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Discussion question: Are all anthropomorphic animals of legend secretly pluggers?

Pluggers, 4/8/12

Happy Easter, everybody! Did you ever have warm feelings towards the Easter Bunny, that lovable fertility symbol turned Easter mascot? Well, prepare to have those completely washed away now that you see him for what he really is: just another plugger, with his eggs stacked haphazardly in the back of his beat up pick-up truck, just stone cold flying out all over the highway, so what if some of those baskets come in a little light, he’s not paid enough to care, those little squallers can kiss his furry ass, you know what I’m saying?

Judge Parker, 4/8/12

Haha, yet another Judge Parker storyline has ended in lucrative rewards for one of the strip’s main characters, who did nothing to deserve it! Last time around Judge Parker Emeritus gained the fawning love of millions for accidentally falling off a building; this time it’s April, who got a couple of Mercedeses from her Saudi prince friend as a way of apologizing for the ways in which his vast polygamous family’s internal politics inconvenienced her. Oh, also, he probably had one of his daughters-in-law executed, but the important thing here is that April and Randy will be tooling around in shiny new cars, huzzah!

188 responses to “Discussion question: Are all anthropomorphic animals of legend secretly pluggers?”

  1. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Oh, God, Mary, just get on with it already. The faster you get this failed meddle behind you, the faster everyone will forget make the past what you remember it to be.

  2. Bill the Butcher
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#1): That story is still going on? Josh has been neglecting it lately, and I don’t care enough about Mary Worthless to follow the strip independently.

  3. Bill the Butcher
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    And Happy Wester, Norther and Souther to everyone.

  4. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    I’m a little disappointed. These new kids and their lack of tradition. No ear chomping in Sally Forth. Next thing you know the Forth Family will make it to their long-delayed French holiday.

    The gals in Hootin’ Holler got their priorities straight. At church, fashion first, God last.

    Bizarro is so full of win, as is Dilbert. “Thank goodness for Photoshop.”

  5. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Juggs Parker: The last thing April needs is another car. She already has more headlights than she can handle. Honk!

  6. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @Bill the Butcher (#2): Yes, we’re in week 3 of what would be afterglow of the meddlegasm of the storyline. She’s faking it this time. Nola actively batted back each platitude with aggressive vengeance leaving Mary with nothing but delusions that she helped. The true “hero” of the arc was the enigmatic bum with his hobotastic advice.

  7. pugfuggly
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Pluggers The ‘highway’, Josh? Take a look at the ground under that truck. E. Bunny doesn’t have time to use roads to deliver his eggs, he just drives onto the grass and lobs a basket through the closest ground-level window. Happy Easter, y’all! The chocolate should give the kids plenty of energy to help mommy and daddy resod the lawn and replace a pane of glass.

  8. TheDiva
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Pluggers make over beloved icons in their own image. No doubt they see the resurrected Christ emerging from the tomb rubbing his lower back and complaining about his aching joints, shuffling to the fridge for a beer before he puts a flannel shirt on over his immense spear-pierced gut and heads for the Early Bird Special at Denny’s (Messiahs get 25% off their total bill!).

    9CL: Now I know the pregnancy is fake, if only because Brooke will be unable to go an entire summer without drawing his darling pin-up in a bikini.

    C’shaft: Tom Batiuk wanted to do a typical teenager joke, but can’t stand teenagers. This was the result.

    FW: Les Moore, moment killer.

    SM: Spider-Man is surprised to meet a superhero who does things efficiently and effectively.

    (More snark after early service…)

  9. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

  10. pugfuggly
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    MW I’m a little disturbed by Mary’s gaze in that last panel. Is that anticipation of the next time she’ll get to harangue Nola, or has all that ‘sexy talk’ with her latest meddlee stirred something deep inside her?

  11. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    I want to be there when they tell Marvin “There is no poop fairy.

  12. Anonymous
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Did anyone notice that the “Luxury Sedans” in Judge Parker are actually SUVs? I hope Cruthers Jackson is more detail-oriented in their legal work than they are in their car delivery service.

  13. OMEGA SUPREME
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    @Gringo (#5): Juggs Parker: The last thing April needs is another car. She already has more headlights than she can handle. Honk!

    Yeah, she’s already got a matched pair!

  14. Blade
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    I’m more intrigued about the “etc” on the truck- is it a fancy way of saying ” ‘n baskets,” or is there something… else?

  15. MapDark
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    9CL : I think McEldowney is drawing Edda in bikini one last time before she’s too preggo to allow it. He probably cried over this one.

    A3G : “My father was a krogan!” is all that went through my head when I read Nina say she was no fuzzy wuzzy thanks to her dad. What’s wrong with me ? -_-;;

    Also , thanks A3G for implying that people who are ambivalent about having children have all had a fucked up childhood somehow.

    Pluggers : Nooooooo! The Easter bunny is supposed to be cute and fluffy , not a morbidly obese guy in a 1950′s pickup truck!!

    MW : That preacher guy in the second frame looks like John Boehner crying.

  16. Señor Tortilla
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#8): Not unless Brooke creates pregnancy-fetish art.

    BGSS: Are those ladies boobs sagging THAT MUCH?

    Bizarro: Oh, by the way, Thomas Kinkade died on Friday.

    Curtis: You’d think that he’d comment on the “taco hat” or the “satellite dish hat”

    FW: “And like the famed building in India, I’ll probably end up having multiple wives: that makes you, Lisa, and is Funky’s wife tired with that blob yet?”

    GA: Slim is 60?! That makes Slim as old as a Plugger, but with 12 times the stupidity and 1/16 the charm.

    Luann: Please, never use the phrase “Lusty Luann” ever again.

    RMMD and MT: Been thinking about this: are Mark Trail and Rex Morgan related? Both are named after their comic strips, but don’t appear in them every day. They’re supposed to have jobs, but don’t really have competence in them. They have wives, but have no real interest in them. Both seem absorbed in their own tiny kingdoms…

  17. C. Sandy Cyst
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

  18. pugfuggly
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @Gringo (#5): @OMEGA SUPREME (#13):

    Yeah, and HUGE TITS!!!!!

    Wait, am I doing this wrong…?

  19. Anonymous
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Once again Judge Parker starts out like a porno and expertly ruins the moment. Well played, curiously titty syndicated strip, well played.

  20. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Archie: Phaneromania: n. The habit of reading the Archie, Marvin, Spiderman comic strips, et al..

  21. John C Fremont
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#y91): A3G’s Nina sounds like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle.

    MT – Quoting from MST’s Pod People, “We’re just as confused as you are, folks.”

    RMMD – Maybe tomorrow Iris will announce that clothes are too constricting. I hope, I hope, I hope.

  22. sporknpork
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I know the Easter (Earl?) Bunny is local farm fresh, but does he use free range farming practices? However, the fact that Henrietta’s face has been gracing the side of milk cartons in Pluggerville for months now doesn’t bode well.

  23. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Hey, Bob Weber, Jr. — I can’t believe the creator of Slylock Fox forgot that today is DRAW A BIRD DAY:

    http://www.dabday.com/

  24. Hibbleton
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    FC: Funny if you imagine Giant Stoner Chicken pointing out the locations instead of graveyard grandpa.

  25. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MW: Who the hell is this William Samuel Johnson? Did she start to type “William Shakespeare” and then think maybe it was Samuel Johnson, and just split the difference?

    // This is just lazy stupidity. And no editing. And they just don’t care. And this is not the first time they’ve furgled the Sunday quote! No excuse. If she’s too old to use the internet, she can at least get a dead tree copy of Bartlett or the ODQ. I want pitchforks and torches, now!

  26. Mumbly Joe
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    I love how the second thing out of Luxury Car Ed McMahon’s mouth is a preemptive declaration that he’s not a lawyer. I guess somebody warned him that Ms. Bowers is handy with a shotgun.

  27. Daniel
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    “I’m Sidney Lamont from Cruthers Jackson.”
    “The law firm?”
    “No, the least-known of Michael’s older brothers. I play bass. Got some tasty licks.”

  28. UncleJeff
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke, Dog From Hell: Poor Phil Hitler. He can’t even sleep in on Easter Sunday.

  29. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    BB: “Look. Beetle Bailey is skiing backwards over rocks holding a branch.”

    Walker Industries uses some kind of spin the dial plot-o-matic device, right?

  30. btown
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Eggs, etc? What else is the Plugger Bunny delivering besides easter eggs? My guess is tularemia.

  31. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Archie

    Merriam-Webster says PHANEROMANIA is “a persistent or obsessive picking at some superficial body growth (as in habitual nail-biting).” Which might explain why none of the characters in today’s strip have fingernails. Unfortunately, Hiram Lodge controls all available supplies of denatonium benzoate the town of Riverdale would need to fight the current Phaneromania Epidemic.

  32. Ed Dravecky
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    The Taj Mahal is a mausoleum built by Mughal emperor Shah Jahan in memory of his third wife. The Taj-Moore-Hal is a rundown house occupied by Mopey Les in memory of the only woman that has ever mattered in the history of humankind, his dead first wife. (Run, Cayla, run!)

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Frazz: clever.

    PBS: like a freight train, you know the pun is coming, and you can’t avoid it. (I was amused at this one. also, show tunes.)

    9CL: service. mmmmmmm, service.

    JS: color monkey fail on Barry. but nice to see him in the line-up.

    Lio: magically wonderful. (also, yLio was a hoot!)

    SBp: algae eaters are inherently funny, amirite? (or is it just plecos?)

    rMC: win, with anthropomorphics.

    FW: excuse me while I lose my breakfast.

    RMMD: mmmm, bourbon and cleavage, my favorites!

    SFx: that. is. AWESOME!!!! *.

  34. Jessy
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    The members of the charmed circle in Judge Parker are not the 1%–more like the .0000001%.

  35. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Bill the Butcher (#Y88): Doonesbury: I’m beginning to have a bad feeling about this; a really bad feeling. Like, bad as in four years’ time Jeff Redfern will run for President on the Afghan War Hero ticket.

    Will he be 35 then? In any event I think you need more time for imaginary events to become legendary. But eight years, maybe. Twelve, you can bet on it.

  36. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Daniel (#27): “I’m Sidney Lamont from Cruthers Jackson.”

    That’s actually Sidney Lamont Cranston. He has the power to cloud men’s minds. Those are actually a pair of matched 1992 Dodge Colts.

    // Who knows what evil lurks in those 1.5L 4 cyl. engines?

  37. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#32):

    I hope Cayla and Les pick FUNKY TOWERS in Blackpool, UK as their honeymoon hotel:

    http://www.funkytowers.com/

  38. commodorejohn
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Blondie – That’s a sweet whale picture. I want.

    FC – The moral? Dead saints play favorites, apparently.

    FG – Today, in the Sunday funnies: a man being tased out of sex with a plant!

    FW – Oh, how sweet! Not only will you be living with a man obsessed with his dead wife, Cayla, you’ll be living in the same house she lived in! I’m sure you’ll only hear about what Lisa did at this or that spot three or eighty-seven times a day! Not to mention the chill running down your spine on the porch swing, or the way things tend to move around and fall on the floor the moment you’re alone in the house! Have a happy marriage!

    JP – God, would you let Woody Wilson win the lottery, please? Then he can be actually rich and not have to constantly fantasize about it, and Judge Parker can get some better plots.

    MW – What I love about this is that “obvious fake televangelist tears” in Mary Worth look exactly like every attempt to portray sincere, legitimate sadness in this strip.

    PV – Quoth Aleta: “I’m right here, you know.”

    RMMD – Ohhh yes.

    SF – Sally knows that her daughter is also Ted’s child.

    SFx – …how did Popeye’s head fit through the bars?

    SM – Reed Richards is running for office? Yeah, that’s about the level of excitement I expect out of this strip. Although the penultimate panel would make a good airbrushed heavy metal album cover from…about 1978.

  39. Faoladh
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: I see that Nina went to the Shatner school of delivery. “It’s. Not as bad… As I expected. Tommie!”

  40. ArchieNemesis
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#16):

    … are Mark Trail and Rex Morgan related?

    Clearly they are, given the current Mark Trial storyline, and the appearance in panel two of RMMD of a giant red BONG.

  41. Lanfranc
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    JP – Uh huh. A “gift from a friend in the Middle East”. To a state judge so that he’ll “overlook” the recent unfortunate events. That sure doesn’t sound illeg…

    Oh wait, this is Judge Parker. I guess no one will give a fig, then.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    otterbomb.

    for bb,u. (not a bulldog)

    catholic boys can only wish. (mildly naughty)

    classic C&H ftw.

    Zatanna cosplay level 100.

    o ye godz! I would SO watch this!!

    blasphemy. (starring Garfield) that’s more like it.

    in my college years, we tried using the Force for this. *gigglez*

    Pudge in a lei.

    corgsqui.

    corgi eyes, no match for beagle eyes.

  43. Braniff
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#24): Did Graveyard Grandpa have an accomplice helping him with PJ’s scavenging? Ida Know? Not Me? Nobody?

  44. Ursula
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    PV: Funny how memory works. Something tells me Aleta will tell us what really happened next week.

  45. Ed Dravecky
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Dang it!

    Veteran newsman Mike Wallace has gone to ambush interview painter of light Thomas Kinkade.

  46. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Blondie: That’s not a painting of a whale. That’s The Portrait of Dagwood Bumstead, made when he was a young man. Originally, it was an exact likeness, but through some strange magic, the portrait has slowly altered over the years, and now shows the enormous bloated monster he should have become after all these decades of gluttony, while he himself remains slender and youthful.

  47. Digger
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Well kids, it’s time to tell you the truth about the Easter Bunny. He’s nothing more than a near-sighted redneck who drives around the countryside in a dilapidated shitmobile. Also, Santa is a morbidly obese dog who currently takes 15 different kinds of medication just to stave off death a little longer.

  48. Trillian
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @MapDark (#15): (9CL) I think you’re giving Brooke too much credit here. Showing bare pregnant bellies has been a hot trend ever since Demi Moore’s Vanity Fair cover. Many non-celebrities are even having such pictures taken these days. Not only will Brooke not feel any qualms about drawing pregnant Edda in a bikini, he may even feel obligated to…you know, for art’s sake!

  49. Ukulele Ike
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#12): Did anyone notice that the “Luxury Sedans” in Judge Parker are actually SUVs?

    Well, of course. You didn’t expect our JP heroes to tool around in anything less, did you? They NEED to be up higher than anyone else on the road, with more powerful engines, and absolutely no compunction about using more than their share of fossil fuels. And don’t worry, they have plenty of cash to fill those gas tanks!

  50. TheDiva
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#16): Good point. Hell, he probably arranged for Edda to get knocked up so she could fill the gap left when Sister Mary Lapsed Catholic gave birth to her non-cockroach.

    Lio: So, how come the Blue Fairy is obviously traced from the Disney model but Pinocchio himself is a copyright-friendly variation?

    Luann: “Lusty Luann”? As if. Why not “Cocktease,” the fragrance for girls who won’t commit to a guy yet expect him to be devoted to them regardless?

    MW: It says something that Mary is preachier than the resident televangelist.

  51. Harold
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Schrödinger’s cat is the ultimate Plugger. At least until someone opens the box and looks inside.

  52. Zerowolf
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wouldn’t it be easier to recap the week by printing in block letters: “NOTHING HAPPENED”

  53. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42): Thank you, sir—I needed some fun & squee to make me smile.

  54. Zerowolf
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I can see Nina’s point on the pregnancy = death association. It’s like being told your company is moving to Westview home of Montoni’s Pizza, Toxic Taco, and cancer, but hey, you’ll still have a job.

  55. Doug Puthoff
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Dangit Josh! I can’t believe you failed to mention the comic strip event of the past two years: the return of Dead Grandpa in FC. You let us down like the Masked Marvel against Lucy Van pelt.

  56. Zerowolf
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    FC: This reminds me of George Carlin for some reason.

  57. ironflange
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    JP: Wow! After so many years, Blondie’s headlights have some real competition!

  58. DavidMac
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    At least the Judge Parker strip has women with well-endowed chests (can I say “nice tits”?), not like those flat-chested babes in 9CL.

  59. Zerowolf
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: It appears that everyone involved with Mabel life spins out of control and dies a drunkard. Mabel is the anti-Mary Worth.

  60. Poteet
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#38): I will mentally repeat your prayer re JP, and will add a P.S. regarding Brooke and a sex life.

    As an aside, there are at least a few of us who just want cars that don’t gulp huge amounts of gasoline and will get us safely from place to place without breaking down. I’d sell those sedans tomorrow and use the cash for something else. But congrats, April, and enjoy.

  61. Zerowolf
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @DavidMac (#58): Oh compared to the things that our dearly missed Dingo came out with, “nice tits” is very mild indeed.

  62. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @C. Sandy Cyst (#17): Thanks for the shout-out. I’m lovin’ it.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25): Couldn’t you just sharpen the edge of a circular slipstick and use it like Odd Job?

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#36): “Who knows what evil lurks in those 1.5L 4 cyl. engines?” I’m finding some way to use that at work tomorrow.

    @Digger (#47): Waaaaa!

  63. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    April 8th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Lapine libel!

  64. ArchieNemesis
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#40): I’d like to claim that my earlier post was some kind of Easter egg hunt, but the truth is I accidentally confused the two strips about handsome privileged males and beautiful half-dressed women. Judge Parker is the one with the BONG, not RMMD. No more wake and bake for me.

  65. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#16): Luann: Please, never use the phrase “Lusty Luann” ever again.

    Would “Busty Bernice” be any better?

    @Doug Puthoff (#55): I can’t believe you failed to mention the comic strip event of the past two years: the return of Dead Grandpa in FC.

    Is that who he is? With the alb and cincture, I thought it was St. Anthony.

  66. Chance
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#52): COTW Contender!

  67. Señor Tortilla
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @DavidMac (#58): …and faces that actually resemble humans! One of our many complaints about 9CL is the fact that they have lovingly drawn bodies but cartoonish faces.

  68. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#45): Did you know Mike Wallace was once the announcer for “The Green Hornet” radio show? (There’s probably a joke in there somewhere, but it eludes me)

  69. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

  70. bats :[
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    MT: We’re not out of the woods yet

  71. bats :[
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#45): What a great visual that evokes…thanks, Ed! :D

  72. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

  73. Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    MT Why isn’t there marijuana growing under these magnificent, beautiful trees? Did the deer eat it all? I’m gonna call Ranger Tom Martin to investigate.

    CS Yeah, me, too. I’m just looking for a little something to quench my curiosity about where the joke is in this strip.

    BG&SS I was particularly impressed that Elviney accessorized her Easter regalia with a simple apron, embracing her traditional role of nourishing and sustaining her family. Which gave me pause to think: Why don’t fashion designers include aprons in their cutting-edge couture?

    FW Well. of course, it’s the “Taj-Moore-Hal”! It’s all about Les, or when it’s not Les, it’s Lisa. Rarely, Summer. No room for anyone else, thank you very much. Let’s give someone else credit in a lame punchline for a change. Couldn’t this “palace” possibly be the Palace of the Calyaphs?

    MW And when Mary’s talking “low,” you can’t get any lower than Nola. I bet Mary has pasted a picture of Nola in her dictionary next to the definition of “low.”

  74. bats :[
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

  75. Chyron HR
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Unseen 4th panel of today’s Luann: “Okay, how about Bernice!, the fragrance that you wear when you want to fuck your brother? Because, granted, Brad makes it really easy, but the fact remains that I’ve never wanted to literally fuck my actual brother, have I, Bernice? Now get the hell out of my house.”

    (Actually, that should be the last panel of every Luann with Bernice in it.)

  76. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#70):

    Ground Control to Ranger Tom
    Ground Control to Ranger Tom
    Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

    Ground Control to Ranger Tom
    Commencing countdown, engines on
    Check ignition and may God’s love be with you

    (Ranger Tom Martin meets David Bowie?)

  77. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    TASM: Borland’s Turbo Assembler (TASM) can be used with Borland’s high-level language compilers, such as Turbo Pascal, Turbo Basic, Turbo C and Turbo C++

    Oops. Anyway, Editor Jameson evidently just reports the election from what he sees on TV, having fired all his reporters. Good thing he has a photographer, or he’d be forced to illustrate the Daily Bugle with vidcaps.

  78. This Guy
    April 8th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    FW: Fun fact: the Taj Mahal isn’t a palace, it’s a fucking mausoleum. Batiuk is out-snarking us in his own strip.

    6C: The only evidence here is of parental pride. If this hypothetical woman is forcing her kids to do all the things she always wanted to do but couldn’t manage, then there’s a problem. Any road, I’ll take these stickers over “My kid can beat up your honor student” any day of the week. Those are the parents I really want to throttle.

    RMMD: I can’t get enough of Drunk Iris. I hope she stays drunk and in the strip forever.

    RWO: Brings us the real flayrah.

  79. Shrug
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#16):

    “Been thinking about this: are Mark Trail and Rex Morgan related?” (snip)

    Another bit in common: both names sort-of pun on their profession — “Mark Trail” being what an outdoorsy type might do, and “Rex” calling to mind the doctoral “Rx.”

    I am now thinking of CRISIS ON COMICPAGE-2, where we visit an alternate world in which Rex Morgan is an outdoor writer and Mark Trail is a doctor.

  80. Shrug
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Naked Bunny with a Whip (#63):

    I recommend the bunnies in POOCH CAFE today. What happens when the E.B. decides “no more Mr. Nicebunny.”

  81. Arabella
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    FW: I was disappointed that we didn’t see the ghostly face of Lisa in the window. Maybe she was in one of the upstairs (bedroom) windows while we were only shown the downstairs. I’m sure Cayla sees her.

    If any comic does a Titanic tie-in next week, it will be this one.

  82. odinthor
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Baldo. — “ . . . because, if I don’t have a job and get a good education, I’ll spend my whole life taking care of a goddam tree like you. And I’ll lose my hair!”

  83. Poteet
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#8): Now that I’ve managed to stop laughing, I beg you not to tell us what Pluggers would do to Baby New Year.

  84. teenchy
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#12): Yep, they’re reasonably accurately drawn M-class SUVs. Artist and writer need to get their signals straight.

  85. Santa Royale With Cheese
    April 8th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’ll pile on with the “really? naming your house after a mausoleum?” comments and add, maybe if Cayla is all into that rap stuff they could call it the House of Usher.

    Also: Cancer.

  86. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#85): If Cayla stays with Les, she might as well call it the House of Ulcers.

  87. Ukulele Ike
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Baldo: I haven’t consulted a blowup of today’s strip, but at Darkgate-size it appears that Baldo’s dad has cultivated a tomato tree.

  88. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#9): At the rate the central characters of Juggs Parker collect outlandish bling, I’m sure someone will be offering them a live dinosaur pretty soon.

  89. Poteet
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#88): HAR! But who knows, a live dinosaur might be too subtle. I see Abbey as future owner of The Diamond as Big as the Ritz.

  90. DreadedCandiru2
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#78):
    And the best thing is that he doesn’t even realize it.

  91. Hairhead
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Jesus Christ, Bernice is a cunt. Now I almost never use that word, but look, all of the horrible characters that Evans has created have occasional good moments, moments when they reveal some positive aspect of their characters. But Bernice? Bernice is a name-calling, backstabbing, put-downing, fault-finding, snarky, miserable, hypocritical, hypercritical, vicious, depressed, machete-mouthed bitch, and likely a bisexual, incestuous harridan.

    Fuck you, Bernice. (Actually, “fuck you” is right — Bernice would be perfect for hothot hatesex.)

  92. Ned Ryerson
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#88): @Poteet (#89): How about a diamond car with a pah-lat’num wheel?
    Hidee hidee hidee ho…

  93. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42): catholic boys can only wish

    And a happy Easter to you, too, good sir!

    Aside: Am I the only one who thinks this movie is going to be hilarious?

  94. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#88): Turok, Son of Bling agrees with you.

  95. Poteet
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    S-M — Good luck explaining why you’ve taken her to the ER.

  96. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42), @Gringo (#93): Which begs the question: how did three Jewish boys end up in a Catholic orphanage?

  97. seismic-2
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Cranky & Funky: For the whole week now, Batiuk seems to have just given up even trying, on both strips. Can the newspapers please follow suit and give up on carrying them?

    9CL: More Ars Gratia Artis, of course, and shame on all beefwits who perceive it otherwise because they lack the sense of aesthetics necessary to appreciate it for the work of pure art that it is. And speaking of smug self-satisfaction…

    MW: How long will Mary continue to gloat over something with which she was not involved? Or was it she who drove Smithers downtown for Nola’s “chance” meeting and who hired a waiter from the Bum Boat to pose as, you know, an actual Bum?

    JP: Woody Wilson is deliberately taunting us now, right? Anyway, I assume one of these vehicles has the ex-daughter-in-law’s torso in the trunk, and the other one has her head. April and Randy can share a good laugh over that, while Sam and Abby figure how many of those “luxury sedans” could fit inside the Road Queen.

    RMMD: Putting the fun back in “funeral”!

    Pluggers: Like many previous posters, I too am intrigued by the “Eggs Etc.” slogan that implies he’s not putting all his eggs in one basket. Is Plugger Easter Bunny now a business partner with Giant Stoner Chicken?

  98. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus Maximus: Hey, Gramps, if you’re gonna sashay around in a robe, you’ll need at least three fingers of bourbon on hand to keep pace with iris over at Sex Morgan, MD.
    Oh, and say hi to Saint Lisa when you get back to the Taj-Moore-Hal.

  99. Crankshafts funky smelling corpse
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Never miss an opportunity to show the Burber chicks in undress, eh Brooke?

    FW: BWAHAHAHAHA..that’s right, the Taj Mahal is a mausoleum!

  100. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#70): First, Ranger Tom grows bangs. Now he discovers marijuana. The road to hell is indeed a slippy slope.

    This is Ranger Tom to ground control
    I’m feeling very stra-a-ange
    And the clouds look very different
    toda-a-ay …

  101. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

  102. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#12): sedan: A 2- or 4-door automobile seating four or more persons and usually having a permanent top.

    A sedan can be an SUV, and vice versa.

  103. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#72): “Don’t you hate it when your grandkids end up a bunch of hydrocephalic melonheads?!”

  104. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    AD – Ah. Johnny lives. Well, that’s kind of sweet.

    Fred – The other dogs don’t understand your message, Fred. I suggest you work on those stink lines. Your attempt to sound and smell hot for Fifi comes out less like a pheremone and more like a fairy moaning.

    Herb – There’s a strip in Highlights for Children that calls itself The Timbertoes, but it’s just a fake. This is the real Timbertoes. Simply restate everything in the third person as captions, and you’re timbertoein’, baby. ” Sarah and Uhuru are back from the market! They have brought a bunch of eggs to color for Easter. “I’m going to boil them and paint them!” says Uhuru…

    Judge – Ah. Rich people are giving cars to other rich people. All’s well with the world.

    Mary – Nola is considering various redemptive things to do with her life. She might see about becoming part of the SubGenius cosmology, or perhaps go for the gold and see if she can become the new Betty Crocker figureface for the decade.

    FamilyPJ sees dead people. BEEEEM! [*]

  105. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#91): Jesus Christ, Bernice is a loves cunt.

    This, I believe, is more correct and more explanatory.

  106. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#96): how did three Jewish boys end up in a Catholic orphanage?

    Which begs a further question: How did Larry David end up a Catholic nun?!

  107. endless sky
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#81): Actually Crankshaft would be more likely to do a shout-out to the Titanic. Ed probably knew one of the ill-fated passsengers.

  108. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#107): Actually Crankshaft would be more likely to do a shout-out to the Titanic. Ed probably knew one of the ill-fated passsengers.

    Cranky is both old enough and a bad enough driver to have been the helmsman of the Titanic.

  109. Not So Great Old One
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @endless sky (#107): Crankshaft was the captain on the doomed liner; he thought he saw his neighbor’s mailbox on the ‘berg.

  110. un malpaso
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Pretty stark contrast here ‘tween the one-percenters (J. Parker) and 99% (Pluggers) on the same comics day. Just saying, makes you think.
    Makes you think that maybe the pluggers should grab their pitchforks and go all French Revolution on that snazzy little Parker bungalow. I can see it now… mad rabbits and disgruntled bears tearing apart Mercedeses and Lexi… Dolce & Gabbana flying in the air… pickup trucks idling.. medicine bottles strewn about…

  111. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Off topic: Is anyone else watching The Masters? A double eagle and two holes-in-one today!
    Plus, I think I just spotted Geddy Lee in the gallery!

  112. Gringo
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#111): I think I just spotted Geddy Lee in the gallery

    This Oosthuizen kid is cerntainly in the limelight now. He’s no fly-by-night golfer. In fact, I’d call him a working man.

  113. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#106): Which begs a further question: How did Larry David end up a Catholic nun?!

    He’s a brother mister from another mother a different sister?

  114. Ride dem haunches
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: “KEEP BACK 200 FEET. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EGGED WINDSHIELDS”

  115. Horace Broon
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    FW: “Besides, if we moved, Lisa’s Ghost might not come with us.”

    MT: Okay, can someone explain to this European why that doesn’t make the Douglas fir an invasive species, displacing Scots pine and other native tree life?

    MW: Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!

    PV: Val is terrified that Nathan will grow up to be a medieval Jackelrod. And who wouldn’t be?

    OTF: If there’s one thing I love more than computer game gags involving actual computer games (rather than Chainsaw Death Rally 2000 in the “new technology is EVIL!” strips), it’s crossovers. And I don’t know why, but they’re particularly fun when they’re entirely pointless and unnecessary (possibly because one gets the feeling the creators just did it for the hell of it). So I really liked this.

    SFx: No computer game gags, but yay for pointless crossovers! (All right, not entirely pointless, because the answer hinges on Popeye being there, but still…)

  116. Borborygmy
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#36): Close, but those are actually ’87 Dodge Shadows!

  117. Horace Broon
    April 8th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25):

    Hey, it turns out there was a William Samuel Johnson! I’m as surprised as you!

  118. Jamus The Bartender
    April 8th, 2012 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Well….she almost DID get shot in this story arc….I think we should cut April a break here.

    On the Pluggers/Anthro-Animal question: Cassandra Cat says, “Absolutely not. Hmph”, but then she’ll blow a hairball into her paw when she thinks no one is looking. That’s gotta count as Plugger behavior.

  119. This Guy
    April 8th, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#115): I love a good Portal gag. Thing is, the portal device would be rubbish for infiltration, since it couldn’t get you into an enclosed space unless you could get into said space to place a portal to begin with. About the only scenario I can imagine where it’d work would be finding an open window in a building such that you can fire a portal in from the outside.

  120. bats :[
    April 8th, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#96): So…how many Jewish orphanages do you know of?

    @Gringo (#111): truly a day for miracles!

  121. agony
    April 8th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#78): @This Guy (#78): “Any road, I’ll take these stickers over “My kid can beat up your honor student” any day of the week. Those are the parents I really want to throttle.”

    Around here, those “my kid is an honour student” bumper stickers were given to the kids on prize day. So I’m supposed to tell my proud nine year old that I won’t put her sticker up because some asshole driving down the road doesn’t think it’s cool? Screw them – I’m a parent, I don’t need to be cool.

  122. Austria
    April 8th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    I’ve seen a few PBS pun strips in my day. But Stephan Pastis’ head on a Pez dispenser takes the cake. *applause*

  123. Liam
    April 8th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    JP-You have windows on the door why don’t you look out of those instead of having what’s his face look out the window. When did April change her shirt? Yesterday her shirt was red and now it is white. Was there some reason behind the shirt change and why couldn’t we see it?

    JP 2-Damnit! I wanted April to be rewarded with the head of the woman that wanted her dead not with two cars. Hopefully the head is in either the trunk or the glove compartment of one of the cars.

    MW-Shut up with the fucking platitudes for the love of god shut up.

    Curtis-Barry has stumbled upon a fundamental truth about existence in the Curtisverse; the jokes are stale. Sadly this knowledge will be lost the next day and Barry will go through the motions of monotony like everyone else around him.

    FW-Les, the Taj Mahal is a tomb in Indian that a man built for his dead wife. I find it disturbing that you are comparing your house to the Taj Mahal. Do you plan on burying Cayla in the basement and declaring the house a monument afterwards?

    PBS-That last panel is disturbing.

    Sally Forth-The Forths are such a disturbing family that a minor act of child abuse can be considered a tradition.

    A3G-That is what Nina needs is a mother in her life. If she has a mother then she would be more open of motherhood and be a caring mother instead of a crazy woman who will drown her kid in the bathtub.

  124. ElkMeadow
    April 8th, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Prince Valiant: Okay, oldest son is a knight and a regent; second son is a scholar, living in Jerusalem; and now the third one is an artist? I haven’t followed Nathan–I know that the Little People had an agreement with Val that he have some of his education with them. I think that the oldest daughter rules the Misty Isles in her mother’s place, and her twin is in Ireland, with the druids or whatever they are. So anyway, Poteet, looks like we’re going to get a recap of the romance–and, for the first time, Aleta’s side of the story!

  125. Liam
    April 8th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    JP-Congratulations, April. For surviving an assassination attempt you are being rewarded with a new car.

    Doonesbury-Jeff is probably starting to regret buying his house from a guy only known as “Doctor”.

  126. Calico
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#86):
    The Cancer Castle, or the Peritonitis Palace.

  127. The Ridger
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#105): Not really. It’s perfectly possible to be a lesbian and not a horrible, horrible person at the same time.

  128. commodorejohn
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#127): Not in the Luanniverse. Both because Greg seems to be obsessed with villainous lesbians, and because it’s generally impossible not to be a horrible, horrible person in the Luanniverse.

  129. kkarenb
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#45): I remember seeing a 60 Minutes story on Thomas Kinkaid several years ago. I don’t remember who the reporter was, but the story was not a flattering portrait of the “artist.”
    A news story after his passing reported that Kinkaid hid the names of his wife and children in some of his paintings. Let’s just say that Hirschfeld he ain’t.

  130. Calico
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#111):
    Emotional end to the Masters-I don’t even watch golf that much, but I just got weepy watching the Green Jacket ceremony. Well done.

  131. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    JP: I bow to this as the archetypical Judge Parker conclusion. The strip is very much like a round of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” where Regis is ordered to make you one whether or not you get any answers right.

    RMMD: It’s nothing less than amazing that Iris’ robe stayed closed through that drunken swing at the air. One might almost think that she was hoping it wouldn’t.

    PBS: Now I’m going to spend a whole week looking around for a Margaret Cho Pez dispenser.

    9CL: Life would be so much simpler if a certain someone were allowed to give his female characters hard nipples when they were exposed to cold water.

    Zits: What–What just happened here?

    S-M: “Hey, I know this hospital! I once… I mean my friend once left his elderly aunt in the parking lot.”

  132. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

  133. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    Mary: Non-surprise of the day: Mary sees people’s faces in her mind as they’d appear in a mugshot.

  134. odinthor
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    #129. kkarenb.

    A news story after his passing reported that Kinkaid hid the names of his wife and children in some of his paintings.

    Word on the street is that he featured the names of his wife and children prominently in some of his paintings, and after he went to bed his wife and children would always sneak into his studio and paint them out.

  135. Santa Royale With Cheese
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    FW 2: Their house is a maus-o-leum
    when people come to see ‘em
    They really are a scree-um,
    the Les Moore fam-i-ly.

  136. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#16):

    GA: Slim is 60?! That makes Slim as old as a Plugger, but with 12 times the stupidity and 1/16 the charm.

    Slim would feel so bad to hear that, if he could do math.

  137. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#77): Unfortunately his one photographer only ever takes pictures of himself in spandex. Which basically makes the Bugle Peter Parker’s tumblr account.

  138. This Guy
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#128): Wait, wait, don’t tell me–because Evans assumes that girls who rejected him in high school were lesbians.

  139. Rocky Stoneaxe
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#120): So…how many Jewish orphanages do you know of?

    I’m glad you asked:

    http://www.soloff.com/hnoh/USJORPH6A.html

  140. kkarenb
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#134): Thanks for the information. Now I know what to look for when I spend my life savings on his pictures. (The local paper reported that a “gallery” that carries his stuff was having a run of heartbroken fans buying everything in sight. There’s no accounting for taste.)

  141. commodorejohn
    April 8th, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#138): Naww, couldn’t be.

  142. Psychid
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    You should’ve also done today’s Slylock Fox, which features the return of Pig from Pearls Before Swine! …And some other characters…

  143. Baka Gaijin
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#123) on Judge Parker, 2: The head will be in the glove box. Mercedes’ glove boxes are air conditioned. You’d need a rather large Tupperware™ Super Crisp It Lettuce Keeper were it to stay in the trunk. Not that I have any personal experience with things like that. But if I were in that situation, that’s my priority of preference. But I haven’t. No experience with transporting decapitated heads whatsoever. [Baka walks off casually, whistling, then sprints away.]

    @kkarenb (#140): I am so tempted to reply. The fruit is hanging so low. So very tempted.

  144. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#117):

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#25):

    Hey, it turns out there was a William Samuel Johnson! I’m as surprised as you!

    I didn’t know that. But surprised? Meh. Johnson is either the first or second most common surname in the anglophone world. William and Samuel are right up there for given names. It stands to reason that there would be someone or other prominent enough to make the encyclopedia named “William Samuel Johnson.” Only thing is, the quote attributed to William S. Johnson, the American senator and college president, was actually said by Samuel Johnson, the lexicographer. better known as “Dr. Johnson.”

    In fact, I can’t find ANY quotes attributed to William Samuel Johnson, signer of the U.S. Constitution. Dr. Samuel “Dictionary” Johnson has eight pages in the ODQ2, and five in Bartlett.

    Karen Moy should be severely fustigated.

  145. Sgt. Stoned
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    MW: Low roads “we” have taken? Aside from the Aldo Kelrast assassination, what other “low roads” have you taken, Mary? Hmmmmm?

  146. This Guy
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#143): What’s in the box? What’s in the FUCKING BOX!?

  147. Alfred E. Neuman
    April 8th, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Hairhead (#91) said: “Bernice is…likely a bisexual, incestuous harridan.”

    A common sentiment. We need to form a fan club.

  148. GrafSpee
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Psychid (#142): It would have been funnier if the “How to Draw a Pig in Mud” section of Slylock Fox (seen here) used Pig instead of a regular pig.

  149. Peanut Gallery
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#144):

    Brainy Quote, GoodQuotes, and A to Z Quote attribute “Hope is necessary to every condition” to William Samuel Johnson.

    The Quotations Page, Quotes and Poem, The Quote Factory, and Quote Collection give it to Samuel Johnson.

    Sometimes, the more data you have, the less you know.

    FYI, The Quote Factory gets my vote for the most endearingly goofy name & logo of this bunch.

  150. Liam
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#145): There was the prostitution and the drug dealing.

  151. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#149):
    I think this settles it. Rambler #67, page 75.

    Brainy Quote, GoodQuotes, and A to Z Quote attribute “Hope is necessary to every condition” to William Samuel Johnson. Fustigate them all!

    Honestly, research is easy nowadays.

  152. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#151): Further information: Johnson was the editor and main writer of The Rambler. However, some of the essays were written by others. #67, the one about hope, was written by a man called Bennet Langton, See here. Footnote at bottom of page.

    Pfui.

  153. Sequitur
    April 8th, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#146):

    What’s in the box? What’s in the FUCKING BOX!?

    Graphically played out.

  154. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#152): Mea culpa. I should have spotted it. Fustigate me.

    If you actually read Rambler #67 (see comment #149 above for the link), it begins,

    Hope is necessary in every condition. The miseries of poverty, of sickness, or captivity, would, without this comfort, be insupportable; nor does it appear that the happiest lot of terrestrial existence can set us above the want of this general blessing; or that life, when the gifts of nature and of fortune are accumulated upon it, would not still be wretched, were it not elevated and delighted by the expectation of some new possession, of some enjoyment yet behind, by which the wish shall at last be satisfied, and the heart filled up to its utmost extent.

    The rest of the essay is just as dull, tedious, obvious, boring, and unnecessary. None of those words apply to anything I have ever read by or even about Dr. Johnson*. He could not have written this, and I am surprised that he published them in a journal he edited, and later allowed them in his Collected Works. Anything to oblige a friend, I suppose.

    * They do, however, perfectly suit Mary Worth. The quote is more condign than I realized.

  155. Alison
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Puddles returns! Hooray! PUDDLES!

  156. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @Microsoft Office 2010 (#156): This spam is so 2010.

  157. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#140):

    (The local paper reported that a “gallery” that carries his stuff was having a run of heartbroken fans buying everything in sight. There’s no accounting for taste.)

    That depends on whether you’re talking about the kind of accounting that accountants do.

  158. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 8th, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#157): Who doesn’t love vintage Spam?

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:06 am [Reply]

  160. Anonymous
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#155):

    Wait. Is that one of her bras next to her on her bed?

    I didn’t need to see that!

  161. Der Schnärkïnätör
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    161 was me.

    Damn cookies!

  162. Baka Gaijin
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#146): The head. Weren’t you paying attention?

  163. tallyHO
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    About today’s Plugger News:

    Are we even certain that is the Easter Bunny? I for one never considered her/him to be a workaday type of person; all down-homey and stuff.

    It just says “E. Bunny”. It could just be Earl Bunny. Or, Eggcentric Bunny, who flies about in his modified ve-hickle that emits low-carton emissions.

    Your eyes ain’t lyin’. Them eggs is flyin’! That truck has some pick up to it.
    Yeehaw.
    Un-hunh.
    Yup.

    I think this inventive Plugger is the most madcap of the bunch. Why, I bet he has a device that comes out of the grill and takes care of all the roadkill he hits with that truck. Some sort of hifalutin’, flapjack flipping, Plugger Scooper Picker Upper.

    Hell, maybe that explains the “Eggs Etc.”

    What?
    What is Roadkill in Pluggerville?

    Euthanized Elderly.
    **************************************************************
    Finally,it is worth mentioning this:

    it took THREE PEOPLE to come up with the quip that inspired that cartoon. THREE…three….oooh booey….three…as in the same number of days it took to….yeesh.
    If I’s believed in numbero-apology, I’d say sorry for not seeing the connection to this day. And, ta think I was lookin’ for messages in today’s “B.C.” when da reason for da squeezin’ was here all along in da Sunday Plugger News.

    Happy Easter, Charlie Mudges!

  164. tallyHO
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Hell, maybe that explains the “Eggs Etc.”

    He gets it done over easy.

  165. Poteet
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#124): Thanks for catching me up, and I look forward to Aleta’s version. I’m still annoyed at Val, however, for stopping his son from drawing a turtle. I like turtles, and their mating is calm and dignified compared to that last panel.

  166. Dennis
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    Curtis: You need to swipe that satellite dish hat. That way when you get home you can watch stuff like Mexican wrestling or Dukes of Hazzard in German.
    Fun fact Sorrell Booke who played Boss Hogg was fluent in five languages including Swahili, Russian, and Japanese

  167. Droopy Says
    April 9th, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Please let Sif be all right. If she isn’t, it’s another month of listening to Thor talk like an idiot. He could have avoided this whole pointless arc if he’d only looked around Asgard. “Sif? Why doeseth thou liest about Asgard like a drunkeneth animal of parties, with thy mouth agape as thou issueth faux-archaic snores?”

    Mock Trail: Mark Trail wanted a mission, and for his sins, they gave him one. After Rangertommartin vanished, they told Trail to go up the river and terminate Major Kurtz with extreme prejudice . . .the pancakes! The pancakes!

    Creepy Les: Is Batiuk prepping FW to become a legacy strip? “You can repeat my old story lines. Just turn Les into Cody and Coach Bullshit into that big guy, and you’re set for another forty years.”

    Creepy Les, again: Tick Tocks? Since when do bullies talk like that? And since when does any high school boy joke about the size of another boy’s ass?

    Family Circus: Jeffy? Barfy wants his shit back.

    Pluggers: This was much funnier in “The Joys of Yiddish.”

  168. Poteet
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    4/9 A3G — So the takeaway lesson is that if you are as clueless as Nina and Scott, don’t worry, because your friends who have inexplicably large amounts of spare time will help you out and guide you to the right ways to save your marriage. Sounds like a plan.

  169. Poteet
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    4/9 MT — Ooh, what a great fantasy — a land manager who has enough money and staff to just assign a “crew” to take care of the problem whenever unwanted vegetation is found. I’m drooling.

  170. commodorejohn
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#169): Well, it makes a tiny bit more sense than whatever the hell 9CL was trying to say about pulverizing infants for bathroom grout.

  171. Ed Dravecky
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    “Makes more sense than 9CL” is the third-lowest hurdle to leap in all of comics, beaten only by “faster paced than Judge Parker” and “less scatological than Marvin“.

  172. This Guy
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    4/9
    9CL: The correct response was “I understand. Now, let’s talk about anything else.”

  173. Droopy Says
    April 9th, 2012 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#169): Since Rangertommartin works for the Federal government, wouldn’t he have to report the marihuana to someone? The DEA, FBI or (this being Mark Trail) the EIEIO? He must need some sort of official approval before he can ask Trail to get involved.

  174. Mr. O'Malley
    April 9th, 2012 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#37): We went to Blackpool on our honeymoon. Not only there. But our sojourn in Blackpool was nearly as much fun as our tour of Hadrian’s Wall.

  175. Mr. O'Malley
    April 9th, 2012 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    As I remember the story of Shah Jahan, building a tomb for his wife nearly bankrupted the empire, and he was planning to follow up by building a black one on the other side of the river for himself. So his son Aurangzeb usurped the throne and locked up his father in a prison where he could spend his remaining days looking out the window at the Taj Mahal.

    Les Moore has a daughter, maybe she could adapt the concept for modern times.

  176. Little A.
    April 9th, 2012 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo sure is a swell interior decorator. She chose beautiful furniture for the nursery: a stepladder and a can of paint. Unusual, but beautiful and functional at the same time.

  177. Swordsmith
    April 9th, 2012 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#143): Sure, one head, that could fit in the glovebox. But what if you have eight heads? I’m pretty sure the universal standard on that is a duffel bag.

  178. Peanut Gallery
    April 9th, 2012 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#154): Well done! I agree, research is easy these days, in the sense of not having to go to the library, but vetting sources is hard. I wonder what bb,u would say if a student turned in a paper citing The Quote Factory? :-)

  179. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    April 9th, 2012 at 8:09 am [Reply]

  180. gleeb
    April 9th, 2012 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Sure, the old universal solvent dilemma. But seriously, at best, M. le Comte commits little nuisance crimes, which is why the fox wouldn’t think he’s about to destroy the world.

    ‘bean: Here’s Batiuk’s problem: he thought that was funny. In fact, it was awkward and stilted.

    Phantom: Too many people dress down when flying. Not Lee Falk. He puts on an aquamarine ascot and makes an occasion of it. Don’t know how he sneaked the skull-cane on board, though.

  181. Comcis Fan
    April 9th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#162): This is one of the charming quirks of the Comics Curmudgeon site, and I include myself in this: we don’t want even a bit of our snark to go uncredited.

  182. boconn
    April 9th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: If the black guy was in front the dialogue would be, “I’m Cruthers Jackson from Sidney Lamont.”

    Notice the Judge is wearing his Green Sport Coat. This fiasco is gonna make him late for the final round at Augusta. Also, too, even the other old boys at the Masters aren’t dweeb enough to wear matching green trousers.

    Missing final panel: April says, “I’m gonna get my mirror on a stick to check underneath for explosives.”

  183. SE
    April 9th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    FW: This is not the first time I’ve heard people confuse the Taj Mahal with a palace. But in Les’ case, the fact that his comment is actually comparing his home to a tomb not only still works, I think it actually becomes MORE appropriate.

  184. Shrug
    April 9th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#179):

    Wait, I “don’t have to go to the library”? But why would they keep sending me salary checks? I must look into this…

  185. Deb T
    April 9th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Say what you will about Pluggers, but I love that pick-up truck bouncing over the bunny trails.

  186. giraffe-o
    April 10th, 2012 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    I’m just realizing – the target audience for Judge Parker must be Mitt Romney supporters. Or, perhaps, Mitt Romney himself.

  187. Whamjet
    April 10th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#102): No. Sedans are not SUVs and SUVs are not sedans. Dictionary be damned.

  188. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    April 10th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    I think the only thought in the mind of the everyone who reads or is a character in Judge Parker is “My God, how does someone get gravity-defying bosoms like that?” Well, everyone except Randy.

    - yeff

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