The Comics Curmudgeon

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Every dog has his day

Mary Worth, 10/31/07

Goodness! Could this dog-loving chinbearded baby-blue-sweatshirt-clad behemoth really be our Professor Cameron? At first flush it seems likely, because honestly, how many portly white-haired gentlemen sporting Amish-style facial hair could there really be within biking radius of Charterstone? But this individual has jawline-length hair, like some sort of damn hippie, and, more troubling, is showing the sort of pure, selfless love required of dog owners, rather than sneering superciliously at the mutt’s need for affection. Perhaps Ian keeps this dog hidden away somewhere for those times when he wants to feel genuine, positive emotions. Then when he’s done he goes back to Charterstone, grumps at everyone, and makes sure the “no pets” clause stays in the condo rules.

Apartment 3-G, 10/31/07

OK, who’s with me on TEAM SAM? Clearly Margo needs to cool it with the chasing of the unattainable wealthy jerks and see the handsome young thing right in front of her (or, in this case, just on the other side of the lightning-bolt-shaped panel divider indicating electronic communication). Sure, Sam doesn’t have much to offer by way of money, but he can provide the one thing Margo needs most: total puppy-eyed devotion to Margo. Magee’s a top, and she needs to find a bottom to make her happy.

Family Circus, 10/31/07

Today’s Family Circus actually made me laugh. The jack-o’-lantern really seems to have a pretty convincing of expression of mingled horror and disgust. It’s not as horrified as a person would be watching someone eat a pie made out of human brains, but still.

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/07

Tip for you, Dennis:

“We’ll skip this house ’cause they only give out toothbrushes and healthy stuff”: Not menacing.

“We’ll burn this motherfucking house to the ground ’cause they only give out toothbrushes and healthy stuff”: Menacing.

I’m here to help.

Archie, 10/31/07

The Archie Joke-Generating Laugh Unit 3000’s total unfamiliarity with organic matter rears its ugly head again. There are few things more stomach turning than the idea of Jughead pushing his head through a hole hollowed out in the middle of what has to be a forty-pound hamburger. There aren’t any visible suspenders or anything, so the key question is: What’s holding it up? Mayonnaise and rapidly congealing American cheese, no doubt. Our Keystone Kop ought to end this crime against food with by beating Jughead senseless with his baton right now before that manhole-sized ground beef patty starts to go bad.

For Better Or For Worse, 10/31/07

Say what you will about the new hybrid FBOFW, but it did allow us to see Michael Patterson getting hit in the face.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 31, 2007 at 12:49 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Archie, Dennis the Menace, Family Circus, For Better or for Worse, Mary Worth. |

199 responses to “Every dog has his day”

Olde Goat
October 31st, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Amish Hippie? Well, I’ll be…
Alex
October 31st, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

That Keystone Kop must be benefiting from the PATRIOT Act. He’s everywhere!
Rainbird
October 31st, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth What I was wondering was why Professor Chinbeard was doing out in the middle of nowhere, petting his dog. Is it yet another flash-back from the days when Mary Worth hung out with hippies?
K.T. Slager
October 31st, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

Apparently Mary has gained the power to teleport… or at least shift the world’s perspective to her very whim. Maybe the bike does it.
Hank
October 31st, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

RE: Mary Worth. That’s not a dog. It’s an immature Wookie.
Matt Algren
October 31st, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Jughead’s left arm is inside the hamburger costume. One can guess why.

Therefore, it’s definitely mayonnaise, or at least a mayonnaise-like substance, holding the costume on.
seanman
October 31st, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

FW…so from the look of things, cellphones won’t get much smaller in 10 years.

(“Dollface”? Is this some kind of adolescent George Raft, just escaped from Reform School?)
teegee
October 31st, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Archie: Let’s see … Jughead slides giant burger up over waist … Jughead gets excited about giant burger … Giant burger is held up somehow …

Ewww.
El Santo
October 31st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Daggummit! That WAS a good Family Circus! A positively “Far Side” worthy joke, even.
Evan
October 31st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Also un-menacing – taking the time to draw a completely unnecessary (even to the joke, say nothing of real life) map of the neighborhood when one could be egging houses instead.
Mariko
October 31st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

The cop in Archie . . . is that Veronica’s father?
Steve-O
October 31st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

I don’t know who the little kid in the clown costume is, but it should be Dennis dressed up like that. Clowns are SINISTER.

And also menacing.
zenvelo
October 31st, 2007 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

why is that dog in MW wearing pearls?
JamesinMaine
October 31st, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

It has become clear that Margo’s plaything Sam (aka “Sam”) is living the future life of the oldest son of Mark Trail’s Johnny Lamoustache (let’s call him “Paul”). If they are indeed separate persons — unlikely since today’s strips allow a DNA-quality match — they undoubtedly share at least a father. Long ago, did Johnny paddle his birchbark canoe down the Hudson River to canoodle with a woman of loose morals in wicked New York City? And if so, who will Mark punch?
Ces
October 31st, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Happy Halloween All!
http://francescoexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2007/10/happy-halloween.html
kevin
October 31st, 2007 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Is it too much to ask that 3G artists develop at least one more male hairstyle? I’m really tired of every guy sporting “the dry look” from the seventies in a different hue. I suspect under his cowboy hat that even Blaze has fallen prey to it’s insidiousness.
Sirkus Peanuts
October 31st, 2007 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

It’s dawned on me that For Better or For Worse has transformed itself into the Sound and the Fury, only with Michael as a slightly more eloquent Benjy. Slightly.
JamesinMaine
October 31st, 2007 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

MW: “There’s a lot to be said about learning from our four-footed friends. Like, for example, a good way to fuck.”
Plus a constant
October 31st, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

Occam’s Razor would suggest that Ian keeps the dog hidden away in his beard. It feeds on errant crumbs and dribbled soup.
TB Tabby
October 31st, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Favorite Halloween costumes I’ve seen in the comics by category:

Funniest: Grandpa as San Diego (NAoQV)
Most Imaginative: Gracie & friend as a person sliced in half (Baldo)
Sexiest: Marla as Mrs. Incredible (Retail)
Best Handmade: Heart as Satine (HotC)

If you disgree with my choices, feel free to fly into profanity-laden fits of rage.
Genetic_Mishap
October 31st, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

That copypasta cop in Archie is creeping me out. He just doesn’t move. I imagine him floating about, supernaturally spooky like.
dyslexic dog
October 31st, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

FC, FOOB: Meanness all over seems to connote that Billy may intend to take that forkful of pumpkin pie and springboard it smack into Dolly’s impertinent face.
Ginger Yellow
October 31st, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

“Animals love with simplicity and purity”

Clearly MW is not a cat person. Which is rather counterintuitive.
Spunky N. Tadpole
October 31st, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

#4:

No powers of parakinesis are needed here, I think: Mary has simply ridden her bike past the Elderly Amish Hippie, then done a quick 180-degree wheelie-spin in order to end up in front of him facing in the other direction.

EAH must really love his dog* though: he seems to keep on playing with it apparently oblivious to the fact that an old lady with a red bowl on her head has just done weird bike maneuvers right in front of him! Maybe he’s blind?

* or wookie, or were-beast (that paw looks disturbingly like a hand), or whatever it is…
Gal Friday
October 31st, 2007 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

MW: No snark for Mary’s scarlet helmet that matches her bike attire?

(DT) GT: I like how Milford is completely resigned to its fate as practical joke victim: “Oh man, Central burned down our school building and castrated our mascot. At least they didn’t ruin the lawn.”
dimestore lipstick
October 31st, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

Re: The late, great Goulet
Four things that told me he had a wicked sense of humor:
His guest spot on The Simpson’s, TV Funhouse, the Emerald Nuts ads, and this:
http://www.gouletbars.com/

Adieu, Sir Lancelot…
Gal Friday
October 31st, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

RIP Goulet! Don’t forget Naked Gun 2 1/2!
RaJ
October 31st, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

See, I find this Mary Worth strip enraging. The artist is clearly mocking us: “Sure, I’m capable of drawing hair that flows naturally, that doesn’t resemble a helmet or a broom, or the silhouette of fire. Wait, you want to see realistic hair on one of my *humans*? Bitches, please.”

I’d be more enthusiastic about the Margo/Sam pairing if Sam weren’t 12 years old. Like, isn’t that a Fischer Price phone in his hand? And if the camera drew back, wouldn’t the odds be pretty good that he’s sitting on the rug in his underwear, covered in army men? Who are currently at war with the cast of Dragonball Z? At least, that’s what I see when I look at this guy. Well, that, and ears that are fucking musical.

Michael Patterson getting hit in the face is pretty sweet. However, I’m still waiting for him to get shot in the foot. Sweeter!
Bobchillingworth
October 31st, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

I’m afraid that I have to disagree with Mary’s advice to learn love from dogs. The thought of everyone at Charterstone humping whatever they can see is simply a bit too horrifying / awesome to bear.

Oh, and in totally unrelated news, Skyrmir from Prince Valiant is Santa Claus. I’m calling that one early.
dale
October 31st, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Thank you for not writing, “Every dog has it’s day”.

Speaking of holiday cookery: Are the turkey weight to cooking time tables directly applicable to human babies?
Ben
October 31st, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

I am of the opinion that GWOWG is a stupid thing to yell, banzai-like, when punching someone in the nose.
queek
October 31st, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

It may not be the CotW float, but Dingo seems to have made it to I Can Has Cheezburger.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/lolcats-funny-pictures-dingo-has-my-baby.jpg
Loopina
October 31st, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Marvin: a Chihuahua already *is* a tiny dog with huge anger management issues.

And a bulldog (from monday’s strip) already is high maintenance – those wrinkles on the face get mucky and have to be cleaned out with Q-Tips (not pretty). They’re gassy, prone to skin infections, heatstroke, all kinds of congenital problems, and can’t mate or give birth without assistance.
Big Sims
October 31st, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

MW – Does anyone use the phrase “four-footed friends”? Back when my buddies smoked pot and Al Gore had just invented the internet, we used to run poems through 10 different languages with computer translators, then back to English and see if we could identify the original work. We thought this was wildly funny. Is that how the writers for Mary Worth work? Who translated ‘1.3 Metered’ to Four-Footed anyway, and are there enough pretzels in the world to sate this guy’s munchies?

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I breaking my self-imposed silence of all of 3 days or whatever… I can’t quit y’all, y’all should’ve seen me quit cigarettes…
Gabe
October 31st, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

The artist for MW is, in fact, an incredibly competent and accomplished artist. Anyone who’s seen his work on the Batman comics can attest to that.

Why he draws like he does in MW is anyone’s guess. Strip size limitations, etc.
Mad Dog Rackham
October 31st, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

#29 Bobchillingworth: I was also headed in the direction of all Charterstone practicing dog-style love, but the thought of Wilbur constantly licking his balls stopped me cold.
Gabe
October 31st, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

Sims: This is why I didn’t say goodbye. I knew you couldn’t quit us.
Pozzo
October 31st, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

I’m imagining the lightning bolt in A3G accompanied by a Capt, Marvel-like sound effect:

“What’s up, Sam?”

KER-POW!!!!!

“Margo! Thank goodness you called!…”

“…You have a way with difficult women!”

KER-POW!!!!!

“Yeah, right! I learned it from you!”

Livens things up, anyway.
Pozzo
October 31st, 2007 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

BTW, Sam — Goodness had nothing to do with it…
Keg of Curd
October 31st, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

My exact words on seeing today’s FBOFW were, “HA! Take that, you little son of a bitch.”
Rarely-Posts
October 31st, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Ces #15 – Thanks for the link and Happy Halloween also! Awesome! (And no, Josh, you didn’t cross the line — much.)
buschap
October 31st, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

MW: I think it’s Bill Gaines, back from the dead.
Hank
October 31st, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

RE: Apt 3G. Sam is obviously the stereotypical gay and understanding sidekick that, according to all television shows produced after 1995, every group of young single women in New York have to possess.
Ces
October 31st, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

One other thing: Who would like to see Dan Piraro of “Bizarro” fame wearing a trash bag and being interviewed in a tiny NYC bathtub–actually, my tub–for Nerve.com? (Okay, that sounds far more sordid than I meant it to be and please ignore all credits)

Anyway, here’s the link:
http://www.nerve.com/video/Video.aspx?VideoItemId=457&PageIndex=0
Barry339
October 31st, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

FW: Me like the “10 years later” theme. Because of Les’ overprotectiveness, we will be treated to hot, clandestine, underage sex. As a bonus, we also get a front row seat to Cindy getting it on with some lucky high school guy.
Mountain Mama
October 31st, 2007 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

That can’t be Ian in today’s MW. I don’t think he’d let Toby touch him, let alone a dog.

And how that second panel is drawn? It makes my mind go to places it shouldn’t and that is the scariest thing I’ll see today, I’m sure. Thanks, MW artists!
Paperdummy
October 31st, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

No comments about Jimbo “ice cream truck dick in a box” from Rose is Rose?
smoke
October 31st, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Billy has awkward table manners. Why is he laying across the table in that fashion?
ravenlogic
October 31st, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Perhaps this has been mentioned previously but doesn’t it appear as though Mary turned around after passing Whitebeard? In the first panel he’s to Mary’s left and in the second panel, he’s to her right. Looks like Mary needs her trail marked.
Toonhead
October 31st, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Re: MW – Is Giella capable of drawing both a beard and a mustache on the same face?
McManx
October 31st, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

MW – Panel 1, Mary rides down the hill past mystery chinbeard playing with his dog. Panel 2, Mary is on the return trip apparently hours later, as chinbeard has had time to get a haircut before return to his canine capers.

I don’t think this is Cameron chinbeard because they don’t seem to recognize each other with their customary pleasantries — “Hello Bastard…” “Top o’ the day to you Cunt…”

FC – What’s really scary (and what the kids are too stupid to recognize) is that the Jack o’lantern is looking inside through the window — meaning it has gained the power of locomotion and soon will exact a terrible revenge for Billy’s carnage.
Wazoo
October 31st, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Apparently, Ian already knows about learning love from dogs, as the one he’s walking looks creepily like him and has hands instead of paws. Hopefully he’s walking the man-dog hybrid to a quiet, secluded area to shoot him in the head.
Just_human
October 31st, 2007 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

Archie’s comic is preceded by the words “Dennis the Menace”.
BlinkAndItsOver
October 31st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

FC: Don’t you usually position the jack o’ lantern so that the lighted face looks out the window, toward the street? Or is “pumpkin ass” the prevailing Halloween decorating theme in the Keane neighborhood this year?
Josh
October 31st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

#47 Paperdummy — I absolutely, positively refuse to read Rose is Rose, lest I fall into some sort of insulin-overload coma. Not even your delightfully bizarre description of today’s strip can convince me to look.

#53 Just_human — Eeps, you’re right! I fixed.

Josh
Jeremymlad
October 31st, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

#6 – if the substance you’re familiar with is remotely mayonnaise-like, get thee to a doctor!
Ghost Riders in the Foob
October 31st, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s MW will have the bold dashed line explaining all of Mary’s bicycle twists and turns.
Brown-eyed Girl
October 31st, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

15. Ces. I loved it!

Re: Archie. I went to a Halloween party where someone had an edible costume (She stapled vegetables to a jacket and hat and called herself a salad). Although there were vegetables on the snack table, the children at the party prefered to nibble on her cosutme. It was both cute and creepy.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled snarking.
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

It was autumn in north-central California and I had decided that morning to take a stroll down New Country Road with my faithful companion, Hamish. “Antsier” as I called — N-C-R, eh? — was nothing more than a horny highway of highly-hued harridans hankering to hone in on hunky he-men to hook up and hoist their holes off of their bicycles seats and onto the fleshy poles of sweet, uncircumcised love that they’d known as young women. I put on my tightest pair of chinos; yeah, a 48″ waist on me makes my package jut out like Jay Leno’s chin. I found a blue sweatshirt on the floor. Lord knows when it dropped there but the musky smell of my manhood and last week’s chalupas made it a babe magnet. I combed my hair into a Feral Farrah and trimmed the hair above my upper lip. My dear departed wife loved that look. She was from Lancaster county in Pennsylvania and said it gave me a Pennsylvania Deutsch look. She’d call us “Amish and Hamish” and laugh ’til her vagina got wet.

I walked Hamish down to my favorite spot on the road: the Ass-Drillin’ Fence. My twin brother, Ian, had told me about it. Seems he and his wife, Toby, were out walking one day and spotted the fence. It’s in an isolated part of the county with lots of trees for cover. Well, Toby is a frisky young thing with a split personality. Around her friends at Charterstone — the asylum where they live — she’s prim and proper and prone to wearing tennis outfits or jogging togs even though she’s never hit a ball that didn’t have a penis in front of it or worked up a sweat that didn’t involve being tag teamed by her husband and me. Toby saw that fence and just had to be bo-fo’d against it. Ian loves to buttfuck himself a woman. It’s tighter, offers better gripping action, and y’don’t have to worry about babies. He told Toby to grab for that fence like she was Condileeza Rice trying to reach an alibi and fucked the shit out of her; that’s the one downside to anal sex. Luckily, out in the open you can blame it on a deer.

So I was standing there with Hamish strutting my wares like a peacock when along comes this Bodacious Betsy on a bicycle. She had everything a man needs in life: a pulse, a purse, and a puss. Her basket was almost as big as mine… but empty. She saw me and I could see in her eyes that her heart fluttered. She was dressed for sex: her jacket, bicycling helmet, and lipstick matched, I’m sure, her ruby red nipples; her peach-colored cravat was spread open in a manner that I’m sure was to convey what her lady parts would do for me momentarily. I gave Hamish “the eye.” It was code between him and me as to when to act cute and cuddly and sweet so that the ladies would want to stroke him… and possibly me.

“What a cuuuute dog.” she said, bending over to pet Hamish. “And what interesting feet.”

I paused. “They’re paws, Ma’am. He’s a dog. Dogs have paws; people have feet.”

She stared me in the eyes with a smoldering look that said, although her body was approaching eighty, her inner loins yearned for a man with the eagerness of a teenage girl.

“Well,” she said seductively, “I don’t care if you have a foot. But… it does look to me like at least nine inches.”
philip
October 31st, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Is Mary losing her ability to concentrate? Why did she have to pass Hippie Chinbeard, then turn around and stop to finish her platitudinizing?
dyslexic dog
October 31st, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

#49 – I’d say Mary was pedaling along, lost in her purity-of-animals reverie, when all of a sudden she realized she had just passed one (an animal). It would have been awesome if Giella had actually shown the whirling wheelie Mary had popped, with neither helmet nor hair disturbed.
Little Guy
October 31st, 2007 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

GWONG!

Finally! A FOOB that’s LOL! (GWONG is my new name for it.)

Candorville: I don’t care. At least next week, the Blonde is gone (I hope!)
Artist formerly known as Ben
October 31st, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

“We’ll burn this motherfucking house to the ground ’cause they only give out toothbrushes and healthy stuff”: Menacing.

Word. Especially when you have a creepy knee-high clown with you.
Bitter Scribe
October 31st, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

“The Simpsons” made that same “Dennis the Menace” joke: “Flanders is giving out toothpaste. Mini toothpaste.” Oh, well, if you’re going to steal, steal from something funny.

(And no, I’m not one of those Simpsons geeks who has memorized every episode. It’s just that they’re rerunning all the Halloween episodes, which is one reason I love this time of year.)
Saluki
October 31st, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

I’m reposting this from yesterthread because I’m freaked out that THE CROC IS EATING THE ZEBRA!

Like the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, like Charlie Brown kicking a sixty yard field goal, and like Lisa Moore surviving breast cancer, I was privileged to witness something today that I never thought I would see in my lifetime. It appears that Mr. Croc is eating the Zebra. This is truly a historic day. In the wild crocs catch zebras by disguising themselves as logs in water. However after the crocs moved to the suburbs this wasn’t an option so they resorted to trying to disguise themselves as other things – sometimes with fatal results to the croc collaborators. The flaw in this system was that “people” get suspicious when the see others in disguise. Doing it on Halloween when you’re expected to be in costume is pure genius. Bravo Mr. Croc, bravo. Meeshun Akkompished indeed. Well played.
Carolyn B
October 31st, 2007 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

A lot to learn from animals, eh?

Next panel: Mary Worth and the Professor getting it on, doggy-style.
Lammergeier13
October 31st, 2007 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Has anyone checked out Gasoline Alley? It’s pretty lame, until you notice that the demon-creature seems to be humping the letter ‘A’. It also seems to be enjoying it. Go letter-humping demon-creature!
AhClem
October 31st, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

FOOB -
Liz, Liz, Liz. You had the chance to do the world a huge favor, and you absolutely blew it. Instead of hitting Michael in the face, you should have smashed his HAND, rendering him incapable of operating a computer keyboard for the rest of his life.

Stone Season is the tragic result of your misstep. The world will never forgive you for this crime against humanity.
Gabacho
October 31st, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – I am fighting mightily to banish the thought bubble that goes “and with just a little bit of peanut butter, our four legged friend can be trained to…” Ahhhh. I have to go burn my clothes and take a scalding shower.
Calico
October 31st, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

MW – that is not Chinbeard, that is Carl Wilson if he were alive today.
BTW, dog and man look quite alike. This phenomenon happens to several pet owners.
What if Mary discovers roadkill? So much for her pastoral reverie.

#189 yesterthread –
“Git up, paw, you’re crushin’ my smokes!”

Happy Halloween Curmudgeons and the Malotte ~~Breeders’ Club~~ family!
Jim
October 31st, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

#20: Does the croc from “Pearls” get a nomination for his Gollum costume?

On a side note, I had no idea Robert Goulet died until I read the posts. Rest in Peace, Mr. Goulet. I know the angels are enjoying your marvelous baritone.
Mountain Mama
October 31st, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

I must also express my sorrow in the loss this week of Porter Wagoner. He discovered Dolly Parton, was a great country-western singer and could rock a rhinestone suit like no one else.

I hope he and Mr. Goulet are harmonizing even now. RIP, gentlemen.
Beppo
October 31st, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Several people already beat me to the “Jughead’s costume is being held up by his erect penis” joke so I’ll just say this: Ever notice that both Jughead and Wimpy have hamburger fetishes?
Muffaroo [Gobba Gobba Kip W]
October 31st, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

FOOB – When did Elizabeth stop talking in palindromes? That was neato. She’d be ever so much more interesting if she looked into Anthony’s marble-like Barney Rubble eyes and thought: “Doomed! Emo O.D.!”
Adjuster
October 31st, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Hey, Mary Worth – you’re right, animals love with simplicity and purity. And, like Dr. Drew, they’ll hump anything that moves.
M-life
October 31st, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

“Amish” my fanny… Mary Worth just wandered into one of the Geico caveman commercials.
Tim T.
October 31st, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

bats :[ # 160 yesterthread: WOW! SO cool! (Do you *really* know all those languages?) I repeat…WOW!
Best wishes.
Muffaroo [Gobba Gobba Kip W]
October 31st, 2007 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Robert Goulet was on “Laugh-In” one time, and in one sketch he was being interviewed — by Dan, I think — as a coach, holding a football (American type), and giving answers that evinced a completely scrambled view of sports. At the end of the bit, Goulet stood up and dribbled that non-spherical object off the set, like a basketball. So I’ve been a fan of his ever since. I don’t care how many takes that took, it was a virtuoso moment.
SecretMargo
October 31st, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Josh, has Rex taught you nothing? Margo is the “big,” Sam is the “little.”
bats :[
October 31st, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

72. Mountain Mama: dang, that’s the first I heard about Porter Wagoner. I don’t follow country music, but I sure liked his wardrobe (kind of a C&W Liberace thing goin’ one…well, except for all the tabloid stuff about him and Dolly Partin).

And, well, Robert Goulet — I can’t help like a celebrity (he was a real star, though, and had the talent to prove it) who won’t take himself/herself too seriously. Heh. Headlining at Bart’s Treehouse and singing “Jingle Bells, Batman smells…”
Sal Paradise
October 31st, 2007 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

FW : “Stop being such an old square, Daddy-O”.
bats :[
October 31st, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

77. Tim T: no, I barely get by with English as my primary language. That was filtering Mary’s pontification through Babelfish (into Dutch, French and Spanish), and then translating those back into English. Funny how “ratio” pops up. She’d've pedaled through the Kremlin and the Parthenon, too, only I couldn’t figure out how to use the non-Roman characters.
I still don’t know what I was thinking with that, only that the dialog in MW yesterday was a pinnacle of noncomprehension.
bobbaloo
October 31st, 2007 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Dog? I thought Chinbeard was escorting Chewbacca to Jabba the Hut.
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Mountain Mama, I also mourned the passing of Porter Wagoner. Without him, would we have had the opportunity to hear Dolly? She wrote I Will Always Love You for him after leaving the show and it’s probably the best breaking up but trying to leave him some dignity song ever.

My one snark is this: will they bury him in a coffin or add him to a box of Breeze?

(You had to watch the show to get that.)
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#84 Dingo – By the same token, I doubt they will find a box or Cardui big enough to hold Dolly when she goes.
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

A box OF Cardui.

Shit. And I even previewed that.
BlinkAndItsOver
October 31st, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Dingo: A box of Breeze with a towel in it. (I watched the show, too.)
Joe Blevins
October 31st, 2007 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

MW: Is it possible that Mary is having an out-of-body experience and this is her version of Heaven? The sweatsuited fellow seems like the kind of vague, bowdlerized God Mary’d come up with: folksy, good with animals, someone you could pray to or go antiquing with.

FC: Another good joke — again involving Dolly! But for the sake of comedic economy, I’d have ditched the word balloon and replaced the caption with a terse: “That’s sick, Billy.”

Archie: What’s Archie supposed to be? Wee Willy Winky at a job interview? Also, note that the party has a serious “Brokeback” theme going. How 2005 can you get?
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

#85 True Fable: Have you ever seen Dolly in person? She is tiny. Back when she was promoting the Halos and Horns album, she performed at House of Blues in Chicago. I had been dating someone and we broke up just before the concert, so I asked my father to go with me. He was a big Dolly fan. We got to the show and there must have been a lot of breakups the week before because there were a lot of single people in their 30s with a parent next to them. Dolly is the female version of the old line about Frank Sinatra. That’s the one where someone asked Lana Turner what she saw in him and the response was “He’s 110 pounds and a hundred of that is cock.” Dolly is chesty, for sure. But she’s short and very skinny. And she put on one helluva show.

Man, I’d love for her to do a walk-on in Mary Worth as the new woman in Charterstone.
Krazy Kat
October 31st, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

The guy in today’s Mary Worth is based on a real life character…read the story to get my meaning.
In SC we know how to love our dogs unconditionally.
SecretMargo
October 31st, 2007 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

RapeshaftGate Update: Who knew I had something in common with people in OshKosh?

http://www.comicsreporter.com/index.php/crankshaft_given_timeout_in_oshkosh/

I’m very done with the whole thing, but I thought it was worth noting that at least one newspaper actually did notice what seemed rather obvious to all of us but passed under the radar of so many other editors [plus two writer/artists].

Just think of the firestorm that would have ensued if he’d used the word “lesbian!”
Roger
October 31st, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: I feel compelled to point out that it is the boat-in-a-hurry, not Johnny’s son’s boat, that has the right-of-way in this situation. I’ve no doubt it will be an important plot point in the weeks ahead.
Sans Sense
October 31st, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

In Archie I am bewildered and oddly intrigued by the cowboy in panel two’s choice to roll up his pant legs and wear platform heels instead of cowboy boots… Daring choice mon frere.
BigTed
October 31st, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

I’m quite surprised by Veronica’s choice to go to the Halloween party as Cleopatra, rather than as “slutty Cleopatra.” The only difference is a few inches of fabric, and normally Ronnie wouldn’t miss a chance to have all the males in the room slavering over her nubile teen body. Plus, we’re missing a chance to see clown Archie’s involuntary reactions: His nose bulb would beep, his tie would roll up, and his trick flower would squirt uncontrollably.
dyslexic dog
October 31st, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

#90 – If you read further down the linked page, there is another article that I pray doesn’t turn up in the MW narrative, …unless it’s done tastefully.
Gabacho
October 31st, 2007 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Post #89 – Dingo, Dolly Parton is 110% performer. I am not a fan of country music – don’t hate, I’m just indifferent – but whenever she sings, it’s a knockout.

I saw her about 15 years ago in New York and she was pure star quality. Here’s what it weird though. I brought my mom because she loves her too. Do you think it’s a Dolly thing?
Mountain Mama
October 31st, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Dingo and folks: The radio station I used to work at got Porter to perform at their 50th anniversary show. Everyone there (unfortunately, I didn’t get to meet him) said he was very nice and easy to work with.

After the show, I was at one end of the stage talking and he was at the other talking, relaxing in jeans and a T-shirt and he just looked like any one of us, like he belonged there in Morgantown, West Virginia instead of at the Grand Ol’ Opry. I wanted to say hello, but I was shy and didn’t want to bother him.

His show was entertaining, as well.
BigTed
October 31st, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

I think the map of all the neighborhood Dennis is holding is at least a little bit menacing. He’s obviously using trick-or-treat night as an excuse to case all the area houses and see what kind of security system everyone has. The “X” marks the spot where the “toothbrushes and healthy stuff” guy, who’s obviously a wealthy dentist, hides his gold fillings.
Mountain Mama
October 31st, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Gabacho: I thought everybody loves Dolly! I remember my mom having a couple of her albums on 8-track and I liked them then and I like her now.
Meander
October 31st, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Robert Goulet – the man who said, “Showgirls – the most beautiful word in the English language.” Go in peace.
Meander
October 31st, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#96 — Now that Dolly’s done an ep or two of Hannah Montana, she’s won over a whole new generation!
Mariko
October 31st, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

#17–I think that Funky Winkerbean has a monopoly on all things Yoknapatawpha.
Mariko
October 31st, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

#17–I disagree; I think that Funky Winkerbean has a monopoly on all things Yoknapatawpha.
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#89 Dingo – Wish I’d been there, I admire the fool out of Dolly Parton. What a voice, what a writing talent! I know this will be met with skepticism in some quarters, but when I look at Dolly Parton I don’t notice the big boobs. I see that beautiful face and that cotton-candy hair and hear those marvelous pipes belt out tunes like nobody’s business.

I’m going to miss Porter Wagoner, the original Electric Horseman.
monsieurjohn
October 31st, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Panel 2 Keystone Cop must be pissed that Panel 1 Keystone Cop wore the same costume.

Seriously, there are eight people in today’s Archie, and four of them are dressed as cowboys (albeit one with Shakespearean leggings), and two are the exact same illustration, mirrored and enlarged a bit. AJGLU 3000 needs to check out a costume store for some new ideas for next year.
Godzooky
October 31st, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

#55 Josh: One more correction for the Archie comment: “…crime again food.” Think you meant “…against food.” Or, a la Snuffy Smth, “…agin’ food.”
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

Riffing still on the Dolly sidestep of this snark, I truly love how she can take any song and make it her own. If you haven’t heard Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven or REO Speedwagon’s Time For Me to Fly as done by Dolly, you haven’t heard talent, by giminy.
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

#105 monsieurjohn – What’s that you say? The AJGLU 3000 should get new ideas? Whatever gave you the impression that they would do that? Riverdale isn’t too far removed from the Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe days of the 1950’s, for all the jokes about text messaging and iPods they hastily toss in in an effort to stay “relevant”.

“Relevant” is a relevant term in Archie, I think.
S Jones
October 31st, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

What it this blow from Lizzie that caused this very disturbing adult behaviour in Michael?

http://www.gocomics.com/forbetterorforworse/2007/10/28/
Zamboni_Rodeo
October 31st, 2007 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Re: Robert Goulet love

Does anyone else here remember a commercial he was in that ran a few years ago around the holidays? I forget what it was for, but I think the basic gist of it was someone channel-surfing, and one of the things that came on was “Robert Goulet’s Christmas on the Bayou.” It was a very quick scene, but if I remember correctly, he was standing on a raft singing and I think Miss Piggy was with him. Freaking hilarious.

I swear I’m not making this up.
Sans Sense
October 31st, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

11). Wasn’t that in Scrooged?
Sans Sense
October 31st, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

110. Wasn’t that in Scrooged?
Zamboni_Rodeo
October 31st, 2007 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Maybe it was. I can’t remember; I haven’t watched “Scrooged” in ages.
cheech wizard
October 31st, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Yes, Mary, there’s a lot we can learn about love from our animal friends. Love those who feed us. Respond aggressively if they act like they’re going to take that food away. Intimate partners should be chosen on the basis of the aromas issuing from their nether regions, and quickly ignored once the deed is done. And above all, do it doggy style.

Next: What my ex-girlfriend learned about love from her cat.
cheech wizard
October 31st, 2007 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

94/ Big Ted – Re: slutty Cleopatra, those of you out there who didn’t see the Rome miniseries on HBO don’t know what you missed.
Rusty
October 31st, 2007 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Luann: Brad has the the seductioin skills of a 10 year old. I just with Evans would stop it, this kid has no shot in hell getting some action with his crush object.
Al
October 31st, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

116 — I was just thinking… If I had had the seduction skills of a 10yo when I was Brad’s age, I would have gotten LOTS more action. :)
ratnerstar
October 31st, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Look at Billy’s gaping mouth. Look at Billy’s hand on the spoon. Look at Billy’s look of slightly indifferent disgust. Clearly, this drawing was copied from a very different Family Circus, where Billy sucks off strangers in the alley to get money for H.
bats :[
October 31st, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

118. ratnerstar: oh, man, that is just too easy to visualize. (And no, I’m not touching this with my PhotoShop!).

The Internet Movie Database does list Robert Goulet as “Himself” in “Scrooged” (I haven’t seen the film), so this might be where the Miss Piggy connection comes in.
Jordan
October 31st, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

I like how Billy was so determined to traumatize the pumpkin that he decided to eat pie laying across the table. And then waited, fork a hair’s breadth from his mouth, eyes heavy-lidded and drool dripping from his chin, until somebody came along and pointed out the symbolism behind what he was doing. Bless, you Dolly. Nobody can stupidly state the obvious to nobody in particular than you.
Little Guy
October 31st, 2007 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

# 65: By 2010, the Croc will be destined to eat the Zebra. Readers, by that time, will be turned off as no longer endearing, and will instead be enthralled by the angst of Spiderman.
Angry Beaver
October 31st, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Thats no Ian in ‘Mary Worth’, its Kenny Rogers!
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

Wow. I thought by now that at least Jamus would have a remark on #59.
pablo
October 31st, 2007 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

What’s holding up Jughead’s costume? A powerful erection.
King Folderol
October 31st, 2007 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

MW – That’s not a dog; that’s the Amish hippie’s hairy, gay lover. And Mary’s OK with it. She’s learning not to judge, and she’s starting with hairy gay people.

A3G – I don’t really care if Margo dies sad and alone, but I do admit that Sam’s very easy on the ol’ eyes.

DM – Smearing cow shit on the side of the house is menacing enough for me. Burning the house to the ground is too creepy.
NosferatusCoffin
October 31st, 2007 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

From Hank:

RE: Apt 3G. Sam is obviously the stereotypical gay and understanding sidekick that, according to all television shows produced after 1995, every group of young single women in New York have to possess.
************************************************************
How true. However, this goes back to “Designing Women”. Although the sidekick there was not gay (I think), it was the same type of Oprah-Think that you see today in the vast litterbox that is today’s TV and media.

In panel one, Margo looks like she is in desperate need of some Halley’s MO. Or last a gallon of prune juice.
lunarhalo
October 31st, 2007 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Archie –

That keystone does something creepier than not move. He spontaneously changes into his mirror image.

That probably makes him some fourth-dimensional time cop. No doubt he’s done research on the present timeline (based largely on advertisements featuring the McDonald’s Pantheon).

Thus he will shortly do a Nancy Kerrigan on Jughead and make a bitchin Big Mac costume.

And even if he doesn’t it’s still 10 times cooler than Archie’s sleepy clown thing.
lunarhalo
October 31st, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

(naturally the keystone cop would do so to move easier in his twisted view of the present)
Mooncattie
October 31st, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

Shell out, shell out, the ‘Mudges are out!

Just a quick call to action for any Toronto area CC’ers (and anyone visiting the area this weekend). Skullturf and I invite all to drop by the Elephant & Castle pub, King Street West at Simcoe St., this Saturday at 3pm.

The location is across the street from Lynn Johnston’s “STAR” on Canada’s Walk of Fame. We’ll pose for a photo of us burning copies of Stone Season there, and I hope we’ll take a moment as well to pay our respects at Robert Goulet’s Star, just a few steps to the east.
Dean Booth
October 31st, 2007 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

#122 Angry Beaver, you should submit a picture of Ian to Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.
Jamus The Bartender
October 31st, 2007 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

123. #59 was really cool. Just got home from work, making dinner, watching a used Teen Titan video I got for three bucks, so i’m kinda multi-tasking here.
Anyway, color me impressed.
lis
October 31st, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Robert Goulet’s best work really had to be that ad for Emerald Nuts.
I guess he won’t be coming around at 3:00 anymore and messing with your stuff.

http://www.emeraldnuts.com/
Jamus The Bartender
October 31st, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

Wait….”Ass-Drillin’ Fence”?
Oh dear…
Sharona
October 31st, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth in a nutshell: Not “there’s a lot to learn from our four-footed friends,” but “there’s a lot to be said about learning from our four-footed friends.”
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

#132 lis – I like to think that now Robert Goulet has UNLIMITED ACCESS to your stuff.
Justin
October 31st, 2007 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

Rex: …And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with those feelings you get in the locker room.

Nicki: …What?

Rex: Never you mind, son. Never you mind.
Buck Ripsnort
October 31st, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

Blink, Dingo: Dammit, I thought I was the only one who remembered those towels. I always wondered how they fit a bath-sized towel in those little boxes.
And given the MW dog’s hands and brown pearls, it’s obvious the Amishman is none other than Dr Moreau.
Finally, the only thing I learned about love from dogs is never bend over in front of a male rotweiler, even if he IS fixed.
CololZ
October 31st, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

Mary is cycling on the left side of the road. Normally I’d attribute this to cluelessness, but the stripe down the middle is white, not yellow, and the flora are distinctly not Southern Californian.

Yes, folks, Mary has been teleported to England.
Robert Goulet
October 31st, 2007 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

In ur stuff; livn 4 evr!
Hysterical Woman
October 31st, 2007 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

9CL: Just want to say I love the dress. (Interestingly enough, I’m going as a nun this Halloween)
Baby Blues: Jee whiz, how do you outdo a rock for show and tell?
Bizarro: LOL
Cathy: Again, I have to wonder why the hell anyone would marry Cathy. Does she have a trust fund or something we don’t know about?
Crock: I like the despairing look of shame in the third panel.
Curtis: You know what they say about big feet…UGRH NO!!!
Dick Tracy: Haunted house is haunted.
Garfield: That’s not a ghost, it’s a living marshmallow, and it’s pissed you ate its babies!
queek
October 31st, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

a Dolly version of Stairway to Heaven? Never heard it, but I ‘ll bet it sounds wonderful.
Frank Parsnip
October 31st, 2007 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

Archie: I have to give Jughead credit — he is the only guy to show up in a costume that shows a bit of nutty inventiveness. In a party where everybody else is wearing what amount to sized-up kids costumes (“cowboy,” “clown”, “keystone cop”, etc.), he shows up with an edible costume apparently only held up by his cock. I bet his entire evening is built around jokes with the other teens about his “special sauce” and the “quality of his meat”. Once the bong starts getting passed around, he’s going to be there for all the ladies with the munchies — count Betty and Midge as being first on line to find out how he got his nickname.

Raj (28): Ja, das Fischer Preis Telefon! I like the antennaless, cordless handset he’s using.
Muffaroo [Spooky Kip W]
October 31st, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

This just in — everybody’s a critic.

(Because blind links are an abomination, I’ll explain that this is a link to a handwritten note found in a prison library book that seems to be a draft of a letter criticising “Pearls Before Swine” for an insult to Bil Keane. Part of a flickr set found va bOINGbOING.)
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

queek, check out the Halos and Horns album on CDNow. It’s the last song.
Citric
October 31st, 2007 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

MW: I always thought Toby was a bitch but this is being a bit literal, isn’t it?
Dean Booth
October 31st, 2007 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

#143 Muffaroo: lol I saw that just a few minutes ago and was thinking about posting it. I came across it at Cynical-C blog. You?
zeeba
October 31st, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

zeeba here after a long self-imposed absence due to contractor tearing up house, then leaving to work on another house without finishing my house….

first of all, I guess I should talk about today’s PBS: no way on God’s green earth is that croc EVAH going to eat zeeba. A well placed karate chop to the neck and a kick to the groin and that croc’s gonna limp off the page tomorrow.

LOVED the comix today that celebrated Halloween:
Gracie and her friend’s costume in Baldo, the 3 Johnny Depps in Blondie, the return of the Midnight Skulker in BC, Cathy dressing up her dogs like the witch and queen from Snow White (check out the dog looking at itself in the mirror, LOL!), “trick or treat, doll face” in FW (what century does this take place in?), Heart’s costume melting in the rain in HOTC, Lio enjoying the lifelike costume of a trick or treater, Brad snuggling up to Toni in Luann, but still not getting any, the synchronized swimmers in OBH (last minute costume idea) “trick or treat already”, Snoopy seeing “a stupid kid sitting in a pumpkin patch,” the elderly neighbor misunderstanding Red’s costume in R&R, the really lame costumes in RIR, the incredibly dumb joke in WOI, way out of left field in Bizarro, and awww, an adorable Pluggers. Yeah, it’s been a good day!!!
Burning Prairie
October 31st, 2007 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

Foob-I am pretty sure I have interpreted just this situation in exactly the same way at my house, I gotta apologize to that kid.
Zak K.
October 31st, 2007 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

Ok, so this Mary Worth strip is a bit creepy. Not because of the amish-haired man or Mary being able to bicycle. No, it’s that strange looking dog that he’s walking.

What better way to celebrate Halloween in the Mary Worth-verse than by having this strange white-haired sweater-wearing amish man walk his hybrid golden retreiver/Chewbacca thing. I swear I see the beginnings of fingers in the second panel.

Anyone else?
Dingo
October 31st, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Zak, you’re a wee bit late to the party. We’ve seen, we’ve commented, and we’re waiting for the musical.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
October 31st, 2007 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

#148 — Yeah, I don’t have kids, but as the older of two siblings, I gotta say, I (gasp) identified with Mike Patterson in that strip. (Gawd, that makes me feel dirty writing that.)
Uncle Lumpy
October 31st, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

Thursday’s FW — Good Lord, do we have to canonize the whole freaking staff before the new storylines can start? Here’s the tally so far:

Dinkle – promoted
Funky – successful, now retroactively best lay ever
Lisa – saint
Les – the new urban Ghandi
Uncle Lumpy
October 31st, 2007 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail –

BOATS ARE EVERYWHERE!
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
October 31st, 2007 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

Fun with copyright infringement.

And, Josh should give himself COTW for this: “Say what you will about the new hybrid FBOFW, but it did allow us to see Michael Patterson getting hit in the face.”

Finally and inevitably: LolJug caption: I CAN HAZ JIYINT CHEEZBURGER!!1!
jailbird
October 31st, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Anybody see Thursday’s Mary Worth? WTH is the deal with that dog? Is it dead? Lying in wait to attach Mary? This is actually pretty startling! I can’t wait for Friday. Damn that strip for taking so long!
jailbird
October 31st, 2007 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

Oops, I said attach Mary, and I meant to say attack. Although Attach Mary is kinda funny now that I re-read it.
Gabacho
October 31st, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – You know what would be really funny? If one of the dogs bites Mary, really hard.

Or if Mary bit the dog. I could see the headline now, “Bitch Bites Dog”, the classic news story.

I would laugh at that.

Apartment 3-G – Speaking of bitches biting, Margo’s gonna bite Sam. And is that the coolest “SNAP” ever or what?

I should go to bed now.
Gabacho
October 31st, 2007 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

#156 Jailbird – “attaches Mary” is not “kind of funny”, it’s very funny.
True Fable
October 31st, 2007 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

Thursday’s FBoFW It looks like Elly is about to drop kick Michael into the next county, and that makes this little Fable very content.

Now that I think about it, I remember they were always fighting, which is why Liz’s “fond memories” flashback just won’t wash now.

It makes me wonder… just why did I think I enjoyed this strip back then? So far every flashback’s been pretty iffy.
Uncle Lumpy
October 31st, 2007 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Gabacho -

“Bitch bites dog” is perfectly ambiguous!
Sister Sestina
October 31st, 2007 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

So let me be fashionably late to the party…
Don’t understand why everybody’s going “Chinbeard showing affection to a dog? Have the magnetic poles flip-flopped?” Because the professor strikes me as a perfect example of a certain subset (SUBset, I said, don’t set the bloodhounds after me!) of dog-lovers: those who love dogs because dogs won’t criticise you. They’ll love ya “with simplicity and purity” no matter how big an asshole you are. They’re even physically incapable of telling you how big an asshole you are. Nothing makes people like Ian Cameron beam with gratitude than the illusion of their ass-holiness being validated like that.
A New Day
October 31st, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

RMMD: So of all the characters to bring back, I have to ask, why Niki? I mean, the authors had the perfect out: the last time we saw him, Rex and June were saying that they were going to stay in Niki’s life and that Rex was going to be Niki’s Big Brother. But I was sure that just meant, “we don’t want our heroes to abandon this kid, so we’ll come up with a semi-plausible, but extremely boring, back story. No one will actually want to see it, so they won’t blame our main characters for being bad people or never seeing the kid again. Our readers will instead assume that we are sparing them the experience of actually spending time with Niki, especially with Niki and Rex together.” But no, we have to watch these two for weeks and weeks, which is about as exciting as watching a cardboard box talk to a rock.
bats :[
October 31st, 2007 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

Thursday comments:

FW: what the hell did Funky do to his creator that was so heinous that Batuiuiuik is apparently going to draw him so that he’s next to unrecognizable?

JP: I was gonna say…oh, nuts. I forget. Just kind of ended up staring at Rusty’s butt in the first panel. I don’t think I ever got to the other panels.

MT: Mother of Mercy, is this the end of Johnny? (although the blue-suede fringed jacket might be reason enough to plow him down…)

MW: “damned speed bump!”

RMMD: get those thumbs warmed up, Niki…I think you’re gonna need ‘em.

9CL: Amos is really cheesing me off. Either grow up and admit that the possibility of getting married is not all icky and gross, or join a farkin’ monastery and give up kissing (well, Edda, at least).

GF: oh, no…the curse of David Caruso has struck Bucky!
jdeuel
November 1st, 2007 at 12:04 am [Reply]

“the key question is: What’s holding it up?”

Ever heard of a “dick in a box?”
Poteet
November 1st, 2007 at 12:15 am [Reply]

DT — Please tell me there’s a dead bug on my computer screen. Please tell me Tess didn’t actually say “I’m worried about, Dick in that weird house.” Because if she did, it’s the (Margo)ing worst use of a comma I’ve seen in weeks.

On the other hand, if the comma is removed, her remark reminds me of a few interesting parties I’ve attended.
Not Proud
November 1st, 2007 at 12:16 am [Reply]

Okay, am I missing something? Today’s FOOB is definitely a twenty-year-old rerun. I remember an old collection of FOOB comics – in a small paperback – floating around my house when I was young, and this was one of them. If ththe point of ‘flashback’ FOOB is to reprint old comics, and I haven’t been paying attention, sorry. If, on the other hand, it is just meant to recreate the style and plot of the old ones, then they’re just being lazy and actually Xeroxing them.
Poteet
November 1st, 2007 at 12:19 am [Reply]

PLUGGERS — Okay, so I’m imagining myself as a plugger mom with a plugger husband and four plugger sons. Death looks very good right now.
Poteet
November 1st, 2007 at 12:32 am [Reply]

JP — I think Rusty should have been dressed in a teeny-weeny bikini for her departure. It would have been more subtle.

MW — MOVE, DOGGIE! QUICK! MOVE NOW, BEFORE…too late. Here she comes. Life as a stray is going to look pretty good compared to where you’re headed now.
True Fable
November 1st, 2007 at 12:34 am [Reply]

JP Rusty has boobs in her butt AND in front, and she’s still hitting on Sam during the Long Goodbye That Wouldn’t Stop. Yeah Sam, I agree she might be habit-forming, but geez man, you have no vices so you’ll be safe.
On the other hand, I may have to race Jamus to be the first one to hire her.
dreadedcandiru2
November 1st, 2007 at 12:35 am [Reply]

#159 – True Fable: I don’t think ‘fond’ is what Liz is shooting for. She’s trying to tell April what a nasty little puke Mike was as a child because she knows for damn sure he won’t tell the story right. I remember the constant war between them as being what attracted me to the strip in the first place. Nothing like watching a good car-wreck to get a guy hooked.
Poteet
November 1st, 2007 at 12:39 am [Reply]

# 151 — Skullturf, I was the oldest of four sibs, and the second one (CrabbyGenes) remembers many horrid things I did to her when we were young. So now I get to feel guilty for evil deeds I don’t even remember. Unfortunately, they do sound quite plausible.
NotThatGuy
November 1st, 2007 at 12:49 am [Reply]

So now Mary Worth is joining the Mark Trail/Rex Morgan crossover? Is this like that April Fool’s Day comics exchange several years ago, only more inane?
CrabbyGenes
November 1st, 2007 at 12:50 am [Reply]

#159 True Fable. I too hate the “set-up” that these re-run comics invariably get. And this week’s set-up is really stupid, since Elizabeth couldn’t possibly be remembering ANY of that (since she was too young).

As for the “iffy” flashbacks, I think it’s at least partly because the strips are being plucked from the story arcs they were originally in. Even when we get two or three sequential strips, we’re still getting only a piece of the arc.

I’m not saying that today’s strip is particularly good but I’ve got the book that it’s from, and when it’s read as part of the whole, it works better.

And of course, the biggest problem is that these past strips, which were funny and innovative in their time, are now somewhat dated, as well as being contaminated by the present glurge. I don’t think Johnston could have found a better way to pollute her own work. As a former fan, I’m finding that I am not even able to give any credit to the older strips anymore.

I just wish the whole mess would END. Now. Immediately, if not sooner. I wouldn’t miss it.

And then I could go back to the CC archives and read the hilarity over Michael’s book excerpts, the great title proposals, the slew of well-written essays on Therese’s “other side of the story,” the groaning over the Anthony-and-Elizabeth-love-birds at Shawna-Marie’s wedding . Little did I realize before the hybrid began that the last days of summer were, perhaps, the great “Aldo” period of Foob. Well, maybe not quite, but you get my drift.
Mibbitmaker
November 1st, 2007 at 12:52 am [Reply]

11/1:

FW: THAT’s FUNKY??? Really? Margoty Margo-Margo!!! And while I work on my mega-scrapbook (bare-bones, not the frilly kind), I come across FWs from 1984 cut out from the paper, making this Act 3 even more perplexing and offensive!

A3G:
SAM the ASSISTANT
————-d. 2007————-
~~~~~~R.I.P.~~~~~~
NotThatGuy
November 1st, 2007 at 12:53 am [Reply]

Also, MW, that’s no dog, that’s some kind of aberrant otter. Or maybe a very furry tiny horse.
CrabbyGenes
November 1st, 2007 at 12:56 am [Reply]

#171 Poteet. This comment of yours is just ACHING for some specific examples (which I would be DELIGHTED to provide). But I am going to show you how mature I am now, by letting you off the hook;-) You owe me one.

Of course, this decision is partly motivated by what I know you could tell these people about ME…
Mibbitmaker
November 1st, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

1/11(backwards):

S4th: TED FORTH-TED FORTH-TED FORTH, RAH-RAH-RAH!!!

Shoe: I love this one! I have to, it’s my weakness.

S-M: Man, that guy is from E-ville!

Curtis: “Goddess”? …From Hell???

GF: Clever, Bucky, but you’re no Uncle Lumpy.
Bobdog
November 1st, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

I say it’s Chinbeard and he’s wearing a wig so Mary won’t recognize him.

“A wig?” you ask — well if Superman can disguise himself with a mere pair of glasses , and Peter Parker can maintain his “secret identity” then clearly a wig would work as it’s a near proven scientific fact that characters in soap opera comics are incapable of the sort of abstraction that we mortals take for granted when it comes to facial recognition. They’re not that much more advanced than infants who think you’ve disappeared when you cover your face. Why, if Margo was to let her hair down, Tommie and Luann would think they’d gotten a new roommate.

Okay, bad example. But still, the proof is in the strip — Mary doesn’t show a hint of recognition that that’s her neighbor she’s musing over. Granted, the fact he’s not wearing a bright green suit either. That also might also be throwing her off.
Uncle Lumpy
November 1st, 2007 at 1:17 am [Reply]

#177 M/m –

Well, aren’t you sweet!
True Fable
November 1st, 2007 at 1:26 am [Reply]

Poteet, my queen! Always a delight to see you and CrabbyGenes! You sisters make my lil ol’ heart go thumpity thump thump!

Everybody sing along with Barry White! Oh darlin I…can’t get enough of your snark, babe –

9CL Amos, you weak-chinned little dickweed. Make up your mind – do you want to or not?
A3G I guess the name Sam is just a favorite of mine, because I like just about all the comics Sams. Sam Driver, Nerd of Steel; Sam Not Sam Hill, Heroine of my Mark Trail Theater of the Forums; and now Sam Snap, the ballsiest aide in New York City. Although Sam Snap will probably not be long for this world to judge from Margo’s clenched fist, until she nails his ass to the ground with a spear I’m going to cheer him on. Honest to God, I whooped out loud at his nerve today. Go, Sam, go!!
BB If anyone would know how long Beetle can savor a moment, it’d be Sarge.
Cathy (Must Die) Cathy, you dumb bitch. Dogs have coats. If you want to dress them up, do it when you take them for a walk on an especially cold day, but geez, baby! What’s the point in making them hot and miserable indoors? Besides, with your taste in clothes they’ll always look like shit.
C’haft what? there were no good snipers available?
DtM Don’t you be menancin’ around here, you ain’t getting my bowl of Tootsie Rolls, goddammit.
(WT)DT No troubles are currently plaguing Tess. She’s worried about dick in that weird house.
FW Good Wing Sauce, Batiuk! What do you have against Funky, man; Funky made you rich, and this is how you repay him: making him look AWFUL as quink.
H&L Respect knuckles for Ditto today.
JP Eduardo, old buddy, we already know Rusty wants an order of hot Sam on a blanket. You didn’t need to make her goods say it for her in panel one.
Luann Come on, Evans, kiss or get off the pot.
MF Hey, Tinsley. You’re dissing my man Al. Boy, if I didn’t think I’d be Cockpitted, I’d be walkin’ on your ass right now.
MT Paul, answering your own question is the first step toward madness, or so it’s said.
MW Mary’s riding those hills without a ten-speed? Holy crap, the woman’s got some legs on her, i reckon.
PBS Wow. If I ate my mail delivery person, I’d be in a shitload of trouble.
RMMD FINALLY! high time we found out whether this is Elvis and Eightball or not.
S4th Ted’s been taking Ballsy lessons from A3G’s Sam Snap.
TDIET Damn, Dragbutt. Take a chill pill, bud.
Trilobite
November 1st, 2007 at 1:33 am [Reply]

Was the turkey served early this year? No, I guess that’s just Thursday’s comics:

A3G: Sam deploys a double question mark followed by a triple exclamation point, and Margo retorts with the legendary double-interrobang — they’re not just ending their sentences, they’re terminating them with extreme punctuation.

Actually, this was a very clever solution to the problem of getting Margo to show up at her real job: tap into her boundless inner rage by hanging up on her abruptly, thereby driving her to come in just to bitch you out. I tell ya, that Sam may look like he’s fifteen years old, but he has the courage of a lion and the ingenuity of a monkey. A suicidal, soon-to-be-in-traction monkey.

Dick Tracy: I’ve only started following Dick Tracy relatively recently, and so I don’t know whether Tess is out of character here. What I do know is that it’s confusing when the setup for the story is “Tess gleefully volunteers Dick to spend a night in the spoooOOOOky haunted house,” and then we cut to her being upset and worried about what might happen to him if he spends the night in a spooky haunted house. If there’s a long history of beloved Dick Tracy plot arcs involving Tess doing things like putting delicate objects up on tall, wobbly shelves and then chewing her nails with anxiety that they might fall off and smash into a thousand pieces, I guess this haunted house thing is okay. Otherwise, this seems like an unusually weak premise even for a comic strip as lame as this one.

Gil Thorp: Gil knows where the vandals are from, but not who they are. The audience, on the other hand, knows who the vandals are (and could probably even find out where they’re from if anyone cared enough to read the older strips where their school was named), but cannot possibly figure out why the vandals are so interested in messing with Milford High. Is a rivalry with a school whose team stinks really worth the effort? C’mon guys, a fun rivalry is all about having a worthwhile opponent, and the sad truth is that any of the local elementary schools could probably whip Milford’s ass 27-0 and not even need to take a nap afterwards. Why not develop a rivalry with a team that’s actually good?

Judge Parker: And that seems to be the end to the saga of Busty Rusty O’Riley and the Sexless Golem. Oh well, time to switch scenes to Paris, where Neddy will be in the middle of convincing Abbey to pose nude for her figure drawing class. (Cross your fingers!)

Mark Trail: Looks like there’ll be no college for young Paul Malotte after all. When he’s crushed beneath that speeding boat, he’ll regret wearing a light blue fringed buckskin jacket instead of a life vest. And then when he loses his memory and is rescued by beavers who will raise him as one of their own, somewhere in the back of his damaged brain he’ll feel disappointed by how things turned out, but won’t understand how or why. Then he’ll go back to gnawing on pine trees.

Mary Worth: Oh, I guess Mary’s going to adopt a sick dog and nurse it back to health. I hope that dog likes tuna casserole. Still, I’d be happier if this was a story about how Mary hits the dog with her bike, gets flung over the handlebars, and shatters her brittle bones on the street, so that’s what I’m going to be hoping for here. Failing that, perhaps that poor dog will at least pee all over her carpeting.

Rex Morgan: Niki is suspicious about someone else being up at this cabin, because he thought his mom made it clear that he doesn’t do groups. At least, not without getting paid a lot more.

Spider-Man: NEXT: EYEBROWS OF TERROR!
Frank Parsnip
November 1st, 2007 at 2:11 am [Reply]

A3G: Sam is definitely going to have to move to Anchorage after this outburst. Margo doesn’t take crap from anybody, and if he isn’t across the state border before sundown, Margo will wear his testicles for earrings.

Beatle Bailey: That’s a nice latrine trench.

Jugs Parker: Look, it’s time for somebody to get out of here, and it sure as hell ain’t Busty O’Riley. Just as Sam Driver took over from the aging Judge Parker character, I think it’s about time that the whole strip started to focus on the daily adventures of Busty. I want to see every damn moment from when she gets up in the morning to when she goes to bed with some counterparty at night.

Blondie: Well, Dagwood looks a hell of a lot better than he does with frickin’ antennae sticking out of his head. The barber avoids cutting into those because they invariably bleed and lead to Dagwood pulling off his artificial hands to reveal huge claws.

MW: In panel 1 is she mountain-biking or is that just a really awkward semi-aerial view of her on the road? Look at that rear tire just bouncing right up into the air! I was really hopeful until I saw the panel 2 and realized that it’s probably just a terribly awkward view with the road surface behind her.

MF: Gore won the “Yassir Arafat Nobel Peace Prize”? Oh, I thought that was the “Henry Kissinger Nobel Peace Prize” long before that. If Tinsley likes, we can also point out that Hitler won Time Magazine’s “Man of the Year” award long before Bush did. Or perhaps we can refer to ever drunk driving arrest as “doing a Tinsley” from now on? Just want to see how this whole legacy thing works. But, hey, I’m glad for any Mallard Fillmore that doesn’t dedicate itself to baiting blacks, jews and homosexuals.

Sex Organ, M.D.: Rex has changed his shirt again, apparently his previous one wouldn’t have passed a UV light test. The rage that he has against these interlopers is nothing compared to what he’ll do if he finds out that June used the map to come up to keep an eye on him.

Family Circus: Yeah, count those frickin’ calories, lardass!

Slylock Fox: The only thing that could have made this better would have been if King Kong were holding Cassandra Cat!

Mark Trail: That speedboat is being driven by a very old, grumpy man who singlehandledly enforces the boating laws. Having read up on admiralty law decisions, he feels secure in simply running down anybody who doesn’t properly yield… as Paul Malotte has failed to do here. By the way, this guy also owns the construction company that employes Homer.

Funky Pantysniffer: Cindy never needed “Mr. Right” — it was always a matter of “Mr. Right Now”. These urges would usually strike her when she was hanging out with handsome co-anchors after work.

Foob: I liked the art of the much older Foobs better — it was a lot more lively. By the way, I still haven’t seen any news indicating that Lynn has torn up the train tracks yet surrounding her home. Perhaps by the time she gets around to running those model railroad strips the second time, she’ll have some inventive ways for showing what a bunch of wankers those guys are.
Dingo
November 1st, 2007 at 2:47 am [Reply]

Proving that I really do have too much time on my hands, I have a new animation.

Mary Worth’s Bicycle Ride

Go to the bottom of the page for it.
Virginia
November 1st, 2007 at 3:17 am [Reply]

I have a hard time believeing that neither Mort nor Greg Walker visit here. Today’s strip, in which Beetle daydreams (after Sarge gives him permission to quit) with this huge blissful grin, combined with the odd Camp Swampy football coaching, the beatings, and the KP duties that bring Sarga and Beetle together are either a shout out to CC or a hidden message to all gay military persons.

“Okay, Beetle,you can quit now” “I wish I could quit you” Come on! It’s all code! How soon till Beetle sport a black hankie in the
back pocket?
CrabbyGenes
November 1st, 2007 at 3:31 am [Reply]

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE. I thought Zeeba got it in yesterday’s comic, but he seems fine today…
Brown-eyed Girl
November 1st, 2007 at 4:16 am [Reply]

183. Dingo. Bwahahaha! Having too much time on your hands is not always a bad thing. It’ve very late, I’m tired and stressed, and you made me laugh. Thank you!
Hobbes Fan
November 1st, 2007 at 4:20 am [Reply]

FW: I guess Funky looks like that because by law all independent pizzeria owners are unpleasant-looking overweight men? By this same rationale of cliches, war vet Wally will no doubt show up missing a limb or two, be confined to a wheelchair, and act bitter to all of society.

You know you’re in for a painful couple of weeks when a thirty-year-old “Popeye” storyline is more entertaining and visually appealing in comparison.
Saluki
November 1st, 2007 at 5:22 am [Reply]

11/1/07

PBS: What happened? Is this the same zebra or one down the street? The strip isn’t against characters eating other sentient beings. I mean it appears there’s no more mailman. I think this is a different zebra but you would think the croc would be in today’s strip acting cocky.

Frazz: I’m loving it this week. Vonnegut was one of my favorites. If this isn’t nice what is?

Close to Home: This is why Boyd had to turn to a life of petty crime in Milford.

Curtis: Seriously, who says that out loud in school?

GT: Now a reasonably intelligent person would think that they were from a school that beat Milford 27-0. Gil thinks that they’re from the paint factory.

JP: Two words: Wow, WOW!

TDIET: That is exactly why I hate 3:00 games
beergoggles
November 1st, 2007 at 5:23 am [Reply]

MW: what? no comments on the obvious swipe of a jack elrod squirrel? where oh where could this has come from…. hmmm….
gleeb
November 1st, 2007 at 5:41 am [Reply]

9CL: Amos is clearly sublimating his sexual feelings towards ex-Sister Whatshername.

FW: So, who did she bang behind Funky’s back? Montoni? It would explain why Funky lit out of town. And check out the look between Les and his adopted daughter. They clearly agree. You know there’s another construction that could be put on yesterday’s outburst from Les.

JP: At this point, it’s just cheesecake for the sake of it. Not that I’m complaining.

MW: So much for that hound dog’s peace and quiet.

Phantom: A curfew! Will the excitement never end?

Rex Morgan: Can Niki successfully stay in the car?

Sally Forth: With little more than a smirk and a wry comment, Sally effortlessly reasserts her position in the household.
Wanders
November 1st, 2007 at 6:17 am [Reply]

Calico, you prophet! Mary Worth Road Kill call. Nice.
Jim
November 1st, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

PBS: I guess the attack on Zeeba neighba was just a Halloween scare. Besides, Pastis would never kill off any of his main 4 characters… at least not without bringing them back without any logical explanation.

Dilbert: I look forward to seeing Ratbert’s disappointment when he learns that the customer is NOT always right. This should be good.
ruby of the mad skills
November 1st, 2007 at 8:32 am [Reply]

Actually Josh, I think this dog-loving chinbearded baby-blue-sweatshirt-clad behemoth is really Bob Seger. I’m glad he’s getting work again.
Calico
November 1st, 2007 at 9:54 am [Reply]

Um, I think I know what might be holding up Jug’s costume, and it ain’t the other guy’s Baton.

So that’s where all those calories end up!

#191 – Aw, Geez! How was I to know?

Pauvre chien – maybe it is a special dog that will bring Vera and Drew together again, like Shirley the magic drag duck.
Electro
November 1st, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

“Perhaps Ian keeps this dog hidden away somewhere for those times when he wants to feel genuine, positive emotions.”

Josh, you’ve uncannily described my boss’s MO in this throwaway line. Also Hitler’s. Good work!
Muffaroo [Spooky Kip W]
November 1st, 2007 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

Dean Booth @146 – I have bOINGbOING on my LJ feeds, and they linked to the flickr set. On reading through the set, I saw that one, and immediately sprang into action. Nice to see we think alike… and for once I drew first.
Shanghaishrimpo
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Clearly, our hairy dog lover began as the Professor himself. But he was morphed into a similar-looking stranger, so as to not complicate the plot further. Or it’s Ian’s long-lost brother! – to be used for a later plot.
mostly pretty quiet
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth, there’s a lot to be learned from Yetis.
oldskool138
November 15th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

Does anyone else think Sam looks eerily like Roddy McDowell?

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Every dog has his day

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