking for about 3 minutes.

    Other random thoughts:

    GT, panel 1 – wha-a-a?? Exactly where is the basketball here? Based on the position of their arms, the girl/Romulan on the left appears to be a few feet to the right of Tori Terry, making her the worst defender since Lloyd (World B.) Free. The girl on the right has her arm raised, but where is her hand? Cleaning Tori’s right ear? Use a key, for God’s sake.

    Finally, can’t let Curtis go without a quotation mark alert. “Rap.” What, not “rap” junk?

  129. stinky pete
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    Also have to agree with 127 Vanya. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on FOOB because I don’t pay that much attention to it, but it’s hard to avoid when you read the comments here. Lots of people were ready to have April and Gerald caught in flagrante delicto and for a freak-out by the parents. Any apologies due to LJ? My guess is that the truth will come out eventually, Elly will freak out but John will be pretty cool about it. Or vice versa. Or not. Either way, it’s nothing compared to a talking potato.

  130. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Wille and Dean – your art is just gut-busting. The potato strip, Chatterbox, and the MT balloon placer just made my bellybutton pop off.
    It’s not so bad, though – now I have another place on my body to insert a text callout if I so desire.

    You’ve also made me think seriously about buying Photoshop.

    I’m a little dissapointed with Elrod today because he copped out by only giving us two panels, not 3. I guess he is compensating by adding a few more geese to the mix.

    FOOB – now that Gerald is free and clear, I’m guessing Elly will find something suspicious when she goes to shave the sheets and carpet in April’s sex lair.
    How-to-book, glasses o’cheap booze, BNL CD’s, condoms?
    Oh, and Happy Birfday, widdle Apwil. You deserve a good shake for putting up with the schizoid melting pot that is the Patterfoob Residence.
    I’m wondering if I should torture myself by listening to her “song.”

  131. True Fable
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    MT “Hmm… if I were a no-good dirty lowdown cheat with the prerequisite moustache firmly in place, where would I be? I’ll ask my dog, because he’s the brains of this outfit.”
    FC Jeffy is standing right in front of Billy, so why is Dolly standing to the side with a big dumb grin on her excessively large head? Staring off into space to a point beyond Billy, hopefully it’s Gramma who’s going to wail the beejeesus out of that boy’s butt for talking smarty.
    RMMD News Flash: Rex apparently doesn’t like Fran Drescher. Chill, man. Prescribe yourself a little something.
    SFx 1. The ducks in the first panel are leaving the party at Mark Trail’s house; the ducks in the second panel are the main course at Cathy’s.
    2. The turtle will represent Judge Parker storylines in panel one; in panel two he’s out for himself.
    3. Neither owl got to the center of the tootsie roll pop.
    4. The first van is empty; the second is transporting Mole Preener Sonar Units.
    5. Panel One Van is painted off-white; Panel Two Van is light marshmellow in color.
    6. Panel One bird is aiming at the raccoon’s head. Panel Two bird is about to lay an egg instead.

  132. Colonial
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    3/29 Baldo — Why is Tia Carmen hanging out with Cesar Romero?

    3/30 MT — all this talk about where Dan is, and no one’s even looked behind that giant wall rug? We already know it swallows lamps and other props — I could see it swallow humans and Elrod eggs.

    Speaking of which, one of the geese needs to pick up her Elrod egg before Cherry uses it with the potato and milk to make dinner.

    3/30 MW — does Charterstone have bulletin boards or newsletters to let residents know about upcoming events, or does Mary lack such a personal life that she must call every resident every day to let them know about everything going on there?

  133. Harry Worth
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Turn down an invitation to a Charterstone party?

    I think that you had better reevaluate your decision, Vera.

    You don’t want “Mary and the Intervention Team” to show up in your apartment.

    The last time somebody went against that august group they wound up dead.

  134. Islamorada Girl
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Baldo— (out of side of mouth) Look Mary, isn’t that Carmen over there in the produce section! Don’t look! Don’t look directly at her! And isn’t she with Gary Dent- – don’t look right at them, they’ll see us staring! Gary Dent and Carmen! Wait til they hear about this at the Chatterstone pool party! Oh, my gawd, they’re going to the coffee bar! Don’t look! Ooooh, my gawd! Can you believe it? Dont’ look!

  135. dreadedcandiru2
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    115 – True Fable, you are preaching to the converted here! All I would add is that TrainMan would have to be the biggest Margoing idiot in the western hemisphere for not paying fucking attention to his kid like that! And StaLynn has no real idea how ironic his ill-informed chunk of self-promotion is. Or can you not imagine the giddy bungle Mikerobe or Lizardbreath would have made of a similar situation?

  136. Squawk
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    You’re a plugger if you say “cola” instead of a name brand like Coke or Pepsi.

  137. Barbara P
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    The question I have is – would Sally Forth’s husband like this comic strip? Is Tia Carmen the kind of woman he’s talking about?

  138. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    #136 – in April’s Sheet Shaving world, it’s often called Pop. Midwest US too.

  139. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    #129 stinky pete – apologies to Lynn for dragging things out instead of actually producing real plots and characters? Please…April didn’t behave independant – that would have been her telling off Gerald for not respecting her more, and to get his his damn ride figured out and quit complaining to her what to do next. THAT would be independant. She would have told him to get up off the bed, and do it on the couch like any teenager. That lazy slob didn’t warrant any full bottle of wine and open couch bed till yet, and in real plots, the independant character April would have been smart enough to give him the whole play in one easy night. She’s the female guitarist in the band for god sake! “Rock on” April

  140. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    oops – maybe some projection here: I meant “the independant character April would have been smart enough to NOT give him the whole play in one easy night.”

  141. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    Dean Booth

    I just finished the yesterthread and could you please try to limt the renderings to 1 per thread? Please? I like to dry off between spews.

  142. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    LOL – the Courtney Love of Ontario.
    “Rock on”

  143. Dennis Jimenez
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:08 am [Reply]

    A3G – Holy Vitus Gerlitis – CO alert.

    RMMD – Slutty nurse alert.

    TDIET – Hekkie – 4/20 break alert.

    SF – Euphemistic Boxcar alert.

  144. AAckTTpth
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    There is something to be said for April getting away with her little escapade; I know there’s quite a few things I got away with in my parent’s basement that they were (hopefully) blissfully unaware.

    I think Lynn is scaring the crap out of her target audience. The 40-60 female group with teenagers are collectively turning to their kids and asking if their boyfriends have come over for snogging sessions. The husbands of these women have a faraway look in their eyes, remembering their days of almost getting busted by their girlfriend’s parents, which is *much* better than getting busted by their bosses for surfing porn at work although it didn’t seem that way at the time.

    I still hate this series because a) it isn’t going anywhere, unless Gerald gets offered a ride from Paul Bernardo as he waits for his taxi, and b) it takes away from Mike’s party and the Liz/Warren thing, which is much more irritating.

    BTW, I think $14 should get you about 5km/3 miles at that time of night in the ‘burbs.

  145. Fferret
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Pardon me if this is OT, but who’s the girl modeling the ‘Margo Quotes’ shirt on today’s page? She bear a eEEEEeeeeerie resemblence to my 15-year-old daughter. No, seriously.

  146. Dean Booth
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    JT: How long have Abbey and Neddy been in Paris? I think they arrived yesterday (it’s the night of their second day). It’s been enough real-time for Mary to go to Vietnam to un-save the children, get back to send Ella packing, and have Vera deny her meddling (Missy!).

  147. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    #133 – Harry, I was going to snark on MW, but yours was better, and I’d be a mere anti-climactic shadow now. Thanks for ruining my day.

    In other news, the Trans-Atlantic Aviation Administration reported that Milton Avery’s plane was swatted from the sky by a fifty foot laser shooting robotic Michael Jackson that became sentient in a freak lightning strike and now wants to wreak vengeance over the Earth.

    #76 – Gadge, that’s going to give me nightmares for weeks, you know. Can you say it out loud with a straight face? FIFTY FOOT LASER SHOOTING ROBOTIC MICHAEL JACKSON! I certainly can’t.

  148. vanya
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    April’s song is so awful, I retract the nice things I said above. If you want a hint how bad it is – the first two lines rhyme “sayin’ it loud” with “gotta be proud”. For you younger folk, that’s the rock equivalent of rapping “My name is XX and I’m here to say…”

  149. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Seriously, if we sent that thing to Iraq, we’d be done in a week.

    “Abdul, what was that?”
    “Probably mortar fire.”
    THUD! (see ripples in Abdul’s coffee cup)
    “Doesn’t sound like…. ” (both turn and look to see the FIFTY FOOT LASER SHOOTING ROBOTIC MICHAEL JACKSON!)

    Insurgents (collectively): We surrender! We have no defense against such a frightening weapon! … Can it moonwalk?

  150. Mary Worth's VSD
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    54- “You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.”

  151. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Are you a plugger if you think it only takes C$14 for a cab ride in the ‘burbs at midnight?

  152. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    #148 – see, that’s the problem with considering giving a compliment or even a BREAK to Lynn…

  153. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Mallard: Wow, day two with a useless, obscure statistic. How about asking all the rabbis, pastors, reverends and priests what is the atomic weight of oxygen? How about taking a poll asking how many people STILL believe Saddam had WMD’s? It’s just like Tinsley to take the results of a poll and take them out of context to advance some ultraconservative agenda. You suck, duck.

    My prediction is that tomorrow’s strip will have “Sodom & Gomorrah” confused with “Simon & Garfunkel” somehow. “Didn’t they write “Bridge Over Troubled Water”? Hahahaha. There, beat you to the punch. Now your strip can be replaced with something less annoying, like a paper cut on my index finger and a splinter on my thumb.

  154. Herro!
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    A3-G: In panel two, it looks more like Slylock Fox. Find the bobble-head in this picture!

    Or, alternatively, what’s missing from this picture?
    A: Her neck!

  155. Mr. Coffee Nerves
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Gerald will never end up with April.

    She gave him a specific order to lose the bottle of Geddy Lee’s “Barchetta Red” and he is clearly still clutching it as he scurries away from her telepathic scream.

    Saint Elly would never tolerate such insolence, and April — being her mother’s daughter — will remember this disobedience and throw it in Gerald’s face until he is eventually driven over the edge. The last panel of FOOB will be Gerald atop the CN Tower hurling hocks of back bacon and empty Molson bottles at the crowd before falling under a hail of Mountie gunfire.

    Sorry, that’s the penultimate panel. The last panel will be Mike and Weed moving to Saskatchewan to raise Alpacas together.

  156. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    TDIET: How can anyone expect Hekkie to learn in six weeks what he couldn’t learn in ten months? I’m no geologist, but because the public schools taught him once already, you’d think that he would have some grasp of the subject. You’d think that being offered a second chance would possibly motivate him to pay attention this time? Certainly, when asked the 50 point bonus question on his final exam “Are Sodom & Gomorrah married?” he’d have the sense to know that the word “sodomy” means assfuck, and that gay marriages are not recognized in Nebraska.

  157. Jeanne
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    How the heck far does Gerald live from April that he needs cab fare to get home? Doesn’t he have legs?

    And, please, please, PLEASE, don’t let April go and confess her almost sins to Holy Mother, Ellie, out of unimaginable guilt.

    The best denoument to this could be Mike’s female spawn toddling over to April, in front of the whole family, and asking why she and Gerald were playing like mommie and daddie in bed last night when she got up to go potty.

  158. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    You know what I’d really love to see come the September apocalypse of the Foobs, where all time comes to a stop, and we are merely treated to the enduring torture of the Patterson lives in retrospect, with no advancement? I’d like to see John & Elly’s youth when they were dating. When was that? The 60′s? Drug takin’, parent hatin’, free lovin’, hot-hot-hot hippie-on-hippiette action in the back of a VW van (that now belongs to Jeremy and Hector). Why would I want to see such a vulgar display of unwashed carnality on my comics pages? Just to see the now pious, prim and proper Patterson parents be exposed for the hypocritical, sancimonious pricks that they are. I’m sure they decieved crew-cut Jim with their lies, schemes and midnight nookie runs. I’d love to learn that Mike was born five months after John & Elle tied the knot. That would all be a hoot.

  159. will
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    I’m just impressed that Ziggy has something to “joke” about which is undeniably characteristic of early twenty-first century life. Unlike the usual “hijinks” involving the savings-and-loan scandal or the OJ Simpson trial or the men’s fashion for pantless tunics.

  160. jules
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    I apologize in advance for not reading the comments first; this all may have already been said. Here goes anyway!

    A3G: Didn’t we already do this? Alan’s all at sea! I can’t tell: are these actual reruns, or are they doing this dreaming-at-the-studio story AGAIN? It wasn’t that good the first time, except for the line “I’m all at sea!”

    GF: I spewed coffee all over my paper once again this morning. “Note to self: eat only low quality canned food and drive Wilco out of this house using odor warfare.” I love you, Bucky!

    MT: Oh, thank GOD we got away from Cherry today. Strange, strange things start happening (and talking) when Cherry’s around.

    TDIET: Oh dear God. I agree with the concept of today’s panel. *dies*

  161. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Now, if St. Elle has to drive out in the middle of the night to get Gerald, I’ll vomit. Not regurgitate or “throw up in my mouth a little bit”, but I will seriously eject the contents of my entire gastrointestinal tract all over the newspaper with extreme prejudice.

    Let’s just hope that I read the strip that day in the paper instead of online.

    And I can hear it now “Is it even possible to eject the entire contents of your GI tract? I’m no geologist but.. .”

  162. jules
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    *comes around*

    Oh, I guess TDIET didn’t kill me after all. Thank God. I’m only 35.

    FOOB: April paid Gerald for not having sex with her. She’s a Bizarro Hooker!

  163. Hogen Mogen
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: I’m sure that if you look back through the annals of the Zigmeister, you’d find that joke has been recycled several times with equally dismal results (wouldn’t it make more sense to recycle only the good jokes – oh yeah, this is Ziggy and this is as good as it gets). Wi-fi, cell phone, fax machine, answering machine, microwave, refrigerator, dishwasher, temporal distortion device, central heating & A/C – you get the picture.

  164. man behind the curtain
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    FBOW — This was all Gerald’s plan to get $14 in order to score some weed. Now he’s headed around the corner to his car and his other girlfriend, Eva.

  165. dimestore lipstick
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    # 14, Dean Booth

    Holy crap that’s fun!

  166. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    The Song.
    The “Song.”
    Oh, man.
    I need to take one of those nasty high-powered NSAIDs I got from the Dentist.
    My head really does hurt now.
    But she did say “Hell.”
    I think she needs lyrics lessons from Liz Phair, Alanis, or at the very least a talking potato.
    (If you all to know the Liz lyric I’m referring to, I’ll post it here, but it’s not for the FOOBs or the fainthearted.)

  167. Mary Worth
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    #14 that’s awesome!!!!!

  168. Allie Cat
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Foob – When my sister and I were 13 and 11
    respectively, our parents went out of town on an extended vacation, and one of my mother’s friends came to stay with us – she was a single woman, maybe 26 or so?

    Anyhoo – she had a male companion come over one night and we snuck downstairs to see them making out on the couch.

    Were we traumatized? Hell no, we thought it was great! We went back upstairs, giggled amongst ourselves and went to bed.

    Neither of us ever mentioned it to her or our folks.

    Making out while babysitting may not be totally kosher, but it’s done.

    And April’s about to turn 16? Well, let her have some fun – I guarantee her night was better than St. Michael’s.

    But don’t you think Dee might like to get really freaky-freaky sometimes? I kind of think she would.

  169. dimestore lipstick
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    #52, Harry Paratestes–

    I relate to the abuse–Heck, mine didn’t even come in a box. The cheap “Starsky Shoes” rip-offs my parents bought us were dug out of a bin at KaMeAparRT and tied together with string.

  170. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    #162 Jules –

    In Soviet Canuckistan, teenage prostitute pays you!

    Changing gears:

    Momma (3/30): No, actually, Momma, that letter from the entire US is addressed to the creator of the strip.

    Rhymes with Orange (3/30): Humpty Dumpty sat on a tack / Humpty Dumpty leaked out his crack.

  171. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Hey, Trotzenbonnie! You got a shout-out in today’s Sally Forth!

  172. Justafoob
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    I, for one, cannot wait until the April Letters are up on the Foobsite.

    Apewill’s will be something along the lines “it was so bogus, me n Gerold were just getting hot and steaming, We had downed some Foobsfarm Strawberry Hill and I had his thing in my hands and was getting ready to kiss it when the ‘rents pulled into the garage. Man did that suck. And I was out $14 bucks(Canadian) so that he could hop a cab home. What was he going to do if he had done me and left later? Man, life sucks. I think that I will have to go see my friend Shannon to find out what it all means.”

    I think I will avoid the rush and vomit now…

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: Man, is Luann gonna have to take a whiz. I hope she can wake up and get to the john first.
    FC: Billy sets up the joke, and in the caption, Satan delivers the punchline. He’s encouraging the kids to show disrespect to their elders.
    S-M: “Oh yeah, lock the doors. Knew I was forgetting something. Well, live and learn.”
    JP: The seedy side of Paris has much the same tones as a $6 greeting card painted in Vermont.
    RMMD: Something touches on Rex’s deep-seated fear of Fran Drescher.
    Agnes: Girl must have seen “The Rapture.”
    FOOB: Thus the idea is planted in Gerald’s mind that his bedroom skillz can get him paid. He will be sadly disabused later in life.
    BB: Sarge ain’t pullin’ out until he’s done, son.
    OBH: Yeah, just like in Snuffy Smith.
    Marvin: Considering the big hole in the netting right in front of him, I’d say yeah, Marvin can come out and play.,

  174. Mazement
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Hello, 911? Get me Dr. Jeff! Dr. Jeff? The new tenant doesn’t want to go to the Charterstone party! I need you to come over right away and sign a commitment order!”

    FOOB: Based on Thursday’s strip, I think Elly knows that’s something’s up. John is still completely oblivious, and he’s the one delivering the “…teenager we don’t have to worry about” in Friday’s strip. Elly is smiling in anticipation of the flood of sanctimony she’s going to deliver after she’s fully rested.

  175. treedweller
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: That puppy cub kid is not the plugger’s grandson. The plugger is a pederast, but the kid is just confused because, What can you buy for a quarter? Even the air at the gas station costs 75 cents now.

    You’re a plugger if you have Alzheimer’s.

  176. David C
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    I really like the artist’s “realistic” style on Baldo. Which is really only relatively realistic. It’s quite cartoonishly expressive, still. I’d love to see this artwork on, say, Apartment 3-G.

  177. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:51 am [Reply]


    So now you’re letting Google comment? Welcome aboard, our newest Curminion! Remember: spew, don’t spray!

    O’F, you still looking for jokes? Don’t know if you can boil this down to a two-liner, but here goes:

    A mother and her 4 year-old son are in a store and he needs to use the bathroom. She says “Come with me” and he says “Mom! I’m old enough to go on my own!” So she takes him to the men’s room, waits anxiously outside, and a few minutes later he emerges, smiling. She asks, “Did you remember to wash your hands?” He gives her a puzzled look and says “Mom, I only used two fingers.”

  178. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    True Fable, you beat me to the Fran Drescher joke. Inquiring minds think alike, I guess.

  179. rich
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    81, Dactyl: Note how they carefully positioned Ziggy’s body in front of the “hole.”

    Tom 2′s job is to draw in Ziggy’s huge genitals; Tom 1′s job is erasing them out.

  180. Pelagius
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    #110 Jack Parsons: No black housemaids screaming “Lawzy!” either, thank god. Do they even show those T&J cartoons any more? I hope not.

  181. UnderstatementJones
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    153 Hogen – the best part about Mallard is that the conclusion of the article and book he referenced was that even fundamentalist Christians were mostly unfamailiar with the actual bible, preferring to make up their theology.

  182. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: The details give Mike’s amazing authorship away: the couch (averge babysitter canoodlin style) versus the opened couch bed (Hi-I’m-planning-to-”gerald” you-tonite-April), the bottle of wine (with twist-off top most likely for “class”) instead of two or three beers, and the smooth-guy who she decides to be with, who is able to get her into bed, but has no idea how to get back home when he KNOWS he has a parental deadline. No connection to April as we know her, that’s the point, it’s Mike.

  183. Weasel Boy
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    The only thing missing from April’s off-roadside was Elly asking “is that hair gel?”

  184. rich
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    153: Way to go, Mallard Fillmore — what could possibly be more important for high schoolers than learning all about that creaky Sodom and Gomorrah myth!

    (There’s Mallard’s curriculum in a nutshell: Abstinence education for the straight kids — fire and brimstone for the gay ones.)

  185. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    #181, Sh-sh, stifle it Edith! It’s those dirty, godless public schools to blame.

  186. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    RMMD I’m no rhinologist, but you know, just because you have a talent for nasal shots doesn’t mean you have to use it with such frequency.

    (DT)GT I hope you all learned from this – Oh, yes. We all learned many things. The proper use of a barkey stick. That Paris has man hands. That R. J. has a head like a pack of cigarettes. An enriching experience. Why, just today we discovered that there is such a creature as a “Tori Terry,” that the team physician is apparently Dr. McCoy [“I’m a physician, Gil, not a plastic surgeon!”] and that there are twins on the team (again, apparently). I can’t wait for the next story arc!

  187. Paperback Rifler
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    56. I loves me some Boston, Remus! Great song!

    14. I think that “Jack Elrod’s Automatic Speech Balloon Positioning Device” is going to get me in trouble at work; seriously, I could position those speech balloons for hours. The coolest thing about it is that no matter how the sequence of the speech balloons turns out, the strip generally seems to make the same amount of sense.

    It’s too bad that today’s Mark Trail is significantly less heewhacked out than previous installments this week; in my search for trippy wackiness, all I found is that in both panels, Mark’s left collar seems to be a little chatty. Oh well. I do find it touching, though, that as a tribute to Diver Dan, those geese(?) are attempting a flyby in the “Missing Man” formation.

    Pluggers: Now, I’m no herbologist, but it seems to me that if your joints be creakin’, maybe you shouldn’t be rollin’ them so tight, yo!

    Dennis the Menace: What’s this? Is Dennis actually attempting to appear menacing by channelling gangster movie character actor Edward G. Robinson? ( “Listen here, Toots: If you try to pass off that broccoli-and-carrot slop on me just one more time, it’ll be curtains for you, see? Curtains! Yeah!” ) Well, probably not.

  188. ISBN
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    You know you’re a plugger if you’re a FURRY ANIMAL WHO WEARS GOLF FASHIONS!!

  189. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Dennis still needs to work on his menacing.
    At least he made Mom (Alice?) give him a Look.
    You’d better study the football-headed creatures in Family Crapass, though, Dennis – they have been so much naughtier than you as of late, except for the jar episode yesterday.
    Study Dolly today – she can even turn her body and head so they are facing different directions! Must be a Linda Blair thing.

  190. Kurdt
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    I’m twenty and I can clearly remember soda going for 50 cents but never 25. I can also remember that our local laundromat still sold it in bottles.
    My Dad told me a story once about a friend that took a bottle opener to one of those old machines where the bottles still stuck out and drank all the soda out of it. I wonder if thats why we don’t see those anymore….

    I think poor Ziggy is just lonely and needs to find a hideously deformed no-pants wearing woman to do the no-pants dance with. But then it’d probably still be the same depressing one liners. To quote The Simpsons: “Ah Ziggy, will you ever win?”

  191. queek
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    SF: “parcheesi” I’d accuse Francesco of cribbing from Munion lines, but the time frame doesn’t work.

    PBS: “deleted at insistence of my syndicate” just rocks.

    F- was good for its bi-weakly chuckle today. “Land Orca!” (who out there has seen the YouTube vid of the japanese gal visiting the polar bear exibit wearing a seal outfit? That came to mind immediately.)

    155: “Geddy Lee’s “Barchetta Red” ” totally made my day. A great reference, and one of my favorite Rush songs.

  192. Lyman Returns
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    TDIET-Um, maybe summer school works because you aren’t um, TAKING ANY OTHER CLASSES and can TOTALLY FOCUS ON ONE SUBJECT. Just saying, is all.

    GT-Who’s that guy in the second panel? He’s somehow singled out from the throngs of faceless Hogans Alley-like cardboard cut-out spectators and has actual features and stuff. He’s also surrounded by a nimbus of light and appears to be floating above it all, like a Renaissance-era depiction of the risen Christ, if any of those paintings made Christ look like an overdressed (for a high school basketball game) space alien with Paul Reiser hair clutching a jar of Tang.

    MW-Check out Mary in that third panel. She apparently has neck-extending powers, like ‘Mekanek’ from the old ‘He-Man’ cartoons. That Mary, always pulling new skills out of nowhere to awe us readers.

    A3G-Anyone else catching a ‘Titanic’ vibe here? Drowning in the ocean, sappy heart references. Cue the Celine Dion music! Or don’t.

    FBOFW-Like the directors of the Vietnam War, Gerald apparently had no ‘exit strategy’. I guess when you’re a horny teenage boy you don’t think about such things. Gotta love April in the third panel, urging her fleeing beau onward with her telepathic powers. I like how the wine bottle suddenly reappears, almost like Lynn Johnson reads this site and said, “Oh, yeah, the wine bottle! Guess I’d better explain what happened to it!” Happy to help, Lynn. Now send some royalties our way, damn it.

    Beetle-Man, that Sarge is a sadistic bastard.

    Blondie-Flatscreen computer monitors, laptop computers, and a man in bow tie. Which one of these things doesn’t fit?

    Crankshaft-Um, wouldn’t it actually be the parents signing a petition, not the kids? What kids would care about being late for school every day? And are we witnessing the beginning of the end of Crankshaft’s bus driving career? Intriguing! Suspenseful! Or not.

    Dennis the Menace-Stop bitching about the broccoli and carrots, Dennis. You get to drink chocolate milk!

    Phantom-I want a dog that retrieves AK-47s!

    Pluggers-Wow, more and more people get shoved under the ‘Plugger umbrella’ every day, huh? Now anybody with noisy joints is a Plugger. What’s next, anybody who hiccups will be one, too? Where does it end?

    The Ziggy that Josh referenced-As I said way back when the very-similar version of that comic strip was published, it’s a lot more entertaining when you view it as a short bald toeless pantsless man’s descent into howling, drooling madness as he stands around his house, alone, screaming at holes in the walls. The mice, along with Zig’s menagerie of pets, have long since fled, worried that Ziggy might end up wearing their heads as hats.

    JP-It looks to me like he’s following you down the street, not following you across the street, but hey, why argue with a woman who owns four mansions?

  193. Aminal
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    The machines at school went up to $1.25 over the summer. Truth be told, they sell 20 oz, not cans, which you can get out of the machines at Wal-Mart for $.25.
    Count me in with those who think Lil Plugger is scamming Gramps.

  194. Plugmein
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Again, water from the tap is just as good as a can of crappy sugar water.

    Call me a Plugger if you will, but it is the truth.

  195. Original Lee
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    A3G is trolling for product placement bucks, I think. I would love to know what hair spray could keep LuAnn’s stylin’ do picture-perfect while her disembodied head floats in a stormy sea!

  196. Duane Schneider
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Luann need to really lay off the amphetamines before she goes to sleep…..

  197. Bitter Scribe
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    What I love about Pluggers is that Gramps apparently is incapable of looking at the machine to see how much the soda costs.

  198. MossMoses
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Why can’t Mary Worth just leave people alone? Vera has stated her desire for privacy, yet that meddling busybiddy persists in forcing her to submit to her prying. Mary Worth – the Gestapo of meddling. She will not be denied. Someone really needs to tell that nosy hag straight up, “Fuck off, you nosy bitch. Mind your own business and leave me alone”. I really wish Vera (curses upon her) would do that, instead of being so polite on the phone.

  199. Mibbitmaker
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    #178 (AFKABen): And I beat both of you to it! (See #100 – it’s in there somewhere…)

  200. Bunnë
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Attention fellow curmudgeons!

    Cat and Girl, one of the funniest and smartest webcomics I’ve found out there, gives a shout out to Marmaduke and Mary Worth today.

    Go read:

  201. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    S4th: Ces, are you reading us these days? How come Sally and Ted “play parcheesi” instead of “cleaning out the garage?” Is this some sort of very perverted sort of foreplay that leads to perma-smirking and feminized hands?

    #177 gh: I don’t exactly LET Google comment, he just decides to do it. Usually I erase his comments, but some, like today’s, do seem rather pertinent. Thanks for the joke, but the setup is too long. Though it’s very EWWW! Our 12-year-old Charader would love it. Unfortunately, we have had to cancel this month’s Charades, because both Mr. O’F and I have come down with very bad colds.

  202. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    #201 O’F -

    Get well soon to you and Mr O’F!

  203. stinky pete
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    198 MM, Isn’t that like asking, why can’t Marmaduke just stop being a big dog?

  204. queek
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    just took a look at the current Pibgorn.

    wow, what a pair of panels. (“o-noes!”)

    so much for my theory that Pibgorn was the real reason that Diver Dan escaped Lake LoFo .

  205. Trent
    March 30th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]


    The brick-to-the-head in Spidey did have a purpose. It stunned him, and thus sped up the speed of the strip. I know what you’re thinking? “Sped up? The narritive slowed to a crawl!” and this is true. It all has to do with the theory of relativity. The faster something goes, the more time slows down for it. I would wager that the newspaper Spider-Man strip is travelling at about 85% (83.2% before the brick-hit) the speed of light. Mary Worth is at 84.53%, Rex Morgan is at 93.2% and Prince Valliant is currently slingshotting around the sun in a desperate gambit to get some humpback whales to save the earth from transmissions from the whale mothership.


  206. Mibbitmaker
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    #198: That’s okay, she doesn’t have to confront Mary “Ken Starr” Worth directly. Her thought balloons will do it for her. That‘ll teach ‘er!

    MT: Finally ol’ molasses-minded Mark is on the (heh, heh) Trail (*ducks*) of his old “f(r)iend”. He’ll confront the latest moustachioed fiend you-know-how soon. That’s what Dan’ll get for being the LoFo definition of a World War II 5th columnist (or the 2007 equivalent, Rosie O’Donnell).

    MF (this week): Yeah, Ducky, kids’ll remain ignorant of holy religious stuff in those heathen public schools. Likewise, they’ll be utter know-nothings if they patently refuse to teach Science, Social Studies, Math and the Arts in Sunday School. Honestly!!

  207. Musicfan
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    A quarter is a quarter of what the soda costs. Besides being a phrasing nightmare, where the hell are they that a vending machine soda only costs a dollar? Oh that’s right – Pluggerville, which is apparently stuck in.. umm.. 1999?

  208. Marion Delgado
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I think LuAnn in A3G is actually shouting “SAVE ME ALLAH! SAVE ME ALLAH!” … you know she doesn’t know how to spell.

  209. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes you’re at the bar and feeling all morose and nostalgic and your quoting T. S. Eliot to yourself

    I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
    I shall read the comments of the thread I’ve scrolled.

    Shall I start from far behind? Do I dare to read Poteet’s?

    and a song comes on the jukebox, but it’s not the right song, not that one. Something a bit more . . . melodic. So you get up and — this being a Pluggers jukebox — you put in your quarter. Let’s try A-5. Stevie Wonder.

    What happened to the thread we knew
    When we would snark and spew
    At Cherry’s talking head
    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread

    Where did it go, that potato
    The one that seemed
    To be so cultured and well-read
    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread

    I had a laugh, so did you
    Gerald outside, his balls were blue
    Two kids who acted just like rubes
    Yester-foobs and now
    Now it seems those yester-themes
    Were just a way
    To keep from reading Gil instead
    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread

    When I recall what we had
    I feel lost I feel sad with nothing
    But the memory tug of Shakespug
    And now it seems those yester-themes
    Were just a way
    To keep from reading Gil instead

    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread
    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread
    Sing with me
    Yester-me yester-you yesterthread
    One more time…

    [O'F and Mr., get some rest this weekend! PS: I thought the 12 year old would like it. I'm 12 (on Fridays) and I know I do!]

  210. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    #199, I stand corrected. But wow, three of us. The pressure mounts for a Frannie cameo. Are you listening, Wilson and Nolan?

  211. Margo!Boxcar!Saturn!
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]


    We’re just ONE cup shy of an order. C’mon, you Mudges! Don’t you realize the status imparted by ownership of this fine piece of industrial-grade porcelain? You can produce it at the Charterstone party and dump its contents on Mary Worth! Crack one of Gil Thorp’s charges in the back of the head with it 5 or 6 times! Swill Boone’s farm in it as you try to get April lubricated! And yes, I just typed that!

    Only two more shopping days until April 1! Because, just like Gerald, when we get into April, it’s all over…


  212. MonkeyHawk
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    I’m feeling particularly old today, so I’ll out-do the O’Fogeys and other people who think they’re old:

    I remember when the Coke machine went from a nickel to seven-cents a bottle. If you put in a nickel and two pennies, you got a coke. If you put in a dime, you didn’t get any change. It was the original six-and-a-half ounce bottle (so the Pepsi people were lying when they said “Twice as much for a nickel, too!” But I digress…)

    And here’s the Boomerism that no one — I mean NO one! else seems to remember:

    But I do.

    I remember when Wonder Bread built your body only 8 ways!

    Wonder Bread and Hostess Creme-Filled Cupcakes sponsored the Annie Oakley show (her brother was Tag). And Gail….(sorry, can’t remember her last name just now)… did the commercials and one week the big deal was Wonder Bread now builds your body 12 ways! Instead of 8.

    And it was the law that you drink a Dr Pepper at 10, 2, and 4. (In Texas, anyway.) And it’s carbonated prune juice.

    And when my Dad found out my big sister’s boyfriend had a Nash (with the fully-reclining front seat), he demanded they go to the prom in his push-button transmission DeSoto. (A lot of good it did since the DeSoto’s back seat was big as a queen-sized mattress.)

    I remember when you didn’t order a “pizza,” but a “pizza PIE!” And it was an exotic outing to get one, down close to the college campus.

    Damnit, you kids! Get off my lawn!!!

  213. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    #202 Uncle Lumpy (and also gh): thanks for the good wishes! It’s amazing that something as simple and common as a cold can make one feel so sick. Which raises the question: do any comics characters ever get sick (I mean, aside from the terminal illnesses in FW)? Has anyone ever seen Blondie with a cold or Mark Trail with the flu? I seem to recall Rob being sick with something like that on occasion in GF, but it may just have been existential angst caused by living with Bucky.

    #209 gh: so brilliant! TS Elliott AND Stevie Wonder. I’ve been working on something for about a week, but even if I finish it I’ll hesitate to post it among such true genius as I commonly see here. And PS–I’ll tell your joke to the 12-year-old next time I see him, I just can’t use such a long setup in Charades.

  214. Trotzenbonnie
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    I swear on my most prized bottle of Jewel of Russia Vodka that the comic strip artists are reading our comments. Here is my comment from a few threads ago:
    And today’s Sally Forth (thanks for the tip O’F-#201!):
    Dismissed as chance? I think not. You don’t just pull “Parcheesi” as a euphemism for sex out of your ass–not even if you’re Cherry Trail, thank you very much.

  215. Maughta
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    (DT)GT: Boy, would I hate to be a second stringer on that team! To be put in to play as punishment of the first stringers (I hope you’ve learned your lesson!). That’s harsh.

  216. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    For all feeling old-ish today, feel free to go to the following site and bask in the glow of older television adverts:

    I know I posted this link before, but it’s been a while. Nostalgia supreme.

  217. Trotzenbonnie
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, O’Fogeyette. I started on my tirade before I finished reading your post. Colds are nothing to sneeze at. They can take you out of circulation for days. Get lots of rest and plenty of chicken schmatz. We need you up to snarking speed!

  218. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    # 14 Dean Booth

    This is still soooooo much fun. I keep wanting to post: Hey, guys! Guess what this one said [and from where]? But if we did that, we’d never have time for anything else. I’ve saved it for the slow times; it’s more fun than the WaPo Sudoku.

  219. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    #212 Monkeyhawk: I do remember the Wonder Bread body-building ads. And the Dr. Pepper regularity, with a clock printed on the side of the bottle. Whenever we visited my grandparents in Texas, we drank lots of fizzy prune juice. For years it was my favorite, and now that it’s available everywhere, it still is. Yeah, yeah, and pizza pie. Are you old enough to remember candy cigarettes? And Peter Pain and Mr. Coffee Nerves? (They were two print ads that always scared me to death.) I’m betting money you don’t remember when your mom and your grandmom brought home WHITE margarine from the grocery, and broke the capsule of yellow food coloring, then massaged it in to make it look more like butter. Yeah, kids, off the lawn! Go do something useful!

  220. Ribinin
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    I ran across an interesting job that one of us should be perfect for. Not enough money really, but if you are a fan…..
    Compensation: $1500, credit


    Low budget documentary currently being produced on comic legend Stan Lee needs a great web designer now! Stan is known as the creator of Marvel Comics and such comic characters as SPIDERMAN, HULK, X-MEN, SILVER SURFER, FANTASTIC FOUR and over 130 other characters which dot the pop culture landscape.

  221. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    #213 O’Fogeyette

    Thanks and hee hee! Just don’t get caught!

    #214 Trotzenbonnie

    *snuffle* You didn’t see my sign post at #171? And I combed my hair and everything before I said it.

  222. Josh
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Trotz (214) — While Ces, the writer for Sally Forth, is a reader and occasional commentor on this site, I’m afraid it is a conincidence: Comics are submitted to the syndicate several weeks before they run in the papers.


  223. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    #212 MonkeyHawk- I remember when a pack of Pall Malls cost 50¢ and they didn’t cause cancer. And playing with lawn darts was still a legal activity for the youths of that era. IMHO, the President’s Council on Physical Fitness should stress the importance of lawn darts and slip n’ slidesâ„¢ as remedies for the youth obesity crisis in this country today.

    PS: I just put in my order for a Margo! Boxcar! Saturn! cup.

  224. Quacks Like A Duck
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Baldo: Gregario looks an awful lot like Captain Kangaroo, doesn’t he?

    No, wait, he doesn’t. But he is acting an awful lot like him. Aldo, I mean.

    Hope Gregario doesn’t end up like Aldo did.

    Hope even more that Tia Carmen and Gregario end up like Thelma and Louise did.

  225. Gabe
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    I’m not even that old, and I remember candy cigarettes. They were still making them in the early/mid eighties.

  226. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    One interesting thing about this comments section, as mentioned on one thread in the not-too-distant past, is just knowing people by screen names like “MonkeyHawk” and “Poteet” and “Willethompson” and “HBGLord” and “SmartPeopleOnIce” and “Mibbitmaker” and so on and so forth, and becoming acquainted with their on-screen personalities and senses of humour, but not knowing anything about their real lives unless they happen to reveal it.

    Regarding MonkeyHawk’s post at #212, I am surprised. For whatever reason, in my imagination MonkeyHawk was younger than me, maybe born in the late 70s or early 80s. I have no idea why I thought that. Maybe I thought I was detecting youthful irreverence or something.

    Although, by default, I think I tend to assume everyone here is between the ages of 21 and 35, because who else would waste so much time on a blog about comic strips? :)

  227. cheech wizard
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Phantom – “Criminals trust in firepower.” That’s funny, so do the police and most modern militaries. And it seems to me that when a small detachment of the British Army faced down 10,000 Mau-Mau, it wasn’t a good day for Bandar medicine.

  228. Lynngineering
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    #220 – What? THE Stan Lee, with Spiderman franchise money, fame, etc.. is letting it be know his bio is a “low-budget” documentary? One that can only muster 1500 to do the necessary, all-important website, THE interface for its assumed public? That’s just seems very odd. Normally, Stan Lee would be the one to make sure there was a real marketing and promotion going on for a film on his life, as he has never been one to underplay his ego. Odd.

  229. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    #212 Monkeyhawk, #219 O’Fogeyette

    10-2-4 (with St. Bernard mascot): check

    candy cigarettes (you had to break them apart): check

    Mr. Coffee Nerves and white margarine: well, as they say at the snooty soirees, I’ve heard of them

    Carter’s Little Liver Pills? (forced by the FDA to drop the “Liver” as Wonder Bread was forced to drop the 12, previously 8, ways). That damn Ralph Nader. Hey, kids! Get over here and mow my lawn! I’ll give you a Grape Nehi each!

  230. Foobaphobe
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to think that my defense of Mark Trail yesterday and the subsequent positive postings from other commentators has inaugurated a kinder, gentler CC, bearing fruit in the lovely accolades directed at Baldo by our leader today. Bravo!
    Wait, no, I don’t really want that at all. Sorry.

  231. Mary Worth's VSD
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    April is the cruelest foob…

  232. Foobar
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    That was me, dang it.

  233. andreavis
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I remember candy cigarettes, and I haven’t hit 40 yet. Sometimes they had a fakey red tip, so you could play like they were lit to increase the cool factor (or was it the Kool factor?)

    My own standard of whippersnappertude is Star Wars: if you weren’t alive when it came out, you’re a damn kid and get off my lawn already.

  234. willethompson
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]


    Red, you magnificent bastard! You put us at the magic number!

    In other news (and I wasn’t supposed to let you guys know, so keep it quiet, OK?), Josh got to hang with some interesting entities at that award-thingie he went to. I’d say he met some interesting ‘people’ but that wouldn’t be anatomically correct… just scroll down, past the potato and the chatterboxes…

  235. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    #226 Skullturf Q. Beavispants

    I think I tend to assume everyone here is between the ages of 21 and 35

    You innocent child. I’d peg it more at 40-60. The willingness to make a complete ass of oneself in public, and to do it with panache and sang froid requires decades of exposure to bad French in Judge Parker.

  236. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    #229 gh: Oooh, grape Nehi! And, as I recall, uncarbonated. Hey, gh, when I’m feeling better, I’ll mow your lawn!

    #233 andreavis: Star Wars, yeah! But who else was alive for “Forbidden Planet,” not to mention TOS? Or the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” which scared me even more than Mr. Coffee Nerves.

  237. Spoony Bard
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Greetings all, spoonman here sans placeholder name. I haven’t been able to read/comment much do to fairly big life events, so I have no idea if this has been commented on or not; but here goes:

    A3G is weirding me the hell out.

    Does this not look like Mary Worth’s, “Dr. Jeff is dying in a Godless, non-white, third-world nation,” dream? I half expect Mary to kick down (not open, down) the door and carry out Luann’s unconscious body to the tune of Dolly Parton’s (by way of Whitney Houston) “I Will Always Love You.” Then we will be treated to a scene of mouth-to-mouth resucitation that devolves into a “hot” biddy-on-dumbass make out session so fierce it proves the catalyst for our sun imploding and the, as it will seem at the time, blessed death of the human race.

    Again, sorry if someone already pointed all this out.

  238. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    #219-O’Fogeyette-I still don’t get the DP 10, 2 and 4 o’clock thing. I mean, ever since I was a li’l pink child, I thought maybe you had to drink Dr. Pepper at those assigned times of the day. I remember asking my ‘rents about it, and they both did the Shields and Yarnell “throw up your hands” mime thing. I used to enjoy a nice Dr. Pepper, but not anymore. (can’t handle high fructose corn syrup). Candy cigs: Does anyone remember those toy cigs that were basically paper tubes filled with white powder that one would blow through to release a puff of white smoke? Those were sold at a local “Jokes and Novelties” shop in Huntington Park, Calif. My friends and I would even rock those things in Elementary Scholl without repercussions. Good times indeed!

  239. PeteMoss
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    For me, Dean Booth‘s creation at 14 just doesn’t stop being funny.

    Oh, and I was reading La Cucaracha today and I think the cartoonist is a little confused regarding the recent US Attorney General scandal. Judges were not fired. US Attorneys were fired. I’m betting Award Winning Blogger Josh will call him on this on Wonkette.

    I would plan my whole vacation around going to Vegas to see the Gigantor King O’ Pop blasting the desert with his lasers. I wish Celine Dion, Barry Manilow and Zigfred & Roy would follow suit. It would be like bad 3-D Anime.

    I grew up in Dallas and was always disappointed when I went to other states and they didn’t have Dr Pepper (no period after the Dr) in their restaurants. And they wouldn’t just add seltzer to prune juice for me, either.

    Today, Fred Basset proves he can speak French as well as any Parisian punks on the Metro. I think.

  240. Cranky
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    #14 Dean Booth:

    That is the single greatest invention in the history of the web. What a nice piece of work!

  241. willethompson
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    #226 Skullturf – Oopsie, I fall outside of your time-wastin’ slacker barista clove-ciggy-smokin’ GenY demographic. I remember when WonderBread made stronger bodies only FIVE ways, when they used Laudanum in CocaCola to balance the coke rush, when cancer just happened and gas stations gave you free crap just to sell you a few gallons of nickel per gallon High Test. Now you damn kids get off my lawn of I’ll sic the dog on ya! And by ‘dog’ I mean ‘shoot.’

  242. Ribinin
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    And who hasn’t enjoyed a nice cup of hot Dr Pepper? Mmmmm….

  243. Mr. Coffee Nerves
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Hey! I don’t think I’m that scary!

  244. Poteet
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    # 111 — Jack Parsons, thank you for adding to my ongoing CC education. I thought that “invert” was short for “invertebrate.” Now, thanks to you and those Internet tubes, I discover it’s also an old outdated term for gays and lesbians. Just to clarify, when I was in Nebraska, I was looking at invertebrates. I probably also saw some gays and lesbians, but it was the invertebrates I was trying to identify.

  245. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    This conversation has inspired me to go buy a Dr. Pepper this afternoon.

    Incidentally, you can’t seem to find Mr. Pibb in Vancouver or Toronto, but when I was in Seattle they had it there. Does Mr. Pibb exist throughout the US, or only in certain regions?

  246. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Rex Pepper, MD: Office hours, 10, 2 and 4.

  247. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    #222 Josh – coincidence, but it’s weeeeiirrrddd still, innit?
    #225 – where I live, candy cigs are still ragin’. Even a little hamburger restaurant I haven’t been to in a while has Popeye Candy Cigarettes on the bar as tooth-destroying after-lunch treats.
    #226 – J’ai quarante quatre ans. However, in spite of my getting a teensy bit older, I still love the comix. Always will! I’m just a snarker at heart, like my Dad was.

  248. SixFootJen
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    98 mibbitmaker: the creature in those commercials is a BEAVER! A beaver, by God!

  249. LibertyPrevails
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    I’m not a frequent commenter, but I’m just so upset with FBOFW I had to chime in with everyone else.

    See, April has just had an exciting night. Perhaps the most exciting night that any Patterson has had in the past year. No one got hurt. She didn’t do anything wrong.

    But within days, Lynn Johnson is going to punish her for it – for having FUN – and April is going to be shamed back into solemn, stoic obedience to Elly’s horrifyingly vanilla lifestyle.

    What a truly heinous and cruel message to send the youth of Canada: Don’t be spontaneous, kids! Walk the line!

    Didn’t Mike get into some trouble during his teen years? For comic relief, even? Was there always a brow-beating morality play at the end of the week? Christ, Lynn! What the hell? What the hell?!?!?!

  250. rich
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Pretty sure they still make candy cigarettes — I bought some at Newbury Comics in Boston about a year ago.

  251. Light Syrup
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    I have a completely non-entry related question except that it is… sort of… are the RSS feeds working and is it just me or are they not working and it’s not just me?

  252. cheech wizard
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Who remembers the original Mountain Dew bottles, with the hillbilly sleeping next to an outhouse with a jug under his arm, or pointing his beat-up rifle at an interloper? That was back when cigaretters were a quarter a pack, at least in the tobacco country of southern Indiana where I grew up.

    And speaking of cigarettes, if you’ve never seen the Flintstones’ Winston ad, you need to check this out:

    I remember seeing this as a kid back in the early 60s, when the Flintstones were on in prime time. Over the years, I’d tell people a bit younger than me about it and they always thought I was full of shit. Now, thanks to the Internet, I know that I wasn’t imagining things.

  253. PeteMoss
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    242 – Ribinin, I have! Tossed in some orange slices, too. Mmm, Mmm!

    241 – I remember collecting those “tumblers” at the gas station, too. Before I was old enough to drive, I got plastic dinosaurs (Plastic Dinosaurs!) with a fill-up at the Sinclair station, too. I guess that was to remind us of where petroleum products originated. Educational!

    And they’d also stuff towels in my box of detergent, damnit. And Dolly Parton and Porter Wagner would sell ‘em on TV singing “boxes of Breeeeez!”

    And, and, and, BC was funny back then.

    Ok, I’ll take my meds now to slow down my breathin’

  254. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    #238 Red Greenback: I’m pretty sure that the 10 2, and 4 o’clock thing was that if you drank it at those times, you would always be regular. And by regular, I mean you would crap on a predictable basis. At least that is how my grandfather explained it to me. I drink only diet sodas now that I’m an aging pre-diabetic. Diet Dr. Pepper tastes less bad than all the other ones I’ve tried.

    #241 willethompson: the gas stations (which were called “service stations”) not only gave you stuff, they pumped the gas for you and washed all your windows. For free. It’s certainly possible, though I was too young to know, that particularly accomodating gas attendants would even clean your garage.

    And green stamps. Does anyone remember green stamps? Service stations and grocery stores (not supermarkets or big boxes) gave them out. When you had enough green stamps, you pasted them in a book that you exchanged for real live merchandise.

    Now, out of my yard, all you young clucks!

  255. Poteet
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    # 209 — gh, I’m flattered to show up in the same post as your latest masterpiece. And I need to clear something up — that wasn’t a shiv I was carrying awhile back. I wasn’t even sure what a “shiv” was until I looked it up. What you saw was a sharp digging implement that I was using to scrape out more room under my boulder in case the Emperor lost his temper again.

    And rest assured that as far as I’m concerned, you are now the sole supreme proprietor of (DT)GT origin theories. I don’t wanna be responsible for any more Kingfeature/Chennux disasters.

  256. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #251 Light Syrup -

    Not just you. Josh’s posts come through on RSS, but comments are messed up – 10 or so come through when Josh posts, but only that many, and only then. Josh is aware, but it’s just you, Charlotte and me using RSS for comments. And his awards-dinner schedule is sooooo busy!

    Everybody -

    Behold the Old-Time Candy Company!

  257. Gabe
    March 30th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    But Willie, did you read his book?

  258. PeteMoss
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    252 cheech wizard

    Wow, I stumbled across that youtube clip just a couple of weeks ago. I was looking for a clip of a prime time Flinstones movie called “What’s Wrong With Wilma?” I’m told Wilma was ‘addicted’ to the reefer. I had always pegged Barney as the stoner. Still haven’t found a clip of this very special Hanna Barbara program.

  259. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    La Choy makes Chinese Food…
    Swing American!

    Thanks for the info Mary!

  260. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    RE: candy cigs. There was a chewing gum product when I was a kid called called something like “Gold Nuggets” that came in a cloth bag. Anyhoo, my Grandma found my stash and mistook them for “tobacky chaw” and tore me a new one! My Mom came to my defense and now I am well adjusted adult contributing member of society. Thanks Mom!

  261. True Fable
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    #238 Red, you mean Pixie Sticks?

    And I remember Dino the Dinosaur at the Sinclair gas station. He was a little inflatable dinosaur that lasted just long enough for the car to pull out into the street and then it would deflate and the rest of the ride anywhere, would be a long miserable whine.
    They also gave you little plastic horseshoes that you put on the bumper when you fill up with “No-Knox” gasoline, and I think it was Exxon but I can’t recall, their marketing was not 100% effective.

    Dr. Pepper’s 10, 2, and 4 were the times of the day you drank it as a “pick-me-up” – between breakfast and lunch, between lunch and dinner, and just before you came in for dinner so you could stop bouncing off the walls in time to get some sleep before the morning, when the whole vicious cycle started over.

  262. Trotzenbonnie
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    gh – Wipe those tears away! And thanks for slickin the cowlick. I didn’t see your post because–believe it or not, I start reading from the bottom up. But, who knew anyone would remember anything about what I used to do with my toes?

  263. Poteet
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    # 202 — Uncle Lumpy, belated thanks for previously implying that I could take on the USDA. I’m very flattered. However, I have attempted to influence the USDA in the past regarding the Farm Bill, and like tens of thousands before me, discovered that it’s really really (repeat fifty thousand times) challenging.

    And now it turns out you are sartorially knowledgable on top of your other talents. I deeply bow.

  264. True Fable
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    #252 Cheech wizard!

    They call it that old Mountain Dew
    With a [margo, can't quite recall this part] fresh flavor for you
    I’m gonna hush up my mug if you fill up my jug
    With that good old Mountain Dew

    Everybody in Tulsa drank that stuff because it made people in Arkansas self-concious, or so the kids said.

  265. AirForbes
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    O’Fogeyette: Did they have King Corn stamps where you were back then? They were sort of the Pluggers’ version of Green stamps. I still have the guitar my brother and sister bought with King Corn stamps when they were young’uns.

  266. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    I’m so old, I remember when Dr Pepper was still in Med School.

  267. Poteet
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    # 254 — O’Fogeyette, hope you’ll be well soon. And I pasted many a Green Stamp back in the day. My mom used to pay me just a little to do it, but it was also fun.

  268. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    #260 – but RG, more importantly, you are a well adjusted adult contributing member of Comics Curmudgeon!
    Damn, you sparked my memory of those little bags of Gold Nugget gum. Wow.
    Whatever happened to Heath Bars? I know we still have Skor (I think), but they are not as good.

    And, on a fully comics topic, I think the second panel of Josh’s “Baldo” post is charming. Interesting artwork. I like it when the Artists show some realistic chops now and then.

  269. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    Nostalgia- Rember “Chevron Island”?

  270. Don Iguan
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    #14–260+ comments, and not one instance of this being said?


  271. cheech wizard
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    264 – Everybody in Tulsa drank that stuff because it made people in Arkansas self-concious, or so the kids said.

    Same thing in southern Indiana, only there I’m afraid it’s because people would rather identify with Rebs than Yanks.

    A lot of my old friends down there still like to use Mtn. Dew as a chaser for J.W. Dant 100 proof bourbon – nasty!

  272. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Ipana – the toothpaste/beaver crossover!

  273. MossMoses
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Dristan is like taking your sinuses to Arizona.

  274. willethompson
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    The Dr Pepper 10-2-4 story:

    I’m no geologist, but the story goes that during WWII, sugar rationing was imposed, which meant big trouble for the soft drink bottlers. Dr Pepper (among others) spun their request for sugar allotments as essential for war workers (remember, sugar gave you ‘quick energy!’). Hence the 10 am, 2 pm and 4 pm, which were 1st shift break times at shipyards, factories, etc.

  275. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    #261-TF-Oh, no, those were actual 1/1 scale fake cigs replete with tar-colored filter indicators-Unlike Pixie Stix, the contents could not be inhaled.

  276. Proteus
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Best gasoline promotion ever: Esso’s tiger in your tank. They gave out stuffed animal tiger tails with an elastic band that you could put around your gas cap so it looked like the tail was coming of your gas tank. It complimented my coonskin cap nicely, too.

    Ain’t these rockin’ chairs comfy?

  277. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    #270 – Is that a game-quote from the fellow who died last year in a small-plane crash, going to retrieve an ill child to transport? He was host of a game show years ago? I don’t remember his name or the show’s name.

    As Warren would say, “Whoa!” Nostalgic Friday.

  278. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Winkâ„¢,the sassy one! …Winkâ„¢ has that certain tintabulation!

  279. Calico
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    #256 – Wonderful site.
    See, I’ve matured from saying “awesome” to “wonderful.”

  280. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    #278 Red -

    And there was nothing like Wink™ to get the cotton off your tongue after, er, herbal recreation. Squirt® comes closest, but Wink™ brings the sassy!

  281. Captain Insano
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    On the Occasion of Reading Pluggers: A Warning

    Do not go gentle into that Pluggers strip.
    You might go mad and pull out your hair.
    Pluggers are trashy and need flea-dips.

    Though it may float just above your favorite strip,
    Avoid reading Pluggers. Don’t take that dare.
    Do not go gentle into that Pluggers strip.

    Pluggers are on welfare and never leave tips.
    They glory in NASCAR and the Skoal they share.
    Pluggers are trashy and need a flea-dip.

    The typical Plugger wants to skinny dip
    In the cement pond, but the filter jams with hair.
    I warn you: avoid at all coast the Plugger’s strip.

    Pluggers use keys as make-shift q-tips.
    They go to Wal Mart in halter tops (don’t stare):
    that Plugger’s trashy and needs a flea-dip.

    Pluggers take pride in what you’d rather forget:
    ear wax, STDs, incest, hopelessness, the county fair.
    So don’t go reading that damn Pluggers strip.
    You might get infected and need a flea dip.

  282. Dennis Jimenez
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Winc – Witches in Nature’s Colors….

  283. O’Fogeyette
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    #265 Air Forbes, no King Corn stamps where we were. That sounds rather midwestern, and we were in the Southwest.

    #267, thanks, Poteet!

    And thanks to all the other old farts who remember what I remember. A nice way to waste the day, what with my head all wrapped in cotton-batting from the cold. And now Mr. O’F and I are off for a nice lunch of lox and bagles outside with a great view of the valley.

    I fully expect y’all to be working on a new thread when I return.

  284. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Dagnabbit, I used to sell “GRIT”

  285. MossMoses
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    One aspect of learning foreign languages I really like is learning the same propaganda in different languages. For example, there were actually Latin American and Chinese Mrs. Olsen clones pimping the same disgusting butt coffee. “Folgers es cultivado en las montanas para darle ese rico sabor”. The American Mrs. Olsen was not Scandinavian at all but German.

  286. Harry Paratestes
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Red, you used to sell Grit? Wow, I remember when The Grit used to run posters of the Baltimore Orioles on a full sized page inside and things like that. Boog Powell was one of them, as was Jim Palmer, it was that long ago.

  287. AhClem
    March 30th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    H&L — I’m no civil engineer, but I think the fact that Lois is driving a 2-door SUV is a bit dangerous — but not as dangerous as the tailgater with no doors at all.

    Wait a minute — I am a civil engineer, but my premise still stands.

  288. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Pining for the south L.A. fiords:
    There was an ad on KTLA in the late 50′s for a local carpet and upholstery company called “Troy”, where basically, it was Troy’s son who was a cheap Ricky Nelson doppelganger(BTW,he had a totally bitchen Guild acoustic) warbling:
    “Troy Troy/ What a joy
    Get your upholstery done at Troy”….A treasured memory.

  289. Foobar
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    I remember when you could buy a bladder of mead for a ha’penny.

    Wow, you’re real old timers! Not like us young folks! The future belongs, the future belongs, the future belongs to me!

    258- Can it really be true? Can such a thing really exist? It sounds impossible, especially that it’d be Wilma. If anyone finds it, please, share.

  290. Foobar
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    289- Of course, that’d be “Tomorrow belongs…”. I cover my tracks by helpfully pointing out that tomorrow is in the future.

  291. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    #287 AhClem — Speaking of today’s Hi and Lois, I thought today’s joke was particularly weak — and for Hi & Lois, that’s saying something.

    I suppose the “joke” is essentially this: “You can’t honk at me, because it’s your fault you’re so close to me!” But the trouble is, this tends to fall apart. We’re not given enough context to know for sure, but generally speaking, when you see two cars doing what’s illustrated here on a residential street, it often means the car in front is guilty of going too slow.

    I’ve already put more thought into this than it deserves, but my conclusion is that it all makes for a painfully unfunny comic strip. You might as well have a cartoon taking place in, say, a restaurant, where the diner accuses the server of screwing up the order, but there’s not really enough context to decide which party is really in the wrong, and then that day’s strip just ends. Boooo.

  292. Trotzenbonnie
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Holy crap! There’s some big traffic jam on Memory Lane today.
    Did anybody ever order anything from the back of a comic book? X-ray specs or sea monkeys?

    And, Mr. Skullturf–who else BUT old people would have so much time on their hands to spend yapping about Winnie Winkle & Our Boarding House? Hmmmm? Aren’t you yungins supposed to be out working so I can keep getting my Social Sucrity check?

    And, Josh (#222-remember that TV show? Starred the biggest red afro ever)–I know. I know. I have a pre-dated TDIET to prove it. I was just, um, trying to be funny, she said scraping the toe of her maypops nervously on the ground.

    AND ****what should we get April for her birthday?????****

  293. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    OK, I promise this is my last nostalgia thing. I downloaded some f’ng GREAT Dick Biondi shows and ads from back in the day, and his screaming “On Top Of A Pizza” riff. Damn, I wish I can find thet CDRoms!

  294. Trotzenbonnie
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    #286 – Harry Parablangs
    Jim Palmer! I feel faint. I had the ad of him in his underpants (not Sailor Moon) taped to the inside of my Art Bin all through my art school daze. Uh, mostly for reference in the life drawing classes.

  295. Steve Sturdevant
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]


    In certain cultures, kumquats are a slang term for female breasts, with the implication of on the small side. That doesn’t sound like the best pickup line to me.

  296. gh
    March 30th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Man! Step out for a couple hours and look what happens!

    #241 willethompson

    Ah, leaded gasoline! Those were the days, weren’t they? Brings a tear *cough* to the *cough* eye.

    #252 cheech wizard

    Have I got a story for you. I went to Jr. High in Marion, Virginia, and the Rexall Drugstore had a fountain drink no one else had: Mountain Dew. It was a local invention. The Pepsi bottler in town bought it up and the rest is history. So I was drinking it before it went into the hillbilly bottles. Ha!

    #253 PeteMoss

    Towels in the detergent box, yes. And we used to get the Porter Wagoner show in Marion. I believe he was the inspiration for Mary Worth’s hairdo.

    #254 O’Fogeyette

    S & H Green Stamps, if you please. I bought a blender with them not 23 years ago in Beaumont, TX.

    #255 Poteet

    I guess it was the glint off the blade that threw me. I loved your (DT)GT theory. I bow. I’m still not reading those letters though!

    #262 Trotzenbonnie

    Those toes? Who could forget them!

    #281 Captain Insano


    Laurels arrive by second day air.

  297. Brian Cooksey
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    “And the fresher pork is usually pushed to the back!” is my new catchphrase. Seriously, it’ll be the next “I can’t do my work!” You’ll see.

  298. cheech wizard
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    296/gh: Wow, I am impressed. I’d always figured MD was some sort of regional item, but I never knew where it originated from.

    But I still miss the old bottles – esp. the picture of the cork going through the hillbilly’s hat.

  299. PeteMoss
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    289 Foobar -

    Here’s what I got on What’s Wrong With Wilma

    Would do more research but I’m suppose to be, er, you know…working.

  300. PeteMoss
    March 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

  301. Nina
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    #212 Willie, I am happy to say I remember the wonder bread 8 ways as well. Roy Rogers with Trigger and Dale Evans on Saturday morning. But I do let the kids play on my lawn, it’s only grass and dirt! for cents you could get a candy bar and soda…. wow we are old!

    (btw you can get a soda from the machines at our BIG BOX STORE for a quarter alas water is a $1)

  302. AhClem
    March 30th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    #254 O’Fogeyette –
    Tying these thoughts together, the Standard station where my dad got gasoline (29 cents per gallon, full service with windows washed and oil checked) also gave out S&H greeen stamps. Some places were still giving them out into the early 1980s — in fact, I have a couple of old S&H books on my desk only a few feet away from me. (Man, I gotta clean up this place one of these days).

    Does anybody (if anybody is still hanging around this thread) remember Cappy Dick, a guy who wrote a kids game and puzzle column in newspapers? I once won a magic paddle with a “disappearing” star from him.

  303. Uncle Lumpy
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]


    The Slylock Fox of the Pepsi Generation.

  304. Red Greenback
    March 30th, 2007 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Damn, Dose were da days. I remember watching Sheriff John (50′s L.A. kiddie show host) one summer day and he was plugging a product called “Toonies” which were, I shit you not, hot dogs made with tuna. Well, I figured Sheriff John was always right, so my sister and I bugged my mom to pick up a pack of Toonies on her next day’s grocery shopping excursion. Mom cooked up a few for lunch while we were excitedly chanting “Toonies!, Toonies!, yay! we’re gonna have Toonies!”…They did not taste good at all! (Imagine squid leftovers that Castrata bussed from a dinner plate into some sort of animal membrane)…something like that.

  305. MrP
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    What impresses me about this Ziggy is that TWO people are credited for doing it… Tom Squigglysignature and “Tom 2″. It actually took two people to come up with that two-minute pen sketch and recycled joke. Sadly, even split in half, what the two of them got for said two minutes of work probably brings them up to a higher hourly wage than Donald Trump.

  306. Kurdt
    March 31st, 2007 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Ziggy doesn’t usually piss me off as much as Family Circus does but comment # 305 got me thinking. It’s not fair that someone should be getting rich off of Ziggy. Its not well drawn, no one reads it except old people and CCs and most of all: Its not funny EVER!!. At least Family Circus has a modicum of artistic talent in it and it can be mildly humorous at times. Ziggy is just lame and depressing.
    Maybe if enough people write in to the guys that draw it requesting that Ziggy hang himself to end the comic they will. And I will frame that comic and put it on my wall.

  307. Thats The Spirit
    March 31st, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    #14: that is genius.

  308. Woodrowfan
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    Is the fact that I think Telenova Tio Carmen is a babe a sign that I’m getting old, going blind, or getting desperate?

  309. Woodrowfan
    March 31st, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Actually, while you are correct that Mt Dew was (for you) a local product, it went regional before Pepsi bought it I think.

    and I remember Cappy Dick and 12 cent comic books as well as collecting soda bottles by the side of the road to get the deposit back to buy candy.

  310. Octal
    March 31st, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    WOAH. I had no idea Baldo did that–is it new? (My first thought was, “Hey, they ripped off the aunt’s name from Baldo!”)

  311. sweeems
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    I will be sure to visit the Chimes next birthday



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