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Plugger love goes to the grave

Gil Thorp, 12/14/11

Oh, hey, it looks like this year’s current basketball plot will bring back some mildly beloved characters from last winter, including the witty, fashion-forward, Glee-and-Project-Runway-loving, do-we-have-to-spell-it-out-for-you, well-too-bad-we’re-not-going-to-for-some-reason Lini Verde. Lini gives Lopat’s new tattoo the savagely hilarious put-down it probably deserves (not that any of us reading at home would know, since the strip stubbornly refuses to actually show it to us), but I’m more interested in the fact that Lini is pushing his freakishly long finger straight into his face, presumably to distract himself from the fact that he needs to spend another year minimum surrounded by these witless cretins.

Pluggers, 12/14/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because pluggers’ friends are all dying, and they’re too tired or scared to make new ones! You know, if I were this he-plugger I’d be concerned by where exactly his wife is going with this conversation, because it sounds to me that she’s about to float her idea for a murder-suicide pact.

262 responses to “Plugger love goes to the grave”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Art Clokey, the Asgardian God of Bad Things, tricks Thor into going toe-to-toe with Spider-Man. He also dispatches several of his murderous minions to Midgard to further his nefarious plans:

    Gumby poses as Harley Niav/Putty Puss and steals the secret formula for Gingold® from Ralph Dibny’s vault. Clokey will then use the formula (along with the real Harley’s DNA) to create an unstoppable army of shapeshifters and bodybenders.

    Pokey ends up in Mary Worth’s diner as a hamburger eaten by Emily Smith’s kidnapper. Realizing that he’s been deliberately poisoned, the kidnapper whips out a gun and fires wildly at the waitress and the cook. Both employees manage to escape the diner uninjured, but the hapless Emily Smith (who’s really a bewitched Sif) and Mary Worth are mortally wounded.

    Davey and Goliath have infiltrated the Trail family as Rusty and Sassy Trail. The top two Clokey operatives plan to coerce Mark into doing the Norse god’s bidding. D/G’s secret weapon: Doc Davis (Mark’s deceptively mild father-in-law), who has been a Clokey flunky since 1946. After 65 years spent working in a well-equipped secret laboratory beneath the Trail cabin, Davis has finally succeeded in creating not one, but two deadly new species of monster. The first species is the giant human/insect hybrid Davis calls “Buggers”. But worse by far is the giant human/animal hybrid species the world will come to know as… “PLUGGERS”!

  2. Oregonian
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    So, there have been a few times already this week when I’ve found myself absent-mindedly singing the words to “Safety Dance” aloud, much to the consternation of my wife, my child, the other people in the elevator, etc. etc. Even a quick switch to Green Day or Social Distortion hasn’t been enough to salvage my street credentials.

    That Putty Puss… He’s a villain all right.

  3. Jen
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke can’t leave well enough alone.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Plugger couples dying in unison?? What most foul mischief is at play here? Seek out the villain! Could it be… a shared obese lifestyle that involves sitting on their lumpy asses and eating far more than their dietary needs?

  5. R in CT
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    See, I see the “Pluggers” panel differently: The he-Plugger has already died and was stuffed and mounted there in the she-Plugger’s office, where she still talks to him as if he’s alive, and only now, with an air of whimsy, may be recognizing her own mortality.

  6. OMEGA SUPREME
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    9CL:
    I sure wish there was a better selection of pictures of this strip at the paheal site.
    I only read this strip for the skin – what’s the clause that the lawyers are going to invoke? Or do we know?

  7. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MW-Are you sure it is her, Mary? Don’t you know that all white ten year old girls look alike.

    A3G-Grrrr! I’m so angrish. I will spend the next few days telling you I am angrish before I tell you why I am angrish.

    MT-Look at Princess go. She’s just torn the throat out of one wolf and has another one on the ground pinned underneath her paw.

    Gil Thorp-”An ’83 Chevy van.” That is the sort of response you would expect from a soap opera comic strip stereotypical homosexual character.

  8. Nemovir
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Ooh, somebody’s been getting lessons from Mark Trail.

  9. Some Guy
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    ASM: So Loki’s cunning plan is to trick Thor into believing MJ is Sif, because she has a ponytail, despite the fact that MJ’s a redhead and Marvel’s Sif is a brunette. In his efforts to “rescue” her, Thor will have to fight Spider-Man.

    This would be an awesome plan … if it was Spidey he wanted dead. I don’t see how it’s going to help his feud against Thor, though.

    A3G: “I didn’t lie, Paul! You never asked if I’d been married before! In fact, come to think of it, you’ve never asked anything about me!”

    Crankshaft: Worst Doctor Who Christmas episode ever.

  10. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#7):

    GT – Lini is a High School Senior. He wasn’t even born in 1983. Maybe in 1993. This is the sort of response you expect from a late-middle-aged man scripting dialogue for a High School kid who spends too much of his time watching Kathy Griffin on Bravo.

    Luann – Fits with Gil Thorp by featuring a clearly gay high school student who the author refuses to bring out of the closet. Maybe if all local males are castrated at birth it would explain B-Wad and Gunther, but Quill is an import. His complete indifference as the head cheerleader rubs her breasts against him while his platonic, wise-cracking not-girlfriend looks on tells you all you need to know.

    RMMD – Looks as if Spider forgot his geritol this morning. He’s at risk of a broken hip from Nikki’s hormone-fueled rage. At least he will have a good story to share with his friends from the senior’s center the next time he sees them at the Old Country Buffet.

  11. AmyS
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    A3G: It’s true, Luann never lied to Paul. She never told him anything at all about herself, and he never asked, but technically she didn’t lie.

    MW: Good for Mary, recognizing the kidnapped girl and coming up with a plan for help. Too bad the fact that she’s making the universal gesture for “call me” will alert the kidnapper to her plans, even though the meaning is lost on Bree the waitress.

    JP: So are we supposed to infer that April went over and killed Chibale, knowing that the 24-hour surveillance on him was being carried out with the same half-assed approach as everything else in this town, or is this just another plot cul-de-sac to give the illusion of action between wanton displays of unearned wealth?

  12. Chyron HR
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    DT – This only raises the question, does the Dick Tracy team think that “The Safety Dance” was a disco song? It appears to be the odd one out.

    Pluggers – Obviously the restless spirit of Helen became a monster and killed Jim. For more information on this phenomenon, see the fine documentary series Bleach.

    Also, I just got a floating ad thing appearing over this page. PLEASE STOP.

  13. tb4000
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    9CL: I do have to commend Brooke for going all Simpsons/Family Guy-ish with this cliche.

  14. Dina
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s the Diner of Lost Things! First Mary’s sweater, then the girl. Will her wallet be next?

  15. Cowracer
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Of course pluggers rolodexes are getting smaller, they stopped making the damn things when they figured out they could build a computer that fit in a single room. I can only picture some sort of rolodex card black market going on were people buy and sell them like so much cocaine.

  16. anon
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Luanne: If memory serves, this Aussie guy is Luanne’s second ‘romance’ with a foreign student (remember the hot guy from Spain some years ago?). That is, both were imports. Can Luanne not find a boyfriend anywhere in her own school, other than Gunther (well, sort of a boyfriend)? Or are all the typical American boyfriend materials in her school just idiotic losers throwing spitballs and sticking paper straws up their noses in the cafeteria?

  17. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    JP-How did your man lose her? We live in a city. There are plenty of lights on all the time. Did we have a minor blackout last night?

  18. sporknpork
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Actually that’s Parker’s finger poking into Lini’s (psychotic) face, as Parker has noticed his hands for the first time ever and discovers the experience of the sense of touch.

  19. S. Stout
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I wonder who this Michael Boyer is that comes up with Rolodex jokes. He must be a hit at all the parties.

    Luann: This strip is better when you figure out the daily dare Greg Evans had to accomplish to impress his friends. Today’s Dare: Use the word “bother” three times. Of course, this doesn’t compete with the ultimate dare: making your protagonists completely unlikeable.

  20. Mibbitmaker
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    A3G: Because he’s a controlling asshole, LuAnn.

    Crank: Can’t a guy have an actual joke?

    DT: “Nosir — Uh-uh! Uh-uh! — I don’t like it — Uh-uh! Uh-uh!” — Mr. Horse and the Sunshine Band

    FW: “But I can’t ’cause I’m FREAKIN’ DEAD!!!”

    MG&G: Newing up an old joke.

    PBS: [put Alec Baldwin joke here]

    Pluggers are all in a furry Westview.

  21. Chip Whittle
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @anon (#16):

    Luanne: If memory serves, this Aussie guy is Luanne’s second ‘romance’ with a foreign student (remember the hot guy from Spain some years ago?). That is, both were imports. Can Luanne not find a boyfriend anywhere in her own school, other than Gunther (well, sort of a boyfriend)? Or are all the typical American boyfriend materials in her school just idiotic losers throwing spitballs and sticking paper straws up their noses in the cafeteria?

    The only other boys in Luann High School are Gunther and that kind of amusingly odd guy who hangs around Gunther and Goth Unit Girl Whatever Her Name Is. I realize the teenage heart is a fickle and unpredictable thing, but with those options, I’d be choosing to either date the foreign exchange students or else that one male unit teacher, you know, the Muppet Who Keeps Getting Grover As His Waiter.

  22. Abby, the Wonderdog
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Um, excuse me Rex, there is an unconscious girl inside who needs a doctor STAT!!!

    You can continue your “horseplay” with the boys later. Besides, if Spider gets past Nikki’s fists of fury a simple phone call to the police to be on the lookout for a 37 year old high school junior with a mohawk riding a Vespa will be all that is needed.

    Bark! Bark! Bark!

  23. Calico
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Dina (#14):
    It would be such a great gift to all of us if a seemingly random guy turned around in his booth seat and looked at Mary, and…that guy turned out to be Aldo.
    Now THAT would make it Christmas!

  24. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FW – In yesterthread, Lumpy linked to a Lisa’s Video From Beyond the Grave in which she appears as clearly sickly and dying. In this one, she looks healthy. So did she make it for Darrin’s 4th birthday and it has sat on a shelf waiting ever since? Or did she recognize that everyone in Westview dies a tragic death sooner rather than later, and pre-emptively make a whole series of videotapes covering all eventualities? Sort of like the nightly news shows with pre-taped obituaries.

    “Ok, for this one, I’ll assume I’m in a coma after losing my arm in a car accident, and Darrin is a POW in Afghanistan. ‘Hello Darrin! I hope your captors are treating you well. I’m sure your wife is faithfully awaiting your safe return ….’”

  25. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @anon (#16):

    “this Aussie guy is Luanne’s second ‘romance’ with a foreign student”

    Also fits my theory that local males are castrated at birth, so they import gay foreign exchange students just to torment the local females. Evans is getting his vicarious revenge on everyone he possibly can.

  26. Mark B
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    RMMD: How conveeenient! Spider provides the pigsticker with which Dr. Rex performs the emergency tracheotomy to save Kelly’s life.

  27. Cloudbuster
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Luann: The gocomics comments are filled with the un-ironic Luann fans savaging that whore Tiffany for mooching a ride. Note that if the roles were reversed this would be depicted as Sophie uh, I mean Luann cleverly outmaneuvering Tiffany.

    Pibgorn: Today McE explains how to make excuses for improbable character behavior in the name of furthering your story. We have another word for it: laziness.

  28. John C Fremont
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

  29. gleeb
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    3-G: She’s not lying, Paul. Lu Ann has brain damage, and didn’t remember being married.

    ‘shaft: Nothing that exists is safe from Ed crapping on it.

    Dick: I’m still not sure if this is going to be amusing, or if it will make me want to kick someone.

    ‘bean: “…but I’m dead, Dead, DEAD! Never stop focusing on that, even for a moment, or it means you are a thankless child to the Mommy who abandoned you!”

    Love is: …ignoring that he’s a eunuch.

    Rex: Teaching us the important lesson: screw fighting “fair”, gang up on him.

    SpideyThor: One big guess who’s a dead ringer for Sif. Yep, it’s Aunt May.

  30. Maggie the Cat
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    I normally dislike Gil Thorp but the put down about looking like an ’83 Chevy van made me LOL.

  31. Dood
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: On the bright side, don’t the dead chicken pluggers get funeral-barbecues?

  32. doggans
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    I know a couple named Jim and Helen, so I was startled by today’s Pluggers.

    Is there a support group for people who have their first actual reaction to Pluggers?

  33. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Ha ha! It’s funny because Pluggers have paper rolodexes and old fashioned roll top wooden desks. They use rotary dial phones, which are an upgrade from shouting their personal business out the window to the neighbor.

  34. wossname
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MW – WTF is going on with Mary’s left hand in panel 2? Is she supposed to be whispering behind her hand? (If so, her hand is in the wrong place.) Is she pantomiming “phone” because Bree’s not very bright? (If so, her hand is in the wrong place.) Is she trying to keep her brain from exploding and squirting out her ear? In that case, her hand might be in the right place.

    RMMD – Unfortunately Kelli has expired under the tree while all this manly fisticuff action is going on.

    S4th – The only thing that will make this even more horribly fun is the arrival of Jackie and Ralph.

    A3G – “The woman I planned to spend my life with.” So it’s over? You’ll be leaving now, Paul? Excellent!

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#Y221): Many thanks for explaining the current Phantom plot. Now could you explain what’s going on in Sunday Phantom, which I find even more baffling?

  35. Carly
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    If Pluggers mate for life, it makes me rethink whether or not that’s a good idea.

  36. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Niki shows that he is a better boyfriend than Spider because instead of trying to save Kelly’s life, he’s punching Spider. Yeah, all the chicks want an attentive guy like that.

    Hey Romeo, here’s a tip from a guy who couldn’t get laid in a Bangcock whorehouse with a fist full of $20s: Keep the girl breathing. Necrophilia is gross. And illegal, but mostly gross.

  37. Scott Bot
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – As his wife informs him of the fate of his old friends, Wilford Brimley thinks ‘If they would have gotten their diabetes testing supplies from Liberty Mutual, maybe this tragedy would have been averted.’

  38. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Niki should really watch out for Spider’s mohawk. That thing is razor thin and twice as sharp. It could chop wood.

  39. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#36):

    I was going to mock Nikki for that. But then I thought of the 14YO I have at home, the one whose life comes to an end if he has his cell phone taken away for 1/2 hour and is thus unable to text his girlfriend every minute to let her know he still wuvvvs her, and I think he would do the same thing. Hormones take over, and only what is in front of him exists. Sick girlfriend is the Doctor’s responsibility, and thus is filed under “Not My Fault”. Rage hormones take priority. It is counterproductive to the thing he cares about most, but that is part of the “job” description at that age.

  40. Dennis Jimenez
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Grim Death….

    GT – In panel two, it looks like Grim Death is touching this young wag, for his sub-par tat snark – well deserved – speed on Grim Death….

    Pluggers – Grim Death suffers a Plugger liguidation deficit – much like Congress – with so many Pluggers out there, at a rate of one each two months, Grim Death will never catch up….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  41. Little Guy
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    JP: Calling it, because it’s the only reason for the parallel storylines — Honey ordered the hit on the guy.

    ASM: I’m not up to speed on my “Avengers” — is Sif a Guidette, or is that answered already because her name isn’t “Syph”?

    Pluggers: Pluggers have no connection to future generations.

    FW: In a very special Ghost Adventures, the crew visits Montini’s in Westview, and Zach taunts Lisa by asking if she’s a demon.

  42. Walker of Dog
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: Today’s theme: Lying.
    Tomorrow, the big revelation: Lu Ann gave Paul the clap.

    FW: “Kids, did I ever tell you how I met my cancer? Funny story…”

    MT: Narration box: “Ahem. Andy and Princess rush in… Cut! Would someone please go to her well-appointed crate and check on her?… Damned divas.”

    Phan: Falk: “Silence! Only I may break the fourth wall!
    And where the hell are my cheesy fries?!”

    Plug: The She-Plugger will outlive her husband by many years, and they both know it. Sometimes she just likes to rub it in.

    RMMD: Rex keeps his focus, even when presented with Niki’s backside. Fourteen years of aversion therapy medical school pay off.

  43. Marc
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#27): I can’t believe there is a such thing an an unironic Luann fan.

  44. Esther Blodgett
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Thank you, Lini Verde, for taking our minds off “Safety Dance” and putting them on this instead.

  45. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#10): Cal, I’m going to disagree. I’ve always heard “His ears stick out like the tailfins on a ’57 Chevy.” I wasn’t born in ’57 and neither were a lot of the people who said it. Or referencing a Ford model T as something that is outdated. Or an Edsel as something that is heavily advertised but is a piece of crap.

    I don’t know what an ’83 Chevy van is supposed to represent. Was that a top choice for van customizations-gone-wrong? I’m really confused about the whole GT conversation, though, not having followed the story line and parsed out its profundity.

    Lini’s abnormally long finger obviously represents the solitary horn of the unicorn to which he refers. Why it is up in his grill is his symbolic display that he is sexually attracted to other men. It is in that context, and in that context only, that the third panel makes any sense at all.

  46. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#43):

    It helps to have no sense of irony. This defect is usually present at birth, but it can be simulated via brainwashing by repeated playing of Alanis Morrisette’s titular anthem. “It’s like a bad thing happening when you would rather it not….”

  47. Marc
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Luann- Well, it’s called carpooling Luann. You all live in the same general area, and are all going to the same place at the same time, so instead of everyone taking a separate car why not all ride together? Oh, it makes too much sense you say and doesn’t humiliate Tiffany enough and doesn’t allow you and your “not a boyfriend” the gay aussie to exchange shitty double entendres the whole ride?

    Funky- Dead Lisa’s hairline is as badly receeding as Becky the one armed band director.

    Mary Worth- Excuse me while I borrow a line from Slapshot to describe Bree; “She’s fuckin terrible lookin”.

  48. Calico
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#44):
    Another blast from the past!

    Dude looks a bit like a young Phil Collins or Barrie Barlow, but with a Plugger’s “Big night out at the Moose Lodge” shirt. LOL

    A friend of mine posts a weekly musical “Forgotten Favorite” on FB, which is always fun to check out – usually 70′s through 90′s selections.

  49. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#45):

    ’57 Chevy is an iconic vehicle, however. Same as a 60s VW Bus (in a way, the 60s ended the day we sold it …. December 31st, 1969). My parents owned an early 80s Chevy van, and there is nothing iconic or memorable about it.

    “Lini’s abnormally long finger” – Wasn’t there a recent study correlating abnormally long fingers with homosexuality? Is this another not-so-subtle hint?

  50. Esther Blodgett
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    RMMD: All this strip needs to achieve perfection is a defenseless pet bear.

    FW: I’m obsessed with the idea that Lisa made hundreds of videotapes before she died, covering every possible situation in which she might wish to intervene, from “Summer, every month a woman’s body releases a single egg…” to “Well, [insert name here], now that you’re about to become Les’ second wife, I’d like to instruct you in his favorite sexual positions and generally creep you out.”

    MW: I just noticed that Mary is wearing a scarf that looks suspiciously like the ribbon in Emily Smith’s hair. This whole missing-sweater thing is a classic red herring. Or salmon herring. Or pink salmon. Chum. Wait, what?

  51. llustrator Steve
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    MT – Appearently Jack Elrod really gets off on all this VICIOUS stuff he’s been throwing at us lately.
    Sorry Jackelrod, it’s not working. Your attempt at shock and awe is a bust, and even with a pack of VILLAINOUS wolves attacking a pet bear your dated comic strip is still as boring as ever!
    And now, if you will please excuse me, I’m going to eat a batch of, “VILLAINOUS looking”, pancakes!

  52. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#49): “Lini’s abnormally long finger” wouldn’t be a good name for a rock band, but as a CC handle it totally works.

  53. Hibbleton
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MT: Alas, there wasn’t a piece of clip art showing two dogs fighting wolves.

    A3G:
    “You are a liar!”
    “I am lying.”
    “Execution of ./paul_bot.pl aborted due to compilation errors.”

  54. Lini's Abnormally Long Finger
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Huh? What? I was hanging out with Sentient Spambot and probing Les’s Abnormally Swollen Prostate when I received a call from Lisa’s Ghost telling me to check out this website.

  55. Northernlurker
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    JP: I’m guessing the hit was carried out by April. I’m further guessing her mysterious job is that of CIA assassin
    MT: Defenceless 800-pound bear with paws the size of frying pans able to crush heads and breaks backs even if the claws are covered with those leather thingies? Really?

  56. Scott Bot
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#45): @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#49): Actually, he got the concept right, but the year wrong. Back in the mid seventies, custom vans were huge, with full interiors – shag carpeting, 8 track stereos, mini fridges, all the fun stuff. Painting huge murals on the sides was par for the course, and a lot of them had some amazing but tacky artwork (kind of an automotive Elvis on black velvet idea). The 1983 reference threw me, because the fad had pretty much faded by then, mainly because it didn’t look quite as cool on a Chrysler mini-van.

  57. gleeb
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Rex, revisited: Do Rex ‘n’ Niki even know about her medical problems? If memory serves me right, all they know is that she’s not answering her phone.

  58. Sequitur\'s comment
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#52):It may work but it’s got that blasted apostrophe in it.

  59. Lini\\\'s Abnormally Long Finger
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    What’s wrong with apostrophes? My father suffered from them, but the doctor slashed them out.

    >cough! cough!< Wait, what's that?

  60. Sequitur\\\'s comment
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Lini\\\’s Abnormally Long Finger (#59): See! See! It’s catching!

  61. llustrator Steve
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    To set the record straight, the Ford Edsel was NOT a, “PIECE OF CRAP”.
    The Edsel was actually an advanced designed vehicle for that time and included many new features other Ford products did not use in production until years later. Due to this, the Edsel had a slightly higher sticker price than the lines of same sized Ford car models of that time.
    The slightly higher priced Edsel swayed the buying public into feeling they were getting just as good a car and spending less by purchasing other Ford models at the time, such as the Fairlaine, etc. This mind set made the Edsel become less and less marketable during it’s production years until Ford finally dropped the Edsel project all together.
    The Edsel itself was as good or better a car than the lesser expensive Ford models, just not as marketable.

    Tomorrow we will discuss the reliability of the Model A Ford over it’s predisesor, the Model T Ford.
    —Class dismissed!—

  62. Pseudo3D
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    A3G – Paul is a bad actor.

    BB – So why can Otto think and walk on two legs, but this mutt can’t?

    9CL – If it involves Edda being sacrificed to dark forces, I’m all for it.

    FW – I’d like to read Hi There’s take on this one. At least Son of Stuck Funky points out an error in retconning. Unless, of course, the whole “cancer” thing was an elaborate hoax.

    MW – I like Mary’s “spy position” in panel 2. Finger to the head, the whole “We have a situation!

    RMMD – How the HECK does Rex snatch the knife handle out of Spider’s hand? It would only work if Spider had loosened his grip, and even then, it would be difficult to do without cutting his palm open.

    S-M – Obviously, Loki being a super-villain, this is all a trick. But what if it there was a twist and Mary Jane was “Lady Sif” this whole time, leaving Spidey alone for good?

    …nah.

  63. lynn
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    http://joshreads.com/?p=12070#comment-1044025
    Calvin’s Cardboard Box: as an explanation of male sexuality, “only what is in front of him exists” is remarkably accurate. I’m guessing. (am not male.)

  64. Binder's Butter Beans
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Y’know, they really could have stopped at “Pluggers still use a Rolodex.”

  65. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @llustrator Steve (#61): Agreed. My uncle had an Edsel and said it was one of the best cars he ever had. Some also felt it didn’t sell because people thought the grill was ugly.

  66. Lini\\\\\\\'s Abnormally Long Finger
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    At least it/’s remained isolated in the header and hasn///’t metastasized.

    Uh oh.

  67. John C Fremont
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#56): Custom vans may have been out of fashion in the civilized world by 1983, but the streets of central Iowa were lousy with the damned things, complete with your choice of the tinted diamond shaped window on each side, or the teardrop shaped window on each side. And thanks to that effing Sammy Johns, most of them were Chevy vans. And that’s not all right with me, thank you.

  68. Dennis Jimenez
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#64): A schrewd Plugger has his IBM Mag Card, from last year’s Christmas letter, and only needs to add a “still not dead – 2011″ closing….

  69. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#64): Somewhere amoung my junk piles I have an old Rolodex. I ought to dig it out and start calling the numbers in it. It could be the Plugger game. You’re a Plugger if you still live at the same address in a 25 year old Rolodex.

    Or are you a Plugger if you start calling phone numbers in a 25 year old Rolodex?

    Hmmm.

  70. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#63):

    Some of us eventually outgrow that stage, but at 14 it is definitely true.

  71. Marked Trail
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    So, I take it the wolves are new to the valley otherwise Honey would not be all lectered up and would be able to defend herself.

    I bet those darn wolves found a goose with a gold band with an inscribed bible verse. I know when they found me out, I was inundated with villainous wolves.

  72. Scott Bot
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @llustrator Steve (#61): @Sequitur (#65): It also didn’t help that it came out in the middle of a recession. 1958 wasn’t the best year for the auto manufacturers, particularly in the middle priced field. In fact, the only cars that gained sales that year were the Thunderbird (which went from the two seat pseudo sports car to a more practical but still sporty four seat version) and the Rambler. There were other factors in the Edsel’s demise – there was a lot of prerelease hype, making people think they were getting The Car of the Future instead of an upscale Ford; production problems with the early models that soured many until they got them ironed out; very little support from the higher ups at Ford Motor Company (Robert McNamara in particular didn’t like the whole concept), and so forth.

    But since this is the Comics Curmudgeon and not Road and Track, I’ll shut up now.

  73. Ed Dravecky
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#y171): Lisa was the Hari Seldon of Westview, using psychohistory to predict the future and guide future generations to… wait! This means Les Moore is a positronic robot and Summer is a telepath who… Suddenly, whole strip makes sense! Well played, Batiuk. Well played.

  74. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    SlylockHow many things in this scene begin with the letter T?
    All of them! The tree, The rope, The frog, The person, The lion, That star…

    Beetle – Ah, Buxley has compassion fatigue, thanks to Beetle. That accounts for her usual weary, apathetic flat-affect expression. And all this time I thought it was the Botox.

    9 – Looks like we’re going to see the “no foreign objects” clause in Edda’s Ass Contract. Hand jive only, kids!

  75. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#73):

    Who is The Mule?

  76. Scott Bot
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#67): Oh, we had them all over Wisconsin in the early eighties when I was growing up, and when I was stationed in Michigan, too. And now that song is going through my head, thank you very much.

  77. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Here’s Crank’s version of the Christmas story. “And lo, there was no room at the outhouse!”

    Smirky – “I spent days making all these tapes for you, Darin. I made six tapes, because the doctor said you had four years to live, and I wanted to be on the safe side. And if you have any kids, Darin, you should probably make some tapes in about two years. To be on the safe side. Now it’s time for a special feature: excerpts from the tape my mom made for me. Take it away, Grandma!”

    Gil – Oh, mee-YOWW, Lini! Claw your way to the top, and in a year, you’ll be the official Tattoo Critic at Milford’s Only Newspaper.

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Cucaracha – Trivia: There’s a “Texas Embassy” on Trafalgar Square. (Even more trivial: I almost left the capitalization off of “cucaracha.” How appropriate is that?!)

    love is… …being pretty much unable to find a meaningful difference between the two of you without the aid of a powerful magnifying glass.

    MarkDog O’ Justice™ is on the job!

  79. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#y232): And the mystic prison where the God of Mischief is imprisoned between capers is the Loki Pokey. Okey dokey?

    @Oregonian (#2): Weirdly enough (if I may name-drop from Slylock Fox), I’d been having “Safety Dance” go through my head now and then for a couple of weeks prior to its use in Dick Tracy, along with “Fascination” by the Human League which I associate with it for some reason obscure even to myself.

    @Some Guy (#9): This would be an awesome plan … if it was Spidey he wanted dead. I don’t see how it’s going to help his feud against Thor, though.
    Loki will probably help things along by magically interfering with Spidey in a way that will make him harder to beat. He’ll probably knock out the cable.

  80. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    CdS: Win. all 12 Days worth at once. (ILTS)

    IP: wait, that’s a catGIRL,?!? *goes to clean contacts* the bishi film was obviously getting a bit thick on them.

    SBp: dozens of loldogs beg to differ.

    Bizarro: *groan* (Custer wore an Arrow shirt!)

    MT: o sure, give Andy ALL the screen time. (couldn’t find the Princess clip-art, obviously.)

    RMMD: /fail. o ever so much /fail.

    6Cx: keeps the fruity drink from getting diluted, doncha know?

    SFx: George, George, George of the Jungle. . . .

    Retail: +1 towards the PHB level.

  81. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Aside – Just saw an ad for Tim Horton’s. “Try our new Candy Cane White Hot Chocolate.” I’m imagining consumer lawsuits that will make the McDonald’s one look downright tepid. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH! IT BURNS!!! (The jury will decide that they were criminally negligent in leaving out the hyphen.)

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#49): Wasn’t there a recent study correlating abnormally long fingers with homosexuality?
    Dunno, but I remember a “Night Gallery” segment that turned on werewolves having an index finger longer than their middle finger.

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    *sigh*

    tag fail.

    my bad.

  83. gleeb
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#75): Well Funky’s a jackass…

  84. UncleJeff
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    9CL: And that’s how Edda’s perfect ass wound up in “Perfect Ass” magazine.
    Available at gooey-floored bookstores throughout the Tri-County Area.

  85. Esther Blodgett
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#64): My former boss was still relying on a Rolodex as late as 2007. I wouldn’t consider her a Plugger, but she was set in her ways and technophobic. I’ll be damned, she was a Plugger.

  86. TheDiva
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    GT: Never mind Lini’s hands, what’s up with the mitts on the tattoo-contemplating kid? Apparently recruiting the Asperger’s kid worked so well, Gil has moved on to reaching out to the elephantiasis sufferers.

    Pluggers make Tom Batiuk look like Pollyanna.

    A3G: Okay, if we’re going to talk about lying by omission, Mr. “Hey here’s our new house next to my parents and oh yeah the bishop is officiating so you need a modest dress and did I tell you about the nursery you will be expected to fill with my heirs as soon as physically possible?” REALLY shouldn’t be throwing stones.

    C’shaft: Going in a port-a-potty when you have your own home bathroom right at hand? Crankshaft even causes himself needless suffering.

    FW: That’s not Lisa, that’s Darin in a chemo wig!

    Luann: HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, LUANN. BY YOUR OWN CHOICE. Seriously, her possessiveness of this guy is starting to creep me out.

    MT: I never expected the phrase “defenseless pet bear” to ever be used anywhere in all seriousness, yet here we are.

    MW: “My sweater is all pitted out! SOMEONE in this diner has been wearing it!”

    SM: Sif is Thor’s girlfriend/wife, right? And now he’s going to be going after MJ? You have to give her points for fidelity–it’s not every woman who would get the attention of all these superheroes and villains and yet remain with Peter.

  87. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): The plot sickens thickens when Ralph Dibny’s stolen Gingold® formula accidently falls into the hands of… Lini “Stretch” Verde!

  88. Pseudo3D
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#49): Apparently so: http://www.unl.edu/rhames/courses/readings/homofinger/homo_finger.html

    There are some genetics behind homosexuality, but only genetic predispositions (like being predisposed for alcoholism doesn’t mean you will be an alcoholic). Regardless, given how Lini is a walking stereotype, him having long fingers is par for the course.

  89. Not Just Any Dipstick
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: I refuse to look back to see what color that sweater was, surely not white. Bree must have put in the wash with bleach. I just hope it went into the dryer on HOT.

  90. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#83):

    If my decades-old memory of the Foundation Trilogy is correct, The Mule went undercover as a gangly half-wit. The half-wit part doesn’t narrow the search down any, but ‘gangly’ counts out Funky, Comic Book Guy, Bull … pretty much everyone but … Crazy, the mailman!

    I’ll bet he also order the hit on BuBu over in Judge Parker.

  91. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#88):

    A-Ha!! I knew there was a connection, just couldn’t put my finger on it…..

  92. Uncle Lumpy
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean — If I were the Fairgoods, Dead Birth Mom’s Birthday Message would sit under about 80 Family Guy tapeovers by now.

  93. Not Just Any Dipstick
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Plugs: At least these two appear to be of the same species. Of course, as dogs, they have a very short life expectancy.

  94. Not Just Any Dipstick
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#91): Use caution where you put that finger. One never knows for sure where it’s been, unless you are a proctologist.

  95. Uncle Lumpy
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man — If this ends with Mary-Jane saying, “I’m tho thor I can’t even pith!”, all is forgiven.

  96. The Ridger
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#86): HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, LUANN. BY YOUR OWN CHOICE. Luann is a classic dog-in-the-manger. Or perhaps controlling bitch in the manger. She doesn’t want Quill (she says) but she wants him to remain always available for her should she change her mind. Thus, he can’t be Tiffany’s boyfriend, but he must be Luann’s potential boyfriend should she choose. He has no choice in the matter.

  97. Les\' Abnormally Swollen Prostate
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Not Just Any Dipstick (#94):

    I know exactly where that finger has been, and I only wish it had some connection to homosexuality!

  98. Anonymous
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Not Just Any Dipstick (#89):

    Mary Worth in a teeny tiny white sweater and nothing else, mmmmmmmmmmmm.

    A lover of cartoon MILFs fantasy cum true.

    And you thought that was Cool-whip on top those salmon squares.

  99. rembrandt36
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Funky – you know – it’s not the character of Lisa who is a fault here. It is the creator Asshat Batuik for NOT letting go of this fucking storyline and letting her rest in peace. Life moves on Batuik. People have been known to survive cancer. Move the fuck on and make your characters lovable again.

    Luann – Greg Evans shows the audience just how lame and unattractive the “hero” of a strip can be. And people wonder why I don’t mind the Brad/Toni stories?

    9 Chickweed Lane – I give credit to Brooke for not having a bad storyline the last few weeks. This from a viewer that generally hates his pompousness. Today is the start of throwing all that goodwill right down the toilet.

    AG3 – who the fuck cares???

  100. Bill Murray
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    GT: They made love in his Chevy van and that’s all right by him.

  101. But What Do I Know?
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    GT — Ooh, that’s a burn!

    A3G — Paul, Luann is *not* lying when she says she doesn’t understand–that’s one sure thing we can trust in.

    FW — And this is supposed to make Darin feel better?

    MW — We need to call the police! Any idea what their number is? It used to be BU-3245, but nowadays it could be anything!

    RMMD — I guess this Spider has been taking fighting lessons from his namesake, the Amusing Spiderman.

    The Ghost Who Fails to Be Avant Garde–It’s not clever meta anymore when the waiter answers you, it’s just stupid. . .

  102. bbofun
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    I rarely comment of PBGORN, as I don’t read it all that often. However, the “author’s commentary” has such a gem today it must be shared:
    “By this point in his experience, Geoff could be expected to know when he’s spiraling down a supernatural vortex of time, reality, and logic. However, you don’t get stories if characters behave logically.”

    Wow.

    Here’s the problem- yes, it’s true, since human beings don’t always behave logically, therefore characters don’t always have tom either. BUT- in long-form fiction, characters SHOULD be expected to learn. and, no, that doesn’t mean they re’s no story possible. A great example was the TV show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. After the first season (hell, within the first season) the main “non-magic’ characters were fully accepting of the reality of the existence of the supernatural in their lives. One of my favorite moments came when Buffy’s mom was dating a man (John Ritter!) who was very “Father Knows Best”-y. Buffy hates him, and decides he must be a demon. Everyone else, though supportive, thinks she’s over-reacting. Turns out he’s not a demon. He’s a robot. No one quite believers that, since it doesn’t fit into their worldview.

    Then, next season (I think) Buffy is replaced by a robot. Giles calls everyone in to inform them of his suspicions. They’ve all already figured it out- in part, because of the John Ritter situation.

    See, Brooke- characters CAN act logically and learn and STILL, there are stories to be had!

  103. Ned Ryerson
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#86): Right on, Crankshaft is nasty nasty nasty. A port-a-potty is the last resort, I don’t care who you are and what other hell you’ve been through in life. And let’s not kid ourselves, he’s in there dropping a deuce and taking his sweet, reading every line of every obituary time about it. Ick.

    Re: van art (and this is comics related), back in the early eighties, a wheelchair bound man used to drive around our town with a painting of Cutter John, the parapalegic Vietnam vet from Bloom County doing his Star Trek role playing routine. Van art couldn’t get any cooler.

  104. Red Greenback
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Where’s a revenge-seeking Keesterman when you need one?

  105. Chip Whittle
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I suppose this is the best way to show Crankshaft marking his territory, if we have to see that at all.

    Hi and Lois: Lois had no idea Trixie was a mermaid. Now she’s got the chance to neglect her infant in two biomes!

    Mark Trail: I’m guessing the idea here is the wolves will crack up laughing at being set upon by Andy and Princess, and let the doggies win.

    The Phantom: Zombie Lee Falk’s waiter, Alfred E. Neuman, can’t believe he came out in a lime green bowler.

    Spider-Man: Ah, Loki’s plan is going to fall apart when it touches Spidey, because nobody knows head injuries like Peter Parker knows head injuries.

  106. This Guy
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Agnes: “The Steering Linkage Novena” would be a good name for a rock band.

    BGSS: “Keep hoein’! This crop of ‘weeds’ has to be on the streets o’ Portland by Friday!”

    Big Nate: Up until today, I’d thought this “Bethany” strip was a lawyer-friendly version of Luann, but now I see someone’s becoming enthralled by it, which rules out that possibility.

    Lockhorns: Three months is no longer belated? Then it’s nine months early. Boo-ya!

  107. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Murray (#100): get some sleep and dream of rock and roll (What the hell happened with Ghostbusters 3, Bill?)

  108. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    the rarely observed Arctic hoverfox.

    SQWEETAH!

    a loldog for bb,u. (also a groaner pun)

    obvious pun is obvious, much like certain “other” things in the movie.

    PonyPuff Girls, now 20% cooler.

    for True Fable.

    salmon squares?

    corgsqui. (happy pup is happy!)

  109. dMac
    December 14th, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    ‘Shaft: Love the festive wreath on the door. Nothing says “Joy To The World” like the thought of Cranky taking a dump.

  110. This Guy
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#102): I understand so much more about the Nazi-fucking Grandma plot now that Brooke has openly proclaimed his belief that idiot plots are the only plots.

  111. Ned Ryerson
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: Karen Moy should take a page out of the Phantom’s book and have herself drawn in a booth at Diner, drinking a cup of Sanka and bringing us up to speed (because the plot is so complicated, you see).

    MT: Andy sez, “I don’t see no Princess, I just see me, taking on a whole pack of these villainous bitches! Get your story straight!” Cut to Elrod drooling into his pancakes, “But I didn’t have time to draw Princess in action, Andy…I cut and pasted you taking San Juan Hill!”

  112. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#98): Hey! Leave Gene Simmons alone!

  113. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#102):

    A great example was the TV show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.

    Actually, you can just stop right there. Buffy is a great example for just about anything.

    And there was also the geek who invented a robot girlfriend for himself. When he goes to admit this to Buffy there’s a huge dramatic buildup, “She’s not what you think! She’s…” “Yeah, yeah. I know.” says Buffy. “She’s a robot.” (Not an exact quote — but close enough.)

    Whedon’s characters always learn from the past (or fail to learn and kick themselves in the ass for it), and he can still write stories that surpass anything McE could ever hope to write in his wildest, most egocentric dreams.

    As a side note, one of my favourite lines from Firefly (which is pretty well filled with favourite lines) is when Mal is fighting the guy who’s been torturing him. Zoe and the crew bust in and when one of them goes to help, Zoe stops him, saying, “No. This is something the captain has to do for himself.” Mal’s voice (off camera): “No! No, it isn’t!”

    Sigh. One truncated season. Well, on the bright side, at least we have shows like Jersey Shore and Survivor and — oh please, just kill me now.

  114. Snuggs
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, we give Pluggers a lot of shit on this site, but you have to respect a strip that declares itself the last bastion of great Rolodex gags.

    Gil Thorp: I actually did find myself smiling at the put-down in panel two, and I discovered that unironically enjoying Gil Thorp is kind of like coughing and hiccuping at the same time: rare and unpleasant.

  115. TheDiva
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#96): If, let’s say, Gunther were to treat Luann with the attitude of “I don’t want to date you because you might leave me, but just in case I don’t want you to even think about dating anyone else or vice versa, ever,” the creepy wrongness of this behavior would be even more apparent. Of course, Gunther is pretty creepy and wrong to start with…I swear, every day the so-called “heroes” of this strip look more and more like a line-up of future serial killers.

  116. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#115):

    I swear, every day the so-called “heroes” of this strip look more and more like a line-up of future serial killers.

    Maybe they’ll kill each other off. The question will be, who is left standing?

  117. The Ridger
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: “Come again, Mr Falk?” It’s not “Come again, Mr Falk.” which would be an invitation to patronize the restaurant again. That’s a question. It means “What the hell did you just say, Mr Falk?” Even the waiter has no idea what the hell Zombie Falk means by “The Den of the Tigers”.

  118. gnome de blog
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#50):

    FW: I’m obsessed with the idea that Lisa made hundreds of videotapes before she died, covering every possible situation in which she might wish to intervene, from “Summer, every month a woman’s body releases a single egg…” to “Well, [insert name here], now that you’re about to become Les’ second wife, I’d like to instruct you in his favorite sexual positions and generally creep you out.”

    Dead Lisa is really Jor-el.

  119. gnome de blog
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    All hail Graham Nolan!

  120. Rixter
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    MW: “Bree… we have a situation! We have to call the police!
    “This is not my sweater, and I want some answers, young lady!”

  121. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#10): As someone who was born in 1985, I will corroborate Lini’s response. The ’80s box-van with terrible airbrush art is an eternal, unchanging truth. In fact, you can find them even today! (There is a tiny little auto-customization shop not far from where I live that gets such vehicles in regularily.)

  122. Government Cheese
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “OH yes how fun! And I can give you bjs in the back seat!”

    Mary Worth: (covers hand) “CALL THE POLICE WE HAVE A SITUATION, HE CAN’T HEAR ME, THE SOUND WAVES ARE BLOCKED BY MY HAND.”

  123. Chyron HR
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    FW – “I wish I could be there to hug you. But chemo is unpleasant, so I’m just going to give up and die instead.”

  124. Marc
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    PBS- I think that they’re talking to you Les Moore.

    A3G- Lu Ann not understanding what he’s talking about will really put Paul over the edge. A sinner AND a simpleton? This combination will not fly in the Linski cult.

  125. Baka Gaijin
    December 14th, 2011 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#20) on Dick Tracy: Is that…is that…from Ren and Stimpy? Well played.

    @Calico (#23): Oooh, spicy!

    @Dood (#31): Funeral-barbecue AKA Plugger cremation.

    @Anonymous (#98): AAAHHH!

  126. Rixter
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#47): Luann – This is such a great passive-agressive set-up for Luann. She can “forget” to pick her up and Tiff will miss her plane and her chance to sit next to the aus-hole. But, of course, Luann is too clueless or spineless to do it. As if there are ever consequences in DeGrootworld.

  127. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (y#223) said: “Phantom: It’s sad when Alfred E. Neuman subtly hints that you need to provide a better recap.”
    @Chip Whittle (#105) said: “The Phantom: Zombie Lee Falk’s waiter, Alfred E. Neuman, can’t believe he came out in a lime green bowler.”

    That guy is not actually me, but he is my distant Chinese cousin, Wa Mi Wiri.

  128. Kanzany
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Honey does not understand the wolves hostility towards her.

  129. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#112): @Anonymous (#98): Hey! Leave Gene Simmons alone!

    At least he/she’s branched out from only picking fights with L. Ron Hubbard:

    http://www.whyweprotest.net/anonymous-scientology/

  130. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers— The Pluggers have a Rolodex because when they bought it, they thought they were getting a really good price for an expensive Swiss wristwatch.

  131. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – God, I love this strip.

    Crankshaft – Okay, @Some Guy (#9) has already made the ultimate comment here. I’ll just provide a link so that we can all go appreciate it once more.

    DT – OKAY, WHO SLIPPED DRUGS INTO THE CATERER’S PUNCH?

    FW – I don’t understand what the halftone pattern on the TV screen is supposed to convey, but somehow it, combined with Lisa’s doped-up expression and weird head, made me think of Max Headroom. This immensely improved the strip.

    Garfield – Fun fact! In Celtic paganism, mistletoe was a symbol of fertility (whence, I would bet, the tradition derives!) Now look at today’s Garfield and try not to think about it! Bet you can’t!

    GT – Hey, not only is Lini back, so is…Micah, I think? Follower of an unspecified six-letter god who’s down with guys who wear swim goggles and strawboaters?

    Jumble – I like the dog. He just seriously can’t believe they came all that way for this.

    MT – Andy! He’ll save every one of us!

    MW – “We have to call the police! I’m being stalked by a poster!”

    Peanuts – Tom Batiuk, eat your heart out.

    RMMD – Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah MOR-GAN!

    SM – If this storyline could consist solely of Thor making goofy faces at Dutch angles while other people monologue, I’d like that.

  132. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: You know, I thought we weren’t being shown the tattoo because it was too racy for a family strip. Instead, we find out that it’s basically a nature scene. Who the hell gets a nature scene tattoo? And upon seeing a nature scene tattoo, who the hell would want one like it?

  133. bunivasal
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    A rolodex? Fancy elitist animal monsters! In my day we just scrawled the names of friends into the wall behind our letter-writin’ desks.

    Then when they died, we ceremonially burned the house down and reconstructed it.

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS and Mary 5,456 days! But perhaps our long national nightmare may be over.

    http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r221/Rhenum/MARYWORTHGOOGLE.jpg

  135. They call me MISTER Pib(gorn)
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Abbott and Costello?

    When did they become highbrow?

    Mr. McEldowney, I am disappointed in you. Surely there is some obscure German/French comedy team ( Adolph-n-deGaulle comes to mind) that could have refrenced.

    Don’t become pedestrian, Mr.cEldowney, we turn to you to get educated everyday.

  136. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft-That Portapotty is bigger than the addition to the house.

    Love Is-It’s not the size that counts. It’s how you use it.

  137. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    FW-I am dead because Les killed me and is using cancer as an excuse for me beind dead.

  138. TheDiva
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#102): A character doing the unwise thing because they don’t have all the right information, or because they are behaving in accordance with their established personality and motivations, is good development of both the character and the story. A character doing the unwise thing because if they did the smart, sensible thing the story would be over is pretty much the established definition of the Idiot Plot and is best avoided. That McEldowney doesn’t seem to appreciate the distinction between the two is yet another reason why I don’t rate his writing skills as highly as he thinks he deserves.

    @Sequitur (#116): Nobody, if we’re lucky. I’d be happy with a Hamlet-style ending, with all the main characters dying off one by one in painful ways followed some random supporting player (I vote for Ann Eiffel) coming in to give the wrap-up.

  139. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#131): I dunno. Some Guy’s comment could still use a little Ed McMahon (or Jack Nicholson): “Here’s Johnny… Smith!”

  140. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    GT: I’m curious. How many high school age boys have flattops like our dopey mope there? I don’t think I’ve seen one on someone under 50 in over a decade. Is it just where I’m living?

  141. Chip Whittle
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: OK, now I’m confused. Are we supposed to believe borderline-scam-artist Chubby really is innocent, or that Ma Felony is, or that the characters are lying to each other when only the reader could be mislead by them? I think Jim Scancarelli has hit enough plot twists that he doesn’t know what the twist is anymore.

    Inspector Danger: What the heck? You figure out who did it by taking DNA from the envelope seal? What twisted world of inverse-logic is that? Slylock Fox would never stand for a nonsense answer like that!

    Moderately Confused: Ho ho! Something has been made in several formats, and here at a store, you may buy it in any of those formats! Isn’t that the funniest?

    Spot the Frog: “If it snows before Christmas, I need to build a hot air balloon to escape from the Headless Snowman.” Hey, you and me both, Spot.

  142. A Smirch Unheeded
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): Some also felt it didn’t sell because people thought the grill was ugly.
    … and it had a silly name? Not that most cars don’t have silly names, but they are at least evocative in some way.

  143. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @They call me MISTER Pib(gorn) (#135): @TheDiva (#138): Okay, fine. So we’re going to compare your work with that of Abbott and Costello — specifically “Who’s on First”? Then let’s look at it. There was nothing illogical in the confusion. The names, while unusual, are naturally confusing. Furthermore, Costello tries several different ways to clear up the situation:

    Costello:  When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
    Abbott:  Every dollar of it.

    Costello:  Look, all I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name to the contract?
    Abbott:  Who.

    And so on. Part of the humour comes in the (somewhat) believable way the confusion continues, despite efforts to clear it up.

  144. Fashion Police
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Lee Falk’s use of teal as an accent color clearly identifies him as a poseur. Even an ingenue like Master Verde would outgrow it by the time he is twenty. Furthermore, wearing an ascot without a Victorian collar starched to the consistency of tempered steel is just slovenly!

  145. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#142): The vehicle was named after Edsel Ford who was the son of Henry Ford and a former president of Ford Motor Company. In business circles, doing something that sounds good at the time but turns out to be not so good can be known as “pulling an Edsel.” [insert joke here]

  146. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    GT: Lini is actually remembering the time when he himself got an unfortunate facial tattoo, but managed to erase it by touching his face with his magic ET hand.

    Bliss: Okay, this is where I got my dose of ick factor for the day. If your kid asks you out of the blue why you don’t keep mom naked, don’t be surprised when the school psychologist calls you up with some interesting questions.

    DT: “Hey boss, you know I don’t like to question the guy paying me. Still and all, you’ve got us dressed up as carnie barkers from the 1900s, and you’re back there singing KC and the Sunshine Band. What’s our outfit’s theme, anyway?”

    RMMD: Spider got himself disarmed by a middle-aged hothouse flower GP. If there’s a Teenaged Hoodlum’s Guild, look for him to lose his membership.

    SFx: Hey Fat Tarzan, I hope you enjoyed swinging out of nowhere and punching that lion, because you won’t get another chance. To do anything. But yes, like a pizza and unlike a bassoonist, you’ll soon be feeding a family of four.

    JP: “She left Chibale’s apartment after shooting him. We had a couple of guys tailing her, but it was night time and they got lost.” Thank you, Lt Yelich. Maybe we can get a more competent lawman on the case, like say Clancy Wiggum.

    HtH: The equal opportunity laws forced Hagar to put a goblin on his crew.

    Momma: Hey, I haven’t heard that joke since every Dustin ever.

    BC: It’s more like you’ve discovered war, which to be fair has been called politics by other means. Your next project should be to discover joke setups.

    C-Shaft: Oh, he’ll certainly leave you alone now, Crankshaft, since I’m pretty certain your pants were still down when you opened the door.

  147. Peanut Gallery
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#24), @Esther Blodgett (#50):
    Instead of recording different messages for every eventuality, nowadays we can just collect a quick 3-D facial-features scan and voiceprint, then generate videos later with CGI and voice synthesis. I’m pretty sure Google has a feature that’ll write the scripts for your posthumous performances, based on keywords it lifts from the emails of your survivors. On birthdays, anniversaries, etc. it’ll automatically deliver the videos to the Google accounts of whoever you friended in life, even if the recipients themselves have also passed on. In the future we will need to continue rapidly expanding the bandwidth of the Internet in order to accommodate all the dead people sending videos back and forth to each other.

  148. CanuckDownSouth
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    Evans should just give up on having high school-aged characters. Luann doesn’t have her own car. Why doesn’t she have to check with her parents about whether she can use the car to give a friend a lift? Why isn’t Quill’s (host?) family already dropping him off at the airport? Why aren’t these teens wandering around texting on their cell phones and finding out each others’ holiday plans via Facebook??

  149. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#124):

    Lu Ann not understanding what he’s talking about will really put Paul over the edge.

    If non-comprehension from Lu Ann is enough to put him over the edge, it’s a good thing they’re splitting up now. That marriage would have been all kinds of painful.

  150. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#116):

    Maybe they’ll kill each other off. The question will be, who is left standing?

    I came in late, but I assume you’re talking about the parents in Sally Forth.

  151. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#150): Oh, Sally’s mom. No question about it.

  152. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    JP-I am pointing at my face to indicate that I am being snarky.

  153. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#34): Oh, that one’s actually rather fun. It’s been stretched out for weeks and weeks, but it basically boils down to this.

    When Chatu was captured and imprisoned, there was a power vacuum among the criminal underworld, which has been filled by a mysterious guy named “The Nomad.” (I don’t remember his actual identity, which I suppose will be important eventually but isn’t for the moment.) The Nomad has decided to take out the Phantom, but doesn’t want to tackle him directly himself (not least because he doesn’t want to reveal his identity to other criminals).

    So he’s assembled a team of commandos to do the job. Because the Nomad knows the Phantom is much beloved in his home country of Bengala, he’s had to recruit soldiers who don’t know who the Phantom is (most of them are under the impression that he’s some sort of master criminal, thanks to the Nomad). Walker somehow got wind of this (I don’t remember how) and has decided to infiltrate the Nomad’s organization in order to learn who the Nomad is.

    So now you have this commando team running around Bengala hunting the Phantom, in which one member is Walker (pretending to be a local) and another is the Nomad (incognito). I’m not quite sure how Chatu got brought into the plotline most recently, because the Nomad doesn’t have a good incentive to free him at this point, but maybe he thinks that Chatu will be able to help him take out the Phantom or something.

  154. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#150): Actually, we were talking about the characters in Luann but I like your take on it better.

  155. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#148):

    I think we had a plot line where Luann was going to pay for her car with the money she makes volunteering at the library. See, the story lines are realistic, after all!

  156. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#154): I scrolled up and saw a little more of your Luann discussion, and yeah, the shoe fits there, too.

  157. gleeb
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

  158. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @llustrator Steve (#61): I didn’t mean to say that the Edsel was a piece of crap. I meant to say that the Edsel represents a project that probably should not be undertaken. Like New Coke, which taste tested better than the regular Coke, but didn’t sell. Calling someone a dinosaur means that they are of a bygone era and not advanced enough for these modern times. Yet, in their day, dinosaurs were generally quite advanced life forms. And Abner Doubleday didn’t invent baseball.

  159. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#153): Look, if you don’t know what’s going on in The Phantom either, it’s okay just to say so.

  160. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#158):

    And while dinosaurs may be extinct, some of the dinosaur species evolved into birds, many species of which are still thriving today. And all the ancestors of modern humans who were around 65 million years ago are also extinct, so it isn’t as if humans survived while dinosaurs didn’t. Evolution is not a linear progression from ‘primitive’ to ‘advanced’ forms. And I hate to think that Pluggers represent the pinnacle of evolutionary advance in any case.

  161. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Thor is going to totally believe Loki, the God of Deceipt over MJ, Spidey and the half-dozen or so people who saw MJ’s play and could testify that she is clearly no Goddess of the stage.

  162. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#160): Per today’s comic, Pluggers are a dying breed. Slowly, slowly their numbers dwindle. Each year at the annual pose-for-the-”Pluggers-Go-To-Bed-Early-On-New-Year’s-Eve”-joke meeting, there are fewer and fewer attendees. Soon there will be none, and cool people will be free to roam the Earth unrestrained!

    But until that time. I’ll be right here… biding my time… making their lives a LIVING HELL.

  163. S. Stout
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rixter (#126):

    Knowing Tiffany, she’ll already be at Quill’s house when Luann goes to pick him up. She already called the airline and requested to sit next to Quill, so why not just go full stalker? Quill’s non-reaction to all of this is because he’s still considering sex with Tiffany at some point.

  164. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    RWO: Damn! I said that Six Chix was funny. I meant Rhymes With Orange.

  165. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#162):

    Pluggers are rapidly going extinct due to inter-species cross-breeding. You can’t breed a dog-man with a chicken-lady and get fertile offspring. You get a kangaroo-boy who is born sterile, like a mule. This also explains the lack of rolodex connection to following generations – pluggers only become grandparents via adoption, or if they are among the rare pluggers who mate within their species.

  166. Hi There
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    FW:
    Summer watched Darin closely as their dead mother warbled tunelessly.

    Any second, she thought. Any second now and Boom!

    “Happy birthday, dear Darin, happy birthday to you!”

    Darin stared at the screen, a sick smile plastered to his face. He refused to look away while a woman with an outdated hair style recited stale platitudes.

    Midway through another justification for her poor behavior, the woman’s image was overwhelmed by static and random colors. The tape must be coming to an end, Darin hoped. Or it could be the sign of a rough cut –

    Suddenly, the woman disappeared altogether and a new scene began unfolding before the camera.

    Les’ goatee filled the screen. There was a brief disturbance as Les fiddled around with the camera settings. Some jiggling about and then a stable image of Les backing away from the camera. He was totally naked.

    “Hey, Lisa,” said Les. “Too bad about the hospital mix-up. Thought I’d give you something to think about during chemotherapy.”

    Les turned around and bent over.

    Darin couldn’t help gagging at the sight.

  167. hogenmogen
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#102): Sure, Buffy and her friends learn, but what about the Scooby Doo people? Every damn episode they get scared so bad they pee in their pants a little, despite having foiled fake ghost plots about a hundred times before and found exactly zero real ghosts. You’d think they’d hear “OoooOOooOOOHHHH!” and start looking for the hidden speakers. You’d think they’d be looking for wires with swinging bedsheets. No, they hightail it and run. Inevitably, in their efforts to get as far from the ghost as possible Scooby and Shaggy trip directly into all that stuff and he would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for those MEDDLING KIDS.

  168. Northernlurker
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m going to get a little serious here.
    I married a widow with two teenaged sons. Their deceased was forever frozen in their memories as a hero.
    In the 18 or so years since I came into their lives my relationship with them has become good. And their children fully treat me as a grampa.
    But, I will never be called Dad and they will still get emotional on Father’s Day and such like. I’m alright with that–it is simply reality.
    If my wife, however, never let me forget about Dead Darren (not his real name) I think it would drive me crazy.
    If Batiuk thinks creepy Les’s obsession with Dead Lisa is somehow normal, or healthy he has no concept of reality–none at all.
    So run Cayla run, Creepy Les is creepy.

  169. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#158): Anyone for a game of “Rounders?”

  170. Roy
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#45):

    In ’83 Chevy introduced stacked headlights and it made the van look far more awesome, in the cheesy ’80s sense. Also BA Baracus drove the seminal ’83 Chevy on The A-Team. Any Project Runway watching jock would know that the 1983 ChevyVan with a mural on, preferably in purple or black with a unixorn and rainbow on it, it is a masterpiece of big hair rock kitsch.

  171. gnome de blog
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#153):
    The Nomad’s name is Eric Sahara.

  172. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#164): There’s no shame in liking today’s Six Chix — or Rina Piccolo. She’s one of the funnier “chix”.

  173. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Coming to CBS. A new reality series where in random bathrooms and portapotties across the USA people walk in the loo door only to have Crankshaft pop out. It’s called Crappin’ Asshat.

    Or would that be too much like Candid Camera?

  174. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#172): No, the Six Chix one today was amusing (not to mention offering up an explanation for those tiny little umbrellas in drinks which I always thought served no purpose). It’s just that I meant the shout-out for Rhymes, which struck me as being a particularly good visual and bit of word play.

  175. seismic-2
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): Some also felt it didn’t sell because people thought the grill was ugly.

    Being a Plugger, I remember that the popular joke at the time was that “An Edsel is an Oldsmobile sucking a lemon.”

    A3G: “I’m angry because the woman I planned to spend my life with lied to me!! Now I won’t have a widow to throw herself on my funeral pyre at the Linski compound, like Aunt Helen did at Uncle Jim’s memorial service. That reminds me, I need to remove their names from my Rolodex.”

    FW: “Now Darin – and anyone else who may be watching this video – I need to show you something very, very important. The proper way to cut a sandwich is…”

    MW: “Bree… we have a situation! We have to call the police!

    Bree panics, because she thinks Mary is accusing her of attempting to steal the sweater. She knows she didn’t, but she also knows that if the police investigate, they will find out that she is wanted in Oregon for passing bad checks, in Idaho for being the get-away driver in a string of hold-ups, in Arizona for attempted homicide, and in Nevada for “having a haircut that is a crime against humanity.” Bree reaches under the counter, grabs a cast-iron skillet, bashes Mary’s skull as flat as a stack of Mark Trail’s pancakes, and makes a dash for it.

  176. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#175):

    Bree reaches under the counter, grabs a cast-iron skillet, bashes Mary’s skull…

    I feel sorry for the skillet.

    BTW, good line on the Edsel.

  177. Baka Gaijin
    December 14th, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#167): Sure, when you put it that way. But did you ever think that if they did learn, the entire Scooby Doo series run would have been about 4 shows?

    @Sequitur (#173): That would be more like some kind of crappy movie. Ha ha, I made a punny!

    @seismic-2 (#175) on Mary Worth: If only that were the remainder of this storyline. I’d love to see that grease-encrusted frying pan bounce of Mary’s helmet hair with an hilarious “Klonnnnng!”

  178. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

  179. Droopy Says
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#90): In Asimov’s Foundation stories, the Mule went undercover as Magnifico Giganticus. So if you want to identify the Mule-avatar in FW, you have to look for someone with the most inapproriate and degrading name around. Possibilities abound.

  180. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

  181. Dennis Jimenez
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Roy (#170): And if that van be a rockin’ – don’t come a knockin’…. If so, I pity the fool….

  182. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#65): @seismic-2 (#175): Whenever I see any car built before the late ’80s, all I can think is, “Wow! What a great field of vision they had.”

    I recently started driving again after a hiatus of 30 years, and the first thing I noticed was that it’s almost impossible to see anything out the windshield. They’re low, the posts are huge and slant out at exactly the right angle to block the view of anything while you’re turning, and the rear-view mirrors, while not planted in the very middle of the window are at least low enough down that they block off most of what’s in front of you. The car I’m driving is a 2001 Grand Am, and I thought it was ridiculous, but when I drive my father-in-law’s 2010 Buick, I can’t even see the traffic lights when I’m stopped at an intersection unless I lower my head and peer out like some kind of Plugger.

    And I’m not even going to start on how hard it is to see anything behind you.

    I’d give a lot to drive an Edsel. Or anything else that actually afforded a view of where you were going.

  183. Pseudo3D
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Hi There (#166): …I didn’t expect that one, and I regret I wished to see it.

  184. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#182): I agree with the field of vision on today’s cars. That’s why I drive a van (with no picture on the side).

    …lower my head and peer out like some kind of Plugger.

    I swear I didn’t see the “r” in the word “peer” the first time I read it. Sorry.

  185. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#182): I am but a casual observer of automotive design, but it seems that, essentially, every single God-damn sedan made in the past ten to twelve years was designed by someone who thinks they’re designing for douchebags who think that putting stickers on a car equals “customization,” makes it go faster, and makes it a “street racer.” I’m sure there’s some movie that’s to blame for this.

    Me, I drive a mid-90s Buick. It’s comfortable, runs reliably, gets good mileage, and I can actually see stuff without having to hunch down and peer through the steering wheel.

  186. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#185): And what’s with the spoiler on Honda Civics?

  187. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    @Roy (#170): Was that the same kind of van that Dead Lisa got knocked up with Darin in?

  188. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#185): You know that a V-TEC sticker on a Honda automatically makes it go faster, right?

  189. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#186): If you look really close, they are ALWAYS turned upside-down (i.e. less traction)

  190. Austria
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    FW: And remember, everyone, the reason for the strip is Dead Lisa. All glory to the Dead Lisa!

    Luann: Is this what counts as “fashionable” in the Luanniverse? That green…whatever-it-is looks like it’d be more suited to an ’80s businesswoman.

    RMMD: WOOOO! TEENAGE BOY FIGHT! TEENAGE BOY FIGHT FOR KELLY’S LOOOOOOOOOVE!!! Ha ha! Yeah….hm. They’re going to cut away right after this, aren’t they?

  191. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#185): The ultimate rice racer — http://www.afrotechmods.com/submitted/honda/honda.htm (not quite safe for work)

  192. skippykawakami
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait for the incredible revelation in Gil Thorp’s exciting plotline: We learn that “Cortez”, the fictitious identity of the undercover detective investigating Milford’s Tattoo ring, is in fact none other than Grace Jones.

  193. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#187): Depends. Did it have a crappily-modified comic-book cover airbrushed on the side?

  194. Uncle Lumpy
    December 14th, 2011 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#186):

    And what’s with the spoiler on Honda Civics?

    Those are Asian Gang Hondas — also look for Mellophone Exhaust Tips, hand-painted Reddddd! brake calipers behind 18″ SpinZit® rims, and neon underlights. Apparently all the Shokxxxx! subwoofers blew themselves up in the early ’00′s.

  195. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-Helen died first and Jim died two months later when he died of starvation.

  196. Uncle Lumpy
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#190):

    Yeah….hm. They’re going to cut away right after this, aren’t they?

    To a scene of wind blowing through the curtains and the soft murmur of Rex’s breath on the pillow.

  197. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-To make the tattoo look like the side of van it needs a naked woman with a snake wrapped around her unless of course that is what the tattoo is already.

  198. Liam
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    FW-But I had put you up for adoptition with the hope of never having to see you again.

  199. Droopy Says
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#165): The inter-species marriages have another impact on Plugger mortality rates: diet. This can take several forms. Normally the carnivore-spouse attacks the herbivore spouse, eats her and then–because there is no one around to do the Heimlich maneuver–chokes to death on her bones. Marriages between competing species of herbivores are less dramatic in their lethality, but when it comes down to a grass versus grain diet, or leaves versus roots, usually one spouse crowds out the other out of the ecosystem, resulting in a slow death from starvation. Of course, when one spouse is an egg-layer death genarlly comes by spatula or skillet after the husband asks the wife to cook more of her own eggs. Pluggers do not believe in any form of birth control.

  200. Cloudbuster
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#113): “Sigh. One truncated season. Well, on the bright side, at least we have shows like Jersey Shore and Survivor and — oh please, just kill me now.”

    *Sob*

    Firefly wasn’t just good TV, it was sublime.

  201. Jamus The Bartender
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: “…on a dark, flat land she ride….on a pony she named Wildfiiiree…..” I love that song.

  202. odinthor
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#185): And that a gas tank with the capacity of a thimble is the ultimate desideratum. Laz’n’gemmun, I gotta tell ya, the gas tank on my car is so small [audience: "How small is it?"] that I gotta fill the tank a second time just to make it outta the gas station!

  203. Sequitur
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#202): I don’t see Alfred E. Neuman lerking around here right now so I’ll give you this.

  204. wossname
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @A Smirch Unheeded (#142):

    Some also felt it didn’t sell because people thought the grill was ugly.
    … and it had a silly name? Not that most cars don’t have silly names, but they are at least evocative in some way.

    Ya think? What is Tuareg evocative of? (I’ve always admired Volkswagen’s ability to come up with model names that sound awful in English.) What does Camry evoke? Sentra? Focus? CRZ? I’d say at least half of model names are just gibberish.

    @Fashion Police (#144): Glad to hear your take on Lee Falk’s accoutrements. What do you think of the bolo/ascot combination?

  205. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#179):

    “So if you want to identify the Mule-avatar in FW, you have to look for someone with the most inapproriate and degrading name around. Possibilities abound.”

    There may be other possibilities, but when you put it that way, the giant flashing neon arrow points directly to the titular Funky Winkerbean.

  206. odinthor
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#203): Thank you! Thank you, everyone! Show business is my life!

  207. wossname
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    OK, I have a completely OT question, because when I try to think of a place where there is an incredible range of knowledge, this is my first choice. (Maybe my only choice.)

    My mother watched a DVD today of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and told me she was embarrassed that she didn’t get the title. What was the point of “Virginia Woolf”? I told her not to be embarrassed because I’ve never gotten it either. I mean, yes, we both get that it sounds like “who’s afraid of the big bad wolf” but is there any more to it than that? She said Virginia Woolf couldn’t have children (which I didn’t know) but that she didn’t think VW was traumatized by it.

    OK, intellectual curmudgeons, amaze me!

  208. Droopy Says
    December 14th, 2011 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#34): No, Mary Worth is perfectly miming a phone call. She’s holding the receiver to her ear with one hand while turning the crank with the other. Don’t ask me how she’s going to mime saying “Hello, Central!” because I’m too bemused by the way she says “We have a situation.” Her mixture of 1880s tech and 1980s slang is a bit much, even if she does date from the 1780s.

  209. odinthor
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204): You mean that there are people who don’t think of the Convention of Cintra whenever they see a Sentra???

  210. Not So Great Old One
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#207): I was in there having a beer one night, and I saw “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” scrawled in soap, I suppose, on this mirror. When I started to write the play it cropped up in my mind again. And of course, who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf means who’s afraid of the big bad wolf . . . who’s afraid of living life without false illusions. And it did strike me as being a rather typical, university intellectual joke.

    — Edward Albee

  211. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#162): But until that time. I’ll be right here… biding my time… making their lives a LIVING HELL.
    Huh. Where’d hogenmogen go? It’s just like he vanished under the stage or seats or something.

  212. Roy
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#207):

    Re. Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf

    You pretty much got it. It is about the stultified private life of the University intelectual. The title is a stupid intellectual style academic joke, I think Albee heard someone make it, and thought “how perfectly stupid”. I think the big bad wolf song was used in the original play as well instead of the mullberry bush one in the film, no idea why they changed it.

  213. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @skippykawakami (#192): and had been previously undercover as a fireman named “Sanchez”!

  214. odinthor
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @Roy (#212): I seem to recall that the reason they didn’t use the “Big Bad Wolf” song was because the Disney Corp., which owned it, wouldn’t let them.

  215. Uncle Lumpy
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#214):

    Disney is famously litigious, lampooned, as ever, by The Simpsons:

    “Ho hai, ho hai — it’s off to work go I,
    If Disney sues we’ll claim Fair Use — ho hai, ho hai!”

  216. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204): Ah, not quite gibberish – they are that special, loathsome breed of word constructed in a boardroom by committees of synergistic marketing actualizers, the syllables carefully chosen to sound important while conveying precisely nothing of import. This is common in the big-business world, where arrangements of words that convey meaning (known to the proletariat as “sentences”) are held in contempt, and no executive worth his $28 latte would so much as think about using a name that came closer than two degrees of separation to anything found in the dictionary.

  217. zerowolf
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#Y221): Thanks for the recap. That makes sense, I think*

    *not said in the Bandar tongue.

  218. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @They call me MISTER Pib(gorn) (#135): The sad part is that Brooke no doubt believes he’s slumming by comparing his art to Abbot and Costello.

  219. seismic-2
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#216): But it doesn’t always work. Chevrolet executives were puzzled about why the Chevy Nova was selling poorly in the Hispanic community. Eventually, someone told them that in corrupted Spanglish, No va means “Won’t go”.

  220. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

  221. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#157): @gnome de blog (#171): Ah, I am among my people…

  222. AhClem
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#216): Scott Adams nailed is perfectly with this classic Dilbert cartoon.

  223. commodorejohn
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#222): Nailed it, indeed. I’m going to have to save that one.

  224. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#219): urban legend, actually.

  225. AhClem
    December 14th, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204): I used to own a VW Golf — innocuous name, but an expensive nightmare to keep running. I’m now driving a Toyota Matrix which, besides being the most reliable car I’ve ever owned, has a name perfectly suited to a math and science geek like me. Linear Algebra Roolz!

  226. Hot Irk, End Gig
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Luann, you are today’s lowlight.

  227. anon
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – actually this one is just plain SAD. The Pluggers’ friends ARE dying off, and NO, they can’t really just “go out and make new friends”. Unless they belong to some Plugger church and work at the bingo night. Because when you are middle aged or older, no one is interested in you. Young people don’t even SEE you. People your own age have their own problems (sick/sick spouse/sick parents, or have dramas and whatnot with their kids). They might commiserate with you briefly in the doctor’s waiting room or chat while you’re cleaning up after the church social, but sure as hell aren’t going to haul ass over to your house for a swell dinner party or even a backyard BBQ. Because, frankly, you aren’t that interesting. Neighbors and relatives die, retire and move down South, your kids have moved out and you’re lucky if they call you once a month. It sucks being a Plugger. I know.

  228. Baka Gaijin
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204): A Toureg is a member of an African nomadic tribe.*

    *said in the Bandar tongue

    @commodorejohn (#216): Another consideration in car names is that cars are often sold throughout the world. If you choose a made-up name, you probably won’t be offending anyone or making them laugh inadvertently (Buick Lacrosse anyone?). That and the whole trademark thing. Made up words can be trademarked easily, actual words, not so much.

    @seismic-2 (#219): Further information on queek’s comment (#224).

  229. Sgt. Stoned
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wouldn’t it be great if the blond girl at the diner is not Emily Smith? And Mary calls the cops on the wrong guy and we see the girl in tears screaming at the cops “stop beating my daddy!” as senile Mary tries to persuade her that she is, in fact, a kidnap victim. But I guess that’s too much to ask,

  230. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#108): Snork. That dog is probably much nicer than the actual Thoreau, who was, apparently, a bit of a dick.

  231. Baka Gaijin
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#229): I hope you’re not trying to tell me Mary is the Lindbergh Baby. I’m not sure she’s old enough.

  232. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#214): Yes, I’m not sure if it was a matter of not being able to afford usage of the melody (you can tell Mike Nichols was working on a fairly tight budget) or whether Disney vetoed it because of WAOVW’s content, but it does boil down to not having legal rights to the song.

    Great movie, though. Liz Taylor is absolutely mindblowing in it.

  233. Daria Foxendorffer
    December 14th, 2011 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Funky–”Oh, and Darin, about your AGS-19 payments, I think I straightened it out. I talked to the accounting office yesterday and they said you should be receiving your higher rates of pay by next month.”

  234. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#202): @Sequitur (#203): My name is Alfred E. Neuman, and I have approved this rimshot.

    @seismic-2 (#219) said: “@commodorejohn (#216): But it doesn’t always work. Chevrolet executives were puzzled about why the Chevy Nova was selling poorly in the Hispanic community. Eventually, someone told them that in corrupted Spanglish, No va means ‘Won’t go’.”

    Actually, “No va” is grammatically correct Spanish. The subject, (“el” for “it”), is often not expressed, thus “No va” means “It doesn’t go”.

  235. Rixter
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#208): I’ve noticed Mary touching her face a lot. Maybe her face is going numb. Or she’s having a lot of dental work done. Or Botox.

  236. This Guy
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#219): I remember reading a (German) article about this phenomenon, noting that the Ford Pinto didn’t sell well in Brazil (there “pinto” supposedly means “small penis,”) and the Big Mac got funny looks in France (apparently the translated “Gros mec” means “big pimp.”)

  237. Mr. O'Malley
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204): Volkswagen went with upper-class games for a while: Golf, Polo. I guess it’s lucky they never got around to lacrosse.

    I can see Tuareg because they live in the Sahara desert. Similarly Denali conjures up thoughts of a rugged environment. But Tacoma? “A vehicle that can handle anything that Lakewood Mall can dish out!”?

  238. Old School Allie Cat
    December 14th, 2011 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann – So Quill’s parents are sending him to his Uncle’s for Christmas and can’t even be bothered to get him to the airport? Christ, what assholes!

    MW – I wonder if Mary bought her fave sweater from Marcy’s or Enormoushop.com?

    Gthorp – Of course, Lini was born in, what 1993? So, yeah. He’s all over the van decor trends of the early 80s.

    I need to get in here more often, my snark has lost its patina.

  239. Tigerama
    December 15th, 2011 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    WOLVES!!!

  240. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2011 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#219): If you can rely on snopes.com, the Chevy Nova had no trouble with its name in Latin America and sold reasonably well there:

    http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp

    In Spanish, “Nova” means the same thing it means in English: an exploding star.

  241. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2011 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#219): According to snopes.com, the Chevy Nova had no trouble with its name in Latin America and sold reasonably well there:

    http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.asp

    In Spanish, “Nova” means the same thing it means in English: an exploding star.

  242. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 15th, 2011 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#240): I wonder what Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, etc. thought of the Studebaker Dictator?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studebaker_Dictator

  243. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 15th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#200):

    Firefly wasn’t just good TV, it was sublime.

    This is absolutely true. Every scene, every line was so much better than it had to be. There was no waste, no filler. Even the science was as close to 100% as you could ask. (I loved that they had to put a space suit on Bertha to supply the oxygen necessary to fire.) Everything mattered, everything was important — and not in some “oh, look how clever and twisted we’re being with our plots and you’d better keep track of every little detail” shit like Lost or something. It was just naturally important.

    Someday, people from the future will dig up the bones of the Fox execs who cancelled the show and piss on them.

  244. Droopy Says
    December 15th, 2011 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Of course Thor can’t visit Earth. He has to let Loki make an even bigger fool of him first, so Peter Parker’s eventual triumph won’t sem too contrived.

    Hagar the Horrible: Moral: Never cast aspersions on your mother-in-law’s boyfriend.

    Crankshat: Of course Cranky’s upset. He’s the intersection of those two lists.

    Pluggers: Like a Plugger would do anything but turn to the right.

    Phantom: It’s too bad that the Plot Leprechaun decided to Falk off, because someobody needs to explain how kidnapping works to the Chinese drug lords.

    Bizarro: shows a deeper understanding of life in the great outdoors than you’ll find in a month of Sunday Mark Trails.

  245. ElkMeadow
    December 15th, 2011 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    I thought that the Pluggers were discussing their Christmas cards being sent back to them. People write to Dear Abby all the time, ticked that they wasted a card and a stamp on someone who nobody told them had died.

  246. ElkMeadow
    December 15th, 2011 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Too bad Mary is so against Kindles and the like. If she had a smart phone, heck, if she had a cell phone even, or a TracFone, she could do 911 instead of trying to talk Bree into making the call. Bree’s got other things on her mind, like getting back to work so she doesn’t get fired.

  247. Cal
    December 15th, 2011 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    MT: AWESOME!!! Andy is a M-F***ing BADASS!!!

    (Kids, don’t try this at home!)

  248. Cal
    December 15th, 2011 at 4:18 am [Reply]

    A3G — 3 words for you, Paul: You. Never. Asked.

  249. Little A.
    December 15th, 2011 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    FW: Fred and Anal?

    MT: As we used to say in The Bronx: what shit.

  250. Little A.
    December 15th, 2011 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    The Silver Mist didn’t sell well in Germany, either, since Mist in German means shit.

  251. gleeb
    December 15th, 2011 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: I’m sure, after all the work of raising him, these two are glad that the woman who abandoned their son approves of them.

    Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: Leroy toils away in a tiny office, an abstract blue garment hanging in the corner.

    Mark: Andy’s halitosis drives off the wolves!

    Pluggers: …don’t know what gloves are.

    Rex: In so may ways, June has Rex’s bag.

    SpideyThor: See? See? Aunt May is there. It’s gonna be her…or it will be the boring, predictable plot.

  252. Edgy DC
    December 15th, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    I’ve figured something out. Gil Thorpe artist Rod Whigham just graduated from hand class.

  253. Shrug
    December 15th, 2011 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#81):

    “I remember a “Night Gallery” segment that turned on werewolves having an index finger longer than their middle finger.”

    I don’t think I saw that NIGHT GALLERY, but I’d always heard that one sign of werewolvery was having the index finger and the middle finger of the same length. I guess if the index finger is even longer it means that you are an especially villainous werewolf. (Another sign is having a unibrow — both eyebrows connected by hair across the bridge of the nose. I imagine that if I were a werewolf and wanted to hide the fact, I’d tend to keep that bit shaved or plucked. Hiding the finger length indicator would be a bit harder.)

  254. Shrug
    December 15th, 2011 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#167):

    “Sure, Buffy and her friends learn, but what about the Scooby Doo people? Every damn episode they get scared so bad they pee in their pants a little, despite having foiled fake ghost plots about a hundred times before and found exactly zero real ghosts.”

    The reverse is possibly even more irritating. In Seabury Quinn’s “Jules de Grandin” fantasy series from the old WEIRD TALES, de Grandin’s stupidish sidekick Dr. Trowbridge keeps laughing off suggestions that they may be about to get up close and personal with a ghost/vampire/werewolf/demon/etc. in seemingly every story, even though in every previous story he was equally dismissive and was in every case proved wrong. I suspect an overuse of brain bleach on his part in between each issue.

  255. Shrug
    December 15th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#204):

    “What does Camry evoke? Sentra? Focus? CRZ? I’d say at least half of model names are just gibberish.”

    My favorite is the Toyota Cressida — “Drive the car that’s named after a character famed for a thousand years as a sluttish faithless liar! Everyone will envy you!”

  256. Der Schnärkïnätör
    December 15th, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#255): “My favorite is the Toyota Cressida — “Drive the car that’s named after a character famed for a thousand years as a sluttish faithless liar! Everyone will envy you!””

    Oh, I’m sure that Cressida probably means something very different in Japanese and it just didn’t translate well.

  257. Der Schnärkïnätör
    December 15th, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#245):

    Nah, Gina gabbed with Mary instead of working. I’m sure it’s OK for Bree to do the same.

  258. Anonymous
    December 15th, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#158): Another problem with the Edsel was that it was created to fill two perceived gaps in the Ford Motor Co. price range, to be stepping stones of a sort between low-priced Fords to medium-priced Mercurys, and from there to high-priced Lincolns. It was intended to draw customers from GM, with their progression of Chevy/Pontiac/Olds/Buick/Cadillac, but many of the Edsel sales were by potential buyers of other Ford products.

    If the brand had held out another year it would have been interesting – they were earmarked to produce a compact model that instead became the Falcon/Comet.

  259. Vince M
    December 15th, 2011 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#158): Another problem with the Edsel was that it was created to fill two perceived gaps in the Ford Motor Co. price range, to be stepping stones of a sort between low-priced Fords to medium-priced Mercurys, and from there to high-priced Lincolns. It was intended to draw customers from GM, with their progression of Chevy/Pontiac/Olds/Buick/Cadillac, but many of the Edsel sales were by potential buyers of other Ford products.

    If the brand had held out another year it would have been interesting – they were earmarked to produce a compact model that instead became the Falcon/Comet.

  260. Vince M
    December 15th, 2011 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I was bummed to find that out – but I still get a kick out of AMC naming their compact the Gremlin…a critter said to be responsible for mechanical failure in WWII planes.

  261. Vince M
    December 15th, 2011 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#260): …which is supposed to be a reply to queek @ 224. Jeez, I’m on fire today!

  262. nike air max pas cher
    June 5th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

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