The Comics Curmudgeon

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Ultra-bitchy Saturday

Mary Worth and Apartment 3-G, 10/20/07

OH SNAP DR. DREW GOT SERVED AGAIN BY HIS OTHER GIRLFRIEND! See, this is the advantage of dating an older woman: instead of violently lashing out when she’s wronged, she just slips some stilleto-sharp barb right between your emotional ribs. Drew, Vera’s tough because she’s had to endure things you can’t even imagine. Did you know she used to be rich and now she’s not? And then she had to get a job? Clearly she’s not to be trifled with.

On an unrelated note, I’m a little unsettled by Vera’s throw pillows being the exact same awful orange color as he sofa. They’re supposed to complement the piece of furniture, not blend in as if they’re hiding from predators.

The contrast between Vera’s steely, several-weeks-post-breakup resolve and Margo’s floundering hostility is instructive. Obviously our still conspicuously non-engaged gal Magee is not holding things together as well as she’d like us to believe, and Ruby’s little smile shows she knows who has the upper hand in this confrontation. Still, now that Margo has arbitrarily decided that Ruby is her enemy, she can’t back down, so this should be a gloriously amusing conflict. Perhaps she’ll lasso a heartbroken Gina into some sort of Axis of Insensitive Brunette Evil.

Gil Thorp, 10/20/07

Faithful reader Virginia deserves credit for noting the resemblance between this obviously bad news dude (torn-off sleeves? torn-off sleeves?) and Mary Worth’s legendary Tommy the Tweaker. Whether or not he’s an incompetent meth dealer, I’m going to guess that ponytail guy is going to lead poor, vulnerable, prone-to-violence Cully down the wrong path (I mean, torn-off sleeves? Seriously?). In the end, we’ll learn a valuable lesson, which will either be that youthful offenders need to be integrated back into society as quickly as possible to avoid recidivism, or that there is no hope whatsoever for youthful offenders and they need to be put into a dark hole from which they’ll never be able to get out.

I appreciate Cully’s perfectly triangular sandwich in panel one. Does he get his lunch from OCD Deli?

Dick Tracy, 10/20/07

I don’t want to cast aspersions on the intelligence level of the average American, but I’m willing to bet that more people in this country know the name of Britney Spears’ ex-husband than the name of the current governor of the state they live in; therefore, any town in which Dick Tracy and the governor are “celebrities” has got to be either the best educated municipality in America or the most boring (probably both, actually). Still, the managers of this bizarre charity event are right to think that getting the trigger-happy Detective Tracy involved will attract media attention. The banner headline in the local paper the next morning will no doubt read something like “DETECTIVE MISTAKES GOVERNOR FOR GHOST, SHOOTS HIM 148 TIMES”.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 20, 2007 at 03:05 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Dick Tracy, Gil Thorp, Mary Worth.

316 responses to “Ultra-bitchy Saturday”

Dingo
October 20th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

G’head, Josh!!! Cast aspersions!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 20th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

I can name the governor of Michigan. Because she’s from CANADA!
Hank
October 20th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

RE: Juggs Parker. I am very disturbed that Rusty may soon take her leave of the strip. Those Barretto rendered breasts of injustice have become my two favorite comic strip characters.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 20th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Fun fact: That makes two governors of U.S. states who once appeared on The Dating Game.
heartbacon
October 20th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Judging from the blank, souless expression on the face of that cop in panel two of Dick Tracy, I totally thought that “All the town’s celebrities” would be followed by “are belong to us.”
K.T. Slager
October 20th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

God, what a horrendous cell-phone in Dick Tracy’s hideously deformed hand.

Wow, my first comment here! Hey y’all!
Hank
October 20th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

RE: Dick Tracy. I realize that Dick Tracy has always been a strip that showed a bit of a sci-fi angle to its crime fighting (e.g., two way wrist radios, Moon Maidens, etc.), but I am a bit surprised to see that the Police Chief is apparently a fembot.

Every time we see her, she stands in the exact same, largely immobile, position, with the same blank expression. I would have thought she was a statue but today the writers showed that her arm could be positioned to hold a phone up to her ear.
Lemmy Caution
October 20th, 2007 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Hey, what happened to Dick Tracy’s two-way wrist tv? He used to be ahead of the curve communications technology-wise. Now he’s just using an ordinary clamshell cell phone, and a badly-drawn one at that.
Jemmy
October 20th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

#1 Skullturf– not ever having paid much attention to Granholm (until the state nearly came to a halt), I thought you were joking. Wow. I have learned so many new things on this blog!
Mollie
October 20th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

“It’s about to suck even more to be you” is the best Gil Thorp comeback ever. It’s even more awesome than the fact that this new guy thinks it’s empathetic to say “sucks to be you” to someone who once inadvertently killed a friend.

I’m wondering about emphasis in Vera’s panel-two dialogue. My impulse would be to read it with the emphasis on “I’ll,” as in “…but I’ll get over it.” But it kind of looks like the whole clause is italicized: “but I’ll get over it.” So is it an immature insult, or a steely resolution to move on? It seems like she forgot to close her mental “italics” html tag.

Speaking of tags, I’m mesmerized by the unnecessary addressing-each-other-by-name going on in panel 1 of A3G. The only thing I can figure is that Ruby and Tommie are playing “Ignore the Grumpy Margo,” the standard household method of coping with Margo’s morning crankiness, and so they need to make it very clear that their remarks are not addressed to her. They’ll include Margo in their conversation when she’s ready to behave like a grown-up and stop making wild threats and unfounded claims of romantic and business success.

I also love that the long-haired ladies of A3G sleep with their hair tied up in rags. How adorably retro.
kingklash
October 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

“Perfectly triangular sammiches, all the better to kill you with. If I wan’t so busy looking all forlorn at them. *sniff* My buddy used to make them like this for me, before I snapped him in two like a frozen dog!“
Taquelli
October 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Josh obviously wasn’t counting the great state of California, because everyone here know the Governator. I don’t believe that counts, however, seeing as he was once a celebrity on his own right. He was Mr. Mom!
OverCat
October 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Well, since I live in California, my governor really is a celebrity. For what that’s worth.

Cully’s been in “Flashdance”?

And thank g.. – um, whomever – Skullturf is okay! I was afraid you’d suffered a fate worse than death – been “zotted” away into B.C. land forever.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 20th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Vera’s couch–blatantly disgusting alert–is roughly the same color as the piss you take after too much beer and greasy bar snacks. I think it’s a mood enhancing couch. It accounts for Vera’s perpetually balled-up fists.
Steve™
October 20th, 2007 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

I’m inclined to think that ponytail guy isn’t so much a reformed trouble maker as much as he is a time traveller… from a distant future with fashions and hairstyles far beyond our comprehension.
Michael
October 20th, 2007 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Speaking of hideously deformed hands (they do kind of jump out as being weirdly foot-shaped, don’t they), everybody’s hands in that strip is bizarre. The Governor appears to have kind of a Davy Jones-like crab claw instead of a hand, and the Hitlerjugend lady’s fingers appear actually to have merged with her phone.

Why is the Hitlerjugend sponsoring a haunted house, anyway? I’ve never really understood Dick Tracey.
OverCat
October 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

12 Taquelli – Jinx!

And it looks like Cully carved his sandwich out of Dick Tracy’s chin. Is there no end to his reign of terror?
LeahDanger
October 20th, 2007 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

And in other news, Harvey Dent was elected governor.
Phoebe
October 20th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

It’s strange to think that CIA detectives are really not that different from the idiotic teenagers in every bad horror flick ever made.
LTBF
October 20th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Bob Riley and Kevin Federline.
Red Greenback
October 20th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

As promised from yesterthread-I used an appropriately hideous color combo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/1659196349/
Perky Bird
October 20th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Jamus, from yesterthread

I’m glad you took no offense at my parody of your work! Sure, if you want to include it in your blog, go ahead!
Aaron T.
October 20th, 2007 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

#12 Taquelli: Michael Keaton is your governor?
LTBF
October 20th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

I think hr means the movie where Ted Kennedy’s nephew-in-law was pregnant.
Nate
October 20th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Hand? I thought Dick Tracy had acquired some kind of freak, malformed midget, who holds the phone to Dick’s ear with his feet.

A hobbit, perhaps?
Remus
October 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

Nice Red, way to come thru on that. Now : WILL IT BE MADE INTO A SHIRT OR will we all just have to pay 28.50 to have it made at t-shirts.com or some such place. Josh?

Y’know Red – it seems to me you might want to take one of your old song parodies and print it on the back and sell ‘em yourself…with a kickback for Mr Fruhlinger of course. That would be extra sweet.
Nate
October 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

The Governor looks like Bob Uecker, and his hand is one of the monsters from Tremors.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 20th, 2007 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

I just found out the current governor of Missouri was born in 1970!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_current_United_States_Governors

Also, the mayor of Pittsburgh is incredibly young — he was born in 1980!!
Weaselboy
October 20th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

So, since you’re not yet over it, Vera, would you like to have sex tonight?
Jordan
October 20th, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

“Sucks to be you?”

Considering that he’s eating his lunch in the men’s room, apparantly sitting on a urinal, I’d say that’s a fair estimate.
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

#327 Denis Jimez, #328 Dingo yesterthread – I, for one, have a reservation on the Rapture Express, but after seeing who else is on the list, I’m considering sticking around at least for the Last Days, if only to put off having to spend eternity with Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson as long as possible.
Sjofn
October 20th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Just popping in to repeat for the eleventy billionth time that Michael Patterson is a giant, self-centered douche. I bet he tastes like salad dressing.
Trevor
October 20th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Who knew Two-Face quit working Batman so he could run for governor in Dick Tracy?
BlinkAndItsOver
October 20th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

GT: “I just wanted to tell you I’ve been where you were.” Great, Ponytail McTornsleeves wants to reminisce with Cully about the great state of Oregon. This will be exciting. An entire week of strips on the malls and burger joints of Eugene.
heartbacon
October 20th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

…Ok, seriously, that’s not supposed to be Two-Face? I don’t pay any attention to Dick Tracy, so I my reaction to seeing that panel was, “Wow, I didn’t know DT did crossovers with Batman! Sweet!”

… I don’t know how to process this.
Rusty
October 20th, 2007 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

GT: That’s not a sandwich, that’s a sample of floor tile. Cully Vale is just that tough.
Jamus The Bartender
October 20th, 2007 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

8. Cassandra Cat lifted it off of me during the Tarzana Night’s re-fueling stop in Averyville, Lemmy. She’d do stuff guys usually pay five bucks a minute for, Visa or Mastercard.
CHris
October 20th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised there was no comment here about today’s Funky Winkerbean… specifically the first frame wherein Les speaks with Summer, in what is surely supposed to be a heartfelt moment… but for some odd reason, it seems from his pose that he is doing ‘the robot’.
Desert Jeff
October 20th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

#28. Thanks to Skullturf’s link, I’ve learned that I would totally bang the governor of Alaska…

…but not the governor of Delaware.
Deschanel
October 20th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

WHO IS THE HAIRY DWARF HOLDING THE PHONE UP TO DICK TRACY’S HEAD?!

Sorry for shouting, but CREEPed here!

And how cool is it that they’ve got Fembots on the police force?
Brown-eyed Girl
October 20th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

Josh — Bwahahaha! Maybe Vera’s throw pillows are afraid Dick Tracy will shoot them 148 times.

6. Hi K.T.
Baka Gaijin
October 20th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: Two comments: Is Cully Nancy’s big brother? Look at the hair and expressions.

Cully’s refrigerator must be a portal to the deli in a Universe grocery store in Japan. Their wedges are about 2 inches thick, crustless, and perfectly triangular sandwiches, too. These sandwiches are very common. Other grocery and convenience stores also sell them. Japanese learn geometry as they eat!
BigTed
October 20th, 2007 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

Of course the governor has time to spend an entire night partying at the Old Haunted Hennessy Mansion — which I assume is one of those scary houses people set up for Halloween. He’s obviously finished dealing with every one of his state’s problems, judging from his immaculately empty desk.
Baka Gaijin
October 20th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

#21 Red: Great design. Perfect for ‘Mudges who want to be ironic yet not stand out from the “comics-ly challenged” crowd.
Islamorada Girl
October 20th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

DT’s governator looks as if someone took a giant bite out of his jaw. Maybe he has a pol-eating telephone.

* * *

Steel cage wrasslin’ match: Margo vs. Vera on the card. Who wins?
Dean Booth
October 20th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

FC: There’s no place like house.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Tabby and True!
Proteus
October 20th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Thanks to Desert Jeff’s comment about Skullturf’s link I learned that the oh-so-bangable governor of Alaska has four children who are named:

Track

Bristol

Willow

and Piper

Which are all great names for the next Gil Thorpe story line, but which totally rule her out as being a plugger. Sorry ‘gov!
Krohmdohm
October 20th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Let me add to the chorus of those who think Mr Greenback’s Bum Boat design would make for a welcome addition to any wardrobe
StrangeRover
October 20th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Vera’s pillows are not hiding from predators… they are predators!
Wanders
October 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

MW: Vera’s shadow literally leaps off the wall and sits up in mid-air to say to Drew’s shadow over the phone’s shadow, “You call yourself a shadow? You’re nothing but a blur, you two-timing penumbra!”
Reynard Noir.
October 20th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

I was going to mock the Dick Tracy Valkyre Policewoman Of Passing Along A Message On The Phone for being stiff, lifeless, robotlike, and looking like she’s made of some kind of weather-sealant putty, but then I remembered that this is Dick Tracy, so she probably IS made of some kind of weather resistant putty.

So I’ll just mock here for being stiff, lifeless, robotlike. Ha ha!
K. Ivan Ruppert
October 20th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Whatever city Dick Tracy lives in is apparently quite progressive, as they seem to have elected notorious Gotham crime boss Two-Face as their govenor. I guess in a world with such vile, violent criminals and where 60% of people are born with horrible disfigurations, such things matter little in public office.
evie oh oh
October 20th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

“if dick tracy will do it, so will I” That is probably the most dangerous statment ever made. The street will be lined with scalded bodies tonight.
Atomic Bird
October 20th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

DT Panel 2: Policewomanbot would be more realistic if she didn’t have that rectangular lever sticking out of the side of her head. I wonder what happens when she pulls on it like that.
The Restless Mouse
October 20th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

I think this Dick Tracy thread should end “… And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you nosy local celebrities!”

BTW Note to self: 148 is a funny number
Tony
October 20th, 2007 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Ah, yes, the OCD Deli. Where the employees must wash their hands exactly 71 times after using the restroom.
Uncle Balustrade
October 20th, 2007 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy: I’m rather concerned by the fact that the governor seems to have just snorted an entire eight-ball of coke at once. Will his decisons be proper?
Uncle Balustrade
October 20th, 2007 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

“decisions” “sniff”
dyslexic dog
October 20th, 2007 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

On Utra-bitchy Saturday, we are treated to a view of the police chiefbot wearing a patch on her sleeve bearing the image of DT making his best Noh mask face.
Zzz
October 20th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

The governor of my state is named Bill Ritter. I don’t know if he goes to the Bucket.
Lemmy Caution
October 20th, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

37. Thanks for the explanation, Jamus. Though I would have thought Diet Smith would have come up with a better way of replacing Tracy’s stolen two-way wrist tv than to send a over a midget to hold a conventional cell phone to his ear.

Incidentally, I should point out that the FemBot that so many people have commentend on is actually Policewoman Lizz [No Last Name], who’s been part of the Tracy Squad since 1955, but who was recently promoted to Chief of Police, one presumably because Tracy himself, who would for reasons of seniority alone have had a lock on the gig, turned it down, so that he could continue his life’s work of dealing out dramatically ironic mayhem to various grotesquely deformed thugs, instead of doing paperwork and schmoozing city officials.
Jamus The Bartender
October 20th, 2007 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Comics Curmudgeon Memo
To: The Celebrity Haunted House
From : Jamus The Bartender
Greetings.
Rumor has it through the internets grapevine that a celebrity haunted house event of some kind is being planned, and that Dick Tracy, for some strange reason, is being invited.
Damn.
Well, your reasons for inviting a man who is simultaneously an American treasure and one of comic’s most dangerous psychopaths, are strictly your own, and none of my business. As we say in the bartending business, “it’s your funeral.”
Might I , however, as a friend of Detective Tracy’s, offer some advice?
One. Any and all guns, knives, ropes, garrotes….anything with a sharp edge MUST be put under lock and key.
Two. Update your life , health, home, auto insurance immediately.
Three. Keep an ample supply of grain alcohol and prune juice at the bar at all times. Ten cases of each should get you by.
Four. When making small talk, avoid references to the following. Criminals, criminals who are people of color, Latinos, Asians, women, the Internal Affairs department of the police, family members, dead or living, Bill Clinton, Hilary Clinton, Janet Reno…no, wait, he’s cool with her.
Cindy Sheehan, Nancy Pelosi, and the entire city of San Francisco.
Oh, and Eskimos. Dick HATES Eskimos.
Five: Do NOT let Dick borrow or otherwise operate an internal combustion-powered vehicle. If he offers to demonstrate something called a “screen test”, politely, but firmly refuse.
Six: Dick likes to drink. Do NOT get into any drinking contests with him. Especially if you are an attractive female between 18-70.
Seven: Do not mention the fact that a lot of people think the governor resembles Two-Face of the Batman comics, unless you want to deal with a lot of broken windows and injuries due to defenstration.
Eight: Keep a ten foot empty space between yourself and the detective at all times.
I think that’s it. If Dick gets out of hand, please contact me via this website, I can be found on board the Tarzana Nights, either at the bar, or locked in my stateroom until this ill-advised celebrity “haunted house” comes to a close.
May God Help You.
Jamus T Bartender
Jamus The Bartender
October 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

61. No problem Lemmy. Truthfully, I would have figured, given Dick’s proclivites, he would have found a way to make a combination cellphone-tv/taser/gin flask.
MrP
October 20th, 2007 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

Lots of scary art in this Dick Tracy strip. There’s the governor, who only seems to have half a mouth, or some sort of mask covering the lower left side of his face.
Then there’s the woman in panel two, whom I’m pretty sure is a replicant or android of some sort, due to her general looks, and the fact that she’s either just stabbed her ear with her phone, or her phone is part of her, and she just pulls it out of the side of her head to speak.
And finally there’s the aforementioned freaky midgetlike hand/foot holding the phone to Dick’s ear, while the Dick himself seems to be in the middle of taking the best dump EVER.
Harold
October 20th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

CHEAP SWIPE AT LAWYERS ALERT:

I’m not entirely clear on how Rusty in Judge Parker is a “disgrace to her profession.” Because she got caught? Because she wasn’t lying creatively enough? Because she bust into tears when Buzz Mullethead yelled at her?
Harold
October 20th, 2007 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

That creepy kid in Gil Thorp transforms from a 15-year-old girl to a 47-year-old gas station attendant/roofer/roadie in just three panels. Weird.

I can’t believe nobody’s jumped on the “I blew it” dialogue between Rex and Niki today. Must be in the comments to a previous post…
Chloe The Cat
October 20th, 2007 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

Great meeting with the Carolina Mudges!
Lynn J.
October 20th, 2007 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

My Dearest Fable,

Love is foisting your work of genius on your comatose, near-dead loved ones, using small, patronizing words in case they’ve lost brain function. This is the love I bear you.

Adoringly yours,

Lynnie J.
Joe Blevins
October 20th, 2007 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

That cutoff sleeves guy is lying. He’s never been where Cully was. Look at those noodly arms of his; there’s NO way he could throw a “friend” across the lawn snapping his spinal cord like a breadstick. I mean look at the dude. He looks like he accidentally wandered into Milford from “ElfQuest.”

Meanwhile, in panel one, Cully’s befuzzled brain is trying to work out a confoundingly complex geometry problem: How can I fit this delicious triangular sammitch into my tiny parallelagram mouth in one bite? Poor Cully’s been mashing the sammitch futilely against his lips for 20 minutes now. “C’mon, sammitch, get in my mouth!”
JJ Brannon
October 20th, 2007 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

Josh, you know the Eastern Shore has an entire State attached to it.

Baltimore proper has nearly 700,000 residents while Greater Metropolitan Baltimore — Baltimore Improper — has around 2.5 million.

The entire State of Delaware has only 850,000.

Everyone here knows Governor Ruth Ann — she’ll personally come to your house to show you how to cook barbecue or invite you to hers.

One question: why is Lois of Hi and Lois not concerned about her brother’s potential deployment to Iraq?

JJB
Pig In A Bucket
October 20th, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy was played today by Nelson Stool and his Stubby Index Finger (tappin’ out it’s code)
Genetic_Mishap
October 20th, 2007 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

I remember Jim Davis once saying that a letter writing campaign was launched against him when he had Garfield say the word “sucked”.

I say we do the same to GT. I will not have the language of America’s youth corrupted, goddammit.
Champ
October 20th, 2007 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Judging by the size of the hand in the last panel, Dick Tracy clearly has hired a midget to handle menial tasks such as holding the phone for him.
Rainbird
October 20th, 2007 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

(WT)DT So after weeks of looking at Gretched, I thought that Tess looked odd, so I looked up the last time she had appeared, at the start of the Baron story, and check it out, she already has this halloween gig planned out, I guess, and she says to meet her in Califonria. Is that where Tracy lives? Is that where she was going?

What happened to that plot? Or is this the plot now?

Oh, for Moon Mainden.
Plinko Commie
October 20th, 2007 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

Has anyone else noticed that every time Gwampa Jim strokes out, it’s around the time something big is happening with Michael’s book? The paperback release is going to be the kill shot.

Oh yes, Iris, Gwampa’s smiling because you’re talking down to him and flat-out insulting him (IS ANYONE HOME?) while Michael’s getting himself hard to the paid-for recommendations on the back cover (all ghost written by Elly). He’s probably thinking of showing you how happy he is using his military training. For that matter, so am I, and I make Beetle Bailey look like MacArthur.
M-life
October 20th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

MW: Be careful, Drew! Vera’s obviously been taking lessons from Mark Trail’s Fist Of Justice.
True Fable
October 20th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Lynnie Baby,

Love means never having to read Stone Season.

Truman A. Fable
Critic-At-Large
Asshat-by-Nature
King Folderol
October 20th, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

DT – Keep in mind that it would probably be easier to get the governor for a lame-ass charity event like a “haunted house” than it would be to get K-Fed.

(DT) GT – Who wears torn shirts anymore? Even the white trash characters in Mark Trail have the decency to cover their white shirts with coveralls.
The Avocado Avenger
October 20th, 2007 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

#6 KT – I think Dick’s got a little person as a personal assistant, and he’s leaning down so the assistant can hold the phone for him so he doesn’t have to. At least, that’s what I made up in my mind, where everything has an explanation and the faces in Gil Thorp are no longer scary.

#65 Harold – Were those tears? I was afraid Rusty was reeling after having been hit by Ponytail McWrinkleface.
Splinky
October 20th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

So Dick Tracy and the governor are going to spend the night in a haunted mansion. For charity. How does that work? Other than the whole charity aspect, isn’t that pretty much the setup for The Shining? I can only hope that next spring we find Dick Tracy holding an axe and thawing in the hedge maze!
Krazy Kat
October 20th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

FOOB-After reading todays FBOFW I have resolved to be nicer to my wife so maybe when I’m old and stroked out, when I can hear but can’t die, maybe she won’t spend all day everyday in my room torturing me with “Krazy, can you hear me, is anyone home, do you know who I am….blah blah blah.”
Krazy Kat
October 20th, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

PS- I had a blast meeting Chloe the Cat and williethompson today!!
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Okay, so is anyone else thinking of a Pink Floyd “Nobody Home” parody with regards to today’s execrable FOOB? Dammit, every time I get a good idea the words just won’t come…can one of the better parodists here take a crack at it?
MamaBeck
October 20th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

So … Grandpa Jim is “home.” As in FC and Dolly and dear old Mrs. Cox?
Allie Cat
October 20th, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

FW – The cat on Summer’s shirt looks a little like Cassandra. A shout out to us? We dare to dream!

FOOB – I’m sure I can’t add anything to what has already been said. While you were snarking, I was busy abusing the open bar at a wedding. I didn’t have time to drink on my own wedding day, so I had to make up for lost time.
Groovymarlin
October 20th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Funky Cancerbean: Sometimes Batiuk confuses me, like when he draws Les in the strange, unnatural position we see in panel 1. His arms look all wrong! On the other hand, I find myself forgiving him when I see the OBVIOUS Cassandra Cat shout-out on Summer’s shirt. Awesome!

FOOB: I bet Johnston thinks she’s really some hero, giving us a detailed, sensitive portrayal of Iris in these strips. Look at the loving attention to detail in the face! Meanwhile, the rest of us look at her and wonder, “When did Grandpa Jim marry Mr. Potatohead’s ugly cousin?”
CrabbyGenes
October 20th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

THE MARK TRAIL POLKA
(tune: Beer Barrel Polka)

Talking potatoes
And transgendered ducks are such fun
We like Mark Trail
He’s got our blues on the run
Recycled drawings
Creatures that talk out their butts
We confess we love Mark Trail
And you can call us nuts!

There’s a forest, name of Lo-Fo
Only happy creatures live there
And there’s frogs and fish and birds there
And there’s always giant squirrels there
Baby ducks are powder-blue there
And the bad guys all have face-hair
When Mudgies read the comic
We all get in the swing!

Every time we see that old “Quack-Ahhh”
We all know we’ve found our Shangri La
And then weird grammar fills the air
“You stole a friend of mine’s pet bear”
Then we hear a rolling on the floor
It’s the big surprise we’re waiting for
The ball of Jackelrod is king
And of the Trails we start to sing!

Rusty’s a weirdo
And Cherry’s a bit creepy too
Molly’s the best bear
Anywhere outside a zoo
Then there’s Mark Trail
The ultimate grown-up Boy Scout
Trail with his fists of justice
Our man without a doubt!
Rainbird
October 20th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

87 CrabbyGenes Thank You. I had to sing it out loud to get the meter right, and I always knew it as “Roll out the Barrel,” but, whatever. Cool. You’ll give Paperback Rhifler a run for his money.

How is the teaching going?
OverCat
October 20th, 2007 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

83 commodore john – no, but I do keep thinking of “Comfortably Numb”. Definitely a parody there, someone else will probably come up with it before I can manage to.
True Fable
October 20th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

#87 CrabbyGenes – Brava! An’ a one, an’ a two -

My favorite lines are
“Every time we see that old “Quack-Ahhh”
We all know we’ve found our Shangri La
And then weird grammar fills the air
“You stole a friend of mine’s pet bear”

Those really crack me up!
CrabbyGenes
October 20th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

#88 Rainbird. Thank you. I had great fun writing it, I must confess. (And singing it as I drove to and from school!) Teaching is going fine; thanks for asking!
CrabbyGenes
October 20th, 2007 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

#90 True Fable. Thank you to you too!:-)
Phoebe
October 20th, 2007 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

#87 – Bravo, Crabby!

Bwahaha, Cassanda is everywhere! She spreads, a deadly commercial phenomenon… Not unlike Audrey II.
Phoebe
October 20th, 2007 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

*Make that Cassandra. Accursed keyboard has foiled me again.
bats :[
October 20th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Everybody….POLKA!!!
Red Greenback
October 20th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

CrabbyGenes; ah wunnerful, ah wunnerful. It’s a good songuhnum for-a the banduminum, it’s got a goud beat, and Bobby & Cissy can dance to it.
Poteet
October 20th, 2007 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

# 87 — Nicely done, Crabby!

DT — In a world where TV crime shows insist on dragging in social relevance (domestic abuse, identity theft, drug trafficking), it’s inspiring to see that DT courageously continues to focus on the really important issue — BATSHIT INSANITY! And to pull off this haunted-mansion gig, the level of DT batshit insanity will have to be kicked up several notches. You can do it, DT! We know you can!
Rusty
October 20th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

#65: JP: Speaking as an attorney, I would like to see more “disgraces to the profession” if they looked like that. The profession needs more hotties with sweater meat and less fusty old white guys.
Girl Reporter
October 20th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Holy Moly! Summer is wearing a Cassandra Cat t-shirt!
MeBert Uearnie
October 20th, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

…Lynn Johnston owes me a new keyboard.
Rainbird
October 20th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s Mary Worth When Drew began the conversation he had the marlin t-shirt. Now, he has nothing on the front (although the coloring faries are keeing the pillows the same color as the sofa, so there is a bit of continuity going on.
Rainbird
October 20th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

MeBert Uearnie 100 Why does Lynn owe you a new keyboard? Is it because you
a) threw up on it
b) beat your head on it in frustration?
c) spilled your coffee as you reached to move to another comic rather than read it again?
d) none of the above
Daktari
October 20th, 2007 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

I know this is “Off Topic”, so please forgive me, but a few weeks ago there was a great discussion about gourmet chocolates, and where to find and order them. If someone could please link me to the discussion pages or the sites themselves, I would really appreciate it. I need a gift for a “special someone” who loves chocolate and I wish I had paid more attention at the time it was being discussed.
I thank you all for giving me a laugh every day, (even if the comics don’t), and although I do not contribute to the general discussion very much, I want you to know that I look forward to the dissection of A3G, MW, FOOB, RMMD, JP, FW, and all the rest. Someday I hope there will be, and I can attend, a national CC convention.
Tweeks_Coffee
October 20th, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

GT: Oh, so that is supposed to be a male then. I was quite confused, particularly by the obvious presence of breasts in the second panel. Of course gender confused aliens is nothing new to this strip, but this seems to be a particularly egregious case.
CrabbyGenes
October 20th, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

Sunday Foob. Good grief. Is this Lynn Johnston’s fantasy way of getting SOME kind of apology from her cheating husband?

I remember the reprinted portion of this comic from one of the early FBOFW books in my collection. How creepy and prophetic it turned out to be.
bats :[
October 20th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Sunday funneees!

FW: I’ll be danged. Another sweet strip (two in a row!). I don’t know if the trend can continue, but I can always hope.

JP: “You’re nothing but a shyster with a law degree!” Geez, Keith, lay off the wine — you’re a candidate for heading the Department of Redundancy Department.
Knives! Broken bottles! Flying boobs! Sometimes you just wish the Sunday comics could be twice as long!

MT: I was a wee bit disappointed not to have the Homer story-arc continue (and what Shirley will it be?), but it was fabulous to have such a famous celebrity visiting with Mark today…

MW: things are looking grim for Drew — even the marlin has forsaken him (then again, during the course of the conversation, Vera’s managed to change from a red top, black slacks and a hip white belt into a purple polo shirt and jeans. I won’t even speculate on her mark of Cain. If this goes on much longer, maybe she can get the couch reupholstered…).

FOOB: Is this an old strip? A new strip worked in the old fashion? LJ going around the bend?
Lady, step away from the pens and the drawing board. Go to Belize and practice your Spanish. Go to Taco Bell and practice your Spanish. Just go. Please.
In the meantime:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/1665253592/
Emily
October 20th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Am I the only person who actually wants Vera to forgive Drew?

Oh I mean–ha ha, capri pants!

But actually her outfit’s kind of not that bad either.
True Fable
October 20th, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Well, I have to hand it to her. Lynn’s got balls. You know it had to take some cajones to even look at that strip again, much less run it with everyone and their dog knowing your business.

My sympathies, Lynnie.

You’re still a piss-ant for Saturday’s bullshit, though, just in case you got the mistaken idea that I’m in your corner. I’m not, it’s just that I’ve dealt with a cheating shit too.

Just a tip, though? Don’t be surprised if your family speaks demeaningly to you when you’re on your deathbed if you don’t respond to them as you used to do when you were healthy. Yeah, you might want to look back over a LOT of your old strips, Lynn. Open those baby blues a little wider, chickie.
bats :[
October 20th, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

107. Emily: I wouldn’t mind seeing the two of them together. I think Drew really does prefer Vera to Dawn, and is actually hurting (albeit in the traditional, stilted Mary Worth style). I also think Vera’s pulling the classic villain pitfall — Talking Too Much. The conversation is going on and on, with her quoting hack writers (Michael Patterson?). If she wants to break it off once and for all, all she needs is three little words: Get fucked, Drew.
dreadedcandiru2
October 20th, 2007 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

#108 : True Fable — She has ever bigger cojones for tellig the guy from the Chicago Tribune that she selected this at random and it has nothing to do with her divorce proceedings. The sad thing is that the two-legged sheep at Coffee Squawk are gonna believe that just like they believe that she deserves a Pulitzer for showing us how caring and attentive to Jim the Passivesons are or that she has a surveillance camera in their kitchen.
commodorejohn
October 20th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

#89 OverCat – Thank you, that was easier to work with.

Hello, is anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?

C’mon, now, we know you’re feeling down,
Maybe this will ease your pain:
Michael’s brought his book again!

Speak up, we need your answer first
Just the basic facts -
Do you think that it’s the worst?

They have no brains, can’t hear me pleading
A distant fit-storm on the horizon
When I tell him it’s a pain
His lips move, but he won’t hear what I’m saying
When I was his age, I fought the Nazis
These hands fought for right in World War Two
Now I’m lying here on a bedpan,
I cannot stand the treacle from this man,
His narcissistic clan

I have become uncomfortably dumb

Okay, yet more of the thick prick
I hear your Aaaaaaaaaah
Why’s it make you feel sick?

Can you speak up? I’m hoping it is working – good!
That’ll keep you going for the show
Michael, your reading! Go!

They have no brains, can’t hear me pleading
A distant fit-storm on the horizon
This vapid twit is just a pain
His lips move, and feces fills what he’s saying
When I was his age, I raised a family,
Took time off to spend with my kids,
I see this jerk in years to come, he’s ever working on his book, his kids are grown, and Dee is gone

I have become uncomfortably dumb
bats :[
October 21st, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

Well done, commodorejohn! You just needed the right song!
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

#110 dreaded candiru2 – good point. Just as she’s pulled up scattershot bullshit flashbacks lately that barely have anything to do with squat, Lynn could have chosen ANY Sunday strip to run rather than that one. “Oh, how brave.” yeah. uh-huh.

On the other hand…

RMMD Holy SHIT, Niki, let it go already! So you lost a map, big deal! Unless you just want to push it to the point where Rex beats the price of the map out of you, forget it! Didn’t he tell you? …Rex can’t read maps. Did he ever tell you how long it took him to take Hugh Avery to work?
JP Trudi is protecting her own dress with a bottle of wine. Keith is threatening Busty with a table knife. Rusty has a momentary lapse back into being a lawyer before she falls back into being Helpless Babe in a Hot Dress. And Sam actually makes a sudden move. Oh, such excitement; we haven’t seen this much fun since Cedric left two naked punks tied up in a Parisian alley.
Hey, Woody! Hint hint, Cedric! Paris! Abbey! Dammit all, those were the days, when Puppies bounced free.
MW Panels 4 & 5 show the Creeping Black Stripe of Doubt latch onto Vera’s face. Lookie there, that girl done skeered the fish right off Drew’s shirt!
Wouldn’t have happened with a goat shirt, pal.
A3G I like the way Ruby is making the “L for Loser” sign in panel two, but she’s only going to make Margo madder if it’s directed at the Magnificent One. And Margo is…smiling in the last panel? Why, because her Creeping Claw of Death is inching its way up Tommie’s shoulder?
SFx Aw, how nice! Rex, Niki, and Molly the Bear are guesting over at Slylock’s place! And Rex has his eye on Molly’s open mouth and tongue.
FW Segue! Not bad, not bad.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I’m becoming concerned for Lynn Johnston. Not in a “I hope the dear thing doesn’t commit suicide” sort of way but a “raging Medal of Honor recipient takes out entire post office” fashion. She’s turned a very good comic strip about real-life foibles into the last painful season of Roseanne: the divorce is just a nightmare; Michael will win the Nobel Prize in Literature at 31; Liz will succumb to the same miserable life as her mother; and April – who it seems has disappeared from the scene as quickly as Mary Worth at the Bum Boat – will write letters from Borneo, Bombay, or Baltimore once she and Gerald’s band hit the big time.

Lynn, go to the spa. Ask for the coffee enema and the massage from Pedro. The “full” massage.

Lynn, you don’t need to continue the strip as a hybrid. What you need is what you’ve been giving your readers for the past few months: a good long fuck with lots of screaming at the end.
The Ghost of Jarrod
October 21st, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

#70 asks, “One question: why is Lois of Hi and Lois not concerned about her brother’s potential deployment to Iraq?”

Well, since he didn’t get deployed to Korea, Vietnam, Grenada or Afghanistan, I guess she figures he’s probably just going to laze about. But I can tell you, I’d be upset if I didn’t make at least Pfc. after 57 years in the service, I might consider another line of work.
Loopina
October 21st, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

FOOB: is just sad. Can’t we have another Sunday strip with Robin stuffing pretty foliage into his pants?
FW: I don’t know much about art, but I know what I hate… and I don’t hate this.
Baldo: I totally love the expression of the girl working the counter.
Peanuts: Ha ha! Cartoon violence!
BTW, I can’t get sunday comics on Chron. Is this something you have to pay extra for?
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 12:21 am [Reply]

#114 Dingo –

Lynn, you don’t need to continue the strip as a hybrid. What you need is what you’ve been giving your readers for the past few months: a good long fuck with lots of screaming at the end.

Dingo my friend, don’t say that! A good long fuck is what I need; Lynn Johnston can go fuck herself.

Dear Lynnie,

Baby, you are one messed up little bi-polar bear.

Truman A. Fable
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

#116 Loopina – courtesy Dean Booth, God of Comic Pix: Sunday comics!

Bookmark it and change the date every week for more snarkin’ fun!

Don’t ever say I didn’t give you anything, sweet pea.
Helena Handbasket
October 21st, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

A3G (from Saturday): I can’t believe no one has gone here yet, so I’ll be the ‘go there’ gal. Ruby, if you think you’re going to hook up with Aristotle, Margo has only one thing to say to that: “I’ll deny you, Missy!”

FW: Looks like we’ve made the real leap forward now. That feels like a ‘closure’ strip to me. I could have done without the matching breast cancer walk t-shirts, though.

JP: If Red is any kind of lawyer, she’s now going to sue Keith for mental distress, attempted assault, and continuing to wear a mullet after 1986.

S4th: That’s right, Hillary, you let Grandma know where things stand; no pay, no play.

TDIET: Is this the third strip in the last month mentioning the “some assembly” thing or the fourth?
Johnny Cat
October 21st, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

I keep seeing things in Gil Thorpe that mirror my life, and it scares me. I used to rip the sleeves off all my concert shirts, and I had a best buddy with the exact same hairstyle as Cully. That whole clipper cut thing was big in the 90s, but even we didn’t have zombie eyes.
Johnny Cat
October 21st, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

I keep seeing things in Gil Thorpe that mirror my life, and it scares me. I used to rip the sleeves off all my concert shirts, and I had a best buddy with the exact same hairstyle as Cully. That whole clipper cut thing was big in the 90s, but at least we didn’t have zombie eyes.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Today’s Mark Trail made me think of this last week’s episode of Carpoolers. Yes, yes, I know that it’s on after Cavemen but my parents love Dancing with the Stars and I had gone into the den to read the paper. The four guys were in the car and they were discussing who they would rather sleep with out of certain pairings. The last one was “Dame Judi Dench or a bear.” One of the guys looks at the questioner and says, “Describe the bear.”

Mark Trail in a red flannel shirt with Smokey Bear in that ranger hat… it’s just one saxophone solo away from really great porn.
Loopina
October 21st, 2007 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Thanks for the link! Duly noted and bookmarked.
Shaft: Huh. For a minute there I thought he had Parkinson’s.
RMMD: That hawk in the next-to-last panel is spiriting away Rex’s word balloon.
Sfx: Slick Smitty has Alopecia areata barbae!
Joseph J. Finn
October 21st, 2007 at 12:59 am [Reply]

Rob Blagoejvishshshshhshsh. Sheesh, whom doesn’t know the name of the Guv of IL?
dreadedcandiru2
October 21st, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

Funky Futurebean: Well, the second reload is go. Are we gonna find out that Les is bummed because he wasn’t self-destructive enough? That he handled her loss TOO well for his liking? Probably, knowing BadNews
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 1:24 am [Reply]

#122 Dingo – If you are ever down Atlanta way for a job interview and need a place to stay over, come out to Greater Metropolitan Roopville. All you have to do is make me laugh the way your post did, that is some funny stuff right there.
Deena in OR
October 21st, 2007 at 1:36 am [Reply]

OK…anybody have any hints on how I can get the Chron site to display the Sunday strips? I get the weekday ones fine, but the Sundays don’t display. I think I fixed the browser security issues…
Trilobite
October 21st, 2007 at 1:38 am [Reply]

A3G: For all of Margo’s faults as a roommate, there is one thing she does which goes far above and beyond the call of duty: she actually manages to remember details about Tommie’s sad, pathetic excuse for a love life. Even Tommie doesn’t remember the men she was infatuated with last month…not even Director Neil, and that was the closest she’s ever gotten to actual sex.

Judge Parker: It would be easy to dismiss Keith’s anger out of hand, what with his lame war cry and the fact that his weapon of choice is a shiny piece of flatware…hang on, that’s a pretty good argument. Dismiss away.
Joe Btfsplk
October 21st, 2007 at 1:40 am [Reply]

Popeye opens up a can of spinwhoopax on a gang of Abraham Lincoln impersonators, and I can’t think of a thing to say about it. What’s wrong with me?
Joshua
October 21st, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Re #70: why is Lois of Hi and Lois not concerned about her brother’s potential deployment to Iraq?

I envision a “Beetle Bailey” strip along these lines:

Panel 1: General Halftrack writing a letter to the Pentagon. “Dear Secretary of Defense Gates: Can you advise me as to why no troops from Camp Swampy have been deployed to Iraq?”

Panel 2: The general receives his response. “Dear Gen. Halftrack: Because we want to win.”
Deena in OR
October 21st, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Re: 129…never mind. It helps to scroll up once in a while…
@118 Thanks, True Fable!
Deena in OR
October 21st, 2007 at 1:48 am [Reply]

Argh…I meant 127, not 129!!! Time for bed…
Angry Beaver
October 21st, 2007 at 3:45 am [Reply]

In RMMD, I can just see the whole convicts escaping turning into ‘Home Alone’. They distract Rex leaving poor Niki alone and he sets these elaborate traps to stop them.
Baka Gaijin
October 21st, 2007 at 4:00 am [Reply]

Monday’s Comics:

Beetle Bailey: Sarge is jealous of Beetle’s beard.

Strange Brew: They solved the mystery of “Where’s Molly the Bear?”

FOOB: Rejoice! No sight of “Steaming Dump” or bitter potato-nosed shrews. Someone wants to “go my own way,” but is it Mewedith or April? Someone’s shifted shapes again.

Gil Thorpe: Hey! I figured it out. Last year, just after Ben Franklin left Milford, the Mudlarks started working on an improved female baseball team with BALCO’s help. Something went awry; the hormonal experiment spiraled out of control. A year ago Cully was Mandy! Check the hair! Compare the first panel faces!
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
October 21st, 2007 at 4:04 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – My favorite aspect of today’s comic is Vera’s clenched left fist in panel two. A seasoned hellcat like her isn’t going to let wussy Drew get away with a mere slap.

Apartment 3G – I used to think Tommie was the dull one. But I’m cultivating a growing respect for her as Margo’s straightman. Like a good passing center sets up the all-star winger in hockey , Tommie disarms Ruby with seemingly harmless girl talk while Margo locks,loads and takes aim with vicious glee.

Gil Thorp – “It’s going to suck even more to be you”. There you go Cully, make up for your lack of any social skills by picking up ol’ pencilboy and suplexing him. Nothing like another twitching and broken corpse to fill the bleak void inside of you.

Dick Tracy – Speaking of blood lust, What in the name of herring is the Governor thinking? Nothing says charity event “Funstravaganza” like staying in a rat infected haunted house with a rampant psychopath like Dick Tracy and a select group of prima donna local celebrities. I only hope that the Lt. Governor is a competent administrator, looks like they’ll be assuming office ABB (After Blood Bath).
LTBF
October 21st, 2007 at 4:07 am [Reply]

Wait, that FOOB is a rerun and was picked without concern to her hubby dumping her for another woman?
Dorianne
October 21st, 2007 at 4:30 am [Reply]

WHAT is Lynn Johnston DOING?

It’s like watching your mom get drunk and start blubbering and then pass out on the floor.
Cambiata
October 21st, 2007 at 4:48 am [Reply]

Hey, there are two governors who are famous enough to have been in a movie together. Not once, but twice.
Cambiata
October 21st, 2007 at 5:03 am [Reply]

Today’s Foob is not just a rerun, the first panel is new. So it wasn’t picked “without concern”, it was gently harvested from previous strips to provide as much pain of a twist of the knife as possible.
Luprand
October 21st, 2007 at 5:15 am [Reply]

So I got another idea for a little comic mash-up, this time between Dick Tracy and Gil Thorpe: The Haunted Bucket.
Baka Gaijin
October 21st, 2007 at 5:59 am [Reply]

Better Half Sunday: OH MY! HOW DID THIS STRIP MAKE IT PAST THE CENSORS??? Does she do what I think she does with that Electrolux? (bottom row, left panel) Eeeewwwww! Wait a minute, later this week, Vera’ll be at Best Buy looking at vacuums. Dawn will confront Dr. Drew at the Bum Boat and slap him silly!
Anonymous
October 21st, 2007 at 5:59 am [Reply]

I like that his head-hole also appears to have had something torn off, but what? Is he so poor he has to be defective, three-sleeved shirts? Or is it the oppisite and the shirt actually featured some sort of state of the art head-sleeve that he tore of in the heat of the moment? Considering his likelly criminal history, mabe it came with a built in ski mask. All I know is I`ll be on the edge of my seat until this is all figured out!
The Avocado Avenger
October 21st, 2007 at 6:19 am [Reply]

#141 Baka – You linked to Frazz, which I think is squicky (it’s about peeing in a bottle, right?), but not the squicky you meant to link to. I’d go to “Better Half” myself but don’t know where to find it, and the Chron is down again. Surprise.
Big Sims
October 21st, 2007 at 6:22 am [Reply]

I guess I’ll be skipping Thanksgiving at the Winery this year.

Actually, who would you like to spend Thanksgiving with in the comics world?

Foob – Nah, and it’s too late anyway.
Beetle – No, I’ve had my fill of barracks food for a lifetime.

More on this later – I have to go make breakfast for the wee ones
The Avocado Avenger
October 21st, 2007 at 6:29 am [Reply]

FBoFW – Usually, I’d give Lynn the benefit of the doubt, and assume she probably knew this (and a couple similar ones, if I recall) were going to come up during the hybrid/reruns and she might as well get them out of the way… except she apparently drew a whole new first panel, the small one, because Elly doesn’t look like old Elly there. It gives the “memory like an elephant” comment a bit of a sinister feel.
Carapace
October 21st, 2007 at 6:37 am [Reply]

Thanks for the ‘mudgeonly welcome, folks!

Mary Worth: I’m confused by the continuance of drama, here. Didn’t Drew go on roughly 1.5 dates with both these women? Maybe I’m behind the times, or just confused by the rarefied Charterstone morality, but it never would have occurred to me that a person had made a commitment after a couple of dates. That’s casual aquaintanceship at best. Unless, of course, something more went on off screen, in which case I hope we never find out that’s the case.

Forgetting that unsavory possibility: Vera, Dawn, Drew? Let it go. Betrayal is when your spouse leaves you and your children for a laptop. Trust gets shattered by lawyers, bearded hunters, and stupid, nondescript gallery owners who don’t realize they’ve made their own doom. You haven’t spent enough time together to qualifya for the HOV lane, much less the broken hearts club. Get over it or,as a man I once knew said, “I’ll give you something to cry about.”

A3G: That said, I do feel hurt that A3G is moving away from Fight of the Super B—s to focus on Tommie’s love life. Then again, I owe Tommy a debt of gratitude for proving that redheads don’t have to be exciting, vivacious sexpots. They can out-mouse any dishwater blonde or paper-bag brunette!

FooB: Writing as someone who has aphasia and frequent seizures, I must give Lynn credit for accurately portraying what total jerkwads most people are in the face of disability. Clearly, FooB is not meant to be a humo(u)rous strip about an everyfamily, but a cutting Lockhorns/Edge City style comment on family disfunction. Bravo, Lynn! Next week: someone tries to stuff a spoon down Grandpa Jim’s throat to keep him from biting his tongue, and Meredith paints Robin’s hands with hot sauce to combat his pica.
Shave Ezra
October 21st, 2007 at 6:38 am [Reply]

Are we allowed to ask about the spelling of post titles? Or is that too late? Or is Josh really talking about Universal Terrestrial Radio Access? And just how bitchy is that?
Saluki
October 21st, 2007 at 6:47 am [Reply]

Sunday’s strips

Blondie: I don’t know why Herb always borrows tools. Herb IS a tool.

FW: What’s up with those Tshirts. There has got to be a reason for them.

JP: So he’s gonna cut her dress off with a butter knife?

MW: What happend to Vera’s face in panel 5. Does she develop a rash when she gets mad?

SHAFT: I thought Ed had the DT’s.

Monty: I don’t know why but this one made me laugh out loud today. Bravo Monty, well played.
Baka Gaijin
October 21st, 2007 at 7:09 am [Reply]

#143 AA: Oh how embarassing! Thanks for pointing that out. Now here’s the corrected post, already in progress:

Sunday’s Better Half. OH MY! HOW DID THIS STRIP MAKE IT PAST THE CENSORS??? Does she do what I think she does with that Electrolux? (bottom row, left panel) Eeeewwwww! Wait a minute, later this week, Vera’ll be at Best Buy looking at vacuums. Dawn will confront Dr. Drew at the Bum Boat and slap him silly!
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 7:10 am [Reply]

I’m bored and can’t sleep. http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/1671344342/
Brian
October 21st, 2007 at 7:30 am [Reply]

Am I the only one hoping that the current Gil Thorp story line ends with the Torn Off Sleeve guy shouting “Don’t tase me Bro!” while writhing in agony on the ground, pony tail all loose and akimbo-ed, and a Cully shouting “See what you made me do??”

Ah, if it was only true…
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 8:04 am [Reply]

Still bored… http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/1672128524/
MDtoMN
October 21st, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Sunday A3g – so, the Sunday comics don’t run everywhere, right? They’re usually just filler and can’t advance the plot, because lots of readers of the weekly comics don’t get the Sunday funnies.

Personally, I find it delicious that the writer of A3G decided that, rather than recap the weeks events, this Sunday funny could be devoted to Tommie and her love life. It’s a tacit acknowledgment that no one will care that they missed it, and that no one who read it will remember it later.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 8:13 am [Reply]

#150-Shoot!!…I meant to dub in Trainman saying “Elly, one day you will have the ass of an elephant”…Shoot!
blase
October 21st, 2007 at 8:30 am [Reply]

RMMD: Niki’s “Lost” the map, and now they’re being surrounded by ginormous wildlife. Could this signify that soon we’ll be seeing transgendered ducks, size-changing bears and bad guys with facial hair? One can only hope…
Rusty
October 21st, 2007 at 8:39 am [Reply]

A late Saturday shout-out for LIo, which was just great.
Mooncattie
October 21st, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

MW – For heaven’s sake, Drew, move on already! She’s going to pull this You damaged my trust in you! crap every time you neglect to take out the garbage or forget to pick up milk on the way home.

DT – “Tracy, nice work on helping to prevent a second 9/11, but WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU TAKING PART IN A CHARITY EVENT??!!” And how long before all Fox News announcers are dressed like this strip’s Police Chief?

DtM – Uh, Joey, you forgot the word “with”.

Crankshaft – It’s a lot easier to deal with this if you think of it as an Alternate Timeline for the life of Dick Cheney.

My goodness, I’m cynical for a Sunday morning! Better put the kettle on….
Jim
October 21st, 2007 at 8:48 am [Reply]

FW: Sweet strip… but where the hell did Les say people go when they die? Come on, Batuik, how do you comfort the poor five-year-old who inexplicably became fifteen over the course of two panels?
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

In the Chicago Tribune, they left off that new, first panel of FOOB that the Chron shows. This “accidental” use of an old strip really seems like sour grapes on Lynn’s part. I hope her husband sends her a photo of himself with his new lady love naked on a Mexican beach or anywhere else that Spanish is spoken after a flight on a plane.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Those were the days, my Mudge
As sweet as chocolate fudge
We’d post and snark forever and a day
I think I have smallpox
Pope Josh Noodlefoot rocks
For we were something that rhymes with argyle sox….
Boom boom hubbidajuggida…one more time for the WORLD!!! http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20040524&name=Rex_Morgan
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 9:20 am [Reply]

#159- Dingo—This looks like a good’n for the Trainman & the former Lynnion…What was her name?…Skippy..Samsonite?…I forget.—- http://eroticxholidays.com/es/index.htm
ArbuckleLovesLyman
October 21st, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

Can I just say that Dick Tracy is the most visually horrific thing I have ever seen? Anyone else feel like that?
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

HBGlord-whatevsthread: I just had to give you crazed, screwy, whacko propers on “The Gobbler”—Your friend in [fill in the Blank]..Red
Buck Ripsnort
October 21st, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

Sunday JP: Enraged by Rusty’s attempt to cover her boobs, the sexually-frustrated Sam smashes a wineglass w/ a butterknife and chases her out of the house. Why can’t Phantom or one of the other “action” strips have this stuff? Why o WHY couldn’t Margo have done this to Ruby in A3G?
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

ArbuckleLovesLyman @#162—Why yes, yes I do…Give me a few hours to do a DT-GT mashie-Then watch the cradle rock!!
(is that what Steve Railsback said in Helter Skelter?)..anyhoo…I need a job to pay for my smallpoxes.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

I’ve taken some advice and am posting two new sets of videos to my YouTube site: Houses in the Fields (my thesis) and Seeds of Hope. Seeds of Hope is already up. It’s about Growing Home, a non-profit that teaches the homeless to be organic farmers. This is a documentary short I made about them in grad school. It’ll be later for Houses. I have to break the film into pieces that are less than ten minutes, save to DV format, and then open in QuickTime and export to MP4. Seeds was just two files; Houses will be ten or eleven.

Thanks to all of you, a few of my videos have now been seen by over two hundred people and one just hit three hundred. It’s a good thing.

Dingo’s videos
willethompson
October 21st, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

JP: Drunken mullethead shiv assault! Wine bottle noggin-knockin’ by a haltered bimbo! Incomprehnsible economic-lawyer psychobabble! Bodacious sweaterpuppies in a spray-painted sheath with an albedo of .99! Add a midget with a strap-on and a lower bowel disorder and you have…

The Aristocrats!
Loopina
October 21st, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

#148: those are some type of breast cancer walk shirts. There are two main organizations that do them, Avon and the Susan G. Komen foundation.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 9:54 am [Reply]

Hi wille, So the Pep Boys was wrong?!?!?
John C Fremont
October 21st, 2007 at 10:18 am [Reply]

JP – Oh, man, all this action, anger, violence – and boobies! Man, oh Manischewitz, this is gonna be a great day.

MT – “Remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of flesh.” – Smokey Shakespeare.

MW – Crap, Vera’s sprung another oil leak. Clean up in panel five!

(Any time someone in Mary Worth turns all gold and shiny, it makes me think of Kent Brockman telling the citizens of New Springfield that soon they’ll all be taking golden showers. But I digress.)

RMMD – Yeah, don’t beat yourself up, Niki. Those escapees will take care of that for you.

FC – Is Bil shoplifting that shirt? And isn’t Thel a stay-at-home mom? They have conventions? Hell, sign me up!
gleeb
October 21st, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

FBoFW: Rerun or not, I doubt these things are chosen completely at random. Johnston’s milking this for all the support she can get from her audience.

Crankshaft: So that’s what the guy in Jacob’s Ladder was doing. How he got tape on his head escapes me, though.

Judge P: A shyster with a law degree and a body that won’t quit, thank you very much.

Phantom: He shot the pirate’s cuffs loose while his hands were behind him?

Rex Morgan: Niki’s attempts to get out of this trip will not avail him.

Zippy: More Dingburg. Ugh. And, Griffith reveals his spite towards the illiterate.
the opoponax
October 21st, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

I’ve decided to start reading Apartment 3-G as if it were about 3 contemporary Brooklyn hipsters who are so deeply into their ironical early-60’s affectations that they’re now basically indistinguishable from actual denizens of the Kennedy administration.

The names work, and for the most part so do the careers (LuAnn an artist and/or teacher, Margo a nebulously employed dilletante, Tommie on the other hand…), even the fact that Margo’s mom is a crazy spiritual Latina and LuAnn has all these weird hayseed relatives.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#172 the opoponax –

Hey, that’s got legs! How about Tommie as a specialty escort so coked up she thinks she’s really a nurse?
queek
October 21st, 2007 at 11:34 am [Reply]

half the fun of the Sunday MT and FOOB was knowing how much laughter and/or bile they would generate here. Love the shouting deer in MT. Foob was just beyond dire. Lynn, do Amend one better, and just quit. PLEASE!

Phantom: Ghost-Who-Renditions?

GF: I’m still laughing at the name on Bucky’s box. (panel 4) That’s clever stuff, Darby.

Opus: love the Bill the Cat tatoo.

F-: there’s a furry joke here somewhere.
migellito
October 21st, 2007 at 11:44 am [Reply]

170, John Fremont
“RMMD – Yeah, don’t beat yourself up, Niki. Those escapees will take care of that for you.”

Oh wow! You mean you think those escapees in that newspaper article might run into Rex and Niki?!
Slither
October 21st, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

10/21:

MW: This hasn’t been a good week for Dr. Drew Corey. He lost two birds and one fish!

FW: What are those T-shirts being worn by the Les and Summer of the future? Go Pink? Why is little Summer grabbing her chest? Is she already feeling the first twinges of her genetically guaranteed doom to breast cancer? I see a white-masked butler in her very near future!

Doonesbury: Amen! Death to the cell-phone addicts!
lovetoykilljoy
October 21st, 2007 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Two things I love about the comics featured today

The random mongloid hands that appear in Dick Tracy

How in Gil Thorpe girls look like really ugly guys and guys look like really ugly girls.
Rainbird
October 21st, 2007 at 11:55 am [Reply]

Red Greenback #150 Love Ellie channling Family Circus. Hope it was worth it to go without sleep.
firegoat
October 21st, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Is “Utra Bitchy” like Uber Bitchy?
HBGlord
October 21st, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

#163 — Thanks, my red and green brother! The goings-on behind that Gobbler link really do take a week or two to fully process.

By the way, The Gobbler, R.I.P.
Little Guy
October 21st, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

As much as Lynn wants to elicit sympathy as well as keep her real estate in the Funnies, she has to realize a) she has no control over the placement of her strip and b) other strips nearby.

Witness the 4th panel of Sunday’s PBS, which is right below today’s FOOB in the WashPost.

As they would say on other boards, “Pastis with the win.”
Godzooky
October 21st, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Sat. Phantom: After three days of staring at a depiction of his crotch, Albino-Who-Walks tears himself away, secure in the knowledge that no one in downtown Mawitaan will look twice at a man with paper-white skin, 1950s hat, and Hollywood shades, sporting a leather jacket in short-sleeve weather, accompanied by a complexion-matching white wolf.

Sun. Phantom: As Don Adams might put it: Would you believe…that between panels 1 and 2, he planted a noise-activated explosive charge in the connecting part of the Singh pirate’s handcuffs and the noise of the shot set off the charge? No, huh? OK, would you believe…?
The Divine O’F
October 21st, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE:

87 Crabby Genes: Very, very nice! It got my day off to a good start!

150 Red: BWAHAHAHA! (I think.) Hope you got back to sleep.

Everyone else: there’s some great stuff here today. I’m just too lazy to be more specific.
digamma
October 21st, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

FW: Wait, when did Les grow the Van Dyke? I thought that was only in the future but he has it in the right-after-Lisa’s-death scene too.
Inspector Dim
October 21st, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Summer has grown up into a woman that any character in Funky Winkerbean would love and admire. I mean, look at that smirk! It’s perfect! Lisa is surely smirking down on her from heaven right now.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Oh my! The Gobbler video is no longer available? Man alive!, if I could put myself into another dimension like I do when I go to the bathroom—-I’d've been in the 1970’s playing shuffleboard on the Gobbler grounds instead of being a bum, which is what I am, Charlie.
Smaug
October 21st, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#51: It’s not that she’s stiff, lifeless, robotlike, and looks like she’s made of some kind of weather-sealant putty; it’s that she’s Michael Jackson.
Godzooky
October 21st, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Sat. Single and Looking: Let’s see, Sam and Jackie have dinners together, shop together, and share intimate details of their lives. They haven’t found each other yet?

Sun. Single and Looking: If you thought Dick Tracy’s Two Face-as-governor had a scary face, check out Madame Red.
Godzooky
October 21st, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

S-M: Two Sundays ago, at the airport, Peter and MJ get through the TSA inspection and calmly walk towards the gate. Last Sunday, at the Daily Bugle office, Peter somehow convinces JJJ to give him his low-paying, dead-end photographer job back. Today, JJJ paces and speculates about Spider-Man’s secret identity. No lulls in this strip, that’s for sure.
Phoebe
October 21st, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Bah and humbug. I didn’t recieve any sunday funnies. I suspect my brother, always the early riser, has snatched them.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 21st, 2007 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

10/21

FOOB: Hey Lynn, do you want us to start charging $150 an hour? Do you?

FC: Bill starts whenever he hears the word “daddy.” Apparently he’s sown his seed a little wider than the 4 we know about.

JP: So Keith’s going psycho with a knife now? Hey, maybe he’ll turn it on himself for having brought shame and dishonor yadda yadda yadda.

A3G: “Why I do believe our Tommie’s smitten? Now how can I turn this to my advantage?”

Lockhorns: I’m curious to know how Jack Bauer would save the Hateeachothers’ marriage. Presumably it would involve a cold hard table and battery wires applied to the genitals and/or nipples, but after that I’m a little vague.
the opoponax
October 21st, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

@ 173 Uncle Lumpy -

Yeah, I was thinking maybe that she went WAY overboard with some kind of “sexy nurse” Halloween costume, like maybe she’s turning tricks to pay the rent, but doesn’t want Margo and LuAnn to know.

It should also be noted that in this AM scene that’s been going on for the past month, both she and LuAnn seem to be wearing items currently in stock at American Apparel.
Godzooky
October 21st, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

JP: Indiscreet asexual lawyers, butter knife-wielding idiots and tight, tight dresses aside, I’m still rooting for Mr. Caesar here. According to this N.Y. Times Magazine article, people will need the water in those vineyards a lot more than any wine.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

A3G – Margo may seem jovial and sisterly, but she’s really analyzing Tommie for a weak spot.

Crankshaft – Man, for a mediocre gag like that, this strip is a freakin’ work of art.

FC – So…what’s this “convention” thing? I’m pretty darn sure it has nothing to do with a modern con, because…well, there’s no cosplay or fursuits. Was the “convention” of the 1950s a magical event where parents could leave their children at home and spend a week doing…um, things?

FOOB – Yes, this strip clearly has nothing to do with Lynn trying to make her ex feel guilty. Nothing at all. No sirree. Zip, zero, nada.

FW – So…Batiuk is displaying more authorial and dramatic competence in a single strip than in the entire OMG ITS CANCER arc. Go fig. It’s a welcome change, at any rate.

HOTC – “Pedestrian,” kid. That’s the word you’re looking for.

JP – “Red, wait! He’s not done killing you yet!”

MT – That Mark & Smokey picture and the word “firewise” are now entries in my Awesome List.

MW – This is playing out like she’s casting him out of her cult, dooming him to spend eternity with the Man-Eating Demon Goats.

Edison Lee – BLAST IT EDISON YOU HAVE ALWAYS RUN THIS JOKE INTO THE GROUND EVERY OTHER DAY IN THE LESS THAN A YEAR YOU HAVE EVEN EXISTED STOP IT ALREADY
Loopina
October 21st, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

#188: I’m not too well versed in Single and Looking (used to read it as Out of the Gene Pool, my paper doesn’t carry it), but isn’t Sam the brother of Jackie’s best friend? That could get a little awkward if the relationship goes south.
Helena Handbasket
October 21st, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

#163, 180, 186: I have been to The Gobbler! Yes, I have stood outside it, in all its glory, and peeked in through the cracked windows and marvelled at its scary carpeting. Sadly, at the time it looked like they were tearing things down and/or getting ready for some kind of huge remodel.
HBGlord
October 21st, 2007 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

#196 — Yes, it’s true: A few years back, a couple of people i know went to the site under the pretense of being potential buyers. But yes, the long-dormant site is being sold for redevelopment.

It’s sad to think we live in a world that can’t support a turkey-shaped-and-themed pleasure and [imagine Brit pronunciation here, please] leisure center.
Rainbird
October 21st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

197 HBGlord Well, for those of us on the West Coast, there is still the Madonna Inn. But they know they are kitch, and reslish in it.
turingbot
October 21st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Vera’s throw pillows aren’t merely hiding from predators. They’re hiding from Charterstone propmasters eager to shuffle them into the next apartment for the next scene, much like those pink curtains that drifted from Vera’s apartment to Drew’s and back again over the course of the week.
Jym
October 21st, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

=170= FC (John C Fremont): They sure do have conventions. That’s how we learned that Jeffy is God.

=192= A3G (the opoponax): Intriguing premise, but where in Brooklyn? They are so not Williamsburg, but maybe somewhere near downtown?
Dennis Jimenez
October 21st, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

A3G – Don’t you remember Mr. Kneel (and his willie will) Fly-in, Tommie?

DtM – I’d have gone with Ladies PGA for Gina, Cabana Boy for Joey and Corrections Officer for Margaret – Dennis will be living in his parents basement growing weed.

Foob – Low-art imitates low-life?

MT – More information on what you can do to promote urban sprawl can be found on the internets.

MW – Sorry seems to be the hardest word – I’m sorry, so sorry – who’s sorry now – you can stuff your sorrys in a sack, Drew. I hope you and your Steve Martin penis cream with be very happy together.

RMMD – We’ll make du – you don’t see that on the funny pages every day – well there is FBoFW, I guess.

Adios Amigos
Poteet
October 21st, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Foob — *lower jaw drops so far that both hands are needed to pick it up off the floor*
HBGlord
October 21st, 2007 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

#198 — Rainbird, while visiting the Central Coast a few years back, i made a special stop at the Madonna Inn exclusively to use their unbelievable waterfall urinal in the gents’ lavatory — now the second most famous men’s room in America!
the opoponax
October 21st, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

@ Jym #200 –

Hm. Well firstly, for a NYC apartment building to have an Apartment # 3G it would have to be pretty large. Brownstones and row houses usually have floor through units, so they number 1, 2, 3, etc. with no letters. Classic tenements usually have only a few apartments per level, and often classify them “front” and “back” (or “rear”), so you get 3F, 3R, etc. Same goes for most real industrial lofts.

So your options for Brooklyn architecture are a luxury loft (DUMBO?), a high-rise development (newish construction in Prospect Heights or Bo/Co/Ca?), or one of those sprawling Grand Dame buildings in Kensington or Flatbush.

On the other hand, I live in a projects-turned-co-op complex near the Navy Yard (Fort Greene, technically), and the letters in our building go up to H. Oh, shit… I better keep an eye out for a dim blond, satan-spawn brunet, and completely nondescript redhead in matching Jackie O wannabe outfits…
dreadedcandiru2
October 21st, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

(TIHTI)FBOFW: It’s bad enough that Lynn is pissing on our leg and telling us that it’s raining. That I could deal with. What I find hard to swallow is all the two-legged sheep on CoffeeSquawk who are gonna defend her right to do so. That is, assuming they don’t all agree it’s raining too.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

Santa Royale Sunday
with apologies to The Monkees

The local drunkard down the street
Is trying hard to fix the swans
She’s at a shelter, got a welt there
Yellows pissing on the lawn

Another Santa Royale Sunday
Meddlin’ happ’ning everywhere
See people standing ’round the pool
The biddies seem to rule

See Vera Shields men tend to yield
Right in their tracks as she walks by
They woo and court her but just bore her
Two weeks later not even “Hi.”

Another Santa Royale Sunday
Here where black widows keep their lair
You’re young and cute and think you’re such a deb
Don’tcha see her web? It’s there

Poor Ella Byrd, you must’ve heard
How Mary ran her out of town
Wisdom from proles? Here’s casserole
Served with some arsenic and a frown

Ta ta ta…

Another Santa Royale Sunday
Meddlin’ happ’ning everywhere
See people standing ’round the pool
The biddies seem to rule

Another Santa Royale Sunday…
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Veering totally OT (or maybe not, golf is featured in the funnie pages alot).Anyhoo, I “dated” a LPGA player a while back, she told me many ribald stories about other ladies on the tour…so I guess my point is don’t beleive the stereotype of the “female golfer”. Clearing the air since 1951-Red.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

#207- Red Greenback: Maybe CC is not an appropriate forum vis-a-vis ladie golfers. I think Betty’s Blog™ http://archiecomicblogs.typepad.com/bettys_blog/ is a better fit.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Red, I always thought you were a man. If you dated a LPGA player, are you a lesbian?
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Dingo @ approximately #209- Visit Betty’s Blog™ and all will become crystal—except for the part that says my “dad” goes out with the lady golfer—clear. I’m RedG and I support this message.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Dingo my friend, the whole point, I guess is about gay profiling. Check out http://archiecomicblogs.typepad.com/bettys_blog/ and scoll down to “Archies Costume ‘Closet’” Nuff said Red.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph! Red, that’s a Duesy!
Buck Ripsnort
October 21st, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

192– Opoponax, NY-stereotypes aside, I honestly don’t think the A3G girls would last long in Queens, what w/ the walking-outside-without-pants thing. Then again, it has been an unusually warm autumn.
Krohmdohm
October 21st, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

#210 Ok now you HAVE to send a picture
CrabbyGenes
October 21st, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Sunday Mark Trail: Has Smokey been murdered and stuffed?
Chocohol
October 21st, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

I’m not entirely sure the person in Gil Thorp IS a guy.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

Here ya go Krohmdohm: http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/1678172437/
willethompson
October 21st, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Hey, Le Rouge Verde Dorsal! Nice to see you back in form.

And Dingo: You actually make a Monkees song worth singing.

Pix of the NC/SC meet-up go to Josh tomorrow….
Hank
October 21st, 2007 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

RE: FOOB. Is it’s Lynn’s “right” to do this? Sure. Free speech and all that. Regardless, the fact she chose to do so is really creepy.

If Lynn had announced she was retiring and reprinting EVERY strip in chronological order, obviously this one would come up. But clearly that isn’t what she has planned. Instead she is carefully choosing strips to highlight and flash back to, putting in new framing devices, etc.

Therefore, it is, to put it kindly, incredibly disingenuous of her to claim that her use of this strip is anything but an attempt to either (a) use the strip against her ex; (b) garner more sympathy from readers.

Either way, it doesn’t speak well of her current outlook on the world.
Les
October 21st, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Random my ass, but still funny. What’s the point of having international prominence if not to get revenge on exes?
Krohmdohm
October 21st, 2007 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

#217 Have you sent that in to the Betty’s Blog Halloween Costume contest yet?? Seriously, there are so many creative people here it would be a riot to see the contest flooded by Mudges.
Red Greenback
October 21st, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Krohmdohm-you gave me a fantabulous idea for theNYerCC!
Here it goes: “So have you decided what you’re going to be for Halloween?” I’m submitting that bad boy, toot sweet, I daresay! Thanx Krohmdohm…Red
the opoponax
October 21st, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

213 Buck – Who ever said anything about Queens? The only way I’d suspect the ladies of Apartment 3-G were Queensians (?) would be if they really were unironically a nurse, a teacher, and an executive assistant. Since my hypothesis is that they’re hipsters who’ve gotten so deeply into their retro aesthetic they’ve actually forgotten it’s not 1960 anymore, there’s basically no way they live in Queens. Even the artists in Long Island City are generally the less affected sort.
Jamus The Bartender
October 21st, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

FOOB:
That reminds me of a dream I had.
I woke up in a cold sweat. Cassandra nudged me with her tail. “What’s wrong, baby?” she asked me.
“Oh, babygirl…” I said, “I had the weirdest dream. I dreamed we got into a fight, and you were trying to give up coke, but couldn’t, and while I was gone, you sold all my stuff to buy some, and I didn’t see you until you tried to steal a Golden Cat from a museum, whereupon you framed me and I had to spend time in a cell with Dick Tracy. But it’s all over now.”
“I’ve got bad news for you, baby. ” Cassandra said. “This is the dream. You’re still in the cell with Dick Tracy.”
The Divine O’F
October 21st, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

220 Les: Right on! I agree! More power to her!

Red… is that really you?
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 21st, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#223 the opoponax — re your question about what to call people from Queens:

A true story: Once, random clicking took me to a Wikipedia page titled “List of Queensites”, which I stared at for a good several seconds wondering what on Earth a “Queen-site” might be. (A web site fit for a queen?)

The page appears to have since been renamed “List of people from Queens”.
Wayne
October 21st, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

So how does the FW reset relate to Crankshaft? Will there be a tear in the space-time continuum? Will Mindy go back to work at Montoni’s and find that everyone is ten years older? We she come home from work ten years older? Will Crankshaft age ten years and die? (We can only hope.)
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

#218 willethompson – Hey, you had better not be putting down the Monkees.
Wayne
October 21st, 2007 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

FW: Do you think they’ll explain the worm hole that seems to connect Manhattan with their little town in Ohio? It seems that people can step from one place to the other at a moment’s notice without having to get on an airplane. For example, Funky coming to rescue Les immediately after receiving a phone call. Or Les and the (pre-reset) Summer going to Central Park immediately after Summer asks when Lisa is coming back.
Krohmdohm
October 21st, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Check out the Funky Winkerbean website. Has bios of the characters 10 years later. Jessica is married to Darrin, and comic book John is married to Becky. No mention at all of Wally so are we to presume another character dances off with a mime?
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

#166 Dingo – thanks for the video links, I enjoyed them very much, very interesting. I really liked the Seeds of Hope project, that’s a great job and very worthwhile program.

Those of you who haven’t checked it out, go back and do so, it’s a neat thing.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 21st, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

#230 Krohmdohm,
I don’t think Becky is going to divorce one of the troops, even if that’s a downer that actually happens in life. So yeah, Wally should keep his mime-dancing shoes ready.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

#230 Krohmdohm –

are we to presume another character dances off with a mime?

That’s mine – Wally dances off with a mine.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

#230 Krohmdohm – Oh God. Not another one. But say…I bet Comic Book John knows some one-armed superheroine or other to cheer up Becky in between bouts of lifeless, depressive geeksex.

Krohmdohm Reads The Funky Winkerbean Website So You Don’t Have To!
Dariaclone
October 21st, 2007 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: So, unrelated to today’s strip, I finally figured out whose books Michael’s writing reminded me of. It took the Friday thread reference to the rapture for me to connect it. And now I’m convinced LJ stole the Michael as author plot from Janette Oke. Oke is a popular christian author, but the books have had crossover success. The books are, you guessed it, about women on the prairie. And Oke is Canadian. Her second series of prairie books were about the Canadian prairie.

Oke did not start writing until she was 44 because prior to that “she devoted herself to being a wife and mother.” Her first book was published in 1975 and since then she has written 75 more. She writes each one in a week.

The writing styles are also almost identical. From the first line of the first book:’

Good Morning.
The words come softly, and Marty opened sleep-heavy eyes to identify the source.”

I will spare you any more samples. More information on Oke can be found on the Internet.
Jamus The Bartender
October 21st, 2007 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

235. That sounds like some books my Mom has, Daria. When I was on the can during my last visit, I saw one, kinda glanced through it…I seem to remember a lot of references to wind-blown prairies and widows who were strong, but poor, yet happy, although destitute. It was depressing as hell. Kinda like the Waltons, but without the “good night John-Boy” at the end.
Trotzenbonnie
October 21st, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

#218 – wille
Your book made me laugh.
Your comment made me weep. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today but for the Pre-Fab Four.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

#235 Dariaclone – I should have known it would be something out of Christian fiction. Where else can you find knee-jerk anti-feminism combined with glorification of misery and self-imposed martyrdom?
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Just looked at the Funky Winkerbean cast. Apart from all the teens except Crazy’s daughter looking all alike and in fact, every group of people in their respective age groups looking alike, I noticed something more.

It makes me despair that Funky looks so goddamn OLD when he’s only 46; same for the rest of the cast. Do we really let ourselves go like that, I wondered? I went in and looked in the mirror, and the Fable that stared back at me was certainly not the long-haired, happy-go-lucky wild-eyed kid I was ‘way back when. But I don’t look entirely as if my body was run through the Eat Shit and Die machine after a good hard rinse in bleach and Ab-Flab, either.

If nothing else, Tom Batiuk has only underscored my determination to improve my health and my look. I’ll be hanged if I’ll let that rat bastard make me a Cancerbean Stereotype.
AMC
October 21st, 2007 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

FOOB – I don’t know what Lynn has to complain about. “John” made all her dreams come true.
Dariaclone
October 21st, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

#238, Commodorejohn. I don’t think I’ve ever had my fundamentalism upbringing summarized so succinctly. I may have to print out your comment and hand it out to friends as a way of explaining my myriad of issues.
Colleen
October 21st, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Does Lynn Johnston really think her ex-husband still reads this crap? He probably left her so that he wouldn’t be forced into that torture any longer.
CrabbyGenes
October 21st, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

#239 True Fable. “But I don’t look entirely as if my body was run through the Eat Shit and Die machine after a good hard rinse in bleach and Ab-Flab, either.”

BWAHAHAHA!!
AMC
October 21st, 2007 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

BTW, is Utra the tougher sister of Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS? Because Margo says she’s going to have to discipline her by toasting her bagel in front of other women. Whatever that means….
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

#244 AMC -

Maybe it’s outre-bitchy! ‘Cause that would be awesome!
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

#241 Dariaclone – Yeah, I know the territory. Thankfully, the folks at my church were much closer to sanity, but between the occasional guest preacher and my parents’ subscription to various Evangelical magazines, I got a lot of opportunities to analyze why I don’t much like hanging out with most other Christians.
gleeb
October 21st, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

219: You know, just today, I went to the Walters Art Gallery here in Baltimore to see an exhibition on repetition in art. The main part of the exhibition (there are three parts) dealt with French painters who repeatedly painted the same picture. One reason (of many) for doing so, was returning to the theme after time and looking back.

So, while I don’t think the choice of subject is randomly determined, it’s not a wholly unknown thing to do. Or maybe I’m giving Johnston too much credit.
bats :[
October 21st, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Krohmdohm: oh, god, my eyes! My eyes! What the hell happened to Funky?!?! Jeebus, I don’t see how Montoni’s is still in business with him eating the profits…and they used to make fun of Comix Guy for being fat!
The relationships are amazingly incestuous, too…how many people live in Beanville? 20? The gene pool is looking mighty shallow, and yellow.
Poteet
October 21st, 2007 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

# 235 & # 236 — Arrgh, Dariaclone and Jamus, more bad prairie books! As if Michael’s wasn’t bad enough!

I now feel compelled to state that the prairie ecosystem, which survives in areas of varying size through much of interior North America, is a beautiful landscape full of interesting plants and animals. It is not at all responsible for the unfortunate fact that some people like to use it as a setting for incredibly bad fiction. This statement has been brought to you by a prairie fanatic. Thanks and good evening.
Poteet
October 21st, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

# 239 — Sir Fable MTK, I think I kind of know what you mean. I picked out the Funkybean cast member whom I thought looked most like me (I’ll keep the name to myself to mitigate my trauma) and clicked on her image. I was immediately confronted with a body and several facial expressions that were so horrifying that I have now decided to leave the human race and join another species. I haven’t decided which one yet. Maybe the goats will let me become a goat.
Poteet
October 21st, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Wow, where is everyone else? *tosses pebble into pond*
Dariaclone
October 21st, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

#249: I did not mean to imply otherwise about the prairie. I grew up in one of the great prairie states from which some good literature about it emerged.

Also, I have a new appreciation for the prairie as my brother-in-law does prairie restoration. Or as his friends and family say, he “burns stuff” for a living.
AirForbes
October 21st, 2007 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I know it’s Lynn’s decision to print these self-referential strips, but it still feels weirdly intrusive to read them. Like she videotaped her therapy sessions and put them on YouTube or something.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 21st, 2007 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

I suggest a contest for the best paragraph from ~~Shit Soup~~, uh, I mean, Stone Season. Here’s mine:

Sheileilagh looked out over the wind-swept prairie, covered in golden wheat the color of her hair, and brushed the tentacle of wind-swept hair out her eyes, where the wind had blown it into, hair that was the color of the golden wheat that blew across the prairie like so much golden hair. She knew that she would survive these bleak times on this bleak, wind-swept prairie, because she was a strong woman, though vulnerable, but resilient and tough and beautiful and strong, too. And, most of all, she was Canadian. And Canadians are strong, she told herself. A single, bleak, piercing tear rolled down her wind-swept cheek, and she decided to leave it there, like a badge of strength. She would survive, it said.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

#254 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Haha, awesome. Reminds me of the parody writing used in the Right Behind books:

Darkness fell swiftly on Tetra. It wasn’t anything special. It was just night. But it was dark. Stars were sneaking in and out of a couple desert clouds. The bullhorn slept, and s’moring had begun around a few thousand campfires. But there was one tent, the tent where the leaders met, that had no campfire in front of it. Nor was anyone inside it. At least not anyone other than Randy Jarvis, the Antichrist. He had been laid on the table in the middle of the tent for examination by the leaders. When they had all been convinced that he was actully the Antichrist, and Buford had been reprimanded for makng him slip at the pool, the Antichrist had been shoved into a large plastic bag and left on the table.

That plastic bag, full of evil, on the table, in the middle of the tent, now stirred. Was it a breeze? Was it some evil thing come with the darkness? Something was afoot. The bag now did more that stir. It jerked and lurched, it quaked and snapped, but there was no wind in the tent. Then the bag fell off the table on to the fake sheep skin rug and stopped. But not for long. It wasn’t jerking now, it was expanding, stretching, growing thinner. A tear opened at the top and out came four fingers, followed by a hand. Then another hand. Both were followed by arms. A head emerged, slowly and painfully, wrapped in cloth. Before long the entire body crawled its way out, a body wearing nothing but its own flesh and a red Speedo.

“Mother?” it said. “Mother, are you there?” And then, exhaused, it collapsed into a deep sleep.

Speaking of bad Christian fiction…
Rainbird
October 21st, 2007 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Poteet,

I think everyone is waiting for the COTW, and thinking if they post, they will be on the wrong side of the comment page.

And so, they wait.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 21st, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @ 255: That’s not as bad as Stoned Sealskins.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

#253 — Hi, AirForbes!
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

#250 Poteet, my queen! – omg, you are already my queen. If you become a Goat Queen, well there’s just no telling what dragons I will slay for you!

The goat-eating dragons will be the first to go, of course, headed by the Dragon Lady Elly Patterson herself. It’s a win-win for us all.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

#257 The Spectacular Spider-Brick – Of course not; I was just reminded of it by your excerpt. Nothing is as bad as Stone Season.

#259 True Fable – Ooh, will there be any openings in your Motley Crew Of Ragtag Adventurers? I don’t have the undying love of goats you do, but I certainly have nothing against them, and a little dragonslaying now and again would help pass the time in my search for a lovely harpy to court.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

To Josh –

The Comics Curmudgeon’s a rigorous mistress
That grindstones your nose and turns Sunday nights blissless.
Your life would be better if it didn’t trouble you
That the world’s waiting breathless for COTW.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Burma frickin’ Shave.
Razmytaz
October 21st, 2007 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

True Fable:
One should be careful of envoking a Dragon Lady around your Queen Poteet. The vibes could be potent.
Razmytaz
October 21st, 2007 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

in… I say… INvoking
Razmytaz
October 21st, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

By the way, Poteet, are you familiar with the Milton Caniff biography, meanwhile…? I’m reading it now, and what it says about what Milt learned that makes a good cartoon strip is awesome. And clearly something that the current crop of strippers have yet to learn.
True Fable
October 21st, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

#260 commodorejohn – Come along on our merrye quest, young fry! Although we are less Motley Crewe and more Creakin’ With the Oldies, what the hell, right? I’ll tend the goats, that will leave you plenty of time to seek a comely wench when we are not questing and slaying and whatnot.

#263 Razmytaz – my queen Poteet is a jewel among mere baubles; Dragon Ladies regularly surrender their scales at her behest. In other words I ain’t worried.
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

Can you be a Goat Queen and a Pork Queen? Iowa has lots of Pork Queens.
Dariaclone
October 21st, 2007 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

#255. CommodoreJohn. Somene gave me Left Behind as a joke. I actually read it. I prefer the campy Thief in the Night better myself. But I admit I have not seen the Kirk Cameron version of Left Behind and it may just top all rapture movies of all times.
Bitter Scribe
October 21st, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

Check out this Chicago Tribune article on Lynn Johnston’s latest personal troubles. Wow. No matter how annoyed you get with the strip, no one deserves this.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

Check out this review of the Left Behind series.

It’s pretty harsh.
Dariaclone
October 21st, 2007 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

And because I’m now obsessed with Janette Oke, here’s a review of one of her made-for-tv stories. This is sounding more and more like Michael:

Times are tough for the LaHaye family but, at the beginning of “Love’s Abiding Joy,” it’s a little hard to tell. One might think a group of ranchers would have dampened spirits in the face of a drought and a cattle plague, but no, not the LaHayes; they happily go about their struggling business in a bizarrely saccharine Old West. But the demeanor of the family and the tone of the film changes abruptly when the LaHayes’ infant daughter dies in her sleep.

From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Dingo
October 21st, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

My paragraph:

Sheilaugh looked out the window toward the fields of wheat dancing like sinewy golden men in a disco bar somewhere in the distant future in a distant city that she could not see. The window was smudgy and one pane had a spider web in it but no spider. She wondered if the spider had packed its bags and left for somewhere more exciting. The web hung like an aging dowager’s vulva or the sad countenance of a bloodhound whose age was somewhere past thirteen, yet it didn’t smell as bad nor cause her to want to buy a calendar. “How many innocents did you suck in?” she thought. That web was like her husband, Henry: all legs and limbs and dangly things but nothing of substance. Sheilaugh thought he was more substantial when they met. He taught her to fly. He taught her to speak Spanish. He taught her to draw and to pour every one of her insipid private thoughts onto the canvas for him to see. And then he sucked all the life out of her. She was trapped, trapped in this house, trapped like an insect in that web. He was the flying spider; she was his Spanish fly.
commodorejohn
October 21st, 2007 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

#268 Dariaclone, #270 Uncle Lumpy – Thankfully, I never had Left Behind forced on me at a youth group showing, and I was far too sick of obsessive end-times jabber to read the books, but the various plot elements I’ve picked up have been appallingly stupid (poisoned Bibles!? And communion wine is the antidote!? That’s cheesy even for Christian fiction,) to an extent that borders on self-parody. Right Behind and Supergeddon were much better.
Dean Booth
October 21st, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

#270, Uncle L.: Fred Clark at slacktivist has been reviewing the first Left Behind book a couple of pages at a time for over a year now. I highly recommend it; some really funny stuff. LB appears to be the worst book ever written, excluding, of course, Stone Season.
Brown-eyed Girl
October 21st, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

Ok, I can’t resist. Here’s my contribution to Little Stone on the Prairie:

The lingering prairie sunset lit the golden grain like a prairie fire. Or perhaps it was a prairie fire, Sheilaugh thought to herself as she walked alone across the prairie. A fire of the soul, her soul, her soul which hadn’t been on fire for such a long time, it seemed, but now felt gloriously kindled by the blazing crimson, vermillion and azure spread of sunset across the endless horizon. I have a stone in my shoe, thought Sheilaugh, but what is my pain compared to this endless, colorful, infinite sky. I offer my pain to the universe, thought Sheilaugh, as she limped toward the glorious riot of colors in the west, knowing she would never reach them but determined to try, to strive, to never give in, to never say die, to keep on toward the dream of color, her long shadow stretching out dark behind her toward the on-coming night behind.
CrabbyGenes
October 21st, 2007 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Well, I’m breaking one of my own rules here by posting a parody of a song that’s not widely known. But anyone who’s a fan of the late Ella Fitzgerald might recognize it.

Inspired by comments #256 (Rainbird) and #261 (Uncle Lumpy), here it is.

(To the tune of “Just A-sittin’ and A-rockin” by the First Lady of Song, Ella Fitzgerald)

I don’t go out walking
I aint for no talking
Just waitin for the comments
Just a sittin and a rockin

If I had been scheming
Instead of just dreaming
I’d be gettin somethin done here
Not just a sittin and a rockin

Sittin all day with no C-O-T-dubya,
Makes me so blue and sad
If Josh don’t hurry and post soon
Its a cinch to drive me mad

Now if you don’t find him
I hope you’ll remind him
That I’m gettin nothin done here
Just a sittin and a rockin
All day
CrabbyGenes
October 21st, 2007 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

Attention, TRUE FABLE!!

In the review linked to by Uncle Lumpy #270, there are reports of blatant GOAT ABUSE!

If you’re out there reading, please post a cute goat picture or two so that I will say “Awww…” and stop laughing my head off at some of the descriptions in the review.

Thank you.
boojum
October 21st, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

#268 Dariaclone, #270 Uncle Lumpy

The Left Behind books and their spawn have always reminded me of Flannery O’Connor (a Christian writer who knew what the hell she was doing) and her dismissal of so much pious Christian literature: “Guaranteed to corrupt nothing but your taste.”
CrabbyGenes
October 21st, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

my #276. Well, I’m starting to reconsider, here.

After reading #254 SpiderBrick, #272 Dingo, and #275 Brown-Eyed-Girl (and laughing like an idiot at all three), I’m actually starting to hope that the COTW post will be delayed for a time, so more attempts will be posted!

Either way, I’m still not getting anything done here. What the heck.
Uncle Lumpy
October 21st, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

#278 boojum –

I loves me some Flannery O’Connor — Singer is one of my favorite characters in fiction, and Alan Arkin’s finest film role.

BTW, you somehow seem uniquely qualified to snark – wonder what that is?
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 21st, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Did anyone notice in that new Funky Winkerbean cast page that Funky’s new wife Holly is a… *choke*… a breast cancer survivor?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Characters may croak, but the endless horror that is FW will never die.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
October 21st, 2007 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

Mis-linked to the cast art page. This is the page where you can mouse over to see the character descriptions.
Pansy Yokum
October 21st, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

Mr. Fable, sir:

If you haven’t already, follow Josh’s link above to “BayeauxRhythmns” at Project Wonderful and go back to the first strip.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 21st, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

Well people, it’s late in the day and late in the thread. Still, I thought I’d give the “Stone Season” competition a try.

The wagon had stopped on the rough, greass-strewn plain. Sheilagh and her fellow pioneers sat in the moonlight, preparing for sleep. It was cold, cold enough for Sheilagh to see her own breath. A half-Cree guide perched on a stone. She could see his breath as well. Reverend Cullen stood with his hand on the shoulder of his young bride. Sheilagh could see his breath too. And hers. Also that of the rugged driver. So much breath, Sheilagh reflected. And all of it directed toward the same purpose. That of breathing, of statying alive.
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 21st, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

Uh that’s “staying alive.” You can never self-edit enough.
bats :[
October 21st, 2007 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

A peek at the Monday funnies:

DtM: “No, Henry, Dennis is our hell on earth.”

FW: another decent strip. Three for three, Batuiuiuik!

MT: it’s SHIRLEY! Quack……AAAAH!

MW: The Return of the Medi (or Meddle. or something…)

Mutts: yay! Bats!

RMMD: I think Rex needs stop the car, drag Niki out of the passenger seat, and slap him around a bit, to knock that teen ‘tude out of him. Yeah. And maybe bend him over the front fender of the car, and…and…
(oh, damn, there I go, channeling Dingo).
AMC
October 21st, 2007 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

Stone Season paragraph of excellence:

The waiter walked through the high prarie grass with his phallic wooden grinder proudly held in both hands. He stopped at the table, by the wheat field that was the color of the blowing hair of the lonely but strong woman sitting at the the cafe table that had been sitting in the middle of the Canadian prarie for what seemed like 4Evah. “Would you like some ground stone on your salad ma’am?” he asked before tripping on a tangle of lush Canadian wheat, falling to all fours before raising up and looking at the woman, balefully. “Shillelagh, you’ve got me on my knees.” he wailed, before the piano solo drowned out his words, but not his soulful brown Canadian waiter eyes.
Brown-eyed Girl
October 21st, 2007 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

I’ve never read the Left Behind books, but I confess I have a weakness for religious conspiracies-Armageddon-antichrist stories. I’ve found the quality of writing in this genre to be pretty low for both secular and Christian authors.
boojum
October 21st, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

280 Uncle Lumpy –

Uh, all respect, but I believe that’s Carson McCullers. Have you had a chance to read O’Connor’s Letters, The Habit of Being? Check out her description of the early TV adaptation of “The Life You Save May Be Your Own,” starring Gene Kelly (!) in his first dramatic role. Classic. The woman makes me laugh so hard I have to excuse myself.

And sometimes the snark IS a boojum.
Brown-eyed Girl
October 21st, 2007 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

285. AFKA Ben. Aaagh! BeeGees! BeeGees have invaded my brain! Aaagh!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 21st, 2007 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

#290 Brown-eyed girl: Tragedy!
RaJ
October 21st, 2007 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

Apartment 3 G, 10/22:

Margo knocks on the door.

Ruby pokes her head out of the bathroom. She is wearing a shower cap.

Margo sees Ruby and assumes that she is masturbating in the shower.

Margo apparently believes that it’s normal to have orgasms so explosive that it’s necessary to wear headgear, in order to keep oneself out of one’s own hair.

Margo is, also, apparently very impatient when she feels it is her turn to masturbate.

Truly, the bathroom of Apartment 3 G must smell like 1,000 crushed dreams.
Jym
October 21st, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

=204= A3G (the opoponax): Ah yes, when I was thinking of somewhere near downtown, Bo/Co/Ca came to mind. There are actually some nice old apartment buildings there where “3G” is possible (I lived in one), and I could certainly see some living-in-the-60s types setting up shop there. I also lived in one of those fantastic apartment buildings at the northern extreme of Flatbush, though my neighbors were emphatically more Caribbean than those we see in the background art of A3G.

=229= FW (Wayne): Even less believable than Westview-to-Manhattan express service is the notion that NYC has a burgeoning market for Ohio-style pizza.
Baka Gaijin
October 21st, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

Another peek at Monday’s strips:

A3G: Oh no you di-int, Ruby!

MW: Finally deign to show up in your eponymous strip, huh Mary? Where’s the tuna casserole? Coffee won’t cut it. You’re way behind in your biddying. We should have called Ella in from Florida. I’m sure she could have meddled Vera over Kelrast Curve by now.
Broken Skittles
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:03 am [Reply]

So, I tried my hand at an excerpt. I think I may have tried too hard at emulating the great master Patterfoob, though…

It was cold. Too cold. Colder than cold oatmeal left on the front porch on December 4. Which Sheilalala had done. Left her oatmeal on the porch, on December 4, and it was now cold, cold like the air that made her eyes cry tears just from the cold that quickly became cold tears which quickly became cold tear-crystals which fell off her face and onto the cold porch, making noises like angels’ wings as they bounced up and down like tiny rubber balls, except that they were rubber balls made of crystals.

Tear crystals.

As she cried, Sheipala glanced at the wheat. The wheat had snow all over it. The wheat was also dead. Sheilalalarghh looked over her field of fallen, dead, frost-bitten wheat and wondered why she had not harvested it sooner, like October or something. She wasn’t that good at farming, but she knew that December was definitely too late for harvesting wheat. Now she was going to be forced to make bread from frozen, rotten, frost-bitten wheat that was really cold. Of course, there was nothing to do about that. So Sheilaaaack got out her hoe and started hoeing up some wheat. She swung her first hoe swing, and the hoe dug into the frozen ground with a satisfying hoe noise. Maybe she wouldn’t have to eat stones for dinner after all.
Helena Handbasket
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

Sheilagh looked out across the windswept prairie. It’s life lay hidden beneath the illusion of barreness, she thought, much like her own. Sheilagh knew, with the certainty of a woman who had seen the prairie erupt into life as wildfire chased jack rabbits and prairie chickens to the safety of the creek behind the bluffs, that even life kept stifled and hidden would one day emerge into the open. In a moment of clarity, she knew that one day her own spiritual fire would send her spirit fountaining into prominence, like the spring that fed her garden and gave water to what scanty livestock they were able to afford. In that moment, she knew her own hidden strength, the strength of her name. A woman needed a name like “Sheilagh” on the prairie, a name that held the key to her ancestry, a name that spoke of extra letters of endurance pounded into the shorter “shiela” by years of oppression. Sheilagh looked out over her tiny piece of earth, the only thing she truly owned now that the fire had destroyed their years of work on the farm, and felt the wild freedom of the prairie enter her soul and comfort her. Then the moment faded, and she picked up the pitchfork.
Helena Handbasket
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

GAH! Obviously “its” not “it’s” I claim refuge from grammar because I am ill!
Uncle Lumpy
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

#289 boojum –

Uh, all respect, but I believe that’s Carson McCullers.

Ack! No respect required! I had them both filed under “Authors, Lady, Southern.”

Damn you, Dewey Decimal System – Damn you to Hell!
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

#290 BEG
Sorry. No harm meant. And for that matter nobody gets too much heaven no more.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

# 256 — Rainbird, thanks for reminding me of the obvious. Nevertheless, I’m baaaack…

# 259 — Sir Fable MTK, your constant devotion is so touching. If I could, I’d put flocks and choruses of the world’s cutest goats constantly at your command (and attended by attractive goatherds, of course).

# 265 — Razmytaz, thanks for the info! That biography sounds very interesting. And yes, Milt on a so-so day is better than some cartoonists at their best.
Frank Parsnip
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo is having a hell of a great week! “Aim lower!” Ha! But if “looking presentable” primarily involves the shower instead of the makeup counter, Ruby’s got some serious hygiene problems. And if Margo rushes things too much, Ruby may well leave the shower with the drains still clogged with a rather nasty accumulation of body hair, Aristotle goo, and little bits of sodden toilet paper now freed from her enormous buttcrack by the pulsating shower jets. No, it’s wisest to let Ruby have all the damn time she needs.

Beatle Bailey: Just the other day, I was wondering when Beetle and Sarge would start to put their love into words. No, Beetle, your love will not be requited except in ultimately sad ways when Sarge beats you and then makes love to your mouth.

DtM: In this “reality show,” the only prize is the fact that in exchange for eternal servitude the parents never age. Mr. Wilson sweats so much because he knows that as the oldest cast member he’s likely to be the first one who’ll die if DtM is ever cut loose.

Curtis: The conehead barber knows everything because he’s been using advanced alien technology to monitor your personal life. Go ahead and ask him about your scalp…

MT: As further proof that Shirley (the not-duck) is a freakish Roberta Muldoon lookalike, when Homer picks her up a few inches in the third panel you can still tell that she’s a good 2 feet taller than him.

MW: Think carefully Vera… this is, after all, a man who wears swordfish T-shirts, has framed pictures of Conestoga wagons on his wall, and gave himself a ginormous bouquet of roses in the wake of the breakup when you and Dawn got a frickin’ 3-flower “thanks for playing” cheapo corsage.

RMMD: Again with the psychodrama over “disappointing” Rex… this time over a frickin’ map.

Niki: Sorry, I left the map back at the store. I screwed up.

Rex: It’s OK… I’ll just drive us on to the “Enchanted Hunter” motor lodge.

Niki: Yeah, but I disappointed you. I didn’t want to disappoint you.

Rex: No, really it’s OK … it really doesn’t matter to me whether or not we make it to the Forest Service campgrounds or not. A nice out-of-the-way motel would also allow us to share room service and a hot tub.

Niki: Perhaps I could run back and get the map. I can’t believe I messed up so badly! Please let me go back and get it. I’ll bring it back to you on my hands and knees.

Rex: Look, I’m going to choose my own time and place to humiliate you. And I’m going to have to preserve those knees of yours for later. Now, shut the hell up and get back “in character”. Remember, you’re supposed to be a “boy I’m taking fishing”, and that’s what I paid your mom the big bucks for.

Jugs Parker: I was so hoping that Trudi would yell: “NO, KEITH! Let me get my dress back first!” Then Trudi would use her long nails to scratch the bodypaint off Busty Duncan, thus bringing them to the best catfight since Heathcliff and Garfield found the same punchline 25 years ago. But Busty somehow got outside, and it will be up to Sam to get the dress off and returnd to Trudi.

GT: Boyd Henry, played by a young Beau Bridges, is bad news. Howard’s already looked up the multiple homicides attributed to Boyd, who has already been banned from everything from pretending to be a pro wrestler down to pro tiddlywinks champion. Boyd knew a hundred ways to put an eye out before he was 5 years old.
boojum
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

Can anyone play?

The sun rose, as it always did, as it was meant to do, as it must – a blazing glory of golden life over the vast Canadian prairie. Sheilaugh stood transfixed, her eyes raking the landscape before her, but she knew it was too vast, too grand, for any rake ever to tame it. No, it would be forever free, harrowed only by the wind that now caressed its burgeoning vastness. “Why,” she thought suddenly, “it’s like a metaphor, a symbol.” And what of herself? She of the wind-whipped hair and tawny fruitfulness, so full of life and dreams? Could she, herself, be a metaphor? Could any man consider her as such, and in so doing bind and limit her uniqueness, her magnificent expanse of soul, into a mere collection of words? Would any man dare the attempt? She began to imagine him – an unknown figure down the long miles of the future, a timid milkweed of a thing, his own soul as flat and empty as the prairie, so that he had no richness of his own, but had to suck her life for its sweetness the way she might squeeze the juice from a grape. “Christ,” she thought, and shuddered at the vision. “Christ, what an asshole.”
benzo
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

10/22/07

Archie: Ah, text messaging jokes. How horribly antiquated and-HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!!! ARCHIE IS THE SCHOOL QUARTERBACK?!!!!!!

You’d think this would come up more.

GT: Oh and like a guy who body slams people to death isn’t.

MT: No surprise, the first thing this imbalanced weirdo does when he sees his ex-wife is physically assault her. Honestly, who cares if she actually takes him back? If she doesn’t, he can always go find some animal to stand in for his crippling over-possessive tendencies.
Godzooky
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

#286 bats :[ re: Rex bending Niki over: Since homosexuality doesn’t equal pedophilia (though pedophiles can be homosexual), you might be channeling this guy rather than Dingo.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:28 am [Reply]

# 252 — Dariaclone, I did not mean to imply that you were dissing prairies in any way, sorry. It’s Michael and the Prairie School of Atrocious Prose that I was trying to blame. And yay for your brother-in-law, wherever he may burn. (Not Iowa, by chance?)

To all the extremely excellent Stone Season paragraph writers (sorry not to list you all, trying to get this in before the thread ends) —
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you!!!! My cardiovascular system feels SO much better now.
Brown-eyed Girl
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

299. AFKA Ben. You are a bad, bad man.
Poteet
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:31 am [Reply]

DT — From what I’ve experienced in large old houses, the most horrifying aspect of this Haunted Mansion storyline will be watching fifteen so-called “town celebrities” attempting to share one ancient bathroom.
Godzooky
October 22nd, 2007 at 12:50 am [Reply]

#286 bats :[ & #304 me: Though if you were referring to channeling Dingo’s knack for eroticized commentary, never mind.
McDermott
October 22nd, 2007 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Yes! DICK TRACY has officially sunk to the lowest level any ongoing story can go: The “let’s stay overnight in a haunted house!” plot! Wha’ hoppen? The “evil twin” plotline has used sometime in the past 70 years?
SNF
October 22nd, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Never mind the torn-off sleeves, that thing has a torn-off collar. Was it a turtleneck before? That’s pretty hardass.
Colinski
October 22nd, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

Looking at all the hairstyles that seem to get increasingly impractical and bizarre, I can’t help but wondering, was Gil Thorp’s artist in Flock of Seagulls?
bats :[
October 22nd, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

308. Godzooky: yeah, I was going for the eroticized commentary. Somehow, I think that the term “musky pink butthole” is going to haunt me until my dying day…
MechTeach
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

I’ve scrolled through all of the comments, and maybe I just missed it, but I can’t believe that no one noticed a Cassandra Cat lookalike on Summer’s 10/20/07 T-shirt….
Niall
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

MechTeach: yes, the comments definitely noticed it, either in this or the next thread…
Carly
December 20th, 2007 at 1:50 am [Reply]

This prompted a brain fart where I can’t remember the name of Spears’ ex. (Either one of them, for that matter.) I can, however, remember my governor’s name. Whew.
Thomas Carter
March 24th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

i looove this song!! it definitly stands out!!

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