The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Tuesday quickies

Blondie, 7/10/07

Ah, the dilemma for lady-lovin’ comics readers: if you want to see a Blondie love scene, you have to put up with Dagwood foreplay.

Curtis, 7/10/07

I’ve been deliberately ignoring the Curtis-Michelle drama, as is my wont, but: damn if I don’t want to see this “puppeteer” and his be-afro’d, freakily big-mouthed “puppet” as often as possible. As a regular character, he could replace Gunk, as far as I’m concerned. Or Barry.

Dick Tracy, 7/10/07

See, here’s a strip that’s still got a few tricks up its sleeve. I think we all expected that the “Grandfather” in the tradeoff would really be Dick Tracy in disguise. I don’t think any of us expected that he would peel said disguise off of his face, causing the still-lifelike features to stretch and melt like some kind of peyote-fueled nightmare.

Mark Trail, 7/10/07

OH MY GOD SHE HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH HER FACE

Marmaduke, 7/10/07

And pooping, right? Don’t forget about pooping. You forget about pooping at your own risk. I’ve seen your yard; it’s not that big.

Zits, 7/10/07

Holy crap, is Walt smoking a blunt on the back porch? YOU ARE MY NEW HERO, SIR!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 08:47 am and is filed under Blondie, Curtis, Dick Tracy, Mark Trail, Marmaduke, Zits.

314 responses to “Tuesday quickies”

Ovalicious
July 10th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Who’s ever had a dog that DIDN’T like to take a walk? Come on. . .

Love, Val
Goaty
July 10th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

Seriously, MT is just messing with us now…..
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

At this point, I think Jack Elrod is just fucking with us.
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Jinx!
Weasel Boy
July 10th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

Zits: You’re a plugger if your strips rips off Pluggers.
The Great Ka-Floopa Gush
July 10th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Yay! The first thing I thought when I saw Zits, was “Is he on the pot?” I’m glad to find out that I’m not the only one.
Tats
July 10th, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Mark Trail’s really making that play for Best Cinematography, hey?
Splinky
July 10th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

All I know is that if Dagwood asks if he can wear the Jimmy Carter mask, I’m leaving.
Jennifer
July 10th, 2007 at 9:09 am [Reply]

I hate to break it to Curtis, but “karaoke” has nothing to do with puppets unless by “karaoke” he means, “foreign words that have been adopted into English without me understanding what the hell they mean and then making a fool out of myself by demonstrating same.”

What I *believe* he is referring to is what we here in America call “Open Mic Night.”
Mighty Sam
July 10th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

What would a town littered with Marmadookies look like? Probably something akin to scattering a few bags of unwrapped Tootsie Rolls on John Patterson’s train set.
Robert Whitaker Sirignano
July 10th, 2007 at 9:12 am [Reply]

I haven’t minded the ongoing CURTIS strips. At least the characters are consistant, not at all like Lynn J-ston’s “Put this person here to preach my ‘can we get along’ speech of the week.” Hell, Gunk is more interesting than Anthony. He’d be a better boyfriend to Lizardbreath.

If Blondie blinks, the foreplay is over. They haven’t had a kid since when?

Marmaduke is still a big dog. It’s like wondering “Who cleans up after Clifford?” Where’s the shovel? You need to wonder about M. owner. If you have a dog like Marmaduke, you need to have lots of money, because he goes through two cows a week.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

MT:

Sam: Federal aviation administrators will be at the airport tomorrow, to sit at desks and review flight logs and equipment maintenance schedules. There will be lots of reporters around to cover that! And when reporters are around is a perfect time to drive a truck to the edge of the runway and release birds without being seen.

Mark: You’re right, if voters could choose to spend a billion dollars to build a new airport in hopes there will be a few dozen fewer birds there.

Sam: Are you being sarcastic?

Mark: Are you?
Ben
July 10th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

I really hope that the puppeteer has a routine somewhere along the lines of G.O.B. and Franklin’s. That should make for an interesting week in Curtis.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

MT:

Sam: Federal aviation administrators will be at the airport tomorrow, to sit at desks and review flight logs and equipment maintenance schedules. There will be lots of reporters around to cover that! And when reporters are around is a perfect time to drive a truck to the edge of the runway and release birds without being seen.

Mark: You’re right, if voters could choose to spend a billion dollars to build a new airport in hopes there will be a few dozen fewer birds there.

Sam: Are you being sarcastic?

Mark: Are you?
Calico
July 10th, 2007 at 9:16 am [Reply]

MT – something funny’s just gotta be in that cup Mark is drinking from.
Sam’s optics are going to haunt me forever – maybe she’s a reincarnated dragonfly.

Dick Tracy remind me of a MAD Magazine parody from so many years ago – Dick is stalking the bad guy, whom DT hasn’t really seen up close, and then he finds his man and gets a close-up.
The last panel is Dick, weak-kneed and hurling into his Fedora, while another cop phones into HQ and says something like “Ol’ Mucous-Face got away while Dick was HEAVING, Chief.”
AAckTTpth
July 10th, 2007 at 9:18 am [Reply]

Those eyes… it’s hypnotizing… i must… i must… i must punch the facial-haired one…
Randy
July 10th, 2007 at 9:19 am [Reply]

Blondie: I don’t see a head or body attached to that hair. Either Blondie is throwing her voice into a wig to fool her unusually dimwitted husband, or Dagwood is sicker than I thought.
Ed
July 10th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Equally interesting to me about Dick Tracy is how he managed to shrink a foot in height to impersonate the Baron.
Chris
July 10th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

When did Dagwood start sleeping with E.T.?
Chan
July 10th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

MT: Dammit, now we’re going to have to get the makeup off the camera lens, and take the scene again after the bruises have faded.

Someone get me a replacement cameraman, and send this hack back to Kokomo.

So, which scene can we shoot in the meantime?
gkl
July 10th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

MW: Isn’t Dawn wonderfully accepting? Old people don’t bother her. Just ugly people.
Bootsy
July 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

JP: Raju’s back! He’s put on a little weight but c’mon! That’s Raju!

TDIET: Yeah, nature sucks. It’ll do it every time.

Reader’s Digest poetry boggles my mind. Well, I’m easily boggled. Perhaps they’d change the line structure of haiku to a 2-4-2 line length. Let’s try one, shall we?

old man
what a dickhead
shut up

Thank you. Veal! Week! Red Greenback!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

MT: Sam really needs to change blouses, or get that button replaced, so she doesn’t have to keep holding it closed.

And when I look at panel 2, all I can see is Michael Brandow, Esq.
Lettuce
July 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

I CHUCKLED AT BLONDIE! It wasn’t a full laugh, really it wasn’t, more like I swallowed the first Guffaw in an all-out-Gaffaw, thus stopping it. But it wasn’t fast enough because a chuckle got out there and I am SO SORRY.

Also, why doesn’t maraduke use the skateboards like skis? I don’t think great danes can physically stand like that — and certainly not maintain balance while being pulled on a neck leash.

Also, I didn’t know Marmaduke had a nickname. I wonder if we’ve thus learned why elderly, unmarried one-room school house mistresses in the 19th century were so fond of one-panel sight gags.

OH MY GOD, I’m thinking about MARMADUKE for longer than a ha’second! WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY BRAIN???!!?
rich
July 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

JP: Don’t trust her, Sam! It’s Reggie White’s sidekick in disguise!!
Pete
July 10th, 2007 at 9:29 am [Reply]

“It ain’t easy bein’ white”
“IT AIN’T EASY BEIN’ BROWN”
“All this pressure to be bright”
“I GOT CHILDREN ALL OVER TOWN”

I’ll bet Curtis’ “puppeteer” is gonna say some stuff Whitey just isn’t ready to hear.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Sorry for the double-post. Sam’s eyes made me do it.

Sam is barking at me! Telling me to double-post! Putting those “Page could not be found” messages on, in response to my first posting! The way she’s always fidgeting with her blouse button, teasing… I love her! I must obey!
Matt Ramone
July 10th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

(DT) GT – The letters in Gail Martin can be rearranged to spell:

Animal Grit

Tailing Ram

Migrant Ali

Mailing Rat

Any one of these could be foreshadowing to some insane, highly entertaining GT summer plot
AAckTTpth
July 10th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

I love the Silent Penultimate Panel Watch, but is there anyone doing post-ultimate panels? Seems like so many comics need one more panel.

Lesbian Week in the Comics:

Eve: Oh, Liz, that’s a nice bra. Can I take a closer look?

June: And I’m coming with you — just to help you relax, you know.

Sorry ’bout that. I’ll go wash my ~~eyes~~ mouth out with ~~ducks~~ soap.
Josh
July 10th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

#26 Pete — or African-American-y, for that matter.

Josh
Chris
July 10th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

Sam’s got eyebrows like that one-eybrowed baby who’s Lisa Simpson’s nemesis.

And ain’t it cute how ethnic characters in JP always sprinkle their otherwise flawless English with a bit of their native lingo, eh, amigos?

FOOB: The last couple of weeks have made me stabby in the extreme.
Little Guy
July 10th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

MT: Wrong pair, Elrod! Stop {MARGO!}ing with us!
Darkefang
July 10th, 2007 at 9:40 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo almost checked up on Luann at her studio once. What more could Ruby possibly expect?

What makes this accusation by Ruby so stunning is that it has seemingly rendered Margo incapable of even a single head bobble.

Archie: What are Betty and Veronica’s shoes made of, anyway? They’re so heavy that both girls are having a really difficult time lifting their feet. Of course, that sidewalk is pretty steep, so maybe their shoes are just precariously wedged into the crack in the sidewalk as they make a desperate attempt to prevent their inevitable plunge to certain death at the bottom.

BB: Sarge always struck me as being a pretty scrupulous guy. I’m sad to hear that he’s abandoned his principles for a few quick bucks. I guess he has to make money somehow, though. He has to buy the negatives of those photos Killer secretly took of him “punishing” Beetle in the shower.

Crankshaft: The best thing about this strip? No mention of cancer.

DT: To some people, it might look like this plot is drawing to a close, but they’d be wrong. In Dick Tracy, it isn’t the end of the story until someone is maimed or killed in a particularly brutal manner.

FC: You don’t want to be one of “them”?

I knew that Family Circus is pretty well-known for its pro-Christian views, but I didn’t have a clue about it’s rabid anti-Semitism.

Foob: “Best before” date? Best before Charles Schultz died, perhaps?

GT: Kaz is clearly not paying any attention to what Kelly is talking about, because his statement in panel two makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

I’d also like to point out that even though Kelly has 1970’s Charley’s Angels hair, it is the best example of real-life female hair in Gil Thorpe I’ve seen. Next, the McLaughlin third-grade art class should work on human earlobes.

JP: Hooray! Ethnic stereotypes!

One question, though: Who cast Al Roker as the Hispanic housekeeper?

MT: … blah, blah, blah blah…

EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!

blah, blah blah blah…

MW: “Yes, the age thing doesn’t bother me. Not in the slightest.”

Why this glass of blood tastes just as fresh as it would have if it had come from a 20-year-old.

RMMD: I wish every strip could be about June comforting Heather while both are wearing slightly askew robes.

S-M: Spider-Man doesn’t any more time for this interview. He has to get home so he can watch himself on TV for the next month.

TDIET: Grass seed gets planted in the spring, otherwise known as the rainy season. You say that some of the seed is washed away when you plant during the wettest part of the year? Shocking!
Lammergeier13
July 10th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Zits: If I had to deal with all the shit Jeremy’s parents have to deal with, pot just wouldn’t be enough. Walt’s probably just using the joint to ease the come-down from chasing the dragon with some sweet Lady H. He scored both drugs off of Weed, who lives a couple of strips down.

A3G: Oh, Ruby’s in for it now. It’s time for an old-fashioned Margo’s spite-and-ego-driven-SMACK-DOWNS!
Professor Fate
July 10th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

FOOB: Oh yes my dream as a teenager was to have a basement apartment in my parents house.

Right.

What the hell is it with Lynn and basements as dream homes? She has Grandthony in the Gimp suit with his palid and strange child chained to the playhouse in the basement and now April is being sent into a basement. And folks act like this is a good thing. It gives me the creeps.

FW: No no Lisa you don’t have to throw up anymore. We’ll be doing that for you.
Darkefang
July 10th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

So what exactly is going on in panel two of today’s Mark Trail?
It is the last vision a duck sees before it dies.
man behind the curtain
July 10th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

A3G — Ruby didn’t have to really know that Margo didn’t even try to open the door even though she was already there or that Tommie choked at the first hint of crisis totally forgot her nurse’s training. Just by looking at those two, she could deduce that they were totally self-absorbed and incapable of helping LuAnn.
Windier E. Megatons
July 10th, 2007 at 9:54 am [Reply]

Look, the bridge of Sam’s nose just had something really important to say.

The question is, what is the eye closeup supposed to represent? The fact that Sam has new eyes? The fact that she has eyes for Mark? The fact that Elrod accidentally zoomed way in instead of way out to an animal, like he normallly would do in a middle panel? The fact that he needs at least one panel a strip not to draw humans in, because he’s terrible at it?
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Apparently, Dick Tracy’s second poke with his cane expelled anough mysterious powder that the girl had to scream “grandfather” in protest. After all, no one likes to see a man get de-powdered by an old man.
Kip W
July 10th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

GT – “Mom used to call her a rock ‘n’ roll Carole King.” Reminds me of that guy we used to call ‘a country-western Charley Pride’ and the singer who was sort of ‘a classical Placido Domingo.’

Sidenote: The reprints Josh provides of “Gil Thorpe” are actually in full color! Their world is just that white!

FB – Here’s the eventual fate of strips that are taken over after the original creator shuffles off the coil: it gets meta and starts looking outside the panel at the reader (yesterday), or other strips, or playing games with the balloons. Next week, Fred will be playing games with the panel border, little dreaming that Winsor McCay did it better almost a century ago.

#36 (Darkefang) – Good one! I didn’t see it until I was previewing my comment.
man behind the curtain
July 10th, 2007 at 9:58 am [Reply]

MW — “Yes, the age thing doesn’t bother me. Not in the slightest. I just love hanging around men like you and Professor Chinbeard and excite them with their daughter and grandaughter fantasies. Just one appearance and my calendar, and bank account, is filled. How do you think I pay for my tuition.”
Squawk
July 10th, 2007 at 9:58 am [Reply]

Dagwood: “May I do it in my W.C. Fields voice? Because despite all this strip’s contrived concessions to modernity, this is still the 1930s, isn’t it?”
Dennis Jimenez
July 10th, 2007 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Speaking of ethnic stereotypes – I’d really like the CC to do another episode of “What they say, and what they mean,” sometime. The last one was really aces.

http://comicscurmudgeon.com/?p=260
stormsweeper
July 10th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Blondie: That W.C. Fields is quite the cad! I bet that Alexander is into those young Abbot and Costello chaps.

#35 You forgot Liz is in a basement apartment currently, as well.
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:02 am [Reply]

#38 – Windier, look at her eyebrows. they need to be tweezed. Not the de-unibrow tweezing or the cleaning-up-the-sides tweezing, but the thinning-the-eyebrow type to create a more attractive, less “somone-implanted-a-magnet-in-my-forehead-while-I-slept-and-then-I-fell-onto-a-bunch-of-iron-shavings” effect. Atleast it wasn’t Mark’s eyes.
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

Ever wonder what would happen if Margaret Cho wrote the comics?

“The adventures of Gwen”
Dave
July 10th, 2007 at 10:06 am [Reply]

Actually, my favorite feature of the Mark Trail strip is the forced perspective–in a clever visual effect, Mark’s hand is actually way way way behind him, and it only looks like he’s holding a coffee cup (that’s just the pocket protector).
King Folderol
July 10th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Curtis – I’m trying to imagine Eminem bringing out a puppet at the end of “8 Mile” to wow the crowd, and can see nothing but him getting beaten to a pulp, with some of the smarter members of the audience using the dummy to club him.

MT – OK, so thanks to Comics Curmudgeon, I’ve now spent the better part of two years learning to accept the fact that, invariably, every Panel 2 of Mark Trail has a talking turtle, or bird, or some kind of animal horning in on the dialogue. So, today, it’s just people talking? WTF Jack Elrod? You couldn’t even have the cup or the saucer say something? If you don’t have the animals or inanimate objects talk, what do I have to look forward to in life anymore?
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

/e takes a note; “Dummy as a club”
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

/e takes a note; “Dummy as a club”
AhClem
July 10th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

These are your eyes.

These are your eyes after a collision with ducks.

Any questions?
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

/e takes a note; “Dummy as a club…”
Tats
July 10th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

FOOB site: Cheryl from Rochester is my new hero.
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:11 am [Reply]

Stupid lag… Josh, please remove two of the three /e’s (pronounces slash-ee)
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 10:12 am [Reply]

A3G – Oh, I get it. Ruby’s here to offer homespun wisdom about not letting your friend nearly die from carbon monoxide poisoning. Sadly, this means this’ll be one of those points where Margo goes into hibernation. (In Margo, hibernation consists of going all Tommie-passive and thinking depressing thoughts about how not-nice she is. But remember, she always comes out swinging in the end. Margo, we love you.)

Archie – Okay, Archie’s using some kind of three-button trackball, and Jughead’s got a six-button Genesis controller…come on, ALGJU3K, you’re a machine, you ought to know what modern controllers look like!

BB – Cue the angry fan letters from the southern US bitching about how negatively the military is being portrayed in this strip. It’s perfectly okay to portray Sarge as a regular physical abuser of a scrawny, unmanly, NASCAR-skipping dirty hippie Commie type like Beetle, but if you dare to insinuate that there’s corruption in the military, by God, you’d better watch your back.

Crock – The wonderful thing about Crock is trying to imagine how these situations get set up before the strip starts. How, for example, did Crock and whatshisface wind up in a giant box in the middle of the desert, surrounded by bandits? The mind boggles. (On a side note, I love how the bandits always all look the same; it’s like they’re ninja in a kung-fu movie.)

Curtis – I’ve got to agree with Josh about the puppet. I love the Afropick in its hair. Also, with Kadeesha’s hair hanging over one eye, I can’t shake the feeling that she’s Leela from Futurama.

DT – Ah dammit, I wanted that to be the Baron, and then the CIA would send Dick home with a note saying, “sorry, Tracy, looks like we didn’t need you after all. Our apologies for dragging you out here.”

FOOB – God dammit, Lynn, we get that all teenagers are insufferable self-absorbed brats already! (As opposed to the adults, who are insufferable self-absorbed brats.) And moving from a bedroom to the basement does not count as “scoring an apartment downstairs.” (It’s called the Caine Maneuver.) Meanwhile, April appears to be wearing a corset and Eva’s transparent attempt to get an eyeful of April’s breasts goes awry thanks to the fact that she doesn’t know which side of the body breasts are located on. April, dear, just leave. You’re too good for a town with such a creepy population.

Garfield – made me laugh.

GT – I finally figured out who this guy is. He’s Stardust, the Super Wizard. Seriously, look at the head and tell me that’s not him.

H&L – You know, despite the occasional mention, I keep forgetting that Lois is in real estate.

JP – Guest-starring Eddie Murphy.

Lockhorns – Either Leroy has taken an unexpected violent turn and launched a missile at his house, or he doesn’t have the faintest clue what “countermeasures” are.

MF – And today, I find myself in agreement with Mallard. It happens, from time to time.

MT – The best part about panel two is how Sam’s eyebrows are clearly an afterthought, drawn on with a marker after someone pointed out that she’d look even freakier without them.

MW – “…if you get what I mean…”

MC – Each appearance of Maureen is like a ray of sunshine in a world of Funky Winkerbean.

NS – Why get married? Well, for a crass, hedonistic answer, how about regular sex with someone who keeps getting more practice with you and who has financial incentive to not mess around with someone else?

PBS – So surreal it’s beautiful.

RMMD – Each appearance of June in a bathrobe is also like a ray of sunshine in a world of Funky Winkerbean.

SFx – Cassandra’s human pirate doppelganger. It might not be as awesome as another Cassandra appearance, but I’m happy.

Edison Lee – does not realize that yes, it does. Moreover, why is “IRS” the punchline in half these comics? Has Hambrock had a run-in with the Revenue Boys in the past, or does he just get his jokes from Reader’s Digest?
Widdle Jeffy
July 10th, 2007 at 10:15 am [Reply]

“That’s ok Billy. Can you spell BUM?”
Nate Bush, Pirate PHD
July 10th, 2007 at 10:17 am [Reply]

Curtis: With the look on his face, and the fact the puppet is in the dream cloud, obviously, he wants the puppet to get it on with michelle and some old singer…. Hot stuff.
AirForbes
July 10th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

The puppet can replace Curtis himself, as far as I’m concerned.
Laura c
July 10th, 2007 at 10:25 am [Reply]

#40 – Kip – thank you for putting that into words. I kept thinking I was missing something in GT. I know who Carole King is and I know what rock and roll means, but the words together…they make no sense!

Could someone please explain Dawn’s relationship with Wilbur? Is she his daughter? His niece? His paid escort? Is he just letting her crash at his place in hopes of someday crawling into her bed?
Tats
July 10th, 2007 at 10:28 am [Reply]

55, commodorejohn: The only thing sunshine is good for in Funky Winkerbean is causing skin cancer.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

#60 Tats – True dat.
Josh
July 10th, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

#59 Dawn is in fact Wilbur’s daughter, though like Margo she calls often her parent by his first name to be cheeky. I have no idea where her mother is … presumably she fled her melon-headed husband and prematurely aged daughter in terror years ago.

Josh
Ran
July 10th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

When the kamikazi duck hit Sam he knocked her irises out. Now she stares at the world with twin black holes of despair.

Somewhere there is a dead duck with blue eyes.
Bobdog
July 10th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

MT – Sam clearly has her hand positioned where it is because all her dialogue is spoken in the same tone that you use when reciting the pledge of allegience.

I assume the extreme close up is a sop to this country’s health care system — does this look like a woman who was recently hit in the face and blinded by shattered glass and a vicious squadron of ducks and assorted water fowl? Hell no! We’ve got the best health care in the world! Do you think her eyes would look this way if we lived in CANADA or FRANCE? Take that you commie Michael Moores! USA! USA!
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Re: yesterthread –

Well, I missed that one completely [and a good thing, too!]. Anyhoo . . .

#60 Harry Paratestes —

A3-Geans! That must enter common usage.

#117 Squid Countess –

Gawrsh! (rubs cheek) And belated congrats on yesterthread’s yesterthread winning entry! As Josh noted, the summer (DT)GT drawing crew just came on board, so there may be some ‘splainin’ to do soon.

Poteet & fizzy logic – missed you both! Still do as I can’t get this geosynchronous orbit thing to work and we seem half a day apart.

Now, on to today . . . or should I say thisherethread? Nah.
Kip W
July 10th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Dagwood: “Can we do it Laurel-&-Hardy style tonight?”
Ren
July 10th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

MT: Sam might be trying to imitate the last few seconds of the Dramatic Chipmunk . Instead of laughing at the funnyness, I kinda cried a little…
Kip W
July 10th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Tricky Cad – (”It! AHAHAHAHAHA!”) ((Sorry, just having a Pop Art moment.)) I want one of those rubber masks that changes your entire body shape.

This one is almost as impressive as the one in “Billy The Fish” which, when pulled off, caused a naked chick who Billy had just been bumping uglies with to change to evil Gus Parker, complete with the heavy coat he never takes off. Not to mention the lead-lined rubber masks that used to fool Superman (”Hmmm… he’s wearing a mask, but it’s lined with lead, so I guess I won’t suspect anything!”) almost as well as running and hiding around the corner of a building.
fizzy logic
July 10th, 2007 at 11:17 am [Reply]

#65 – Hey gh! Missed you too! Unfortunately my work schedule is such that most of my snarking has to be done at night these days. And since we’re on different coasts, that makes it even worse – it’s like we’re on different continents (no, I didn’t say we were incontinent!). But I’ll try to check in during the day every once in a while (like today), and I’ll try to leave you a message every now and then at night for you to read the next morning. If there isn’t already ten thousand posts and everything is snarked out already.

I miss willethompson, too!
lesles
July 10th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

MT: SWEET HOLY MOTHERING … !!! … WHAT? … WHY?

why did you do that, jack? what have i ever done to you? sure, i took a few hours away from mark’s … adventures … to check up on the tour de france, but are you seriously going to tell me that warranted what you did. i admit i slipped, but even more nothing than usual was happening, and i didn’t think it would matter. and it was only a few hours human time. i didn’t think it would even register in comic time.

i’m just lucky i had my pants tucked into sturdy boots, today. that took me totally by surprise, and could have totally ruined the finish on the floors. there’s a lesson here, kids. never turn your back on elrod. sure, he may come across as a cute, harmless floating ball, but cross him, and he’ll swap ink for satan’s own dark laxative quiker than you can say “where’s molly?”.
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Today’s (DT)GT explained [summer edition] –

Well, the dialog guy got it all wrong, but it’s only his second day so we can cut him some slack. Clearly, panel 1 shows us Coach That Guy at his new temp job as summer school bus driver. He’s just picked up his first rider. She says: “Those are lovely earrings! Do you know where I can get a pair?” Panel 2 shows them shopping after school as their love of fine jewelry brings them closer together. She: “By the way, my name’s Gail. Gail Martin.” He: “Why, it’s been super shopping with you. I hope we can get to know each other better.” Panel 3 is his thought balloon immediately after.
Tabby
July 10th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

#53 Props to Cheryl & how’d that get posted on there, anyway??
Katherine
July 10th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

The extreme close-up of Sam’s eyes is clearly inspired by this post: http://joshreads.com/?p=1145

I can just hear Elrod saying “Numb, soulless look? Enormously dilated pupils? I’LL GIVE YOU ENORMOUSLY DILATED PUPILS!!!!”

Evidenly, Elrod is a loyal reader!

Incidentally, I drove through the Mark Trail Wilderness in North Georgia not long ago, and was disappointed by the lack of enormous talking animals.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

62 – Dawn! Then this is the same Dawn who was attracted to that sleezeball computer techie whom Toeby hated and warned Dawn about, in the great film noir performances of Mary Worth.

This has probably already been noted many times within the thousands of comments I’ve missed in recent days. But it has to be said. Because, umm…I like remembering the film noir. And thinking of Dawm chasing boys.
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

#69 fizzy logic

Look at me! I’m in orbit! Just bring on the fizz, day or night. And willethompson is indeed deeply missed. I have it on good authority he’s busy refining his buffalo wing recipe.
concrete_d
July 10th, 2007 at 11:27 am [Reply]

Curtis: THAT IS NOT KARAOKE GET YOUR DEFINITIONS FROM THE DICTIONARY NOT FREE ASSOCIATION
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 10th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

This is at least the second Curtis where C’s whole face puckers as Michelle talks about Kahdeesha’s big butt. I guess when you’ve got that kind of visual at your disposal, it’s hard to resist.
gump worsley
July 10th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

For what it’s worth, I’m now convinced that a key part of Jack Elrod’s writing style consists of — in the moments after he comes up with a story line — asking himself, “How long can I drag this out for?” and then doubling whatever his initial answer is.
Perky Bird
July 10th, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

# 77 re Curtis:
Do you suppose Curtis is actually getting really, really turned on by Kahdeesha and Michelle’s bitch-fest, so much so that he’s involuntarily and spontaneously making his “o” face (if ya know what I mean…)?
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Credit Where Credit is Due (Very Rapid Skimming Edition, Alas):

Yesterthread Onandonanon: As the originator of “yesterthread” I am sorry that the term led to bad feelings. I think the reason it has caught on is that we live in different time zones around the world, so we read things at different times, and it’s helpful to have a term that denotes an expired thread. Josh, you are awesome.

Yesterthread Benicillin: feeling better and more loved, I hope?

51 Ah Clem: I have been reading the comments and I saw Sam’s eyes, and I must say your snark here actually explains it all.

And to all drunken ramblers: I LOVE drunken ramblings.
fizzy logic
July 10th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

#75 – gh – Of course with sentence structures like the final one in my first paragraph, you all could do without me…. (That’s what preview is for, idjit! *hits self in head*). But I’m addicted to this place and you people, and you all bring a smile to my face, even if the comics don’t.
rich
July 10th, 2007 at 11:37 am [Reply]

The age thing doesn’t bother Dawn Weston — a tall glass filled with the sweet, cold blood of sacrificed children helps her to maintain that youthful glow.
Kate
July 10th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

FOOB: I can’t be the first one to have brought this up. But in my shuddering flashbacks to the Granthony/Liz tonsil-hockey, I realized that not once did Liz say “But, wait, what about your date?” Presumably she didn’t know they were just friends. But that didn’t matter. She skeezed on in and started slurpin’ on the saliva surf.

I just grossed myself out. Bye.
the foob king
July 10th, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

BEST. ZITZ. EVAR. I have now promoted “blunt with Walt on the back porch” to the list of “fictional people I’d like to smoke up” — right ahead of Jeffy & Dolly on the 4′ bong, and right behind of “medicinal joints with the entire cast of Funky Winkerbean” — mostly because I know it can’t cure them one bit. Free pot for me!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

Bravo, Darkefang @ 36. Well played!
smacky
July 10th, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

From the FOOB site:

I just wanted to thank Lynn for her wonderful series on Shannon Lake. Our 1-year old daughter was just diagnosed with epilepsy. She will face many of the same challenges, and lack of knowledge, that Shannon’s classmates demonstrated about her condition. Unfortunately, people fear the unknown, and react the way Lynn depicted.

I hope I can show our daughter the series of strips when the time comes, and let her know she can handle the discussion of her epilepsy with her classmates in a very positive way (and stand up for herself as well).

Jennifer C, Warwick RI

I’m torn between wondering how angry I’d be if I was a young teen and my parents showed me the Shannon storyline and said “See? This is you!” and wondering if the child in question will learn to “stand up for herself” by making speeches in the cafeteria from atop a table.
D.A.Pennington
July 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Smacky I’m just as concerned if my parents showed me the strip and said, “This is you, the HOO boy.”
D.A.Pennington
July 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Smacky I’m just as concerned if my parents showed me the strip and said, “This is you, the HOO boy.”
ralph
July 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

1, yes indeed. The Marmaduke artist must not have a dog since he or she clearly doesn’t like dogs, or understand them.
Amanda
July 10th, 2007 at 11:53 am [Reply]

I have only one thing to say about FAA agents in Mark Trail: FAA LA LA LA LAA LA LA LA LAA!
ralph
July 10th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

An added thought for Marmaduke’s owners: Folks, it’s never too late to take your dog to Local Dog Obedience University.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Why doesn’t Mark Trail just look at the security camera tapes of the airport perimeter, to see Buzzard unloading his birds?

Where is airport security, when you need them? Maybe some journalist will protect the airport, while writing a story and watching a young woman twiddle her button suggestively.

These are homicidal maniacs he’s up against. They were nonchalant about nearly killing Mark and Sam. County commissioners trying to cause plane accidents! Doing a heckuvajob, guys.
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

#80 The Divine O’F –

Per yester-yesterthread # (mumbles incoherently): All the Stones songs are yours by default. You can put them on eBay if they displease you. And I’m glad the moniker sticks. I’d hate to come in one day and not be able to find you. Apropos of yesterthread (the concept), those of us who know its origin are a little … protective. What next? No more “curminions?” Which segues nicely into

#81 fizzy logic –

Your final sentence reminds me of what I said many moons ago: It’s the funnies people! What are we here for if not to entertain each other? Because god knows the pros ain’t doing it. As for that first paragraph final sentence @ #69: it’s the thought that counts. And counts, and counts, and . . . .
MossMoses
July 10th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

Augh! Yet more spanglish in JP. It was bad enough in 3-G but now it’s spreading and can’t be contained. Next thing we know, Carlos Alora will show up at the pool party…
Trotzenbonnie
July 10th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

GT – As Aldo Kelrast wanders the streets of Central City looking for an Orange Julius stand after his evening jog, Bob and Kelly ponder the significance of the musical extravaganza they are about to witness–the first performance in twenty years of Gail Martin, whose vocal styling is a redundant reminder of a woman who hasn’t had a hit in thirty-six years. Who is her opening act–a washed up lounge singer billed as the “bubble gum pop” Neil Sedaka?

(And I love Carole King so put away your shurikens…)
RI Red
July 10th, 2007 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

Inre #86

I am afraid that lunchrooms in Rhode Island are speech free zones. If you go back to a bit:

link

You would find that Shan…non would be in deep shit for taking to the sermon of the lunchroom.
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

93 gh: Thank you. And now a small disquisition:

Josh’s yesterthread post has gotten me thinking about passion and the comics. He says he unabashedly loves Gil Thorp, and he does seem to care about it to the extent that he knows the characters’ names and can tell them apart, but I don’t believe there is any real passion there. Contrast Josh’s interest in DTGT’s bizarre plotlines to the passionate negative feelings so many Curminions feel toward FOOB and Funky. Especially with FOOB, it’s clear that it’s a feeling of betrayal by a once-loved or admired comic artist. It’s a “we could not hate FOOB so much if we hadn’t once loved it” sort of thing. The same thing seems to be true to a lesser extent with Funky. But I see very little passion here for any of the other strips (except for Cathy, which may be a special case.). We make fun of MT, MW, SM, DT, and DTGT, but with no strong feeling. Despite what Josh says, I tried to imagine even having a strong feeling toward Gil Thorp, and I simply can’t. It is so poorly drawn and so poorly written that it seems to me impossible to really care what is going on in it. /Disquisition
smokie
July 10th, 2007 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

If Walt is smoking anything at all, he shall soon be slammed in jail, for I was under the impression that the toon, like it’s artist, hails from Ohio- the land where the smoking laws are so broad and poorly defined, your restaurant can be shut down if you burn a pizza by accident.
Chat Noir
July 10th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

A3G: I have three roommates. I haven’t seen one of them in two months and I resent Ruby’s implication that sharing a bathroom and a kitchen with someone means I’ve got to do anything more than sniff the upstairs hallway every now and then for rotting corpses. So, I understand Margo’s outraged look, as I made a similar one. Of course, my eyes don’t glow and shoot death rays at all who dare cross me, much to the impediment of my world domination schemes.
ohyes
July 10th, 2007 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

MW: Dawn’s thought bubbies – thought bubbles, did I say bubbies? – are so much more perky and fun than Vera’s. If Drew’s a playa, he’s gonna go for the younger woman with perkier thought bubbies.

But why think that Vera is older than Dawn? Vera just seems much older, because of the incest and repression.

Those are more good reasons to prefer Dawn.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

#97 The Divine O’F – Clambake, lady! Clambake! What’s not to love?

Seriously, I know I, for one, absolutely love every absurd twist and turn of A3G’s confusing plots (it’s a ghost! It’s an artist ghost! It’s a homicidally insane artist ghost! Oh wait, it was carbon monoxide all along!) as well as the crazy non-sports-related stuff in Gil Thorp (Clambake, “I have breast cancer oh wait no I don’t,” whacking oneself with a barky stick for…some purpose or other.) Mary Worth is more hit-and-miss, but when we get an Aldo, it’s brilliant. Judge Parker drags on, but…Abby. Rex Morgan is so hilariously dirty it defies description. So…no, there really is love around here.

FOOB I hate with an unbridled passion, though.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

#1: I have a dog that doesn’t like going for walks. He’s a corgi, and he’s fat. Actually, his shape is something like that of a giant haggis. And his short subby legs are just barely long enough to keep his belly from dragging. So yeah, he doesn’t like walks. But we make him go anyway, cause dammit, he’s fat.

Curtis: I think that is Franklin from Arrested Development.
t.a.m.s.y.
July 10th, 2007 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

So wait, this whole time Clambake was just Dick Tracy in a mask? Finally it all makes sense.
Echo
July 10th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

FOOB — First, April needs new friends. Second, I knew a couple kids who lived in the basement as teenagers. They could do anything they wanted down there. The living in a basement thing was an extension of their parents’ neglect and desire not to have to deal with them too much. Being teenagers, they tended to enjoy the freedom, but also see right through the reasons for it and understand that their parents/stepparents (there were always stepparents in this equation) didn’t give a damn about them. Also, there’s no sunlight down there. The Pattersons are just plain evil, and this strip gets more disturbing by the day.

As for that letter, that poor baby! Her parents know NOTHING about epilepsy! And they’re using a comic strip, and a terrible comic strip at that, to envision what their daughter’s life will be like — and not realizing that epilepsy is nothing like retardation. Not only does the strip itself make me nauseous, the people who enjoy it are now making me nauseous too.

Marmaduke — Actually, my dad’s girlfriend has a dog who hates walks. She was abused as a puppy and is terrified of bikes, cars, and random twigs snapping. I can usually get her to go on about a third a “real” walk before she sits on her butt and refuses to go one step further, but with anyone else, she usually won’t go more than a block. This means when walking the three dogs, we get to turn around and put the scaredy one back in the house while the other two, especially the old Pomeranian, wait impatiently to go on a hopefully long walk. That Pomeranian can go longer than any other dog I’ve ever known.

MT — Those eyes lead to hell, don’t they?
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

101 commodorejohn: I hear you. But… I think you’re settling, dude.
Tweeks_Coffee
July 10th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

#86 – smacky: I’m just a little disturbed that people (besides Lynn) think this is how the world actually works. “Handle the discussion”? By standing up on a lunch table and lecturing your fellow students. Good luck with that, kids.

#92 – ohyes: Clearly Homeland Defense has failed this airport. Perhaps another wetlands draining is in order?

#53, #72 – That letter from Cheryl is a good read. I sense quite a bit of CC in there though, anyone want to claim it?
queek
July 10th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: I lol’d. Even before the oaky jokes started flying.

MG&G: clever. not timely, but clever.

Speedbump was wonderful today.
Crooked Soricidae
July 10th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill
Please don’t take him just because you can
Your beauty defies compare
With tangled locks of brunette hair
With pasty skin and eyes that are sclera free
Your smile is like a sign of hell
Your voice is harsh like bitter pain
And I cannot compete with you, Sam Hill

He talks about you in his sleep
there’s nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Sam Hill
Thanks to D. Parton and her “Sam Hills”

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don’t know what he means to me, Sam Hill

Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill, Sam Hill
Please don’t take him just because you can
Trotzenbonnie
July 10th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

#97 – The Divine O’F
True dat re:FOOB.
My dad and I used to start every conversation with “Did you see FBOFW today?” I can’t remember the last time we even mentioned it. I will be the first to admit that many of LJ’s strips made me cry and, as it got older, the artwork evolved into something truly remarkable. So it is painful to watch FOOB disintegrate into the soul-less mess it has become.
I wouldn’t call my interest in Gil Thorp passion–it’s just such a train wreck that I have to look – much in the same way that I had to sneak into all of the freak show tents at the circus when I was a kid. So Gil Thorp is kind of like that five-legged cow or the woman wrapped in a garden hose who was billed as the Snake Lady.

Speaking of hoses…..I read TDIET today and I was just wondering, when do people run out of hose water?
Calico
July 10th, 2007 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#100 – MW = Mud Wrestling
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

#105 The Divine O’F – Howdya mean?

#104 Echo – True, true. Ten bucks says the parents show the kid the strips when he/she hits ten or so and say, “see? You’re just like her; the epilepsy puts ellipses in your sentences.”
Ginger Yellow
July 10th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

I suspect there will be an apology with tomorrow’s Mark Trail for the random insertion of a panel from the new Attack of the 50 Foot Woman comic.
Robert Whitaker Sirignano
July 10th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

So, on CURTIS, we’ll see the soul version of SOAP’s Chuck and Bob?

Hope so…

Smacky:
Epilespy isn’t like having cleft palate or no nose. What was quoted in that letter you clipped and pasted was some of the sludgy snot loaded kleenex that Lynn gets that makes her so sure her strip is still on the mark.

Boo Hiss.

It made some people feel good or hopeful. I know that. But it isn’t realistic or true to the world as it is.
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

#97 The Divine O’F –

An Even Smaller Disquisition (barely)

Something you said reminded me of what I’d written among the 6 pages I threw away yesterday, so I fished them out of the trash and they were torn up and I’d spilled Coke on them but when I pieced them together I realized . . . they were totally incoherent. One bit did make sense though: I’ve never loved nor hated FBoFW or FW, but I have come to be repulsed by them. Had I ever loved either, I can see how I would now hate the betrayal they have become. Now, as for passion. Maybe that’s too strong a word, but I never, ever used to read Slylock Fox (it’s in my paper) because it was a stupid kid’s comic drawn for an audience of 5 year olds. But Josh has shown me the light and I LOVE it. I do a little dance every time I see a fish skeleton. I would sincerely miss it if it went away. Conversely, I’ve have read GT for years (also in my paper) and, while it’s always puzzled me, I had no strong opinion one way or the other. Actually, I still don’t, so I guess you were right. Never mind.

But now it makes me laugh!
AAckTTpth
July 10th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

111 – Ellipsisy?
AAckTTpth
July 10th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

111 – Ellipsisy?
Krauthead
July 10th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Yeah. Shove the snotty, spoiled brat teenager in the basement. That’s what parents do when they don’t like you and don’t want to deal with you.

Foob used to be a wonderful comic strip. Now it’s nothing but a stinking, festering, squalid train-wreck from hell.

And what the fuck was that Shan-non doing step-ping up on the ta-ble and giv-ing a-a spe-ech?

Either kids in Canadian schools are very nice, or Lynn doesn’t remember what school was like, or she just sees the world through rose-colored glasses. In my school, Shan-non wouldn’t have gotten out ten words before she would have been pelted with food and jeered at. GOD that Lynn is a pathetic idiot.

Piss Off and Die, Lynn.
AAckTTpth
July 10th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

And auto-echolalia
ElSanto
July 10th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

#97 – I don’t know if the snark directed at FOOB necessarily translates to passion. I think it may be because FOOB is the easiest target. Plots are quite treacly, the author is — compared to her counterparts — very outspoken, and then there’s that whole thing with the characters blinking on the official site.

I’ve never really been a fan of FOOB; it’s just sorta been there in the paper, and I never gave it any more importance than, say “Rose is a Rose” or “Baby Blues.” However, I got directed to this site from the politically incorrect Somethingawful.com forums, where they are currently on the fourth “For Better or For Worse” megathread. Over there, they snark on the strips and do some insane photoshops. A certain fireman gets incredible play. I can almost assure you that the typical Somethingawful.com forum members are not past or present FBOFW fans.

And there have been attempts to try to photoshop and snark on other strips. Luann, with the its odd brother-in-Iraq storyline, is starting to rise. A hippie strip called “Minimum Security” gets jeered at, too.

But in the end, nothing … nothing … is more fun than mangling a good-ol’ FBOFW strip. Because the current plot lines are really that incredibly ludicrous. And that, more than anything, may be the root of the much of the FOOB heckling.
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

111 commodorejohn: see Trotzenbonnie’s 109 on DTGT. Ogling a train wreck or attending a freak show–even if you really, really enjoy doing those things–is not the same as feeling passionately about something. IMHO, of course. YMMV.
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

117 ElSanto: Good points, all. But we’ve had some great photoshopping and snarking of other strips here. I maintain that the bile directed at FOOB is born of passion, not snarkitude.
Benicillin
July 10th, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

(cough)
sonneta
July 10th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#53, #72, #106– Those comments are from someone at a FOOB-specific snark site (binky_betsy on LJ).
Mibbitmaker
July 10th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

MT: “Dammit, Jack, you got your camera lens in the shot in the last panel! Just forget the ultra close-ups from now on, dipstick! (You did fine, hon’. I know it’s hard playing both Sam and Cherry, but you shouldn’t have your eyes scrutinized by the DOPEY AUTOGRAPHED CAMERA like that — YEAH, YOU, ELROD!! Get ready for take 2, Shirley)…okayyyyy… ROLL ‘EM!”
Tweeks_Coffee
July 10th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

I guess it’s worth noting that whole Shannon’s speech saga was taken from an actual event…

http://www.fborfw.com/features/shannon/index.php?page=speech

Though also worth noting is the fact that this was done in front of a single drama class, hardly an accurate cross-section of the school’s populous.
Zamboni_Rodeo
July 10th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

A3G: Margo: “Now wait just a head-bobbing minute here, you brassy-haired, Southern-fried interloper! I went by–well, thought about going by–LuAnn’s studio at least once; that’s got to count for something. It’s not like we’re married! And before you get too comfortable here, you should know that you may be Queen of the Cow Pies back home in East Armpit, but I do all the finger-pointing around here. So just back off!”
Ruby: (pause) “Maggie, kiss my grits!”

‘Shaft: Is that an Oki merlot?

Mutts: No, no, no. In Yellowstone, the question is, “Where’s Boo-Boo?”

PBS: Yes.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

#125 Tweeks_Coffee – Hmm, I guess we need to stop being angry at Lynn for patronizing the disabled in that storyline.

Being angry at Lynn for patronizing the disabled everywhere else in her strip is still in, however.
Katherine
July 10th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

dammit, y’all, I live in my parent’s basement! doing so enables me to pay for grad school.
Kronkina
July 10th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

#125 Tweeks re: Shannon’s Speech. Here’s Kronkina’s 2 cents:

I agree that a single drama class is “hardly an accurate cross-section of the school’s populous.” Further, I would wager that this was in a very controlled environment. i.e. the teacher or whoever was in charge told the class that Stephanie (is that her name?) had something to say, so listen up. Naturally, after that, the class would provide a spattering of applause and tell Steph how great her speech was. However, as has been pointed out here on numerous occasions, THIS.IS.NOT.WHAT.WOULD.HAPPEN.IN.REAL.LIFE.IN.THE.LUNCHROOM.

As written, Steph would’ve been crying after that speech, not basking in her own glory. I think the fact that she and a friend wrote it is evident.

Little friendly advice, Lynn? Don’t let a ‘tard write your strip.
AirForbes
July 10th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

#115 – At my high school, some kids would have tracked her down after lunch and beat the #@$# out of her for good measure, special ed student or not. Not to mention she would have had detention for her little table-dance in the cafeteria.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

#128 Katherine – Living in basements is perfectly okay. We’re just pissed at Lynn for her “you should be happy being forced into a cramped little house due to your parents’ thoughtlessness because there are other injustices in the universe” argument.
Kronkina
July 10th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

#128 Katherine – That’s different. April doesn’t have a choice, and its more that everybody in the strip keeps telling her to shut up & quit complaining than the fact that she may end up living in the basement.

BTW, I think its awesome you’re going to grad school.

Girl power!
Mibbitmaker
July 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

BBailey: Sgt. Snorkel, aka Sgt. Bilko

A3G: Ruby, hon’, I love ya an’ all, but that look on Maggie -uh, Margo’s face? I’ve seen that exact expression on Katchoo from “Strangers in Paradise” once. Trust me, this will not end well!

SF: Hilary Forth, meet Mallard, Scott Stantis, Wiley, G.B., Edison Lee, Bucky Katt, Brooke McEldowney, Thorax, Danae…….

S-M: Please, somebody slap Jameson!… Yes, again!…

FC: I’m not a gastroenterologist, but…

Mutts: Molly doesn’t understand the cat’s curiosity.

Nancy: Molly doesn’t understand why Nancy’s going around in circles.

FOOB: Gee, Blanthony’s kid’s trapped in a basement, April got stuck in a basement, Liz has an apartment in a basement, now April has a new room — in a basement! This strip is all about debasement these days, isn’t it?
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

Addendum – Also, it reminds us of Lynn’s creepy basement fetish.
Katherine
July 10th, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

131, 132

Thanks, y’all. For some reason the whole living in the basement discussion was making me mildly paranoid! It’s been that kind of day, I guess.

And yeah, I don’t get that whole “April is a selfish spoiled baby” thread that’s been going through the strip. I’m a returned peace corps volunteer, so I know first hand that lots of people have it rougher than me, but that doesn’t stop me from bitching when life is rough, you know? It’s all relative!
Kate
July 10th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

135 Katherine: Yo Katherine, a Katharine here. I woulda been pleased to live in a basement during grad school, instead of where I did live — next to a graveyard where I had to chase someone away from my door with a knife. Good choice on the basement, dude.
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Snark… I want to snark… but I just can’t. Today’s comics are all self-snarking.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

#135 Katherine – April is a selfish, spoiled baby because her (quite mild and perfectly understandable) selfishness violates the Will of Lynn. If a character’s self-absorbedness is in harmony with the Will, it’s perfectly okay – for example, if Liz is mad at Warren for actually having a job and letting work come before play. But if someone like April, already the red-headed stepchild of the strip despite being more likeable and having more personality than anyone else in the cast, dares to wish for something contrary to the Will, they’re horribly self-obsessed (in a bad non-Michael way.)
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

I feel a little bad now for snarking so much on the Shannon-stands-on-the-table storyline now that I’ve learned Lynn’s niece Stephanie helped to write it.

However, as others have pointed out, a planned speech in a drama class is a different type of animal from an impromptu speech in a crowded cafeteria.

If Shannon had stood on a table to make that speech in my high school cafeteria, I’m not sure that other students would have thrown food at her and shouted rude names, as others have remarked. Some of the meaner kids might have, I guess. But the best response that could be hoped for would be awkward silences and embarrassed throat-clearing. Maybe some of the most conscientious students would have half-mumbled something like “Yeah, some kids give Shannon a hard time and that’s really mean.” There certainly wouldn’t have been a spontaneous outburst of raucous applause and woo-ing from the entire student body.

Like I said, I feel a little bad now knowing that Stephanie helped to write this storyline. But the fact remains, it was a little jarring to read because it was so unrealistic and unsubtle. Look, I’m totally in favour of increased empathy and understanding for those who are developmentally delayed. But that doesn’t necessarily mean the way to do that is to get a developmentally delayed person to write your comic strip or novel or song for you. From the point of view of the craft of writing, that’s how you get clumsy inconsistency and abrupt change of voice. I mean, I love children, but I don’t let them make their own dinner if they’re just going to have eight candy bars.
Remus
July 10th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Joe Gialla clearly models his women’s hairdos from the Star Wars figures in his living room. I mean , how is Dr. Drew all hot for this girl whose hair is molded to the side of her head like Han Solo?

(Pre-Carbonite, but just)
Katherine
July 10th, 2007 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

136 — you’re right, a basement is much better! and it’s better than the toad and fruit bat infested adobe hut where I lived in Peace Corps too. I should email LJ and tell her that….
Krauthead
July 10th, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

119 ElSanto: Good points, but I think the hatred of FOOB is much deeper than that. Lynn is a 60-something year old mother who portrays the lives of Mike, Lizardbreath, and April the way that thier parents want them to be, not what really is.

There are a lot of people who have read this comic for years and can identify with some of the characters………mainly, Mike and Lizardbreath. People feel that Lynn has betrayed them by taking foob down a road to malaise and mediocrity, not to mention that her subtly-racist and anti-femist views have pissed a lot of people off.

For instance, one only has to look at the whole nausiating Liz/Blandthony drama. How many young women have their mothers pestering them: “Oh, Lizzie dear, that Anthony is such a nice, polite man! Steady, dependable, and stable. That’s what you want, dear……..he’s a rare fish in a large pond full of characters that I don’t approve of and men that you should avoid at all costs!”

Lynn doesn’t know the first damn thing about attraction. “Nice, dependable and stable” translates to one thing: B-O-R-I-N-G which is the kiss of death for a guy trying to hook up with a woman. Believe me, women would rather be with the unpredictable, mysterious outlaw biker because he’s much more fun!

After years of marriage (assuming that your ‘rents are still together), your mothers have forgotten what is was that attracted them to your dad in the first place. Hint: it was not “nice, dependable and stable”….

“Nice, dependable and stable” may work fine after you’ve had kids, you’re both worn down from taking care of them and both your souls have basically died and you’re trapped in a rut of routine boredom. But it doesn’t spark that initial attraction.

In her own twisted but subtle way, Lynn puts forth the notion that the parents are always right and that their adult children should always bend to what thier parents want. Lizardbreath went out into the world, had fun, lived on her own, had some adventures, dated her various boyfriends, but now it’s time to move back to the parents’ town within a stone’s throw of the nest, settle down, marry the “nice, dependable and stable” childhood sweetheart, and turn into a souless, lifeless shell of a woman and pale copy of her mother, along with dull, boring, sexless Granthony, pumping out more screaming rugrats because that is what society (and parents) demand…….the traditional conformity.

In the real world, Assthony will soon have Liz wishing she had just flown off with Warren in his helicopter when she had the chance…..

But no. Not in the foobiverse. What will happen is that Lizzardbreath will wet herself every time Blanthony enters the room and talks about his accounting…….makes me wanna puke (again and again and again..)
DrBear
July 10th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Just FYI, Doug Marlette, creator of “Kudzu,” died Tuesday in a car crash. Strangely, this story doesn’t mention it, just mentioning his political cartooning.
bats :[
July 10th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Aunt Lynn paid Stephanie for essentially being the “screenwriter” of the Shannon Stands on a Table strips.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Curtisss – And, so why can’t a ‘Puppeteer’ perform at a Karaoke (merlot) club? Wouldn’t that really freak people out? It’d be great! Especially if he was a ventriliquist and had the puppet do the singing! Come on, people. Don’t be a Crock. Think out of the box. How about mimes? Or someone making baloon animals while singing some hit from the ’80’s?
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

#97, 137 The Divine O’F

I disquisitionalized, but the spam filter grabbed it before Gentleman Josh rescued me. It’s at #114.
Jym
July 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

=v= MT: So, what th’ Sam Hill is going on today? She ain’t just talking through her nose: I think the body language (with protective hand cover) and the extreme eye contact closeup (Mr. DeMille) is her way of saying, “Stop looking at my tits already!” [Insert ornithological joke here.]
Anonymous
July 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

FC – Billy best get to his book larnin’ if he’s gonna fulfill his potential as a pedophilic catamite.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

#142 Krauthead – Dead on. I’ve actually had my mother bugging me about getting together with some of the nice girls from church (although, by contrast to Anthony, these girls are actually nice and not creepy stalkers, I just have no interest in them.) It’s highly ironic, since she was dead-set against my having a girlfriend when I was in my teen years, and then as soon as I hit 21 and she hit almost-50 she decided she wanted grandkids and I couldn’t get married fast enough. Argh.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

I’m with Josh regarding Gil Thorp (the ‘e’ is silent – and invisible.) Never saw it before reading CC and I’ve yet to see it in print in any paper. I find it somehow riviting. I can’t really explain it.

I can’t wait to find out what’s going with Gail Martin, the Rock ‘n’ Roll Carol Channing
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

Dr. Bear @ 143: That’s tragic. He did some really good work in editorial cartoons.

That said, I hope Kudzu dies with him. It was such a consistent sack of crap that I would hope it does not have the kind of following to go on as a zombie strip.
Jym
July 10th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

=v= Zippy: Oh, BTW, Yesterday’s Zippy is notable for its vomit (a previously-discussed topic in these hallowed pages).
AtomicDog
July 10th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Zits: According to the phase of the moon, Dad must have snuck out of the house at about 4am to smoke his blunt.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

#150 PeteMoss – A few papers (including my local paper, the Duluth News-Tribune,) carry Gil Thorp, but generally it’s pretty hard to come across. So much so, apparently, that it doesn’t even have Sunday strips. Just stop and imagine a world where Clambake, Brynna Antenna, and the rest can be seen in color. What would it be like? Some sort of strange, nightmarish picture where all the colors are clearly off and yet internally consistent? The mind boggles.
The Divine O’F
July 10th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

gh 114, 146: Thanks for … uh… making my point for me.
Perky Bird
July 10th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

*Disclaimer: I am NOT a Liz-n-Anthony fan!!*

You know, it seems that most people here are saying that Liz and Anthony won’t have a good relationship or that Liz could never be attracted to Anthony because he is “nice, dependable, and stable.” That women really want the “bad biker boy,” and a “nice, dependable, stable” guy would only be good in a marriage after the kids are grown and you’ve become ground-down by life.
But I think it’s important to point out that those three things ARE important to healthy relationships. HOWEVER, those aren’t the ONLY things a potential mate should have going for them. I fell in love with my husband because he IS “nice, dependable, and stable” but ALSO because he is funny, charming, intelligent, passionate, shares similar interests, and doesn’t keep small children locked in his basement, among other things!
By contrast, Anthony has shown NO OTHER positive traits, other than being “nice, dependable, and stable.” Oh, wait, he can give a mean titty-twister to a would-be rapist. OK, that’s one more plus. But my point is, Anthony has shown nothing else of his personality to make him any deeper than a cipher.
“Nice, dependable, stable” guys CAN get the girl and make wonderful husbands, but ONLY if they posess additional personal traits that make them a complete human.
OK, end of rant!
Jennifer
July 10th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Hey, maybe Lynn is working up to a “Graduate”-style wedding with Liz riding off on the back of Paul’s motorcycle in her wedding dress…

Wait! No! APRIL (when she is of legal, non-ew age) rides off on the back of a motorcycle with some rebel hottie in her hideous beige bridesmaid’s dress but with the hottie’s black leather jacket around her shoulders — after interrupting the wedding to reveal Michael’s many affairs, Dee’s addiction to vicodin, her parents’ sexless, train-focused marriage, how Liz cheated to pass the teacher’s exam, and Anthony’s disgusting but inept pawing of her at the rehearsal dinner — thus ruining Liz’s perfect wedding and bringing shame to the Patterson name forever.

Wow, I like my ending *SO* much better…
Plinko Commie
July 10th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Apologies if this has already been covered, but didn’t April act all butthurt because she was forced to live in a basement in the other house? And now she’s (for her) okay with it? Basement dwellings are cool in urban areas, NOT Foobidelphia.

Could be worse. I was expecting a The More You Know lesson on how at least April isn’t beaten to a pulp every day like Eva, or forced to turn tricks for Johnny Walker money like Eva, or made to read Hi and Lois like Eva.

This story arc would be better with Shan … non taking Eva’s place.

Hey … April … you think … you … have it … bad … well … my bed … has rubber sheets … and I … can’t … bathe … myself because … my par … ents … think I’ll … take a bath … with the … toaster …
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

#156 Perky Bird – He isn’t really nice, dependable, or stable, either. Consider:

Nice
He keeps his child penned in a basement. He pressured his wife into having children when she didn’t want any.

Dependable
He agreed to take care of the kid he cajoled his wife into having, then bitched when she called him on it. As soon as his old flame was back in town, he went to find her with the intention of proposing an affair, wound up saving her from ~~that annoying kid a grade above you who was always putting you in holds~~ a rapist, and then proposed an affair anyway.

Stable
“I HAVE NO HOOOOOME!!!!”
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

#155 The Divine O’F

Well, it didn’t start out that way! *huff*
Tweeks_Coffee
July 10th, 2007 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

re: FOOB – Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still hate the Shannon story. Sure, it has some basis in reality, but it’s a huge leap from one class to an entire school. I stand by all my statements that this would not actually happen.

re: GT – I’m in Josh’s camp too. I absolutely love this strip. Not even in the same purely ironic way that I love MW. I love the zaniness of it all. It’s almost like the result of some ADD coke addict on too much caffeine. Fem-Wolverine? Gold. Disembodied claws and awesome diagonal leans? Spectacular. If I could only read 5 strips a day, I’d still follow GT.
Nina
July 10th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

Krauthead, I for one remember why I married my husband of 33 years, and it wasn’t because he was “nice and dependable”. We had (and still do) FUN! We defied our parents, we traveled out of the country, we dragged our daughter all over the place, had adventures! We love each other, but we are still both “nice and dependable” people.
Of course we have never lived in a basement maybe that would have changed our outlook on life. Hmmmmm
zenvelo
July 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

just heard about this sad news that the artist behind Kudzu died:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/07/10/national/a113406D35.DTL&tsp=1
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

#157 Jennifer – I’ve always liked the idea of April running away to the US to start a happy, parent-disapproved life of music and urban sophistication. She gets a job at a coffee shop in a run-down-but-likable section of one of the country’s minor metropolises, starts a prog-punk band to fill the 10:30-12:00 entertainment slot, starts a relationship with an aspiring indie film director, and eventually gets a recording contract with a small label based in Seattle or something. But yours is good too.

Hell, any alternate ending would be better than what we’re going to get.
lesles
July 10th, 2007 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

#141 Katherine – “… it’s better than the toad and fruit bat infested adobe hut where I lived in Peace Corps …”

you did peace corps in nimbin? wow, not many would survive that unscathed.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

MT – I’m not a real ophthalmalogist, but I play one when I’m reading the comics. I’ve just completed a thorough examination of Sam’s eyes and found that she has a detached retina.
Echo
July 10th, 2007 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

Actually, Anthony is not nice, dependable OR stable.

He married an incompatible woman whom he then nagged into having a baby she didn’t want. Then she was given hell for caring about her career. He was obsessed (I do not believe any of these characters know what love is) with his high school girlfriend, and careless enough about his wife’s feelings to not even try to overcome the obsession. He asked said former girlfriend to “wait for him” immediately after she’d almost been raped, and while he was still married. He keeps his kid in a cage in the basement.

Anthony is a world-class jackass, with one single solitary positive trait: he has a job. That is it.

I like nice, dependable and stable guys. Guys who actually are those things ALWAYS have more going for them and are interesting in many ways. Anthony is an evil stalker psycho manipulative controlling piece of dirt. Any mother who would push her daughter toward that — while he was still married, no less! — is also dirt.
Little Guy
July 10th, 2007 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

163:

Doug Marlette, the North Carolina-born cartoonist who won a Pulitzer Prize in 1988, was killed in a single-car accident Tuesday morning in Mississippi, authorities said. He was 57.

!MARGO!BOXCAR!SATURN!

Damn. Every cartoonist should go out like Johnny Hart or Sparky Shultz. Almost like a birthright.
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

FOOB: The only thing that could save this strip would be for , after the rehearsal dinner, Liz to have sex with a dead guy in the bathroom located in the back of the church, thinking it’s Anthony “Of course i’ll pull out Therese” Caine, and April and Eva initiating a lesbian relationship. This would make Jamus happy.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

MT With apologies to the Carpenters (and anyone who hates forced rhymes):

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time we fly here?
It must be
Buzzard and thee
Mustache crew

Why do planes fall down from the sky
Blinding Sam’s saucer eyes?
It must be
Buzzard and thee
Mustache crew

On the day the plot was born
The baddies got together
And decided to create a clever ruse
So the loosed some mallards in the air
And now they’ll get an airport shiny new

That is why all the moose in town
Follow them all around
It must be
Buzzard and thee
Mustache crew

Waaah-wah-wah-wah-wah
Mustache crew
Waaah-wah-wah-wah-wah
Mustache crew
[fade]
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

OK, let me get this straight. So LJ let’s her … niece who is … epileptic, or has a cleft palate, or let’s just say “challenged” [I can’t keep up and DO NOT read the monthly letters or other FOOB flotsam and jetsam] write the story arc. So, you lost me there, Lynn. Because why, exactly? So she can feel good about herself? Does the paying public get a refund? Because if that’s OK, then I guess we shouldn’t complain if our plane crashes into a mountainside because the pilot let his four-year old steer it, since the boy can and hold is arms out to his sides go BRRRRRR!!!
lesles
July 10th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

#170 HBGlord – nice
Krauthead
July 10th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

#156 Perky Bird: You’re absolutely right and I should have clarified that better. “Nice, dependable, and stable” does indeed work, as long as you’re not BORING and you have other attractive traits……such as fun, excitement, some unpredictability and a bit of mystery and intrigue.

My main point was that Blandthony is just that………plain and boring. Nothing more. He’s so predictable it’s pathetic. Which makes it highly unlikely that a woman would be attracted to him, unless she’s just so desperate that she thinks she has no other choice.

But in the foobiverse, being boring and souless are what matter….
Little Guy
July 10th, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

157: I’m starting to think more of a Sixteen Candles sendoff. April does have a Molly Ringwald vibe, but I can’t put my loonie on who would be Anthony Michael Hall.
Krauthead
July 10th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

#149 commodorejohn: You would not believe just how much I hear that: “When are you going to find a nice girl and settle down?”

I simply have to keep reminding them that I love to live life on my own terms and that I will not marry/have kids until I am ready to do so, and not because it’s what other people expect.
AtomicDog
July 10th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

MT: My god, they’re even bigger in the newspaper!
AhClem
July 10th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Sorry, Lynn, but I’m not buying it. We know your minions are watching this site, and that you were all [Margo]ed-off about the Shannon snark. The story on the FOOB site sounds contrived, as if it was created with the idea “What can we say that will make those Godless bastard ‘mudges feel bad about their comments?”

If you want readers to respect Stephanie/Shannon and others with similar disabilities, simply stop using them as trite, ham-fisted plot devices.
[/Rant]
Jennifer
July 10th, 2007 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

#164 commodorejohn

I like your version, too. They could be combined: the rebel hottie could be her equally-downtrodden gay friend Trevor, and they decide to escape Foobonia together and start a White Stripes-esque band.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

#175 Krauthead – Yeah, that’s the hell of it – they spent my entire adolescence telling me I should wait until I was ready, which I did, and now they’re telling me “okay, you’re ready, hop to it,” when I’m not =/
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#170 HBGlord —

clap!clap!clap!clap!clap!

Perfect pick for today’s second panel.
Jennifer
July 10th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#174

Or maybe Dirty Dancing — “No one puts Baby in the basement.”
Poteet
July 10th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

# 65 — gh, you’re really back! Yay! Though I do understand (and share) the need to take a break from time to time as life demands. Good to see you when you can be here, and belated thanks for the cat support.
Pozzo
July 10th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Dick saw what happened when you put Play-Doh on his comics image and stretched it, and now he’s seeing if it works in real life.

And what the hell is a ventriloquist doing at a karaoke bar? If they start doing “I Got You, Babe,” I’m outta here.
Allie Cat
July 10th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

FOOB -

My husband is nice, dependable and stable. Those are three of the qualities that made me care for him. But he’s also funny, smart, handsome, creative, intense and passionate. These are some of the other qualities that made me love him.

One could argue that oatmeal is nice, dependable and stable. But after three weeks of oatmeal, I’d sell my soul for some Crunchberry.
Paperback Rifler
July 10th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Hey, all — So this is the first day that I’ve tried to catch up on my Curmudgeon fix since having been away from work (and regular computer access) for the Fourth of July week; and man, oh man does there seem to be a lot to catch up on! (Case in point: Nice work with the “Mustache Crew” song, HBGlord!)

Anyway, it looks like my snarking abilities have atrophied and are severely weakened after almost a week of disuse. Please disregard the following, as it is merely a first attempt to get back into the snarking-through-song game. It’s supposed to be based on “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. No apologies to anybody, since I said you should be disregarding it anyway:

Sam
Your eyes are glossed
Sometimes
Whiplash
From a birdstrike left not a scar
When I want to blow off steam
I punch punks in the jaw
But I can’t recover from
The soulless eyes that I just saw

Wild attack ducks, they’ll return
Your female charms, I’ll stiffly spurn
A chance eyehook, a random clue —
I’ll find out who birdstruck you

Black hole eyes — The gaping void —
(Black hole eyes) Great Mergatroid!
(Black hole eyes) I see a vision
(Black hole eyes) Of hell’s black soul gate
(Black hole eyes) A swirling vortex
(Black hole eyes) From which light cannot escape
(Black hole eyes) Oh, I see no heat and no light
(Black hole eyes) Oh, it’s like a terrible blight
I want to run, to flee the sight of your black hole eyes
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

#153 AtomicDog says:

“Zits: According to the phase of the moon, Dad must have snuck out of the house at about 4am to smoke his blunt.”

4:20 am, to be precise. Am I right?
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

#182 Poteet

Yaay back at ya! We’re geosynchronous! I know you’ve been in and out this summer too, so it’s nice to get aligned. Sorry about the kitty again, but we all know your generous spirit, even when we don’t hear it directly. I caught a yesterthreaded comment of yours that has me intrigued enough to check out Steve Canyon again. I’d laid off for awhile. As you say, it does actually move, so I’d better go back to where I left off. Say hi to Mamie! Or her earrings. Or cars.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

I”m a rebel, Dottie. There are things about me couldn’t understand…Things you shouldn’t understand!
Calico
July 10th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#138 – And when the Hell is Apehell the Glory-Girl going to her farm out West anyway? She should have been there by now, except for her incessent bitching about everything.
The almost-roadside woman wants to be a veterinarian, and she ended up giving her pet rabbit to Icky Mike and his poor bewildered wife and their two mushrooms. Go figure.
Calico
July 10th, 2007 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

Incessant, I mean. Crap. I’ve overdosed on FOOB today.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

185. Paperback Rifler,
Great Mergatroid!
Major Hoople\'s Boarding House
July 10th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – Ah, somebody mentioned it earlier, but I just figured it out. Paste a glazed donut on each side of Dawn’s head … you’ve got Princess Leia! “Help me Obi-Wan Mary, you’re the only one”
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

MT- Here, Sam, try Visine! It gets the duck out!
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

This is too delicious not to share. Kinda drags in the middle, but don’t miss the final couple of paragraphs. Sorry if someone already posted it – it’s from July 3rd.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

#172 — ‘preciate it, lesles.

#180 — Likewise, gh — and to think the “Sam’s saucer eyes” line was the last one i wrote, strangely enough. I guess i was in deep, deep denial.

#185 — And speaking of deep, i extend admiration aplenty for your own parody, Paperback Rifler. And “atrophied,” my Aunt Tillie! You plunged right into the deep end of this snark-infested pool after your absence and got a perfect score, even from the Russian judge.
Steve S
July 10th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Or Curtis.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#194 — Ah, The State: Capital City’s finest news source, other than Joe Pinner on WIS-10. (He can’t still be around, either doing the weather or hosting Mr. Knozit, can he?)
Major Hoople\\\'s Boarding House
July 10th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

It’s sad about Doug Marlette (Kudzu). The strips of his that were my favorites were the intramural religious team sports.
Chromium
July 10th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

I am almost certain that Jack Elrod believes his characters are real, and has drawn Sam’s eyes at epic proportions to show us how nicely they have healed.
Tweeks_Coffee
July 10th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

#194 – gh: Most important thing learned; Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp’s name is Mimi.
uncle balustrade
July 10th, 2007 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Re Zits: Actually, a toke or two under a George Harriman-esque moon sounds pretty cool. I may try it tonight!
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

A3G -

I am seriously considering changing my comment-posting name to “Red-Eye Out of Dallas.”
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

#197 HBGlord

Joe Pinner — I think he died. Or he’s one of those who, when he does, you think, “Wasn’t he already?” About all he’s known for recently are car commercials and PSAs for EduVentureAthonVision (sponsored by The State, and, of course, WIS). His Mr. Knowzit days were before I arrived here, so when folks get weepy I tend to edge away. He’s always struck me as the kind of guy who likes gladiator movies. Anyway this is “Bill Pinckney Died” week in The State, so we have other fish to fry. My all time favorite The State front page was when Dale Earnhart died. In 128 point block font across the front page: ”HE WAS OUR PRINCESS DI”. You can’t make this stuff up.
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

I always enjoyed Kudzu as a kid. It was off-beat with Southern sensibility. I always thought it got a bad rep for being overly conservative. Maybe in later years, but the Kudzu I remember skewered everything.
T. Chicana
July 10th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

I like all the alternate endings! Now, let’s look back: LOOK AT ASSTHONY!! The ’stache is even grosser and more hilarious here! It looks like a broom! http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/archives/000418.php (sorry, I don’t know my html too good)
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#200 Tweeks_Coffee

That’s why it’s called a newspaper.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Correction to #170 — The fourth line of the song’s bridge should be: So they loosed some mallards in the air

Yes, it makes so much more sense now…
uncle balustrade
July 10th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Re #201: “Herriman”, I meant; not “Harriman”. I may have been thinking of George Harrison, the guy who wrote “Lucy in the Sky with Neil Diamond”. Or was that the Lennon Sisters!?!
Kronkina
July 10th, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Kronkina’s 2 cents on nice, dependable and stable guys:

Well, I for one most certainly remember why I was attracted to my husband of 22 years, and it wasn’t that he was stable. Nice, yes. Dependable – well, I could always depend on him. But stable? Hell, he was only 17 at the time, how stable can you be at 17? But I digress. Maybe nobody would have called him any of those things at that time, but I called him fine (it was 1981, after all) and that was all I cared about.

So he did turn out to be nice, dependable and stable. And funny and intelligent, a wonderful father; in short, everything I want in my man. Get that, Lynn? Everything *I* want, not everything my mother wanted.

As far as giving advice to my kids, I don’t, unless they ask for it. Or I give it in generalities. Because there’s one thing I definitely remember from my dating days – if my grandmother didn’t like ‘em, I like ‘em all the more. In the real world, if a mother and/or father was pushing an Anthony so damn hard, the daughter would run, run I tell you, in the other direction.

Lynn is so out of touch with the real world and real human emotions and the actual dynamics of a real human relationship, but not because she’s older and/or its been a long time since she was in the dating scene, but because she lives in a cocoon where nobody dares to cross the Will of Lynn (thank you commodorejohn @ 138). She simply doesn’t live in the real world.

So that’s 4 cents I’ve given y’all today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get down off the cafeteria table and please stop throwing those french fries at me!
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

My wife was originally attracted to me even though I was highly unstable, DAMMIT, and between jobs…but nice – when it suited my purpose. I was seldom cruel without having a goal in mind – say, extracting information I considered vital. Anyway, we’ve been together twelve years and she never complains about the basement arrangement.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

#203 — gh, my Bill Pinckney story, shortened considerably:

In 1988, i was in Sumter (where my mother was born and raised) with my parents to attend my maternal grandmother’s funeral. My cousin, who lives there, mentioned that he knew Bill Pinckney of the Drifters. My dad insisted on seeing him and browbeat my cousin for directions to his house. I decided to go with him mainly to keep him out of trouble, as my dad has always been a bit of a loose cannon.

To make a long story merely medium-long, my dad and i showed up unannounced and crashed the poor guy’s house, and we spent an hour or so plopped down on his couch watching the Baseball Game of the Week with him. He was beyond gracious.
Lynngineering
July 10th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

#97 Divine O’F and related: I always like to read your CC contributions in this mode, these soundings reflecting the shape of the terrain underneath the CC streams. I think there are a few levels to the CC and that, let’s say, more passionate reading of certain newspaper comics while not others. Simply put for my case at least, it is first bound to what I was reading in the newspaper in my youth. No nostalgia meant. It has to do with a kind of newspaper comic that existed, as a form or script-based art even, that I read in the morning and so on. I had a few pages in the Washington Post. There came with time the newer additions of course, like Far Side, or Calvin&Hobbes and so on, but there was always a first, core set or group (from more interesting period of A3G, to pure glance-at-kitsch like Winnie Winkle, Brenda Starr even, etc. and of course FBOFW or the gold standards- Doonesbury, etc.) It is one sensibility I recall and why I like to write on some and not others, because they USED to not suck, they used to have some material.

Now with the CC, there are the strips Josh brings in to read here. For me, it’s his comments and then the response that bring the interest to write, not particularly the strips. Which means, while maybe fun to read about, I can’t always be motivated past a certain level, because I don’t feel some of the comics are that motivated either. But I guess that’s what the blog-format is about in a way.

Finally, as to the ongoing FBOFW discussion: the strip significantly dumbed down, lost its equilbrium to the point there are some real ISSUES that should be brought up by its readership. And so they do. Just as would be the case with any story in a representational public format. It rings so hollow and untrue now — and oddly, at the point where it has success and could do what it wants as a series of story arcs – - that …well, you know my opinion: “Michael coma” etc…

#133 Mibbitmaker “…This strip is all about debasement these days, isn’t it?”

Nice – and points for including a nod to the puntastic Foobian last panel!
Dr. Marion
July 10th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

American Beauty, Zits Edition.

“Jeremy, Sarah’s friend Amber – I haven’t seen her around lately. She hasn’t .. said anything about me, has she?”

(Jeremy GROANS and hides his face with his arms).
gh
July 10th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

#211 HBGlord

As much as I snark on SC, I’ve found a lot of it’s legends to be exactly that — gracious. I did a round of e-mail jabs on BBQ with Walter Edgar once and he was the very epitome of same. Maurice, on the other hand, is just an embarrassment.
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#214 — Even if i were still a carnivore, i wouldn’t go to Maurice’s (not that i would want to go through the back door to get served, if you catch my drift, and i know you do).
Evan Waters
July 10th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

[Morbo]KARAOKE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY![/Morbo]
Timothy Burke
July 10th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

JESUS CHRIST!

That middle panel of Mark Trail made me spit out my drink AND jump back about five feet from the monitor.
Big Stu
July 10th, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

#119 El Santo-

Where are those FOOB spoofs at somethingawul.com? Would love to see em
Keg of Curd
July 10th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

I’ve just completed a thorough examination of Sam’s eyes and found that she has a detached retina.
Yeah. Detached from a giant squid.
AtomicDog
July 10th, 2007 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

186 to Skullturf:

“4:20 am, to be precise. Am I right?”

[Astronomy geek mode] Dad’s moon is a waning crescent, about three days from New. Considering that a New Moon rises at sunrise (with the sun) and that this crescent rises about three hours before sunrise, 4:20 am sounds pretty good. [/Astronomy geek mode]
Poteet
July 10th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

MT — Perhaps a few other Mudges of a certain age will recall Dave Mason’s song that includes the following:

Eyes that are the windows
Eyes that are the view
Eyes that tell a story
Sad and deep as you

I thought about writing a MT parody, but a parody about one stanza seems unusually lame, and there are plenty of good parodies on this site, and Sam’s eyes are freakin’ me out and harshin’ my creativity. So I’m just going to pretend I’ve written the parody and I’m going to pretend it’s hilarious. BWAHAHA! I slay me.
Kronkina
July 10th, 2007 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Poteet, you slay me, too! GREAT parody!

I’m pretending with you because said Sam’s eyes are “harshin’ my creativity” and I get it, sista. I totally get you.
Robert Whitaker Sirignano
July 10th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Maybe the little microcephalics of the FAMILY CIRCUS can write the Fooberville epic?

KUDZU bothered me for several years because he kept recasting the ages of the strip’s characters, and then settled on the Reverend for a Mouthpiece. He’s a f’ing bore like most clueless Christians. The satire wasn’t too far from what most Christian rednecks speak freely about.

Sorry Doug, but Rest in Peace. You meant well.

No harping on me please, as when Hanna or Barbarian passed away and I critiqued them as I saw fit, as people did when Marlon Brando passed on. You survive by your works and your faults are noticed. Marlette did as best he could. He weren’t perfect, and often his characters were kind of pale next to the Rev.

As for the FLINTSTONES, gawd, what poop. Nostalgia gone wrong.
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Also, I notice yesterday Josh called me a dick. Impressive observation sir, and I wasn’t even trying!
Dean Booth
July 10th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Peek-a-Foob (mildly NSFW).
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Re 4:20 am, I was also trying to make a marijuana reference. I proudly note that my hometown of Victoria, BC, is depicted in the Wikipedia article.

In other news, in today’s Slylock, we have the return of the fish skeleton!
ElSanto
July 10th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

#218 – You’ll have to look for ‘em yourself, my man. Ever since Lynn wiped out that Shannon parody with legal threats, everyone’s been a little protective of our secret treasure trove. ;)
HBGlord
July 10th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

#221 — Poteet, the only Dave Mason song i recall is “We Just Disagree.” And though the line “We can’t see eye to eye” clearly applies to Mark and Sam, the following lines “There ain’t no good guys, there ain’t no bad guys” holds no truck in a world ruled by Mark’s Right Hook o’ Justice!

And do we really need two people who sing like Gordon Lightfoot?

#224 — Gabe, don’t you mean “I noticed yesterthread“?
Bob
July 10th, 2007 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

I am guessing you’ve already heard that the guy who invented Kudzu died….
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070710/ap_en_ot/obit_marlette;_ylt=AmImHQ_FMeyqQJQ8FffnKxNY24cA
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

D’oh!
DMcK
July 10th, 2007 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

MT: contrary to what one might think, that 2nd panel is not a close-up of Sam. In an interesting variation on the Giant Talking Animal syndrome, it is a close up of a tiny microscopic organism delivering its line of dialogue while swimming around in her tear duct.
Josh
July 10th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Gabe and True Fable, I apologize for the language. I DON’T LIKE PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO EACH OTHER IN THE COMMENTS, and that’s what the whole thing came off as yesterday. If someone’s being an irritant to you, let it go. There are no winners in Internet disputes. But I was overly harsh at you guys.

Josh
gnome de blog
July 10th, 2007 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

108 Crooked Soricidae:

What th’?! Great Jolene parody, Take a bow.

Good name, too.
Stephen
July 10th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

I want to know what ‘hood Curtis comes from, where the George Costanza red-sweater-over-collared-shirt look is DA BOMB. I should show up there in my wingtips and really jive it up. Holla!
Holly
July 10th, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

i just figured out what’s going on with Darin and Lisa. LISA IS HIS MOM, OMG. It’s a race against time, will she die before he finds out? Good God, the schmaltz. I’m so glad this thing is not in my paper.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

I had to look up “Soricidae”, but now I get it. Yes, nice name.

We’ve got ourselves a nice collection of in-jokes in this here community. I love you guys!
ElSanto
July 10th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

Speaking of Gil Thorp and its train-wreck qualities, I do believe that people can be passionate about it. Similar high-school themed shows garner the same type of following on TV: “Saved by the Bell” in the US and “Degrassi” in Canada (and sometimes in the US). Both fans admit that there’s a sort of train-wreck quality. But both will love the show with a passion.

Take “Degrassi,” for example. The show has barely passable acting, and each episode was so over-the-top signficant that it bordered parody, even when the episodes originally aired. But… the show actually did a good job with characterization, and the audience stayed to see what wacky hi-jinks the cast would get into next. Hence, Gil Thorp. The art may be terrible, and the plots may be over the top, but darn it, what is that crazy Marty Moon gonna get himself into this time?
edgeways
July 10th, 2007 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn

Duluth area eh? as am I, just thought it amusing there are at least two reading this place.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

Josh, my peyote-fueled nightmares usually feature lobsters on bicycles who ride around me shouting, “Pencils down, people.” Or they’re more like that second panel in today’s Curtis.
alamo
July 10th, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

dt — sacre merde!
Trotzenbonnie
July 10th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

#149 – commodorejohn
I think your plight is ripe for Scadutoization!

#183 – Pozzo
Silly Putty. Normally I wouldn’t be so petty but I like saying “Silly Putty”.

#185 – Paperback Rifler
No apologies, indeed! Any excuse to imagine John Cusack holding up that giant boombox is a winner. (Sigh!)

And – Anthony could be the most stable, dependable and trustworthy person alive but if he can’t pass the Smell Test….bye bye!
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

I continue to be honored by Crooked Soricidae’s name.

Those who wonder as to its origins may be edified here.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

Curtis-

That Barak Obama sure knows what it takes to motivate the electorate – Puppets!!! ….and, of course, universal health care.
Brown-eyed Girl
July 10th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

You know, I’m kinda down today, and I want comics that will make me smile. Not snark or sneer, but genuinely smile. Any recommendations?
Joe Blevins
July 10th, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

MT: This has to be one of the few comic strips left which actually still look like Roy Lichtenstein paintings. Roy’s long gone, but who’d have guessed the very aesthetic he parodied would have outlived him?

Blondie: Have to admit, I liked that punchline: the dull-edged, only-slightly-veiled hostility. Think of the number of times Blondie must have had to stifle the urge to smother Dagwood in his sleep. THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED SINCE 1933!

Curtis: Any comic strip which reminds me of Willie Tyler & Lester — if only momentarily — is okay in my book.
AhClem
July 10th, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Dr. Bill Frist has examined the second panel in today’s MT, and declared Sam’s eyes to be normal and responsive.
Uncle Lumpy
July 10th, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

#244 Brown-eyed Girl –

Herewith Uncle Lumpy’s trifecta of non-ironic comix pleezers:

Sherman’s Lagoon
My Cage
Piranha Club

Let me know if those work for you.
Katherine
July 10th, 2007 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

brown eyed girl, wondermark always makes me happy!

http://wondermark.com/
Harold
July 10th, 2007 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

Darn. I remember I liked Kudzu when it first came out. That was back in 1981. I even watched the pilot on TV in 1983 and…well, it worked about as well as the Doonesbury TV cartoon. Which is to say, not well at all.

I don’t think I read Kudzu at all since then until last year, when I started reading it at chron.com after I started coming here. It bore no resemblance to the gentle, laid-back strip full of characters with surpising depth that I remembered from many years before.

Fare thee well, dude. We’re all bound to go someday.
Kate
July 10th, 2007 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

Brown-Eyed Girl, I’m sorry you’re feeling down. Spot The Frog always cheers me up (don’t know how to make a link, but it’s on Chron.com). It’s about as unironic as they come, and it makes me revel in my own dorkiness.
Brown-eyed Girl
July 10th, 2007 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

247. Uncle Lumpy — thank you! These made me laugh out loud, particularly the Piranha Club. Just what I needed.

248, Katherine. Thanks for the recommendation. I think this one could grow on me…
Brown-eyed Girl
July 10th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

250. Kate. Thank you, this one is cute. Fired flies indeed!
ralph
July 10th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

244, Brown-eyed Girl, Lio is freeing in spirit, and imaginative, if you want to throw in a dash of creativity to spark your sense of fun and humor. cheers!
p.s. (Maybe someone can help link to it, I’m sorry I’m so incapable).
AhClem
July 10th, 2007 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Lio: http://www.gocomics.com/lio/

B-e G: If you happen to have any Calvin & Hobbes books lying around, curl up in a comfy chair and spend an hour browsing through it. Always works for me.
Harold
July 10th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Someone else has probably already done this, but I haven’t been able to read all the comments lately, so here goes.

I CALL SHENANIGANS ON REX MORGAN!

Compare:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070710&name=Rex_Morgan

to

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070326&name=Rex_Morgan

It’s not exactly the same, and maybe it’s supposed to be a recurring theme.

OK, back to the hunt…
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

Harold @ 255: Isn’t it obvious? June wants to get Heather in bed. And I don’t care how many times she has to try, as long as we get to see it when she succeeds.
Gabe
July 10th, 2007 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

I like the dark side in you, though! Let the hate flow, Josh.

*cackles maniacly*

Gabe, firmly convinced the internet is for yelling at people you don’t know over comments you’re not sure they made.
True Fable
July 10th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

#232 Josh – thank you. I appreciate it.
Zamboni_Rodeo
July 10th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

Drabble: Hey, waitaminnit… Unless Patrick is aiming to take down the Starbuck’s empire, lemonade isn’t caffeinated to begin with.

Dammit, this strip isn’t funny.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

#238 edgeways – Heh. I’m about forty minutes south of Duluth; how ’bout you?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

I seem to remember recently reading about someone who developed caffeinated orange juice as a breakfast drink. Don’t know how that fared.
Mac
July 10th, 2007 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

Here’s the Marlette story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, where he won the Pulitzer:

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/stories/2007/07/10/marlette_0710.html

I have a couple of early Kudzu books. They’re not bad. Kudzu the character is actually in some of the strips!
Mamzelle Hepzibah
July 10th, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

I know a bunch of CCers are New Yorker caption-contest followers and entrants, so I thought you’d want to know that Dave at Blog About Town has discovered the golden caption-writing formula, at least going by the first hundred wins. Here’s his breakdown of it all. Get your Familiar Phrases With a Twist ready!
True Fable
July 10th, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Let’s snark:

Phantom What do you mean, old jungle lore? We’re clueless white people, we wouldn’t know jungle lore beyond Disney’s Jungle Book. Tomorrow: The Ghost-Who-Does-A-Mean-Tango strikes!

DtM Dennis, it’s not menacing if you’re just going to pass the blame. Grow a pair, boy. -5 points.

RMMD …then what the hell are you pumping coffee into her, if you want her to go back to bed? Jeezus, June. You’re a big help. Or devious as hell.

Marvin The good news is, Marvin is not featured in the strip today. The bad news is, it still isn’t all that clever.

Cathy Must Die Thank GOD she didn’t pack a mini skirt. I guess Cathy’s idea of Hell is to spend eternity in the same pair of plaid flip-flops.

A3G oh, SNAP! Looks like we got us a bona-fide Steel Magnolia, sugah. I just might put a ten-spot on Baby Jane for the win. Of course, Mighty Magee just might let out a roar tomorrow and I’ll lose the bet. Ah, but it will be worth it.
Islamorada Girl
July 10th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

Girlfriend Poteet–Try The New Adventures of Queen Victoria.
I’m totally hooked on it, and I think you’ll like it too.

http://www.gocomics.com/thenewadventuresofqueenvictoria/

What do you want to bet that Happy Easter’s wife is Big Red?
Major Hoople\'s Boarding House
July 10th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

Ooh, ooh, you’ve got to read Heart of the City today!

http://www.gocomics.com/heartofthecity/
Christopher
July 10th, 2007 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

Where’s the Outrage?

I think Funky Winkerbean and For Better or Worse get so much roasting is that they’re constantly on the verge of being really good, but then they pull back and substitute glurdge for real emotion.

In both strips, it’s pounded into our heads that the only acceptable response to tragedy is a martyr like calm and sense of pity for your antagonists.

Look at Shannon; she’s constantly talking about how she pities the nitwits who make fun of her.

Well, good for her, I guess, but back in the day I was pretty damn pissed off at those assholes. I was a KID. It’s okay for hormone charged kids to be imperfect and over-react to things sometimes. It’s part of growing up.

And really, I don’t think the cafeteria would’ve been a good place for that little speech. Depending on the high school, a positive reaction isn’t TOTALLY out of the question, but it’s very unlikely, especially given what we’ve already seen at the school.

And honestly, there was just no passion. I was filled with passion and anger at that age, and seeing bland, preachy dinks held up as ideal teenagers is pretty irritating.

Funky Winkerbean is even worse. Much like most us have been teased by dimwitted bullies as kids, most of us have probably been talked down to by doctors. Hell, I bet some of us have had doctors make stupid mistakes and CONTINUE to talk down to us.

It’s a highly emotional, relatable situation, and it’s extra charged up just because of the high stakes.

And Lisa’s reaction is to JUST SIT THERE LIKE A DOORMAT!

Maybe we’ve done that with our doctors in a lower stakes situation, but it’s not fun, it’s not something we want to see happen.

Really, Lisa is worse then Shannon, because with Shannon, getting angry probably wouldn’t help anything.

But in Lisa’s case, the hospital’s malpractice has basically killed her, and caused another person to undergo extremely unpleasant and expensive treatments for no reason.

Lisa’s a lawyer, and taking legal action against the hospital might cause them to fire the assholes who screwed up, and institute new policies to prevent this from happening in the future.

If Lisa got angry, she could save lives.

Instead, she reacts with nothing more then a slightly wistful unhappiness.

Both Batiuk and Johnson keep writing these relatable, realistic situations, and then have their characters react to them in totally unrealistic, inhuman ways.

And it’s frustrating, because it seems like a slap in the face to those of us who react to things with actual human emotion, as if we’re somehow offensive or unreasonable.

Both strips could be really good if the authors could resist the urge to make their characters into saints.
kat
July 10th, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

FOOB: With all that “girl” business, Eva is clearly auditioning for the part of “Overly and Unnecessarily Sassy Friend Who Dispenses ‘Real’ Advice Because She Has Family Issues and May Have Been Date Raped by That College Guy That One Time” in She Said No, But He Said Yes. She’s already got the perm for it; all she needs now is a good pair of acid washed jeans and a flannel shirt.
Holly
July 10th, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Christopher: Hear, hear! You go. It’s like Mary Sues to the nth degree.

The only digression is April, who’s so normal-teenager that she gets outraged about things that don’t matter. But April is obviously the best (major) character in the whole thing. She’s a HUMAN. I mean, a comic human. Oh, help.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
July 10th, 2007 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Well said, Christopher.
CrabbyGenes
July 10th, 2007 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

My apologies if this is old news to you people. I am up to my ears in work this week, and have not had time to read much of this thread.

That being said, I refer you to Elly’s Coffee Talk on the Foobsite, below.

http://www.fborfw.com/fun/blog/

What I find interesting about the most recent posting (for July 10) is that they have divided the letters into pro and con. Keep scrolling down past the thank you notes and read the letters under the heading “When you’ve just gotta vent.” That long one sounds like one of us.

What I am wondering is, what Johnston would say to “our” type of letter? I notice that she answers notes from readers VERY selectively.

I’m afraid that this rather belated post might be the equivalent of remarking, “Say! Doesn’t Aldo remind you of Captain Kangaroo?!” If it is, I apologize again. But if I catch up with comments first and THEN post it, I’ll be posting it at 4 a.m. your time,when most of you are in bed.
Christopher
July 10th, 2007 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

Meanwhile, in the comics, things are happening!

Archie: Archie sits back for some retro gaming with his Atari 5200.

Beetle Baily: It’s Milo Minderbinder in a surprise crossover cameo!

Next Time on Beetle Baily: Killer is chopped into hamburger by the propeller of a low flying airplane.

Garfield: Jon’s favorite genre of music: The filthy polka.

Mutts: I don’t know, I’d be crapping myself if my cat decided to start playing with a Grizzly Bear. Knowing Earl and Mooch are only seconds away from being mauled kinda takes the cuteness out of it.

Popeye: “Reep the Reaper” is the most awesome name for a hitman I have ever heard. It just makes me smile every time she says it.

Reep the Reaper.

It’s enough to make me forgive Popeye for all its myriad sins.

Slylock Fox: I like that this guy set up for his afternoon of tanning right next to the rotting fish carcass. The smell just completes the beachgoing experience, I guess.

I am genuinely surprised that there’s not a seagull or something picking at the skeleton, though.

Next: Coloring Sweatshop Tour!
Brown-eyed Girl
July 10th, 2007 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

267. Christopher. You are so right. Both Johnston and Batiuk want us to accept their comics as depictions of real life, but neither seems to make the effort to portray real people. Their characters are puppets used to Get The Point Across. I’ve never followed FW, but I was engaged with the world Johnston created in FBOFW. It saddens me to see it reduced to such a preachy, hokey, manipulative mess.
Eric J
July 10th, 2007 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

Sad news – Doug Marlette, Kudzu creator died in a car crash today.
True Fable
July 10th, 2007 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

Re: the first big rant under “When you just gotta vent”:

Cheryl of Rochester, I love you with all my heart and soul. I would kiss and pet any part of you that you wish, for that wonderful and detailed letter. Just say the word, darlin’, and all of Greater Metropolitan Roopville is at your feet.

Your kissable feet.

TF
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 10th, 2007 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

#274,
That’s a shock. It’s sad too. Kudzu was kind of lame a lot of the time, but I never thought ill of its creator. And at least Johnny Hart had an idea that his time was coming.

In memoriam.
Dr. Laura
July 10th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

#119 ElSanto: I searched somethingawful.com and couldn’t find anything about the Foobs! Can you at least drop us a hint about where to look??
NotThatGuy
July 10th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

#272, Christopher: depends on the cat.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/06/images/060613-cat-bear_big.jpg
Trotzenbonnie
July 10th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

Has anyone here ‘fessed up to being ‘Cheryl of Rochester’ yet? The liberal use of the word “crap” is enough to convince me that it had to be a missive from one of the Curminions. The style of writing seems youthful….but that could be by design just to cleverly obfuscate the author’s identity.
Sounds like a mystery that could only be solved by our favorite vulpine detective
NotThatGuy
July 10th, 2007 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Or if you want a cat-bear close-up:

http://ginasmith.typepad.com/gina_on_gina/bear_cat.jpg
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 10th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

#210 PeteMoss,
That’s the kind of story that keeps me believin’ in love.
messody
July 10th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

Walt has truble unerstanig is teenage kid, What do you expect???
Sheilagh
July 10th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Nice, dependable, and stable?

Therese could really depend on the guy, huh.

\
messody
July 10th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

Walt has a difficult time with his kid. What do you expect???
Poteet
July 10th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

# 265 — Most Esteemed Islamorada Girl, you’re right. All the synapses in my brain screamed “YES!” when I saw that strip. Thank you.

As for Happy Easter being married to Big Red, ever, all the synapses in my brain screamed “(MARGO), NO!” But it’s still a brilliant demented concept. Congratulations on coming up with it. (But that honeymoon, arrrrrgh…)
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

Cat scares Bear!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPmqtvtdzCM
Echo
July 10th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

#263 — Also, winning the New Yorker caption contest is much easier if you sound like most New Yorker cartoons, i.e., not funny. Thus, I don’t pin much hope on the people here winning.

I laughed at Wednesday’s Garfield. Out loud. It was just a little chuckle, but still. Go go Jim Davis!
Herro!
July 10th, 2007 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

I added this comment to “Elly’s Coffee Talk” (I’m pathetic, I know):
To Oasis, Michigan, from a few days ago, who asked why Lynn hated April: the reason is that April is not modeled after one of Lynn’s own children, so she is the scapegoat. She’s also the only one who has any semblance of a personality. She’s also the only one who cares enough to visit Gramps out of anything other than guilt and obligation. She’s also the only one who cares about the pets. She’s also the only one who cares about anyone other than herself. The elder two children (can’t really say “adult children,” can we?) are as self-absorbed as Johnston herself is. If April were a real person, I’d pray for her to get out of town before Mom Elly tries to set her up with another doormat (such as Dee or Blandthony). Maybe she can continue to cultivate her own, non-needy, interesting personality with her relatives in Manitoba.

If I were one of Johnston’s kids, I’d cry at the way I’d be portrayed at this strip.

And I know we all LOVE to demonize Paul, but I’d say he dodged a bullet. Bent over backwards to please Miss Perfect, and then all of a sudden gets labeled a cheater, and the inherent racism of “he belongs with his own kind” is just too disgusting to even think about. Anti-miscegenation much, Lynn?
edgeways
July 10th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn

upper woodland right in Duluth, bout a mile or so from Hartly Field, ~ 3 miles from umd
beergoggles
July 10th, 2007 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

well, the latest shortpacked is foob oriented
beergoggles
July 10th, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

#288 – i never really did see the ‘betrayal’ by paul – if anything, he’s the mirror of elizabeth in that his old flame returned to area and elizabeth’s departure forced them together
beergoggles
July 10th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

#36 – Darkefang – thanks for the biggest laugh of my day
Poteet
July 10th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

# 15 — Calico, I remember that MAD parody! I remember that illustration! I remember THOSE EXACT WORDS!

(turns red and slinks away)
fizzy logic
July 10th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

#279 – Trotz, see #123 – I think it’s from the same (anti) FOOB site where the letter writer got the snippy response from one of LJ’s minions about the “envelope full of air”. I can’t recall the name of that site right off the top of my head, but there was a link to it back when we had that discussion. Whenever that was, a few days ago – weeks? It’s hard to keep track. The letter writer was asking about the timeline and the fact that Liz seemed to lose a year at some point and was celebrating her birthday a year younger than she should be. So around Lizardlips’ birthday.
walter
July 10th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

249–

kudzu was actually a very good strip for a while. like most comics after 10 years or so it ran out of gas. the great (and rich) ones retire, the regular working drones start cranking out crap. hey, you gotta make a living. rip Marlette.
Buck Ripsnort
July 10th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

If you stare too long into abyss of Sam’s eyes, Mark Trail asks you what the hell your problem is and punches off your facial hair.

For Un-ironic humor, I always recommend Get Fuzzy and Pearls Before Swine.
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2007 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

Poteet-this one is for you and me qnd all the Mudges who have lost their fine furry feline friends, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWXEXYZvW-8&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ejimmyr%2Ecom%2Fblog%2FFunny%5FCat%5FVideos%5F191%5F2006%2Ephp
LTBF
July 10th, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

I never understood why Anthony married the accent marks to begin with. She was a complete bitch who didn’t want kids.

Mike isn’t the most supportive brother when ot comes to his siter’s love life. After Warren flew the coop last time, he wrote in his letter that he couldn’t blame him, pilots go where the work is and you can’t tie him down. (Or something to that extent).

How about, “That jackass Warren flies in for a couple of weeks, has a quickie or two with my ister and then takes off after whing about how much he cares about her. The next time his sorry ass shows his face around here and gets her all worked up and drops her like a hot potato he better check his engine very carefully the next time he flies, if you know what I mean.
Poteet
July 10th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

# 297 — Red, thank you. And thank you for your earlier kind words re my cat loss. I raise a Rusty Trombone to you, sir.
Different Dan
July 10th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn, Krauthead: One of you really should submit that girlfriend situation to TDIET.
lughcifer
July 10th, 2007 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Realizing that she can’t compete with the LizardBreath in the Lips o’ Loveliness category, Sam attempts to woo comic readers everywhere with her Pupils of Paranoia.
Leu
July 10th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

267 — The characters are probably supposed to be role models or something rather than saints. But even so, as you’ve said, the unrealistic reactions they have to realistic situations makes reading the comics more frustrating, and frustrated people are more likely to snark/make up our own endings/stop reading.

Thanks. I’ve been trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me about those strips for a while now.
Skulking on the Outskirts
July 10th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker–hey, look, it’s Raju’s mom! Uh, why is she speaking Spanish? I thought Raju was from India….

Mark Trail–AAAAAIIIIIEEEE!!!…..holy–oh, everybody already beat me to it. Damn.

Yesterthread dust-up–I think the heat is getting to all of us. I said some mean things to my cat today, for no other reason than that she can be comfortable on a cool spot on the floor, and I can’t. And now I’ve come into work on a night when I don’t have to work, just to be where there’s decent margoing a/c to sit in!!

Anyhoo, I just popped in to see what’s going on, and I’m making the person who actually is supposed to be working tonight rather uncomfortable by being here. So good night, everyone, and may your a/c’s work efficently, and where the hell is CHENNUX, melkardammit?!
LTBF
July 10th, 2007 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

271-One of the posters at the Foob site mentioned Gerald bragging about April going roadside. That had to come from somebody here.
LTBF
July 10th, 2007 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

I wonder if part of the reason LJ is freezing her strip is that she doesn’t want to have to kill off Jim, Iris and eventually John and Elly.

BTW, are John’s parents still living?
Red Greenback
July 11th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

#299 Poteet…I’m still heartboken over the loss of my cat “Mister Belvedere” I’m serious!!!
shane shiner
July 11th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Xanga is sooo last year, Jeremy.
indichik
July 11th, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

#305 As delighted as I’m sure some of us would be, I really can’t fathom how the strip would actually get to the point where Lynn would have to kill off Elly, because wouldn’t that mean Lynn herself would have kicked the bucket first?
jamoche
July 11th, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

Cheryl of Rochester is hoppytoad79 of livejournal
Trilobite
July 11th, 2007 at 3:09 am [Reply]

#298 LTBF wrote “I never understood why Anthony married the accent marks to begin with.”

I always assumed it was a moment of rare semi-self-awareness on Anthony’s part. With Liz out of the picture, he looked at himself long enough to realize how unattractive and bland he really was, and that if something didn’t change, he would never be with anyone ever again and would die alone.

Unfortunately, his “solution” to the problem was to push and wheedle his way into a marriage with the first woman who didn’t throw a shoe at him to make him go away. And then to pressure her to have a kid, in the hopes that his daughter at least would care if he lived or died. But this was all hollow, and so he didn’t pass up any opportunities to obsess over Liz, the last (and only) girl who actually wanted to go out with him…even if that was a long, long time ago and she was a different person then.

Mind you, Lynn was on his side, and had no qualms about turning Liz back into the person she used to be and ignoring any semblance of logic or realism in order to shove them back together.

To me, the real question is what the hell was wrong with Therese-the-accent-mark-lady that she got roped into marrying Blandthony in the first place? Was it just self-esteem issues? An out-of-control coke habit? Did she do it to win some kind of bet? Seriously, what terrible flaw in her personality drew her into his loveless, desperately clingy arms?
CrabbyGenes
July 11th, 2007 at 4:29 am [Reply]

#298 and #304. I think that was the idea. (Therese being “a complete bitch who didn’t want kids.”) It was Johnston’s ham-fisted plotting way back when, and I sometimes wonder if there was ever any question in her mind but that Liz would eventually marry Anthony.

Johnston made Therese (I’m not even going to try for the accent marks) as obnoxious a character as there ever was. In almost every one of the strips featuring her, even the ones detailing her wedding with Anthony, she was drawn with an ugly scowl on her face. Pure Evil is jealous. Pure Evil puts career before marriage. Pure Evil does NOT want children. Later, instead of baby (shower?) gifts, I believe Pure Evil even asked for money, and was rude to people who didn’t like the idea. (Please correct me if I’ve got this wrong, former FOOB fans. I haven’t got the heart to get out the old books and check for sure.)

If I recall correctly, Anthony was supposed to have married her on the rebound (and we all know THAT kind of marriage is doomed), and I think it was a move to garner sympathy for Anthony, whom Johnston (Elly) loves madly.

In retrospect, I wonder if we weren’t all a bit stupid for even thinking that Liz might end up with Paul, or Warren, or anyone else.
Dennis Jimenez
July 11th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

203 – Aldo was my Princess Di.
David Chaffin
July 12th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Slylock’s pizza boy took a slice from the box, I think…his cheeks are even chubby like a squirrel’s. It would help if the art were a little more obvious, but the artist probably drew it about 100 times bigger than it gets printed…
Joe Pinner
December 19th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

OH BTW…I am still alive and still doing commercials and presenting the weather on the WIS-TV noon show on Fridays. Still loving life but not loving the language used by many of these posters. Evidently never on the Knozit Show as we did try to screen out the potty-mouthed and did promote civil behavior and language. Joy and agape’…Joe “Knozit” Pinner circa 1935 til ???

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Tuesday quickies

314 responses to “Tuesday quickies”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery