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Friday quickies

Funky Winkerbean, 10/28/11

I have to admit that I like the sly little smile on witch-girl’s face in this cartoon. “Tee-hee! He sassed back to our teacher, using a vaguely appropriate bit of wordplay! He’s a bad boy who plays by his own rules, but isn’t a complete dolt! I’m totally going to regret losing my virginity to him in two years!”

Hi and Lois, 10/28/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because Chip can set specific songs for his ringtone, which is a feature that’s actually been available on phones for years and years now and isn’t new or awesome, and also isn’t funny. But, um, his dad sure hates it, so, hilarity?

Apartment 3-G, 10/28/11

Wait, Margo is talking about liking Lu Ann, and hugging, and her face isn’t twisted with rage and disgust? This is what comes of this “art without rules” business. ART NEEDS RULES! THERE ARE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES WHEN ART HAPPENS AND THERE ARE NO RULES!

Mary Worth, 10/28/11

Meanwhile, Bobby and Gina are driving down Easy Street, far in excess of the posted speed limit, while gazing into each other’s eyes! What could possibly go wrong?

291 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. Ellie
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Nightmare on Easy Street, here we come…

  2. David Ellis Dickerson
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MW: Unlike you, Josh, I’m not worried about Bobby and Gina, since Bobby is clearly driving a tank. Soccer players must make more than I think.

  3. Nemovir
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Luann: I know that Toni is supposed to be the “good” girl, but deep down in my soul, I wish it turns out that Ann is an aikido master and about to hurl Toni across the food court.

  4. Johnnycakes
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MW: … with the new TrafficBGone opaque white windshield. What could go wrong indeed!

  5. thehollis
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    You’d think being on Easy Street would allow one to afford windshield wiper fluid.

  6. Effluvius Erratus
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, Bobby and Gina are driving down Easy Street, far in excess of the posted speed limit, while gazing into each other’s eyes!…

    Seeing as the car was custom-built for someone at least 8-feet tall and that they can’t see over the dashboard, what’s the added harm in gazing into each other’s eyes as they careen madly down Easy Street?

  7. sporknpork
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    So… Is Gina psychically caressing Mary’s cheek?

  8. Walker of Dog
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    GT: The next test: Gil dumps a box of kickers onto the floor to see how fast Brody can count them.

    MW: Mary won’t be so proud when she finds out that Gina has taken up with a lowrider!

  9. ArchieNemesis
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: “Oh no, she’s behind a steel door … hey it’s really tissue paper!” When it comes to introducing faux conflicts and quickly resolving them, Spiderman has hit a new low of lameness. Here’s what it would be like if other comics followed Spidey’s lead:

    Easily resolved MW: I sure wish I had a rich athlete husband. Oh there he is now! I forgot I already had one.

    Easily resolved Pluggers: Damn, it hurts to pick up this book. Oh, I just died! Nevermind.

    Easily resolved Slylock Fox: It’s tough to draw a bug! Oh right, nobody cares.

    Easily resolved Crock: Oh no, it’s a nonsensical desert-warfare-related dilemna! I’ll just insert a random sentence in the final dialog bubble.

    Easily resolved RMMD: Should I give Kelly a date-rape drug? No time, must shave my mohawk stubble instead.

  10. Lolsworth
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    You might as well say “lighten up” in a concentration camp as in Funky Winkerbean.

  11. Mary Worthless
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    From Easy Street to Death Road.

    R.I.P. Gina -n- Bobby

  12. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW: Then, the fatal car crash! (written before coming on here and reading Josh’s post)

    A3G:
    Narration: “As Margo walks up her street…”
    Mibbit (in early TV Hawkeye Peirce sarcastic fake insult mode): “Streetwalker!”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    ….Then LuAnn reminded Margo why she’d stop speaking to her. Then Margo would stop speaking to her.

    Archie: ‘Occupy Lodge Estates’

    BBailey: She kept missing.

    9CL: Still petulant, more bizarre.

    Dilbert: Given that Quality Assurance at Dunder-Miflin-Sabre is Creed, that makes sense.

    Lio: You just can’t win when you have Mr. Spooky as a kid!

    MT: “This is dumb! I’m outta here!”

    “Mutts: This is what we were spared in 9CL. Of course, it’s funny in this strip!

    Nancy: Wrong WW costume in 2011, idiot. (and I’m sad that I know that)

    Popeye: Segar’s ghost: “Watch it, Sagendorf!”
    (that may stick, actually: “Great Segar’s ghost!”)

    RMMD: Well, that took a disgustingly evil turn. She’s on her path to becoming Veronica Mars.

  13. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    CdS: I. LOVE. This. Strip!!!

    Luann: lets get rrrrrrrrrready to RRRRRRRRRUMBLE!!!

    PBS: preach it, Rat!

    SBp: I thought it was only Crackberries that had to be surgically removed?

    DT: in Madison, eh? c’mon Dick, blow holes in Bucky Badger!!!! Please?!?

    Lockhorns: that’s almost funny and clever. wtf is it doing in THIS strip?

    MT has a big brown beaver. . . .

    Mutts: poor roach, fired from his gig in 9CL before it even started.

    RMMD: ok, someone called the roofie-plot a couple days back.

    RwO: *groan* still, I chuckled.

    6Cx: ewww.

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . not the size of the wand, but the magic in it.

  15. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    H&L: Ha ha, those wacky teenagers! Who’d imagine that they might want some sweet revenge on The Mosquito??

  16. John B
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Friday’s Apartment 3G is EXACTLY what happens when there is art without rules!

  17. Effluvius Erratus
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Spider Vandal, Spider Vandal,
    Can’t even bother to try the handle,
    Don’t ask him why he punched the wall,
    His excuse won’t make sense at all!

    Actually, I kind of like it that the Finance department hides itself in behind solid steel blast doors, but I guess in a universe with all manner of super-powered beings, their OWS more threatening than ours.

  18. Cooler King
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    MW: I must have missed the news that there was going to be another comic strip switcheroo today. This is clearly the work of a Batiuk on the loose.

  19. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: “What an amazing day!” Wow, I think Margo got her Premarin and X mixed up this morning.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    MW: Gina: “Hey, lover, let’s pop in some Jan & Dean’s “Dead Man’s Curve” CD…?”

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Yenny: largest Pedobear plushie EVAR!

  22. Lorne
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    I think the only way a “successful soccer player” in North America can get to Easy Street is if they take a detour on Successful Side Business Avenue.

  23. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    DT – Ok, I’m flipping through the channels here in town, and I’m not finding Ms. Biscuits’ show anywhere. Is it on WORT?

    FW – Meanwhile, in Les Moore’s classroom, we hear ‘It is I, William Shakespeare, and I am here to discuss the only literature more important than my monumental works. So please turn to chapter four of “Lisa’s Story.”‘

    HotC – It’s still more mature than any of the relationships in Luann.

    MW – I can’t wait to see the happy couple at the wedding, riding away on the his and hers skateboards with ‘Just Married’ draped across their backs.

    RMMD – Careful, Spider, looks like Tanya’s trying to make time with your girl…

  24. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    BB: Those were just the warning shots, Beetle. No, if I were you I really wouldn’t inquire about your pants right this moment.

  25. Snowshoecat
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    9CL– Okay, admit it. How many of us Googled “cloaca” — just to make sure?

  26. Lorne
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    When he was on Marc Maron this month, Norm Macdonald spoke of the Holy Grail of deadpan humour: a joke where the set-up and the punchline were exactly the same.
    Hi & Lois seem to be pursuing this same goal.
    Now they just need a joke.

  27. Chareth Cutestory
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    MW: I don’t know much about romance, but I’m sure Gina will definitely be bragging to all her gal pals about how Bobby proposed to her. While driving.

  28. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#23) on DT: “Ok, I’m flipping through the channels here in town, and I’m not finding Ms. Biscuits’ show anywhere. Is it on WORT?”

    WORT? I thought that was the Brewery Channel.

  29. Mary Worthless
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    I think that Mr. Giella needs to work a little bit harder with his Mary Worth Colorforms and Xerox machine.

    Especially with the the perspective functions.

  30. Lorne
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    It’s good to see Bobby is cruising Easy Street in a 1984 Pontiac Fiero.

  31. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#27): By appearances, flying full IFR and perhaps hoping to persuade her to join the Mile-Hi Club.

  32. Chyron HR
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    H&L – Oh, White Curtis, will you never turn that “heavy metal” junk down?

    (It’s funny because someone who has a teenaged son in 2011 was probably a teenager themselves back when heavy metal music was popular!)

  33. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Crank: “Thanks for the backup, Kemosabe!”

    Hold on a sec. This is Batiuk, the Angst-Ridden Writer. Shouldn’t that be “Chemosabe”?

  34. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- Nothing is more plausible than ugly waitress and a minor league soccer player being separated for 10 years because of witness protection, meeting back up and still being madly in love with each other, running off to NYC…you know the place she had to flee from for her safety, said ugly waitress being smart enough to get into NYU, and the two happy lovers who know nothing about each other’s lives after the age of 14, driving down the middle of the street not looking at the road while managing to not hit a single thing. And of course the coup de gras, after being back together for a week they get married. Only in the worthiverse.

  35. geekwhisperer
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MW- Based on the interior space; its blockish design, low slung seats with restraints and gunmetal gray tones, and that they seem to be navigating in a thick fog, I believe Bobby is proposing to Gina while piloting one of the Freedom Class Littoral Combat Ships, moving at high speed in rough weather. I sense a plot where Gina is captured by Somali pirates in the gulf of Aden and must be rescued by Delta Force Commandos led by the mysterious “Commander M”, who’s white hair pokes out from under her assault helmet (catchphrase: You look like you could use some advice, motherfucker! *opens fire*)

    Hi&Lois- Rigntone jokes? Really? I don’t know what’s worse: Comics that constantly hate on modern technology- Pluggers, Winkerbean, etc. or comics that are completely out of touch with technology- Hi and Lois, Beetle Bailey…wait a minute- do I detect a pattern?

    Apparently, the Baby Boomer artists- Brookins and Batiuk just hate technology, regardless of the fact that it’s the thing that enriched their generation to the point of such immense bloat that it laid the foundation for the recent economic disasters (oversimplification, I know. But defendable).

    Walker just simply does not get any post-war technology at all. Computers, robotics, cell phones- it’s all a big mystery to him and it shows. His supposedly “nerdy” character in BB recently complained about the proliferation of “gizmos”. WTF, dude? Nerds like gizmos. Jeesh.

  36. pugfuggly
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    H&L: So heavy metal goes “BRANG!“? I always thought it was more of a “Rrrrnnn-de-de-de-DE-de-de!Rrrrnnn-de-de-de-DE-de-de!“, unless you’re at the guitar solo, which i believe goes “WWWAAAAAAaaaa….widli-widli-widli-widli NNNNYYYYYYEEERRRRRRRR AAAAAaaAAaaAAaaAA!!!!“, or a sweet drum fill, which I think goes “DuggedeDuggede DUM! DUM!DUM!DEDE *shhhppppppeh*!?” But I guess they don’t have too much room in the panel. Objection withdrawn.

    A3G: Oh, Margo, master of psychological torture!

    “I’m so happy I could hug A COMPLETE STRANGER!”
    “But Margo…[sniff]…I’m right here!”
    “So you are, my dear friend…now who could I hug?”

    MW: After years apart and a beautiful romantic reunion, Bobby proposes to his lost love like he was asking if she wanted to stop at the In-N-Out Burger. Hey Gina, you want kids with that blessed union?

  37. Pozzo
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    I dunno, Josh — according to that sign I can see through the windshield, the speed limit is 1028. Floor it, you crazy kids!

  38. mr12ozcan
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    maryworth- hey gina i dont think your left hand is shifting gears so i bet your milking bobby for all hes got

  39. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    FW: The Zappa stoner gets props from me, though his soul patch evidently could’ve benefited from a bit more spirit gum. And yeah, I know, Zappa::drugs is a cognitive dissonance. Tell it to Junebug there.

  40. John C Fremont
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MW – See, this is what happens when you have engineers from Boeing design your automobile interiors.

    RMMD – I’d never noticed until now that Spider sounds just like Christian Bale doing that goofy Batman voice. And his “bro” Andy sounds a lot like Corey Feldman. Or Haim. Wait, which one’s which again?

  41. Doyle
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann: Haha, it’s funny because Toni is threatening physical assault.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#35): having it be a panzer from Shadowrun/Hardwired/Hammers Slammers would be 20% cooler, but even less likely.

  43. Doug Puthoff
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    FW–It would’ve been funnier if Cory (or whoever) were dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi and answered “May the Force be with you.”

  44. Psychid
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, on today’s Garfield edition of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Garfield appears to be watching an even-lower-budgeted remake of The Giant Spider Invasion.

  45. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Beetle- So when Killer is with a woman, she makes out with his shirt and he does what exactly? Forget it, I don’t even want to know. And why is he taking Beetle’s clothes? Again, I don’t think I want to know.

    Luann- So we’re supposed to hate Dirk cause he got after poor little B-wad because he thought that B-wad was trying to vulture his girlfriend, which he actually was and eventully did mind you. And we’re supposed to like Toni, yet she is doing the same thing to Ann Eiffel that Dirk did to B-wad. Except Ann has done nothing more than make that immature dimwit do his job. Does Evans even realize the insane double standard he has going here?

  46. Doctor Handsome
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Chip has downloaded the “Grammatically incorrect past-tense verb” app, the ultimate in parental-annoyance technology. “BROUGHT, you ignorant son of a bitch!” is all Hi will be able to think for the next three weeks.

  47. Buck Thrust
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

  48. FafMor
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    9CL has been satisfying all week, in a “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids” sort of way. McEldowney’s tears make the Scooby snack taste even sweeter.

  49. Patrick
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Bobby and Gina are so in love that they un-bolted the seats from the floor and pushed them closer together.

  50. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    H&L – Actually, Chip has downloaded the Neil Diamond ringtone app, and has turned up the volume at the exact moment in the song Play Me where Neil sings ‘song she brang to me.’

    Which explains Hi’s horrified expression.

  51. Doctor Handsome
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mary Worth is an optical illusion: from one perspective, Bobby and Gina are inside the world’s most misshapen automobile, and from another, they’re just wearing backpacks at a salad bar.

  52. Rat Lee Baily, Esq
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Mr. Brown,

    I have been retained by Mr. Sam Driver in the matter of your unauthorized use of his bus.

    If it is returned in the same condition as it was when it left his property, no charges will be filed. ThIs includes semen stains.

    Thank you for your quick response to this matter. If it is not quickly resolved, Dick Tracy will be in charge of this matter.

  53. Irrischano
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Good God, look at the size of that windshield in relation to their bodies. Are Bobby and Gina really dwarves, or did he propose while piloting the Millenium Falcon?

  54. Illustrator Steve
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    MT – Upon seeing today’s Mark Trail strip I’m convinced Jack Elrod not only READS these remarks but is actually intentionally pasting up the clip art animals to appear even bigger than he usually does JUST TO PISS US OFF!
    …That, or he really likes to show everyone a BIG beaver whenever he can sneek one in!

  55. Snowshoecat
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#34): That take on MW pretty much sums it up. No wonder the strip is so popular.

    BTW, we still haven’t had any evidence of Mountie McUniform’s popularity in the community. What community? Does he have, like, a job to do or something? Seriously. Don’t Mounties have real work to do?

  56. Snowshoecat
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    RMMD. Why is the blond kid speaking like a 1930′s drawing room comedy?

  57. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MW: I fear this proposal is even dopier than the FOOB and Mopey Pantysniffer…

  58. LaziestManOnMars
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    You’d think that being a star soccer player would mean bobby could afford a car that didn’t have a bent hula-hoop for a steering wheel. Also, a car that has a non-crooked passenger seat.

  59. Mustang
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    3G – I read something recently about a parasite that gets into an ant and does something to the ant’s brain to make it do anything the parasite wants. The parasite has to get into a larger organism to further its life cycle, so it controls the ant and makes it get into situations where it will surely get eaten by a cow or horse. I think Margo has been inflicted with a similar parasite, except this kind makes her hug people. The horror. The horror.

  60. Spunde
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    MW: Allison sure is thrilled at the prospect of Gina not now being on Easy Street. “My dreams can come true! Say it again, Mary! Say, ‘It doesn’t mean she’s now on Easy Street’!”

  61. Bill Peschel
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Lorne (#26):

    Another Marc Maron fan! WTF?

    Gina looks extremely happy on MW, and since her left hand is on the steering wheel, I’m expecting her to flip the car over so they can die together. Because after all, once they’re in love and about to get married, it can only go downhill from there, amirite?

  62. Krazy Kat
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Enough with the snark! Bobby and Gina were MADE for each other! Just look at Bobby’s car: he obviously has a penchant for inconsistent linear perspective. One look at Gina’s ponytail and he knew she was still the one.

  63. Eric W
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    FW: isnt that the blond chick from Pepper Ann?

  64. Old School Allie Cat
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    MW – What the hell is Bobby driving? A Mercury Grand Dashboard?

    FW – Oh, Josh – having been that Teenage Witch once in my life – I note with intense chagrin how right you are. Only, two years? More like eight months, tops.

  65. Little Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Candorville: Well, color me shocked. I’d saw this coming.

    Not the twist; the ending to this plotline.

    CdS: More queen!

    BR: Nicely dovetailed.

  66. Little Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#65): I’d never saw this coming….

  67. Bill Peschel
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Toni, if WeenieWorld heard from a customer that she was banned because a) she was keeping her boyfriend from doing his minimum-wage job, and b) she wasn’t buying anything, who do you think they’ll side with, hmmm?

  68. Krazy Kat
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    I worry about Bobby and Gina growing old together, though. If they can’t see over the steering wheel NOW, what hope do they have of driving off into the sunset when they’re eighty? Too small for cars, too fragile for skateboards: it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

  69. Doyle
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#45): You must be new to how Luann-universe works. Characters aren’t good or bad because of their actions or thoughts. They’re good or bad because Evan says they’re good or bad. Thus, Dirk is bad and Toni is good, even if they both threaten to beat up people who are minding their own business.

  70. Little Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    H&L: So, Chip’s dialtone is the “Inception” sound?

  71. Dan
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Now from K-Tel: BRANG ROCK!!

  72. pugfuggly
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#64):

    What the hell is Bobby driving? A Mercury Grand Dashboard?

    They’re actually at the arcade, playing one of those racing games. In the real world, they only travel by skateboard.

  73. TheDiva
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    FW: Les’ costumed delusions of grandeur seem to be spreading throughout the faculty. It’s a shame Suicidal Susan is no longer on staff, because I’m curious to see if she’d dress as Dorothy Parker or simply wear a name tag that says “HELLO, my name is MRS. LES MOORE.”

    MW: And now we see why Gina and Bobby are both so hung up on being childhood sweethearts–judging by their height in relation to the dashboard, they never actually made it through puberty.

    9CL: And now we see what Brooke’s real beef is–not that people on the Interwebz are mean to him, but that they don’t hold to his high standard of pretentious, verbosity-mistaken-for-eloquence commentary. “How DARE they presume to be so insulting?” he seems to be saying. “They haven’t earned the right, like I have!”

    C’shaft: Even Cranky knows his ultimate fate is to be abandoned at the nearest nursing home the moment his daughter finally gets tired of putting up with his crap.

    Luann: When a man threatens another man he sees as a romantic rival, he’s controlling and abusive. When a woman threatens another woman she sees as a romantic rival, she’s bold and empowered. I’d like to believe Evans’ double standard here has nothing to do with his latent desire to see girl-on-girl action, but I’ve seen the artwork.

    MT: No Mark, don’t you see? He’s trying to save you from the evil mutant beaver lying in wait for you! You should be grateful!

    Pluggers: Being seven months pregnant does NOT make me a Plugger, I don’t care what you say.

  74. Voshkod
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    OK, I make fun of Mary Worth for constantly adjusting her face, but she’s doing it again! Invest in some spirit gum, Mary, or staples! It will keep your human mask on just fine!

  75. Wally Winkerbean
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    A view into Mr. Moore’s classroom.

    We see him gazing at a human skull.

    “Alas, poor Lisa! I knew her, Funky, a woman of infinite jest, of most excellent cancer. She hath bore me on her back a thousand times, and now how abhorr’d in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.”

    Now that is some writing!

  76. Dood
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Easy Street, Gina? Where we’re going we don’t need streets.

  77. Ned Ryerson
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT: What’s this all about…..Mountie?!

    H&L: It’s your one way ticket to midnight! BRANG!!!

  78. Dood
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: You have to love that look on Alison-the-waitperson’s face. “Uhm, excuse me, Ms. Worth? *Tee hee* Meddle me? Puh-leeze?”

  79. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: So everyday Evinley, and Jugghaid, and Sherriff Tate, and the the grocer, and the parson, and Lukey and all the other hardworking characters in Hootiin Holler show up for work, and do their job, and only Snuffy gets any billing. But Barney Google hasn’t showed up for work in five thousand four hundred and nine days. And the lazy exploitive bum has TOP billing. Is that fair? Is that American? Is that justice! NEVER! Occupy Hootin’ Holler!! Barney is the 1%!!!

  80. Gene S.
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MT -another day of Exclamania!!! (Baka Gaijin®). I’m beginning to wonder if the lack of period-ended sentences in Mark Trail is actually just a series of typos. Case in point: several times the strip has used 3 exclamation points when just one(or none) would have been acceptable and apropos. There has also been several instances when sentence seem to end in ellipses at completely innapropriate times. Through my research I have discovered…

    Fact: Jack Elrod does not understand punctuation based on his over use of exclamation point and lack of periods.
    Fact: Jack Elrod believes that in times when an exclamation point should actually be used, he will supply two or three to “bring the point home”.
    Fact: It has been at least two months since a sentence has been ended with a period in Mark Trail. It may have been years, but limited resources have prevented my further research.
    Fact: Several sentences in Mark Trail have ended in ellipses.

    Conclusion: Ellipses are periods in Mark Trail. Jack Elrod believes that to guarantee that the reader knows a sentence has been completed, just one period will not do. Elrod supplies three consecutive periods to emphasize that the sentence is over.

    In tribute to Ace Ventura, Ellipses are Periods. Periods are Ellipses.

    I rest my case.

  81. Snowshoecat
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#73): Funkyworst: oooooh I love the name tag idea. Talk about delusions of inadequacy!

  82. Zaratustra
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    I thought Margo was the Queen Bee?

  83. Joshua
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#35): Technically, the Beetle Bailey nerd was complaining about the proliferation of “gadgets.” The irony level would have been much too high if he had been complaining about “gizmos”; the character’s name is Chip Gizmo.

    I continue to keep an eye on the depiction of technology in Blondie, one of the few legacy strips where modern technology is usually treated as a fact of life, not as a punchline in itself.

  84. TheTJ
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Happy? Maybe Margo means hungry, because I was under the impression that the only times she hugs someone is right before she sinkes her fangs into them.

  85. teenchy
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36): BRANG! Makes me think of the opening chord to “A Hard Day’s Night.”

    @TheDiva (#73): The situation cries out for some “BEEFWIT” T-shirts. Just sayin’.

  86. UncleJeff
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Wally Winkerbean (#75): I don’t think it’s his “gorge” that is rising.

  87. This Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Baldo recap: I went back to the beginning of the week to check what was going on, and the conclusion I’ve reached is that these girls’ teacher needs to be fired ASAP. He was last seen taunting his students by pretending to offer them food and instead holding forth on sociological minutiae far beyond their level. This week, when our young protagonists were being taunted for supposedly being illegal immigrants, the teacher’s response was to reassure them that under current law, small children couldn’t be hauled away, but their parents were totally going to prison probably. Nothing about bullying or spreading rumors, just scaring the shit out of the victims.

  88. pugfuggly
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#85):

    BRANG! Makes me think of the opening chord to “A Hard Day’s Night.”

    And in Hi and Lois, the fab four are considered ‘heavy metal’.

  89. Red Greenback
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Revel in your “awesomeness” while you can, Chip. Hi’s Glock is set on “HALFTRACK”.

  90. UncleJeff
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: It turns out that Bobby Black is the owner of the National Lampoon’s 1958 Bulgemobile (“Twice the car you’ll ever need”)!

  91. debussy fields
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MT– Watch VERY CAREFULLY the actions of Mark Trail in the coming days as he deals with the Sgt. McQueen issue. Watch and learn! Learn from this principled man of character, this model of upstanding citizenry, good clean living, and high moral values.

    When I was released from prison, I vowed to never return to my earlier lifestyle of hedonism and debauchery. Knowing that sheer will power would not be enough to save me, I adopted the practice of making ANY AND ALL decisions based on the question: WHAT WOULD MARK TRAIL DO?

    I am pleased to report that since making that vow I have avoided incarceration and have gained the respect and admiration of neighbors and friends. The problem is, I now grapple daily with depression and thoughts of suicide, burdens I never had to deal with when I was young, and happy, and free. A small price to pay.

  92. captainswift
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    And so Mary Worth kills again. “Perhaps the next waitress won’t forget the whipped cream on my apple pie.”

  93. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Archie – Class warfare? Maybe, but Archie’s so poor his food disappears before the second panel, and Jughead can’t even afford a paper with more than a quarter of the page printed. Revolt, you thick-headed dolts! Jughead, you take Veronica’s burger! Betty, you take Veronica’s jewels and nice clothes! Archie, you know what you want, even if you’ve never said it, even to yourself.

    Beetle – Killer’s busted. That’s not Sarge’s lipstick color!

    9 – Looks to me like Sphinxter has three cloacas.
    (Since I’m using the word as English, I will forgo attempts at cutesy pluralizatiiii.)

  94. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    love is… …a hat job.

    Nancy – How does Fritzi manage to make a Wonder Woman costume look stodgy?

    Pluggers – Seriously, if you want to exercise the calves, try learning to juggle. I speak from experience.

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#13): someone called the roofie-plot a couple days back.
    I made a roofie joke yesterday, but sometimes people go back in time and insert their similar comments before mine, so I’m not sure I get to say I called it.

    @Scott Bot (#23): Ok, I’m flipping through the channels here in town, and I’m not finding Ms. Biscuits’ show anywhere.
    It’s on Cable Access Channel 7. Observe the apron.

    @geekwhisperer (#35): His supposedly “nerdy” character in BB recently complained about the proliferation of “gizmos”.
    Not only that, the character’s name is Chip Gizmo, so he’s a self-hating Gizmo. They should ship him to Gitmo.

    @Écureuil Écumant (#39): I know, Zappa::drugs is a cognitive dissonance.
    Only to Zappa, who said cigarettes are food. He was a great American (I have a smashed penny with his image on it, and re-read his book from time to time.) but sadly deluded in some ways.

  96. Mibbitmaker
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    H&L: Gotta give Chip credit, he certainly ‘BRANG’ it today!

  97. CanuckDownSouth
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Elrod is finally doing some quality research so that their readers can learn that Canada truly has its own system of justice, distinct from the US’s rules, where great stretches of lawless territory (keep those windows rolled up on the Trans-Canada, folks!) have oases of RCMP control with law based upon the “Dudley Principle”: if an officer in full dress uniform says something a six-yr-old could believe Dudley Do-Right would, it’s the law!

  98. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#34):

    If you eat way too much pâté de foie gras your eventual coup de grâce might be the result of a coup de gras.

  99. bbofun
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Please don’t say Easy Street. I’m rehearsing for ANNIE right now, and it hurts.

  100. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    the following is a IHasAHotdog production of Mark Trail.

    Baka Gaijin has been posting pictures again.

    The Daily Puppy is a Golden/Lab mix.

    beachin’ corgi.

  101. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#95): Ah, I see now. I guess since our local CBS affiliate, Channel 3, has a cooking show hosted by ‘Mr. Food,’ Channel 7 must have decided to bring in ‘Ms. Biscuits.’ Ratings wars are brutal.

  102. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#93) on 9CL: “Looks to me like Sphinxter has three cloacas.
    (Since I’m using the word as English, I will forgo attempts at cutesy pluralizatiiii.)”

    Well, since that’s the case, might I perhaps borrow that ligature to use on Brookie?

  103. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: Jeez, what an asshole. And no, I don’t mean Sphinxter.

    Doones: You can’t shame someone with no sense of shame.

    F. Winkerbummed: Would any schoolkid today actually dress as Elvis? I guess it’s that time warp thing again.

    Gilled: It’s a trick question, Brody. The correct answer is “Kasay.”

    H&L: Brang the noise! Chip gettin’ crunky!

  104. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Gene S. (#80): Kudos for your scholarly research! I don’t know is this is good enough for a doctorate in comic studies, but I’m sure we printshop a masters for you!

  105. Red Greenback
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Anyone else googled “brang ringtones” yet? (no, I didn’t mean “Bhangra ringtones”, thankyouverymuch, although you offer some nice ones) Here is one of many.

  106. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    MT: I would say, “That’s the biggest beaver I’ve ever seen,” but I don’t want to offend Ms. Welly.

    Merrily Worthless:
    “Gina, will you marry me?”
    “Yes, I will, Bobby!”
    At which point Tommy from Goodfellas steps up to the driver’s side window and shoots them both in the head, then quips, “A match made in haven? Not anymore, you putzes!”

    RMMD: And Spider in the last panel answers the question: What would Geddy Lee look like with a mohawk?

  107. Écureuil Écumant
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#105): Whoo-oo-oo-ooo-ooo-oo-oo-oo! Wipeout!

  108. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#91): Inspirational. You should offer a correspondence course. Advertise on matchbooks and in the back of Reader’s Digest, and your fortune is assured.

  109. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36):

    Actual metal ring tones sound something like”C is for Cookie it’s good enough for me. . . “

  110. Nekrotzar
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    “Brang,” huh? So your phone does past-tense ring tones? Well, my Android can do pluperfect.

  111. Ulysses S. Pornstache III
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Please note, Lu Ann, that I said that I could hug a ‘stranger,’ and immediately thereafter designated you as a ‘dear friend.’ Now, put your hands down to your sides and back away from me slowly.”

  112. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#93): Indeed, class warfare hits Riverdale. And Jughead’s bling flashes on and off on his horrifically* botched circumcision beanie. The End is Near.
    *Are you happy now, OMM?

  113. Edgy DC
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    I think here’s something repulsive to Mary about someone who desperately wants her help. It’s like, “No dear, that’s not how it works. You set perfectly reasonable personal and emotional boundaries and I meddle my way past them. Or else, what’s in it for me?”

    But can you blame Mary for her reluctance and her (for once) rational sense of perspective. You can see here wondering there if Dinette McPumpkinhead could possibly be helped by an appearance on I Got Dressed in the Dark.

    She might need to go on I Got Drawn in the Dark instead.

  114. Mark B.
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    I dunno what Chip’s phone is sampling, but “BRANGGGG!!!!” is probably the worst heavy metal riff ever.

  115. MWDG
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    MW:Some fun triva about Bobby and Gina!

    Gina is severly lactose intolerant!
    Bobby is a Furry!
    Gina was once arrested outside Santa Royale In-n-Out burger for loitering..and the police found a crack pipe in her handbag!
    Bobby has no intention of marrying Gina!
    Two monts ago Gina who was high on cystal meth crashed her car into a Special Education class picnic… it was a hit and run!
    Gina once was “playing a game” with another waitress..tied the gal pal up and then forgot about her. The poor woman starved to death!

  116. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#73): Being Suicidal Susan, wouldn’t Virginia Woolf be a better costume?

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#95): …They should ship him to Gitmo. He should be so lucky. If you’re not actually a prisoner or Haitian refugee, Gitmo is a fantastic place to be stationed. Spent several years there at the Fleet Training Group. Tropical paradise, for real.

  118. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    BRANG a gong, get it on. . . .

  119. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#101): Can “Mr. Crime” be far behind?

  120. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#119): That’s the Fox affiliate. They’re ratings ain’t been so good lately.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#110): “will have brung”?

  122. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Funky part 2: Sir Isaac Newton, being a man of wit, would no doubt show up for Halloween holding a fig, not an apple.

  123. Just Call Me E
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Heh … Ann and Toni: The Alexis and Crystal Carringtons of the 21st century:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxZV8HZElKo&feature=related

  124. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#120): I meant ‘their.’ Stupid lack of spell check and brain power.

    @The Gringo Kid (#122): This is Westview. That’s not an apple, it’s a tumor painted red.

  125. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    BG: Let’s go across the comics page to the diner, Isybelly, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Do you like pie? Salmon squares?

    OtH: I see a vist to Mary’s diner coming soon here, also.

    RMMD: Ah. The Mentos in the soda bottle trick! That’ll break the ice!

    ShermLag: Guess Staples and Office Max couldn’t make the nut for product placement.

  126. neographite
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Scene from a Marriage:

    B: Gina, would you like breakfast?
    G: Yes, I would, Bobby!
    B: Gina, what would you like to eat?
    G: Bobby, what are you having, Bobby?
    B: Gina, Cereal, Gina.
    G: Bobby.
    B: Gina.
    G: Bobby.

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#122): Or perhaps a royal mint!
    //too obscure?

  128. Shrug
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Snowshoecat (#55):

    “BTW, we still haven’t had any evidence of Mountie McUniform’s popularity in the community. What community?”

    I think “the community” here is a euphemism for “his dog Princess.”

  129. Colonial
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: Aldo’s Curve, it’s no place to play
    Aldo’s Curve, you best keep away
    Aldo’s Curve, I can hear ‘em say
    Won’t come back from Aldo’s Curve

    Cranky: Husband: Old people don’t need downstairs bedrooms! They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
    Wife: Will you throw away that Ross Perot pamphlet?

  130. commodorejohn
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G – AHHH! It’s the return of Manic Margo! Run for your lives!

    Curtis – Thing I learned today: Greg Wilkins likes to think about cats fucking.

    DT – Madison seems like an appropriate place for witness protection to put someone. I’d like to think that it’s populated entirely by people in the witness-protection.

    FW – This being the Funkiverse, that girl in the back isn’t dressed as Dorothy. She’s dressed as Judy Garland.

    Garfield – Giant cheesy fake rubber spiders can never compare to giant poorly-superimpose real spiders. Right, Bert I. Gordon?

    JP – …what. Who the hell do you think you are, kid, Freddy Mercury? You’d need to sell like three platinum albums just to pay for the gas.

    Luann – “Heheh, heh, are you threatening me?”

    MT – Yes, Sgt. McQueen, your brilliant scheme is so stupid that Mark Trail saw through it. I don’t care how popular you are in the community, that should make you stop and rethink some things.

    MW – Won’t come back from Dead Man’s Curve…

    PBS – Push them all in!

    RMMD – Ooh, fun! Now Rex can stare at the drugged-up teenage girl who’s been dragged into the hospital and make frowny faces while he tries to figure out if this is a girl thing or a doctor thing, and whether he needs gloves and a face-mask to protect from cooties.

    SM – Big Boss might want to have a word with his contractor.

  131. commodorejohn
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Colonial (#129): Gah, jinx!

  132. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#130): DT – Madison seems like an appropriate place for witness protection to put someone. I’d like to think that it’s populated entirely by people in the witness-protection.

    I resemble that remark.

  133. Carly
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Oh man, does this mean Mary’s going to meddle in Bobby’s and Gina’s lives far past getting them back in touch? “Now children, I want you to come in once…no, twice a week for marriage counseling.”
    “Um, Gina, who is this lady?”

  134. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @Doyle (#69): Not very new, just as completely dumbfounded by the way it works as ever.

  135. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#76): Cause they’re on the Highway to Hell.

  136. odinthor
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    BeBa. — Does the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell specifically address clothing-of-same-sexed-others fetishes?

    Candorville. — “Cut and dried,” not “cut and dry,” if you please.

    Dinette Set. — I understand that this panel is to be given a special award by the National Gouge Your Own Eyes Out Society.

    JP. — So gangs of assassins now tour in luxury vehicles? Eh, back in the good old days, when criminals held to real values, killers would go on the lam in used primer-blotched Impalas with three missing hubcaps and a dented fender. Sigh, the sense of entitlement of today’s felons—amiright, folks?

    RMMD. — Hey! Finally, a group of concerned peers. Can we get GT’s Brody Abro to come to this party?

  137. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#136): Eh, back in the good old days, when criminals held to real values, killers would go on the lam in used primer-blotched Impalas with three missing hubcaps and a dented fender.

    Killers are Pluggers, too?

  138. Pseudo3D
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: HOLY CRAP WHAT IS UP WITH THAT PERSPECTIVE

    RMMD: That’s not a drug, that’s a folded-up, poorly-drawn dollar bill.

  139. Slojo Coma
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth:

    Bobby and Gina’s love is so powerful they have transcended earthly things and been transported (with the car) to some mysterious, white-washed between-place!

  140. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#130): “Luann – “Heheh, heh, are you threatening me?””

    o please, let her be threatening her bunghole. . . .

    BUNGhole.

    @odinthor (#136): JP. — So gangs of assassins now tour in luxury vehicles? Eh, back in the good old days, when criminals held to real values, killers would go on the lam in used primer-blotched Impalas with three missing hubcaps and a dented fender. Sigh, the sense of entitlement of today’s felons—amiright, folks?”

    don’t forget the wallpaper with duckies and bunnies.

  141. Gene S.
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#104): Much obliged. I could use the certificate.

  142. Pamster
    October 28th, 2011 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Dinette Set–My first thought was, “We came as Jane and Cheetah…Tarzan couldn’t make it.”

  143. Red Greenback
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: “They could be miles off-course!”
    “That’s impossible, they’re on instruments!”

  144. Rixter
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: Haven’t we seen this before? After the engagement, the groom-to-be is severely injured, and the bride-to-be sits patiently at this bedside until he recovers. Gina’s had plenty of experience waiting bedside. Because of the lack of adequate quality trauma care in NYC, Gina has Bobby medivacked to the Santa Royale Hospital for the Newly Engaged but Seriously Injured.
    Bonus: There’s a nice diner nearby with lots of comfort pie and free advice.
    And why has Mary been touching her face so much lately?

    MT: This ongoing conversation between Mark and Doug sounds too intimate – more like a couple 3-5 years into their relationship. “Come on, Doug, we know this is not about the lawn ornaments. What’s the real reason you’re shutting me out?”

    BG&SS: What am I missing? Is Uncle Lukey little Isybelly’s no-good ex-boyfriend? These hill folk are confusing me.

  145. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140):

    Would you like some TP for that bunghole?

  146. Cloudbuster
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#138): Actually that’s not surprising. People have often folded dollar bills into improvised pouches for illicit drugs. Uh … so I heard.

  147. Northernlurker
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure, but is Sgt. Popular in the Community McQueen arresting the gang for taking a hike?
    I’ve been hiking in Canada and haven’t got arrested yet.
    Would it kill Jackelrod to make sense?

  148. Cloudbuster
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#130): “MW – Won’t come back from Dead Man’s Curve…” I cringe at the thought, but, yeah, I’m ranking that pretty high on the probability list.

  149. Crankenstank
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Bobby and Gina can’t even see over the dashboard, which leads me to believe they’re actually nine years old and are just playing “house”, which is a lot more plausible than believing they’re consenting adults.

  150. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#145): TP = Toni Punch?

    oooooooo-YEah!

    *brings popcorn*

  151. Cloudbuster
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#91): Wow, you must punch a lot of people with facial hair! Stay away from me!

  152. Barry
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    “I’m totally going to regret losing my virginity to him in two years!”

    Hell, I’d bet a dozen porterhouse steaks she’s lost it two years ago.

  153. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    thorps. Remember, you can’t spell “Asborger’s Syndrobe” without Brody Abro! The disorder is actually spelled Asperger’s Syndrome, but then again, you can’t spell “Getting the details wrong” without Gil Thorp.

  154. John C Fremont
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    I went looking for a stinger clip from MST3K hoping to find one with the theme’s final “Braaang!” Instead, I found this.

  155. leolo\'s cat
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: It seems to me the perspective works if they reclined the seats all the way back… And you know what that means *wink* *wink*. Now I don’t know why they would still wear their seatbelts but maybe they haven’t got quite the hang of S&M play.

  156. Danel
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Perhaps the joke is that by ‘heavy metal’, he then plays the sound of some kind of heavy metal object falling to the floor?

    Yes, I know it’s an awful joke, but otherwise it seems to be yet another “Gosh, ain’t modern technology awful! Those crazy kids!” which nonetheless makes references that wouldn’t be out of place about ten years ago.

  157. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Recently, Darkgate Comics Slurper, the comics-reading source I’ve been using since the Chron dropped its Build-a-Page option, has frozen up on certain strips. I can no longer see new strips of Baby Blues, Bizarro, Dennis the Menace, Garfield, Herb & Jamaal, Marvin, or Yenny.

    Thank you, Comics Slurper!!!

  158. Baka Gaijin
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Contrary to the implication, “Weenie World” is not a sausage fest.

    Helen Keller is furiously signing, “Stop, you twits! Even I can see that no good can come from this!” to both Spiderman and Toni the Firewoman.

    OMFG!!! Watch out Manhatten. Margo Magee is so happy she could hug a stranger. Hug the life out of a stranger, to be exact.

    That Bobby Black. What a romantic guy. Proposing to his equine ass-headed girlfriend in the Buick instead of in a horse-drawn carriage in Central Park.

  159. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    FW: What I want to know is whether the kid dressed as Ron Kovic went the extra mile and got a wheelchair for his costume. This is Westview. It can’t be that hard.

    A3G: Margo is being very careful in her choice of words, and who can blame her? I wouldn’t put it past the Linskis to sneak a listening device onto their newest claim.

    MW: Bobby and Gina have been back together for half an hour, maybe, and they’ve already gotten engaged. Can you imagine how tickled they’ll be when they learn they roofied each other at the same time? And speakin of…

    RMMD: Kelly is about to Sleep With Danger at a cabin in the Lifetime Movie Forest. Spider’s smugly evil friend fills me with mixed emotions. I want to repeatedly bitchslap him, but his hair makes me hungry for soft serve.

    9CL: Oh yes, “Munchausen syndrome” sounds important and, crucially, Teutonic. It also has nothing to do with today’s/this week’s purported joke. It’s like Brooke likes to wave around his dictionary/thesaurus, but never gets around to reading the definitions.

    Luann: Out of context, it looks like Toni is a lunatic threatening a woman who’s just doing her job. Then you realize they’re fighting over Brad. No, context doesn’t really help here.

    H&J: “Accident”? Uhuru, that’s not a very nice thing to call your brother.

    BB: The girls Killer likes wear black lipstick with stink lines coming from it? That’s plenty weird. In fact, he’s making all us breeders look like freaks in front of Beetle.

    EC: Yeah kid, it’s so hard to get things that were made in China.

    DtM: Dennis didn’t even have to smoke a J. His mother might have appreciated one, though.

    DT: The FBI’s Witness Protection office was wary about giving Flakey Biscuits another ludicrous pun for a name. She was insistent, though. “I need another bakin’ name so I can go on the TV!” she said, “Just Frenchify it up a little. No one’s gonna know.”

  160. geekwhisperer
    October 28th, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#83): corrected!

  161. H-Bob
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Do each of Mary & unnamed waitress have a halo ? Hooking up an athlete and groupie shouldn’t be sanctifying !

  162. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Northernlurker (#147):

    Would it kill Jackelrod to make sense?

    That’s the thing. We just don’t know. Obviously he doesn’t want to risk it.

  163. Queen Margo
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    H&L: I believe Chip’s phone is actually playing “Bräng,” the opening chord in Swedish death metal giants Dimmu Borgir’s “Enthrone Darkness Triumphant.”

  164. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Between Niki and Spider’s pal, there seems to be an epidemic of spontaneous head combustion in this town.

  165. AndrewS
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Clearly the Joker has invaded Mary Worth’s world…it’s the only explanation for that maniac smile on the waitresses face in the first panel.

  166. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): Is it as refreshing as a Junior Mint? Because those are very refreshing!

  167. The Gringo Kid
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

  168. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Hi&Lois In contrast to the several commenters here who write off heavy metal as passé, and unlikely to be listened to by a teenager – I’m not so sure. Wikipedia lists 36 separate defined genres of heavy metal, and has articles or sub-articles on each one. To wit:

    1. Alternative metal
    2. Avant-garde metal
    3. Black metal
    4. Christian metal,
    5. Death metal
    6. Technical death metal
    7. Doom metal
    8. Funeral doom
    9. Drone metal
    10. Sludge metal
    11. Extreme metal
    12. Glam metal
    13. Gothic metal
    14. Groove metal
    15. Industrial metal
    16. Neo-classical metal
    17. Nu metal
    18. Power metal
    19. Speed metal
    20. Symphonic metal
    21. Thrash metal
    22. Traditional heavy metal
    23. Viking metal
    24. Crust punk
    25. Folk metal
    26. Funk metal
    27. Grindcore
    28. Metalcore
    29. Deathcore
    30. Melodic death metal
    31. Nintendocore
    32. Post-metal
    33. Progressive metal
    34. Djent
    35. Rap metal
    36. Stoner metal

    The mind boggles. But it doesn’t seem like a moribund sort of music to me. I’m not a fan, but why not Chip?

  169. Shrug
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#168):

    And of Mary Worth Metal they say nothing?

    Oh, right, that’s “Meddle.” Still, close enough for comics work?

  170. Calico
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Slojo Coma (#139):
    This must be Moy’s take on The “Unbearable Lightness of Being.”

  171. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Dilbert — Is this series based on those dolt oil executives that give public exhibitions of drinking fracking fluid? I’ve always wanted to go to one of those exhibitions and ask the exec to drink the fracking fluid AFTER it has been used (and seeped into my well, which the local government says is too contaminated with drilling residue to drink). Drinking the stuff BEFORE is no stunt, being no more dangerous than drinking some brands of Asian beer.

  172. Calico
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#169):
    Mary needs some Meddle Machine Music:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I5OtlKjzJo

  173. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    I’m working on a variant myself: Uke Metal.
    It needs a great deal of work, I fear.

  174. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#23): re your comment for FW: Would Les teaching English Lit using Lisa’s Story be any more or less ethical than a university professor teaching a class and forcing students to pay for a textbook he/she’s written?

    Do they still force students to do book reports in high school? What I wouldn’t give to see a storyline of Cory W. writing a thesis on Lisa’s Story being the archetype of total crapitude.

  175. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Just Call Me E (#123): So, which one’s Alexis and which one’s Crystal? IIRC, Crystal really cleaned Alexis’s clock…

  176. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#174): I know a couple of profs I had in college had us read the books they had written; for a course I took on the history of the film industry, our prof had pretty much the only comprehensive book on the subject.

    I was making a comment on Les thinking his book was great literature, the ethics of it never even occured to me.

  177. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#168):

    My son is a huge metal fan and has been since he was younger than Chip is portrayed to be. Apparently, their are many more styles and mash-ups. To me it is a bunch of branging and crashing.

    Then again I am partial to Buck Owens and the Bakersfield sound, so what do I know.

  178. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#112): *Are you happy now, OMM?
    Happy as a clam. And I just dropped your name on Usenet. Your ears are okay.

    @odinthor (#136): “Cut and dried,” not “cut and dry,” if you please.
    I’d just as leave tow the line, because the proof is in the pudding.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#173): I’m still looking for a backer for my 80s project, “Hooked on Gregorian Chant.”

    I have a reed organ. If only it was a church organ or a theater organ, we could put its pedal to the metal. @Thirsty Thurston (#177): I like the Bakersfield Boogie Boys and their high-pitched mechanical interpretation of “Okie from Muskogee.”

  179. Argon
    October 28th, 2011 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    MW…Oh Bobby,my dear…We’ll be rich beyond our dreams…and when we are,can we buy a car that I can fucking see over the dashboard of??

  180. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    MW: That’s one hell of a romantic marriage proposal there, Bobby. No table in a fancy NYC restaurant (or the Bub Boat, even), no champagne, no ring — not even in the friggin’ back seat during the throughs of passion.

  181. UncleJeff
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: With those seats that close together, I’m guessing Bobby and Ponytail are in a small car…like an MG Midget and that Bobby has just smashed the car into a telephone pole,,,cracking the frame so it’s bent at a 30-degree angle right at the end of the crumple zone.
    That’s the only way I can figure how he’s driving with the dashboard and windshield in that location.

  182. mr12ozcan
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    mark trail- i still dont understand johnny marlottes role in this adventure whos running his fishing camp ? plus what about the magazine editor who is financing mark and kelly to research and write this story whats he drinking . i say andy gets behind mcqueen and mark and johnny bumrush him the old schoolyard trick works magic again

  183. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#177): Well, naturally there are more styles and types and schools of metal. Musicians, like all artists, like to progress, to build on their earlier work. For instance, if I had started out playing Doom Metal (#7 on the list) on my ukulele, naturally I’d move on, evolve if you will, to Quake Metal. It’s all part of the psychology of the Id.

  184. Cal
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Looks like Toni’s picked up a few lessons from Dirk. FYI: grabbing and physically threatening other people on your significant other’s behalf is every bit as controlling and intimidating as grabbing and threatening your significant other. Getting your boyfriend fired by assaulting his boss because you don’t like the way she looks at him? Also abusive.

  185. Chyron HR
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#168): Yeah, and Yes* just came out with a new album, but prog rock is still dead.

    * Well, Yes-ish. More like a “Maybe”.

  186. Shrug
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#185):

    “Yes* just came out with a new album, but prog rock is still dead. * Well, Yes-ish. More like a “Maybe”.”

    Or as we say in Minnesota, “Whatever.”

  187. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178): I have a reed organ. If only it was a church organ or a theater organ, we could put its pedal to the metal.

    And pull out all the stops? Ow. How do you manage to sleep at night? Anyway, glad to know my ears are ok. Thought my tinnitus was acting up for a bit there.

  188. Mark B.
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#181): Plus 50 pts. for mentioning the Midget. However, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t an available color. I’m gonna say it was a Mary Kay Cadillac, specially modified with love seats.

  189. Scott Bot
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#188): Actually, it looks more like a B-52 cockpit simulator than anything. Which would explain the blank screen where the windshield would ordinarily be.

  190. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#183):

    My son actually plays in an Id metal band, The Wizards. They generally play with a post-apocalyptic metal band, BC and the Carps.

    I used to go to their concerts but the music made my ears hart.

  191. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#180):

    Give him a break – He is trying to make it in New York City on a minor league soccer player’s salary. It isn’t as if he is living on Easy Street. Plus he barely knows this woman and is most likely only proposing as a desperate gambit to finally get into her pants.

  192. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wait wait wait… the screwed-up perspective in the Mammoth Death Car O’Death is distracting us from a crucial point. Is American professional soccer really in such financial trouble that they make their star players DRIVE from New York to California and back for games? Not even a team bus?

  193. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#186): “Whatever” could be a good prog rock band name. Also, seed for innumerable Abbott & Costello hommage routines.

    - Yes is playing at the Arena tonight!
    - Who’s the opening act?
    - Not Who. Whatever.

    … but, no, that would be wrong.

  194. Liam
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Art Without Rules” the most talked about unseen event.

    MT-Sergeant, I would be less worried about arresting Mark on trumped up charges and more worried about the giant beavers that you have running around.

    MW-The windshield on that car is drawn completely wrong. You have to be standing up in the backseat just to look in the rearview mirror.

    Blondie-Dagwood has suddenly realized his true calling.

  195. NotThatGuy
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    MW: See, Mary? That could have been you and Aldo.

  196. Calico
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178):
    And on the flip side, one of my frinds from University, who is a University music teacher, knows how to play “Lithium” on the Uke. (I find this song to be very well written.)
    There’s also a bluegrass album of AC/DC covers out there-really.

  197. NotThatGuy
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#192):

    “And then I woke up.”

  198. Liam
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    JP-Mr. Driver, I have one question for you. Are you the Doctor? This bus is bigger on the inside than the outside.

  199. pugfuggly
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

  200. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Cal (#184):

    “Getting your boyfriend fired by assaulting his boss because you don’t like the way she looks at him? Also abusive.”

    Reminds me of an incident a few years ago when the company I worked for shared a floor with a telemarketing/phone bank company. It was exciting even if just in the sense that the female employees usually dressed as if they were heading straight to their evening shift dancing at Tattletales right after they left the building.

    One morning, there was a heavy police presence in the lobby when I got in to work. It was explained to me that one of the telemarketers had hidden in a closet and waited until the end of his manager’s shift, at which point he grabbed the manager, pulled him into the closet with him, held a gun to his head, and told him he would blow his brains out if he ever caught him looking at his girlfriend (also an employee there) again.

    Now, if you are stupid enough to do something like that, then you are also stupid enough to SHOW UP FOR WORK THE NEXT MORNING like this guy did.

  201. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#190): You probably go for more the Do Wah! style, like “Mary Worth and the Meddlers”.

  202. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#201):

    Personally, I liked her East Coast sound before she headed west to be part of the counter culture scene.

    Mary Worth and the Delaware Meddlers turned out some of my favorite hits.

  203. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#196): Hayseed Dixie. They started with AC/DC covers, and have expanded. It’s impressive how well they do the various metal standards.

  204. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#202): Tragic that such a great talent was lost when she OD’d on salmon squares! If only kids would listen!

  205. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    On the day she was born
    The nurses all gathered ’round
    To gaze in wide wonder
    At the joy they had found.
    The head nurse spoke up
    Said leave this one alone
    She could tell right away
    She was meddle to the bone.

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): There’s a band that does Metallica covers using chamber music instruments, I heard once. Pretty impressive.

  207. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

  208. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#200): This wouldn’t have been a Teletech Call Center, would it? Because if it was, I’m not terribly surprised…

  209. Anachrosaurus
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: “We chose different paths… I took the glamorous one of Hallmark store hold-up man. He took the suicidal one of snatching purses from heavily-armed cops. Call us the yin and yang.”

  210. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#206):

    According to my son, there is a metal band that bases their work on WWII battles of the German eastern front.

    We both share an interest in WWII so we will attend lectures on the subject. You don’t see too many 20 year old metal heads at these events.

  211. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Anachrosaurus (#209): COTW material.

  212. Taquelli
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    H&L – I like the expectant look on Hi’s face in panel one as his son, with whom he has nothing in common, tells him about something he probably doesn’t care about. He’s probably just happy that he’s being spoken to at all by his surly teenager, and he thinks they might finally bond on an emotional level, that he might finally be at peace with his own offspring. And then. Brang.

  213. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#210): …metal band that bases their work on WWII battles
    I bet their amps go up to twelve.

  214. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#210):

    Wow. I’d love to hear their version of the battle of Veliki Luki.

    I’ve enjoyed the death metal stylings of PanzerChrist, by any chance are they the band your son referred to? “PanzerGrenadier” is my favorite track off of Soul Collector.

  215. Anonymous
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Kablichnick sure didn’t do his research. Newton would never stoop to teaching a class, or even discussing his theories with such ignoramuses. He also wouldn’t be posing, ponce-style, but would more likely be seething with rage, sulking, and slinking off to his chambers to continue his secret alchemical studies.

    Next time, Bobby and Gina should consider removing the sun shade from the windshield before they go for a spin on Aldo’s Curve. Hah, who am I kidding? There won’t BE a next time!

  216. Mary Worthless
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    I was wondering if Bobby would have recognized Gina and then fell madly in love with here, as mid-fielders are prone to do, if she had changed her hairstyle?

    Watching the bouncing pony is a big turn on, especially for mid-fielders.

  217. Harold
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Aaaand this was me:

    Mr. Kablichnick sure didn’t do his research. Newton would never stoop to teaching a class, or even discussing his theories with such ignoramuses. He also wouldn’t be posing, ponce-style, but would more likely be seething with rage, sulking, and slinking off to his chambers to continue his secret alchemical studies.

    Next time, Bobby and Gina should consider removing the sun shade from the windshield before they go for a spin on Aldo’s Curve. Hah, who am I kidding? There won’t BE a next time!

  218. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#208):

    ICT, but they are all pretty much the same. They had a bell that someone would ring periodically, presumably denoting having sold another time share or whatever. And if you were interested in the different-smelling cigarettes they would smoke on break, it was a good source for that….

  219. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#196): Hayseed Dixie. I’ve actually heard some of their tunes. Wild stuff.

  220. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#214):

    I believe you are correct and I am willing to bet he has a black t-shirt with their name on it.

  221. Calico
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#203): @Artist formerly known as Ben (#219):
    Do y’all think Jughaid will join eventually? He is the child prodigy of Hootin’ Holler, after all.

  222. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Thirsty Thurston (#210): Iron Maiden did Aces High about the Battle of Britain.

  223. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#222): *returns from watching video on Youtube.*

    I’d forgotten just how kick ASS that song is.

  224. commodorejohn
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#185): Ugh, how sadly true. I was willing to give the new kid a chance, but he sounds like a poor man’s Geddy Lee doing a poor man’s Jon Anderson, and the actual music (the last track excepted) is just dull.

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#200): Sounds a lot like my workplace. (Luckily, the part of my workplace I don’t actually work in.) I think it’s just a telemarketing thing.

  225. commodorejohn
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#196): Aw yeah, “Lithium.” The song that got me into Nirvana (seven or eight years after the fact.)

  226. seismic-2
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    MW:I realize that it is traditional to get down on one knee while proposing, but this is ridiculous.

    FW: “Lighten up.” It would be better if there were a second panel in which Mr. Kablichnick says “OK, then!” and holds up a prism to the sunlight. Or in the first panel, the Hippie Boy next to mini-Elvis should follow up by saying, “Heavy.” Oh who am I trying to kid, this strip is unsalvageable, by any means. That is, unless Kablichnick decides to impersonate Isaac Newton in his tenure as Director of the Royal Mint, declares the whole class to be counterfeiters, and sentences them all to be hanged.

  227. Comcis Fan
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: This may not read like “Romeo and Juliet” but methinks the outcome may be no less tragic. Perchance Iambic wrong.

  228. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    also, for the folks who haven’t already seen Hayseed Dixie’s version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

    “aint gonna let you go. . . .”

  229. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#178): I’m still looking for a backer for my 80s project, “Hooked on Gregorian Chant.”

    Have you tried marketing it as Going Totally Medieval Rap? Make sure the album covers show knights whacking each other’s limbs off with huge swords.

  230. Comcis Fan
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#225): That’s not so long. 80s groups are new to me. I became a Beatlemaniac in the mid-70s. Maybe I was a Plugger even in my teens.

  231. TheDiva
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Harold (#217): So, you’re saying Les should be the one dressed up as Newton?

  232. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#140): “Luann – “Heheh, heh, are you threatening me?””
    o please, let her be threatening her bunghole. . . .
    BUNGhole.”

    You must bow down before the almighty bunghole.

  233. Bootsy
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#91):

    But are you very popular in the community?

  234. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#231): No. Les should be dressed as Sir (Saint) Thomas More, the Man for All Seasons. After all, Les IS Moore.

  235. Liam
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    MW-Tragedy struck Bobby and Gina when unable to tear their eyes from each other they missed the sign indicating a curve ahead and drove off the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Turn crashing onto the top of the remains of Aldo Kelrast and his car. Both Bobby and Gina tragically died on impact.

  236. Marc
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#235): Sure, umm tragically. The next pool party can be held in their honor.

  237. Anonymous
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    MW — The appearance of that poor waitress keeps deteriorating. Tomorrow I fully expect her to have a rounder face, freckles, a missing tooth, and a “What Me Worry?” button.

  238. littlestevie
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#173): Ever see Jake Shimabukuro? That guy could do Uke Metal and he probably has.

  239. Poteet
    October 28th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#237): That was me. C’mon, computer, quit it.

  240. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#238): Jake? Oh. My. Yes.
    Why, man, he doth bestride the ukulele world
    Like a Colossus, and we petty players
    Walk under his huge legs and peep about
    Wond’ring if a new Martin or Fluke would help.

    I paraphrase, of course.

  241. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#173): I had a different idea in mind instead of ukelele metal . . . .

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#241): Goodness! You’re more encyclopedic than Lydia!

  243. Holy Boxcar, Batman!
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @The Gringo Kid (#116): I was thinking Sylvia Plath for Susan–a cardboard box would make a great oven for her head to be stuck in.

    Luann: I know that this is all a pretext for a big girl fight (complete with porn soundtrack in Greg Evans’ head) and believe me, I love the big girl fights. However, Toni does realize that she is about to assault someone because TJ told her to, right? Doing anything because TJ tells you to should make you realize that you are about to do something really stupid. But, big girl fight, right?!?! Carry on!

  244. odinthor
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    #200. CCB.

    One morning, there was a heavy police presence in the lobby [...]

    It’s a little-known fact that the doughnut consumption notoriously indulged in by our valiant officers of the law is actually regulation constabulary preparation for incidents which, as above, require a presence of heavy police. Svelte police are constantly complaining because of the few requests for a slender police presence. It seems to be a clear case of discrimination; but, as of yet, no legal entities have taken on the case.

  245. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#187): It doesn’t have many stops. It has a choice between viola, diapason, and none of the above, and that’s about it. It’s basically a giant harmonica with a fan, but when I was living in a hotel room, it was nice to have a keyboard of any sort. (This was in the 70s: no Casio keyboards to speak of.)

    @206: I haven’t heard any of the examples mentioned so far, but I do have an album of Frank Zappa compositions played by an early music consort that works for me.

  246. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @mr12ozcan (#182): There are two redeeming elements to the current “plot”:
    1) Bird-band mania!
    2) Andy

    @Poteet (#239): I assume that this is Moy & Giella’s idea of a timely Halloween reference; after all, what could be scarier than a horny jack o’ lantern diner waitress actively seeking meddling?

  247. yaoi huntress earth
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#159): Especially since Munchhausen Syndrome is related to medical ailments, not general lying.

  248. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#244): *applaz*

    well played, sir!

  249. littlestevie
    October 28th, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    MW: I know people are hoping for an Aldo like swan song for Bobby and Gina, but I really, really hope that Bobby is a made man and this whole thing is just a set up so he can do a hit on Gina.

  250. zerowolf
    October 28th, 2011 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    MW: With a windshield made of tinfoil, what could go wrong?

  251. Some Guy
    October 28th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Northernlurker (#147): I’m not certain, but in as much as there’s any shred of logic to the plotline whatsoever, I think the Sarge in red serge is arresting them for releasing Andy, who he’d impounded, supposedly because of a rabies scare, but really because he was afraid Andy would lead Mark to Happy Valley (which he then did, but only because Kelly thought McQueen’s impounding him was suspicious).

    Not that any of this makes more sense than arresting them for hiking would.

  252. Alison
    October 28th, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Bobby’s marriage proposal is about as creative and passionate as Anthony’s from FOOB.

    I do hope we get a knock-down, drag-out fight between Toni Daytona and An Eyeful tomorrow. It would almost make this whole crummy strip worthwhile.

  253. Trillian
    October 28th, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I see where this is going…Ann, having now been threatened, gets a restraining order against Toni that forces her to stay 200 feet away from Weenie World, and then she forces Brad to work triple shifts in perpetuity. They’ll never see each other again! BWAHAHA!

  254. Revenge of Chesnut
    October 28th, 2011 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Clearly, Gina and whatshisname are driving one of my Barbies’ cars from the early ’90s: pink convertible with grayish/purpleish dashboard that features only a glove box and a big vent.

  255. Joe Blevins
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

  256. John B
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: How short are Gina and Bobby, and how are they not dead? They can’t even see over the dashboard!

  257. demoncat
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    mw i would love gina and bobby to marry but only if i am the one to help plan it . not relizing bobby and gina were about to be hit by tragedy

  258. Cloudbuster
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    GT: “Wow, it’s going to be really hard to realistically depict Gil Thorpe bonding with a kid with a social disorder, because, well, seriously. What are we gonna do? Hey! I’ve got an idea…!”

    “And later in the week:”

  259. Austria
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    BB: Killer picks up goth chicks.

    FW: Ha ha! It’s funny, because Batuik still labors under the delusion that teenage girls don’t dress like skanks for Halloween, and that dress codes are actually enforced! What a hoot!!

    MW: Nice try, Bobby, but nothing can surpass Paulinski’s NEVER FORGET 9/11 proposal.

    PBS: I want to see this strip’s take on the Occupy movement.

    RMMD: Oh snap! Oh snap! Roofies! Kelly’s gonna drink roofies! Kelly’s gonna get taken advantage of and we’ll all learn a Very Valuable Lesson about pouring your own drink at a p– hey, is that Lucas?

  260. Mooncattie
    October 28th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Are those Game 7 tickets? I’ll get real friendly too, Lipless Boy! At last, we’ve found the formula for the perfect Rex Morgan MD storyline: Sex, Drugs, and No Rex Morgan.

    A3G – Hey Green Van, get off HER STREET!

    MW – (AP) NEW YORK A horrific car crash has taken the life of New York Blazes star striker Bobby Black. Black was killed instantly when his oversized fuschia vehicle collided with a transport truck carrying salmon squares at the corner of Easy Street and Meddling Lane earlier today. Also found at the crash scene was a ponytail, owner unknown.

    JP – He’s a smug little git, isn’t he Sam? Remind you of anyone? Hmm? Sam?

  261. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#253): I’m guessing the other way around. Toni will claim that she was acting in self-defence because Ann touched her first. The judge (who has been given a script by Evans so that he knows the good guys from the bad guys — since there’s no reasonable way of determining this from behaviour) will agree, and Ann will be punished in some humiliating fashion.

  262. Spotts1701
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#261): Humiliating fashion? She works at WeenieWorld. What could possibly be more humiliating than that?

  263. Baka Gaijin
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Mooncattie (#260): Your Mary Worth news flash is worthy of a COTW nomination. I love “the corner of Easy Street and Meddling Lane.”

  264. commodorejohn
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#262): I don’t know what would be more humiliating than working at Phallus Planet, but you can rest assured that whatever it is, it will happen. And if you listen real close, you’ll be able to hear the sound of Evans fapping to it.

  265. Mr K Martin
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    HI&LOIS: Wow! Chip’s tuned in to my favorite metal band “The Past Tense of Bring”!

  266. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#264): TiffapanyTiffapanyTiffapany

  267. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    *looks innocent*

  268. Frank Lee Meidere
    October 28th, 2011 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#262): Brad would be her boss.

  269. Sisi
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    MW: What could possibly happen? The Postman Always Rings Twice, They Drive By Night, Dead Reckoning, Thieves’ Highway, and Wages of Death, that’s what. If only.

    Cars in film noir: http://www.archidose.org/writings/film-noir.html

  270. Old School Allie Cat
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Look, is it wrong to hope that buying Josh’s book helps my cause in the COTW Parade?

    Especially given that I haven’t said anything remotely COTWworthy since…

    Look, I’ve been busy this year.

    And last year.

  271. Badger3k
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Why is the world of Mary Worth so full of horse-faced women? I can’t see the guy, but he’s probably a grotesque too – in fact what I can make it looks like a deformed nose at the least. I guess the people’s faces do reflect their inner nature!

  272. Liam
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Queen Bee? What can one say about her? She was dressed as Mona Lisa with a frame around her neck. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it. It went viral.”

  273. Chyron HR
    October 28th, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#264): She’ll be assigned to manage the Japanese branch.

  274. Thirsty Thurston
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#228):

    A tip o’ the Hatlo Hat to you.

  275. Sgt. Stoned
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey: So, Killer is dating a Goth chick who wears black lipstick and like kissing shirt fronts. Kinky, man.

    MT: Oh, just kill them all Doug and bury the bodies. No one will ever know.

    MW: All Gina and Bobby need now is a fifth of Johnny Walker , ala Aldo Kelrast.

  276. Spotts1701
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#273): Eh, it’s been done. Maybe they’ll send her to a worse place – Hoboken.

  277. ElkMeadow
    October 28th, 2011 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sisi (#269):

    Dead Man’s Curve, coming up ahead, and Bobby’s not keeping his eyes on the road.

  278. Some Guy Here
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: What could possibly go wrong? Them making it home safely, that’s what!

  279. ElkMeadow
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#252):

    I disagree.
    -Bobby says he loved/loves Gina. Anthony never said he love Liz.
    -Bobby actually asked Gina to marry him. Anthony sort of suggested, said, hinted, whined, whatever, and Liz had to take a whole panel to figure out what he was saying.
    -We all knew Gina loves Bobby. We still haven’t figured out why Liz went through with marrying Anthony.

  280. Spotts1701
    October 28th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#279): My money’s on brainwashing and/or a lobotomy.

  281. Baka Gaijin
    October 29th, 2011 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    See the new COTW! Just ahead!

  282. dale
    October 29th, 2011 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    MW – Is Bobby’s question an actual proposal or just a search for information?

  283. FOOBed again
    October 29th, 2011 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#279): You’re so right. Plus, right after proposing, Anthony implied that he’d have a breakdown or worse if his marriage to Liz didn’t work out. Wow, how romantic. I don’t think that’ll happen with Bobby.

    And like you said, Gina loved Bobby and always had. Of course she apparently never grew up emotionally and whole story with her and Bobby is implausible, but at least she’d always loved him and he was the one she wanted to marry.

    Liz dated Anthony in high school mainly because he was the first boy to be interested in her and she was afraid she’d never have a boyfriend. She married him for the same reason, I think, because all her friends were getting married and she was afraid she’d always be alone, and her parents kept pushing them together. But there was no evidence that Liz actually loved Anthony. She seemed a lot more interested in Paul and even Eric than she ever was in Anthony. I don’t know why Lynn Johnston decided that Anthony and Liz should get together and that it would be so wonderful.

  284. Anne
    October 29th, 2011 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    To judge from the onomatopoeic word Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC use to represent “heavy metal,” the suggestion is that they think heavy metal is literally the sound produced by hitting a heavy, metallic object – perhaps a cast-iron skillet, or an out of tune church bell.

  285. Dennis Jimenez
    October 29th, 2011 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    MW – Meanwhile…. Gina, will you be my beard? Yes, I will Bobbie!

  286. Sgt. Saunders
    October 29th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    FW: Sorry, The CW, the proper phrase is “Ease up, Friend”. Then, if he utters one more word, you have carte blanche to punch Mr. Sir Newton back into the 17th century.

  287. jules
    October 29th, 2011 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    FW, Am I an idiot because I don’t get the clever wordplay here? would someone care to explain it?

  288. ElkMeadow
    October 29th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#y283):

    I don’t know why Lynn Johnston decided that Anthony and Liz should get together and that it would be so wonderful.

    That one of the topics of the ongoing discussion at http://binky-betsy.livejournal.com/
    We think that the answer may lie in Lynn Johnston’s life story.

  289. greghousesgf
    October 30th, 2011 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    I like hayseed Dixie a lot, but i LOVE Richard Cheese.

  290. Dennis Jimenez
    October 30th, 2011 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile – Gina, would you do me the honor of being my beard, ah, er, bride….

  291. BeckoningChasm
    November 4th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Those Funky Winkerbean Halloween costumes are just terrible. I realize this comment isn’t clever or funny, but I was compelled to post it anyway due to the sheer terribleness.

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