Happy Easter, everybody! Did you ever have warm feelings towards the Easter Bunny, that lovable fertility symbol turned Easter mascot? Well, prepare to have those completely washed away now that you see him for what he really is: just another plugger, with his eggs stacked haphazardly in the back of his beat up pick-up truck, just stone cold flying out all over the highway, so what if some of those baskets come in a little light, he’s not paid enough to care, those little squallers can kiss his furry ass, you know what I’m saying?
Judge Parker, 4/8/12
Haha, yet another Judge Parker storyline has ended in lucrative rewards for one of the strip’s main characters, who did nothing to deserve it! Last time around Judge Parker Emeritus gained the fawning love of millions for accidentally falling off a building; this time it’s April, who got a couple of Mercedeses from her Saudi prince friend as a way of apologizing for the ways in which his vast polygamous family’s internal politics inconvenienced her. Oh, also, he probably had one of his daughters-in-law executed, but the important thing here is that April and Randy will be tooling around in shiny new cars, huzzah!