The Comics Curmudgeon

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Thursday quickies

Mark Trail, 11/29/07

Johnny’s in jail and his wife is getting in touch with the only one who can help him: nature writer and vigilante Mark Trail! How will Mark help his fiery Québécois friend? By punching the mountie who arrested him? Punching the guards at the jail? Punching the prosecuting attorney, the judge, and every member of the jury at Johnny’s trial? Punching Bull Malone’s corpse? Mark’s the expert, so we’ll just have to wait and see, but it’s sure to be exciting.

Apartment 3-G, 11/29/07

OK, now the narration boxes are just being cruel. “Lu Ann takes a deep breath…” OF CARBON MONOXIDE.

Crock, 11/29/07

“Then she realized that we live in a tent in the desert without any electricity — or, for that matter, phone service.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 09:27 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Crock, Mark Trail. |

354 responses to “Thursday quickies”

Bootsy
November 29th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

Mark Trail has it all today. We have a What?, Andy the dog sitting at the table, tiny talking horsies and a bonus talking hay bale, and dialogue that makes no sense whatsoever.

Life is good.
Bootsy
November 29th, 2007 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Hey, where is everybody?
Sheilagh
November 29th, 2007 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Hahaha, that phone has no CORD. But it’s a land line! How is this possible??? My mind is boggling!!!
Inspector Dim
November 29th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

FOOB has been singularly enjoyable this week, what with Mike receiving mild criticism for the first time in his life. Unfortunately, I’m sure that means that another three weeks of Baby Liz an’ Toddler Mike, complete with spit-up jokes, is to follow.
Sheilagh
November 29th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Mutts was sweet this morning. I read it and had to give an extra pat to my fine lapcat Kilroy, who makes himself comfy every morning while I read the comics.
Isaac
November 29th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

Did we already know that the blob-shaped woman in Crock was named “Grossie”? I wonder if she’s related to the characters in TDIET.
Dennis Jimenez
November 29th, 2007 at 9:42 am [Reply]

A3G – LuAnn is ready for the insertion shot – about time.

Blondie – I feel cheated – we usually get at least one shot of Blondie’s right breast in the blue chair panels.

DtM – OK – not menacing, but (IMHO) funny.

Foob – Is there a can of Glade handy?

MT – !?!

MW – Yeah – he might have gotten up and gone home – the horrors.

RMMBLA – Steve Earle’s got the Devils Right Hand.

TDIET – I’d say if your parents name you Wombo, you are pretty much doomed.

JP – Yeah – Biff should spend his money sensibly, on multi-million dollar Parisian apartments. Not to worry Abbey – nobody hears a word you say – so spellbound are they by your breasts.

FC – Alternative caption – And daddy wants to tickle my naked bottom with it!

Adios Amigos
Derelict
November 29th, 2007 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Arrested for murder? Don’t bother calling a lawyer. Just call a sporadically employed freelance nature writer. He doesn’t need a law degree–as Panel 2 of today’s strip shows, his magic ability to transform into a foal is enough to sway any jury.
Bootsy
November 29th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

I like how Mary Worth tells Dr. C that she found Chester “passed out” by the side of the road. Not “injured”, not “unconscious” but “passed out”.

And by “passed out” she means “faking his own death to avoid my meddling”.
jules
November 29th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Crock: “Oh, and also, when the live person asked for her name, she had to say ‘Grossie,’ and it hit her like a ton of bricks. Ha ha!”

MT: Mark is too awesome. He turns into a beautiful colt to help his friends!
Inspector Dim
November 29th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

“Mark Trail powers, activate! Form of–a galloping foal!”
gkl
November 29th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

GA: Someday I hope to be a foreign dingletary.

GT: “We have a two-and-ten season riding on this game. Play through the pain!”

Pluggers: So, little pluggers have unhealthy foot fetishes?
Yoqi
November 29th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

I know, we don’t expect too much from Crock. But even so, virtually no part of Grossie is identifiable besides her comically tiny feet. Which of those amorphous blobs in her .. head region is her nose?
I think if I saw this character out of context, I would describe it as “baby Jabba eating someone whole.”
Mr. Coffee Nerves
November 29th, 2007 at 10:05 am [Reply]

FOOB: I’m afraid I’ve gotta agree with the yesterthread comments of sonneta and The Avocado Avenger

The slack-jawed yokels who are purchasing The Book as a present for others and not appreciating the sublime genius in every word, punctuation mark and blank endleaf are supposed to represent us — those who cannot appreciate Lynn’s puns and those plot twists that Steve Wonder could see coming. Lynn would never, ever give us the last laugh on the St. Mike’s Magnum Opus/Pinnacle of the Written Word.

After suffering this single week of slings and arrows from (us) illiterate unwashed masses, Saint Mike will have “just one more person” waiting for an autographed copy. That person will then thank Our Hero by passing him plane tickets for the entire Patterfoob family to come to Stockholm.

Why? Because that last-in-line patron is the Chairman of the Nobel Prize Committee who flew to Suburban Toronto International Airport instantly upon finishing the last page — he will be bubbling with joy about the Literature Prize (and possibly the Peace and Chemistry prizes) being summarily awarded to The Book and its writer/author.

But John won’t be able to go to the ceremony. He will have died attempting to have sex with one of his trains. And not in the good way.
flimflam
November 29th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Mark Trail’s second panel reveals that the frame story which takes place in a distant, post-apocolyptic future where the oral history of nature’s punchy defender is passed from one generation to the next as the electric hay bale demands.
EZ_e
November 29th, 2007 at 10:09 am [Reply]

That last MT panel is baffling. The dialogue is great: Marie,Mark, is it true what Johnny said about Johnny. Yes, Mark, it’s Marie, Johnny said that Mark said Johnny….
Is the horse Johnny or Mark?
commodorejohn
November 29th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

9CL – I’d vote for him. (…did I just say that?)

A3G – Why do all three panels in this strip seem to be leading up to different events?

DT – Way to go, you dolt. Some criminal mastermind you are.

FOOB – “That was the sound of my pen-er, ego deflating.”

JP – You’re a killjoy, Abbey, but as long as you keep putting in appearances like panel two’s, I don’t care.

MF – You’re way late, Fillmore, but at least someone in the funnies is making note of this. RIP, Madeleine, you’re one of the people who started me reading as much as I do.

MT – You know, stuff like a talking colt doesn’t even surprise me anymore.

MW – Dr. Jeff knows when to stroke Mary’s ego if he knows what’s good for him.

RMMD – This story is finally moving from “horrifyingly creepy” to “gut-bustingly hilarious.” Niki, you dolt, what do you think is up with the gun!?

SM – Spider-Man, out-heroed by his wife. Why isn’t Mary-Jane the focus of the strip!?
Chupper
November 29th, 2007 at 10:10 am [Reply]

I’ve learned from Mark Trail that the universe we see is just the interior workings of a single cell inside a foal, and within that cell live Mark, the Lost Forest, and all the mysterious workings that give life to equus ferus. Every other cell in its body is likely an additional alternate universe full of strange happenings. Perhaps the opposite side of the horse has a universe-cell in which righteous evil-doers punch facial hair off Mark! In any case, the existence of a giant horse whose DNA gives rise to Mark Trail has to make you question the existence of so-called intelligent design. Then again, Rusty’s face should have made you do that years ago.
Burning Prairie
November 29th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

So is Lost Forest some kind of preserve for huge, mutated, talking animals?
The ManRayX
November 29th, 2007 at 10:16 am [Reply]

#6 “A3G – LuAnn is ready for the insertion shot”. . .and either the keyhole is nearly at eye level OR she is on her knees for that long awaited shot.
JongEfong-fong
November 29th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

Hey group. I am new to this but have loved all the comments. I used to love the comics. Now I am addicted.

Are there any other mudges in the deep south? In Alabama? In Birmingham?

I got interested in MW some years back when my paper dropped the strip. The backlash was so great I had to find out what was up. Now I love/hate her. Her smugness at her little trick is off the charts. Dr. Cory and Chester should both poop on her carpet.
Windier E. Megatons
November 29th, 2007 at 10:23 am [Reply]

I’m thinking that Crock could start every strip for a year with “What’s wrong with Grossie?” The first two strips could be “Her name” and “The fact that I can’t even tell where her head is supposed to be.”
sonneta
November 29th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

7. Derelict- I literally laughed out loud at your comment.

13. I’ve got to go with the prediction of someone on binky_betsy who said that Elizabeth would come in Tomorrow/Saturday, and announce that Stone Season is #1 on the NY Times Bestseller list.
gh
November 29th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

#5 Sheilagh –

I was thinking the same thing. Our teacup chihuahua does this to me every evening — and looks like Mooch to boot.
cheech wizard
November 29th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

MW – Mary found the dog passed out? Ah, now it is revealed! The dog is the reincarnation of Aldo! No wonder it keeps licking her face. No doubt it will soon be humping her leg as well.
sangwij
November 29th, 2007 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Did anyone else read, “Mare, this is Mark…” In my defense, it’s early, but today’s poignantly misplaced thought bubble seriously confused me for a few seconds. I had to re-read it a couple of times. Meanwhile, I was all prepared to accept a storyline in which Mark had mysteriously reincarnated into a colt’s body and was preparing to gallop to the aid of his friend, after he got done suckling his mom, of course.
I’m serious.
sangwij
November 29th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

#25 – ..errr.. speech bubble. MT.
It’s still early.
Joe
November 29th, 2007 at 10:35 am [Reply]

FOOB: How many more days of St. Michael’s book-signing BULLSHIT are we going to have to endure??

Fuck you, Michael. I hate your horrid brats too.
Mack
November 29th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

FOOB – In my experience, the usual book signing for a first-time author usually involves them sitting awkwardly at a card table for three hours while shoppers browse the shelves next to him and try not to make eye contact. I did love the first few strips of this week, when most of the people at the signing were clearly friends/family who were probably mentally wondering which short leg of the couch this book would best prop up.
bats :[
November 29th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Oh, Josh, the answer’s right there…Mark Trail is going to punch out the Mountie’s mount! And then punch out her foal for good measure…that’s why the Good Lord gave him TWO Fists o’ Justice!
Inspector Dim
November 29th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

Well, of course the unappreciative book-buyers in FOOB are supposed to be evil. I mean, just look at those teeth.
man behind the curtain
November 29th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

MW — All Dr. Jeff has to do is hire someone to pose as Chester’s owner,, claim Chester, and then send Chester off to the pound.

FBOW — I’m sure that any day now Michael’s book will be found in the remainder bin at a 90% discount.
King Folderol
November 29th, 2007 at 10:40 am [Reply]

MT – Gotta love Mark Trail. He gets a phone call that someone he knows has been arrested for murder, yet still has the range of facial expressions of a corpse.

Crock –

What’s wrong with Grossie?

She realized that she’s a character in a comic strip that makes Family Circus look hilarious by comparison.
King Folderol
November 29th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

MT – Gotta love Mark Trail. He gets a phone call that someone he knows has been arrested for murder, yet still has the range of facial expressions of a corpse.

Crock –

What’s wrong with Grossie?

She realized that she’s a character in a comic strip that makes Family Circus look hilarious by comparison. She’s using that phone to call her agent.
srah
November 29th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

#21 (Windier E. Megatons) is screaming out COTW to me.
King Folderol
November 29th, 2007 at 10:47 am [Reply]

#13 – There’s a good way???????
z
November 29th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

that phone is clearly not connected to anything. maybe it’s a primitive cell phone.
Wonder Boy
November 29th, 2007 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Why is Alan vigorously flipping off Lu Ann in panel two? Barely contained contempt? Foreplay? Warning of the forthcoming insertion shot?
Jocko
November 29th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Shades of Judge Parker

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20071128/D8T6U9V00.html

Ted Turner’s Land Purchases Questioned

His front men say their boss doesn’t have a secret agenda – he just wants to be a rancher. But each big buy only heightens the anxiety and gives rise to conspiracy theories.
Among the theories: Turner is trying to corner the land over the Ogallala Aquifer, the world’s largest underground water system, to gain power in the water-starved West.

Ya think.
pedant patrol
November 29th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

#6 Dennis Jimenez:

“Plugger – Speaking of black loafers – how is your father?”

Is that supposed to be funny, as opposed to crude and racist?
Groovymarlin
November 29th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

#13 Mr. Coffee Nerves: There’s a good way?

While that image definitely frightens me, I agree with your analysis.

Wow, I thought the whole Lizardbreath/Granthony storyline was trite, dull, and mind-numbing. This St. Michael the wonderful author thing is all that and a bag of chips – in this case, insufferably smug chips!
z
November 29th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Just as evolution has given horses the ability to run short moments after being born in order to escape predators, so it has also given them the ability to gossip shortly after birth.
Joe
November 29th, 2007 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Haha, Crock, that’s funny. Almost as funny as the time I saw a teenager walking down the street with ripped jeans. I asked him, “How much more did you pay for those jeans to come pre-ripped?” and he responded, “Oh, I ripped them myself.” Can someone remind me why I read the insane ramblings of people who voted for Nixon in 1960 every morning?
bergamot
November 29th, 2007 at 11:03 am [Reply]

Remember when the dad in Baby Blues kept referring to his kids’ turtle as an amphibian? You, disgruntled Mudges, have been heard!
Sarah Marie
November 29th, 2007 at 11:11 am [Reply]

No love for FOOB? It’s having its best week ever!
NotMe
November 29th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

MT: Oh there’ll be some punching being done, all right! And Mark’s just the guy to do it.

But first he better punch his way out of that horses stomach he seems to be trapped in.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
November 29th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

I’m glad the little horse said who he was. I wouldn’t have recognized Mark Trail as a horse.

Actually, if he can shapeshift. why doesn’t he just turn into a dinosaur or something and stomp on everyone who crosses nature? It’d be less creepy than Mr. Lovesducks.
Sal Paradise
November 29th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

S-M : Yep, there’s our hero, folks, cowering behind the dumpster.

He’s probably wondering what’s on TV later.
TheMattlyOne
November 29th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

I like that we’ve gotten to the point in Mark Trail where it’s not even worth commenting on that in the final panel we have dialogue apparently coming out of a horse’s armpit.
Bunnë
November 29th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

You know, it’s odd to read a story (FOOB) in which the writer clearly plays favorites with her characters in deciding their fates. The odd thing is that life does seem like that sometimes — some people do get all the breaks. Sometimes you just want to stamp you feet and say “God always did like you best!”

Marcia Marcia Marcia!
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 11:24 am [Reply]

FOOB:

In FOOBville books are to be given not read. God forbid you actually read it critically. Note the elegant yuppiness of the gift buyers compared to the critical orc in panel 3.
Chesnut
November 29th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

I know Mark Trail is notorious for inappropriately placed speech bubbles, but seriously, is Marie speaking through a horse’s clavicle? Do horses even have clavicles? Why is Mark Trail even making me think about this?
Allie Cat
November 29th, 2007 at 11:28 am [Reply]

FOOB – Look at Lynn trying to be all inclusionist! The gent in the first panel who looks not unlike Gwampa Chinnuts appears to be wearing a yarmulke.

Is this her way of saying, “Stone Season” makes a great Hanukkah gift?

That’s eight nights of royalties for little Mikey!

In FOOB Cawfee Tawk today, someone suggested killing off April in a drunk driving accident. And they printed it!
Lindsey
November 29th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

What I don’t get is, how did Alan live in that flat for years and never hallucinate about the dead ghost of Woodrow Wilson or Picasso or Luann’s mom or whatever the heck he’s thinking about? Didn’t they throw a huge party up there with many people? Was it just because he had the window open at all times? Luann spends two weeks in there and almost dies, but nobody else seems to be affected.
Moss_Moses
November 29th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

“Old Country Road” now was “New Country Road” a few weeks ago. Perhaps they renamed it to memorialize Mary Worth’s charitable heroism but they should call it “Hag Highway”, “Nosy Terrace” or maybe “Meddlesome Way”.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/comics/king.html?name=Mary_Worth&date=20071029
Cranky
November 29th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

“Marie, this is Mark. I can’t believe I’ve metamorphosed into a colt!”

I know I’m piling on, but, my god, does Elrod just smear glue on the back of the dialogue balloons and throw them at the partially finished-strip from ten paces?
Dennis Jimenez
November 29th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

38 – Well it might be all three – but you are right – over the line – sincere apologies to all. DJ.
Niall
November 29th, 2007 at 11:39 am [Reply]

Thursday funnies – Lord, let them be funny, please…

I can’t say anything bad about A3G today. I fully agree that a minor trauma* such as Luann’s should be confronted by going back to the scene, but not alone.

*A trauma is already big, so I’m making a distinction between what happened to LuAnn, and something like an accident where a loved one perishes – that’s a place you shouldn’t be forced to revisit to “confront the fear”. The latter would be a major trauma.

Both Beetle and Blondie talk about diets (and how to fail them), and I read them in sequence. It was a little jarring. Can anyone actually balance plates on their arms like that?

Dennis gets 2 Menace Points if he’s whispering, 4 if he’s stage-whispering. I think so far he’s actually in the black this week. Though I have to wonder, who has ever seen a leather-soled shoe so worn that it has a hole? I haven’t, and in fact, in European comics I read growing up, only hobos had holes in their leather-soled shoes (obviously taken from the trash). Is Mr Wilson so poor, he can’t afford new ones?

In tomorrow’s FC, if Dolly sneezes, I’d be very, very amused. Bird flu! Would that be awesome?

I initially read JP’s third panel as “He has another poultry from upstate… they commute!” And I blinked. So that’s how chickens get their wings and fly! Then I re-read and it became boring. And stupid. Abbey, it doesn’t matter how much you flash that cleavage, your husband is not interested. (Meanwhile, on Mudgeon highway, ogling accidents pile up.)

YAY! Mark Trail enters the scene – and we immediately have one of the most hilarious misplaced speech balloons I’ve seen! So the foal tries to impersonate Mark and has a well-concealed bluetooth received phone dongle probably clipped to his left ear, talking to Marie Malotte – who can’t tell the difference! Meanwhile, its mother tries desperately to break to avoid the Elrodball that suddenly appeared right in front of her.

Oh-ho! Dr Cory the Elder is taking Mary Worth to task! The accusatory, even possibly angry tone of the first panel (judging fom the art – wait, what am I doing taking cues from the artwork??), and that verbal bitchslapping “with your usual sense of charity” shows he’s well aware of her meddling tendencies and intends to set her straight. I mean, god, look at the disgustingly self-satisfied smug she has in panel 2! Right after she almost looks guilty in panel 1. She knows, she knows it was wrong, but she has to lie to herself or she couldn’t continue to live with the guilt of years of meddling. Oh please let him be the instrument of our vengeance!!

Was The Phantom, the Ghost-Who-Has-But-One-Functioning-Neuron, intended to be comedy? Because I had to laugh today. That middle panel! Priceless comedy! What a maroon!! I may read this as satirical instead of straight from now on – that the Phantom is a deluded mental patient who dresses up like a freak and has dreams of vigilantism but doesn’t manage to accomplish much of anything. (The Sunday strips are his dreams where he actually does accomplish things – pilot jet planes, evade the law, put the fear of Himself in a whole gang of pirates. Typical dream fantasies.)

..okay, maybe Rex Morgan is also cornball comedy. “What’s up with the gun”?? The tough innercity kid panics at a fish but is unfazed by a gun! Cue laugh track!

It may be sad, but I’ve been meaning to write CHristmas letters to friends for years – bought the cards, but never used them. Sally Forth may yet to a good deed by making me sit down and write them. (They’re individual cards to each person, though.)

Violence!! Violence in Slylock! With a crow finding it funny! Will some papers censor it? (just being silly here… I hope.)

Sorry, SM, the Persuader already has a cheap suit all over him. But not Masters green. (What is it with green suits? I’ve never seen one in reality! Are all the strips coloured by the same monkeys?) And the Demasculation of Peter Parker continues unabated.

Archie, look at Jughead. He doesn’t care. Hint: neither do we.

BC goes Meta! Allies itself with Slylock fox for gratuitous violence! WHat is the world coming to?

DT will soon get ugly and violent – hence interesting again.

H&J Why did I even read?

Like many others here, I’m starting to enjoy TDIET. My fun is trying to retranslate the cartoon to its modern equivalent which was submitted, as well as seeing Scaduto’s unique 50s perspective. Why all Fs when all Ds would have worked just as well? If a middle-schooler had Fs in everything, I think the school would have called the parents quickly.

Pluggers has one thing right – tassels on shoes are icky. Also, loafers are fine comfortable footwear. Pennies are completely optional today, though, and there’s more choice than those two options. But what striked me the most was the dissonance between the speech balloon and the caption; I was expecting something about “Pluggers don’t need major labels to be happy” (the reference to the wheat stain as a “design”). Last-minute change?
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

JP: Are we supposed to accept the fact that Sam Driver is a good businessman because he (temporarily) still has some money? He invested in a winery where he was losing his shirt and desperate to get out of UNTIL someone actually wanted to get him out of it at top dollar. He showed them! Then he blindly follows the nonsensical business whims of a 10 year old (YAY! Bottled water! BOO! Bottled water). Doesn’t he realize that McMullethothead is willy nilly spending his dough on what? Now he doesn’t care that his pastural idyll is ruined by a freakin’ noise, ground and air pollutin’ airstrip right next door. Panel 3 sums up my opinion of Mr. Samuel Driver, his word balloon should be “Duh-herrr…”

On a side note: kudos to the juggalicious women that keep me hooked…
Lolsworth
November 29th, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

Grossie has to live in a tent in the desert. Is it any wonder she’s concocted a rich fantasy life by tying an old reciever and cord to a rock and squawking down it about her non-existent public utilities? I’m just worried that her imagination only stretches as far as mundane things like electricity bills.
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 11:51 am [Reply]

DT: I am kind of proud of the Mudge community for tacitly ignoring the infantile Dick Tracy plot line. Who didn’t see that one coming a mile off? What I don’t get is why the criminal would choose to use kidnapping to get something as non-portable as a mansion. Currency? Sure. Precious metals? Ditto. A mansion? Not so much.

In mitigation Mr. Tracy makes a passable bunny wabbit hand puppet in panel 3. Not so easy when your fingers end at the first knuckle.
Red Greenback
November 29th, 2007 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Dennis the Slight Irritant: A little late here folks, but Dennis was all ass and elbows yesterday. (I shudder to think what the punchhline would be if doc was giving Dennis a shot in the elbow)
GF: http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/162/4/527 BTW, there was an excellent link on this here blog awhile back about about field studies on plastic bread ties in the wild.
Peace.
HB Glord
November 29th, 2007 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

#6 — Re: Pluggers comment: Without a mitigating context, which is difficult for me to glean, i’ll charitably and passively voiced say a line has been crossed. I’m very offended (and not just as an African-American, though that helps — and by “helps” i mean “angers,” of course).
Dennis Jimenez
November 29th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

I could offer some drivel about plugger’s voice versus mine, but it was a bad comment – not funny – offensive – I’d appreciate it if you would cut my comment 6, Josh. DJ.
Josh
November 29th, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

#62 DJ — Done (just that bit).

Josh
RichterCa
November 29th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail takes its talking to animals trope a step further, by having the people in the house respond to the talking colt via megaphone. Perhaps Mark is using his animal empathy to communicate with Mrs. Frenchy McQuebecois through one of her husband’s horses?

Re: Crock, I guess when your company only provides electricity to a few tent-dwelling, hat-wearing Cro-Magnons, you can’t afford the latest in phone-answering technology.
PattyCake
November 29th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

#13 Mr. Coffee Nerves: I thought “Steve Wonder” might be a new action/adventure comment with which I was unfamiliar, cf. Mike Nomad, Mark Trail, Steve Canyon, Buz Sawyer, Brenda Starr.
Marthas Rolling Pin
November 29th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

#56 Niall, I think the Pluggers reference to wheat as a design refers to the pennies in the loafers. Wheat ears were on the obverse of pennies until 1958, which is a sly implication about the age of Mr. Pluggerdog’s shoes.
PattyCake
November 29th, 2007 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

PattyCake: Comic, not comment. Sheesh.
Marthas Rolling Pin
November 29th, 2007 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Sad to say, I remember hoarding wheat ear pennies in a jar over the fireplace right after the design was changed, because they were going to become scarce and valuable. So Mr. Pluggerdog’s shoes may be doubling as his investment account.
Niall
November 29th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

yesterthread 88 Big Ted: my GP gives me a shot in the rear end every three weeks. It’s a hormone shot that is best administered there. Thank goodness it’s not intra-muscular… same place, MUCH bigger needle, MUCH bigger pain in the…

Indeed, Today’s Mark Trail is a winner on so many levels.

56. me: I evidently tried to say that the horse mother tried to brake. Lest she breaks her legs. Gah.

61. HB Glord: on #6, I glossed over and couldn’t find anything funny. I had to reread it three times after seeing the first offense at it to see the very offending remark, because I do not think along those lines or make those kinds of mental associations. I’m joining you in the line crossed, even moreso because it was so underhanded.
Islamorada Girl
November 29th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

Speaking purely as a novelist, the whole FOOB storyline about his instant saintly bestsellerdom is so unbelievable I can’t even buy it as fiction. Okay, maybe fantasy, but only if he’s tortured by some villian from Pigporn.
Gabe
November 29th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

Heathcliff is stealing bits from Family Guy, and I approve. If only the rest of the week was going to be HC vs. Guy in Chicken Suit, I’d be happy.

Elrod has once again provided fan service with another hilariously misplaced dialogue baloon. Yes, I’m totally convinced he does it on purpose.

They way the Dick Tracy strip is going, by the time Tracy finished up the Haloween haunted house he’ll be getting ready for the great easter egg caper.
Hank
November 29th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

RE: MW. “If I had left him there, who knows what might have happened to him?” Unseen final panel: Dr Jeff: “Yes, Mary he might even have gone home to his worried family…”

RE: RMMD. Say what you will about the stupid plotines, insipid dialogue, and thinly veiled aura of pedastry about this strip. When he wants to, Graham Nolan can turn in some really good panels. That second panel, with the gun at Rex’s head, has an exciting, almost Lichenstein-ish, quality about it. It’s too bad that Nolan doesn’t have better material to work with.

RE: Spiderman. I hope for MJ’s sake that the Persuader isn’t a fan of the old Mary Tyler Moore series because if he is, the next words out of his mouth are going to be “…and I HATE spunk!”

RE: MF. Another example of how this strip would dramatically improve if the creator would dump the Republican duck as the main character and focus on the kid.
pedant patrol
November 29th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

#63 Josh, if this is “delete offensive comments day”, you can now delete my #38 wherein I take #6 to task.
AhClem
November 29th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#60 Red Greenback -
The bread tie research study can be found here.

I have no idea why I know this.
poppinjay
November 29th, 2007 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

“What’s wrong with Grossie?”

“The Mullah called. She is to be whipped for the crime of being raped, as the Sharia dictates.”

“Oh. Ha ha ha ha!”

“Ha ha ha! But there’s more, she is to be raped for the crime of talking directly to the Mullah, after which she is to be whipped again for the crime of being raped!”

“HA HA HA HA HA!”

“HA HA HA HA HA!”
Muffaroo
November 29th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

A3G – Don’t trust him, LuAnn! If he was really your friend, he wouldn’t be flipping you off in panel 2!
cjc
November 29th, 2007 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Leaving alone the talking foal in the second panel, it seems odd to me that there does not seem to be a tree anywhere in sight at “Lost Forest.” Or is it lost forest in the sense, “Hey, where are the trees?”
Red Greenback
November 29th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

#74 AhClem: Thanks buddy!
yeb615
November 29th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

Can someone please explain what the heck is going on in Funky Winkerbean land? We’re 10 years in the future, meaning the band leader guy retired 10 years ago, right? He’s only now learning how to watch TV and rake leaves????
dreadedcandiru2
November 29th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

Sloppy Maudlinbean: A friendly warning to those of you following the current two weeks of boredom featuring Harry Dinkle. Don’t be terribly surprised if it concludes with a really stupid moral that suggests that he spent all that time at work so he could avoid interacting with his wife and family. Simple as paper, Batiuk may be trying to turn him into Mike Patterson in a monkey suit.
OdeToLA
November 29th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

#34, my interpretation was that #13 was referencing the notion of “doing a train,” or, as it was known to my parents’ generation, “pulling a train,” that is to say, receiving a high number of sexual insertions in succession.
benro
November 29th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

MT – Unwaxed facial hair = evil

FOOB – Bad teeth = evil

SM – Peter’s going to be all over the Persuader like a cheap suit, after which the Persuader will fold like white on rice. (By the way, I actually own a suit that is the same color as the Persuader’s, and it wasn’t cheap.)
Gabe
November 29th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

79: He was the dept. head of music for the last 10 years.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 29th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

#41 Joe

In 1960, they let people vote for Nixon every morning?

:)
Perky Bird
November 29th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

Spider Man–

Peter seems to know so much about the qualities of cheap items (cheap watches, cheap suits). He must have spent a lot of time in a Plugger’s house.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

So much has already been written about Mark Trail’s magical transmorgification into a baby horse that I won’t belabor the point of how INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL that is.

But I also liked the casual way Cherry called non-foal Mark to the phone. “Hey Mark, phone call….Johnny’s wife….he’s in jail for murder or something…..I dunno. Here, you take it.”
Joe Blevins
November 29th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

MT: We seem to be missing some transitional panels, wherein Mark and Marie touch their power rings together and say, “Wonder Twin powers activate! Form of… a pony! Shape of… a log cabin!”
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Zits: The Zits family continues to wallow in a slurry of murky sexual boundaries! In panel 1, Connie appears to be transfixed by Jeremy’s butt, and then in panel 2, she’s entirely too proximate to his groinicological region. Perhaps she’s feeling around for loose change.

Let’s add today’s ass-gazing and groin proximity panels to the Zits Inappropriateness Hall of Fame, along with October’s pants cavity sniffing episode, and spring 2007’s immortal dad-fisting gag.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
November 29th, 2007 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

As long as we are deleting insensitive and offensive comments, I nominate Poppinjay @ 75.
The Ghost of Jarrod
November 29th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Honestly, the second panel of Mark Trail is almost the perfect distillation of everything the strip is about. Random nature? Check. Misplaced word balloons? Check. Poorly constructed, confusing dialogue? Check. If only Elrod had put a mustache on the mare, and had the colt punching her out, we’d have the apotheosis of the strip.
Red Greenback
November 29th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Hey Mark, why the long face? *rimshot* Also, while reading Mark Trail today, for some strange reason, I got the urge for pineapple.
BigTed
November 29th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

In today’s “Blondie,” we learned that Dagwood’s on a diet. Which seems awfully unwise — shouldn’t they get the tapeworm out of his stomach first?
Niall
November 29th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

69. me: Whoops, should have previewed – my last visible comment was 61. Of course, it was dealt with immediately afterwards… Thank you, Mr. D.J., for your request. (I tried to be very general in my remarks, but if Josh feels it better to erase all traces, go ahead with mine as well.)

66. Marthas Rolling Pin: Oh! Thank you for the explanation I am quite unaware of the obverse of old US pennies. Now old Canadian pennies, on the other hand… :) How sad is it that I thought they were wheat stains, because Pluggers are always in rural areas and so on and so forth… my bad. So unlike the other recent US-centric comic, this one is based on precise cultural memories, therefore a valid reference.

74. AhClem: that Breadties link is hilarious!! Thank you!
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

Zits (you just can’t leave them alone): Geez, wouldn’t most artists note the awkwardness going on in panels 1 and 2? Arrrrgh.

It strikes me that Borgman lacks yer basic, utilitarian, self-regulatory process in his strip craft. Unless the pile of “garbage” under Jeremy’s mattress initially was a pile of porn, in which case Borgman’s self-regulating process is functioning okay in panel 3, but in panel 1 and 2, not so much.

FOOB: I love Michael’s pretentious, huge-necked author-and-writer turtleneck. Heh! Can’t wait till he hits the big time, and starts gadding about in tweed and elbow patches!
Lord-z
November 29th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

“Mark, Exposition is on the phone”.

“I can’t believe what Cherry just told me” sounds like one of those sentences that can only be written by a writer at three AM. Presumably, someone wanted a strip where Mark was told, even it is a rather pointless one, repeating everything that happened over the last two days”.

Ofcourse, it is being said by a pony, so I guess that we should be impressed.
Perky Bird
November 29th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

#88 Spotted Horse–

“Groinicological”–bwahahahahahaha! Oh my, I think that made me wet myself in my “groinicological” area!
Muffaroo
November 29th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

DT – Damn, the guy behind the picture is talking through the mustache. For a second, I thought the big black thing was an open mouth that was being controlled from behind, like Charlie McCarthy or George W. Bush.

DtM – “…and then we’ll get him!”
Moss_Moses
November 29th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Cherry is such a great secretary! She never just says, “Mark, it’’s Bill”. Instead she always lets Mark know exactly who’s calling, be it, “It’s your editor at Woods and Wildlife, Bill Ellis”, “It’s the wife of your longtime friend and companion Johnny Mallotte, Marie”, or “It’s that shameless hussy nympho bimbo who won’t leave you alone, Kelly Welly”. I don’t think the foal is quite that thorough with his phone etiquette…
McManx
November 29th, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

MT — What’s really baffling is not the talking horse, but the panarama in panel two. It appears that Mark’s cabin has been magically transported from Lost Forest to the Great Plains… hence the lack of trees and the mountain range in the background.
SecretMargo
November 29th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

89: SSB — Uhhh…seconded. Is there something going around?

93: Yeah, the wheat is an unexpectedly interesting as a detail, though it does raise the unsavoury spectre of the Plugger in question having worn the same pair of penny loafers since those pennies were in circulation.
Anna Nimity
November 29th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

51. Allie Cat: Well, thanks to True Fable, I am now addicted to perusing the dreck in Coffee Talk in search of secret ‘mudgeoning.(Oh, that is just the saddest thing to admit…)

And, like you, I could not BELIEVE today’s letter suggesting that Lynn off April. OMG! The letter screener really is on drugs. Here’s what the reader wrote:

” It would be a drastic, yet realistic, storyline if April died in an auto accident involving teenage drinking.
I don’t dislike April, so this is not a wish to just get her out of the strip. However, I only feel that a very profound statement could be made about a situation which has existed ever since teens discovered alcohol and cars.
Yes; some extremely likeable young people die far too young…”

Gah! Kill April??? The only somewhat interesting character in the entire Foobiverse? Maybe Lynn wrote this letter herself…
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

MT: I am a little confused by the misplaced modifiers. Is Mark Johnny Malotte’s wife and Marie is merely on the phone? It explains their closeness over the years but not all the Malotte urchins.
Wonkey the Monkey
November 29th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

When Mark learned of the news, there was only one thing to do: transform into a small horse and gallop directly to Mare to deliver the news!
Joel
November 29th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Ok folks, I know everyone has noted and appropriately savaged the placement of the word balloon in Mark Trail today. But for f*ck’s sake people, this one is absolutely beyond the f*ckin pale. Are you freakin kiddin me? Are you? Look at that balloon, its nowhere NEAR the house. Either one of them. I don’t know where Mark is, but I bet its one of those houses, no? Isn’t that where people have phone conversations on land-lines? Inside buildings, usually? And look, its not just inexact, no no, this was not misplaced. Look at the unsexed she-Trail’s word balloon, that is pointed clearly and directly at the side of the house. Nor is Trail’s balloon inexact — its not just coming from nowhere, its placed exactly in the horse’s armpit. Exactly. People, these balloons are placed exactly where they are meant to be, and one of them is coming from a goddamn horse.
Chromium
November 29th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

Okay, much appreciation to Mallard Fillmore for the nice obit, but still, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. Does Tinsley think that he’s so influential that the very mention of an author’s name in his strip will cause people to seek said author out in droves? Because I have no idea what else that punchline is supposed to imply.

FOOB: I like how Michael’s ego has been deflated not because someone didn’t like his book, but because they might not. Oh, wait. I don’t like that. I hate it. I hate everything about this strip.

Crankshaft: Oh no, your grown son might not move back into the house with you when he’s out of college… wtf…

Ballard Street: This made me laugh.
Beauregard Bugleboy
November 29th, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

Mallard likes Madeleine L’Engle? Too bad. His enthusiasm for “Veronica Mars” killed off that show. I think people take whatever Tinsley praises as a counter-indicator.
Krazy Kat
November 29th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

Jack Elrod has entered his Dada period. Next Andy will be wearing a bowler hat.
Nil Zed
November 29th, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Poteet, from the mudge meetups thread

I did see your post, because I was looking to see if Josh had answered my question about my original registration here.

Perhaps we’ll have a non-Christmas at our house and I’ll cook a goose. One of the interesting grocery items I’ve seen is goose fat. Evidently the best thing for roasting veg. I can also get proper lard. and single, double and devon cream, and clotted, which is different also. Why this country is merely catching up to American levels of obesity and not long past us is a mystery to me!
Hogan
November 29th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

On the phone, no one can tell you’re a horse.
Sundance
November 29th, 2007 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Foob – The next person in line should ask Michael if they could read the book first, then if they like it, they’ll pay for it…
Perky Bird
November 29th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Aren’t you all just waiting for the day when the dialog in Mark Trail will finally be spoken by a giant pair of mating mallards?
John Robie
November 29th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Awesome! Mark Trail is about to punch out the law. Justice is blind which means she’ll never see it coming.
commodorejohn
November 29th, 2007 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

#51 Allie Cat, #101 Anna Nimity – Whew, someone suggested that April get whacked? What kind of suggestion is that!? “I like this character and all, I just would like to see her die.” Or maybe we’re reading it wrong and the writer is suggesting that since April’s horrible death is a foregone conclusion with Lynn, it ought to be in the service of a Batiukian PSA so that some good can come of it (psh, like anybody who’s going to be teen-drinking takes FOOB seriously anyway.) Either way, WTF!?
Brick Bradford
November 29th, 2007 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

MT What? Not one “Mr. Ed” reference? All the lazy ‘mudges must be taking the day off (except me, obviously).

I can’t believe anybody reads El’s Coffee Talk (tr. I can’t believe I actually read El’s Coffee Talk).
Jordan
November 29th, 2007 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

“Mar-r-r-r-rie, this is Mar-r-r-r-r-rk. I can’t believe what Cher-r-r-r-r-ry told me. Once Wilbur-r-r-r-r finds my glasses, I’ll phone my lawyer.”
Girl Reporter
November 29th, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

#5 Sheilagh: Mutts was sweet this morning. I read it and had to give an extra pat to my fine lapcat Kilroy, who makes himself comfy every morning while I read the comics.

#23 gh: #5 Sheilagh – I was thinking the same thing. Our teacup chihuahua does this to me every evening — and looks like Mooch to boot.

I smiled big, too. Just last night I had to set aside some proofreading because I didn’t want to disturb somebody who wanted to sleep across my shoulder and down my right arm so that I couldn’t hold my red pen. Or get up to refill my wine glass. And, when awake, really IS a mooch. I keep telling him they’re going to drum him out of the Cat Society if he keeps begging like a dog.

100 Secret Margo: Yeah, the wheat is an unexpectedly interesting as a detail, though it does raise the unsavoury spectre of the Plugger in question having worn the same pair of penny loafers since those pennies were in circulation.

He’s been wearing those penny loafers since he graduated Plugger High.
Darkefang
November 29th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Well, there is something that makes me throw up more than Funky Winkerbean and, unfortunately, I had it for dinner on Monday night. Being laid up for two and a half days means that means that I’ve missed a nanosecond in the Judge Parker universe, three lasagna jokes in Garfield and the Dick Tracy plot somehow regressing a couple weeks, except now with a woman standing next to Dick.

A3G: The locks to that apartment are set five feet off the ground? I guess that must be some kind of anti-midget theft-deterrence system. Or maybe the owner of the building back when the doors still had keyholes was a peeping Tom with a chronic bad back.

Archie: Archie’s two-timing and Veronica’s random flirtations with Reggie and other Rivervale guys are kind of giving me the idea that the kids of Rivervale must be riddled with STDs by now. Except Jughead, unless you can get an STD from hamburgers.

DT: Dick Locher is so proud of that stubby, misshapen hand that he just had to use it twice in the third panel. I mean, it isn’t like he’ll ever be able to reach that pinnacle of perfection ever again.

FC: Found: 6,000 different forms of harmful bacteria. For more information contact the Keane family executor.

Foob: Oh Noes! One of the throngs buying Michael’s book aren’t quite ready to proclaim him a Nobel Laureate without first reading the book! However will he survive such an ego crushing?

FW: And tomorrow we get to watch Harry Dinkle suffer a heart attack while bagging leaves.

GA: Maybe Rufus would find his home less infested with mice if he’d stop cutting perfect little mouse-sized semicircles in his molding.

GT: As far as I’m concerned, every Milford offense is deceptive, since I can never tell what the hell is supposed to be going on.

JP: Generally, the artwork in Judge Parker is second to none on the comics page. Today though, Randy looks like he’s having a stroke.

MT: I don’t get it. Is Sprint installing cellular towers inside of tiny horses now?

MW: I never noticed this before, but Dr. Cory Sr has as little fashion sense as his son. Hey, Jeff, better hike up those pants a little more.

Phantom: How exactly is it that nobody sees a guys in purple spandex riding a big white horse clomping around downtown metropolis with a bunch of tiny black guys?
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

#105 Chromium, #106 Beauregard Bugleboy: Hmm… okay, today’s MF really is a puzzler. I’d really expect a Tinsley commemoration of Whoozits-John-Galt long before Madeleine L’Engle.

I suspect that it’s more of a slam on J.K. Rowling than it is a love letter to L’Engle. Tinsley perhaps has fond residual feelings for “A Wrinkle In Time,” even after his worldview (d)evolved and he worked out that those admirable humanist characters, in this world, are pantywaisted, effete Godless academics.

I love how:
1. Tinsley again has a passing familiarity with the calendar (L’Engle died on Sept 6, soppy tribute to Jonny Hart three months late, Veteran’s Day 2006 snafu), and
2. Tinsley thinks that his legions of readers will act on his endorsement.
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

#118 me: O, tortured prose! Unreadable! What I meant:

[Tinsley's] worldview (d)evolved… in his current world view, L’Engle’s admirable humanist characters are pantywaisted, effete Godless academics.
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

#96 Perky Bird: “Groinicological region” cheerfully stolen from MST3K! Use it often! Use it well!
:-D
Joel
November 29th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

GT 11/29

The other tight end should consider himself lucky — A limited nuclear attack appears to have been waged behind him and all he sustained was an ankle injury.
Joe Btfsplk
November 29th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail – Even if a foal could produce human speech, said speech would most likely come out of its mouth, and not its pectoral region, so I have to assume that the foal is hosting a tick named Mark, who is endowed not only with the power of speech, but with a tiny mobile phone as well.

Over time I’ve become used to seeing Mark Trail’s misdirected speech balloons, but I will probably never figure out the reason for them. Panel Two today could easily have been composed to give the balloon a more appropriate space to exist. Did Elrod trace a picture that he found of some ranch horses, without even the minimal skill needed to resize and reposition them, and then slap on the speech balloons wherever? Does he submit his art in some kind of layered format, and the colorizing newts move the balloons around as they work, and forget to put them back? Is anyone here a longtime-enough MT reader to know how long it has been this way? Do any of the professional toonists who read/post here have any ideas?

Since we have so many comments about today’s balloon, here for your enjoyment is a retrospective of some notable specimens from the past year…

The Telltale Spud

The Great Moose Detectives

Now Elrod Is Just Mocking Us All

Living With Loquacious Groin Syndrome
MotownMJM
November 29th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

Hey! Did any of you notice that in Mark Trail today, the horse looks like it’s talking?

HA! HA!
bats :[
November 29th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

MT: it had to happen, sooner or later:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2074684552/
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

#124, bats -

That is terrific. I’ve never said how much I enjoy your graphics so, I enjoy your graphics.
Joel
November 29th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

GT 11/29

The look on the face of the guy in the third panel pretty much tells you all you need to know about the average IQ of (what used to be) Milford. “Huh? What’re those guys doin over there? Talkin or somethin? I bet they’re talkin. Wonder why they’re talkin. This is totally weird. Why would they be talkin over there? Hey guys, quit talkin, I’m tryin to sh*t my pants over here”
Allie Cat
November 29th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

#113 – I wondered if maybe Batuik was trolling Lynn’s blog, just to take some of the heat off.

Personally, I keep hoping that his Summer Moore (calling her dad Creepy on Sunday) and April Patterson (who took Mike down a few pegs yesterday) will meet in college and become good friends.
Allie Cat
November 29th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

OK – I just submitted over at FOOBlog suggesting that maybe they should “off” Deanna and see how Michael likes taking care of his spawn.

Let’s see if they print it.
Girl Reporter
November 29th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I lose track of who is who in Gil Thorp because a) it’s so poorly drawn who can tell characters apart for cryin’ out loud, and b) I just don’t care enough to try.

So, is the kid who is complaining about “the ankle” the kid who only has one ankle?
Joel
November 29th, 2007 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

129
No I’m pretty sure its the other kid. Which frankly makes the complaint kind of insensitive. You can tell the kid with one ankle because he is 4′6″ and the side of his head looks like the early stages of a chia pet. As for the 750 other sqaure jawed, androgynous, robot-people of indeterminate age, and no personality to speak of, you’re on your own. The artist tries to be helpful by constantly referring to everyone by their first and last name, but is sort of less than helpful by drawing them all identically, and giving you no real incentive to tell the difference.
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Milford has a private High School?
Kiesha
November 29th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

I feel like Lynn Johnston was playing “Spot the Jewish Man” in today’s strip…
Lindsey
November 29th, 2007 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

I’m still looking for someone to convince me to read Gil Thorp. I totally love the Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, A3G and Mark Trail strips but I for the life of me can’t bring myself to even read GT when Josh covers them. I guess it’s because I have to struggle so hard just to understand what the heck is going on that I don’t feel it’s worth my brainpower. You have to hand it to the other comics – they may advance really, really, really, really slowly, but at least you know what’s happening. Also the characters in GT are so, horrifyingly hideous that it hurts me to look at them. I mean, they really are disgusting. I keep wondering how the artist can draw that day after day.

So anyway, someone convince me that GT is worth reading and I might give it a shot, but right now just the prospect of it makes my head hurt.
Joel
November 29th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Lindsey
You have made as strong a caseffor reading it as possible. I mean this in two senses. One, the art work is so abysmal, the plot so consistently illogical and inane, that there is simply no comparably target rich environment. Check out “This Week in Milford” sometime. That guy has the easiest job in comics mockery. In another sense, you make the best possible case for reading Gil Thorp because what you said is actually probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about the comic.
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

#133. Lindsey -

The coach can’t win a game and tells his ex-felon linebacker to kill the sports reporter. Do you need any more reason?
DAS
November 29th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Tinsley thinks that his legions of readers

Tinsley and Michael from FOOB have a lot in common?
monsieurjohn
November 29th, 2007 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Marie, this is Mark. I can’t believe what Cherry just told me! She told me I look like a tiny horse. What a crazy hag. I could sure go for some hay right now.
benro
November 29th, 2007 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Regarding the FOOB Coffee Talk comment:

” It would be a drastic, yet realistic, storyline if April died in an auto accident involving teenage drinking.
I don’t dislike April, so this is not a wish to just get her out of the strip. However, I only feel that a very profound statement could be made about a situation which has existed ever since teens discovered alcohol and cars.
Yes; some extremely likeable young people die far too young…”

When did Batiuk start commenting on Lynn’s site?
Erich
November 29th, 2007 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

In fairness to Tinsley (I can’t believe that’s the second time I’ve used that phrase), this strip was published on Madeleine L’Engel’s birthday, so it actually is timely (for Tinsley).
Girl Thorp
November 29th, 2007 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

122 – The word balloon isn’t slapped on randomly, it’s clearly been placed at the farthest possible distance from the house. Presumably this is intended to be an additional visual puzzle a la Slylock Fox: “Can you match the words with where the sound is coming from?”

Mark Trail exists on so many levels, I am filled with awe.
Phoebe
November 29th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Oh, those gossiping ponies! Cherry really ought to stop talking to them.
kitty
November 29th, 2007 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

MW: “So with your usual sense of charity…” Oh, Jeff. You should know better. Mary doesn’t appreciate sarcasm, irony, or logical deduction! All she understands is bleak cynicism disguised as folksy alliteration or a whimsical pun!
Phoebe
November 29th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

#123 – Aw, now I feel bad.
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

The bet part about the April and Mike interchange is that it is apparent April hasn’t yet read the book (and probably never will) and that Mike made her buy a copy from the toy store.
Sans Sense
November 29th, 2007 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

144> San -

best, dang fingers…
Shermy, the forgotten Peanuts character
November 29th, 2007 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Did you know you can rearrange the letters in “talking foal” to say “not kill a fag”? There MUST be a connection.
Buck Ripsnort
November 29th, 2007 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

117– Darkefang, Jughead catching an STD from hamburgers just makes me think of Portnoy’s Complaint, which is not something you want to think about while eating hamburgers.
And we all know that Elrod would rather draw animals than humans. I suspect his original strips contain ONLY animals, and some unappreciated assistant has to ink in the people.
NotThatGuy
November 29th, 2007 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

MT: So now we know the breeding farm for the mutant horses in Mary Worth.
fishmorgjp
November 29th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Never mind the talking horsie — the house is screaming in a jagged “electronic” word balloon. Maybe the house will unfold into a towering, Transformers-type robot in order to seek great justice!
Uncle Lumpy
November 29th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

#133 Lindsey re Gil Thorp–

I have to struggle so hard just to understand what the heck is going on

Well there’s your problem!

Also — panel one artwork in Mark Trail is strangely good. Has Elrod forgotten these are people?
indichik
November 29th, 2007 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Crock: Is Grossie even lying face-up or face-down? It’s rather frightening that I can’t tell.
dimestore lipstick
November 29th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

JP
He has another poultry farm upstate. As In: Abbey lives next door to a poultry farm.

And she’s bitching about the airstrip?

Girlfriend obviously has anosmia.
Pendragon
November 29th, 2007 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

With due respect for the MST3K team, I seem to recall that the Archie Bunker character from All In The Family used the term “groinicologist” on more than one occasion.
Ukulele Ike
November 29th, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

140: I am totally into killing April Patterson in an auto accident!

But let’s drop the haughty finger-pointing “drinking and driving” scenario and go back to the CLASSICS….the Henry Gregory Felsen YA novels of the 1950s, like STREET ROD and HOT ROD. Y’know, the ones with the wholesome malt-drinking ’50s adolescents (much like a Toronto teen of today) who live happy normal lives until one of them makes a careless move in his motorized vehicle…and spatters his brains and entrails — and those of several of his best friends — all over Rural Route One!

Damn, I loved those books.

http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Rod-Henry-Gregory-Felsen/dp/0883013053/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1196384819&sr=1-2
Spotted HØrse
November 29th, 2007 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

#141 Erich:

In fairness to Tinsley (I can’t believe that’s the second time I’ve used that phrase), this strip was published on Madeleine L’Engel’s birthday, so it actually is timely (for Tinsley).

Hey, I didn’t know that… Color me surprised!
commodorejohn
November 29th, 2007 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

#156 Ukulele Ike – Haha, no kidding. Bet it was after they started listening to that Elvis fellow. Him and his damnable youth-corrupting hips!
Terry C
November 29th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

I’d like to say I’m frightened by Mark’s apparent ability to turn himself into animals, like a Navajo Witch or the guy in that 1980s TV show, “Manimal.” But I’m not frightened, only disappointed, since instead of some ass-kicking animal like a wolf or a jaguar, Mark turns himself into a My Pretty Pony. Maybe his plan is to make Malotte groom his beautiful mane so much that his hands cramp up and he can’t shoot his rifle, thus depriving the Malotte family of food and furs for the coming winter.
UncleJeff
November 29th, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

#126 bats:) — Beautiful. That’s exactly what Andy could say if he could talk. Doesn’t matter what the occasion is. The Trail family being informed of a friend in trouble…the dam breaking…Rusty’s right ear rotting off the side of his head.
Maybe Andy should go out into LoFo and get lessons from the animals in the wild. Being around the Trails obviously isn’t doing much for his vocabulary.
BTW: While checking out Gil Thorp on the Comics.com site…I came upon “Love Is.”
Does any newspaper still run this? Hasn’t the authority of this been arrested yet?
UncleJeff
November 29th, 2007 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

160: Jeez. It’s what Andy “would” say and it’s
“the author” not the “authority” that should be
arrested. I need an editor. Josh???
Gold-Digging Nanny
November 29th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

DT — When did that female police officer grow a moustache?

RMMD — I’m going to cherish that second panel for a good long while.

SM — On Monday, Peter was going to take apart the Persuader like a cheap watch. Now he’s going to be all over him like a cheap suit. What’s next? Is he going to take him out like a cheap floozie?
Tats
November 29th, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

A3-G: Keyholes at eye level; easy access for any would-be snooper or peeping tom. I can’t believe no one thought of it before.

FW: Question: “Okay, now that the leaves are in a big pile… what do we do?” Answer: “Cancer.”

MW: As we watch the skeptical look on his face, we can almost hear Dr. Jeff realize that this charitable Mary Worth is the same embittered crone who forcibly dragged him out of Vietnam, telling him to start up a bake sale instead. I guess Mary has a threshold for charity; she’ll only do a good deed if the positive ends are equal to or less than the inconvenience it causes others.

S-M: I guess the plus side of M.J. being so tiny is that she can use the hollowed-out husk of an old grenade as a winter coat.
SecretMargo
November 29th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

163: re FW: I honestly just didn’t get it. What’s the joke? It’s hard not to come away thinking you’ve just witnessed the sudden onset of a stroke.
MustacheMike
November 29th, 2007 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

Today’s Drabble appears to be a rejected TDIET.
Girl Reporter
November 29th, 2007 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

When I was a little girl reporter, A Wrinkle in Time led me to Arm of the Starfish. And then I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could wear a black bathing suit with a very low cut back.
Red Greenback
November 29th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

Stone Season- “The finest Plugger outhouse paper money can rent”. Sorry, it needed to be said.
NightRaven
November 29th, 2007 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

Hmm… in the second panel of Zits, isn’t his mother Literally checking out his junk?

Also, todays Phantom was the funniest strip in all the comics today. Which actually makes me kind of sad when I just realized that.
Seriously, if only B.C. or Crock could have the comedic timing of that Phantom strip, it’s priceless.
“Waaait a minute…..” (But it’s the silent panel that does it!)
Jym
November 29th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

=v= Dilbert: Today, Wally is upset about goatees. He should get Mark Trail to punch his coworkers’ facial hair right off!
Deena in OR
November 29th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

I just realized that the *only* reason I read Drabble is because Kevin Fagan is my next door neighbor’s brother. That way, I don’t have to lie when they ask if I saw the strip.

Maybe I should be less of an enabler.
ralph
November 29th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

103, Anna Nimity, if they are still giving away those mugs in Coffee Talk, does anyone posting a negative comment ever win the mug? My theory is that they don’t.
126, bats :[ thanks, what a funny graphic! I’m hoping that Andy is going to solve this one.
ltrftp(not so first time)
November 29th, 2007 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

87 Perky Bird
Wouldn’t a Spider Plugger always be a widow?
AhClem
November 29th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

#160 Uncle Jeff -
I keep the following site bookmarked for those rare occasions when someone mentions “Love Is…” I don’t know the guy who created it, and I can’t recall who first posted the reference CC, but here is Rejected ‘Love Is…’ cartoons.
ralph
November 29th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

163,164, FW: I agree with those who theorize that it’s Alzheimer’s. That dignity-robbing, slow death has tremendous outreach to cause severe pain to everyone who loves the person with Alzheimer’s. All that would appeal to the pull-the-wings-off-a-fly mean guy who does this strip.
True Fable
November 29th, 2007 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

#171 ralph – They only started giving out those mugs last month so it’s impossible to say whether they follow their own rules or not.

It’s like, they SAY they print negative comments proportionally to the amount they receive, but we have no way of knowing if that is true or if they’re just blowing air up our collective kilts. Likewise, they SAY they will make a random drawing for the mug winner out of all the printed comments from that month but if they stack the deck to begin with, the odds are they’ll give it to a starry-eyed Kool-aid drinker who thinks there are hidden cameras in their homes directly linked to Lynn’s studio.
Niall
November 29th, 2007 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

173 AhClem: …So that’s Love Is?? I saw those younger.. I mercifully forget where… innocence that is nigh-impossible to pass today. The fact that the “rejected” captions work so well is frightening.
Deborah
November 29th, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

MT: Thank God talking ponies are on the job!

RM, MD: “Whoa, what’s up with the gun?” Is now my new favorite line. Ever. I’m going to say it tomorrow morning when I get to work. In a staff meeting. And again when I make coffee. And when my son gets home from school. “Whoa, what’s up with the gun?”: Good for any occasion!
Moon Mullins
November 29th, 2007 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

126 bats :[
Thanks! I laughed out loud for over a minute. Great upper after a crappy day.
Poteet
November 30th, 2007 at 12:10 am [Reply]

# 110 — Nil Zed, when I cooked my goose (hmm, that sounds kinda ominous), a lot of fat was rendered. I froze the fat and put it out for the birds before finding out that goose fat is supposed to be uniquely yummy. But I’m not too sorry, because I’m at the point where I’d better leave the yummy saturated fats to the birds (sigh). Your list of fats and creams sounds delectable. Best wishes for your goose feast.
Spotted HØrse
November 30th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

#124 Joe Btfsplk: Thanks for tracking down the misdirected speech balloons of Mark Trail. What a service!
bats :[
November 30th, 2007 at 12:19 am [Reply]

TGIF, folks! Hope you all have a great weekend! In the meantime:

JP: awwww, come on, Abbey. The old geezer’s just strafing your property, hoping to get a look down your blouse. If this had been at Trudi’s vineyard, the old coot would’ve steered himself into a hillside…

MT: I hate it when logic raises its ugly head:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2074671415/

MW: what we need is a soundtrack with a cornet or something: Wah…wah…wah…waaaaaahhhhh
Dicky
November 30th, 2007 at 12:20 am [Reply]

160,UncleJeff: The LA Times runs “Love Is” in the Classified sections along with the Jumble, well away from the normal comics.
Electro
November 30th, 2007 at 12:36 am [Reply]

I’ve got a funny feeling that Mark Trail is going to team up with Slylock Fox to learn the upside-down written reason why Johnny Malotte is innocent. Or perhaps he’ll transform into Sylock Fox after he’s finished galloping to Quebec.

Tip: look for an extremely sexy cat named Cassandra, and then look for the smoking gun.
Loopina
November 30th, 2007 at 12:39 am [Reply]

Popeye: You go, Olive – smack that giant weewee!

MT: I’m so glad Andy’s coming – things are always better when Andy’s around. Dogs can smell crime.

SFx: While Max makes his move, notice Little Brown Bear: he wore his favorite bow tie. A freshly pressed sport coat. Slylock is just… so… dreamy…

S-M: “Actually, Persuader, the truth is I just don’t like him very much.”

RwO: This, I like.

Phantom: “No, Devil, I said ‘track’ not ‘attack’! Bad wolf, no!”
Atomic Bird
November 30th, 2007 at 12:41 am [Reply]

FW: Harry Dinkle is just one baseball hat away from being Crankshaft. God help us all if he starts looking for a part-time retirement job, it’d be the Funkopalypse.
bats :[
November 30th, 2007 at 12:45 am [Reply]

FOOB: gee, Mike, we’re all so proud, we could just…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2074716981/
t007
November 30th, 2007 at 12:48 am [Reply]

#111 Beer came out my nose.
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 1:01 am [Reply]

Sex Organ, M.D.: One can only hope that the lessons of Heather’s cabin abduction have not been lost. Much as she was able to make use of a red-hot frying pan, Rex shall shortly have a pot full of boiling water at his disposal. If all goes well, we’ll soon have a poached gunman.

MW: Dr. Jeff is not up for desecrating his favorite Bum Boat with lots of dog dander, but could accomodate Mary and Chester by bringing them to the Hanoi House for dinner, by which of course I mean the restaurant and not the Hanoi House on Business Loop 103 that serves as a rub-and-tug for truckers. After a nice plate of Th?t chó, Dr. Jeff and Mary can then head home for a night of lovemaking or whatever it is they do.

MT: Mark can’t imagine Johnny shooting anybody. Johnny’s taking the gun along to confront Bull Malone would simply have resulted in jamming Bull’s nuts into the trigger guard, or repeatedly snapping the hammer onto his nose. Johnny has never been too good on understanding how a gun is supposed to be used.

A3G: The studio should look a bit different to LuAnn. Now that she’s not hallucinating about ghosts, it’s so much more spacious.
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

Sex Organ, M.D.: One can only hope that the lessons of Heather’s cabin abduction have not been lost. Much as she was able to make use of a red-hot frying pan, Rex shall shortly have a pot full of boiling water at his disposal. If all goes well, we’ll soon have a poached gunman.

MW: Dr. Jeff is not up for desecrating his favorite Bum Boat with lots of dog dander, but could accomodate Mary and Chester by bringing them to the Hanoi House for dinner, by which of course I mean the restaurant and not the Hanoi House on Business Loop 103 that serves as a rub-and-tug for truckers. After a nice plate of Thit cho, Dr. Jeff and Mary can then head home for a night of lovemaking or whatever it is they do.

MT: Mark can’t imagine Johnny shooting anybody. Johnny’s taking the gun along to confront Bull Malone would simply have resulted in jamming Bull’s nuts into the trigger guard, or repeatedly snapping the hammer onto his nose. Johnny has never been too good on understanding how a gun is supposed to be used.

A3G: The studio should look a bit different to LuAnn. Now that she’s not hallucinating about ghosts, it’s so much more spacious.
mumbles
November 30th, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

FOOB: Poor, misguided Dee. Doesn’t she understand, the kids are Patterfoobs, but she isn’t, so SHE JUST DOESN’T MATTER!

(Cue chant, a la “Meatballs”: “She just doesn’t matter, she just doesn’t matter….)

[Although, nice passive-aggressive "I couldn't stick around for a nice moment in your career, even though I probably could have gotten a sitter" move there, Dee.]
Joel
November 30th, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

Hey! You! Motown! 125! No satirizing the satirists!
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 1:02 am [Reply]

oops — double post there from the attempted use of Vietnamese accent marks the first time around.
sonneta
November 30th, 2007 at 1:14 am [Reply]

134. Also, the woman of African decent. Milborough is diverse, apparently.
Captain Thunder
November 30th, 2007 at 1:25 am [Reply]

A brand new Dennis, Vicomte du Stokington is up! More scandalous Regency mischief!

Menacing House
True Fable
November 30th, 2007 at 1:52 am [Reply]

Yay, time again for Late Night Snark w/ Fable!

9CL Oh crap. Thorax.
A3G Oh crap. Any time there’s a “omigosh, LOOK!” panel on a Friday in A3G, we won’t be able to really get much more than that until Tuesday. (pleeese prove me wrong!)
BB Fishwrap. This is just fishwrap because it just doesn’t go anywhere. (Fishwrap is the comic equivalent of Serial Comics’ Bee Grinding, I’ve decided.)
DtM Never mind Joey – what are they dragging around in their wagon? A chunk of wood and what? A ball of spiderweb? And where are they taking it? Out menacing someone? No, that couldn’t be it.
FC You know, today’s wasn’t half bad. Of course, that infers that it isn’t half good either.
FBoFW Made the right decision about what? To even write the piece of shit? To force Dee into supporting him? To ignore his children so he can play with himself in the attic? To make all his friends buy a copy? Mike knows that the kids are hip to the fact that Daddy can’t write worth squat. That’s what he’s got to prove to them, that he can churn out crap and still make a living for them out of it somehow.
FW Okay, okay, we get it, Harry Dinkle has been out of the loop every fall. Geez, Batiuk, way to run an idea into the ground.
JP Ageist. Go fuck yourself, Abbey. Oh that’s right – you already have to! BURN!!!
MT At last, Andy can put that law degree he earned to good use! Or pee on someone’s leg, whichever is appropriate at the time.
MW Dammit, Mary, you dense bitch! The man is wheezing and sneezing and choking to get a decent breath, and all you can do is suggest he continue to suffer by BRINGING THE FUCKING DOG WITH YOU TO DINNER! Hint hint, stoopid – he wants to GET AWAY from Muttley!
Mary Worth, Sadistic Bitchtastic.
Mutts Dontcha just love it when squirrels throw hissy fits? Man! He needs to drop by Rant Extravaganza sometime!
OBH Say, Ruthie! What say I spank your ass until it’s on fire and send you back to bed!
Phantom Unfortunately, Devil thought he said “snack!” and is going to have two nice thick juicy children to gnaw on.
RMMD Look, it’s a Keane kid, all grown up, in the second panel! That’s a Big Fuckin’ Head sitting high on those covers, man.
Rubes What, mountain men never heard of snowshoe rabbits?
SFx Slylock lectures the class on how to overbill your clients for underperformance. Meanwhile, Max scores with the ladies.
S-M OR, the Persuader might decide MJ doesn’t give a damn if her weinie husband is hurt or not. Think about that, Peter.
Zits Bad moods can last just as long as this comic strip does, because that asshole kid is rarely satisfied.
Erich
November 30th, 2007 at 2:02 am [Reply]

#153 – Grossie is like Old Man Muffaroo and Little Lady Lovekins combined into a single character!
Jack Parsons
November 30th, 2007 at 3:10 am [Reply]

MT: for the first time, it is now revealed that instead of living in a giant honeycomb, their cabin is made of logs fitted together in an interleaving pattern. Who knew?
Indiscriminate Babbler
November 30th, 2007 at 3:26 am [Reply]

Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh Mark Trail!
Mark rushes to his Trailmobile and gallops off to save the day!

Traveling inside a horse is not only comfy, what with all the organs keeping you warm and cozy, but eco-friendly too! What better way for Mark Trail to protect the Lost Forest from the myriad dangers that daily threaten the wilderness’s existence?
Mr. O'Malley
November 30th, 2007 at 3:43 am [Reply]

167. You can rent Plugger outhouses with paper money? I thought they only took wheat sheaf pennies.
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 5:23 am [Reply]

Indiscriminate Babbler (198): I’ve always been awed by Mark’s previously demonstrated ability to fly geese, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he has also calculated out the best way to ride inside horses. I recall his previous efforts to dissect ducks to figure out the sort of food (e.g., commercial feeding pellets) necessary to optimize their flight efficiency.
Marion Delgado
November 30th, 2007 at 6:16 am [Reply]

I firmly believe it will be little Mark the colt, not Mark Trail, who solves this. Mark Trail is like a sleazy Dr. Doolittle – the talking animals solve all the crimes and he gets all the credit!
gleeb
November 30th, 2007 at 6:46 am [Reply]

Candorville: With any luck, Our Hero has just strangled this woman. And with her, the dangling, uninteresting plot line she’s part of.

9CL: Can we just get back to the pregnant nun?

FBoFW: You sure did a great job signing your name dozens of times tonight while your wife did all the work of caring for your children.

‘bean: Ah, I see. Resentful after years of having to do everything for the ungrateful fool, Mrs. D’s going to point out that not only Harry has lost the only thing that gave his life meaning, but that it was only a marching band. That tree branch has a date in the near future with Harry’s neck.

Mary: Yes, that’s it. Let’s find out if beagles can swim.

Phantom: So the evil children are to be hunted down for the great crime of…what, exactly? The Phantom’s existence is no secret, just the fact that he’s not the original, and that he’s the mysterious “Walker” guy who keeps hobnobbing with the President and police officials. So why do these kids need to be shut up?
smacky
November 30th, 2007 at 7:13 am [Reply]

Just saw this: http://www.sideshowtoy.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?item=3815&source=112907news

For just $75 you can have your own Phantom ring. Wander the streets at night, wearing your underwear on the outside. If someone says something, punch them in the face and leave a skull impression, just like the Phantom himself!
The Avocado Avenger
November 30th, 2007 at 7:24 am [Reply]

#202 Gleeb – I thought at first you said Michael had been “singing” his name several times tonight, and the thought of FOOB: The Musical literally gave me chills. My arms are covered in goosebumps. Gah.

#195 Truman Fableworth, Esq. – I think Mary’s using Chester to dump her Masters-jacket-stealing, Bum-Boat-taking, advice-ignoring boyfriend. Sure, at her age she should be able to handle this maturely, but this *is* Mary Worth we’re talking about.
dreadedcandiru2
November 30th, 2007 at 7:27 am [Reply]

#195: True Fable — Lynn, of course, thinks Mike is a super dad because he makes money. It wouldn’t matter if he cussed a blue streak, wandered around the Pattermanse blotto all the time, smacked’em around or anything. Hell, as long as he did his male duty and made money hand over fist, we’d be told to look the other way if he had sex with the Patterspawn.
Moss_Moses
November 30th, 2007 at 7:30 am [Reply]

I’ve going to help Johnny and after that I’m got to return to Lost Forest!
Keg of Curd
November 30th, 2007 at 7:32 am [Reply]

Not menacing: [Cuddling teary-eyed friend] “Joey’s afraid his teddy bear will become extinct.”

Menacing: [Bragging to Gina] “I told Joey I was gonna rip up his dumb teddy, and the pansy started crying.”

Please observe the difference. Thank you.
Mibbitmaker
November 30th, 2007 at 7:49 am [Reply]

9CL: WHEN THE HELL DID THAT LOON BECOME LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD???

…..*ahem* … Well, clearly all the Clinton enemies and all the Dubya enemies and reasonable critics of either; the involved and the apathetic; right, left and center; the Michael Moores and the Rush Limbaughs; the Rosie O’Donnels and the Ann Coulters; the Wileys and the Stantises; the Mallards and the Doonesburies! …can all get together in the notion that that man cannot be president! Of the US, of the world, of anything!!

Thorax: crazier than Nixon and Ross Perot combined!

Even 9/11 couldn’t bring us together for very long, but every American (well, except for MacEldowney) can get behind the idea that THAT MAN CANNOT BE LEADER!!

Even Dennis Kucinich and Ken Starr can get together on an impeachment — and both will be reasonable this time.

….And I thought I hated the Reagan administration! Yikes!
Godzooky
November 30th, 2007 at 7:52 am [Reply]

#89 SSB & #102 SecretMargo re: removing #77’s Crock comment: To me, this is a borderline case compared to the out-of-line comment that got removed earlier. #77 ’s comes across sort of harsh, but it’s based on, unfortunately, actual recent events and can be considered an attempt at satire.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2007 at 8:16 am [Reply]

In Friday’s Beetle Bailey, who is the guy looking really close to the TV? Has he appeared before?
Anonymous
November 30th, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

Isn’t the “hero” supposed to be imaginary to the girl? So how does she know what the Phantom looks like?
dimestore lipstick
November 30th, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]

Better late than never–
re: Yesterday’s Pluggers
Who ever put the pennies in their loafers with Lincoln facing down? That’s the only way the wheat would show…
AhClem
November 30th, 2007 at 8:20 am [Reply]

MT – Hint to Mark Trail: If you’re going to hide inside a horse, a la the Trojan War tactic, it works a lot better – and is a lot less messy – if you crawl inside a fake wooden horse, not a real one.

(Yes, I know, this topic has been discussed ad nauseum, but I’m fond of beating a dead you-know-what).
nerowolfgal
November 30th, 2007 at 8:26 am [Reply]

Friday’s MT: My god Mark, your friend is charged with murder, how is bringing your dog to the jail supposed to help?

Unless of course your dog is a lawyer, which I guess is possible in the world of the Lost Forest talking animals.
smacky
November 30th, 2007 at 8:28 am [Reply]

GT: Wait, Did the one-legged boy just make a running catch over his shoulder? When is Take it to the Bucket: The Bill Ritter Story going to air on Lifetime?
Godzooky
November 30th, 2007 at 8:30 am [Reply]

MW: Sorry, Mary. If the Health Dept. regulations in California or wherever Charterstone’s located are anything like New York’s, Chester’s definitely not allowed (scroll down to the last Q&A).
Conor_ahearne
November 30th, 2007 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Mark Trail needs no cord for his phone! He sends all his messages by talking horse! He’s just that damn clever.
Tweeks_Coffee
November 30th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

BB: Boy does army life look sweet. No wars, HD TVs and lots of wacky characters to pal around with. Screw this desk job of mine, I’m joining the army!
DtM: What can I say about this that hasn’t already been said?
DT: There has to be a guest artist drawing these mansion panels, right? I mean, there’s no way the person who drew Gretchen drew that SWAT guy too.
GF: Nice.
GT: Who’s that freak in the second panel (No, not Gil, the other guy)? I thought they just had the three coaches, now they’re introducing a new one? Where the hell has he been all this time?
JP: Boy, Abbey’s sure got it out for the old man. I figure there’s some kind of history here, that’s the only explanation I can come up with.
MT: Exactly what is Andy going to do, Mark? Unless you plan on sicing Andy on the guards while you bust out Johnny, I think he’s gonna be kinda useless.
Phantom: Speaking of useless animals; what the hell is Devil going to do? It’s not like he’ll come back and tell you all about how the kids are spray painting the walls.
RwO: Oh man, I laughed.
SFx: Now Tiffany has no tail, what the heck is going on here? “Trash”? You know, you shouldn’t talk about your characters like that, Bob.
S-M: Why? This is horribly stupid, even by Spider-Man standards.
True Fable
November 30th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

#210 Anonymous – Yes, he’s been in the strip before many times. He was introduced a few years back and I THINK his name is Yo – Corporal Yo, or hell I’m not even sure of the rank. But yes, he was a part of the I’ve Got To Make Beetle Bailey Relevant To Today’s Society push, which doesn’t really mesh with the premise of sergeants who beat the living crap out of their subordinates just for the hell of it, their uniforms are 40 years out of date, or the any number of other things they wouldn’t dare do or have in the real Army. He and Gizmo were the first upgrades along with Sgt. Louise Lugg, since Lt. Flap appeared back in the what, ’70’s?

Okay, I’m not real down with the time frame or the names but then I think I’m doing good with a strip that sort of blends into the next one with the same general themes repeated over and over and over and over and over again.
Mibbitmaker
November 30th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

#208 (me): …I hear that Richard Mellon Scaife and George Soros are going to pool their resources to destroy Thorax. Stay tuned…

S-M: Do you ever play a different note, Peter Parker?

FW: This is the most pathetic he’s been since he essentially stole the strip from all the more interesting characters in the pre-serial days! (Sorry… I don’t have any school band allegiances. Now, if Harry were the art teacher, on the other hand…)

FOOB: Dammit, I knew it’d be too good to last! Dee wouldn’t know good writing if it was scrawled on the side of a prescription bottle.

NS: Easy for an elitist snob cartoonist who’s just another culturally prejudiced anti-TV hatemonger (you know, the type who’d call even “Arrested Development” garbage for idiots just because it was on TV) to say! Besides, if the victims of being unfairly deprived of something by the studios (the writers) won’t just fall over for the ones screwing them over, why should victims of the strike (the viewers) be compelled to? (I would say people shouldn’t download shows from network sites until a settlement, though, since that’s the issue anyways)

BBailey: Wow, the lieutenant’s coloring went from racially insulting yellow to incongruent caucasian in the space of 2 panels! Amazing!

Cranky: I’m not a big fan of euthanasia, but in his case, I’d make an exception.

MT: Never underestimate the keen legal accumen of… a………….. dog…..

Fred Bassett: If Ed Crankshaft were snarking this one, he’s probably say, “That mutt’s a regular James Dog!”
dimestore lipstick
November 30th, 2007 at 8:54 am [Reply]

smacky–Sort of Milford’s answer to Rocky Bleier, is he?
AtomicDog
November 30th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

BC – The “C” in that dictionary word should be changed to another “O”.
John C Fremont
November 30th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

MT – “Dad, call Hertz and rent me a vehicle with lots of headroom. I need at least 3 feet of headroom.”

“Sure thing son, but if this has anything to do with your old friend Johnny, you’d best watch out for cliffs.”

RMMD – Forgot to mention this yesterday, but Mrs. Dillon has June Morgan breasts. Not that this means anything to Rex, of course.

A3G – Omigosh, shoes!
AMC
November 30th, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

A3G OMIGOSH, LOOK! It’s other members of the Aryan Barbiehood!
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 30th, 2007 at 9:48 am [Reply]

11/30

SM: Somehow Peter has failed to act wimpy and craven enough. They’re setting the bar pretty high.

H&J: Any minute now General Halftrack will stomp over and say, “You two want to quiet the *%#$ down?”

SFx: “Hey you gays, is Max making a play for my girl? Excuse me a moment while I hit him with my tail.”

Agnes: Agnes gives in to full-blown psychosis.

Archie: “Glom” is not a sound humans make when they eat. Small mercy that we didn’t actually see the tentacles spring from Jughead’s mouth.

RMMD: IIRC, the headline said there were three escaped convicts in the area, so there must be another hiding somewhere. I’d guess they were just double counting the woman because of her rack, but this is Rex Morgan, so it’s standard.

Shoe: Good job guys. Robin Williams only beat you to it with “Elmer Fudd does Bruce Springsteen” by thirty years or so.

DtM: Don’t worry, Joey. Keep bringing that bear to school, and it’ll outlive you.
Gagott68
November 30th, 2007 at 9:49 am [Reply]

MT: Little did we know that Andy is a legal genius the likes we haven’t seen since Johnny Cochran (moment of silence…thank you).

S-M #195 True Fable: Not only doesn’t MJ care whether her weinie husband was hurt, she’s not a good enough actress to pretend that she does.
Dennis Jimenez
November 30th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

DtM – Not to worry – I see Joey a thirty-five year old accountant who’s still sleeping with his little beau-beau.

Foob – Ultimately, in your spawns eyes, you’ll never measure up to your ego, Mike. I’m picturing a lot of dysfunctional holidays in your future.

MT – Andy K. Nine – Attorney at Law.

MW – Yes, Jeff – Better hair grooming with snot will surely move you up in Mary’s hen pecking order.

RMMBLA – Thanks for pointing out the Stove’s location, Mrs. Dillion.

S4th – Next year’s letter – Paul Harvey sues the 4ths.

Archie – Between this and A3G, I’m getting pretty scared, just reading the comics.

Luann – Well, Gunt has been using them as hand lubricants.

JP – Perhaps he can help Sam with his fear of flying, Abbey.

Vaya Con Dinero
Gagott68
November 30th, 2007 at 9:57 am [Reply]

GT: Again, two teams with the same freaking uniforms. Except that New Thayer apparently doesn’t have numbers for their players. And now that the Great Gil Thorpe has brought his new, revamped Wing T offense to New Thayer what does he do? He starts throwing the ball to the one legged tight end. I thought the whole point of the T was to develop a running game with the athletic former wideouts to whom the QB couldn’t throw the ball moved into the backfield. Now all of a sudden the QB hits the tight end for a score? Oh, I’m sure that the Wing T’s punishing running game created an opportunity for a play action pass, the linebackers and saftey’s bit on the fake and Ritter broke wide open – BUT THAT LAME ASS QUARTERBACK STILL COULDN’T GET HIM THE BALL WITH A COMPASS AND A UPS TRUCK.
Satanic Mechanic
November 30th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

9cwl: Thorax is going to catch up on his blue berry sales? What time of year does he think it is?? I guess it doesn’t matter to “leader of the free world”. Whats next? Pumpkins in april?
rich
November 30th, 2007 at 10:08 am [Reply]

Phantom: All of a sudden, after a month of buildings being tagged right under his nose, the Phantom has miraculously deduced that a couple of kids on bicycles might be involved. What the heck? Did his Stripey Phantom Butt suddenly begin to tingle?
gkl
November 30th, 2007 at 10:14 am [Reply]

MW: I think Mary’s just gearing up to start rubbing Chester’s naughty bits in Doc. Cory’s face, which would be rude even if he weren’t allergic.

Garfield: I gotta say, I like this one. Not in a good way, but in an “admiring the audacity it took to write something that random” way. It’s a cartoon Monty Python would draw, if Monty Python drew cartoons and sucked.

TDIET: I was going to react in horror at the fact that the horoscope is front-page news (and may, in fact, be the entire paper) until I realized that in this day and age, the horoscope may well be as accurate as what’s there.

MT: Isn’t the vinyl siding supposed to go on the outside of the house? (Crap I know, but my brilliant Andy the Lawyer comment has been thoroughly presnarked, so I had to come up with a substitute on the fly.)
Allie Cat
November 30th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Hey – True Fable made the FOOB Blogs again. It’s a work of freakin’ art. It’s ten times better than Stone Season!

Even if you hate FOOB, this is a must read – mostly because of the phrase “grinds my shorts”.

Happy Friday!
Keg of Curd
November 30th, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

DtM: “Joey ’s gonna get ex-uh-cuted for naming his teddy bear Mohammad!”
Dennis Jimenez
November 30th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

MT – 12.1.2007:

Andy: Ruff!
Judge: Yes, Mr. Prosecutor, I must agree – a half a million dollar bond, is awfully rough, for a defendant with such strong ties to the Lost Forest – I release him on his own recognizance.
Andy: Bark!
Judge: Come to think of it, that’s right – surely the bark from the many Lost Forest trees would have blocked any shot the defendant could have made from his boat. Case Dismissed – With Prejudice!
commodorejohn
November 30th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

9CL – What does it say about me that I now actually want Thorax in office?

BB – …I don’t get it.

DT – Way to blow your cover there, Mr. Criminal Mastermind.

FOOB – Dee is apologizing for having to take care of the kids!? “I’m sorry, wonderful Michael, that I couldn’t be there for every moment of your glorious book signing, but I had to sacrifice my meaningless time to care for your heavenly offspring!” Could she be any MORE of a doormat!? (And DAMN, Mike, how’s about THANKING your wife for watching the kids while you bask in your moment!?)

FW – Ha ha! Senility is funny!

GT – Hey, more tether-football!

HTH – Should I be reading into this what I’m reading into this?

MT – “Johnny’s not the type that would shoot anyone…I’m sure he was just bring that gun along as a conversation piece!” (Potato: “That’s what I believe happened!”)

MW – What’s funnier here: Mary’s sudden absurd infatuation with the dog, or Jeff’s “shucks, women, whatya gonna do?” look?

Popeye – Olive Oyl is willing to damn humanity to avenge herself. Why am I not surprised?

SFx – Hmm, I guess Vicki Fox is a teacher. Whaddya know.

SM – Or, you know, he might shrug it off as another bad celebrity marriage. Does Occam’s Razor exist in the Marvel Universe!?
Bunnë
November 30th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Spider Brick, if you think Poppinjay’s comment was offensive, check out the news. Reality is sometimes more offensive than we could make up.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 30th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

#235 commodorejohn,
If what you read into “Hagar” is that he’s still never found Helga’s happy button, then yeah that’s a fair reading. Not sure it’s the one Chris Browne was going for.
Joe
November 30th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

FOOB: Damn, I saw the foob-talk letter where someone suggested killing off April. I have a better idea………kill off Pastythony and both of St. Michael’s horrid brats instead. Then Dee finds out she can’t have any more kids……….HOORAY!!!! NO MORE ST. MICHAEL PATTERSPAWN!!!!!!!

Hey, I can dream, can’t I?
Dingo
November 30th, 2007 at 10:51 am [Reply]

The Chicago Tribune ran an old Get Fuzzy today because the November 29 panels were deemed “in bad taste.”
Joe
November 30th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

FOOB: I just posted this to the foob-log:

“I saw the letter yesterday about the person wanting to kill off April.

I have a better idea…….kill off Anthony instead! Have Howard Bunt escape from prison and run Blandthony’s car off a cliff into Lake Ontario or something. That would make my whole year!”

I’d say it has a one-chance-in-three of getting published………hey…..published……….I’d be PUBLISHED……….does that mean I can have some sort of signing session and I’ll recieve my Nobel Laurate?
Keg of Curd
November 30th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

I deem the November 29th panels of Get Fuzzy hilarious.
Joe
November 30th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

#239 Dingo: I just reviewed the 11/29 Get Fuzzy.

What the hell is wrong with it?!
The Chicago Tribune sucks donkey balls.
bats :[
November 30th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

188. Frank Parsnip re MW: after a sumptuous dinner at the Bum Boat (that name just exudes an aura of classiness and haute cuisine), Mary and Jeff go over to “his place”. To sit quietly. For several hours.
And yes, it was good for them.
Professor Fate
November 30th, 2007 at 11:07 am [Reply]

GT : huh? Football teams have NUMBERS on their uniform fronts – if for no other reason the officals need to be able to say “Holding number 78″. I am now sure this strip is drawn by Martians. The one legged tight end going to the yard only makes the pain worse. While it’s too early for Brandy it does look like my friday night is set.

FOOB: Then get a day job jack. that way you’ll be sure of a regular income while you churn out another load of junk. As a Plus Dena will be able to have that affair with Weed she’s been thinking about all these years.
AhClem
November 30th, 2007 at 11:14 am [Reply]

Good News: I went to FOOB’s Coffee Talk to read True Fable’s excellent rant.

Bad News: I went to FOOB’s Coffee Talk.

Man, the things we put ourselves through for good snark!
bats :[
November 30th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

True Fable: holy guacamole! If that letter to LJ in Coffee Stalk doesn’t merit a case of coffee mugs, there is no justice. I’m stunned that they printed the entire thing (although I’m a little surprised that there is no “Face it, Lynnie bitch, you’ve lost — as though you thought you ever had — the Fable.”), but honest-to-pete, if the other devotees (“I had a baby, just like Elly! I’m a mom, too!”) can occasionally see the other side of the loonie, you’ve done reality a good service.
commodorejohn
November 30th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

#237 Artist Formerly Known As Ben – Yeah, that’s what I was getting at. Good to know it’s not just me.

#240 Joe – They’ll never take the bait, but if by some the-stars-are-aligned miracle you do get that printed, you will be the new Patron Saint of Snark.

Also, I sent my FOOB comment to CS – let’s see if they print that one.
Deena in OR
November 30th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

#239-Oh, come on! I read it out loud to my 15 year old daughter when I got it off the Chron last night.

Of course, this is the kid..never mind…it’s a long, off topic story that ends up with a member of the clergy making himself look very, very foolish.
commodorejohn
November 30th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

Also, holy CRAP, Fable, you just WIN.
Gabe
November 30th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Joe: I guess they thought the kiddies would figure out that Satchel almost said “shitty” and would giggle, and lord knows we can’t have that.
Calico
November 30th, 2007 at 11:32 am [Reply]

MT – Now I think most of you Mudges know I absolutely adore animals, but HOW THE HELL is Andy going to help? Did he secretly earn a law degree while Mark was dealing with other problems? Is he going to bite someone’s butt? Sniff out the killer and his gun?

MW – I just KNEW she was going to try and get the dog into The Bum Boat.
Mary, you’re wonderful in your Own Special Biddy Way, but this ain’t Paris.
migellito
November 30th, 2007 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – confirmed: ‘the bum boat’ is not only a popular restaurant, but also a euphemism for Mary’s wrinkled cornhole.
Gabe
November 30th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

210 Anon: That’s Corporal Yo, he’s been around since the early 90s.
Mibbitmaker
November 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am [Reply]

#220 (me): Did I just promote Cpl. Yo to Lt. Yo? Whadda Yo-Yo!

A3G: “…Did I go too far with the Albert Pinkham Ryder exhibit, LuAnn?”

MW:
3rd (next) panel: Mary and Jeff laugh. Canned audience applause follows.
4th Panel: Title: OH, THAT MARY!
5th Panel: Credits*:

Mary Worth: Janice Picolo
Dr. Jeff: Albert Houlden, Jr.
Jeff’s son: Potrzebie Axolotl
Dog: Fido
Chinbeard: Alphonse Harvey-Montooth
Toby: Helena Doodelworst
Aldo’s ghost: Robert Keeshan
Rita: Soused McDrunki
Broken Swan: Hanz Feetz
“Allergic is Your Love” used with permission of the Buxworth Estate
Performed by Gail Martin
Wardrobe by Mibbitz of Hollywood
Filmed in Los Angeles at Moy Gosh Studios

This has been a DopeySoap Production
(c) 1962, ABCDEFG Networks

6th Panel: Commercial…

*(Made-up names are fun ;o) )
Keg of Curd
November 30th, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

Herb and Jamaal introduces an interesting euphemism today.
Jym Gone Wild
November 30th, 2007 at 11:59 am [Reply]

=v= Bad Reporter: Remember Gulls Gone Wild? There’s a shout-out in today’s Bad Reporter, only it’s topical and sorta funny. Oh Ziggy, will you ever win?
The Divine O’F
November 30th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Nil Zed:
Please get in touch with me at thedivineof AT gmail DOT com. Thanks ever so.
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

MT: The whole Malotte-Malone affair will play out quite predictably. Malotte will be “hanged” for the “murder” of Malone, allowing them to be brought into the special ops unit commanded by Doughboy Steve (himself considered dead by his loved ones from a convenient “Model-T accident”). They’ll be outfitted with the latest in weaponry that 1916 has to offer — bolt-action Enfields, Webley service revolvers, potato-masher grenades, and the like. They’ll have with them in the field the latest in portable communications technology — a horse-drawn Marconi device that relies upon the so-called “radio-wave” principle. The Kaiser shall surely rue the day he chose to favour one set of inbred horsey-looking cousins over another set of inbred horsey-looking cousins, that’s for sure!

Someday, if they survive their adventures, Malotte, Malone and Doughboy Steve will return home and be reunited with their loved ones. But for now, it’s going to be the three of them fighting together for King and Country!
Niall
November 30th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Friday snarkage

Curtis should also know that kids can’t handle sarcasm well, and it’s usually on way too thick.

I’m not sure Dennis has any MenacePoints today, plus or minus. I’m more curious about Gina’s apparent blush at seeing Joey cuddle his teddy bear. Maternal instinct? It’s really bizarre.

So what’s with the weird shading around the speech balloons in Hagar?? Does it indicate an emotion? Dust clouds? Insects trying to eat their words? What? It’s visually very distracting. (Note that there’s no joke to counter-distract us.)

…okay, I actually chuckled at H&L. The kid makes a perfectly normal and amusing request. I’ve been in the same position, and … yeah. They’re bound to get a funny one once in a while, right?

Oh no, Mark Trail, Johnny won’t worry at all being in prison accused of murder. And is Mark thinking that Andy can plead on behalf of the accused or something? Or is he the only animal shown in this strip who can’t talk? Also, evidently Mark is always ready to move at a moment’s notice, bags always packed.

Mary Worth, don’t quit your day job. Wait, you have no day job, except maybe meddling. And we’d love you to quit that… allright! Mary, start going on the Yuk Yuk circuit! Also, Chester is suddenly half his size for no reason.

Okay. That is IT. Once I’m home tonight, I’m giving the Phantom my photoshop treatment.

Golden Opportunities Lost: in Popeye, the Thung is hit and looks exactly like what an object would go if they had the sound effect “THUNNNNNNNG!”. But there’s no such sound effect. Sadcat is Sad.

RM’s Niki seems more fascinated by the sweaterpuppies than worried about any ol’ gun.

So. We have another guess as to Slylock’s “girlfriend” (a word to use with parcimony lest Cassandra lurks around – stylishly, of course), seeing she’s a schoolteacher. How sad is it that I don’t even remember her name? And oh! Max! You are courting with disaster, flirting with your boss’ lady literally behind his back! …okay, actually more to his side, but in a 2D world, he’d be behind his back! And max, think what Cassandra will think of you if you flirt with anyone else than you. Jamus can probably tell you what fate awaits you. Meanwhile, the principal seems to have eyes right on her too. What does she have that Cassandra doesn’t?

Peter Parker is paranoid. A paranoid arachnoid! Change your name to Marvin!

TDIET is clearly nor written by a CCer. It’s silly again. And makes little sense, unless you’re one to actually believe the self-defeating vague phrases used in mass-market horoscopes.

Archie looks as disgusted as I am by that dripping “GLOM!” sound effect appearing out of nowhere. I’d high-tail it out of there.

DT’s hostage-taker, Mr. Hennessy Jr, has at least some class – look at his extended pinky as he names his father. Paying respect, how nice to see in a son.

My first thought at Garfield was: “And you’ll never get la’d too”, but that conjured up wrong mental images. Aside from that, though it’s not marginally funnier, I think we can give the Davis Team some kudos for finally varying the joke attempts more. It feels more old-school Garfield than usual.

GT: what? WHAT?? My world is crumbling! The opposing team has dark helmets and are easily distinguishable!! And we bloody FINALLY see the iron-legged wonder leap into action! Maybe we’ll finally be DONE with this stupid arc! And why am I caring so much! Augh!

PBS has an earworm. Augh again.

I so, so, SO regret clicking on Shoe today. Everyone else: don’t let my sacrifice be in vain – avoid! Avoid!
Frank Parsnip
November 30th, 2007 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

243 Bats and 252 Miguellito: I can’t help wondering if somehow “eating out at the Bum Boat” is just some horrible euphemism for anal rimming, real or imagined. In Dr. Jeff and Mary’s case, it probably is the latter — the two of them sitting on their hands silently in the dark, both imagining each other’s slathering tongues but not doing a thing about it until Dr. Jeff starts to snore and Mary lets herself out. Sure they can think about it, but the reality would involve several large boils, one unhealed bedsore, one slight prolapse, and a cluster of hemorroids that tend to impart a heavy “iron” taste to any forays.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Regarding BB: You’re right, True Fable, et al, Yo is a Corporal. I’m not up on Army ranks (although I should be, as Mr. Girl Reporter is a reservist), but I think that Corporal isn’t “enlisted”, it’s “officer”. Sargeant is enlisted. So why is Yo in the enlisted club in the first place? I think there are rules about fraternization (and no, I don’t think that word always means sex, although it can), so that the enlisted aren’t witness to their officers getting blotto, and vise versa.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Regarding MT: Maybe Andy is one of those breeds that generates lots of jowl-snot. So Mark can threaten the Mountie that Andy will shake his jowls at the Mountie’s dry-clean-only jacket unless he frees Malotte.

And twice in one day, I’m spending too much time questioning the logical underpinnings of comic strips. Woudn’t Canada quarantine a dog for some set amount of time before it is allowed into the country?
Niall
November 30th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

..I just saw Rhymes with Orange, and as it happens, I actually have that song on my hard drive. (Long story) It’s only funny if you know the song (otherwise it’d kinda tawdry and icky) – but if you do, it’s rather kinda funny.
bergamot
November 30th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

235, re FOOB: I, too, can’t figure out why on earth anyone would apologize from taking bored, tired kids home from a book-signing. It’s just not that fascinating watching daddy write his name over and over. I dream of a day on which Dee will escape the bonds of her narrator, break the fourth wall, and start cursing LJ for making her say such idiotic things.

RMMD: Is it just me, or does Niki look as if he’s about to whine in panel one? Mrs. Dillon delivers a one-two punch, though, that makes it clear she is not to be messed with: she shifts into fast-talking dame speech and she reveals a couple of breasts that could put your eye out.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Truman Fable – Stong kudos on the Koffee Talk rant. It is just appalling to me that Mike is portrayed as reeling from accolade to accolade while Deanna works full time and watches the kids fulltime. She APOLOGIZES for having to pay attention to the kids rather than paying continued homage to St. Mikey at the book signing. Then instead of THANKING HER he narcissistically muses on how his kids will perceive him based on how the book fares commercially. Mikey is the epitome of what I hate. He is going to cry to the heavens about unfairness when Deanna leaves him and the kids hate him.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

9CL – I read this blog before I decide whether or not to read 9CL. If there is mention of an appearance by Thorax I move on.
Gabe
November 30th, 2007 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

Girl Reporter: Corporal is E4, enlisted. Particularly I believe its specifically infantry as other E4s in the Army are specialists (but I’m Navy, I could be wrong). You’re probably confusing it with Colonel, which is officer.
SmartPeopleOnIce
November 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Re: #15; #74; #107; #108; #120 et al.

Dear Sirs and/or Madams.

Many folks do not realize that it is possible to remove MF from the newspaper using items found around the house such as scissors or fire. We recommend averting your eyes while doing so, lest you be accidentally exposed to the contents of the strip. Better yet, you may pay someone who is visually-impaired or illiterate to prepare your newspaper for you in this fashion. Better safe than sorry, as we say.

If you must access MF on-line, be sure to click “ironically” on the link, indicating to the hosting web site that you are only viewing MF as one might be drawn to a car crash or a train wreck. They should be made aware that any business found advertising in the vicinity of an MF panel will be boycotted unto death.

In short, we beg you: please refrain from reading MF. It only encourages BT.

Thank you.

This has been a public service announcement (with guitar!)
SecretMargo
November 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

FW — I’m sorry, but this sequence makes no sense, since he was stricken with poetic irony-induced deafness and retired before the jump! Jeez, Batiuk, way to dissuade readers’ fears that this whole thing was contrived to get Summer that much closer to the age of consent. Ahh, well. Suit yourself, creepy.
Calico
November 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

#253 – Funny how his skin changes from Asian-tone to Caucasian – maybe it’s the light from the new Hi-def set in panel two?
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

Sans Sense says: Mikey is the epitome of what I hate.

I remember reading in Vanity Fair some years back that one of the reasons the Crawford/Gere marriage broke up was because she read the word epitome aloud as “ep-i-tohm” and then argued with him that “epit-oh-mee” was a whole other word, although it meant the same thing.
Calico
November 30th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

#258 – I wonder if somehow the new Mark Trail arc could be a metaphor for the current FOOB.

OK, I better go take my meds now.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

Gabe says: Girl Reporter: Corporal is E4, enlisted. Particularly I believe its specifically infantry as other E4s in the Army are specialists (but I’m Navy, I could be wrong). You’re probably confusing it with Colonel, which is officer.

Huh. How about that. More information about military rank was found on the internet! I didn’t realize that Sargeant outranked Corporal. I learned something today. Thanks, Gabe.

http://www.easternct.edu/personal/faculty/pocock/ranks.htm

That clears up one of the two points of comics’ logic I had a problem with this morning.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

#271 Girl Reporter -

I’m sorry but that’s grounds.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

#271 Girl Reporter -

Other grounds:

1) When your mate says “Star Track” Instead of Star Trek.

2) Any use of the term “Happy Camper”.

3) Use of the term “gotta jet”.

4) Use of the term “you go (insert noun)”.

5) Any third person reference to their own genitalia.

6) Any third person reference to themselves (ie. Bob Dole hates spincoal).

I could go on…
Spunky N. Tadpole
November 30th, 2007 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

MF – Pointless even by the sets-a-new-low-in-the-pointlessness-sweepstakes standards of Mallard Fillmore. Is “Conservative Producer Joel Surnow” meant to be flattered, somehow, by having this godawful caricature published in a national comic strip? And seriously, what is it with Bruce Tinsley and eyes? Joel Surnow’s eyes are almost as scrunched-together as Mallard Fillmore’s!
DAS
November 30th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

she read the word epitome aloud as “ep-i-tohm” and then argued with him that “epit-oh-mee” was a whole other word, although it meant the same thing. – Girl Reporter

I used to think the same thing when I was a young kid. Of course, in those days (as if I have any right to talk like that … I’m still a young-’un … and here I’m writing as if when I was a kid, it was still the fashion to wear onions on your belt) I also thought that Chopin and “Showpan” where two different composers.
sudiegirl
November 30th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Why does the last panel of “Mark Trail” look like one of horses is talking?

*sigh*
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

MT: Unless Andy has a cask of brandy and a skeleton key on that collar, he ain’t gonna be much use to Johnny Ma-Frenchy.
Perky Bird
November 30th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

#255 Keg of Curd–

Oh merciful heavens! Herb and Jamal are “bum boating”! Is the short one cursing because he always has to play the “dock” and never gets to “steer the boat into port”?

Seriously, is this guy completely incapable of drawing anything other than tight close-ups that make the most innocent activity look like they’re humping one another?
bats :[
November 30th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

262. Girl Reporter: yeah, I’ve met St. Bernards, and their one distinguishing feature is drool, and a lot of it. I’m leaning toward a filled drool-bucket threat, as it the Fists o’ Justice aren’t intimidating enough!
(“Eet eez zhe dawg weeth zhe drool! Ah em say-ved!”)
Spunky N. Tadpole
November 30th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

MT – #101 – I think the mystery of why the Trail Family Compound is cited as being “At Lost Forest” (great grammar, Jack!) when it is sitting out in the open is an easy one to solve: their buildings used to be in the middle of the Lost Forest, until they sold off the timbering rights to the Lost Lumber Company, who clear-cut the place and turned it into the Lost Meadow. After all, Mark’s job as nature writer and part-time vigilante can’t pay all that much: the extra moolah must have been appreciated.

DT – Why does it look like the SWAT officer in the last panel is holding a gun to his own head?
“Come out with your hands in sight, or I’ll open fire – on myself!!” ?

MW – And as if we need any more evidence that Mary is, underneath it all, a vicious old bitch – the carefully-drawn look of glee on her bitchy old face as she shoves Chester at allergic Dr. Jeff says it all….

Archie – I’m with Archie: that “GLOM” – especially as rendered in drippy white capitals – is WAY disturbing. Even by Jughead standards.
Lindsey
November 30th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

What the heck is wrong with Mary Worth, anyway? Leave the dang dog at home, sheesh. Although this might be Jeff’s one chance to get laid with her, she does seem interested in including the dog. Which is disturbing.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

#283. Lindsey -

Disturbing to you maybe but a regular stage feature at the Bum Boat. No wonder we never get to peek inside…
Spotted HØrse
November 30th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

#268 SmartPeopleOnIce:

In short, we beg you: please refrain from reading MF. It only encourages BT.

I’m sure this is the wisest of advice… but BT? Blunt trauma? You’re right, that’s exactly what it is: some sort of self-inflicted head injury that induces brain damage.

Oh, wait… BT = Bruce Tinsley!! Oh, hell, I wouldn’t want to encourage that asshat!
gh
November 30th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Today’s I?GT explained –

In the looking-glass world that is Gil Thorp, there is an inverse relationship between one’s injury/disability and one’s athletic prowess. The more severe the injury, the greater the ability to perform. Hence, the tight end who, yesterday, twisted his ankle is replaced by the one-legged Bill Ritter who outruns the defense and catches a pass for a touchdown. Tomorrow, the team quadriplegic will kick the extra point.
True Fable
November 30th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

Thank y’all! Writing that letter was downright cathartic, like a timely and thorough enema to purge a shitstorm of frustration. Somewhere deep in my brain pan a breaker tripped and I posted a comment in the Foobiverse. The next thing I knew I was hitting “submit” in Coffee Squawk. Lynn must like being scolded as well as praised. Hmmm, interesting.

I wish I had included commodorejohn and Sans Sense’s excellent point about Dee the Doormat, but that might serve better in a separate letter anyway.

I may need to borrow Galactic Emperor Chennux’s Crisper55 again, who knows how the She-Devil of Saskatchewan will retaliate.
Spotted HØrse
November 30th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Rose: “WATCH OUT FOR THAT TWIG!”
I’ve learned that I risk shattering my knees, hips and pelvis every time a pernicious twig clutters my sidewalk approach. As a bonus, Don Imus guest stars as the angel in panel 3.
AMC
November 30th, 2007 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

275 – Not that Sans Sense is bitter or anything….

:-)
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

#284. AMC –

I passed bitter on the highway of life about 17 exits ago…
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

#284. AMC -

As an added bonus for you I will add people that use the word itch instead of scratch, as in “could you please itch my back?” Aaargghh! Total grounds.
Spotted HØrse
November 30th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

#291 Sans Sense: How about “amblee-yance” instead of “ambulance”? Heh!
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

People who say “in lieu of” when they mean “in light of”.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

People who say “mute” point instead of “moot” point.
Dennis Jimenez
November 30th, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

Irregardless. Disirregardless!
Darkefang
November 30th, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

A3G: If there’s a corner, it isn’t really a studio, now is it?

Phantom: This is classic Phantom. He sics his attack wolf on two little children while he peeps into some high-rise.

Shoe: Nice job, Shoe. You just stole a joke told by every hack 1980s comic. Shouldn’t you be standing in front of a fake brick wall while you write that?

S-M: Despite obvious and overwhelming evidence, nobody else has managed to figure out that Peter is Spider-Man. How would this Hitler-haircutted moron possibly manage to deduce his secret identity from the fact that Mary Jane wasn’t scared of him hurting her husband? From the looks of things, I wouldn’t be worried about Peter’s safety either. He’s safely cringing behind a dumpster, leaving his celebrity wife behind to deal with some unhinged nutjob who accosted them in an alley.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

“I went” or “I’m all” instead of “I said”. Grounds! All of ‘em!
Rigatoni
November 30th, 2007 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

You know, for years I have thought that the animals in Mark Trail could talk. Looking at the speech bubble, it seems like this is the case.

Or perhaps this is some sort of “Manimal” episode. One where Mark Trail transfigures into a horse and rides to the rescue. If so, who is supposed to be the mother horse?
HB Glord
November 30th, 2007 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

I recently told this story to someone else, but it seems relevant to the “this thread is two days old” tangent currently transpiring.

Years back, i was at a party where some blowhard was claiming that while many words are mispronounced by dropping a syllable (true enough), there are no words in the English language that people mispronounce by adding a syllable.

I replied, “Whoever told you that was probably being mischievious.”
srah
November 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

And all people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs!
Hank
November 30th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

RE: FW. I think the time shift only shifted some events and, as a result, the band director’s retirement is more recent that we thought.
Dennis Jimenez
November 30th, 2007 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.
Donald Rumsfeld
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

I plead guilty to saying mis-chee-vee-ous well into my 20s. Until a friend laughed because she thought I was making a joke, and froze when she saw by my face that I didn’t know why she was laughing.

So, maybe I should climb down off my high horse before it starts telling tales.
Little Guy
November 30th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

#275:

7) When your mate refers to their own genitalia, as “Bob Dole”, and thinks of foreplay as yelling, “you go, Happy Camper”
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

I’ve pronounced lambaste as “lamb-bayst”…
Little Guy
November 30th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

TDiET: “….between the sheets!”
gh
November 30th, 2007 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

Per grounds:

I mentioned this a couple months ago, but if I hear “ofTen” one more time, someone’s going to get slapped.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

#304 Little Guy -

That’s a trifecta, no jury would convict…
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 30th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

Probably more than a few people are under the impression that there are two totally different cities in southern California, one of which is called “La Jolla” that they know from reading it written, and the other of which is called “La Hoya” that they know from hearing it spoken.
Allie Cat
November 30th, 2007 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

This one drives me nuts: ATM Machine.

I also can’t stand:

- conversate (rather than converse)
- ath-a-lete (drop that middle syllable, dammit!)

Somewhat tangentially, I can’t stand people in the service industry using the phrase “no problem”.

If your job is to provide service, and someone asks you to do something in the scope of their job function, then fulfilling that function should not be seen as a “problem” that you have magnamimously overcome.

Years ago, my mother taught me to say either, “I would be happy to” or “It’s my pleasure”.

Although sometimes, what I really want to say to clients is, “It’s my paycheck.”

Still, I noticed the kid at the drive through at Wendy’s the other day with a “No Problem” button on his shirt. It really made my bees grind!

I fully recognize that this makes me sound like a nut, but it bugs me.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Actually, “as stiff as Bob Dole’s right arm” would make a pretty good euphemism.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

No, I’m not proud.
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

Alls I’m sayin’ is that I’d be a happy camper if my Bob Dole was ofTen mis-chee-vee-ous but more ofTen I just watch Star Track. Irregardless it’s a mute point so in lieu of that I gotta jet!
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

Now I have to divorce myself.
Allie Cat
November 30th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

#309 – Reminds me of of the punchline of an old joke:

When will you be moving to La Jolla?

Oh, in Hune or Huly.
LTBF
November 30th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

Fable-Unpon further inspection, that is YO. I didn’t notice his squiny eyes before. (Sorry for the un-pc comment about his eyes). He was just missing his corporal insignia and I’ve never seen any personality quirks from him before that only he would do. (That was me with the original comment…not sure why it said Anonymous).

Was it my imagination, or are Meredith’s bed and Robin’s crib in the same room?
Miz Becki
November 30th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Grounds:

Supposably ? Supposedly

“like” used at least 3X in the course of a sentence. I can’t divorce my teenager, naturally, but I might see if I can’t find an electric collar that would give him a mild to moderate zap each time he uses “like” in any context other than “be fond of” or “comparable to.”
Miz Becki
November 30th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

Grounds:

1. Use of the invented word “supposably” rather than “supposedly.”

2. “Like” used at least 3X in the course of a sentence. I can’t divorce my teenager, naturally, but I might see if I can’t find an electric collar that would give him a mild to moderate zap each time he uses “like” in any context other than “be fond of” or “comparable to.”
Miz Becki
November 30th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

Sorry for double post. It didn’t like my inclusion of the symbol… And then I reworded the whole thing.
benro
November 30th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

#309 – No shit?? What a revelation. I’m sure a plugger strip could be derived from that fact somehow..
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

319. Miz Becki -

No worries, it’s a doggy dog world. (Yes, I actually heard that).
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

I’ll tie this all back to Josh. The Mudge community needs to start a strip called, “They’ll Say It Every Time”. TSEIT
Sans Sense
November 30th, 2007 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

TSIET – sheesh…
NightRaven
November 30th, 2007 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I don’t understand what the editors deemed wrong with yesterdays GF either.
The “shitty” car was todays strip, the 29′th included a “fat” joke, could it be that they thought it was offensive to obese people? (In that case, they can’t print Garfield, ever.)
Oh, and further information on Beetles cast of dubious officers can be found here;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beetle_Bailey#Cast
(The Wikipedia article mentions the Buxley Wednesday phenomenon)
It’s true that Corp. Yo appeared in 1990,
Lt. Flapp in 1970, Louise Lugg in ‘86 and Gizmo in 2002.
Niall
November 30th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

206. Moss Moses: that is hilarious! I hadn’t even noticed the bad grammar in Mark Trail…

228. Gagott68: you speak as if you understood Gil Thorp. You scare me.

299. HB Glord: You, sir, are my hero. Spoken as someone who thought it was “-vious” for years until I saw it spelled differently… and on to the dictionary I went! But then, I’m weird that way. I usually see it as “Mischevious” though. (The link with mischief must have eluded my brain all those years. Then again, for a short while it was visually reinforced…)

305. Sans Sense: …according to my Concise Oxford, “Lambaste” is pronounced “lamb-bayste”, and it’s “lambast” (accepted varying spelling) which is pronounced “lam-bast”.

307. gh: both “offen” and “ofTen” are acceptable pronunciations. They can vary by area, but that T is not there just for show. :)

The rest, however, are irritating to me as well…
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

TSIET:

Heckie gets all high ‘n’ myyy-teee about typos and abuses of Propah English…

then,

BAM he hits Post instead of Preview just once!
True Fable
November 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#316 LTBF – One can only assume that the Patterspawn are in the same room again in order to spare Michael the trouble of having to check in on them separately. He can glance through one doorway, mentally check off “care about children” and move on down the hallway to his room with the full length mirror without missing a beat.
dreadedcandiru2
November 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Funky ReachingWAYtoomuchbean: Okay, I can buy Dinkle (who’s being turned into Mike Patterson in a fancy uniform) not knowing about raking leaves, but ignoring a TREE??? Les would call shenanigans on that while he was being hauled of of the girl’s washroom.
Mountain Mama
November 30th, 2007 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

#312–Sans, when you find out how to divorce yourself, let me know, OK? I’ve been wanting to dump me for years. I’m fat, sleep too much, and I hold me back.

And…..Where, oh where, is our beloved Wille? Wille???? Come back, Wille!!!!
Bootsy
November 30th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Niall, you said

307. gh: both “offen” and “ofTen” are acceptable pronunciations. They can vary by area, but that T is not there just for show. :)

I kid because I love.

Yes it is. Often with the T pronounced may be common usage but not acceptable usage. Do you also pronopunce the T in soften?

I heart Truman Fable! But you better have the ninja goats on high alert after that.

Hey! Happy last day of hurricane season everybody! When I turned in my emergecny phone at work today I breathed a sigh of relief.
Gabe
November 30th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

324 NightRaven: The article mentions it because I put it in there. :D
Bootsy
November 30th, 2007 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Christ, even when I preview I screw up!
Perky Bird
November 30th, 2007 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

#327 True Fable, #316 LTBF–

Not only are they in the same room, but isn’t widdle Wobin old enough for a toddler bed, at least, instead of a crib? I think Dee would throw her back out hauling that kid’s poopy butt over the crib rail.
gh
November 30th, 2007 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

#325 Niall –

As the wife of a famous politician once said: I will deny you, Missy! It should be pronounced like it is in the old country [Indiana]: offen. That’s the only proper way to pronopunce it, as Bootsy notes. It’s the correct pronounciation.
True Fable
November 30th, 2007 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

#333 Perky Bird – But that is what Pack Horse Dee is for, to do all the menial labor so the Delicate Genius won’t have to.

It took months of different people pointing out that at three years of age, Robin is damn well old enough to speak in short sentences and be potty trained, before Lynn finally got around to letting him utter more than “Waaa!” and “Mmmm.” Then he came off as Small Budding Prodigy, able to reason in terms far beyond his years. It’s feast or famine with her; prime rib or poo pies.
AhClem
November 30th, 2007 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Sans Sense, et al -
My “favorite” linguistic peeve is confusing lend and borrow, as in “Can you borrow me a couple of dollars until tomorrow?” (Tangentially, when somebody asks me if they can borrow a Kleenex, I usually say, “No, but you can have one. I really don’t want it back.”)

In print, it’s spelling our national rail passenger system as “Amtrack.” There is no “C” in Amtrak!
LTBF
November 30th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Harry has been retired as band director for over 10 years. He was named “Director of Music” right before Lisa croaked, but that was just another name for “Do nothing job we give beloved old guy until he’s fully vested in state retirement system”.
Steppy
November 30th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Stop with the pronunciation complaints or I’ll feed you to a jagwire.
HB Glord
November 30th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

Also, my own father would compliment a particularly sumptuous repast by saying, for example, “This chicken eats good!” (Er … not anymore, Dad.)

Reminds me of the old Chunky Soup slogan: “the soup that eats like a meal,” which i would parody as “the soup that eats like a pig” (and then doesn’t even excuse itself when it leaves the table).
Niall
November 30th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

gh: remember that I’m Canadian. I think Offen is US and Often is British – so to us, both are acceptable. :) :)

(We get away with a ton of stuff with this rule…)
bergamot
November 30th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Fable, I just stopped over at Coffee Talk. It’s been said before, but you rock. Scrolling down through the letters, I came across one from earlier in November that has to be a send-up: “Lynn, you continue to break new ground, new air, new water.”

Hee hee hee! Anybody want to claim this one?
Spunky N. Tadpole
November 30th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

#342 – How about “new wind”, as well?
SmartPeopleOnIce
November 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Grounds:

Anyone who thinks Mr. Pibb is the same thing as Dr. Pepper.

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn’t even get his degree.

(Ok, I stole that from Mitch Hedberg. However, I am of the firm opinion that the world would be a different place if more people were familiar with the comedic stylings of Mitch Hedberg).
Uncle Lumpy
November 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

#337 LTBF –

Dinkle is based on a friend of Batiuk’s. The promotion was only the kickoff for full-on canonization: watch for death-with-a-smile, “that heavenly band” a-playin, and blah, blah, blah.

Tom Batiuk: “Comics don’t have to be funny — they can also be a descent into absolute solipsism.”
gh
November 30th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

#340 Niall –

Funny, you don’t look Canadian. I stand correcked. Can you also pronopunce it “aw-fawn” when you’re in Quebec? Because that would be enough to make me move there.
zenvelo
November 30th, 2007 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

#269, #301, #337

I’m confused too. Harry’s supposedly been retired and deaf for ten years,but still hasn’t been around to see the leaves fall? Maybe it is Alzheimers, but how come he seems to be able to hear again? or maybe he’s been in a coma….
cheech wizard
November 30th, 2007 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

re: peeves about language: as an editor, one of my biggest is the overuse of the suffix “age,” such as signage, sewerage, etc. Is there any use of “signage” that is not equally well covered by “sign”? And who changed the sewers to sewerage, or the sewer department to the department of sewerage?

You don’t hear ministers asking Jesus to “forgive us our sinage,” now, do you? Or the following song:

“Signage, signage, everywhere a signage,
Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mindage.”

It’s all a crockage of shittage.
Girl Reporter
November 30th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

I guess they’ve cured deafness in the future. Ten years after Harry Dinkle developed career ending hearing loss, he doesn’t even have selective hearing loss and can hear his wife just fine when she asks him to do yardwork.

I guess passive-agressive learned helplessness is still around, ‘though, since he has to be walked through each step of the job by his wife.
gh
November 30th, 2007 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

#347 cheech wizard –

In my younger days, when someone was done wrong I would claim there were “grounds for sue-age.”
AMC
November 30th, 2007 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

People, people. For all intensive purposes there’s nothing we can do about the way folks talk.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
November 30th, 2007 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

#350 AMC — Yeah. Me and my friends get aggravated by some of this stuff to, and we wish people would of learned the language better, but people are going to say whatever comes natural to them.
dale
November 30th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

347 – cheech wizard
Sewerage is the system of pipes through which sewage flows. Seldom see “sewerage” used, but it is a separate word.
SmartPeopleOnIce
December 1st, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Me fail English? That’s unpossible!
Victor Von
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail has featured talking animals– and talking animal butts– for years. That final panel is so baffling that it deserves special mention, though. How could that be an accident? It’s like accidentally drawing a face with 3 noses!

So, I’m assuming Mark has perfected his Secret Horse Phone.

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