Comics: Bleah :: e-Comics : Yeah!
Marvin, 5/15/07
Remember, kids: HIGH TECHNOLOGY = COMEDY GOLD. Here’s a list of punchlines that would be very similar to the one in this strip, but which fail to achieve knee-slapping hilarity because they ignore the crucial “e-factor” of Internet-related revelry:
- “I think it means mom got me from Christie’s in New York.”
- “I think it means mom paid money for me at a store.”
- “I think it means I was born in a country that doesn’t value girl babies, but does value Western currency.”
- “I think it means mom couldn’t get anyone to have sex with her.”
Mark Trail, 5/15/07
I’m pretty sure that, like George W. Bush’s famous “Bring it on!” line, County Commissioner Sideburns Q. Mustache’s statement that “If Mark Trail is looking for a bird problem, let’s give him one!” will haunt the rest of his political career. Thus it will probably be a blessing that said career isn’t going to last much longer, since Mark will soon show up to impeach him WITH HIS FISTS.
Longtime Mark Trail readers probably thought that last year’s “I’ll use explosives to fake a rockslide so as to convince the county to seize forest land via eminent domain to the advantage of my planned gambling casino” was some sort of apex of laughably unrealistic political skullduggery, but with this “Let’s get people fired up about birds so we can convince them to vote in a new airport on our property,” we move past “contrived” and straight on into Dada. If you managed to convince Karl Rove to drop acid and write a comic strip — and I have to admit that I would support you in such a quixotic effort — this is the sort of thing he’d come up with.
B.C., 5/15/07
Hey everybody! Let’s set the wayback machine for [squints] 1997 and enjoy some classic B.C.! Today, we learn that you shouldn’t go to chiropractors who are deranged mass murderers who build furniture out of the mangled body parts of their victims as some sort of horrific monument to their soulless evil. See, this strip used to be “edgy.”
Apartment 3-G, 5/15/07
FYI, I’m officially boycotting Apartment 3-G until it starts making God-damned sense again.
TB Tabby
May 15th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
First. Also, I’m NOT boycotting Apartment 3-G, because at least now we’re getting some action.
Antidespotic
May 15th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Anyone else spot the goatse in today’s Mark Trail?
DemanusFlint
May 15th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
I’m just wondering why Johnny Hart seems to have such a boner for jokes about disturbing skeletal collections. http://joshreads.com/?p=1071
Mighty Sam
May 15th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
You’re right, Josh.
It may be time to change the name of Apartment 3-G to Apartment 4-20.
Maybe then it would make sense.
SamFromUtah
May 15th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
I noticed there were several would-be-clever references to high tech stuff in today’s comics.
Somehow it made me flash back to when people were screeching that UPC symbols were the mark of the Beast.
Steve S
May 15th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
“I think it means Mom has a terribly barren womb, probably caused by reading Marvin.”
Lammergeier13
May 15th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
A3G: PLEASE don’t be angry with me, Albert Pinkham Ryder, I was just trying to let the moon into my loft ’cause it asked me to.
Steve S
May 15th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
I’d hereby pledge to boycott Funky Winkerbean until all the characters are dead, but that might result in me reading it again sooner than I want.
Lammergeier13
May 15th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
FOOB: Is that a ginormous dollop of spittle flying from grampa Jim’s mouth, or has he finally bitten off his tongue in frustration with this strip? Geez Jim, not even us curmudgeons have gotten that bad!
Besides, look on the bright side: you’re only HALF a vegetable, while Michael (whose terrible coma-dream world you inhabit) has been declared officially brain dead (about fucking time) and is going to be unplugged soon enough.
9CL: SHUT UP!!!! Sincerely, the people who live their lives outside of the dance studio. Especially the men in suits and ties, and the women carrying attache cases and wearing dark skirts and high heels (like your mom). P.S. FUCK YOU!
Lammergeier13
May 15th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
(sigh) Sorry guys, it’s just that 9CL makes me so angry. I’ve never liked it, yet it lives ever on, like Cathy. Here, let’s try this comment instead: Edda’s just pissed ’cause it looks like somebody put baby in a corner!
Lizardmess
May 15th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
You know what? I haven’t read They’ll Do It Every Time in for-ever. How will I know what petty grievances the easily annoyed and the elderly are talking about now?
I’m going to boycott, um, it’s got this duck, or a platypus, who works in an office, and, and…don’t they know talking animals only belong in Mark Trail? Boycotted!
Diesel Sweeties is doing that thing again, where he wakes up, writes down the first random thought in his head and then later that day draws a comic strip around it.
PBS: Nothing funnier than animals wearing clothes.
Red Greenback
May 15th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
Marvin: Frankly, I feel cheated by the last panel, Armstrong. The toeheaded baby has the expression that calls for a spit take with her/his blue “nuk nuk”, or whateverthehell you call those things.
MT: Sweet lapel grab, Sideburns Q. Mustache! Are you fixing to show Vincente Fox your coat lining, like a you’re guest on the Merv Griffin show?
B.C.: Uh yeah, so your advice is “go to a chiropracter who has furniture made outta new vertebrae”?…PS, BC- I really like that cool smokestacky-lookin’ volcano stage left.
A3G: It’s “Minty Fresh” Albert Pinkham Ryder!
Trilobite
May 15th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
I think that A3G strip makes perfect sense. See, the spectral Albert Pinkham Ryder is actually an evil djinn. Somehow he fell under LuAnn’s control and was forced to grant her three wishes.
Her first wish: to have a ghostly boyfriend. This was essential to her, because as a ghost, he would by definition not have a life — just like her! And also, there would be no icky boy-parts around her. Her second wish: to be able to make a living through her “art,” which was accomplished by laying a mind-whammy on the gallery owner to get him to pay her actual money to make crappy pictures of flowers.
But what was wish three? Ah ha, that’s a trick question! There IS NO third wish! She never made one! And without that third wish, the djinn cannot be free! And so, like many an evil djinn before it, this one turned its powers to plotting her demise. Oh, it wanted to be subtle; carbon monoxide poisoning from a poorly-maintained heater, something that would pass without notice in the world of mortals.
But that cursed Margo-spawning witch RUINED that plan, and so the djinn posing as “Ryder” has decided to take matters into his own hands. In this strip, he is gathering his powers in the form of a desert whirlwind to flay the flesh off LuAnn’s bones. He’s also destroying those stupid flower paintings, because honestly, they’re just awful. He may be evil, but that doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate good art.
King Folderol
May 15th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
MT – Forget about how excited this dude is about birds at the airport. I don’t know how someone with that ridiculous pile of hair and that porn moustache got elected to any office anywhere in the United States of America. This guy’s a little freaky looking even for the gayest section of San Francisco.
BC – I think Johnny Hart is saying that the chiropractor takes vertebrae out of his patients and they leave the office slithering out like snakes, which isn’t funny but just weird. Perhaps there’s some sort of Biblical significance as per Hart’s usual standards.
A3G – Josh, if you’re going to stop reading A3G, then you’d better not post anything about Gil Thorp ever again! It’s just three random panels of sports, random high school drama, and lesbians playing sports.
Itazurakko!
May 15th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
FOOB: Dammit, seems we don’t get to switch out of this arc midweek after all.
I think I don’t understand this – what is Jim doing not putting his hand down, with the desperate “man” thought balloon? Trying to say “I’m a MAN, a MAN, not a three year old child???” That would at least make some sense, given the way the pacing is going…
Chat Noir
May 15th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
My stars. In the 5/16 JP, one of that RedMullet girl’s sweaterpuppies seems intent on nosing its way out of her shirt. It’s more of a blouse bullet today.
Fred P.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
Leaving aside the question of how tots can manage to converse solely by inaudible thought balloons- without (presumably) the benefit of psilocybin- I find Marvin’s googly-eyed incredulity in panel III rather unrealistic. What exactly is he so shocked about? The fact that babies are regularly bought and sold on e-bay? The realization that he himself might once have been bought – and perhaps may in the future be sold- on e-bay? Or is it that, after all these years of mediocrity, there has finally been a gag so spectacularly forgettable as to make even Marvin begin to see that his eponymous strip is so very very lame?
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 15th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Johnny Hart was right. If you went to see Ed Gein for your sciatica, you probably would regret it. Although if he were the only Blue Cross-covered chiropractor in your vicinity, you’d probably make peace with it.
Oreothecat
May 15th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Ahahahahaha!!!!!!
alamo
May 15th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
mt — i am still trying to figure out what a goatse is.
ratnerstar
May 15th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
I read Big Nate today for the first time in years. I picked a good day to restart, because it looks like Nate’s about to get molested.
ChefMike
May 15th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
I’m with ya Josh, I’ve been boycotting A3G since this Luanne acid trip thing began. of course “until it makes sense” may mean I’m going to be giving it up indefinitely
Wayward
May 15th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
I admit freely that I am the worst, most technically awful painter on the planet. I can’t even get paints to work right – I use watercolour pencils. However, even I know that you have to stretch your canvas or at least tape down your watercolour paper to a heavy board and then you don’t leave the finished ones lying around loose for some ghost to blow out the window. Also, I have screens in my windows. They keep bugs out and loose papers in.
But then, I don’t talk to ghosts, so what do I know?
Yahtzee
May 15th, 2007 at 11:25 pm
I don’t see why anybody’s taking advice from a guy who lives about 500 yards from an active, smoking volcano.
Trilobite
May 15th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
20 alamo — Sadly, more information about goatse can be found on the internet.
(Thankfully, the image itself is not on wikipedia.)
Fred P.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Ok, here’s my take on Apartment 3-G. I don’t think the writers are like high on acid or anything. Because normally, when you’re like high on acid or something, it wears off after maybe ten hours or so. But this nonsense has been going on for weeks! Therefore, its pretty clear that the writers are plainly not high. They’re just nuts
Rusty
May 15th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
#9: Comment of my week re: 9CL. Edda is such an annoying twat, mainly because she’s a vessel for the writer’s hatred of his audience.
Citric
May 15th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
I love the look of sheer, unrestrained glee on Commissioner Mustache’s face. It’ll almost be a shame when Mark punches it out of him.
Red Greenback
May 15th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Hey! It’s ABW over on the Mudgegear ad on the left hand side! Hi Angry Black Woman! we miss you!!!
Fred P.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Oh and Josh, as a former SAT taker I suspect that you may have a superfluous colon in your title line.
Poteet
May 15th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
A3G — I realize that Albert Pinkham Ryder is dead and doesn’t care, but I still think it’s very slimy to put him into this lunatic black hole of a strip where sanity melts on impact. The only thing he ever did was create masterpieces that make the pathetic hack drawing in A3G look like…hey, I think maybe I understand why Bolle and Trusiani are doing this to him.
Fred P.
May 15th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Oh and Josh, as a former SAT taker I suspect that you may have an extra colon in your title line.
JT in DFW
May 15th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Regarding A3G: I’m just wondering what sort of hilarity is going to ensue when Margo’s mother manages to kick down the door and get into Lu Ann’s studio. In case the writers are short on ideas, here as some options: She could come in brandishing a silver cross, and perform an exorcism. Lu Ann could vomit green tempra paint, while chanting lovely phrases that get @#$@$‘d out. (”Tommie sucks…” — you get the idea…) Or perhaps the she’ll recreate Lee Grant’s role from the Omen II and self-immolate herself while exclaiming, “I’ve always loved you Albert Pinkham Ryder!”
anameimadeup
May 15th, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Old people (the only people who read the comics besides us internet geeks) love technological jokes that they understand because it makes them feel like part of society. “Oh, I know what the Ebay is! I can get there from my AOL! I’m hip and cool! Twenty-three skadoo!”
Darkefang
May 15th, 2007 at 11:45 pm
GT: Today’s strip is the first one I’ve seen that doesn’t have any immediately noticeable misshapen heads or laws-of-physics-defying sports action.
Slylock Fox: I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that mailman is about to get lured inside the house and seduced by the hot blonde, while her husband secretly videotapes it from the closet.
Poteet
May 15th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
MT — Mercifully, I missed the rockslide story. But it seems to me that faking a rockslide would be easy compared to faking a bird problem at the airport. What are the hairy-faced villains going to do, sprinkle shelled peanuts and mealworms all over the landing strip? Reflood the drained wetland? Unclean the landfill? And the worst part is that we’re going to find out.
Spratson
May 15th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Those were the only things that upset you about this Marvin strip? Not the black sesame seed eyes? The fact that this child will starve without a mouth? The fact that she has to ride in a carriage because her feet are already bound? Or the fact that the blond babe with the gag in his mouth just realized his employment future is screwed by the brainy Chinese babe?
Lammergeier13
May 16th, 2007 at 12:04 am
#27 Rusty: Amen to that.
FW: Lisa, as you continue your incessant bitching about everything, you fail to notice that Les’s solid mass of “hair” has ceased its incubation period. It shall now proceed to the next stage in its life cycle, where it shall slowly turn Les into Sally Forth. Stop this while you still can! Look for the warning signs:
1. Any displays of masculinity (this should be highly noticeable in Les’s case)
2. Increases in appetite (he now eats not only for himself, but for the hair as well)
3. Any references to Peter Pan having a ‘wingman’ in tinkerbell.
4. Any wearing of form-fitting black pants, unattractive blouses, or (God help us) a pantsuit.
Fred P.
May 16th, 2007 at 12:15 am
36- Poteet:
Being as how it was a Mark Trail story, the rockslide episode was undeniably thrilling. As I’m sure you can imagine. Now if I recall correctly, that particular felonious scheme was also put in play by a ne’er-do-well county commissioner, also out to line his pockets with graft and unneeded public works! Why, it seems that Lost Forest County is practically overflowing in corrupt commissioners! (to say nothing of supersized waterfowl) How exactly do county commissioners get their jobs anyway? Are they elected? Frankly, I find it pretty hard to believe that any electorate would choose a bunch of incompetent crooks, not just once but twice in a row!
off-model
May 16th, 2007 at 12:19 am
Now both A3G and the show Lost make a little more sense…or maybe that’s less sense.
Mrs. Erin Hill
May 16th, 2007 at 12:25 am
FOOB: Grandpa is really getting an eye full today. I think I know why he needs to use the bathroom.
Ron
May 16th, 2007 at 12:29 am
“what is Jim doing not putting his hand down, with the desperate ‘man’ thought balloon? Trying to say’I’m a MAN, a MAN, not a three year old child???’”
He has to make stream.
Personally, I think it’s a canny attempt on his part to rub against the physical therapist while she carries him to the bathroom, which she can spot a mile away and is bringing Iris in to block.
philip
May 16th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Oh, mustachioed Mark Trail villain with the blue stripe in your hair and the thick eyebrows but thin mustache, I believe you speak for all disciples of Jack Elrod when you ask “What are you talking about?”
What are you talking about, indeed.
wasoe
May 16th, 2007 at 12:34 am
That has to be the most twisted Mark Trail villain yet. Except if I were that guy, I’d start shooting birds at plane engines with my Bird-o-matic 2000 (TM). Now THAT would be evil.
Porky
May 16th, 2007 at 12:41 am
(MT) – Hey — speaking of bird strikes…
http://funhouse.bubble.ro/859/Bird_Makes_a_Fighter_Jet_Crash___Cockpit_View/
Trilobite
May 16th, 2007 at 12:46 am
Care for a preview of May 16th? No? Er…well, here it is anyway:
A3G: Looks like Albert Pinkham Ryder caught a bad case of Crazy Eye when he became a ghost. It also looks like he’s nine feet tall. Although, again, if this ends with LuAnn jumping or being thrown out of a window, I’m not going to complain. It does make me worry a little bit about the afterlife, though; the prospect of having to haunt an airhead like LuAnn was hard to stomach, the whole “serving as her muse” thing was horrifying, and now you get bug-eyes and have to crouch every time you float through a doorway? That sucks!
Gil Thorp: Clambake really can’t resist any opportunity to throw veiled sexual innuendoes at high school boys, can he? “Yup, good ol’ ‘Double-Duty,’ he was a pitcher and a catcher on the same team, if you know what I mean. I don’t suppose any of you fine young boys would care to try the same? It can be a little hard on the shoulders, but my forkball is worth it.”
Mark Trail: If the commissioners only knew Jack Elrod, a man who CAN make birds appear out of thin air! And does!
Mary Worth: Oh crap, Vera’s a Nazi. I guess that was implied, what with the humorless Aryan exterior and dour pessimism and all, but the salute clinches it.
Blondie: What Gil Thorp is to misshapen heads, Blondie is to misshapen bodies. Look at the lineup outside the boss’s office: you’ve got a man whose body is egg-shaped, a woman whose sweater-puppies-to-hips ratio makes my back hurt just looking at it, and at the tail end, Johnny Longtorso, The Man With No Femurs. I don’t care what Dagwood’s office does, I bet they could make waaaaay more money running a freak show at local carnivals.
The Unspeakable Horror that is FBOFW: After further lowering itself to make another “Grampa Chinnuts is a lecherous old man” joke, the comic has now begun tunnelling rapidly towards a new nadir. Either this is a “Grampa Chinnuts is pissing himself” joke, or “Grampa Chinnuts is pitching a tent for his therapist” joke. Either way, I’m using ‘joke’ in the loosest possible sense. Seriously, fuck you, Lynn.
Dick Tracy: STOP. JUST STOP. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE STUPID DIAMOND. PLEASE DO SOMETHING ELSE NOW.
Teri
May 16th, 2007 at 12:50 am
What about…
“I think it means my daddies got me from an angel”
“I don’t know, but my daddy always smiles when he says it”
True Fable
May 16th, 2007 at 12:59 am
Better snarking through more meds.
(DT)GT Whoa, is that a HAIRLINE I see in panel one? But but but in panel two and three, Clambake is monk-ringed again! What the hell, did they only temporarily beam him down with a hairpiece?
Somebody on the Strip-O-Matic goofed up.
FboFW We’ve all been saying it for days; it’s high time Jim finally made poo in his pants. Notice if you will, the therapist isn’t going to tolerate his leering AND change his Depends. Iris! Front and center! Or rather, Back and below!
FC “My little man”? Jeff, WHY do you do this to yourself? YOU’RE in charge of the strip now, why don’t you humiliate Dolly or Billy or PJ? Or Bil and Thel? Is your self-loathing that strong? Geez.
DtM FINALLY! Dennis has achieved Menace! Don’t say, “hey, wanna see my lizard”, let her know it’s Missing and in the Same Room as Her! Good boy, 15 points simply because it’s about damn time you started earning your name. You’re on probation, though, because we at MenaceWatch 2007 don’t trust your ass for anything.
Pluggers Hey, normal looking bears in clothes at last! And by that I mean, they aren’t grotesquely overweight and stupendously dumb looking. Wow, Two long-awaited wishes so far. I wonder…
JP Aw dammit! – Hey! Give me more Redmullet McSweaterpuppies! I don’t check out the Judge for skanky looking ol’ Roger. RMcSP, or Neddy in something other than that damn turtleneck. Now, mule!
Cathy(Must Die) This is why Cathy will never change: she is too stupid to understand logic. You know, in ways Cathy is like Family Circus: she hates herself and reveals her every inadequacy to the world. Instead of improving her image, she prefers to degrade and demean herself by insisting she is the most narcissistic, shallow, rude and unappreciative of sheeople.
Okay, CG, you win: I can’t stand you OR your character now.
exelizabeth
May 16th, 2007 at 1:05 am
I don’t know how it’s happened, but Apartment 3-G seems to be skipping like a record player. Didn’t Luann start breathing in vapors and seeing a ghost months ago? Or is it just that Luann’s life-flashing before her eyes has finally caught up to the present? The remainder of her flashback will be lived in real time for the rest of her natural life.
True Fable
May 16th, 2007 at 1:12 am
Oh, and one more thing:
Dear Galactic Emperor Chennux,
Please aim your magmacannon at Cathy Guisewhite, Tom Batiuk and Lynn Johnson at your soonest possible convenience. I would petition my own queen Poteet but I understand she is gathering potatoes and fluffing up crinoline for the Wedding.
I’ll call my cousin Dave in Idaho and get you all the taters you want, if you will just do this tiny little favor for me, your humble occasional servant True Fable.
’cause, DAMN I hate those three.
TF
p.s. oh, and if you happen to take a shot at the numbnuts who does Tiger, that would be cool too.
jake!
May 16th, 2007 at 1:15 am
A malignant roar that pulls canvas asunder and flings paintings around the room but tousles not even the smallest of hairs upon Lu Ann’s head can only emanate from the very lungs of the Black One himself. I can only assume the strip will become ever more intense as Father Karras is subjected to a torrent of pea soup and some nasty names thought up on the downtime by the Prince of Hate. ‘Yo Karras! Yo mama’s so fat, she’s burning eternally in a lake of molten chocolate! I made it happen, sucka!’
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 16th, 2007 at 1:16 am
Yeah, geez, you scooped what I was going to say about that B.C., Josh. I mean, never go anywhere where people make things out of human vertebrae. Is that such a difficult lesson to learn?
reader-who-posts
May 16th, 2007 at 1:21 am
Marvin: “I think it means Tom Armstrong was looking for a reason to make bad adoption jokes and stereotypical asian jokes.”
MW: I can sense that in the future just seeing a purple jacket will trigger the horrible memories of this amazingly boring Mary Worth plot.
MT: I am glad that a town that completely ignored having a swamp ecosystem destroyed to save a few planes will suddenly decide to spend millions on a new airport over a few birds.
FBOFW: Who knew that speech therapy was so complicated? “Say ME, dammit! MMM-EEE, how hard is that, you old bastard!”
TB Tabby
May 16th, 2007 at 1:21 am
In today’s Curtis, Gunk reveals that he has a rare condition called dermatopathia pigmentosa reticularis. And as you can see, by this article, it’s a real medical condition. However, as the article states, this disorder only affects females. He probably meant to say “Naegeli Syndrome.”
See? Comics ARE educational!
Trilobite
May 16th, 2007 at 1:42 am
53 Tabby — I don’t usually read Curtis except for whatever Josh presents here, but I just looked at today’s strip (hey, I like reading about genetic disorders) and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT. Has that Gunk kid always had his eyes stacked vertically on his face? This takes the ick factor of actress Shannon Doherty’s one-eye-higher-than-the-other thing to a new, queasier level.
And yet somehow, Curtis isn’t satisfied by his friend’s horrifying skull deformity combined with a lack of fingerprints…oh no, he’s not going to be impressed unless there’s gills, too. Someone should just set Curtis up with some Gil Thorp and Blondie to satisfy his ghoulish desires.
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 2:02 am
I don’t know what this has to with tha comix, or the rising price of pork…or Jerry Falwell. Has anyone here been following Marjoe Gortner’s career trajectory?…Howzabout Wings Hauser?…I’m still a freelance lowly talent agent trying to get the casting secured for the CC RHPS project, Melkardammit!
Ubiq
May 16th, 2007 at 2:03 am
Clearly, Luann’s refusal to follow Ryder’s directions has resulted in the Apocalypse. Our only hope is that Margo reduces Death to tears by mocking his sense of fashion.
AppleGirl
May 16th, 2007 at 2:14 am
9CL – Hey! Whoever this Brooke person is, they got ahold of my 8th grade diary and turned it into this week’s comics!
spackles
May 16th, 2007 at 2:20 am
FBOFW: Oh yuck. This is humor? Do you think Lynn is heading somewhere with this story arc, or is she just torturing her characters and readers with this never-ending tale of geriatric hell? I like to think that the therapist is calling “Iris?!!!” to the poor woman’s back as she runs screaming from the apartment and returns to the park bench where, no doubt, Mary Worth is waiting for for her.
Jym
May 16th, 2007 at 2:26 am
=54= Curtis (Trilobyte): Yes, Gunk’s eyes have always been vertical. On February 4th, the strip Watch Your Head did a great job of trying to render him in a more realistic style, but it’s not online.
Bobdog
May 16th, 2007 at 2:27 am
A3G makes perfect sense — LuAnn’s muse/ghost taking away all the magnificent paintings he inspired her to create because she disrespected him.
In other words, she’s high as a kite on paint fumes.
AppleGirl
May 16th, 2007 at 2:37 am
49 – True Fable – And my cousin in Alaska can get you all the salmon you need, too! We can slow-boat those fish in and really have something memorable to throw.
I’m over CG, TB, and LJ, as well.
Cathy(MD) is the exact opposite of anyone I’ve ever known. Except for when I was in 8th grade, every girl was like that. Except we weren’t married or anything. Except for this one girl who was, but only back in Mexico.
Brendan
May 16th, 2007 at 2:42 am
Oh, God. The wind blew away Luann’s gas-induced delusions of paintings! She didn’t die without actually having painted anything! And now, there’s no turning back.
Albtraum
May 16th, 2007 at 2:45 am
Maybe Apartment 3-G is going to start stealing all of its ideas from the TV show “Heroes”, at a rate of six months of strips per episode, and they’re just starting to get into really plagiarizing one about that angsty painter dude. The psychic Latina mother might be their version of Hiro.
Future characters, each with six-month storylines: A Norwegian man who can drink several cups of water without needing to urinate, a Malay bistro owner who is driven to mass murder by thoughts of his dead parakeet, an elderly Basque woman who can remove tough stains from clothing as if by magic, and a wisecracking Italian-American who can sculpt exact likenesses of anything out of his earwax.
Darthita
May 16th, 2007 at 2:46 am
Is that… Hitler in the last panel of today’s Rex Morgan?
AppleGirl
May 16th, 2007 at 2:50 am
64 – Yes, I believe that’s Hitler. He’s a board member at Avery International. They make labels, right? Figures.
Bobdog
May 16th, 2007 at 2:52 am
64: Dude, I mean, yes it is a bad comb over, but you don’t have to go all Godwin’s law on the poor schlub.
Anonymous
May 16th, 2007 at 2:53 am
45 — Trilobite. “The unspeakable horror that is FBOFW” . This one phrase sums up all there is to say about the strip. I am so grateful to have found this site: now I do not have to face the horror alone.
However, new horrors await. I had never heard of Gil Thorpe until I started reading this blog, and now I read it every day. I’m starting to think Jim Gross is really cute. Does anyone know what the age of consent is in Canada? I want to ask him to “escort” me to Shawna-Maire’s wedding, but I don’t want to get arrested .
And no, I haven’t been invited to the wedding, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping anyone else from going.
AppleGirl
May 16th, 2007 at 2:56 am
S4th – OMG. This is incredible. I can’t believe Ted stole a computer from his office.
How in the world did he lift it with those tiny little hands?
GG
May 16th, 2007 at 3:58 am
Bizarre and senseless stories, lots of shouting, disjointed images, and ghastly undead characters. It’s official: Apartment 3G has turned into Gil Thorp.
Eleusis
May 16th, 2007 at 3:59 am
I for one am eagerly awaiting the inevitable showdown between Gabriela Magee and Albert Pinkham Ryder. Gabriela will horrify him with a collection of cubist art that will offend his modernist sensibilities. Then she will launch herself at him, rosary in hand, screaming vague and discordant strains of glossolalia as her comical immigrant claws dig deeply into his ectoplasmic flesh.
TB Tabby
May 16th, 2007 at 4:06 am
68: I like to think that Ted didn’t steal the whole computer, he just took it apart, removed the processor, put it back together, and took the processor home to install on his own computer. By the time anyone notices, he’ll be in the middle of a new storyline concerning his addiction to MMOs.
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 4:27 am
Whenever I get spam (not the pink, toothsome kind, but the ubiquijunk kind) I reply wth:
“old clambake forsakes forkballs for ted forth and
steve allen said smock”…It’s worked petty good so far.
The Avocado Avenger
May 16th, 2007 at 4:31 am
There is no way this A3G storyline is going to end without a Scooby Doo resolution. It’s just some guy in phosphoric paint and a fake beard, trying to keep people from tearing down his beloved old townhome.
#2 and #64 – Yes, that is Hitler, goatse’ing with his jacket. Mark Trail truly has become a visionary work of genius.
CrabbyGenes
May 16th, 2007 at 4:38 am
#58, spackels, wrote:
“FBOFW: Oh yuck. This is humor? Do you think Lynn is heading somewhere with this story arc, or is she just torturing her characters and readers with this never-ending tale of geriatric hell?”
The answers are NO, YES, and YES. I feel certain that Johnston has outlined for herself exactly what will happen until THE FREEZING OF THE STRIP this September, and that she has carefully made a calendar schedule in which she has allotted a certain number of weeks for each story-line. (I’m a very organized person, and that’s how I would have done it, anyway.)
These two weeks of the torture of Grandpa Jim (and of all us readers) were decided long ago. Frankly, as much as I hate the other story-lines, I have to say that this has got to be the most boring one I’ve read in a long time. And it just never ends. The only good thing about it has been (and some CC’er pointed this out earlier, but I can’t remember who) that it has allowed us to focus on FW, which has been extremely deserving of our hate these past ten days or so.
Eleusis
May 16th, 2007 at 4:55 am
#74
I have to say that Funky Winkerbean has this week managed to thoroughly underline my disbelief in a loving and benevolent God.
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2007 at 5:04 am
FOOB: If you’re a complicated man, and no one understands you but your woman, raise your hand.
JIM NUTS!
Scud
May 16th, 2007 at 5:07 am
Is Edda supposed to be a like-able protagonist? I’d like to grand jete my foot up her ass.
Jamus The Bartender
May 16th, 2007 at 5:07 am
9CL: Seems like Brooke got himself a copy of “Jaka’s Story” from the Cerebus series by Dave Sim. Does this mean Edda is gonna do time in Gitmo? Probably not. She’ll probably ballet dance in the street with a sign that says “I work for a living” or somesuch.
The Cram
May 16th, 2007 at 5:10 am
MT: (Sideburns Q. Mustache) “If only there was a way to attract more birds to the airport AND get rid of these political skeletons in my closet at the same time. Of course…!”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18603646/
dreadedcandiru2
May 16th, 2007 at 5:32 am
Foob: ‘Let’s Strip Grandpa Jim Of Any Remaining Shred Of Dignity’ Week continues as he soils himself in public. What part of the phrase ‘restroom break’ (not to mention ‘bladder control’) doesn’t the twinkie hectoring Chinnuts understand? She’s worked with seniors and she’s never seen incontinence before? Im-bloody-possible!
Crankshaft: ‘Why are we having this conversation?’, Ed? BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T KEEP YOUR FOOL MOUTH SHUT, that’s why!! You’re even stupider than the cat on Get Fuzzy.
GF: Speaking of which, Bucky has a really short memory. Otherwise, he’d have been able to foresee what would happen if he exceeded the limits of Satchel’s tolerance.
FW: I’m guessing Batiuk wrote the book first and he’s serializing it in the strip. That’s the only way it makes sense. I’d say she’d be taking a permanent leave of absence from her law firm. That’s the thing about the Big Sleep: only the Almighty can wake you up.
LuAnn: Our Miss DeGroot yanks the pompom girl’s chain today just to see her sweat. This is what happens when stupid people try to get revenge.
Keg of Curd
May 16th, 2007 at 6:08 am
Come on, Luann (Don’t fear the Ryder)
Baby take my hand (Don’t fear the Ryder)
We’ll be able to fly… (Don’t fear the Ryder)
Les
May 16th, 2007 at 6:30 am
9CL: I gotta defend this. If you’re in the arts or academics, you put in way more than 40 hours a week and are constantly working on somethng. Edda dances with a company, but us freelance types also have to do all sort of grant-applying, accounting, publicity, etc too. And there are a lot of people who really don’t understand how much time and energy it all takes and who once took a adult education class in oil painting and think art is a fun hobby. Dancers and instrumentalists, especiall,y dedicate their whole selves to their arts, since it’s so physical for them, as well as cerebral.
I could go on more about this, but I have a gig in 2 days and have to finish some software development so the piece will work.
Pozzo
May 16th, 2007 at 6:31 am
First, we have Johnny making a joke about a mass excavation of tibias, not once but twice. Now the gag deals with office furniture made out of verterbrae. Did have an obsession? For a creationist, he sure made a lot of paleontological jokes.
William Sommerwerck
May 16th, 2007 at 6:42 am
Why does someone’s delusional quasi-psychotic fantasy have to make sense?
Tracer Bullet
May 16th, 2007 at 6:49 am
Speaking of not making sense, 9CL seems to have gone completely bat-shit insane lately. Or maybe completelyy bat-shit pointless. That said, I will be referring to the “Parasite of the Month Club” frequently in the near future.
RMMD: Thill to scenes of wating! Waiting! Waiting! Raaagh, I can’t take it anymore.
TurtleBoy
May 16th, 2007 at 6:52 am
MT: I’ll only be happy if the comissioners’ conversation eventually ends with one of the following lines:
“That’s a pretty bird-brained idea, Lawson!”
“You might say we’re going to flip him the bird!”
“I’m glad we met today, Leo…I guess birds of a feather do flock together!”
MW: Vera’s whippin’ out one of those classic Thomas Dewey disco moves in Panel One. You can always count on Mary Worth for your daily dose of thrill-packed gesticulation!
willethompson
May 16th, 2007 at 6:54 am
Welcome to the May 16th edition of THE FOURTH PANEL!
(DT)GT: “After practice, Clambake Yancey and Jim Gross draw a crowd!â€
Really? That’s the first time anything has been drawn in Gil Thorp.
A3G: “Together, we shall fly!â€
At this point, the ghost starts to lipsynch Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’ but singing instead Don’t fear the Ryder.
MT: “Maybe we can! And I think I know just how to do it!â€
We’ll invite Big Bird from Sesame Street and have him ‘accidentally’ sucked into an engine! That’ll get those tree-hugging liberals to vote YES on Prop 21, Buying New Airport Land From Sideburns Q. Moustache Realty!
RMMD: “We MUST proceed!â€
Ja! Tell Goebbels to crank up zee propaganda and get Goering to get der Luftwaffe to start zee attack on Poland!
JP: “We will sell this flat and everything in it.â€
Including you! I’ve had many offers from the Sheik of Toruga for the one called Redmullet McSweaterpuppies!
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 6:55 am
#4 – Haha!
If Luann survives this episode, she will forever be known as “The Salvia Queen.”
Speaking of Queens, Landy in RM looks an awful lot like the Queen of Diamonds in panel two.
In Mark Trail, today we have a Comissioner who is going to attempt to lay several eggs himself in a quest to load up the tarmac with baby avians.
In the land of FOOB, could we be verging on Funky territory? Will Iris have a stroke of her own, or will Lynn have her whacked before Jim can get “better”?
I’m hoping she simply fainted because Jim farted or something like that.
TurtleBoy
May 16th, 2007 at 6:56 am
Here’s a little bit I wrote up in homage to our favorite women of the comics pages. (Thanks to Josh for the inspiration, a recent post bearing the name “Five sentences about five comics,” and to The Nails.)
88 Lines About 44 (Comics) Women
Thelma was a Catholic girl
And always voted Natural Law.
Edda Burber had twice the legs,
To make up for her absent jaw.
Sally spent her days at work
But night times knockin’ boots with Ted.
Loretta got no love at all,
She just wished her husband dead.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Precocious Ruthie prattled on
And showed batshit insanity,
Iris took great care of Jim
While posing as a manatee.
Tommie was a senseless twit,
She led a fruitless bachelor search.
The Giant Hen just plugged away
With hijinx sent by Rolly Church.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Margo was a high-class bitch,
But she made party-planning cheap.
Mary was a meddling brat
And taught that what you sow you reap.
Ella was a seeress,
Absolving guilt at Charterstone
Connie’s famous pointy breasts
Were fashioned out of silicone.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Cherry Trail made quite the show
With her magic talking boobs,
While Elly thought her queen-sized butt
Made her empress of the Foobs.
Mrs. Halftrack’s heart would rage
With never-ending jealousy
While Molly loved but only got
Misunderstood hostility.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Vera loathed her older bro,
Whom she heaped many curses on.
Rita had a drink or two
Before she shattered Mary’s swan.
Amazing Abbey, wonderdog,
Outshone her human family.
Mrs. Mitchell found that Ritalin
Solved her problem handily.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Momma used to kvetch and kvetch
Until I threw her from the train,
And LuAnn had an artist’s touch,
It’s too bad that she had no brain.
Olive Oyl, at thirty pounds,
Towered high at six-foot-eight,
While Cathy, she did nothing more
Than shop and bitch about her weight.
(Uh-huh, that’s Cathy) Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Neddy was harassed by punques
Who spoke in awkward, tortured French.
Toby was a trophy wife,
Her pompous husband’s nosy wench.
Helga never wanted much,
Her husband led a Viking’s life.
Deanna gave her soul away
To be Saint Michael’s Foobish wife.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Brynna was an alien
With painted chopsticks in her hair
And Dolly’s little melon head
Was mostly filled with stagnant air.
Miss Buxley was in high demand,
Sole girl among the army dudes.
Shannon had a pithy soul
And slowly spoke in platitudes.
Mmm…mmm…mmhmm…mmhmm…MMhmm…
Blondie was a caterer;
That’s allowed as “women’s work,â€
And anywhere Cassandra Cat would go,
Max the Mouse was sure to lurk.
Now Becky, she had just one arm,
A lucky fate in Winkerworld.
And silent Trixie couldn’t speak,
In thought balloons her “jokes†unfurled.
June, she had a helpful lad
Who saw that her garage was clean.
April had no fashion sense
But she was everybody’s roadside queen.
Migraina had to fight the urge
To vacuum Lugbutt’s lazy hide,
And Lisa’s cancer cancer CANCER
CANCER! just will not subside.
The Fat Broad was a stereotype,
Her author came from ages dark.
Alice lived in corporate hell,
Her strip’s too good to draw our snark.
Calvin’s Mom’s no longer seen,
In her absence she is sorely missed,
But Liz, you idiot!, you’re here to stay!
And I chose you to end this list.
88 lines about 44 comics women.
Other_Sally
May 16th, 2007 at 6:58 am
A3G: All right, no one, but NO ONE who paints for a living does so on fly-away sheets of paper. Those should either be stretched canvases set out to dry, or if Lu-Anne MUST paint on paper, it would have to be secured to backing board anyway.
I rather like the idea though, that in Lu-Anne’s dreamword, Albert Pinkham Ryder is taking away her brilliant masterpieces for daring to disobey him, but in the real world we’re about to find out she’s just gotten fume poisoning and has been been lying there with her head in green paint, drooling, the entire time.
Sheilagh
May 16th, 2007 at 6:58 am
Stupid Pluggers crap! It makes my brain hurt!
Pluggers would HAVE to use long division ALL THE TIME because they’re too stupid to figure out a calculator! We all know that! We know it! And now it turns out they don’t use long division EITHER! How the hell do Pluggers do anything! They probably just sit there in their stupid dog/bear caves ogling frumpy chickens and masturbating! I can’t stand it!!!
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 7:09 am
#90 Green paint I’m not certain of, but she’s definitely been getting into something green.
Maybe Luann’s three-month-old microwave burrito ended up looking like Chinbeard’s favorite Jacket, and now our Blond Heroine is paying the price with a goodly case of cramps, confusion, and salmonella.
whoamItoday?
May 16th, 2007 at 7:14 am
Blondie: are Young and/or Le Brun buddies with Barker or something? I mean, usually a strip like this wouldn’t show up the same day as the actual announcement. I’m impressed, I think.
It’d be cool if GT was as up to date, and was doing a strip about famous women Olympic Swimmers posing nude in playboy. (I’m actually all for the idea of women with healthy, non-surgically enhanced bodies posing nude, perhaps some impressionable 8th grade boys will learn something useful.)
#12 Red –tow-headed. really. more information on flax can be found …
#17 –Fred the other baby is just a random infant, Marvin’s red headed, and has a lot more hair.
#46 — Teri no daddies, chinese baby girl was adopted by single mom, just in time too, they don’t allow that anymore.
Ye gods, I’ve become the steward of Marvin. Ick
Squawk
May 16th, 2007 at 7:19 am
Hello, my name is Mark Trail, and I’m looking for a bird problem. Would one of you mustachioed gentlemen be so kind as to give me one?
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 7:21 am
#81 & #87 –
More Cowbell!
whoamItoday?
May 16th, 2007 at 7:23 am
Turtleboy: thanks for that. A parody of a song tuneless enough that it doesn’t really matter that I don’t know the tune, and yet recent enough that I can recall that much about it.
smacky
May 16th, 2007 at 7:24 am
Crankshaft: Okay, how much could either of these comic book dips scratch up to offer for the old lady’s secret stash? Funkytown boy got insurance money from the flood, but how much could it have possibly been? I’m guessing $50K at the most. And Porntown boy offers twice as much, so $100K. As some have noted here, if her comics are truly that rare, a good auction house would get her at least twice the highest offer. But no, she sells them herself, depending on the opinion of her asshole neighbor the school bus driver. Okay…
And I’ll weigh in on the 9CL comic: Fine, I was okay with it this week until today. I dated a concert violinist, and yes, people in the arts work damn hard, and well over 40 hours a week. But she wasn’t so goddamn defensive about people with “real” jobs “not understanding.”
Today the woman just comes off as a colossal douche. I’d like to join the chorus of people saying “Hey ass, do you like eating? Do you like not being homeless? Then be thankful some of the ‘clueless 9 to 5 crowd’ is willing to pay to see you dance!”
She’s also lucky that the normal response to her “I’m a dancer” (and you know she says it with a haughty sigh) isn’t “Oh really? Which strip club? Is it all nude, all the time, or just tastefully topless?”
Sorry # 82, Les. I’m sure you work hard (all freelancers do). But the entire situation is unrealistic. The dancer hangs out with academics all the time, so who are all these “unwashed masses” she’s meeting that think dancing is something you do at a rec center on square dance Tuesday? Is she a part-time greeter at Wal-Mart? I seriously doubt she meets ANYONE who, when hearing her say “I’m a dancer” in response to the question “What do you do?” would then assume it wasn’t her career. It’s a retarded false premise, and we’re supposed to buy that she goes through this exchange often enough that she has to dread it? Bullshit! Is she a member of the only dance academy in backwoods Appalachia? Does she only have this conversation with women who have been in comas since 1954?
Trilobite
May 16th, 2007 at 7:26 am
#89 TurtleBoy — Bravo! Bravissimo!
That was awesome.
Pozzo
May 16th, 2007 at 7:31 am
Is that supposed to be Marvin in the second perambulator? I thought he had him a fine mop o’ red hair, not that wispy blonde hair. I think they had to use another baby, since Marivn’s too old for the baby carriage/binky schtick. I don’t know if there’s another baby character in the strip besides Marvin and the feisty Asian moppet whose name I don’t know, because frankly I can’t be bothered to do research on this pathetic excuse for a strip. Maybe we’re seeing a special guest appearance by Trixie from “Hi & Lois.”
Islamorada Girl
May 16th, 2007 at 7:34 am
The ghost of Albert Pinkham Ryder is really sexy when he’s mad.
Weasel Boy
May 16th, 2007 at 7:38 am
TDIET, 5/16: Movies on TAPE?? I think Scaduto is just toying with us now.
jules
May 16th, 2007 at 8:07 am
If you managed to convince Karl Rove to drop acid and write a comic strip — and I have to admit that I would support you in such a quixotic effort…
Josh, I haven’t laughed that hard in days. Thank you! Now I must clean the coffee off my moniter. Cheers!
willethompson
May 16th, 2007 at 8:09 am
#38 Fred P. who said “Frankly, I find it pretty hard to believe that any electorate would choose a bunch of incompetent crooks, not just once but twice in a row!”
I’d comment on the obvious, but I’d get sent to the cockpit…
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 16th, 2007 at 8:10 am
5/16
Phantom: So hubby’s “Be nice while we’re on this trip” strategy lasted, oh, twenty minutes?
Blondie: Looking at Dagwood’s middle co-worker, I’m starting to wonder if Dean Young can even draw women who have under a J-cup.
DT: Eggs-tree eggs-tree! Lifer detective shows emotion, sprains facial muscles! Read all about it!
(DT)GT: A player nicknamed “Double Duty” who pitches and catches. That about says it all. Did he ever pitch and catch on the same night?
Kudzu: Dunn won’t even spring for a new copy of the Star? I mean, the Kid Rock-Pam Anderson split is prehistory by tabloid standards.
Lockhorns: They’re gonna do it on the scale.
C-Shaft: Let’s see. Comic Book John loses out on the old Timely comics. Comic Book John has to close his store. With time on his hands an an unquenchable thirst for vengeance, he sets about making Crankshaft’s life a constant torment. Batiuk could be pushing into new territory.
Archie: If Archie thinks Veronica Lodge’s vagina constitutes his “usual spot”, he’s reached new heights of delusion.
MT: Is the Diver Dan lookalike going to pull out a top hat, a wand, and a colored scarf? Oh please please please.
td
May 16th, 2007 at 8:11 am
A3G used to make sense?
stinky pete
May 16th, 2007 at 8:18 am
101 WB, re TDIET: Let’s see, the “R” movie rating was instituted in 1968. “Movies on tape” became commonplace and affordable by the mid-1980’s. Therefore there should be no surprises regarding offensive language on any “movie on tape” ever purchased…. Hmmmm… I believe Scaduto has outfoxed himself here.
+10 for having Richard Nixon tell someone “you’re just a meany” in Panel 1, however. And in panel 2, for such lengthy additions to the comic-curse-words lexicon.
Islamorada Girl
May 16th, 2007 at 8:27 am
92-Calico: Why, Cramps, Confusion and Salmonella are the band that’s playing Shawna-Marie’s wedding! Wait until you hear their cover of “Close to You”!
Smitty Smedlap
May 16th, 2007 at 8:28 am
Clambake’s eyebrows have their own eyebrows. (See panel two)
Spoony Bard
May 16th, 2007 at 8:30 am
So Mark Trail is going to kick some civil servant ass? Does anyone remember the Phantom where the president of Bangalangalore punched out some guy while the Phantom watched? I have a feeling this won’t be nearly as dramatic or visually coherent.
Agnes – I know that the dog is simply an older beast wearing a diaper, but I prefer to see every line, seam and wrinkle as the stitchings of Frankendog. If you look back over the past few days, there’s no joke that can’t work just as well with this being a dog of the undead.
miraclemet
May 16th, 2007 at 8:36 am
FOOBville… so I know this is probably only an hour away from never being seen again, but based of a few panels from Lynn I think Grandpa is a “boob-man”
Monday ,Panel 4: The use of quote marks always makes things sound sketchy. Like… we went out for “dinner” and then took a “walk in the park” see? So Grandpa looking his PT worker in the “eyes” sounds like anything but eye contact.
and then we get to Wednesday Panel 6 where it looks like Grandpa Jim is starting right into the headlights of his Physical therapist’s tight but smart sweater…. All thanks to Lynn’s inability to represent depth in her art…
or it could be intentional for the sake of some more “boxcar” comments and Grandpa Jim turning from lovable coot to Senior horn-dog…
Dennis Jimenez
May 16th, 2007 at 8:38 am
I wish Mark would gouge a mark out on the face of the diciplined malfeasors with a ring on his fist, like the Phantom – a beaver ring, perhaps.
Yeah, that’d be cool.
Josh
May 16th, 2007 at 8:38 am
#30 Fred P. — Gahh! You’re right; I fixed.
Josh
Dono
May 16th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Today’s “My Cage” makes no sense.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070516&name=My_Cage
If the shark is running a psychic hotline from his work phone, wouldn’t the company be making money?
If the little duck has a problem with the shark’s productivity, he should just say so instead of pretending it’s “a problem with the phone bill.”
Someone earlier mentioned Big Nate, a strip I always catch up on once a week despite the fact that the cartoonist can’t decide whether Nate is a Zen hipster or an insufferable asshole.
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 8:47 am
#108 – heh – Maybe Pho-evah will “play” too, and April will steal Pornstache away from both Office Chick and Lizard. Or Howard and Cortney will crash the wedding, and Cinnamon Bun can beat the crap out of him again in front of all the guests.
ChefMike
May 16th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Crankshaft: Ed has no stake in this decision, the only reason he’s even present at this transaction is that some people may need to be reminded who the strip is named after. There are only two bidders. If Ed’s neighbor can’t figure out a simple concept like “choose the one who bids highest,” this comic has sunk lower than I ever would have thought possible.
TDIET: In a world where people don’t comprehend the “This film has been edited for content” disclaimer. Networks have to voice over all the cursing to make “good clean family viewing” the fargin sneaky bastages.
MW: “I’m crushing your head!”
MT: He’s thinking of sprinkling birdseed on the runways, isn’t he?
GF: Satchel’s bottled up rage gets a chance to run free again. You go, dog! Get revenge for another whole year’s worth of torture.
Trapper
May 16th, 2007 at 8:47 am
So, today (5/16), we get not one, but two comics talking about porn. First it’s FW & then it’s GT. One’s thinking about Bob Villa & the other is talking about “playing with Ted ‘Double Duty’ Radcliffe” & telling the boys. What’s next? Mary Worth watching unscrambled porn with “Thought Balloon” Vera?????
stinky pete
May 16th, 2007 at 8:50 am
114 Dono, it has been observed many times in this space that comics run into trouble when they start with the punch line in the last panel and then try to work backwards to a setup that makes sense given the strip’s premise. I think today’s My Cage is a perfect example of this problem – the last panel could be worth a chuckle with the right setup, but there’s no logical reason for the duck to guess “psychic hotline” in panel 1, other than to clumsily serve up the punchline.
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 8:53 am
I’m soooo far behind on the comments, it isn’t funny [though they tend to be]. Anyway, a little housekeeping before I dive in:
Dingo — I hope the next interview is better for you, but you must take one of us along as an “associate.†Impromptu glass swan anecdotes really need someone on hand who can appreciate them.
Islamorada Girl — Sorry you had to ditch the car, but if you need a ride to the wedding I was on eBay and picked up the Ford XB GT Falcon that Mel Gibson drove in “The Road Warrior.†It’s a little banged up, but purrs like Cassandra Cat.
Poteet — I remembered your Postulates from yesteryear [literally], back when we thought 100 comments was extreme. I always thought you should have them cross-stitched.
O’Fogeyette — Love the green taffeta, but the second dress really screams out for a chorus of Drink to thee only with mine eyes. Great choice!
See you in about 300 comments.
Fred P.
May 16th, 2007 at 8:55 am
#104 Wille-
Obviously it is unnecessary to name names, but I’m pretty sure you caught what I was trying to say.
ChefMike
May 16th, 2007 at 8:55 am
114: I really just got a bit of a laugh out of the fact that the shark’s desk happens to be a bathtub. trying to create the illusion that well, he is a shark, and needs to be in water constantly. I would be willing to bet that they don’t adhere to that so much either
Ribinin
May 16th, 2007 at 8:57 am
Phantom: Yeah, that’s a smart move, out at sea in an enclosed space, telling him you will have him arrested when you get to shore.
GoofyRobo
May 16th, 2007 at 8:57 am
I remember a pre-ebay Calvin and Hobbes where Calvins dad convinces him that kids come from the Sears catalog. And then points out to a freaked out Calvin that they couldn’t afford that so they got him from K-Mart instead…
Hogen Mogen
May 16th, 2007 at 8:58 am
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0;page=2;quality=high;cpp=8;c=112;c=71;c=20;c=116;c=118;c=144;c=123;c=130;c=140;date=2007/5/16
TDIET: “Out on tape”? You might want to venture into a Wal Mart and check the predominant form of home video. Anyway, if it’s on TV, it’s already out “on tape”.
MT: There’s not much to say about this strip that Josh did not cover so handily above. That is, other than the complaints I shall begin to spew now. What interests me is that this wild and crazy plan that only would find support from someone in severe dimentia or under the influence of mind-altering chemicals is being developed as the daily strip progresses. Yes, folks, we are getting an inside look at the criminal mind of the dastardly villians in Mark Trail. It was Mark’s mere presence at the airport that sparked the idea in their heads. “Dude, there’s this Trail guy looking for birds.” “Huh, yeah, if he wants to see bird problems, let’s give him some.” “Hey, Butthead, wouldn’t it be great if one of those ginormous geese flew low and crapped on his head?” “Huh huh. That would be cool, Beavis.”
I’m late with this thought, but the article in the newspaper that alerted our dimwitted criminals to Mark’s presence just gave me the hall-of-mirrors feeling. In the paper: “Local Reporter Mark Trail Visits Airport To Cover Bird Strike” Next day: “Local Reporter Noah Bigdeal Follows Local Reporters To Give Status Reports” Day after: “Local Reporter I. Doncare Covers Noah Bigdeal’s Recent Article” And so on.
Spiderman: Web up Korkok.
Kordok: Shoot Spiderman.
Holy crap, why do I have to explain these things to the both of you?
Mallard hates China. He’s jealous because their domestic spying program is internet based and W’s uses the old technology of telephones.
DtM: Well, that’s at least a little menacing today. Good work, now go raid the cookie jar.
Dono
May 16th, 2007 at 9:00 am
118–Thanks, Stinky Pete! Hell of a way to run a comic strip, isn’t it?
Wellsey
May 16th, 2007 at 9:04 am
5/15 MT I thought it was quite obvious from the second panel that the seagulls were planning the birdstrike. I think they’ll be working in union with Mark Trail to attack the airport overlords when they leave for their cars at night. They’ll attack and massacre a la Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. And rightly so after these people stripped them of their home, ’swamp land’ and families. Mark will build them a nice wet lands preservation place and all will be right in the Forest again. At least until Monday.
stinky pete
May 16th, 2007 at 9:08 am
Well, I’ve had 2 TDIET ideas rolling around the cavernous empty spaces in my head for the past month or so, and yesterthread’s commenters have convinced me to send them off to Big Al. I don’t care if he uses them as long as I get an email that says “Thanx,” although I guess “Thanks” would also do.
The Avocado Avenger
May 16th, 2007 at 9:11 am
#98 smacky – I couldn’t agree more about 9CL. While I enjoy the drawing in the strip, I loathe the pretentiousness. This week’s run has been a lesson in self-pity. It sounds like the LiveJournal rant of an insecure, second year college student in the arts.
Chupper
May 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am
5/16 Comics:
BC: Caveman dude bought a ridin’ wheel from his evil twin, which then vanished through a wormhole. Luckily the axle remained, and he can take it back to the dealership and beat the shit out of the salesman.
Beetle: Did Secretary microskirt have to write down the message that the fanclub had arrived because she’s too dimwitted to remember it during the long walk from her desk to his? Or does she just carry it in hopes of one day inflicting the fatal papercut to her wrist to escape from military purgatory?
Blondie: The giant-racked blonde who’s prostrated herself outside Dithers’ office is gonna have bruised knees. Oh yeah-h-h-h!! Seriously, it looks like the weight of her huge bozangas is tilting her forward and she’s gonna fall face-first to the floor, but the elasticity of said bozangas will bounce her back up in an eternal cycle.
Dick Tracy: The old hag from Titanic is gonna appear and tell us that whole goddamned story again before chucking the rock overboard.
Get Fuzzy: Go Satch!!
Hagar: The doctor is going to build furniture out of Hagar’s vertebrae.
Mark Trail of Tears: Commissioner Mustache keeps pigeons in his suitcoat.
Mary Whoreth: Vera is preparing for fisticuffs with Mary, with a long overdue “shut the fuck up!” on her lips.
TDIET: The family of J. Posener is so illiterate they can’t even read the ratings scale on the back of movies.
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Dean – I just had to say I’ve caught up with your PS parodies and they are stellar. I esp. like “Meanwhile” and “Fun with Aphasia.”
Dingo – your “Lucky Stiff” mashup is great, too.
Gil Thorpe
May 16th, 2007 at 9:13 am
FOOB: Nothing says humor like an old man crapping his pants. Pure comedy gold!
SatanicMechanic
May 16th, 2007 at 9:13 am
9cwl: “And people would talk to the artist and writer of 9chickweedlane on the street. Talk would turn as talk often does to the nature of his job. “What do you do for a living?”, the mindless plebian would ask. With a deep breath he would say “I draw 9chickweedlane”. “Oh that sounds funny! Like garfield!” the cretin would say, “But, what do you do for a real job?”. The author would turn and walk away with a look of disgust but yet with the nagging feeling that everyone could somehow see behind his clean shiny face the misery that had followed him for years. Years of th knowledge that Playboy had turned down his artwork because his characters were not the slightest bit sexy.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 16th, 2007 at 9:16 am
#117, Trapper said,
“What’s next? Mary Worth watching unscrambled porn with “Thought Balloon†Vera?????”
And then in a truly traumatizing turn of events, Vera will thought balloon “Why, he’s almost as hung as Von.”
gvtucker
May 16th, 2007 at 9:20 am
If you’re boycotting a strip, how will you know if it ever starts making sense?
Ned Ryerson
May 16th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Today’s TDIET reminds me of the time I tuned in to see a few minutes of Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing when it aired on network television because I just had to see how they were going to handle the language. My favorite bowdlerization was the term “mickey fickey”.
Now I’m imagining the Barflo family tuning in to that enjoyable telecast, goin’ down to the five and dime to snap up their own copy of that joint and Great Googly Moogly!!!, Mrs. Barflo will have to fight back the urge to wash Spike Lee’s mickey fickey potty mouth out with Fels Naptha Heavy Duty Laundry Soap !!
John C Fremont
May 16th, 2007 at 9:26 am
A3G – Wow! That Albert Pinkham Ryder is one bad mother-
Lu Ann – “No!”
But I’m talkin’ ’bout Albert Pinkham Ryder.
Lu Ann – I don’t get it…
Foob – Why is the therapist shoving her breast in Jim’s face?
MT – Say, Mr. Elrod, that’s a mighty fine villian you got there, but could you possibly make him more doughy? Panel 3, you say? Ahh. Thank you.
MW – Speaking of Hitler, Vera’s all Nuremberg Rally-y in the first panel, but in the second panel she’s doing her impersonation of Napolean’s brother Kip saying “Yesss…” only angrier. I need drugs.
Phantom – What the… Heavy lifting?! I – I miss my work? Huh? Did I miss something?!
RMMD – Nevermind Hitler, what’s with the guy’s hair in the previous panel? So he’s a corporate monk, or…
SFx – Weber’s taking it easy today. He must be gearing up for a real puzzler tomorrow. Or maybe he’s working on his best Cassandra ever!
9CL – Be nice. I like this strip!
FW – Don’t be nice. I hate this strip!
JP – Don’t cry, Neddy. He’s a liar! A liar! Before this storyline is over, his pants will be on fire!
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2007 at 9:26 am
#4 – COTW. Hands down.
A3G – I guess Luann was using enamels.
FOOB – God, now he can’t even think in words? Look, Lynn, we know you hate men and all that, but could you at least leave the significantly disabled alone?
What’s he supposed to be thinking, anyway? Does the little stick-man mean he has to go to the men’s room, since that’s the men’s-room symbol? Or is it supposed to mean he’s still stuck on “man” and he’s gone from trapped-in-his-own-mind to just plain broken? What is this, Funky Winkerbean?
Gwampa Jim
May 16th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Gwampa in FBOFW is hitting the final stroke out. He is having a massive stroke right there in the PT office.
He will be dead in a couple of weeks (days? oh please oh please) which will bring Granthony and Liz together at the funeral where they will find true love.
Also, at the funeral, Mike will be screaming at Gwampa in the casket “What do you think of my book? Why isn’t he answering me? This is my major opus!!!! Why won’t he tell me what he thinks of me?!?!!?!?!”
Abbey the Wonderdog
May 16th, 2007 at 9:28 am
The thing I look for in a nanny is the ability to understand Robert’s Rule of Order and how to manipulate a board meeting.
That, and the ability to change diapers one handed.
BARK! BARK! BARK!
Mako
May 16th, 2007 at 9:30 am
As promised yesterday- photographic evidence that every bucktoothed librara-bunny is a little bit Cassandra Cat:
http://www.pages.drexel.edu/~sag53/images/librarbunny.jpg
(I had this whole elaborate scheme planned involving my kitchen table and handing a book to my cat, but none of my cats wanted anything to do with my shenanigans. Also, I didn’t have Krazy Kat, so I substituted the next best thing)
commodorejohn
May 16th, 2007 at 9:32 am
P.S. – Once Luann’s been rescued from the brink of death, I cannot wait to see Margo dismiss her tale with a wave of her hand and an upturned chin. First, though, I think it’ll get either a head-bobble or a Wildly Overacted Margo Reaction Shot.
man behind the curtain
May 16th, 2007 at 9:32 am
A3G — I for one am disturbed by this portrayal of Albert Pinkham Ryder as some kind of homicidal maniac. There seems to be no indication in his biography of any such kind of behavior. Why beat up on the memory of a dead man who can’t defend himself? Next thing LuAnn will be channeling Johnny Hart is some kind of sacriligeous manner.
MW — A lot of finger pointing going on. i just hope none of those fingers are loaded.
Groovymarlin
May 16th, 2007 at 9:35 am
FOOB: Oh, the humanity. I think Lynn is a sadist who hates old men. Seriously.
AAckTTpth
May 16th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Jim Meddick, who writes & draws Monty, needs to teach Ongoing Story lessons to every other cartoonist (stripper?) out there. Every day for the last two or three weeks, I have laughed out loud – and ruined a couple of keyboards – at the Man From The Future series (only to be rudely interrupted by the Mom On The Answering Machine for a couple of days). Monty rarely, if ever, gets mentioned here, but it is (mostly) one of my favourites.
The “Man from the Future” – a variant of the fish out of water or culture clash theme – can be a tired hack, but Jim is making this really fresh and funny.
As much as I love to snark, I also like to give props to those who deserve it. IMHO, props to Jim Meddick.
go
May 16th, 2007 at 9:36 am
I do so love to see Satchel inflict bodily injury on Bucky. Maybe he can do a guest appearance on A3G and help throw whatshername out the window.
Justin
May 16th, 2007 at 9:36 am
Ziggy: Bleeeeecchhhhhhh.
Blargh.
Bleeeeeeeefff.
Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
May 16th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Poteet, I don’t see how you could possibly have missed the fake landslide story. It went on for several months, and had a heartwarming and nonviolent conclusion.
MrP
May 16th, 2007 at 9:41 am
Man. I want some of what Luann’s having. It’s gooooood stuff.
stinky pete
May 16th, 2007 at 9:47 am
134 gvt, that’s quite the Zen koan you have posed. Another: if Helen Keller falls in the forest, does she make a sound?
Wally LimpingBean
May 16th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Good thing Lisa is giving up practicing law, she can’t even defend herself when there is clearcut case of malpractice. She rolled over and laid there and let the doctor pile on.
Ooopsy, we screwed up with a major diagnosis, didn’t treat you for months and treated a healthy patient with drugs that have horrible side effects.
yuckkity yuk yuk.
laugh-a-rama
Lurker
May 16th, 2007 at 9:49 am
#75 crabby genes– we don’t know yet that it’s only going to be two weeks of grampa foob’s problems. It might be three. Or four.
Holly
May 16th, 2007 at 9:54 am
90 Turtle Boy: BEAUTIFUL. Just awesome.
Paperback Rifler
May 16th, 2007 at 10:06 am
(THTI)Foob: Yeah, I still think Jim is faking. After all, having soiled underpants is a small price to pay to get the eyeful that he’s getting in that last panel.
TDIET: Okay, never mind the fact that the family is wearing exactly the same clothes in both panels, thereby suggesting that they either ran right out and bought the not-fit-for-televising version of the film and are viewing it again that same evening, or that they each only have one outfit (which would be sad), or that they cycle through their wardrobes at exactly the same rate (which would be odd).
What I would like to know is what words the movie characters could possibly be saying that are so vile and profane that they can cause your beverage to explode right there in your hand. Now that’s some strong language!
Mark Trail: I think this has been said before, and I’ll be the one to say it again: If Grinning, Evil, Mustache Man’s plan to make birds appear out of thin air doesn’t involve our two villains dressing up in bird suits and running around to the old Benny Hill “Yakety Sax” chase music, then I don’t want to know about it.
T. Chicana
May 16th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Foob: Yep, there’s no delicate way to say it. Grandpa just crapped his pants! Why can’t they just let him die with dignity?! And on the first panel, I thought that the therapist was taunting him by saying, “Okay, ready to start? Are you a woman?” As in, “You’re just a little bitch!” But then I realized it was the first in a series of ‘yes or no’ questions. Plus, didn’t Iris retreat for some “me time?” She’s luxuriating on a park bench right now with a cuppa joe! And seriously, why is Grandpa leering at the therapist’s boobs?! This is just plain awful all around!
Nina
May 16th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Turtleboy, great 88 lines!
Ned Ryerson
May 16th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Nicely done Mako (#140). You should submit that to the ALA. That celebrity READ campaign has been done to death and I think it’s about time for a new campaign, something like, I dunno….Librarians are teh Sex!!
MossMoses
May 16th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Finally a use for that previously useless old hag! Comrade Iris, it’s time for diaper duty! What a saint!
“ScrotumChin is through staring at my cleavage now and has just laid a smelly egg in his Depends. Don’t forget to wipe his bunghole good so he doesn’t get diaper rash”…
Shem
May 16th, 2007 at 10:23 am
I find myself undecided as to which pretty, perfect, too-good-for-this-mucky-world princess inspires more hate in every fiber of my being: Rory Gilmore or Edda.
Squid Countess
May 16th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Attention, All Humans: When you meet Edda Burber and she tells you she is a dancer, the correct response is, “Marvelous! Cage or pole?”
Proteus
May 16th, 2007 at 10:31 am
Clambake nothing. That’s an acorn in panel 3.
rodent
May 16th, 2007 at 10:39 am
MT: 15th and 16th reusing panels again. Perhaps all of Mark Trail uses a recurring random pattern of animal close-ups, people, word balloons and fists and the computer compiler is just better than in Archie.
GT: Looks like Clambake’s hair, from behind, is really an alien clamped on the back of his skull, it’s tail trailing into his shirt. Soon, there’ll be vomiting milk bubbles and aliens cracking out of chests galore.
MonkeyHawk
May 16th, 2007 at 10:40 am
With any luck at all Gwampa Jim will croak and the funeral will be scheduled the same time as the wedding! It can be a twofer-crash weekend!!
hidingtazz
May 16th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Personally, I am loving the County Commissioner’s pornstache!
MossMoses
May 16th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Today’s MW has two panels with dramatic finger points. There is absolutely no other strip in comicdom that uses the pointing finger device more than Mary Worth. Mary’s advice is spot on, albeit somewhat hypocritical, smug and pretentious. “Listen to what he has to say”. Had she actually listened to Aldo, rather than intervening, he might be alive today.
The skewed perspective between panels one and two makes me feel a little nauseous. Are we to assume that they are still seated in panel two? How did they suddenly go from two feet apart to being co-joined at the waist? There’s a whole lot of intrapanel juxtaposition going on.
How can you get the people fired up over a problem we don’t have any more? Easy, you tell them the birds are part of a plot by evil Al Qaeda terr’ists to cripple America’s civil aviation.
man behind the curtain
May 16th, 2007 at 10:47 am
#162 — But if this happens then Liz won’t have a date for the wedding. Of course, if the funeral is after the wedding then she can still bring Grandpa. We’ll see how many people at the wedding will notice that Grandpa is dead. eeven dead, he’d still be morelively then some of the Foobians.
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Even Max Mouse can see the evil County Commissioner’s plot is going to lay an egg!…Waitresses, tips, veals, weeks.
Hogen Mogen
May 16th, 2007 at 10:52 am
#14 – Folderol: BC – I think Johnny Hart is saying that the chiropractor takes vertebrae out of his patients and they leave the office slithering out like snakes, which isn’t funny but just weird.
I’m no geologist but, since snakes have spines, they would slither like worms. So no bilblical reference either, just grotesque Nazi/Hannibal Lechter creepy.
Nina
May 16th, 2007 at 10:58 am
After taking care of my father in law for years with the big Alz and Parkinson’s, LJ does not have one drop of compassion for the elderly. I hope she thinks Me me me Michael will wipe her ass when she gets old only to find out she is What a Bitch!
Nina
May 16th, 2007 at 10:59 am
oops! on her own because of her selfish children!
bootsybooks
May 16th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Turtleboy, that was beautiful! *sniffs*
and #39 Fred P., please see C. Ray Nagin, two term mayor of New Orleans and complete retard, and on the federal level… wait, oh no no! Not to the cockpit! Aw, Melkardammit!
Squawk
May 16th, 2007 at 11:04 am
In defense of 9CL, I don’t find Edda’s comically snooty attitude about being a ballerina anywhere near as obnoxious as Michael Patterson’s contrived “Aw, shucks, I’m just a regular guy” stance about landing a miracle book deal for a pretentious, self-overrated pile of crap.
Duane Schneider
May 16th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Um, Josh, just when DID Apt3G make sense?
More zippers, Mule.
[boxcar]
andreavis
May 16th, 2007 at 11:07 am
#140 Mako– way to represent the profession… thhe library profession, I mean. Take that, Slylock!
dimestore lipstick
May 16th, 2007 at 11:11 am
Is the mustachioed skulldugger in today’s Mark Trail a “Mythbusters” fan?
Because a storyline involving a NASA Chicken Gun would be awesome.
Hogen Mogen
May 16th, 2007 at 11:13 am
RMMD: Unlike Nolan & Wilson, I’ve actually attended the stifling boredom of board meetings. Do they know that you can phone in if you’re not going to be there in person? We sometimes have several members attend via phone conference. It’s been around since the 70’s or maybe 60’s. Avery International, a high tech firm, is not aware of teleconferencing capabilities. Hmm…. What the hell do they do anyway?
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 11:16 am
140 – Mako– Please forgive me, but I couldn’t help myself. I was checking out your “books”.
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 11:16 am
We now have confirmation that Al Scaduto has not left the house since roughly 1948, as today’s
TDIET clearly lifts it’s patois from this cartoon from the first week of Steve Canyon. It also lays to rest the raging controversy from last January as to what the boxcar Steve meant by “What you said.â€
Pammeey
May 16th, 2007 at 11:18 am
I’m pretty sure the year on BC is actually 1397. Which would make sense, as no one knew what a chiropractor was then, let alone anytime BC.
Hogen Mogen
May 16th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Ok, so I’m glad that Ed Crankshaft is the only one in that strip with a shred of sense. How much do you want to bet that the neighbor lady only invited Crankshaft in order to do the opposite of whatever Cranky recommended?
Hogen Mogen
May 16th, 2007 at 11:27 am
Marked Trail: Suddenly, a third mustached man enters the room. “Where do you want these sticky bun crumbs, boss?”
O’Fogeyette
May 16th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Josh from yesterthread: Thank you for explaining why you used the singular “they.” I respect you even more, knowing now that in your professional editing and writing you put time into figuring out how to avoid sexist and illiterate language. Would that more editor/writers followed your example.
Calico
May 16th, 2007 at 11:40 am
#161 – Looks like Dan’s fake beard to me!
So that’s where it went after the FOJ.
zeeba
May 16th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Fellow librarians: The Texas Library Association produced a cheesecake calendar this year with MALE librarians wearing, well, not much. So much for stereotypes!!
5/15
FC: After reading this, I SO wanted Billy (or is it Jeffy? can’t tell them apart when they’re sitting down) to bitch slap Daddy dearest for calling him “little man.” Yeah, Billy, grow a pair like Satchel did today in GF!!
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Today’s TDIET reminds my of an episode of Falcon Crest…or was it Dallas? or was it Dynasty? where John Forsythe or Patrick Duffy, or William R. Moses said “I don’t give a flying damn”
Mibbitmaker
May 16th, 2007 at 11:42 am
#90 (Turtleboy):
http://joshreads.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1069
Great minds parody alike?
Props for getting milage out of the song’s one gender; I took the easy way on that score.
zeeba
May 16th, 2007 at 11:42 am
*5/16
sorry, date’s wrong!!
Anon
May 16th, 2007 at 11:44 am
I am a male librarian and I know quite a few other male librarians.
Cheesecake?
Yeah, a lot of them have it for desert.
Would I want to see them (or me, for that matter) in stages of undress? Only if the stomach pump at the emergency room was down.
Dactyl
May 16th, 2007 at 11:46 am
MT: This strip has caused some real soul-searching for me. Being the tree hugger that I am, last week I would have thought that a world in which people would get so fired up about birds as to do, well, anything, would have been a paradise. But if it means a world in which bird lovers would engage in pointless multimillion dollar construction contracts to the benefit of creepy county officials, then I need to rethink my conclusion. And if it further means a world in which a square-faced patriarchal naturalist with violent tendencies is the strongest and cleverest person alive, then I need to rethink all of my philosophical and political affiliations, as well as the point of life on earth generally.
queek
May 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am
105: (DT)GT: A player nicknamed “Double Duty†who pitches and catches. That about says it all. Did he ever pitch and catch on the same night?
If he did, he’d be named Pierre.
as for daily comments:
PBS: Death seemed so much taller in 9CL.
O’Fogeyette
May 16th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Yesterthread Jamus: thanks for the Buffy information. I can’t believe I’m going to buy Buffy comics at my age.
Yesterthread Fizzy: I would so be in awe of any mudge who won the New Yorker caption contest. I once came up with the same as the winning caption, but I never send them in because I usually get the New Yorker the day after the contest closes.
Marked Trail
May 16th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Ok, so you want to **sniff** save the birds.
Just where do you propose that we build the new airport where it will not impact the bird population? Or other wildlife population, for that matter?
Elrod logic if I ever so it.
blecccccchhhhh
willethompson
May 16th, 2007 at 11:53 am
#180 Hogen Mogen – COTW!
Wisconsinite
May 16th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Between Ziggy and FBOFW, is today some sort of icky theme day that I don’t know about?
I usually read the comics while chomping down some breakfast in the morning – Ziggy’s was the first comic that I can ever recall literally putting me off my appetite.
Especially since the term “buffet” implies a copious amount of consumption.
Eeeewwwww!
Mibbitmaker
May 16th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
MT: (A short rewriting of the Carpenters)
Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime they are near?
Villians, gee,
They’ve got to be
Mustache men
(DT)GT: Hey, Clambake’s black again! Daily comics colorists are as slow as a Mary Worth storyline.
A3G: Tinkerbell he’s not! I’m no psychiatrist, but soon the byline on A3G is going to read: “Margaret Napoleon and Frank Get-Me-The-Hell-Out-of-Here” (or “Frank I’m-Stuck-Drawing-For-A-Crazy-Lady”… or he could go all Stanley Johnson and just sign “Frank Somebody-Help-Me”)
S-M: Battle of the Dumb Guys: Elimination Round
FW: Les, I believe the internet abbreviation is “TMI”. I guess an annoying camera hog with a bullhorn gets him hot. Or maybe Les’s creator Batiuk just really, really gets off on tragic, manipulative sentimentality. That would explain alot.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 16th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Is it a bird strike? Is it a train wreck? No! It’s 9CL colliding with TDIET! And it features a DOUBLE Urge! Ohhh-h yea-h-h-h!!!
Panel 1: Two smartly-dressed, attractive young women converse on the street.
Caption: Does Lovely Ledda the ballerina hate, HATE, H-AAAA-TE IT when people don’t take her profession seriously…? Oh-h-h yeah-h-h! Like so!
Other woman: Oh, so you’re a dancer! I wish I had that much free time! You know, I used to take ballet when I was a child… was quite good too, if I do say so myself… yas-s… But eventually, we all have to grow up and get a real job, y’know? Ha, ha!…”
Label pointing toward Ledda:The Urge to “Grand Jete” Her
Panel 2: Ledda in a cluttered computer shop, picking up a laptop from a nerdy guy in glasses and suspenders.
Caption: But when the shoe’s on t’other foot, how much does Ledda understand OTHER peoples’ jobs? UH-ohh!
Ledda: This much to fix my computer? And why’d it take so long?! How hard could it be to push a few buttons anyway?! Honestly, I bet I could do this myself if I wasn’t so busy! Dancing’s a full-time job! Did I mention I’m a ballerina? Waal, I am… yadda, yadda…
Label pointing toward nerd: The Urge to “Reboot” Her
MonkeyHawk
May 16th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
A cut-and-paste:
Theodore Roosevelt “Double Duty” Radcliffe (July 7, 1902–August 11, 2005) was at his death thought to be the oldest living professional baseball player (it was later discovered that Silas Simmons was born seven years earlier in 1895), one of only a handful of major league (considering the Negro Leagues major) players who lived past their 100th birthdays, and a former star in the Negro Leagues. Playing for more than 30 teams, Radcliffe had more than 4,000 hits and 400 home runs, won about 500 games and had 4,000 strike-outs. He played as a pitcher and a catcher, became a manager, and in his old age became a popular ambassador for the game.
Damon Runyon coined the nickname “Double Duty” because Radcliffe played as a catcher and as a pitcher in the successive games of a 1932 Negro League World Series doubleheader between the Pittsburgh Crawfords and the Monroe Monarchs. In the first of the two games at Yankee Stadium Radcliffe caught the pitcher Satchel Paige for a shutout and then pitched a shutout in the second game. Runyon wrote that Radcliffe “was worth the price of two admissions.” Radcliffe considered his year with the 1932 Pittsburgh Crawfords to be one of the highlights of his career. The Crawfords beat the Monarchs 5-1 in the best-of-nine series.
More information on Ted “Double Duty” Radcliffe can be found…somewhere.
banana
May 16th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
#195: spectacular spider brick, that was *really* good! send it in
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
PC — Finally, a candidate we can all get behind.
Mibbitmaker
May 16th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
FC: “But, Dad, I have all those neato worms from inside my brain we could use!!”
Lockhorns: I think Leroy lost his nerve when he said “I do”. They both did.
FOOB: The woman can only read Jim’s mind when he thinks in pictures. Too bad.
9CWL: I think Edda really does harvest souls for Satan. In fact, in this strip, all the woman — and Thorax — do. Brooke doesn’t, though; he just wants to be Aaron Sorkin creating “Studio 60″…. well, not anymore…
srah
May 16th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
#195 – I think all of our TDIET submissions from now on should be thinly veiled references to other comics. It’s our Curmudgeonly duty!
(I say “our” as if I had ever gotten off my lazy butt and sent one in. “Slotherella has lots of ideas about what other people should do…. but when it comes to actually doing it, does she? No way! Ohhh yeaaah! Etc.”)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 16th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Banana @ 197: Thanks. If it’s going to have a chance of being accepted though, it’ll have to be a little more universal. So I followed the same theme of “person irritated by having their job misunderstood doesn’t understand others’ jobs”, and came up with this, which I did submit:
I think that some of the internal jokes (Dr. Glamerus, “Designing for Dorks,” “It ain’t brain surgery!”) give me a good chance. Wish me luck!
musteion
May 16th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Comics work with a certain language… stink lines, X-ed out eyes, etc.
Today, we learn from Marvin that in the language of comics:
Vaguely Asian baby amidst white babies = adopted.
Noted.
O’Fogeyette
May 16th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
90 Turtleboy: I love your tribute!
gh: Do you really only access CC from work? How the margo do you get any work done?
Mountain Mama
May 16th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
#201–Spider-Brick!!! Awesome job!
And Turtle Boy! Great lyrics! I don’t know the tune, but that was a great job. I really like how you worked in the Fat Broad and Molly, too.
off-model
May 16th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
124, 135, today’s TDIET reminded me of this store: Clean Pick Family Flix.
Unfortunately the TDIET family will no longer be able to buy the edited version of their movie there, because apparently the movie industry cracked down on that practice.
I’m basing that on signs in the shop’s windows politely ranting about folks in the movie industry and asking people to write letters in protest.
Personally I think the movie industry should crack down on editing the TV version of movies so people like that poor family won’t be misled and the rest of us can actually enjoy the movie.
Effingham
May 16th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I just want to know when A3G became “Passions.”
The ManRayX
May 16th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
195 & 201 The Spectacular Spider-Brick. . .alarming and disarming talent!. . .did you gain your supernatural TDIET powers after being bitten by a radioactive Scaduto?
I am in awe! Oh yeeeaaaaah!!!
Gabe
May 16th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
What is the language of Scaduto? Albonics? Scadophonics?
willethompson
May 16th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
#195 ASB – Woohoo! Or should I say, OH, YEA-A-A-A-A-H!
MossMoses
May 16th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
198. GH, how about this Holy Trinity?
http://www.thismodernworld.com/blog/hell.jpg
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
#203 O’Fogeyette
With rare exceptions, yes. As for work, well, I’m fortunate enough to be employed in higher education, where 1) process counts for more than product [meaning any degree of efficiency will cause the administration to swoon with disbelief, as most everyone is in committees all day, making sure no one’s feelings are getting hurt if, god forbid, an actual decision is made – and I am free from committee duties] and 2) I’ve been doing what I do for a looong time. I get the job done, then I play. I put systems in place to do in – literally – two hours what took my predecessors eight. The reason I came to CC in the first place is that after being in the position for about 18 months I was bored Saturnless. I’ve never looked back. Please don’t tell, or the song parodies will drop off precipitously. No more Rolling Stones for you!
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
#195 The Spectacular Spider-Brick
THAT was pitch-perfect!
#210 MossMoses
They look familiar . . . [I was just on the TT website checking out the latest cartoon]. Did you mean Unholy Trinity?
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I was going to comment on how boring the Gwampa Jim storyline has been, but like the rest of you, have thought over the other storyline options: Mike, Elly, Lizardmess, Apwil, John, Mewidef, Shan-non, Granthony. No, there are no winning alternatives here, the most we can hope for is a Pyrrhic victory. By that I mean a storyline in which they all die horrifying, bloody deaths and we, the victorious reader, get to see each and every one of them.
Dennis Jimenez
May 16th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
207 – When did SF become Days of Our Lives? When did MW become Another World. OK – MW has always been another world.
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
gh – I just need to point out that the awesomely bad green dress for Shawna-Marie’s wedding was mine. I especially wanted you to know this fact, as I was picturing in my mind how nicely I would look offsetting your orange tuxedo. And the Spectacular Spider Brick’s outfit as well. (Mr. Logic is taking a pass on this event, strangely enough).
Porky
May 16th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Satanic Mechanic… that was brilliant!
9cwl: “And people would talk to the artist and writer of 9chickweedlane on the street….”
MossMoses
May 16th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
213. FL, good point. It’s pick your poison. I would love it if there were streptococcus pyogenes in the food at Shawna Marie’s wedding, or a terr’ist attack where infidel Pattersons are kidnapped and beheaded…
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
#215 fizzy logic
I remember your dress, which is truly awful. I think O’F originally picked another one. I could be wrong. I’ve heard of Spider-Brick’s tux, but missed it somehow.
Anyway, I’d be honored to orange up your green. We’d look like some mutant pumpkin patch.
Justafoob
May 16th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
We are all hoping for a Moldavian Massacre at the wedding.
Well, I still hoping the Gillian Anderson will reconsider and run off with me, but I think the restraining order is still in effect.
Anywho…..
majolo
May 16th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Spectacular Spider-Brick, very nice! I have wondered if Al favors submissions that have the patois already inserted, or (my guess) more of a plain vanilla that he can season to his liking. Either way, send it in!
dimestore lipstick
May 16th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
#82, Keg of Curd–
Needs more cowbell.
Trilobite:
Does calling Vera a Nazi (Not to mention all this talk of Hitler showing up at board meetings) invoke Godwin’s law?
bats
May 16th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
9CL: I really do like this strip, if for no other reason that it’s too cutting edge for our local paper. I don’t even mind Edda, although I’d probably hate her in real life (pretty ‘n’ smart ‘n’ talented) — then again, she has gross-out feet.
After ALL THE WORDS, though, I hope Brooke will reward us visually-oriented types with a few all-Solange, no-word strips…definitely the highlight of the franchise.
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
#218 – gh – Great, we’ll look like a moldy orange! To see the Spectacular Spider-Brick’s outfit, just click on his name – it’s a classic.
O’Fogeyette
May 16th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
gh: thanks for the explanation. Having worked a bit in “higher” education myself, I understand perfectly. Except I don’t understand why you don’t have a computer. Even pluggers have computers, though they probably call them adding machines.
gh and fizzy: first, yes I did have another dress in mind originally, but couldn’t get too much into it. When I saw that Cointreau number, even though it appears to be made of some sort of mutant latex, I just had to have it. And the bright red will nicely complement your green and orange.
JB
May 16th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
You know, thirty years ago BC was actually pretty good.
Where the Hell is Heck?
For many strips (Pogo! Peanuts!) we ask why the strip was not allowed to die with its creator. For BC, the question is reversed.
juggernaut
May 16th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
If you hold a mirror up to Pluggers, do you get 9CL? I think maybe you do. If we could get the artists to do a mashup, I think it would play out much like Caddyshack.
And I used to LIKE 9CL, really. But, HOLY FUCKING SHIT what a contemptious, bitter snob this dude has turned into.
Seriously – stop trying to draw erotic females, and just go get yrself laid.
zeeba
May 16th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
#187 Anon:
http://www.txla.org/temp/TLAmen.html
Yeah, I didn’t buy it and I don’t think I could stand to look at it for very long if I did.
BTW, please someone refresh my memory, have they had Shawna-Marie’s wedding in FOOB yet or did it happen when I was on vacation???
Lynngineering
May 16th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
FBOFW:
Hmm. Do the letters now stand for “Filial Bodies Of (the) Fate Warden”? We all know who the warden is here…
Can’t blame poor Jim for his functions in Michael’s dream. He’s just a role responding to the author’s situation, and a bad one at that. Michael wants so badly to be King Jim that there’s a natural reciprocality at work:
Michael lays in his hospital bed, coma having wiped out most any control of his body, so his mind wanders constantly to control of relations, and to what’s in arm’s reach – his close family, and of domination, revenge, seen now in the Grandpa “reeducation” process.
But Michael’s actual uncontrolled bodily functions register and constantly betray his mind’s boundless fantasy.
First he gets all hot and bothered (assume the nurse is giving him his daily spongedown, Dee has stopped visiting long ago) and sure enough, in his fantasy, his “Grandpa Jim” is suddenly trying to make significant eye contact with his guard/teacher – who sort of looks like..familiar as well…
Next Michael’s conscious realizes his body is going to convert the potential bedroom moment into a bathroom one, and parallel there’s Grandpa urgently throwing his hands up, for Iris to move him – pronto to the toilet.
Michael’s fantasy ultimately calls for finally sitting on the family throne, and I guess mind and body didn’t get the memo, which throne…
Professor Fate
May 16th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
FW: I hadn’t been following the strip for years until I found this website (i was sooo lucky) so forgive me for not knowing but she’s a lawyer? a lawyer and she sat there listening to how her doctor’s screwup had killed her (let’s not mice words here – this is funky winkerbean – she’s dead, it’ll be long slow and painful becuase this is FW but she’s dead) and did nohing but now because she is/has cancer again she is going to give up her law practice? The hell is this? Your work is one of the things you use to help you fight – that is if you like it.
Actually I get the uneasy feeling looking at these strips that Batiuk REALLY LIKED BEING ILL. When he was sick he was the center of attention and he didn’t really have to do much, he could be passive and whine and people catered to him and he didn’t have to do anything. Like work. Or relate to other people’s feelings or emotions or even pretend to care about anyone else. ( I don’t know if this is true but it sure feels like it)
and I have to say – i have never seen a creator be as consitantly as mean and nasty and just as flat out cruel to his own creations as Batiuk is.
FOOB: ugh. But as dull and stuipid as this storyline is, it keeps us away from the pornstache (and is it me or is Anthony even uglier of late? Something about cheeks full or freckles on a grown man is just grossing me out)
Trilobite
May 16th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
221 dimestore lipstick — If I say “yes,” does that mean that the current Mary Worth storyline involving Vera and Von will end?
Because I will totally say yes if that’s the case. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes, anything if it will just make them go away.
Perky Bird
May 16th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Everyone’s planning their trip to crash Shawna-Marie’s wedding, and I was feeling all left out because I can’t afford such lovely dresses as the rest of the Curmudgeon ladies are wearing, being a Plugger and all. *sniff*
But this weekend, as I was adding some of my hubby’s old undershirts to the rag-bag, I came across an old bedspread that the cat had stained with a giant hairball barf. And, being a Plugger, I suddenly thought, you know, this bedspread might not be good enough for a bedspread anymore, what with that giant cat-barf stain and all, but I bet it would make a lovely dress! After all, who wouldn’t look good in a black-and-white toile dress (frolicking peasant motif, no less!)? And a bright magenta butt-bow would be just the accessory to cover up the cat barf stain!
So I’m going to pull out my sewing machine and stitch myself a fine dress, so I can join the party, too. That is, if there will be room for one more party crasher? *bats eyelashes charmingly*
BigTed
May 16th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
For all those who mentioned the horror of FBOFW’s Grandpa Jim getting hot for his therapist over the past few days, am I the only one who thinks in the last panel he appears to be sniffing, ogling and/or getting ready to nuzzle her boob?
I think long-suffering Iris is about to kick him out on his butt, stroke or no.
Justafoob
May 16th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
How come just the ladies get to wear frilly dresses? I think that weed is going to show up in something frilly, and I believe that if I were invited, I would too….
Carry on….
Sarelro
May 16th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
FW: Um…What is Funky’s other hand doing in today’s strip? And why is he talking about porn?
Never mind. I don’t want to know.
DCBirdblaster
May 16th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Just wanted to throw this out, but Johnny Hart died last month. All the strips are repeats. So, just keep this in mind before one speaks ill of the dead.
Paperback Rifler
May 16th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Also, Aldo looked like Captain Kangaroo. I’m just mentioning it in case it hadn’t been acknowledged or discussed previously.
Harry Worth
May 16th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
And Kelrast is an anagram for stalker.
FYI.
Little Guy
May 16th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Josh: You have to give A3G another chance.
Right now, it’s more entertaining that Funky and Foob combined.
Little Guy
May 16th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Oh, yeah, before I forget —
FOOB: So, does Grampa Chin-nuts ogle while he poops, or does he poop while he ogles?
Dingo
May 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Calico #130: Thanks for liking the “lucky stiff” image. I’ve updated the page with some of my older stuff back on and a new Dancin’ Karate-chop Action Vera. Enjoy.
Anon
May 16th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
ha ha ha Gwampa Jim is pooping….. IRIS!!!!
oooops, he is stroking out…..
oh well, I am just a PT anyway….
arghous
May 16th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
“And that’s not the worst part. After she adopted me she got drunk and named me ‘Oki Merlot’.”
Dingo
May 16th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Hmm… interesting. The last comment didn’t get through but that one did. Lemme try sending the last comment.
Calico #130. I have a new one to add to my imagery. Behold, the Dancin’ Karate Vera.
Mako
May 16th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
176 Red Greenback- I assure you, they’re first editions.
BCist
May 16th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Did the late Mr. Hart have a bad experience when H.R. Giger offered to be his chiropractor? Because that might actually be a helpful tip.
nsr
May 16th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
MT- maybe Mark will scare the birds with a talking building. It seems to work fine in panel two.
Dingo
May 16th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
OKI MERLOT
to the melody of the ‘Flipper’ theme song
They call her Oki, Oki, Japanese geisha,
Notice the face, ya? Ethnicity!
And we know Oki, lives in a world full of wonder
Call for the thunder! June-zilla, all flee!
Everyone loves the sticks in her hair,
Ever so ethnic and yet with a flair,
They make men want to smell dairy air,
And visit her personal Pittsburgh!
They call her Oki, Oki, last name of Merlot,
Serve her with brie, such ethnicity!
If you are cocky, stocky, don’t ask for bukkake,
You’ll get a shock. Eee! It’s gonorrhe-ah!
King Folderol
May 16th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
#167 – Touche, you inscrutable bastard.
King Folderol
May 16th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Marvin – Don’t forget the racist overtones of the fact that the Asian baby doesn’t know a simple word like adopted but does know all about the Internet and how to use Ebay.
Meanwhile
May 16th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
To anyone who has ever claimed “First”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciG-Xs7mBwU
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
#223 fizzy logic
re ASB’s tuxedo: Ah! And BWAHAHAHA! Mr. Spider-Brick. I’d clicked on that before, but didn’t make the connection.
#224 O’Fogeyette
I thought I remembered a little green frou-frou number. In any case, the red will compliment the green and orange nicely. And I have a photo-shoot set up with AppleGirl’s magenta & teal number as well.
I do have a computer at home, but sitting in front of it does not, shall we say, contribute to gross domestic production. It layeth not tile, nor doeth laundry. Nor strippeth wallpaper. There’s Calvin, then there’s Calvin & Hobbes, if you get my drift.
#231 Perky Bird
No one is invited, so everyone is expected to show up. We want so many crashers that we can complain about the food and drinks running out early and what kind of crappy reception is this anyway? It won’t be a real wedding if the groom’s dad doesn’t slug at least one guest [Anthony] and we get a hair-pulling match on video — hopefully between Shawna-Marie and Liz over all her uninvited “friends” [us].
I'm Not Snarky Enough
May 16th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
I hate to admit it, but I actually liked that Ebay joke. Just because I can visualize it so clearly.
Also, I too support the effort to make Karl Rove drop acid and write a daily cartoon.
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Dingo-The line: “They make men want to smell dairy air” made me tip my waitress. Bravo, Sir!
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
#224 – O’Fogeyette – Yes, please come sit/stand by us at the wedding to truly finish off the moldy orange motif! That would be spectacular!
#231 – Perky Bird – Sounds like you’ll fit right in! It’s BYOB – for a Plugger, isn’t that a six pack of whatever’s on sale?
MossMoses
May 16th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
239. Little Guy, ScrotumChin craps his Depends from excitement after ogling. Sadly, defecating in his diaper is as close as he can get anymore to busting a chubby. It’s either that or maybe the sight of his hag tormentor made him launch the fecal torpedo out of fear…
Proteus
May 16th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
So AP Ryder’s ghost is a demonic, bloodthirsty ghoul who lures innocent maidens to their death. OK, I think we can all live with that, meme-wise. But I am having a hard time with all those paintings of pretty little flowers. I guess I’d expect something a just bit edgier, you know? Death on a Pale Horse, etc. Maybe he just has to work with the material he’s got, which in this case is Luann. Pretty, boring, empty, pointless Luann.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
May 16th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Another cartoonist passes away:
http://www.comics.com/comics/rudypark/index.html
(most interesting demise since Vaughn Bode)
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 16th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
The ManRayX @ 207: The Spectacular Spider-Brick absorbs the powers of whoever’s cranium he crashes into. That’s how I got my Spider-powers in the first place. Apparently, somewhere in my random, sightless flights, I’ve impacted the cranium of a particular TDIET cartoonist. Scaduto powers awaa-a-a-y! Oh, yeah-h-h!!!
gh @ 218: Click my name to see my wedding outfit. I’ll change the picture when the wedding’s over, or when a more amusing opportunity comes up.
DCBirdBlaster @ 235: Hart was a talentless, pedantic, preachy hack when he was alive. Now that he’s dead, we should pretend his work deserves respect? No. He can’t hear us now anyway. And if the family members sucking their sustenance like so many maggots from his mouldering body of work don’t like it, maybe they ought to slink away and find some honest work.
Fried Froid w/ Squid
May 16th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
#257 Oops, I misunderstood the notice. The guy that the charactor in the cartoon was based on died. My bad.
(but still an interesting way to go)
HBGlord
May 16th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
#239, 255 — “Double Duty,” indeed!
gh
May 16th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
#258 The Spectacular Spider-Brick
See #251. [For ASB, read SSB]. Dang keyboard.
HBGlord
May 16th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
#119 — And happy 1,000th post to everyone! (I’m just demonstrating that i’m even farther behind than gh.)
DaveyK
May 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
#76 – I have to say that Funky Winkerbean has this week managed to thoroughly underline my disbelief in a loving and benevolent God.
That can mean just one thing: you only started reading Funky Winkerbean this week.
A3G – I think we’ll come to find that a single carbon monoxide detector could have prevented several months of this strip. Of course, not reading was an option, but it seems like most of us did not avail ourselves of that option. Probably because of an irrational belief that it could not get any worse despite the fact that, each day, it got worse.
Ferd Berfel
May 16th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
9CL – Poor Edda. No one thinks her being a ballerina is a real job. Boo-effing-hoo. You want to be taken seriously? Start grinding against pole in a g-string while a crowd of drunks ‘buck tuck’ your way into two grand a night and a coke habit. That’s a real dancing job, kitten.
(DT)Foob – Ha ha! Granpa Chin-Nuts wet his pants! How funny and poignant! You blow dead bears, Lynn Johnston. You and Batiuk probably get along real well.
GF – Go Satchel! Pound that furry little bastard like we all wish we could! Don’t forget to put the boot in too!
(DT)GT – I’m really enjoying the strip’s “Magical Negro” period. Wanna bet Clambake helps with Coach Mrs. Coach Gil Thorp’s mammogram?
MW – Just what did Vera do anyway? Shit in Von’s cornflakes or something?
Popeye – Popeye’s well meaning attempt to break Wimpy’s continual mooching has driven Wimpy into the arms of the nefarious Sea Hag! Stay tuned!
RMMD – Poor cellphone recpetion and traffic jams. Can it get any more gripping! And what about June’s breasts?
SF – Don’t worry about Ted, folks. This is a great opportunity for the ‘man’. The La Cage aux Folles review in Vegas is hiring. Ted can finally get away from Sally and claim his true sexual orientation at the same time.
gnome de blog
May 16th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
It occurs to me that since both her best friend Margo (who else could her best friend be — Tommie?) and her true love du jour paused at her door and thought better of knocking, it’s time for LuAnn to go.
Mooncattie
May 16th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Yikes! I’ve been waiting all day to come home and read today’s blog and comments, only now I’m too late in the evening, the thread must be nearly over, and I can’t think of anything to add!
Except:
MT’s County Commissioners must rank as two of the lamest examples of evil mustachioed characters in recent comic history. Obsessed as they are with birds, people who write newspaper articles about birds, and airports that don’t have enough birds in them, they don’t even take time for the Senior Municipal Official’s traditional three-hour lunch at the local Strip ‘n Brew. As #116 mentions, the next act for these two sorry saps is to probably spread birdseed in the dead of night along the runways and then hope for a series of airline tragedies. If they REALLY want to cause trouble, all they need to do is rage about how the crooked Airport Manager hired his OWN DAUGHTER as an Airport Biologist. Then they can sack the Hills, while stressing the need for a new A380 Airbus-ready facility on land that they will make available for a very reasonable price (and which I hope to God is adjacent to the Lost Forest).
Spectrum Rider
May 16th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I read the comics in my newspapers (SF Chroncle, SJ Mercury News) somewhat compulsively – if it’s on the page, I’ll probably read it.
I THOUGHT that the first one I would give up on would be Mallard Fillmore: repetitive, boring, never funny, and nasty-mean in that right-wing sound-bite kind of way (except for twice a year when it’s all “love thy neighbor”).
But no, instead I stopped reading Cathy. The problem seems to be physiological. MY EYES JUST WON’T GO THERE!
Little A.
May 16th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
I like Curtis very much. Am I nuts? I like the drawing, I like the characters, and I find it frequently funny or humorous and even gleefully witty sometimes. So there, you Curtis detractors!
Incidentally, everybody, please keep in mind, WE ARE
TALKING ABOUT COMIC STRIPS HERE, not Shakespeare or E.L. Doctorow or the unpublished novels of Andrew D. Washton, my college roommate.
Stephanie
May 16th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
I plan on reading Apartment 3-G only until it starts making sense again. This stuff is great!
Lurker
May 16th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
#193- for some reason I could only find today’s Ziggy in Spanish, which took a bit of the edge off it.
Frank Parsnip
May 16th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Alternate bits of B.C. style advice aimed at steering people away from mentally ill professionals:
“Never go to a lawyer whose offices are smeared with faeces.”
“Never go to an internist who masturbates during your consultation.”
“Never go to an accountant who pees on you.”
Buck Ripsnort
May 16th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
I come here in the mornings before work, to check out which strips I should be wary of before I pick up my local paper.
So WHY in the name of Melkar didn’t anyone warn me about today’s Ziggy? I had the bad luck to read “The cat’s litterbox is not a buffet” during lunch. My burger turned to ashes in my mouth. Actually, ashes would have been better alternative.
bats
May 16th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
With all this talk about Grampa Chinnutz gettin’ excited over his various and sundry comely P.T.s, the last panel from this strip, with him sitting beside comely P.T., gazing down, perhaps into his lap, suddenly gives me the chills (I’d say “the willies,” but that’s too cheap a shot, even for me):
http://www.gocomics.com/forbetterorforworse/2007/05/08/
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Now is da part of da thread vere vee dahnce.
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
So here’s a TDIET submission for anyone who wants to use it – I’m not going to send it in, but it occurred to me tonight that it might work. So yesterday was our first real warm day after an unseasonably cold spring (for me – I’m notoriously cold blooded). Glorious warm breezes! So I step on the bus going home and — the bus driver has the air conditioning cranked up so high I need a coat, hat, scarf and mittens! Ohhh Yeaaaahh!
Seriously – I was Margo! Saturn! Boxcar!-ing to myself all the way home. I guess it’s better than having to smell all the sweaty people, but, really, they wouldn’t have been that sweaty – it wasn’t that hot.
Dork
May 16th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
I’m just commenting in a desperate attempt to make it on the list before No. 290 … because after 290, all comments are worthless pieces of crap, anyway.
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
The Seattle Times is doing their periodic Comics Survey. I don’t know how many of you go to the Times site to look at the comics – I know quite a few of you go to the Seattle P-I site. They’re different papers. But if any of you do go to the Times site and would like to take the survey, here’s the link:
http://services.nwsource.com/surveys/comics2007/comics2007.htm
I don’t think we need to stuff the ballot box – I haven’t heard that any particular comic is in danger. Interesting note: the Times has far superior comics in their printed edition than the P-I, which doesn’t print half of what they have on their website, i.e., no Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, Judge Parker, Funky Winkerbean, etc. So, vote if you want to, don’t vote if you don’t want to. Just thought I’d put it out there if you wanted to look at it!
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Dammit! Josh lapped me while I was making my post!
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
#278 – my post – Now I’m rethinking my poor choice of words for all the dirty minds on this site. What I MEANT to say is that he put up the new post while I was posting my last comment. I didn’t realize how badly that sentence would read. Now I’m feeling stupid for my poor choice in words…
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
But then again, no one is reading this with the new post up….
Red Greenback
May 16th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
fizzy logic- You are a dirty, dirty girl-And I love it!!! It’s just a good thing the lady that got so cheesed off at Lamont Cranston(Dingo)-Choosy Mother from Omaha (or whateverthehellhernameis?) left this blog in utter disgust when she found out some of us Mudges work “blue”
alamo
May 16th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
25 — oh.
fizzy logic
May 16th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
#281 – Red – Will no one think of the children?
kurt
May 17th, 2007 at 12:06 am
NOOOO!! Don’t give up on 3G yet! It’s BECAUSE it doesn’t make sense that lets you and the other josh-ites have fun with it! The ghost pulling Luann out the window could prove a PANEFUL experience for her, if not a shattering revelation!
And what of Luann’s protective guardian? Will she leap tall buildings in a single bound? Bend steel doors in her bare hands? Or just pound the building apart? KEEP US INFORMED!
Dingo
May 17th, 2007 at 12:30 am
Red Greenback, I believe that was Gator Mama or some name similar. Ah, three months ago. I had a job for $103.80 a week, snot-nosed students who made Paris Hilton seem dedicated, and a penchant for despair. Hey, still have one!
Red Greenback
May 17th, 2007 at 1:52 am
285 Dingo- I am tired and ready to dream about drowning people. but whaddaya mean by “still have one” do you mean you are still making a measly $103.80 a week? Jah Rastafari Sela!!! I sure hope that’s not true! Or do you mean, “hey Red, have a frosty cold St. Pauli Girl”…I dunno, I’ll hafta come back tomorrow morning and finger it all out.
Dingo
May 17th, 2007 at 1:54 am
Red, I still have the penchant for despair.
Red Greenback
May 17th, 2007 at 2:08 am
Thanks Dingo. I have a peachant for this pear, Sorry Bro, I was channeling Darby Conley or something there. Hey, check out the threadmorrow! AppleGirl and I would really dig-g-g for you and your bf to carpool w/ us to the GTA.
Len
May 17th, 2007 at 4:16 am
#114 — It’s not a little duck. He’s a little platypus. See the beaver-like tail?
It’s a new strip, so I’m cutting it some slack. But the platypus should lose his temper and stab someone with his poisoned leg spurs.
And he should have an Austrailian accent, dammit!
And a shark who gives psychic predictions? “Be at the local beach at 7 this evening, and bring teritaki sauce. You’ll be delicious, I predict!”
Len
May 17th, 2007 at 4:27 am
#128 –
“This week’s run [of 9CWL] has been a lesson in self-pity. It sounds like the LiveJournal rant of an insecure, second year college student in the arts.”
Bingo! Edda IS an insecure, second year college student in the arts. If she has any college at all. She’s a newbie in a dance troupe, and probably all of 19 years old.
Junior Tracy
May 19th, 2007 at 11:16 am
There’s no such thing as “classic BC” There’s offensive BC, less-funny-than-Nancy, BC that illustrates some aspect of Johnny Hart’s lunatic religious beliefs, and of course BC that advocates violence towards turtles or anteaters. “Classis”, however, doesn’t exist in the BC context.