The comics do not believe that children are the future
Sally Forth and Zits, 4/4/07
Man, I guess the liberal media really is determined to undermine the traditional American family. First, Disney insists on churning out movie after movie featuring single parents, and now Sally and Ted and Connie and Walt have dropped any pretense of wanting to spend time with their offspring. The Duncans have at least waited until their son was legal to work in some dead-end job before abandoning him to his fate; the Forths apparently don’t care whether Hilary forth ends up as a child prostitute or in some kind of Dickensian pickpocket ring, as long as they’re left alone to screw.
Gil Thorp, 4/4/07
Typically, Gil Thorp storylines come to a screeching halt as soon as each team is eliminated in the playdowns. (Can anyone remember the last time that any Mudlark team actually won a championship? That’s the sort of hard-hitting question Marty Moon would ask Coach Thorp if he weren’t so drunk.) After each season ends in shame and defeat, a new one begins, full of hope and new difficult-to-follow drama. That’s why I’m so pleased to see that the lady jocks of Milford are moving from basketball to softball and still buzzing over l’affaire autoclub, as the French punks in Judge Parker would say. I’m dying to know exactly what it is that Tyler is going to say to the softball team that’s going to get Brynna Antenna back into their good graces. I hope that he stands there in the outfield for a minute while they all stare at him, then clubs himself in the back of the head a few times and runs off.
On the self-clubbing tip (ew), why haven’t more of you entered the Self-Clubbing Tyler lookalike contest? I mean, how hard is it to look like this?
Well, actually, it’s really quite hard, but the lure of fortune and glory should overcome that. I’ve gotten a few entries so far — and to be frank they’re all quite strong — but nowhere near the numbers we saw for the Finger-Quotin’ Margo contest. So send in those pictures, damn it!
For Better Or For Worse, 4/4/07
I really have no desire whatsoever to wade into the twisted swamp of teenage gender politics here. Really. None. Whatsoever. But I did want to feature this strip because it contains my new hero. I speak, of course, of the dude at the far right in panel two, the one with the gap in his teeth and the eyes the size of dinner plates who’s saying “Hoooo!” I shall call him “Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy.” It’s clear that he needs to be brought front and center in this feature right away, and possibly given his own spinoff strip. What makes Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” Guy tick? What’s his home life like? What, other than risque gossip with his buds, makes him say “Hoooo!”? Will he be going to university? Now I can’t wait until next month’s letters are up on the Foob site on May 1; I’m really looking forward to his missive, which will be entitled “Hoooo!”
Archie, 4/4/07
Man, right up until that last panel, I was convince that the Archie-Joke-Generating-Laugh-Unit 3000 had discovered absurdist whimsy. Replace Archie and his dad with Griffy and Zippy and it would make a great deal of sense. Sadly, it all gets very bourgeois in the last panel.
Archie himself has never looked more like a baffled and angry lowland gorilla than he does in panel two.
Beetle Bailey, 4/4/07
Ignoring the ostensible joke of this strip (remarkably easy to do, since it doesn’t make a lick of sense), I have to say that there’s something unspeakably creepy about the way that all of the assembled soldiery at the ostensible celebration in the second panel is completely lacking in any indication of joy or excitement or any other normal human emotion. The affectless Beetle handing a balloon solemnly to General Halftrack is just the icing on the cake. If you told me that all of these people were about to unholster their sidearms, blast their commanding officer to bits as he stands on his makeshift podium, and then walk away in silence, I honestly wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
Ferd Berfel
April 5th, 2007 at 12:47 am
(Ditto-ing myself here from the previous thread)
Sigh… I just knew it would come to this…
Today, April 5th, on Mark Trail, Cherry’s VAGINA speaks.
No possible good can come of this, although it should be more intelligent than Mark.
kippetje2000
April 5th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Talking vaginas, tight ends of the bronco and cramps. It’s gonna be a great day.
Vakar
April 5th, 2007 at 12:53 am
Beetle Bailey: (mumbling) Happy birthday… Lundberg… Happy birthday to you…
Ron
April 5th, 2007 at 12:56 am
All the background people in that second FOOB panel are scarily badly done, but Hooo! especially.
But at least this strip, although stiffly forced as always, ends on something like a rational point. Thursday’s, where St. Liz chases April through the house screaming “DO YOU WANT SOME CRAMPS?”, is just stiff and forced. I mean, the only people who ask if you want some cramps in the real world are probably the ones who just told you they’re from Brooklyn, in New York.
Donald The Anarchist
April 5th, 2007 at 12:56 am
OHMIGOD!!!!! Shannon, we have a boyfriend for you, and his name is…..Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy!!!! And if things don’t work out between them, I’m sure he’d be great for Liz. A bit young and simple-minded, maybe, but so much less baggage than Granthony, and he’ll be SOOO appreciative!!!
Sensitive Poet
April 5th, 2007 at 12:57 am
Please leave Gerald for Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” guy.. Please leave Gerald for Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” guy!
Garv
April 5th, 2007 at 1:04 am
Hooo! Apwil sure miraculously changed overnight! My theory is that the generous Canadian government subsidized health care plan includes a complimentary plastic surgery of your choice on one’s 16th birthday.
Now for a little story. Back before Charles Manson became infamous for hacking several people to death, he befriended Dennis Wilson of The Beach Boys and used Wilson’s private studio to record a demo album of his songs. After the friendship had gone south and Wilson had managed to get Charlie out of his home and life (a feat which must have been akin to someone putting a stop to Mary Worth’s meddling), A friend of Wilson asked if he had finished the mixing work on the Manson album. His reply was something to the effect of “I destroyed the tapes, because the vibes on that album were not of this world”.
That’s pretty much how I feel after listening to Apwil’s birthday song.
kippetje2000
April 5th, 2007 at 1:07 am
Maybe the pronuciation isn’t hoooo as in “Who” but rather Hoooo as in Ho’. I guess he’s calling April’s chastity into question. And he’s probably that “Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy who called Shannon tardy.
kippetje2000
April 5th, 2007 at 1:09 am
Ferd, how’d you do that? ;)
Cicer
April 5th, 2007 at 1:10 am
I have been staring at Beetle Bailey for a solid ten minutes, trying to understand the “punchline”. It’s not happening. Granted, expecting Beetle Bailey to ever make sense or be something that could even remotely be considered funny may be naive, but really. This is totally incomprehensible. I feel like we’re missing some panels here. You’d think I’d be used to that after following (DT)GT, but apparently I’m not.
Max
April 5th, 2007 at 1:18 am
I’m not sure if Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo” Guy (GTS”H”G) is…Is he even human? Canadian? in any case, it doesn’t matter; I know this for certain: he is truly the epitome of foob, the “essense,” if you will. I belive Lynn Jonston has reached the hight of her craft.
Shave Ezra
April 5th, 2007 at 1:19 am
I think the punchline for Beetle Bailey explains Josh’s comment as well. It’s not funny, but it does sort of make sense.
The secretaries said they want to get the general a card for this anniversary, but when the general found out their plan, he thought that a card would not suffice for this significant occasion. So he forced all the soldiers to make a real party, whether they liked it or not, which is why they’re lacking joy and excitement.
Hoooo!
By the way, does Hoooo! guy in panel 3 have only two gigantic top teeth? Because if you think how he would sound saying that with only two teeth, it makes it so much better.
Max
April 5th, 2007 at 1:19 am
I’m not sure if Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo” Guy (GTS”H”G) is…Is he even human? Canadian? in any case, it doesn’t matter; I know this for certain: he is truly the epitome of foob, the “essence,” if you will. I belive Lynn Jonston has reached the hight of her craft.
Alex Blase
April 5th, 2007 at 1:20 am
Now I’m totally blogwhoring here. I set up a new site to handle all the queer qomics stuff I’ve been doing. The weekly will still be up on Bilerico, but I’m posting other stuff on the new site. This week’s Qomics for Queers is also up there (a little late). Just click on my name.
And can I say that I’m in love with Tom Forth? That’s totally the kind of man that I want in my life: one who knows when how to take a break from parenting at the first thought of some hot Sally action.
Adah
April 5th, 2007 at 1:21 am
If April’s new “street-urchin” up-do is any indication of what this future is going to be like, then I don’t want any part of it either.
Alex Blase
April 5th, 2007 at 1:21 am
Ugh, I put the wrong link up. Click on my name here.
Max
April 5th, 2007 at 1:21 am
Okay, somehow I managed to double post in a whole new way. Sorry about that…
Mibbitmaker
April 5th, 2007 at 1:25 am
Above:
FOOB: The “HOOOO” guy (or, the “FHOOOOB” guy) is actually David Letterman’s much younger brother that he never talks about.
Archie: Mr. Andrews has an another way he could “think light thoughs”: imagine the relative brain power of Dan Quayle, Jessica Simpson, President Dubya, and the FC kids. He’d float like a helium balloon!
BB: The soldiers had just finished chanting, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SIR!!” Very military and robotic. It’s duty.
Scott
April 5th, 2007 at 1:28 am
What freakishly small hands G.T.S.H. Guy has! His back ground story must involve at least 1 of his grandparents being a small Canadian Syrup-gnome. Looking at panel 3, his wrist could hardly fill the gap between his teeth. Probably a stolen Hockey player from Gil Thorp in a little cross promotion of ugliness.
Erik
April 5th, 2007 at 1:32 am
Ah, go easy on the Forths and the Duncans. There’s a reason saccharine, wholesome, “gee dad that’s swell” family sitcoms are considered boring and unrealistic.
Mike
April 5th, 2007 at 1:32 am
Beetle Bailey makes me die a little bit inside. That was so NOT funny it actually sucked humour out of the universe.
As for Gap Toothed Starey Guy….why does he remind me of Tom Anderson from the old Beavis and Butthead Show. Maybe its his grandson or something….
Mibbitmaker
April 5th, 2007 at 1:41 am
4/5 (numbers in exact sequence):
FOOB: (Doin’ it FOOBiverse Journal style)
Panel 1: Whaddaya know, the Double-Lip Twins!
Panel 2: Liz speaking April’s language. Meanwhile, Apes now has lips like Angelina Jolie. Talk about a crowded house!
Panel 3: Liz made a decision: to start quoting Billy Joel songs.
Panel 4: Touche, April!
Panel 5: If a reader had lost track of the strip for a few years, then finally came back to see this panel, they’d ask, “Who is that frumpy library nerdy type, and why is she chasing that skanky girl I’ve never seen before? Who are these people??”
SurpriseWitness
April 5th, 2007 at 1:43 am
Before I ever experienced the magnificent “Hoooo!” I stumbled over our shadowy friend’s first words: “Whoa! Congratulations on the birthday, April!” Seriously? “Whoa”…”Congratulations”? How hard is it for these people to live to 16?…although, living in the Foobiverse, I guess anyone who refrains from suicide has an indomitable spirit.
But still, it makes me wonder about the trials and tribulations of Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” Guy. I picture an abusive older brother who knocks a tooth out for every year his little, starey brother lives. At some point, he probably figured his best bet was to stop celebrating birthdays so he could spare whatever teeth he had left. “I’s only 11, I envy you, April! Wanna watch me spit walnuts throooo my gap?”
Lynngineering
April 5th, 2007 at 1:58 am
BB: Who really wants soldiers holding balloons? And then, to give to the higher ranks in the command. Wouldn’t that at least suggest to Miss B to think a bit differently about Beetle?
FBOFW: Really, Mike’s fantasy written all over. He returns to the house, of course, where he is really interested. He has his April-doll entering into Liz’s area to discover sis Liz leaving because he and Dee are STAYING in the Patterson central, and their brood and life is crowding her out. She also suggests they aren’t planning on leaving. So why hasn’t Liz thought of leaving before? Not necessary questions.
Then this being is dream fantasy going skewed after months of vegetating, signals start to enter in as words, like, “cramps” twice over two panels. It means, Mike lying in the hospital bed, suddenly got a cramp, and that entered into his fantasizing – - and in an oblique associative way, the term introduces the unstated yet understood – - April shape-shifter who is in drag-queen mode still, deals with all the options offered her in the different rooms of this family house – old honkin nose, fat ass, breeder, buns, all that growing up Patterson woman stuff – by simply stating the obvious: “style?!” April has style (she’s Mike’s creation now) but Liz…ha please.
Suddenly when she is running away from Liz, note that Liz looks more like Elly, and April appears momentarily like April-child, being yelled at by “Mom” who is going to give her the biological imperative – cramps!
winky
April 5th, 2007 at 2:00 am
christ, look at sally forth’s middle linebacker shoulders in the first panel… i’ll bet she could lay the wood on deuce mcallister coming out of the backfield … boo-ya!
Tad
April 5th, 2007 at 2:07 am
But there’s a sadness, a sort of inevitability, hidden in the recesses of that brave gappy smile. No, I’m sorry folks, G.T.S.H. guy knows his role. April and Gerald will turn out alright. They’re bright, peppy, FOOBish. Alas, for poor G.T.S.H. there’s no hope. I forsee a long soul search, ending with an enlistment with Beetle Bailey at 18 and an unfortunate deployment with Funky Winkerbean at 20.
Jesus, I need to go to bed.
Lynngineering
April 5th, 2007 at 2:12 am
FBOFW: ok, ok – - as for Mr. G.Tooth:
this being Mike’s Dream and all, in panel 2, couldn’t the line-up of people be read as a hideous Foobian version of Reggie, Betty, Archie, and Moose (i.e. G-TOOTH?) So in other words, Mike the author populated the high school scene with some variant of Riverdale…
arto
April 5th, 2007 at 2:25 am
If you think Gen. Halftrack’s party is a veritable barrel o’ laffs now, wait ’til you hear the rousing Citizen Kane-style singalong.
There is a man
A two-star man
And for the scamps in Swampy Camp he will do all he can
To deny fun
Gray as a gun
And ever after have the laughter magnates on the run
He neither smokes
Nor enjoys jokes
If laughs were cash his comic strip it would be really broke
With rank and fame
He’s still the same
I’ll bet you five you’re not alive if you enjoy his game
ItAintEazy
April 5th, 2007 at 3:04 am
I for one do not want to see the return of the GTS”H” Guy because he may turn out to be the estranged son of Lizardbreath’s workplace mugger who will drive an emotionally addled Apes into the arms of some kid with a thin, pubescent mustache.
Raznor
April 5th, 2007 at 3:43 am
Gap-toothed Starey “Hooooo” Guy also likes to relate information to people as if they didn’t already know it first hand. “Hey, Josh, you wrote a blog post in which you named me ‘Gap-toothed starey ‘Hoooooo’ Guy”!”
vanya
April 5th, 2007 at 4:21 am
FOOB: Once again, a stellar example of Lynn’s tin-ear. Can anyone really imagine a teen-age boy in 2007 yelling out “Sweet 16 an’ never been kissed!”? Who are these kids? I do like that dropped “d” in “and” to show that this is “teen-ager speak”.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2007 at 4:30 am
I hate to encourage April’s descent into debauchery…but Gerald never actually “scored”, as April tells him.
willethompson
April 5th, 2007 at 4:54 am
#28 arto: Riffin’ on Citizen Kane??? Woooooo! And I mean that as in a Ric Flair appreciative respectful way as ooposed to a gap toothed starey Canadian way….
Kurdt
April 5th, 2007 at 5:54 am
Gap-toothed starey ‘Hoooooo’ Guy in the second panel sort of looks like a guy I knew in high school who smelled really bad and was about as smart as a slug.
In the third panel he looks like a really bad Asian stereotype. Interesting how he switches races so suddenly….
I think the Hooo is just the wind whistling through his teeth.
William Sommerwerck
April 5th, 2007 at 6:09 am
Josh is rather missing the point of the Beetle Bailey strip; perhaps he should take a nap with cucumbers on his eyes.
Nobody likes General Halftrack. It’s no surprise the men couldn’t care less about the celebration, because it was the General who ordered it. Hardly a great joke, but it makes perfect sense, in context. As does Josh’s observation that he wouldn’t be surprised if the men fragged the General. Of course.
Should I also point out that this strip is more than 50 years old, and General Halftrack should have at least been put out to pasture — if not buried — by now?
TnK
April 5th, 2007 at 7:28 am
I realize that camisole of April’s is supposed to be made of feminine lace, and in the FOOBverse it is downright risque, but in subsequent panels it just looks like April has developed a healthy crop of chest hair.
Elizabeth Bennet
April 5th, 2007 at 7:33 am
I hear that gap-toothed starey ‘Hoooooo’ guy got a boat wrestling scholarship to State U.
seanman
April 5th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Say what you will about Fooby GSSHG; the other pal is no prize either. In panel 3, he looks like PacMan with an ill-fitting wig, about to devour April’s “power ups”.
Yeah, and today’s “cramps” thing was no less unsettling; much of the dialogue in this strip, generally, seems to have been run through some kind of damaged Canadian/American translating machine whose software hasn’t been updated since 1962, the moronic neologisms mere glitches in the program.
mnemonica
April 5th, 2007 at 7:53 am
I know this thread has ended, but *someone* needs to post the Beetle Bailey explanation, because many of you seem genuinely confused.
Halftrack found out about the card, and so he ordered a birthday-card-presentation ceremony. Military types have these sorts of ceremonies all the time, although not for the handing off of birthday cards, which is why I guess it’s supposed to be funny.
Hogen Mogen
April 5th, 2007 at 8:02 am
Beetle: Timeline check: If the General joined when he was 18, 30 years would put him at 48 years old. If he went to West Point, the Citadel or some other military academy, wouldn’t that also have been considered “joining” at 18? Even if you take a graduation at age 22, he’s only 52? Man, that guy is looking pretty beleagered for someone who has two secretaries and no job functions.
Hogen Mogen
April 5th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Why is Gerald laughing in panel 3? I’d be sort of mortified that my jerky friends are so easily spilling up my sexploits of the preceding weekend, especially to the one person who already knows about them firsthand. And, Gerald, you ingrate, at least thank April in public for saving your horny, drunken ass from a long walk home in the middle of the night that would have been made even harder from your unsatisfied pubescent manhood jutting out at an odd angle like the tree growing from the cliff in Beetle Bailey.
Phantom’s mighty talking crotch laughs at your little crotch. Phantom is like mighty tree, and Foobies are just twigs*
*Old jungle saying
Chert the Chort
April 5th, 2007 at 8:33 am
GT – Is that Jonathan Harris (a.k.a. Doctor Zachary Smith peeking into panel one?
David Bruggeman
April 5th, 2007 at 8:36 am
I think GTSHG is Jeremy Jones, April’s bully stalker from years ago. Continuing the Foobiverse’s tradition of subtlety, his come-uppance was getting hit by a car. Given how Mike and Deanna got reacquainted, Gerald should be worried.
GypsyMoth
April 5th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Gerald skates up to the blueline. He shoots! He scores! Oh wait….no he didn’t.
Zhym
April 5th, 2007 at 9:05 am
(DT)GT: Panel one is a landmark moment for the strip–one of the characters actually looks human! Unfortunately, that human is Agnes Moorehead.
Rob H.
April 5th, 2007 at 9:17 am
“It’s no surprise the men couldn’t care less about the celebration, because it was the General who ordered it.”
For all the outdateness of it’s pre-Vietnam personality, there are some things in the military that will never change. Overly elaborate functions meant only to serve the egos of the higher ups is one of them.
Rob H.
April 5th, 2007 at 9:18 am
“It’s no surprise the men couldn’t care less about the celebration, because it was the General who ordered it.”
For all the outdateness of BB’s pre-Vietnam personality, there are some things in the military that will never change. Overly elaborate functions meant only to serve the egos of the higher ups is one of them.
Teenage Bamm-Bamm
April 5th, 2007 at 9:19 am
So you go to school dressed like a whore and get upset when your friends question your moral character? Welcome to my life, April Patterson.
Biblio
April 5th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Wait a minute…that gap-toothed guy isn’t human at all! He’s a Troll from the Discworld, and he’s been pulling out his diamond teeth to keep Gerald and in crew in fine wines.
srah
April 5th, 2007 at 10:40 am
I would hit myself in the head with tree bark if I weren’t afraid I would end up on a t-shirt somewhere.
Little Guy
April 5th, 2007 at 10:49 am
FOOB: “Hoooo!”’s grandma is Lauren Hutton.
The Dane
April 5th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Re: Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo!†Guy
Those aren’t actually teeth. It’s his hard-as-glass Quaker Oats mustache. He works really hard to get that dynamic part down the middle like that.
Foobar
April 5th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Here is your balloon, sir.
Sob, choke.
Take the balloon, sir.
I… I…
You will take the balloon.
O…okay.
*rata-tata-tata-tat!*
mir
April 5th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
Is it my imagination or does Archie’s dad lose about fifty pounds between panels 1 and 3? Look at the gut! or did the artist reconsider the gut when he realized that Papa Andrews wouldn’t be able to see the scale.
katya
April 5th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
For Better or for Worse has a long history of Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy. He appears whenever Lynn Johnston needs someone in the background to represent repugnant male behavior. In fact I’m surprised he didn’t make an appearance as Elizabeth’s would be rapist.
Even though he hadn’t appeared in awhile, I’m sure if you went back to the days when Liz was in high school and guys noticed her ho-ey alternative friend Candace in her 90s sheer shirt over bra top get-up, you’d see Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!” Guy “Hoooo!”ing in the background.
Wayward
April 5th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Thunder -
Thunder -
Thunder -
Thunderfoobs – HOOOOOOOO!
Buck Ripsnort
April 5th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Archie doesn’t look like an “angry lowland gorilla”, he looks like Magilla after his last banana’s been swiped.
Steve S
April 5th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
All these middle aged people writing comics about middle aged people who hate their children really ought to just stamp “I knew raising kids was a huge burden, and I was just as bad a kid once, but I foolishly plowed ahead nonetheless, and now I’m taking out my misery on you” across every strip. Just as funny, just as true, and a refreshing admission that having kids sucks and that parents need to take the blame for a lot of what they put on the kids they’ve done a terrible job raising.
tblue
April 5th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
Now that April is a sex object, she is getting the same Angelina Jolie lips that Elizabeth gets whenever her sex life is the theme of a FOOB installment.
I am waiting for Granthony’s lips to balloon like that beneath his pornstache. Then we will know he and Liz are getting it on.
Tim
April 5th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
1. No self-respecting 70-year old teenager such as Archie would get up from an LCD TV (albeit it looks to be a 13-inch one) to go watch their fat old man weigh himself – unless they had bets with their friends about it.
2. How did an LCD TV get back to the 1940s anyway?
King Folderol
April 5th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
GT (DT) – Brynna looks quite simian in Panel 2. No joke here, just thought I’d note that.
FBOFW – The “hooooo!” guy is either the result of some sort of genetic mishap, a freak accident at the nuclear power plant, or Lynn was drunk out of her mind and didn’t have a character ready to draw. Either way, it is comedy gold.
BB – No matter how dreary things are at Camp Swampy, Beetle, Pluto and the gang should be relieved that they’re not getting shot at in Iraq.
Jay
April 5th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
“Hooo” looks like a chinaman stereotype in the third panel.
evie oh oh
April 5th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
hmm. BB is so without sense it is almost surreal. Like you would wander into it just before the general turned into Freddy Kruger and said something like “at ease, men!” in friday the thirteenth #27.
alamo
April 5th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
foobville — “hoooo! guy” cries t-shirt – best worn inside out.
mt — dueling organs: cherry’s vagina conversing with mark’s gall bladder.
bb — how has the general avoided being fragged? 30 years? hoooo! it is at least 60 and it seems like a 100! hoooo!
Smaug
April 5th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy has:
(1) no neck;
(2) a nose the approximate size of his fist.
And has anyone observed that new post-sixteen-metamorphosed-trollop April makes a face just like Therese?
Anonymous
April 5th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
Playdowns, Josh? Playdowns? Come on, man!
mumbles
April 5th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
If it weren’t for the Foob Dynasty’s tendency for litigation (or for threatening litigation), I’d want a Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy t-shirt.
mumbles
April 5th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Yeah, upon review of the third panel, I agree with others, and can only conclude that GTS”H” guy’s laughing at April about the whole “pee pee in her Coke” thing he just pulled on her.
Emily
April 6th, 2007 at 12:40 am
You know what would be totally awesome?
If two teenage foobs consumated their completely legal relationship with totally consensual intimacy, in a way that literal hundreds of billions have done before, and it was NOT SOME BIG FRIKKING PROBLEM.
Joe Bftsplk
April 6th, 2007 at 2:13 am
I understand what the joke in Beetle Bailey is supposed to be, or at least I think I do; Gen. Halftrack was miffed at getting only a puny card for his big anniversary, and arranged a party for himself. My problem is that this doesn’t make sense even within the context of the strip. The implication is that the Camp Swampy grunts wouldn’t have had to attend this dismal affair if the General hadn’t “found out about” the card. But, you’re getting him the card, right? How is he not going to find out about it? As soon as he gets the card, he’ll find out about it, and he’ll be just as insulted, and there’s no reason why he wouldn’t order up the shindig just the same. Unless there’s some regulation buried deep in the Code Of Conduct that permits a general to requisition balloons only prior to, and not subsequent to, the delivery of a card. He’ll be reaching for the phone just as Ms. Blipps or whatever her name is drops the envelope on his desk, and he’ll slap his forehead in defeat and wail, “Dammit! I was this close! Well, nothing I can do now. I’ve been rendered powerless. Have to wait another ten years I guess. Sure wish I’d found out about that card.”
The Poster Formally Known as Mike
April 6th, 2007 at 4:46 am
I know its only a comic strip, Joe, but to make the joke even lamer….no one would really know it was the general’s anniversary outside of his immediate staff, really. Beetle and the rest of the grunts would literally have no contact with the general on anything resembling a regular basis. I’ve been on active duty for almost 18 years and I think I’ve run into the post commander ONCE.
That and they stopped calling Army bases “Camp” long time ago. Shouldn’t it be Fort Swampy?
anonymous
April 6th, 2007 at 8:42 am
I HATE Halftrack. He’s mean to his wife. I wish Beetle Bailey would run him over with a tank or something.
Bex
April 6th, 2007 at 11:03 am
I think the characters of Gil Thorp are slowly evolving into Coneheads. Brynna’s ever elongating forehead continues to be personal nightmare fodder.
Frank Drackman
April 6th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I think “HOO-guy” is Howard Erks idiot younger brother….
Carol
April 6th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Every time I read Sally Forth it always bothers me how broad shouldered all the characters are. What’s with this?? The world isn’t filled with broad shouldered people. At least not my part of the world. Let’s make the people seem a little more realistic and not all the same shape!
Sly Robbie
April 6th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
If we step into the Wayback machine and travel back 15 or 16 years to 1990 or so…
Gap-toothed comic David Letterman, (known for using the expression “Hoooo!” to offset jokes that misfire with his audience) accompanies Paul Schaeffer to visit Toronto. After a night of slamming down Molson Bradors at some dive on Younge Street, he makes the acquaintance of a comely Canadian gal of questionable virtue who leads him back to her place for a round of pity sex.
“Condoms?!” the Late Nite star thinks to himself “what the heck do I need condoms for… when am I ever coming back to this place again?”
Alas, fast-forward to 2007. The annals of Foob reveal the result of Dave’s indescretion and thus the Legend of Letterspawn — Gap-Toothed Starey “Hoooo†Guy is born!
/Robbie
Sly Robbie
April 6th, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Whore-ton hears a “Hoooo!”
wooga
April 6th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Seeing the new “hooo!” foob, I can’t help but be reminded of the esteemed Sloth from the Goonies.
I pray that the foobiverse version of “Sloth loves Chunk!” turns out to be “Hoooo loves Gerald!”
Sly Robbie
April 11th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Cue Roger Daltrey:
“Well, who are you?
(who are you? Hoooo! Hoooo! Who, Hoooo!?)”
“I really wanna know!
(who are you? Hoooo! Hoooo! Who, Hoooo!?)”
“Tell me, who are you?
(who are you? Hoooo! Hoooo! Who, Hoooo!?)”
” ’cause I really wanna know!
(who are you? Hoooo! Hoooo! Who, Hoooo!?)”
Mr. Lemon
March 19th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Todays Beetle further prooves my point! The General’s gestapo is off camera, just waiting to off anyone who steps out of line! They’re all terrified out of their minds!
mooshakes
April 14th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I made an aim icon cause he’s so amazing
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v361/mooshakes/hooh.gif