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Endless, stupid love













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Marmaduke, 10/14/11

Eva, wistful in her drindl, dreams of a second chance for the Thousand-Year Reich.

Crankshaft, 10/14/11

At the risk of horning in on Mary Worth territory, here’s a page from Uncle Lumpy’s Guide for the Young in Love:

Proposals:

  • Proposals must be made in person, or by telephone or video chat only if the matter is urgent and a face-to-face meeting is impossible. Billboards, faxes, scoreboards, and above all letters are unacceptable means of soliciting a lifelong commitment — there is simply too much opportunity for error or misunderstanding, and no chance to correct such quickly when they occur.
  • The person who makes a proposal is within his or her rights to demand an answer, which must also be made in person as above. “Yes” and “No” are the traditional alternatives, although “I need to think about it”, “Why can’t we just go on like this?”, and “Oh, baby, oh, oh, oh!” are acceptable variants of the latter.
  • As a corollary to the above, under no circumstances should “No answer” be accepted by either party as the basis for ending a desired relationship.

Eugene, Lucy — this is not romantic, touching, or poignant. It is stupid, and you two deserve exactly what you got.

Spider-Man, 10/14/11

You know, it occurs to me that I’ve neglected Spider-Man this week. It felt great, and I’m gonna keep it up.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/14/11

Loweezy is disappointed with her copy of Lisa’s Story: the Other Shoe: why hasn’t anybody shot Les yet, and what in tarnation are these “shoe” things, anyway?


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Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 5

Mark Trail — 5/14, 11/18, 11/21, 12/14, and 12/23/09





Stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting conclusion of Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits!

– Uncle Lumpy

222 responses to “Endless, stupid love”

  1. Comcis Fan
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    MW: And if he has a Pebbles Flintstone ponytail fixation.

  2. Droopy Says
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Hello, all you happy people.

    The Amusing Spiderman:Peter Parker has a problem with this secret-identity thing, doesn’t he? It isn’t just that he put a spider-symbol on his tracer, which has Heathkit all beat. It’s the idea of taking Que Sera’s phone, which for some reason has her number on her own speed-dial. He ought to be suspicious that she has a spare phone with her. What it has may be old-fashioned GPS, but that’s probably good enough to locate his couch. And think of the wackiness when MJ answers the phone and realizes hubby is getting a call from another woman.

    Mock Trail: Hey, yeah, Trail should thank her because, um . . . if they write the article together, she can add a woman’s perspective to the hot topic of Biblical goose-banding, while Trail can . . . hm, well, someone has to set out the lace doilies for tea time.

    Crankshat: Crazy, don’t mention reality when you’re talking to Spiro Agnew.

    Wrecked Morals, MD: “See, dear, they’re going out in the boat so Daddy can tell the clean-cut boy how to seduce goth jail bait, and they both know better than talk in front of witnesses.”

    Smug Parker: You mean you’re having homosexual fantasies about Bubu Chibale? He’s Rudolph Valentino and you’re Vilma Banky? Okay, cool, the comics are ready for gay romance in their stories . . . uh, there is a story in here somewhere, isn’t there?

    The Abusing Spiderman: Your only hope is a woman who not only works for your biggest enemy, but has actively trashed your reputation while romancing the enemy? Idiot. Why don’t you do something intelligent, like call the cops and ask them to check the security-camera videos in the Croesus Jewelry Shop? Get them to trace the ownership of the getaway car that you creatively stopped? Or get your lazy ass in gear and find the Big Boss?

    Pluggers: Technological progress leaves a Plugger’s life ever more barren, because when someone’s at work they can’t call their cell phone . . . they can? Damn technology and the way it deprives Pluggers of reasons to whine!

  3. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (Y245): Heart is going as Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. She’s going to auction off all of Dean’s stuff while he’s away.

  4. Not Greg Evans
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp 10/14/2011: The emphasis in Mrs. Coach Gil Thorp’s comment is misplaced. It should have read “Sounds like he’s born not to play football,” because clearly she has just waded waist deep into the debate about what causes autism spectrum disorders.

  5. Anonymous
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    Marm: He’s more like 99 of the second thing. And he plans to be the first dog to take over Wall St.!

    (BG&)SS: Odd choice of when to look coy, Weezie.

    FW: Hey! Construction guy! You’re just a gimmick in an drawn-out end of a soppy story! I’d just quit if I were you! Just walk out! Your snoopy privacy-busting will work better in Mary Worth, anyway.

  6. Doctor Handsome
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    Any book over 200 pages is thick enough to be hollowed out to conceal a pistol. To facilitate a wedding, or a murder.

  7. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    Barney (AWOL) Google & SS: Day 5394 since the last appearance of Barney Google in this strip. Isn’t it time that Sheriff Tait investigates?

  8. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:44 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#6): Like I said, where the heck is Barney? Is there some shallow grave near Hootin’ Holler, maybe near Snuffy’s abandoned still?

  9. Doctor Handsome
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    I guess I’m just willfully ignorant of how newspaper Spider-Man works, but in the comic books, spidey-tracers are keyed in to Peter’s spidey-sense, so that he can tail bad guys. But yeah, I guess they work the opposite way too. Why not.

  10. Doctor Handsome
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    What, are you gonna spend all day reading tragically unrequited love letters, or are you gonna get your lazy ass back on the bulldozer? Fucking Teamsters.

  11. The Ghost of Jarrod
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Thank you for calling shenanagans on big public proposals. Those are only legit if the couple has already agreed to get married,* and are just doing “the proposal” for fun. otherwise, all it really says is, “I know if I ask you in public you’ll feel like you have to say yes.”

    *Not impossible; my ex-wife and I had booked the reception hall before I proposed.I still did so privately, however.

  12. Doctor Handsome
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:04 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#9): Oops. In my drunkenness, I transposed the pronouns. I guess they’re being consistent with the spidey-tracers. But why does he need a spidey-tracer if he already has her phone number? Newspaper Spider-Man still sucks farts.

  13. Doctor Handsome
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    “Marmaduke also classifies himself as a ‘power top.’ May God have mercy on you.”

  14. Some Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:59 am [Reply]

    Hey everyone, check out today’s Shortpacked! for the comic strip crossover we all want to see!

  15. dale
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:06 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#6):

    In the simplest case, 200 pages is only 100 sheets.
    I measured a novel, which happened to be on thick paper, and figure a 200 pager might give you 0.6 inches to work with.
    Got any pistol recommendations?

  16. dale
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:18 am [Reply]

    Is the Mark Trail writer stupid or does he intentionally create stupid characters?
    Does Kelly expect Andy to come back and tell her where they went?
    She has to follow McQueen with or without Andy.
    And if Andy catches up with McQueen? He doesn’t seem too bright, but he might figure something is going on.

  17. Some Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    A3G: “And the ceremony at the unholy shrine in their basement!”

    RMMD: Rex and Niki have to “talk”. About “fishing”.

    FW: Failed Bookshop Guy is clearly thinking that this is exactly what drove all his other customers away. And he doesn’t blame them one bit.

    HtH: Hagar is a proud subject of the King of Norway, and has no truck with the modern, Icelandic notion of the Alþing.

    DT: So two sentences about feeding dogs are code for robbing a specific bank on a specific day of the week (not the one mentioned in the sentences). I would really like to see that codebook!

  18. Mibbitmaker
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#5): ….is MY post!

    Didn’t even notice when I posted it.

  19. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-The only thing this book is good for is the outhouse.

    Love Is-A freshly blown dick.

    MT-This who back and forth with Andy is getting tedious when are they going to move the plot along.

    MW-Don’t worry Gina Bobby will get your message long after you are dead and the hotel has been torn down.

    FW-It’s funny because he doesn’t like Facebook like so many other comic strip artists.

    Gasoline Alley-Yay! The old lady has saved us from another day of listening to this guy shilling for the US Mint.

    FC-That sounds like a drug code to me.

  20. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:40 am [Reply]

    @dale (#16):

    Kelly has watched too much Scooby Doo and is expecting him to talk at any minute.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    This time, with my “handle” on it….

    A3G: LuAnn: “No, I don’t get any say at all! It’s like getting married to a family of Margos!”

    9CL: …….Aaaand back to good again. McEldowney must be getting whiplash lately!

    Curtis: “Jackpot!”, said his mother…

    Garfield: Jon is a member of the Blackfoot tribe! (*rimshot!*)

    GT: “Does not compute!”, says Gil.

    Love is… getting aroused without any genitalia.
    (well, either love, or whatever she slipped in his drink)

    MW: Nobody likes a wishy-washy stalker.

    RMMD: Great lie, Ma. At least Joannie Cunningham got to go to her freakin’ room!”

    6C: “…They’re so puzzling!”

    Popeye: “I’d does alot wit’ ye, Olive, but I draws th’ line at ‘ungoldeng beaskialiky showers’! (what is we, a Tijiuanka bible or somet’in’?)”

  22. John C Fremont
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    JP – “I have a theory about Bubu, but I’m afraid to tell anyone because it would mean revealing the secret location of my pic-a-nic basket!”

    Oh, those Yogi jokes just never get old, right? Right?!

  23. gleeb
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: There are, of course, no other customers, just the voices in Insane Harry’s head.

  24. Chareth Cutestory
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#12): According to the wiki on Spider-Man’s equipment, spider-trackers work with his spider sense within 100 yards and haven been documented to about 20 miles with a separate receiver. How either of those numbers beat a global positioning system, I guess has to deal with their accuracy within very tight quarters. But then–OHDEARLOD I’M STARTING MY DAY THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT SPIDER-MAN CRAP

  25. terrapin
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    FW: There’s just not enough vomit in the world to accurately express how sick I am of this strip.

    RMMD: Ha ha. “Fishing.” I get it.

  26. Jonn
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    Given the look on Marmaduke’s face, I am seriously wondering how the pollster is maintaining bowel control.

  27. Swordsmith
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    FW: Stopping in at a store and bothering other customers (particularly a bookstore, which is, perhaps because of a childhood of Library rules, perhaps the store where customers least want to hear any noises) and annoying the staff is NOT like Facebook. In Facebook you are saying things to people who are actively seeking conversation, AND who have the power to ignore you. If you don’t believe me, look at the face of the bookstore owner, who is clearly having trouble stifling his desire to at last scream “shut up shut up shut up” at this ignorant boob who is torturing him with mindless chatter during the heartrending last moments of his store’s existence.

  28. Snowshoecat
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#17): Trivia: Funny you should mention the King of Norway. He’s in Duluth, MN this week. Cool, huh?

    Well, okay. I guess not. But the Sons of Norway are pretty excited.

  29. Illustrator Steve
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s Greatest “HITS”, Part #5: Looking over part 5 of Mark Trail’s greatest hits it suddenly became clear to me that Mark Trail’s creator, the late Ed Dodd along with his sidekick, Jack Elrod are obviously responsible for all the violence and unrest going on all over the globe these days. Before these two clowns started this violent comic strip this planet was like a nice small quiet village in Canada, but nooooo, that wasn’t good enough for these guys. They had to create a cartoon caracter that punches anything that shows human emotion. And now, over the past eight decades that Mark Trail has been published, this planet has become as messed up, upset and violent as the passengers were in the original “Airplane” movie when they were told they would crash unless someone on board knew how to fly an airplane!
    I think Jack Elrod should be scheduled for world court hearings in the Hague ASAP to answer up to what he has done to our planet and stop it already so this planet go back to being as quiet as say, a RCMP mother’s cabin in a nice quiet little valley, but without any smelly geese! (Maybe we should get FOXnews to look into this one!)

  30. Effluvius Erratus
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    JuPa: Sorry Judge Jr., but “I think I may have maybe met him on Grindr once…or twice” isn’t so much a theory as an embarrassing admission.

  31. AeroSquid
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Starchie: Either Arch got into the ‘plants’ at the Riverdale Generic Item Plant or the roles of Moose and Midge are being played by Archie and Veronica.

    BB: The one Beetle was tied to last night…..because of his attitude.

    ‘Shaft: As a tear streamed down Demolition Man’s face, he reflected upon his own little life. Many thoughts went through his head as he clenched the old letter. Such as: ‘Did I set the DVR for the ‘1000 Ways to Die’ Marathon’ and ‘Why the hell didn’t I get tickets for the Blazes’ big game ?’

    Conk: I expected cool, funky AFRO’s and what did I get ? KID N’ PLAY !

    DtM: Just like he ‘fixed’ Mr. Wilson’s car earlier that morning.

    DT: “Saaaaaaaay. Isn’t Pat an IRISH name ? And aren’t cops IRISH ? “

    Winky: “What the hell is Facebook ? How about I slam this three-pack of Lisa’s Story into your face ? Is THAT Facebook ? Hahahaha !”

    Luann: I used to get hopped up on Jolly Goof Balls in the 70’s.

  32. gleeb
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: While Unca Lumpy’s suggestions about marriage proposals are sensible, it shouldn’t detract from the censure that nasty old Lillian richly deserves, and not just for being part of Crankshaft.

  33. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Beetle: They’re all so damn close together, does it really matter?

    Crank: TOTALLY agree. Eugene’s method of proposing to Lucy was unromantic, open-ended and just plain stupid.

    FW: …..*gag*……

    Luann: Booooooring.

    Marvin: Kick his ass anyway, Jenny.

    MW: This is far more ridiculous than anything that Lynn of the FOOB could dream up……and that’s saying a lot.

    RMMD: The angst of awkward teen sex, what else?? Now eat your peas.

    Archie: There are real reasons why Archie is still in High School after all these years.

    Love is…: Doing the “drunken pee-pee” dance.

  34. UncleJeff
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Demolition Man tracks down Eugene. Meets him at the door of his house and reads the undelivered letter he found at the old ballroom.
    Next panel: a “toes up” view of Eugene, who has suddenly dropped dead, and Demolition Man with the “Bluto in the Dean’s office with the dead horse” expression from “Animal House”.

  35. UncleJeff
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    And please don’t bother the customers in the “adult” section of the bookstore.
    They have their hands full.

  36. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MT – ‘You should thank me, Mark, and let me work sleep with you.’

    Corrected…

  37. UncleJeff
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Uh, that was for “Funky”

  38. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Frazz: *chuckles* GO GREEN!!!! (as background, tomorrow is the big in-state rivalry game here in Michigan, Mallett is making an oblique reference to it.)

    Doons: +1 for the scotch, -5 for the Absorbine Jr.

    Lio: everything is better with flamethrowers!

    SB: hottest Egyptian babe in the funnies in ages.

    Bizarro: *dies laughing*

    JUMBLE: *groan*

    Ghost-who-forms-a-tag-team: I expect that a hardcore tag-team match will be required to prove this?

    rMC: YES!!!!! my favorite Ashley strip ever!!!! (and second favorite Brain Trust one as well.)

    Retail: featuring grawlixes.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . when the Viagra/roofie cocktail kicks in.

  40. wossname
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    JP – Has there ever been a case in a work of fiction where “I’m afraid to tell anyone” has not immediately been followed by telling someone?

  41. Dood
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: A weddin’, a murder, or both. Heckfire, that’s a good day in Hootin’ Holler.

  42. Dood
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Seriously, I don’t want to hear your theory about your Bubu. No, really.

  43. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#17): DT: So two sentences about feeding dogs are code for robbing a specific bank on a specific day of the week (not the one mentioned in the sentences). I would really like to see that codebook!

    So would a lot of unsavory criminal types, SG. Get in line!

    (Hint: It involves logarithms, and an obscure 19th century English schoolboy rebus.)

  44. Not Just Any Dipstick
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Nice hotel. Blondes groping guys in suits. If only Mary knew…

  45. Cloudbuster
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Niki, if you want to fish for a girl like Kelly, you should use the bait I always use. Jail bait.”

  46. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#28): Guess we know what the Lake Wobegon monologue will be about.

  47. Not Just Any Dipstick
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#41): More like a slow day.

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in Alaska.

    cross-reference WIN. (with Bowie-sauce.)

    and you thought that the sharks with frikkin’ lazors were bad?

    lolsnark

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:40 am [Reply]

  50. word-doctor
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    SM-Why would you need to give her a phone with the number on speed-dial, rather than just giving her a number? Do you also flush the toilet while peeing in the shower?

  51. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Luann – One man’s ‘jolly goofball’ is another’s ‘insufferable jerk.’

  52. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    FW: Hey, kids! I’ve got a great idea! What if the bookstore started serving Montoni’s Pizza? All of Westview would flock to the store to consume their only form of sustenance, and as a bonus, book sales would soar as patrons were forced to purchase the books they soiled with pepperoni grease while browsing! Yay!

    MW: This is the most passive-aggressive stalking I’ve ever seen.

    Pluggers: But…those two things aren’t analogous. If you pick up the phone and press “1,” nothing happens. Once again, the joke is that Pluggers are old and don’t understand how things work. HA! Ha! Ha….ha. *sigh*

    S4th: First panel laugh-out-loud win!

    GF: Possibly-seriously-injured-Siamese-cat-splayed-paw squee!

  53. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Crank: Woulda worked better as a pop song.

    “Knock three times
    On the brass rail if you want me,
    A Boche double-tap
    If the answer is no…”

  54. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – I believe reading the letter has helped keep that guy down in the freshly-disturbed asbestos just about long enough. Time for “Phase Three: Cancer!”

    Crock – Ha ha, he’s going to be killed. Aw, I wet myself.

    love is… enjoying that special time of year when your dead love walks.

    Mary – We see a lot of reuse of art by some cartoonists here, but this is the first time I’ve noticed Giella re-using Mary’s face for a character who’s supposed to be young and attractive.

    Nancy – Blah blah blah blah blah Hallmark Card blah blah… hey, I have an idea! Reprint the Ernie Bushmiller strips! Or even the Al Plastino strips!

  55. Pozzo
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    BigDog: Thanks for the shading. Any day I don’t have to look at Marmaduke’s junk is a good day.

  56. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#247): Little-known fact—Smaug was actually female.
    I liked it when Elmer “Wotan” Fudd screams out the dragon’s name in a climactic moment of “What’s Opera, Doc?” [footnote: Mel Blanc delivered that one word in the cartoon because he could shout better than Arthur Q. Bryan.]

    Uncle Lumpy – Greatest Hits, part 5. Darned if I don’t remember some of that differently! And I’d forgotten that he ever broke into a store because an issue of a Boy Scout magazine was in some sort of jeopardy.

    @dale (#15): In the simplest case, 200 pages is only 100 sheets.
    I measured a novel, which happened to be on thick paper, and figure a 200 pager might give you 0.6 inches to work with.

    Books in Hootin’ Holler tend to be printed on cardboard pages with rounded corners.

  57. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#49): Corgsqui link takes me to a Tumblr sign-in page. :( But leafotter is qlunq-worthy.

  58. Roto13
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    “This phone has my number on speed-dial.” That’s your voicemail, ducky.

  59. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#48): A little verse for you and the Bourbon Babe:

    Relative Misfortunes

    I grieved that my hat I could not find,
    Then I met a man who’d lost his mind.
    I asked how he came to these sad lots,
    He drooled, then gibbered, “Battleshots.
    First I played with one called queek,
    And that is when my brain grew weak,
    Then I played with Bourbon Babe,
    Which left my mome raths all outgrabe.”

  60. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    S-M: Cool. She’s gonna rid him of all his engrams. He’s got the makings of a Thetan, that much is self-evident.

  61. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#54): Nancy – Blah blah blah blah blah Hallmark Card blah blah… hey, I have an idea! Reprint the Ernie Bushmiller strips! Or even the Al Plastino strips!
    Hallmark? I was thinking Edgar Guest, but he had too much class for that. Come to think of it, so does Hallmark – you may owe them an apology. How about, Nancy Minus Nancy?

  62. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#52) on FW: “Hey, kids! I’ve got a great idea! What if the bookstore started serving Montoni’s Pizza?”

    Truly a win-win. A storeroom full of unsaleable books yields considerable short-term savings on their flour bill.

  63. sporknpork
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Serra (fourth panel): “Help, police! Spider-Man just stole my cell phone in order to stop me from writing more news articles exposing him! I’ve got his Spidey Tracker as proof!”

  64. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#62): The Tarzan Bookstore combines with Montoni’s Pizza – a brilliant synergy of the Unreadable with the Inedible!

  65. anonymous
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: A Plugger actually “works at a bank”???????

    Guess the Plugger at your local bank – teller? (of course not)
    Bank manager? (of course not)
    Loan officer? President? …..How about that fat load, in a uniform, lounging around, looking vaguely like a security guard? That’s my Plugger! Second choice: cleaning crew after hours.

  66. These Strange Worlds
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Three gold bands to area code 77377? What are the odds? Time for a CC meeting in North Houston?

  67. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#64): But like so many bookstores-cum-eateries these days, it needs a kickier name. Something like “The Ample Barsoom”.

  68. teenchy
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#27): Whenever I read the phrase “shut up shut up shut up” I think of this, which is what I always want to say to Batiuk. You’re a Luddite, we get it already.

  69. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

  70. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#67):

    I try to avoid bookstore cum-eateries wherever possible. Luckily, you can find pretty much anything online these days without the walk of shame into those places, or the dry-heaves when you notice your shoes sticking to the floor.

  71. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#68): My goodness, I think I’ve found my new ringtone. That, or my other favorite Mars Attacks! line: Ackackackackack.

  72. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – ‘No, no, no! It’s two longs and a short for the bank! Two shorts and a long is the livery stable!’

    As long as we’re doing the oldsters hate change thing here, may as well go all the way…

  73. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    BTW, that “X-cum-Y” construction. A certain bloodless columnist used the phrase “revolution-cum-encampment” to characterize a certain current protest, asking “who loves” these guys? I sought to comment that it was surely envy that prompted the columnist to employ this patently Freudian combination in the context he chose.

    Strangely enough, the WaPo allows columnists to use a particular three-letter Latin term in this construct, but when it’s enclosed in quotes and repeated as part of a comment, the whole comment hits the memory hole without warning. Their Grundys are no classicists.

    Boy, I love this place.

  74. Anselm
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    FWThe irony about luddite Batiuk’s recent cliched rant against modern technology is that the only way I have been able to read his pathetic strip is through my iPhone. Doesn’t he realize that Steve Jobs died of cancer too! I am surprised Batiuk isn’t ready to canonize and enshrine the late great CEO in his strip.

    SpidermanThe amazing, genious Spiderman is so stupid that he doesn’t realize that he probably could be tracked and located electronically by this cell phone. My guess is that this reporter will likewise be too stupid to realize this too.

    Crank Say what you want about the unrequeited love story of Crankshaft, but keep in mind it has keep the titular character of the strip out of our lives for a few weeks. For that we should all be grateful.

  75. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#73): Interesting. But you know Miss Grundy over at Archie loves her some Latin.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Anselm (#74): Spiderman is so stupid that he doesn’t realize that he probably could be tracked and located electronically by this cell phone. My guess is that this reporter will likewise be too stupid to realize this too.

    But maybe the evil publisher, whatshisface (I can’t be bothered to look it up), is smart enough, and that’s going to be the McGuffin here. Or am I giving the writers too much credit?

  77. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @Anselm (#74): re: FW. But as we’ve seen numerous times, the Batiukverse doesn’t have Apple. It has Pineapple. Pineapple Inc’s CEO is named Steve Job (pronounced like the Biblical character) and is still suffering nobly from his cancer. Also, the Pineapple version of the iPhone is called the lesPhone, and the new voice module is called Lisa.

  78. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    BB: Well, I suppose that “beaten down into a crumpled, sad heap” is an “attitude.”

    MW: Yes, you sit there, Gina, in your Dream-of-Jeannie ponytail and your purple ensemble. And when Bobby strolls by with his teammates, high on victory, testosterone, and thoughts of wild soccer-groupie sex, he’ll look over at you, point, and whisper to the guys—whereupon the whole crew will burst into raucous laughter. Then you’ll have your answer.

    MT: Why does Kelly speak with ellipses? Is it because girls have more periods?

    MT’s Greatest Hits #1: And so we learn that Mark’s first foray into blowjobs did not go as well as he’d hoped.

  79. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#24): Doesn’t that require a functioning, useful spider-sense? Something which, I remind the jury, is not in evidence in this strip?

    @Snowshoecat (#28): Huh, really? Guess that means Enger Park is gonna be overrun with press or something.

    A3G – You know, it’s nice that, for once, my screaming at a comics character to STOP BEING STUPID AND PAY ATTENTION is being echoed by a character within the strip. And even nicer that said character is not being depicted as some awful, awful person for daring to question the Plot.

    Crankshaft – Here, on the other hand, not only is my screaming that YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID ignored, their stupidity is painted as some oh-so-romaaaantic tragedy. What a stupid crock of shit.

    Curtis – So that head’s genetic? Ms. Nelson ought to thank her lucky stars.

    DT – “I’m glad it wasn’t the credit union. ‘I Enjoy Being A Girl’ isn’t even the best song out of that particular musical, for God’s sake.”

    F- – This looks like the start of an awesome road comedy.

    FC – …what.

    FW – “It was like Facebook, in the real world. By which I mean that it was a cheap substitute for human interaction that didn’t demand the kind of effort or risk a real relationship does but temporarily made me feel like I wasn’t a pathetic, friendless loser. Also, everything we said was being monitored by spies from the advertising industry. I could tell because they all wore navy blue hats. You don’t wear a navy blue hat if you don’t have something to hide. Just ask the guys from Majestic 12!”

    GT – Introducing the new Apple iSquint! Large screens are passé, we’re making them smaller!

    HOTC – NO SHIT, MAN. [*]

    JP – “He’s drawn to me…to my raw animal magnetism. Check me out, man, you gotta admit.”

    MT – IF YOU KNEW WHERE HE WAS AND YOU WANTED TO FOLLOW HIM WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ANDY

    MW – She sent her package? Lordy, those witness-protection guys really went all-out, didn’t they? Nice of them to let her keep it, though.

    Pluggers – Fifty years ago, Pluggers remembered party lines and hated this newfangled operator stuff.

    RMMD – “Don’t patronize me, Mom. I’ve heard what you make Dad do late at night. Let’s play a game where you guess where I’m sending the tapes if you cross me, eh?”

  80. TheDiva
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: I’m an introvert by nature, and I consider myself a much more eloquent and effective communicator when I’m writing than when I’m speaking (scary, I know). That said, if Eugene couldn’t bring himself to propose to Lucy’s face even though they live in the same small town, it doesn’t speak well for their future happiness as a couple and Lillian was probably doing them a favor in the long run.

    I’ll also jump on board with the wacky proposal disdain–it seems like another symptom of the “let’s prove our love by making a big expensive production of things!” problem that plagues too much of the marriage process already.

    SM: While I’m not a technophobe of Plugger or Tom Batiuk-ian levels, I will admit that early adaption is not my strong suit. So help me out here–is handing out smart phones pre-programmed with your contact information the “thing” these days? Are business cards now considered passe?

    A3G: “Well, Paul says I can choose my very own room at the wives’ compound…”

    FW: “Actually, now that I think about it, it was nothing like Facebook. But that’s beside the point, which is that change is evil and change brought about by technological advances is the evilest kind of evil in the world.”

    MT: No really, Mark, you should thank her. I mean, what have YOU done to get the plot moving lately?

    MW: If all of Gina’s efforts to contact Bobby have gone astray, but he just happens to meet her in the hotel bar anyway, I am personally going to hunt down Karen Moy.

    Pluggers don’t understand why they can’t call the national 1-800 number for a business and be instantly connected with one person who works at their local branch of said business.

  81. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#29): Hmmm. . . . One of my students is writing an essay on post-9/11 pop culture, and she’s focusing on Jack Bauer. But your comment makes me realize that I should have steered her to Mark Trail instead!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#59): Hee! Drinks + Jabberwocky = WIN.

  82. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#61): Nancy minus Nancy? Take out Fritzi and her unibrow and constant shout-outs and it’s a deal.

  83. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#57): well drat.

    lets try it again shall we?

    bonus: corgi sez good humin, now STAY!

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#59): what bb,u said. :-D

  85. Snowshoecat
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#79): “Huh, really? Guess that means Enger Park is gonna be overrun with press or something. ”

    Yep. How terribly sad. Then the outsiders will arrive and turn a hitherto unspoiled corner of the world into civilization. If only we had Ranger Rick — or whatever is the name of that very popular Mountie– to protect us.

  86. But What Do I Know?
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    JP — “I have a theory about Babu, but I’m afraid to tell anyone.” Really? Because this same freaking conversation has been going on for a week now and something new needs to happen!

    DT — That’s some code they had worked out! Cracking the Enigma machine was easier!

    MW — So is that Hotel California that Gina’s hanging out in?

  87. sporknpork
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    I’m very thankful the artist hid Marmaduke’s angry, angry erection in shadows.

  88. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#81): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#84): I showed my wife the deluxe edition pic, and she insists that I build one for our next party. Sadly, I’m not much of a carpenter. I guess the best way to do it is build the ships first and scale the table up from there. Unless you’ve actually seen plans somewhere?

  89. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#85): The Duluth News-Tribune says hundreds of Sons of Norway groups are coming by bus from Minnesota and Wisconsin! We’ll be overrun!

    Of course, they’ll all get logjammed by the CONSTRUCTION THAT HAS CHOKED UP I-35 FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS and most of them will never make it downtown, but still!

  90. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Flunky: Remember, kids: if it’s modern, it’s bad! If it’s online, it’s not real! If it hasn’t been given the fiat of Batiuk, it’s unholy!

    GT: Are they still talking about Brody? Because it sounds like they’re talking about Gunther from Luann.

    Juggs Perfect: Wait, after weeks of obsessing about the Egyptian-monikered Saudi stalker diplomat, suddenly it’s “I don’t think he means me harm”? And why do I feel that this “new theory” will take weeks to explain?
    Sigh. Didn’t think it possible, but I miss Sam and Abbey and the land yacht plotline.

    Merrily Worthless: What’s that definition of insanity again? Doing the same thing over and over with expectations of a different outcome? Meet Gina, the walking definition of insanity.

    PBS: How gauche! Rat, le bete noir of the avant-garde!

    Plug-grrrs: Pluggers still use rotary phones and party calling, and their phone numbers still run along the lines of “Dogwood 555.” L’il Plugalong there must be looking forward to the day when he gets his first dial-up AOL account twenty years or so from now.

    RMMD: God help me, I thought June said “fisting” in the last panel.

    Here’s some anti-snark: One comic that never seems to get attention here is Tiny Sepuku, so I’ll give it the spotlight. It’s available on Yahoo!’s comics page. I’ve really grown to love it.
    Ditto for Tom the Dancing Bug.

  91. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#43): Hmmm. Didn’t they use that in The Doberman Gang?

  92. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Anselm (#74): But Jobs died of Evil Technology Cancer. Lisa died of Good Old-Fashioned Cancer.

  93. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#78): “MT: Why does Kelly speak with ellipses? Is it because girls have more periods?”
    COTW nominee!

  94. This Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Anselm (#74): [FW] Oh, Batiuk would never do a tribute to Steve Jobs. The suffering of cancer is his and his alone, expressed only via the soul-wrenching tribulations of his avatars. I’d sooner expect him to try suing Apple for patent infringement.

  95. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke-The writer finally acknowledges the truth about his creation. Even he is scared of Marmaduke.

    Zits-Teeangers don’t know of anything beyond their electronic devices.

    Archie-Oh Archie, what did you do this time? Have you finally snapped and killed your parents? Did you kill Jughead in a fit of jealous rage?

    A3G-By priest I mean Linski family cult leader.

  96. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#91): Ha! And I thought I was into obscure references!

  97. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#95): A3G-By priest I mean Linski family cult leader.

    If they start serving Kool-Aid at the reception, be wary.

  98. Shrug
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#89):

    “@Snowshoecat (#85): The Duluth News-Tribune says hundreds of Sons of Norway groups are coming by bus from Minnesota and Wisconsin! We’ll be overrun!”

    Tell them about the peaceful valley in Manitoba where there’s a crazy lady who bands geese with Bible verses, and they’ll go overrun that instead. (We Norwegians do love the old country and its king, yabetcha, but not even that can compete with the wonders of goose-banding-land!)

  99. greghousesgf
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Marm–I’d say 10% lord and master of all he surveys and 90% squiggle drawn by a stroke victim.
    BG & SS–Loweezy can READ?!?

  100. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#98): We Norwegians do love the old country and its king, yabetcha, but not even that can compete with the wonders of goose-banding-land!

    Not even lutefisk or lefsa?

  101. Shrug
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#7):

    “Barney (AWOL) Google & SS: Day 5394 since the last appearance of Barney Google in this strip.”

    Somebody comes up with the idea of GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD and everyone thinks it’s brilliant. Someone came up with the idea of BARNEY GOOGLE MINUS BARNEY GOOGLE and keeps it up for fifteen years or so and all he gets is criticism.

    (Actually I think Barney Google found out too much about fixing horse races and had to go into the witness protection program, where he changed his name to Barney Bing.)

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#101): True story: A while back my local newspaper launched a reader survey to see what comic strips to get rid of, including an opportunity to vote on several possible new strips to add. I wrote the editor demanding that they launch an investigation as to the whereabouts of the “star” of BG, suggesting foul play. He replied, “Hm. Should I assign a couple of investigative reporters to this… or just Google it?”

  103. odinthor
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Bliss. — Me, I prefer pointillist chicks with a heavy impasto. Rowr!

    Meaning of Lila.Spatial! It’s Mary Worth who (thinks she) has acuity in special relationships.

  104. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#101): Are you sure Barney didn’t change his name to Gina Jimenez?

  105. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    C-Shaft: The demolition worker has been lying in the filthy rubble of this ex-ballroom for quite some time now, reading this mirthmaking heartbreaking letter. Is it possible in this day and age to catch a lethal dose of tetanus? It’s Westview, so we should find out soon.

    A3G: Margo won’t let Lu Ann use the grownup scissors, but Ruby’s right, this is somehow worse.

    MW: I’m buggered if I know why Gina is gesturing so rudely at the unseen Englishman in the last panel.

    Shoe: Since when do crystal balls have two eyes, never mind a third?

    SFx: How to make a drawing that will put Roy Horn into a fetal position.

    Phantom: “… and anyway mom said I can keep him.”

    BB: “It’s the one that says bad motherfucker.”

    GT: “It sounds like he’s never going to play football, short of some kind of contrived plot twist.”

    DtM: Ruff: You’re such an asshole, Dennis.

    Pluggers: What the hell, people. Do Pluggers have genetic memory now? This kid could be electronic voice mail’s grandson.

    RMMD: Talking about fishing? Well, June’s not entirely lying to Sarah. Rex does take an interest in Niki’s rod.

  106. Missy S.
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Oh, you know Bobby will show. If the first panel is any indication, public hand jobs are no problem at his hotel and the fact that his message is from some “Gina Jimenez” will be purely incidental.

  107. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#105): GT: “It sounds like he’s never going to play football, short of some kind of contrived plot twist involving Wildcat being a total jerkoff.”

    Fixed it for you…

  108. teenchy
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#92): So will we learn one day that the woman who drove Funky off the road while talking on her mobile phone will die of brain cancer, caused by that very phone?

  109. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

  110. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#108): While she was phoning Amazon to place a book order instead of going to the Village Booksmith like she should have.

  111. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#96): I loved that movie as a kid. What a concept: bank-robbing dogs! And the theme song: “They were the doggonest gang that a man did ever see / All of them were animals, just like you and me …”
    Saw it again later in life and was disappointed at how little the Dobermans were used throughout.
    There are even two sequels: The Daring Dobermans and The Amazing Dobermans. Don’t remember anything about them.

  112. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#91): I thought it was from that old Warner Bros. cartoon –

    ‘This is a Doberman Pinscher. This is Doberman. Do you know what a Doberman Pinscher does?’ ***eeyouch!!!***

  113. Mr. Mxyzptlk
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    I was kinda enjoying the Crankshaft story-line with Lucy and Eugene til you pointed out how stupid it was. Thanks; you saved me a lot of undeserved tears.

  114. Uncle Lumpy
    October 14th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Mxyzptlk (#113):

    You’re welcome — it’s an important part of the Comics Curmudgeon core mission.

  115. DaveyK
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    24-Hours Later: “This stupid Spidey Tracer must be broken because it’s telling me Spider-Man spent the last 24 Hours doing nothing but watching TV.”

  116. Cloudbuster
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#90): “Sigh. Didn’t think it possible, but I miss Sam and Abbey and the land yacht plotline.”

    I also miss the Sophie and Guitar-Boy plotline and the Constance’s Rack, uh, I mean Elder Parker, plotline.

    I’m amazed that they’ve been able to make being stalked by a mysterious Arab so boring.

  117. Dood
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke: So, does stranger-humping fall into the “pet” part or the “lord and master of all he surveys” component?

  118. britbike
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Crank – all I could think when I saw the last panel was that the metal salvagers sure missed a big hunking brass rail when they checked the place before the tear-down started. An architectural antiques place would be able to get a fortune for it too. So, instead of selling the things of value, we’re just going to knock it all down. Makes sense only in the context of this Shared-With-FW world.

  119. geekwhisperer
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    It’s another technophobe extravaganza.

    Crankshaft goes on and on about a letter never received. A letter. I can’t think of the last letter I got that wasn’t asking for my tax deductible donation.

    Mary Worth’s Gina has sent not one but two messages by uniformed couriers.

    Beetle Bailey talks about and shows Sarge’s “Jeep”. They haven’t been used by the military since the mid ’80s.

    In Mark Trail they communicate by Dog-O-Gram.

    Pluggers are so old and terrified of modern technology that every other one is about some new, sad inability to interact with technology or a lament for the “good ole’ days”

    Spider man tries to be up to date, but they keep calling it “speed dial” rather than “contacts” or “favorites” and even his spidey-tech kinda sucks.

    zits is at least honest, with the son making fun of the father for it. Point for Griffondoor there.

    Funky Winkerbean just goes on and on about the new fangled gizmos and is so unclear about their usage Batiuk can’t even make coherent jokes regarding them [stick to what you know, Tom. Tumor humor].

    Is this what the comics have become? Daily installments of Ned Ludd’s journal?

  120. Juan mortyme
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#22):
    Excellent stab from the past, General, sir. I nearly spilled my beer on the keyboard.

  121. Marc
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth- How long does Gina think Bobby is going to be in town. He probably hasn’t even come back to the hotel. If the New York Blazes are like any real pro sports team, they checked out before the game, got on the bus to the airport right after the game, and flew to their next destination. And besides, even if for some reason the team decided to stick around town one more day, why wouldn’t he go out with his teammates and hit up the local nightlife (if there is any)?

    Luann- I want to punch the 7 layers of makeup off her face so bad.

  122. Red Greenback
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    “It’s better than GPS and it’s engraved with an inspirational passage from the TV Guide!”

  123. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Classic MT – I’m glad Bo joined the good side, now all we have to do is get Luke and Daisy and Uncle Jesse to do the same (perhaps Mark beating the crud out of Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane will help some).

  124. Tu'i
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    SQUIRREL!!!

    o, just a blowing leaf.

    nm.

  125. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#109): sorry there was a delay, but at least you got it! :-D

  126. Snowshoecat
    October 14th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#89): Sons o’ Norway:
    That is what Duluth and wherever-it-is-in-MarkTrailville have in common: ya can’t get there from anywhere.

  127. Snowshoecat
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#98):
    “Tell them about the peaceful valley in Manitoba where there’s a crazy lady who bands geese with Bible verses, and they’ll go overrun that instead.”

    Shrug, Some of my best friends are Norwegians, and two are singing for the king. If they do overrun that peaceful valley, I hope they don’t tell Kelly Welly there’s a news story that needs a “woman’s slant” up (down?) here. No husband will be safe.

  128. mollificent
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Wow, I’ve got Mudgeon neighbors! Hi guys! *waves*

  129. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#127): that’s not Kelly Welly’s “woman’s slant”, that’s the lutefisk.

    [*]

  130. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#95):

    Did you kill Jughead in a fit of jealous rage?

    In my mind it always goes the other way. Maybe Jughead is bearing down on him and Ronnie.

  131. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#121): got on the bus to the airport right after the game
    Considering that this is a pro soccer team, the Blazes probably get on the bus headed for the next city, not the airport.

  132. Swordsmith
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#90): I read Tom the Dancing Bug regularly, and commented on it a couple times but haven’t seen it get much play. Perhaps because it’s often political? But I get the impression that it doesn’t so much have a political agenda, as it finds politics one more rich source for mockery. Maybe it’s the Sunday-only nature of the thing that prevents people really following it.

  133. Baka Gaijin
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#25): “There’s just not enough vomit in the world to accurately express how sick I am of this strip.” There are a number of situations where I’m going to use this sentence, starting with There’s just not enough vomit in the world to accurately express how sick I am of EVILSCARYCLOWNS!

  134. This Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    I used to see (“read” would be too strong a term) Snuffy Smith in my childhood newspaper (more than 15 years ago), and I had never heard of this Barney Google person until I came here. I was baffled when I saw people referring to “BG&SS,” and when I found out what it stood for, I thought “What, did that strip introduce a new character?”

  135. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#107): So there is a reason for everything.

  136. Shrug
    October 14th, 2011 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#134):

    I also hear that Paul McCartney used to be in a band even before Wings….

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

  138. The Gringo Kid
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#136): Paul McCartney used to be in a band?!

  139. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#136): @Shrug (#136): The age of the person replying is determined by the response they give:

    Older person – ‘Yeah, it’s the Beatles.’
    Not quite so old – ‘He was?’
    Younger still – ‘What’s Wings?
    Too damned young – ‘Who is Paul McCartney?’

  140. Spotts1701
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#112):

    I prefer Charlie Dog, myself.

  141. Swordsmith
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#136): Years ago, back in the 80s, I overheard one of my employee’s saying to another, un-ironically “Paul McCartney used to be in a band before he became famous. It was called Wings.”

    Since then I’ve tried very hard never to overhear any of my employees.

  142. Baka Gaijin
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#128): I don’t have any nearby geese. I feel like I’m in witness protection but without the sporty pony tail.

  143. Scott Bot
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#140):

    ‘Have you got a Labrador?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Do you know where you can get a Labrador?’
    ‘No.’
    ‘Then shaadup!’

  144. Pseudo3D
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Archie: It’s easy to see know why Mr. Lodge doesn’t like Archie hanging around with his daughter.

    Curtis: Gunther’s father didn’t abandon his family because his wife, he just couldn’t stand that all of the heads of kids looked his

    Dick Tracy: I’ve kind of lost track of this storyline. Is he going undercover to go after the guys that murdered his would-be father-in-law?

    FW: “And then I lost all my friends…just like Facebook!”

    MW: That’s two pretty big ifs.

  145. Droopy Says
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Normal people don’t have anything to do with fancy, expensive modern tech, so Que Sera gives Parker the gizmo to establish her geek cred. This way we won’t be surprised to find she created the Big Boss when if this story random collection of incidents ever meanders into a Spiderman/Big-Boss confrontation.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are so behind the times, they named their kid “Hello Central.” (Okay, it was funnier when Twain made the joke.)

    Cranky: Construction Guy gives the letter to the local deadtree paper. A starry-eyed girl reporter does the legwork. She finds Eugene, who chuckles over the letter. “Haven’t thought about her in years!” he says. “Let you in on a secret. If she’d of wrote back and said ‘Yes,’ I’d’a pretended I never got her letter. I’d just figured out if I married her, I’d have to deal with her bitch of a sister.”

  146. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft-What’s missing from the letter is the check boxes for yes or no.

    Pluggers-Pluggers remember picking up the phone and hearing the sound of heavy breathing from the pervert down the street.

  147. Joshua
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#141): I appreciate the difference in your version. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone claim that they personally had heard some teenager say, “Hey, did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?”, well, I’d probably have enough money to buy lunch, or something like that. And most of those instances would probably have supposedly occurred long after Wings broke up. (My generation would have heard lots of Paul’s songs, but we wouldn’t personally remember the release of anything before Tug of War.)

  148. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man-This spider tracer will let me know where you are at all times. Even if you are in the shower it will let me know. I have yet to put a camera on it to let me see you where you are at all times.

  149. Liam
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke-Hours later the survey taker returned to work smelling of dog, fear, and shame. “They warned me of the house but I laughed it thinking they were trying to scare me. I wouldn’t listen,” he sobs reaptedly clutching himself, “I wouldn’t listen.”

  150. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#139): Complete waste of oxygen — “Wasn’t he married to Heather Mills from DWTS?”

  151. Snowshoecat
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#128): *waves back* I’ll bet you are very popular in the community.

  152. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#105) on BB:

    “It’s the one that says bad motherf–” “Shut cho mouf!

  153. Little Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Spoiler Twist: She murdered her husband.

    On*Spidey: “Gee, I’m sorry you’re in an accident, but if I call the police, they’ll locate me and be able to reveal my true identity….”

  154. Little Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    Just Pathetic: Babu better be Baba Booey, with Abbey on Howard Stern.

    S4th: Ted Forth, Greek Autotune.

  155. Pseudo3D
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#141): After one incident back in August, I also try not to look at what other people are buying in Walmart.

  156. Neigedens
    October 14th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Even though Crankshaft has been in my hometown paper for years and years and I’ve been reading it pretty much as long as I’ve known how to read, I had no idea of this whole backstory with Lillian and Lucy until Uncle Lumpy mentioned it the other day. I was going to say that that’s kind of depressing, but then I realized that not paying enough attention to know what’s going on in Crankshaft is probably a cause for celebration more than anything.

  157. This Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#136): The key difference being, of course, that The Beatles were, are, and will continue to be great, whereas Snuffy Smith keeps on being sack-crushingly awful. The thing is, I’d never seen the comic even labeled “Barney Google & Snuffy Smith,” regardless of whether this phantom Mr. Google has appeared in the strip in my lifetime (yes, according to ‘kipedia), so whatever coup allowed Snuffy Smif to take over must’ve happened more than 15 years ago (about 70-ish years ago, again according to ‘kipedia.)

  158. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#144): It looks like Archie’s driving a two-seater Corvair convertible. No worries, he should be safe at any speed.

  159. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Should I be worried that my goose hasn’t shown up on GOOSETRAX?

    Do you think Bobby got my message?

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#157): Agreed it’s awful. It has been awful from the beginning, even when Barney was the main character. The thing is, “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith” is still the official name of the strip, though apparently your newspaper drops the first part. You might find they use the full title on the Sunday strip. The main comics aggregation sites all list the full title (Slurper, SeattlePI, etc.).

  161. Rixter
    October 14th, 2011 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    MW & A3G: Are women routinely depicted in the comics as this stupid and weak?

    FW: Yes, spreading a patina of gloom over a core of despair, it’s the Funky-verse. And the whole scene is depicted in gray tones.

    MT: Egad! Kelly has a tattoo on her check that reads “10-14.” Has she been “banded” with a Bible verse, too? What could it mean?
    Judith 10:14 “When the men heard her words, and observed her face—she was in their eyes marvelously beautiful—they said to her…”

  162. Spunde
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    I think I will print up calling cards that say, “Your story is not romantic, touching, or poignant. It is stupid, and you deserve exactly what you got.” They may help in certain awkward social situations, like when someone starts talking to me about their life. They would certainly be more helpful than the, “Hey, I’m just here for the free booze,” cards I use now.

  163. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#161): “Are women routinely depicted in popular culture as this stupid and weak?”

    fixed that for you. See last week’s Sinfest strips for details.

  164. Droopy Says
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#144): The Dick Tracy storyline has a lot packed into it. Dick is going undercover to catch the gang. This is the gang that killed Tess’s father and abducted Tess. The gang abducted Tess because, for reasons not yet explained, they need a hostage to make their bank-robbery plan work.

    As part of the plan, the gang hired an out-of-town bomb maker named Beak Lawson. Lawson was arrested and jailed when he came into town. Dick, it turns out, looks a lot like him. My guess is that Lawson has a scruffy beard and hair.

    This story is a tribute to the first Dick Tracy story from 1931. One of the regular posters on Gocomics found it here:

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page1.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page2.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page3.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page4.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page5.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page6.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page7.jpg

    http://xroads.virginia.edu/~ma05/cline/Dick%20Tracy/story1page8.jpg

    The new team is doing a bit of a reboot.

  165. 150
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    My goose band came! I am OVERWHELMED WITH HAPPINESS. And tourists, for some reason.

  166. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Eagerly awaiting goose-band!!

  167. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#158): I’m guessing a ’67 Mustang 289 HO. A highstrung filly with granny gears, guaranteed to buck him in the ditch.

  168. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Neigedens (#156): That’s because, AFAIK, Batiuk just made it up a year or so ago. It was stupid then, too.

  169. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#161): Ok, how many 10:14s did you go through before you found that? Not Jer. 10:14 Every man is brutish in his knowledge…?

  170. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    Here’s to me being that last one in with my donation. And, if not, at least Josh gets more than my pittance.

  171. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#169): There are quite a few “10:14″‘s that would apply to Mark, but not so many for Kelly.

  172. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#164): Thanks for the links! Looks like they are following the old story pretty close. Interesting how much better the art is now – some things improve no matter what the Luddites say!

  173. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#164): Is it me, or does Dick swearing vengeance look like Ronald Reagan doing Charlie Brown’s “aggravated yelling at the sky” pose?

  174. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#101): “Barney Bing”? Hah! What a yahoo! You don’t need to ask Jeeves to know that the little guy’s probably in the dogpile by now.

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    MT Judging from the highlights in his hair, Mark certainly loves his pomade.

    Bryl-creem, a little dab’ll do ya,
    Bryl-creem, you’ll look so debonair.
    Bryl-creem, the gals will all pursue ya,
    They’ll love to RUN their fingers through your hair.

    Unless, of course, he’s a Dapper Dan man.

  176. Joe Blevins
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    (today’s zomby) AND 18 DELIGHTFUL SECONDS!

  177. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 14th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#174): I will leave it to Dingo to mention the story about definishing the trailer hitch during the Kenyan wilderness trip.

  178. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#157): Perhaps, reading the original run of the strip, you would find “Barney Google” awful, but it was hugely popular, spawning catch phrases. songs, and merchandise, and is hailed as a classic by many historians and critics. The Smithsonian comic strip collection gives lengthy examples of the strip’s continuity. This, of course, is circumstantial evidence and not proof, but I mention it anyway because I don’t think it’s quite fair to judge Billy DeBeck by the work of Shulock and Rose.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Barney show up for annual appearances within, say, the last six years, but I’m not wading through any archives to find I was off by a year or two.

    (I KNOW LOTSA STUFF! JUST ASK ME!!!)

  179. Écureuil Écumant
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#175): “Unless, of course, he’s a Dapper Dan man.”

    We sure know he’s not a hat man, except when taking the air on the Ilha do Pendeijo. But Sgt. McQueen’s hover-hat might change his mind, with its auto-avoidance of hat-brim Brylcreem spoogery.

  180. Poteet
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — You said it, Uncle Lumpy. Stupid! Stupid! And I’d like to think that Demolition Man is thinking to himself, as he reads the letter, “What a dumbass.”

  181. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178): (I KNOW LOTSA STUFF! JUST ASK ME!!!)

    Ok, I’ll bite. Mr. Old Man Muffaroo, do you know lotsa stuff?

    (You can tell me. I’m your friend. I’m not like the others.)

  182. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#181): Yes! Yes!! LOTSA STUFF!!!

    I’m glad your my freind! I wisht I knew how to make them smileey faces!!!

  183. Borborygmy
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#182): Wiki: “Lotsa Stuff: Stage name for a plus-sized stripper who worked burlesque shows in the Baltimore area in the late 1950s and early 1960s. -This article is a stub, you can improve… ” etc.

    Can you get me an autograph? She was the greatest! Literally.

  184. Just some guy
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy,
    I’ve admired you since you started filling in for Josh.
    Do you admire me too?
    If your answer is “yes”…
    meet me over on ChatRoulette.
    If you don’t come… I’ll know your answer and won’t bother you about it again.
    Love, Just Some Guy

  185. geekwhisperer
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Goose Band came in the mail! I honked for joy. Led to an interesting conversation with the wife:

    “Well, you see, hon…I read this blog… You know that old comic strip Mark Trail?…it’s about this forest ranger guy who like punches dudes with facial hair…This Mountie named McQueen…Gold goose bands with Bible versus…Dog Telegrams…Kelly Welly…”

    I could just see the wheels turning in her mind: “Oookay, he’s obviously not having an affair because this story is just too screwed up. It sounds like one of his odd little harmless diversions. I’m just going to roll my eyes and leave the room now.”

    Anyway, #89. Wooooo!

  186. Borborygmy
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Just some guy (#184): Say, are you shipping out to the War too?

  187. Sgt. Stoned
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Dagwood’s generation…that would be the roaring twenties, the jazz age, right?

    MW: If Bobby’s team won “the big game”, he will be snorting coke off a stripper’s tits about now. But don’t worry, he get back at you as soon as he’s done, Ginnie, or Ginger, or whatever your name is.

  188. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#185): I had a similar conversation with my wife. She was kindly and supportive until I suggested making up t-shirts and bumper stickers with “Ask me about my single digit CC biblical goose band.”

    I guess that is a lot to fit on a bumper sticker.

  189. The Ridger
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#90), @Swordsmith (#132): Tom and Tiny are both great, but like most of the great ones, they’re rarely snark-worthy.

    JP: I have a feeling Randy’s theory is that Bubu wants to steal his pickanick basket. That or give him lots of money, like the rest of the world…

  190. The Ridger
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I find it depressing that Batiuk is so blatantly ripping off As Time Goes By – except that, actually, both Lionel and Jean went ahead and got married to other people, Jean at least happily.

    But yes, honestly. Had Ernest never heard of misdirected or lost mail? Mail carriers who get tired of delivering and just dump their bags in the trash? Or who go through it to steal checks? I mean, this was a long time ago, when mail was pretty common and those stories even commoner…

  191. Mr. O'Malley
    October 14th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178): The original Barney Google was before my time, but I remember when Garfield was so popular that every second car had a Garfield stuck to the back window. And the strip wasn’t any better back then.

    @Swordsmith (#132): @The Gringo Kid (#90): I’ve been a fan of TtDB for years. He has so many good ideas and it’s only a weekly strip, so you have to follow it for a long time (or read a collection) to really get the full effect of things like “Lawyers for Children” or (my favorite) the talking pig who endorses bacon products.

  192. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#185): By a crazy coincidence, today my wife spontaneously told me I could donate some money to the CC and get a goose band. (You don’t have to tell me I’m a lucky guy. I know.)

    @Borborygmy (#183): Alas, the thing you ask for is not in my power to give.

    @Mr. O’Malley (#191): Indeed, I hated the strip then. Now I’m downright neutral about it. I don’t see how Garfield proves anything about any other strip, though.

  193. Mr. O'Malley
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#192): I’m just giving an example of a strip that was wildly popular for a while without being that good.

    I haven’t read any original Barney Google strips so I don’t know if it was better with the title character and his horse.

  194. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#192): @Mr. O’Malley (#191): If I understand Mr. O’Malley aright, his point is that a strip can be very popular, and very bad at the same time. De gustibus non est disputandum, but most of the comic strips I’ve seen from the 20s and 30s seem pretty lame to me. There are exceptions, but BG is not one of them. I suppose the relative paucity of other entertainment may at least partially explain their popularity with our grandparents. As for an explanation of the popularity of Garfield… there are some things that we were not meant to understand, as Mary Shelley put it in Frankenstein.

  195. Rixter
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#169): Oh, just Esther and Ruth. But you have to admit Judith has a fierceness to match Kelly’s. Will Sgt. McQueen end up with a tent peg in his head?

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#163): I see your point – I’ve been watching Twin Peaks reruns all night.

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#171): Yes, but Mark doesn’t have the cheek tattoo. Although I’ve noticed that he does sometimes wear a badge that says “El Rod” which is another way of saying “Tool.”

  196. commodorejohn
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#195): I kind of figured Sgt. McQueen had already had a tent-peg hammered into his skull. It would explain his logic.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    More thoughts on BG&SS. The old BG wasn’t that good, from what I’ve seen in various collections, and it’s hard for me to explain its popularity. But I have to say it was better than Rose’s SS. Namely, the characters in the old strip didn’t always laugh at their own jokes. In the new strip, they always do, which is horribly irritating. Typical new SS strip usually has two characters:
    Frame 1: Setup pt 1
    Frame 2: Setup pt 2
    Frame 3: Punchline, characters laugh, with their huge obscene tongues sticking out.
    Sometimes frames 2 & 3 are combined. It’s like having a laugh track, and that doesn’t work with visual comedy. If the reader can’t figure out it’s funny on his own, it aint.

  198. Esther Blodgett
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    I gotta say, the banners this time around are making me snort vodka out my nose. A terrible waste of good vodka, but kudos just the same.

  199. Mr. O'Malley
    October 14th, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): If there ever was a time for hillbilly humor, I think it’s long over.

  200. Chip Whittle
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#194):

    If I understand Mr. O’Malley aright, his point is that a strip can be very popular, and very bad at the same time. De gustibus non est disputandum, but most of the comic strips I’ve seen from the 20s and 30s seem pretty lame to me. There are exceptions, but BG is not one of them. I suppose the relative paucity of other entertainment may at least partially explain their popularity with our grandparents.

    There’s also that humor just changed, a lot, particularly around the Great Depression. You can see it in humor writers and movies and novels and comic strips…some of them, like P.G. Wodehouse or Percy Crosby’s comic strip Skippy you can still see why they’re funny. Some, like Finley Peter Dunne, you can mostly make out what the funny bits are supposed to be. And some are just baffling, like about half of Abraham Lincoln’s witticisms. (Real actual one: speaking to a dinner attended by New York City millionaires, Lincoln said, he was a millionaire too. At the last election he had a deficit of almost a million votes. … … … Well, there was a war on. But it makes that line about legs long enough to reach the ground pretty punchy.)

  201. Carly
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    So much going on in that one Marmaduke panel.
    *Marmaduke’s tail appears to be creating a small weather system there.
    *Ms. Hitler seems to be saying, “Oh, that silly dog, killing and eating people again. What can you do?”
    *I can’t tell if the random dude in this scene was doing some kind of door to door survey, or if that’s something Marmaduke is handing out. “Plz check 1 – pet [ ] lord and master [ ]“

  202. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#193): It might be more accurate to say “strips that were wildly popular in their time,” because things that were funny at some particular time may not manage to be funny for all times. I just went back and looked at some ancient Barney Google strips, and they don’t seem all that bad to me — particularly when compared to the mush that haunts its panels now.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#194): I expect we agree on “most” strips from the 20s and 30s. Let us say, 90 percent, per Mr. Sturgeon. Without knowing exactly how many strips there really were then and now, it’s hard to be sure, but I imagine the ratio of crap to noncrap may be the same now.

  203. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    ps: Barney Google was a gag-a-day much of the time, but also cultivated a continuity that kept people coming back; as did the Gumps and Popeye and so forth (just to mention some that were national manias). It’s a tragedy that the comics now have to try to follow the great acts of the past in three or four miniscule panels. It’s hard to compare. The smart ones have gone in for a simpler style that works better in the pinched arenas of today, though one or two brave, crazy nuts still battle for something like the lavish look of the olden days. (And whether or not Zippy is funny in a given day, there’s no stinting on the pen work.)

  204. Chip Whittle
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#199):

    If there ever was a time for hillbilly humor, I think it’s long over.

    There was a time, though. Remember the 30′s was also when Li’l Abner got going, and the 20′s-30′s brought us Bob Burns and Judy Canova, Lum and Abner, and pretty soon we’d get The Egg and I (which is actually set in eastern Washington, but is of the hillbilly style). And that’s just the stuff I remember offhand.

    Why hillbilly stuff, I dunno, but pop culture gets in these moods now and then.

  205. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#81): Damn! I want your students.

  206. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Zits (Saturday, Oct. 15): I’ve got a cell phone. I have to press “one” to dial long distance. I get charged extra for long distance. Long distance is still a thing, damn it! It hasn’t faded into obscurity like telephone books.

    Wait. This means that Jeremy actually doesn’t know anything about modern technology. He’s been faking it. In order to make it look like he knows what he’s talking about, he automatically mocks anything his father says when it comes to technology, and normally it works. But this time he’s given the game away.

    So the logical conclusion is … Jeremy is an insufferable prick with an IQ of a turnip! Ha! I figured it out!

    What do you mean, you already knew that?

  207. Poteet
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:47 am [Reply]

  208. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 15th, 2011 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178): I don’t know if I mentioned this or not at an earlier date, but when my uncle, Lawrence, was a young boy he really wanted a Barney Google ball. His father bought one and gave it to him saying, “Here’s your Lawrence doll, Barney.” From that time on he became “Barney” to everyone. His parents continued to call him Barney, and when he grew up and got married his wife called him Barney. I never even knew he had another name until I was in my teens.

  209. Mr. O'Malley
    October 15th, 2011 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    I enjoy a lot of the 1920s comics that I’ve read, but it stands to reason that the ones that are available for me to read now are the best ones.

    Hillbilly humor is an example of a style of humor that hasn’t lasted. It’s really based on an insulting stereotype of a certain group of people. That’s a kind of humor that was more popular years ago. Even Li’l Abner, which was quite an innovative strip in its time (before Al Capp went off the deep end) really makes me uncomfortable when I read it, except for the “Fearless Fosdick” Dick Tracy parody and other things like that.

    I can kind of see, in an intellectual kind of way, why people thought Amos & Andy was funny. It has something more in it than just racism, unlike its thankfully forgotten contemporaries like the Two Black Crows. But why Al Jolson was the biggest star of his day baffles me.

    Some humor is topical humor; it just becomes incomprehensible over the years. Even some of the Peanuts reruns about how hard it is for kids to learn to write with a fountain pen and the introduction of long-playing records must be baffling to many readers. We had an example just a few days ago of someone who didn’t know about playing the national anthem when a TV station went off the air. A lot of Finley Peter Dunne is like that—it’s like what reading Doonesbury will be in the 22nd Century.

  210. JupiterPluvius
    October 15th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#204): There was the brief renaissance of hillbilly humor with the “Beverly Hillbillies”/”Petticoat Junction”/”Green Acres” universe.

    And of course there’s always “Hee Haw.”

  211. This Guy
    October 15th, 2011 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#204): Lum and Abner? “Abner no baka!”

  212. Mr. O'Malley
    October 15th, 2011 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    @JupiterPluvius (#210): I feel differently about Hee Haw because the people who were doing it were more like that in real life (I’m thinking of Junior Samples), or at least had come from something like that. And it came from a tradition of humor that was played to that kind of people.

    The others were based on stereotypes put together by scriptwriters in Hollywood. The Beverly Hillbillies was a rip-off of Li’l Abner.

  213. My Memory Bank closes at 4:pm and has no night deposit slot
    October 15th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#147):
    Before “Wings” Paul McCartney and Barney Google had a band with John Lemon and Bingo Star. They had a manager named Snuffy Smith but he died while they were visiting the Harvey Krishna guru in the land of Pepper. (It’s a fact, just ask winkipedia).

  214. My Memory Bank closes at 4:pm and has no night deposit slot
    October 15th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#81):
    I agree, and if aces her Mark Trail essay and it gets enough recognition she or you may be able to sell her story to a book publisher who, after making a bundle may sell the story to a movie producer, who in turn would probaly want Keffer Sutherland to play the roll of Mark Trail, which in turn would most likely be the end of Keffer Sutherland’s acting career! (On another note… DAMN! I had no idea you’re a teacher, Bourbon Babe. That is excellent! But, now I feel I’ll have to make extra sure I use spellcheck everytime I post anything! Probably a good idea anyway, right?).

  215. Braniff
    October 15th, 2011 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: To the folks in Hootin Holler, anything by Stephen King, Tom Clancy, James Michener, Clive Cussler, Stephen Coonts, Harry Turtledove, Vince Flynn, Ray Bradbury, H. G. Wells or anyone on those lines would be beyond their comprehension.

  216. Braniff
    October 15th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#199): I think hillbilly humor is due for a comeback. Anyone who looks at all of the bragging by Iowans about how their place is the center of the universe would find plenty of fodder for jokes. Indeed, I think the next wave of comic strips, TV shows, Youtube videos and the like which make fun of rural bumpkins could be based on folks who live in Iowa.

  217. Sam L
    October 15th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    True story: the Brass Rail is also the name of a Torontonian strip club.

  218. ElkMeadow
    October 15th, 2011 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#209):

    it’s like what reading Doonesbury will be in the 22nd Century.

    I kinda doubt it. I think Doonesbury could very well have its first run still going, still edgy, still current. Mike and Mark and Alex could be in their graves–Tru does death very well–but there would be the characters of the 22nd century carrying on. Just don’t know who would be the main artist.

  219. ElkMeadow
    October 15th, 2011 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @JupiterPluvius (#210):

    I remember when they were all on, and then “All in the Family” came on, and that was the basically the death of hillbilly television, “Hee Haw” came later. Corny humor, though, went on to variety television shows, like “Sonny and Cher,” “Donny and Marie,” and so forth, with The Smother Brothers being the edgy show.

  220. ElkMeadow
    October 15th, 2011 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @Braniff (#218):

    Glee is from Iowa.

    “Kent State has a wonderful musical theatre program. And a macabre back story, so if you’re having a bad day, or you if don’t get the lead in the musical, you can say to yourself ‘You know what? Things really could be worse.’ ”

    –Emma Pillsbury (school guidance counselor) to Rachel and Kurt

  221. Doctor Handsome
    October 16th, 2011 at 5:04 am [Reply]

    @dale (#15): All we know is that the book is AT LEAST 200 pages (after which Loweezy got bored). The book we see in her hand can easily conceal a Derringer.

  222. dale
    October 16th, 2011 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#223):

    At #6, you said any book over 200 pages.
    My point is that 200 pages is tight. Got a Kolibri?

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