The Comics Curmudgeon

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Five sentences about five cartoons

Beetle Bailey, 5/4/07

Beetle is a zombie.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/4/07

Sarah and Herb’s sex life is pretty much nonexistent, much to her disappointment.

Family Circus, 5/4/07

Jeffy is a solipsist.

Apartment 3-G, 5/4/07

Lu Ann does not actually have any friends and family who love her.

For Better Or For Worse, 5/4/07

Liz is a total idiot.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 4, 2007 at 01:14 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Beetle Bailey, Family Circus, For Better or for Worse, Herb and Jamaal.

408 responses to “Five sentences about five cartoons”

Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Hooray, new post! Let me get caught up with Friday’s comics:

A3G: Oh, I get it. LuAnn’s death scene is so excruciatingly long because they want us to really feel what it’s like to be suffocated slowly. Strangely, it feels a lot like reading a storyline about Tommie.

Rex Morgan: I have to admit, I’m fascinated by Roger Avery. Not as a character, mind you…it’s just that you usually don’t see someone’s head change shape so dramatically between panels anywhere outside of a Mark Trail strip featuring that preternaturally hideous goblin-child, Rusty. Or perhaps in Gil Thorp, although to be honest, I’m not convinced that the characters in Gil Thorp actually have heads: they look so bizarre and inhuman that they must be decoys of some kind, like the eyespots on the wings of some butterflies.
Paperback Rifler
May 4th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

And quite fittingly enough, Liz’s head in that first panel looks like it came off a crash test dummy.
Barry
May 4th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

What I love about this blog is there’s always at least one word I have to look up. I thought solipsist at first meant he was retarded. Come to think of it, I might prefer my word choice.
stinky pete
May 4th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

Argh. I nearly ended the last thread with this – let’s see if it works again!

St. Louis Post Dispatch Comics Poll Update

Some may remember many yesterthreads ago that the SLPD was running a comics poll to revise their page. FINALLY results were announced today:

Out: BC; In: 9CL* (WOOOO-HOOOOOOO!)

Out: Curtis (sob!); In: Candorville

Out: Meaning of Lila; In: My Cage

Out: Agnes; In: Pajama Diaries

*9CL was tested a few years back but discontinued to bring back Mark Trail, and that is all you need to know about St. Louis.
Jeremiah
May 4th, 2007 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

I don’t think I’ve ever noticed how much the ladies of Herb and Jamaal stretch their t-shirts before.
exelizabeth
May 4th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Sarge’s homophobia has become so repressed it’s expressing itself in necrophilia. If Beetle doesn’t have a pulse, then, only then, can they at last be united.

This would also explain yesterday’s comic and his abiding refusal to touch a live woman.
exelizabeth
May 4th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Oops, should have read “homosexuality.”
Jim Thorp(e)
May 4th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

“Sorry, Clambake, I don’t have time for your history of the Negro leagues. I have to get to my KKK meeting.”
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

The fact that a Red Cross CPR instructure would interrupt her own recruiting pitch to correct your perfectly legitimate use of the word “dummy” is all you will ever need to know about the Red Cross.
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

“instructor” (sigh).
Tweeks_Coffee
May 4th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Aww, just as I posted on the last thread. I shall repost then!

A3G: Clearly LuAnnâ€™s delusional, we all know her friends donâ€™t love her. Hell, theyâ€™ve barely even noticed that sheâ€™s been gone for the better part of a month.

FOOB: Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery.

MW: Why, Vera hasnâ€™t aged a day! Hell, sheâ€™s even wearing the same skirt! Either that or she inexplicably bought another one in the same awful color.

TDIET: What is with the constant barrage of strips centered around cleanliness vs. sloppiness? Has Scaduto not gotten any entries for a while so heâ€™s just rehashing the same one over and over?
AppleGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Red Greenback – Get that ‘83 Escort washed, we’re taking it to Toronto!
Darkefang
May 4th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

A3G: I enjoy the way in the first panel that Luann is stroking her chin, deep in thought, while she’s simultaneously collapsing to the floor from a lack of oxygen.

BB: The doctor is looking perplexed in the last panel as he tries to decide whether or not Beetle’s limp-wristedness is a violation of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.
Squawk
May 4th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Say, is that Rush Limbaugh in the car next to Liz?

I’ve noticed something about the FOOB characters’ triangular mouths. When they’re happy or amused, the triangle points downward; when they’re sad or angry, the triangle points up. Mad skillz, Lynn, mad skillz.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 4th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

You’re all very welcome. (For ending the previous thread.)
Seward
May 4th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Five more sentences:

Beetle’s wrist is limp.

Sarah, no one has ever had success breathing life into a dummy.

Jeffy is smaller than an average sized book.

Luann will make a lovely corpse (practice makes perfect).

Hey Liz – when you scrunch your eyes up like that you look just like your mother.
Leo
May 4th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

I enjoy Josh’s sniping, but I sometimes wish he’d focus on more than the same repeating 20 or so cartoons.
BoShek
May 4th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Two things about today’s comics.

First, in the Thorp-i-verse, there must be something naughty to be said about “Clambake” “Holding Court” at “The Bucket.”

Second, Garfield is 100% bat-shit crazy today. It’s sad, really. Jim Davis is, I think, screaming out for our attention by going completely insane. He hopes that someone, ANYONE, will send him some mail or call him on the phone. He hopes that someone will tell him that the strip is insane and that he is a bad man. It will validate his existence. But no. No such luck. People will just look down the funny pages to Garfield, shake their heads sadly and forget it, moving on to read about “Onion” and the boy with the vertical eyes (unless, of course, they live in “St. Louis.”) And they will go on with their lives because they just don’t notice Garfield anymore. This is the tragedy of Jim Davis.

What is worse, for a strip to end beore its time, like The Boondocks or for it to linger on in the living death that is Garfield? Stop and think a moment. Then, go on with a new sense of purpose, thanking whichever God you call your own that you are not Jim Davis.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 4th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

(Warning: corny philosophy “joke” ahead)

Jeffy is a solipsist? Well, so what? Isn’t everyone?
Anon
May 4th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

#17 leo, there are so few toons that deserve repeat snarking. Most every toon has been snarked here, but only a few really stick.
Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

The fact that the doctor in Beetle Bailey is staring in confusion at Beetle’s wrist suggests that it’s just the concept of taking someone’s pulse that has him baffled. He sits there, frozen in panic, thoughts racing through his mind: “Check…a pulse? Is that some kind of military term? Oh my god — I think this one actually expects me to TOUCH him. I’ve got to think fast, there’s got to be some way out of this. Maybe if I pretend I didn’t hear him, he’ll just go away. Yeah, that’s a plan. I’ll just go back to collating these forms, and he’ll have to leave. Man, I can’t believe they wanted me to waste money on going to medical school, being a doctor is EASY.”
Maughta
May 4th, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Liz is a total idiot. I think the strip can end right there. I’m satisfied that all has been said.
man behind the curtain
May 4th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#11 — It’s just that Vera was able to buy the matching tennis outfit. I wonder if we are supposed to realize that she was “born to the purple” Vera and Von used to play tennis every day until Von suggested the winner spank the loser with his/her racket. Finally the day came when Vera’s skin color matched her clothes and she fled from the abuse.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 4th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

Also, speaking of Garfield, here’s his real life counterpart.
Poteet
May 4th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

Although I’m sadly aware that it’s temporary, I really do enjoy watching Lizard writhe in humiliation and self-loathing. Har.
Chris
May 4th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

Was it really necessary to put the HONK! HONK!! in a word balloon? Would there have been any doubt as to the proper attribution?
No Stupid Bear
May 4th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Three degrees of separation from Burl and Joy: My sister’s > partner owns the coffee shop > that is featured in today’s Dinette Set.

Wait, maybe it’s only two degrees. My sister (the lawyer) waits tables on weekends at a coffeeshop > that is featured in today’s Dinette Set.

It’s a cool coffee shop. What are Burl and Joy doing there? Not tipping, that’s for sure.
McManx
May 4th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

MW — the backstory on “Von” and “Vera” is shaping up like the plotline of a 1970s Swedish porn flick on sibling incest. No wonder Mary is so intent on prying the details out of poor Vera.
ugarte
May 4th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

H&J: Apparently the EMT thought that Sarah was bemoaning her own inability to bring inanimate objects to life. I think 50% of the disappointment in Sarah’s eyes in the last panel is because she has to explain her joke to the halfwit.
Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

#26 — Actually, it’s Canada: cars don’t have horns there, the drivers just yell “HONK! HONNNK!” when they feel it’s necessary.
TB Tabby
May 4th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

Maybe today’s Garfield is Jm Davis attempting to take the advice of xkcd. Either way, I laughed. Garfield’s not as funny as he used to be, sure, but he’s still funnier than most other comics on the page were in their prime. Granted, that’s not saying much…
AppleGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

(THTI)FOOB – Honk! Honk! Hey lady, quit wasting gas! Oh, it’s you, Liz… never mind.
Pelagius
May 4th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Does “solipsist” mean “leprechaun”, because that’s the only explanation I can come up with for Jeffy’s size compared to his Grandmother.

Either that, or the Keanes can’t draw for shit.
Odie
May 4th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

If you want to read something really scary, go to the May Reader’s Digest. There they have a page of Garfield’s advice. And at the bottom they make reference to Garfield’s wit and wisdom.

I threw up a LOT in my mouth when I read that.
TurtleBoy
May 4th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Foob: boy, Liz is really letting loose her inner Kelpfroth in Panel One there.
rich
May 4th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

“So tired…must…remember all of those many… many friends who love me…
Marg– ha ha… right…
Er, Tomm– no, not really …Gina? —
uh, Profess — Professorsnof–
Snoffalofaliss….
zzzzzzz…”

…R.I.P.
C-Diddy
May 4th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

#26: The attribution was needed so that we didn’t think Liz had regressed into believing she was a goose. I do enjoy the mental image of Liz waddling around her parents house, trying to hatch a bag of leftover Cadbury eggs, and hissing when any man approaches.
John
May 4th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Pete,

Hopefully you’ll learn to like Candorville, but then again, I’m from DC.

The Get Fuzzy storyline is finally starting to make a bit of sense, though it helps to know what the Petronas Towers look like.
Martin
May 4th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Vera and Von appear to be using wooden tennis rackets ca. 1980. Thus we can reasonably conclude that they have constructed a time machine and traveled 27 years into the future, because they sure as heck haven’t aged a day since then.

I reject the hypothesis that they are performing a historical re-enactment of the Billie Jean Kin-Bobby Riggs match with authentic period equipment.
jvwalt
May 4th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

In our fantasy FOOBiverse, Liz’s next move would be to stop at a bar, slam some Jager-bombs, do a striptease on the pool table, and leave the joint with two traveling salesmen or a biker gang.

In Lynn’s FOOBiverse, Liz will snivel until wedding day, Elly will tell her to suck it up and put on her bridesmaid’s dress, Liz will show up at the reception, Anthony will take one look and KA-BOINGGGG! fall madly in love, they will share a slow dance and a very hairy smooch, he will propose, exeunt omnes.
Harry Worth
May 4th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Well, Von looks younger, but Vera still has that head bobbing pony-tail.

Sad.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

H&J: I don’t get it. First, in a CPR class, no one expects the manequin to suddenly start breathing on its own, sit up and say “Whew, that was a close one!” Second, wouldn’t Sarah’s previous failure at the topic be a good reason to take the course? Third, granted, Herb is a dummy, but I don’t understand why Sarah must constantly perform emergency medical procedures on him. Herb may not be charismatic, but Sarah’s chronic ennui suggest that she, too is no “party of one”.

Boiled down this is how the strip reads:
“Sarah, would you like to take a CPR class?”
“No, because my husband is a dummy and my sex life sucks.”

How to make this joke funny: You can’t. But here’s a try:
“Sarah, would you like to take a CPR class?”
“Can I molest the manequin?”
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 4th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

DTGT: At first I thought the alien in panel three had its wig on backwards, but I took a closer look and realized that the thing on its head is a larval life form. So the alien is a mother! Sweet!
man behind the curtain
May 4th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

A3G — Will LuAnn die because Margo was too lazy to ring the doorbell or call her cell phone from the front door? Will LuAnn die because Alan (or is it Eric, I get them confused) decided to leave the big city while on the way to her studio? Will Margo and whichever one he is unite in their mutual grief so Margo can erase LuAnn’s momory because she finally has a man? (or a reasonable facsimile of one.)

Maybe Liz can bring one of the 3G guys to the wedding. or one of the guys from camp Swampy. And what’s with this must bring a date to a wedding.thing I wouldn’t want to inflict that on any friend of mine nor vice-versa.
Theominousoat
May 4th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

Luann isn’t really dying, she always gets a bit panicky when she’s drowsy. Sleep is a confusing and frightening process for the terminally dense.
Howard Erk
May 4th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

Liz is a lez.

She wouldn’t go for me.

Proof enough.
C-Diddy
May 4th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

#40: “they will share a slow dance and a very hairy smooch”
…that’s a scandalous place to kiss a lady on the dance floor.
Ambino
May 4th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Man, I know when I’m upset about losing out on a mustachioed man, I just think, “Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!!!” Heaven forbid anyone in Canada have real (by which I mean vulgar) emotions.

Also, if only LuAnn had been able to see/hear Margo brushing her off a few strips ago. “Sure, I could get my cell phone out, push a few buttons, and check if my roommate is still alive, but meh.” Gotta love Margo. Everyone loves Margo. But… poor, dim, amnesia-ridden, ghost-haunted, idiotic, sleepy, UNLOVED LuAnn. Sleep, perchance to dream of a life where people care for you.
Justafoob
May 4th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Man, if Liz is going to have a melt-down over Granthony, just imagine the size of the tranquilizer dart that would be needed if she fell for a real man.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Anyone who may still be wondering: solipsist.
mere cog in the machine
May 4th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

Is Mr. Kelpfroth in the car next to Liz? Or is that just Lynn Johnston’s stock middle-aged, slightly hostile guy face?
Cedar
May 4th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Speaking of Garfield, this recent strip made me laugh like I can’t describe

http://www.garfield.com/comics/comics_archives_strip.html?2007-ga070330
Anon
May 4th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Good luck Josh on picking a COTW.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

A3G: Luann will not die. She shall be saved by that “Hi, I’m a docent!” guy.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

#21 – Trilobite – I think the doc is looking at the hand thinking “My God, he only has three fingers! Oh, yeah, so do I.”
Wonder Boy
May 4th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

I can’t explain exactly why, but if Liz was coming to my house, I’d want to spread newspapers all over the floor first.
man behind the curtain
May 4th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

#54 Hogen Mogen — That’s awfuly docent of him. After all, it is the docent thing to do. That way LuAnn docent have to die.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

On Beetle: Three fingers, one arm, no eyes. I also imagine the hat brim tucked in between his nose and head would not be comfortable. In profile, we should see the hat brim over the bulbous nose, but instead we see the brim nestled between in an odd configuration that would defy the likes of MC Escher.
Professor Fate
May 4th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

never fear Liz – no matter what you think now – a lifetime of cleaning out the Gimp suit and being mom to the Mustache’s pale sickly child await.

Actually she’s being an idiot being upset about it. Burbon Liz burbon – in vast amounts. and then mabye when you wake up with a pounding head and bleary eyes you’ll realize what a total wanker Antony is and move the hell on and get a life before you stuff a man into it.
That guy
May 4th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

After the brilliance of a few weeks ago, Castellanos decided to take a break and find the easiest ways to confuse, disgust and delight us at the the same time. I think it’s time for Tia Carmen to go to Best Buy.
Cedar
May 4th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

#24 I’d recently been told that this is the world’s fattest cat

http://english.people.com.cn/200602/17/eng20060217_243641.html
I don’t know what to believe
dorko
May 4th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

FOOB: are you kidding me Liz? its a damn wedding, not a trip to the bahamas. he needs to find an ‘event date’ and made it ABOUNDINGLY clear that hes only not moving in on you because he hates competition of any sort. hes the prototypical ‘nice guy’ who probably bitches to his male friends that Liz wont put out, even though hes offered his shoulder to cry on for 15 years! at least he’s finally read ‘the game’ and realizes the only way to attract liz: playing hard to get.

what retards these canadians be.
Hogen Mogen
May 4th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Foob: The guy in the car next to Liz isn’t moving, either. Why is he yelling at Liz? The answer: Who wouldn’t yell at that self-centered, whiny ‘ho?
Dingo
May 4th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

Mustache or Your Member?
to the tune of ‘See You in Septmber’ as recorded by Shelley Fabares

I’ve been alone each and every night
Since back from Mgtiwaki, no man bite
No sex, so long, Oh Hell!
No sex, so long
Mustache or your member?
Which will finally get me off?
Here we are (my, baby, good eye!)
Pastel dress elation (my, baby, good eye!)
Trouser inflation (my, baby, I spy!)
I guess you’re not gay (my kind of a guy!)

Have a good time at the wedding
But keep your mitts off of that new girl
It should be me that you’re bedding
Your love toy? I’ll give it a whirl

(down in the cage I would wait for you)
(counting the hours and the minutes, too)
Ride mustache, I’d ride
On member, I’d slide
Please more Astro-Glide
You’re burning my hide!

I’ve had good times but remember
I’ve never really had a love
I have, dreaming, held your member
Caressing – it like a turtledove
(Waiting for you each and every night)
(I’d take the spell off your blue ball blight)
Mustache or your member?
I hope I get to ride them both
Mustache or your member?
And then, yes, to you I’ll betroth!
Tyler
May 4th, 2007 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

I nominate Trilobite for COTW honors:

Actually, itâ€™s Canada: cars donâ€™t have horns there, the drivers just yell â€œHONK! HONNNK!â€ when they feel itâ€™s necessary.

Seriously made me laugh out loud, bad mood notwithstanding.
Tukla in Iowa
May 4th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

#26: Was it really necessary to put the HONK! HONK!! in a word balloon?

Yes. Canadians are far too polite to use their actual car horns, so they merely sit in their vehicles yelling the words “HONK HONK”.
Phil
May 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Family Circus:

Grandma slipped up. Jeffy is the first to discover Grandma’s time-travelling secret.
Justafoob
May 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Most Canadians have a Canada goose in their car just in case they are caught in traffic.
RoboMax: Agent of C.U.R.M.U.D.G.E.O.N
May 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Man, I don’t know what Liz is going to do next, but I hope she takes alot of innocent people with her.

A3G; …Is there a gas leak or something? The inherent boringness of the strip looks like it’s killing Luanne.

Herb and Jamall: It’s a good thing that Sarah is holding a coffee mug with her name on it, just in case the two times she is referred to by name weren’t enough to cement in the reader’s head, “this is Sarah”.

I feel like their shirts should be saying “boobs”.
scan
May 4th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

ahh, one thing I love about the fact this is a weblog is I get to look up words like solipsist to find out what it means. The funny thing is that I wasn’t close to what I thought the word would mean. But as usual wikipedia comes through.

I love the word! It makes sense. Nothing exists but what I know in my mind and what I’ve seen. That 40 year old person you just met never existed until you meet them.
you never saw him, He didn’t exist. We never landed on the moon, there is no God, My ex girlfriend is dead to me.

It reminded me of something Peter Tork of the Monkees said in an interview. When each member talks about when and where he was born, Peter Tork replied ” My parents tell me I was born February 13, 1942 in Washington D.C.” See, he doesn’t know for sure if that’s reality because he wasn’t cognizant at the time of his birth.

wow!
Tim in Augusta
May 4th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

I remember being a solipsist when I was kid, so I am sure that Josh is right about Jeffy. I didn’t know the term, of course, but I have a distinct memory of riding my bike up a steep hill on the street in my neighborhood and noting how houses seemed to pop into existence one after the other as they came into view. I decided that nothing else really existed unless I was around… I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped believing it, come to think of it.

Now, actually relating this to comic strips, here are T-Rex’s thoughts on solipsism:
http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=598
http://www.qwantz.com/index.pl?comic=972
Dave H
May 4th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

First a question: Is the M.D. after Rex Morgan’s name an acronym for Must Die? Since he completely avoids his office and his patients and the hospital I suppose it has to mean something.

This Roger Avery is making Heather look like a savvy business veteran. This idiot is planning to steal the corporation from his own stepmother and the sum total of his research on her is asking the moron driver who couldn’t even find his own car about her? And he believes every word of it? He’d have lasted about 5 minutes as Chairman of the Board before somebody bought his shares for a handful of magic beans.
Tukla in Iowa
May 4th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

#30: Curses upon you, Trilobite!
B
May 4th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

On Jeffy being a solipsist. Since Jeff is now the one who draws FC, the entire universe is in fact created by him. Does it still count as solipsism if you belief is correct?
scan
May 4th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

BTW, who put that goose in the engine of the car behind Liz? Are Canadians still living in Bedrock times?
Teem
May 4th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

That honk, honk is not the sound of a car horn it is a flock of Canada geese stalled behind Liz’s car–no doubt talking geese that have migrated from Mark Trail.
Isn’t the messy home office in TDIET today the same messy home office featured a few weeks ago? It even has the same underwear hanging off a book shelf.
Mark Trail’s smile looks deeply cheesy today.
And It think June should be the Morgan trying to detain the Avery scion. I can imagine him lingering long over her big, umm, blue eyes.
Ribinin
May 4th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Hogen Mogen @ 54 – I think that Liz should marry him. Heaven knows SHE needs a docent to get her through life.

RE: Granthony and his date – Given that after he asked Liz to wait for him and she didn’t, I am fine with him getting the message and moving on.

Of course we know that Liz and Granthony will get married (in how many, 117 days?) eventually, so any of this discussion is moot (redundant, I know).
mere cog in the machine
May 4th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

My feelings about Liz can best be explained by what Anthony Blanche said about Julia Marchmain in ‘Brideshead Revisited’; that “there ought to be an Inquistion set up especially to burn her”.
Teem
May 4th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

oh and Beetle clearly has a limp wrist.
By the way, in Canada we yell honk, honk please.
Yitzchok
May 4th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Family Circus: I like to think of the two-quote strips like this in a slightly different way: It’s not Jeffy being quoted below; it’s a man hiding in the walls peeking through perfectly circular holes and commenting on what he sees.

“No, Grandma…”
ltrftp(not so first time)
May 4th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

42
Hogen Mogen
How’s this:

â€œSarah, would you like to take a CPR class?â€

“Only if the “P” stands for Penus”;

or

“Onlyif the dummy is anotomically correct”;

or

“Not until after Herb’s heart stops beating”

Nah, you’re right.

Nothing works.
man behind the curtain
May 4th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

If the “honk” balloon is Canadian shouldn’t the second “honk” be in French “cacarder’ or “honque’ or something like that?
ltrftp(not so first time)
May 4th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

82

That would be a vicious canard……
BoShek
May 4th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Regarding the theory about geese migrating from MT to FOOB, I think this has great potential. I mean, Mark is asking the airport boss how he ended his bird-stike problem… he sent them north of the border to FOOB, where they will execute a thunderous bird strike on Liz, thus ending her worries. Feathered death comes for ye, failed moustache rider!!

Or something like that.
Chan
May 4th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

Wow. I thought you were joking about LuAnn suffocating in her artist’s pad.

That’s what the ghost is all about! He encourages artists who rent that loft in pursuit of their calling, all the while concealing his real desire: to see them suffocate and die the same way he did, in a poorly-ventilated, enclosed area.

Brrrrrrr.

Better get my +5 ghost touch longsword out and oiled up.
Potato
May 4th, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

You’re a Plugger if you buy your eggs from a small farm in Chernobyl.
BoShek
May 4th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

#85- Only +5? Better hope your rolls are good- I’ve heard dead artists have enormous AC.
The Great Ka-Floopa Gush
May 4th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

79. I thought Canadians said ‘honk honk, eh’
Potato
May 4th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Would do you think is hidden behind the frame of neddy and abbey. I’d like to imagine it’s a drunken French woman threathing, “je vous nierai, manque.”
HammerGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Note the family resemblance between panel one and panel two of FBOFW? The thing in the car next to Liz is Elly.
Little Guy
May 4th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

FOOB: In all honesty, Liz will be prompted to pursue Granthony (with Elly and John’s enabling), who will be seen halfheartedly at the wedding with Red-Short Escort, who will, of course, look like TubGirl, ignoring Granthony, and entertaining herself by ripping the wings off butterflies.

However, it would be Dave-Roberts-steals-second sweet if Liz rips her parents (especially Daddy TRAAAAINS Granthony-is-the-one) for enabling her and she carried her “I’M A TOTAL IDIOT!” glimmer of realization that she’s been ‘chasing rainbows’ (thanks, Sparky!)
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 4th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#2, Did you say crash test dummy?
Once there was a girl who
Got turned down by her boring high school boyfriend
And when she got in her car,
She had a scary major league tantrum
One of these days you’ll see a full song parody from me.

FC: That book is the size of Jeffy. One of these days the kids at school are gonna tease him and find out that pudge is pure muscle, baby.
Dono
May 4th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

Hey, Beetle–Sarge was insulting you because of your goldbricking. He didn’t think you were stupid enough to actually go ask a doctor if you have a pulse.
gump worsley
May 4th, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

If there’s anything more exciting than watchng Mark Trail interview people in 1960’s offices, it’s watching him make preliminary small talk with them in their 1960s offices.
blueberry
May 4th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

People! c’mon! Vera’s flashback is obviously to when she was much, much younger, because her ponytail is at least two inches shorter than it is now. That implies that, contrary to appearances, her hair actually is made of organic matter and thus capable of growth.

Also, the flashback is clearly to a happier time, because the ponytail looks quite jaunty (unburdened by the woes of her current wretched existence).
Trotzenbonnie
May 4th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

H & J – Breathe life into a dummy? I thought you were supposed to make it sing “The Star- Spangled Banner” while you drank a glass of water.

FC – Are Jeffy’s legs on backwards or are his feet just upside down?

A3G – LuAnn’s creepy back-at-you gaze in the first panel looks like an homage to the women in paintings by Edouard Manet.

What are the chances Liz will go to the wedding alone, have fun dancing and chatting with old friends then come to the conclusion that she should dismiss her preoccupation with finding Mr. Right and just enjoy her life?
Little Guy
May 4th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

FOOB, yelling at other drivers though unimpeded: Typical Boston Driver.

Heck, there have been interstates in Connecticut where I’ve signaled to change lanes and cars about a half-mile away would speed up just so they could be ahead of me.
Potato
May 4th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

Judging by the last panel, I think Dick Tracy forgot where he parked.
AhClem
May 4th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

Luann radiates a force-field of cluelessness that repels anybody who approaches. It’s like meteors striking the earth’s atmosphere at a shallow angle and bouncing back into space.

Carrying that analogy further, if anybody approaches Luann directly, they burn up. No wonder Margo and the hat dude veered away at the last minute.
Hawkwoman
May 4th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

FOOB– Lynn Johnston foreshadows with such a heavy hand that her readers have known for more than a year that she was forcing Liz and Anthony together. It was inevitable. But I have to say, after all the angst, all the jokes, all the FOOB hate, now that it’s here I am deeply shocked at how boring it is. Did all the talk neutralize the horror? Or does LJ just suck so hard she can’t even make a train wreck interesting anymore?
Hysterical Woman
May 4th, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey’s wrist is limp, in Canada people just say “honk honk”!, and if Liz looked like Aldo, she would look like Captain Kangaroo.
ElSanto
May 4th, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

Hmm. That last line of FOOB looks like it should’ve been: “Calgon, take me away!”
Groovymarlin
May 4th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

Was this post a reference to that classic song “88 Lines about 44 Women?” Because now I can’t get that damn song out of my head. Thanks Josh.

Speaking of comics, does anyone know why Scott Adams has inserted what appears to be himself into Dilbert this week? It’s freaking me out a little, but I admit I’m slightly intrigued.
Porky
May 4th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

Check out todayâ€™s (5-4) Mary Worth.
Mary has Vera staring dumbfounded at some really great close-up magic: two days ago, she took off her glove and stuck it into a coat pocketâ€¦ and now sheâ€™s putting it back on by pushing from the fingers.
Canâ€™t wait to see her next trick!
Poppinjay
May 4th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

Sarah, with live men, you’re supposed to blow from the stem.
td
May 4th, 2007 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

OK, Liz is a total idiot; that goes without saying. And I won’t try to settle the question of whether the other driver is saying “HONK! HONNK!!” or if a goose is doing it.

But I’m very curious about this Canadian custom of sitting at a green light blocking traffic until you can ensure that the driver next to you is aware the light has changed. Do you hosers wait a long time at traffic lights even after they change, or did the second car stop on green just to check on Liz?
mere cog in the machine
May 4th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

103: I don’t know why he did it, but I am already tired of it. The only time I’ve have seen it work is when the artist (Grace?) who draws ‘The Piranha Club’ does it. When the guy from ‘Overboard’ resorts to it, it is merely annoying. I am never certain if he is engaged in drawing one of the strip’s Five Jokes at his desk, or if his appearence is actually a Sixth Joke.
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Canadian traffic etiquette demands that every driver let every other driver proceed first. In Canada, none but the rude may move .
mattt
May 4th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

FOOB – Maybe the “Honk! Honk!” is coming from a Canadian goose.

BB – When did Beetle get a new hat? What happened to the round one, and just what is it he’s wearing? I clearly haven’t been paying attention. I actually divert attention unless having it foisted upon me by Josh.
Adjuster
May 4th, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the awesomeness that’s going on with the lettering in A3G. As LuAnn collapses, so do her words. Think of how other comics could use that technique:

RMMD: the words could go around and around in a circle for weeks.
9CL: the words leap off the page and then take their fonts off.
FBoFW: the words enter a death spiral that lasts forever.
Foobaphonium
May 4th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

http://lizfails.ytmnd.com/
Abbey the WonderdogY
May 4th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

You have to wonder about Rex (well, yeah, that way too)

but, less than and hour ago (Rex time, a fortnight real time) Rex was dead set against playing games with the nanny’s company.

Now, he gets put off for a little bit and Whoa, it is

“I can’t find the luggage”

“I can’t find the car”

“Where am I supposed to be driving you again?”

“Careful you don’t sit in the rancid ice cream in back”

“Watch out for the dog shit on the floor too”

“Yeah, I knew his wife. We called her Honda Rhonda, the best ride in town.”

No wonder Rex can’t get patients anymore, he has the ethics of a flea.

BARK! BARK! BARK!
Steve S
May 4th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

Jeffy is terrified of his grandmother’s soulless, empty white eyes. No, wait, that’s me.
Dennis Jimenez
May 4th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Carumba! What a country.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5614/proper_etiquette_for_visiting_canada.html
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 4th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#110 Adjuster — speaking of lettering, one random nerdy observation that I’ve made is that only a few comic strips use lower case letters in speech bubbles or thought bubbles (as opposed to all caps). For example:

Bizarro

Fred Basset

Gasoline Alley.

Actually, in Fred Basset, the dog thinks in lower case, but the humans speak in capitals.
Wellsey
May 4th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

In FBOFW, the second panel, doesn’t that look like the guy Liz just sent to jail? Did he escape to stalk her or something? Actually, being Liz, she’ll probably look over, notice him, and wave him to the side of the road so she can ask him to be her date to the wedding.
Plinko Commie
May 4th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

110:

FW: the words get cancer
ElSanto
May 4th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I love that article about Canadian etiquette, simply because I have a hard time believing the writer is American. There’s a passage that basically says: Unlike America, you don’t have to wear the latest fashions at business meetings. Um, I’ve gone to business meetings wearing some worn old jeans and a sweatshirt. Of course, I’m a Detroit native who lives in Seattle, so maybe those two cities are just way too Canadian for the writer.

(An actual tip you can use: when at a Canadian meeting, do not pring a carafe of Starbucks. Tim Hortons is much more appreciated.)
Eric The Grate
May 4th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

The Mustache’s creepily persistent admiration from afar must be like heroin to Liz. The thought bubble in Panel 2 could have contained frantic worries over where she’ll find her next fix and it wouldn’t have seemed all that out-of-sync with the illustration.

You know what they say- once you go wimpy dork, you never go back.
jess a.
May 4th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

I have to admit… there’s not a single word that Liz is saying in that first panel that I disagree with in the context of FOOB.
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

#118 ElSanto -

A “carafe” of Tim Hortons’? Surely you mean “pail”!
Cranky
May 4th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

And today on The Lockhorns, Loretta interrupts Leroy’s tired and depairing attempt to masturbate to the 30 Minute Workout.

Click here to see it, but don’t, really.
Sabrechick
May 4th, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

OK guys – here’s my attempt to post with links to the comics I’m referring to -

Baldo â€“

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Baldo

Ok everybodyâ€™s Mind listen up â€“ last one out of the gutter is a rotten egg!!

Ballard Street â€“

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Ballard_Street

Along the same line â€“ what exactly is Carl doing with his left hand that makes him so happy?

Better Half

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Better_Half

The groom rebinds me of a Beaker/Monster (nose and fangs) hybrid that might show up on the Muppets

DtM

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Dennis_The_Menace

Ah yes, the ever popular Top Hat and Tweed look â€“ very retro Gramps

Momma-

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Momma

Yes sir, once they understand how those pesky child labor laws can protect them they are useless!!

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Spot
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Barney_Google
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Redeye
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Strange_Brew

Granted I’ve been running on only a few hours of sleep a night but this group of strips not only aren’t funny, but they make no sense.
Hap Hapless
May 4th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

I knew Jeffy was some kind of sist
Sabrechick
May 4th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

WooHoo!! – It worked -

Thanks for all your help guys.
jvwalt
May 4th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Hey, if we could engineer a Mark Trail/FBOFW crossover, our troubles would be at an end. Anthony’s mustache would brand him as an instant bad guy. Mark would beat him up, and turn him over to the insurance company — or the police, whichever is convenient.

And the Solip Sisters is one of my favorite bands.
off-model
May 4th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

BS: I’m sure this has been pointed out before, but well, um, Carl there does seem to have found a way to be, uh, happy with himself.
Friend of Pauline, perhaps?
Dennis Jimenez
May 4th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Canadian etiquette tip – when ordering, Labatt’s is a beer – Moosehead is a beer – Molson’s is a beer – Miller Lite is beaver piss.
Wellsey
May 4th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Well Sabrechick, does it really look like Carl (Ballard Street) is going to be happy with what he’s sitting beside??
bobbaloo (aka bob byrd)
May 4th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

I admit it. I had to look up solipsist.
Hawkwoman
May 4th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

FOOB–Why is Liz so upset anyway? It’s not like Anthony flicked a cigarette at her and said, “Too late, sweet cheeks. This ’stache is taken.” That would have been awsome, but it’s not what happened.
Paperback Rifler
May 4th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

126. “Hey, if we could engineer a Mark Trail/FBOFW crossover, our troubles would be at an end. Anthonyâ€™s mustache would brand him as an instant bad guy. Mark would beat him up, and turn him over to the insurance company â€” or the police, whichever is convenient.”

Alternately, perhaps Mark could call for a bird strike on the Foob. Then while Anthony is distracted as he tries to clean gulls, starlings, and waterfowl from his hideous pornstache, Mark could liberate Francoise from her underground dungeon and release her into the wild.

Which (sort of) brings us to an interesting philosophical question: What happens when an unstoppable fist meets an immovable mustache? My answer: “Something awesome.”
Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

Looking at today’s Dennis the Menace, I see that his mom has apparently replaced her feet with suction cups. That must come in handy when it’s time to clean the gutters.
Dean Booth
May 4th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#96. Trotzenbonnie, nice observation: “homage to the women in paintings by Edouard Manet”
Red Greenback
May 4th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

#12 AppleGirl: I just plopped down $8.75 at an auto parts store in Santa Ana for some truly menacing-looking flame decals. Those hosers are in for a big surprise, by golly!

Our strange appearance will only be a feeble precursor for when the Big Scaly Green Dude whips out his SXKWachamacallit.

BTW, do you have gas money?
AirForbes
May 4th, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Lu Ann does not actually have any friends and family who love her.

That’s certainly been proven true over the last few weeks, as we’ve seen every character, major and minor, consider checking on LuAnn and then reject the idea because they’ve got other things to do.
Hawkwoman
May 4th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

A3G–Wouldn’t it be great if Lu Ann died and the ghost of that artist (Ryder Pinkham? something like that) inhabited her body and began behaving and talking like a 19th-century man and talking down to the Professor and coming on to Tommie and beating up Alan (or Eric, whatever) and generally making things change? It would be the greatest thing to ever happen in the strip. Margo wouldn’t notice for at least a year.
Joel
May 4th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!
EVERYSINGLESENTENCEINFOOBWASFOLLOWEDBYATLEASTONEEXCLAMATIONPOINT!THATSSOEXCITINGTHEYACHIEVEDA100%EXCLAMATIONPOINTRATION(!PR)ANDATOTALEXCLAMATIONPOINTQUOTIENT(T!Q)EXCEEDING100%!JESUSCHRISTIMGUNNABURSTORSOMETHING!THEIR T!Q WAS145%!!!BECAUSETHEYHAD6COUNTTHEMSIXMORE EXCLAMATIONPOINTSTHANSENTENCES!!!ACK!DOUBLEDOUBLEACKELACKEL!!!!!!!ITSSOEXCITING!LIZISUPSET!ANDCARSAREHONKING!MOREEXCITINGTHANANYTHINGINTHEWHOLE WIDEWORLD!AND65%OFTHEEXCLAMATIONPOINTSWEREACTUALLY
BOLDEDSOIFYOUCALCULATEDTHE
AGRREGATEEXCLAMATIONPOINTMASSRATIOIT
WOULDPROBABLYEXCEED200%!OHMYGODAN A!MR>200%!MYPANTSARENOLONGERDRY!!!!!
ANDANDANDANDANDTWOOFTHELASTTWO
EXCLAMATIONPPOINTSARELIKEREALLYBIG
ANDEVENSHADEDIN!THATSHOWEXCITEDTHE HORNSARE,THEYARESHADEDTHEMUTHER
FUCKIN!HOLYSHITMONKEYSHOLYSHITMONKEYS!
Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

#138 – Calm down, Joel! They’ve still got a long way to go before they reach the exclamation point penetration of Mark Trail!

Oh crap! Exclamation points have thoroughly penetrated this comment! It’s like a disease!
Joel
May 4th, 2007 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Sorry, of course that should read:
OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!OHMYGODIMSOEXCITED!
EVERYSINGLESENTENCEINFOOBWASFOLLOWEDBYATLEASTONEEXCLAMATION
POINT!THATSSOEXCITINGTHEYACHIEVEDA100%EXCLAMATIONPOINT
PLACEMENTRATIO(!PR)ANDATOTALEXCLAMATIONPOINTQUOTIENT(T!Q)
EXCEEDING100%!JESUSCHRISTIMGUNNABURSTORSOMETHING!THEIR T!Q WAS145%!!!BECAUSETHEYHAD6COUNTTHEMSIXMORE EXCLAMATIONPOINTSTHANSENTENCES!!!ACK!DOUBLEDOUBLEACKELACKEL!!!!!!!ITSSOEXCITING!LIZISUPSET!ANDCARSAREHONKING!MOREEXCITINGTHANANYTHINGINTHEWHOLE WIDEWORLD!AND65%OFTHEEXCLAMATIONPOINTSWEREACTUALLY
BOLDEDSOIFYOUCALCULATEDTHE
AGRREGATEEXCLAMATIONPOINTMASSRATIOIT
WOULDPROBABLYEXCEED200%!OHMYGODAN A!MR>200%!MYPANTSARENOLONGERDRY!!!!!
ANDANDANDANDANDTWOOFTHELASTTWO
EXCLAMATIONPPOINTSARELIKEREALLYBIG
ANDEVENSHADEDIN!THATSHOWEXCITEDTHE HORNSARE,THEYARESHADEDTHEMUTHER
FUCKINHOLYSHITMONKEYSHOLYSHIT
MONKEYS!

I regret the error.
Wellsey
May 4th, 2007 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Lu Ann is so friendless even the ghost/sub-concious that’s haunting her has abandoned her. Next up, her lungs, heart, nervous system and brain bid her adieu.
Trilobite
May 4th, 2007 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

The more I look at Friday’s A3G, the more I get the sinking feeling that they’re about to go back LuAnn’s dream about drowning, thereby dragging this out for another week.

For god’s sake, just let the dull man in the v-neck sweater go up and open the frickin’ window, already. Unless this plotline is going to end with everyone but Margo going into the studio and asphyxiating (which would be the single coolest thing that ever happened and), quit wasting my time.
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

You gotta love Errata for posts that end “HOLYSHITMONKEYS!”
Red Greenback
May 4th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

I’m no solipsist, but I always thought Captain Kangaroo looked more like a walrus than a kangaroo.
wazzu62
May 4th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

#131 Hawkwoman

I agree with you on both points.

But does she think she is an idiot because, like a foob, she asked Granthony thinking he would be pining away in his basement just waiting for her to come along and throw his a bone?

Or is she an idiot because she now realizes that she wasted her time on helicopter and police car rides when all she ever really wanted was a mustache ride?

Either way, she is an idiot.
wazzu62
May 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

that should be “throw him a bone”
Sir Paul McCartney
May 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

#144 RGB

I am the walrus!
MossMoses
May 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

40. JVWalt, KA-BOINGGGG is the sound of Granthony’s throbbing chubby snapping to rock hard erection when he sees Lizardbreath in the wedding gown, right? You’re probably right but then again I thought his daughter would be his escort so I’m done predicting…By the way, he told Lizardbreath, “wait for me”. This implies that LB thinks she is an idiot for believing him. Otherwise, what is idiotic about taking someone at their word?
MossMoses
May 4th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

144. RGB, how about Mike Holmgren – walrus or sea lion?
Trotzenbonnie
May 4th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

#134 – Dean Booth
That’s the one! I had no idea it would adapt so well to the whole A3G ARP “plot”. As the kids say nowadays, you totally rock.

Now if someone would just adapt The Fantasticks to the Foobiverse….
ChefMike
May 4th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

I don’t recall 9CL ever having been tested in the Post-Dispatch, but then it’s been a few years since I read that with any regularity. It’s much easier to get my daily dose of comicry online. I wish I’d known about the poll, though, I always enjoyed voting, even though my suggestions invariably got ignored. It would be nice if they’d keep Curtis (they could get rid of Mallard Fillmore, to make the room for it) and with regard to soap opera strips, they could dump Brenda Starr, and bring back Mary Worth.
MossMoses
May 4th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

People always choose the wrong animals to name Lucky. Lucky the beaver did eventually get lucky but he certainly had his trails and tribulations along the way. Lucky the duck is just plain un Lucky.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/04/ducks.stabbed.ap/index.html
AppleGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

64 – Thanks a lot, Dingo. I’ve had “Mustache or your Member” playing in my head all afternoon.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 4th, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

134 Dean Booth: Stop! Too funny! Too intellectual! Too much talent on display.
gnome de blog
May 4th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#154 Chef Mike –
Dump Brenda Starr????

Them’s fightin’ words, bro!!
AppleGirl
May 4th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

135 – Red Greenback – No money, just credit cards. Same thing, right?
AndyL
May 4th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

F.W. “Well, then it’s a good thing that this is a MRI, and that those don’t work like that.”
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

#157 AndyL -

Different sorta radiation is all.
Jamus The Bartender
May 4th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Okay…did anyone else hear the acoustic guitar licks to “Mrs Robinson” by Simon And Garfunkel while Liz was ranting? Because I did. And i’m sure i’ll hear them until the wedding day.
Dingo
May 4th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#153 AppleGirl: I aim to please, madam. Better than after Liz and Anthony consummate and all she can sing is “It’s a Small World After All.”
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

#158 me -

Speaking of which, anybody remember department-store shoe-department X-Ray machines? I would amuse myself for an hour wiggling my toe-bones while my brother picked out his Buster Browns.

Gotta lotta these lumps that way.

Good times!
Tad
May 4th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

That was the first really good laugh I’ve had at Garfield since I was a kid. I’m so proud of Jim Davis – I knew he still had it in him.

Does anybody else remember the “spinach flavored doughnuts” strip? That, my friends, was my moon landing.
Lizardmess
May 4th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

Liz says what we’ve all been thinking. For years. About everyone in the strip.

JP: Cedric’s wife is made up right? Am I the only one who thinks this?
zqfmgb
May 4th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Please, please don’t judge Canadians by the content in FBOFW. We’re not all aggresively boring and melodramatic. Some of us even know how to pronounce “and”.
Islamorada Girl
May 4th, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

Gap-Toothed-Starey-Eyed-HOOO-Boy and Rusty Trail are the same person. Does Rusty attend high school in Ontario?

Red–Don’t worry about the gas. I’ve got three fleet gasoline credit cards and I’m ready to max every single one of them out in order to get us all to Ontario and back.

What kind of gift are we bringing? We can swing by WalMart and get them a nice toaster. Besides gift cards for Tim Horton’s, what else have they registered for?
ElSanto
May 4th, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

I don’t know, zqfmgb. Between FOOB, and, say, the Degrassi series, I’d say that Canada may at least be one of the world’s leading exporters in melodrama.

Next to the US, of course. We still have Funky Cancerbean. USA! USA! USA!
Harold
May 4th, 2007 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

I know it’s not possible for a number of reasons, but I really want to see the cars in Judge Parker and Rex Morgan, M.D> crash into each other.
DrGunn
May 4th, 2007 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

If you were William Faulkner, five sentances about five cartoons would be about 30 pages long.
Kurdt
May 4th, 2007 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

Gap-Toothed-Starey-Eyed-HOOO
Gap-Toothed-Starey-Eyed-HOOO
We need to see
More of you
Your gap tooth bullying ways
Just make my day
Here’s what you should do:
Show up
In inappropriate places
Just to see looks on their faces
And give your trademarked HOOO!!!
Ukulele Ike
May 4th, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

Oh, my stars and garters! Today’s “Baldo” really IS about Baldo’s schvanschtucher!
Harold
May 4th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

FOOB: #63 Hogen Mogen, #106 td: It is possible that Liz is in a left-turn lane and has a green arrow (=”light”), while the speaking driver on her right still has a red light. Or the driver on her right is making a right turn while Liz sits motionless. Or the speaker in panel three is not the driver seen in panel two, but is the driver who was behind him. Or…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 4th, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

161 Uncle Lumpy: did you ever wonder, as I do, if those fluoroscopes as I think they were called, would eventually give us foot cancer? (We could then be Winkerbeanians!)

And on that cheery note, I’m off till the AM.
Wellsey
May 4th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

“FOOB: Okayâ€¦did anyone else hear the acoustic guitar licks to â€œMrs Robinsonâ€ by Simon And Garfunkel while Liz was ranting? Because I did. And iâ€™m sure iâ€™ll hear them until the wedding day.”

No, Jamus, but Liz is definitely putting me in mind of Janis Ian’s “At Seventeen”.
Uncle Lumpy
May 4th, 2007 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

To the tune of I Heard it Through the Grapevine:

(verse)
When April’s roadside with her old beau
And she’d prefer that all his friends not know
Well, she can make a scene from North to South -
But you know that kid will run his mouth,

(chorus)
He’ll tell Gap-toothed Starey “HOO” Guy -
In the hallway at the junior high.
He’ll tell Gap-toothed Starey “HOO” Guy
How he homered on the first try!

Honey, honey, yeah!

(verse)
And when Liz can’t get a wedding date
From Newfoundland to the Bering Strait,
And it’s weighing on her self-esteem
To be rejected by the hockey team,

(chorus)
She’ll call Gap-toothed Starey “HOO” Guy -
Once her options have all run dry.
Go with Gap-toothed Starey “HOO” Guy,
In his onesie tux with bolo tie.

Honey, honey, YEAH!

(verse)
When Deanna’s sick of Michael’s crap,
In the attic with his tappy-tap,
When she craves a little foot massage
And a cleanout for the girl’s garage -

(chorus)
She’ll get Gap-toothed Starey “HOO” Guy -
He knows where to find her bull’s-eye,
Call out, “Gap-toothed Starey ‘HOO’ Guy -
“Come and ream me ’til I hit the sky!”

Honey, honey, YEAAAHHH!
Poteet
May 4th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

# 174 — BWAHAHA! Yay Uncle Lumpy!
Don Iguan
May 4th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

This is it! All she needs is a case of Labatt Blue and a trip to a hilly road and Lizardmania ‘07 is running wild!

Oh, who am I kidding? You might as well cue the “NOT THIS WAY! NOT THIS WAY!” sound bite when true love bludgeons all with the anvilicious Aesops Lynn loves all too well.

And so as not to be a one-note poster, is it just me or is Scott Adams trying to use his weaselly tactics to distract us from knowing that the well has run dry?
Ralph
May 4th, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Maybe you all can help me out with this FBOFWedding.
Is there a best man? What about the groom’s men (maybe not, since Liz has to hunt down and capture her own escort)? What are the men all wearing? In my mind, I see a wedding photo with a row of maids in pastel 70s-style dresses; the bride in “cream” with the groom, and a row of men wearing … Seinfeld Puffy Shirts?
Justafoob
May 4th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Ok, Curmudgeons, we need some musically talented people to start recording these gems…
True Fable
May 4th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

I can sing pretty well, but my guitar playing is on par with Pete Townsend.

-that is, Pete Townsend AFTER the song, when he starts busting the guitar to pieces all over the stage.
AhClem
May 4th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

I can bring my mandolin, and … oh, wait. you said talented musicians. Never mind.

I was in a Border’s this evening, browsing through the (what else?) comics shelf, and noticed that Matt Groening’s “Life in Hell” was right next to a bunch of FBOFW books. It just seemed so … appropriate, somehow.
Harry Paratestes
May 4th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

MW: Next week, we’ll hear it: Vera napped after tennis one day, and she woke to find her face covered with Von’s semen, such that she resembled a glazed Krispy Kreme donut.
reader-who-posts
May 4th, 2007 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: I have a much more important concern besides the blatantly obvious fact the Liz is a total idiot. Why is the guy next to her yelling at Liz for not going with a green light? Shouldn’t he be, you know, moving at the green light? Even if she is in a turn lane, what the hell does he care, unless maybe he is Mary Worth’s illegitimate son and can’t refrain himself from meddling.

MW: I’m amazed at the incredible attention to detail shown by making flashback Vera’s hair a few inches shorter. Of course since they are playing with wood rackets, the flashback must have occurred around 1975 when Vera was -3 years old.

MT: How did John get rid of the bird problem? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess either poison or a gun.

JP: Neither are we, Cedric…neither are we.

Pluggers: Pluggers love mutants.

GT: I’ll tell ya, boys, ol’ Clambake knew all the old Negro league stars. Josh Gibson could swing into the same hole over and over again better than anyone I ever knew. And Satchel Paige? His balls smelled like cheddar cheese.

Curtis: Curtis needs to leave…now.

TDIET: It seems that having multiple days showing the exact same “person complaining about messes is messy” joke in the same week is something Scaduto will do every time.
Brian Cooksey
May 4th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

Beetle Baily: Doc, you’ve got some red on you.
Harry Paratestes
May 4th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

#177 Ralph
The entire cast of FOOB will wear Seinfeld ‘Puffy Shirts’ and fur coats.
Phoebe
May 4th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Nice, straight forward, and simplistic. That’s how it’s done, Josh! Tell it like it is!
White Rabbit
May 4th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

A3G: Clearly LuAnn is falling victim to carbon monoxide poisoning. In a couple of weeks, more or less, she will be rescued by her gormless boyfriend, wossname.
juggernaut
May 4th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

Mark my words, LuAnn is building up to a finale of AMERICAN BEAUTY proportions.

Brad will be undressing Tiffany on the couch when she will confess that she’s a virgin (right after a gratuitous titty shot) (of her, not him).

They won’t have sex, but Brad will be unexpectedly killed by a bullet to the back of the head. The gun will be fired by TJ, in a rage over unrequited manlove.

LuAnn, meanwhile, will leave home for the big city w/ a suitcase full of bodacious weed and either Gunther or that other dork.

It’s all right in front of you, people.
Brendan
May 4th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

She may not have any friends or family, but her right middle finger is always there for her.
Cerebus
May 4th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

FC – Are Jeffy’s feet on upside down, i.e. heels up and toes down? My Gawd, that’s scary.

FOOB – Yes you are. Run with it.
Tim McDonough
May 4th, 2007 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Yes Liz, it is dumb, dumb, dumb and stupid, stupid, stupid that you appear to be taking a massive dump in the front seat of your car. Good news though; one panel later your constipated countenance is replaced with the Liz Patterson Patented Open-Mouthed Gape of Self-Pity.
Cerebus
May 4th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

OOP- sorry for the redundant FC comment.

#128 – In Canada, Moosehead is a beer and a misdemenor… suddenly I feel like Yakov Smirnov (eh?)
Maxim Gorky
May 4th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street deserves serious commentary. When a creepy-looking man in a creepy-looking comic is doing something creepy-looking with his hand between his legs…well…analysis is called for.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 4th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

#163,
Lizardmess, Cedric’s wife is real, or at least real to him. We’ve seen her. The open question is how she became Mrs Cedric. My guess: roofies, a Luger, and a very bribeable justice of the peace.
Poteet
May 4th, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

# 182 — reader, re MT, I’m putting my money on any or all of the following: dogs to chase the birds away, raptors (hawks or falcons, not dinosaurs) to harass the birds, elimination of food and habitat around the airport, and people using explosives and similar disturbing deterrents. As a wildlife geek, I’ve seen some of this stuff discussed. Also, there’s a current Navy proposal to build an airstrip in a NC location close to a wildlife refuge where the bird strike risk would be high, which I think would be (Margo)ing….oops. Very sorry. Rant over.
Mibbitmaker
May 4th, 2007 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Hey, when LuAnn from A3G finally dies, the other 2Gs should replace her as a roommate with…. Luann! If anything, it’ll allow her to escape her own comic strip, which is the humane thing to do.

I’d love to see a photoshopped group photo shot of the “new” A3G as invisioned above. It’d be funnier than my previous paragraph, too!
Mooncattie
May 4th, 2007 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

MT – One thing about John Hill, “Westville’s Airport Manager”: No Facial Hair! Balding, in fact. This guy is obviously not for sale, so no punches for him. Still, he ought to return his chair to the upright position.
Len
May 4th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

Mr. Hill — that hair transplant plug over your forehead is not fooling anyone into thinking that you’re not bald. The hand behing your head in panel one is kinda flirty for a government functionary… Then Mark is leaning forward with his right hand extended, and you offer him your LEFT hand? This would be confusing, except we don’t see that your fly is probably open. Will Mark give Hill a Lewinsky moment? Does anybody care?

Talk about Lollypop kids! Hey Trail.. suck on THIS!

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Mark_Trail
CrabbyGenes
May 4th, 2007 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

to #50 Hogen Mogen. Thanks. I had that word jotted down on a memo-pad next to the computer, but was too busy reading comments to stop and look it up. Now I don’t have to.
WithoutaK
May 4th, 2007 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Do you know what I find most interesting (or least dull) about Lu Ann’s current situation? The aftermath. Am I the only who thinks that regardless of whether Lu Ann lives or dies Margo’s reaction upon hearing what happened will be a head bobble in panel one, perhaps a startled/sad-like face in panel two, then a shrug and a careless glance over her shoulder in panel three as she somehow manipulates the conversation back to her own “problems”?
SecretMargo
May 4th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

192: I’m not sure how much I can offer in terms of “serious commentary,” but I can at least cite precedent:

http://joshreads.com/?p=783

Elderly onanism seems to be a trope on Ballrd Street. I…I’ve got nothin’ to say about that. Except maybe the Lockhorns could borrow this as a strategy to loosen some tension?
Lord Haw Haw
May 4th, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

I’m late with this, but the Blondie-cooking-breakfast strip reminded me of a good story about my cousin and her husband.

Want to hear it? I’ll tell you anyway.

One night, many years ago, my cousin’s husband stayed out all night, drinkin’ and carousin’ with his drinkin’ and carousin’ buddies.

He gets the brainstorm of inviting them all over to his place, so that my cousin, the wife, can prepare a tasty early morning breakfast for a bunch of sloppy drunks, sans notification. They all think this is a great idea.

? for the drinkin’ and carousin’ folks out there. Would YOU have gone to hub’s house? I would have avoided it like the plague, drunk or sober.

Without protest, my cousin, trooper that she is, proceded to cook a tasty breakfast (bacon and eggs, I believe) and serve it to hub’s motley crew.

She served hub last. She brought his plateful of the tasty breakfast to him and instead of setting it before him, she gave it a flick of the wrist and SPLAT! hub’s breakfast was on his face, instead of on the table, as you’d expect.

The boys bid a hasty adieu, and hub didn’t show his face downtown for a month.

I’d say he got off lightly for a case of near-felonious stupidity.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 4th, 2007 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

#201 Lord Haw-Haw: I love your story, and I also love the allusion inherent in your screen name.

Happy Spring everyone!
SecretMargo
May 4th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

200: Improbably enough, my Lockhorns masturbation joke is apparently redundant (122, Cranky). I’ll take nothing for granted here again (and my suggestion evidently doesn’t work, anyway. So Ballard Street is just granny porn with no redeeming value. Ah, well, better than it being FBoFW to cross that line, right? Oh wait … harems. And ice cream. Damn my memory!)
rich
May 5th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

JP: Wow, good thing the toy stores in Paris are open 24 hours! Good thing France doesn’t have any sissy regulations prohibiting the sale of realistic-looking toy guns!!

Paris + Cedric = …Awesome!
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 12:24 am [Reply]

5/5 —

Foob — Lizard, what a joy you must be to live with. Scarlett O’Hara was more mature and restrained.

DT — No one cares except me, but I’d still like to know what the (Saturn) happened to the (Boxcar)ing magic disappearing gun.

A3G — I’ve seen some sad things in A3G since this site got me hooked, but today’s strip sets the standard for “pathetic.”.
Dub Not Dubya
May 5th, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

A3G: Don’t worry, Luann won’t die. She has an emergency supply of air. Built into her head.
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
May 5th, 2007 at 12:59 am [Reply]

(All responses in Cockney to honor her Majesty’s visit.)

Family Circus – Ere’s wot thet lettle kepper Jeffy shouda said ‘ Ell, you ald caunt! Oyd wayjuh you erd’ et from bloody Aesop imself. ‘

Beetle Bailey- Oy, that feckin’ yank GI is weerin a gray uneeform. Whot’d he do? soin up wit the confedarate army?!

Herb and Jamaal – Sarah’s bloke can’t get ‘is todger ta work roight. Thet thah is comedy.
WithoutaK
May 5th, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

My god, Liz is such a drama queen (nothing new, I know). But today’s strip made me smile because as I read it I was listening to “Nobody Does It Like Me” from the musical Seesaw and realized the song suits Liz to a tee. The lyrics are amazingly apt and need little, if any, tweaking:

If there’s a wrong way to say it,
a wrong way to play it.
Nobody does it like me!

If there’s a wrong way to do it,
A right way to screw it up!
Nobody does it like me!

I’ve got a big loud mouth, I’m always talking much to free.
If you go for tact and manners,
better stay away from me!

If there’s a wrong way to keep it cool,
a right way to be a fool,
Nobody does it like me!

If there’s a wrong bell I ring it.
A wrong note I sing it!
Nobody does it like me!

If there’s a problem I duck it.
I don’t solve it; I just muck it up!
Nobody does it like me!

And so I try to be a lady,
I’m no lady; I’m a fraud!
And when I talk like I’m a lady,
What I sound like is a broad!

If there’s a wrong way to get a guy,
the right way to lose a guy!
Nobody does it like me!

Nobody does it NO!
Nobody does it,
Nobody does it like me.

Nobody does it like me!

PS- For anyone interested, there’s video of Shirley Bassey singing the longer version on YouTube. I highly recommend it. : )
Mibbitmaker
May 5th, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

Cinco de Mayo:

RMMD: Rex (thinking): “Oh, great! The asshat’s game plan! Dammit! Oh, well, I am a doctor… I know how to make it look like an accident…”

FOOB: Yep. First, a guy immediately thinks P.M.S. at a woman’s frustration. Then, as April seems to know, a female blaming all men for the not-really-sins of just one — and this one barely qualifies, at that. So… Yep; Healthy gender attitudes at hotel Patterson once again!

A3G: I was sure she’s either die or get rescued by today (Saturday)! Seems pretty close to meeting that guy in the robe from 9 Chickweed Lane, though.

(DT)GT: Antynna over there has less hair than Lisa Moore! Soon she’ll be the only young woman in America with a comb-over.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

5/5

OBH: Ruthie comes to terms with her mortality.

DtM: You just knew Grandpa was a bottom.

A3G: Luann’s life flashes before her eyes, in the form of cheesy clipart.

Kudzu: Rev Dunn is mercifully silent and faceless.

Marvin: For the love of God, do not go there!

DT: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/5&name=Dick_Tracy Dick’s auditioning for Funky Winkerbean.
etho
May 5th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Y’know, before I started visiting this site, I always hated For Better or For Worse. But now, I’m starting to appreciate it for the subtle showcase of existential despair that it is.
SecretMargo
May 5th, 2007 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: As much as it pains me to analyze this strip as if the characters were humans, I have to say: Paris [her name is Paris?!?], girlfriend, when you say “Oh, forget it!” to someone after she asks who else is coming, you have indeed uninvited her. She may be a conniving bitch with a self-mutilating boyfriend [...right?], but she’s just telling the truth here. Forgive her, her hairline is receding visibly even as you talk to her, it would make anyone bitter.

Also: What storyline is this? Ken leaving is the resolution of The Clambake Chronicles? Who are any of these people? When does the dismemberment start up again?
Mibbitmaker
May 5th, 2007 at 1:30 am [Reply]

5/5:

Cranky, or is it FW?: Great, some dipwad’s going to Eddie Haskell his way into gyping Comics John out of his need to replenish his inventory after the flooding disaster, all in the name of an investors’ (as opposed to readers’) market that bottomed out a decade ago. Which will, of course, lead to our sad sack, John, getting hysterical blindness, deafness, the plague, and cancer!

JP: Cedric’s a faker! FA-KER! FA-KER! FA-KER!…

MT: Mark’s voice gets lighter somehow in panel 2. And he’s sitting directly in front of baldy’s desk, but, in one nanosecond, baldy’s on the desk front in front of Mark! And, gee, ya think that’s the “young biologist” now? Gee, what a coincidence, huh?
SecretMargo
May 5th, 2007 at 1:34 am [Reply]

212: Oh my God, my second redundant joke in a row (209, Mibbitmaker) ! I am too slow for this site, obviously. And also….heh. Combover.
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Hooray, hooray, the fifth of May:

A3G: I guess LuAnn only knows five people well enough for them to make the final cut on her deathbed visions. Mind you, one of them is Tommie, and she doesn’t really count as a person, does she? I didn’t think so. Also, Alan looks an awful lot like Ted Forth in the upper right corner there, doesn’t he?

Judge Parker: I’m also surprised to learn that toy stores in Paris still sell realistic-looking toy guns. Perhaps Cedric’s toy Luger came from a “L’il Gruppenfuhrer” playset. Or perhaps he’s just a liar.

Mark Trail: What? Someone was actually eavesdropping on Mark and the balding airport guy’s conversation? For the love of god, WHY? It’s the dullest conversation in recorded human history!

Mary Worth: Papa Shields seems to be moving in to give Von a Bad Touch there. Oh, I know this is going to be a disappointing story, but I can’t help but imagine other, more interesting possibilities. Like, what if one of his “old-fashioned ways of thinking” involved the importance of cold water baths and vigorous scrubbing with a stiff wire brush? Or using zeppelins to travel instead of cars and planes? Or perhaps he still believed in Phlogiston? Please, give me something that isn’t going to be as fucking boring as “daddy left all the money to my brother.”

The Horror That Is FBOFW: So, how effective is a mental “SNORT!”, anyway? Liz’s refusal to ever say anything out loud is just getting weirder and weirder.
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 1:41 am [Reply]

Oh, I almost forgot:

TDIET: For those who don’t know, “Purple Love” was the short-lived soap opera starring Prince. It was okay, even though it only lasted for about a month. Morris Day played the mayor as well as the mayor’s evil twin brother “Felix.”
SecretMargo
May 5th, 2007 at 1:46 am [Reply]

Lockhorns: That’s funny, to me your marriage always seemed to favor domestic violins.
WithoutaK
May 5th, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

Stone Soup: I laughed. What can I say? I saw it coming a mile away but it’s so real I had to giggle. That and it reminds me of how I’m never sure if I should burst kids’ little bubbles about life or let them dream just a little longer.

Heart of the City: Mark Tatulli’s other strip doesn’t get mentioned here often, possibly because while it’s good like Lio, it doesn’t contain any squids. Still, I just wanted to say I really loved Dean’s statement in the third panel.

Also: Hot damn! My linking worked! (Just patting myself on the back, since I’m not techno savvy at all. Go me!)
Jym
May 5th, 2007 at 2:23 am [Reply]

=201= (Lord Haw Haw): I saw your cousin in Bizarro just about a week ago.

=v= Also, of course the Canadian geese honks in Foob are in word balloons coming out of cars. They need to counterbalance all the dialogue coming out of geese in Mark Trail. It’s a, whaddyacall, cultural exchange program.
Lynngineering
May 5th, 2007 at 2:41 am [Reply]

FBOFW:
April’s code: “M.E.N.” = “ME to the Nth degree”.

Since a few panels of FOOB I haven’t posted because it just goes on Michael Coma autodrive. He’s closing down, and along the way comes this increasingly childish fantasy against sis liz, such that she is soon reduced to Saturday, a bunch of rude, gestural grunts and a constipated face more belonging to Popeye. (Note April is the sentry, holding down the house, back in mid-drag queen mode, dolled but not truly dolled up, to do the…dishes?)

Michael not only messes with her mentally regarding Anthony, but has her acting more childish (in other words like Michael) and running, not walking, to her room to regress with Mr. Stuffed Bunny back where she knows she is in safe hands. Maybe the strip should just change to the perspective of this Mr. Bunny.

The fact Michael thinks Dad would even utter the term P.M.S. to his younger daughter shows his ongoing lack of authorial skills, and typical adolescent view of gender. It’s Michael all over this series. In reality Dad shudders to have to consider this word. Like how often did we see him mention menopause with Elly? Suddenly he’s mano-a-mano with April about female biology? Sure Michael…
Christian
May 5th, 2007 at 2:54 am [Reply]

“You know what they say- once you go wimpy dork, you never go back.”

Man I wish this were true, but all the gals who date me just end up lesbians.
And why the hate on for wimpy dorks? Granthony sucks ’cause of the ’stache, but needy desperate feminine wimps deserve love, dammit!

I’m not sure why we deserve love, but somebody should give us some.
Anyway I love this blog, but all the hating on needy nice guys annoys me
Christian
May 5th, 2007 at 3:01 am [Reply]

“Judge Parker: Iâ€™m also surprised to learn that toy stores in Paris still sell realistic-looking toy guns. Perhaps Cedricâ€™s toy Luger came from a â€œLâ€™il Gruppenfuhrerâ€ playset. Or perhaps heâ€™s just a liar.”

They still sell them in Australia
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 3:23 am [Reply]

#222 — Yeah, but that’s different. Australian children need to be familiar with guns so that they can take to the roads in their improvised dune-buggy warwagons when the apocalypse comes and gasoline becomes more precious than anything else. Banning realistic-looking toy guns would be like, I don’t know, banning leather jackets or hockey masks.
AppleGirl
May 5th, 2007 at 3:59 am [Reply]

(THTI)FOOB – Wow. Liz is having a complete mental breakdown. Seriously. This isn’t funny. She’s going postal. She’s getting ready to check into the Montage.
Dingo
May 5th, 2007 at 5:01 am [Reply]

What father â€” Canadian, American, or other â€” would ever ask his sixteen-year-old daughter if her older sister was suffering from premenstrual syndrome? That is what he meant by “P.M.S.”, isn’t it? It’s not some FOOBian abbreviation for something else like Patterson Maniac Syndrome or Paul Mtigwaki Surprise, right? I can’t wait for Papa Train to enter his daughter’s room and have a candid discussion with her about her “ladie’s time.”
The Avocado Avenger
May 5th, 2007 at 5:44 am [Reply]

FOOBian translation: “Your older sister, like all women, is upset. Obviously, it’s nothing important, as women do not need to worry about important things. April, is it because she’s going through that monthly reminder that all females are inferior to men?”
Barbara P
May 5th, 2007 at 6:37 am [Reply]

Wow. Lynn hates Liz even more than I initially thought. Not only will Liz inevitably end up with Granthony, but she will be GRATEFUL for it.

I can’t bear the cruelty, but I can’t turn away either.
fuzzmaster
May 5th, 2007 at 6:43 am [Reply]

Two things we learn about Foobland today:

1. In Canada, fathers are extremely curious about the timing of their daughters’ menses.

2. Changing one’s hairstyle, a rite of passage for 16-year-olds, also confers the gift of reading others’ minds.

Oh, and one more:

3. All true romance is preceded by utter depression.
Little A.
May 5th, 2007 at 6:53 am [Reply]

This is the first time I’m leaving a comment and probably won’t be the last.

No doubt about it, Clambake and these other fellows, I am sure this has been said before MANY TIMES — this is the WORST-DRAWN COMIC STRIP IN THE UNIVERSE. How did this nonsensical strip ever get accepted by a comics syndicate? It’s not carried by any New York City paper, so far as I know, unless it’s in some local paper on Staten Island, which proves that some of us down here have a little sense. That being said, I must quote from Holden Caulfield (who undoubtedly would agree) IT’S SO PUTRID I CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT. Actually the drawing style would have been right at home in the second and third rate comic books in the 1940’s and early 1950’s.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 6:54 am [Reply]

JP I think Cedric’s a little too keen to let the darling relatives of his current employer know he was carrying a real Lugar, since he’d (a) have a lot of ’splainin’ to do back at Chez Wrinkle, and (b) how would that reassure him he’s not a mild-mannered butler? I say it was real and he lied to them. They didn’t seem to know the difference, and what they don’t know won’t hurt him.
I don’t want to give up on Super Buttle just yet. He’s the only positive hetero male figure in serial comicdom right now who isn’t weak or stupid or a professor of nosyology.
(I know I am one of the few who still say Sam is straight, but since he didn’t respond to Abbey’s obvious invitation before she left for Paris, he’s CRIMINALLY stupid.)
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 7:07 am [Reply]

MT Yeah, yeah, bring in the guest starring Young Hunk, as if appealing to the younger crowd will spark a revivial in readership with its relevancy, or that there are legions of squealing teenyboppers who avidly follow Mark Trail. Fists o’ Justice, that’s hawt! 1100101!

You know that National Geographic is in a bidding war to mount and display Rusty as a freak of nature. It’s not my place to judge… but for the sake of non-hurling I imagine they will put a bag over his head before they mount him.
mcmc
May 5th, 2007 at 7:10 am [Reply]

RM: Has anyone pointed out yet that Avery, jr. looks like Donald Trump in a blond wig?
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 7:11 am [Reply]

#230 — I still harbor suspicions that Cedric is on the grift. The setup is too perfect, for one thing: he immediately got on the good side of the old lady who bitches at everyone constantly, he’s overly solicitous to the rich young heiress, he magically appears to rescue said heiress from conveniently inept thugs…either he really is the Canadian Superman, or he’s running a scam.

I’m not sure which option I’d prefer, either. Is it better when there’s no twist at all and everything is exactly as it appears, or is it better when there is a twist but it is exactly the stereotypical one you were expecting all along? Why does this whole storyline make me pine for the days when the comic was all about a local election, with accusations of homosexuality and “I’ll deny you, missy!” being flung all over the place at random?
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 7:18 am [Reply]

MW It made me wince just to read it.

And it was a tad confusing. Which “Old-fashioned way of thinking” does she mean? From the way the old guy is looking at the boy he’s got curled up to his hip, I can’t tell if Vera is jealous, a prude or anguished over a variation of a Sophie’s Choice-like guilt.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 7:25 am [Reply]

#233 Trilobite – Cedric’s grifthood possibilities are still on the scales for me too, but whichever it is, I hope it will be a pleasant surprise and really good twist when it all comes down to it. I agree, he’s just too slick to be Noble Jeeves but in that case, dammit, I want to see a shady character with some real balls for a change.
AhClem
May 5th, 2007 at 7:36 am [Reply]

Between Liz’s self-loathing, Vera’s non-stop Thought Bubbles O’Despair ™ and FW’s “Cancers R’ Us” storyline, the comics page is turning into one massive black hole of depression and angst. Cue up Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Alone Again Naturally.”

Of course, now that Margo!Boxcar!Saturn! song is going to be stuck in my head the rest of the day.
Ape
May 5th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Is MW gearing up for a good old-fashioned sexism story? Because I’m kind of reading today’s strip as setup for “V-Dad favors Von, leaves all the money to him, Von tells Vera he’ll split it with her before he gets the money but won’t part it with once he has it, Vera calls down curses and hexes upon him”.

Maybe the women’s shelter incident wasn’t because MW hates women, it just hates poor women.
OohShiny
May 5th, 2007 at 7:41 am [Reply]

#83

Honked by his own canard?
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

Gil Thorpe TO THE EXTREEEME!

(An interesting optical illusion: If you look at my modified version for a bit and then click View Original, the GT characters will actually look human, if only for a second or two. The mind is a mysterious thing.)
TurtleBoy
May 5th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

TDIET: Who’da thought J. Lo was a fan of Al Scaduto?
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

#220 Lynngineering – I sincerely mean it when I say, your interpretation of the FBoFW strip as seen through Michael’s coma is one of the reasons I take such a thorough delight in coming here. You really put a wonderful amount of study into it that is not only hilarious but is just so on-the-mark, and now I’m thinking of it foremost in the coma state. A coma from Michael’s POV, that is.

Anyone who knows me will vouch for my being in a coma-like state, but hey, to hell with them and their bald honesty.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 8:21 am [Reply]

9CL: I’ve been enjoying the Grim Reaper series in this strip. Cat lovers’ alert: Yesterday’s and today’s installments are funny and adorable.

DT: This is kind of ewww! But how did they know it is a woman’s body from just shining a flashlight into the smokestack? She went down head first, so all they should be able to see are the soles of her feet and maybe, if her legs are somewhat apart… EWWW!

RMCHAUFFEUR: I’m kind of enjoying this story line, because I keep thinking that Avery Jr. IS Donald Trump, and I’m always happy to see the Donster suffer in any small way at all. (Even better would be suffering in a big way.)

And: Good morning everyone! I need coffee!
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

Oh, and Lynngineering: I echo all that True Fable said. Your coma-dissections are brilliant, funny, and probably totally accurate.

Dean Booth: GREAT Gil Thorpe! You have captured the true look of the aliens when they are not attempting their human disguises.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 8:24 am [Reply]

#239 Dean Booth: Those folks would make a fortune renting out their skin space for henna tattoo ads.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

#205 Poteet, my Queen! – Oh honey lamb, cousin Scarlett would have been mortified to have been compared with anyone that far north, much less Liz Patterson.
Lynngineering
May 5th, 2007 at 9:17 am [Reply]

#241 True Fable and #243 O’Fogeyette: Blushing! You know I feel a cadre group among the C.C.s, who feel it worth to take on Lynn with her own material as it were. You two are tops on a special list among those who set benchmarks on the C.C. in general.
Kate
May 5th, 2007 at 9:21 am [Reply]

I realize others have mentioned this already, but Papa John FOOB is inquiring about his daughter’s menstrual cycle.

Papa John FOOB is inquiring about his daughter’s menstrual cycle.

Papa John FOOB is inquiring about his daughter’s menstrual cycle.

Papa John FOOB is inquiring about his daughter’s menstrual cycle.

Papa John FOOB is inquiring about his daughter’s menstrual cycle.
Weasel Boy
May 5th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

They’ll Do it Every Time…unless you have Tivo, in which case they will never do it, because you can just hit “pause.”
calico
May 5th, 2007 at 9:27 am [Reply]

FOOB – lack of S. E. X.

Yes, Billy, pig’s blood and good ol’ vanilla are best kept seperate.

FW – even cancer husband has to be a smartass. Too bad there’s not a Louisville Slugger available.

3G – Luann, just DIE already. I swear I’ll be older than Moses by the time she croaks. Then I guess it’ll be “Apartment 2G”

Wille – I did receive my mug and duds Thursday and I LOVE them so much I even did a head bobble when I opened the box. Coffee tastes oh so good in my beautiful M!B!S! mug! The shape is really nice and the design is (Margoing) wonderful.
Thanks!
calico
May 5th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

#247 – Uh, oh, the Internet’s stuck again!
Boxcaring stupid thing.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

#221, I feel where you’re coming from, really I do. If being kind of a dork is a crime, lock me up. And if there’s a hint that Granthony is a great interesting person on the inside, I for one will lay off. So far that hasn’t happened.
Plinko Commie
May 5th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

And what’s the deal with using periods for acronyms? Is it like the New York Times, where acronyms that you spell out get periods (N.B.A., U.N.) and ones you say as a word get spelled like a word (Nascar, Nafta)?

Oh wait. Periods. PMS. It’s so bad that even her period’s having periods.

Etmyology freaks: How did period (.) and period (measure of time) come from the same word? I assume period (yucky girl stuff) is evolved from the latter. And why are so many punctuation marks gross (period, colon, semicolon)?
Weasel Boy
May 5th, 2007 at 10:05 am [Reply]

#252, Plinko: Just to clear up the terminology, only abbreviations that spell out something or can be pronounced as a word are acronyms; everthing else is an abbreviation. SCUBA (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus) is an acronym. NBA is an abbreviaton.
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ®â„¢Â©
May 5th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! ASSUME THE POSITION AND PUCKER UP! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

CHENNUX UNDERSTANDS THAT HE MAY BE INVITED TO SHAWNA-MARIEâ€™S NUPTUALS! CHENNUX IS NOT SURE OF PROTOCOL AT EARTHER WEDDINGS! CHENNUX DEMANDS ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS!

CHENNUX HAS A LIGHT BLUE TUXEDO WITH A RUFFLED SHIRT THAT HE ONCE WORE TO HIS SENIOR YEAR SLAUGHTERING OF THE MYNXAE! HOWEVER, CHENNUX HAS BULKED UP SINCE THEN! WHO CAN HANDLE ALTERATIONS? AAckTTpth, Iâ€™M LOOKING AT YOU!

IS A GIFT EXPECTED? WHATâ€™S THE PRICE RANGE? IN POTATOES? ILSAMORADA GIRL! CHENNUX DEMANDS YOUR ASSISTANCE IN GIFT SELECTION!

IS THERE FOOD AT EARTHER WEDDINGS? ARE OTHER GUESTS CONSIDERED AS PREY? POTEET! YOU WILL RESPOND!

DOES THIS WEDDING TAKE PLACE WHERE DEITIES ARE ACKNOWLEDGED? CHENNUX IS A LAPSED QUANTUM-MELKARIAN BUT CAN DIG UP THE HORNED HELMET AND PASTIES IF PRESSED! Oâ€™FOGEYETTE, MORE COFFEE!

AND RED GREENBACK, ARE YOU CARPOOLING WITH APPLEGIRL? YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!

JUST IN CASE SOME LESSER BEING GETS INVITED BY THE ONE CALLED LIZARDBREATH, NON-SHANNON! WE ARE CRASHING IT! AND I MEAN CRASHING! HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION! AND HOPEFULLY, THIS THREAD!
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 10:27 am [Reply]

252 PC:

Etymologies of colon (large intestine) vs. colon (:), which come from different Greek roots, and period (all senses of which come from the same Greek root), are linked here.

So is (DT)GT an abbreviation, whereas TDIET is an acronym (tuh-di-et)? Can THTIFOOB be pronounced? (thittyfoob?)
Cranky
May 5th, 2007 at 10:44 am [Reply]

203: SecretMargo, Lockhorns masturbation jokes are a dime a dozen around here. Improbable indeed!

Cathy masturbation jokes are, however, rare, and I highly encourage anyone to jump into this under-served market.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

254 Chennux: I would be honored to prepare coffee for your magnificence, either before or after the wedding. These days I’m very into Moka Java from Trader Joe’s. If that doesn’t suit your fancy, I might be able to whip up a shade-grown Arabica from one of Saturn’s moons.

As for the horned helmet and pasties, I believe they are always in fashion, at all places of worship.
willethompson
May 5th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

#255 stinky pete – Thittyfoob? YETH! It workth on tho many levelth!
The late John Lennon
May 5th, 2007 at 11:11 am [Reply]

147: *I* was the walrus!! Paul wasn’t the walrus!! I was just saying that to be nice but *I* was actually the walrus!!!
Sir Paul McCartney
May 5th, 2007 at 11:14 am [Reply]

You never let me be the walrus!

Damn you, John – damn you to hell!
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

#256 Cranky: Cathy(MD!!) would probably like to masturbate but her hands refused. ACK! Turned down by herself, no wonder the girl’s got issues!

Irving’s idiotic grin is not because his wife is miserable, but because he kept his old sock “just in case”. Just in case what, Irv? In case she won’t cooperate with herself, or because she can’t friggin’ REACH AROUND HER OWN STOMACH?

Either way, Cathy MUST die. Hurry, kill before they spawn!
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Dilbert: Scott Adams’ commentary on his rejected Chair Butt strip are pretty funny.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

On the other hand, Cathy fails at so many things, it’s just too easy. Just let her go buy something, she always gets off on that.
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

oops, replace commentary with comments or are with is, your choice.
queek
May 5th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

I actually chuckled at Les’s little comment in F(cancer)W.

9CL proves that even Death is no match for a Siamese. (mrow)

MT: *votes for hot young female biologist* (o wait, this is MT, where only the gynormous animals are drawn welly.)

Luanne: Tiffany probably did have to check that Brad was straight. The TJ rumors are all over the place.

more information on self-love in the comics can be found in the Pajama Diaries today.

The deadly elephant herd from MT showed up in Hagar today. At least we can only *hope* that the elephants will slaughter them.
mere cog in the machine
May 5th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

CURTIS: I am fascinated by the introduction of Gunther’s father, Paw-Paw. I don’t believe he is Gunther’s father at all, but rather a demented and misshapen Ronald Mcdonald, twisted and deformed by the Gods of Imaginary Charactors and transported by their feckless whims to the comic strip ‘Curtis’. Confused and angered at his inexplicable fate, “Paw-Paw” lashes out at his perceived antagonists in a stilted, ethnic dialect, until finally silenced by Gunther, who, sadly, “Paw-Paw” fervently believes to be Mayor McCheese.
Islamorada Girl
May 5th, 2007 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Confidential to the Emp: At Earther unions, a fifty pound sack of potatoes is always an appropriate present. Immediately following the religious service, it is customary for the wedding guests to
stand outside the place of worship and lob tubers at the bride and groom as they emerge from the building. It is considered a sign of great good fortunte for their future union if as many tuberous vegetables as possible hit them directly about the head and shoulders. Your magmacannons will be very useful here, so don’t forget to pack them!

MMMMWHA! Love ya, Big Green Guy!

I-Girl
dreadedcandiru2
May 5th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

FW .: Lightbulb cancer?
FboFW: Please let John be diagnosed with chauvinistic muttonhead cancer.
Crankshaft: And the yuppie dipshit with greasy asswipe cancer.
calico
May 5th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

#263 – Shopping as an (attempted) substitute for playing with your shrub or whacking your porcupine (apologies to Bernard Kliban on that last one).
Now that must be satisfying, eh, Cathy? If this is the case, you must be a half million dollars in debt.
td
May 5th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

FOOB: At what point did I come to think so little of Pa Patterson that I expect tomorrow’s strip to show him offering to pull Liz’s string for her? You know, to be a supportive dad.

Probably the seeds were planted by the model train thing, but I tried to remember that everyone needs a hobby. I know it was on the radar when he shared his crevasse with a group of teenaged boys. But I think it must have been when he sat on the edge of his daughter’s bed and discussed her love life (pushing her toward Stash, IIRC). It’s baffling how every Foobian character, while retaining slight reminders of being unique individuals, like hair color or stuttering or that engineer’s hat, has morphed into the same Thing that Instills Loathing.
april glaspie
May 5th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: So, Von and Vera appear to be in their twenties, right? And they were certainly at least budding teens when that sporty flashback took place, right? So, if they never wanted for anything, why were they playing with a couple of Davis Imperials the McEnroe brothers gave to the Goodwill in 1975?

And after the whizbang, whiplash action of the dashing tennis players, won’t the strip get the vapors of particular glaciality for about six months?Whoo! Let me catch my breath.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

#269 calico – maybe that’s why she freaks out so much every year when she makes her annual pilgrimmage to her accountant and spends a couple of miserable weeks. It takes her that long to hem and haw around so she won’t have to admit she rides a credit card reader to blissville. This year she lucked out and buried it all under Irving’s plasma tv.

Yeah, plasma tv – pffft, suuuure, Cathy.
Porky
May 5th, 2007 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

Dean Booth, you have waaay too much free time. (Luckily for those of us who enjoy your alternate-universe comic strips!) Keep up the great work!
calico
May 5th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

#272 – heh good one – The credit card machine – Cathy’s version of a Sybian.
willethompson
May 5th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

#274 Calico – Now I will have to chemically expunge the image of Cathy riding an ATM Sybian-style where the card pops in and out of the slot and…

ewwwwwww.
gh
May 5th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

#64 Dingo, #174 Uncle Lumpy –

Too long it’s been. Great, great parodies!

#208 WithoutaK —

Is that the same as the Carly Simon “Nobody Does it Better”? It works just as well.

News flash!

I saw Brynna! I saw Brynna! I’m at a graduation commencement purgatorial weekend, which includes not 1, but 2 brunches [Friday & today] and at yesterday’s, in she walked. Actually, “she” was a young, tall (6′+), thin, light-skinned African-American co-worker with her hair pulled back in a tight bun held in place with two blue enamel-painted chopsticks shoved in at the angles of a railroad crossing sign. I called it weeks ago! Chopsticks! Ha! Although I’ve never seen blue enamel-painted chopsticks on this planet, so maybe she was an alien. I don’t know her well enough to speak to her, and I suppose it would be a real faux pas to walk up to her and say, “Excuse me. Just what planet are you from?” She sat at the table in front of me and I’m biting my cheek to keep from screaming “Brynna! Brynna! I can’t believe it!”

I also saw a “Two Men and a Truck” truck. Overall, a full weekend.

Well, off to another interminable puchbowl reception. Play nice, everyone!
Laura Jane
May 5th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Just how much facial hair will the young biologist be sporting? Oh dear, I have to wait until Monday to find out because the Houston Chronicle keeps the Sundays away from us freeloaders.

I hope he has a soul patch. If he has facial hair then it will turn out that while he seems at first to be a nice young biologist earning only the smallest yearly stipend, it will be revealed that he is actually taking enormous bribes by the airport to kill off endangered species on the sly. And Mark will find all this out by following the lead of a single feather. And his rage at discovering how the young biologist has besmirtched the good name of biology will force Mark to smash that soul patch to hell.
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 5th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

#221 Christian:

And why the hate on for wimpy dorks? Granthony sucks â€™cause of the â€™stache, but needy desperate feminine wimps deserve love, dammit!

You make an excellent point sir! While Granthony is despicable for being passive aggressive, manipulative, and most especially for dumping his emotional baggage on Liz moments after the Erk Incident, prehaps we should ask ourselves: “Is The ‘Stache not a man, and a brother?”

I know that I heap on the hate because of my own inner longing to be as solid as the Spectacular Spider Brick, as studly as MT with his Fists o’ Justice, as rugged as Super Buttle, and catnip to the ladies. As a kid, I avidly watched Captain Kirk’s fight scenes, which were extra good when he employed the double hand clasped punch and ended with a torn shirt and a tiny smear of blood on his mouth.

Alas, the life I chose did not entail the building of mighty pecs, the running of guns, high stakes Baccarat… Margo Boxcar Saturn!!

CA-A-A-I-NE!!
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

277 LJ You can always go to the Washington Post or Seattle Post-Intelligencer web sites for Sunday comics. The Post carries MT.
MonkeyHawk
May 5th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Off with the “More Zippers, Mule” t-shirt, Mitzi.

Gotta send a tickler to Chennux, this galaxy’s “emperor” from UNIVERSAL OVERLORD FLOYD:

Chenny, there’s the little matter of past-due taxes you should be clearing up before you consider recreational travel, even to a Canadian wedding. (Are you supposed to be a bridesmaid? Can’t you wear the gown you purchased for the Iowa Pork Queen competition? At least the size 46-VVVVVV pumps?)

You really need to economize, Chenny. Pony up the spuds (or equivilent in Zambian Kwachas) and you might be able to get your magmacannons out of hock.

Sincerely, UNIVERSAL OVERLORD FLOYD
by MonkeyHawk, etc. etc.

Oh, and add a personal PS to Chenny: Do NOT allow AppleGirl to catch the bouquet at the wedding. She might get ideas and you can’t afford ‘em. — MH

Copy this to the Comics Curmudgeons, Mitzi. You can put your t-shirt back on. But wet it down first, okay?
RedLion
May 5th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

I enjoy Joshâ€™s sniping, but I sometimes wish heâ€™d focus on more than the same repeating 20 or so cartoons.

I haughtily and arrogantly disagree. This is where I come to verify that my incredulity at the comics that Josh frequently posts are shared.

I do so love FW though.

Leave them alone to live their depressing (and, in the case of the two young lovebirds, horribly Freudian sexually angst-ridden) existences!
Strangerâ€¦
May 5th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

GF: This is getting silly. Is there a kickback from the architects who built the Sears Towers? (Skidmore, Owings and Merrill, in case you were wondering…)
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

Speaking of MT, bald airport guy is attempting to strike the same pose as moustachioed airport guy and Cherry but with considerably less success.
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

# 221 — Christian, you have a sense of humor. That in itself separates you from Angsthony, who merely thinks he has one (or Lynn thinks he has one, which amounts to the same thing). I like nice guys. It’s Angsthony I don’t like.

# 242 — BWAHAHA! Your DT comment is excellent, O’F. And yes, if 9CL were all cats all the time, I’d put it on my list.

# 245 — Sir Fable MTK, thank you for the reminder that I really should apologize to Scarlett. Actually, I’ve never understood why she is often iconized as a ditz. Yes, she was sometimes melodramatic and not very perceptive, and we won’t get into her politics, but she ran a lumber business, for cryin’ out loud. Herself. In the 1860s. Compared with her, Lizard is Total Ditzville.

# 246 — Lyngineering, I too admire your analytical abilities.
Tomcat
May 5th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Luann: God dammit, Brad! Send that sleazy cheerleader slut packing before she messes up your head!

And another thing, Brad’s still exaggerating about his relationship/friendship with Toni? Maybe now they have something going, but before, they were merely on the borderline of a love relationship, and never went any further, thanks to that muscle-bound behemoth who kept hovering in the picture.
AhClem
May 5th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

MT – The mystery biologist will be none other than Kelly Welly, in yet another career incarnation. She will squeal and run to Mark, knocking him flat and causing him to utter “What The…!”
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

# 254 — Your Imperial Excellency, most weddings do have food. It varies greatly in quantity and quality. Some other sociologically-enlightened Curmudgeons seem to know more than I do about what to expect at Shawna-Marie’s wedding, based on what we’ve (gag) learned about it so far. I hope they will chime in with any gustatory insights.

Also, most weddings have alcoholic beverages. At some weddings, guests can drink freely, literally. At other weddings, guests are expected to pay for most of whatever alcohol they consume. However, free champagne is usually provided at the tables.

Also, Your Excellency, if forks are tapped on glasses in unison by all the wedding guests, this is not a signal to commence ritual screaming, but is instead a signal to the bride and groom that they are supposed to kiss. No matter how inconvenient it may be for them to do so. Earthling guests who have been subjected to this ritual at their own weddings have no intention of not inflicting it on other brides and grooms.

Your question about guests as prey is an interesting one, with two answers. The first is that the consumption of guests as food is generally frowned upon. On our planet, this is seldom even attempted, partly because extremely serious legal difficulties are likely to ensue. However, if Your Excellency feels irresistably impelled to ingest a guest or two, I’m sure that we attending Curmudgeons would be happy to recommend a few guests for whom we have a particular dislike.

The second answer, however, is that Earth weddings are legendary as pickup events, so guests are “prey” in that sense. There is something about a wedding that can cause even the most unlikely people to engage in sexual coupling, and I’m not talking about the bride and groom. Some of the strangest hookups in Earth history have occurred before, during, and after weddings. I will say no more on the grounds that I might incriminate myself.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

I did not see this mentioned, which does not mean it hasn’t been, so apologizing in advance if this is old news:

On Jon Stewart I think Thursday night he had a bit, with graphics, of Hillary Clinton as Cathy, complete with AAACK! It was pretty amusing. Maybe it’s up on YouTube.
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Okay, what’s happened to STEVE CANYON? I need my Saturday fix!
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 5th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

“Rubes” is a Far Side knockoff that doesn’t usually register with me, and I can’t recall seeing it commented on here. But I have to say that today’s panel is weirdly exhilirating. To me, anyway.

Professor Krueger’s rubbery legs, his elongated, tubular torso, heavy lidded ecstatic espression, his presumed nether regions hovering mere inches from the floor all add up to a WTF moment.

However, the watching snakes just ruin it for me. The snakes should be oblivious, silently exuding their reptile smells. Way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, you… you Rubes artist, you!
Eric The Grate
May 5th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

By the way, I think it’s awesome that the person yelling at Liz is in a car alongside her. Think about it: he’s either driving while yelling out the window, which is dangerously distracting, or he stopped at the light and held up the cars behind him just to give Liz an earful. This just goes to show that even throwaway background characters in the FOOBiverse completely lack any common sense.
Gulielma
May 5th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

To the tune of “Try to Remember”, from “The Fantasticks”:

Try to remember FOOB ends in September–

Now the strip is slow and Liz Breath bellows.

Try to remember FOOB ends in September

Now Mike’s an author with a spine of Jello

Try to remember when FOOB was still clever

And follow.
Naomi
May 5th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

#123 – It must have been the lack of sleep, because I understood them perfectly:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Spot
In the previous day’s comic, Spot responded to the criticism that he should sit on four legs instead of two, by noting that he only has two legs. Consequently, in this comic, he is so upset that he soils himself. Painfully. Then the other frog makes fun of him.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Barney_Google
The patient offers to prove his healthy appetite by eating the bagged and tagged remains of a doctor and a nurse.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070504&name=Redeye
Loathsome ethnic stereotypes are funny!

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/4&name=Strange_Brew
Erm, yeah, I don’t get this one either.
Beauregard Bugleboy
May 5th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

MF — Whenever Bruce Tinsley does something particularly stupid (I know, it’s a matter of degree), my paper substitutes one of his less-stupid older strips. It did so today, so I naturally went online to see what he’d done this time. He had revived the Jesse Jackson “Hymietown” quote. Did other newspapers also take offense at his running this ethnic slur, or was mine the only one?
Vince M.
May 5th, 2007 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

288: Yeah, I saw that – the comparison was made on her being on a tv show talking diets and shoes with the interviewer. Ack!
Squid Countess
May 5th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

#290 Spotted Horse – My first encounter with Rubes was in the UT-Knoxville Daily Beacon when I was in grad school, and I couldn’t believe that such a big university couldn’t find a better student cartoonist; because Rubes is just a piece of shit, neither funny nor well drawn. When I found out it wasn’t student-submitted work, but in fact a syndicated cartoon, I was totally mystified, and I still am. Everyone who posts here on CC is wittier than the Rubes “writer” and I imagine we can all draw that well. How in the hell did Rubes ever get syndicated?

FOOB – Hey, what if Shawna-Marie’s wedding were Shawna and Marie’s wedding? That would be kinda cool. I was thinking how I want to go with everybody to the inevitable Liz-Anthony unholy union so we can mock them unmercifully and then, “Liz-Anthony” “Shawna-Marie”…hmm. The groom is never mentioned. And there’s a rainbow theme.

Yesterthread- I was laughing my butt off at the wedding reception remarks in a yesterthread, except for when somebody equated the B-52’s Love Shack with the macarena and the chicken dance. Nuh-uh! Love Shack is a great song that you can really dance to. I’m glad I could straighten that out.

Poteet, O’Fogyette, Rich and any other Theodore and Castoria ’shippers – It’s small consolation, but it is something. If you haven’t seen it yet, go on over to You Tube and search “otters holding hands” for just the sweetest scene since Theodore put his arm around Cass’s shoulder. It’s a minute and 40 second video, with the the real Mark Trail moment at 1:23. Check it out!

Off Topic – OK, Thursday’s CSI. The delusional brunette who thought she was Xena killed Chyna Grove, at the behest of Mr. Grove, who was played by Veronica Mars’ dad/the photographer from Just Shoot Me, didn’t she? So why was the stewardess from Airplane! spitting at him in the end? I think I dozed off at a pivotal point.
Captain Insano
May 5th, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else read “Kevin & Kell?”

Is anyone else as creeped out by the predator/prey jokes that run every damn day?
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

296 Squid Countess: O.M.G. That is the cutest thing I have ever seen! Thanks for sharing it.

Re CSI: who has time to watch tv? I spend all my spare time here!
Jamus The Bartender
May 5th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

242. DT: It’s all those DNA Doohickeys and Discovery Channel gadgets Dick mentioned in the Crimestopper’s Textbook. Personified here by a flashlight.
kippetje2000
May 5th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

HAHAHAHAH: Resusci LuAnne! I still say she’s having some kind of gas attack. Her cheeks are flushed. And we’re gearing up for a Snow White revival tonguing from Cowboy boyfriend.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
May 5th, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

BALLOT STUFFING ALERT! Please take a moment to go to the U of Arizona website at http://www.arizonaathletics.com/. Near the top of the page there is a link to vote for Caitlin Lowe to win the Lowe award (no relation). It’s for a combination of grades, community service, and athletic prowess. Caitlin deserves this award, but right now she’s only got 9% of the votes. She is breaking Arizona, Pac-10, and NCAA records right and left. Plus she is wonderful and exciting to watch. Please vote for her! Thanks!
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Well, I just saw my baby girl off to her senior prom. Anyone want to join me in a few verses of “Sunrise, Sunset?” *sniff*
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

301 O’F: Since the leader had only 19%, perhaps we can indeed successfully stuff the ballot box. I voted! It was fun! Curminions Unite!
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 5th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

#296 Squid Countess:

Rubes is just a piece of shit, neither funny nor well drawn. When I found out it wasnâ€™t student-submitted work, but in fact a syndicated cartoon, I was totally mystified, and I still am.

Of course you are right… so much of syndicated comics are twaddle. I mean, “Drabble” (a daily crapacopia) consists of
diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle in keeping with today’s thread’s recurring theme of onanism.

For a time, as a coping mechanism I used to cut out comics that offended me and draw my own very abasively mocking versions using the same dialogue. How odd to find out many years later that so many others are so inclined!
Ribinin
May 5th, 2007 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Squid Countess @ 296 – Thank you so much for the heads-up on the otters holding hands and just seeming to relax and enjoy each ~~otter’s~~ other’s company.

And that moment when they re-connected!! *sniff*
Harry Paratestes
May 5th, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I voted for Caitlin, but many others were equally cute.
Harry Paratestes
May 5th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

O’Fogeyette
Is Caitlin related to you?
Harry Paratestes
May 5th, 2007 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Each of you that remembers Calvin and Hobbes should go watch this. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mwWKcYjEj0&NR=1
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
May 5th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

Popping in briefly to note that, according to that expert on Canadian customs linked above (way, way, way above), it is customary to assume that all Canadian women are married (thus the injunction to address them all as “Mrs.” whatever).

There should be something funny that follows from this, relating to FOOB, but there’s nothing funny about FOOB.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

#301 O’Fogeyette, you will is my will. I have voted for the esteemed Ms. Lowe.

Come on, Curmudgeonites! If we can stuff the ballot box and put Starving Rock at #1, we can put Caitlin on top too!

oooh. I would scold myself for that but I just…can’t…quite…do it. Heh. ;)
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#302 stinky pete, I would if I could sing. My son is also a senior this year. He goes to a small [mq]alternative[/mq] high school, where most of the kids are outsider types; not many of them go to the prom at the large affiliated HS.

I’m sure gonna miss him when he goes to college. You can’t watch every episode of MST3K with somebody and not have a special bond. Ah, the satisfaction I get from telling him “You ain’t got no good way go boy!” or asking “You want ham, Hugo?” (sorry if that makes no sense).

Sunrise…. Sunset…
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Oh, and I voted O’F.
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#296 Squid Countess – I went to watch the otters holding hands (the best part was after they let go and the one floated around and reached out and grabbed the other one’s paw again. What an “awww!” moment.

Then I wandered around and found fainting goats, and I had to watch every fainting goat vid I could find. From there I went to some pygmy goats and all I could do was sit and say “awwww, lookie at the liddle goats.” for thirty minutes in all.

I’m such a pushover for goats, they are just so damn charming. :-)
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

#311 Dean Booth – My sons and I can quote the entire “This Island Earth” MST3000 treatment.

We played it during my daughter’s 15th birthday party and had to stop the tape at “Do you recognize me now, June?” part because everyone was laughing too hard to catch the rest. It took almost 5 minutes before the crowd was ready to start it again. Needless to say, it was a BIG hit for about a dozen teenagers.
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

#314. I love it True.

One night during a thunderstorm when the electricity went out, he and I used a flashlight to put on a shadow puppet play for his mom based on The Day the Earth Froze. “…Where is the multicolored dome!?”

Amazing show. I wonder if they know how much fun they brought to families.
Luna
May 5th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

#302 stinkypete

…is this the little girl I carried….?

De-lurking because you are one of my favorite posters and your post tugged at my heart, so here’s a shoulder for you. At least you’re not discussing PMS with her…

I’m in your shoes also, got a sr. boy and a college sr. boy who’s not coming home this summer due to the fact that he’s met this girl…..
True Fable
May 5th, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

#302 stinkypete: my daughter went to prom all 4 years of high school (she’s incredibly cute. her brothers screened her dates in their own inimitable fashion, as did I.)

By senior year I was ready to cry, she grew up so quick and turned out so well.

The boys, on the other hand, went to their proms with a less than serious attitude. They only straightened up when sis was around because she made their boutoninieres. It became a family tradition.

…I don’t remember growing older, when – did – they…?
Islamorada Girl
May 5th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

O’F–I voted for Caitin. I love using my powers for evil, not good.
Winning one for the Cat Lady!

How long has 3G been meandering around without any storyline?
Moses and crew wandered the desert in less time and space.
fizzy logic
May 5th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

#296 – Squid Countess – On CSI, let’s see if I recall this correctly as I was dozing off too, but he was actually the one that killed Chyna and she was the one that helped him cover it up and was duped by him in the process, hence the spitting. He was found naked in the desert and his clothes were found in her car. The story line was rather (unecessarily) complicated. Perhaps they will rerun it for us.

Thanks for the oh-so-cute otter vid suggestion.

#301 – O’Fogeyette – I went to vote for Caitlyn and then I saw there was a girl from UW in contention. Sorry, can’t vote against my girl from my school without more info, so I’ll do a little research first and see what I can do. I’m sure you understand.

#302 – stinky pete – sunrise, sunset…She’s soooo much more mature than Elizabeth Patterson….sunrise, sunset….She doesn’t dress like a whore like April Patterson….sunrise, sunset….You’re such a good dad!!!!
MonkeyHawk
May 5th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

True Fable –

I’m sorry if this brings you down, but there’s sad news among the goat-lover community.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6619983.stm

(I’m told the widower will rear the kid as his own.)
Eridani
May 5th, 2007 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

Lol wow, I thought I was the only one who read that solipsism article on Wikipedia…
WithoutaK
May 5th, 2007 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

gh: Looking at it again, I realize “Nobody Does It Better” does fit! Freaky, but I prefer Bassey’s “â€¦Like Me;” it’s peppier.

Squid Countess: The otters were unbelievably adorable, thank you so much for pointing them out. And as for CSI, it’s one of the few shows I make any effort to view regularly and pay close attention to and yet I still find myself baffled during the “dÃ©nouement” scenes, so you might not necessarily have missed anything. ; )
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

#301 — As the University of Arizona is in fact my alma mater, I have cast my vote as requested. I believe that this fulfills all my obligations as an alumni from this point forward, so when the UA sends me letters asking me to donate, I will now merely shred them (as opposed to my usual habit of laughing evilly, cursing them, and then shredding the letter). Besides, I have no doubt that Caitlin’s qualified, considering that the UA’s softball team is awesome.

(I will, however, continue to laugh evilly and curse my old high school when they come ’round begging for cash. I paid tuition, bozos: our account is settled.)
stinky pete
May 5th, 2007 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

311 Dean, 316 Luna, 317 TF, 319 fl, now I am going to cry. She did turn out so well. Most of the credit goes to her mom, however.
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 5th, 2007 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

#15 Dean Booth:

One night during a thunderstorm when the electricity went out, he and I used a flashlight to put on a shadow puppet play for his mom based on The Day the Earth Froze.

I am not the chicken plucker, I’m the chicken plucker’s son. I’m only plucking chickens till the chicken plucker comes.
One of the best MSTs ever. Oh, and my other log is a redwood!
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 5th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Oops. #315, Dean.
John C Fremont
May 5th, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

“Now you gonna be the worm face!”
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

#324, pete, am I allowed to say she’s cute? I don’t want to incur the fist o’ fatherly justice.

#325, you’re right — one of the best ever, if not the best. Of course, I’m tempted to start randomly quoting more MST, but we’ll be here all night!
John C Fremont
May 5th, 2007 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

“This is where the fish lives.”
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

#327, lol, John, that’s the one I had in mind.
* throws plywood *
Dean Booth
May 5th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

#329. ZAH!
John C Fremont
May 5th, 2007 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

“Put ‘em on yer feet. Give yer dogs a treat. What a comf-terble shoe. Mitchell!”
John C Fremont
May 5th, 2007 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Paraphrasing Robert Duvall; Someday this thread’s gonna end. (Or, if you prefer, “A six foot peak? He-hey!!”)

“So I shall turn in now. So if you wouldn’t mind, please… My blankie… My nookie… And my friend. Thank you kindly. Good morrow to you.”
ghost of farley
May 5th, 2007 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

Watch out for snakes!
Jym
May 5th, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

=296= (Squid Countess): Agreed, Love Shack is a great song to dance to, and appropriate for weddings, handfastings, dowry sales, etc. I give it three thumbs up!

=297= K&K (Captain Insano): Umm, that’s kind of the whole point of the strip.
commodorejohn
May 5th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

FOOB – So John Patterson has been married 30+ years to the crankiest, meddlingest lady this side of Charterstone and he hasn’t learned to recognize when it is and isn’t PMS? Also, the punchline should’ve been something about “Post-Man Syndrome,” but I’ve never seen a halfway decent punchline in this strip the entire time I’ve been following it.

FW – Panel two is the only time in FW I’ve ever seen someone with a facial expression other than “grim resignation” or “smirking resignation.”
Sabrechick
May 5th, 2007 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

Apt. 3G
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070505&name=Apartment_3-G
All together now â€œSomewhere over the rainbow â€“ way up highhhhhâ€. Someone is up high alright, and methinks that itâ€™s the author of this strip.

FOOB
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/5&name=For_Better_Or_Worse
This has to be the most stereotypically misogynistic strip Iâ€™ve seen in a long time
If Iâ€™m reading this correctly the implication is that if a woman is upset itâ€™s either PMS or man-problems. Next thing you know Elly will be in saying that Liz went to her room because she was having problems with vapors.

MT
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070505&name=Mark_Trail
I want an Elrod paperweight too!!!

TDIET
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070505&name=TDIET
So, what theyâ€™re saying is when one show ENDS another BEGINS â€“ Whoâ€™d have thunk it?
zqfmgb
May 5th, 2007 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

it just kinda dawned on me… is Lu Ann passing out on the floor? It doesn’t really look like a bed or couch, or indeed, even a floor, so much as an unyielding pool of blackness. Maybe she passed out in a pool of artistic necrosis.
Red Greenback
May 5th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

MT: Ease up on the Brylcreem there, Trail! You look like Buddy Love with all that shit in your hair.

O’F: Got my first vote in for Caitlin.
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

# 296 — Squid Countess, thanks for the otter tip. I was actually able to watch some of it (often I can’t get You Tube), and it was adorable. Awwww.

However, I plead innocent to dissing Love Shack. I didn’t compare it with any other songs, I said that if they played it at Shawna-Marie’s wedding, I’d be out on the dance floor waving my lorgnette. Of course that could be construed as a threat rather than a promise:-).
Red Greenback
May 5th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

Why is this thread still going? Huh? HUH??…

Alrighty, TUH DIET: “TV or NOT TV” was a great album by Phil Proctor & Pete Bergman…if you can find it, I strongly suggest coughing up the cabbage for it.
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

# 301 — I voted, O’F.

# 313 — Sir Fable MTK, I like goats too. And a friend just gave me some homemade goat cheese that made me like them even more.
Poteet
May 5th, 2007 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

# 324 — Wow, stinky pete, she’s beautiful!
Harold
May 5th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Wait, wait, am I too late to comment on Saturday’s comics?

Apartment 3-G: Those look like pretty dull “happy times”.

Archie: What? WHAT?

B.C.: And the string of funny strips from 1991 continues.

Curtis: Did anyone else notice the other day that Paw-Paw isn’t wearing shoes? What the hell?

Dick Tracy: It was hard enough to tell that Queenie was a woman when she wasn’t dead and stuffed upside-down into a smokestack.

Mark Trail: Maybe that room has two desks facing each other? I prefer to think that that guy squeezed in in front of Mark, kicked his chair back a few feet, and then stood there thrusting his pelvis at Mark’s face. Is everybody hinting that they want oral sex from Mark Trail lately?

Mary Worth: Old fashioned incest, I thought, more often fell along father-daughter lines. But wait…”Our mother died when I was born.” VERA KILLED HER OWN MOTHER!!! JUST BY BEING BORN!!! NO WONDER SHE HAS ISSUES!!!

Peanuts: This is so classically beautiful, but I can’t shake the image of Snoopy pinned to the roof of his doghouse by an umbrella through the heart.

Zippy the Pinhead: Damn you for not being nonsensical today. When I was a little kid we used to have a dryer with a little window in it. I would watch the clothes tumble around and around, lit by the blue gas flame, and imagine this was a giant, never-ending wave.
Red Greenback
May 5th, 2007 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

Okay, this has been buggin’ me out for quite some time now. Why did Herb (or maybe it was Jamaal)? have his nose swaddled in bandages a while back?
Trilobite
May 5th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#344 — Ordinarily, I’d say something like “Yeah, Mark sure has a purty mouth.” Except he doesn’t. The man has basically two expressions.

One is his “serious” face, the one he puts on when he’s about to punch the facial hair right off an evildoer, which is basically a blandly neutral expression. Like a man under the influence of a heavy narcotic, or possibly one Botoxed into complete facial immobility. Imagine him coming towards you, right cross flying, all dead-eyed like a great white shark and with no sign of joy, rage, pain, or even basic humanity in his features. Is it any wonder most people stay down once he hits them?

The other is his “normal” face, which is much the same as his “serious” face, only in this one his lips are drawn tightly back into an unconvincing grin. From some angles, it looks more like a rictus of pain. From others, it merely has the look of a man who’s so drunk he can barely stand up.

So…er…basically, I’ve got nothin’. I don’t know why everyone seems to be offering up their crotches to him. Perhaps he’s overapplied his hair treatment (as Red Greenback suggests in #339), and it’s had an unexpected aphrodisiac effect. Perhaps they’re all in the midst of insanely long dry spells and are doing this to everyone. Perhaps they just want Mark’s face buried someplace where they won’t have to look at it. It could be any of these!
Red Greenback
May 5th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Trilobite, Your ideas are intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 5th, 2007 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

I voted for Caitlin as well. Unfortunately, it seems she’s still at 9 percent. There must be a lot of votes there already.
Ribinin
May 5th, 2007 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

Hmmm-hmmmm-la-la……Waiting for the new thread to start.

I suppose I could get out the map. I will likely take a few days and drive up rt 66 in my Corvette getting odd jobs and meeting people. After getting to Chicago, that’s where I will need the map to get to Toronto.

I will no doubt be able to just follow the balloons from there.
Red Greenback
May 5th, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

I have a feeling this thread’s gonna get, um, how shall I put this..ah, yes!…”colorful” after the Cinco de Borracho festivities wind down.
Or maybe not.
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

The Beetle Baily doctor has TWO moustaches! One in the normal upper-lippal area, and another around the base of his skull. I’d â™¥ to see Slylock’s take on THAT conundrum.
Trotzenbonnie
May 6th, 2007 at 12:06 am [Reply]

#302 – stinky pete
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
Blossoming even as we gaze

God bless! What a beautiful daughter. Now I feel funny calling you stinky knowing that you had a hand in bringing such a wonderful child into the world.

So it’s Mr. Stinky from now on.

#292 Gulielma
Thank you. I think a rewrite of The Fantasticks starring the FOOBS is long overdue.The original play even includes a light-hearted rape number that can easily be adapted to the Liz/Anthony hook-up. I’m working on “Plant a Radish” even as we speak.

O’Fo – Chalk up another vote for Caitlin.
CrabbyGenes
May 6th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

To Genevieve, yester-thread. Re-posting this here because you might have missed it there.

Thanks for answering. Sounds like your mom and I would get along. And I’m developing a theory that perhaps the most vehement Foob haters are people like me, for whom it paralleled the raising of their own kids, and who might have read it to their own kids.
Trotzenbonnie
May 6th, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mary_Worth

Stupid Vera. Von wasn’t the favorite because he was your father’s only son. Duh. It’s because he plied Dad with fine wine while you tried to serve him Munchkin clogs on a plate.
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

O’Fogeyette- Re: yer thread killing mojo. Does decaf count? If I were to drink any caffeinated beverage it would send me to the moon without the benefit of gossamer wings. But I digress (I don’t know that means, but it sounds way cool and I hope I’m using it correctly) But I digress nonetheless.

Oh, and thank you and wille fer bringin’ me back into the fold!
King Folderol
May 6th, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

BB – I don’t get the joke, but that’s never stopped Mort Walker from serving his daily dose of crapcakes before.

H&J – This is some crazy breast action for a daily comic strip.

FC – Poor Jeffy. He doesn’t understand the nature of time. He probably has problems with spatial relationships, too. When he is an adult, I suspect he’ll also have problems getting laid if he continues to say stupid things like this to women.

FBOFW – I used to think Liz could do better than Anthony, but she’s spent so much time pining after the dude with the disgusting growth on his face that I no longer think she deserves any kind of companionship, except that of her parents. May she get stuck in one of Mike’s horrible, horrible novels.
Poteet
May 6th, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

# 354 — I agree, Trotz, those clogs look inedible. I think, however, that the fine wine may have been laced with some serious drugs. Panel Four makes it clear that Von changed Dad into a hollow-eyed zombie. And it’s probably no accident that Zombie Dad looks kinda like Mary Worth.
Eric The Grate
May 6th, 2007 at 12:47 am [Reply]

I’ve had a rather large amount of Johnnie Walker Red Label, and today’s Garfield still isn’t funny. Maybe I should go get some Everclear or something.
rich
May 6th, 2007 at 1:05 am [Reply]

293, Naomi: Thanks for pointing out Barney Google. I love that doctor’s demented, “Foxy Grandpa” look.

296, Squid Countess: Thanks for the tip! I’d almost forgotten about Theodore and Castoria. I guess my current shamelessly sentimental favorite would be Red and Rover.

Also, apropos of nothing, for you Rex Morgan fans.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 6th, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

Some of Sunday

Big Dog: Pay particular attention to the interactive “Doggone Funny” feature. I like to think that the baby was really adopted and she was just messing Missie’s head for 9 months.

Nancy: This feature has gotten very weird in general. Nancy and Sluggo still look like they did in the days of candlestick phones and Studebakers. But she’s got a personal computer. Whaaa? Add to that Aunt Fritzi looking like Shania Twain with larger implants, and the anachronisms really get radioactive.

Jump Start: You guys have been to this church before, right? My experience, if it’s loud one week it will be just as loud the next.

9CL: Yes, sincere apologies and athletic cunnilingus do go over well. And the syndicate thought Pibgorn was too hot!
skulking on the outskirts
May 6th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Mr. Stinky, you’ve got a luv-er-ly daughter…and that’s all I got in the way of song parodies. But seriously, she’s beautiful. Even as beautiful as any of my own three daughters, and that’s saying a lot! :)
Now on the subject of P.M.S. vs M.E.N., I’m going to risk having bricks (amazing or otherwise) and flamethrowers aimed in my direction, and admit that I actually snickered at that punchline. And it’s been a long, long time since I laughed at anything in (THTI) FBOFW for any reason other than anticipation of what the Curmunions were going to have to say about it. I don’t hate men, but I do have cause, from time to time, to bitch about ‘em, and I’m going to remember that little gem for future reference.
Poteet
May 6th, 2007 at 1:15 am [Reply]

# 359 — Thanks, rich. Wow, Rex wasn’t so pretty and petulant back then.

Foob — I find the animals in this strip much less obnoxious than the humans. But I still gotta say that Dixie resembles a real Sheltie about as much as I resemble Diana Rigg.
Thatgirl
May 6th, 2007 at 1:20 am [Reply]

Google results for “gap toothed starey hoo boy”:
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=%22gap+toothed+starey+hoo+guy%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

Would it be copyright infringement if CC sold him as a doll? Its not like he would take that long to design.. ;)
Trilobite
May 6th, 2007 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Looking ahead to Sunday’s Mary Worth, I’m struck by one thing in particular. What kind of freak says “When my father’s death occurred”? Wouldn’t a normal person say “when my father died,” or “when my father passed on,” or even “when my father became worm food”? On behalf of the English language, curses be upon you, Vera!
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 6th, 2007 at 1:38 am [Reply]

DtM: So Dennis is using the “age before beauty” line again. Not as nice with Gina as he was with Joey. If “nice” is the right word.

A3G: Gabriella speaks Spanish in her sleep, so Margo is half Latin. The other half would seem to be Irish or Scottish, judging from “Magee.” Of course her father was probably killed in a vice raid 30 years ago, so we’ll never know.
Also, the caption on the last panel could read “Necrophilia: it’s what’s for dinner.”
rich
May 6th, 2007 at 1:50 am [Reply]

FW: The price for leaving your cellphone on in class is sadistic humiliation delivered with a condescending smirk. This should do wonders for Blonde Girl’s self-esteem issues…not to mention her drinking problem. (And this is one of the lighter episodes?)

And no, Batiuk, I’m not impressed by all those “realistic” highlights and muddy shadows. Actually, I think it’s about the worst coloring job I’ve ever seen!
moe99
May 6th, 2007 at 1:57 am [Reply]

Has anyone commented how Granthony resembles Liz’s dad only w/ a moustache? I swear there is an Electra complex being played out under our noses. We need to pay attention, people!!!! This is truly sick, sick, sick.
Non-Shannon
May 6th, 2007 at 1:57 am [Reply]

254 CHENNUX!

Well, I’m glad you didn’t ask me a question, since I just showed up here after a full day of Cinco de Mayo festivities. Lemme tell ya, if this wedding has anything like the margarita machine at the party I went to today, I will not only flirt with Anthony, I’ll make out with Shawna-Marie.

AND THEN WE CAN BLAST EVERYTHING WITH THE MAGMACANNONS! Right? I think we all want–nay, need to see some violence in Foobville.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 6th, 2007 at 2:17 am [Reply]

#366,
To paraphrase Josh.
Jesus Christ! Les Moore is such an asshole!
WithoutaK
May 6th, 2007 at 3:40 am [Reply]

#369 …Ben: Asshole or not I actually liked it because it reminded me of a teacher I had in college. He told us unless we wanted him to answer our phones for us we’d best turn them off.

Still he didn’t blab peoples’ personal business to the class at large and he was nice, not all smirky like Les here. What gets me is Jessica is in high school where one’s class times are pretty set so why the hell is her mother calling? She should know her daughter is in class so she should either wait or send a text. Of course, Jessica shouldn’t have left it on in the first place but I’ve long given up on seeing anyone show that kind of consideration.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
May 6th, 2007 at 3:52 am [Reply]

366. Having cellphones go off in class is a big problem for teachers, but in my experience students generally turn them off hurriedly or else take them out of the room to answer.

There was one incident where the phone kept ringing endlessly, but the problem was solved by a rather large student standing up and shouting “Dude! Turn off your phone!” It was much more effective than anything I could have thought of.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
May 6th, 2007 at 4:06 am [Reply]

Re A3G:

There’s a certain lack of logic here. LuAnn is in a studio, not a studio apartment. It’s in a building where artists rent studios, like that old guy who told her about the ghost. Supposedly it’s been a building full of artists’ studios for a century or more, judging by the ghostly inhabitants.

There’s a bed in LuAnn’s studio, apparently left there by the previous occupant. Was that Alan? I didn’t follow this strip that long ago. Apparently there’s also linen service (back when this plotline began) which seems a bit odd for a studio, but it seems to have been discontinued.

LuAnn is subsisting on microwaved burritos when she can figure out how to operate the microwave, and presumably she also has a small refrigerator there.

But the one thing that would be very unlikely for her to have, particularly in an old building, is a toilet. So either she is leaving her studio from time to time to head down the hall (which would mean she’s getting some fresh air), or she’s depositing her waste in a corner (which would explain the increasing foulness of the air in her studio).

It’s not paint fumes, she’s doing watercolors.

Boy, you really have to read between the lines in some of these strips!
Marion Delgado
May 6th, 2007 at 4:42 am [Reply]

First, “darkness claims LuAnn” is not a sentence. It’s “darkness claims MARGO.” “LuAnn goes into the light.”

Second, if Pope Josh is right about limbo, where the hell would you put a dead Tommie?
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ®â„¢Â©
May 6th, 2007 at 6:38 am [Reply]

ATTENTION EARTHERS! SLURP YOUR EARLY MORNING BEVERAGE WITH RECKLESS ABANDON! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

TO THE ONE CALLED #368 NON-SHANNON! DARLIN,’ MAGMACANNONS WILL BE PRIMED AND FUSED FOR SHAWNA-MARIE’S WEDDING! PLEASE JOIN ILSAMORADA GIRL AND OTHERS AS WE HURL POTATOES AT THE HEADS OF THE OTHER GUESTS! SET TARGETING MECHANISM TO ‘PASTEL!’ HAHA!
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 7:14 am [Reply]

END TRANSMISSION.
Vince M.
May 6th, 2007 at 7:17 am [Reply]

363: I can’t understand why Google asks “Did you want ‘gap toothed STARRY hoo guy’?” That doesn’t even make sense!
The doll sounds like a great idea – I see it as one of those really simple stuffed things made of two pieces of printed cloth…with a noise maker.
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ®â„¢Â©
May 6th, 2007 at 7:38 am [Reply]

OOPS! MELKARDAMMIT! I LEFT THE STUPID THING ON! THANKS FOR THE CYA, ONE CALLED RED GREENBACK! HOW’S PEGGY, BTW? HAHA!

END TRANSMISSION!
Adouble
May 6th, 2007 at 7:45 am [Reply]

While I’ve found the posthumous B.C.s have been even weirder than the regular B.C, I haven’t been prompted to mention it until today’s (Sunday’s) comic. Can anyone explain this? My wild guess is it’s a combination Clinton/global warming joke, but that’s just me flailing.
Dennis Jimenez
May 6th, 2007 at 8:09 am [Reply]

I want to know what that wreath says in the second to the last panel of MW today – my money is down on Jr. Squiggy – Von’s pet name for father’s ah, er, well, Jr. Squiggy.
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 8:14 am [Reply]

Sire Chennux. Peggy’s doing GREAT! She’s been hittin’ 24 Hour Fitnessâ„¢ like a maniac, a maniac on the floor, and she’s got a fresh coat of Armor AllÂ®, and the bestest thing is she’s gonna rock the GTA with us!

BTW, AppleGirl, on the ride up to the great white north, be nice to Peg! (when she has a “hissy fit”, she actually has a “HISSY FIT”-it ain’t pretty or safe for Earthers)
Islamorada Girl
May 6th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

If Peggy’s not amenable to a trip to the Great White North, I have a place in St. Augustine that will rent us a ‘78 Cadillac hearse, specially outfitted to ride a lot of happy wedding guests in the back where they used to carry the coffins. The owner uses it to haul tourists around Old Town for ghost tours, but he hates FOOB as much as we do, and will even accept potatoes in payment. How cool a ride would that be?
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 8:32 am [Reply]

Your Galactic Higness “ALL CAPS” CHENNUX @ 377. CYA?? Is that an acronym for Canadian Yachting Association???? I sure hope so
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Islamorada Girl- Peg is down for whatevah, AAMOF, she used the word “amenable” when I approached her with the Shawna-Marie nuptuals gig.

Chennux, in His Infinite Wisdom, programs amenability into all His consorts, but left a little “rebel” in Peggy.

Bless His Scaly Green Soul.
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

Here’s a little background âœ“ on Shawna-Marie. http://joshreads.com/?p=182 Also âœ“ this one out for some Mark Trail goodness. http://joshreads.com/?p=183
stinky pete
May 6th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

378 Adouble, I took BC as a “joke” about hybrid now referring to both cars and plants. Of course, since hybrid plants have basically been around since the Fertile Crescent was settled ca. 10,000 BC, and hybrid cars have been around for the past 10 years or so, the term “joke” is used with caution.

379 DJ, While it probably says “In Sympathy,” that’s no fun, so perhaps it says: “Jr. Sybarite,” “In Sylvester” (no, that would be Tweety Bird’s funeral), “In Sycophancy,” or “In Symbiosis.”

Googling “Galactic Emperor Chennux” yields the question: Did you mean Galactic Emperor Chennu? Then if you click that link you get exactly one hit. Still a few bugs in the system, I guess. But who is this Chennu?
Eric The Grate
May 6th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

367:

In the FOOBiverse, everyone pretty much resembles everyone else. I suspect some sort of Canadian black ops cloning project. Maybe that’ll be the big reveal in the very last strip.
John C Fremont
May 6th, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

MW – Panel 4 features a special guest appearance by TV’s Dave Foley!

RMMD – Not a single breast shot. Damn.

SFx – I figured out the “mystery” within 10 seconds and got all 6 differences without having to cross my eyes. In your face, Weber!

JP – In the last panel, is Mohawk Boy, uh, stimulated? Who wouldn’t be, I guess, after being stripped and bound by a strapping hunk of Canadian back bacon, all the while pointing his massive squirt gun in your – wait, can I start over?
Harold
May 6th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

#365, “When my Father’s death occurred” is a euphemism for “when we finally teamed up and murdered the incestuous old pervert.” VERA DIDN’T JUST KILL HER MOTHER, SHE KILLED HER FATHER TOO! But at least he was nice enough to spring for the chin implant/jaw extension so she wouldn’t have a two-inch underbite anymore.

#378, I read Sunday’s B.C. as an attack on the Japanese. Hybrids aren’t exclusively Japanese cars, but if this strip is actually something from the fading days of Johnny Hart, a random ethnic assault would not be surprising.

Weirdly enough, I was just musing on the “if you teach a man to fish” saying (featured in Sunday’s Mallard Fillmore) the other day. But I ended it with “…just make sure he depends on you for bait and tackle, and you’re set for life!” (I was comparing genetically modified plants that are being sold to Third World farmers that are pesticide resistant but come with “terminator technology” that ensures that the farmers must buy new seed every year to the practice of coal mining companies requiring that coal miners buy all of their equipment and supplies from company stores at exorbitant prices. That’s the sort of thing I think about when I’m not reading comics.)
Red Greenback
May 6th, 2007 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Stinky pete- here is one of many Chennu sites. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282779/
MonkeyHawk
May 6th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

A bit of advice for the wedding-goers:

Whatever you do, DON’T LET CHENNUX DRIVE!

He doesn’t have a driver’s license as a result of an unfortunate incident several years ago when he was driving a taxi in Osaka, Japan.

It all started when a fare got into Chennny’s cab saying, “Take me to Tokyo and step on it.”
Ukulele Ike
May 6th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

387: John, I’m glad I’m not the ONLY one thinking this.

‘Cept it struck me as early as panel two, with Neddy’s “surprise lines” and big ol’ bee-stung lips going “Your squirt gun? Oooooooooooooo….!”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 6th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

While waiting for the thread to end…

Sunday’s MT: Mark Trail calls upon the power of 42 pumas!
dimestore lipstick
May 6th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

#336, commodorejohn

You have to cut Pa Patterson some slack–his wife being well into her fourteenth year of “the menopause”, it’s been a while since John got a shot of her P.M.S. wrath.
Mibbitmaker
May 6th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

RMMD: Avery National Airport, huh? Unless they had the insight to name an airport after Tex Avery, this makes me wonder if Hugh here is supposed to look like Donald Trump, on purpose. The hair could very well be sarcastic in that case.

If this is true, then Wilson & Nolan are really, really cool! Or at least really, really jealous of Moy & Guiella for Aldo Kangaroo.
Uncle Lumpy
May 6th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

#289 Poteet inter alia -

Steve Canyon is back up at the Humorous Maximus site – and they’ve loaded future strips you can see by fiddling with the URL.

And there’s a new episode! You hear me, Judge Parker. That’s how they roll old school.

Uncle Lumpy loves him some Feeta-Feeta.
TB Tabby
May 6th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

SFx: actually, that solution would explain why it’s taken him over fifteen minutes to eat a bowl of beef broth. And it still doesn’t prove that he had anything to do with that bizarre and counter-productive act of airwave piracy.
Poteet
May 6th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

# 395 — Thanks, Uncle Lumpy! Ahh, I feel better now. And Feeta-Feeta, I’m sorry, but the women are just going to keep rolling into Steve’s life as the months go on. Too bad, because you are classier than many.

And could someone please help a desperate soul to find her Sunday DICK TRACY fix? My usual site thinks it’s still Saturday. Geez, this feels like begging someone to tell me where I can find a cup of melted lard to drink.
Tweeks_Coffee
May 6th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

Zits (5/6): My word, what exactly does Walt think is going to happen in the fifth panel there? There are only a couple things I can think of that involve a fist and a butt. All of them are definitely not right for the comics, much less with your son.
Uncle Lumpy
May 6th, 2007 at 11:43 am [Reply]

#397 Poteet -

Sunday Dick Tracy.

But — why?
Andy
May 6th, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

New thread yet?

Mark Trail: Another effective way to survive a cougar attack if you’ve got a young child is to throw the child at the cougar, and you’ve got plenty of time for a getaway. I’m surprised an avid outdoorsman like Mark doesn’t know that trick.
Andy
May 6th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: The indignant beaver finally gets a name, and he is still hilarious when he points out his accusers.

Meanwhile, Count Weirdly is eating “beef broth”, but due to his history of replacing people’s brains with overripe eggplants and such, I think this is some bizarre act of cannibalism.
Spotted HÃ˜rse
May 6th, 2007 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

ZITS
#398 Tweeks_Coffee:
I was pretty shocked myself. What really makes panel 5 for me is the timid, submissive, rather anxious look in Papa Zit’s eyes.
OverCat
May 6th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

FW: Uh-oh. Sounds like Jessica has skin cancer.

And I have enjoyed the MST3K references here, a favorite show for me and my hubby – he scored tons of recorded episodes on tape and DVD for our continued enjoyment. So of course when I saw Mark Trail today, I thought of the classic “Puma Man”. One of the “best/worst” ever!
Albert Pinkham Ryder
May 6th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

Too weak to post, Josh begins to crawl. . . “I need a vacation . . but what’s the use? I haven’t the strength to hit Travelocity. Those comment spammers were right, I should rest. But only for a moment. . .”

Josh struggles to stay alert. . . “I’ll just rest — if I fall asleep, I may never wake up. And I don’t want to die! I have readers and commenters who love me — or at least constantly pester me with their petty demands for entertainment.”

As consciousness slips away. . . “If only I could remember who they are. . .”

As darkness claims Josh, images come, and . . . “Oh, my friends, those were happy times – Aldo . . . I’ll miss you most of all. . . .”
Twenty-three Scaduto
May 6th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Everybody bitches and bitches about starting a new thread but as soon as one opens y’all disappear. Oh ye-e-a-a-ah. They’ll do it every time.
ever2seek
May 6th, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

#140 gets my vote as comment of the week.
Lord Haw Haw
May 6th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

#202 – Thanks for the kind words.

#219 – That actually does look like my cousin a little bit. But hub was a lot thinner.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

OK – it’s Anthony in the 6/12/07 FBOFW? He has blonde hair? What happened to his Magnum PI ’stash? This comic is beginning to mess with my mind.

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