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Metapost: Pleasant evening comments of the week

Do you enjoy funny comments? I’ll bet you do! Here, here’s this week’s funniest:

“I think that Death/Fate might do a little better if he wasn’t wearing a hooded mod minidress and Chaco sandals. It’s like he dresses strictly from the women’s ‘Travel’ section of the REI catalog.” –Grandstanding Oddball

And the others! They are also funny!

“In actuality, Margo was torn from the thigh of Anna Wintour.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Magical Hobos aside, I don’t think Nola’s ready for a conversion just yet. No, I think there’s an option four, whereupon Nola sleeps with the homeless man in order to aggressively take over his shopping cart full red and blue antique bottles. It doesn’t really make sense, but this is Mary Worth we’re talking about.” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Margo was also born wearing a Freddy Krueger glove, which she used to liberate herself from that uterus-prison. The shoes just added style points.” –Walker of Dog

“We duly note that Miss Magee implied but did actually confirm Mr. Gaine$’ exclamation that she ‘walked all the way across town in heels.’ While we have not a shred of doubt that Miss Magee is a high-heel kind of girl — and more power to her — we suspect she is also a taxicab kind of girl, and one who is not above leaving the impression she is made of sterner stuff.” –Fashion Police

“I imagine that Nola is actually taking a jump over the bench, and is running away. ‘I have some change … In my car!’ ‘NO! Come back! I have proof that all the presidential candidates are space-lizards!’” –Lord-z

“The teleportation is obviously random and against his will, based on his, ‘Oh NO! Not again’ exasperation. A minor annoyance, I suppose, for a garden gnome that has been transformed into a human being.” –survivor

“I refuse to believe that dog would call anyone fine folks until he got a real good sniff of their ass. Indeed!” –Sans Sense

“While this little teaser does seem to imply that we’re dealing with outdoor cannabis growers, I’m still not convinced that ‘drugs’ in the MT universe are anything more than bales of brown ‘something’ that you need an airplane to distribute. What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out tomorrow that these khaki criminals are dealing in counterfeit geraniums, or have started an illegal corn fighting ring.” –pugfuggly

“Actually, I’m going to assume that the ‘50 plants’ in question are actually a large number of industrial plants that are generating tremendous amounts of chemical waste, which explains why the water they’re traveling over is fluorescent and teal. Mark Trail may know what marijuana looks like, but is he familiar enough with the early symptoms of methyl isocyanate exposure?” –Mumbly Joe

“Does Cookie actually have to make breakfast-to-order for every denizen of Camp Swampy, all by himself? That’d put a sad face on anybody. ‘Hey, Cookie, I’d like two over easy, the yolks just slightly starting to harden so they’re not all runny like yesterday, some crisp bacon (but not burned), some hash browns with the nice crunchy edges, and one slice of rye toast (for the eggs) and one slice of white (for the jam).’ ‘Sure thing, private. You’re number 1,274, and I’m on number 12 right now.’” –jvwalt

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

94 responses to “Metapost: Pleasant evening comments of the week”

  1. Weaselboy
    March 30th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations, Oddball, and congrats to all the float riders!

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 30th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations, Oddball! Or should I call you Sergeant Oddball?

    http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0017084/

  3. This Guy
    March 30th, 2012 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    “Illegal Corn Fighting Ring” WBAGNFARB.

  4. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 30th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Congratulations to Grandstanding Oddball. Were you away for a spell?

    Congrats to the other COTWers too. I remember finding Walker of Dog’s A3G comment pretty damn funny.

  5. Chip Whittle
    March 30th, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (Y#117):

    S-M: Someone explain to me… Spidey’s mortal, right? So why isn’t he near-comatose at this point, just like MJ? Is it because he’s had so much practice functioning in a near-comatose state?

    It’s a fair question. Probably the interpretation the writing units presenting themselves as “Stan Lee” would like to take is that Asgard is a place for heroes, figures larger than life, and Spider-Man as a super-hero stop that snickering earns his place there by being more than what mere mortals can be. Meanwhile Mary Jane not being heroic can’t be fit among those worthy of Asgardian immortality.

    Of course, the strips keeps telling us Spidey’s heroic, and if we take what comic strips claim about their characters, we’d have to conclude that Juliette and Edda Burber were attractive people in some way, that Edison Lee is clever, that Tommie Thompson has some properties or traits that in some way mean something, that Gil Thorp is a gym coach, that Reply All has characters or settings or something, and that Mark Trail makes sense. But maybe Asgard hasn’t been reading the Spider-Man.

  6. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 30th, 2012 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#156): What about Lunar Lander? I distinctly remember playing that with my friend Ian sometime before 1972. It was a neat game, too. You tried to set the Lunar Lander (which was basically an outline) on a moonscape (which was basically an outline) with a preset amount of fuel and a predetermined gravity constant. The gravity constant was set at moon-normal, but could be reset to any variable, including a negative. If you hit too hard (which was anything more than a very slight bump), the Lunar Lander crashed (which was basically the outline breaking up into its component lines).

    Fun times. (And here’s a screen shot I found online. I’m pretty sure I crashed in that valley a number of times.)

  7. commodorejohn
    March 30th, 2012 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#6): Well, the arcade version didn’t come out until 1979, but it looks like the game itself goes back a decade further on the PDP-8, but I think that’s the text-only one – the PDP-10 graphics-terminal version (essentially like the arcade game) was 1973.

    Lucky punk.

  8. Droopy Says
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Now we can see why Thor mistook MJ for Sif: she was the least-talented drama queen in sight.

    Mock Trail: So LoFo is in the Salvador Dali District? Much is now explained.

    Creepy Les: Forty years on, Batiuk keeps mining the same vein in hope of striking humor. He’s the Death Valley Scotty of the cartoon world.

  9. Uncle Lumpy
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#7):

    I played the X-Y-Z scope version Lunar Lander on a PDP-8 (with magnetic core memory!) in a lab at Northwestern in 1978 or so.

    Fun fact: early displays like that one used stroke alphanumerics under program control. When you wanted the computer to display something, you loaded the display driver, which had a map of the relative X and Y coordinates of each stroke of each letter. The more you displayed, the dimmer and more flickerish grew the screen.

  10. commodorejohn
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#9): Yeah, I’ve always thought the old vector displays were cool as hell. My local game store had a Vectrex on sale once, I’ve been kicking myself for not buying it ever since.

  11. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#7): But…but… . Ian and I played that game. In our favourite arcade on Yonge Street. We were in high school. No later than ’72 or ’73 (minor things like the exact year of my graduation are fuzzy for me). At the very least, and this is considering that we played it after I moved into the city of Toronto proper, as opposed to when I was living out in the suburb of Malton, it would have been ’74. After that I moved to Welland, and our video arcade days were over.

    How can this be? Is it possible that I’m really a replicant with false memories?

    Cool.

  12. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    Uh. I understood Gil Thorp. It was actually slyly funny. And now all the water in the kettle I just plugged in has suddenly frozen.

  13. Uncle Lumpy
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#10):

    Pretty much any dual-channel Tektronix® analog scope can be tortured into vector mode – set the timebase to X/Y and bang the Z input with an open-collector TTL driver with a pull-up resistor. You can even get a vintage vectorscope on eBay for under a hundred bucks.

    Best of all, old big-iron Teks are essentially free if you buy local. Get the tube kind with the ceramic standoffs and the little roll of silver solder for repairs.

  14. Uncle Lumpy
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#12):

    I understood Gil Thorp.

    Oops – you just blew your Voight-Kampff. Report to processing.

  15. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#11): Look, keep calm here. You are not a character in a Philip K. Dick novel.

    // Or, I’m pretty sure you’re not. I’m not, definitely. I think. Oh! Heinlein, yeah, that’s right! Except there was that one the Monkees did a song about… Door Into Summer.

    Yikes. Say, I picked up some great new slide rules on ebay!

  16. Uncle Lumpy
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#10):

    PS. That vector scope is in Elk River, MN. Just sayin’.

  17. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#9): There was something comforting about the old computer technology. It was cool, and felt very futuristic, but you knew there was no way this stuff was ever going to suddenly take over the world.

    For aesthetics, however, I’d have to say I prefer the ’50s and ’60s, especially with the flashing lights and whirring reels. (Of course, those also seemed a bit more likely to actually gain a consciousness somehow.)

  18. commodorejohn
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#11): Now tell me, in single words, only the good things that come into your mind when you think about your mother?

    I dunno; according to Wikipedia there was a Spacewar! coin-op installation at Stanford that consisted of a PDP-11 dressed up in a cabinet, so it might be possible that there were single-unit arcade standups elsewhere before the mass-produced ones became commonplace. This sort of stuff wasn’t all that well-documented at the time, so who knows?

  19. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#18): Let’s see. Turtle. Back. Sunny.

    I don’t know. This arcade just wasn’t all that up-to-date. I mean it had some new stuff, but it also had a shooting gallery in the back where rows of ducks and things went by and you shot at them with BBs from a rifle. I just can’t make this memory be any more recent than early 1975, before moving to Welland, but the problem there is that I would have been married and with one kid at the time, and any trips with a friend to the arcade would have been few and far between. The Lunar Lander, however, was a regular run for us, and it just feels like it was during our weekly Saturday trips into the city during our high school days.

    I can’t reconcile it.

    But then, there was a Dick van Dyke show in which The Boston Strangler came up. Someone wondered why people let him into their homes, and Rob said, “Who wouldn’t open their door to Tony Curtis?” That was how I learned that Tony Curtis played the Boston Strangler in the movie. I finally saw the movie in 1990, and noticed the split-screen effect, which first started to become popular in 1967. But — I was sure Dick van Dyke was off the air by 1965. I checked, and yes, it was.

    So…huh?

    I’ve searched a book about the show for some reference to that episode, but to no avail. I mentioned this to my cousin about two months ago. Turns out he’s got a complete collection of the Dick van Dyke show, and watched every single one of them over the course of a week. At the end he got in touch with me to say that no such scene occurred.

    But — I knew Tony Curtis played the Boston Strangler, I learned it from Dick van Dyke, and I knew it before Centennial Year (1967).

    So, yeah. Replicant.

  20. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#19): They have to run the Ubik ads in both English and French in Canada, right?

  21. commodorejohn
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#19): Are you sure you haven’t simply slipped into alternate timelines for certain periods of your life?

    [*]

  22. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    Three cheers for Grandstanding Oddball and the other wavers from the float! Throw chocolate!

  23. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    MW — Johnny Thomas. John Thomas. You have got to be kidding me.

  24. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    MT — It’s a real MT miracle! An actual agency has finally been mentioned! I’m not sure the Forest Service would especially appreciate the honor, but I’m happier.

  25. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20): I think they’re illegal in either language as being a possible disturbance to our enforced happiness.

  26. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#21): Concerning your asterisk…

    This used to be very common with me when I was younger, and like you I fought hard to convince my mind that the psychological explanation was true. There was one instance, however, when I was playing soccer in grade seven that was very hard to explain. I had just bounced the ball off my head to another player, and in a flash I knew exactly what was going to happen. I stood there in the middle of the field, stock still, watching it unfold exactly as I had just “seen” it in my mind. the entire series of events was relatively lengthy, and I had distinct foreknowledge of the whole thing before it happened (ball from me to X, from X to Y, an intercept from a specific player on the other team, another intercept from one of our players, and from there to a goal — not the exact course of events, but along those lines).

    Very odd experience.

  27. This Guy
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#19): What really would’ve given ol’ Deckard agita is realizing that humans are positively loaded with false memories. We just can’t stop ‘em.

  28. Boophilus
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#11): You should keep a dream journal: then we can find out if you really do dream of electric sheep!

  29. Uncle Lumpy
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#27):

    It’s all lightning in the headsoup — we make up stories about it after.

  30. commodorejohn
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#26): The part I’ve never understood is, if my brain is falsely inserting memories of what I’ve just experienced into my mental timeline weeks or months earlier, and thus there was nothing actually happening back at the point where I remembering pre-experiencing it, what in the world would be the cause of the distinctive weird feeling I got at that time? I know [*] that at least happened at the prior point, because it has affected my emotional and mental state in the immediate afterward up to the entire rest of the day, but if it wasn’t cause by a pre-experience, then was it just a random brain fart? If so, why is it the same feeling every time?

    Damned weird.

  31. Hairhead
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    Luann: For those of you who have asked, “where did the idea of marriage to Toni come from” you obviously don’t remember the last “plot” thread, when Toni went to her boss and DEMANDED that he re-hire B-wad or “I’ll quit” , because (and I quote Toni) “someday he will make me his wife”.

    And just to say: B-wad is a chuckleheaded motherfucker who has the emotional maturity AND the real-world knowledge of a six-old-child; any woman who wants to marry him (and is WAITING FOR HIM TO GET UP THE GUTS TO ASK HER) has obviously suffered a recent lobotomy, or another severe closed-head injury.

  32. Boophilus
    March 31st, 2012 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: Hmmmm . . . have the Burbers taken a last minute flight to Vienna before taking a pregnancy test?

    I can understand driving up-state to be with you best friend/mother. Sometimes you don’t want to be alone when you receive big news (sorry, Amos). But . . . seriously, did I miss it? Does she know, or does she just strongly suspect?

  33. Little A.
    March 31st, 2012 at 5:49 am [Reply]

    LUANN: Toni was about to ask Brad something or tell him something when he asked for the bread. It can only be one of two things. Either she is about to tell him that their relationship is going nowhere (which it is) or she was about to tell him that they have t get married because she is pregnant. That’s what my Bronx Crystal Ball tells me this morning. Of course since I bought it in the Kress Department store many years ago for 79 cents on sale, it has never predicted anything accurately yet. But we will see. This time, it may be correct.

  34. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 5:55 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#11): Too keep your sanity, think of yourself as a replicant. We’ll think of you as, I shudder to use the word, a Plugger.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#19): Insisting made up memories exist? Plugger.

    @commodorejohn (#30): Occam’s Razor would indicate PLUGGER!

    @Hairhead (#31): From your description, Bwad is the perfect man, according to Cosmo. As a person with an external locus of control, Toni would be able to change and mold him into the man she wants instead of having to fantasize about heroes in bodice-rippers to counter the reality of the beer-drinking, titty-gawping slug she married [Dirk].: Too keep your sanity, think of yourself as a replicant. We’ll think of you as, I shudder to use the word,

  35. Little A.
    March 31st, 2012 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    @Little A. (#33): Or is she going to pull the same stupid April Fool’s Day joke on him? I doubt it; she seems a lot more mature than Brad (which makes me wonder what she has been doing with this dork for all of this time). Hey, this is the comics, not reality. Something we don’t always keep in mind when we get annoyed by plot contrivances and other nonsense.

  36. gnome de blog
    March 31st, 2012 at 6:06 am [Reply]

    @Boophilus (#32):
    Of course the Burbers flew to Vienna without taking a pregnancy test first. Why would anybody bother with confirmation from a mass-produced testing device when consolation from an 85-year-old woman who ran off with an ex-Nazi spy is only 4000 miles away?

    Besides, Edda’s boss is looking for an excuse to fire her so her unexplained absence will be overlooked, or maybe even rewarded.

  37. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#34): Hey! That post was supposed to end at “[Dirk].” Did some replicant get into my comment?

  38. Ed Dravecky
    March 31st, 2012 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Grandstanding Oddball and all the funny folks on the float!

  39. nerowolfgal
    March 31st, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    3GA – Ok, not funny but it is really bugging me. Margot may be a high-heels gal but surely even she would not paint a room wearing a nice crisply ironed shirt. When I paint I haul out the ratty tee shirt and holey jeans, with a scarf over my hair.

    Is it like Bush senior famously doing a tour of a food store and being amazed at the cashier using a scanner on the items. He had never food shopped in his life and had no idea that such things existed. Has the illustrator of this strip NEVER painted a room or known anyone else who has done such a downmarket activity?

    These two look like they have been passing a pleasant afternoon indexing rare books. (Margot put on her sneakers so she could climb up and down the hand-carved oak library ladder.)

  40. Hibbleton
    March 31st, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Is June putting Sarah to bed in a crate? She is wearing a dog collar.

    I have a PDP-8 that I saved from the dumpster at school. I don’t think they’re are many around any more since the gold contacts on the cards are probably worth more than the antique value.

  41. Liam
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    FC 1-The only time Mommy licked stamps was in college. It was part of her experimental phase.

    FC 2-Daddy is lucky if Mommy will lick his stamps on his birthday.

  42. Nehemiah Scudder
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    MW: I cried because I had no hat, and then I met a comic strip which had no brains.

    NAoQV: Oh, boy! Guess the setup line in panel two.
    1. So, it has come to this.
    2. I have a solution!
    3. Villainous wolves!
    4. What is this? Some kind of joke?
    5. This will make a GOOD story!
    6. The Aristocrats!

    SB: If he wants several small juvenile fish for desert, “fry” is already plural.

    Spiderman: That’s a fine set “E”s the Lady Sif has!

  43. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Dagwood my boy, you could get away with that ruse with Lu An Powers, not Blondie.

    Have you ever thought of just using your first name like Madonna?” I can totally see Dilmom as Margo Magee in her younger, not-wearing-a-round-throw-pillow-on-her-head phase.

    That Loweezy pose was very popular in WWII [cough]Kilroy[cough].

  44. Zerowolf
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    BGSS: In panel 2 we’ve secretly replace Loweezy with ALice Goon from Popeye to see if anyone cared.

  45. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    SERIOUS QUESTION: Is Mary Worth starting another storyline? When she meddled the ice skater and her estranged father, it started with she and Jeff sitting on the davenport watching TV. It would be a match made in heaven if Mary got Preacher Can’tKeepItInHisPants and Miss GivesItUpToEveryone together.

  46. Zerowolf
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Does this mean the spring Gil Thorpe plotline will involve members of the team egging people’s houses with slingshots made of jockstraps and end with Gil threatening the creators of jockstrapslingshots.com?

  47. CanuckDownSouth
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    What’s the world coming to when a pair of teenage guys need to hit the internet in order to figure out how to make a jockstrap into a slingshot? I’ve barely ever even seen one – my brothers could handle their own sports equipment thankyouverymuch – but I’m pretty sure I could get something set up to start flinging things in 30 seconds flat.

    @nerowolfgal (#39): The GWB incident has been snoped – apparently he knew about regular scanners and was impressed by the advances on a demonstration model (electronic signature, built-in scale).

  48. Zerowolf
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    FW: But JVC didn’t come out with the prototype VHS systems until 1973 and Betamax didn’t come along until 1975. So what format was Dinkle watching Patton on in 1972, Super 8 (which didn’t have sound format until 1973)?

  49. TheDiva
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Another fine COTW crop! Congrats!

    9CL: In what world is it easier to take a spontaneous trip to Vienna than it is to buy a God-damned EPT?

    reFOOB: “He’s the most selfish, unreasonable character I’ve ever met!” Look in a mirror sometime, Elly.

    FW: Well, the Montoni’s 40th anniversary party was a bust, in more ways than one.

    Luann: Hmmm….not quite as boring and bland as the Lizthony “So we’re engaged now, I guess?,” and not as eye-searingly stupid as Les Moore’s “Me me me me me me marry ME.” Brad even fails at fail proposals.

    MT: Why would they come back? Are people not allowed in this part of Lost Forest? Or do they have the words “POT GROWER” painted on top of their heads?

    MW: It’s the beginning of the end for Nola, now that she’s thinking in faux-profound Bartlett’s quotes. Meanwhile, Mary prepares for a thrilling ripped-from-the-80s-headlines meddle.

    Pluggers are still on the barter system.

    SM: Sif has come down with a killer case of Mary Worth Gesticulation Syndrome.

  50. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Popeye – Wimpy has his standards. If you want him to help you kill Popeye, you have to pretend to hypnotize him first.

    Spider-Man – Mighty Sore seems to be walking through the episode with a splitting headache, but at least his power of ventriloquism is still on a level with that of a large groundhog. Now it’s up to the Lady Sif to show that the giant letter Es on her headband don’t stand for “EMPTY.”

    Family – I like these little slices of life. Who knew that Dolly makes boring small chit chat before she beats Jeffy up?

  51. Illustrator Steve
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MT – “If they saw us they will come back for a closer look!”
    “Why in hell would they want to take a closer look at two UPS delivery guys? Oh, I get it, they may have us confused with those two bikini clad beach babes we passed along the river!”
    “No you fool, Elrod did NOT intend us to be portrayed as UPS delivery men!”
    “He didn’t? Then WHY are we both wearing these stupid costumes?”
    “We are supposed to be pot plant growers.”
    “Oh, I always liked potted plants!”
    “WHAT wrong with you? You act as naive as that Pig in Pearls before Swine!!”
    “Oh, I like comic strip. Maybe we can borrow their guard duck to take out that plane!”
    “Maybe Elrod’s eraser can take YOU out!”

  52. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    FW: You know a strip has limped its last limp when it has to remind readers who a major character in that strip’s history is: “Harry Dinkle, the band director.” Next week: “Funky Winkerbean, the loser this strip was named after.”
    We’ll never need a reminder of who Les is, since every scene centers around him.

  53. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Peanuts: Ah, springtime, and baseball begins anew: the aroma of the grass, the crack of the bat, the fluffiness of the dandelions …

  54. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Merrily Worthless: That John Thomas. I’ve heard he’s really a dick.

  55. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    LOLann: Toni must be springing for dinner. If B-wad was paying, they’d have gone to Weenie World. Or Montoni’s. Maybe even the Bum Boat; I hear it’s nearby.

  56. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Plug-grrrs: Today’s strip provides a prime definition of “extraneous dialogue.”

  57. Mibbitmaker
    March 31st, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    BBlues:
    The Apparent Lesson:
    Husbands and wives are exactly alike: “You expect me to be a parent, concerned about our baby’s well-being, you selfish jerk?”

    The Intended Lesson:
    Men are selfish pigs, but ultimately doormats. You lose, selfish man!

    The Proper Lesson:
    Take turns, dumbasses!

    Lockhorns: See, BBlues? This is how you show the husband as the legitimate bad guy, and the wife as an actual wronged party. (Okay, it is about men love sports and women love the ahts, and how oppressive their respective interests are to the other party, but still…..)

  58. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Brad deGroot, you romantic smoove operator you. Casanova has nothing on you.

    I laughed unironically at Marvin today. It goes without saying that the title character was not in the strip.

  59. This Guy
    March 31st, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Gringo (#52): In fact, I’m amazed they haven’t just started referring to Les as “Himself.”

  60. cheech wizard
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#19): You might have seen Dick Van Dyke make the remark on the Tonight Show or something similar – it sounds like the kind of banter Johnny Carson would have with his guests – and in your memory it got mashed up into something he said it during the sitcom. The brain does that kind of stuff sometimes.

  61. ArchieNemesis
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    I look forward to the best month of Mark Trail ever.

  62. Peanut Gallery
    March 31st, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#30): Couldn’t it just have been deja-vu while it was happening? I get that all the time.

    Never forget that “The past only exists by how you remember it!” Because if you forget that, Mary Worth will never have said it, and we won’t be able to quote it.

    Also, couldn’t it just have been deja-vu while it was happening? I get that all the time. It was all explained on an episode of “It’s the Mind”…

  63. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#59): What a great idea. I might start reading it again if that happened.

  64. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#54): Do you think that name is on purpose? I’d love to know.

  65. Poteet
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Today’s IPSA (Idiotic Pregnancy Story Award) goes to 9CL, and I haven’t even read A3G yet. Sorry, A3G, but with 9CL’s level of awesome stupidity on view, you haven’t got a chance.

  66. commodorejohn
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#40): Promise me you’re taking good care of that sucker – and if you find you no longer want to keep it, there’s probably people who can give it a new home. These are precious relics of history, sir…

    9CL – Is everybody in this strip a fucking loon?

    Agnes – “Poop the bones in the grieving mother’s backyard.” God, I love this strip.

    A3G – “Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Magee?”

    DT – Who wouldn’t want a flesh-eating plant? Man, you could play “Little Shop of Horrors” any time you want.

    FW – Being as Patton wasn’t released on video until 1989, and I’m given to understand that these strips date from the ’70s, I must conclude that that’s actually an early VHS porno about Patton, perhaps titled Pattin’.

    GT – Are you kidding? It’s already a suitable sling, if you’d just learn how to use it. If Roger Wilco can do it, you can too!

    JP – Who the hell enters the driver’s seat via the passenger’s door?

    Luann – …the sad part is, thanks to the existence of Messrs. Les Moore and Anthony Caine, this is not the worst proposal ever to disgrace the comics page. “Yes, Toni, in my life you’re second only to dinner rolls! Wanna get hitched?”

    Mandrake – Um, you could, y’know, break it.

    MW – See! The amazing Mary Worth juggle two plotlines at once! Fraud! Adultery! Scandal! You’ll pay for the whole seat…but you’ll only need the edge!

    Pluggers – Pluggers accept as a reward a hot, steaming Mom’s Apple Pie.

    RMMD – Whoa, is the world tilting for you, too? What was in that bourbon?

    SM – “Fear not, love! My Es shall protect me!”

  67. ArchieNemesis
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Just a sample of some upcoming dialogue:

    Mark Trail: “It’s, Mark, man. Will you open up, I got the stuff with me!”
    Johnny Malotte: “Who?”
    Mark: “Mark, man. Open up.”
    Johnny: “Mark?”
    Mark: “Yeah, Mark. C’mon, man, open up, I think the ranger saw me.”
    Johnny: “Mark’s not here.”

  68. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Yay, Mary vs. the Evangelical preacher!
    “Get me 18 million dollars by Friday!”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTrYE4a1BmE

  69. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    “Do as I say, don’t do as I do.” : P

  70. Will
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    CS, panel one: I was trying to figure out why the two guys in the panel look so angry and miserable, and then I remembered that they live in Funky Cancertown. Then I saw the Yankees/Red Sox logos and realized it was because they live in Funky Cancertown.

  71. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#27): Simple false memories are fine. Impossible memories, such as those that contain information that wasn’t available until several years later, are the ones that drive me nuts.

  72. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Boophilus (#28): In my case it would be an electric Avril Lavigne. “Hello. I’m Avril the doomsday doll. Kiss me sailorboy.”

  73. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#30): There was an interesting case about 100 years ago involving a French man, sleeping in bed with a fever. There were several friends around keeping watch. At one point, the headboard collapsed on his neck. He woke up, and recounted an incredibly detailed dream about living during the French Revolution, in which he was put on a long trial and finally executed by guillotine. Since the stimulus for the dream was almost certainly the headboard falling, psychologists started playing with the idea that the mind could form near-instantaneous narratives.

    I knew about this as a kid (it was in one of my Time Life books or something), but it still failed to explain how my mind could have instantaneously created a memory of the series of events that were about to happen on the soccer field.

  74. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#57): Men are selfish pigs, but ultimately doormats. You lose, selfish man!

    Hm, a crossover with reFoob!

  75. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#72):
    How about Courtney Love the Doomsday Doll?
    Someone take me now, please …

  76. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#64): I think it would give the strip writers way too much credit to say it’s intentional.

  77. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#73):
    ESP – it has happened to me a few times in my life, and it is a weird yet cool experience.
    Somewhat different than Deja Vu – (I have been here before) – discuss!
    Our minds are incredible things.

  78. Gringo
    March 31st, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#66): 9CL – Is everybody in this strip a fucking loon?

    Clarification: Everybody in this strip is an arrogant, pretentious loon.

  79. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    And then there’s Jung’s concept of Synchronicity.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMBufJmTTSA

  80. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#34): When a Plugger Replicant says she has a “D-cup,” she’s referring to the size of her battery receptacle.

  81. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#60): Possible, of course, but highly unlikely. You have to understand how much Dick van Dyke meant to me. Not only was the Dick van Dyke show the first comedy I’d seen on TV that didn’t portray the husband as being incompetent, but he was also smart, creative, and he and his wife had an obviously loving relationship. Since my father left when I was a baby, Rob Petrie became a kind of surrogate father. I knew those episodes inside and out. The scenes were indelibly etched in my brain. In the episode in which Rob becomes convinced they’ve got the wrong baby, I even immediately spotted the fact that there is a shot of their living room from an angle that had never been shown before.

    I know there’s an explanation, but I’ve never been able to come up with it.

  82. Comcis Fan
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    MW: So Mary’s dating the captain of the high school football team, and they watch the 700 Club together and talk about affairs? No wonder she’s been holding out on Dr. Jeff.

  83. Mibbitmaker
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Ever get the feeling that the writers from the era they’ve been reprinting lately were deathly bored with the teenagers in the comic ABOUT TEENAGERS?

    Blondie: Dagwood…. food….. NEXT….

    ReFOOB: Not in real life, of course…

    MT: A mullet, and one bald guy. Bad guys…check!

    MW: Hmmm… the Nola part does seem to thematically flow into the apparent new plotline. A religious moral lesson, for both the business backstabber and Reverend Hypocrite Van Sexguy…. it’s like MW is turning into a Chick tract so slowly nobody’s noticing…?

  84. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#77): I’ve been intending to post my three “smoking gun” experiences soon on my blog. I just finished a long post on abortion and figured I’d go with something a bit lighter, but not comedic. These are three things that happened with witnesses and have no “reasonable” explanation. (And no, this Dick van Dyke thing isn’t one of them. As others have pointed out, and as I’ve known for years, I may well simply be remembering it wrong. There are very strict criteria for an experience to fall under the category of “smoking gun.”)

  85. Comcis Fan
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    FW: Why does he need to say “Harry L. Dinkle, the band director,” as if his listeners don’t know who Harry Dinkle is?

  86. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#58):
    I was watching Guy Fiori on the Food Network around 1-2 AM today – he really goes for the artery clogger restaurants, but seems in much better shape than Paula Deen, for example.

  87. Calico
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#84):
    Please let us know when you make that blog post. I’m interested in reading it.
    My most recent experience of ESP/foretelling happened maybe 6 weeks ago, perhaps? I call it “The Soup Incident” and may write about it myself. We can compare notes! : D

  88. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#61): You’ll need a circular slipstick to figure out how long you’ll have to wait for “the best month of Mark Trail.”

    @commodorejohn (#66) on Pluggers: Uh, yeah, that’s approaching creepy clown territory.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#73): It’s quite obvious Frank. You were implanted with a very early version of TiVo. The ball clonking you on the head activated the 30-second rewind. Maybe you’re a replicant after all.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#80): Hmmm.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#81): Maybe you should see a shrink? If one is not available in your price range, there’s a certain old lady in California who’d be glad to butt in, ahem, help.

  89. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I must say I’m impressed by McEldowney’s attention to detail by showing the young woman and her mother wearing different clothes in the second frame, when they’ve arrived in Vienna. Things like this make a strip real, and are far more important to a plot about an unexpected pregnancy than such non-essentials as getting a simple pregnancy test.

  90. Baka Gaijin
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#86): I laughed at the “Squiggy” quip. Squiggy is funny even though Lenny’s lasted much longer in the biz.

  91. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#87): Nice idea. I’m preparing for a major non-teaching job interview this weekend, so I’ll probably be putting the first up next week. Let me know when you put yours up.

  92. Frank Lee Meidere
    March 31st, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    9CL: The odd use of that preposition threw me when I first read it. But this ambiguity could actually have made for a fairly funny third frame. In the second frame they say they decided to “drop by,” and the grandmother says, “By Vienna?” In the third panel they should say, “No, by plane, of course.”

  93. Charly
    April 2nd, 2012 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    9CL is like the anti-Pluggers. “A Plugger with child takes a red eye to Central Europe after Tarzan rôle-playing.”

    I demand man-beasts and a shout-out to “Fitzwilliam, from Vermont”

  94. Grandstanding Oddball
    April 2nd, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Woah, thanks guys! Honored.

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