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More than one kind of horror

Six Chix, 10/25/11

Aw, I like the mildly desperate grin that the skeleton is sporting in that costume shop window. “Ladies! Zombies are just as done as vampires! Skeletons are the new hotness! We’re shambling and terrifying and undead just like zombies, but without all that distasteful rotting flesh! Remember the Jason and the Argonauts movie, where he sword-fights with skeletons? Remember how bad-ass that was? SKELETONS! I … no, please, come into the shop … buy some of our skeleton paraphernalia … oh, God, I’m so lonely …”

Gil Thorp, 10/25/11

I’m really truly excited about Gil Thorp tackling the sensitive subject of Asperger’s Syndrome and totally botching it, but for right now I’d like to focus on good ol’ Wildcat, presiding over what appears to be a Milford Booster Club dinner party. Notice that everyone else is casual clothes, while Wildcat is gussied up in a white tuxedo, bow tie slightly askew. Is he coming home from his day job as a croupier? Or will “raising the formality of Milford Booster Club meetings” be his next crusade, right after he finds the Mudlarks a new kicker (precise location on the autistic spectrum unimportant)?

Momma, 10/25/11

Poor spelling is of course something we should be rightfully condemn, but we should at least give these pint-size taggers props for putting up graffiti with a philosophical message, no matter how nihilistic. Most vandalism seeks merely to aggrandize the vandal, or to mark out the territory of various criminal syndicates; these young men have instead proclaimed their bleak worldview to the city. Kudos!

Apartment 3-G, 10/25/11

“Thank goodness, everyone has stopped expecting any sort of achievement out of me. That’s a relief! Guess I’ll slip back into invisibility and quiet desperation once again. Really, it’s what I do best!”

280 responses to “More than one kind of horror”

  1. Patrick
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Those are some Old-Skool graffiti artists, using 6″ housepainting brushes to get their message across!

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth — I’m okay with Alice’s choice of literary characters… as long as “Miss Havisham” doesn’t invite me over to her place for a piece of wedding cake.

    The banquet hall scene with a decomposing cake (not to mention the rats, insects and spiders) has always creeped me out!

  3. nescio
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    So Marmaduke’s neighbor just had sex with a vacuum cleaner?

    I actually find the joke in today’s Shoe to be funny.

  4. Effluvius Erratus
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Re: Momma: I read that as “The World Streetniks,” which I took to be the name of the urchins’ gang.

  5. mucketyslim
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I am somewhat upset that the Curmudgeon hasn’t yet attempted to explain what in the HELL IS GOING ON WITH THORAX AND HIS HAND ANUS in 9 Chickweed Lane. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

  6. wossname
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Beetle – When Sarge says “This guy will be more trouble than Beetle,” he’s clearly talking about the guy in the middle, with his filthy beard and Communist sandals. Wait — is that Josh?

    And of course, NSFBG.

  7. Chareth Cutestory
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    6C: How could Six Chix just let a prime opportunity to merge Halloween costumes and S&M themes together? Well, I guess we still have the rest of the week

  8. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A&J: renting brush hogs can be useful at a time like this.

    GF: Cat’s got a point there.

    IP & Dilbert have different take on Steve Jobs.

    Luann: broadsword and shiny plates over just the naughty bits? I’m down.

    SBp: I’m assuming this is funnier if you have kids?

    Zits: get the flu shot, dummy!

    FW: please by all that is holy, let him NOT be wearing a codpiece with that!

    Lockhorns: no comment.

    MG&G: can haz hotdog.

    Pluggers: isn’t this a repeat?

    RMMD: ups the fanservice, and implied flashing?

  9. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in Id, the graffiti reads “The King is a FNIK!”

    either that, or it’s a subtle shout-out to LUBJEM FEJF.

  10. Mibbitmaker
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    9CL: This again.
    Thorecch is a comic character. His life is not relevant. I’m not fond of “I hope he dies”-type comments directed at creators myself (goes too far), and I actually criticize comics for doing fat jokes. So your commentary doesn’t apply to me, Brookie — yet I mock 9CL with a passion. Huh.

    I tend to resent FW for ruining what was once a really good strip for 20 years, most of which I read back then and enjoyed until the first time jump. 9CL, however, I resent for no longer being its formerly good self because I didn’t get to read it until after it jumped the shark.

    By the way, Brookie, we do love Solange! …or will GrossPuppet attack that idea, too?

  11. DairyStateDad
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    I see they’re getting ready for the Spiderman/A3G crossover where Peter Parker and Tommy realize they must be soulmates.

  12. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Barney Five thousand four hundred and six days now!
    It’s like Lois without Hi!
    It’s like Janus without Arlo!
    It’s like Shaft without Crank!
    It’s like Grimm without Ma Goose!
    It’s like Horrible without Hagar!
    It’s like Swine without Pearls!
    It’s like de Sac without de Cul!
    It’s like Amazing without Spiderman

    (Ok, never mind the last one.)

  13. pugfuggly
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    GT: Enjoys playing games by himself? Aspergers. Doesn’t like sports? Aspergers. Embarrassed by his overbearing mother? Aspergers.

    A3G: Ok, so first Rick switches from blond hair to blond. Now his nose seems to have grown a good inch in girth. By Friday Tommie is going to be talking to circa-1970 Howard Cosell.

    MW: “So, um…do you have any problems in your life you’d like to discuss with an old busybody?”
    “Well, I got a boil on my ass. Wanna talk about that?”
    “[sigh]…I suppose…”

    ASM So Petey, was that “Uh-oh, the artist couldn’t be bothered to write out ‘ring’, so I better say something about my phone being silent”, or was it “Uh-oh, the vibrations in my tights caused me to come all over myself”

  14. Mibbitmaker
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Crank: Well, it’s a “bitter home”, alright.

    DT: Good! I hate Doubleup.

    GT: “Relax, Wildcat.” Well, it’s no “ease up, Hobart”…

    MW: In Michael Scott parlance, it’s a Win-Lose-Win….
    Win: lurve!!! Mary got her way;
    Lose: Mare doesn’t get to talk to Gina endlessly about the whole furshlugginer thing;
    Win: The readers win because of the “lose” part!

  15. jayjaybear
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#7): She’s tomorrow’s Chik.

  16. Snowshoecat
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Pluggers– Isn’t this a rerun? I seem to remember it from the not too distant past. * I can’t believe I remember these things.*

  17. jayjaybear
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    I’m ambivalent about the current 9CL “storyline”. On the one hand, that’s a really dirty sock and thus, is pretty disgusting. On the other hand, it’s like he’s reading my mind!!!!

  18. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Josh (#y21), @Conor (#y22): Just remember, add plenty of finger-quoting, quotable meme (“I’ll meddle with you, Missy!!”), and avoid the Fist O’Justice. As a denoument Mary Worth can reconcile you two.

    Comics Curmungeon: The Reality TV Series. Did I just do that?

  19. Lolsworth
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    It’s just as well whatever his name is pointed the misspelling out, because after they’d cut their throats and slowly bled to death in front of it as bleak punctuation, it would have looked embarrassing.

  20. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Dilbert: How do you make a tribute to Steve Jobs into an anal joke about pointy-headed bosses? Ask Scott Adams.

  21. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    GT: There goes Milford’s application into the SEC.

  22. DairyStateDad
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    A serious 9CL question: Are there any ink-on-paper papers still carrying it? Given both the subject matters of late and the style of the artwork, I’d be surprised (and that’s actually sort of a compliment to the strip)…

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    WoI: Wouldn’t a Royal Wizard know more about the treatment of “Advanced Hominid Wolfism” (yech! Is that in the DSM? Lycanthropy, anyone? I know I’m a pedant, but, come on, stretch a little) than a physician? Wait, maybe he’s a homeopath, or a phrenologist – those guys are good.
    Zits: No. 6 is not amused.

  24. Maggie the Cat
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    GT- And what kind of secret handshake/gang symbol is Wildcat throwing there in panel 3?

  25. Purple Prosecutor
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    6C: “Zombies are the new black; they are widely believed to have the biggest penises now. Big, necrotic penises. Mmmmm… doesn’t that get you hot.”

  26. Z
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    MW – Predictable. And tomarrow it’ll be a pool party that starts with them discussing the terrible mob murder of a hockey “star” and his girlfriend in New York, then, at last, we’ll be free to move on to the next circle of Hel(ahem) Charterstone

  27. Jessy
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    A3G: “My songwriting career was just an excuse to showcase Dan Diller in a desperate attempt to woo the under-60 set, anyway. Thank goodness we now have the shocking, viral Mona Lisa of the Art Gallery to take over the homage to pop culture!”

  28. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    FW – I think I speak for everyone when I say ‘You mean Les dressed as Shakespeare? Seriously? How fucking pretentious and conceited can you get???’

    GT – Hey, don’t pick on Wildcat – he came right over from his gig playing Rick in the Milford Community Theatre production of Casablanca.

    RMMD – I really don’t have much of anything to say about this strip, except that Billy Idol there is gonna get very lucky…

  29. Mary Worthless
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    That’s it?!?!

    Moy didn’t phone this story in.

    She tweeted it to the syndicate.

  30. Chyron HR
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    GT – Well, DUH. Who wants to put together a mathematically perfect Pokemon squad, only to get knocked out in the first round of a tournament by some 6-year-old shit fielding a team of all legendaries?

    9CL – No, no, Brooke. What you’re doing is a straw man, not a sock puppet.

  31. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Luann – This is a work of fiction. The author has the ability to script any variety of horrible boss behavior for his chosen villain. And we are supposed to agree with TJ’s dialogue today, that she is “way out of line”, a “fiend” who is “abusing Brad”, thus deserving of whatever hijinks-filled zany antics he has in mind.

    So what has the author had Ann do that is so horrible? Well, when Brad left his shift and sat down with his girlfriend at a booth to chat, Ann told him to get back to work. Brad then lied about his relationship with her. Toni came back, Brad left his station again to sit with her. When TJ came in, he did the same thing. In response, Ann offered him a promotion if he can get his act together. What a fiend!

    This is the same situation as with Tiffany, who we are also supposed to loathe and root against. Which makes me suspect that the real crime here is that Ann and Tiff are both attractive women who don’t hide their sexuality behind a wall of denial and awkward silences.

    Anyone who still watches Survivor this season knows Brandon Hanz, the nephew of Russel, who behaves the same way. He sees an attractive woman and immediately distrusts her, because she is almost certainly scheming to seduce him away from his wife. So he calls her names, tries to turn everyone against her, concocts zany schemes to trap her, and generally makes a fool of himself by projecting his issues onto her.

  32. Abby, the Wonderdog
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Tanya will also be collecting sperm samples later on.

    Bark! Bark! Bark!

  33. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Patrick (#1): And they have to stand on each other’s shoulders to reach the objet d’arte. That’s dedication. I believe the misspelling is a deliberate dada-esque effect.

  34. twg
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    JP: I thought you guys said Sophie was in junior high? Why can Derek drive? Why do I kind of think he’s cute JUST KIDDING LALALA I DIDN’T SAY THAT

    MW: Yay! Imminent mob hit!

    Luann: What adult person thinks it’s okay to confront a friend and/or significant other’s boss? Seriously?

  35. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    JP: Unless I missed something, I think they waved their Jedi hands and declared by fiat that Sophie and classmates were at least high school, if not Juniors.

  36. Doug Puthoff
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Still no word any lawsuits by Lindsay Lohan against Marvin. If it happens, it will be the most excitement with Marvin in, like, ever.

  37. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Today’s the day again! – My computer is said to be ready to be picked up, so in a while I’ll be off to the mall. We’ll see if this makes it possible for me to download more than the first 50 pages of that hot new book everybody’s talking about.

    Arlo – I guess the weeds won. No, wait, the house won. Nobody won? What just happened?

    SnuffySamanthy’s crush on Jughaid — and I feel ever so slightly tainted just for typing those names — is downgraded from a “crush” to a “squeeze,” but since the flow of aerial hearts continues, it’s safe to say that she still feels some sort of nigh-involuntary muscular contraction for the lad. (Perhaps it’s the mere sight of Jughaid’s Hat, with its tumescent ringtailed furriness that does it.) [*]

  38. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Beetle – And so begins “Beetle Bailey: The Next Generation — BATTLING BOZOS”!

    Henry – More crazy adventures in the wonderland of 1918! Look! It’s an Italian-a organ-a-grinder and his-a-monkey! Whatever you do, don’t heat a penny until it’s red hot and throw it out the window to him. I hear they take horrifying revenge.

    love is… …trying to hide that sudden love-on! (Gotta think about baseball. BASEBALL!!)

  39. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    R=R – “This is a joke. No, not the drawings. They don’t matter. It’s the explanation! Every joke must have a specific description and explanation, telling exactly why the thing you are looking at — or would be looking at if there wasn’t this fascinating block of text to focus on instead — is a sidesplitting knee-slapper of mirth. Oh yeah, almost forgot: !

    Lagoon – The information number for toll-free calls will get a lot of extra traffic today.

    Spider-Man – Serra doomed? Do you realize what this means? You get to keep the phone!

    (She couldn’t possibly be the Big Boss! Because she’s standing right there, and he’s standing behind her, totally motionless, like some sort of dummy!!)

    Id – Take that, totally current issue of political correctness!

  40. Mark B
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Mountie McQueen just got three more tenants for his S&M dungeon. It’s going to get crowded down there.

  41. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#y84): “Last Tango in Paris”! That’s what I thought of when I saw the Dennis the Menace strip with the stick of BUTT on the table.

    @mucketyslim (#5): what in the HELL IS GOING ON WITH THORAX AND HIS HAND ANUS
    I think smut shops used to sell those as Pocket Pals. They’re sort of a prosthetic device for jackoffs. I suspect McEldowney’s drawing that from life.

    @Chyron HR (#30): What you’re doing is a straw man, not a sock puppet.
    Oh, come now. Accuracy is the hobgoblin of beefwits!

  42. Mark B
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Mountie McQueen: It puts the gold band on its ankle, or it gets the hose!

  43. imperturbe
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MW- The fiery god Meddlezebub has been thwarted. No amount of apple cake or blood will appease her now.

  44. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    RMMD – I think Tanya and her, uh, attributes are distracting us from some potential questions I have concerning today’s strip:

    1. Since when do they have bottled beer at parties? In my day you usually got a keg, and sold people a cup as they wandered in.
    2. Why would you assign the all important task of collecting beer money to the drunkest person in the room? She’d be pretty easy to fool – ‘Oh, I paid you earlier, don’t you remember?”
    3. Why is every guy at this party a seventies punk cliche? Sid Vicious, Billy Idol…all we need is Johnny Rotten and we’d be complete.
    4. Why am I trying to use logic when discussing Rex Morgan? All I’m doing is giving myself a headache. I think I will just skip it and gaze at Tanya for a while longer…

  45. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    GT: When the Mudlarks Booster Club elected their president, they chose “Wildcat” because he had been an All-State athlete in high school. That seems like a curious choice, given that panel 3 shows us that one of their members is the late Wilt Chamberlain.

    FW: I am disappointed that Wes goes to the school’s costume day dressed as Shakespeare. I thought surely he would dress up as a metastasized tumor.

  46. Alex Blaze
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    The graffiti artists also appear to be about 7 years old and have eschewed spray-paint for actual cans of paint and brushes, not for any artistic reason but just to paint way above their heads for no reason at all.

    That with the content of their message makes me think that Mell Lazarus has no idea what graffiti is other than something old people complained about in the 90′s. I sentence him to watch Piece by Piece.

  47. Mark B
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Amazing Spider Man: I love the way that Serra keeps her wits about herself enough to keep the camera phone held far enough away from herself and pointed correctly to keep both herself and the Big Boss perfectly framed. And she knew that both herself and S-M would both in range of a wireless network, so she could place a facetime call on their iPhones.

    Seriously, Peter, it’s a trap. She in league with the Big Boss, and you’re an idiot for not seeing it before now.

  48. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    9CL — Could we please see Sphinxter get his own strip, or at least take over commentary from Thorax Wallotext there? By comparison, Sphinxter is:

    1) Terse
    2) Responsive to what other characters are saying, not just flickers on the walls of his internal cave
    3) Passionate about his work
    4) At least capable of making eye contact
    5) Better-looking

    Also: HA HA I SAID FLICKER!

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Ach-toberrrr.

    FLOTUS and FDOTUS. (no politics, just a pretty lady with a handsome dog.)

    morning cougar. (not squee, NSFW)

    Only You can prevent Rule 34. (sfw)

    Miyazaki WIN.

    ikkle wombat haz big eyes.

    Petey otterloop.

    ears to corgsqui.

  50. Anonymous
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    The whole “back burner” concept appears to appeal to Tommie. From the backwards glance she’s giving, I’m wondering if our gals travels the Hershey Highway.

  51. Ned Ryerson
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: Pick a Rick and stick with the Rick you pick!

    Compare the comic Josh posted with the ones archived by the Lovely Ladies of Apartment-G.
    Today’s Rick is the Waltons dad. Yesterday’s Rick went from generic 3Gdude to um, Hillary Swank maybe?

  52. TheDiva
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    6C: Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a “girl falls for skeleton” story somewhere in the massive pile of teen supernatural romance that’s getting churned out right now.

    A3G: LuAnn is about to be indoctrinated into a cult, and Margo is hosting a party where a bargain basement Lady Gaga is dressed like the Mona Lisa, and THIS is what we’re being subjected to this week? It’s like the strip is actively avoiding an interesting story.

    9CL: Like the American colonists who took the mocking “Yankee Doodle” and turned it into a patriotic standard, I propose we make Sphinxter our unofficial mascot.

    C’shaft: It’s funny because Jeff rigidly controls any information Pam has access to in order to keep her subservient to him.

    FW: Les’ delusions of literary grandeur become more apparent by the day. Meanwhile in the younger generation, Owen makes his case for being elected poster boy for the Even Nerds Have Standards trope.

    Luann: Now I REALLY wish I hadn’t seen that Toni/Ann catfight fanart Evans drew….

    MT: “Did you catch that last part, Sergeant?”

    MW: And the moral of the story is: ladies, if you find yourself in financial straits don’t worry about it, because you’ll meet an old childhood sweetheart who’s made good and wants nothing more than to whisk you off to a glamorous urban lifestyle and make all your troubles go away!

    Pluggers think their grandkids want to hear all about their sex lives.

  53. 150
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    I love Six Chix. Look at that knowing grin, skull t-shirt, and one hand conspicuously hidden: clearly, the blonde one is The Punisher, about to rip the brunette into big, messy pieces of justice. And I welcome it.

  54. Shrug
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#35):

    “JP: Unless I missed something, I think they waved their Jedi hands and declared by fiat that Sophie and classmates were at least high school, if not Juniors.”

    Alternatively, perhaps Sophie was skipped a couple of grades above her age because she is so rich (uh, smart, I mean smart, don’t know why my fingers instinctively typed “rich”…)

    In totally unrelated news, her school principal’s office now has a nice new desk.

  55. Robin T
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Oh, so THAT’S the definition of Asperger’s.
    Good to know.

  56. Esther Blodgett
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    FW: Based on the horrifying length of his face (the distance between his mustache and goatee is a good six inches), I assumed Les was wearing a poorly rendered Joker costume.

    GT: Talk to the hand. The pudgy, mutant hand.

    9CL: A talking asshole? Well, now I don’t know which character is supposed to be the author avatar.

    JP: “Watch your driving, punk. Can’t you see we’re rich?”

  57. Katy
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    FW: No, no, NO! I cannot unsee Les in purple tights.

  58. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): “6C: Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a “girl falls for skeleton” story somewhere in the massive pile of teen supernatural romance that’s getting churned out right now. ”

    As she held her lover close, Ashley realized the truth: she had the weirdest boner about now .

  59. Rust
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    For a second when I checked Funky Winkerbean today, I thought I had accidentally clicked on Amazing Spider-Man instead.

    I can’t help but feel like it’d be hilarious for this Owen fellow to find out about the newspaper Amazing Spiderman and how utterly useless Spiderman really is. After his view on Spiderman is ruined, he’d give up his love for comics, then reading, then life, since it’s Funky Winkerbean.

  60. Marc
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Funky- What story line about awkward, nerdy teens would be complete without at least an appearance from everyone’s least favorite widower. Not only do we have to see Les, but we have to see Les wearing some kind of muumuu.

    Luann- The black dots that always seem to be on TJ’s ears but are never in the same spots; are those supposed to be earrings? What the hell are those things?

    Family Circus- You’ll never be a bachelor Billy. The fun things that bachelors can do are strictly forbidden in the Keane Kompound. That and you’ve been 7 years old for 60 years so you have that working against you too.

    Mary Worth- I’m not sure if Mary is more appalled that Gina took off without signing Mary’s praises for 3 weeks straight after her meeting with Bobby or that two young, albeit hideous, people let their emotions go and ran off together and will engage in pre marital internet use.

  61. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#37): …she still feels some sort of nigh-involuntary muscular contraction for the lad.
    That’s the sort of thing that sends a oenophile into peristalsis.

  62. mollificent
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (y#102): That would be fab! I’d love to meet you. :)

  63. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#38): And so begins “Beetle Bailey: The Next Generation — BATTLING BOZOS”!
    Baka Gaijin will love this reboot. Sarge doing the Big Stomp on GI Chuckles there.

  64. Comcis Fan
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    MW: Josh totally called this. I didn’t think it would actually work this way, that Gina would shake off Santa Royale’s dust without stopping in to update/pay homage to Santa Royale’s dusty grand dame.

  65. Comcis Fan
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Anyway, this story apparently is not over, is it?

  66. Comcis Fan
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    S4th: Sal and Alice go beatnik in panel 2.

  67. Comcis Fan
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    FW: If not for the “Halloween dress up day” sign in the second panel, I would be really confused, although not entirely surprised to see Les dressed as Sgt. Pepper.

  68. Marked Trail
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    I always knew Kelly Welly was talking out of her ass.

  69. Esther Blodgett
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    6C: I’ve always preferred skeletons. They’re easier to feed than vampires or werewolves, and they don’t leave hair and/or sparkles all over the carpet.

  70. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#65): I would imagine the next line from the waitress would be ‘Oh, but Gina left this letter for you.’ Isn’t that the usual cliche in cases like this?

  71. Comcis Fan
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#70): We can hope.

  72. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#60):

    Those moving black dots are some of the deer ticks that live on TJ’s head. Brad DeGroot’s bestest friend can cause Lyme disease if you stand too close!

  73. the good ship thetis
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Robin T (#55): My son, who is on the autism spectrum, was tested for Asperger’s, which involved the psychologist showing him pictures and asking him to describe the social interactions going on. One of the pictures was of a waitress serving people in a restaurant. The psychologist told us later that she knew he didn’t have Asperger’s because he was able to tell her what you say to a waitress when you want more food, you want the bill, etc. I said “that’s because he’s been eating in restaurants since he was a baby,” but she said that didn’t make any difference.

  74. pugfuggly
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#70):

    Even better ending: ‘Gina left this package for you’, and then a panel of Mary screaming as its revealed that the box contains Bobby’s severed head.

  75. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    FW: For a brief second there, I thought Les was dressed up as “Ballerina Bridesmaid Lisa”.

    Luann: …….aaand get B-wad fired from WeenieWorld in the process. Here comes another one of TJ’s hair-brained schemes that will backfire, and he’ll spin it so B-wad gets the blame.

    MW: It appears that Mary may not be able to “close the meddle” this time.

    Retail: Val is pregnant too…..?

    RMMD: Regarding panel 2……..I’ve seen that look before. It says: “Give me ten bucks and I’ll blow ya!”

    SixChix: So……….then………shouldn’t it be a *vampire* on the display? It would make much more sense. Just sayin’. But then again, this strip rarely makes much sense to begin with.

    Love is…: Your very first Rave!!

  76. Cloudyfriday
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    9cl- A Sphinxter says what?

    (heeheehee)

  77. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    MW: “But enough about this ‘Gina’ that I replaced, whoever she was. Ask me about pie instead!”

  78. Irrischano
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    When the moon hits your eye and you feel really awkward and don’t know how to respond, that’s Asperger’s

  79. twg
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#48): Flicker, I hardly know her!

  80. mollificent
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Damn, that’s cold…Gina never even phoned Mary to let her know what happened? Ungrateful bitch. The Meddler is not amused.

    PBS: Hmmm…I didn’t recognize Rat at my cousin’s wedding last year (the bride’s brother made a cutting and rather humiliating remark to me when I accidentally snorted while laughing at something). I’ll have another look at the wedding photos. (Those I haven’t already cut his face out of, that is.)

    ASM: Dude, Peter, it’s totally a trap. Haven’t you seen “Deception”? (If not, you should. More naked Ewan McGregor, mule!)

    @Esther Blodgett (#56) re: 9CL: COTFW.

  81. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    GT – ‘Now the line forms on the right, babe, now that Wildcat’s back in town…look out old Wildcat is back!’

    (apologies to the late Bobby Darin)

  82. mvg
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Fantom: “One lie leads to another.” Says the man w/the secret identity & hidden base who never shows his eyes…

  83. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @mucketyslim (#5): Hand anus? [looks at strip] Ah. Looks like it could use a turkey leg half-lodged…

    @wossname (#6): EEEEE!!!

    @twg (#34): “What adult person thinks it’s okay to confront a friend and/or significant other’s boss?” Ask the women in this particular McDonalds. They seem to know a little something about bad decisions.

  84. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#61): Ha! And it’s even funny read silently.

  85. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    GT (for the last time, I swear) – ‘Now, is there any other business on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding?’

  86. Pseudo3D
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    I missed yesterday’s comics, so some of my snark may be covering both days.

    9CL: Brooke, dude, maybe some of the comments you’re getting could be used constructively? You do realize this doesn’t endear yourself to anybody, right?

    Curtis: Oh, yes, the “Miller’s Junkyard” story. Haven’t seen this one before (kidding)

    And yesterday’s Curtis: Just what is up with Barry’s teddybear? It’s almost as stupid-looking as Curtis’s hat.

    Luann: Talking about how evil Ann is doesn’t make her evil, guys.

    MW: Congratulations on all who called it! However, since this storyline has been going on since late July, I do expect a bigger payoff, even though the traditional “Mary Monologues” is expected (if soul-crushing).

    Pluggers: REPEAT!!

    RMMD: …no comment.

    TAS-M: What a coincidence! Who does think the Big Boss is a puppet by Serra?

    Ziggy: Did Ziggy acknowledge his fictional existence, or does Ziggy just think he has a cat?

    FW: This would work better if Newspaper Spider-Man wasn’t also a complete loser.

    JP: This is the dude those chicks were fighting over? Wow…I was expecting some good-looking football player. But this is JP, and no one looks better than the smug rich main characters.

  87. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B (#47): She’s in league with the Big Boss, and you’re an idiot for not seeing it before now. Let me fix that for you: “You’re an idiot.” End of statement.

    @Marc (#60): Those black dots on TJ’s ears are otomelanomas. [whisper, whisper] TJ isn’t in Funky Winkerbean? Nevermind!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#63): Preach it, baby, preach it!

    @pugfuggly (#74): I’d prefer to think the item in said box is Mary’s yummy three-month-old watercress on Wonder Bread sandwich that Gina forgot to deliver to her table. And forgot to put in the walk-in.

  88. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Hey, McElclowney. Touchy much?

    B.C.: A vegan butcher? Is that like a morbid comics writer? (See: Funky Winkerbummed.)

    F-ckU Winkerbean: Aaaannnd, Batiuk’s true avatar shows up, as Les dresses himself as the Bard of Avon. Jebus, what a dbag.

    Gilled Thorp: Wildcat presides over the weekly meeting of the Milford Pluggers Society’s Haven’t-Got-a-Prayer Breakfast.

    Plug-grrrs: Oh, god, “went upstairs” sexual connotation in such close proximity to that bar of butter. I need brain bleach, and lots of it.

    RMMD: Whassup, youth trapped in the slang of another era? Is the rave goin’ down here? Cha-ching!

  89. BRWombat
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    In other news, Rose has taken up planking.

  90. Terry in Maryland
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Sergeant McQueen is in for a big surprise” Oh, not as big as the surprise you’re going to get about ten feet down the trail.

    MW: How dare Gina leave without consulting Mary. Will Mary track her down like a wounded animal or will this storyline come to an end finally?

    Phantom: Oh, let me guess. The police chief’s son will have been kidnapped by bad guys. Stripey, the police chief, and the wrasslin’ kingpin will have to somehow work together to save the boy. Stripey will either see the logic of the approach of wrasslin’ crime away or he’ll teach both the chief and the kingpin A Valuable Lession. Maybe both.

  91. Yahtzee
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    6Chix: I note that, while she’s extolling the popularity of zombies, the speaker is wearing a ghost-themed T-shirt. I guess this is hipster Halloween. “I used to be into zombies until they got so mainstream.”

  92. Liam
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    MW-Don’t look so shocked Mary. You knew something like this was going to happen.

    JP-Just for driving that fast kid we will beat you up anyways.

  93. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @twg (#34): What adult person thinks it’s okay to confront a friend and/or significant other’s boss?
    Well, Mama DeGroot apparently isn’t around to deal with B-wad’s boss issues for him, so Toni’s got to step in. Someone has to make life decisions for l’il B-wad!

  94. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B (#40): Mountie McQueen just got three more tenants for his S&M dungeon.
    Maybe he can share space with Leopold over at Scary Gary, who’s only got the one guy in his dungeon.

  95. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary’s stunned looked upon learning that Gina has left town without even telling her “Good-bye” or “thank you” can only mean that someone is about to tip off the Mafia as to Gina’s current whereabouts. Marry meddles with everyone, but nobody meddles with Mary.

  96. Sphinxter
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): Like the American colonists who took the mocking “Yankee Doodle” and turned it into a patriotic standard, I propose we make Sphinxter our unofficial mascot.

    Hey, don’t drag me into the middle of this piddling match. I’m just an avatar.

  97. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Oh boy. As soon as Jill Black hears of the impending nuptials between Gina and Bobby, she’ll hop a jet to prevent them from picking out invitations that reek of mediocrity. What meddle-power will Mary use to prevent this?

    Garfield, you know what would have been funny? You sneezing all up in Jon’s face. Cats sneezing in peoples’ faces is comedy gold.

  98. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#74): Mary wouldn’t scream at that. She would smile serenely and say, “Yes. My work here is done.”

  99. Joe Btfsplk
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    MommaUnderstand? Now write it out a hundred times! Hail Caesar! And if it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off!

  100. jasperj
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Be still, my heart! Those grafitti kids in “Momma” are stylistic matches for the Kelly School kids that Miss Peach used to teach, back in Mel’s first strip! Great to see them again. They were edgy and angsty in the Peanuts mode, but not the depressing losers that Momma brought up. We actually laughed!

  101. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#75): “Give me ten bucks and I’ll blow ya!”

    So Bunny Lebowski is at the party!?

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Terry in Maryland (#90): Phantom: I think you’re pretty close. The Police Chief’s son AND the Crime Boss’s son, who were last seen together before the Lucha Libre show, are BOTH kidnapped by the Ten Tigers, the evil Chinese gangsters. Take it from there.

  103. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers is indeed a repeat from little over a year ago.

  104. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#103): Brookins must have had an early tee time that day.

  105. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    That enigmatic Mona Lisa smile portends Mounty Half-Nelson Eddy is totally going to stick out his foot and trip Mark.

    Hey Rat! I’ve got the perfect man for your date. [*]

    It’s at this point if Jeremy Zits was a real teenager he’d take his gigantic shoe and boot that ball down the stairs into the pond. Hijinks ensue as Pierce runs ferociously yet goes nowhere due to the lack of friction between the ball and pond water.

  106. McPerson
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Knowing everything about Pokemon but not actually playing it isn’t Asperger’s, it’s being an effort value trainer.

  107. Notebooked
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    …Wait, so now not playing video games is a sign of autism? I thought Asperger’s Syndrome was mainly associated with routine and antisociality — so refusing to play Pokémon wouldn’t mean anything, but refusing to play Pokémon in a tournament would. Or am I ignorant?

  108. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Last Week’s PBS: “The Internet makes fun of me!” “Ah, Pastis! Good shoutouts to the Mungeons!”

    This Week’s 9CL: “The Internet makes fun of me!” “Christ, what a thin-skinned asswipe!”

  109. Gene S.
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MT – Exclamania!!! (Baka Gaijin©) continues – The last time there was a sentence ended in a period in Mark Trail he was still known as Mark Beaten-Path!!!

    Spider-man – So, I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Serra Carson IS the Big Boss, but that would make sense, so I’ll retract that and assume it’s J. Jonah Jameson.

  110. Me
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t Aspergers make it so that you don’t want to do social things? Are the creators of Gil Thorpe unaware that Pokemon is primarily a single player game? Did they mean the Pokemon card game? If a high school football team that never makes the playdowns is on a 3 game losing streak, isn’t that a bad thing? This Gil Thorpe raises more questions than it answers, not the least of which is why I am so excited about a 10 year old video game reference.

  111. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#103): Well, dang it! I actually sent a suggestion to Brookins a while back. About Pluggers actually preferring to use line numbers and GOTOs in GW-Basic. Java is for drinking, not programming! Amiright?
    But it seems that he’d rather print a rerun than use my fresh, with-it idea. Grumble!
    I was looking forward to seeing that little square in the corner: “Thanks to Nehemiah Scudder, New Jerusalem, USA.”

  112. Marc
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#86): “And yesterday’s Curtis: Just what is up with Barry’s teddybear? It’s almost as stupid-looking as Curtis’s hat.”

    I think it’s supposed to be so we know that the Teddy Bear is also black. Either way it looks stupid.

  113. Snuggs
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Why is Tommie staring at me so sassy-eyed in the last panel? Make her… make her stop.

  114. Roktober
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    “Yes,” Gil thought as he sipped his tea. “Someone who obsesses over every detail of an activity, its statistics, its strategies, its most prominent figures, but who does not participate in that activity in any way…truly that person would HAVE to have some kind of developmental disability.”

  115. Maggie the Cat
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#107): And really, is Pokemon the best example of a “social” activity?? When asked to visualize a Pokemon player, I imagine someone in their mom’s basement flipping cards under a lone light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Not someone whooping it up with a gregarious group of friends, I guess you could say.

  116. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#111):

    Pluggers actually preferring to use line numbers and GOTOs in GW-Basic. Java is for drinking, not programming!

    Pluggers shun Object Oriented Programming because they don’t trust anything that spells out OOPs.

  117. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#94):

    McQueen the Royal Malted could also house his new tenants with “Spook” over in Wizard of Id — or the hot box prisoners in Crock.

  118. kkarenb
    October 25th, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#83): Re the McDonald’s story – The girl’s mother said that after the blow to the head, the girl had brain damage. How could they tell?

    Gil Thorp – Is he holding that cup with his foot?

    Pluggers – This is a “classic?” Who thought it was funny the first time?

  119. Spotts1701
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#108): Well Pastis actually made it funny, and obviously can take a joke given the number of shots he takes against himself on a regular basis.

    McWordy over there, on the other hand, is usually about as funny as mildew and has a well-documented history of being as open to criticism about his work as Uwe Boll is about his. So there you go.

  120. Maggie the Cat
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    I’m guessing that the questionable look in Spider’s friend’s eyes regarding beer money means that Kelly will be expected to take off some clothing and/or perform “favors” in return for their beverages. What a shame.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#116): Your caption’s better. I gotta find me a Pluggers in the archive showing one looking at a computer screen, so I can PS it in. Might be a long search tho.

  122. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#116):

    Pluggers are still waiting to upgrade to Iron Speed because their Bronze Speed platform still works for Mammoth projects.

  123. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#116): Real Pluggers use COBOL.

    A3G – …I can’t even snark this, man.

    BB – Is that Josh?

    Crankshaft – Christ, what assholes.

    DT – Whoa, this took a turn for the unexpected. Are they launching a spinoff, Dick Tracy: After Dark? [*]

    Dilbert – Oooooh. So who’s Woz in this mini-parable?

    FW – Seeing Les dressed as William fucking Shakespeare is like seeing an obese thirty-year-old man dressed as Sailor Moon – the level of self-delusion would be funny if the pain weren’t so soul-searing.

    GT – Pokemon’s a funny pick for this storyline, considering the example of a certain Mr. Christian Weston Chandler…

    JP – “Sorry for almost hitting your phallic surrogate, mister. I was just in a hurry to go help your daughter pick at her G string.”

    Liō – Would be even better if he were dressed as Felix.

    Luann – “Specifically, the part that has an axe and protective gear.”

    MT – …this is about to get even stupider, isn’t it?

    MW – It’s okay that Tommie’s musical career isn’t working out, she’s found her true calling as a nameless extra in Mary Worth!

    OBH – There you have it, Ted Forth and Joe of One Big Happy are separated by only one fictional degree. Am I surprised? No.

    Pluggers – Pluggers are way, way too eager to share the details of their early sex life with minors.

    RMMD – Wouldn’t you want a sober person for your treasurer?

    SM – Spider-Man, Spider-Man,
    Dooms to death his only friend
    Sets his phone
    To vibrate
    Failure never felt this great!
    Look out!
    Here comes the Spider-Man!

  124. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#119):

    … about as funny as mildew …

    Here’s a thought experiment: imagine reading mildew side-by-side with 9 Chickweed Lane.

    See? Mildew is hilarious! And much faster paced!

  125. Rixter
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    MW: The nerve! Mary’s vendetta-meddle will make a mob hit look like a skate in the park. Time to brush off that witness protection identity, “Gina.”

    FW: Les, I think that is what is known as a “panty-waist.”

    CS: Bitter. Ed Crankshaft knows bitter.

    MT: Not.

    FC: Ah, nostalgia, wistful nostalgia.

    Luann: Fire axe.

  126. Rixter
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Terry in Maryland (#90): Well, first Mary calls and leaves a message with Gina’s manager, and says that it’s very important that her message is delivered. Then she leaves a message with a hotel clerk, and tells him that it is very important that it is delivered. Then she sends a note in an envelope with a diner receipt (it’s the only thing that Gina ever gave her and she cherishes it) by special messenger, and tells him that it is very important that it is delivered. Then she camps out at the lobby at a hotel near a stadium where the NY Blazes are playing and waits. That should get us into next March or so.

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

  128. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#6):

    Sorry…….I feel kinda lame right now…….but what is “NSFBG”?

  129. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I was just about to call shenanigans on Rex Morgan, M.D. for claiming Spider spent $10 of the $20 he got from Summer filling “his” Vespa. Turns out that’s dead on for a Granturismo 200 and $4.00 gas. I’m impressed!

    Compare with the 158-gallon capacity of Sam Driver’s 2005 MAN Straßerektion over in Judge Parker and I guess we know who the responsible adult is here.

  130. Dim_star
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday it was revealed that Riverdale had spiraled into murderous chaos. Archie’s mom is now wisely preparing for the approaching apocalypse. Knives will be needed to fend off hungry hoards and sugar coated cereal will be the only valid currency.

  131. Red Greenback
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Boy, I’m a dummy -(getting schooled by Gil Fucking Thorp, fer crying out loud!). Up until today I’d always assumed the worst symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome was funny-smelling pee.

  132. Scott Bot
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#128): ‘Not safe for Baka Gaijin.’ I haven’t been here long enough to know many of the details, but I believe it has something to do with fear of clowns.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    not for the first time, commodorejohn and I have posted basically the same joke about something. (PG-13ish, not really great for viewing at work.)

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#128): NSFBG. That’s Not Safe For Brigadier General. Referring to Gen. Amos Halftrack of course, who despises clowns, and would likely whip out his 1911A1 and blast away leaving giant holes like Fearless Fosdick.

    Which is why Baka Gaijin is a major Amos Halftrack fan, of course.

  135. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#133): in reference to today’s Luann.

  136. Bitter Scribe
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    In the Six Chix artist’s defense, skeletons are way easier to draw than zombies or vampires.

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#132): this.

    This is one of BG’s actual baby pictures, and it helps explain why he’s been a mite ‘touchy’ about the subject ever since.

  138. Bootsy
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137):

    Holy shit, queek! I might actually develop a fear of clowns after seeing that. As it is, I am not confronted often by angels and their pictures, which do scare the crap out of me. A weird co-worker a few years ago gave me a small angel statue because I had helped her out of a difficulty, and she told me I was an “angel”. I thanked her politely, carried it gingerly back to my office, shuddering all the way, and deep sixed it.

    At least the comix don’t have angels in them too much.

  139. This Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#123): [FW] The difference is that I’m pretty sure that Sailor Bubba etc. get how ridiculous it is but don’t much care. Les, of course, is dead fucking serious.

    @Bootsy (#138): Don’t blink. Blink and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink. Good luck.

  140. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#138): Rose is Rose is the only one that comes to mind, and that’s a strip best avoided for lots of other reasons besides just Pasquale’s Guardian Angel.

  141. Calico
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Mary Worthless (#29):
    Yeah, even Mare is confused about this. (“?”)
    Now Queen Mary will have to travel to NY, as she feels Gina didn’t give her a proper Thank You and Goodbye.

  142. Liam
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    MW-Gina’s unexpected departure will push Mary into stalker mode as she pursues Gina across the country to get Gina to thank Mary for her involvement.

  143. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): If he does … I can’t even finish that sentence. The possibility seems to remote. Like an asteroid skimming the Earth’s atmosphere, leaving behind a virus that makes us all live healthy lives for hundreds of years kind of remote.

    So, who knows? Also, I sometimes think he’s more self-aware than we give him credit. It might just tickle a secret anti-Plugger bone.

  144. seismic-2
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#139): I was never scared in the slightest by angels (well, except maybe the Cherubim with the flaming swords) until I saw what happens when the angels take the blue box. Now stone angels scare the very bejeebers out of me, more than the usual stone gargoyles do.

  145. Calico
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#105):
    Hah, I actually listened to “Indian Love Song” on YT last night, featuring Eddy, and cried. Yes, I did.
    “I’ll be calling you-ooo-ooo-oooh.”
    I haven’t seen a real live Mountie in red uniform since 2004 or so.

  146. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#128): NSFBG=Not Safe For Barney Google… who no longer appears in his own strip due to his rampant coulrophobia!

  147. odinthor
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    #123. commodorejohn.

    FW – Seeing Les dressed as William fucking Shakespeare is like seeing an obese thirty-year-old man dressed as Sailor Moon – the level of self-delusion would be funny if the pain weren’t so soul-searing.

    Well, but wait a minute. The delusion might be even more fitting than you think, if he’s trying to portray Shakespeare-wannabe the Earl of Oxford.

  148. Liam
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke-The mighty vacuum the one thing that can keep Marmaduke away. Pray that man is never caught without mighty vacuum or else Marmaduke shall fest on his entrails.

  149. Écureuil Écumant
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#69): Not only that, skeletons can never deceive you, ’cause you can see right through ‘em.

    Hey, Skelly, don’t be sad. I know how you feel. Somebody does care. How ’bout a hug.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#128): From the horse’s mouth or other orifice: Not Safe for Baka Gaijin. It started in August 2009 with this comic and my comment.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#137): I don’t know what kind of clownly evil is lurking behind that link but I know I’m not finding out.

    @Bootsy (#138): If you’re ever in northern Japan, there’s a hamburger place you DO NOT want to go into. The outside is circus-themed but inside it’s cherubs and angels everywhere. Little and big cherubs hanging on strings from the ceiling, angels sitting on every horizontal surface that’s not floor, table, or chair. It was a surreal. Maybe that was to keep customers from lingering long. On the plus side, the burger was awesome.

  151. Écureuil Écumant
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Momma: Ah, you can tell right away these kids are poseurs. They didn’t spell it “t-e-h”.

  152. Écureuil Écumant
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Watching Brookie unravel in front of our eyes is kinda like watching van Gogh saw off his ear with an emery board.

  153. Ross
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Herb & Jamaal: Isn’t she a little old to be doing math so rudimentary that you can count the answer on your fingers? But then, she’s only got three fingers on each hand, so maybe she was held back a few times for being unable to count to ten.

  154. Peanut Gallery
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Momma – It was supposed to be a Christmas message. “The World, St. Nick’s”.

  155. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): By the way, nice choice of RENUM. And the credit should at the very least be shared.

  156. UncleJeff
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    commodore john @ 123: DT – Whoa, this took a turn for the unexpected. Are they launching a spinoff, Dick Tracy: After Dark? [*]

    (*) Except for us old codgers who associate “After Dark” with Hugh Hefner, girls in bunny costumes, hip gents and the swanky surroundings of The Mansion (Chicago-style)

  157. Violet
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I was going to say, if TJ and Toni are so convinced that Brad’s job situation is a problem maybe they should just encourage him to handle it himself, but yeah, no that should probably be like Plan Z, after they let Old Lady Horner, Puddles, the toaster and Gunther have a crack at it.

  158. Borborygmy
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#123): like seeing an obese thirty-year-old man dressed as Sailor Moon
    Thanks very much, Commodore! Now what the hell am I gonna wear? Guys like you give me the gripes!

  159. Peanut Gallery
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @jasperj (#100): Sorry, I don’t think those graffiti kids could be from Miss Peach, because they don’t have both eyes on the same side of their noses.

  160. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#156): Or for those few of us who used to frequent “After Dark Video” on Bathurst, just above Bloor, which was a tiny, darkish video store specialising in off-beat movies such as Italian-Vampire-Science-Fiction movies and Irving Klaw features, and had a naked mannequin with a TV set for a head standing on the front lawn.

  161. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#159): Yeah, it’s true. Her students did kind of flounder.

  162. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#155): Thanks! RENUM was my friend for many years – just screams GW-BASIC don’t it? Scary how much spaghetti I wrote back when. Anyway, when Brookins comes thru with the big bucks, we’ll split even-steven, and get matching RoadDicks. Deal?

  163. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#156): It’s quite a jump. Mr. Crime was a villain from the fifties, and I thought we were back in the thirties just last week.

  164. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

  165. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#117): That’s fitting, since the hot boxes in Crock are apparently haunted and the Spook is … well, spooky, I guess.

  166. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#119): McElclowney “has a well-documented history of being as open to criticism about his work as Uwe Boll is about his.”

    Oh, man, if only this would lead to McEl challenging Mudgeons to a boxing match, a la Boll and the film critics. I would sign up for that.
    Of course, with McEl, it would probably be a dance-off, as boxing is a sweaty thing for the beefwit masses and dancing is a pure art form for the elite intelligentsia.

  167. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#166): Disclaimer: I am a big fan of Boll’s House of the Dead. Guilty pleasure, yes, but still a pleasure.

  168. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#150): …If you’re ever in northern Japan…
    Hokkaido? Never made it there, though Sapporo is one of my favoritest beers. Always wanted to do the brewery tour there.

  169. bunivasal
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Kate Beaton’s comic today (harkavagrant.com) revealed a side of Spidey we’ve never seen before: his front, as viewed while he is lying on his back.

  170. The Gringo Kid
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#138): Doctor Who, “Blink.” All the excuse anyone ever needs to fear angels.

  171. Dood
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow on Judge Parker: Brakin’ 2: Electric Smugaloo.

  172. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#166): McEl challenging Mudgeons to a boxing match…
    Nah. All the cool kids are doing Lucha Libre.

  173. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#162): Deal. But it has to be under your name alone. I suspect a lot of Brookins’ readers are Heinlein fans — a presumptive condition based on the idea that Heinlein fans probably form a large percentage of those who read anything. Seeing an entry from “Nehemiah Scudder” will undoubtedly gladden many of their hearts. (Possibly terrify a few of the more addled ones, but hey — that’s funny, too.)

  174. Poteet
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    MT — So this determined trio supposedly managed to follow, for many miles, McQueen’s tracks, eh? His tracks. Made by his boots. Through the wilderness, across bare-rock mountains and creeks and valleys. Riiiiight. Just like Natty Bumppo *snork.* Where’s Mark Twain when you need him?

  175. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#166): Dance off! Dance off! I want to see Queek spinning around McEldowney dressed as Doc Oc, finishing with a flourish in which all eight arms whip forward to show eight different, but equally lethal, squees. (McEldowney: “My God, no. Not the Corgi!”)

    But that’s just a suggestion.

  176. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#31):

    Tiffany is the girl who rejected Greg Evans when he was in high school. Ann Eiffel is the woman who rejected him at 25.

  177. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#176): And in reality, he’s married to Mary Worth.

  178. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    #150 Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Ah-HAAAAAA!!! Thanks! A Google search came up empty….

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#178): Google search came up empty…. But maybe not for long. It’s freaky how many times I’ve googled a phrase I’ve seen on CC, and the CC entry pops up at the top of the page. Not very useful, of course, but it shows how busy their spiders are.

  180. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Borborygmy (#158): Buck up, Bor! The Jabba the Hutt thing you did last year was way cool… you could do that again. Did you keep the receipt for the Sailor Moon outfit?

  181. ArchieNemesis
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#125):

    Mary’s vendetta-meddle will make a mob hit look like a skate in the park.

    Great comment, but I think that Gina’s free and clear of Santa Royale by now. She’s the first MW character ever who got out while the getting was good. Mary is going to be left hanging in the diner, bemoaning her vanished friend to an uninterested stranger.

    I like to think that Mary will sit for a moment, in the diner, stunned in soul-searing introspection, wondering what’s missing from her character that forces her upon others. And she’ll stumble back to her lawn furniture to pour an extra huge glass of wine.

    Meanwhile, the new Gina Black blows off her crappy job and so-called friends, and puts the pedal to the metal in a hot convertible with her soccer hunk. If Gina would just take out that freaking ponytail as she rides off into the sunset, I might actually develop respect for her.

  182. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    JP: Here we go, the “I ain’t afraid to go back to jail” Dad ready to pummel any prospective suitors to his daughters trope. He never pulled this with Cedric because he *is* afraid of a long-term hospitalization in ICU.

  183. Braniff
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    FC: Billy’s REAL question (because he’s living in an Eisenhower-era household where nothing has changed for over half a century and thus cannot express his real feelings without getting sent to a mental hospital and getting diagnosed with a mental illness): “How many years until I become gay and marry Charlie Brown or Linus Van Pelt?”

  184. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#164): YES!!! Out of all the burger joints in all of northern Japan how did you find that one? Are you a member of the He Man Angel Haters Club?

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#168): Bring a jacket. It gets cold. The ice festival is spectacular.

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#178): Really? Try site:joshreads.com words to search this website for words. The usual thing about search terms in quotes applies, as does the + and – thingy.

  185. Little Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    MT:
    *snark* *snark* *snark*
    “….Marty?”
    *snark* *snark* *snark*
    “….Marty?”
    *snark* *snark* *snark*
    “….Marty?”

  186. A New Day
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    GT: I’m not sure what to call the expression on Gil’s face in the first panel today. I think ‘mildly perplexed dickishness’ is as close as I can get without making up some new words.

  187. Oregonian
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Why does Momma always walk around with a manhole cover on her head? Is this the root cause of her being two feet tall?

  188. Écureuil Écumant
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @imperturbe (#43) on MW: “The fiery god Meddlezebub has been thwarted.”

    Meddlezebub! Most feared of all devils. Usurper of the throne of the Elephant-Headed Demon. She of the still, small exclamation point!

  189. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#168): It’s a cool tour—and I don’t even drink beer. (That’s about the only thing I won’t drink, in fact.) And baka is right: the ice festival is spectacular. Plus it’s kind of a weird scene, with Russian and Japanese men parading around with gorgeous blond Russian women. And here’s a hint: Don’t drink too much because port-a-potties in sub-freezing temperatures are just no fun at all.

    ((dives back into pile of papers))

  190. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

  191. Écureuil Écumant
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    … and yes, the Elephant-Headed Demon’s name is “Thoracopagus”

  192. Violet
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    I love how angry Gil looks about Brody not wanting to play Pokémon. “He didn’t want to what?!” Menacingly calm, Gil slowly and deliberately places his cup upon the table. “I’m gonna go have a little talk with your son…”

  193. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#108): Pastis should have made his strips about McEldowney instead of making himself a stand-in for him, but self-deprecating humor comes easier to him than wild lashing out.

  194. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#190): Damn I miss Japan:

    The Humber gar store which does business in Hakodate CityBecause it makes a meat pattie after taking an order, it is hot anytime.The meat pattie isn’t using deepfreezing one.There is a volume and it is the size which doesn’t become one compared with the one at the other Humber gar store.In addition to the hamburger, it is proud of the curry and rice and the spaghetti and so on, too.To declare not to be the first hood personally, too, can nod.The recommendation is a chicken hamburger having to do with Chinese food.

  195. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    as found on TDC:

    “Patrick McDonnell will again use his strip to raise awareness for National Animal Shelter Appreciation Week November 6-12. His strip* will feature “Shelter Stories” about people who foster shelter animals.”

    stock up on tissues, folks.

    *Mutts

  196. Voshkod
    October 25th, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#161): Nicely punned, sir.

  197. greghousesgf
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Sorry I can’t think of a joke to make here, but I have Asperger’s, and the level of ignorance demonstrated in Gil Thorpe is appalling.

  198. UncleJeff
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Love Is……”Co-ed Night” at the strip club taken to an extreme.

  199. Spotts1701
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Violet (#157): Man, zany schemes are T.J.’s thing. You want to mess with that? What are you, some kind of a nut?

  200. bats :[
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else have a hunch that the rockin’ house party out in the sticks in Morganville will be seen by Rex and Co. while they’re out fishing?

  201. jnoble11
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    Luann:
    Toni: But what can I do?
    TJ: **UNZIP**

  202. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#194): I miss the sake-fed, hand-massaged-daily veal.

    On the other hand, I find fugu to be bland, and totally not worth the bother of risking death to eat it.

  203. Some Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Normally, I’d say the fact we never saw Serra wander foolishly into the Big Boss’s lair, instead getting MJ’s play and Peter moping about the apartment, would be evidence towards the “Serra is the Big Boss” theory. But it could also be because that might have been exciting.

    DT: Rebellious crime boss here clearly doesn’t watch enough movies. The next scene is where Panda calmly steps round his body and says “Does anyone else wish to disagree?”

    FW: Credit where credit’s due: subtle costume differences (bigger spider logo, no blue side panels) indicate that he is, in fact, dressed as Ben Reilly the Spider-Clone. Batuik may not know comedy, or storytelling, but no-one can fault him on his comicbook trivia.

    I didn’t notice Les-as-Shakespeare until it was pointed out here. Or I did, and my brain refused to accept it.

    Pluggers: Speaking of things my brain refuses to accept…

    MW: “!” says Mary, at the news that Gina quit. Either because she’d totally forgotten Gina actually worked there and wasn’t a customer, or because she thought Gina had.

  204. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#203): running down the conference table with a katana optional.

  205. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#203): re Pluggers.

    oh, it gets worse. As pointed out by Dan 54 weeks ago when this first ran, Granny Plugger is flashing the “shocker” at her grandpuppy. unsee THAT!

  206. Bud
    October 25th, 2011 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp knew everything about saki, except how to hold the cup properly…

    … that’s Asperger’s

  207. Nemovir
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    9CL:This is so sad, it’s not even worth snarking about.

  208. This Guy
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#194): “Humber gar” took me a second. It is ambiguous in Japanese, but why do that twice and correctly use “hamburger” once?

  209. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nemovir (#207): It’s…in a way it’s hilarious, in the same schadenfreudey way that successfully trolling a particularly petulant and annoying forumgoer to the breaking point is. (I don’t make a habit of that myself, but once in a while there’s someone who really deserves it, and Lord does it feel good. It could be addicting if it weren’t so much work.) To look at these strips and know that I and others like me have all played a part in getting a man to, in his own personal public forum, transparently rail against his critics via a fat blowhard self-insert and an anus sock-puppet, without any regard whatsoever to what a tool it makes him look like, is a glorious feeling.

    On the other hand, you look at this and you realize that this is a grown man with a wife, at least one child, and apparently some semblance of a life, and a man who (whatever else we want to say about his rhetorical skills or lack thereof) did in fact go to Juilliard, and who gets paid to draw whatever the hell he wants for a living, and for all the apparently good things in his life, he still places enough of his self-worth in the hands of anonymous commentors upon his comic strips that he feels honor-bound to humiliate himself in the attempt to respond, and you start to actually feel a little sorry for the guy.

    (Then you think about the “finger-fucking for the OSS” storyline or any given week of Pibgorn and the feeling goes away.)

  210. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    “My son has been tested with the Humber Gar!”

  211. Snapshot
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Momma-vandals use spray paint. Only proper conceptual artists use brushes.

    Or really stupid vandals.

  212. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 25th, 2011 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Snapshot (#211): Oh, I don’t know… When I was a kid the 2 favorite targets for “tagging” were so big that we used rollers.

  213. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#212): and Mrs. Goodreau the English Teacher is STILL unhappy about it!

  214. Pseudo3D
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#56): I also nominate your 9CL comment. Such wit!

  215. Joe Blevins
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

  216. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#208): This is one of those mysteries. Everyone in Japan studies in English in school; it’s compulsory. However very few people really learn it, though lots of them think they know it plenty well enough to do signs, webpages, decorate shopping bags, etc. Another thing is that foreign words are rendered in a syllabary called katakana. The “Humber gar” form was probably translated directly from the katakana – which is certainly how it appears on the actual menu at the restaurant. It is phonetically correct, as a Japanese would say the word. The “hamburger” form may be from a translation program, or copied from somewhere else. It is entirely possible that the person who wrote this has no idea that the two forms refer to the same food item. It is complicated, and endlessly fascinating.

  217. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#210): Quite so. To declare not to be the first hood personally, too, can nod.

  218. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#216): to the extent that it even has it’s own lolsite.

  219. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    a triple-squee-play of “brothers from other mothers”

    pup & kitten. (floof!)

    big dog & little deer. *swoon*

    Shit-zu and G-pig. (meh)

  220. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    I wince at the very thought:

    “If you’re having sex in the dark… Make sure to not have the KY bottle next to Purell… It can hurt. #LFMF.”

    owowowowowowowowow

  221. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#218): Oh sure. I knew lots of gaijin in Japan who collected shopping bags from department stores. The Japanese actually think that English is decorative, and classy looking, and will print random sentences and words on packaging in romanji just for the aesthetic effect. It can be quite amusing. To be fair, there are quite a few English monolingual folks I’ve met who think that Chinese characters are pretty, and slew them around without regard to their meaning. There are people who might be very surprised at what their tattoos actually say.

  222. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    [OT] given that this is a fairly diverse and intelligent cross-section of people, I had a random thought that could use an answer:

    Given a response sample that wasn’t totally clueless, what WWII airplane would be most recognized? I have my suspicions, but I am curious what others here might think.

    I apologize for the OT for those wishing to further lambaste FW as the 9th Circle of Fail without interruption.

  223. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): The B-17 Super Fortress bomber, and the P-51 fighter spring to mind immediately.

  224. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): When I lived there, folks would sometimes have “Japanese t-shirt” parties, where people would wear their shirts with the most outlandish English on them. In fact, I still have a t-shirt and a sweatshirt with pretty good examples on them.

    But yes, you’re right: We certainly have our versions of torturing another language. Hell, sometimes we do a pretty good job of torturing our own language. And some even do it in boldface.

  225. Rixter
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    More Luann: “You’re a firefighter, Toni. Use that fighter part.”
    Or fire. Use the fire part. Burn down Weenie World. That’ll show her.

  226. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221):

    There are people who might be very surprised at what their tattoos actually say.

    I am constantly surprised by what my tattoo actually says.

    Isolent little fucker.

  227. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#224): Where did you live in Japan? As I mentioned the other day, I was mostly in Sasebo, in Kyushu.

  228. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#226): I’ve heard of people who listen to voices in their head; you, however, seem to be even more special. Does it offer anything useful? Stock market tips? Fashion advice? Words of encouragement in times of trouble? Can it help with the crossword puzzle?

  229. Lenoxus
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Purple Prosecutor (#25): Glad I’m not the only one who interpreted “black” as a reference to race. Yes, I know what the phrase means in fashion, but in the comic’s dialogue it’s just awkwardly forced for the sake of going “look what a droll mixed comparison I can make!”; the mind naturally tries to see which comparison requires the least change of properties, and “black” as a color is a bit too abstract. In real life she would simply say “the new vampires”. Although zombies have been stale for a while anyway; maybe skeletons are indeed the next big monster.

  230. Buck Ripsnort
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#177): Supposedly, Bernice is based on his real-life daughter — that’s gotta be traumatizing.

  231. commodorejohn
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#230): That sound you just heard is Alfred E. Neuman fainting.

  232. Poteet
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    9CL — *jaw drops*

  233. pika pika
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Brody knew Pikachu was an electric-type pokemon, but when he was threatened by schoolyard bullies, he never pulled a tennis ball out of his pocket and shouted “I choose you!” He was a weird kid.

  234. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#229): it’s just you.

    “X is the new black” is a fashion meme that has spread fairly widely.

  235. Liam
    October 25th, 2011 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    FW-Sure they can see that just like they can see that your friend is just dressed as a slag term for a character.

  236. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    I GOT A BIRD BAND STUCK ON MY NUTS!!!

    talk about a ring of fire...

  237. Droopy Says
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#203): I didn’t notice Les-as-Shakespeare until it was pointed out here. Or I did, and my brain refused to accept it.

    I had the same experience. After someone pointed it out I thought “No, Les is going as Bacon, so he can claim he wrote Shakespeare.” And so Batiuk can out-dork McEck with artsy pretentiousness.

  238. Droopy Says
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): I’m not sure what you mean by “most recognized.” If you mean “most distinctive shapes,” I’d say P-38 and Stuka. If you mean “which ones come to mind first,” my choices are Spitfire and B-17.

  239. HAMMY THE SQUIRREL!
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#237):
    LES IS GOING AS SIR FRANCIS DRAKE!!

    because he is such an odd duck

  240. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Momma: Forget the misspelling and the bleak message. Has anyone on this site ever seen grafitti tagging done with housepainting brushes? Impressively, Lazarus manages to avoid getting a single detail right here.

    A3G: Dan Diller puts Tommie on the backburner, supporting the theory that he’s really an authorial stand-in for Margaret Shulock/

    BB: Oh dear. I’m not getting here until after 9, so the odds are Baka Gaijin has already been exposed to the idea of _____s with Army training. Oh well, at least it’s just Camp Swampy Army training.

    9CL: Just noticed that Sphinxter has a suspiciously puckered mouth. Wow, Brooke is really taking aim at the censors thsi week. Woe to those readers caught in the crossfire.

    Pluggers: If sexual frankness ranks among particularly Plugger traits now, I’m less comfortable than ever with the title “Pluggers.”

    S-M: If there’s one thing that no one has ever been doomed by, it’s Peter Parker’s actions.

    SFx: There’s a toddler girl balanced on top of a horse with no harness or saddle. Can Slylock arrest human parents for hazardous neglect?

    JP: Sam and Randy wait to see what kind of ridiculous excuse Derek Wilcox can make up for speeding. It’s kind of a lawyer’s initiation rite.

    RMMD: Why does it not surprise me that 30 Rock’s Jenna Maroney is collecting beer money at a teenage party?

    MT: We’ve all seen dialogue balloons coming from ducks and giant squirrels. But Kelly Welly’s butt? That’s a weird of a different color.

    MW: “In fact we’ve got a pool going at the diner for when she gets her dumb ass capped by the Syndicate.”

    H&J: How do you tell which is your middle finger when you’ve only got four?

    FW: Topic for discussion: Is Les dressing as Shakespeare for Halloween an example of the sin of pride, or the tragedy of self-delusion?

  241. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#238): “which one comes to mind first” is closest to what I was wondering about. “most iconic image” would be the alt version.

  242. Anorak
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    The graffiti in Momma is quite unsettling, I would think “stincks” would be a more plausible misspelling of the word by today’s youth, the reason why the decided to make the misspelling so glaringly obvious that even all the taggers who read Momma (all none of them) would scoff at the misspelling.

  243. Old School Allie Cat
    October 25th, 2011 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    It’s not their spelling that has me concerned for the World Streetniks, but the fact that they’re not using spray paint. Is huffing so prevalent these days that a can of Krylon is a controlled substance? So they have to whitewash a la Tom Sawyer? Inquiring minds want to know.

  244. Baka Gaijin
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#190): Hmm. Suspicious. I never said anything about clowns…just angels and circus…northern Japan not southern Hokkaido…hmm…maybe Uncle Lumpy is actually Uncle Clowny? AAAHHH! I just scared myself.

    @Spotts1701 (#199): Don’t forget, zany schemes that always go wrong. The firefighter meals, the house burning down…

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#202): I never saw fugu on the menus. I also never saw hibachi places like Benihana.

    @This Guy (#208): Damned computer translations! Blame that Barney Google fella. And listen to Nehemiah. He knows his Japanese Engrish.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#240) on Beetle Bailey: I have no problem with Bozo Boy there, knowing Sarge is going to focus all his energies (i.e. fighting, beating, pummeling) on him.

    On Mark Trail: You know, people would spend money to watch a talking ass, though people watched a dias full of them for free 4 times last month and 2 times this month. [/tries to get around the "no politics" rule]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#243): Maybe they’re in England?

  245. Peanut Gallery
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): I wanted to say “the B-52 Rock Lobster”, but then I Wikipedia’d it (is that a verb now?) and found out that the B-52 didn’t see service until well after WWII. I hang my head in shame at my inexcusable ignorance. But hey, I’m still a geek, I’m just not a military history geek.

  246. Uncle Lumpy
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#244):

    Aw, c’mon: “Northern Japan” = Hokkaido; “Circus” = clown. “Angels” wasn’t part of the search, but helped identify the downtown location as the one you visited.

  247. paleotectonics
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @queek’s OT

    F4U Corsair – typically dark blue gull-wing single-engine fighter plane, USN, USMC.

    Had it’s own network TV drama, ‘Black Sheep Squadron’, for a couple years – my brother and I were just wired on that show, and WGN saturday afternoon reruns. Good times…

  248. Abner Cadaver
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    The Occupy Momma movement can’t turn violent fast enough for my taste.

  249. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#12): What does Roman god of transitions Janus have to do with Arlo Guthrie?

  250. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#249): We have a winner! First person to catch that.

  251. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 25th, 2011 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#250): Does that mean I get the silver? Obvs, the gold goes to whoever finds Barney Google’s shallow grave.

  252. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#251): Sure! You can get anything you want at Janus’s restaurant!

  253. Readem and Laf
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp — I’ll pick someone with Asperger’s any day of the week over someone who is a jerk.

  254. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#240): Is Les dressing as Shakespeare for Halloween an example of the sin of pride, or the tragedy of self-delusion?
    In Les’s case, they’re one and the same.

  255. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#243): A few years ago (I’d have been 55 or so) I bought a package of boxed matches. You know — a package of about a dozen individual matchboxes filled with wooden matches. When the the checkout girl scanned them, there was a beep, and a message popped up on the screen:

    “Obtain Birth Date.”

    Beneath it were fields for year, day, and month.

    She looked at me and said, “Could I get your birth date, please?” I didn’t say anything, and after about a five second pause she said, “Or — I could put my own in.”

    I gave her my birth date, but asked why it was necessary. Wooden matches, it seems, are a semi-controlled substance. I asked about books of paper matches, but apparently pretty well any irresponsible young whipper-snapper can buy a batch of paper matches and set fire to our lawns!

  256. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#230): Yes, but for whom? They must get group rates on their family therapy sessions.

  257. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 25th, 2011 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#244):

    On Mark Trail: You know, people would spend money to watch a talking ass,

    And so they have. Don’t forget the famous French “flatualist,” Le Pétomane. He toured all of Europe and audiences flocked to him in the tens of thousands (including royalty and Dr. Freud) all for the pleasure of seeing him fart out thunderstorm sound effects and “La Marseillaise.”

    The obvious next stage of his career, a ventriloquist act with a face painted on his ass, either never occurred to him, or he lacked the necessary skill to make understandable words come out of his ass.

    So Mark Trail has an obvious advantage.

  258. Uncle Lumpy
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#255):

    Wooden matches, it seems, are a semi-controlled substance.

    It’s the red phosphorus in the strikers — used in methamphetamine synthesis.

  259. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#258): Ah! Well, in that case I can kind of see it. The legal age to purchase wooden matches seems to be over 16, and since most meth chemists are in their late teens and early 20s, then they could buy wooden matches with no problem.

    Wait. Does that sound right?

    I suspect this is one of those laws put in place to stop Mrs. Lovejoy from shouting, “Will nobody think of the children?”

  260. Harold
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    These kids obviously think THE WORLD of their school, The Academy of St. Nikolaj Velimirovi?, aka ST NIKS.

  261. Uncle Lumpy
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#259):

    It’s called “Frank Lee’s Law” — passed essentially just to piss you off. California has “Lumpy’s Law”, which irritates me so much I can’t even talk about it.

  262. Droopy Says
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    B>The Amusing Spiderman: Yes, that spider-tracer could lead Parker to Skank like a trail of crumbs from the kitchen to the couch. Unless she’s tossed it onto a garbage scow that just pulled away from a pier in New Jersey

    Creepy Les: In the real world, wouldn’t the kids share a cellphone picture of the costume? Or at least ask for a picture? But this being Cancerville, we’ll have to settle for Les making a lame comment about country matters.

    Cranky: Well, once you get done with the financing and construction permits and contracts, it will be summer anyway. But I can understand waiting. If you’re lucky Cranky will die before then.

    Mock Trail: Ah, those wacky Canadians and their love of dressing up for surprise parties! Now will somebody please call his bluff? “Yes, arrest us, so we can hear you explain the charges to a judge.”

    Pluggers: Before I read the caption my thought was “Plugger men love chicken pot pie.”

  263. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 26th, 2011 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#261): You mean .. I’m right? They really do create these laws to piss each of us off individually? I knew it!

  264. Droopy Says
    October 26th, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#258): @Frank Lee Meidere (#255):

    Wooden matches, it seems, are a semi-controlled substance.

    It’s the red phosphorus in the strikers — used in methamphetamine synthesis.

    Back in the early Sixties there were laws which prohibited the sale of polystyrene glue to minors, unless you had a signed note from your parents. It made model-building awkward, but it cut down on glue-sniffing. So it isn’t new that someone would try to restrict the sale of a dual-use substance.

    I never understood the appeal, but some kids got high by emptying a tube of glue into a plastic bag, then inhaling the concentrated fumes.

  265. The Gringo Kid
    October 26th, 2011 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#239): Or maybe he’s supposed to be Oxford. Because Les loves the serial coma.
    (Typo and pun both intended.)

  266. Baka Gaijin
    October 26th, 2011 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#246): I don’t know. I’m still keeping an eye on you. The left one, to be specific.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#255): In England, you have to show ID to buy scissors. This is to cut down on all the stabbings amongst the young people. Ha ha! I made a funny.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#257): Ah, yes, patron saint to drunken fratboys across America.

  267. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 26th, 2011 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#264): Sure. I remember. But the demographic most prone to glue-sniffing was under-aged, and so the age restriction made some kind of sense. Meth-makers, however, are generally over 16, and so the age restriction in this case does absolutely nothing except ensure that when it’s time for the local meth dealers to mix up a new batch, they don’t run into the embarrassment of going to the store and discovering that some bratty kids have bought up all the wooden matches to make bottle rockets.

    Now if you wanted something that worked, you’d go by quantity. If you buy more than “x” amount of wooden matches, then you have to show ID or something. I’m not saying I’d agree with this in terms of civil rights, but at least it would be targeting the right demographic.

  268. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 26th, 2011 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#266):
    I.D.
    Scissors.

    I just can’t put the two together.

  269. mollificent
    October 26th, 2011 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    @HAMMY THE SQUIRREL! (#236): Hammy! Good to have you back!

  270. Baka Gaijin
    October 26th, 2011 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#268): You have to prove you’re over 16 years of age to buy scissors in England. It was the only time I’ve been carded in the UK. Was it the pun you missed? “cut down all the stabbings…”

  271. dale
    October 26th, 2011 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#241):

    My immediate response was P-38 for its shape.

    If the question had been by name, I might have said Flying Fortress (the B-17).

    If by number, B-29 (the Superfortress).
    My guess is B-29 is the most common response.

  272. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 26th, 2011 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#270): Oops. Yes it was.

  273. Baka Gaijin
    October 26th, 2011 at 4:43 am [Reply]

    Damn! I had a whole passel of snark for Wednesday. Now it’s gone! Stupid automatic update reboot.

  274. Mr. O'Malley
    October 26th, 2011 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): I would say Spitfire and B-17, if you mean can people name them. P-51 is probably close behind.

    If you mean which are visually recognizable without being able to put a name to them, I would add Stuka and BF109. Because they are distinctive looking and often show up in movies.

  275. John C Fremont
    October 26th, 2011 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    “Wooden matches on the water, very free and easy…”

  276. Little Guy
    October 26th, 2011 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    PBS: “Wah! People criticize my strip!” “Ha ha ha! That’s funny, Pastis! Good for you for mocking the crtics! Hey! That’s like us! Nice shoutout!”

    9CL: “Wah! People criticize my strip!” “What a thin-skinned, narcasstic asswipe! They cancelled My Cage and keep this tripe going?”

  277. Swordsmith
    October 26th, 2011 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    @dale (#271): I’d also agree with the P-38 Lightning, it had a very distinctive shape, and was used in both the pacific and european theatres. Not to be confused with the P38 can opener.

  278. Chyron HR
    October 26th, 2011 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#276): Thanks for sharing, Sphinxter.

  279. teenchy
    October 26th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#274): I’d go Spitfire, Ju87, Bf109, B-17, P-38. P-40 only if it had shark teeth painted on it.

  280. JohngoPrime
    October 27th, 2011 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Momma: So that’s where Internet commenters come from!

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