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That dog won’t hunt … or WILL IT???

Mark Trail, 1/23/12

OK, here’s a thing that has been persistently confusing to me about the current Mark Trail storyline: Tommy keeps insisting that he runs a “dog training business,” which, to an effete urban dweller such as myself, summons up an image of an obedience school where a Cesar Millan disciple explains to you how to establish an inter-creature dynamic within your household that prevents your adorable little Pomeranian from urinating on your newly restored hardwood floors. But Tommy only talks about Butch the blind dog and the rest of his business in terms of hunting, so I guess out in Real American “dog training businesses” are all about training your dog as a hunting companion, seriously, why would you even own a dog if you weren’t going to hunt with it? And so obviously a blind dog would be useless in such a context … unless Mark can prove that Butch has what it takes after all. Of course, the fact that Tommy is so transparently eager to get a 10-minute segment about Butch onto Animal Planet or the Outdoors Channel or Pointing The Camera At Nature or whatever basic cable channel Mark’s friend works for just goes to show that even Real America is desperately in thrall to the coastal media elites.

Hi and Lois, 1/23/12

It’s really quite sad that this is what Hi and Lois think a “quickie” is. And Lois isn’t even fully committed to it! You can’t drink tea at a coffee quickie, Lois.

Apartment 3-G, 1/23/12

Ha ha, Tommie is so boring that Lu Ann is going to call her “Margo” as she waves the MapQuest page she printed out all by herself at her. In the background, the actual Margo sees where this conversation is going and quickly decides to be anywhere else.

292 responses to “That dog won’t hunt … or WILL IT???”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Mandrake — Fred the Baker does his damndest to sound like June Foray’s Natasha Fatale.

    We are almost at destination. There you will join other prisoners — moose and squirrel.

    Family Circus — Judging by the expression on his face, Big Daddy Keane doesn’t appreciate being called a “flake” by one of his offspring!

  2. Hank Scorpio
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    I think Lois’ choice of tea is a signal to Hi that she’s open to that “experimenting” with Irma that he keeps talking about.

  3. Little Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#y162): That’s Italian for “Don’t Break the Box”.

  4. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    BBailey: “But you can’t WHOOSH me!”

    DT: He’s MELLLLLLLLLLLLTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING…!

    Doones: READ ALL ABOUT IT: Cartoonist Trudeau’s hatred of FoxNews plays havoc with storied ability to be up-to-date with current events on a comic strip schedule! Rick Perry still in race![/old movie street paperboy]

    GT: “What — you’re gay, too?”

    HotC: Yeah, but he’s a fictional cartoon char– Oh, wait….

    Luann: But “ambiguous” describes all romantic/sexual relationships in this strip!

    PBS: Awesome! Now, if RealPastis really had guts, tomorrow would be just 4 plain black panels.

    Phantom: Not if he’s Hobbes
    (not your average tiger — knows his residuals!)

    RMMD: When billows of black soot emit from his head like that, you KNOW it can’t be good!

    FC: “Yeah, honey — YOU!”

  5. Ned Ryerson
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MT: Nice job by the colorist. In Panel 2, Mark has slipped on a rubber glove color coded to match his shirt.

  6. Chareth Cutestory
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: We have to find some time to spend together, mostly so I can ask you what in the living hell is going on with your jacket lapels

  7. pugfuggly
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    MT Maybe when you run a dog-training school, you only act as a facilitator for your own dog, who teaches the other dogs how to hunt. And obviously the other dogs will only respect your dog if he can show that he can hunt well, maybe by showing them some sort of documented proof, like a TV movie. That’s reasonable, right?

    MW You know, we don’t actually have to see a comic of you waiting for something interesting to happen…you can just skip to the interesting thing….

  8. Little Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    9CL:… vs Libery Meadows. Discuss.

  9. Little Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#8): Liberty, dangit….

  10. Stickerz
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    “Dang my Wife has been kidnapped by a super hero, who is ONLY going to be stopped by ANOTHER superhero…. if only I had access to ANOTHER superhero….”

  11. Stickerz
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Also, what the HELL is “private” radar? Is that like when I pretend to be funny and pass a stud finder over my crotch?

  12. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    GT: Or maybe he’d want to do a film about a giant talking rabbit that spouts obvious aphorisms?

  13. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    GT? MT (still unfocused after Pats’ victory).

  14. AmyS
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    A3G: Luann seems not to know the word “itinerary.” Also, her “travel agenda” isn’t the route they’re taking; it’s “Show up and confront my loveless adoptive parents about the terrible job they did raising me, make them cry over their past unkindness to Ruby, and bitch-slap Janey before returning to the city in triumph.”

  15. Comcis Fan
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    H&L: Oddly, Ditto and Dot do seem to know what a quickie is, and appear more than a little queasy.

  16. Fish K
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Is Tommie copping a feel, or is she trying to push Lu Anne into another room?

  17. Chyron HR
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Ah, the Monday Luann–a brief moment of relief at the dropping of last week’s asinine story, which quickly turns to horror at the prospect of a completely different asinine story.

  18. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: Nurse Tommie reassures Luann: “At least there are no lumps in your breast.”

    FC: If you bury the body deep enough, Bil, she won’t be found until spring.

    JP: If one is being questioned as a suspect in a murder, is it a good idea to proudly complain that one is ready for trouble with a variety of firearms?

    SF: I know that many of us are big fans of Ces’s writing, but I wanted to throw some praise at the artwork in this strip; I really like the panels that blend and overlap. It’s all kind of off-kilter, which works well with the writing.

    MW: Oooh, it’s the Nobel Prize committee, isn’t it? (Yes, Mary is so special that Sweden comes to her.)

    MT: Be careful, Friend of Mark Who Makes Wildlife Movies: If Mark disapproves of your work, he’ll steal your memory card, and then where will you be? Nodding in wry appreciate of his acumen and wiliness, that’s where!

  19. Vlad the Impala
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    (This is actually wossname snarking, but I suddenly thought of that name and wanted to share it with people who would get it.)

    A3G – I don’t think Lu Ann is calling Tommie “Margo.” My interpretation was that even though she’s looking at Tommie, and the entire conversation, such as it is, takes place with Tommie, she finds it necessary to address her remarks to Margo. It’s kind of like somebody who’s constantly adding “God willing” to their sentences.

    MT – You know, bunny, you’re a darn sharp publicist. Now go explain the same thing to Mother McQueen.

    JP – Is it normal, do you think, to have a person of interest interrogated by a cop with whom she’s friends and on a first-name basis? I guess it is in the Parkerverse.

    MW – I will give Moy and Shulock 10 internet dollars each if Lu Ann and Ruby are at the door. But wait – actually I’m reducing Moy’s tip to 5 internets, because she cheated us out of a pool party.

  20. Captain Plaid Pants
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MT: “Hang on, Tommy, let me put on my gloves before taking this picture. And here I thought I wouldn’t have a chance to wear this fab shirt/glove combo this week! It goes to show, just because you’re in the bush, it doesn’t mean you have to dress like it! Amiright? Now where did that Butch go? I have an adorable bandana for him.”

  21. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    MT: MY AWESOME POWER OVER THE PUBLIC AS A FAMOUS WILDLIFE PHOTOJOURNALIST CAN NOT ALONE TURN THE PERCEPTION THAT A BLIND DOG CAN NOT HUNT! I MUST ENLIST THE AID OF THIS “NEW MEDIA”, WHERE PICTURES MOVE AND CAN BE ACCOMPANIED BY SOUND!

    Tommy: Butch is blind, he’s not DEAF, and I’m not DUMB. I’ve heard of ‘em teller-visins.

    I like the idea of a “made for TV movie” based on Butch’s life. The director will probably at some point have to mention that in order to get any ratings, Butch will have to follow Old Yeller to the grave. So sad. Sob. Pass me the Kleenex, will ya?

  22. Rimrock
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    A3G- I thought the ranch was in South Dakota. Is there nowhere in South Dakota they can fly? Or am I thinking of a different strip??

  23. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Pop Culture’s Kids for 1/23/11 is now up!

    No wonder Michelle was chasing a diminutive Nixon in PCK #4!

  24. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    MT-You don’t want to drum up publicity then that would bring in tourists who would ruin your happy little valley.

    MW-Like a spider waiting for its next meal or a Mafia Don waiting to dispense favors Mary eagerly waits for the next meddling to come across her path.

  25. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    H&L: I thought about this “quickie” thing until my thinker was sore. The vacous smiles of the parents, the astonished and frightened stares of the children, the insistence that the kids get the hell out and leave Mommy and Daddy alone for some grown up stuff… The ONLY plausible explanation is that they are both masturbating wildly under the table.

  26. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MT – Cool – Night of the Lupis remake – Ginormous Bunnys vs. the Ant People….

    H&L – Yeah, Hi – no need to mention Lo is jerking you under the table….

    A3G – Wow – guess there’s an ol’ fashioned bean canning goin’ on at the homestead – talk about a party….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  27. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie is boring? No, with that new hair, she’s starting a Justin Beiber tribute band!

  28. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#23): Make that 1/23/12!

  29. sporknpork
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait until three months from now when Mark and Tommy’s pitch meeting at the studio devolves into essentially Airbud in outerspace.

    Btw, “A few weeks later in 3G…”?? Ow, my neck! The whiplash hurts!!

  30. S. Stout
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    A3G: In only a few hours of comic time, LuAnn’s parents changed from Mom and Dad, to Ken and Vera, to now adoptive parents. Before you know it, they’ll be people I know, then complete strangers, and eventually unidentifiable swamp monsters.

    Luann: I’m pretty sure Gunther murdered her.

  31. Alter S. Reiss
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    You know, just looking at that one A3G strip, you’d think that Tommie is Margo, Margo is Ruby, and that Lu Ann and Ruby have finally reached the point where they have to let Lu Ann’s adoptive parents know that they’re a couple.

  32. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Rimrock (#22): It is in South Dakota. Why not fly into Sioux Falls? Were they worried that Luann couldn’t pronounce it? (“We’re flying into See-owx Falls!”)

  33. McManx
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail — You are correct. Old Butch doesn’t let being blind stop him from hunting… it’s the finding part that he seems to be having a bit of trouble with.

    Hi & Lois — The look of primal satisfaction and the fact that both have extended their arms out of sight seems to define a “coffee quickie” is a handjob under the table.

  34. Doctor Handsome
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    I’d watch the hell out of a TV movie about this incredible one-of-a-kind wonderpup who tracks game with his sense of smell!

  35. Pozzo
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Lois has heard that this “tea-bagging” thing might spice up their sex life, but doesn’t seem to have a clear concept of what it involves.

  36. Doctor Handsome
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    “We’re having a ‘coffee quickie.’ That will be followed by the ‘cantaloupe facial,’ and, of course, ‘donut fisting.’”

  37. Pozzo
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Oh, and all of a sudden the artwork in “H&L” is back to normal. WTF is going on at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC?

  38. KreatureFeatures
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MW: Who’s knocking at the door? I’m guessing it’s Joe Paterno’s ghost.

  39. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Crank: what a fucking farce. I am referring to the fizzle of a story arc with Rose driving the car. Fuck you, Batiuk.

    FC: “Yes, Dolly. And, as you can see by the expression on my face, I am SO happy that YOU started with just one sperm!”

    Luann: More disappointment. This whole week is going to suck.

    FW: (See Above)

    MW: Must be a visit from the Santa Royale Dept. of Meddle.

    RMMD: The guy leaves everything to Rex and it “can’t be good”?

    SFx: Ummmmm……..don’t look now, but it appears that Max Mouse is attempting to lift some cheese amongst all the confusion….

    Archie: Ha ha ha!! It’s funny, because………oh, the hell with it.

    SixChix: ……..if only.

    Love is…: Yeah right.

    Hope & Death: It looks like Hope killed Death!!

  40. TheDiva
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    A3G: Since LuAnn never manages to look directly at whomever she’s talking to, it’s entirely possible she momentarily forgot which roommate was involved in the conversation.

    MT: Laugh all you want, but when Butch becomes the star of daytime cable television Tommy will have the “owners who want to teach their aging hunting dogs to compensate for their failing sight” market cornered.

    9CL: This is what, week five of Brooke’s pinup parade? Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have this much cheesecake.

    FW: You heard her, Bull–quit trying to coach your own team!

    Luann: Rosa found the bodies in the crawlspace, huh Gunther?

    MW: Ten bucks says it’s the president and the Pope coming to congratulate her on single-handedly rescuing little Emily.

  41. Marc
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- So Mary is expecting “special” visitors and all she bothered to put on is a robe? Ohhh I see what she means by “special” now.

    Luann- Oh Jesus Christ no! Not a friggin Gunther strip. Everytime this little closet case makes an appearance, I get and enormous urge to go on a dork punching spree. And besides that, there is no “Gunther & Rosa”. They went on ONE date a few months ago and apparently haven’t seen each other since.

    Hi & Lois- Looks like the old art is back. Accompanied by an incrediblely nauseating “joke”.

    Funky- Coach Anal thinks she can just walk right in, talk about women’s lib, show some plays diagramed on parchment that were run in the peach basket days, and now she runs the place.

    Cranky- If she means nominated that illiterate, schoolbus driving, word mispronouncing, asshat who was a borderline minor league player at best, then she should just go jump in front of a train NOW. Of course that’s exactly who she means, and unfortunately won’t go become road kill.

  42. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Mary’s door rings instead of knocks. Crazy! Lois drinks tea at a coffee quickie. Outrageous! Mark sees a blind dog hunt. Nuts! Roland Headly moderates a debate with non-candidates. Unbelievable! An unknown stranger insists he supports Milford basketball, and yet refuses to get that spirit permanently engraved on his shoulder. What the… ? April isn’t expecting trouble, but she has three guns in her apartment. Bizarre! Sarge can’t do that, but he does it to Beetle. Zany! I’m going off the deep end!! Somebody STOP THE INSANITY!

  43. Nekrotzar
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    HL: the kids are deeply traumatized by the sudden teleportation of the peanut butter and jelly to another dimension, in a close encounter of the second kind, but the parents don’t notice because they are too busy not giving one another hand jobs under the table.

  44. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Crank: I predict that the nominee is Rose, who was a pitcher in the all women’s league during WWII. Her manager was a black guy named “Clambake”.

  45. ElkMeadow
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Luann: Aw, crap. Evans is doing a shout-out to Sailor Twain. Evan, comparing Gunther’s romance to Elijah Twain’s in any way, shape or form, or even in the same breath, is like comparing mechanically separated chicken to the mermaid, South.

  46. Nekrotzar
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Let me add that, as a father of 2, it makes me feel much better knowing that there are HEROES like Mary around to keep my kids safe. Thank you Mary!

  47. TheDiva
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#41): Don’t be so hasty–she could also mean Cayla’s grandfather who was A Credit to His Race back in the day. Although that’s unlikely, since he mainly exist to show the illiterate bus-driving asshat was not quite as big of an asshat maybe once in his life.

  48. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#38): Too soon – better make it Michael Jackson’s ghost….

  49. Maggie the Cat
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT- That is a weird set up that Tommy’s got there. I mean, people that hunt with dogs (from those that i know anyway) either raise their own dogs or buy one and train them to hunt as they’re being raised (you know, like on The Fox & The Hound). I’ve never heard of a training camp for hunting dogs, at least not around here. It’s more like Tommy lured Mark there with his “problem” and now he’s all “Hey, look what my super powered blind dog can do!!”

  50. Maggie the Cat
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#34): It’s a pretty unusual idea, isn’t it?

  51. Steve
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Curtis – According to his credit card company, Greg Wilkins is a prostitute.

  52. Maggie the Cat
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Stickerz (#11): I think so.

  53. Just Bob
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    When they make the movie about Old Butch, they should probably skip the part where a group of rabbits enjoy a spirited game of “who can hop closest to the blind dog.”

  54. Irrischano
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    “If he’s impressed with Butch, he may make a TV movie about him!” Wait, is Butch a dog or a former child star who turned to prescription drug abuse and hustling as an adult.

  55. Joe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    That dog can hunt alright, although in panel 2 he seems to be running in the opposite direction of where that rabbit is.

  56. cormac828
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – That rabbit in the third panel… what are we to make of it? It seems to be suggesting to two minuscule humans the advantages of advertising. Well I suppose it worked for the rabbits.

    And that rabbit looks like an extra from “Night of the Lepus”!

  57. Pyzimber
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    MW: Top 10 Things/People We’d Like to See Behind Mary’s Door, But Probably Won’t:
    #10: Bree, here to return Mary’s sweater.
    #9: Bill, the Good Eats Diner manager, back from the kitchen with his ice cream scoop weapon.
    #8: Land Shark.
    #7: The REAL Emily Smith.
    #6: Stripper-gram.
    #5: The blind dog from Mark Trail, wandering aimlessly trying to find a dead bird and landing at Mary’s doorstep.
    #4: The identity thieves.
    #3: WOLVES!
    #2: Wayne, recently escaped from the custody of the Santa Royale police force, coming back to exact his revenge upon Mary.
    #1: Santa Royale SWAT Team, investigating complaints about a meddling, self-congratulating old lady who likes pie.

    Feel free to add your own!

  58. Little Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MW: *knock knock knock* Mary? *knock knock knock* Mary? *knock knock knock* Mary?

    PBS: Thanks for the frakking earwork, Pastis!

    FW: S#it! S#it!

  59. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Mary’s Mystery Date Door:

    * Pregnant Delilah and her May-December husband what’s-his-name.

    * Two really ticked-off LDS missionaries: “Listen, Lady, you don’t have to believe in Joseph Smith or golden tablets or anything, BUT YOU ARE NOT GOD! Capisce?”

  60. Stev0
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Of course it’s a few weeks later. That’s how long it took for Lu Ann to figure out how to print something.

  61. Maggie the Cat
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Joe (#55): That dog can hunt alright, although in panel 2 he seems to be running in the opposite direction of where that rabbit is. That’s because Butch and the rabbit are using the Family Circus trail method. Going directly to the end, although shorter and faster, would be contrary to the method.

  62. Howard
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    I’ve never read A3G before. Am I supposed to understand this? There are three characters with five names!

  63. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#48): Still too soon — let’s make it the ghost of comedian Ernie Kovacs. (Happy birthday, Ernie!)

  64. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#59):

    * Otters.

  65. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Poncho looks much cuter in bunny ears than the bunny in Mark Trail. He almost belongs on Queek’s Daily Parade of Squee.

  66. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63):

    *The Nairobi Trio and/or The Ghost-Who-Walks.

  67. Peter Hillock
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    MW: I have a sick feeling that Emily and her parents are at the door and will spend the next week helping Mary congratulate herself on her wonderfulness.

  68. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#66): *In Bandar tongue….

  69. Austria
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    BB: Insert obligatory “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” joke here

    Blondie: I still wear a watch. Does this make me a Plugger?

    H&L: Aaaaaaaand now it’s back to normal.

    MW: Oh boy oh boy she’s monologuing!! New plot! New plot!! How will Mary meddle her way into the lives of her very special visitors? Tune in three weeks from now to find out!!

    MG&G: Ha ha, technol– *goes on murderous rampage*

    PBS: Oh no, Stephan got into a car accident!! Now he’s going to go back into the past and give a drawing of a rat to Young Lawyer Stephan!

    S4th: Brb, shipping.

  70. Pyzimber
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Peter Hillock (#67): Plus, Emily’s parents and Emily will be stuck together in the same hugging position – “Help us unstick ourselves, Mary!”

  71. Scott Free
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @AmyS (#14):
    And this was the plot synopsis of how many episodes of “CSI”? I don’t recall any of them ending well. Luann, remember: BLEACH IS YOUR FRIEND. It may not remove all traces of the blood, but it does break down that pesky DNA…

  72. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#30):

    A3G – Now, they’re just somebody that she used to know.

  73. Dk in the BK
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    H&L: I find it quite touching that Lois is comfortable enough to administer a wrist rocket to Hi in their kitchen, right there in front of god, the children and everyone.

  74. The Rixter of Dibley
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    GT: “I’m going places beyond Milford in my life…”
    And by places, he means LA and the “film industry.” Lini, you should know that tattoos are very popular in the porn community.

    MW: “I’m expecting very special visitors today!”
    Please, oh please, for pity’s sake do not let them be the Smiths. I cannot take another day of this story.

    MT: Just exactly when will this filming, production, editing, etc., take place? Mrs. Tommy is expecting this issue to be resolved by the end of Mark’s visit.

    A3G: I’m befuddled. What exactly is the point of a trip to South Dakota and confronting LuAnn’s “adoptive parents”? (What is the point of a trip to South Dakota in the winter under any circumstances?) Shouldn’t they be looking for the baby daddy, Kevin, instead?

    FC: “This all started with just one flake!”
    “Yes, that would be your Grandmother, Dolly.”

    FW: Delicious. This is shaping up to be a battle for control between Bull and Coach Anal. In round two, Bull throws a chair across the court, a la Bobby Knight. While Coach Anal is still sitting in it.

    @Marc (#41): If she means nominated that illiterate, schoolbus driving, word mispronouncing, asshat who was a borderline minor league player at best, then she should just go jump in front of a train NOW.
    Oh, barf! You just helped me realize where this is headed. Sometimes the humor in Crankshaft is at such a low ebb, it’s hard to know what they mean.

  75. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    I’m hoping there are villainous WOLVES! at Mary’s door.

    Does that make me a bad person?

  76. Esther Blodgett
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    H&L: Lois is teabagging during their quickie.

    S4th: Is Ces implying that Sally only wears her hair in a neo-Mary Tyler Moore flip because Ted likes it that way? Hmmm…

    Pluggers: Hahahahahaha! How funny this would be if I knew the first thing about golf! Right? This would be funny if I knew the first thing about golf, right? Work with me here.

    MT: While Mark and Tommy are talking, Butch goes and runs off a cliff.

  77. The Rixter of Dibley
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#57): MW: Top 10 Things/People We’d Like to See Behind Mary’s Door, But Probably Won’t:
    Mary’s injured neighbor Amy, with a terrible awful chocolate pie for Mary.

  78. Señor Tortilla
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    9CL: You know, even though this has gone on far too long and just exercises how much Brooke can get away with, it’s better than The Walking Stereotypes from Saturday.

    MW: @Pyzimber (#57): Let’s see…

    #10) Bobby, remembering what a twit Gina was
    #9) Bobby’s manager
    #8) The purse thieves, asking to get sage advice
    #7) Mob bosses
    #6) Thugs McKidnapper, explaining his real motivation (and tragic past)
    #5) Mary Worth’s husband Jack, assumed dead
    #4) Aldo’s ghost
    #3) Some crazy crossover with Apartment 3G, where Mary is Luann’s adoptive mother
    #2) A burning bag of shit
    #1) A restraining order from Emily’s parents

  79. btown
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth spotted two Jehovah’s Witnesses cruising her building when she returned from the Bum Boat Breakfast Buffet. She’s been eagerly awaiting their knock on her door for the past six hours, now

  80. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    MT-”Mark, when I told you that I made wildlife films I meant ‘wildlife’ films, Mark’s friend said using air quotes to mean something other than wildlife.
    Mark stared at his friend blankly not sure what he meant.
    “You know pornos.”
    Still no response from Mark.
    “You know pornographic films.”
    Mark still stared at his friend blankly not catching on to what his friend meant.
    “I make pictures of men and women having sex. You know films of a man sticking his penis into a woman’s vagina.”
    A horrified look suddenly crept across Mark’s face as he realized what his friend did.
    “Ewww,” Mark reacted,”Why would a man do that with a woman?”

  81. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-At least they have their clothes on for this quickie.

  82. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: can I get panel 2 as a poster?

    NAoQV: Baka Gaijin, can you loan her some firepower?

    SBp: costly upgrade.

    Mutts: unspeakable filth!!

    OBH: ROFL!!!! just win.

    SFx: Sly breaks out the brute squad for a shoplifter. the police state has stepped up the violence inherent in the system.

    rMC: yay! one of my favorite MC strips. “unclencheth”

  83. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . snowballing. (yur doin it rong)

  84. Zaratustra
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    MT: “Thanks, Marketing Advisor Rabbit!” “No problem, fri– GAH!” “See? Butch can still catch these talking animals, if you just keep them talking.”

  85. UncleJeff
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Wizard of Id: Finally getting around to that King Leonidas/”300″ joke that was stuck in the pipeline for a couple of years.

  86. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Bravo has gone too far this season.

    some trouble-shooters don’t need to shoot.

    Tetris, the truth revealed.

    just funny. (Roger)

    squee otter pup.

    The Power of Labrador eyes compels you!

    corgsqui pup is pleased to meet you.

    sk8tr boi.

  87. Occipital Lobe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Alright, Brooke, we get it, you’re a talented arteeste. Nobody does figure studies like you. WOULD YA KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY???

    Baby Blues: It’s funny because Hammie’s a cannibal!

    Beetle: So when is Sarge gonna go to the stockade already? By his sadistic grin in the third panel, this whole “unslakable thirst for violence” thing is gonna morph into “Serial Killer Snorkel” veeeeery soon now …

    Curtis: (crickets)

    FW: It’s funny because Bull’s having a coronary!

    PBS: It amazes me how few people seemed to “get” the Sopranos ending. David Chase telegraphed it in the weeks leading up to it … he WHACKED THE AUDIENCE, not Tony. And that means that Stephan — um … oh boy, we’re screwed.

    S4th: Notice how the narrator’s box has gone from “If Ted and Sally Never Met” to “If Ted and Sally Never Met IN COLLEGE”? Sorry, Ces, but you’re tipping your pitches here …

  88. commodorejohn
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to have to take serious issue with the phrase “Real America” as used to describe Mark Trail.

  89. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

  90. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Beetle-Bailey/Beetle

    Bailey: Usually that final statement would be something like “… but you CAN’T break my SPIRIT! You can kick the living sh!t out of me but I can still SIIINNNGGG!!!” Sarge goes ahead and renders Beetle’s body into an unrecognizable jumble resembling juicy fruit pulp, and Beetle is forced to concede that his soul has indeed been crushed by his erotic sadist partner. None of this is new to Beat-down Bailey readers. The reason I mention it is that I love Sarge’s self-satisfied grin, flashing his iconic one-tooth underbite. It is the grin of knowing that it was a job well done, especially for one such as he, with his arms that only reach to his waist and one leg shorter than the other. “Look at you! You’re mostly proportionate! You’ve got the ability to reach below your belt! You can stand vertically any time you choose! And what do you do with these gifts, you lazy little puke?? I’ll show you what it’s like to live as an awkwardly drawn crumple of lines with a one dimensional personality!”

  91. gleeb
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Lois is faking it?

  92. Red Greenback
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s the right fist o’ fabulous!

  93. Walker of Dog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#42): I’m worried that all the excitement of the upcoming A3G roadtrip (Roadtrip!) may send you over the edge. Somebody get this mudge a Valium!

    @Pyzimber (#57): #11 – A dysfunctional handbell choir that has forgotten the true meaning of Handbell Choir.

    MT: In the TV movie, Old Butch will be played by Barry Bostwick.

    MW: Mary is so awesome that she gets three or four periods at once.

  94. Pyzimber
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#78): I would LOVE either an A3G crossover in Mary Worth, as well as a Mark Trail and possibly even Rex Morgan crossover. Come on people, let’s make this happen!

  95. hogenmogen
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Pluggers/

    I have no intrinsic knowledge of golf, but I would have thought that those aging, overeating, myocardial-infarction-cases-to-be would at least be competent at the world’s least exhausting sport (with the possible exception of tiddly-winks). I love the way that Brookins assumes that his readership completely understands that parring off on tee 3 or whatever is obviously foolish. In a precursor to The Illiad, Odysseus tried to fake being insane by plowing his fields by teaming an ox side by side with a mule. This almost worked, as the Greeks believed he must be off his rocker to do such an outrageous thing. The Greeks understood it. 2600 years later, my classics class was like “???”

    Anyway, I have ideas for future Pluggers, like
    “You’re a Plugger if you steal second on a squeeze play.”
    “You’re a Plugger if you attempt a 40 yard pass late in the 4th when you’re up by 3.”
    “You’re a Plugger if you can sink a 3 from outside the arc, but you’re just not enough of a widebody to muscle in the paint.”

    I’d try a Hockey thing, but I don’t have the technical jargon down. i’d probably talk about a slapshot blocked by oxes or mules in the crease.

  96. tallyHO
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63):
    Going with The ghost of Ernie Kovacs wouldn’t be too soon. But, only Mary’s surviving die-hard readers who read the strip with a magnifying glass would know.

    So, if we are going to build up anticipation and throw out the unexpected.
    What about making it Bob Dylan?

    Knock Knock Knocking on Mary’s Door.

  97. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    MT: What a fascinating media universe Mark Trail lives in. First the story of an old lady in Canada keeping a few trained moose and bears in her backyard was such an EXPLOSIVE STORY!!! that Kelly Welly’s photos had to be destroyed, lest this heaven on Earth be flooded by tourists. Now Mark finds out about a blind hunting dog, and he’s sure he can magically conjure a TV movie deal with one phone call.

    A3G: “So Lu Ann, does finding out about your true parentage make you want to make out. Maybe? Just a little?”
    “Uuuuuuuuuhhh.”

    GT: This is something I unironically enjoy about recent Thorp. The churchy/”fashion conscious” Cortez/Lini “together they fight crime” scenes.

    SSmith: How often does Snuffy greet the Parson with that extended limp-wrist gesture? Pard, you can keep your theories on why there’s no Mrs Parson to yourself.

    BSt: That would be a great vacuum cleaner if for any reason you had to vacuum up a lot of white powder.

    BB: Do I want to know the end of Beetle’s sentence? Probably not.

    Archie: Why is Jughead always wearing white suspenders in these repeats? He talks too much to be a mime.

    RMMD: Well, better a package from Foster than one from his grieving shafted widow. Tick-tick-tick.

    FC: You know what else started with one little flake? The sixties! And that’s a place Bil doesn’t want to go back to.

    SFx: Slylock has long since inured himself to being a party to police brutality, so seeing the shoplifter dog get beaten to a pulp won’t trouble him for a moment. Max won’t be sleeping tonight, though.

  98. gnome de blog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#78):
    Actually, it’s Tommie, not Lu Ann, who is Mary’s secret abandoned daughter. Frank the skater guy is the father, but he doesn’t know. Tommie was born while Black Jack Worth was in the pen for securities fraud. Mary left her at an orphanage a week before Black Jack was released.

    Black Jack died mysteriously a few months later. The money was never found. Frank the skater guy took up with another woman.

  99. Walker of Dog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    S-M: The Avengers’ winter rye grass has come in well this year.

    JP: April’s situation becomes more precarious when the officer brings in an anti-aircraft gun, a basket-hilted sword, and that mallet from The Three Stooges.

    RMMD: Rex inherited everything, including Foster’s vintage stash.
    But what a disappointment – it’s all unshaven women sporting beehives and pageboys.
    *sigh*
    Pageboys…

    A3G: Questioning all of her family connections after the revelation about her adoptive parents and her birth mother, Lu Ann has imprinted on the itinerary:
    Lu Ann: “Oh, itinerary, we’ll be together forever.”(hugs)
    Itinerary: “Ahh, no, too tight…!” (wrinkles, rips)
    Lu Ann (looks around room): “Oh, framed doodle, we’ll be together forever.”
    Framed Doodle: “Oh crap….”

  100. Chip Whittle
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    It is possible Lu Ann’s adoptive parents don’t know they adopted her? Maybe she was just put under a cabbage leaf one day and they figured, well, that’s how it always happened before.

  101. AlanofOdenton
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    MW: Mary is so excited about her special visitor that she parked her chair directly in front of the door.

  102. finette
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    I grew up in South Dakota and I just wanted to assure everyone that we do in fact have commercial airports. (Wellllll…a few, anyway.) And most of the ranches (as opposed to farms) are in the western half of the state, so Rapid City would probably be the most logical airport for Lu Ann’s purposes. Hell, even if her non-parents live somewhere in the extreme northeastern corner (the only area it might make sense to fly into Minnesota instead), there are numerous airports that are closer to there than freakin’ Minneapolis.

  103. btown
    January 23rd, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    oh, I just noticed that Mary is already making the benediction gesture as she rises to answer her door. She knows that, whoever is calling on her, they will be seeking her blessing

  104. commodorejohn
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I hope Lu Ann does the driving. They should be able to get a good three weeks out of her getting lost in St. Paul.

    H&L – “Oh, and, uh, that’s your NC-17 warning, kids. Stay at your own peril.”

    JP – Unbelievably shapely women and copious quantities of firearms? This storyline has it all!

    Luann – ohmygodnocanwegobacktoweenieworldPLEASE

    Mandrake – So the plot is that Mandrake has been kidnapped by an army of Oliver Hardy clones?

    MT – Oh please be Rex Allen oh please be Rex Allen…

    MW – Okay, as much as I love Mary’s Crypt Keeper study and cult robe, I’m seriously unnerved by this. Are the Great Old Ones coming to town?

    OBH – If you need me, I’ll just be rolling on the floor.

    PBS – I know Pearls plays fast and loose with death, but come on, you could at least put the nominal cliffhanger at the end of a week!

    RMMD – “This can’t be good!” Well no shit, Rex, it means Foster knew he was going to be killed. …you don’t have a clue about any of this, do you?

    SF – Hey, it’s hard to come up with good interview small-talk.

    SM – “Oh God, it’s Spider-Man again. Lemme guess, the putz is in over his head, isn’t he?”

    WoI – No.

  105. Will
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    H&L: At least the artwork is back to normal. Except for the lapels, as Chareth Cutestory (#6) pointed out. They are screwy in each panel, and immensely screwy if you try to believe that it’s the same jacket.
    MW: It’s probably the Pope, the Dalai Lama, and the President coming to congratulate her. And then we’ll get another week of Mary being humble about how damn wonderful she is.

  106. gnome de blog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95):
    You’re an idiot if you don’t steal second on a squeeze play. It’s, like, a gimme. If the batter gets the bunt down you have to run anyway. If he doesn’t the catcher will be too busy tagging out the runner from third to throw you out. If it’s a foul ball, well, no harm.

    You’re a Plugger if you’re a 40-year-old left-hand batter who never brings his glove to the park.
    You’re a Plugger if most of your playing time comes on special teams.
    You’re a Plugger if you last 10 years in the League as a backup center (by your definition Steve Nash and Tony Parker are Pluggers).
    You’re a Plugger if you have more penalty minutes than shots on goal.

  107. Beetle Bumstead
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Lois Bailey Flagston. Wife. Mother. Entrepreneur. Tea-Party Patriot. What Lois doesn’t want you to know is that she engages in ‘Coffee Quickies.’ In front of her own children!

  108. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#30) on Luann: Sooo, we’ll soon see Gunther’s most outrageous outfit ever: he’ll sashay in wearing Rosa’s skin.

    @Joe (#55): Of course Butch is running away from the rabbit. It’s duck season!

  109. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Maybe Lois has one of those coffee bags. They’re made for quickie coffee.

    Does anyone out there have a totally black floor in their kitchen?

  110. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95): “More oxen, mule!” — Margostothenes

  111. yaoi huntress earth
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#8): At least Cho could draw women’s bodies and faces (with jaws) although his females often had same face syndrome. But from what I remember, even he wasn’t this obsessed (nor were Jen and Brandi based off his offspring).

  112. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#108): WABBIT SEASON!

  113. Ned Ryerson
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you driven more nails than golf balls with your Ben Hogan steel shaft 4 iron (that you recovered from an abandoned storage unit when you were hoping to find some vintage porn or maybe a snowblower).

    You’re a Plugger if you give up golf because bending over to pick up a tee is too strenuous (or nearly impossible).

    You’re a Plugger if Bob Hope is your favorite golfer.

    You’re a Plugger if you insist on acting out the Ed Norton golf gag during every round. (Address the ball. “Hello, ball!”)

  114. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @finette (#102): I think the Minneapolis airport is the wisest move, since Lu Ann is from East Dakota (or maybe West Dakota — that wouldn’t make a lot of sense then, but this is Lu Ann we’re talking about).

  115. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#57): An untethered kite that was looking for Wilbur Weston’s flat. A beagle that knows how to play dead, dead. The Bum Boat wait staff with hands out waiting for 30 years of tips. The wreck of the Hesperus. The Spanish Inquisition. No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition!

    @Peter Hillock (#67): No, please no! Any more of Mary’s overinflated ego and I’ll throw myself in front of a clown car. In a clown parade. At the clown university graduation.

    @AlanofOdenton (#101): Maybe Mary’s place was built by the contractors who built Rose’s in that Batiuk strip?

  116. Walker of Dog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109): Yes, but that’s just because of all the dried goat blood.

  117. Marc
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#75): No, it just makes you a sane person.

  118. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#112): DUCK SEASON!!!

  119. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#118): [BLAM!!]

    You’re despicable.

  120. AhClem
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    JP – “April, why do you have a thermonuclear device in the laundry hamper?”

    “I collect atomic warheads as a hobby. Found that one on eBay.”

  121. Calico
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Hank Scorpio (#2):
    Or something else between H & L that I don’t really even want to mention …

  122. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#104): Mandrake — So the plot is that Mandrake has been kidnapped by an army of Oliver Hardy clones?

    I beg to differ. It’s an army of Fred the Baker clones:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=petqFm94osQ

  123. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    MT – Logic and proportion (how big is that white rabbit?) long ago fell sloppy dead, so it is only appropriate that a giant bunny is now giving marketing advice to the person who hopes to sell more hunting trips.

  124. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: 5496 days, or as Sir Walter Scott would surely have put it:

    Breathes there the man, with soul so dead,
    Who never to himself hath said,
    “Whither hath Barney Google strayed?
    Where’s Spark Plug and Sut Tattersall?
    Favorites of yore all gone AWOL!
    Vanished from the strip they had made.”
    If such there breathe, go, mark him well:
    “So what,” he says, “so what the hell,
    It’s just another ancient strip,
    And anyway there’s Snuffy Smith.”
    Despite all titles, power, and pelf,
    The wretch, concentred all in self,
    Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
    And, doubly dying, shall go down
    To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
    Unwept, unhonor’d, and unsung.

  125. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    General note: Me sick. Up and down all night last night, getting exercise between bedroom and bathroom. In no shape for witticisms or even looking at words on screen too long. Sorry. Gotta go.

    @Notebooked (#y144): Actually, I looked ahead to see if somebody’s correcting me! It’s just the term “noir” that didn’t fit, to the best of my recall. But I think the noir years of film were later than that. Maybe I was just dying to say something.

    Gah, I can’t be here. I’m sick. Lie down now.

  126. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    JP – My initial assumption at the start of this story line was that the author was attempting to make us suspect that April was the failed assassin. Now it is clear that we are supposed to be indignant that people suspect that she is the failed assassin. But, isn’t that how it always works? Everyone always blames the attractive, busty, scantily-clad blonde. Poor thing! All these people asking all these awkward questions – this would never happen if she hadn’t been racially profiled. Good thing she is on a first-name basis with the police investigator, and would have already slept with the judge if he had any testicles left after the castration ritual required to ascend to alpha-male status in Parkerville.

  127. Calico
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109):
    No black kitchen floor, but we recently bought one of those K-Cup coffee maker thingys.
    I am somewhat concerned about the environmental impact of all those discarded little cups, but the good thing is that it has a reusable filter you can put loose coffee (or tea!) in. I’ve been doing the loose coffee quickie!

  128. Calico
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    “Loose coffee quickie” sounds kind of like a dance.

  129. TheTJ
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Butch may not let being blind stop him from trying to hunt, but he completely missed the giant rabbit hanging out in the foreground.

  130. commodorejohn
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    So does a “coffee quickie” involve running “hot water” through the “grounds basket,” pouring it into the “cup,” and “stirring in creamer?”

    …I’m sorry.

  131. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#49): I don’t know how common it is, but my neighbor sent his dog to hunting-dog boarding school. The pup was gone for about 6 weeks, and it cost the guy many thousands of dollars.

  132. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95):

    “You’re a Plugger if you attempt a 40 yard pass late in the 4th when you’re up by 3.”

    No, a Plugger coach calls three runs into the line, then punts on 4th-and-3 with 1:30 left in the game. Many a team has lost a late lead by following Coach Plugger’s strategy, rather than taking a risk on 2nd down and throwing it deep when the other team has both safeties in the box to stop the run.

    “You’re a Plugger if you can sink a 3 from outside the arc, but you’re just not enough of a widebody to muscle in the paint.”

    Or, you are a 6-7 college power forward who needs to expand his game and prove he can hit the outside shot and thus be a viable small forward or shooting guard in the NBA. Adapting to fit changing job expectations? Definitely not a plugger.

  133. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @TheTJ (#129):

    MT: Butch may have a future helping sniff out invisible giant rabbits for people who feel as if they are being stalked.

  134. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#128): Oh, it’s a kind of dance alright.

  135. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131): But… can the dog hunt!?

  136. Tess
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois know what a real quickie is. They have to, if what you have lead me to believe about their S&M sex life is true. My understanding is that Hi wants a few more minutes so Lois can finish up with that hand job. I’m not sure what the coffee is for.

  137. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#109):

    Does anyone out there have a totally black floor in their kitchen?

    No, my kitchen floor is blood red. It’s a lot more forgiving.

    What?

  138. Dood
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Is it me or is this current storyline out to prove that had Mark and/or Kelly written about Peaceful-Gold-Filled Valley featured in the last storyline, tourists would have overrun the place?

  139. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125): We should have warned you that excessive exposure to Mary Worth’s narcissism can cause nausea and vomiting in certain people.

  140. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe no one’s said this already about today’s Pearls Before Swine but…
    Don’t stop, be Stephan! Whoah-oh-oh-oh!

  141. Ned Ryerson
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#130): A coffee quickie: Two Flagstons, one K-cup!

  142. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#128): I’d be more inclined to see it as a bowel movement, inspired by the laxative effects of coffee….

  143. UncleJeff
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#95): “You’re a Plugger if you attempt a 40 yard pass late in the 4th when you’re up by 3.”

    Are you implying that Tom Brady (late 4th qtr, Sunday’s game) is a Plugger?

  144. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#69): I still wear a watch too. First because I don’t carry a cell, and second because time looks cooler in analogue.

  145. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: Just have to point out that a blind dog wouldn’t be useless for hunting, since they “see” better with their sense of smell than they actually see with their eyes. So finding things and avoiding things and knowing where things are in their general surroundings aren’t going to be a problem. It’s a deaf dog that would be much less useful, since he couldn’t hear the commands you’re giving him.

    Stop granting them their stupid ass premise, man! It’s even stupider than you think.

  146. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#144): Put me on the list of analog watch wearers. My wrist would feel naked without it.

    I carry a cell phone but it’s a pain in the neck to use it as a timepiece.

  147. Uncle Lumpy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#128):
    @Dennis Jimenez (#142):

    Hey, sounds like “Loose Coffee Quickie” is what Muffaroo’s got.

  148. Ned Ryerson
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    You’re a Plugger if you use some old steel spiked golf shoes to aerate the soil in your worm bin.

    You’re a Plugger if your “Green Jacket” is a John Deere windbreaker you snagged when they were cleaning out some old lockers at the bowling alley.

    You’re a Plugger if you haven’t had your ticket punched since Ike carried his own golf clubs. (line stolen from old Church Lady sketch on SNL)

  149. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#42):

    Roland Headly moderates a debate with non-candidates.

    Yeah, Trudeau’s relatively brief (2-3 week?) lead time turns out to be too long for this election cycle. Maybe he can pull a save later by explaining that Rick Perry enjoys debates so much he took them up as a hobby.

  150. Calico
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#147):
    Oh Lordy you all! Yes, coffee works that way…

    I do hope Muffaroo is feeling better.

  151. gnome de blog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Occipital Lobe (#87):
    No, keep it up. Brooke has finally found a suitable format. No pretentious junior-high-school dialog cluttering things up.

  152. Daria Foxendorffer
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    If Ces wrote “Mary Worth”:
    Medium Large Comic: Monday, January 23, 2012 http://wp.me/pePrz-1GR via @wordpressdotcom

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125): Just remember what Nietzsche said about how whatever doesn’t kill you can still make you feel really lousy… oh, wait.

    Get well, Muffaroo.

  154. gnome de blog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#113):

    You’re a Plugger if you driven more nails than golf balls with your Ben Hogan steel shaft 4 iron

    Funny you should mention that. I have a set of steel-shaft Ben Hogans missing the 4-iron. You don’t live anywhere near Chambers Bay in Tacoma do you? I’ll take it back even if you’ve been driving nails with it.

  155. Government Cheese
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “It’s ambiguous. In that I mean everytime we try to go out on a date, I jizz my pants.”

    MW: “I’m expecting very special guests today!” Who is she speaking to, her book?

  156. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#153): You sound like you know what were talking about – so, GBS’s Man and Superman – that’s the one that introduces Lex Luthor, right….

  157. Joshua
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Looking at Expedia, it’s possible that LuAnn and Ruby could save something like $200 each by flying to Minneapolis rather than Sioux Falls. So there might be some logic to them flying to MSP and renting a car rather than flying into Sioux Falls itself. Also, this way they don’t have to change planes. (If they were flying to Rapid City instead of Sioux Falls, the airplane tickets would likely be even more expensive.)

  158. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#66): Thank you for mentioning The Nairobi Trio -- one of the greatest musical groups of all time:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoLTFQsFswM

    Get well soon, [Old Man] Muffaroo!

  159. Dale
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#145):

    We’ve already seen Butch trip over a fallen tree. Is he going to do better with rocks, ditches, roads, and barbed wire fences?

  160. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#46):

    “Let me add that, as a father of 2, it makes me feel much better knowing that there are HEROES like Mary around to keep my kids safe. Thank you Mary!”

    Are you sure there are two? Do you have A LIST of them??? Do you ever leave one of them hanging from the back of your chair?

  161. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#146):

    The problem with an analog timepiece is that it isn’t discrete enough. I can’t just have the time continuously moving by on my wrist, I need the time to be represented by small intervals of visibility that I can control digitally.

  162. This Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Pluggers makes me think of those legendary standardized-test questions about yachting.

    Meanwhile, Ces draws what we’re all thinking in Medium Large.

  163. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#69):

    “Blondie: I still wear a watch. Does this make me a Plugger?”

    I haven’t *worn* a watch since grad school, if I recall correctly, but for many years after that (until it broke) I *carried* a pocket watch. Does that make me an uber-Plugger?

    (Yeah, I know, “if you spent years carrying a watch, didn’t that make it hard to type?”)

  164. Shea S
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Um, did I read that right? They’re flying to Minneapolis, then driving to a ranch? They do realize that there are no ranches in Minnesota, right? Or in all of the upper Midwest? Were all of the flights to Texas booked solid?

  165. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#100):

    “It is possible Lu Ann’s adoptive parents don’t know they adopted her? Maybe she was just put under a cabbage leaf one day and they figured, well, that’s how it always happened before.”

    She followed us home and, ah, just look at her, you KNOW she won’t be bright enough to find survive on the streets, and I’ll bet she won’t eat much, and she has hardly any fleas, and I’ll walk her every day, can we keep her, please, huh huh?

  166. StrangeRover
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    MT: As The Dog Whisperer moniker is already taken, Tommy will be staking out his own niche in the dog-training market as “The Dog Shouter”™.

  167. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#113):

    You’re a Plugger if you’re sure this “designated hitter” thing is just a passing fad.

    (I wish…)

    You’re a Plugger if you bet on professional wrestling matches (and lose).

    You’re a Plugger if, every time you watch the Olympics, you make the same joke about “How come there aren’t any javeline *catching* events?”

  168. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#114):

    Or maybe LuAnn never quite got the distinction between “Dakota County (MN)” and “South Dakota” ?

  169. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#156): Well, of course, Yes. I mean no, I think. Maybe.
    Zwei Seelen wohnen, ach! in meiner Brust.

  170. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125):

    “Gah, I can’t be here. I’m sick. Lie down now.”

    Have you checked to see if perhaps you have three fragmented .22 bullets in your body? That has been known to make people have to take to their beds.

    Fortunately, it can be cured with smelling salts.

  171. Shrug
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131):

    I keep thinking this “hunting dog training camp” thing is really a front some sort of fascist paramilitary army of attack dogs. “We get useful idiot Mark Trail to raise money for us by getting an inspiring movie made, then we use it to buy doggis bazookas and free Cuba!”

  172. Marion Delgado
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    And with that, “Rex Morgan, a New Generation” gets off to an explosive start.

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Rex_Morgan/2012-01-23/

  173. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#169): Eine Seele büsten aus und singt “Hello My Baby”

  174. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    MT-Hearing the news that a film crew was coming the rabbit ran off to tell his duck friend and that is how Loony Toons was born.

    A3G-Luann you have been listening to Margo for too long. South Dakota has airports in it. You don’t have to drive through all of Minnesota just to get to South Dakota.

  175. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#126): I’d be indignant, too, if I could handle that kind of firepower and was only accused of being a “failed” assassin.

  176. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

  177. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#168): I wonder if LuAnn gets the difference between Dakota Co., MN, and that building in NYC where John and Yoko lived….

  178. AhClem
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Ruby is taking LuAnn to Minneapolis because the Mall of America is close to the airport. Once they visit “Al’s Farm Toys Store” at the mall, LuAnn won’t know the difference between that and a real ranch. “Ooh, moomie cows!”

  179. This Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#173): Und dann sage ich “Nicht schon wieder…”

  180. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#179): Eine Kline Knacht Musik – does that fit at all???

  181. Little Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: No Dick Tracy riffs? I am disappoint.

    Tattos Are Bad, M’Kay?: Abby Sciuto would like a word with this storyline.

  182. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#179): Ja. Es ist frustrierend.

  183. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#180): Yes. You can play it while doing the coffee quickie dance.

  184. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    MW-How nice Mary is going to be helping the mentally challenged in this storyline.

  185. TheDiva
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#146): Add me to the list of dinosaur watch-wearers. The five seconds I save glancing at my wrist vs. digging my cell phone out of my purse may not sound like much, but believe me it adds up.

  186. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#173):
    When Homer smote his blooming lyre,
    And Nero set Rome’s pants on fire,
    Mighty Cthulhu met Hello Kitty,
    Down the lane from Walter Mitty.
    And hearken all the shrieking door hinge!
    Here is William, Prince of Orange!

  187. Illustrator Steve
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    MT –
    One pill makes you LARGER,
    and one pill makes you SMALL,
    But using a blind dog to go hunting,
    won’t get you ANYTHING at all!
    (With appologies to Grace Slick)

  188. Calico
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#187):
    Go ask Rusty
    When he’s ten feet tall

  189. kkarenb
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Vlad the Impala (#19): Or wossname – A couple of years ago I was listening to Car Talk while I was driving somewhere, and they read a list of memorable vanity license plates. One was a plate on an Impala that read “VLAD.” I laughed out loud. Don’t remember any of the other ones.

    Zits – Maybe the teacher will allow Jeremy to write a song to make up for the work he didn’t do.

    MT – Writing a story to drum up publicity for the dog training business? Seriously? I have no background in journalism, but doesn’t this fall under questionable ethics for a so-called journalist? I know that I get really annoyed when the local tv news does “special reports” pimping Disney World and the like.

    Rex Morgan – Speaking of ethics, someone pointed out around a week ago that Rex being named in a patient’s will would raise all sorts of red flags ethically. Why isn’t the licensing board and the state Attorney General pouncing on this? Instead, Rex will just get more stuff handed to him.

  190. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    H&L – Actually, Lois is such a hardcore caffeine fiend, she makes tea from coffee instead of from water. So she’s drinking coffee AND tea at the same time.

  191. Illustrator Steve
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Hey Mark! LOOK at that GIGANTIC white rabbit that Blind Dog Butch hunted down for us!
    “Yeah Tommy, too bad that GIGANTIC white rabbit CRUSHED Butch to death when he ran right under it’s HUGE paws as if he were bli…oh, sorry Tommy!

  192. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#186):
    Your verse surprised me like rotten strudel.
    You did not mention Barney Google!

    Dang, it’s hard to rhyme “Google.”

  193. Jeff
    January 23rd, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Fellow CC’ers…my hometown paper, The Columbus Dispatch is seeking input on “teaking” it’s comics page(s). The editors want feedback specifically about retaining Peanuts Six Chix, moving Judge Parker from the Classified section to the comics page (or kill it altogether) and are asking if you could change out (drop) up to five comics, which ones would they be. Strips running in the Dispatch: Peanuts, B.C., Hagar the Horrible, Zits, Hi & Lois, Pearls Before Swine, Marvin, Stone Soup, Tina’s Groove, Dilbert, Blondie, Frank & Ernest, Sherman’s Lagoon, Funky Winkerbean, Garfield, Sally Forth, One Big Happy, Agnes, Garfield, For Better or For Worse, Overboard, The Middletons, Beetle Bailey, Jump Start, Baby Blues, Doonesbury, Get Fuzzy. Panels: Family Circus, Marmaduke, Moderately Confused, Six Chix, Ziggy
    Editorial page: Non Sequitor. Classifieds: Judge Parker

    I would specifically like them to move Judge Parker back to the comics page. Please email them at: talking@dispatch.com. Thank you so kindly.

  194. Illustrator Steve
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jeff (#193): Since the Columbus Dispatch does NOT run the Mark Trail comic strip they should be highly commended. Appearantly their readers have no idea just how damn lucky they are!

  195. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#157): Only on this website would someone check travel prices for fictional characters. Bravo!

    @Dale (#159): Damn! I forgot all about that. Ha ha ha ha ha! That was hilarious! Doggy slumped over the loggy in the woodsy. I am so going to hell, ain’t I?

  196. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125):

    Me sick.

    Ailing? Rat sympathizes.

    Really. Get well soon.

  197. Jasper
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    MT- “There’s one catch though Tommy, by wildlife I mean beastiality. Although the pay is very good, er uh at least that’s what I hear.”

  198. Jeff
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#194):

    They used to, but it got dropped. And, then they banished Judge Parker to the classifieds.

  199. gnome de blog
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#167):
    You’re a Plugger if you ARE a designated hitter. Particularly if you’re a one-tool guy past 35 and just trying to collect enough career stats to merit consideration for the Hall of Fame. Call it the Eddie Murray rule.

  200. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#189): re Zits: That’s only applicable if you plagiarize. Jeremy’s crime is just laziness.

  201. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#192): The Bum-Boat Special is very Frugal, but still too much for Barney Google….

  202. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Jeff (#193): “Teaking”? I’m more into oak, myself… :)

    OK, seriously, I do question why NS would be on the editorial page and Doones on the comics page… especially without any (obvious) opposing view strips anywhere.

    I don’t know which ones I’d drop, since I don’t know the dynamics or the demographics involved.

  203. Cyranetta
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: Has Mary moved into a Charterstone closet? It looks just big enough for the bookshelves and chair.

  204. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#201):
    Not bad. It’s now a call to arms…

    Get out of bed, blow the golden bugle,
    And find a rhyme for Barney Google.

  205. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#192):

    Your rhyme’s OK, but let’s be frugal;
    instead of strudel, how ’bout kugel?

  206. Flamedrake
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    It’s good to see that Apartment 3-G is tackling the subject of adoption with all the tastefulness and maturity of Problem Child.

  207. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#201): Oops, I didn’t notice you posted “frugal” first while I was working on my rhyme. Now I know how Muffaroo feels (on a normal day, that is).

  208. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#144): I have several problems with digital time.

    First off, it keeps changing. I mean, analogue time keeps changing too, but it’s not as obvious. On an analogue watch, any time between 2:43 and 2:37 is basically “a quarter to three.” But digital time pieces keep reminding you of every single, passing minute. It’s too stressful.

    Another problem I have is that if someone asks what time it is, I always freeze up if I’ve only got a digital display. The time might be 3:42, for instance, but I don’t want to say, “It’s three fort-two,” because that sounds so anal. So then I try to round it out. So I’ll start to say, “It’s three forty.” The problem is, when we’re looking at an analogue display, we don’t tend say, “It’s three forty,” we’re more likely to say, “It’s twenty to four.” As a result, I end up saying something like, “It’s three forty twenty to three. I mean four.” And then I smile and pretend that what I said makes perfect sense.

    So basically, digital time pieces just complicate my life way too much.

  209. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#146): I noticed a few years back that none of my students seemed to wear watches any more. I asked one class about it and they assured me that since they all carried cell phones, it was faster and easier for them to get the time from their phones. I then asked what time it was, and while everyone started to fumble with their cell phones I glanced at my wrist and said, “Oh, never mine. I’ve got it.”

    Yes, I am a prick. Why do you ask?

  210. JimiOcala
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#26): Maybe the first NSFW Hi & Lois ever?

  211. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): @Sequitur (#204):
    When J.S. Bach composed music fugal,
    Did he ever think of Barney Google?
    But I would rather eat a bug
    Than write a sonnet for Spark Plug.

  212. Dennis Jimenez
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#207): Well, I’da never come up with Kugel – the best I was doing was an imperfect rhyme on a bowel movement theme using MetaMucel….

  213. KreatureFeatures
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#63): and @Dennis Jimenez (#48):
    Yes, it’s a little soon. And I actually like Papa Joe except for the one horrific misjudgement.
    But this is a great opportunity for Mary to wag her finger self-righteously, while spouting
    “see something, say something” platitudes.

  214. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#185): me, too.

  215. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#209): I suppose it IS anal, but I although I wear a watch, I prefer a digital one, because I can set it to 24 hour time. I also set it by the Naval Observatory atomic clock, and never allow it to be off by more than fifteen seconds. I can’t help it. Twenty some years in the military…
    I try to be nice though: When a civilian asks me the time, instead of saying 16:23, which is what my watch actually says, I translate to four twenty three. If that’s too precise for them they can buy their own damn watch.

  216. These Strange Worlds
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#97):

    Maybe back in 1960 when this strip first came out, blind hunting dogs were newsworthy. Now I quickly Googled a couple dozen videos, including this one.

    http://iawaterfowlers.com/30365/cooper_blind_hunting_dog

    I’ve had a blind cat, and he seemed pretty happy right up until the end. The hunting dog in this video seems pretty happy too, even when he accidently runs into the barbed wire fence.

  217. These Strange Worlds
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    Mix and match your comics! It’s fun and cheap.

    For instance, panel 1 from:

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Spider-Man/

    And panel 2 from:

    http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Mary-Worth/

  218. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#192): I HAD hoped for a little credit for rhyming “door hinge” with “orange”, but I suppose it is too much to expect justice in this wicked world!

  219. bats :[
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @These Strange Worlds (#217): remembering that “Them!” was one of those “big bug” films from the 1950s with giant ants, that’s where I’m pinning my hopes and dreams…

  220. These Strange Worlds
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Mark

    MT’s choice in hunting attire has been bothering me. Surely they don’t make pink hunting camo for real do they?

    http://camoformal.com/index.php/guys-camo/men-s-vest-pink-snowfall-true-timber.html

  221. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#215): Also having been in the military, I prefer the 24-hour clock as well. But I don’t wear digital; when I got my commission, my father gave me his Swiss pilot’s chronograph — complete with a 24-hour analog dial. I had never seen anything like it before, and rarely since.

    I set the dial to GMT, and rotate the outside adjustable slide to whatever timezone I happen to be in. No battery, and it has to be would every two days.

  222. Der Schnärkïnätör
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#128):
    “Loose coffee quickie” sounds kind of like a dance what [Old Man] Muffaroo has!

    Fixed that for you!

    And get well Muffaroo!

  223. Der Schnärkïnätör
    January 23rd, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#125):

    Sorry you don’t feel well, and I hope you’re better soon, but maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come here and spread all of your germs around!!

  224. Bryan
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    I applaud Mark for shooting with his ultra-rare all-black 1963 Nikkorex in the field rather than being a digital sellout, but the pink glove is just too much.

  225. Hank Scorpio
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121): That which shall not be mentioned is best left that way.

  226. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Bryan (#224): That’s what happens when the colorist gets lazy and uses Microsoft Paint.

  227. Dr. Moreau
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    I’m not nearly as grossed out by what the Flagstons might be doing under the table as I am by the nonchalance with which they throw the word “quickie” around in front of their elementary school-aged children.

  228. Dennis
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @Pyzimber (#57): Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition! hahaha

  229. plainbeliedsneetch
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Once Mark’s friend drops his current paying gig to work for free on a movie no station has expressed interest in, I hope it gets marketed as an inspiring, feel-good film.
    Let disabled kids everywhere realize they can be just like Butch. If they strive hard enough they too can one day work grueling hours in terrible conditions, for a man who views them as little more than instruments and who takes all the fruits of their labors before they have a chance to enjoy them.
    Dream big, kids!

  230. The Ridger
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @Joe (#55): That dog can hunt alright, although in panel 2 he seems to be running in the opposite direction of where that rabbit is Ah, but he’s a bird dog. He should ignore the rabbit.

  231. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#215):

    You can often disorient them by changing the topic.

    Just the other day, as I was walking down the street, a man came up to me and asked me what the time was that was on my watch. And I said “Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? If so, I can’t imagine why – we’ve all got time enough to cry.”

    He punched me in the face and stole my watch, leaving me standing there crying – which is pretty much what I deserved.

  232. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @Bryan (#224): Yikes! He’s caught the dread disease pinkhand!

    @Pyzimber (#57):
    #12: Rainbow Swirl!! AT LAST!!
    #11: “It’s the plumber! I’ve come to fix the sink!”

  233. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    How do we know Hi and Lois aren’t sharing a NESTLE’S QUIKIE®?

  234. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#231): You shoulda just said “It’s 25 or 6 to 4.”

  235. commodorejohn
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#231): I don’t care about time, dammit!

  236. Northernlurker
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    MW: so, finally, a new story arc has emerged. The little Emily and brutish Wayne the kidnapper story has finally wrapped up after, what, a month?
    Look, I get that the daily strip format means “real time” and comic strip time will not necessarily. Sometimes it might take a week’s worth of strips to cover a half hour of action–but MW is bizarre with its filler.
    A story that took Moy and Giella a month to cover, could have been covered in 10 days tops.
    Day 1: Mary sees the poster of Emily; Mary obsesses
    Day 2: Mary returns to the diner; Brutish Wayne bizarrely take his kidnapping victim out for dinner at the diner.
    Day 3: Mary recognized little Emily.
    Day 4: Mary convinces waitress Bree to stall, while she calls police
    Day 5: Bree stalls; Mary calls
    Day 6: Police arrive; Wayne dines and dashes
    Day 7: Wayne arrested; Emily safe with police
    Day 8: Emily restored to family; Mary congratulates herself.
    Did I miss anything?
    Seriously, how do Moy and Giella keep working? Anybody else I know would be cash unemployment cheques if they wasted that much time.
    Oh and maybe the writers of Criminal Minds should have the FBI team find their next psycopathic killer in a diner beside a major hospital. Who knew it could be so easy. What do they need profilers for?

  237. wossname
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#189):

    A couple of years ago I was listening to Car Talk while I was driving somewhere, and they read a list of memorable vanity license plates. One was a plate on an Impala that read “VLAD.” I laughed out loud. Don’t remember any of the other ones.

    That is awesome! But now I’m disappointed I wasn’t the first to think of it. (And yes, my inspiration was seeing an Impala. The car, not the antelope.)

  238. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#209): That’s really good.

  239. wossname
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#211):
    The last time I saw Spark Plug and dear old Barney Google
    They were panhandling at the corner of Bleecker and MacDougal.

    And yes, I was impressed with door hinge/orange.

  240. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#218): Syringe kind of rhymes with orange.

    Barney Google when stabbed with a syringe,
    Squealed and turned all shades of orange
    He squirmed and he flailed
    Then bodaciously wailed
    ‘Cause his toe was caught in a door hinge.

  241. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#238): Well, I enjoyed it. I guess that’s what counts.

  242. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#221): Oh, man! And, of course it has the built in circular slide rule function, no?

  243. Mibbitmaker
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#218): Tonight on Jeopardy….

    Contestant: “I’d like ‘Title solutions’ for $100.”

    Trebek: “The answer is… Hillary Price’s comic strip.”

    Contestant: “What is… door hinge?”

    Trebek: “Correct!”

  244. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Ooh, glad I checked in. Nope, no .22s. Do .38s work the same way?

    You guys are champs. And you’re all really funny when I’m not around. What’s with that?

    Sequitur, I’ll have to find it and scan it. Many years ago, I was operating a word processor in the physics department at UH, and Angetta came by and said I had to draw a dead rat and a dead cockaroach for Ugly Billy’s entry in the upcoming chili cookoff. The roach was just kind of blah, but the rat was so well-done that Ugly Billy (which is what Dr. Mayes preferred to be called) happily accepted mocked-up stationery and a business card with it as well.

    My other U.B. story has me sitting at my CPT, when he came tearing through and said “Gimme a piece of chalk!” He knew, you see, that I kept a box of chalk on hand for professors who were caught short. I proffered the chalk. Instead of taking it, though, he glared at it a moment and then said “Gimme two pieces!” I deftly snapped it in two and handed him both. He hastened away to his class.

    I’m feeling a little better now, Mudges.

  245. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Margo must be beside herself with joy over the thought of going to Minnesota and then South Dakota. If she thinks Hoboken is exciting wait until she encounters the thrill a minute that Minnesota and South Dakota are and they are states much bigger than the city that Hoboken is which means the excitement is greater. She has probably gone into the next room to get drunk or to hang herself over how exciting those states are.

  246. Écureuil Écumant
    January 23rd, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#32): “[Tommie's adoptive parents' ranch] is in South Dakota. Why not fly into Sioux Falls?”

    Actually, I’d rather see Tommie and Ruby fall into Sioux flies. Just so I could hear ‘em sing, “Sioux flies don’t bother me!”

  247. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#244): Everyone needs a good rat story.

    So glad you’re feeling better.

    I got a story of a rat in a fire urinating but you may not feel that well yet to read it.

  248. Écureuil Écumant
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205):

    Your rhyme’s OK, but let’s be frugal;
    instead of strudel, how ’bout kugel?

    Instead of kugel, how ’bout Kegel?
    That oughter tighten ‘Weezy’s bagel!

  249. Trillian
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G: *busy decorating huge “WELCOME TO MINNEAPOLIS, LU ANN AND RUBY!!!” banner*

    Strange little shout-out to a town that doesn’t even carry A3G in the paper.

  250. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#249): And I can’t think of a better time of year to visit Minneapolis.

    They’ll probably get on the wrong plane and end up in the Caymen Islands.

    “Gosh, Ruby! I don’t remember Minneapolis having palm trees in January! This global warming is really bitching!”

  251. Trillian
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#250): Too bad the strip moves at a glacial pace. It was actually quite pleasant a couple weeks ago.

  252. This Guy
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    When people talk about rhymes for “orange,” I usually think of this bit from the old Jacobites:

    What is the rhyme for porringer?
    What is the rhyme for porringer?
    The king he had a daughter fair
    and gave the Prince of Orange her.

    Which I only know about because of Tolkien’s poem “Errantry,” which uses the word “porringer” (a small dish you might eat porridge out of.)

  253. Écureuil Écumant
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#233), et al: The usual expression is more like “We have to spend some time together.” But all your pluviferous talk of sub rosa sploogery brings a marvelous clarity to Lois’ spontaneous ejaculation, “We have to find some time to spend together!”

    That’d be at home anywhere in the pages of The Pearl. And as y’all have noted, their ocular effulgence demonstrates they are indeed spending together.

  254. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#251): Oooh! Did it get all the way up to thirty degrees?

    But I kid. I’ve only been to Minneapolis twice. Once in July where it was quite nice and a second time in early February where the cold, below zero temps and frigid wind froze my tush off (I really liked that tush. I miss it). So I have a perhaps biased view of Minnesota in winter. I’m sure your temp got all the way to thirty-one degrees.

  255. AhClem
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    As a long-time resident of the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, I have often heard that the severe winter weather keeps out the riff-raff.

    I guess today’s A3G blows that theory out of the (frozen) water.

  256. AhClem
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#254): We actually made it to 50 degrees here a couple of days last week, but that’s highly unusual — and much warmer than our normal high in the low 20s.

  257. Baka Gaijin
    January 23rd, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#215): At least you’re not giving the time in “bells.”

    @Écureuil Écumant (#248): Do we really need to be thinking of Weezy’s “bagel” this time of night?

    @Sequitur (#254): Someone turned in that tushie to the Mall of America’s lost and found. Seeing what shape it’s in, you may not want it back.

  258. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#253): “pluviferous”?
    Rain-bearing? One of your own, I’m thinking?

  259. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#257): “Weezy’s Bagel” would make a good name for… wait. No it wouldn’t.

  260. Swordsmith
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    MT: Let me get this straight. Tommy calls Mark in order to get some publicity for his blonde blind hunting dog, because Mark is a magazine journalist. Mark’s response? Direct Tommy to a TV journalist.

    Yep, I guess print really is dead, if even Mark can recognize it.

  261. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#257): Especially since the tushie was lost almost 20 years before the mall opened.

  262. Peanut Gallery
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#240):
    When I hear the phrase “blood orange,”
    I feel a little gore-twinge.

  263. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#171): If I ever get to be queen, I shall have a corgi army.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#209): Most of mine don’t wear watches, either. And I forbid texting in class, of course—and I’ve scolded a couple of hapless kids who were just checking the time. And my rule means that I can’t use my cell phone to keep track of time, either, although I have no aversion to watches (I have one that was my dad’s that I especially like wearing; you don’t get those feelings from a cell phone!).

  264. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#257): @Nehemiah Scudder (#215): At least you’re not giving the time in “bells.”

    I could, you know. It’s a very good system for a ship in the middle of the ocean, such as your hermaphrodite sailing/steamship. (What did you ever do with that thing anyway? Last I heard you were headed for Liechtenstein via the Sargasso Sea and the Isles of Langerhans.) However, for non-maritime use it is even more ambiguous than the civilian AM/PM system. “6 bells”, for instance, could mean 3am, 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, or 11pm.

  265. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#262): I like it! I might use it for a life insurance slogan.

  266. Waz
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    MT: I can’t get past the phrase “He’s impressed by butch” coming from a guy with a pink shirt. And matching pink gloves.

  267. Sequitur
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    By the way, those of you in Minneapolis… do you happen to know Les Block?

  268. Liam
    January 23rd, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#32):

    I would like to see Luann and Margo fly into Sioux Falls but they would probably survive the crash.

  269. True Fable
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    Dear Connie, the enabling Zits mother: Just let Jeremy take an F on the assignment. The little asshole is given every opportunity to do well in life and he just pisses it away. So he forgot to keep a daily journal for English class and didn’t. LET THE KID FLUNK. Maybe that will teach him to be responsible since you and Walt sure as hell aren’t going to.

    See, this is why standard comics irritate the hell out of me.
    /mini rant

  270. Maggie the Cat
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#131): Y’all must be fancier rural-folk than us. Around here it’s The Fox & the Hound method, LOL.

  271. GrafSpee
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

    @Daria Foxendorffer (#152): @This Guy (#162):

    That Medium Large strip is a repeat from August 2005. Not a lot changes in the Mary Worth world.

  272. CanuckDownSouth
    January 23rd, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#269): *sigh* time to go read that old Zits treasury from when Jeremy was a more balanced, semi-responsible view of a teen. And the parents had character… *sigh*

    And may I add to that rant: Let him FLUNK things he doesn’t do before he gets to my college class and is shocked, shocked! to discover that deadlines aren’t mythical creatures of medieval times!! /rant

  273. Dangerous Danny Dumbbutt
    January 24th, 2012 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    Not loving the Hi & Lois art … in the first panel, it looks as if she’s standing in a hole. And gee whiz, lose the huge areas of pure black! Who do you guys think you are, Steve Canyon?

  274. SideshowJon
    January 24th, 2012 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Never has a bunny seemed so ominous….

  275. Sequitur
    January 24th, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

  276. Baka Gaijin
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#261): It looked like a senator got hold of it. I guess he couldn’t wait for a “wide stance.”

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#264): No Lichtenstein. I accidentally drove past it. I think there are Super Walmarts bigger than that country.

    @Sequitur (#275): And what a cute way to lose one’s soul!

  277. Sequitur
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:12 am [Reply]

  278. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#208): @Nehemiah Scudder (#215): I ended up splitting the difference with my own wrist watch. It has an analogue display combined with a small digital inset for the date, time, alarm, and stopwatch. The nice thing about it is that I can set one to local time when I’m traveling, while letting the other stay on “home” time.

  279. ElkMeadow
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    MW Oh, no!!! It’s Emily and her parents. THIS WILL NEVER, EVER END!!! (I’m 55, and unemployed, but I’ll probably find a full-time job and get all my bills paid before this ends.)

    Oh, yeah, two more things–Joe Paterno died. You can quit kicking him now. Shasta’s mom, Shasta’s mom’s boyfriend, and both of Shasta’s brothers were killed. You can quit shamelessly exploiting her rubbing her history in her face.

    RMMD Oh no!!! It’s a book manuscript! And a check to pay for the publishing costs. And after it’s self-published, some publishing house will pick it up, and Rex will be on the book signing tour (Judge Parker, Mike Patterson, Jeff Redfern, Les Moore, and whoever else), AND The Today Show (like Les) and will make tons of money and Mabel will go off and live with Berna and Dexter because they need a live-in maid just to answer the door so they won’t have to leave the television. And Rex didn’t have to do anything buy sign contracts, because Foster left it all to him! And Mabel will shut up because the book is all about her, and it will be too many embarrassing detail for her to want to admit it.

  280. ElkMeadow
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    but sign contracts.

    Preview is your friend, not your proof-reader.

  281. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 24th, 2012 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    @SideshowJon (#274): There’s a reason Anya was terrified of bunnies. (I expect at least half of the ‘Mudgeons here will know who I’m talking about.)

  282. Droopy Says
    January 24th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: I was going to say “If you’d knocked at the front door instead of breaking through a skylight, you wouldn’t have got punched in the face.” Then I realized this was Peter Putzer. so he would have got punched in the face anyway. But at least the other hand wouldn’t be holding a bill for skylight repair.

    St. Mary of Charterstone: It’s the Three Magi! And they just delivered Mary’s beatific glow! Now what’s in the bag? Frankincense, myrrh and salmon squares? Wayward Wayne’s head?

    Mock Trail: The reason Butch can find the jacket has nothing to do with good traing. It has to do with Tommy’s poor toilet training. A cat would scrape dirt over that jacket and walk away.

    Crock and Shoe: Both of them are about as funny as they ever get, which is surely the subtlest possible sign of the Apocalypse.

    Creepy Les: The Lady Scapegoats make a basket. Westviewians look happy. Up next, Coach Bullhead has a heart attack. In solidarity the team loses the game. He would have wanted it that way!

    Cranky: Another ‘mudge called this a couple of days ago. Of course Cranky will end up at an award ceremony, where he’ll find a whole crowd of people to irritate.

  283. Dale
    January 24th, 2012 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#263):

    Don’t classrooms have clocks anymore?
    If NO, why? Economics or some modern educational philosophy?

  284. anon
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    9CL: Dang. I am SO enjoying the Nicolette Cignet Collection! This one is my favorite so far, no snark intended. If there were paper dolls available, I’d buy a book for myself.

  285. John C Fremont
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#281): Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunniiiees!

    Or maybe midgets.

    MW – A good deed is not exclusively its own reward. Apparently, there’s also a gift basket.

    GT – “Hard to argue with the Bible.”
    “Or with Cortez Beecher!”
    “Yeah. Hey, did you see the size of his right hand?”
    “Well, you now what they say about guys with big hands.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Freaks of nature, man.”

  286. Little A.
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    MW: barf.

  287. gleeb
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    Dick: The set-up with Cueball was more interesting. Now it’s just going to be “Don’t call me Putty Puss”, old pop songs, and death.

    ‘bean: Coach Ann’s magical olde-timey plays work! Nobody had to get a tattoo or anything. Actually, this strip is pretty good. It conveys what it wants to, and there’s no damn smirking. Betcha he can’t do it twice in the same month, though.

    Gil: Yes! I know Cortez “Henry Ward” Beecher would object on Old testament grounds!

    Parkerville: C’mon! We gotta get our story straight before some snoopy US Attorney blows the lid off this crooked little town.

    Mary: “In our culture, when you recuse a child, you must clean that child’s laundry. Here.”

    Phantom: He also means to report that they pirate ninja movies.

  288. gleeb
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#287): Only two spelling errors. Not bad for having been awake less than an hour.

  289. Little A.
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#264): When I was young and traveling all over with my Eurail Pass, I took a ferry to the Isle of Langerhans. They’ve got a nice little museum (free admission in those days) and some nice sidewalk cafes. I sent some postcards home (one nice of of the Prince’s castle, which has a little sign on the front door, Eintritt Verboten! I though that this meant, please knock before entering! But I soon found out that it means, please wipe your shoes on the mat).

  290. Der Schnärkïnätör
    January 24th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Little A. (#289):
    Actually “Eintritt Verboten!” translates literally to “Entrance Forbidden!”, or more simply “Keep Out!”.

  291. Big Bad Dave
    January 24th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    A little publicity would help. Yes, I can see that. “And now on Stupid Pet Tricks, a blind hunting dog whose amazing skills can’t prevent it from running into a tree, falling into a lake and being run over by a truck.”

  292. Crafty
    January 29th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @Rimrock (#22): I was going to comment that there are no ranches anywhere near Minneapolis, but yeah, I suppose there are in South Dakota. And there are many airports much closer to SD than the Minneapolis one.

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