Born 2 Menace
Dennis the Menace, 5/22/07
Dennis the Menace rightly gets flack on this site for his repeated failure to menace anybody, and today’s installment, in which he and his pal Joey take a whimsical trip down memory lane on the family footstool, would seem to be even less menacing than most. But think about it: Dennis is well aware of the fact that Alice, who used to have a name, and, moreover, an identity of her own, has now, by the very fact of his whelping, become merely an adjunct to his own larger-than-life personality. She’s no longer Alice Mitchell, and she’s definitely not Alice Whatever-Her-Maiden-Name-Was; she’s just “mom,” and, more to the point, she’s mom to the most hated child in the county. And Dennis looks pretty damn smug about this state of affairs. That sound you hear is millions of women across the country opening the cases that hold their birth control pills, double-checking to make sure they haven’t missed a day.
Hi and Lois, 5/22/07
I like the fact that Hi is not charmed by his twins’ antics, but rather stares at their handiwork in goggle-eyed panic. The lawn is shaggy enough that he can’t really care that much about the damage to the landscaping; rather, he sees that his golf dates, which were his only chance to get away from his hated family, will now be replaced by sullen putting around his backyard to delight of his squealing kids, followed by his suicide.
Crock, 5/22/07
Today we learn that the characters in Crock are in fact parasites who live their days wandering around the bright yellow flesh of some unimaginably huge being. If you had told me that somehow they’d find a way to make this strip even more unsettling than it already is, I wouldn’t have believed you, but there it is.
Momma, 5/22/07
Today we also learn that Momma’s Francis is into watersports, or maybe scat play. This revelation really ought to make the strip even more unsettling than it already is, but after I found out that Francis surfs for Internet porn while sitting right next to his mother, frankly nothing he does could possibly shock me.
willethompson
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Dean Booth’s mash-up (see yesterthread) makes a LOT more sense of DtM. You GO, Dean!
willethompson
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:13 pm
For clarity, that’s this link. Well worth the click and mostly SFW.
Len
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:17 pm
Oh, Agnes, Agnes! We Curmudgeons have much the same problem as your friend Trout. (Is she a Trouser Trout? I don’t recall a skirt…) We come expecting laughs, and mostly, you comics put us to sleep.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/22&name=Agnes
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Klipper
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:21 pm
It’s not just that he’s into watersports or scat (really, who isn’t just a little bit curious), it’s the fact that he gets off on the “clever” deception of luring vulnerable women to his lair and quite literally scaring the shit (or piss) out of them. I find this cartoon incredibly disturbing.
minosbull
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Perhaps Hi is simply such a poor golfer that he won’t even be able to achieve par on his children’s mockery of a course, and with the entire venue in view of the window, his atrocious failure will be public fodder for jokes for years to come. But more likely, he’s simply afraid his children found the bodies.
Jym
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:30 pm
=v= 9CWL (Various, Yesterthread): You realize this is all a dream, since last we saw Edda she had fallen asleep on Amos’ shoulder, drooling. This is the only form of bodily fluid we know them to be exchanging, but you’ve got to wonder what’s up with that horn she’s dreaming about.
Incidentally, you ‘mudges are numerous and awesome. I made a vague allusion to a horse-like thing in New York City, linked to one of my pages on flickr, and suddenly it had 200 visits. My apologies for sending so many of you to a boring scan of a police document. I should have sent you to my splendiferous Paula Revere’s Ride Photo Page, so there it is. (I never really did finish that page, though.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm
DtM: Okay, I wasn’t thinking of it like that earlier today. I guess he’s a menace in the same way as Seasonal Affective Disorder, rather than rockslides and deadly snakes.
Momma: is it possible to have less respect for Francis than I do now? He and his Momma deserve each other. Interpret that as you will.
Poteet
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Thank you, Pope Josh, for reading CROCK and MOMMA so I don’t have to. I’ve just been reminded of why occasional exposure to them is plenty.
Maughta
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Wow, those are some nicely defined holes in Hi’s lawn. Those kids have a future in public works–pothole division.
Zamboni_Rodeo
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:41 pm
The punchline in today’s Dilbert gave me a legitimate laugh. I must have “I’m failing as fast as I can” on a t-shirt.
td
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Has Crankshaft always looked like Dick Cheney? How have I never noticed it before?
Blynneda
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:46 pm
How stupid is Joey that he must be shown a picture of what appears to be Dennis’ mom looking exactly the same as she has for 50 years in order to communicate the joke? And why is his gaze so full of adoration? (Could it have anything to do with all those times Dennis gets sent to the corner, leaving Good Li’l Joey alone with
AliceMom?)Red Greenback
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:47 pm
“We dug holes!”-Hi and Lois Kids
“We dig holes, too!”-Yortuk Festrunk
“Yes, FOX holes!!”-George Festrunk
“You and what ARMY?!”-Yortuk Festrunk
BigTed
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
The fact that Hi’s kids really, really want him to play golf at home suggests that they spend every Sunday afternoon listening to Lois grumble about “that $&^%# man chasing around a !%@^ ball every @^#$%*& weekend.”
The Avocado Avenger
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
I don’t get “Momma”, and I don’t want to. I can’t even tell if that’s a woman holding the door open, or what those things on its face are. Eyes? Eyebrows? Snails?
#6 Jym – Yes, we are belligerent and numerous. I like it when others notice.
(DT)GT: Finally, someone has the balls to say it. “Shut up, the lot of you! God!” Well, in my mind, that’s what she says, and it makes me happy.
Derelict
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Actually, Hi’s horror stems from the fact that he actually does ot golf at all. Rather, his “golf dates” have been his excuse to sneak out of the house to meet his secretary. Now he will have to explain to Lois and the kids why it is that he doesn’t even know which end of the club to hold.
And then Lois will confiscate his balls.
Doug Puthoff
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:53 pm
5-23
Just when I think Gil Thorp can’ t get any goofier, we see Lisa in panel two picking a booger out of her nose. (www.gilthorp.com)
Red Greenback
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Yes, I know, it’s Georg ThorpE…oh well, goin’ back to Lurky Town.
Shark
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Momma: Nice room… Is Francis a heroin addict or something?
Gabe
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Perhaps Dennis is showing Joey younger pictures of his mother to give an example of how to properly pull off the mid drift shirt look.
Weasel Boy
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Hi & Lois, for those who think Family Circus is too darn sophisticated.
TB Tabby
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm
This is why furry bashers are one of my hanging munchkins: when they say furry art, adult or otherwise, is the most disturbing stuff around, they’re saying it’s worse than what Francis is doing.
Rusty
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Unfortunately, these three strips are almost impossible to care about, so the snark potential is rather limited. Having said that, iIwould imagine that Francis’s strategy would lead to random women of all sizes, shapes and ages entering his one room apartment needing to use a toilet. Yeah, plenty of hookup potential there.
Green Machine
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:08 pm
It really isn’t Dennis who is scary. Joey is starting to look like a young Hitler.
Dean Booth
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
#1. Wow, thanks for the shout-out, wille.
One more today. A3G: Margo to the rescue!
Dean Booth
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:11 pm
It’d be cool if the Hi and Lois kids tried to dig golf holes in the yellow flesh of Crock. Perhaps they’d get swatted.
Tats
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm
FBoFW: Yeah, you tell ‘em, God. That’ll teach ‘em to let their youngest daughter go roadside under their very noses.
MW: Oh, you’re kidding. On the heels of some legitimately interesting (I know!) Mary Worth plotlines, Vera turned out to be the biggest dud since Professor Chinbeard in bed with Tobey after a couple of drinks at the last Charterstone pool party. Curses upon you, Karen Moy!
TDIET: Scaduto’s doing his own material now. Stick to the drawings, ink monkey.
Herro!
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:21 pm
My entry from yesterthread:
186 Spotted Horse, sorry, Paul is far too hot to be Harold Lauder. Lauder was a loser from the start, whereas Paul was just a nice guy who was set up and doomed from the beginning. Maybe Paul could be the Walkin’ Man’s right-hand man, Lloyd, the one who was stuck in prison and almost starved to death. Or he could be Larry, nice, good looking guy who’s just a little misguided.
You have forever won my heart by referencing my favorite book with a fair amount of knowledge.
Jym
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:27 pm
=15= Futurama (The Avocado Aventer): Morbo? Is that you?
Oilyrags
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Okay, foobists, here’s something a little different and unexpected for you: DC comics’ solicits for August.
The relevant excerpt:
GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY: FOR BETTER OR WORSE TP
I leave it to you to speculate whether that means Mike and Deanna or Lizardbreath and the ‘Stache.
Fred P.
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Okay, so Francis’ basement is some kind of Dungeon O’ Despair to which unsuspecting females can only be lured by base trickery. Fair enough. But why does he put the “Ladies Room” sign on the inside of the door? Is it that the only girls dumb enough to go home with Francis are so astonishingly moronic that when searching for a bathroom they open doors at random, looking for the telltale sign ON THE WRONG SIDE of the door, and upon seeing it, unsuspectingly walk right on in and (somehow failing to see the plainly visible staircase) fall down to await the eventual denouement with Francis doing unspeakable things under the watchful and approving gaze of Momma’s portrait?
Nah, no chick could be so dumb that she’d go home with Francis.
Mighty Sam
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
The real question: upon which of The Simpsons does the Crock crew meander?
anameimadeup
May 22nd, 2007 at 10:51 pm
WTF @ Crock?
And a huge WTF @ Momma.
At least with Crock, I understand the attempt at humor, even if it failed miserably. I don’t even understand Momma at all.
King Folderol
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:05 pm
DM – This cartoon veers uncomfortably close into the “we’ve been huffing household chemicals for years so all our kids say asinine things” territory of Family Circus.
H&L – This was my first instinct too, Josh, but the more I look at Hi’s horrified look, the more I realize that this is the kids’ not-so-subtle commentary on how bad Dad’s golf game is. The holes are all so close together so that dad can “win” every time, so that Dot and Ditto can “make scary Daddy go far, far away.” And by scary I mean drunk.
Momma – Why does it look like there is a railing in the woman’s bathroom? Does Mel Lazarus think that women are vile creatures who have to vacate their bladders and bowels in a dank dungeon?
Citysqwirl
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:05 pm
You’re all missing the point of Momma today . . . that Francis’s sinister sex plan has worked before. Often enough that we’d be surprised how often. That’s what’s really disturbing — not that he set up a trap to lure women into his crack den . . . but that women succumbed to his wiles.
Citysqwirl
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:06 pm
You’re all missing the point of Momma today . . . that Francis’s sinister sex plan has worked before. Often enough that we’d be surprised how often. That’s what’s really disturbing — not that he set up a trap to lure women into his crack den . . . but that women actually succumbed to his wiles.
Lammergeier13
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Gil Thorpe: You know, every time anyone tells a Gil Thorpe character to shut up, an angel gets its wings.
King Folderol
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:11 pm
I was going to make a joke about Hi coming home drunk, angry and muttering something about “Lois” and “ramming into the 19th hole.” But I never want to imagine Hi & Lois having sex. Of course, now it’s far too late. Ick.
StrangeRover
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:26 pm
FOOB:
In yet another example of Deus Ex CRAPina, a tree falls on the FOOBs’ new house, and no one is there to give a [boxcar].
Now they all have to live together again – It’s like Chekov but badly drawn.
Red Greenback
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Crock: (boy, that’s an understatement, innit?)…anyway…
Crock: The guys are being ordered out on another pointless patrol over the vast desert tundra of frozen piss like they always do.
Only this time the piss is so cold it’s developed chicken skin.
The only way to redeem this gripping saga would be if the boys cross paths with a witch wearing a flannel brazierre. Or no, that probably wouldn’t do it either…nevermind.
Dr. Shrinker
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Umm…
Fred P., that’s the door TO Francis’ apartment. See, he’s hoping that women will mistake his bachelor hovel for a ladies’ room and empty their bladders and bowels in his small living space.
You’d be surprised how often it works.
ItAintEazy
May 22nd, 2007 at 11:41 pm
H&L: With the twin’s thinly veiled message that they have been living with a largely absentee father, a very awkwardly emotional intervention cannot be far behind.
Red Greenback
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:03 am
Maestro Dean Booth helped me post these. Thanx Dean! http://www.yo-god.com/comics/normal.jpg and http://www.yo-god.com/comics/pronouncednormal.jpg
Xenarthral
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:16 am
Oilyrag,
Considering the ages of Green Arrow and Black Canary (GA has an adult son and Canary is not,
if memory serves, notably younger than GA)
it is more likely to be John and Elly.
Spotted HØrse
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:25 am
#28 Herro!
Thanks, Herro! Now if only someone with boundless energy and hatred of FOOBs became inspired to do a FOOB/The Stand mashup!
signed, Spotted HØrse… aka the lazy assed bastard who wouldn’t analyze his way out of a burning barn
left of the pyle
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:32 am
That fucker Buzzard stole my damn dog.
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:33 am
Tuesday’s been covered already, but behold the wonders awaiting us on Wednesday:
Mark Trail: This is Mark Trail at its finest: Mark himself is just standing around grinning obliviously most of the time, the bad guys have facial hair and an insanely stupid plan, and now we’ve got a hillbilly huntin’ guide named “Buzzard” thrown into the mix for absolutely no good reason. And in another stunning display of political and business acumen, the dapper pencil-mustached commissioner is taking it upon himself to negotiate a higher fee for “Buzzard.” (Perhaps he just feels an instant kinship with Buzzard based on his overemphasis of the word WHAT?) Anyway, no wonder there are so many cost overruns on county projects around there.
A3G: Judging from the intimate way they’re leaning towards each other and the flirtatious look in the cook’s eye, I’d say Alan just had himself one hot cup of Joe.
Sally Forth: Man, Ted gets feisty when he’s unemployed and scruffy-looking. I think he’s about to shiv Sally!
9 Chickweed Lane: “Edda and the creature regarded each other silently for a moment. ‘I suppose you think this is awfully pretentious,’ the creature remarked, delicately stamping out its cigarette with one ivory hoof. ‘I suppose that depends on whether you feel that dancing is a legitimate profession,’ Edda fired back, fire in her eyes. A faint noise made them both turn to see a crowd of people approaching. They gathered in a large semicircle around Edda and the creature and stood there like an audience. After a whispered consultation among themselves, one person stepped forward. ‘You know what? Fuck you both,’ the audience’s representative said. And with that, they left as quickly as they had arrived.”
Rex Morgan: Given Rathbone’s extreme age and the constipated grimace on his face, I suspect “It’s time to think of Milton!” is some kind of senior citizen euphemism for a bodily function.
Crankshaft: Oh, Batiuk, for shame. Here’s how it works: if you’re responsible for making an unfunny comic strip, you don’t get to make a ‘joke’ about how unfunny comics are. And if you’re responsible for TWO unfunny comic strips and still make that joke, the readers should at least get to kick you.
Jeff
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:37 am
The Arizona Daily Star (Tucson) dumped Mary Worth and Lio this week.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:41 am
Wednesday’s comics…
Archie: The AJLGU3K takes a break today, as we catch the secondary cast members in an unguarded, backstage moment between “funny” strips.
Crankshaft: “…Except for this ‘Winky Beanerfunk’ one. Never did get that one. Cancer… huh.”
DT: The person expressing concern for Dick Tracy’s workload in Panel 3 is:
a) Dick’s loving wife
b) Dick’s transvestite gay lover
c) Dick’s beard
d) Dick’s stalker, Margaret Ray
e) Hillary Clinton
F Minus: F Minus sucks. F Minus sucks so hard it has collapsed into a black hole of suck. It has become a suckularity from which no humor can escape. Other strips suffer from mere proximity to F Minus, as their humor is pulled into the event horizon of suck and is transformed into Sucking Radiation. F Minus: It’s not a title, it’s a grade.
Family Circus: I want to kill children in Family Circus more than in real life.
Kudzu: Bwahahaha! It’s funny because older women have no hope for a fulfilling love life! Ha ha… hah… No, seriously, that’s the punch line? I never read Kudzu. What the Saturn possessed me to read it today?
Mark Trail: OH MY GOD! IT’S RUSTY’S REAL DAD!!!
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 am
# 47 — Trilobite, your excellent 9CL comment covers it for me. I checked out 9CL for the first time in weeks to see what the hooves were. What a glum conversation. From now on, I’ll stick to Pibgorn, where conversation seems to be rare:-).
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:45 am
Dennis the Menace: Remember Mother’s Day on Family Circus? Seems to be a backlash. ROWR! You go, Alice! Keep fighting, Helga, Wanda, Nancy, and Connie! Get your names in print! (You stay back, Elly. You’ve made us know you. (Did that come out right? (I just meant that everyone remembers that Elly is the annoying… one… oh, hell…)))
left of the pyle
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:47 am
Didn’t we already meet Buzzard? I believe his real name is Bo Smith. http://joshreads.com/?p=468
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:59 am
left of the pyle @ 52:
And isn’t that a young Samantha “Sam (aka ‘Samantha’)” Hill in the background? It all comes together now!
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 am
#52 left of the pyle — You’re right! I guess things are looking up for the former petnapper. He’s got a grand new career as a hunting guide to local politicians and is raising game birds for airport sabotage, which is bound to be more lucrative and…wait, that’s really not much of an improvement on his old gig. Oh well, I guess he’s still the same, really. He’s shaved and got himself a spiffy new hat, though!
ChefMike
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:13 am
Marvin: wants his mother to stop treating him like a newborn. And well she should, after all, he’s 25.
MT Buzzard = Fencepost Frank I call first on the observation! Anyway, looks like Buzzard wasn’t meant to be evil, since there’s no mullet, or moustache, so he’s only being dragged into the evildoing as a victim of circumstance. “no ducks, no bucks!”
PBS: Cheese Sneakers, indeed! I love this strip. Despite its heavy reliance on stupid puns for humor, I find that’s usually part of its charm.
LightSyrup
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:14 am
Something that makes not one iota of sense to me: Zippy the Pinhead.
Jeff Fecke
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:16 am
women succumbed to his wiles.
Well, you’re bound to succumb when Francis grabs you, duct-tapes your mouth and deftly binds your limbs. Later, after the assault, but before he carves you limb from limb, you realize what Francis’ long and troubled history of mother issues has made him into. In a way, you feel pity.
In a year or so, they’ll find your ear, meticulously cataloged, number eight in his collection.
At any rate, your soul will rest easily when Momma issues a hi-LARIOUS quip just before they throw the switch and execute him.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:18 am
9CL – The unicorn may be a goat, and Edda may be a Barbary Ape, but this strip is nothing but yak, yak, yak.
Mibbitmaker
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:27 am
MT: Yeah, “Buzzard” is an alias for a guy we’ve seen before! MT has a very small company of players, all badly drawn.
A3G: Looks like a crazy lady interupted a scene between two clipart people. Alan is just mildly curious, while Joe is driven to the woman’s daughter’s means of head use.
FOOB: I like the alternative 5/23 strip I’m pretending ever existed better: Four panels of John & Ellie outside, silently gawking at the house carnage, mouths agape, in xeroxed panels. The actual strip: John’s the Lisa Moore (reacting to the hospital mix-up) we have, and Ellie’s the Lisa Moore we wish we had.
9CL: “???????????????????”, the readers replied.
MW: People do things in anger they shouldn’t do, huh? That settles it; Moy and Giella create MW strips when they’re angry!
RMMD: Last panel: It’s time to start thinking about getting a new hair stylist for this strip.
kurt
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 am
MOMMA today entertains so many questions as to what works: the Doorknob, the thing inside the door, Sonnys’ intelligence, etc.
Meanwhile, regarding FBOFW comic where April is being gleefully lifted into the air by her buttocks; it’s catching:
http://adisney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/cinderella3/
in the Gallery section, picture 3, you can see the attractive formerly G-rated heroine getting __the same treatment__!!
Mibbitmaker
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:50 am
This time I label it 5/23:
S-M: Hey, I have an idea, Kordok: punch yourself in the jaw, and maybe Spidey’ll be knocked out.
Zits: Omigod! It’s happening: I’ve suddenly forgotten June Morgan!!!
FC: “But Jeffy, dogs don’t actually talk in real life at all! …..Oh, right, we’re in a comics panel! For a minute there, I thought you were insane, Jeffy! *WHEW!*”
BBailey: Curtis tomorrow: “Ma, I got this odd letter from some army general, and it makes no sense!”
Mibbitmaker
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:53 am
One more Zits comment:
It looks like someone’s puppies lost their sweater!
ChefMike
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:55 am
I meant to comment on BC also today, this would be one of the few that ever made me laugh. How else would you catalogue poisonous mushrooms he must have died while carving it (/Automatic Monty Python Quote Generator)
Quäsenbo Pan
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:18 am
Momma: I’m at a loss. (As I’m sure has been mentioned) the “Ladies” sign is on the inside of the cellar door. All I can figure is that this androgynous character shuts women in his cellar for sport, and waits until the call of nature leads them upstairs to the apparent restroom. At which point, I don’t dare to imagine what happens. Alternatively, he/she lives in an attic, and waits like a spider in its lair for women to randomly climb the stairs in a desperate search for a restroom. Either way, very disturbing…but not “ha ha” disturbing.
Mr. O’Malley
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:18 am
63. Yes. For all of those people who said they can’t remember when BC was ever funny—I thought today’s was rather humorous.
I can’t read the copyright date very well on my monitor, but it looks like 1999?
Mr. O’Malley
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:20 am
Doonesbury: Those cops went to the wrong comic strip. They should have gone to Momma or (THTI)FOOB.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:28 am
Hey!
The Washington Post has expanded their comics page to include a host of off-site links, including Pibgorn and (be still, my heart!) L’il Abner!
Watch out, Chron!
off-model
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:30 am
#49 Spider-Brick, in regards to MTmaybe it is Rusty’s real dad or maybe it is Gap-Toothed Starey Hoooo! Guy working his way up the comics hierarchy.
Mr. O’Malley
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:39 am
WARNING: Don’t read if you haven’t finished the Sunday crossword yet!
Spider-Man jokes from the Sunday crossword in the San Francisco Chronicle Magazine (Relaxing with the Real Spider-Man by Merl Reagle):
Spider-Man’s favorite do-it-yourself brand? Reddiweb
Job that Spider-Man needs (above) for? Weaving home
Query to Spider-man whenever he orders a burger? Want flies with that?
Spider-Man’s favorite comedian and game-show host? Howie Mandible
Sign in Spider-Man’s kitchen? Let us prey
Spider-Man’s favorite film? The Spider House Rules
Noted doctor of spider-immunology fame? Jonas Silk
Spider-Man’s words about what it’s like being a spider? It’s fangtastic
Spider-Man’s second-favorite film: Bit in Beach Memoirs
Spider-Man’s third favorite film? Palp Fiction
So, Spider-Man, is it safe to say that Mrs. Spider-Man is in the family way? Egg-sac-ly
Dactyl
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 am
MW: Wow, even Vera’s faux-paintings cover their crotch!
Plasma
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:50 am
I don’t understand this “Momma”. I don’t understand what the joke is supposed to be, and I don’t even understand what Josh’s joke is supposed to be. Possibly because the art is so bad. I see, um, a door with a female bathroom sign on it, two persons of indeterminate gender, and possibly a window. I can’t tell what the room they’re in is supposed to be (bedroom? actually a bathroom?), I can’t tell what’s supposed to be outside the door (banister? actually a bathroom?). Is the, um, trash on that, um, knee-high tabley thing, is that assorted toilet paper? And maybe a mirror? And, um, sawed-off golf clubs?
The more I look at that ‘art’, the more I want to become a Funky Winkerbean character.
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:05 am
#58 Uncle Lumpy — Your comment is made of win and awesome.
True Fable
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:45 am
Big Dog What Marmaduke needs is a good snaffle bit in his mouth. He’d slow down then, I’ll bet.
JP “he told you I was dying quicker than I said, didn’t he?”
“No, Aunt Rachel, he said you were suffering from dementia so I bought this flat from him for two and a half million dollars.”
“Good God, girl, are you trying to kill me even quicker?!?”
FBoFW Why is Elly angry? Why isn’t she frustrated, or alarmed, or worried, or annoyed? And who is she angry with? God? God didn’t tell her to buy the house for John’s trains and her new furniture. She should be mad at John for making it a done deal, or at Michael for not getting his own place a long time ago, or at Liz for staying an entire year before moving out. But the one she’ll most likely be mad at is April, because April is the lightning rod in that family and catches hell all the time.
Elly is angry because a tree fell on her new/second house. Not that they’re lucky the tree didn’t fall on them instead, or that they still have most of the things she so smugly ticked off just before it fell, or can even afford to buy a second house.
I hate this strip. :P /rant
goaty
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:15 am
JP — I know that time in the JP universe is different from “real time.”…. but I’m figuring that Abby and Neddy were gone to school and shopping and pimp busting for what, a day? And during that same period of time Rachel is reduced to a darkness-loving demental unit, evil Roger magically appears, takes over and shaves, and the mcsweater puppies buy a new home. Perhaps Abby and Neddy should think twice before they leave the flat for an entire day again.
smacky
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:16 am
Family Circus: Sigh. It’s because of idiot children like Jeffy that there’s a movement to remove anthropomorphism from schools. If you can’t tell the difference between the antics of a cartoon animal and the real-life actions of your pet dog sitting next to you, you shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house and interact with other children!
TB Tabby
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:18 am
Zits: Jeremy isn’t the only one who’s retching. Of all the comic strip women to be seen naked…
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:21 am
Elly is angry because that tree deliberately fell on her new house. As her hips expand beyond even the already-generous proportions of ancient Earth Mother figurines, her brain regresses further and further and she embraces primitive magical thinking with new fervor. There are no accidents to Elly, no circumstances surrounding an event: there is only grim, bloody-minded intent.
The tree falls because it hates her and her new house and wants to ruin her. The helicopter pilot guy blows off a date with Liz because he’s a bad person who is probably cheating on her and only wants to take her roadside anyway, not because he gets called in to work on weekends from time to time. April dresses like a streetwalker who got thrown through a thrift store because she’s sixteen years old, not because…well, actually, I don’t know why that would have happened. That one’s on Lynn, I think.
Keg of Curd
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:23 am
Yup, I also laughed at today’s BC (a 1995 vintage). More sudden, unpredictable death would do wonders for that strip.
Little A.
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:30 am
Momma: Francis is drawn SO LOUSY that he wouldn’t even be noticed in DICK TRACY. He’d fit right in, as Queeny’s boy friend.
smacky
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:31 am
MT: Aw, the artist missed an opportunity for a subtle laugh. He should have moved the “Jack Elrod” circle a quarter inch southwest so Buzzard would be wearing it on the strap of his overalls like a campaign button. That would have been great, like when big-head daughter was eating from the “Wilson & Nolan” commemorative cereal bowl in Rex Morgan.
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:37 am
79 Little A. — Well, Francis is built like a chess pawn. It’d be mixing the game metaphors to pair him up with a playing-card Queen, but then again, this is Dick Tracy, the strip that overexplains things that no one cares about (the diamond and the doorknob, Queenie falling into the smokestack) and underexplains things that everyone wants to know (why isn’t Dick Tracy being investigated by Internal Affairs for all the suspects he kills?).
And considering the latter, they should totally put Francis into the DT rogue’s gallery: I don’t actually know how Dick Tracy feels towards pervy watersports-loving Prime-Minister-fanciers, but my guess is homicidal.
Applemask
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:40 am
Today’s Momma makes me cry for so many different reasons. Damn you to hell, Mell Lazarus.
Len
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:52 am
Well, at least Ashley, the Tigress (or tiger-stripe cat) wears her earrings in her EARS, instead of at her jawline like Cassandra Cat in Slylock.
I’m intrigued by the painting or photo on the wall behind them. A wader-clad dolphin has captured and strung up a mermaid? Diver Dan (the original one!) wouldn’t like that!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070523&name=My_Cage
Len
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:07 am
Aw, Lio! Everyone knows vampires HATE baseball! And what’s he doing out in the daylight, anyway?
I’m wondering — think Lio (and his Dad) are related to Herge’s Tin Tin? They have the same frontal cowlick.
http://www.gocomics.com/lio/2007/05/22/
Dean Booth
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:07 am
MW: Vera Solo.
andreavis
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:12 am
Ugh, once again, I recognize myself in Pluggers. Although I’m more annoyed about discovering that the hits of my childhood/teen years are now considered oldies. Should I just give it all up now, get married to a fat dog, and overdose on my cholesterol meds?
Klipper
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:20 am
I know we don’t talk much here about old Fred Basset and I’m ok with that, but I would very much like to see a “Fancy a bone, Jock?” t-shirt.
If I were Fred Basset, I too would be trying to off-load my hot bone to Jock.
Motorposus
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:26 am
#49, #68 – I was thinking that perhaps Rusty and GTSHG are cousins, and Buzzard is their sinister uncle, Gap-Toothed Jowly Guy With Beetling Eyebrows (GTJGWBE).
Buzzard and my 3 year-old son have the same bargaining gambit: demand twice as much of an unknown quantity, then be perfectly thrillled to receive one serving of dessert cut into two pieces.
P.S. If that damned dog would move, we could see Buzzard’s electric boots.
AtomicDog
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:27 am
Luann – Someone refresh my memory. I don’t ever remember Luann crushing on Gunther.
AtomicDog
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:29 am
MT – Those are some mighty big fleas, there.
Squawk
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:44 am
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mell Lazarus, for showing us that Francis is a sexual psychopath who likes to trap unsuspecting, gullible women in his apartment by putting a restroom symbol on his door. It was just around the time that I thought Momma wasn’t the most despicable comic strip in existence. Quigmans, you’ve been given reprieve.
Dean Booth
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:49 am
#59 Mitt: “MT has a very small company of players, all badly drawn.” The epistemological sword cuts both ways. It may be that MT has many more characters than we’re aware of. We see Mark in panel 1 and naturally assume that’s him in panel 2. However, the character in panel 2 could be someone else who, because of the drawing limitations, just looks like Mark in panel 1. For all we know, every panel in MT contains unique, never-before-seen characters.
Jamus The Bartender
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:49 am
89. It was fairly recent, Dog. Gunther lost the glasses and made a Cinderella dress for Luann so she could read to kids in the library. This impressed Ms. DeGroot to no end. If not for Sgt. York, Gunther would probably be making Luann LOTS of dresses….Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, Fanny Hill……
Oh, I almost forgot.
FOOB:
See Elly freak.
There’s not enough sheets to shave to calm her down now.
The birch tree took out a corner of her new house.
There is plaster on her new floor.
PLASTER.
There are kids in Iraq
Who are in danger from insurgents
and roadside bombs
and Washington politics
every single day
and they bitch and moan a LOT less
than Elly Patterson.
Bitch.
dreadedcandiru2
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:50 am
Crankshaft: “Comics are SUPPOSED to be funny”, Ed? Is Ayers snarking on Batiuk here or is Cancer Guy owning up to laying on the drama with a trowel? If so, he’s one up on Lynn Johnston who doesn’t seem to realize how sucky she’s let her beloved characters become.
Dean Booth
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:55 am
#92, cont. Compare a comic with stick-figure characters. Personal identity across panels can only be maintained via consistency of actions and dialog. If Mark Trail verbally changes his opinion from panel 1 to panel 2, we can not be certain it’s Mark in panel 2.
[/waxing idiotic]
Buck Ripsnort
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:56 am
But NO! Momma is darker than you imagined! Note the downward-angling guard-rail. This isn’t a room, it’s a stair-case to Francis’ basement. Clearly, the plan is to lure a drunken (roofied?) girl into falling downstairs, and whilst she’s lying there, barely concious and probably suffering one or more broken limbs– THEN Francis will descend to do . . . .things to her.
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:00 am
#73, #77, #93 – so much excellent bile thrown at Elly today, it’s Karmic. Why the heck is she screeching at John? They’re lucky no one was hurt, or killed.
Maybe he rigged the tree a la a Mark Trail villian and actually planned all this so he can have more train track room in the back, plaster damage bedamned.
Rebochan
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:01 am
Crankshaft Bitter much, Mr. Batiuk?
Tweeks_Coffee
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:02 am
“Shaft: Careful there, cover them with a Batiuk strip would be the kiss of death.
DtM: So is that a fat joke? Perhaps a joke about how Mr. Wilson’s getting old and his eyes aren’t very good? The Menace scale is on the rise.
DT: You know, I can’t draw hands either. However, I’m also not a published cartoonist, so I can get away with it.
(DT)GT: Wow, apparently subtlety doesn’t exist in Milford. Except of course when it comes to genders where the only way you can tell the difference is by what team they play on.
HotC: Last time I checked you didn’t need both arms to bowl. So what exactly is keeping Heart from going?
JP: “Yes, and I bought the flat. So get your wrinkled ass out.”
R&R: There’s something deeply disturbing about Rover’s eyes in the second panel. What the heck happened?
TDIET: He’s frying up two eggs for lunch? Now I’m a big supporter of breakfast anytime, but wouldn’t it have been simpler to just call it breakfast?
Zits: Thankfully that railing is in there. We nearly got a picture of mom vag. And now I shall go vomit.
TybeeDawg
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:07 am
I’m intrigued by some of the art in these characters homes…Hi evidently has some type of modern art in the hall, or possibly a big Chinese character…Francis has, along with the stolen women’s restroom sign, raggedy-ass torn blank posters, or maybe that’s just the wallpaper coming loose in his den of inquity. I think I like the cave-art in B.C. best of all, though…do those mushrooms glow in the dark? I’ve had some like that ;)
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:14 am
BB – almost a Saturn symbol there, but no score. Boxcar.
SF – Ted, high on his peanut butter and Eggo sandwich, attempts to impale Sal with a dull knife.
DtM – not bad. Soon Dennis will have insulted George in front of every living creature in the neighborhood, if he can keep his menace on.
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 am
Speaking of art, I know I mentioned that in yesterday’s MW Vera has some of Luann’s 3rd rate gallery shit up on the walls, but I notice she has a profile of Alfred Hitchcock there too. (Ella MUST have lived there before and forgot it).
Today, Vera has a man’s head growing from hers, and a painted lady is trying desperately to A) Hide her crotch; B) hold in her pee.
McManx
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 am
MT – Check out the melon head and gap teeth on Buzzard; I think we’ve just met Rusty’s biological father.
Laura Jane
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:23 am
At first I thought that the Mary Worth Vera/Von storyline was going to be resolved with undue haste. However, it turns out that in today’s second panel Von is clearly exhibiting demonic pocession. He is much, much more frightening than Momma’s Francis or Mark Trail’s Buzzard could ever hope to be. Francis might lure helpless women to their death and Buzzard might cause airplanes to crash by throwing birds at them, but Von is staring at me….right into my soul…and I am scared.
Spoony Bard
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:29 am
Today’s A3G shows us the limitations of the daily three panel format: so much of the action is lost.
The full version begins with a pleasant conversation between Alan and counter-guy suddenly interrupted by the door flying off its hinges. A screaming, older ethnic stereotype jump kicks it into the store and, landing in the pictured kung-fu stance, begins ranting at high-speeds about…whatever. She then departs, running out into the street and loud scream he siren, as quickly and suddenly as she arrived. Alan and counter-guy are left dumbfounded. This is the fifth shop she’s done this to in the last 10 minutes.
Wally LimpingBean
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:42 am
Wowser. Darrin gots a letter.
Too bad it is going to say, “I am your momma, but I am dying from cancer. You will get cancer too, very shortly and die. Have a nice day.”
Straw
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:42 am
It is only because of this site’s influence on me that I can look at today’s Mark Trail and want to pass out over the sheer awesomeness of it.
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:44 am
#103 – COTW nomination.
#105 – True story – once a woman, obviously mentally ill, sat on the hood of my car in VT during a red light about 7-8 years ago. I asked her kindly to please not sit on the hood as it was dangerous for her-she went to a few other cars to try to do the same thing before making it safely to the sidewalk.
Barking Spider Brewery
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:51 am
Attention County Commissioners: A Buzzard is an excellent candidate for disposing of evidence. For seeding airports with birds, you need a Possum. Preferably a Bear. Whatever you do, for God’s sake, don’t involve Squirty.
Josh
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:52 am
For everyone baffled by the intended “joke” in Momma: Francis lives in a filthy apartment on the top floor of some apartment building; his apartment door apparently opens directly onto the landing of the staircase (an unusual arrangement, though I lived in an apartment in Germany that was set up this way). Because he’s put the universal “Women’s Restroom” symbol on his door, a certain percentage of women who are wandering aimlessly around his apartment building looking for a bathroom enter his (presumably unlocked) apartment instead. Since Francis is a loathsome layabout, this is the only way he can actually get women to come back to his place, which is a necessary prerequisite for sex. The person to whom he’s bragging about this scheme is one of his oft-seen but never-named loser friends.
I thank you for your time.
Josh
Howard Erk
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:57 am
Man, when you go explaining Momma jokes. . .
[slowly shakes head]
AwLawsy
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:07 am
MW: Where’s the red energy dome to round out Vera’s Devo uniform in the second panel?
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:12 am
#110 – I know an apt. just like that in an old house (VT again), and it was decrepit to boot. You open the damn door and WHOOPS!
Luckily that never happened to anyone I know.
JD
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:13 am
Greatest marksmanship ever in Spiderman — not only has the mystery shooter managed to wound Kordok without leaving any visible mark on his body, but he/she also managed to shoot the ropes off Dara Dorset’s wrists. Nice work, mystery shooter!
gkl
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:15 am
MW: What can I say?… People do things in anger… That they normally wouldn’t do! Shouldn’t do… By the way, I… I spent the entire fortune… On blow… Can I borrow… Twenty bucks?
smacky
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:22 am
# 115: Why is Shannon from FOOB writing a letter to Vera?
SatanicMechanic
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:23 am
Is it just me or is “Watch Your Head” total crack lately?
Justin
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:25 am
Dude. The Zits mom is HAWT. Today’s strip made me feel funny.
Little A.
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:26 am
Question of the morning, which I suspect has been asked before (perhaps thousands of times): Why did a number like Clovia (and she was a number, when she was a teen) marry that fat Doofus Slim? Just wondering. Or am I being sexist again?
Incidentally, I think this has been mentioned, although I haven’t seen it mentioned, THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS CENSORED THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF DOONESBURY BY CLAIMING THAT G. TRUDEAU WAS ON VACATION. They of course may be read on the Doonesbury site. They concern Ray Hightower who is still in Iraq. Take a look.
As we used to say in The Bronx, What Shit. I am not referring to the strip.
Jeremy's Lost Brother
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:27 am
Zits made me feel funny too. I stirred my loins.
Hubba Hubba.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:29 am
5/23
RMMD: “It’s time to think of Milton… Berle. Man, that guy was hung.”
MW: What gang sign is Von flashing there?
(DT)GT: Lisa remonstrates her teammates while going for a nose goblin.
9CL: An awkward, halting conversation with a unicorn. If a yong Jim Jarmusch had gotten the assignment of adapting the Narnia books, the movie would be a lot like this.
C-Shaft: Supposed to be, yeah. Any reader of Funky knows that “supposed to be funny ” and “is funny ” are two different things. Probably oversnarking here.
H&J: What the hell is Jamaal talking about?
BB: Maybe Col. Dang is a Marine and won’t even notice the cussing. His surname is a euphemism to begin with, so who knows?
Shoe: The heads on those beers are really solid. Or are those restaurant sugar dispensers.
MT: Elrod realized he was short one hefty hillbilly villain. And today, voila, Buzzard.
S-M: That’s what Kordok gets for taking Maggie Simpson’s lollipop.
OBH: Today we’re going to learn about insurance fraud!
Plugmein
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:29 am
You know you are not even worthy of being a Plugger when you hang a restroom sign on your apt. door in a futile attempt to get babes to come into your place and piss on you.
Not even worthy of a beardogpig.
Josh
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:34 am
#119 — I’m always a fan of pointing out right-wing conspiracies, but Gary Trudeau is in fact on vacation. The “Ray Hightower in Iraq bickers with his family over the Internet” strips are repeats … they originally ran 12-18 months ago, I think.
Trudeau negotiated a pretty awesome deal with his syndicate a while back that allows him to take time off and offer repeats to newspapers much more than any other comics artist. Newspapers are not obligated to run the repeats, though most do.
Josh
SatanicMechanic
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 am
9cwl: No, it doesn’t look like a goat to me. Heck, it doesn’t look like a horse! OK, I said that already. More specifically it resembles a dressage horse in no way, shape or form. It vaguelly resembles a quarter horse… but not one anyone would pay money for.
I was beginning to think there was some brilliant take on unicorns– Edda meets the world’s only lumpy couch potato unicorn– but now I’ve decided that the unicorn was made lumpy in a final desperate attempt to make Edda look curvy.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 am
#124 SatanicMechanic -
In some circles, “lumpy” is considered a compliment! Or so I’ve heard.
Bootsybooks
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:49 am
Really, Elly? Everything is so terrible that you’re angry because a tree did minimal damage to an empty house you don’t even live in yet?
(Before I rant on about her reaction to the tree debacle, let me point out that a few days ago she and John were talking about the old house as “being too big for the two of them”. Last I checked, they still had a minor living at home! I’d be pissed too if I were April.
Ahem. Rsumes rant. A little plaster? Come bitch to me when everything you own floats around in stinky sludgy water for two weeks in the steamy heat of September in the south. When you climb through your former possesions not even recognizing what they once were. When you put on gloves and boots and haul said possesions to the curb, and then do the same for your family and friends and elderly neighbors’ houses. When the plaster starts falling from the ceiling, and you have to rip it out anyway to get to the mold growing behind it.
You are a selfish bitch, which is why all your children grew up to be selfish bitches (yes Michael, that includes you, you litlle wuss).
I’m sure Gordo, who seems to have expanded beyond a used car lot to a general purpose bakeshop-tax filing-pawn shop-loan shark operation no doubt has a reliable contractor on the payroll. Call him.
I thought I couldn’t hate Lynn Johnston more than I did when the Foobs were going through all the “Oh dear my whole family is living under one roof and it’s tight” phase. That pissed me off enough because it isn’t like there weren’t apartments that those deadbeats could’ve moved into.
I guess reading that, knowing people who are still displaced, and/or living with friends and family, trying to get homes liveable again at a cost quite dear in terms of time and money and loss and emotional and physical pain, I will repeat my one and only COTW runner-up win: I hate Lynn Johnson with the white hot heat of a thousand suns, and that’s a lot.
Not funny. But true.
AtomicDog
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:49 am
117 – Is “Watch Your Head” cribbing from Futurama?
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:54 am
I had another CC-related dream last night, but this time no t-shirts. This one involved severe windstorms all through the country. I was in New York, where I ran into Cathy Guisewhite, who offered me a ride back west. Interpretations, anyone?
And speaking of Cathy Guisewhite, from things I have read here recently I had the impression that Cathy (Ack!) was pregnant (AAACK!). So this morning I checked it out online. What a relief; it’s only Charlene.
Cyberpersephone and Jeff, yesterthread: more Tucsonans!
T. Chicana
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:54 am
“I hate Lynn Johnson with the white hot heat of a thousand suns, and that’s a lot.”
But don’t you enjoy her menopause jokes?! Come on, now.
T. Chicana
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:56 am
Also, in MW, this Vera and Von thing is just really a big, stupid letdown. Sigh.
Justafoob
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:56 am
Now we know where all the Saintliness comes from, Elly Elly Elly. You would think you were listening to Mike or Liz or Apewill complaining about their horrible lives. You know. No jobs. No roof over their head. No one who cares for them. Oops.
Well, it still really stinks to be a Patterson.
Bootsybooks
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:59 am
#129, Chicana, actually all that flapping and red-eyed hysteria scares me, almost as much as the sheet shaving.
And, melkardammit, it’s Johnston, self! You don’t want to hate an innocent person whose name is one letter off.
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:01 am
RMMD: Having stiffly put Hugh in his place, Heather turned to the rest of the board. “Thank you for confirming what Milton would have wanted. I feel that despite my training as a governess,” she hissed, staring two burnholes in Hugh, “I truly believe that I can carry Avery International forward.” Wiping away a tear, she said, “First, I will issue an order that all projects currently undeway will continue without interruption for the next sixty days as I review their status.” All nodded assent. “Second,” heather sang, “I want everyone to stand up.”
Oki and Landy exchanged questioning glances. “Stand…up?” asked Oki?
“Yes,” said Heather. It’s time for everyone to do the Hokey Pokey and then take a nap!” The chauffeur produced a cassette player and punch the PLAY button. Out of the speaker warbled tinny singing that went “you put your left foot in, you take your left foot out…”
“Now, now, c’mon, don’t be so grumpy!” chirped Heather. “Remember, I’m the chair AND a nanny! Let’s get those left feet moving, or there will be no quarterly dividend!”
With venom seeping from their lips, they all complied. Hugh was positively spitting as he ’shook it all about.’
Heather took a deep breath. Power, she thought. So this is what it feels like.
Chat Noir
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
I still have a problem with “Momma.” Even if women mistakenly wander into Francis’ room looking for a toilet, would they really say, “Oh, well, I’ve come this far and the bed’s already unmade. I might as well get naked and get busy. Got a seat cover?”
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:08 am
#125 UL: UL, In all ‘circles,’ being lumpy is called a ‘cam.’
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
willethompson –
Please add these to the JoshReads Lexicon:
The opposite of positive is angry.
The opposite of negative is calm.
The opposite of FBoFW is palatable.
Just so there’s no confusion. Thank you.
Moon Mullins
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
Well, just back from France. I certainly won’t be so presumptious as to say anything about the trip, except for on-topic: the availability of comics in Europe.
English-language newspapers were often hard to come by on the Cote d’Azur, but we frequently were able to get the International Herald Tribune and The Guardian out of London.
The London paper had only one comic in the whole thing — puzzlingly, not a British one such as Andy Capp or Fred Bassett, but Doonesbury. Not quite sure what to make of that.
The Herald Tribune, which is published by the New York Times (a paper which does not have comics), has several US ones. And they are your favorites! Dennis the Menace, BC, Beetle Bailey, Blondie and Garfield. They also had Non Sequitor printed in such small type that it was always completely unreadable. But overall, many of the CC targets were there everyday.
They also ran re-runs of Peanuts and — best of all! — Calvin and Hobbes. Man, that was the greatest strip of all time. I appreciate it even more now having a five year old son. The one thing I noticed now — I always thought Calvin’s shape was kind of strange — is it is just like my son’s and his pals! Who knew five year old boys actually had that long torso and body bends like Calvin, but they do.
Well, a little time to get over the jet lag, and then hopefully back to well-rested snarking.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:18 am
Calico @ 108:
Yeah, maybe, if I hadn’t said the same thing nearly 8 hours and more than 50 posts earlier. I’m still trying for my first COTW, and I don’t need to get undersnarked.
While we’re on the topic of MT though… Buzzard may prove to be Mark’s toughest foe yet. With neither facial hair nor hat, in fact little cranial adornment to speak of, he doesn’t have anything to punch off. While Mark is frozen in indecision, Buzzard will use his ability to mentally command all flying creatures and call in a bird strike on Mark. He’s kind of like an Aquaman of the air that way.
gnome de blog
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 am
Pope Josh said:
“she’s mom to the most hated child in the county.”
I didn’t know Alice Mitchell was Dolly Keane’s mom. That explains a lot.
Marked Trail
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:27 am
Wow, Fence Post Frank gets around.
Joey
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 am
Actually, Henry Mitchell spends a lot of his lunch times over at the Keane household. Thel likes how he handles his “menance”
Pedant Patrol
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:33 am
#138 The Spectacular Spider-Brick
You were oversnarked, not undersnarked. You were the undersnarker and are awarded 50 points. I was just writing up a citation for #103 when you burst in.
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
#142 Pendant Patrol: Actually, the SSB was the ’snarker’ who was indeed ‘oversnarked.’ Saying ‘undersnarked’ is like saying ‘irregardless.’
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:40 am
#138 – Yo SSB – At the time you posted, I was peacefully contemplating the back of my eyelids and relishing sweet dreams of Mary Worth and Charterstone and wacko Pool Parties.
Kudos to you both for your comments!
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
#143 wille -
Hmm. What is this ‘undersnarking’ comprised of?
Pedant Patrol
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 am
#143 willethompson
You got a badge? If not, just move along. Nothing to see here. The union gets real testy about private security “experts” analyzing crime scenes.
Josh
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:50 am
People, there are dumb things to be snippy about, but the meaning of the various “snarking” compounds is among the dumbest. Be nice and carry on.
Josh
Bootsybooks
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:53 am
Josh, you should be King Solomon and not merely the Pope. ‘Course, splitting babies in half may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but who knows? Give it a whirl!
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:56 am
Yeah, guys. What Josh said. Irregardless of who’s right.
Paperback Rifler
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:59 am
I think the most awesome aspect of Mark Trail today (yes; even more awesome than the introduction of an unscrupulous hillbilly who might have gotten his “Buzzard” moniker because he eats the meat off rotting animal carcasses that he finds in the woods) is the odd placement of the speech balloons in panel three, making the dialogue appear to go a little something like this:
(Panel 2)
Buzzard: I’m always interested in money . . . WHAT did you have in mind?
(Panel 3)
Crooked Commissioner #1: It’s something that you can’t tell anyone, or we could all end up in trouble!
Crooked Commissioner #2: In that case, the price is doubled!
Had there been a fourth panel, I’m sure that Crooked Commissioner #1 would have said, “WHAT are you doing?” and that a giant beaver would have replied, “Sorry! I’ll just keep my lips closed from now on!”
I also like how they switch to verse in the third panel. If this were a musical, they would subsequently burst into a Crooked Commissioner Bird Strike Scheme song. (”Ya got trouble! Right here in Westville Airport!”)
TybeeDawg
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:00 am
148:‘Course, splitting babies in half may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but who knows? Give it a whirl!
I have a few suggestions about which ones to crack open, btw.
Jeff
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:02 am
#128 – Another Tucsonan is Slylock Fox cartoonist Bob Weber. Met him in a comic book shop on Broadway near Swan. We talked about comics for about 45 minutes, while his son picked out a pile of comic books. Nice guy.
By the way, his young son had a sketchbook, and the kid is amazingly talented.
t007
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:10 am
FBoFW: Ha ha! A tree fell on their house! ha ha! *rolls eyes*
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:20 am
152 Jeff: Oh, hell, am I going to have to start reading Slylock Fox now? I have avoided it so far because it is so damned busy, and so am I…. I guess I’ll start looking at it to support the local arts, as it were.
What’s the name of the comics shop? I need to find a place where I can buy the new Buffy comix.
Little A.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:22 am
Thank you, Josh, I stand corrected, although I have been reading (?) The New York Daily News every day for years and don’t remember that series of strips.
Porkypine
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:23 am
Longtime lurker, hi.
Okay, I’m in the process of buying a house right now. And it takes a long time. But in the FOOBiverse, it doesn’t take any time at all– hemming and hawing about whether to buy it takes months, and then the closing and all that is done in two days and it’s suddenly the Pattersons’ house and their friggin’ birch tree problem?
Must be a Canadian thing.
Dingo
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:28 am
Okay, for those of you who don’t follow the world of online gay comic strips, this week’s Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast offers an almost Pattersonian milieu. Kyle, owner of the B&B, has been in a relationship with Breyer, a Canuck, for a matter of months. I’ve been waiting for this to break up for some time because one of the themes of the strip is that Kyle holds onto a man the way Lindsay Lohan holds onto a beer. Now, it looks like he’s found the fatal flaw. I ask, how many of you would break up for the same reason as Kyle? I have to admit, it’d be pretty difficult for me to stick around.
Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast, episode 205 (SFW, as long as you don’t mind seeing the asses of hairy Canucks)
SecretMargo
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:31 am
Josh: Just an update from Petty Grammarian Critique Daily — The gloriously complex sentence below the DtM picture should have the “but” excised from it, since its presence transforms it into a very long and dangling subordinate clause. Can you be so kind as to grant it its well-deserved independence?
That is all. Back to work (correcting much more egregious grammar mistakes in my own copy).
Moon Mullins
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 am
157 Dingo: I’ve been away and there are too many yesterposts to read through. How was Reno? Did you get the job?
Dingo
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 am
Oh, in my “I am a tree.” from the last thread, I thought it was the tree in front of the Patterson house that committed suicide. I see today that it’s the tree in front of the house that they just purchased. This actually makes more sense. The Patterson tree would have killed itself years ago. This poor tree probably has heard the arborial gossip for years and now realized what was in store for it. The house may have asked for it to look like murder-suicide. Very Delores Claiborne, if you ask me.
Josh
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 am
#158 — Argh, SecretMargo, you are correct. The sad thing is that I originally had it right when I first wrote the sentence but then misread it in my second reading and thought the “but” was needed. It is no secret that I love me some wicked gnarly and long sentences, but my tendency to repeatedly tweak their structure as I write can land me in grammatical hot water. Anyway, I fixed.
Josh
Calico
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:44 am
What I find odd about the FOOB Tree is that is a Birch, which happens to be one of the most flexible trees out there.
I still say John rigged the thing.
Hogen Mogen
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:44 am
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/buildcp.mpl?v=3.0;page=2;quality=high;cpp=8;c=112;c=71;c=20;c=116;c=118;c=144;c=123;c=130;c=140;date=2007/5/23
TDIET: Elpie either sleeps in the kitchen or had a stove installed in her bedroom
Spiderman: Weasel returns!
Mark Trail: Beefy Overall Wearing Hillbilly returns! Not to be confused wth Jake or Snake Hillbilly, but the Beefy Overall Wearing Hillbilly.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:48 am
Herewith my comments on today’s comics, without regard to over- or undersnarking.
Zits: I found this one very funny; it rang true to me, remembering my own teenagehood.
9CL: Memo to Brooke McEldowney: the only reason anybody reads 9CL is for the beautiful drawings of bodies, and, in some cases, the spot-on observations of cats. Apart from that, nobody cares about the story line. NOBODY. Not any part of it, ever. Knock off the text-panel and resume your sensuous drawing or prepare to lose your audience of two or three.
MT: Those who think Buzzard is Rusty’s father are wrong. He is actually Hoss, from Bonanza. Though I suppose he could still be Rusty’s father.
MW: I am so grateful to know that this story line will terminate on June 16.
Dingo
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:49 am
Hey, Moon Mullins (#159). Not sure on the job yet. I loved Reno but thought that the interview went as well as Kevin Costner’s more recent career. I keep ending up as the #2 person (September interview on Long Island: $61,500 per year, six weeks vacation to start. Didn’t get job and became night stocker at local Wal*Mart for $8.75 an hour). Very Melinda Doolittle without the pipes. The reimbursement form was turned in but they don’t have a schedule as to when they notify us who got the job. In the meantime, I have a phone interview on Friday with a university in Tempe, AZ. So… there are still irons in the fire, so to speak. I had a phone interview last week with a hospital in DC to be their multimedia guru. As God is my witness, I won’t go hungry again. I’ll put on my straw hat, pack my suitcases and sing my way down the lane to that Austrian naval commander’s house, if I have to. I just wish there was employment here in Illinois. ‘cuz there’s no place like home.
AhClem
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:54 am
TDIET – Elpie has her bed mounted on motorized casters. Now that Fignewt is retired, she can follow him around the house and harangue him for his various misdeeds all day long, without having to become vertical. To cope with this, Fignewt put powdered Drano in the pepper shaker that he is about to sprinkle all over her eggs.
Fitting punishment for someone who goes on and on like a broken record (record = L.P. = Elpie. Get it? Heeheehee. Sometimes I slay myself).
SecretMargo
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
161: Noodlefoot, you are quick like a bunny with the corrections! And anyway, the only reason I notice these things is because a) a lot of my work deals with translation, so you get used to second-guessing every sentence that crosses your path, and b) I read and reread your posts obsessively, which is kind of a sickness, though I doubt I’m its lone sufferer. Anyway, wow! Now it’s so fresh and so clean! Like preMenaced Alice herself!
157: Dingo, you just keep justifying my love when you give the occasional homosexualist comix dispatches. I don’t have the time/patience/intestinal fortitude to sift for the readable ones, so I savor the cute vignettes you link to here. And for the record, if I found that hidden in a bookshelf of my beloved, I wouldn’t be contemplating a break-up, I’d be hunting for a ring while humming “Muskrat Love” under my breath.
aaaand 164: O’F-ette, I agree that the set-up is pretty funny and disturbingly recognizable, but I question the wisdom of showing large amounts of skin in a strip called Zits.
Dingo
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:04 pm
That Mark Trail hillbilly looks familiar. I think thirty years ago he gave some backdoor action to Ned Beatty in Deliverance or Deliver-Ass, whichever the movie was named. I bet he could make Mark squeal like a pig! Eeeeeeee! Eeeeeeee!
Justafoob
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Thank GOD it wasn’t Farley’s tree.
The irony would have made me get a rope and go out and anoint a tree with my suicide.
Wellsey
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:13 pm
I thought the kids in Hi & Lois yesterday were just so neglected by their dad that digging holes for a golf course in the yard was a last ditch effort to get him to spend time with them. Even if it’s only to curse at them as he threatens them with a belt while watching them “replace their divots”. After all negative attention is still attention!
Meanwhile, in today’s (5-23) Judge Parker, Aunt Rachel astounds us all with the revelation in panel 2. “Did Roger…tell you about me?” Yes, Rachel, you’re actually Raju in old woman drag! So that’s what happened to that guy!!
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:16 pm
#147 the Pope: Ummm, gosh, Josh, me and Pendant was just playin.’ No sharp sticks or rocks. I’z sorry if it looked like snippiness, ’cause it wasn’t. (stubs toe in dirt, tries to look like Puss’n'Boots in Shrek 2…)
James G
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:18 pm
I actually thought that Buzzard was Fencepost Frank.
Thirsty Thurston, Neighborly Curmudgeon
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Why is there a WHEELBARROW full of dirt and sod in the front yard?
If you dug out 18 holes in the yard, you would not get that much stuff. I think that Dot and Ditto are planning to off Trixie and plant her in the front yard.
Hoooo yaaaaa.
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 pm
# 162 — Yeah, Calico, you said it. A birch next to my house was seriously damaged by the early spring blizzard several weeks ago, and the major branch that fell broke off with long splintering. It certainly didn’t shatter like a goblet per Lynn’s depiction. I realize that living in the Foobiverse may have subtly-weird cosmic impacts on all vegetation, but melkardammit, a birch tree is a birch tree, and it doesn’t behave like that.
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm
#162 Calico
One could do worse than be a rigger of birches.
SteveRoper
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
MT: In the speculation so far about Buzzard’s identity so far, maybe I missed this possibility, but I could swear he’s Cletus from the “Andy gets dognapped in a swamp” caper. Same look, overalls, run-down shack, and chicken-wire fence.
Hogen Mogen
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I present to you:
Buzzard, Circa 2005
Buzzard, Circa 2007.
Zamboni_Rodeo
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:33 pm
#168, #176; Re: the identity of the new MT villain.
Clearly, it’s Ernest Borgnine, in a senstational cameo.
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:34 pm
# 175 — BWAHAHA! Nice one, gh.
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Re: Buzzard’s secret identity
You know, if you put a mustache on him [clearly, he's shaved it off to avoid the RFo'J], and his hair was a little longer, I believe he’d look suspiciously like Captain — hold on. Call coming in.
Hogen Mogen
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:36 pm
MT:
Crooked Commissioner: No, Buzzard, we’re here to tell you how to make some money!
Buzzard: I’m wantin’ to make som o’ dat money!
Crooked Commissioner: You can sign up to take my seminar on how to sell real estate with no money down! Oh, wait, wrong pitch.
Hogen Mogen
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:39 pm
RMMD: I’d love it if they found Milton Avery alive.
“Sir, I regret to inform you that you aren’t Chair of the Board at Avery International anymore.”
“Well, I’ll just vote myself back in. I still own 51% of the shares.”
“Sir, uh, they, uh, your wife… ”
“What? I haven’t even been gone 24 hours!!”
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I think this will be my first deliberate repost, and if it’s ignored again, I promise to take the hint and retire it. It may be too geeky to live.
Old comic question — I grew up with my parents’ copy of CARTOON CAVALCADE (editor Thomas Craven, 1944), and loved it (still do). Now I buy used copies at booksales when I see them (which isn’t often) so I can try to hook others on old comics.
I thought the book only came in green, but recently I bought a larger white copy dated 1943. The images are larger, which is nice. But there were some differences that I don’t like (such as the cropping and bad reproduction of the Bruce Bairnsfeather classic on page 101.) And some of the reproductions, based on a quick skim, seem to be worse than the green-edition images.
Does anyone know the story behind these two versions and/or which one is considered the best? I tried the famous Internet tubes and didn’t find help. Thanks in advance for any info.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Undersnarking is a side-effect of oversnarking. The comment is oversnarked; the original commenter is undersnarked, as in, undercut. The impact of the original snark is lessened.
Hogen Mogen
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
#182 – continued…
Milton Avery, broke and forsaken at the company he founded, searches for solace in the empty streets of San Royale, and finds himself in the arms of another formerly lost soul….
Vera: Yes, Milton, I know what it’s like to be cast out by those you love…
Motorposus
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
#150 Paperback Rifler: Hee hee! Someday, that missing 4th panel is going to turn up on Dick Clark’s Comics Bloopers and Blunders.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:44 pm
#182 – Hogen
Oh, Lordy, you don’t suppose Milton’s faking his disappearance to road-test his succession plan?
‘Cause that would make me chicken-kicking, birch-falling, Margo-snubbing angry.
AllieCat
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to start putting off reading the funnies this summer until the evening, after I’ve had a rum and diet coke (with a twist of lime).
FOOB is just bugging me – I’m starting to think Elly has allowed John the use of his balls, but beyond that, nobody cares about the House Swap. Get to Michael’s rejection letter for his second novel. Get to Liz hooking up with…ANYONE!!! Get to April going roadside. Get to Gap-Toothed Starey Hoo Guy and Shannon at a school dance. But honestly, another week of home repairs, animals chasing each other or IrisnJim in Sicklyland, and I’m going to fly up to Canada, tie Lynn Johnston to a birch tree, and crank up my CHAINSAW OF DOOM.
That said, I like the swiftness with which the plot of Funky Cancerboob is advancing. Since both FOOB and FW have somewhere definite that they have to be by the end of the summer, it’s interesting to see how each has chosen to do it.
mdrew
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Momma: Wow! It takes a whole lot of “not even trying” to screw up a good Dorothy Parker reference…
http://storms.typepad.com/booklust/2006/12/what_fresh_hell.html
Mountain Mama
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Dingo: I hope you land a job you love. You are very talented.
However, think carefully before you come out here to the Valley of the Sun. It’s hot. Damn hot. And crime-ridden.
There are parts of Arizona I love, but the Valley? Not so much.
And Josh, thanks for the “Momma” explanation. I have to admit I needed it. And now that I know the “joke,” I think I speak for 99.9% of females when I say: Ewwwwww.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Since Jym @ 29 and AtomicDog @ 127 mentioned Futurama, one of my favorite shows, I’ve had the “New Justice Team” song running through my head. So I thought I’d snark it, comics-page-style.
Go, go, go, New Comics Team!
Go, team! Go, team! Team! Team! Team!
Who’s the newest comics team?
The New Comics Team!
Captain Charterstone is dumb
Also she is meddlesome
Not just dumb, but meddlesome!
Captain Charterstone!
Foober King has all the powers
Of a king, plus all the powers
Of Superman! Also, he’s a novelist!
Ain’t he cool? Foober King, you rule!
Manly Mark Trail beats you up!
Manly Mark Trail beats you up!
Who does he beat up? YOU!
Manly Mark Trail!
Curmudgeons need never fear
Do-good 2-D freaks are here
Until they run out of steam…
The New Comics Team!
Snarkery! Snarkery!
Gives the powers to the three!
Its effects wear off for sure,
Till the ‘Mudgeons snark some more!
Go, go, go, New Comics Team!
Stupid plotlines are their quest
Manly Mark Trail, Foober King
And all the rest
Here’s to you, New Comics Team
Do the things that make a team
Help each other do some things
Winners don’t read Crock!
The New Comics Team!
Abbey the Wonderdog
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
The sad thing is, Milton could be at the board meeting and no one would know it, even his “wife”, Anna Nicole.
She has never really looked at him and would be hard pressed to pick him out of a line up.
She is in it for the cold, hard cash.
BARK! BARK! BARK!
Joey
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
It looks to me, that Dennis found those albums his parents thought were long gone.
He has the look of a pimp about him as he is showing Joey the lineup.
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:08 pm
#184 The Spectacular Spider-Brick
Perhaps instead it is amplified. Becomes rolling thunder that sweeps away all before it and the Übersnarker grants laurels to the oversnarked undersnarker. Me, I’m waiting for a ruling from Linguist Extraordinaire, Üncle Lumpy. Such tsuris we’ve got.
LoFoFan
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Now we know WHAT life form spawned Rusty!
http://members.toast.net/adela/
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:15 pm
#194 – gh
Sorry, can’t help. I seem to have besnarked myself, and need to wash up.
Bitter Scribe
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:16 pm
I’ve been waiting for a Dennis the Menace thread to make this point: Years ago, in a DtM comic book (yes, I had one when I was a kid), Mr. Wilson told Dennis about how he went down into the Mexican desert to chase Pancho Villa.
Assuming the most generous interpretation—that Wilson had joined the cavalry as a 13-year-old drummer boy–this would make him about 107 years old today. Talk about a floating timeline.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Thanks for the umlaut, though!
Jeff
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:20 pm
#152 – The comic shop is called Heroes and Villians. The is another shop on Cambell near Grant called Galaxy Comics.
Porky
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
(9cl)…
Edda stepped back and surveyed The Creature – to which he or she or possibly it (Edda had not yet surveyed that far) said, “What……….?”
“You,” said Edda, “don’t,” she continued, “look like,” she further continued, “a,” she sighed, “goat-at-all.” she exclaimed in rush, finally bored with the aureate manner in which she was being written.
“And you,” he said (knowing from a previous survey that he was, indeed, a he), “don’t look like a Barbary ape.”
They paused for several minutes, each trying to comprehend why “goat” or “Barbary ape” had been brought into the conversation.
“You,” murmured Edda (momentarily slipping back into her pretentious form of speaking), “look like a not-very-well-drawn horse… with an equally not-well-drawn spiral horn attached to your forehead,” her voice sneered.
She paused and felt her face: had she sneered, or was it just her voice sneering? She’d have to watch that.
“Your hind legs are drawn like front legs and you have a really huge ass that no amount of forced perspective could account for. And the reason I wasn’t sure if you’re a he or a she,” Edda goggled, astonished (she felt her face again), “was that yesterday you were drawn with such long, feminine eyelashes…”
“Look who’s talking,” The Creature impatiently interjected, with accentuated condescension, “yesterday, your arms were so long you could have scratched your knees without bending! I’ve heard that some people think you’re ‘beautifully- and sensuously-drawn’, but I just don’t see it. Chichi, maybe… or self-conscious… certainly self-centered…”
The Creature, whose name was yet unspoken but whose species was obvious to all but the rather thick Edda, lifted its tail. “I’m outta here,” he excreted, “I hear Shrek 4 is auditioning mythical beasts over on 35th Avenue…”
He galloped away, leaving Edda glancing at passers-by, hoping upon hope that one might be foolish to approach and ask if she really made a living as a dancer.
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:24 pm
#194 gh: I would submit that ‘undersnark’ is a creation of the Department of Redundancy Department’s Department of Redundant Redundancy, except if I DID say that, I’d be cockpit
curses on you, Pendant Patrol!fodder for sure. So that’s why I’m not saying it. Nyaaa.(insert emoticon here to show that poster is kidding)The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Did I mention that Aldo Kelrast looks like Pee-Wee Herman?
No?
Carry on.
Paperback Rifler
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
197. “Years ago, in a DtM comic book (yes, I had one when I was a kid), Mr. Wilson told Dennis about how he went down into the Mexican desert to chase Pancho Villa.”
Perhaps Mr. Wilson was speaking figuratively and using the phrase “chasing Pancho Villa” as a euphemism akin to “cleaning the garage” or “pulling your head” or “having a telepathic chat with a unicorn.”
Moreover, we can speculate that when Mr. Wilson returned from his exploits in the Mexican desert, Mrs. Wilson noted that it was the first time that she had ever known Mr. Wilson to be “crabby.”
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
gh @ 194:
Submitted for D.R.D. Department approval, I suggest the first instance of a later-oversnarked observation should be designated the Ur-snark, and the person who made the original observation is the Ur-snarker.
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:11 pm
#200 Porky
Now that was worth waiting 200 comments for.
#201 willethompson
*blink*
I’ve talked it over with Mollly and we don’t understand your hostility to undersnarking. Hold on . . .
#204 The Spectacular Spider-Brick
Ur-snark it is. Game, set, match. Undersnark shall be tossed onto the ashheap of CC history, if willeT can just let go.
andreavis
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
#191 SSB– you forgot the kicker, “Winners don’t use drugs!”
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Poteet post and repost: I didn’t answer the first time because I am not familiar with Cartoon Cavalcade, although my parents certainly had many cartoon collections. Probably just the wrong people saw it the first time.
Dingo: I must echo Mountain Mama’s warning. You have no idea what HOT is until you’ve spent some time in the Phoenix area in the summer. Tucson isn’t quite as hot, and even so a friend of mine who moved here in the early nineties exclaimed after his first real summer week, “Well, I knew it would be hot, but I didn’t realize that when you leave the house your skin would burst into flames.”
Jeff, thanks. Campbell and Grant sounds more do-able. I’m assuming this would be in the block where Here’s Music used to be?
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Spiderbrick: I second your motion about ursnarks and ursnarkers. Makes perfect sense, and should prevent a lot of confusion.
Jeff
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:27 pm
O’Fogeyette, not sure, but it’s across the street from Coffee Express.
Anon
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
What about Barry Bonds?
Little known fact, Clambake helped him with his swing and timing helping him achieve his home run greatness.
gh
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:49 pm
O’Fogeyette –
You seem remarkably calm for someone who lost MW and Lio on the same day. I know you had a love/hate thing with the latter, but if you feel so compelled, you can get it by e-mail each day, though today’s
didn’t arrive till nearly 1:30PM. Nice, in a Mutts-y poignant kind of way, if you missed it.
andreavis
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:51 pm
#210 — I’m not surprised Barry Bonds got some “help” from Clambake, since they’re both sporting some seriously large noggins these days.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 2:51 pm
andreavis @ 206:
I didn’t. It became the penultimate line: “Winners don’t read Crock!” The last verse had very little to change, but I felt I had to modify that line so as to not simply reproduce the whole verse unsnarked.
Little Guy
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:01 pm
FOOB: It could have been worse (for the readers):
Birch tree falls *after* they move in, decimating Elly & John’s bedroom. April is forced to give up her *new* stuff that she bought *and* her basement bedroom and move into the birched bedroom. When she objects, John calls April a Spoiled Princess and Elly snipes that she has a pouty face.
Side thought: I’m glad Lynn isn’t writing Funky Cancerbean, or one of the characters would tell Lisa to ‘get over yourself, Pouty Face. People die all the time.’
Cedar
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:04 pm
The paper we get at my office, the Seattle Times, has started running a new strip called Maintaining
http://www.gocomics.com/maintaining/
Does anyone else get it? I’m not sure how I feel about it–I don’t like the flat drawing style, especially the busy faces. Most of the punch lines are a little sitcom-y, and the cartoonist doesn’t have a great sense of set-up and timing, but this one made me laugh:
http://www.gocomics.com/maintaining/2007/05/22/
The guy who draws it is super-cute, though.
http://www.gocomics.com/maintaining/bio.phtml
Squid Countess
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I am home sick today; I consumed some questionable chicken, and now I can’t stop “thinking of Milton.” (See Trilobite’s comment, #47).
If you haven’t seen the comic book presentation at James Lileks’ site, you really should. The lovingly rendered body hair is quite an eye opener. The diagonal shading that passes for body hair today should weep. Er, that is, …eww. Just go look at it.
(SFW, unless you can’t be seen looking at the cover of a comic book about a girl named “Toni Gay” at work.)
http://www.lileks.com/institute/funny/batchone/index.html
King Folderol
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Even though most are obsessed with the weird Momma featured above, I can’t stop thinking about that Hi & Lois. Looking at it a 6th time, I can’t believe how neat Dot & Ditto left the lawn. It’s typical in cartoons for kids to leave the outside or the inside of the house a complete mess. Here, Dot & Ditto look like they dug the holes perfectly in the ground and without destroying the lawn at all. I’m partially in awe of these two kids, but also wondering if these aren’t the signs of two little serial killers in the making and if the black rooms Josh featured the other day aren’t getting to the entire family.
Crock – That looks less like gooseflesh and more like a series of malignant tumors. Thanks to Funky Winkerbean, perhaps everything now leads back to cancer, and it will turn out that the soldiers in Crock are, in actuality, an experimental injection designed to cure cancer. Which makes the Momma featured above pretty normal by comparison.
Non-Shannon
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Re: 126 bootsybooks
Sing it, Bootsy!!!
I feel like giving a similar rant to various bitchy people I’ve met in Austin when they start complaining about this or that minor inconvenience that they’ve blown out of proportion because they have nothing else going on in their lives.
Oh! Yeah!
mdrew
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:45 pm
#215 – “Maintaining”
I’ve only seen one strip and I already hate it.
This is an example of the poor drawing skills that come from
not paying attention in class and being spoonfed “Boondocks”
as a radical departure from the “whitey” dominated norm.
Hey – Can you make your drawings look interesting instead of like sad Barry McGee-esque graffiti faces and bad anime?
Non-Shannon
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:47 pm
64:
Good to see you again, Quäsenbo Pan.
*drools*
Oooh, and hey, everybody else: I found this link through Quäsenbo Pan’s website, and it has nothing to do with comics, but you all must see it:
Death Valley Panorama
¡IncreÃble!
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:09 pm
# 207 — Thanks, Fogeyette. And sympathies re the summer heat. Do you sometimes use oven mitts to drive? That’s one thing I remember from Erma Bombeck.
Non-Shannon
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Dingo! You put me on your webpage! How sweet. I hadn’t noticed before because I tend to stop reading a thread right after I post, usually because my posting means that I’ve already been reading the comments for 3 hours or more, and I finally decide to do something else, like work.
And here I thought I wasn’t a frequent enough commentor to get your attention.
odinthor
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Momma — Just for the record, I (vaguely) think that Francis’ freckly curly-haired friend is named “Herbie.” If I am wrong and this proves that my knowledge of Momma is not encyclopaedic, or any other kind of dic, I will be much relieved.
HBGlord
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:21 pm
MT: I hate to break it to you, CCers, but Buzzard probably does sport a mustache — judging by the fair locks sprouting from his gimme cap, it’s unfortunately of the blond and wispy no-see-um variety. In fact, the two gents with him are actually bewhiskered spokesjocks Keith Hernandez and Walt “Clyde” Frazier spieling him on the wonders that a month’s application of Just for Men can do to ’stache him up good! Then and only then will they discuss nefarious schemes with him, and not a minute before!
SForth: And speaking of hirsute, what was the over/under on how many days it would take for Ted to stubble up so butch?
mav
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Just saw Spiderman 3. I must say that I am impressed by how accurately Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst portray the Peter Parker and MJ Watson of the newspaper strip. Which is to say that they’re both self-absorbed, whiny and idiotic.
(Sorry if this has been discussed, but I wasn’t about to review three weeks of archives.)
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:25 pm
#128 O’Fogeyette — Another Tucsonan reporting in!
Mountain Mama
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Oven mitts to drive!! God, I loved reading Erma Bombeck.
I have not, but perhaps I should put a pair in the car. Because sun-baked steering wheel? Is HOT.
Ukulele Ike
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:30 pm
#183 Poteet: I’m not familiar with Cartoon Cavalcade, either, so I just bought a copy from an on-line bookseller.
If you go to the Amazon used book search and type the title in, as the first available edition you’ll get an image of the white-bound printing with the cryptic comment “PBC Edition.” I have no idea what this means, but I’m throwing it out as a clue.
Finally — why is “My Cage” appearing under the color comix section of the Chronicle page when it’s clearly in black-and-white? And why is it so god damn SMALL? It’s bad enough I’ve got to squint to make out Ashley T. Bengal, but when Taylor T. Fox finally shows up I am going to be all kinds of pissed off.
HBGlord
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:36 pm
#228 — But the strip is in color, Uke Ike: It’s just that Ashley is a white Bengal tiger and Taylor is a silver fox.
Islamorada Girl
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I think that Mark Trail is actually the Elrod Repertory Cartoon Company, in which many different characters are played by the same ‘toons.
For example, George Spelvin played both Bo Jones in the “Andy Kidnapped by Rednecks at the Ivory Billed Woodpecker Woods” and is now playing the role of “Buzzard” in “Oh, Those Crooked Airport Pols”. The same toon plays Cherry, Kelly Welly and now, Sam Hill. Those years of study at the Old Vic certainly paid off.
smacky
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:45 pm
#190: Mountain Mama, are you implying that 0.1% of women either (a) enjoy being fooled into entering a horny man’s apartment for sex when they just wanted to pee, or (b) are suicidal but also lazy, and stumbling into this situation solves the pesky “how to do it” problem?
HBGlord
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:45 pm
#230 — Good theory, Islamorada, though i’d rather keep believing Elrod is instead representing LoFo’s puddle-shallow gene pool.
Mountain Mama
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:46 pm
OK *big breath*
The tree in FOOB got me thinking…..I’m not nearly as brilliant as most of you, so feel free to rework, ignore, make better, whatever. It turned out to be a lot harder after I got started.
No apologies to Bobby Goldsboro, sap-monger par excellence…..
Farley
See the tree, how big it’s grown
But friend it hasn’t been too long
It wasn’t big.
I laughed at Lynn and she got mad;
The first plots that she penned, oh, were just fine.
Then the sadness came.
And she ran to kill him off
Saved April to go roadside
Slipped and really hurt her strip
That’s what the ‘mudgeons say.
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and we loved her so
But she surprised us with a story
Kept us up for two weeks long some years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
If she knew what we thought of her
‘Cause we sure know
That she’d been dreamin’ up some plot twists
Better for some silly Lifetime show
And Farley, we miss you
And we’re bein’ good
And we’d love to be with you
If only we could
….so tired now…..tried to make…..it scan better….
kingklash
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Momma Zits’ majumbos are flopping about with no protection! They will kill us all with their unfettered pointyness! Or, at least poke out all nearby eyes!
Spratson
May 23rd, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Dennis the Menace: I thought this was a sweet rendering of Dennis leading Joey to his first MILF. But Dennis could make easier money with a lemonade stand.
AndreaD and the Grandstanding Oddballs
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Why does Gabriella think in English but speak in Spanish?
HBGlord
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Momma: I’m so perturbed by the undisguised depravity of the scenario as “illustrated” and “written” by Mell Lazarus that i initially overlooked the fact that Francis’ faux-ladies’-room lair, being situated at the end of a staircase, is a clear violation of the Americans With Disabilities Act. So not only is Francis’ weirdo WC the apex of creepy, it’s discriminatory as well!
Mountain Mama
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Smacky, as I get older, I’ve learned that many things that may seem odious or strange or just plain icky to the vast majority are someone’s sexual turn-on.
I was going to type 100%, but I know there is some woman out there somewhere that would actually like walking into what she thinks is going to be a bathroom and finding a guy alone in his messy apartment, ready and willing.
What kind of a woman would that be (besides impossibly horny)? Some question are better left unanswered.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm
Thanks, Jeff.
231 gh: Thanks! I ur-posted about this issue a few yesterthreads ago, but nobody saw it. Or saw it and didn’t care. I wasn’t too upset, especially since the AZ Star will continue to run MW until the “current story line concludes on June 16.” That alone–the fact that the Vera story line is going to end in our lifetime–put a smile on my face. I added Lio to my daily (paid-for) delivery of comics from UComics. I added Mary to my Houston Chronicle pages. Or maybe it was the other way around. No problem. I’m reading way more comics every day than I ever did before I became a curminion.
220 Non-Shannon: Incredible Death Valley sky photo!!!!! Thanks for posting!
221 Poteet: I’ve never used oven mitts for driving, but what a great idea!
226 Yay, Trilobite! I don’t know if you caught my many-yesterthreads ago posts about my paleontologist dad taking me to the mountains to look for fossil trilobites, but where we did it was Tumamoc Hill.
Dean Booth
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm
I’m listening to Life on the Mississippi to and from work, and recommend it highly. It made me think of a new saying: “He doesn’t know Mark Trail from Mark Twain!” Of course, maybe I don’t know sayings from shinola.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm
233 Mountain Mama: excellent!
Wellsey
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Non-Shannon, thanks for the linkage to the Death Valley pic. Gorgeous!
And whoever it was that made the comment about Mark Trail and the beaver and the lips, I’m still laughing. I don’t know if you intended it as a double entendre, but I’m still laughing about it as one.
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:34 pm
# 228 — Ukulele Ike, thank you very much! That is indeed a clue. And I hope you’ll like the book. I’m not familiar with other old comic compilations, but that one opened a new world for me as a kid.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Attn techies: How do you get your nom de blog to be blue, and to link to your own website or blog? I’m thinking I’d like to link to my blog, which is totally noncomics-related, but I don’t know how. Thanks in advance.
gnome de blog
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I think that Mark Trail is actually the Elrod Repertory Cartoon Company, in which many different characters are played by the same ‘toons.
For example, George Spelvin played both Bo Jones in the “Andy Kidnapped by Rednecks at the Ivory Billed Woodpecker Woods†and is now playing the role of “Buzzard†in “Oh, Those Crooked Airport Polsâ€. The same toon plays Cherry, Kelly Welly and now, Sam Hill. Those years of study at the Old Vic certainly paid off.
- Islamorada Girl, 230
I’m impressed that you remember Elrod Rep characters’ names from so far back. I can’t even recall Mark’s insurance chiselin’ buddy from last month.
Your theory does offer hope for Frida Kahlo’s return someday. Frida’s radio is enshrined in my personal Comix Guest Star Hall of Fame, along with Fence Post Frank, Aldo “Kangaroo” Kelrast, Rita Begler, Cedric, Skanky Skankington, Old Man Gezelter, and a few others.
Llarry
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:15 pm
#223 — odinthor, I think you’re safe. I believe the friend is “Normy”.
How do I know this? Because stupid [boxcar] like this gets stuck in my brain and eventually works its way back to the surface. My only consolation is that I can share this pain with others…
BTW, re: Arizona: I live here, too, and yes, it’s hot, but it’s no big deal. As a co-worker says, “Not once have I had to go out and shovel *hot* off my driveway”
The Avocado Avenger
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Tuning in late just to add a thanks to everyone for confirming that Buzzard, newest and hottest addition to “Mark Trail”, does indeed look like a biological relative of Rusty’s. And I think they’re both related to Alfred E Newman.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:21 pm
#244 O’F -
Just type your URL in the “URL” box and let the magic of WordPress carry you away!
Click on my “link” above for a complete spurious example (SFW).
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:22 pm
246 Llarry: I agree that hot is not that big a deal. I was just thinking that someone thinking of moving here, like Dingo, probably doesn’t have a clue what HOT really means. And I love the quip about not having to shovel hot.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Let’s try it…
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:25 pm
It worked! Totally cool! Thanks, Uncle Lumpy! Now if even one person clicks on my blog, that will double my readership.
gnome de blog
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
the AZ Star will continue to run MW until the “current story line concludes on June 16.â€
- O’Fogeyette (239)
You mean that’s it!!???? It will be June 16 before Vera finishes reading the letter. Where’s the drama? The conflict? The fists o’ fury? Maybe Vera and Von will feel so guity about how they treated each other that they’ll go down in flames in a double-suicide pact and leave the entire estate to Vietnamese orphans. Wouldn’t that make Mary feel cheap?
No, probably not.
But I predict power-walking on June 17.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
#250 – O’F
Works like a champ! Lovely pictures, too!
Is that “dove” (sorry, Margo) our old friend Columba livia, or something more exotic?
Moon Mullins
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:32 pm
250 O’F: Hopefully I’ve helped quadruple your blog visit counter. Nice pix! Does Jack Elrod visit your blog to get bird shots for his MT closeups?
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:46 pm
Thanks, Uncle Lumpy! The dove is Zenaida macroura, commonly known as a mourning dove. When I was a little kid I thought they were “morning” doves, and couldn’t understand why they were so noisy at other times of the day. The only other doves we get much are white-wings, which are humongous and bullies. One is nesting in the pyracantha bush out front, but it’s so dense I don’t think I can get a picture.Their scientific name is Zenaida asiatica. A fun fact I found when looking up the names is that mourning doves feed their babies pigeon milk.
Thanks also to Moon Mullins. I’m so excited to have readers.
My best pictures were posted June 18 and 19 of last year. A young Cooper’s hawk spent about fifteen minutes just standing in my pond, presumably cooling off. If you click on the pix, they enlarge.
O’Fogeyette
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:50 pm
…thanks again, and now I’m signing off for the night. Gotta watch the news then go sit in the spa and watch the sunset and birds. It’s a rough life.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:57 pm
#256 O’F -
G’night! Aunt Lumpy loves her some raptors, but all we get out here are Buteo jamaicensis – we went houseboating on the upper Mississippi last summer specifically to watch the eagles, and weren’t disappointed.
Trilobite
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:09 pm
#239 O’Fogeyette — I keep getting this disquieting feeling that they mean the Vera storyline will conclude on June 16, 2008.
We are at the beginning of the Year of Vera, and have many more months ahead of us, full of exciting letter-reading scenes and poignant moments where Vera bemoans how crappy her life is. When she reconciles with Von, she will move backwards in time to the moment of their first argument, and we will re-live the entire saga again.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Thank you for posting a link to your blog, O’F. I find the pictures rather soothing, which is a good thing.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:27 pm
#228 & 229,
Also, the company docks its workers if they bring in personal items that are not black, white, or grey. They can. The job market is just that tight.
.Doc
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:29 pm
9CL: Absolute rubbish. I don’t know why I waste my time reading it. But don’t we all slow down to see the wreck on the side of the road?
FOOB: The house will be repaired in short order, repairs covered by insurance. No biggie. April will move in, become all depressed in her basement dungeon, and do someting self-destructive. Or get pregnant. Or both.
Oddly enough, Doonesbury is the only remotely funny comic strip left.
dariaclone
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:46 pm
In a thread about over and under-snarking, attached to a post about “Alice”, I wanted to issue a thanks with no snark attached. Josh, thanks so much for drawing attention to the issue of sexism in the comics. Everytime you mock the comic world patriarchy, I smile a little inside. Thanks!
SatanicMechanic
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:47 pm
#125 Uncle Lumpy, a while back….
Hah hah! Whoops! Good point.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Does it say something about comic-page patriarchy that until recently I assumed Brooke McEldowney was a woman?
Ukulele Ike
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:57 pm
#243 Poteet: XOXOXOXOX (warm fuzzy hugs)
Well I hope someone can take that info and run with it. I’m looking forward to receiving my Cavalcade….I’ve had a copy of The Smithsonian Collection of American Newspaper Comics since the early ’80s, and the big books of “Dick Tracy” and “Buck Rogers” reprints that were done in the late ’70s as well. Also the complete run of Nemo Magazine and every collecton of other old funny pages I’ve found in all the old used bookshops of Manhattan and Brooklyn over the past 20 years. Hope I can find some new material in CC!
SatanicMechanic
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:02 pm
#164 Spider-Brick
Man! I thought he was a woman too for the longest time!
Squid Countess
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I’m telling you, you should look at James Lileks’ comic book commentary. He approaches Josh-ness at times – especially re: Captain Boomerang.
http://www.lileks.com/institute/funny/batchone/index.html
Squid Countess
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:48 pm
O’Fogyette Cool blog! I was totally thrown by the strange initials, though. Surely you mean “O.F.’s Blog.”
S. Spider Brick – So glad your name links to your “formal” picture; I love it. Perhaps you should try others – swimwear, apres-ski…whatever you feel.
willethompson
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:58 pm
O’ Fogeyette: Funny story. Here in the SE US, we have mourning doves and red-tailed hawks. For the hawks, this works out like Margo and pants.
Anyhoo, I took the fruit of my looms to Florida to view the Corkscrew Swamp on, coincidentally, a day when the birdwatchers were doing their snowbird thing. An elderly birdwatcher was observing a dove and my son said, “Do you know what we call those in NC?” The elderly lady, charmed by my grandson-ly kid, smiled and said, “What?” And he said, “Lunch.”
Her expression was Elly FOOBlike in it’s shock and disapproval.
queek
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:18 pm
215: the Freep just started carrying that strip a few weeks back. So far, I’m less than amused, and I hate the art style. However, it replaced Beetle Baily, so it does have its advantages.
off-model
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Has anyone mentioned this Italian Calvin & Hobbes cartoon?
Mibbitmaker
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:37 pm
With all the debate about “oversnarking” and “undersnarking”, I nonetheless decided not to do a parody of the Yardbirds’ “Over Under Sideways Down”.
You’re welcome. Void in all 50 states. Some restrictions may apply. copiedwrong 2007. No rights reserved. Waitress. Veal. More zippers, mule! ™
Dean Booth
May 23rd, 2007 at 9:55 pm
This started out as something completely different, but for what it’s worth: Help stop Josh’s nightmare.
Uncle Lumpy
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:04 pm
#273 Dean -
Hee, hee! Teh awesome, as these kids say!
Sweet dreams, Josh!
Gabe
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
I think Josh was watching the Lost finale and had no time for snarking.
I understand, it happens.
Len
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Hey, Edda! I don’t like you (and the unicorn you rode in on) implying that Oberon Zell was hurting the baby goats whose horn buds he moved to cause then to grow as a single horn.
But it was a kick to see Oberon alluded to in the funny pages. I’ve written for his (alas, defunct!) Neo-Pagan magazine, “Green Egg.”
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/5/23&name=9_Chickweed_Lane
Moon Mullins
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 pm
273: Dean:
Fun Stuff! Great work!
My only worry was I kept thinking I might be opening up an Orbitz ad by playing.
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
# 255 — O’F, thanks for the nice photos! We’ve got mourning doves in Iowa also.
With your interest, you might want to try http://www.ebird.org — by registering bird sightings in your backyard, you can help scientists. I’m no expert birder, but it’s fun.
Allie Cat
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:41 pm
#273 – Sleepless nights? Clambake has something of a “home remedy” for that.
It involves Mrs. Coach Thorp, a baseball bat, and something he calls the “horizontal fork ball”.
You’ll need an ice pack the next day, but you’ll sleep like a baby.
Ohhh YEAH!
Also, I should mention – the postmark/return address on my autographed original Scaduto – Milford, CT. I don’t think this is mere coincidence.
Poteet
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:42 pm
# 265 — Ukulele Ike, many warm fuzzy hugs to you also:-). And WOW, you have quite a comics library! When your CAVALCADE arrives, I’d really appreciate your opinion of it, and how you think it compares with the compilations you have already.
Trixie Belden
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:44 pm
# 251 Wow O’Fogeyette! Thanks for the link to your blog! I’m a sucker for pictures of birds and plants, and it’s always interesting to read about what’s going on with nature in other parts of the world.
mnemonica
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:08 pm
Hello, Tucsonians: I’m facing west-northwest and waving at you from El Paso.
alamo
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:11 pm
foobville — son of a birch but i’ll bet that old house gets more wood than elly.
thank you. thank you.
Plinko Commie
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:38 pm
FOOB sneak-peek for 5/24: Deanna accepts blame for triggering the chain of events that led to the tree hitting the future home of the ‘rents, JUST BY BEING HER. Well, knowing you’re not a blood Patterson IS half the batte.
But the more intriguing panel is the third one. Dad’s coming to get the chain saw, says Michael, so he’s going to go and give him a hand.
Give him a hand.
GIVE … HIM … A … HAND
Finally, at long last, the hourly fan letters to Lynn are seeping their way into the story lines. More dismembering, mule!
Plinko Commie
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Wait, that’s not Deanna, is it. It’s … April. I think. The Elly bun should have been a giveaway. Hell, at this point it’s a small miracle you can tell the genders apart in Foobadelphia, so give me a break already!
Moon Mullins
May 24th, 2007 at 12:05 am
5/24 Mary Worth:
Because of what he did to Vera, Von has been “haunted by guilt, shame, regret” and also looks to be slobbering and spilling Johnnie Walker Scotch on to his blue-and-black-appearing tie. Only thing is, I can’t tell if he is spilling Johnnie Walker Black on his blue tie, or Johnnie Walker Blue on his black tie.
Jeff
May 24th, 2007 at 12:08 am
Hello mnemonica!
Moon Mullins
May 24th, 2007 at 12:10 am
5/24 RMMD:
“Hugh, you are welcome to stay at your father’s house. If you are hungry, I will make you a Pop-Tart in the large toaster slot I keep alongside my crotch.”
Moon Mullins
May 24th, 2007 at 12:19 am
5/24 Mark Trail:
We’ve all seen unusual dialogue placement in this strip before, but this time, in panel three, the hired goon known only as Buzzard is anally raping the commish’s speech balloon.
Poteet
May 24th, 2007 at 12:26 am
5/24 DT — Dick Tracy: “Surely some agent at the CIA is more qualified than me.” Gawdalmighty, let’s hope so.
Sean
May 24th, 2007 at 3:52 am
The way Joey is holding his head and the dreamy look in his eyes confirms (for me) that he will indeed grow up to be a big ol’ queen. That single lock of curly hair seals the deal. He could be straight out of Greenwich Village circa 1981. And what’s that on his feet?? Saddle shoes???!!
Shammi
May 24th, 2007 at 4:54 am
Um…why is the “Ladies” sign on the inside of the door, when the door evidently opens outwards? :) UNLESS, the room they’re standing in is the bathroom?
Uncle Lumpy
May 24th, 2007 at 11:00 am
#292 Shammi -
This issue was resolved above.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
May 24th, 2007 at 11:01 am
#289 Moon Mullins — how do you know it’s the anus of the word balloon?