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Too crazy for Mark = real trouble

Mark Trail, 9/27/11

Is it possible for a character in Mark Trail to behave in a fashion so detached from the realities of human motivation that he will shock even Mark into self-awareness? To recap: Mountie McQueen is afraid that people will find out that he and his mother are engaged in the odd but (to the best of my knowledge) wholly innocent and legal pastime of putting bands printed with bible verses on the legs of geese. This bible-banding operation was stumbled upon by Andy, a dog who can neither understand what he saw at Mother McQueen’s cabin nor describe it to anyone else. Nevertheless, the risk of exposure is too great, and now Andy must be taken prisoner based on a completely fabricated rabies scare.

Mark’s befuddled “What?” shows that this is one insane thing too much even for a man who deals with insane things without comment every day of his life. If nothing else, one must assume that Andy’s rabies shots are all up to date, seeing as Mark’s live-in father-in-law is a vet. (You’d also think that Andy would have been fixed, too, though the way he scampered off after Princess might imply otherwise.)

Funky Winkerbean, 9/27/11

Oh look, it’s the time of year where Les worries frantically that his Lisa’s Legacy Walk will somehow go awry and fail to keep up its streak of not curing cancer. This year everyone will be pelted by a cold rain, which, if we’re lucky, will mean that after the strip’s next time jump Summer will be running the Les’s Legacy Walk to cure pneumonia.

Gil Thorp, 9/27/11

Was that sports action in panel one too thrilling for you? Don’t worry: in panel two, you only have to hear about a fumble being run back for a touchdown, and can relax by just looking at a guy handing a football to a ref. In panel three, just enjoy a soothing Marty Moon closeup rather than looking at something anxiety-inducing like a successful two-point conversion.

Momma, 9/27/11

Aren’t Momma’s memories of her long-dead husband usually quite worshipful? This strip implies that she held him in as much passive-aggressive contempt as she does her children. Actually, from the dubious way that picture is looking at her, it seems that she’s had his soul preserved in photographic form via dark magic, the better to torment him throughout eternity.

286 responses to “Too crazy for Mark = real trouble”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft — Talk about “Mission: Impossible”… the Wisteria Ballroom at Summit Beach Park burned down in 1950!

    (I wonder if Ghost Lucy knows Ghost Lisa…)

  2. Effluvius Erratus
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    GT: HIGH FIVE! Aw, man! Don’t leave me hangin’ in mid-air like that, bro!

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Was Momma Hobbs long-dead husband named “Calvin” by any chance?

  4. Dennis the Two and a Half Menace
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    FW: You can keep beating a dead wife but you can’t make her cure cancer. Oh God, I’m turning into Crankshaft!

  5. Mimi
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Why is the Mountie wearing his hat indoors, and why is it moving around like that? By panel three, he looks like Maurice Chevalier.

  6. S. Stout
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Momma: I’m sure Momma’s last line is some sort of Oedipal joke, but I’m just not going to think about it.

    Luann: Where are you Dirk? Save us!

  7. Dennis the Two and a Half Menace
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    “Although I assume that you were headed to the big city to write up my banded geese in an article in your travel magazine bringing in hoardes of filthy tourists, meaning I believe you capable of long distance travel, the ability to write, and the good luck to hold down a travel writing job in this economy, I assume a fence can stop you, Andy.”

  8. AeroSquid
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    FC: Who are ‘They’, Jeffy ? Are you referring to the faceless generic breakfast food corporation GloboFlake LTD whose tax-sheltered headquarters are located in Colombo, Sri-Lanka ? The same company that hires local children to count out the exact amount of raisins per serving or have their pay docked ? You are a selfish monster, Jeffy. Oh wait. Sorry. Billy ate all the raisins out of the box before you woke up.

  9. pugfuggly
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    MT: I think it’s time we all faced facts: Sgt MacQueen is crazy. Not different, or kooky, or just a little too ‘canadian’, just flat-out insane. And judging from Mark’s expressions in today’s strip, I think he’s figured this out, which is why he’s not pointing out that the Sergeant isn’t wearing any pants today.

    FW: See that website address? lisaslegacyfund.org? That’s a real thing. The Lisa’s Legacy Walk is a real thing. It’s happening this sunday. In a real place (Cleveland, Ohio). I know it’s all for a good cause and all, and this isn’t necessarily proof that there’s actually a real Les out there somewhere…but I’m still scared….

    GT Nice of them to give free proctology exam to the players, but do they have to do them on the field?

    C’shaft Speaking of nice, isn’t it sweet of Cranky to just continue on with his yard work while he watches his elderly neighbour go through some manic hallucination episode next door?

  10. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    You’d also think that Andy would have been fixed, too, though they way he scampered off after Princess might imply otherwise.

    Andy’s much too busy writing his newspaper column to bother with that b***h:

    http://www.youaskandy.com/about-you-ask-andy.html

    (Not that any puppies would result from an Andy-Princess coupling — since the former was neutered back in 2000!)

  11. Dood
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “A soothing Marty Moon closeup”? More like an interview with Beelzebub.

  12. Dood
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Is No. 11 a little tea cup, short and stout?

  13. John C Fremont
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @Mimi (#5):
    “Every little breeze seems to whisper ‘McQueen,’
    I don’t have a phone, I can’t twitter ‘McQueen.’”

  14. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    FW: “Glory be to the Lisa, and to her game of touch football, and to the Holy Cancer. We commitest our lives in the service of Lisa Worship. We will sacrifice to the Holy Westview High Scholl Shrine. These are the words of Dead Lisa, shared to you all, through her Supreme Prophet…..that’s me, Les. Acolyte Cayla……bring forth the Holy Cancer Puss……and now, Lisa’s minions, we shall commune……”

  15. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    GT – ‘I’m flying, Gil!’

  16. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#12): Yeah. There is his handle, and there is his spout.

  17. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Today’s Momma is drawn relatively well. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t make me seasick, which is a huge improvement.

  18. Widdle Jeffy
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    I always wondered who bought the “raisin” bran at the dollar store.

    Also, the family is going to run out of dollar store rough-n-ready ass-wipe paper if Jeffy finishes that bowl of bran.

  19. Dood
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Hey, what about Johnny Malotte’s dog? Doesn’t he have a Quebecois poodle?”

  20. DAS
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    You’d also think that Andy would have been fixed, too, though they way he scampered off after Princess might imply otherwise.

    I dunno about that. I dated a girl once who’s family had one of those annoying little yippy dogs. Anyway, this dog was fixed, but that didn’t stop him from trying to hump people’s legs or get it on with other dogs.

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    NS: Wiley, you are no LUBJEM FEJF.

    SB: one more out-of-work clown for Baka Gaijin to avoid.

    Zits: I remember that feeling from college.

    Bizarro: yeah, didn’t work for Bonds, either.

    Pluggers by definition don’t have 401Ks. /FAIL.

    rMC: Maureen’s classic line.

  22. Chyron HR
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Funkerboo – Poor Les. The banner shop misprinted his url: “LesMooreswifediedofcancer.org”.

  23. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#9):

    I actually had the courage to visit the Lisa’s Legacy Website. Batiuk is quoted as saying that Lisa is a “magical character”…..

    I knew it! Lisa IS a goddess!! Probably Anubis’ 2nd cousin by marriage (an Egyptian god of the dead and the underworld, how fitting)……..and Les is here to establish the Cult of Lisa on Earth, with his adoring, fawning new soon-to-be wife Cayla and their daughters to help.

    I realize the website is for a good cause……to find a cure for cancer. That’s not my beef. My problem is with Batiuk and his Dead Lisa Lisa Lisa Worship at the expense of Cayla, not to mention everyone else who is still alive.

    If we were to follow Batiuk’s example, we would spend all day fawning over the dead, worshiping relatives long gone, no one would move on, no one would live, and society would fall into decay and ruin.

  24. Droopy Says
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Q: Why does McQueen keep digging that hole deeper?

    A: Because he knows Trail will fall into it. With Andy.

  25. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Mimi (#5): I’m not sure about the RCMP, but most military and many police organizations require one to wear a hat whenever armed, and he is wearing his sidearm.

  26. teenchy
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#23): Sounds like the plot of a Faulkner novel.

  27. Snowshoecat
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MT– oh I just give up. Or maybe I should just have whatever Jack Elrod is on. Don’t dogs wear tags as proof of vaccination? Any way ya look at it, that insane “Mountie” is just insulting to Canadians.

    Fer stoooooopid!

  28. gleeb
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#13): If the flying geese could sing like you,
    They’d honk much better than they do.
    For you’ve brought a new kind of love to me.

  29. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    So EVERY SINGLE COMIC at chron.com is down this morning, and I’m too lazy to go to another readily available site. Have Gina and Bobby reunited, married, and moved in next door to Paul and Lu Ann yet?

  30. Matthew Dimick
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    “I just got the two of you birds with one stone.” Is a reference to the Momma’s pregnancy scheme to entrap her late husband into a shotgun wedding.
    “Stone” is “sperm.”

  31. Comcis Fan
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MW: Cayla can barely contain her excitement over putting together another charity run in memory of her fiance’s sainted first wife. Also, she appears to be African-American again.

  32. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#29): Yep, you missed it. Also, Gunther got some, Spider-Man actually caught a criminal and Ziggy wore pants.

    The thing you miss when the Chron is down…

  33. Comcis Fan
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Re #31, oops, meant to preface that with “FW.”

  34. Digger
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    MT: I was thinking that someone should tell Doug that the red uniform is really just for ceremonial occasions and that while on duty, modern Mounties dress like regular cops. But since he’s worried about being ratted out by a dog, I’d say he’s got bigger problems to worry about.

  35. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#32): Well, poop. Thank God I didn’t have to miss the thrills of talking about off-screen football action in Gil Thorp.

  36. bats :[
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

  37. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#29): Don’t believe @Scott Bot (#32):. Ziggy didn’t wear pants. They were culottes.

  38. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Aaaand now some of the Chron comics are back. My day wouldn’t have been complete without that thoughtful, in-depth analysis of cutting in Rex Morgan.

  39. bats :[
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#13): “Thank Heaven, for little geese…”

  40. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    misheard lyrics for $100, Alex.

    next, in NS. [*]

    being kewt is hard work.

    A flying squirrel with an acorn cap on its head. Your brain is invalid and your argument is mush.

  41. Jason D.
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1):

    In keeping with the bleakness of the Battyverse, the site where it stood is probably a Sprawl Mart now. Or a cancer-treatment center.

    (Sad that I’ve read enough Crankshaft to know that’s what they call their Wal-Mart parody. Wasn’t that stolen from The Simpsons, anyway?)

  42. Chareth Cutestory
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    GT: Safety Derek Tolan knows better than to go for helmet-to-helmet contact, although, being one step ahead of those pansy safety rules, he’s incorporated brutal flying eagle claw strikes into his game.

  43. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT: So unreasonable, heavy-handed dog confiscating makes you popular in the community? I really don’t understand Canadians.

    JP: Let’s move from Sam and Abbey having much more money than they deserve to Randy Parker having much more importance than he deserves. (Although actually, I think April is the real target here.)

    SM: You’d think JJJ would want a photographer who requires a bit less direct supervision.

    A3G: I’m not sure what’s more unnerving: Paul’s buying a house next to his parents’, Paul’s buying a house without talking to his fiancee about it, or Paul’s eye make-up fading when he gets sincere.

    MW: A phone call? Damn, I was hoping that Gina would try to reawaken Bobby’s memories of their childhood days together by rolling in on a skateboard (ponytail proudly erect), through the stadium and into his heart.

  44. sporknpork
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Apparently in high school football it’s totally legal to karate chop an opposing team player’s knee tendons with your… wait, is that his left or his right hand? Wtf?

  45. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#23): Lisa is a “magical character” alright, Batiuk — from Pibgorn!

    FW: It always rains on Les’s morose.

    GT:
    Panel 1: Wow, those football guys really go out of their way to pat a guy on the ass — even the opposing team!
    Panel 2: There isn’t any “don’t ask, don’t tell” in football, either, apparently.

    MT: Yeah…. not too obviously villainous or anything there, Dudley!

    9CL: Why have a cliche/stereotypical father-to-be (ReFOOB) when we can have a strawman father-to-be?
    (maybe I… shouldn’t… use… “we” there…. um…. “we”…. uh…. yeah…. shldn’t… I…)[/TV's Frank]

    Crank: “Nobody likes a guilt-trippy psychosis, Sis!”

    CdS: I like that! … Now, I’d like to yell some “helpful encouragement” to Brooke McE and Tom Batiuk….

    Garfield: “You wouldn’t have that attitude if I were the 1940s era Bob Clampett Daffy, fellah!”

  46. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#43): I’ve looked at Mounties from both sides now/ From geese and dogs, and still somehow/ It’s rabies problems I recall/ I really don’t know Mounties/ At all.

  47. Not Just Any Dipstick
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    FW: Can lightning strike that pole, now, please. I want to see a smoking carcass, melted eyeballs, charcoal covered, crispy critter! Please Please Please.

  48. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Archie“I’m already three weeks behind!”
    It’s funny because he calls decades “weeks”!

    Day“That’s the stinger talking.”
    I can believe it. The woman looks to be dead or comatose.

    Mark – First panel: Mountie Doug (say, wasn’t he with Riders in the Sky?) is barehanded.
    When he gives Andy a pat in the second panel, he is wearing white gloves.
    It’s not enough that he implies Andy might have rabies. He also has to imply that he has cooties!

    By the way, don’t forget to use a Dudley Do-Right voice when you read Doug’s lines. It goes well with Bullwinkle for Mark, Rocky for Rusty, Nell for Cherry, Inspector Fenwick for her old man, and June Foray’s Brooklyn girl voice for Kelly Welly. Andy, like Horse, is a silent character, but if he ever said a few words, I’m betting he’d sound like Ronald Colman.

    (edited to add: CURSE YOU, MIBBITMAKER!)

  49. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Mary – Gina’s really serious here! No matter how many middlemen she has to go through, she’s going to blow her way back to Bobby Black!

    Momma – Death will not protect your balls from this microscopic misanthrope.

    Non Seq“King of the JUMBLE…”
    Way to go, LUBJEM FEJF! You’ve been name-checked!

    Pluggers – This is actually a screen test outtake from Shoe. “Okay, and your reaction to the news that a chicken crossed the road to get to the other side is…? Ah. I see. Is that all? Really, that’s it? Well, thanks for coming in, and we’ll be sure and call if we have anything for you.”

  50. Snowshoecat
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Help! I was trying to think of a U.S. Counterpart to insulting the Mounties. Last week one of the serials showed a vicious looking cop, complete with snarl. I thought that was a little over the top considering the situation– which I can’t remember either.

    Anybody remember?

  51. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Six – Oh, Cinderella! Did you think that if you married him you could get Jughead to change?

    (She’s just a poor Cinderella, but what did you expect in this strip?)

    @John C Fremont (#y244): That’s “Police Street,” though I expect a search for Firesign Theatre and something else with Police in it would have brought the clip up if it was anywhere handy. I don’t expect it helps that it’s on my iPod. (As is J-MEN FOREVER, which came out on DVD a few years back.) Hey, you got wacky stories? Tell, tell!

    @Vince M (#y247): I guess the logo could be scary if you see it as something other than words. I never thought about it before yesterday.

  52. Chip Whittle
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Hazel poses the eternal question: how do you tell a strip that’s fallen into eternal reruns from a legacy strip so well-established it doesn’t know that it isn’t still 1973?

    Hi and Lois: I think it’s nice of Lois to have imaginary conversations with cardboard cutouts of herself. It saves her the trouble of paying attention to the baby.

    Mary Worth: It may seem like a lot of work on the Mob’s part to set up a pro soccer league just to knock off Gina, but I like to think it’s practice and they’re going to go taking out all the comic strip characters who think their childhood crush is the only love they can ever have. My sole complaint is all this time spent on Gina instead of whacking Granthony.

  53. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    MT: Again, what happened to Kelly Welly? And will she snicker when she hears the word “Mountie?”

  54. Not Just Any Dipstick
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    I’ve seen bands of gold from both sides now/ A verse to keep them safe somehow/ It’s not a crime that I recall/ I really don’t know Mounties / At all.

  55. wossname
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#29): I’m telling you, forget Chron – Darkgate Comic Slurper is da bomb. (Isn’t that what The Kids Today say when they mean “the cat’s pajamas”?)

  56. Nekrotzar
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Why did Mark emit a befuddled “WHAT?” in the last panel? Is it that:
    (1) He’s baffled by the concept of an ‘office’ rather than spending all of one’s time wandering outdoors
    (2) He’s confused that he is expected to eventually ‘leave’ and return home to his icky wife
    (3) He just noticed the color of his shirt

  57. wossname
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#50): Are you thinking of the cop in JP who may have given Sam a ticket for parking the Road Queer in three handicapped spaces and four fire zones? But he wasn’t really snarling – it was more of a shit-eating grin.

  58. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#48): I’d like to add a couple of names to your list:

    Bill Ellis (Mark’s editor) — Edward Everett Horton

    Johnny Malotte — Bill Scott (doing his Jean LaFoote “Cap’n Crunch” voice)

  59. Lorne
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    The look of bewilderment on Mark Trail’s face is clearly a first for this strip.
    I assume Elrod spent hours carefully copying it from a photo of Joe Biden.

  60. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#55): Darkgate Comic Sluper is pretty darn good but not perfect. Baby Blues and Piranha Club are about two weeks behind the current strip. There may be others as well that I don’t read. I still have to go to Comics Kingdom for BB and PC.

  61. geekwhisperer
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MT- You know that video of the two chatbots talking to each other? http://youtu.be/WnzlbyTZsQY? This is how I picture the action in Mark Trail now. Between characters who are mimicking human interaction and not quite getting it. I think the “little valley” they are protecting from their projected onslaught of bird-band induced tourism may be called “Uncanny.”

  62. Terrapin
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    MT: Aww, give the Mountie a break. It’s perfectly natural for him to think Andy is going to tell all and expose his mother’s goose banding operation. After all, he has many lengthy conversations with Princess. See? It all makes perfect sense.

    DtM: “Oh, and I want a hot wife. Not an old hag like you.” See Dennis? That’s how to be a menace. Is that so hard?

    H&L: I just have to say that the sky-blue hoodie is a cute look for Lois.

  63. Liam
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth-Gina you won’t be able to see him. You are talking on a regular phone not a video phone.

    Gil Thorp-Panel One: Is this Good Touch Football or Bad Touch Football? That is the hand signal for a real tight end.

  64. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . . just not going there, just not.

    also, hadaka apron!

  65. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#58): And let’s not forget:

    Andy – Don Messick (The voice of Astro in The Jetsons and also Scooby Doo.)

  66. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#35): I’m just hoping the writing team takes a good look at the past couple weeks worth of strips and says ‘Oh, crap, that’s right, we gotta come up with a plot of some sort, don’t we?’

  67. Old School Allie Cat
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MaryW- (thought bubble) Please let this plotline end, please let this plotline end, please let this plotline end… (/thought bubble)

    Crankshat – Sadly, the Wisteria Room is now a head shop called The Purple Banana and it’s kind of in a bad part of town. But, in a very special episode of C’shaft…*REEFER MADNESS*!

    Gthorp – Am I the only one who reads the sports commentary panels and understands them about as well as a foreign language? I keep reading in hopes that one morning, I’ll wake up fluent in German.

    A3G – More Margo, mule!

  68. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    FW: Okay, Les is a jerk, Cayla is a doormat, and all the rest. But you know what’s actually bothering me the most about this? That damned article, “The,” in front of “Lisa’s Legacy Run.” I wouldn’t have a problem with “The Lisa Legacy Run,” but that possessive there is throwing me off. It’s not that there’s anything intrinsically wrong with it. I mean, you can have “The Policeman’s Ball” and such, but — for this, it just feels wrong. We have “The Terry Fox Run,” but if it were called “Terry Fox’s Run” I don’t think we’d call it “The Terry Fox’s Run.” See what I mean? It just bugs me.

    Plus, Les is a jerk and Cayla is a doormat.

  69. Liam
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MT-The only thing funny in here today is the way he is wearing his hat. There is just something funny about a jauntily askewed hat.

  70. Chip Whittle
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Back in the Day suggests maybe the Mark Trail characters are kept in the iron grip of terror at being eaten by a dinosaur.

    The Barn is looking for one of those big Phantom paydays. I too am curious about the Ghost Who Moos.

    Citizen Dog: I wonder if he’s auditing this class, or taking it for credit.

    Flo and Friends: Those cretins at urgent care! Actually checking whether an elderly man is in good shape after an eye injury, and taking the time to be sure other people aren’t abusing him! Where’s the impersonal and indifferent treatment a real Plugger craves?

    Gasoline Alley has taken longer to turn the “new washing machine” storyline into “beat Slim with a baseball bat” than I figured.

    Heathcliff counters cat breath with… a chorus of mouse breaths? The heck? When does it stop being offbeat and just become cryptic?

  71. Liam
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail-What are you talking about? This isn’t in the script. There is no ad libbing.

  72. Uncle Lumpy
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#68):

    That damned article, “The,” in front of “Lisa’s Legacy Run.”

    Les clings to his dream of coast-to-coast “Lisa’s Legacy Runs”, but this, like Lisa herself, will always be The One and True Original.

  73. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    FW: Lisa’s legacy is a knobby-kneed jerk hanging a banner in the rain. Can a dead person sue for posthumous slander?

  74. Comcis Fan
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s just me, but I get the feeling that Momma’s “one stone” joke comes at the expense of Poppa’s testicle.

  75. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Retail: While I’m not unsympathetic to the trials and tribulations of retail work, when a customer says she can’t find what she’s looking for, do you really need written instructions before you’ll help her?

    Pyjama Diaries: Judging by this strip, I’m very glad I’m not a woman. It I was, that means that back when my wife was working outside of the home it wouldn’t have been enough that I was raising five kids all under the age of five while also doing graphic design and copy writing — I’d have also been forced to whine about it all day as well!

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Baka’s looked at clowns from both sides now,
    on the ground, and splashed around. . . .

  77. imperturbe
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    JP – Why is Randy being followed by a Saudi Arabian? Obviously, he wants to give Randy a huge check just for being high, white, and handsome!

  78. Dennis Jimenez
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    MT – What’s up Doc? Mother McQueen knows someone’s got the brains to figure out his fiendish plans and is taking steps to keep him quiet – I’m referring to Andy, of course….

    FW – Lisa used to run…Lisa hung banners…Lisa climbed ladders…Lisa knew how to swim….

    GT – Just like the Trojan War man, I can’t wait for them to drag the dead guy around the field….

    Momma – OK, no incest quips – I’m too classy for that….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  79. cvk
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Wait, in Gil Thorp, Milford makes a desperation two-point-conversion attempt to sneak one point ahead, with eight minutes left? Everyone knows anything can happen in eight minutes in football.

  80. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    FW: Les is standing on a metal ladder between a tall lamppost and an equally tall tree during a rainstorm. I have never wanted to pray to Zeus so badly in my life.

    MT: I’m just now waiting for the strip when Mark says “Your determination to isolate Andy can only mean one thing: he stumbled upon your mother’s secret cabin where she runs her bird-banding operation!” It will make absolutely no sense, but that’s par for the course on this arc.

    9CL: Presumably Diane and ex-Father Dad would have discussed their birthing plan before now, hence ex-Father Dad’s assumption that “we want a natural childbirth.” Also presumably the attendant doctor would have asked Diane about her feelings regarding painkillers well before now. But then we wouldn’t be able to have a “ha-ha, men don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies” joke, would we?

    Luann: Didn’t even make it to first base, huh Gunther?

    MW: Ever heard the phrase “it’s so crazy/stupid it just might work”? Mary Worth seems to operate on that principle.

    Pluggers: Since when do Pluggers plan for retirement? Most of them don’t live that long anyway.

  81. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#76):
    Maybe Baka can take a few of these to get rid of clown phobia.

  82. Chip Whittle
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Li’l Abner: Well, this is a weird territory they’ve got in all of a sudden.

    Love Is… going along with her poisoning you for the insurance money.

    Pluggers: Wait, Pluggers have 401k plans? I thought they kept all their money in Mallo Cup redemption points.

    Rabbits Against Magic now brings you the Pawpet Theater Ladies Guild production of 9 Chickweed Lane.

    Tarzan is foiled by the invention of communications technologies 135 years ago! What next, Mark Trail hearing something on the radio?

  83. forgot
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @AeroSquid (#8): and all the cereal is covered with billy spit.

  84. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#81): Whoops. Had it blanked out. Try again. Anything to cure Baka.

  85. Snowshoecat
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#57): That’s what I thought. Even checked it out. Nope. Gee, maybe I HAVE had some of what Elrod is taking!

    That dude was sneering! Honestly.

  86. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#Y239): I think King’s story about the killer finger (“The Moving Finger”) was only about seven or eight pages long. Interestingly enough, however, he once said that he thought that “proctological examination” was one of the most beautiful sounding phrases in the English language. Or did you already know that, hence the reference? No, I did not know that and now I’m skeeved out that anyone thinks “proctological examination” is a beautiful sounding phrase, no less a best-selling author.

    @Sequitur (#84): What, am I supposed to sprinkle clowns with this then let Lio’s Cybill go to town? Hmm. That’s a great idea.

  87. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    A3G – Man, I think Luann is about to do all our snarking for us.

    Crankshaft – Because the Funkyverse needed another dead person dominating the life of an unlikeable asshole. Though at least Lisa just stands around creepily instead of breaking out the guilt-trips.

    GT – …I don’t think I want to know where that guy’s left hand is.

    H&L – The sad thing is, this is actually plausible.

    JP – “Well, we understand they’re working on a new smug-powered reactor over there. Are you or have you been in close association with someone who is smug? He might be detecting residual smarm emissions.”

    Love Is… – coprophagia.

    Luann – SOMEONE SMACK HIM.

    MT – You can’t do that, Doug! Andy is Mark’s thinking-brain dog!

    MW – Soo, does Gina decorate her apartment with menus, or is she still on shift?

    OBH – I love the art here.

  88. Dood
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: What if Marty Moon is a disgruntled call center helpline operator? “Paris keeps around left end…he’s in!” “Uhm, can you tell me why my computer doesn’t boot up?”

  89. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#88): That would explain why I spent an hour and a half on the phone with my cell phone company yesterday.

  90. Dood
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “Just doing a little a civic work! See my pose? Hands on my belt, and my sidearm, heh, at my side? Yes, sir, civic work! Don’t mind me. I’ve got civic work to do!”

  91. Shrug
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#10):

    “(Not that any puppies would result from an Andy-Princess coupling — since the former was neutered back in 2000!)”

    Repeating my channeling of the classic movie MARKY TRAIL AND THE HOLY GOOSEBAND from a few days ago: “They turned me into a Neut — but I got better.”

    Or if you won’t buy that, assume the 2000 strips reported the adventures of Mark Trail of Earth-One, and that currently we are reading about Mark Trail of Earth-Two (or for the Marvel-oriented, the ULTIMATE MARK TRAIL franchise universe).

    Coming up: the big CRISIS ON INFINITE COMIC STRIP WORLDS crossover event, in which all of the individual universes in all of the current comic strips get mashed into one reality, killing off many of the minor characters in the process and retroconning the rest. (I’m even willing to let Ziggy, Bucky Katt, Les Moore and the rest of personal pantheon of ptui people die “heroically” in the course of the adventure, just as long as they did.)

  92. wossname
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Those who are not obsessive-compulsive about words and grammar are advised to skip this post.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#68): I know what you mean about the “The,” but it may be less annoying if you think of “Lisa’s Legacy” as a single term – as if it were “The Lisa’s-Legacy Run” (or “The ‘Lisa’s Legacy’ Run.”)

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Lorne (#59): NOOO! You mentioned a politician! Oh, the horror of it all. Well, he’s a Democrat, so maybe it’ll get past the hall monitor.

    @Sequitur (#65): Andy – Don Messick (The voice of Astro in The Jetsons and also Scooby Doo.)
    Ah, you mean like this little blast from the past. (I’d also settle for Muttley, aka Mucker, aka Precious Pup, aka Snuggles… anyway, the snickering dog voice.)

  94. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#92): Actually, it’s English for “DIE, Lisa’s Legacy Run.”

  95. Greg
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    GT: The blitzing safety is using his rigidly-held hand as an aileron to use torsion in mid-flight and thus land safely upon the landing strip: i.e., the quarterback’s head. I submit this should be called the Stuka, not the Blitz. (Show of hands…?)

  96. Mountie McQueen
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Look out Mountie McQueen! I’ve seen that face on Mark Trail before. That’s his face punching face.

  97. odinthor
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Retail. — Sigh, I wish Retail weren’t bipolar about customers asking questions.

    Actually LOL’d today at both Ballard Street and Drabble. OMG–Drabble, I tells ya! Clearly, Armageddon is at hand.

  98. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#91): “Coming up: the big CRISIS ON INFINITE COMIC STRIP WORLDS crossover event, in which all of the individual universes in all of the current comic strips get mashed into one reality, killing off many of the minor characters in the process and retroconning the rest.”

    see “Weapon Brown” for details.

  99. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    MT: What’s with the hexagonal logs? Are they in a giant bee hive?

    I guess we all know who the McQueen bee is.

  100. Oregonian
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#95):

    The blitzing safety is using his rigidly-held hand as an aileron to use torsion in mid-flight and thus land safely upon the landing strip

    Is that what he’s doing? I thought he was measuring the height of the runner for some super-special-Gil-Thorp-tackle. (“Now, let’s see… Coach said to start at the top of the helmet, go down 27 inches, then go 8 inches to the left, and apply firm shoulder pressure just above the butto– wait, did he say left or right?”)

  101. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#92): That helps. Les is still a jerk and Cayla’s still a doormat, but that helps. Thank you.

  102. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G: That “S” in there looks too similar to a “G”…

    MT: Did they forget the background?

    FW: Last night I was thinking about Funky Winkerbean and realized Cayla started to become a doormat (and change her hair) only after Les had sex with her. I’m thinking that Les gave her some sort of STD that makes her into a heavy-lidded puppet with few words to say. The STD causes her to be extremely passive toward Les, meaning that she will be, essentially, a mindless slave until her inevitable end due to cancer.

    MW: “It’s me, your true love, Gina Jiminez!” “Who?

    FC: Wouldn’t Jeffy prefer something frosted? Wasn’t under the impression that kids liked raisins in the cereal (unless, of course, said raisins are encrusted with sugar)

    __________________________
    DEATH to Jeffy!!

  103. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    FW – You know, it could be the “Breast Cancer Research” run, which might be more descriptive. But, then it would be more about the disease and what might be done to cure it, and les about spending moore time wallowing in Dead Lisa Lisa Lisa.

    I’ve accumulated more than one ex-wife in my journey through life, and have learned the hard way that your current wife really doesn’t like to be reminded if the ex- once lived where they live now – she will especially object to sleeping in the same bed or seeing their decor or leftover effects. I can’t imagine the reaction if I compared their behavior unfavorably to that of the ex- (“Lisa didn’t do it that way!” “Well, you’d better dig up her corpse and start fucking it, ’cause that is the only action you are getting tonight.”), or if, say, I asked them to hold a giant banner with the ex’s name on it while I hung it from a tree.

    If Batty really wants that Pulitzer, maybe he could have Cayla sit Les down and tell him that he needs to move on and stop worshipping at the shrine of Deadwife. The sad thing is that Batty apparently doesn’t see anything creepy or wrong in the way that Les behaves and the way that Cayla simply stands around in silence and accepts it.

  104. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#102):

    Last night I was thinking about Funky Winkerbean…

    I’m so sorry. Have some catnip. That might cheer you up.

  105. Widdle Jeffy
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#102):

    It is a whiteout.

    Winter comes early in Canadia.

  106. Pozzo
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    FREE THE BELLE PLAINE 13!!!

  107. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#103): Well of course he doesn’t think it’s creepy or wrong! Don’t you understand that Lisa’s death is the Tragedy to End All Tragedies? Don’t you appreciate how Serious it is, and how Nothing can Ever Be the Same?

    You Philistine, you just don’t appreciate Art, that’s what.

  108. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#107):

    And the Great War was the War to End All Wars, until they decided that it was so popular that it needed a sequel: Great War II: The Germans are Coming for You!

  109. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Widdle Jeffy (#105): I was thinking that the drugs had kicked in there for a second.

    Also, in a comics-meets-reality twist, this morning, I was at McDonald’s, where a group of old men (some with hats) were drinking coffee and talking. I immediately thought of this Pluggers strip, and quietly finished up my breakfast before moving out the door…because it was almost exactly like depicted. Scary.

  110. Oregonian
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Regarding the golden bands on the geese: I hate to be even wasting the brainpower to be thinking about this, but… how much gold are we talking about here? Didn’t this whole Mark Trail Misadventure start with some goose that was floundering around in a marsh? Was the goose really weighted down by the gold it was carrying or was it just a coincidence that the banded goose happened to get into trouble?

    If Mister Mountie McQueen and his Malevolent Mama are throwing around enough gold to seriously burden a goose, then being a law enforcement officer up north must pay really, really well.

  111. sully
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    2 questions: Why is Momma’s son so excited about taking after his late father, who apparently was bald, disrespected and unloved by his wife, and died young? Is he excited about the possibility of a merciful death to escape this horrible strip? At a height of what appears to be about a foot and a half, what is Momma sitting on? An infant booster chair? A sack of potatoes? Roadkill?

  112. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Marvin’s Mommy, be glad that “SSSPLLLLTT!!” is coming from the exposed end of his alimentary canal.

    Good acting there, Sarge, pretending that you don’t know that Beetle is presenting his hiney to you.

    Mary Worth: AAAUGH!

  113. Red Greenback
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    “Just doing a little civic work. I’m replacing the worn-out fun fur upholstery on my ’86 hatchback. Oh, by the by, I am keeping Andy for a few days.”

  114. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    The original caption for today’s Pluggers is “You know you’re a Plugger when the paternity test fingers you as the father of that cat-kangaroo-chicken abomination to Nature.”

  115. Plugged
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#109):

    You are a plugger when you notice groups of old gents, hanging around, chatting and drinking coffee at your local fast food joint.

    Sorry dude, you’ve done turned plugged.

  116. Esther Blodgett
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#94): Nobody who speaks German could be an evil man.

  117. Marc
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Luann- Jesus H Christ, that annoying little dweeb goes on one semi-date and all of a sudden he becomes almost as big of a smug ass hole as Les. We all know you didn’t get any last night Gunther, so knock off the act, get back to your sewing machine, and shut the fuck up.

    Mary Worth- Apparently Gina believes that not only will a “pro” sports easily pull it’s “best” player away from whatever he’s doing to talk to every crazed psycho-stalker who calls the team, but also that she will be able to see him through the speaker in the telephone.

  118. greghousesgf
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): he did the voices of about half the HB characters. and I’m kind of embarrassed that I know this.

  119. UncleJeff
    September 27th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Jason D. (#41): I always liked “King of the Hill’s” Megalomart.

  120. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    MT: At least Sgt Crazy Mountie’s delusions about Andy’s ability to rat him out are come by honestly: didn’t his mother have the exact same reaction?

  121. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wait, what? Does Gina really think that soccer players hang around the front office? Even though this team is currently on the road?

  122. Perky Bird
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: What’s with the score of Belle Plaine 13, Milford “G”? Does the “No Child Left Behind Act” require subject matter integration to the point where football spectators must now solve a quadratic equation to figure out the score?

  123. Purple Prosecutor
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry, I can’t leave the football “strategy” being employed in Gil Thorp alone. Why would you EVER go for 2 in that situation? If they get it they’re up 1, but with 8 minutes left that’s not really any better than being tied. The other guys still have plenty of time to score so they need to rely on their defense getting the stop whether they go for 1 or 2, and then Milford would get the ball back with enough time to at least get in field goal range. But if they MISS the 2-point conversion then they’re still down 1, and if the other guys score a field goal Milford would be down 4 and need a touchdown to win. The risk just isn’t worth it.

    The only way going for 2 makes sense here is if they think their defense is good enough that they can let the other team have the ball for 8 minutes without scoring, but don’t trust their offense to be able to generate another scoring opportunity. But if your offense is struggling THAT much, they’ll probably miss the 2-point conversion.

    At this point, it wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out that the 6 points Milford already had came not from two field goals like you’d expect, but a touchdown and a failed 2-point conversion, and Gil just goes for 2 every time because “it’s worth more points!”.

  124. Red Greenback
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    GT: Today’s terrific artist is Belle Plaine, 13.*

    *with apologies to Bob Weber, Jr.

  125. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    RA: It shouldn’t surprise me that this is so badly drawn, but … that plant at the front of that … chair/sofa/hate seat she’s sitting in? It’s also under the elbow propped on the back of the chair. Lewis is capable of drawing things on top of things (look at the cup which is (mercifully) in front of the shoes. So this must be deliberate.

  126. CanuckDownSouth
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#80): re 9CL – well, we *do* get that joke, but as Brooke’s expense. From friends/family who’ve had kids, I know that there comes a point during labour where you can’t start certain types of painkillers. Any modern hospital asks about pain management plans ASAP, they don’t wait hours for the daddy’s transatlantic flight to arrive.

  127. DebiDawg
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#60): Yep, also One Big Happy and a lot of times, Sally Forth – I go to Arizona Central, they have a pretty good site…..

  128. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Purple Prosecutor (#123):

    Except, we already established that the kicker is horrible and can’t make extra point kicks reliably (he missed at least one last week, plus a short game-winning FG – reading between the lines of last week’s score, he may have actually missed two PATs).

    Or, he could be pulling an Andy Reid and having trouble reading his chart.

  129. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Mimi (#5): I didn’t notice the hat until you mentioned it, but it seriously looks like his hat is resting on a tiny point on top of his head and is just rolling around. To me at least.

  130. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#125): I dunno, I looked at it and figured it was some sort of urn spewing flames, which makes about as much sense as any of the other artwork in the strip.

  131. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    JP: Also, of course, “Bubu Chibale” is not an Arabic name. The odds of a Saudi diplomatic passport belonging to an African are pretty small… So this is probably an AQ guy traveling on a forged passport who’s stalking the Judge. A little current affairs intruding? Probably to as much effect as the Japanese earthquake did.

  132. AeroSquid
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    I can’t shake the urge to flick Mountie McQueen’s jauntily tipped Mountie hat off of his 1930′s technicolor head.

  133. Gil Thorp(ed)
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Purple Prosecutor (#123):

    Not being a huge follower of Milford’s football team (the shock treatments have worked) I don’t know their makeup too well.

    They could suffer the fate of many high school teams that don’t have good, accurate kickers so it is better to go for two than not get the one.

  134. Bitter Scribe
    September 27th, 2011 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Mimi (#5): Forget the hat–why is he wearing his dress uniform? AFAIK, the RCMP just puts those on for ceremonies, parades, etc. (Any Canadians out there with better info?)

  135. Shrug
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Overthinking MARK TRAIL — Loony, lying, dog-penning-up bad mountie McQueen is worried that hordes of tourists will flock in to his rural paradise and spoil it once they learn from Mark’s magazine story that there is a crazy lady here who bands geese with Bible verses. As we’ve all pointed out here over the last few weeks, this is highly improbable. But I AM starting to think hordes of tourists might flock in once Mark’s story reveals the home here of The Worst Mountie Ever.

  136. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Gil Thorp(ed) (#133):

    If you go back to last Saturday’s strip, the six points Milford had on the board were from a touchdown and missed PAT (“kicker Azal Jaddou struggles again”), so going for two is actually consistent with the plot point they have developed.

    I guess there is no backup kicker available to step in, so they are just abandoning the kicking game, as sometimes happens in the NFL. As a Dolphins’ fan this isn’t the first time I’ve said “Pity Wes Welker isn’t around anymore”.

    “Playing against the New England Patriots on October 10, Welker became the second player in NFL history to return a kickoff and a punt, kick an extra point and a field goal, and make a tackle in a single game.”

  137. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#103): The truly irritating thing is that at one point, Cayla was expressing real and legitimate concerns about living in Dead Lisa’s shadow all the time, and nothing ever came of it. Instead, she just devolved into the “Oh, Les is such a Specialest Snowflake and I’m so jealous of the attention he gives Suicidal Susan and I want him to love me so very very much etc. etc. etc.” doormat we’ve all come to know and hold in contempt. Confronting Les about his unusual and unhealthy fixation on his late wife could have made for an interesting story, but it would also have insinuated that Les is wrong in something, so of course we can’t have it.

    @CanuckDownSouth (#126): Well, in this case the joke isn’t about men in general but Brooke specifically, but your point is well taken.

  138. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Evidence as to why Archie has been in high school for the past seventy years.

    Pluggers: I don’t think people/terrifying-humanoid-animal-monsters whose bodies are in “Plugger” condition on roller coasters, for fear they would die and the park would be sued. Seriously Pluggers held together with carpenter’s glue, prescription meds, spit, and misplaced down-homey smugness. Seriously, at this point their blood contains more medication than plasma.

    Garfield: Clearly Jim Davis has never read Pearls Before Swine.

    Sally Forth: I thought Jackie was Hilary when I first saw this arc since they’re both blond and female (the art in Sally Forth is not exactly photo-realistic). I was incredibly confused for a moment as to why Hilary, who has been like twelve-to-thirteen for over a decade, was suddenly full grown and yelling at her mother. Well, not exactly, I understood why she was yelling at her mother, if Sally Forth was my mother I don’t think I’d ever stop yelling, at her and in general.

    Ziggy: There is no Ziggy today, I choose to believe this is because the killing spree has finally started.

  139. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Plugged (#115): I had woken up late and had to stop at a McDonald’s for breakfast. Keep in mind this was about 7:05 in the morning, not six. It was, however, in a neighborhood that did have lots of elderly folks.

  140. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nervous Newbie (#138): Actually, there probably IS a Ziggy, just not where I was looking. But I like my way better.

  141. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    GT – Belle Plaine 13, Milford 6, but safety Derek Tolan suddenly hears Sweet Polly Purebread’s cry for help, so it’s Hip Hip Hip and Away He Goes!

  142. blackgoat
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    MW: Too busy to read the comics today – I’m on hold with the “management office” of the New York Yankees. I called to tell them that I’m an old friend of Derek Jeter and that it’s urgent that he meet me immediately at the In-Town motel.

  143. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#125): I’m assuming Donna A. Lewis draws so badly to distract us from the even more craptacular writing. “Maybe if I place this flame-urn under the woman’s arm, they won’t notice that I haven’t bothered to come up with an actual joke! Yeah, that’s the ticket!”

  144. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @blackgoat (#142): Ooh, you’ve given me an idea. . . . “Hello, George Clooney’s agent? This is George’s old skateboarding pal, bourbon babe. . . .”

  145. UncleJeff
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    MT 9/27/11: “…and so they say that Mountie McQueen’s hat changed sizes 3 times that day.”

    GT: We have a local high school coach who quit using kickers for extra points several years ago. He says he could never find one who was consistently good and he had a good enough offense to make those 3-yard plays into the endzone.
    Unfortunately, he’s lost a few playoff games because he’s run into teams which have good enough defenses to stop those 3-yard plays that were unstoppable during the regular season games.

    Pluggers: I think this is a strip from a few years back when Plugger retirees discovered what happened to all that ENRON stock they’d invested in.

  146. btown
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#109): almost exactly? What was the difference? Was it two bear-men and a dog-man, instead of two dog-men and a bear-man?

  147. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Funky White People: Let’s see … two panels, five mentions of St. Lisa (including the banner). Perhaps the rain will fall for forty days and nights and drown everyone in sight. We can only hope.

    Juggs Parker: Hmmm, that foreground character in the first panel is vaguely ethnic-looking … Randy had better get his police flunky to check on that potential terrorist as well.

    MT: The Fist ‘o Justice is clenched, coiled and ready to strike.

    Merrily Worthless: Yes, a simple phone call to any professional sports team’s main number will get you through immediately to the team manager. Hang on, I need to call Terry Francona and find out what the hell has happened to the Bosox …

    Plug-grrrs: Silly strip. Pluggers don’t have 401(k)s, they keep what little extra cash they have buried in a tin can in the back yard.

    Rex Morgan, Motorboat Driver: So Spider’s theme song is “Cuts Like a Knife”?

    Wizard of Inanity: Day two of anachronistic “jokes,” day two of comedy failure.

  148. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#145):

    It says a lot for the inherent conservatism of NFL coaches that we don’t see more non-situational 2-point attempts. I’m surprised that Belichick hasn’t decided that Tom Brady has a better than 50% chance of getting the two yards he needs (shades of the infamous 4th-and-2 gambit from that Colts game?), and so even if his kicker will make it 99% of the time, it is still statistically the better bet to go for it every time.

  149. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#50): I guess you could try insulting the FBI. Or maybe the Texas Rangers. Although you may have to deal with a Chuck Norris Karate Chop o’ Justice if you try the latter …

  150. Little Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Is Mark gonna have to choke a Canuck?

    FW: Ha ha! God pisses on your Lisa Worship. “What part of ‘You shall have no other gods besides me’ do you not understand?”

  151. Gal Friday
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nervous Newbie (#138): Awesome!

    “Seriously Pluggers held together with carpenter’s glue, prescription meds, spit, and misplaced down-homey smugness.”

  152. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: What idiot schedules Lisa’s Legacy Walk during the Battle of the Bands @ Westview H.S. (i.e., rainy season)?

  153. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#150): Considering that downpour from heaven in Funky, perhaps the banner should read “Lisa’s Legacy Ruin.” Yeah. I’d contribute good money to that.

  154. Liam
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    MT-That first panel looks like the beginning of a porno. Sergeant McQueen will show you why he is a Mountie.

  155. Uncle Lumpy
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Here’s the Jack Miner Bird Sanctuary in Kingsville, Ontario — a real-life Canadian Bible Goosebanding operation. Check out their Recovery Map. No word on hordes of tourists, but they aren’t actively trying to discourage them.

  156. MapDark
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    MW : And we thought LISA was a creepy insane stalker! Gawd , seriously next thing you know , Lisa will disguise herself as a maid to force herself into Bobby’s room at the hotel.

  157. MapDark
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @MapDark (#156): Whoops , I meant GINA . But the two are pretty much a palette switch of each other. Two crazy women who have no concept of how to act with other human beings.

  158. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): “Ruh-roh, Requitur!”

    @Shrug (#91): I’ll go along with your proposed crossover, but only if we call the first chapter “Mark of Two Trails”!

  159. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#152): The Dead Wife Charity run isn’t scheduled the same week as Battle of the Bands, it’s replacing it. By appropriating the “important event that’s always rained upon” running gag, Les moves one step closer to his ultimate goal of supplanting the entire Funky Winkerbean cast. Next up on the agenda, he will recover from alcoholism, lose his arm in a car crash, get a therapy dog, and finally die of cancer so he can write a book about himself and organize a charity run in his own memory.

  160. Austria
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    BB: No, it’s hide-and-seek. You’re supposed to go hide, Killer, how dense are you? Everyone’s supposed to go and hide…except Sarge.

    FW: “Relax, Mr. Dinkle…the Battle of the Bands will be great.”
    “I don’t know…if this rain keeps up, we may have to turn it into the Swim Meet of the Bands.”

    RMMD: Er, in what alternate universe does Rex Morgan, M.D. take place in, anyway?

  161. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    The Ten Commandments of the Goddess Lisa:

    1. I am Lisa, thy Goddess. You shall have no other Goddess in my presence (unless my Holy Ghost givest thou the divine Thumbs Up)

    2. Thou shalt make images, banners, best-selling non-fiction works, and other likenesses in my honor.

    3. Do not swear falsely against my word, lest I not save your ass next time by getting the flight cancelled.

    4. Remember Lisa’s Legacy Run and keep it holy

    5. Honor thy Les and his Daughter, for they are my Specialest Snowflakes

    6. Do not kill, for Masky McDeath is on strike and the bodies are already piling up

    7. Do not commit Adultery, unless thou hast the thumbs up re: Commandment 1

    8. Do not steal the proceeds of Lisa’s Legacy Run, lest ye be condemned to work at Montoni’s for all eternity.

    9. Do not bear false witness to my PB&J-making prowess, lest I spread your butter right over the edge, snowflake or not!

    10. Do not covet thy neighbor’s wife (nor her Ass), unless you sell comic books for a living and the husband is presumed KIA, in which case, tap that thang!

  162. Austria
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    …Goshdarnit, Al and Diva…

  163. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#144): Makes sense to me. I can imagine George Clooney skateboarding around with someone named bourbon babe… buckled or un.

  164. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Purple Prosecutor (#123): Well, to Gil’s defense… I read an article recently about a HS football coach that had a Master’s in Statistics (sorry, I can’t find the citation right at the moment)… Turns out, he figured out that (1) punts are for suckers (opponent field position is only about a 20% differential, but keeping the ball is a 50% scoring differential) so he always goes for it on 4th down, (2) he always does on-side kicks (he has 20 different formations for that alone), and (3) he always goes for 2.

    In a recent game, his team was up 29-0 before his opponent’s offense ever took the field. That’ll sure put some wear and tear on a defense!

  165. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#158):

    “Ruh-roh, Requitur!”

    You would not believe how many times I’ve heard that.

  166. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#154): “Doug McQueen is a mounted policeman with a difference. And what a difference!”

  167. Steve H
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    What? Are these strips overlapping now? I thought the goose was strictly Mark Trail’s territory.

  168. Perky Bird
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Why turn The Lisa’s Legacy Run into a swim meet, Les? Isn’t your ego–I mean, Lisa’s memory–big enough to have both a charity run and a swim meet?

  169. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#151): DAW!!! Thanks!!

  170. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#164): Sounds like he follows the Gregg Easterbrook/TMQ rules of coaching.

  171. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#159): Can he get taken POW twice for a total of 15 years in the process? I’d go along with that kind of “writing”…

  172. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    MW – I predict that Gina will not be able to get in touch with Bobby through conventional means, and that she and Mary will dress as maids and sneak into Bobby’s hotel in a misguided attempt to meet him. Hilarity will ensue.

  173. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#9):

    “this isn’t necessarily proof that there’s actually a real Les out there somewhere…but I’m still scared….”

    I am too. Scared enough to stay far away from Ohio, like two states away at least.

  174. Minarets
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: I am veryveryvery sure that the Guerrero latino (dude in blue) is the chief of police who Kit is waiting for. I mean…prior, the chief made that ‘so much depends on it’ cryptic comment, and now he has run off….and the Guerrero was no where to be seen UNTIL a decent amount of time (for chief to shed his clothes and find a mask). Very sure.

  175. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mimi (#5): Why is the Mountie wearing his hat indoors, and why is it moving around like that? By panel three, he looks like Maurice Chevalier.

    Mimi, you funny little good for nothing Mimi…

  176. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#22):

    Dammit! I have a nightmarish cold and you just made me laugh so hard I went into a coughing fit.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#161):

    HAHA! I love that the comics/comments about comics that are making me laugh the hardest today is the one/are the ones about the most depressing comic of all time.

  177. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    The recent (or at least recently uttered) theory that Camp Swampy is a long-term cosplay might shed some light on Constable McDo-Right. I hereby co-opt the theory and apply it to whatever fort or precinct or encampment he and his fellow, ahem, “Mount-ies” operate out of (and where they get their man).

  178. ArchieNemesis
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#19): Not sure about his poodle, but Johnny Malote apparently has a truckload of kids,
    including one who looks suspiciously like Kelly Welly.

  179. Baka Gaijin
    September 27th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#172): Maybe Gina’ll show up at the hotel or arena then unleash the Power of the Ponytail©.

  180. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    Mandrake (Panel #3) — The part of Mandrake is now being played by Smilin’ Jack’s former sidekick Downwind!

  181. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

  182. Edward F. Rochester
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    MT: What happened to Kelly Welly? I though she was out stalking Mark’s story again. She’s got to show up some time, maybe around this Friday or Saturday, maybe she will steal Mark’s dog from confinement and get arrested, or something. Something real exciting like that. Something…….

  183. AmazingThor
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Interesting fact: the football term “blitz” comes from the word “bliztkrieg” or “lightning war”, a tactic first used by the Germans in World War II. Derek Tolan comemorates this fact by giving a “Sieg Heil” salute every time he blitzes.

  184. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    FW: And here’s the official theme song of The Lisa’s Legacy Run Honoring the Martyrdom of Saint Lisa the Dead:

    If the rain comes they run and hide their heads/
    They might as well be dead/
    If the rain comes, if the rain comes …

  185. Scott Bot
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    GT – In panel 2, the referee congratulates Derek on a job well done while his teammate makes sure Derek’s head is securely attached to his body.

  186. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (Y#240):
    Thanks, Frank. I was wondering if anyone had noticed! A Magilla Gorilla Award (MGA) to you, sir!

  187. Some Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Honestly, I’m actually relieved that it’s not just us (and Margo!) and Clan Linski really is meant to be that creepy. (Mind you, I thought that when Lu-Ann questioned the proposal; it’s entirely possible tomorrow’s strip will have her congratulating him on such a romantic gesture.) But, for the moment, it gives me hope that the McQueens are meant to be completely insane. And maybe even that Gina is meant to be a disturbing obsessive.

    FW: Talking of things that would be much more palatable if I thought they were meant to be creepy… Here, however, I’ve lost all hope, much like the residents of Westview (“The Canceriest Place On Earth!”)

    H&L: Can you say “conceived” in the comics now?

    Spider-Man: It’s just now occurring to Que Serra Serra that announcing the future location of a wanted criminal on TV may not have been a huge help to him?

  188. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#Y240):
    But did you get the right number of bubbles on Gen. H.? ; )

  189. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    FW: The fund raising Les should be doing is getting rid of the “Love Canal” sludge heap area next to Westview.

  190. A New Day
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Not Just Any Dipstick (#47): Agreed. Also, I’m wondering why Carla looks so sad in the last panel. Ha Ha, just kidding! How else would she be allowed to look? Sad and smug are the only authorized emotions in this strip, and Les has claimed the smug quota for the next 175 years.

  191. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @AmazingThor (#183):

    Interesting Addendum #1 – And though the Germans pioneered the strategic concept, it was more out of improvisation than design, and the term ‘blitzkrieg’ was actually coined by their enemies to describe the experience of being on the receiving end.

    Interesting Addendum #2 – The football term “sack” does not allude to collapsing the pocket and putting the quarterback into a sack, but is instead a reference to “sacking” a city. “I’ma gonna sack that quarterback, and pillage the ball!”

  192. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#163): Well, I am wearing a pony tail today—AND a Fist o’ Justice t-shirt; what incredibly good-looking, international celebrity could resist that?

    @Scott Bot (#172): Bonus hilarity if one of them has to hide underneath one of those old-fashioned room-service push carts.

  193. A Woman of a Certain Age
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#172): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#192): Why am I having flashbacks about Lucy and Ethel? They’ll have some ‘splainin to do when they’re caught!

  194. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#192): They’d be a fool to try to resist. Resistance is futile.

  195. Alison
    September 27th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Cancer cancer cancer cancer!!! Strip: Cayla is so lucky. She gets to spend all her time hanging banners for shitty charity events in honor of the dead chick she will never, ever live up to. Somewhere, Susan must be crying her eyes out that she lost the battle for Les Moore’s heart.

    Momma: Francis needs to do the world a favor and step on his mom with one of those size 900 feet of his. One step and she’d be squashed like a bug. Hooray!

  196. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#192): bb,u, if you end up in a George Clooney/Stacy Keibler sandwich, THERE HAD BETTER BE PICTURES!!!!!

    in ‘mudge merch for bonus points.

  197. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

  198. Jason1981
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “but technically, blabbering isn’t telling. You should know since you blabber all the time, Luann.”

  199. pugfuggly
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    anyone seen archie out of context before? I hadn’t…

  200. Karmyn
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    I need a new site to read comics. Chron.com has been acting up too much lately. I hope they get their build page back.

  201. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#196): Okay, now I have some odd Clooney/Keebler Elf images darting about my brain.

  202. Nervous Newbie
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nervous Newbie (#176):
    “laughing at” FW the same way one would laugh at some poor but unlikable idiot who has just made an utter fool of himself obviously. I am not genuinely amused by it. Just wanted to clarify.

    @pugfuggly (#199): You have just made my day with that link!

    Also now that I can see today’s Ziggy I only wish that my prediction of murder was right.

  203. TheDiva
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#171): Only if we get to see every finger-breaking, genital-shocking moment of the torture he endures as such. It would be (and I say this without the slightest trace of sarcasm) the most entertaining feel-good story Funky Winkerbean has had in ages.

  204. Paul1963
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @cvk (#79):
    Especially since eight minutes of football takes about half an hour to play.

    Meanwhile, over in “My wife is dead!!” land: I’ve now been reading this smirk-and-misery-fest long enough to realize that the Lisa’s Legacy walk is going to be an annual frickin’ plotline in Funky. Reminds me of when I used to read the Washington Post back in the ’80s and Bob Levey would devote his entire column–for weeks in a row–to nothing but lists of donors to whatever charity drive he was involved in.

  205. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

  206. Joe Blevins
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    Hey, there!

    Are you a fan of bleepy, bloopy, repetitive electronic dance music? Sure you are! and today’s zomby cartoon is presented with YOU in mind!

  207. Chip Whittle
    September 27th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#199):

    anyone seen archie out of context before? I hadn’t…

    Archie has a context? Wow.

  208. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#201): little black dress or elf outfit, either way works for me.

  209. Terrapin
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @Edward F. Rochester (#182):Wouldn’t it be funny if this story ended with no further mention of Kelly? Like Elrod just completely forgot that she would be somehow involved and Kelly ends up in some kind of plot limbo? It could happen.

  210. Shrug
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#52):

    “Hi and Lois: I think it’s nice of Lois to have imaginary conversations with cardboard cutouts of herself. It saves her the trouble of paying attention to the baby. ”

    When I saw the strip in black and white in my morning paper, I was even more impressed by the strip featuring a same-sex couple talking about their plans for spawning. Unfortuntely when viewed online in color the cutout on the left does look a bit more masculine (or masculinish, anyway), so . . . “never mind.”

  211. Shrug
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Terrapin (#209):

    Has anybody here seen Kelly?
    K-E-double-L-Y.
    Has anybody here seen Kelly?
    Find her if you can!
    Her antics make us groan-e-o,
    Left Mark on his own-ee-o,
    Has anybody here seen Kelly?
    Kelly from the magazine!

  212. littlestevie
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: Isn’t Mark up in Canada? To get Andy into the country, wouldn’t Mark at the minimum have to show proof of Andy’s rabies vaccination and there may be a quarantine (Andy not Mark) as well.

    JP: Hohum story line, unless this guy is the Nomad from the Phantom.

  213. The Gringo Kid
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#211): Yes, she’s still penned up in Mother LBJ McQueen’s yard, waiting for Andy to return and let her out.

  214. Mr K Martin
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    Just in time for Halloween, the new “Gina, the Psycho Waitress” costume from THE MARY WORTH COLLECTION! Comes with glow-in-the-dark blue streaks in her hair, a creepy ponytail hacked off a real dead pony, a butcher knife, and terrifying glazed eyes that look they’ve watched “Fatal Attraction” 128 times! Guaranteed to scare the living crap out of small children and soccer players who have moved on with their lives.

    Also in stock: the “Creepy Old Marriage Proposal Guy” costume and the “Too Much Botox/Frozen-Faced Mary” mask. Frighten your friends!

  215. Terrapin
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

  216. Arabella
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Drabble: Questions for the two or three of you who read this strip — Why is Norman back to annoying Wendy again? What happened to Norma-the-perfect-girl-of-his-dreams? Was it all just a dream sequence or hallucination?

  217. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Two weeks from now, Gina’s going to end up with Ziggy, and she’ll cry out to an uncaring universe, “I said I wanted Bobby Black! Not some douche with a blobby back!”

  218. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#201): Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Clooney and Cookies with your hostess with the mostest, bourbon babe!

    Today’s topic, “merlot and macaroons: treating yourself while reading comics”

  219. The Ridger
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’m remembering that episode of Northern Exposure where Joel ended up talking to the Lamaze class, and he told them the most important thing to remember was these five words – and husbands, take notes, because your wife might not be able to get them out: I Want. My Epidural. Now.

  220. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

  221. AeroSquid
    September 27th, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    FW: Two years from now:

    Cayla: No Lisa’s Legacy thingy thing this year ?

    Les: That what, now ? Oh….THAT. I think we’ve pretty much squeezed the emotional juice out of that lemon. How about a Lisa’s Pizza Party or something. Funky’s drinking again and needs the money for lawyers.

    Cayla: So now it’s Funky’s Legal Defense Fund.

    Les: Yeah, Whatever. What year is this again ?

  222. mr12ozcan
    September 27th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    mark trail – mark has been known to punch out law enforcement before .dont worry you can escape on johhny marlettes fishing boat. plus how stupid are you deputy mcqueen if andy dug out once he can dig out again. the storyline as always is stupid but the more andy the better.
    mary worth- well gina you drink all that coffee for free but i doubt in the maryworth universe diner has unlimted long distance calling . im surprised you didnt have to speak to mertle the operater first.

  223. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#146): Well, they were regular old people, at least four of them, and the orientation of the restaurant is different. They were the side facing the street, but the menu board was the opposite direction.

  224. Mr K Martin
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#9):

    Yeah, Lisa’s Legacy is a real charity event, so I’ve heard. So no matter how obnoxious the strip is, you feel guilty for hating it because it’s fighting a bad disease, even though said disease probably won’t be cured. Lotsa flabby old characters trudging through dreary attempts at humor. Some younger faces appear, but can’t save it. Lots of cringe-inducing sanctimony which you feel obligated to respect.

    “Funky Winkerbean” is the comic strip equivalent of a Jerry Lewis telethon.

    God, I hope Les doesn’t sing “You’ll never walk alone”.

  225. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#224): This is why I discarded all guilt and shame from my self years ago. I can hate it without fear of self-loathing!

  226. Rixter
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    FW: Cayla has a real opportunity for her own fame as an author – she may well be able to write a moving tribute on the tragic death of her fiance Les by, oh say, a fatal injury from a fall from a ladder. Or maybe even a lightning strike. First the book, then the movie rights, and of course the annual Les’s Legacy Run.

    MW: Gina has dialed a wrong number and accidentally contacted the Mob. Why is she making long-distance calls on the diner telephone?

    FC: Will someone give the kid some rabbit “pellets” and shut him up?

  227. Cloudbuster
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#109): We call that “any day that ends in a y” in my pluggery neck of the woods.

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#Y234):
    I remember… what gave me the idea. Larson’s Far Side got swapped with a DtM, was one. I can’t remember the other. Used to have that book, but it seems to have left my space/time continuum.

  229. Cloudbuster
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#155): Dude, their bands are aluminum! Hello? ALUMINUM! You can’t start no tourist rush with crappy aluminum bible-verse-inscribed bird bands! Now, gold bible-verse-inscribed bird bands (maybe even if they’re only partially gold — admittedly that will really kill it for some people), that’s what it takes to really bring those tourists in.

  230. Dennis
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Why do I get the feeling that on their honeymoon every last one of Paul’s creepy relatives are gonna be right in the bed with them when he and Luann are trying to consumate their marriage?

  231. Uncle Lumpy
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#226):

    Lisa’s and Les’s Legacy Runs start from very different places, but the finish line is the same.

  232. Liam
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth-Sally’s hatred and desire to see Ralph’s destruction has not been seen since Ahab’s spat with a whale.

  233. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    I just found out that Marvin’s an amateur

  234. Mark B
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Boy, Mark is really going to be pissed when he picks up Andy and finds out that Mountie McQueen has cut out his tongue. He’s just crazy enough to do something like that, to keep Andy from spilling the beans. Whoever said that Canadians are nice is crazy. Michael J. Fox is a monster!

  235. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#233): I am not clicking that link.

  236. AeroSquid
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Mr K Martin (#224): While singing to Lisa’s bedazzled skull…….

  237. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#235): Now that I think of it, that’s a smart choice.

  238. Pseudo3D
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    Also, other people may have noticed this, but I think that Gina is the ugliest MW female character in a LONG TIME. Worse than “Flying kites will cure my technology addiction” Dawn, than “Dethroned Stalker” Liza, and more than “I’m a wedding planner but dress like a cheap hooker” Jill. Who’s with me?

  239. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Okay, this was an event-filled day for me, between work, having my ID badge taken for another gig, and a teeth-cleaning. So I didn’t keep up with the comics. Coming here to Comics Curmudgeon, I’m greeted with the surprising discovery that Andy is being taken as a political prisoner. It’s folk song writing time, people!

    I also see that Les is moping in the rain and taking his still-living fiancee for granted, but this doesn’t fall into the category of “surprises.”

  240. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#239):
    We shall bite his butt
    We shall bite his butt
    We shall bite his butt, all the way
    Deep down in my heart, I do believe
    We shall bite his butt. all the way.

  241. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#239): Dude! I had a cleaning today too.

  242. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#196), @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#201): And I have some even odder Jim Mooney/Gwen Stacy Spider-Man images darting about my brain!

  243. Peanut Gallery
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#109): For several Mark Trail strips in a row now, I’ve been thinking that as long I can read Mark Trail, I’ll never need to buy recreational drugs.

  244. This Guy
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#228): Yeah, my copy is 21 years old and not in great shape, but I looked it up: it happened with DtM twice, and once a newspaper printed a Far Side panel with the caption from the previous day’s Far Side.

  245. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#211):

    I hope you aren’t confusing K-E-double-L-Y with K-Y® Brand Jelly*. Because one makes people groan-e-o — and the other makes people moan-e-o.

    *Gentle, safe, and recommended by gynecologists

  246. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#241): Eerie. Bad day for tartar, too.

  247. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#243): Do you read Popeye? That’ll keep you drug free for a loooooog time.

    Or is it drive you to drugs? No. That’s Gasoline Alley.

  248. Peanut Gallery
    September 27th, 2011 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#247): Popeye satisfies all my “bizarre and creepy sexual innuendo” needs. Not that I had any.

  249. Poteet
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    MT — Josh, I apologize for going into conservation-geek mode yet again, but to the best of my knowledge, both the United States and Canada have systems that require people to get federal permits before they can legally band birds, at least native birds like Canada geese. And those permits require established levels of knowledge and training.

    Of course it’s possible that the McQueens actually have the required permits, or, as is much more likely, in the particular insane dimension of the universe in which MT apparently takes place, anyone who feels so inclined can trap wild birds, band them with religious texts engraved on precious metals, and then resume communicating by dog-note.

  250. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

  251. Sequitur
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#248): Ah! Then Popeye has been successful in its mission.

  252. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249): I nominate your second paragraph for COTW!

  253. Sgt. Stoned
    September 27th, 2011 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    MW: An old friend of Bobby Black? HA! HA! I’ll bet the “manager” never heard that one before! This is Gina’s “more direct way” of contacting Bobby?

    Wizard of Id: Well, since the Wizard is that “star” of the strip, and Sir Rodney a regular character, I guess the King is going to hand the poor guy in red operating the bulldozer, and he isn’t even laughing.

  254. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#249):
    Well it certainly is an alternate universe where Mounties wear their Stetsons and red tunics everywhere like Nelson Eddy in Rose Marie or Dudley DoRight on Bullwinkle. (And Dudley, was, at least in part, a non-singing Nelson Eddy parody). The RMCP stopped that in 1970, and as someone said earlier, they dress like regular cops now, except for ceremonial occasions.

  255. Frank Lee Meidere
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#186): I’ve actually used it in class to illustrate how blinded we can be to glaringly obvious errors in logic when concentrating on one particular element.

    But don’t think for a moment that this award will stop me from joining the revolt in 2100 to end your tyrannical reign. Until then, though — buds?

  256. Elk Meadow
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    How wonderful! Gina is leaving her current name and her former names, which Bobby (Now called “Rob”) will think are her married and her maiden names! And the receptionist doesn’t write “Jiminez” correctly, because I can’t even pronounce it. By the way, when was the last time she checked with the Federal Witness Program? Do they even remember her being in the program? Do they have a cute, rule-breaking officer who would think that she’s for him?

    Also, Retail has a great example of karma.

  257. Elk Meadow
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Speaking about the Federal Witness Program, did they get her that job at the coffee shop? Is that why she hasn’t been fired? Doesn’t she have any other clothes? Or money for a decent hairdo? Or shampoo?

  258. TheTJ
    September 28th, 2011 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    The next step in McQueen’s plot is to destroy the cabin Andy was in, just in case he left a message somewhere. He will then continue to collect every dog in town in case Andy spoke with them. After they’re all rounded up he’ll brainwash them into attacking their masters. With his new army of dogs he’ll be able to take out Mark and everyone else in the surrounding area.

    THEN he’ll be able to fiendishly strap messages to geese in peace.

  259. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 28th, 2011 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#255): Look, I still have to get through the primaries… but you must admit, it’s looking pretty good. Anyway, come on board, New Jerusalem will need good people who understand “hide the gorilla”. The Prophet rewards early adopters. And if you feel different in 80 or 90 years, we’ll discuss it then, buddy.

  260. Maggie the Cat
    September 28th, 2011 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Nice… the ball carrier is getting fisted. SURELY there’ll be a flag thrown on this move.

  261. Maggie the Cat
    September 28th, 2011 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail, the big screen adaptation with more inner monologue than you can shake a stick at, will star Ben Affleck or Jon Hamm as Mark. The part of Mountie McQueen will be played by a moustachioed Ryan Gosling. Young Tom Selleck will play CanuckCajun, Johnny Malotte. The dog from Beethoven will portray Andy.

  262. Droopy Says
    September 28th, 2011 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): If this goes on, you’ll be telling us that Jerry was a man.

  263. Carly
    September 28th, 2011 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    “Safety Derek Tolan Blitzes” – really? Because that looks more like “Safety Derek Tolan contorts his body in a way which reveals himself to be not so much human as an android masquerading as such.”

    I’m not sure what weird Dorian Grey thing is going on in Momma and it scares me a little.

  264. Droopy Says
    September 28th, 2011 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: I had no idea that stumbling into danger and getting hit over the head were great powers, but if that’s what it takes to amuse sick kids, go to it!

    Creepy Les: Of course the bland is used to performing in the rain. Storms drown out their noises. Its the secret of the band leader’s job security.

    Judge Snarker: Bubu may be the worst tail ever, but nobody wants to hear about the Judge’s private life. And has he considered the possibility that Bubu is a hit man who works for the Big Boss? Prepare to be humiliated, your honor!

    Pluggers: Pluggers are too genteel to pour a whole bag of fodder into their gaping mouths. They daintily cram the food into their maws one fistful at a time.

    Phantom: Let us rejoice in the dull, lifeless art, which helps distract from the dull, lifeless plot.

    Mock Trail So Trail goes up to Canada on a lunatic mission, gets bamboozled, loses his mistress and his dog, and generally gets humiliated by a guy who dresses funny. It’s like a Cliff Notes version of the War of 1812.

  265. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 28th, 2011 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#262): Space Cadet: You are a citizen of the galaxy, fear no evil. There will be time enough for love. Though the moon’s a harsh mistress, nothing ever happens on the moon. Vote Scudder in 2012

  266. Readem and Laf
    September 28th, 2011 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    MT Banding two migratory geese brought too much attention, so perhaps mother should stop using animals to communicate a desperate need for attention.

    Next up, we feed Andy tasty treat flavored soap bars which cause foam to spew from his mouth, proving he has rabies.

    Oh, we love animals so much here in the lost valley of lost forest. We’ll spread rumors about avian flu to keep away tourists.

  267. Mr. O'Malley
    September 28th, 2011 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    It’s funny to see Ginger Meggs, which (1921) predates commercial radio broadcasting in Australia (1923) laughing at radios for being old-fashioned.

    Ginger Meggs is OLDER than this strip and this one, which demonstrate that early radio was the equivalent in its day of many things from more recent times, like demonstrating to reluctant technophobes how easy it is to use a computer, “Somebody is wrong on the Internet”, last week’s Beetle Bailey, and there was one very much like reading TV Tropes, but I can’t find it.

  268. ann&I\'llbedamned
    September 28th, 2011 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#264): COTW 1812 LOL

  269. ann&I\\\\\\\'llbedamned
    September 28th, 2011 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    @ann&I\’llbedamned (#268): w/ apologies and/or admiration for Mr Lightfoot

  270. omegle turkiye
    September 28th, 2011 at 5:44 am [Reply]

    The RMCP stopped that in 1970, and as someone said earlier, they dress like regular cops now, except for ceremonial occasions.

  271. John C Fremont
    September 28th, 2011 at 6:08 am [Reply]

    @Carly (#263): “We can blitz if we want to,
    We can leave our friends behind,
    Because your friends don’t contort their bodies in a way which reveals themselves to be not so much human as androids masquerading as such,
    And if your friends don’t contort their bodies in a way which reveals themselves to be not so much human as androids masquerading as such,
    Then they’re no friends of mine.
    It’s the Safety Blitz. Oh, it’s the Safety Blitz.”

    @omegle turkiye (#270): Oh my God, they’re Turkiyes!!

  272. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 28th, 2011 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#267): Pinto Colvig… the guy pinto beans were named after!

  273. John C Fremont
    September 28th, 2011 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    MT – Graham Nolan’s pulling an Elrod today.

    SFx – I really miss Oh, Brother, but at least we still have Bonnie and Boo Boo. Not to be confused with Bubu Chibale, although a comic about a girl and her little brother with shady connections who clumsily follows a judge around town for no apparent reason might make for a confusing, yet entertaining, strip. Kind of like Rex Morgan.

  274. Pseudo3D
    September 28th, 2011 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#228): Yeah, it happened twice in one newspaper, resulting in some interesting DtM captions, like Dennis telling his father “I see your tiny, shriveled little skull–labeled and sitting on a shelf somewhere”

  275. Roy
    September 28th, 2011 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#187):

    A3G: I think we tend to underestimate A3G’s sophistication, granted it wouldn’t be hard, In the past couple of years there has been a possibility of actual character development looming, and in the past year it has almost happened. The problem is that things have to revert to the stasis the strip reached in the 70s. I suspect though that this will be strangled in the cradle.

    MW: on the same topic, I had stopped reading Mary Worth years ago, but recently reading this blog I started looking back and Karen Moy has done some really good work in making the strip what one on a good day might even call “edgier”. Gina is so heading toward a fall that I am both hoping and dreading that the moral of this little story is that you can’t hold on to childhood fantasies, and you have to move on. But I suspect this is not the case. If it was, the Men hitting on Gina at the story’s beginning would not have been so intentionally unsavory.

  276. AeroSquid
    September 28th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    BB: I’ve seen these ‘G-Pads’ at the Dollar Store. Right next to the ‘Whee’ and ‘Banjo Hero’. I was hoping Buxley and Blips were about to share a private joke about finding the ‘G-spot’, but instead got a comment about an app for incontinence.

  277. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 28th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @omegle turkiye (#270): That should be RCMP, of course. Did you know dyslexic blondes have more nuf?

  278. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 28th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#274): Hard to believe that wasn’t a deliberate jape – some stoner fooling around late night in the composing room – or whatever the digital equivalent was then. Probably their last night on the job, but it would be worth it, no?, to pull off a jeu d’esprit like that.

  279. Jason D.
    September 28th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#119):

    Indeed. The best type of parody name is one that almost, but not quite, sounds as if it could actually exist.

  280. Edgy DC
    September 28th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    The best part about Mark Trail is that he isn’t upset about Andy being quarantined, but apparently upset that he’ll have to pick him up afterwards.

  281. B
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “Look, my hand’s a plane! zheooooooooo…”

  282. Vince M
    September 28th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#274): My favorite had Dennis saying to Joey, sandwiches in hand, “Oh, brother, not hamsters AGAIN!” – mom looks on peevishly, probably about to say “In my day, we ate hamsters and we LIKED it, young man!”

  283. DaveyK
    September 28th, 2011 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Everyone’s Favorite Milford Football Player: Derek “You must be this tall to enter this ride” Tolan.

  284. Plag
    September 29th, 2011 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    M.T.: FINALLY, Kelly is back in the picture today! As things get tense inside the cabin between Mark and the RMP, Kelly is scheming for ways to meddle. The suspense is killing me!

  285. omegle
    September 29th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Dennis telling his father “I see your tiny, shriveled little skull–labeled and sitting on a shelf somewhere
    omegle

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