Metapost: Head-bashing fun!
OK, kids, I’ve strung you along for long enough. It’s time to reveal to the world the first round of entries in the Self-Clubbing Tyler Lookalike Contest! Here’s the glorious panel you’re all trying to match, for reference:
Let’s start with an entry from a reader who likes to be known as Dr. Jeff Corey. He sent several variations on his picture; this is the one I liked best.
Dr. Jeff’s lovely and talented wife, Lucy Van Pelt, added this Brynna Antenna cameo.
(You might remember Lucy as the winner of the Finger Quotin’ Margo contest. This is one family that just can’t get enough of the comics character imitatin’!)
But back to Tyler. Next up is faithful reader Harold. “I think a few neighbors are probably wondering why I had my 10-year-old nephew taking pictures of me whacking myself in the head with an oak tree branch,” he says.
The inimitable Dean Booth was too shy to put his own face and bashed head on camera. But he did create a Self-Clubbing Tyler Action Figure, which you’d better believe is going to hit stores everywhere soon! Here he is in mint condition in his original packaging:
And this is what the playset looks like when you get it all put together:
And, oh yeah, did we mention that it has mechanical parts that really work? You’d better believe it, buddy!
Still more pics are available on Dean’s Web page, including a good one of the back of the action figure’s bloody head.
Faithful reader Johnny Cat uses special effects to capture Tyler’s dead, dead eyes:
Faithful reader Kevin created a Tron-like virtual world wherein his self-clubbing took place:
And finally, here’s faithful reader Lee’s entry. “That orb is actually a basketball, a really dirty basketball,” he notes.
Now, unless you’re one of these people, you’re almost certainly sitting there thinking to yourself, “Aw, crap! This is awesome and fun! Why didn’t I enter in time?” Well, it’s not too late. You’ve got another week or so to get in on the action! So get crackin’ and send those pics in soon!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
That is the most awesomest thing ever. I’m glad to see everyone using their powers for good!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
SHANNON!!! Get your hairy butt in gear and enter this thing, or I’ll be forced to post more entries relating to comic characters’ wangs on our collective blog!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
This is…it’s…it…it makes me weep with joy. Well done, head-whackers!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
These photos are twisted and amazing. They warm the cockles of my dark heart. MORE! MORE!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Great pics!
And, from today’s strip, from the mouth of Marty Moon:
“Mark Jeske’s curve bends into Ken Burger’s mitt, and the season is underway.â€
Sounds to me like Rex Morgan has just collided with the world of Gil Thorp.
I think somebody’s going to be forced into the Bucket pretty soon.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Wow. I’m awe-struck and inspired.
I’m getting the camera ready and the pomade out right now. But nobody better tell me I whack like a girl.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I love you. I love you all so, so much. THANK YOU!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
#2: OK! OK! I’ll… Wait. “More entries…?”
*checks blacksundae*
Gah! That’s hilarious.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
That first photo is perfect. Almost. Wille, photoshop a tiny moon on that, wouldja?
April 20th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Bravo, gentlemen!! And kudos to Lucy’s Brenna pic.
I giggled uncontrollably at that doll, though. How much, Dean?
April 20th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Oh, this is all beyond awesome. I’m so proud to be a Curminion.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Ya’ll are GREAT!, can’t wait for the next batch
You nuts have inspired me to parody “Headknocker” by Foreigner…That is, if it hasn’t already been done.
So far I only have the chorus:
“Headknockers, headknockers
Bashin’ your gourds, you’re real eyeball poppers
Headknockers”
April 20th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Wow, I’ve heard of posting self-whacking pictures on the internet… I’m sorely tempted to join in!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Awesome, awesome stuff, people!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Ah, sweet, sweet head whackin’! It’s so good for what ails you, particularly if what’s ailing you is that your head isn’t getting whacked.
Now I ask you, since Gil Thörp has been the inspiration for so much cruelly beautiful hilarity, can it really be all that bad?
The answer, of course, is “yes.”
April 20th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Dean Booth, you had me at “Now with HEAD WHACKIN’ ACTION!”
April 20th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Yeah, Dr. Jeff Corey’s is just about perfect, aside from the moon. Kevin and Corey both captured an important aspect of the panel- no, not the WHITE NEON- the apparent shortness of the stick. It enhances the “how the hell is he doing that?” factor which is so essential to the humour. Also important, the recognition of the dharma truth; all existence is suffering, and all things are transitory, except for playing basketball.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Yes, yes. “Head whackin’ action!” indeed. You’re pulling your head, son.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
FOOB – Use a goddamn computer, Liz! Also, memo to all adults everywhere: “txtspk” is not cool or hip, and never was. Anyone under 30 who has half a brain realizes that the people who do this are total idiots, and most people over 30 knew this all along. It’s only the teenage dumbasses who do this and the painfully square boardroom adults who are trying to cater to them.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
I vote for Harold, although I like all of them. His branch looks like one of those trick arrows that appear to enter one side of his head and exit the other. Harold the impaler. Also, the expression of pain looks genuine. I guess my own 2×4 coco conking picture doesn’t count since that was not self flagellation, but rather Axel Fusco hitting me with it…
I’ll wait for some more June Gale Morgan breast shots for the self flagellation!
April 20th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
What great stuff! More Tyler pics, mules!
If Josh doesn’t mind, I will auction off the mechanical Tyler — highest donation to CC gets the boy toy! I’ll give my e-dress for bids if Josh okays it.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
12. Red Greenback, your Foreigner suggestion is down and dirty. You appear to be feeling kind of mean, as though you had been from one to the other extreme.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
will(é)thompson: M!B!S! gear update?
April 20th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Harold = Radar O’Reilly?
Sorry, I guess I’ve been watching too much MASH lately.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
DtM: Speaking of head-whackin’, this is some serious menacing! NSFW, I guess. (All I did was add a leg!)
[I originally posted this two posts back by mistake.]
April 20th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I think Lee’s entry should win because his picture contains a mysterious background orb floating in mid air, a mosty (DT)-GT-like detail. The only way to make it better better would be some confetti or strange sparkley lights.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Goodness, Dean, I am not going to say no to that! Thanks!
Josh
April 20th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
May I humbly suggest the next set of metaimages involve this?
April 20th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
If you’d like to bid on the mechanical head-whackin’ Tyler, email me at deanbooth@yo-god.com. The highest bid can donate the $$ directly to Josh. Bidding ends on Mayday!
…um, I guess I can post the latest bid on my Tyler page. I’ll let you know.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
#22-Moss:
You’ve obviously seen it before
They’ll do it every time…
April 20th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Don’t hit yourselves too hard, you could turn into:
Link
You have been warned.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
If someone can do a lookalike photo of Dan getting knocked over, with his wig and beard floating in the air, I will send them a giant talking squirrel as a prize.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
I don’t think I can win this. Dr. Corey’s is too perfect.
But nonetheless, I might give it a whack– get it? HA! HA! HA! HA!
April 20th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
#9 Gabe: Done and sent to Josh, if he feels that doctored images won’t take him out of the Pulitzer voting for next year.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I forgot to say: Dr. Jeff Corey gets extra points for the forehead curl.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Thanks for the “being hit on the head lessons”…It made me go “Waaah!”
April 20th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
You rock, Wille.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
SHIRT ALERT/CUP UPDATE!
Shirt-only orders were shipped yesterday USPS Priority.
The cups were supposed to have been here today, but the cup mfg basically lied about their shipping. we’re looking at Tuesday now. All the shipping boxes are labeled and sitting like a block fort in the living room.
And I have to vote for Kevin, as he just NAILED the expression. I could be persuaded to add the pointy accent lines around the head for authenticity, but you’ll have to beg. Or ask Dean Booth.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Hitting yourself too many times in the head can result in cancer.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Awesome entries! I give the Gold to Dr. Jeff Corey, the Silver to Kevin. Dr. Jeff, I’m amazed at your attention to detail: the brick wall, the cars in the background, the clothing, the hair, and that expression of soulless determination (I guess shaving would have been a lot to ask). And though I’m glad you didn’t dislocate your arm from its shoulder socket just for the sake of this contest, you still made a very close approximation!
April 20th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Kevin
April 20th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Brilliant, all of you! I admire your dedication to curmudgeonry.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I want that action figure!!
Y’all rock.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
ATTENTION EARTHERS! SUCK IN YOUR BUTTCHEEKS IN ANTICIPATION OF THE WORST! CHENNUX SPEAKS!
CHENNUX HAS NOTED A MARKED LACK OF ADMIRATION FOR HIS IMPERIAL SELF AS OF LATE! POTEET DOESN’T GROVEL, APPLEGIRL DOESN’T TEXT, NON-SHANNON IS SCREENING HER CALLS, MOONMULLINS WON’T HONOR HIS PRESCRIPTIONS, MONKEYHAWK TASTES LIKE LEFTOVERS! SO TO REMIND YOU WHO’S THE BIG SCALY CAHOONA AROUND THIS ARM OF THE GALAXY, I’VE SHUT DOWN THE KINGFEATURES SERVER UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! THAT’LL LEARN YOU, YOU PUNY…
(…what the margoboxcar?)
WHAT IS THIS? EARTHERS WHACKING THEMSELVES WITH STICKS? FOR COMEDY? CHENNUX HAS TRIED COMEDY BEFORE, BUT HE THOUGHT IT WAS SNARKING AND CANCER JOKES! BUT HEADWHACKING GETS LAFFS AND ADMIRATION? HAHA? CHENNUX MUST PONDER THIS…
UMM. OK! BACK TO BUSINESS! GROVELING! AND POTATOES!
END TRANSMISSION!
April 20th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Those pictures are too remarkable for words. My hat is off to you Barky Whackers.
Dean Booth, you are too twisted to be as talented as you are. Or are you too talented to be as twisted as you are. I don’t know for sure, but I do know that action figure will go for big, big, bucks. Maybe even US currency! Maybe you should consider a whole Thorp series of action figures. Then you could do a Spider-man NON-action figure series.
April 20th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
It’s always astonishing, the lengths to which we Curmudgeonites will go, in order to accurately recreate an absurd comics scene. I admire (and am simultaneously disturbed by) everyone’s dedication.
Lee, that basketball is beyond dirty…where the heck have you been keeping it, in a bag of charcoal briquettes?
April 20th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
You guys are so awesome! Every entrant deserves a yummy Mary Worth dinner!
April 20th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I like to imagine how the dialog in MT would sound if it were spoken with the emphasis Elrod intended:
Dan: Come on, Mark, this is your old FRIEND, Dan…FRIENDS STICK TOGETHER!
Mark: We WERE friends!
Dan: We can SPLIT the money…You’ll be RICH…I’ll do ANYTHING you say, I just don’t want SALLY to go to jail!
Mark: You should have thought of that earlier. (Hmm, anything?)
Dan: Okay, I APOLOGIZE…I made a MISTAKE…NO HARD FEELINGS!
Mark: Good luck, Dan! (Hmmm, anything, eh?)
April 20th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Dean, this is your Don.
Ill mk u n offr u cnt rfs.
and
Kvn!
April 20th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
My question is, when are we doing a June Morgan sweater puppy look-alike contest?
April 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
More information on whacking can definitely be found on the internet.
April 20th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
45- PeteMoss
Would a Spiderman Non-action figure playset justconsist of a Spiderman doll sitting in front of the TV, watching J.Jonah Jameson? And it would have to come with a flying brick, as well.
I bet Dean Booth can come up with this!
April 20th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Actually more information can lead to whacking…
April 20th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
I have no idea how I lived before I stumbled upon Josh and all his Popeful Wonders two years ago today. The sheer fabulousness of all your headwhacking performances and art deserves an uptown gallery show. I just wish Leo Castelli were still alive to appreciate all this. We’d all be drinking cheap white wine from plastic glasses and eating pieces of dry cheese on toothpicks at the opening tonight, snarking ourselves into an urban coma.
April 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Mr. Booth!
I’ll give you $5! Grandpa, pay the man!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/4/20&name=One_Big_Happy
April 20th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
44 GEC: I may not grovel sufficiently, your Imperial Wonderfulness, but in the most recent yesterthread I did pay obeisance to your thumbs. Sort of.
Your message gives me hope that we will next see a photo or other representation of your Galactic Overlordness thwacking yourself in the head… or do you have underlings to do that for you?
April 20th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Re: 50
Such a contest would be utterly pointless, for only I can properly compete with June’s sweater puppies.
April 20th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
P.S. to G. E. Chennux–Flattery will get you everywhere.
April 20th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
#57 Non-Shannon
If you’re competing, I don’t see how it would be “pointless.”
April 20th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Not sure what Mark Trail would have to say about this, but I thought it was funny.
http://www.misterkitty.org/extras/stupidcovers/stupidcomics96.html
April 20th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
#57 Non-S:
Don’t be coy, girl — where’s the link?
April 20th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
ATTENTION CHENNUX! COMPRESS YOUR LIZARD BOWELLS IN CRINGING FEAR OF MONKEYHAWK!! FOR I HAVE DISCOVERED YOUR WEAKNESS!!
YOU CLAIM, IN A RECENT POST, TO WIT: “so to remind you who’s the big scaly cahoona around *this* arm of the galaxy, i’ve shut down the kingfeatures server…”
HA! THIS arm?!
THIS arm of the galaxy?!
WHAT PART OF “GALACTIC” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?
“This arm of the galaxy” AIN’T “galactic,” AMPHIBIAN-BREATH!.
AS IT TURNS OUT, OUR LORD AND PROTECTOR UNIVERSAL OVERLORD FLOYD HAS CONTACTED ME AND IS DETERMINED TO QUASH YOUR MEGLOMANIA!
DO THE MATH! UNIVERSAL TRUMPS “galactic,” AND MOST CERTAINLY WILL SQLUD YOUR PATHETIC ATTMPTS TO OVERCOME UNIVERSAL OVERLORD FLOYD’s SUPREME POWERS.
VERY TRULY YOURS, MONKEYHAWK, ET CETERA, ET CETERA. SEND A COPY TO THE COMICS CURMUDGEON WEB SITE. THANK YOU, MITZI. YOU CAN PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON NOW.
NO. NO! THAT LAST PART ISN’T PART OF THE LETTER. DON’T SEND THAT TO chennux! DAMN…
April 20th, 2007 at 4:14 pm
52 – Perky Bird
I believe you are on to something. Those figures should not be bendable or pose-able, either. There should be no hint of motion or anything that might elicit excitement.
57. Non-Shannon said “sweater puppies.”
*giggles foolishly*
April 20th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Headwhackers, I am in awe. (Now that my wild shrieks of laughter are under control.) Thank you all.
# 44 — Your Glorious Imperialness, I’m honored that you miss my groveling. I dare to call your all-powerful attention, however, to the fact that the last time you favored us with two or three snarks about comics, a few threads ago, I laughed quite heartily and thanked you. I had hoped that would gratify Your Excellency, but since it is not sufficient, I bow low, with deep apologies, and then fall flat, rising only enough to shuffle backward out the door on my knees, with salaaming.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
If Dr. Jeff Corey did not shave for “Finger Quotin’ Margo Contest”, you can hardly expect him to do so for the Tyler self-clubbing contest! I do like the curl, by the way.
Kudos to all you headachey contestants! Your devotion goes beyond pain, obviously.
And Monkeyhawk, nice knowing ya.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
# 57 — Non-Shannon, you have intrigued many of us, and I would be interested in a link even though I have (strictly-noncompetitive) sweater puppies of my own. A quarter-century ago…never mind.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
#57 – Damn, I only wish my sweater puppies looked like June’s – she must have gotten the new Victoria’s Secret anti-gravity bra. Any woman of her age that’s that well endowed should be hanging lower and lazier by now.
Not that I know from firsthand experience, or anything.
Also, I am getting really excited about the rug that’s going to be pulled out from under Margo aaaaaany second now. Hell hath no fury like a Margo scorned!
April 20th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
# 62 — MonkeyHawk, I might have tried to intervene on your behalf in times past, but far be it from me to interfere with a man who is so bold in putting his life and epidermis on the line. I agree with bootsybooks — nice knowing you,
April 20th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
66 – Non-Shannon’s photo occasionally appears in the curmegeon gear ads along the side, along with her iguana. Although “puppies” is probably a misnomer – hers are sweater St. Bernards.
62 – Thanks, Monkeyhawk. I’m moving to Australia now. If anyone survives, please let me know when the smoke clears on this side of the planet.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
#54 – Islamorada Girl
Happy Anniversary! I hope today’s fantabulously funny comments more than make up for the fact that nobody baked you a pie.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
69 – correction – I mean curmudgeon – blame it on these clumsy fingrs.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Sweater puppies are a national treasure. Won’t you give now? Call 1-800-SWT-PPPS. All donations will be handled with discretion.
gh ♥ fri-dz
c u mndy!
April 20th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Kevin’s got my vote; look at the shirt with the stripes down the center of the front; the tiny white moon or whatever the hell it is, and he’s got the forehead curl and the “sort of looks like he’s responding to the pain of whacking his own head but this is Gil Thorp so there’s only A to B emotional expression possible” look. Add the brickwall and the car in the background – yeah, this has it all.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Victoria’s Secret–bah!
There’s nothing like the Sweater Puppy Whisperer bra. One little chsk! and they sit up and stay.
April 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Some women have sweater puppies, some of us have more like sweater sharpeis, or sweater bloodhounds.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
75 Allie Cat, Hahaha! Sweater Shar-peis! (But adorable, like Satchel.)
April 20th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Lucy Van Pelt’s Brynna Antenna deserves kudos, as well. Love the chopsticks or knitting needles, or whatever those thing-a-ma-bobs are. Only draw back: Not enough forehead.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Sweater Satchels…
April 20th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
(…what the…)
ATTENTION EARTHERS! COVER YOUR EARS AND ANY OTHER ORIFICE THAT MAY BE CHAPPED BY EXTREME VOLUME AND HEAT! CHENNUX SPEAKS! ESPECIALLY TO THE BEING FORMERLY KNOWN AS MONKEYHAWK!
A COUPLE OF THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE CHENNUX PULLS THE TRIGGER, MY FOOLHARDY SIMIO-AVIAN!
1) IT’S SPELLED ‘BOWELS,’ NOT “BOWELLS!”
2) IT’S SPELLED ‘MEGALOMANIA,’ NOT “MEGLOMANIA!”
3) AND FLOYD? YOU LISTENED TO FLOYD?? PURPLISH ENTITY, LOTSA TENTACLES, SMELLS LIKE ELDERBERRIES? HAHA!! FLOYD IS THE IMPERIAL COURT JESTER! YOU HAVE BEEN SO PUNK’D!! BWAHAHAHA! CHENNUX HAS NOT LAUGHED THIS HARD SINCE THE SYRUP DANCE OF 29¶#†!
FOR MAKING CHENNUX LAUGH, COMICS ARE RESTORED! FOR STEPPING ON THE WRONG IMMENSE GREEN SCALY TOES, I RECOMMEND MARINADING YOURSELF IN VINEGAR, MOLASSES AND CLARIFIED GRANNIX PHLEGM FOR THE NEXT 18 EARTH HOURS!
ASK NOT AT WHOM THE MAGMACANNON FIRES! IT FIRES AT THEE!
END TRANSMISSION!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
BB – I always imagined that Killer had some suave patter he employed when dealing with the ladies, charming them with great lines that I could never dream up. Turns out he just grabs them by the arm in desperation and annoys the hell out of them. If he ain’t a “lady killer,” what kind of killer is he? They certainly don’t do any killing in this outfit since they never leave the Camp Swampy. Maybe he once worked for Terminex.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Magmacannon?
Ha!
Feels more like a spell-flame to me.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Reading the last thread it was nice to see I’m not the only annoyed at today’s fairly innocuous piece of FOOB.
Liz? A word?
1) When you text someone, you keep it short and sweet. You do NOT make small talk.
2) If you’re going to send a frikkin’ novel anyway, throw in some vowels. It can’t make your thumbs hurt anymore than they already do.
3) And if you make a habit of babbling, send a frikkin’ VOICE MAIL!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
1. Pictures of you and your friends arent funny. Comments on comics are funny.
2. See No. 1.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Oh, and 3. there are a lot of comics that aren’t called Family Circus, Rex Morgan, FBOFW, Ziggy, Dick Tracy, Apt 3-G, or TDIET. Check around, you’ll find them.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Oh, and regarding the head-bashers:
I am in awe. I don’t know what impresses me more: the attention to detail or the willingness to pose in the first place. I am far too bashful to join in. Although, by posing in front of my bathroom mirror I have discovered that I am still flexible enough to whack myself in the head with no pain. (In my arm, I mean; my head would be another story. Thank you, gymnastics and ballet.) So, that’s good to know, I guess.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Poteet–Because of your recent fascinated and fascinating comments, I have just added Dick Tracy to my comics subscription. Gulp.
Also got rid of Baldo. I agree it has no charm when drawn in the regular way.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
FOOB: A one bedroom basement apartment, eh Liz?
Let’s hope her upstairs neighbors are the “perfect couple” with two foot-stompin’ hellions running around an’ leaving their bikes on the stairwell for her to trip over. Try complaining to your family about that an’ see how far you get.
Oh, and the head-whackin’ pics? Too frickin’ funny! I laughed so hard grannix phlegm came out my nose.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
#86 O’F -
Did anything come of that immigration bust in Baldo, or was it actually an April Fool joke? Hard to imagine the author of a comic about Hispanic people would be that tone-deaf.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Jeff Corey. Head-bashin’ winner. Hands down.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
John, are you… are you trolling?
April 20th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
#90 Shannon -
Nobody does that anymore.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
83, 84 John:
Corollary 1: Funny pictures of you and your friends are funny. Unfunny comments on comments on comics are not funny.
Corollary 2: There are a lot of comics that aren’t called Family Circus, Rex Morgan, FBOFW, Ziggy, Dick Tracy, Apt 3-G, or TDIET that are regularly discussed here. Check back often!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
OWWWW! Make it STOP!!! Curses upon you, #62 & 81 MonkeyHawk!!!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
#92 SP -
You, sir, are a wit reductionist!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
The facial expression, the car, the walls, the proportions, the everything–Kevin’s really hit it. Um, so to speak. The mayor of Milford should host him for lunch. And just imagine the zany fun of spending a weekend in Milford!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Well, I for one loved the current Head Whackin’ photo contest, as well as the previous Finger Quotin’ Margo contest.
Sounds to me like someone needs a nap.
April 20th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
92. Stinky Pete
Thanks. You beat me to it. Well written, lad.
I like to think those Barky Whackers in the pictures are my friends, too, even though I never met them. Anyone who’d pose for a picture like that is bound to be fun to hang around with..more so than someone who posts complaints. Not that I’m complaining or anything!
April 20th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
88 Uncle Lumpy: immigration bust? What immigration bust? I’ve only been following it for two or three weeks, and was unable to discern any plot at all. I might have kept reading if I’d known there was a bust going on. Other than in RMMD, I mean….
April 20th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
I agree, Kronkina. I thought this was very amusing. Somebody needs a nappy nap, yes, or more likely a major attitude adjustment.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Oh, yeah and –
Go, Mudlarks!!! Toss those Trojans like a used…like a used…damn, I got nothin’.
Go Team. Win one for the Clambake!!
April 20th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I also vote for Kevin (so far), and not just for the cute factor. I swear! I agree with the other commenters’ chastely formalistic praise, and also concur with the general praise of all entrants’ bangin’ bounty of creative insanity.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
John: Weak troll, dude.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Isn’t trolling where you sit under a bridge and eat goats that try to cross over it? Or are we talking about bass fishing? I bet Clambake knows.
Pigborn or Pibgorn? Try saying that five times fast.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
#103-Pete: I can’t even say that one time slow. Even when I employ Shan…non-style pacing
April 20th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
MW: I think everyone will agree that the current story line is exceedingly boring, and that Vera has no redeeming features whatever, except perhaps her name. Reflecting upon this, I realized that it is names that make Mary’s plots. Would we all have loved Aldo Kelrast so much if his name had not anagrammed to “Load Stalker”? I think not! Would we give a fig about Vera Shields did her name not tell her everything we need to know about her (”Truth Hides”)?? I know not! In fact, we don’t care about her!
I’ve been thinking about future story lines, and have some suggestions for Karen Moy (who I KNOW has to be reading us), based upon characters’ names:
Hope Springs–this eternally optimistic, curvaceous and naive young computer operator lands in Charterstone while apartment sitting for her elderly aunt. The plot revolves around watching Hope’s optimism and happiness wither under the relentless prying of Mary and her minions. The story ends when she flees to the relatively upbeat demesnes of Funky Winkerbean.
Victor Clambake–a hunky older guy, Victor, who was a successful baseball player in his prime, comes to Charterstone to be nearer to his daughter, a functionary in the Santa Royale police department. Because he is very nearsighted as well as in the early stages of dementia, Victor falls in love with Mary, not realizing he will have to arm wrestle Jeff to win her hand. Mary, flattered, puts out, though thankfully not onscreen. The story ends tragically when Victor’s daughter arrests Mary for elder abuse.
Maz O’Sist–A youngish tool, Maz, or Mazzy as everyone calls her, moves into the apartment next door to Mary’s, despite warnings from several current residents. As soon as she meets Mary and the Camerons, Maz realizes she is living in a little piece of heaven. She gorges herself on Mary’s tuna casserole and pies, answers every question put to her by Mary and the Camerons, and even allows them to go through all her clothes and closets. The plot ends badly, though, when the Charterstone bullies realize that this woman’s life is so empty that there is nothing to be gained by further meddling, and Mary has the management evict Ms. O’Sist.
Okay, that’s it for me for the day. Off to a softball game!
April 20th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
#98 O’F
The April 1 (Sunday) Baldo showed Tia Carmen dragged off by INS agents – really pretty horrifying. But no foreshadowing, and nothing since.
It was remarked on here, but has since crossed into the darkness beyond the Universal Press Syndicate’s sunset rule.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
#24 Debt On, RADAR O’REILLEY? I’ve never heard that suggested before. Possibly because I could tuck Gary Burghoff under my arm and carry him around like a rolled-up newspaper. It’s the glasses, the hairline, and the olive-drab shirt, isn’t it?
I really expected to see a Cavalcade of Curmudgeons whacking themselves with a variety of sticks in a variety of settings – not to see the amazing stuff that’s been done here! Fantastic!
The most surprising thing about this exercise is learning just how easy it is to bend your arm into the position Tyler is holding his. Ah, the amazing ball-and-socket joint! Really, it’s just the same action as using a back scratcher or a bath brush. Only much more violent.
April 20th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
howcum and why, oh, why can’t we all just get along
barky stick vs. spider-brick
allergy medisin startz ta tak fx…
April 20th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
I’ll cast my vote for Kevin – although all of them are simply awesome – but Kevin perfected so much detail, from the jacket to the expression to the background. And I note that, while there are no motion lines, it can be clearly seen that his arm and the stick are in motion as the photo was snapped! Bravo!
I hope the loving attention to detail did not extend to the point that your scalp “opened up real nice.”
April 20th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
While Dean Booth’s Head-Whackin’ Tyler action figure (from Hasbro!) is truly awesome, I challenge him to create the one thing that could surpass his earlier creation: The Margo doll–with Finger-Quotin’ “Action”.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
All the head-bashers are hilarious! I’m no geologist, but it had to be a lot of work to set up those shots so perfectly.
44 – Emperor Chennux – I text you all the time! I LOVE texting you! And my texts are GOOD ones. Not like Liz’s basement apartment text.
Chennux, my feelings are kinda hurt. Text me!
April 20th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
Hmmm… I just KNOW I’ve seen the first panel of today’s DT somewhere before…
Oh yeah!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXhEl7mkxgI
(Today’s DT for comparison: http://images.chron.com/apps/comics/images/2007/4/20/Dick_Tracy.737.g.gif)
April 20th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Re the Tyler contest, are we supposed to vote for one person each from this and any future sets of photos? Or is Josh going to pick the winner himself, as is his right as our illustrious Pope? The latter would be fine with me, especially since then I wouldn’t have to choose between these excellent entries. Each has something different going for it.
And as a passing useless observation, where I live, most tree branches of the diameter used by Tyler for head-whacking don’t really have “rough bark.” It must be different in Illville, or whatever that demented town is.
# 86 — O’Fogeyette, I am truly honored, and also a little concerned. Didn’t you recently add the dreaded (DT)GT to your list? Adding DT as well seems a little risky for brain health. But you’re a strong person. I’ll be interested in how it goes.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
Poteet, I’ve always been in awe of your strength: I have never been able to bring myself to look at DT very much. However, I have learned to look at MT and FW, so I figure with me it’s baby-steps, just baby-steps.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Man, they’re dropping like flies! Now Johnny Hart’s old partner on Wizard of Id, Brant Parker, has died.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
FBOFW – I don’t know which Patterson kid has the worse living situation:
1. Mike, in his parents’ house WITH ALL THEIR OLD STINKY CRAP;
2. Liz, in a DEPRESSING BASEMENT of an old house;
3. April, who at 16, doesn’t know where she’ll be living.
However, the parents seem to be doing okay, newly remodeled house with all new stuff. Even new sheets! These people… these people. I can’t even do a proper foob rant, they make me so mad.
April 20th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
oh my, hats off to all the contestants! but I must cast my vote for Kevin…so minimalist, so gil thorp!
but thanks to all of you for the biggest bellylaugh I’ve had in awhile :)
April 20th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
“Mark Trail once punched a man so hard his soul fell out. This is where ghosts come from.”
Thanks for that, Spectacular Spider-Brick!
April 20th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Mike and Liz, I got little sympathy for. I mean, they’re adults. They should be able to take care of themselves. April on the other hand–April is clearly the most warped of the three Patterson children, maintaining many of the traits of childhood well into adolescence, just like Marvin, except Marvin has the excuse that he’s a perpetual infant. I fully expect to open the newspaper one day and see that April has been arrested in California after a botched attempt at kidnapping and murdering the now-prosperous Becky. She will be in possession of a BB gun, a hammer, a folding knife, rubber tubing, and several plastic bags. For that long drive from the wilds of Ontario, she’ll also be wearing diapers.
Also just like Marvin.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
OT and not in some LSD-soaked “Have you ever really LOOKED at your hand?” sense, but … uh .. have you ever really LOOKED at Marvin? Especially lately?
It’s by far the most hellish, oppresive, unsettling comic in existence. Marvin’s been a baby for 50 years. His parents use his formula in their coffee. his fellow Babimmortals wear diapers on their heads. And if anyone says it’s not a wonderful life … out to the cornfield they go.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Hey Josh, I just read your latest “Cartoon Violence” column over at Wonkette. The Dutch cartoon with Putin as a blood-soaked gun-carrying waiter made me think, “Shit, they make him look like a badass mofo.” And then I followed up, “Just like Cedric the Butler.”
Ah sweet synergy.
April 20th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Also OT, but I officially like Funky Winkerbean again. It’s got an online webcomic feel to it I had been avoiding acknowledging. It’s no “something positive” or “sorcery 101″ but you know what? it’s not bad.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:00 pm
#113 Poteet, my Queen! – I imagine His Illustriousness Pope Josh will pick the winner, but I’m hoping by naming our favorite and backing our choice with explanation will help sway his opinion.
#83 & 84 John – You… you just don’t get it, do you?
#116 AppleGirl – Now try imagining any of those people as your actual neighbors. Gah, gives me the willies just to think it.
I think the Spiderman Non-Action Figure should come equipped with two cars, which have Spidey’s webs attached one to each roof and him sitting between them on his ass. THAT’S the highest thing on the California freeways he’s got to swing between, since all the palm trees are dying off. But maybe that can be his traveling set.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
# 114 — But baby steps in the most fabulous shoe collection on earth, AppleGirl, and probably one of the most fabulous in the galaxy. Your mutually beneficent relationship with our Galactic Overlord is impressive to many of us.
And thanks for your analysis of the Patterson family. I hadn’t thought of it this way before, but their lives make my life look good. Damn good. I still loathe them, but suddenly I feel kinda cheery.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
# 122 — Sir Fable, my True Knight, I see your point. And you made a good case for Kevin.
I don’t follow Spiderman, but from what you say, it sounds like a downer. Is the point of the strip that even a superhero can’t accomplish anything in L.A. without a really good agent?
April 20th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
It’s a shame Gerald Ford passed away, he’d have made a great contestant. Maybe Chevy Chase can fill in for him.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
Who taketh the name of FLOYD in vain?
Prepare to meet thy match!
April 20th, 2007 at 9:10 pm
The high bid on the Tyler action figure (the orange among the shiny apples) is $20. Email me to bid; see here for the latest high bid.
So as not to clog the internet tubes or CC comments with this info, I’ll set up my name as a link to the bid page.
A difficult choice, but I gotta vote for Kevin!
April 20th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
S4th Hilary, you may think Aunt Jackie is cool, but maybe you didn’t notice the dish towel you’re using was the hideous shawl she was wearing yesterday. Yes, I’m afraid it’s true: Aunt Jackie is a closet Plugger.
FW Tom, stop giving ugly characters close-ups. Give them far-aways.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Mr. Booth. I would very much like a Kelrastron 2006 Transformer action figure with the 750 ml. grip. It would make the slow days of bootblacking go by a lot quicker! I woud LIKE IT A LOT.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
# 127 — Dean, while I appreciate your consideration in not wanting to clog the tubes with info about the bidding, I’d be interested in an occasional update. And I do think it’s generous of you to donate your Tyler to such a good cause. He looks a lot more intelligent than the original.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
(Looks like another text message from Liz FOOB…)
Hi, Warren (peace)! Rmmd fbofw. (Dt)gt except clambake BBailey BBlues. Curses upon you, mw jp fc. S-m, fw tragedy disease; a3g! S4th sfox… ns h&l. WoI bc gf. RiR mg&g hth RwO gh sp GEC (r) ™ (c) swt ppps. Obh CC DtM 9cwl mf $$$$ pc. mz, m! M!/B!/S! ft h&j ds UL sqlud sfw nsfw dingo jf ft GT(e) m i c. k e y. m. o. u. s. e.
–Luv, Liz.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
(Liz again…)
Warren, I forgot 2 add: tdiet
I’ll do that every time!
–Liz (END TRANSMISSION!)
April 20th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Chorus:
June Morgan, You’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, June Morgan, June Morgan
June Morgan, You’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, June Morgan, June Morgan
June Morgan, You’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, June Morgan, June Morgan
You’re a naughty little nurse, and that is so appealing. You wear leather, whips and chains, with blouses so revealing. When you dominate the men, you always leave them squealing.
Why can’t we go roadside June?
When Chennux shoots his cannon, will you protect the earth
With your buns of steel and boobs of ample girth?
Or will we die June, die June,
Don’t let us fry, June
Refrain:
June Morgan, on the couch shouting her demands
“When you’re through with the garage,
You can clean my pots and pans.
June Morgan, you’re so pretty barking your commands
“More grapes, mule! Massage my feet and hands!â€
(Chorus)
(Refrain 3X)
I wanted to add something about turning in to a Romulan while waiting in line at the DMV to get her license. Gotta go get ready for bed. Nice pictures, Josh. My vote is for Kevin. Maybe pibporn and RMMD can merge and create an awesome June Morgan character…like something out of Sin City.
April 20th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
#129 Red, Is that clucking I hear in the background? Are you suggesting that MAGMACANNONs are useless against you?
April 20th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Josh, SO much going on at Mary Worth this week. Aren’t you ever going to comment on her smugness, her persistence, her complete victory over Vera?
April 20th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Why is everyone obsessing about June’s breasts in Rex Morgan? Don’t any of you read Zits?? How does Jeremy’s mom get her sweaters to tuck up under her boobs like that? The strip gives me the creeps, yet I can’t look away!
April 20th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Holy schamoly, those are awesome.
April 20th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
MT- Wow! The inertia dampers are off at Mary’s apartment today! She’s two feet off the floor as she floats over with the pie, and Vera floats to the top of the chair as she eats it. Did anybody else notice? It scares me a little.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070420&name=Mary_Worth
April 20th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
#133 – what’s the tune?
Speaking of tunes, I mentioned some time ago that I was recording gh’s “Imagine” for a contest, and I just got finished putting it together. Behold.
Apologies for the crappy mic, my inexperience recording vocals, and my so-so John Lennon imitation. Next time I hope to be much better. And hey, maybe I’ll inspire someone else to take a shot at those parodies that have been floating around here so long!
April 20th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Would the dance instructor at Milford High be Twyla Thorp?
April 20th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
139: I believe it is 80’s pop hit “Ricky”, once really well covered by Weird Al Yankovic doing it as Lucy Ricardo.
No relation to “Mr. Rickey”, I’m afraid.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
#141, Moon Mullins,
Actually, “Ricky” was just the name of Weird Al’s parody. The original song was called “Mickey.” Recorded by actress/singer/choreographer Toni Basil, who was about 40 at the time.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
MW: …So of all the bizarre, half-complete, unexplained thoughts Vera has ever uttered, Mary chooses to glom onto “nanny” as the one weird thing Vera’s said all evening? I officially hate everyone in this strip.
FBoFW: Oh, Lynn. It’s like you don’t hear people talk, ever.
TDIET: Scadutowood: where the most attractive Hollywood leading man looks almost exactly like his agent.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Tats: “FBoFW: Oh, Lynn. It’s like you don’t hear people talk, ever.”
hee hee. yeah. yeah, it is.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
SIT DOWN, MITZI AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT. I HAVE TO SEND ANOTHER EPISTLE TO (THIS ARM OF THE) GALACTIC “EMPEROR” chennux.
AND SPELL-CHECK IT THIS TIME, MITZI, OKAY?
HMMM. LEMME SEE.
“ATTENTIION chennux!!! PUCKER YOUR PRIVATES IN ABJECT HORROR AS I PASS ALONG THIS MESSAGE FROM UNIVERSAL OVERLORD FLOYD!
“chenny, YOUR EXPENSE REPORTS ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND! 6845 PAIRS OF SHOES? INCLUDING A SPARKLY PAIR OF SIZE 46-VVVVV PUMPS WITH A NOTATION “FOR IOWA PORK QUEEN COMPETITION?!” WHEN I APPOINTED YOU AS DE FACTO CARETAKER OF THAT “ARM OF THE GALAXY,” (A BACKWATER OUTPOST SELECTED TO KEEP YOU AWAY FROM OFFICIAL UNIVERSAL BUSINESS … AND YOUR SKRIXITORT IN YOUR BRITCHES FOR A CHANGE), YOU WERE GIVEN A BUDGET!
“I HAVE ASSIGNED MY LOYAL AND MOST TRUSTED CONFIDANT MONKEYHAWK TO COMMENCE A FULL-SCALE AUDIT OF YOUR EXPENDITURES, chennux.
“I HOPE YOUR BOOKS ARE IN ORDER AND YOU HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE SERIOUS POTATO DEFICIT YOU SEEM TO HAVE GENERATED DURING YOUR SHORT ASSIGNMENT.”
SIGN IT FLOYD, UNIVERSAL OVERLORD AND ADD MY SEAL. NO, DAMNIT, MITZI, NOT THE SEA LION! THE SEAL!!!
AND PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON.
April 20th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
FBoFW: Does Elly have Alzheimer’s or something or she just a stubborn old dimwit? Here she is in the process of moving and Liz has to explain that fact to her. She’s nearly as dim as Brad from…
Luann: Did she leave the glove behind on purpose? Of course she did, you stupid prick! Quit taking advice from the fuck-up fairy, TJ, while you’re at it. Also, quit picking on your sister, jackass.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:13 am
Luann: It took a while, but even I am officially fed up with the Toni-Dirk-Brad love triangle. We just spent an entire week for this (non) payoff? Advance the plot already, Evans!
April 21st, 2007 at 12:22 am
MT: “I left them in the hands of the insurance investigators” What? Have we missed a week’s worth of strips here?
April 21st, 2007 at 12:30 am
“Straightening out?” I’m not so sure that’s what Mister Yancey did to the third baseman unless tying a boy to a fence and sodomizing him with a bat is called straightening out by the kids these days.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:35 am
DT — When I first saw the 4/21 strip and my eye caught the third panel, I had a sudden wild hope that Dick and Queen of Diamonds were having sex. But no, they’re still busy with the never-ending Riverdance Kickboxing Gun-Vanished Contest, and it looks like the ginormous glittering diamond, by far the most appealing DT character, may be about to drown. Damn.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:39 am
# 150 — And yes, they would have been having sex with their pants and shoes on, but I’m getting desperate. If I could find the damn handgun, I might shoot them myself.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:39 am
I’d like to add my own applause for all the talented (and very flexible) contestants.
And John, #’s 83 & 84-please go back to huddling under your bridge, ok? We’ll send a few goats your way.
MonkeyHawk–aahh, MonkeyHawk, MonkeyHawk, MonkeyHawk. I’m gonna miss you. In the past, I’ve put in several pleas for clemency on your behalf with the big scaly green guy, but I just don’t dare anymore. I’m really, really sorry, Monk, but the last few magmacannon blasts were just a little too close for comfort. And if you have such an unrelenting determination to commit fiery suicide, well, I guess there’s nothing left for me to do but get out of your way. (sniff) Farewell, MonkeyHawk. We won’t forget you. And whenever we think on your glorious, incendiary end, shouting defiance with your last breath, we will once more give thanks that we were smart enough to get under the boulder first.
BTW, Monk, would you like your Darwin award placed on your grave, or do you want us to present it to your alma mater, or your family?
April 21st, 2007 at 12:41 am
88 – Uncle Lumpy, the Baldo April 1 strip is discussed in depth on their website. Scroll down to Tuesday, April 3rd for the creators’ take on the April Fools strip, plus lots of comments from their readers.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:43 am
# 151 — Just to wound them a little bit. Just to advance the plot. Such as it is.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:47 am
4/21 on the comics page:
Mary Worth: Mary’s patience with Vera seems to be running out. Now she’s threatening to punch Vera with her giant man-fist!
Spider-Man: Maybe Weasel can be Spider-Man’s sidekick from this point forward! He still has one good arm, he can change channels for Spidey!
A3G: LuAnn’s brain is used to not getting enough oxygen, which is why she’s managed to survive for over a month in a studio full of toxic paint fumes. But now it seems that our long wait may be at an end: if we’re lucky, she’ll die and we’ll get to see how Margo plans a funeral!
April 21st, 2007 at 12:48 am
431p!
1m 3eing 431d 40s+ag3 by g.e.c. & /=0rc3d +0 d0 +0nz of vv0rk!
G.C.M.P.
431p m3!
April 21st, 2007 at 12:57 am
I’m still waiting for the CHENNUX action figure, with exciting RAVENOUS UPPERCASE action. It’s got to beat my Jane Austen action figure with exciting quill pen action.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:07 am
4/21:
9CL: Well, that cements it: Thorax is the true far-left version of the far-right drunken duck.
While PC (if the drawing was a tad tightened) is pretty good this time ’round, like the better Danae strips.
FOOB: …So, at that point, Elly Patterson literally dried into a fine powder and blew away, dispursing into empty air.
(DT)GT: Caption: “…until Rick Bozich belts a 2-run double” Marty Moon: “…a big double by Rick Bozich…” Thank you, professor Redundant. Meanwhile, Clambake’s back. First he was black, then he was white, now he’s literally black! Next week, he’ll be the only character in colorized comics with no skintone at all.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:14 am
#156: Is the Emperor in the art closet with LuAnn on A3G or something?
April 21st, 2007 at 1:27 am
#159 — Mibbitmaker:
From what I’m told, the “Emperor” is in a closet of some sort.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:27 am
The BIG FOUR:
MW You’ve been used, Vera, just like a debutant slumming at a roadside bar; like a cheerleader behind her first bleacher; like the geeky heir to the family fortune. You believe Mary is kind (HA!) and a good cook (the Bum Boat now delivers!) but what you don’t know, is that now she has a hint about what ticks your clock, she will cast you aside like…like Ella or Aldo.
You are of no further use to her now, Plebe. Re-assume The Position.
RMMD What communication? This is Rex and June, after all.
JP Cedric’s odd hand position means he is either going to pose for a “Hey, kids! Make money selling Grit papers!” advertisement, or he’s one hell of a professional yodeler.
MT All this needed was a roll of credits in the last panel. And the last rites.
Monday we’ll have an-all new action packed, Fists o’ Justice story! What kind of animal will be misunderstood this time? How will an old acquaintance of Mark’s screw him over? Will Kelly Welly return to offer Mark her own beaver pelt? This and more, on: Mark Trail, DANGER MAN!!!
April 21st, 2007 at 1:31 am
#159 (me): That’s “in A3G”. Posters in glass houses…
More 4/21:
A3G: Looks like it’s Susan-licking-envelopes-on- “Seinfeld” time for ol’ LuAnn in the art closet.
FC: Yeah, but how are you going to bury an entire car in the back yard?
MT: Rusty asked Mark’s elbow a question, and it replied.
MW: If only the first panel were used from there, it’d be followed up with the caption: “After that, Mary never saw Vera again.” Panel 2: I wanted to say something pissy about Mare being the worst gossip-monger ever, but with her expression thinking about how “revealing” it was, it seems like Vera undressed naked in front of the old crone between Friday and Saturday.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:38 am
Did I see in a previous thread that the Thorpian Universe town of Milford is actually supposed to be Milford, CT? Because I actually kinda grew up there. We moved around a lot, but I’d say we lived in Milford longer than anywhere else, about seven years. I don’t remember it being that bizarre, but I haven’t been back in twenty years or more, so I have no idea what’s happened since. Now I’m scared to go down there to see.
For anybody that does happen to venture there, go check out Charles Island. You can actually walk out there on a hundred-plus year old causeway, at low tide. About thirty years ago, there were a few ruins still standing on the island, from either a rich robber baron’s little island retreat, or an old monastery, stories varied. Also, the elementary school I attended was called “Calf Pen Meadow School” because local legend had it that when one of the more famous pirates of the day (Captain Kidd, I think) was terrorizing the area, the locals rounded up all their livestock and hid the critters in this meadow where they wouldn’t be found and stolen.
Ahh, childhood memories. I don’t recall anyone engaging in the ancient and honorable sports of “head-pulling” or “barkstick-bashing”, though. Must have been on the other side of town.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:46 am
Next on Apartment 3G…
LuAnn drifts further until she sees the ghost of the artist again. “Oh, what pearls of wisdom do you have for me today, spirit of Albert?” To which he replied, “I’m not a damn ghost, you moron! I’m a friggin’ hallucination! I never even painted the SLOP you’re doing there, Rembrant! You’re just slowly dying of paint fumes, sister, so good ridance already!”, adding under his breath, “I’ve had smarter conversations with a beanbag chair.”
LuAnn’s last words: “Nobody… likes…a… wiseguy… ghost……..”
April 21st, 2007 at 2:20 am
MT Yesterday, June sat coyly curled up on the couch wearing capris.
Today, those capris appear to have magically transformed into a long skirt.
Those breasts are more powerful than I realized!
April 21st, 2007 at 2:22 am
MW Mary thinks “And revealing.” Apparently, she and Vera didn’t wear pants throughout dinner. Well, I guess it does make an otherwise total borefest interesting, at least.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:25 am
145 – Monkeyhawk – It’s already been established that the 6845 pairs of shoes were a totally legitimate entertainment expense. I have all the receipts in my storage garage in Temecula.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:35 am
To whoever suggested it, here are the most illustrative photos I have on hand. This one (recent) and this one (from when I had long hair). Enjoy!
April 21st, 2007 at 2:36 am
Anonymous?! That’s me above. Grumble grumble…
April 21st, 2007 at 2:51 am
122 – True Fable – I did have those FOOB people as neighbors, back in NoVA. Rude, noisy, and their kids could do no wrong. The great thing about having such miserable neighbors was that it sure motivated me to get out of the house and go for my workout every day. As a result, I’ve never been in better shape in my entire life. (Right, Emperor? Text me!)
123 – Poteet – I know, huh. I’ll never complain about my pathetic life again. I’m no geologist, but I can afford a nice apartment that’s not in the basement of an old house!
April 21st, 2007 at 2:54 am
Aunt Fritzi bulletins:
http://www.comics.com/comics/nancy/archive/nancy-20070415.html
http://www.comics.com/comics/nancy/archive/nancy-20070411.html
April 21st, 2007 at 3:10 am
A3G I can see the way the ether’s blowing here. Luann will come to the brink of death from fumeage, only to be saved by *TA DA!* Alan. Oh, of course it won’t last but here’s the thing that disturbs me: People she lives with day in and day out have been ignoring her this whole time, or intending to drop in on her but change their mind at the last minute due to shiny objects or in Margo’s case, horniness. Yet a part-timer and short-timer is probably going to be the one to save the Blonde Bean Brain. That is, if he’ll ever quit waffling and go see her. “I’ll go see her – no I won’t! – oh I will because I love her! – but she doesn’t love me because I am Walking Unworthy Shit! – But there might be a chance! – No, there won’t! – Who am I talking to? – Who wants to know? – ”
Meanwhile, Albert Pinkham Ryder’s been putting the moves on the spirit of Sheilaugh Shaunnasy, and they have been plotting to get Michael Patterson to write the autobiography of a suicidal writer.
Yeah.
April 21st, 2007 at 3:12 am
First off- great contributions, and Dean the figure really impressed me.
#86 – O’Fogeyette – “Also got rid of Baldo. I agree it has no charm when drawn in the regular way.”
I’m in absolute agreement as well, was taking it off my list after a few days of the “regular”.
FBOFW: It’s all so seamless in Mike’s coma world, but where’s April in her drag-queen mode, not her leaf-rakin’ ensemble accenting the Foob-Spread.
Anyway, it’s obvious Mike has enlisted or just confused Liz and April as he recently does, because these lines from Mike’s script today were April’s, she should have delivered the “insights-with-blunt-instrument” mode. Liz sounds like the temp.security guard of Mike’s new house, sort of informally “informing” Mom, hey, your lease is UP old lady, you got the memo, now MOVE.
Where’s Mike meanwhile: AT THE BANK.MONEY
…MIKE HAS 25,000!!! REMEMBER…
“Dad cleaning out his workshop” – is that what they call it in Canada?
April 21st, 2007 at 3:23 am
#173 Lynngineering – Sounds like Mike knows that John has realized he needs to empty out his workshop’s gay porn collection before anyone finds it during the move. He’ll wonder why he doesn’t recognize some of it, never suspecting that it is what Mike added to the collection, when he found it years ago.
April 21st, 2007 at 5:25 am
Chiming in late here to say these entries are all awsomeriffic, as Bloo would say.
RMMD: There’s nothing more riveting than a 3-panel comic strip about cell phone interference.
April 21st, 2007 at 6:08 am
So, has anyone seen Gadge lately? Y’know, the ol’ Mole Preener? It’s almost like he’s disappeared, like off the face of the Earth or somethin’. I tried texting him on his mobile at ‘2fs 431p’ but got only static and the aroma of baking
gcmp, wr r u @ gec?potatoes…April 21st, 2007 at 6:37 am
ATTENTION EARTHERS! CRINGE, CLENCH, TREMBLE, ETC! IT’S THE [MARGO]ING WEEKEND, FER MELKAR’S SAKE! SMOKE ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM!
THE BEING FORMERLY KNOWN AS MONKEYHAWK! IN YOUR BOGUS LITTLE HOLLY HOBBY WORLD, YOU CAN’T EVEN RUN SPELLCHECK? IT’S ‘ATTENTION’ NOT “ATTENTIION!” AND IT’S ‘SKXCRITORT, NOT “SKRIXITORT!” AND YOU CONTINUE TO LISTEN TO FLOYD THE JESTER??? MARGOBOXCARSATURN! BLAT! WARM UP THE MEGAMAGMACANNON! AND SET IT TO ROCKCHALKMONKEYHAWK!
TO THE ONE CALLED APPLEGIRL! THERE’S A SALE IN THE SIXTH DIMENSION THIS WEEKEND! SHOULD I SEND A SHUTTLE?
TO THE ONE CALLED NON-SHANNON! ANON #168 SEEMS TO HAVE STOLEN YOUR IDENTITY! AND YOUR SWEATER PUPPIES! FIE UPON HER!
BTW! THERE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN UNAUTHORIZED COMMUNICATION FROM MY FLAGSHIP AROUND EARTHER ZULU+7 STANDARD! IF YOU RECEIVED ONE, IT WAS IN ERROR! DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY! HAHA!
END TRANSMISSION!
April 21st, 2007 at 6:42 am
Gadge !!! ( #156 ) – we’d all be glad to help you in a heart beat but it is clear no one on the site speaks L33T.
Try again using the FBOFW texting method…but take care not to injure your thumbs
April 21st, 2007 at 6:46 am
One of the things I admired about FBOFW, once upon a time, was the artwork. With the Saturday strip though, I think Johnston has reached a new low.
I am in my fifties now, and people tell me I am looking more and more like my mother, who is nearly eighty. I have to agree with them, and I don’t really mind the resemblance. But I certainly did not look much like my mother when I was in my twenties and she was in her fifties! I looked a lot YOUNGER than she did then, and I had a YOUTHFUL HAIRSTYLE!! In the Saturday FOOB, you can barely tell Elizabeth and her mother apart!! Why in God’s name does Johnston insist on drawing BOTH of them to look middle-aged (or early elderly)?
I am snarking only on this aspect of FOOB today because I don’t even want to get started on the repulsive storyline or the disgusting characters. Lately, reading this comic only makes me feel tired and depressed.
April 21st, 2007 at 6:48 am
I miss Gadge Cubic in all his Mole Preening glory. :(
In the not-that-anyone-cares-for-snapshots-from Fable department,:my friends who used to Marco Polo Gadge Cubic’s s/n to locate each other in crowds, no longer utilize this method. Their wives got embarrassed and threatened to consign them to sleeping on the couch.
So the dirty dogs pointed at ME and said, “It’s all Fable’s fault!” Oh, sure. Blame it on the fifth wheel.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener! Come back, Shane! He’d make a perfect entry in the Tyler Is His Own Whack-A-Mole contest.
April 21st, 2007 at 6:56 am
Excuse me, stewardess, but… I speak 1337.
Galactic Emperor Chennux, you have no idea with whom you are dealing! Mole Preening is an exact science, you can’t just point your flipterboggit at a Preener and expect to work him to pieces. Now, you just let GC,MP go or, or else! Or else you won’t have the puny might of the Roopville Kid to get stuck between your teeth, by golly!
April 21st, 2007 at 7:18 am
To me, the most delightful aspect of today’s GT is not the baseball that causes a spark to fly whenever it hits something, although I do want one of those. No, it’s the young person of indeterminate gender in the last panel. Given the angle of his head, it’s clear that he’s leaning sideways just to get his head into the frame. Is he aware that he’s “on camera” here? All that’s missing is him saying, “Hi, mom!”
Also: Elmer Vargas?
In the interest of benig fair and balanced, however, I will say that the action poses struck by the outfielders in Panel 1 actually look realistic, in stark contrast to any basketball scene ever to appear in GT.
April 21st, 2007 at 7:49 am
MT – Who is talking in panel one? Is it Mark’s left elbow, the coffee pot or the plate of food?
Phantom – Mozz’s friend, the elephant rider is sporting a festive lampshade. Probably a resic from last night’s cast party celebrating the end of this story and the start of a new one. Party on, Mozz.
A3G – Luanne, you better open a window. The mineral spirits are getting to you. Either that or all the second hand smoke from Mozz’s cast party in the apartment one floor down.
April 21st, 2007 at 7:49 am
Today I’m fascinated by background characters. Who’s the old man in Mark Trail, whose face is barely visible? This is the first time he’s appeared all storyline.
But the real find for today is the red-haired man in Mary Worth’s first panel. That guy looks like he has an interesting backstory. I demand a week-long interrogation of him over semi-identifiable food!
April 21st, 2007 at 7:52 am
162 – MT… was it the elbow that answered? I thought it was the coffee pot, a long time friend of the talking spud
April 21st, 2007 at 8:00 am
MT: Oooo clear foreshadowing alert! The next “plot” will have something to do with shrinking heads– mark my words. In panel one, Mark’s head is normal and the same size as the woman in red, but by panel three it has shrunk to half the size of the dog’s head. Shades of Beetlejuice! Also the pan of cornbread has morphed into a large, flesh-colored softball. Softballs and shrinking heads. Will Mark stumble upon an intra-forest softball tournament played with the heads of missing campers? Will there be a very special guest appearance by Clambake?
April 21st, 2007 at 8:06 am
RMMD: How do you know you’re looking at the Saturday strips? Because someone at the RMMD studio had to get out of town by noon Friday to begin a long weekend. Instead of PLOT DEVELOPMENT, or AUGMENTED BREAST ARTWORK, the writer/artist have come up with a riveting CELLPHONE BREAKUP! Wow! I am breathless. Cancel the Pulitzer competition; we have a winner!
JP: Sung to the tune of ‘Theme for Super-Chicken:’
If you walk the streets of Paris
And by punks your butts are har-rassed
And all you have are pipes and nothing sub-tler,
In a tuxedo with his Luger
He’ll show up like a Freddy Kreuger,
Ceeeedric Super-Butler!
April 21st, 2007 at 8:09 am
The pics and the doll are hilarious and so much better than the drawing of Tyler!
#173 – Yes, in Canada it is cleaning out the workshop, always. There are severe punishments for referring to it otherwise.
And, a Tree House is always a Tree Fort (refer to BNL for more details).
April 21st, 2007 at 8:14 am
#184 – looks like John Bolton has moved into Charterstone, for sure. He now runs a Fence and Post business.
FOOB – these people are nuts.
Liz says the family is becoming uprooted-Jesus, stoopid, you’re the one who wanted out and you’re an adult (? not sure) so what do you care?
The last panel today could be the last ever, actually – Liz n’ Elly, morphed into 3 large buns (one on the head, two on the backside) for all eternity, worrying and flapping into infinity.
April 21st, 2007 at 8:40 am
RMMD: Because of the early release mistake we know that Rex is still on the phone with June on 4/27. I’m expecting a week of cell phone hillarity, with June going outside for better reception, changing to the land-line phone, etc.
FC: Mommy, this strip can imitate a vacuum cleaner.
GT: “Mr. Yancey”? I thought there was only one Mister in baseball. (While doing folder cleanup, I came across this old inspiration for Gil Thorp pic.)
MW: Apparently Mary’s apartment is on fire. Burn, biddy, burn!
April 21st, 2007 at 8:57 am
Yeah, Dean, Mary’s apt. might as well be on fire-it would be more exciting than this storyline.
So Biddy doesn’t care that Vera actually found it comforting to talk or listen or not work or whatever-she just wants to meddle!
Actually, June is a close second to Mary this week for Meddling kudos. Now if she can just get that damn cell phone connection to work…fire up those breasts into offensive mode again, woman!
April 21st, 2007 at 9:27 am
My choice for Self-Clubbing Tyler Lookalike is Kevin – mostly because I just saw the most recent Head On commercial this morning. Tree bark – Apply directly to the back of YOUR head.
Islamorada Girl – Sorry I missed your anniversary. I’m no good at baking cakes, but I’ve made you a lovely tuna casserole, Mary Worth-style. It’s grey, flat, and baked on a cookie sheet. Yum!
MW – Pretty sure the guy in Mary’s hall is actually the late Vincent Schiavelli in disguise. He used to wear hats to hide his Gil Thorpian forehead.
MT – Well THAT ended ubruptly, didn’t it?
RMMD – (gasp!) Rex’s phone is breaking up! How long will Nolan and Wilson keep up the suspense?!
FW – Crap, I can’t believe I’m still reading this!
JP – Are hand guns really that easy to get in Paris? Or is Cedric some sort of Canadian agent? Is butlering some sort of cover, or something he does on the side for pleasure? I guess he just enjoys butling…
April 21st, 2007 at 9:28 am
Wow, talk about thin skin: So I make two criticismsf, and I’m a “troll?” I LOVE this site. But you know what? I dont think that loving a site means that you cant offer some criticism. I check out CC every single day, and 99 times out of a hundred it makes me laugh. But when I see vacation photos offered by the site host, or photos like the ones posted today, I just shrug and move on.
What’s the matter with you people? Since when does criticism make someone a “troll?”
April 21st, 2007 at 9:28 am
#180 true fable – “He’d make a perfect entry in the Tyler Is His Own Whack-A-Mole contest.”
pity he’s not from further north, then he could do whack-a-mole-eh … best steer clear of the avacado avenger for a little while, i think. maybe everyone else on the site, too.
but i wholeheartedly endorse the gadge sentiments. please present your moles for inspection forthwith, mr cubic. we miss them. perhaps he’s been busy on the european boat wrestling circuit.
April 21st, 2007 at 9:34 am
I saw this and immediately thought of my fellow snarkers. On David Letterman’s website, there is a Top Ten List contest every week. This week’s topic is Top Ten Signs Spiderman Just Doesn’t Care Anymore. Go nuts, guys.
April 21st, 2007 at 9:37 am
A3G – “… my thoughts are so tangled … lights are flashing before my eyes … floor is moving beneath my feet.”
luann, dear, i do believe you’re having yourself an orgasm. congratulations!
just don’t tell margo. naturally, she’s under the impression that she’s the only person on the planet that’s experienced this thing. and she wouldn’t understand that it doesn’t usually involve blood and other peoples’ tears.
April 21st, 2007 at 9:54 am
The glove The GLOVE! Greg, we men are constantly berated for our cluelessness but you win the prize. A hot babe brings bananas and dip to your place. She comments on the size of your… bed. She leaves her glove. Someone’s wanting you to gadge cubic her, you mole preener.
April 21st, 2007 at 10:15 am
The last panel of today’s GT shows definite Fellini influence. Come to think of it, that explains why Milford seems to be so full of freaks.
April 21st, 2007 at 10:22 am
I know it’s been said already, but…
FOOB – OMGWTFBBQ! Why the hell do Liz and Elly look exactly alike? Besides, isn’t it Michael who’s supposed to be the one cloning his parents’ life?
April 21st, 2007 at 10:25 am
hey, where’d everyone go? you all off watching Lone Wolf and Cub – Baby Cart 6: Go to Hell, Daigoro! too? ok, can’t blame ya’s for that.
April 21st, 2007 at 10:28 am
#163 skulking on the outskirts — you realize Milford, CT, is also the home of TDIET’s Al Scaduto?
And everyone: is it just me, or does the guy in the first panel of Dick Tracy resemble Cary Grant in his later years?
April 21st, 2007 at 10:34 am
Did anyone else notice that both “Adam at Home” and “FC” used the phrase “purring like a kitten” today? Coincidence…. or conspiracy?
#106 Uncle Lumpy: thanks for explaining about the immigration bust. That was before I started following the strip. I actually didn’t give it too much time. It was just too boring.
#113 Poteet: Thanks for your concern. I haven’t read my online strips today, and it may be the the combination of DTGT and DT will indeed fry my brain. Speaking of DTGT, last night we went to a Pac-10 women’s softball game, and the opposing team had really ugly uniforms that kind of distorted their bodies, and a couple of players were sort of androgynous looking, and, well…. I kept thinking of GT all night! But we won anyway.
April 21st, 2007 at 10:44 am
You’re right John. You’re totally wasting all the money you spend on CC when Josh wastes your internet with photos. And he does it ALL THE TIME. Why can’t he go back to comic snarking?
Also, it’s apparent that nobody enjoyed the pictures. Obviously Josh had a big swing and whiff with this one!
April 21st, 2007 at 10:45 am
DT: OMG! In my new subscription, DTGT and DT are right next to each other, so I read first one and then the other. So far, I don’t think it has caused brain damage; but my reaction to DT was to laugh, because the “art” is so ludicrous. Also, if they are really at the “Desert Diamond” casino, which is in Tucson, AZ, they have brought their own body of water with them for that yacht to be floating in.
JP: Cedric just gets cooler and cooler. He didn’t even muss his hot outfit while subduing the criminals. I hope Abbey falls in love with him.
MT: Worst. Storytelling. Ever. The next plot had better involve an adorable animal.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:02 am
O’Fogeyette, don’t forget that Tess Trueheart, Mr. Tracy’s wife, once took an art class and was so good making her first painting – a replica of Grant Wood’s American Gothic – that it was placed in the Art Institute of Chicago one night and the real painting taken by a crafty art teacher/burglar and no one noticed except Tess.
The next episode of Mark Trail had better involve someone getting an enema: either Mark, Cherry, Rusty or Molly. And I want one of the beavers to give it to them.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:07 am
MG&G was jaw-droppingly awesome today. Wahoo!
Rhymes with Orange was amusing.
Ishmael adds + 1/2 to Lio’s squid count.
Blondie: but Marmaduke isnt a harlequin. Must be some other very big dog in panel 3.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:10 am
John, I think if you stick around, the “troll” perception will pass. Pass like a stone it will.
But I like the photos. They’re a little edgy, maybe the intimacy and the emotional nakedness is a little discomfiting. But sometimes art hurts, you know?
April 21st, 2007 at 11:12 am
oh MAN! this is the best thing, in like, ever!!!! i even showed my mom, who was kinda lke, “umm… why is this funny?” BUT IT IS!!!!! it really and truly is… thank you folks, for making this a wikkid day. :)
April 21st, 2007 at 11:19 am
I guess the only way to tell Lizzy and her Ma apart, is that Ma has a bigger honkin’ schnozz than the whiney whelp. That’s the only difference I can see.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:25 am
A3G: Dammit, Luann. I told you to stay away from the brown acid.
FW: Yay! I’m going to drive a wedge between the people who’ve loved my boyfriend since birth and raised him as their own son. I’ve ruined a family today! Yay!
(DT)GT: Oh, Gil. Whatever Clamback did to Sta-Puft, he didn’t “straighten him out.”
HotC: And fat. Don’t forget fat. You’re ugly too. Don’t rush to grow up, kid.
MW: Could it be? Nah, it can’t be him. There is a certain familiarity to that squirrely moustache, but he’s dead. Isn’t he?
Pluggers: Ha-ha. It’s funny because his body is breaking down beneath his grotesque obesity and soon he’ll be bed-ridden and alone.
April 21st, 2007 at 11:39 am
#209. The nose, and the fact that Elly apparently is stricken with post-menopausal lip-loss syndrome. Every foob knows that estrogen produces full lips! (well, that’s my explanation for the lips o’ loveliness, anyway)
April 21st, 2007 at 11:54 am
161 Mibbit, 187 Wille:
Grit and SuperChicken. Two laugh-out-louders.
There still are benefits to having been alive during the 60’s.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:13 pm
This is, without a doubt, the most awesomest thing ever…
April 21st, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I agree. It’s the most awesomest thing ever…whatever it is.
April 21st, 2007 at 12:27 pm
It’s so awesome, Mark Trail is gonna punch the hell out of it
April 21st, 2007 at 1:01 pm
It’s so awesome, I just hit myself in the head with a barky stick!
April 21st, 2007 at 1:07 pm
MW – I am heartened by the appearance of a stalker in panel one. My theory on Vera: VON is her husband in Pacific Cliffs, he’s leading a double life and goes by the name GARY DENT at Charterstone.
Chennux – Yes! Send the shuttle! Nothing going on here in Irvine. And I need a new swimsuit or two. I’ll be ready in 30 minutes.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:23 pm
(DT)GT – I’ve always assumed Marty Moon’s head set isn’t connected to anything and he just wears it to High School sporting events and chatters on and on about the game while other spectators try to avoid sitting next to him. Honestly, who broadcasts HS baseball game openers?
April 21st, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Pluggers – Hasn’t Reed Hoover of Dallas, TX already contributed to Pluggers?
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/4/14&name=Pluggers
No wonder we can’t get a CC’rs entry into this strip. Brookins uses the same ol’ ringers.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:27 pm
FC: Why is Dad working on Mark Trail’s car?
April 21st, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Kevin! And not just because he’s a friend. Mainly because I introduced him to this site so I get to bask in his reflected glory.
#101/SecretMargo – Unless Margo has more secrets than even we suspect, he’s playing for the other team. And not in a (DT)GT sports-related meaning. More in a (DT)GT homoerotic metaphorical meaning.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:49 pm
62, 79: Now, it has been revealed for all to know.
Mitzi and her shirt rule the Universe.
April 21st, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Johnnycakes, I really thought my form-fitting Deisel zippered jacket made my orientation pretty clear, but alway nice to be outed! I’m just relieved you weren’t that other “John” who apparently thinks Josh should work in a sweat shop, without any vacation photos, contests, etc. Why didn’t he just write “More curmudgeoning, mule!”
April 21st, 2007 at 1:50 pm
The (DT)GT Director stops ‘filming’ at panel 3.
Director:“Hey! HEY!! Cut that out, M Boy! You ruined the shot! (to himself) You just can’t get good extras these days!”
M Boy: “Hey, cooool, there’s people looking at us. Heh, 5 of them are retching! Huh-huh-huh-huh!”
April 21st, 2007 at 1:53 pm
I have to ask this. I can’t take it any more. Why do people refer to Gil Thorpe as (DT)GT? I have tried to figure it out on my own. Thanks. By the way, Thorpe is my middle name, so that’s how I’m gonna spell it.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:07 pm
[Death to] Gil Thorp.
As in I declared a fatwah on him about two years ago.
Thank you.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
194 John
I, for one, want to appoligize to you for snarking on your complaining. Go right ahead and gripe away. Criticize the hell out of the site. It makes for such an entertaining read and contributes to the general fun of the comments section. Enjoy your stay here at Comics Curmudgeon. Or not. Your choice.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Mark Trail
to the melody of ‘Jet Song’ from “West Side Story”
Snake: (Spoken) Against Mark Trail we need every man we got.
Jake: (Spoken) Those beavers don’t belong anymore.
Sally: Cut it, Jake. Beavers never belonged ’round Mark Trail. ‘nuf said.
Cherry: He acts like he wants it but then it’s like it doesn’t belong.
Rusty: Who wants beavers around? Well, who?
Cherry: Mark ain’t looked at my beaver for over a month.
Sally: Want me to clobber that beaver for ya?
Jake & Snake: We’ll clobber your beaver, Cherry!
Grumpy: Women. There’s a fine kettle o’ fish.
All: Ewww!
Rusty: Look out! Here comes Mark!
Mark Trail: (Sings)
When you’re Mark Trail,
You’re Mark Trail all the way
From the edge of Lo-Fo
To the great Hudson Bay
When you’re Mark Trail
You can hit Diver Dan
You can spin him around
And fuck him in the can!
You’re never alone,
You’ve got friends, well by golly
From the ubiquiducks
To the shape-changing Molly!
When you’re Mark Trail
With a capital T,
You can do what you want
Go outdoors for a pee!
When you’re Mark Trail,
You can do it with glee!
Rusty: (Spoken) Once Mark asked me if I’d like a golden shower. I thought it had somethin’ t’do with stuff in the sky.
Sally: Did it?
Rusty: Let’s just say there was a cock on the wing.
All: (Sing)
When you’re Mark Trail you don’t look for romance
And you don’t give a damn when the looks are askance
‘Cuz the forest supplies you with all that you need
From the food for your plate to the playmates you breed
And though the chicks dig you, ubiquiducks spy,
It’s those sweet hirsute woodsmen that catch Mark Trail’s eye!
Dan: (Spoken) Hey. Cool. Easy. Sweet. I was in the Army before meeting Sally. I can bear down on a cock like an anaconda with a sucklin’ pig.
Cherry: You’re in luck. Mark is a thoughtless, little pig.
Rusty: Ain’t that little, Cherry… if y’get it hard.
All: (Sing)
When you’re Mark Trail
Your the biggest dick yet
If you’re questioned ’bout it
Say it’s just sobriquet
When you’re Mark Trail
Your right hook gets its way
Any sweet little ass
Can serve you as your quay
Don’t even think to call a ranger
Mark Trail can smell your sense of danger
His right hook is in gear
His cylinders are clickin’!
Sweet patoots steer clear
He loves an ass that chicken!
Yeah!
April 21st, 2007 at 2:25 pm
#153: Christ, I’ve read a lot of threads, but I’ve never seen people so allergic to constructive criticism. So I’ll leave you and the rest to sit in the church of CC, ready to pounce on anyone who offers even the slightest criticism of your beloved site. You guys desperately need lives- and an extra coating of skin.
I bet you didnt even READ the criticisms, you just smelled “not worshipful enough” and thought “troll.”
April 21st, 2007 at 2:45 pm
What the fuck was constructive about it? Go reread your post and tell me how that was anything but an attempt to get a rise out of people.
HURF BURF YOU PEOPLE THINK YOUR SO CLEVER I’LL SHOW THEM YOUR NOT EVEN FUNNY GARGLE BARGLE.
Dude, you can dish it but definitely can’t take it. I’ve been trolled by better.
April 21st, 2007 at 2:55 pm
#230 John: People did read your complaints. The problem was, you were comparing solicited contest photos that people obviously spent a lot of time and effort on to someone merely putting up vacation photos on his personal blog. It was an insulting comparison about something those of us here really enjoyed and appreciated.
About your other complaint, here’s a hint: many ideas in CC originate out of the comments section. If you see another comic you don’t feel is represented here, post a snark about it with a link.
But just griping about things you obviously don’t understand and not having anything positive to offer — that makes you, I’m sorry — a troll.
April 21st, 2007 at 3:20 pm
232 Moon Mullins
Thanks for the link! Now I know what we’re talking about. Who’s the bigger fool, the troll or the trolled? I’m not sure. I hope its the troll, though.
April 21st, 2007 at 5:26 pm
202 – Must be the glasses and the ever-present tuxedo (ubiquitux?) – but Grant’s face never got that saggy…I’m thinking Michael Caine, who admits a chronological running of his films looks like his face is melting.
April 22nd, 2007 at 12:59 am
202, Skullturf–no, I did not know that. Dear God, this could explain a lot about my childhood.
On another topic, I note that the Wikipedia entry on trolls (thanks for the link, Moon Mullins!) indicates that the whole purpose of trolling is to provoke response, presumably for the troll’s amusement. So I guess the best response (from our POV) would be no response.
I hate to admit it, but I never notice anyone is MIA until someone else points it out. (So many great snarkers, so little time!) So yeah, where the hell is GCMP, aka 2fs?
February 9th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links: