The Comics Curmudgeon

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Margo Magee: Often imitated, never duplicated

Apartment 3-G, 1/3/08

The submissive dialog in panel one of this strip seems to indicate that Eric has at last perfected his greatest creation: the Margo-bot 4000, an automaton with all of the external characteristics of a Margo but none of the sass or lip. Why one would want a Margo with no sass or lip is, of course, a puzzle, which may explain why the sexy cyberfemale is already starting in with the backtalk by panel three; surely the Margo-bot would be programmed to at least simulate the real thing’s essential hostility. Presumably the Margo-bot, imbued with these fundamentally conflicting impulses, will, like 2001: A Space Odyssey’s HAL, eventually go on a killing rampage, probably joined in the bloodbath by the actual Margo.

Crankshaft, 1/3/08

You know, Crankshaft often consists of this sort of sub-cute Family Circus-style punnery. But unlike the grinning morons of the Family Circus, the Crankshafters usually look angry or upset as they deliver their little verbal jests, today’s panel three being a prime example. “Just as annoying as the Family Circus, but so much grimmer”: That was the Crankshaft elevator pitch right there. I can’t deny that I too would have given it the green light.

Pluggers, 1/3/08

There are two little words I find confusing in today’s Pluggers, and they are “-in” and “-law”. Why wouldn’t this have worked just as well with the dog-man’s son (or daughter, for that matter) being the newly minted pentuagenarian? Is the joke perhaps that the son-in-law is significantly older than the daughter? Are you a plugger if you married off your 15-year-old daughter to one of your peers to consolidate both families’ land holdings?

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 02:05 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Crankshaft, Pluggers.

256 responses to “Margo Magee: Often imitated, never duplicated”

True Fable
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Hey, fresh thread for snarkin’!

9CL I’m not going to snark this one today. I’ve been in that very situation before and the final panel is exactly on target.
A3G …’cuz Margo doesn’t need to know about security for a bunch of watercolor flowers. Tell her something she cares about, like the combination to the safe or where you keep your condom stash or something, Eric.
Archie The kid with the waffle head is laughing at the dog’s hair! Bite ‘em, Hotdog.
BC Points to Mason! I’m beginning to really enjoy this strip again.
Cathy (Must Die) Cathy (MD) can be summed up thusly: Fat fat eat eat whine complain cajole fat fat buy waste eat drink point! talk wheedle promise whine whine stupid grin stupid grin obsess, excuse excuse excuse. Must Die.
Curtis Quick! Time to get the All-Powerful Medicine Woman! Paging Dr. Quinn! Paging Dr. Quinn!
DtM You’re starting out 2008 very unimpressively, Dennis. MenaceWatch2008 is gonna dock you two points and hopes Margaret will stuff the front of your pants with snow. Now THAT’S menacing!
(WT)DT Nothing like a from-out-of-left-field explanation to wrap up this totally dumb storyline.
FC What do you want to bet, Thel is mentally measuring the box to see if any or all of the kids will fit in it. The attic is a nice stash place and NOBODY would miss them.
FBoFW Elly’s hair is DOWN! Connie’s speaking FRENCH! Look quick, it’s Lynn’s once-a-year concession to complaints! Then in panel five, the part of Elly will be played by John, and Connie is played by Grampa Jim minus the chinnuts. what a topsy-turvy day, but at least it’s not Michael and DeeDoormat.
FW Les is creepy, Summer is marginally honest and apparently Cory Cancerbean is a slug. Gee yeah, what a swell cast of characters!
H&J Yolanda, go out and buy a Herb mask, that’ll bring him running.
H&L Embrace your transgenderism, Ditto; don’t be in denial.
JP Abbey: Speaking of things being randy…!
Sam: Was that a yawn I heard?
Abbey: I waited in the tub for you so long, I started to prune! Where were you, Sam?
Sam: I was on the phone talking to my potential new law partner!
Abbey: And THAT was more important than jumping my bones? You asshole!
MT Who wants to bet that Mark has a big red bull’s-eye printed on his starchy khaki ass?
MW Since Mary can make the dog shrink with just a touch, she ought to be able to get rid of its owner with a couple of pats on the back.
MG&G A FAINTING GOAT!!! LOOK! Oh, my day is made.
PreTeena She’s even more stupid than Cathy, and that’s saying a lot.
RMMD How did Dr. KnowItAll suddenly become an expert on cell phones, wasn’t he all dumb about them when they were driving up, or was that just to lull Niki into a false sense of competence?
Zits Behold! Jeremy is revealed as Miss South Carolina 2007! :P
Matt H
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 am [Reply]

Ooh, always wanted to get the first post. My New Year’s Resolution is to get a submission to Pluggers published.
Matt H
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Drat! No. 2. Year’s off to a bad start already…
True Fable
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Don’t lose heart, Matt. I had juuust finished writing when the new thread hit. Think of it as a “would have made TDIET” moment, and meanwhile keep your eye on the prize that is a Pluggers acceptance. :-)
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:37 am [Reply]

Pluggers accept you! Gabba gabba!
True Fable
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Josh: I would imagine that a typical Plugger’s child can’t even spell AARP, so it would have to be the in-law.
Brown-eyed Girl
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:12 am [Reply]

The threads are coming fast and furious: Josh, have you been munching meth brownies? Please don’t paint the site yellow.

Pluggers. Well, one might assume that even a Plugger knows how old their kid is. And by definition any Plugger knows the age one qualifies for AARP. So of course the news comes from the kid-in-law, not the kid. Excuse me, the SON-in-law; in the Plugger universe, the animal-men only marry younger animal-women. The purpose of the call, I reckon, is to inform the folks that now the whole family can go out for the senior’s early bird special…Have I ever mentioned that reading Pluggers makes me hate life?
Scot
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 am [Reply]

Pluggers – oddly enough, it happens. My wife, who is eight years older than me, joined AARP last year. And my mom is only ten years older than
her…OK, now I really hate Pluggers.
Flux
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 am [Reply]

I like that the elderly Plugger dogman is essentially identical in appearance to all other Plugger dogmen, of whatever age, previously depicted in the comic. 1) Is this a sign of artistic sloth, evidenced by an inability to accurately depict signs of aging in the Isle of Dr. Moreau creatures that populate this particular strip? 2) Is it a clever reference to the fact that it’s generally difficult to judge the age of an animal (signs of obvious decrepitude aside)? 3) Or are there about 10 stock Plugger manimal templates that are plugge(r)d in randomly, without any consideration of age beyond puppy vs hound?

I vote for #3, personally.
Frank Parsnip
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:22 am [Reply]

MW: Mary is giving up a bit early, perhaps. She doesn’t want to ask this clown if he has a photo of the dog, can identify the collar on the dog if there was one, describe the dog’s markings, etc. But my guess is this is all going to play out with “Chester” being the proud parent of a litter of puppies of which one will find a home with Mary — at which point Dingo’s proposed scenario will play out. A slip and fall on young un-housebroken puppy pee and poo on a slick kitchen floor, coupled with an active young-dog libido could lead to precisely the result Dingo predicted the other day.

Sex Organ, M.D.: What, like Rex is the master of mobile phone battery consumption? And they don’t need to get up “higher” — this isn’t a fricking radio. They need to get close to a base station, which will probably happen if they just drive for 5 frickin’ minutes.

MT: Kathy is hiding out with Saddam Hussein, who has apparently escaped the noose. No wonder they don’t want the police to come over. Osama Bin Laden is in the next room.

Funky Pantysniffer: I thought “taking the 5th” was something one would do to avoid self-incrimination and not a safe haven for witnesses who wished to avoid incriminating others.

A3G: Ah… foreshadowing! Margo is going to screw up on the alarm system in the future, allowing a fallen-off-the-wagon Alan to slip in and loot the place of Luann’s artworks. He will then put on a black Moe Howard wig and stand with the rest of the Chinese artists selling paintings over by Central Park, collecting enough at $2 a painting to get a couple of vials of crack.

Jugs Parker: Nice bit of under-boob cleavage in panel 1, but it is still deeply wrong that the bath scene was omitted. No diseased crone makes this a good strip today, however.

GT: Why do they even bother giving these people full names? It’s as if the writer had it in his contract that he has to have a minimum number of words in each comic and he figures that “surnames count”.

Marvin: Yes, Bitsy, you’re not getting fed because you’re a fat fuck whose belly drags on the ground even more than your ginormous ass.
BigTed
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:29 am [Reply]

Married off your 15-year-old daughter? This particular cartoon seems to have confused a “You know you’re a Plugger when…” joke with a “You know you’re a redneck when…” joke. Come to think of it, have Gary Brookins and Jeff Foxworthy ever been seen in a room together?
yellojkt
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:15 am [Reply]

Brown-eyed Girl,
That is the same tortured explanation that I came up with. Since pluggers don’t use birth control and have litters of 6 humanimal hybrids at a time, they don’t bother to learn the birthdays of their relatives by marriage. These relatives never invite in-laws to festive occasions in advance, preferring instead to taunt their spouse’s aging parents by phone. That explains it all.

Nevermind, I’m just making it worse.
gleeb
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:32 am [Reply]

9CL: McEldowney, you sadistic bastard.

Curtis: Well, I can see how it would be awkward, but he never told her, “By the way, I stole your hide some time back”?

‘bean: So, is Les not allowed out at night? I mean, it would make sense, seeing as he’s insane, but why wasn’t he at the party?

Parker: How disappointing for Abbey. She emerges from her bath, all languorous, just to have Sam tell her he’s taking a new lover.

Duck: Need to raise liquor money, eh Brucie?
Len
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 am [Reply]

#13 (gleeb) — No, no, the legend always goes, when the were-animal finds her long-lost skin, she turns back into animal form and leaves her human lover. You watch, it’ll happen!

Selkies do it, swan-maidens do it… It’s just more fun to be an animal!
Zamboni_Rodeo
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:35 am [Reply]

FW: I’m completely lost now. I thought it was implied back when the Great Leap Forward happened that Funky and Holly had split up (hence Funky opening a shop in Manhattan).

I was out shopping last weekend and stumbled across my own TDIET, and wished Scaduto was still here to wonder along with me:

WHYIZZIT: In December, all the magazines at the checkout counters have all sorts of fancy high-calorie “Best Holliday Dessert Ever” ideas splashed on their covers. But when January rolls around, these same magazine covers scream from their headlines “LOSE 20 LBS BY VALENTINE’S DAY!”

Sigh. I just can’t do it with the same panache that Scaduto did.
Tracer Bullet
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

DAMMMIT IT ALL TO HELL. DRIVER. YOU PRANCING HALF-MAN. If you’re not going to throw that mulletted superwoman on the floor and give her the violent love she so desperately needs, there are some of us who will, by thunder! You can play slap-and-tickle with that pederast Morgan all you want, but leave the women alone. Damned smooth-chested nancy.
Little Guy
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

JP: It’s official, and I’d never thought it would be done.

There is a bigger douche eunuch devoted to his work than Michael Patterson, and it’s Sam Driver.
Inspector Dim
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

“Look out! It’s Spider Crotch! And it’s coming right towards us!”
man behind the curtain
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 am [Reply]

MW- So by meeting Chester/Ralphie’s pwner Mary once again gets to take her show on the road and extend her meddling beyond the limits of Charterstone. The mysterious stranger may rue the day he tried to recalim his beloved pet. Unless of course, based pon his secret pet trick, this is an elaborate ruse the man uses to pull stick-ups on total strangers. And perhaps it’s the dog who is really a criminal mastermind.
Dean Booth
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:07 am [Reply]

GT: Happy New Year, Thorpe lovers!.
Inspector Dim
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

Geez, these latest Mary Worth storylines, from “Vera’s Rich Elder Brother” to “Wilbur Has a Daughter?” to “Mary Acquires a Pooch–Or Does She?” just aren’t as compelling as “Meddling in Vietnam” or “Stalker-cide.” Karen Moy must have run out of crack.
Keg of Curd
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp, Panel 2: Snapshot of a work entitled, with neoclassic simplicity, Interpretative Dance #4. The bisected basketball is understood to symbolize the midpoint of the lunar passage (the stitches curving ’round so very like the horns of a Mesopotamian bull god); the rising circle of light in the background obviously a reference to to the sun: passage, voyage (or – how wryly in the context! – “travelling”), transcendence, rebirth. The rightmost figure in the frame, however, can only be interpreted in a rather more literal sense as an ambiguously ethnic dude who has infiltrated a high school women’s basketball team.

We feel, on the whole, that the artist’s dazzling cross-cultural conception is, despite considerable technical élan, somewhat undermined by the unclear and overly allusive nature of the metaphor.
AMSTERDANG
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

The Season Opener at Comics Curmudgeon……TEAM!

One of my resolutions is to expand my daily comics this year. Initial thoughts on Gil Thorp: Does this strip accomplish anything more than list the names of student-athletes? If so, I think it should be opened up, TDIET style, so that we can all send in lists of random names.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

Calling Dingo and other PA mudgeons! Want the best pies around? Go to Amish country (Lancaster County) to this little house on the road for amazing goodness. (Just don’t try the homemade root beer unless you like the flat, non-carbonated kind.)

Calling True Fable! Finally got off my duff and gave you the holiday presents I’ve been hinting at! From my trip last year at Six Flags Great Safari in NJ, I give you mountain goats here and mountain goats there for your and other mudgeons’ enjoyment!

Snark later, once I’m at work.
True Fable
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

# 24 Niall – GOATS!! Mountain goats!! Yay, what a wonderful and timely gift, thank you very much on behalf of caprian aficionados everywhere!
Aramael
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

Sorry, question from the ignorant: what is AARP? Some sort of old people’s organisation?
Hubris
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

You know you’re a plugger when your grotesque anthropomorphic paws make it difficult to dial the world’s last corded phone.
Randall
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Pluggers always makes me turn back to the front page of the newspaper to cheer up. I may be old and in decline, but at least I wasn’t in a horrible car accident! or Killed in a war!, or recalled by the Chinese!
Inspector Dim
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

AARP = Association of Anthropomorphic Rotund Pluggers
Steve
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: Yea! Abbey is back, although that robe provides a little too much coverage. She’s yawning; another missed opportunity for Sam the idiot.
Allie Cat
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

FOOB – Lynn – your strip this week has been total ADD. Pick a scenario and play it out, but quit hopping all over the place. I personally still think Dee is carrying Michael’s demon spawn again, but what do I know? I think it would be a good way for Lynn to flash back to any number of Elly’s pregnancies.

9CL – Am I just dumb, or is there something more to this final panel? Has the minus turned into a plus suddenly, or are the having a “The Graduate” moment and they sink down into their seats on the bus realizing that although they got what they wanted and that what they wanted isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? I’m down with it either way – I just can’t figure it out – sort of like FW’s Sunday high-five.

Luann – Unless Greg Evans is getting paid a lot of money by the Poky Little Puppy Charitable Trust (r), he needs to move the hell on. We want Brad and Toni! Or TJ. Whatever – we just want something other than Gunther picking apart a Little Golden Book.

A3G – I never thought I’d find Margo boring, but here we are. She’s much more fun when she’s bitching at her assistant or trying to take Ruby down a few pegs.

MW – Yes, Mary – the beagle belongs to this guy. And when you find out he has an emotionally disturbed kid who relies on this dog as part of therapeutic treatment, I hope you feel a deep, burning sense of shame. Who am I kidding? Mary had her sense of shame removed along with her appendix back in the Ford administration.
Gabacho
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

Mary Worth – The exquisite dullness of this story line in which absolutely nothing has happened of interest is about to majestically explode with the Mary having a new ~~victim to torture~~ friend to advise.

Knowledge of Mary’s abilities has long been common in the animal kingdom. Chesteralph deliberately decided to lie in Mary’s way on the New/Old Country Road as he does not have the skills to intervene with his previous owner to stop the shooting game.

Yes, Chesteralph, is sick of his human companion’s propensity for stage violence and now Mary will save them both.

Or something. Please, there must be a story here.
AtomicDog
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Speed Bump – You know, of course, that you’re living in a tomb.
Ned Ryerson
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

I can only spare a few words per comic:

Judge Parker: Shower wand
Rex Morgan, MD: Car charger
Gil Thorp: Sky-hook??
Mary Worth: Peanut butter quickie.
Mac
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 am [Reply]

…and Google Ads, in their wonderful way, put up a text ad for “Registered Sex Offenders”. I don’t know to what degree this overlaps the Plugger demographic.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

A3G: I don’t know if this is an android or if–seeing the “master” reference in panel one–Margo knows that Eric is powerless against her sultry Barbara Eden impression.

9CL: I would guess that the stick is suddenly turning blue after our ex-clergy couple thought they were out of the woods. That’s a guess though. This turn of events might have worked better in a chromo-riffic Sunday strip.

Phantom: Don’t envy the father here, being at eye level with the stripey nutsack. He must be craning the hell out of his neck to avoid it.

Big Dog: Cartoonist has either run out of ideas for monster Great Dane around the house jokes, or has suffered a psychotic break.

Momma: This joke could have easily been done with one panel. Actually, that might be one too many.

GT: “Team!” It’s nice to see the basketball chicks are more athletically gifted than the football guys, but they still seem to have trouble remembering their name.

Luann: “And scooch over thataway, Brillohead. You’re giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

OBH: Ruthie’s question about which is the rich leg has oodles of disturbing implications. She’s just the kind of kid who will try to get money from someone else’s kneecap. Stick to slacks, Miss Avis.

FC: If by “Christmas spirit” you mean “bottle of Captain Morgan”, mommy’s gonna keep that handy all year ’round.

Garfield: Kinda funny joke, disturbing scale. A cat, a snowman, and a snotty little boy all the same size? The hand of Dr Moreau is at work here.

S-M: Spidey’s getting ready to hump the getaway car. Since he missed MJ’s big night, that’s as much action as he’ll be getting for a while.

H&J fifth panel:
Yolanda: No, seriously. Why doesn’t Jamaal find me attractive?
Sarah: Um, gee. That’s a really good question. I’m sure I don’t… See, it’s a little hard to… More iced tea?
McManx
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

The real joke in this Pluggers is that dog-man plugger HAS a son-in-law. Everyone knows that whenever his dog-daughter-bitch goes into heat she’ll let anyone hump her.
Nate
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

Re: Crankshaft:

“I know you said the subject is closed, honey, but are you absolutely sure you won’t consider having your father euthanized? It’s just like going to sleep, and we get our lives back!”
kingkong
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

I’m recovering from stomach surgery and I was making great progress when you weren’t posting any updates.

Thanks for the popped stitches!
Tabby
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

9cl/tdiet
you know, the commercials for these test sticks always show people who are so excited to get and share the news of a positive result, but the truth is at least 90% of the things are sold to people who’s entire line of thought is “please, no, oh please no!” – oh yeaaaah!
mere cog in the machine
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

FOOB: Lynn Johnston is really taking the “I’m so OK with Elly’s aging process and so should you be” thing way too far. Look at her in the last panel; smugly proud of her eybags and dangling wattle. Why not just break the fourth wall and have Elly address the readers directly by giving a stomach-turning tour of the train wreck that is her body?

“Hi folks! Have you ever really SEEN my stretch marks? Let me show you…”

“Does this look like a boil to you? Or is it something else….it’s hard to see it when it’s on your own butt…”

“Whoever would have believed I could have so much hair in such a weird place? Neat, huh?”

“Released from their support, my breasts drop like hanged men! Hahaha!”

Oh, never mind. I am making myself ill.
Calico
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

#41 – Well, as you know Elly’s diet is so very ultra-healthy.
Now we will be treated to 5 weeks of her post-holiday remorse about having binged every day since September of ‘07 (or was it ‘06?).
Bootsy
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

#16, oh Tracer Bullet, thanks for the morning laugh.

Josh, you’re back! I’m back! At work, so maybe no exclamation points necessary. Oh well. Fun New Orleans meet up of the Mudges. Trotzenbonnie, Big Bims, Non-Shannon and Shannon were great fun, and Trotzenbonnie’s eBay find of an April Patterson doll was creepy enough for us all to want another beer.

We all are WAY better looking than the picture shows.

Red and AFKA Ben, hope y’all are doing better. Did I miss anyone? Everybody here?

I saw a woman at the grocery who looked just like Mary Worth, down to the purple track suit. it gave me chills.

My first thought on seeing Dee amd Mike wake up together was, who are those two women in bed in FBoFW?
mere cog in the machine
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

42: I seriously think my growing irritability with FOOB would be greatly lessened if Johnston took a page out of Batiuk’s book and made Elly a boozehound. I think alot of readers would be fascinated by an increasingly downward spiral; taking money out of the cookie jar for another box of wine, taking money out of John’s wallet for a pint of bourbon, the lies (I just took too much NightQuil, I’ve got a COLD for Chrissakes), the increasingly erratic behaviour (Oh Anthony, your too good for my daughter – you need a woman with some experience), not to mention the utterly ineffectual attempts by her husband and children to clean her up. C’mon Lynn! Give it to us!
rhymes with puck
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

FW: No, she didn’t drink, but she has started down the path towards emulating her mom by becoming a teenage mother. This can only end with cancer.

MT: If Andy could speak, he would say “gee, Mark, don’t you think the police can go talk to Luke themselves? Dumbass!”

DT: And this plot ends with a twist from the 50’s.

RMMD: Wait, that can’t be right…a serial comic strip mentions something about technology that came out in the last 20 years, and Rex is right? How the hell did that happen?

FBOFW: Pyjamas must be Canadianese for ‘pajamas’….that sound aboot right, eh?

Spider-Man: I always think of Peter as being completely incompetant, but today he manages to recognize in an instant that this car has rear-wheel drive.
Albatross
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

FBOFW: I predict that a year from now Granthony and Lizardbreath STILL won’t have “done it,” Grandpa Chinnuts will still be silently wheeled around begging for death, and Michael will still somehow be supporting a family of five off the proceeds of a single book that was never reviewed anywhere.
Alley Cat
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

#15 (Zamboni): If you had picked up one of those December “women’s magazines” you would have seen full-page photoshop-enhanced dazzling photos of luscious, swirly, glistening desserts and their recipes alternated with articles about how to get through the holidays without gaining weight, illustrated with skinny chicks sipping cups of tea and eating melba toast. You don’t have to wait a whole month for the madness.
Darkefang
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

A3G: In a last cruel joke before his plane crashes into the Himalayas, Eric has set things in motion for what he believes will be a hilarious odd-couple situation between Margo and Alan. What Eric doesn’t know is that as soon as his plane leaves US territory, Margo is sending Alan out to meet Jimmy Hoffa in the visitor’s end-zone of Giant’s Stadium.

DT: Ok, the governor murdered some guy so he could buy his house on the cheap and sell it to the state for 105% of market value? And this took place long enough ago so that the house is an “old haunted house”? How long has this superhighway project been in the works? How long has this guy been the governor?

Dick Locher seems to spend a lot of time coming up with creative and grisly ways to kill people, and not so much time on the story leading up to the carnage. I guess he figures that if you spill enough blood, it covers up the continuity errors.

MT: “This is strange, Andy… I’m not sure the police are going to believe me when I tell them Luke Wilson confessed to killing Bull!”

Especially not if they see you talking to Andy like he was a person.
Mibbitmaker
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

GT:
Panel 1: All the Milford girls’ basketball players deeply desire to grab the exaulted Septopus Speech Balloon (having 7 tentacles) for the amazing power it imbues upon she who captures it. Just look at that glow! The inscription saying “TEAM!” shows its magical power to be bestowed upon some lucky sportsperson.

Panel 3: Since the drawing is, as usual, badly done, they need to identify each one by name. And they don’t usually use editorial cartoon labels in comic strips. Which is unfortunate, because it is fairly topical: given the dialogue’s second sentence (EEEEEWWWWW!!), this is clearly a picture of Bill Clinton’s girlfriends!
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

DT — Yeah, my explanation was better. The Gov could still have bought the property because the highway was coming through, but there’s no way he would have scheduled it for demolition that morning when he was supposed to spend the night there. This is Tess and the blond policeman’s doing.
Harold
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

Yesterday’s Mary Worth (second panel):

“So you say you taught your Ralphie to roll over and play dead when you pretended to shoot him…”

(STOMP)

“Did your Ralphie also happen to have a broken spine and ruptured internal organs? …No? Then I guess this isn’t your dog, buster!“
Mr. Coffee Nerves
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

When Elly makes General Foods International Coffee in FOOBland, is it something like “Detroit Sunset” or “Newark Meadow?”
Alley Cat
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

FOOB: I have a question. What is on Anthony’s cheeks? Are those supposed to be freckles? Or are they acne scar pits?
Calico
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

#48 DT – smells like Massachusetts.
Yes, DT is getting weirder by the day. It’s like Pulp Fiction on hallucinogens.

#44 – Yeah! Elly sinks into drunkdom in the ‘burbs, and as a bonus, John finally comes out of the closet.
bats :[
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

24. Ooooooooh, Niall: you had me at “sticky buns.”
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

Let’s have a look at Thursday Comics…

Archie shows that the AJGLU 3000 has an inkling of the concept of sarcasm.

BB needs a copy editor – the General’s been saluted with a bowling ball, and by a blithering idiot.

DT is trying to steal plots from Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Steal from the best, at least – but it won’t automatically make you more coherent.

Garfield is once again more mancing than Dennis.

JP does exactly what we feared, showed Abby post-bath. Sam speaks the truth – we all want to take a randy’s place becuase Sam sure as hell isn’t randy!

Lio is either opening a flirting advance, or just can’t roleplay without severely realistic settings.

Big Dog keeps the continuity in a frightening succession; after staring at the cheerleaders, he now found his way to them. Now that should make for some drama on TV!

MW: Since when is ‘play dead’ a unique trick??

MC: we can barely see Miss January… you know, you could make a My Cage Calendar with those? There could be a few places to sell it. :)

RM: I can’t get past Rex’ lips in panel 3… *shiver*

SlyFx: I have to admit, that is a lovely snow bunny! Calm, peaceful, contemplative, and definitely not the usual. And topped off by a cute tabby cat fan drawing!
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

Comments on some of the recent threads:

Gold-Digging Nanny’s treatise on Dick Tracy was world-class snark and excellent memory (the same storyline changing the police report from suicide to patricide did twitch something in my brain, but I’m not obsessive enough to search for the reason.)

Cornwhacker’s links to previous Gil Thorp greeting cards made me realise how little I still know about the characters (and I’m fine with that). Gil is married and has kids! Who knew?

Girl Reporter: Sadly, I have to say that even Gil Thorpe is better-drawn than what I can do.

Non-Shannon: “Not married yet”? I guess with you there with a “Shannon” I figured you two were at least an item – another good reason for me to refrain from speaking on someone’s hotness rating. But if you’re going to ask… va-va-va-voom! :)

Dean Booth: I had missed this tiny change in a DT strip which truly makes it hilarious and much more true to DT “life”.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

1. True Fable on FC: wouldn’t that be crossdressing, not transgendering? Because MTFs don’t necessarily wear dresses. (I know at least three…)

7. Brown-Eyed Girl: which would be worse, Josh painting the site yellow or wearing daisy dukes?

16. Tracer Bullet: isn’t the problem exactly that Sam Driver is leaving Abbey alone?

18. Inspector Dim: amazingly, even such a line as “spider-crotch” is not enough to make me read Spider-Man again. It’s been over a month, and I feel fine.

25. True Fable: I have photos of other horned and hoofed mammals from the same safari trip, but they’re not goats.

35. Mac: I dread to see what ads Google would have on this. “Find out where you can get your very own Registered Sex Offender”? “More Registered Sex Offenders available on eBay”?

43. Bootsy: even better-looking than those great photos? All of you looked really great already!

47. Alley Cat: I never pick those magazines up, but I certainly believe that they thrive on contradictory madness. Eat all you want! Then we’ll tell you how to lsoe the weight we told you how to gain! No buying those magazines would be the best way for those people to stop gaining weight, and save money too!

55. bats :[: So, how sticky do you like your buns? (…did I just get in trouble?..) But really, everything in that place smelled incredibly delicious. And they only make ultra-fresh pies from fruit in season harvested locally. To. Die. For.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

And finally..

Comics Casting:

The entire cast of the Funky Winkerbean live-action movie to be played by Bruce Willis, the Smirk King, against a green screen. He can shoot the Lisa scenes last, after shaving his head (again).
Allie Cat
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

#59 – Niall – I’d pay to see that movie. Especially if there were explosions. Lots of them.
Mibbitmaker
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

BBailey: The bowling ball stuck on Sarge’s finger is very apt, since the joke here is really heavy-handed! (ducks)

Adam: Because, according to the color version of this in my paper, taking a car full of boys (or, as Rex Morgan would call it: “Jackpot!”) to the zoo leads to having a blue liquid oozing from a man’s neck. Adam learned this the hard way, of course.

A3G: Oh, it’s the real Margo, alright. A robot couldn’t accomplish the sarcasm in panel one. The Archie comic strips have proved that quite handily.

FC: But, in spite of Grandma’s pleas through Billy, the CartoonKeanes return the panel to the Spirit of Satan.

Nancy: …Just then, the magic hat of Frosty the Snowman fame blew through the air until it found the head of Sluggo’s snowman.

Sluggo Smith’s funeral will be held Saturday morning at 10AM at St. Brushmiller’s Cathedral.

Blondie: But, Mr. Dithers, Dagwood’s nose just so happens to be brushing against a Mallard Fillmore strip in the paper. If that doesn’t qualify as a “grindstone”, I don’t know what does!

GF:: PSST! –Nobody tell Bucky that Letterman and Ferguson got their writers back!

MG&G: A grinning Mike Peters to True Fable: “You’re welcome.”
huntingbyrd
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

Leaving the phone on doesn’t always drain the phone.You can leave on for about 2 or 3 days before the stupid warning comes on saying you have low battery.But doing stuff like taking pictures or taking a video or oh i dunno texting which you can do with out a signal, can lower you battery pretty quick.
odinthor
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

27. Hubris. — It’s a little-known fact that not only do I have the world’s last corded phone, but the phone in question is not only corded, it’s also a rotary phone. One of the great snicker moments in my life came when an appliance repairman asked to use my phone, and had to spend several flustered moments figuring out how to dial a rotary phone.

And a balancing snicker moment came at another time, when I was watching a suspense-filled dramatic (1990s?) movie set in the 1930s (sorry, I forget its name). At an unsettling crisis-filled turn of events, Our Hero lurches into a phonebooth, where, curiously, a modern button keypad phone awaits him. Somehow, the familiar beep boop bip sounds as he anxiously pushed the buttons to dial it managed to turn this serious movie into a comedy for me.
commodorejohn
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

9CL – Oh good, now they won’t have to live the terrible tragedy of raising a child oh my god oh my God! Seriously, what the hell was the point of the last FRICKIN’ MONTH AND A HALF!?

Curtis – Looks like I called it. Just curious here, but what kind of snake venom causes massive ear drainage?

DT – Did I not just tell you yesterday that I DON’T GIVE A CRAP!?

FOOB – Oh, just what I wanted to ring in the new year: more Johnstonian self-loathing!

FW – Oh goody, it’s nice to know that everybody’s horrible personal tragedies have survived the ten-year jump and latched onto the new generation. Also, Summer, if you really don’t want to get the kid in trouble, you don’t say something like “I wasn’t drinking.” You just say “yes, I’m taking the Fifth.”

GT – Panel two is a nice bit of Thorpian art, but what’s Joel Hodgson doing on a girls’ basketball team?

JP – See what you missed, Sam, you dumbass? No, of course you don’t.

MT – That’s right, Mark, they certainly won’t bother to verify that with Luke or anything.

Marmaduke – Cripes, more continuity. This is getting scary.

NS – Hey, a Non Sequitur weekday storyline that’s actually interesting and amusing!

RMMD – Michael Jackson, M.D.

SM – The Persuader: foiled by rear-wheel drive. Finally, a villain as lame as Spider-Man! Geez, the Shocker was more credible as a supervillain.
King Folderol
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

#36 – Damn, beat me to it!

Crankshaft –

Just as annoying as the Family Circus, but so much grimmer.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Biatuk but, without the freakishly big heads, it just…won’t…work.

Pluggers – Well, it is an example from Chuck Jungman’s life, and Pluggers is an earnest if not altogether accurate effort to showcase America’s slow, gradual descent into knee-slapping poverty.
Rainbird
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

48 Darkefang
I thought of a bugs bunny cartoon. You know, the ones where they want to build a super highway over his rabbit hole. Perhaps that is what the writer of DT has been doing, watching old Bugs cartoons.
Rainbird
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

RMMD Come on, come on, get with the texting Nikki. You have foreshadowed this for weeks now, and we know you want to do it, and save the day.
huntingbyrd
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

#45 rhymes with puck
This girl in FW might get cancer too?? Then the father will morn for about a week or a month.Nooooo not again! not the long and boring year of showing us how she has cancer and how she’ll die!
Rhymes with puck……your awesome!!!you hear that? YOU ARE AWESOME!
Mibbitmaker
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

#56 (Archie), #61 (A3G): So I didn’t see today’s “Archie” before writing that! (…or after)
Josh
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

#48 re: highways — To be fair, what with local opposition and funding searches, major highway building projects can take years or longer (my own home state looks to finally be building a new highway, the ICC, that has been in planning stages for literally 40 years now). Perhaps the governor-to-be bought the house thinking the highway would come through any day now, then after years of waiting eventually decided that the only way it would happen would be to become chief executive and get it done himself.

At any rate, this plot indicates that Dick Tracy’s home state has some particularly gruesome ideas about how eminent domain seizures should be performed. As if we’d expecte anything less!

Josh
fillmoreeast
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Spidey: Where’s the front end of the car, based on the final panel? Is it tunneling through the asphalt?
BlinkAndItsOver
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

You know how this time of year you have these discussions of how you know just when the holidays are really over? The holidays are really over when Dick Tracy wraps the Halloween storyline.

In other words, they’re almost over. Any day now. Soon.
joeyjoejoe
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Speaking of sarcasm (56, 61), I think it’s also important to note that this is possibly the first ever instance of Plugger sarcasm. Usually Pluggers seem too depressed/stupid to understand the concept of sarcasm.
Hubris
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

#63 odinthor – We had one of those AT&T rental rotary phones, and shared a “party line” until I was twelve years old (circa 1984). I owe to the latter an eerie feeling of loneliness I experience during today’s calls, where the labored breathing of an eavesdropping elderly neighbor is curiously absent.
bats :[
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

64. commodorejohn and others: I rather liked today’s 9CL (although I wasn’t keen on beating a moribund horse to get there). I think it was sweet that Francis and Diane have been given a temporary “reprieve,” for lack of a better term, to get to know each other as real people on a personal, rather than professional level, and that they are disappointed in spite of their relief that she isn’t pregnant. Yet.

Well, as for JP, what can I say?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2163348452/
commodorejohn
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

#75 bats :[ – Yeah, I know that’s what they were going for, and I have no beef with that, but for the past month and a half they’ve been talking about it like it’s Winkerbeanian terminal cancer or something.
cheech wizard
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

14/Len – the legend always goes, when the were-animal finds her long-lost skin, she turns back into animal form and leaves her human lover.

No, no, no — the thief and medicine woman will come back to his hut and find a dead buffalo. So they’ll roast it. The village will have a great feast, Nkewhatshisname will marry the medicine woman and everyone will live happily ever after.
Joe
January 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

LUANN: Face it Gunther…….you’re never gonna “Poke Your Puppy” between the boards of Luann’s “Fence”…..ever. However…….Dopethony finally managed to grope Elizaloser so I suppose anything is possible.

BABY BLUES: What kind of a “businessman” does his “business” while sitting on the floor?

SMIRKY CANCERBEAN: No, daddy Les, you Geek, I didn’t drink, but I did have sex with every guy at the party! Including your buddy Fucky, er, FUNKY!

FC: “Don’t put away the Christmas Spirit”?! Kiss off, Billy. Christmas is OVER. Shove that shit back where it belongs until next year, ya little snot. Bah Humbug. 40+ years of wasted ink and these cretins haven’t aged a day, same old stupid kids, saying the same damn stupid things. At least their mom is a hot MILF.

Which brings us to….

FOOB: That’s right, SmElly. You’re not a hot MILF anymore! Your sad, dejected face in the last panel shows that you finally accept this reality.
gh
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

#14 Len, #77 cheech wizard –

Look, guys. I know this story, OK? The lady puts on the buffalo robe and a mask and then the guy leads her around on a leash and forces her to have sex with all his friends, and . . . wait. That’s The Story of O. I get all these holiday tales mixed up.
Big Sims
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

I have the normal relationship (which is to say curious) with my father-in-law. We have little in common, save an undying love for his daughter, my wife, and our phone conversations are limited to; “I reckon we’ll pull into town around 7ish”. “Thanks for Birthday card.” or even, “Your grandson wears a size 4.” A trifle distant I know, we once planned a surprise birthday party for Mrs. Big Sims, but our infrequent conversations are typically short.
Today’s Pluggers confused me. Am I supposed to tell my father-in-law when I join AARP? Is this how dutiful sons-in-law behave? I only have boys, but if, when they’re marring age and choose to marry a man thus giving me a son-in-law, I’d be equally as nonplused as our Plugger pal if my son-in-law called me and related such a RANDOM PEICE OF INFORMATION as joining AARP.
Do daughters-in-law behave so obtusely?
Little Guy
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

75: bats :[ You’re too generous to Sam. He has no ‘impediment’ to standing up.
Perky Bird
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Curtis–

I, too, bet the buffalo gal will turn back into a buffalo once she got her hide back. But what I want to know is, if buffalos are really people under their hides, why do the buffalo-people have on clothing under the hides? I would think that if a buffalo took off its skin to reveal a person, that person would be naked (just as if you had skinned the buffalo).

Or am I putting way too much thought into this Kwanzaavaganza?
Benicillin
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

(cough)

Glad the Curmudgeon is rolling again. I turn my back for a day and *boom* there’s 4 threads going.

I never got a chance to comment on Non-Shannon’s hotness in that weird Mod Squad photo.

(sigh)
man behind the curtain
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

FBOW — Prediction for 2008 — As Lynn once again works real life into her storyline, Dr. Patterfoob bails on Elly and moves in with a hot model train enthusiast. Granthony then realizes his true fantasy and takes up with Elly. They get hitched and he becomes Lizardbreath’s dad.
mere cog in the machine
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

80: The inexplicable use of “son-in-law” in the Pluggers comic makes me involuntarily add another line to the dialogue:

“Oh yeah…sure, that’s great news. Thanks for making my day. How are you enjoying FUCKING MY DAUGHTER?”
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Sluggo Smith will never die. For about 70 years he has been living with insufficient clothing in a house with broken windows and holes in the ceilings and the roof and insufficient food — and every time he goes over to Nancy’s to eat she serves him spaghetti, which frequently gets tangled up on his or her head before it gets eaten. BUT HE IS A SURVIVOR!!!!!
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

75. bats :{: Yes. Yes yes yes yes. (And no need for me to draw her with bodypaint again, it’s all washed off – except for her need, Sam. Though I hear tell that painting a body is rather… invigorating.)

82. PerkyBird: considering also that the strip definitely showed the same woman naked while pregnant, it’s not as if there was an aversion, so your question still stands.

83. Benicillin: I commented today on Non-Shannon’s hotness, I’m sure she’ll appreciate it today too. :)
mere cog in the machine
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Lynn Johnston may be a highly successful comic strip creator, but if you ask me she takes herself WAY too seriously.
Gatorman
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

I agree that Mary is being set up. This is a classic “long con” and the dog is definitely in on it. In fact ol’ “Chester/Ralphie” (who knows how many aliases this pup possesses) has already scoped out where MW keeps her valuables (which probably consist of some cheap cameos, savings bonds, and her collection of hand-knitted knitting needles). Nonetheless, the mark has been chosen and much time has been invested into this scam. Especially delicious is that Mary is too naive to pick up on the subtle hint of what is in store for her in the form of “Chester/Ralphie’s” little “trick.” And I suspect once the main con man finds out what little of value Mary actually has, Mary will either be taken for ransom, killed, or he’ll run away in abject horror once she lays into him with her withering stare and holier-than-thou stump speech. Either that or she’ll give the dog back and refuse his offer of a reward. And all THAT will take 2 ½ months to transpire.
Calico
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

#90 – Now coming to a theater near you –
“Goodbiddies.”
Little Guy
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

83: I was going to be a gentleman and not make a Scadutoian “hubba-hubba” comment but… Trotzenbonnie has ‘The Urge’ to be HAWT!
Poteet
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

Pluggers — Re our Pope’s question, I know a young woman who grew up in rural Iowa and reported being asked out on dates in high school by young gentlemen whom she strongly suspected of desiring her father’s farmland more than her bod. She’s a very perceptive young person, so I believe her. But she’s also smart, cheerful, and very attractive, so it seems more likely to me that they were smitten with the entire potential package. In any case, with farmland prices skyrocketing, I’d bet her experience is not unique.
Calico
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Haha, I meant #89!
Argh!
Sans Sense
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

89. Gatorman -

I agree with you about the “long con”. Chester was fooled by the millions of dollars in Confederate currency left to Mary by her long dead husband, a survivor of the siege of Petersburg.
Snugoo
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

Could someone help me out with Gasoline Alley? I only started reading it recently to keep up with the snarking on this blog so I may not be hep to how the strip works. Do they ever finish a story line? Is there ever a resolution? Gramps gets kidnapped and forced to tunnel under a bar, the street collapses, the police show up and then we see him getting ready to go on vacation a couple of weeks later. What the hell happened? He was recognized as a kidnapping victim and let go? He is convicted of attempted burgalery and gets out on parole? He shoots his way to freedom? What? What about the Santa story line? The north pole melts, the toys are poison, Santa tells us to have faith and delivers the toys. How? Does he deliver the poison Chinese toys? Does he whip up some toys out of egg cartons and pipe cleaners? What happened?
Gap-Toothed Starey \
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

9CL: I’m with True Fable. McEldowney is being a lot more subtle than he usually is, but the look in the last panel translates to “Oh, what might have been.” Don’t let that subtlety lull you into a false sense of security, though. I’m sure we’ll have it beaten into our heads over the next few weeks, complete with psychoanalysis of the couple by Thorax, a sequence in which Edda and Amos speculate about their own reactions to a hypothetical similar situation in their lives, a text-heavy excursus involving a unicorn, and an assessment of the situation from the cat’s point of view.
Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO" guy
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

Damn, why does the page keep mangling my name?
Uncle Lumpy
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

#95 Snugoo –

Joel is magic! (Shhh. . . )

#89 Gatorman; #94 Sans Sense –

There’s a second dog! Oh, this is going to be great!

#97 GTSH guy –

HOOOO!
Sans Sense
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

MT: “Bull’s widow and my secret lover, Kathy Malone, had nothing to do with this killing Bull thing that I, Luke Wilson, did all by myself. Tell that to Sgt. Steve McQueen, Pvt. Idaho and General Mills…unless of course I survive, then it was all her and that caveman dude!”
Poteet
January 3rd, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

# 95 — Good luck, Snugoo. Logic and GA don’t go together well.
gh
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

#98 Uncle Lumpy –

#89 Gatorman; #94 Sans Sense –
There’s a second dog! Oh, this is going to be great!

Just watch where you step on the grassy knoll.
Joe Btfsplk
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

Curtis - I figured Ndalia’s people were buffalo selkies a few threads back. Wikipedia’s article on selkies is a good enough guide to the mythology of them. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if there were a similar and probably even older legend in African tradition. I’m just not sure how this is all going to work out now. #64 commodorejohn is probably right; Buffalo Ndalia will recover from the snake bite, and Ndemi will return just as she gallops away. Either that, or Ndemi will find a dead buffalo in his hut, and being both an opportunist and a bit dim, will be halfway through a nice steak dinner before he figures out where Ndalia went. In any event we will all learn a lesson about crime not paying, or something.

The Secret of Roan Inish is a wonderful movie, by the way, one of those uncommon films that is aimed at both children and adults without insulting the intelligence of either, provided they have the attention span to sit and allow its story to unfold.

Phantom – Hey, Ghost-Who-Doesn’t-Quite-Grasp-The-Concept: She’s not showing the world what you look like, doofus. She’s showing the world your superhero costume disguise thing, which is what you wear to keep the world from knowing what you look like. Every two-bit low-life you’ve ever dealt with has seen that stupid costume. That’s not the identity that you want the world to see, not the one you need to keep hidden. Dork. Try maybe actually doing the city a bit of good and fighting a bit of real crime here by telling her, “No more vandalizing other people’s property!”

Popeye – I suppose you’re old enough to be told the truth, kid. You’ve never actually seen what’s under that sleeper thing that you always wear, have you? No. Well, see, the reason you don’t have pants is because you don’t have legs to put in them. Your lower half is just a kind of tapering thing like the body of a slug. Don’t worry yourself too much about it; even with that, you’re still probably the least grotesque character in town.
Joe Btfsplk
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

#102 Myself – Edit:

That’s ~~not~~ the identity that you want the world to see, not the one you need to keep hidden.
odinthor
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

Phantom — Why’s the black dude sticking his hand up Phantom’s stripey crotch? Well, ok, I guess I know why he’d be doing it; but, gee whiz, everyone seems awfully calm and poised about this blatant, um . . . oh, that’s the saddle. Never mind. The horse does have a certain “Oh, the things I could tell you!” expression in the first panel, though.
The Divine O’F
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

102 Joe B: I second the recommendation of The Secret of Roan Inish. That’s all I got. Hope to have my own observations again sometime this year.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

Yet another Shoutout to Mr Weber, Jr, Esq

I think I’ll make a weekly trip to his excellent website, http://www.kidcartoonists.com for both Slylock puzzles seemingly exclusive to the website, and for some of the drawings that inspire kids to cartoon – an excellent initiative I fully endorse.

It’s also amusing to see some of the comments. In this Cassandra in a one-piece swimsuit, one hilarious poster says: “she has less dress she is saying lies” which says… something about the poster’s experience with women, maybe. I’m not sure. I’m just seriously entertained by it. Also unintentionally-hilarious-for-perverted minds: “if she had a pearl necklace, it’s not on her neck”. Well, some kinds just naturally vanish… (Of course, just having Cassandra, Slylock and a pearl necklace in the same strip is bound to get us diving for the gutter.)

There are some terrific Count Weirdly strips, too. The way they are filled with creepy critters or even showing a creepily sweating robot is nothing short of awesome. (Speaking of awesome, the catlady with pink hair (red dye fading off?) and earmuffs? mrowr. Now that’s my idea of pretty.) So much stuff happens in those strips! Sight gags, shoutouts (the robot has excellent taste in SF, and if it makes kids discover Asimov, more power to Weber), little details that make the whole.

(Also, a kid requests an animated Slylock. Would seeing Cassandra move be good, awesome, or magnificent? And who should voice her? Or Slylock for that matter…)
gh
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

#106 Niall –

Cassandra Cat voice-over? Diana Rigg, hands down.
Len
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

This is not the first time Ashley has worn a long tunic with a cross emblazoned on the front. It’s not a usual item in most Goth Chicks’ wardrobes. Is she a very aggressive Christian? Preparing to go on Crusade? Taking religious vows?

If Norm really was a vampire, Ashley’s wardrobe would keep him away! (Blood-sucking platypuses… Now I’ve seen everything!)

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080103&name=My_Cage
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Haha, yeah.

I have to say, though, that today’s My Cage was a nice insight into Ashley’s idea of romance, especially coupled with last Sunday’s strip. Wow, careful, funny character developement in the paper funnies. Who does that nowadays?? :)
Flipper
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

If only the kid in Luann had yelled “HOOOO” instead of “YEAH,” all would have been right with the world.
Little Guy
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

106: If Bob Weber puts up a tip jar, let’s see if we can get a CGI-’300′-ish version of Slylock Fox….

I’m overreaching, am i?
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

…in cartoons and in nature, you can’t see muscles under a coat of fur… so it wouldn’t do much. :)
Len
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

#53 (Alley Cat) — Which pair of cheeks are you looking at?

(Ugh! I disgusted myself. Visions of Anthony’s fundiment dance in my head!)
Ichi
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

#10 MW – I wouldn’t be surprised to see that Chester turns out to be a mother and Mary had mistaken the dog’s gender given that she never really learned what a penis was.
LTBF
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

When Ellie’s nighbor barged in without knocking, I thought iot was Iris.
Shermy Glamrocker
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

#74 Hubris: When I was a young ‘un, I would silently eavesdrop on the elderly neighbor on the party line.

True story: When I first met my future (now present) in-laws, my fiance’s dad remarked afterward: “You know you’re getting old when you meet your daughter’s boyfriend and ‘How you doing, son?’ just doesn’t cut it anymore.”

I’m 12 years older than her and 15 years younger than her dad. I’ll be joining AARP in three years; Mrs. Glamrocker still has 15 to go.

Just for fun, I’m going to call my father-in-law and tell him after I join. Will hilarity ensue? More important, am I a Plugger?
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

1
True Fable
Your Zits commentary made me laugh. Congrats on your goats
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

116. SHermy: that’s not too bad; with my previous girlfriend, I was 15 years older than her and, um, about 5 years younger than her dad…
Beppo
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Margo-bot 4000 has adjustable sass and lip settings.
I keep mine set high.
Mountain Mama
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#48–Darkefang: “Dick Locher seems to spend a lot of time coming up with creative and grisly ways to kill people, and not so much time on the story leading up to the carnage. I guess he figures that if you spill enough blood, it covers up the continuity errors.”

Well, doesn’t that explain the careers of Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal, God-knows-who else in Hollywood?

#118, Niall: Um, I’m rotten in math. You were 40, the girlfriend was 25, and the dad was 35? That doesn’t sound right.

There should be a telethon for us math-impaired folks.

Mountain “confused” Mama
Alley Cat
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#113 (Len): OMG, pure white nether-cheeks sprinkled with pimples, a light sheen of butt-sweat and the occasional scraggly hair. Did I miss the day this was drawn?
Mountain Mama
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

You know, Gasoline Alley is insane, but I love the art work. I love Rufus’ (Joel’s?) little kitten. I love how Skeezix is leaning against the last panel today.

Just a little New Year’s love today, instead of snark, I guess.

Happy New Year to the whole CC family!
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

#106 Niall –

Cassandra Cat voice-over? Debbie Travis
Neil Young
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

119/Beppo – Margo-bot 4000 has adjustable sass and lip settings.
I keep mine set high.

But not the angry one, a new design, new design…
Joe
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Concerning the train-wreck that is FOOB:

Why do I do this to myself? I just couldn’t help but read the FoobStalk today. Of course, it’s filled with such sappy, gut-gurgling crap like:

“I’m SO excited about Anthony and Elizabeth…..!”

“I am very happy that Anthony and Elizabeth are together again…..”

“Anthony and Elizabeth together again is a dream come true…….!”

“Anthony and Elizabeth deserve to marry and have kids together snd be happy….!”

“Oh, thank you Lynn! Thank you thank you thank you thank you, I’ve hoped and prayed that Anthony and Elizabeth would get together again, please let them marry, please please please please….!”

“Thank you Lynn, you are so wonderful, my life mirrors your own, I’m so thrilled about Anthony and Elizabeth…….!”

“I started reading FBOFW when I was 10 and I call my mom to talk about the daily comic and oh by the way I love Anthony so much, I wish I could bear his children, Liz is so so so lucky to have him…!”

“Oh, Lynnie darling, you are so gifted! Please, please, I want to buy you a dozen pairs of panties, which you will then return to me, after wearing each pair for a solid week, so I may spend my days sniffing them, basking in your greatness and soaking up your essence…….!”

“Michael is such a great guy, I want to have his baby…….!”

MEGA-BAAAARRRFFFF!!!

Why do I torture myself like this?
I supposed I just love to hate the FOOB……..
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

120 Mountain Mama: no, I wasn’t younger than both my gf and her dad – that would have been TOO creepy even for me. She was 21, I was 36, and I think he was 42 at the time. (To my defence of robbing the cradle, she was often more insightful than me, and always very mature for her age. She broke it off after 3 years saying I wasn’t good for her… and she was right. We’re still good friends though.)
Mountain Mama
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

As to how Cassandra would sound, I defer to Jamus, or Mr. Weber himself.

As for myself, I hear a young Elizabeth Taylor. Just MHO.
Les
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

The in-law in Pluggers seems obvious to me. I mean, everybody that has kids will one day (hopefully) see them age. But Pluggers aren’t everybody, they’re a specific kind of person. Specifically, they’re heterosexual and have hetero children.

An alternate caption for that panel, “Pluggers have straight children that call them (and if they had gay children, they don’t speak to them).”

Plugger family values means marrying off your daughters and disowning the queers.
Girl Reporter
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Doonsbury had a Plugger phone today, too:

http://www.uclick.com/client/sea/db/
Mountain Mama
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Niall: Apparently I did not read your post correctly. That makes more sense. I’m still math-impaired, though.

Do not worry about “robbing the cradle.” I truly think age makes no difference; it’s what’s in the heart that matters. If you two were happy together, even for a brief time, that’s the important thing.

The man I consider “the love of my life”? (Looooong story.) He’s about five weeks younger than my dad. Never mattered. Ever.
Moss_Moses
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

BULL’S WIDOW, KATHY MALONE, HAD NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH THIS CRIME. NO ONE ELSE WAS INVOLVED AND YOU CAN TELL ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE OFFICER SERGEANT STEVE MCQUEEN, AS SOON AS YOU CALL YOUR EDITOR FROM WOODS AND WILDLIFE MAGAZINE, BILL ELLIS, BACK.

Could Western Union telegraph it any better? As inept and lazy as the cops are, why would they believe the cockamamie story from a vigilante who talks to dogs as though they comprehend English?
Ooten Aboot
January 3rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

26 Ararmael: No Google? AARP used to be called the American Association of Retired Persons. Now it’s just AARP and they’ll take anybody 50 or over. You pronounce each letter, like CIA, FBI, SEC, KGB etc.

AARP’s Canadian counterpart is CARP, which can be pronounced like the fish – or the verb meaning to find fault with or complain about anything and everything.
Zaq
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: I can think of OTHER reasons why he would instruct Niki to turn off his phone. Rex isn’t into coitus interruptus… or whatever the hell you call being texted in the middle of hot hot pederastic monkey-love.

Pluggers: This isn’t any more relevant to today’s Pluggers than any other day’s, but has “Plugger” ever been given a short and sweet definition? Or do we just have this huge list of qualities to which we have to apply inductive reasoning? Will this be on the test? It’s been years since I studied logic, and I never liked inductive reasoning to begin with.

Pearls Before Swine: Usually I like PBS. But then, usually they don’t use jokes that were new and funny in ‘95 or ‘96. Is this PBS or Drabble?

Crankshaft: All together now, say it with me: Jesus Christ, Ed Crankshaft is Such an Asshole. Amen.

Family Circus: Maybe we can parlay this into a good thing. I bet there are judges out there who would rule snapping Billy’s little neck as he goes into the fourteenth or fifteenth chorus of “Jingle Bells” around March or April as justifiable homicide. It’ll be rough until then, but I’d be willing to pay that price.

Mallard Fillmore: Um, even taking your lame-ass pun at face value, wouldn’t the wish mean that you don’t have any PROBLEM with returning things? You know, “happy” returns? I mean, of course he’s just making a terrible pun to begin with… stick to drinking and driving, Tinsley. At least you have experience with that, whereas I don’t think you’ve ever laughed in your sad, self-loathing life.

Blondie: Blondie’s usual author is out sick today. Filling in will be the acclaimed AJGLU3K. Sorry, your tickets will not be refunded. Please direct any complaints to Tom Batiuk, who will respond by painting stunning visual pictures of you and all your loved ones with an unbelievably wide array of cancers.

Marvin: Oh ho! It’s funny because dogs can’t get their own food and often have to ask for it by whining and/or carrying their food dish around! It’s almost as funny as when I first saw it in a Peanuts strip from the 1950s! Wait, no it isn’t.

Luann: Anyone else get the impression that Luann’s author (can’t be bothered to look ‘em up) got on a heated argument on a message board about which was the best Little Golden Book ever, and this is his scathing indictment of the anti-Poky Little Puppy faction writ large in a public forum? I can swallow Luann more easily if I imagine that it’s all a spiteful, self-important retort that would fit in better on a Livejournal than the comics page. Well, not really, but it gives it at least pity humor.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Please do not say “swallow” and “Luann” in close proximity ever again unless context also includes a large predator.
Keg of Curd
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Whoops! Anonymity is fun, but in this case was not intended.
Zaq
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

Can I say “In other news, a large swallow smacked into Luann’s face today, mistaking her glassy stare for a window?”

How about if I provide a picture?

(How about if one of YOU wants to provide a picture, since I can’t even draw bath water? Please?)
Talking Squirrel
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

MT: Another recycled plot twist two months a-gettin’ here, and now telegraphed two months before the denouement.

The floatplanes piling in and out of Luke Wilson’s backwater mansion are clearly trafficking in cocaine-stuffed tuna provided by that taxidermist down in Key West. He must have won an early release by having the narcotraficantes bribe Judge Parker.

Meanwhile in the adjacent strip, Mary Worth is growing weed in her apartment and Trail turns a blind eye. I think he covets her wooden beagle and wants her to go to prison so he can adopt it from the animal shelter.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

I gave my nephew – or rather, my brother, his dad – the Treasury of Little Golden Books that was read to all of us siblings as kids. It’s in French, but that matters little – the illustrations are the main points. And those sparked a lifelong love of design and cartooning in me, and so I could not think of a better gift for a young child.

And frankly, I think I like those much better than any modern sanitized psychological-committee-approved children’s books found far too easily today.
Mooncattie
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

#132 – Yikes! I turn 50 in 5 days, and I suddenly feel every minute of it. Time to buy a wall phone, I guess.

DT – Perhaps it’s a bypass! You have to build bypasses!

GT – “spreading the ball around“?? ewwww….
Meanwhile, the men’s team depends on that smirky Bad Boy Andrew Gregory, and you just know he hangs out with Bill Haley and those other Comet punks.
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

39

King Kong
I guess we got it wrong.
The idea is to leaveyou in stitches.

Sorry.

44
Cog

50
Gold Digging Nanny
Thanks for the explication of the explanation several threads back.
Perhaps a retcon will make by the DT guys/gals will make you
right?

Would that mean that she was not taking herself too seriously?

Ha! I kill me!

61 Mibbitmaker
That bowling joke was right up my alley. Since I have my mind in the gutter, that would strike me as funny. I’d best split….
Oh I give up. Punsters Anonymous, where are you?
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

Preview
Preview
Preview
darn
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

Preview
Preview
Preview
darn
Jim
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

FW: Someone help me out here: is Les subtly lusting after his daughter since she reminds him so much of his late wife? How soon until we get into the incest/pedophilia storyline, Batuik?
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

No snark, just a shout out to say really truly folks watch “The secret of of Roan Inish.” Lovely subtle film.
Jamus The Bartender
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

106. I always pictured Cassandra sounding…and acting…like Brittany Murphy. They’re both kinda wound up.
Kumquat
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

#143 Jim – I think it’s more that Les, having no particularly close family besides his daughter, became accustomed to seeing the two of them as a unit, so he’s not dealing very well with the onset of adolescence and Summer’s resulting interest in becoming an independent person.

Also, he didn’t have a social life in high school, so he has no idea how to deal with the fact that his daughter does.
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

80
Big Sims
Happy bday again.
I am older than my father in law and I would bet real money that he is gonna call me when (if, actually) he joins AARP.

102
Joe Btfsplk
Into The West is a great movie like Roan Inish>
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

80
Big Sims
Happy bday again.
I am older than my father in law and I would bet real money that he is gonna call me when (if, actually) he joins AARP.

102
Joe Btfsplk
Into The West is a great movie like Roan Inish>
ltrftp Hedly
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

Re post 140
This part was for Cog
Referring to post 44

Would that mean that she was not taking herself too seriously?

Ha! I kill me!
F. Cecious Lee
January 3rd, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

AARP jokes are not funny. No Way. They torment us kids and send us invitations to join a group of retirees. I’ve got 365 days (leap year figured in) before I get my invite, and I’m not looking forward to it. I’ve got 11 years before little Sarcassti C. Lee finishes college. I can’t retire before then.

On the other hand, in 11 years Neddy will still be going to the Paris CC art school, and Abbey will still be hot.
Frank Parsnip
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

The main problem with Dick Tracy is that although Dick Locher is nominally in charge of the strip, it reads as if every day he used the ideas or submissions of different people based purely on the chronological order of their received emails, letters or telegrams. Apparently he just doesn’t credit them a-la-Pluggers or TDIET, which is too bad because at least even if we aren’t enjoying the convoluted plots we mudgeonites could see if he were using ideas we submitted.

For example, in the most recent plot knot, he apparently combined advice to “have some sort of haunted house event” with “celebrities” with a “construction crew outside” and a “crazy hostage-taking guy inside”. And then the magic was supposed to just happen.

How, you might ask, is it possible that in the previous DT plot knot there was so much repetition? Simple. When Locher gets duplicate submissions, he simply uses them in the chronological order in which they arrive on his desk. Thus, there may have been a single devoted fan of taxis or perhaps even a taxi-devotee club that kept making requests along the lines of “please show the Baron riding in a cab”. Sometimes these alternated with input such as “show sexy Gretchen running towards a Federal building” and “wouldn’t it be nice if there was a building in D.C. simply called ‘the Rotunda’?”

With that in mind, I’m going to start writing to Locher to make my own repeated suggestions involving a series of unique deaths for villains — blimp accident, fucked to death, left paralyzed in a warehouse to be eaten by feral chihuahuas, and so on. Oh, and I’ll also re-use some of my failed submissions to Scaduto sent in the final days before he passed on — don’t be surprised if several weeks pass with DT suffering minor annoyances at the hands of someone called Catastra or a child called Hekkie. If DT has some severe clogged toilet trouble, you’ll know Locher used my failed Pluggers ideas.
Niall
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

Thanks for suggestions on Cassandra voices… The voice of Gloria for Cassie seems so far the most fitting. No casting on Slylock?

150 – I love the names you chose, Mr. Lee, for you and your child. :)
Uncle Lumpy
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

Reading Dick Tracy, I console myself by believing Dick is a real, self-aware person trapped by cruel circumstance to live out his days in an unpredictable, insane comic strip. Those looks of baffled horror are real, as he confronts his fate again, and struggles in vain to make his lips form the words, “p – p – please k – kill me: please.”

Frank, I think your scenario would bring the poor man sweet, sweet relief.
AhClem
January 3rd, 2008 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

#125 Joe -
Those letters are so sappy and saccharine that it makes me want to upchu … umm, wait a minute …

“Oh, Lynnie darling, you are so gifted! Please, please, I want to buy you a dozen pairs of panties, which you will then return to me, after wearing each pair for a solid week, so I may spend my days sniffing them, basking in your greatness and soaking up your essence…….!”

Paging Mr. Fable! Is this one of yours?

#133 Zaq -
Pluggers are (a) old, (b) fat, (c) stupid, (d) poor, or (e) all of the above.
Buck Ripsnort
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

152– Niall, Slylock doesn’t talk. Ever. He just stares at you with those big, round eyes until you break down and confess. And Cassandra could ONLY be played by the immortal Eartha Kitt.

And does “Secret of Roan Inish” star Sean Connery, or am I thinking of “Darby O’Gill”?
Deena in OR
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Those who click on my name might see an Oregon Trumpeter Duckling, if they’re curious.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

Cassandra Cat would be voiced by Kim Cattrall.
Dub Not Dubya
January 3rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

128 Les: I ~~Photosh~~ found that Pluggers with the alternate caption for you:

http://members.cox.net/blogpicsaddy3/nopluggerkid.jpg

Made me sad to do it, of course. It would be more fun (and easy with the word balloon right there) to give an illustration of what passes for a Plugger obscene phone call. Any takers?
Dingo
January 4th, 2008 at 12:01 am [Reply]

That Chester’s head is amazing. At one moment, it’s twice the size of Mary’s hand and the next, when she touches it, it shrinks to half that or less. Then again, there’s a part of me that would do the same. That Chester is such a dick.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
January 4th, 2008 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I can’t decide whether Margo Magee should be portrayed by Joan Crawford (scary) or Vivien Leigh (Scarlet). At any rate Tommy and Luann should be played by Vivian Vance and Lucille Ball.
True Fable
January 4th, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

#154 Ah Clem – Ahahaha, NO! :D But I would not be surprised to find that sort of sentiment over at the Coffee Squawk, where they like to bludgeon unsuspecting passers-by with clubs made entirely of frozen glurge.

The Surge in Glurge gives me the Urge to Purge!
cpinc
January 4th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

FOOB has to be the most annoying strip of all time … if there was a god the roof of that house would have collapsed on all of them during the holiday dinner. Now that would have been a Christmas miracle.
Starrynight
January 4th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

#138 Niall– I completely agree with you about modern children’s books. I saw a horrifying version of “The Velveteen Rabbit” at Target a few months ago. It was so sanitized it was frightening. “Scarlet fever” had become “bad germs.” Guess the publishers don’t think modern children can handle reading the actual name of a disease. GMAFB
True Fable
January 4th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

FBoFW Good Lord. The face in the last panel must be a JOKE. That is ONE UGLY FUCKING LEAD CHARACTER!

So who knew Elly would grow up to look like Grampa Chinnuts in a wig? And why doesn’t Lynn want to use some of that Photoshop stuff she mentions, and improve Elly’s potato nose or pluck some of those caterpillers over her eyes? If there is anyone out there who actually WANTS to closely identify with Elly, let’s hope for the sake of humanity it is because by comparison they would look ten times better than a cartoon character.

For the sake of aesthetics i sincerely hope Lynnie decides to give Elly an Extreme Makeover. Do something positive for the old girl.

Naaaaw. Like Cathy, she banks on giving her audience someone to pity.
fishmorgjp
January 4th, 2008 at 12:31 am [Reply]

FOOB = SAPPY. Uber-Sappy. FOOBer-Sappy. The characters are repellently sappy to behold. You just know the pod people took over in that strip ages ago.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Now, if I were to re-do the recent few weeks of Dick Tracy action, the strips would go something like this:

1. Dick pulls away the portrait, declaring that this talking to a painting has gone on “long enough”. Tess points out that at the breakfast table, she can’t get him to say two words … BUT set said flatfoot down at painting front and nobody can stop this chatterbox. (THE URGE –> to knock him through a painting.)

2. Stream of bulldozers headed towards mansion house in the middle of the night. SWAT team leader points out that he can’t get a construction crew to finish his new house addition … BUT guess who comes right when you don’t need them? The construction team leader wryly notes with a Winkerbeanish smirk that you can never find a cop when you need one … BUT the one time in your life you actually show up to do construction work on an “urgent” basis there’s a zillion of them trying to stop you. (The URGE –> to fix that Swat team leader’s new addition with sub-standard materials.)

3. Son of the previous owner of the mansion points a gun at the head of the governor and tells him that if he doesn’t return the mansion then he’ll have to jump. Apparently the gun is now just a superfluous prop because the son doesn’t feel it’s necessary to say “… and if you don’t jump, I’ll shoot you somewhere painful and/or fatal.” HOW CUM the one time you try to force a politician to jump off a roof, that part of the roof just falls away?!? (The URGE —> to find the fix-it guy who last worked on the roof and fix his wagon!)

4. “The whole house is coming down!” shouts a “celebrity”. 2nd and 3rd panels consist of a big manimal bear fixing the roof with the captions: “Chewing gum is also known as Plugger glue” and “When a Plugger talks about rewiring his house, he’s talking about baling wire”.

5. “Good grief! The son didn’t make it! I wanted him alive!” says Tracy, peering at some feet sticking out from enormous bulldozer treads. From the inside of the tread mechanisms comes the words: “Why?” indicating that the son is actually just very badly hurt and capable of self-pitying speech. Final panel: big fat manimal rhino construction worker shown lifting up the crushed body of the former-mansion-owner’s son and kissing the boo-boos with the caption: “Love is often the best medicine a Plugger can administer in huge toilet-stopping doses.”

6. “Dick, I thought you were in danger!” says Tess. “Not really, I was just enjoying an open house,” says Dick, pointing at the ruins of the mansion and smirking. Meanwhile, the son of the former mansion owner is making a series of videotapes for his children to watch when they get older in the few minutes before his massive injuries take him away. Each coming-of-age milestone gets about one pithy remark accompanied by a lot of pained wincing.

7. “Hey was that murder of J. Tucker Moneybags ever solved?” asks Dick. Lt. Tivo responds back that the murder had been “attributed” to the son. Oddly, the mansion’s deed had been transferred to the governor only minutes before the body of J. Tucker Moneybags had been discovered … also by the governor. “Consider this case closed!” says Dick. Now the governor gets to have a Winkerbeanesque smirk.

8. “Hey gov, why did you buy this old mansion?” asks Dick. HOW CUM the one time you buy a huge landmark mansion, they decide to put a highway right through the middle of it?!? (The URGE –> to put a wrecking ball where the sun don’t shine!”)
Anonymous
January 4th, 2008 at 12:39 am [Reply]

# 151 — Frank, your comment has left me almost giddy. Finally, an explanation that makes sense! Or as much sense as DT is ever going to make. I may send in a suggestion that some villain be tied to a chair in front of a TV in Iowa during caucus season and forced to watch political ads until his head explodes. Good luck, New Hampshire — it’s your turn now.
Poteet
January 4th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

Hey, Anonymous in # 167 was me. I hope that was a one-time fluke.
Deena in OR
January 4th, 2008 at 12:47 am [Reply]

Re: Doonesbury-

So, have we actually met Mark’s new partner yet? The last I remember seeing, he was still recovering from Chase.
bats :[
January 4th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

TGIFunnies!

A3G: “Not if I kill you tonight!”

FC: Oh, well done, Dolly. A one-year-old is now on the same developmental level as you are! Is it any wonder that you make Mommy cry?

FW: should people in their 40s look this drugged up/depressed/exhausted IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?

JP: “What was that noise, Abby?”
“The window of opportunity closing. No, wait…the window of opportunity slamming shut.”

MW: Inside, her heart is breaking.
No, not really. Inside, Mary is planning some insidious plot to eliminate “Thomas”…

RMMD: ah, the ebullience of youth!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2164545553/

FOOB: you wish PhotoShop were a miracle cure:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2164588121/
Joe Btfsplk
January 4th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

#148 ltrftp Hedly – Haven’t seen it yet. But it sounds good. Thanks.

Comics on the Chron site have been very buggy for me today. The main page comes up OK, but a lot of the links yield either a blank page (Firefox) or a page of gibberish (Opera). Some which were working earlier today are glitched again now. I don’t know what happens with IE, ‘cuz I run Ubuntu, and need a better reason than this to go through the long process of starting up Windows. Anyway…

Luann – One of the garbled ones for me today. I don’t read this one often anyway, as it seems to have a lot of backstory with which I am unfamiliar. I gather that there is currently some discussion of Little Golden Books going on there. Whatever they may say about The Poky Little Puppy one way or the other is OK I guess. But know that anyone dissing The Seven Sneezes will have to deal with me.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

167/168 Poteet: The old expression “a camel is a horse designed by committee” came to mind while reading through the recent DTs, which got me thinking about this. After all, while TDIET and Pluggers work fine with submissions limited to just one panel a day and no expectations of continuity (other than tortured grammar and 1950s-era office equipment in TDIET and incredible obesity in Pluggers), what would happen to a daily “soap opera” strip if each day’s comic relied upon the submissions of random strangers? And then I realized that this could be a real answer.
Poteet
January 4th, 2008 at 1:10 am [Reply]

# 172 — Yes, Frank, and your idea explains so much, like why bulldozers would head for a mansion with total disregard for whether it was occupied, and why no one would be aware that a superhighway was about to be constructed. Truly, I feel better now.
mumbles
January 4th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

JP: I hear ya, Abby. Good looking Ivy League law grad sacrifices legs for country, then sacrifices high-paying job to take care of sick mother. BO-RING. What a harsh buzz you got off those brownies, bitch.

(DT)GT: Hyunh? (scratches head). As randomly put together as this strip has appeared in the past, this has to rank among the weirdest.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

173 Poteet: Now we just have to act on it. Locher’s address at the Chicago Trib site is TRACYHQ@aol.com. Although it may be hard for the time being to score a TDIET coup until a new cartoonist is brought in, provided we share info about our planned submissions so that we know who is suggesting what, we can just sit back and look for them to appear in DT’s zany adventures. I’m going to suggest that DT kill a villain dressed as an enormous jack-in-the-box with a handful of extra-sharp chisel-tip Swingline staples. What are you going to suggest?
Poteet
January 4th, 2008 at 1:27 am [Reply]

# 175 — Ooh! Ooh! Excellent concept, Frank! I’ll have to cogitate and come up with something interesting. Maybe I’ll have a usable dream tonight. Though having a villain run around in a panic because he forgot to enroll in a college class and has suddenly realized he’s naked is probably not a good suggestion.
Dingo
January 4th, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

last post before shutting down computer, tearing it apart, and sending it off to Pennsylvania

MacBarker Park, or, Someone Left My Cake Out in the Rain and Now It’s Dough on Both Sides

Mary sat on the bench. Chester, or “Ralphie” as the man on the phone had called him, gently licked his testicles beside her. Mary watched in fascination. The event was both surreal and Freudian. If Mary could raise her leg in that fashion and lick her own private parts, she could revive vaudeville and tour the countryside as the opening star of the second act. It also reminded her of the Austrian doctor’s notions of envy. Many found Mary to be a stern headmistress of discipline but she’d never master this penile system.

The man had said to meet him at 10AM. It was now 10:02. Why, she thought, should I give this dog back to a lazy man? At the least, someone was due umbrage.

Chester finished his delicate business and looked up at Mary. His gaze seemed all-knowing as though the small beagle was the reincarnation of the Buddha or perhaps a third-rate actress with a history of casting couches. He gazed at Mary and in his eyes he saw how much she cared for him, loved him, and wanted nothing more than to drive her car over young celebutantes leaving Club Hyde and have him bark along with her high-pitched cackle of joy. But this, like Jennifer Lopez’ Academy Award, was not to be. Soon his owner would be back to collect him and Mary would be alone with her sorrows, her self-pity, and an unattended yeast infection.

It was fast approaching 10:03 and the hackles on Mary’s neck were rising higher than Condileeza Rice’s voice during oral pleasure with the Commander in Chief. Suddenly, Mary heard footsteps behind her. Chester, or “Ralphie,” barked furiously. As Mary turned to see who stood behind her, to her surprise she saw Dr. Drew Cory.

“Well, if it isn’t my li’l bastard and my father’s bitch.” he said. Chester ran to him and lept into his arms as if he were an Orange County housewife and Cory was the pornstar poolboy.

Mary stood in disbelief. She also stood in disarray. This was due to a bout of dysentery brought on by the stress of losing Chester. Now, seeing him licking Dr. Drew like an aging dowager with fresh young cock, she feigned disinterest.

I’ll finish this later.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

OK… I’ve sent mine in:

Dear Mr. Locher,

I am a huge fan of Dick Tracy and was wondering if you sometimes use reader ideas in the shaping of your story lines. In looking through the “rogues’ gallery” of villains, I was thinking that you haven’t had anybody yet who looks like a big jack-in-the-box — someone who would be deceptively small looking (”shrimpy” even!) but who is able to basically expand outwards to lunge with a knife or other weapon. Like a guy with a Napoleon complex who is able to do something about it!

Also, noting that Dick often makes creative use of weapons to kill off the villains, I was thinking that a sharp strip of chisel-pointed staples (i.e., the sort used in a normal stapler) would do the trick if gripped the right way. I’ve nipped my fingers once or twice while fumbling about for office supplies, and I was thinking it would be a great desperation weapon for Dick Tracy to use. They’d never see it coming!

all the best,
Rainbird
January 4th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

GT OK, so I suppose people where it snows would understand “Salt Eats Cars” in Fridays strip, but I looked at it and said, “Where does the “t” go? What?”

And do they really have signs like that? What is the point? So you don’t drive when they salt the roads?
Rainbird
January 4th, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

175 Frank Parsnip so not just a random submission per strip, but per panel. That would seem about right for the craziness that is Dick Tracy.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 1:59 am [Reply]

180 Rainbird: I think that’s pretty much how the action is determined — some cab afficionado writes in five times that he’d like to see the “baron” riding in a cab somewhere, and by gum that’s what he’s going to get!
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Dingo, you just made the milk come out my nose again. Safe travels to Pennsylvania.
True Fable
January 4th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

A3G The Three Faces of Margo.
BC Still enjoyable! This is a record!
C’haft Good GRIEF, this is depressing. Batiuk must be deliriously happy.
Curtis More Kwanzaa coolness. Today the wife has turned into a water buffalo, which is really going to get Theif Dude in hot water if he even TRIES to pick on her later. “What did you call me, buster?!?” “But…but you ARE a buffalo, honey!”
DtM Why Toasted Flakes of Cow Pies never caught on with consumers.
(WT)DT More like, “conflict of any kind of fucking sense”, Dick.
FC So you mean being totally annoying is not an inherited trait in this family, it must be carefully taught?
FBoFW Retired at 55, comfortably set for life in a happy marriage to a dullard who lets her do whatever she wants, three kids who don’t give her any REAL trouble and a nice home all paid for, Elly chooses to whine about how a life of eating Greaseburgers and Tuna Cassaroles and Apple Pie before large meals, has turned her into Ben Franklin in the last panel. Worse, she looks just like Grampa Chinnuts. UGH.
GA Why in the hell would Skeezix give a damn that Joel and Rufus don’t know where he’s going on vacation? How’d he ever get out of that “forced digging under the street” scheme anyway? Damn it, I wasn’t going to read this shit anymore.
(DT)GT I spent too much time figuring out today’s strip. I need help, this is a sickness.
JP HA! Sam, I hope you fuckin’ EXPLODE from blueballs, it would serve you right! You WASTED the opportunity to jump her during dinner, you WASTED the opportunity to be her very personal loofah in the tub – dammit, she’s sleepy, you missed your chance and I’m going to point and laugh at you. HAHAHA, you dickweed!
Luann Luann describes most Luann storylines!
MT It’s only appropriate that “Fixin’ to Die Blues” ran through my mind when I read today’s strip.
BigDog Did you read this as, “Same old, same old” or “Same old shit”?
Marvin Sure. Keep tellin’ yourself that, kid.
MW I wonder if this Thomas guy will turn out to be an immaculately groomed, successful retired businessman who will rival Dr. Jeff for Mary’s wrinkled, meddling charms? In a way I kind of hope Mary will be all a-twitter and we’ll have a sort of Aldo-esquely unusual MW storyline. But in another way, maybe he’s just inviting her to the Hudson Dog Park so he can toss her in the pit and have her fight another bitch. The little terrier named Margo might fight her for dominence on the comics page!
MG&G More GOAT!!! Boy, this has been a great week, hasn’t it?
Phantom Wait, is he going to punch one of them to leave the mark, or are they supposed to remember what it looks like? I’m confused.
RMMD Niki subtly tells us that Rex’s reasoning stinks.
The BM of Edison Lee I’ve noticed that everything this little genius tries his hand at, fails miserably because he’s actually clueless and is just an ordinary kid who’s got his parents and his cartoonist snowed.
Monkey David
January 4th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

Usually, when a comic mentions technology–especially one of the old comics–it’s painful to behold. But Dagwood’s Tivo frustrations were actually authentic, and pretty funny…(I’d watch an Extreme Pizza Makeover show).
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 2:56 am [Reply]

Funky Pantysniffer: Things aren’t “funky” at the Winkerbean household after Cory’s party? Get a UV light and a frickin’ clue.

Sex Organ, M.D.: Niki’s sniffing that funky finger. My Spanish is a bit rusty, but I recall that they have a word for deperate criminals who have nothing to lose. Oh, yeah, desperados.

Jugs Parker: Nice cleavage in panel 1, nice parted lips in panel 3. And yet this is going nowhere. Good for Sam that he has no sex drive whatsoever. Now we’ll have 3 weeks of the Crone.

A3G: Yes, Margo, I’m leaving in the morning for China — we can spend the night here in the gallery I love so much. Have you ever made love on top of a Matisse? And, hey, half the stray marks on that Pollock weren’t his!

Spider-Man: Turn the last panel on the side and the Persuader suddenly looks like a Plugger awkwardly trying to set up a hammock outdoors. In retrospect, I would have had a lot more respect for S-M if they had simply called this villain “The Plugger”, given how obese and non-muscly he turned out to be.
dale
January 4th, 2008 at 4:02 am [Reply]

179 – Rainbird 1/4 GilThorp

Salt is bad for your car. Bring it in to our carwash and get it (the salt) off. Potential joke there.

The photo op has nothing to do with a post-game interview. It’s just one of those apparently rare situations in life where if you had a camera, you could take a picture of something.

In panel 2 the blonde is not driving the bus. The rectangles are headrests, not windows.
Even if the seatbelts let you sit like that, would you want to be driving with someone, no matter how “close”, sitting behind your shoulder?
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
January 4th, 2008 at 6:20 am [Reply]

Len,

RE: This is not the first time Ashley has worn a long tunic with a cross emblazoned on the front.

There’s a story behind why Ashley wears what she does, but it’s long and not that interesting. It has nothing to do with symbolism though, just with some poor drawing skills on my part. ;)

Niall,

When Mel gets done with another project she’s currently working on, we’re going to do some merchandising. A calender was discussed, but it wouldn’t be the one Norm has on his wall. Sorry.
gleeb
January 4th, 2008 at 6:25 am [Reply]

BC: I remember this same gag being used in Non Sequitur some years ago, only Wiley drew an eight-sided snowflake for some reason.

Curtis: A buffalo sculpted by Henry Moore.

Doonesbury: BD seems to have really taken “Don’t ask, don’t tell” to heart.

‘bean: He’s just pissed that they found his secreted booze.

H&J: Jamaal’s dad was WC Fields?

Rex: To calm himself, Niki plays the old “You must pay the rent”, melodrama in his head.
Doug Puthoff
January 4th, 2008 at 7:00 am [Reply]

(Oops, posted this on the wrong entry.)

I wonder what Stan Lee is going to do with Peter and MJ’s marriage now that–in the comics–Spidey has made a deal with devil and his marriage with MJ never happened–the stupidest thing any comic book company has ever done. If there is any justice in the world, Joe Quesada, the man responsible for this comic book train wreck, will wind up drawing “Gil Thorp.”
Little Guy
January 4th, 2008 at 7:48 am [Reply]

TDiET: Yes, yes! The Truth comes out. Scaduto was killed by the presence of ugly-ass nurses. shakes fist DAMN YOU, FLORENCE FUGLYGALE!!!

JP: Sam Driver has to donate his penis. Now. There are men overseas who do not havethe benefit of Viagra.

Curtis: I bet she gives birth to O.J.
mere cog in the machine
January 4th, 2008 at 8:07 am [Reply]

156 Deena: I used to spend summers in Oregon as a teenager. We would alternate between Lake Oswego and a place called Black Butte Ranch, near Bend. Coming from grimy, urban Philadelphia, it was like a different world. Definately the most beautiful state I’ve visited.
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

#183 – you wrote
“Elly chooses to whine about how a life of eating Greaseburgers and Tuna Cassaroles and Apple Pie before large meals”

Methinks Elly has morphed into the Curtis Kwanzaa buffalo.

FW – Lying in a pool of sick, as Bubble from AbFab would say.

FC – Dolly is teaching PJ to do the same thing when he’s fifteen. Trash everything and try to make it look adorable and cute, kids.
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

MW – Mary’s speech bubble in panel 2 belies her true sense of relief and narcissism simultaneously.
She’s really thinking “This week of the Dog has made me look ultra-virtuous, but now I can hit Thomas up for the three hundred I pissed out of my inheritance at that pet clinic up the road, plus another hundred for a bed and Economy Brand kibble, and move on to another round of meddling that won’t be so hard on my biddy bones….phew.”
Joe
January 4th, 2008 at 8:53 am [Reply]

FOOB: That’s right, SmElly. Photoshop your face away. You can lose 40 lbs alone if you cut off your nose. Now make yourself feel better with a hot greasy-drip tuna-mac garbage burger and butter-tarts. Just before lunch, of course.
willethompson
January 4th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

FOOB: PhotoShop is a punchline? A PUNCHLINE? What next? Mark Trail dispatching a bewhiskered villain with his Autorepair tool? Making Abbey Spencer’s breasts even more protuberant by using a Sphereize filter? Oh, wait, wait, how about Dick Tracy saying that the bulldozer ‘flattened’ the evildoer’s ‘layers!’ BWAHAHA, this is comic gold!
Islamorada Girl
January 4th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Most surprising crossover: KwanzaaKurtis’ buffalo baby meets Pluggers!
Girl Randolph
January 4th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

RE: Niall and #163 Starrynight

Children’s lit has always been flush with didactic and lame contributors. This is not new. What we consider appropriate changes, but the idea that children’s lit should be sanitary and good for them doesn’t.

TVR and other classics are considered so because they stood the test of time. There’s no need to buy crappy children’s books these days. And no need to stick only to the classics. There are so many great children’s authors writing now. Madonna is not one of them.

Sometimes a bad book can be just as good for a child if the child enjoys it. One person’s Cathy can be another person’s Peanut’s.
Steve
January 4th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: I don’t understand Sam Driver. The night before Abbey went to Paris (several months ago in comic strip time) they were alone without kids and Abbey was smoldering, with a 1000 watt let’s get it on look and Sam lets that opportunity pass by making campaign calls for Randy. He has done it again, making a phone call, that could have waited till the next day at his office, when he could have been in the tub with Abbey. What a waste.
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

#197 – One thing my parents, being writers and prolific readers, never ever did, was to deny me ANY source of reading material. I also attended Montessori school, which gve lots of liberty to pubications and reading with little or no censorship.
I think they trusted that we could filter things in a relatively healthy manner and discuss stuff if we wanted or needed to – I think this is one of the first ways to hand over responsibility to children.
Comics Bear
January 4th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Though the MargoBot conceit is certainly cute, I prefer to read this as regular Margo, with the upshot that her panel one comment is positively dripping with sarcasm. In fact, it should probably have little icicles dangling from the bottom of the word balloon to indicate the intensity of her haughty disdain at having her competence questioned. Her response: a snide ‘of course’, albeit in so many words.

Of course, she *is* smiling as she says it. So maybe that robot theory of yours has some merit to it after all.
Len
January 4th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

#182 — Frank! Who taught you to lactate?

You’re doing it WRONG!
Guest_question
January 4th, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

OK–we’ve determined that most cultures have legends of shapeshifters, whether seal or buffalo.

But–what about Plugger folklore? Do any Plugger wives have human skins hidden away, which they don to frolic under the moonlight? Does the occasional Plugger husband terrorize the neighborhood as a Were-Human?
gkl
January 4th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Not shown today is the cherry-picker needed to hoist the morbidly obese Plugger onto the telephone pole. Or the crane needed to right the cherry-picker when it fell over due to the imbalance caused by the morbidly obese Plugger.

TDIET: Yep, medicine went to hell the moment the nurses went from black-and-white to color.

GT: Which will she choose? Basketball or photojournalism? And who gives a flying bag of sliced potatoes that escaped the fryers at the Lay’s plant?

(and 179: I think the point is that the body shops would warn you that salt eats cars, so bring them into their shops to protect and/or repair. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one in 31 years in the upper Midwest, but that makes, after far too much thought, a sort of quasi-logic to me. Given that this is GT, ‘a sort of quasi-logic’ is the best we’re gonna get.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 4th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

1/4

9CL: Yeah, this is a lot more interesting than watching Francis and Diane find out if they’re going to be parents. Hey, why do people avoid Thorax anyway?

FW: This has been a reminder that “Funky Winkerbean” is a goofy name. We thank you for your attention.

WofI: C’mon, who doesn’t get giddy drinking sparkling cider? All those bubbles.

BC: Nice sight gag with Grog.

JP: So Sam, for the first time in decades, is expressing sexual interest in his wife. And she’s about to fall asleep on him? Haha. Payback’s a bitch, White Shoes.

RMMD: Niki touches his lip when Rex talks about having “a head start.” There’s a time and a place for innuendo, guys.

TDIET: Posthumous kudos to Al Scaduto! Finally, someone draws contemporary nurse’s scrubs in all their patterned glory. Meanwhile the thought balloon contains a nurse as she’d appear in Mark Trail, Mary Worth, et al.

SFx: I think the chief difference between the two panels is whether the kid is demented or deranged. The rest I leave in Gold Digging Nanny’s capable hands.

GT: A coherent narrative thread running through the three panels. I’m kinda scared.

H&J: Wasn’t Yolanda just moaning about how Jamaal isn’t interested in her? Is there any obstacle here besides mutual obtuseness?

Archie: The AJGLU3000 discovers YouTube, or at least the possibility of a YouTube-like website. Can it explain how Jughead can prove a negative?

Baldo: That stand on your head while smoking a stogy thing seemed rather fun loving.

PBS: Your friend is right, Max. The steroids may build up your bod, but they can also turn the mighty sword into a butterknife.

Luann: Gunther so far seems unlikely to have children of his own. Let’s hope that pattern holds.

C-Shaft: Um, Ed? Who you talking to?

S-M: Tonight, I trap you in some toxic goo/It seems the natural thing to do…

Marvin: Haha. It’s funny because he doesn’t realize his parents hate him.
Bootsy
January 4th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

MW: Christ, is that a chipmunk stuck in a bug zapper in panel one? Hey, leave that to Mark Trail!
Joe
January 4th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

183 True Fable:

The Foobstalk published your letter. Another smackdown! Excellent.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 4th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

A “Plugger” “comic strip” tends to “over-rely” on “puns” that, while sometimes “amusing”, often tend to be a little “obvious”.

Off the top of my head, here are some other possibilities:

Caption: “A Plugger hangover.” Cartoon: Dogbearman’s enormous belly hangs over his belt.

Caption: “A Plugger logging on.” Cartoon: Dogbearman throws a log onto the fire in his fireplace.

Caption: “A Plugger swingers’ party.” Cartoon: Kangarabbit lady is supervising a couple of Plugger kids who are swinging on a children’s swing set in their backyard.

Actually, I’d love to submit that last one, but I don’t think a swingers reference would fly in a family newspaper strip.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 4th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

And on an unrelated note, today’s Jumble admits an alternative solution: perhaps the nuclear scientist was TIARA VOICED, meaning that he spoke as though he were a tiara-wearing princess.
Tweeks_Coffee
January 4th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

A3G: I see Eric’s taking the Dr. Jeff route to announce his trip. What the hell is with all these people springing trips on their loved ones like that?
BC: I don’t know who Mason is, but I certainly hope he keeps doing this strip.
‘Shaft: Is this even supposed to be funny or is it just crushingly depressing?
Curtis: Gasp! Will it be animal or human? If this thing craps out a regular human baby than it may be enough for Curtis to really win me over.
FC: What, how to be an annoying little ass? You’re decades late for that, Dolly.
FW: Cripes, these two look like their delivering their little puns on their deathbeds. I mean, Crazy looks like that joke was uttered with his last breath.
GT: Why? Maybe Jay Leno would use that picture, but a newspaper?
S-M: How did he get a wall in front of Persuader?
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 4th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

#187 Ed Power,

You’re comment about poor drawing skills has me curious. Do you sketch out the characters and situations before Melissa does the finished art? I know of some comic book writers (eg Grant Morrison) who do this, but I don’t know how many people do so in the dailies.
Keg of Curd
January 4th, 2008 at 10:39 am [Reply]

Today’s BC required a non-trivial amount of draftsmanship skills.

Slightly more, you might argue, than the artist actually possessed — but still.

Herb & Jamaal, meanwhile, continues to make it too damned easy. (Previously, on H&J Innuendo (!) Theatre…)
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 4th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

#177 Dingo,

Truly classic. Although my mind will absolutely not allow me to visualize the Mary Worth autocunnilingus part. Small mercies.
Frank Parsnip
January 4th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Ed Cage: I would like to take a moment out to say that the only reason I have not commented on My Cage has been that it is well done and funny. Perhaps in the midst of poking fun at A3G’s plucky gals, Sam Driver’s lack of sex (or sex drive), Rex Morgan’s pedophilic dickishness, or Mary’s likely fate at the hands of pet kidnappers, I don’t get an opportunity to say anything about the strips that I simply enjoy.

By the way, would you ever consider allowing us to send in TDIET-style ideas? With Mr. scaduto’s passing, I think there is some potential…
Darkefang
January 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

A3G: So Eric’s leaving for China, leaving his gallery in the hands of a manager with a single day of training and a short attention span, plus a guy who’s probably in the supply closet right now, huffing paint fumes and airplane glue. My guess is that the gallery has been hemorrhaging money and this is a convoluted plan to collect a surprisingly large insurance settlement.

Crankshaft: Everyone in Crankshaft’s world is dying. Haw-Haw!

Curtis: What’s the moral of the Curtis Kwanzaa story? People who steal my stuff have sex with animals. Also: ~~Cocaine~~ LSD is a helluva drug.

DtM: This is the same thing Rex Morgan said during the gynecological section of his anatomy class in med school.

GT: Yes, by all means, let’s skip all the basketball action and spend our time on the exciting trials and tribulations of the two girls who photograph wackily misspelled signs.

JP: Why waste panels drawing Sam when Abby is wearing a robe?
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 4th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

DtM: This is the same thing Rex Morgan said during the gynecological section of his anatomy class in med school.

Congratulations, Darkefang, in going below and beyond. Many people will not be able to tell their coworkers and loved ones what they were just laughing at.
Allie Cat
January 4th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

FOOB – Elly in the last panel today looked a lot like Shannon.

TDIET – As the daughter of an old-school nurse, I can relate to this . My mother loved her “whites” and cap. She admits that wearing scrubs is akin to working in pajamas, but she’d go back to the white dress and supp hose in a heartbeat.

I used to work in a surgical facility – one nurse had a collection of scrub tops that made me CRINGE. Tweety Bird is great in a kid’s wardrobe, but healthcare professionals may want to take it up a notch – unless you’re in pediatric or veterinary care, leave the theme tops at home.

Mary Worth – Don’t you think they might have exchanged names earlier in the conversation? “You don’t know me, but I want to you to pretend to shoot my alleged dog. Also, what are you wearing?”

Luann – Seriously, I am beginning to hate Luann. I can handle boring Bernice, sassy Delta, stoned Knute, bitchy and even pube-headed Gunther, but Luann has all the appeal of cold hardened oatmeal.

A3G – Margo’s word balloon looks like it has icicles on it. That’s awesome.

FW – St. Barts? Wouldn’t Les know if they had gone out of town? He never would have let Summer go on an unsupervised solo no parents party date. Or, whatever you’d call it.
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

#199 – Check one of my typos – am I referring to Apwil’s inability to go Roadside in 2007, perhaps? Or Mike’s flaccid writing “skills”?

Holy Apple Pie. I need some ice cream. And a vacation.
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

#216 – Haha, Les never would have let the Funky family go to an island if he knew beforehand, due to his codependency (that’s been honed to perfection after his wife’s death). He’s the quintessential prude and controller.
commodorejohn
January 4th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

#138 Niall, #163 Starrynight – preach it. Child psychology killed children’s lit, raped the corpse, and now walks around in the preserved skin. If reading about dragons burning whole towns before being killed didn’t mess me up (The Hobbit, which everybody should read,) it’s not going to do my children any harm when I have kids. Fuck, these people would probably censor A Wrinkle In Time for the descriptions of life on Camazotz. “No, no, they all move in lockstep with each other because they like to!”

A3G – Poor Margo. Now she’ll have to settle for bossing her roommates around to satisfy her control urges.

Crankshaft – Ah ha ha! Death and decay! Hi-larious!

Curtis – Yep, called it. Let’s see what happens.

DT – Hmm, looks like Dick may have just killed an innocent man (big surprise.) “Oh well, them’s the breaks,” he’ll think, walking away after the governor’s confession.

FC – Dolly’s taught PJ to do something that uses up mounds of Kleenex and leaves him grinning dazedly. It’s no Family Zoo, but it’s still pretty hilariously wrong.

FOOB – You’re the simultaneous personification of Lynn’s self-loathing and god complex, Elly. You already look the way you feel.

FW – Yeah, yeah, those no-good teenage hoodlums, blah blah, nothing we haven’t heard a thousand times before. Just in case we hadn’t had enough Winkerbean alcoholism the first time around.

GT – Student newspapers printing trite, irrelevant stuff? Sounds like a scandal to me!

JP – What’s with the camera angles? Is this Battlefield Parker? Still, I can’t argue with all the Abbey on display today.

MT – Mark, being an asexual creature, doesn’t understand how a man could murder another man over a woman. The fact that there is more to the story is pure coincidence.

MW – Mary’s on her way to a mugging.

RMMD – Niki is, of course, right in his assertion that abandoning a completely under-control situation for a drive in what is allegedly a severe rainstorm in hopes that Lee won’t be gone by the time the police get there may not have been the best of ideas (by which I mean that it’s absolutely insane,) but hey, Rex is the “big” and he’s the “little.”
Rainbird
January 4th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

183 True Fable Oh, I love your comment on DtM. I just read it as the same stupid thing he is always saying. Should be comment of the week. :)

184 Monkey David Although I haven’t had quite the same problems with recording my shows, I have had to delete stuff when I haven’t had time to watch it all. Perhaps they have a new writer on the strip?

186 dale Thanks for explaining it. Never having lived in snow country, I couldn’t figure out the point of the sign.

197 Girl Randolph I have heard teachers say time and time again that any reading is better than none at all. Comic books are as good as chapter books. Huntinbyrd is into manga right now, which is just fine by me. I was into comic books at here age. I hated Pokey Puppy, and like Gunther, was a Wild Things reader. Never liked the Velveteen rabbit until I was an adult.
Harold
January 4th, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

Four of Margo’s personalities are shouting “WHAT?!” in unison today.

B.C. is always funnier when characters get hurt.
Rainbird
January 4th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

Does someone else, besides the slave labor that colors most of the other strips, color Bizarro? It always has such subtle coloring, it looks as though it is done professionally.

Just curious, why we don’t get the usual small palett
The Divine O’F
January 4th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE, FRANK PARSNIP EDITION:

151 Frank Parsnip: Brilliant analysis of DT!

and 166: Just as brilliant. Just as funny.

I also love your suggestions to Dick Locher. Will you marry me?
BlinkAndItsOver
January 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

CS: Batiuk is the Marcus Aurelius of the comic strip page. “Of the life of man the duration is but a point, its substance streaming away, its perception dim, the fabric of the entire body prone to decay, and the soul a vortex, and fortune incalculable, and fame uncertain.”

Only smirkier.
Girl Reporter
January 4th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Tomorrow morning at 10?! You mean Right Now just isn’t convenient for you to go get the little buddy you’ve been missing something fierce for days?
UncleJeff
January 4th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

I must have missed the memo but according to the
letters columns in the St. Paul Pioneer-Press, the
P-P is dropping “For Better Or For Worse.”
The letter writers are aghast the “the world’s most
popular comic strip” is being deleted.
I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.
But I will say having FOOB and Winky Funkerbean
next to each other on the comics page this morning presented a bone-chilling horror
for me while I was eating my oatmeal.
gh
January 4th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

#151 Frank Parsnip –

Truly inspired! It’s like you proved the Unified Field Theory.

#177 Dingo –

No one does similes like you. I swoon! And “fast approaching 10:03?” BWAAHAHA! Have fun in PA – we’ll miss your computer!

As for today’s fare, is this “poorly-spaced letters” day? What’s that say in the first panel of RMMD?? It can’t be much farther to the man road? Pul-eeze. And in I?GT, I don’t even want to think what “salteats” are. More evidence of alien morphology, I suppose.
bats :[
January 4th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

True Fable’s letter on Coffee Stalk: wow, sing it!

OTOH, I wonder how many of the Foob acolytes read your letters or just see your name and think “oh, that horrible man is writing again! I don’t understand why they print all those awful things!”. Well, I can dream, can’t I?
Madeline
January 4th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

FOOB: OH MY GOD, I’m 18 and I don’t think 55 is old. My parents are in their fifties and are still pretty hot, if I may say so without sounding creepy. I mean, neither of them are suffering from whatever age-induced nasal malignancy Elly has that is causing her nose to swell to cantaloupe-like proportions. For God’s sake.
commodorejohn
January 4th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

ATTN: True Fable

HOLY SHIT, MAN! That’s gotta be your most scathing CS letter to get printed yet. And not a word of it is untrue or even exaggerated. Bravo. Bravo. I salute you.
commodorejohn
January 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

P.S. Yeah, 55 ain’t old. My mom’s 50, and she still looks fine. But then again, her life doesn’t revolve around FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD.
4EvahFan
January 4th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

FW: So Les is this over-protective parent who was having a stroke at the idea of Summer having a solo car date. His best friend and wife/girlfriend/whatever steal off to the islands and Cory has a trash the house party. Les knows that Summer is going to a party at Cory’s — you would assume he knows his best friend — the parent — is not there. So he won’t let Summer on a solo car date, but he’ll let her go to a New Years Eve bash at a house with the parents out of town? Makes no sense.

FOOB: I don’t think Lynn could make Elly or Connie any uglier if she tried. Connie looks like Chinnuts, Elly looks like she needs to stop peering out of the top of her spectacles and go back underneath the pile of coats on the bed and hope everything turns out better tomorrow.
gnome de blog
January 4th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT: Are we supposed to know who Sal is and why he/she eats cars? Is this a joke? What have I missed? GT is usually so clear and concise that I can’t understand why I don’t get it.

JP: Okay, I’m giving Sam the benefit of the doubt here. Do y’all really think Abby – who can pop $4 mil out of petty cash for a flat in the Seventeenth – would keep him around this long if he was another Rex Morgan?

A3G: Eric’s mysterious brother is Basil St. John. Neither of them are ever coming back.
Paperback Rifler
January 4th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: If Nolan were to sell panel three as a piece of comic art memorabilia, then the title could be, “Rex Morgan: Silent, But Deadly” or “Please, Please, Please Roll Down the Window.”

Judge Parker: My guesses as to what happens next:

1. Abbey is left alone in the bedroom while Sam makes a run next door to visit the Dickenses because he simply has to try those brownies that he’s heard so much about.
2. Abbey is left alone in the bedroom while Sam locks himself in the basement to work on his model ship-in-a-bottle.
3. Abbey is left alone in the bedroom while Sam gets Sophie to show him how to Google Steve Shannon.
4. Abbey is left alone in the bedroom while Sam runs off to meet Steve Shannon right this very minute. The strips for the following month center on Sam’s interaction with Steve’s mother, who alternately will look like Marty Feldman in wide shots and like Marv from Sin City in closeups.

Sadly, what actually will happen next will probably have even less entertainment value than any of the scenarios above. I’m pretty sure about the part about Abbey’s being left alone in the bedroom, though.

Dick Tracy: Geez, none of this talk of shady superhighway shenanigans makes a lick of sense to me. I guess that Dick Locher’s just trying to give Tracy a reason to kill the Governor gruesomely, possibly by cramming the struggling Governor into a bulldozer’s smokestack, pushing the bulldozer off a cliff, and then running over that bulldozer with a much larger bulldozer, which would then explode. Tracy could then give a desultory nod to all that inconvenient “due process” crap by retrieving the Governor’s mangled body, ripping off the Governor’s face with a penknife, and then wearing the ripped-off Governor’s face on Tracy’s own face to fake a full confession to be recorded by a cell phone camera. All that would probably take the strip all the way through summer 2009, what with the slowly proceeding action and the weeks and weeks of Tracy saying over and over that he is not the Governor but is merely wearing the Governor’s ripped-off face on his own face.

Shoe: I personally have never been to an “open mike night,” but I think that one handy trick to know for that sort of performance is not to stop in the middle of a song just so you can hear hecklers make sarcastic comments about a line you just sang. At least, I think that that’s how the pros would say you should handle it.

Speaking of songs, the last gasp of a dying thread seems to me to be a good a place as any for the following. Apologies to the Beach Boys, to everyone who likes “Don’t Worry, Baby” by the Beach Boys, and to everybody everywhere:

Well, it’s been building up to this new point
With Mary’s little stray mutt.
It looks like after paying off the vet,
She will give that dog up.

But you and I can bet
That it’s not over yet;
And we say, “Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary,
Don’t quote Leo Buscaglia . . .
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary . . .”

She got a call, and then she asked for proof that
“Chester” was the dog he sought.
‘Cause she didn’t want to give him up —
Just think of all that crap she bought!

She pointed at his head,
And “Chester” then played dead;
And we say, “Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary,
Or you’ll bore ev’rybody stiff . . .
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary . . .”

I guess she could’ve kept her mouth shut and not
Nailed up signs on poles and trees.
That “Chester” sat through all her platitudes so
Who cares ’bout Jeff’s allergies?

She’ll miss how he said “Arf”
When he chewed up her scarf;
And we say, “Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary,
Or someone will drive off a cliff . . .
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary;
Don’t Meddle, Mary . . .”
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 4th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

BC: Over the Hedge also did this gag recently in a Sunday strip. It’s still funny.

FOOB: Dean Booth, Elly is looking right at you. Bats:[ has failed her.

TDIET: Meta? I know Mr. Scaduto was not supposed to have been aware of CC, but this is just so in line with the past funnin’ about his portrayal of nurses. Was anyone among us one of the “quite a few ol’ time patients”?
True Fable
January 4th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

#227 bats :[ & #230 commodorejohn – I can’t believe they printed it either, and didn’t snip a single comma. It’s like a little island of indignation surrounded by an ocean of glurge with incoming waves of treacle.
dreadedcandiru2
January 4th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

FOOB: You do realize that she’s just doing this to make us pray that we check in on Elizatramp and Awfulny tomorrow, right? In her mind, we’d be soooo relieved not to have to look at Elly’s fugly mug, we’d get behind anything.
mere cog in the machine
January 4th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

In FOOB’s last panel, Elly looks like John Lennon after a weekend with Harry Nilsson. Or maybe a week.
Dean Booth
January 4th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

#235 MRP: Funny you should mention that — I created this this morning. (p.s. I’ve never known bats:[ to fail, though.)
Sans Sense
January 4th, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

DT: How many people does Dick have to kill before he figures out whodunit? This plotline gets the Sans Sense award for 2007. I think they came up with the Haunted Mansion idea for Halloween and have been winging it ever since. I miss my Gretchen.

MT: Yeah, yeah, yeah… Kathy, Luke and the Cro Magnon killed Bull to sell the camp to the bidnessmen they’ve been flying in. Apparently fishing camps are the hot roll up strategy for 2008, I cannot wait for that IPO.

MW: How’s about we meet at the Hudson Dog Park at 1am? My name is Thomas and I am a wealthy Nigerian businessman. I want to give you a reward but am having trouble getting my 16 million dollars into the country. Could you bring $16,000 in cash to help me with the transfer fees?
Anonymous
January 4th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: I don’t think that there is a single facial feature in comic strips I’d less like to see in real life than Sarge’s one bottom tooth that sticks over his lip and damn near goes up to his eye. If I turned a corner and was faced with that mug I’d probably wet myself.

Baby Blues: I stand corrected, man with a nose bigger than his oldest child!

Doonesbury: Hey, I don’t care if you’re homosexual or heterosexual, calling your boyfriend (or girlfriend) your ‘lover’ in casual conversation is just freaking creepy.

Curtis: You know what I love? I still haven’t figured out if the thief is the good guy or the bad guy. Either way, the fact that he is about to be the proud father of a buffalo is AWESOME!
Calico
January 4th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

#232 Re: FOOB –
I was hoping Elly would eventually go back under her Buffalo skin.
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 4th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Forgive the possible oversnark:

Things I hate about today’s comics:

1) Dick Tracy’s beyond-stupid implication that the governor managed to build a highway in secret.
2) The gradual transformation by Kitty into some sort of darky jigaboo in Gasoline Alley.
3) Popeye’s laugh.

Things I love in today’s comics:

1. Margo’s shocked, furious, icy, “WHAT?!”
2. The black heart floating above Dagwood’s head. Blondie delivers the kiss of death!
3. The second panel of Dilbert, all on its lonesome.
4. EVERYTHING about today’s F-minus!
5. Satchel’s putdown in panel three. I hope to work this into everyday conversation.
6. That Popeye’s father is reading “Sea Dirt” magazine.
Deena in OR
January 4th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

241 Re: Doonesbury-

Unfortunately, present English language usage offers no other accurate, dignified alternative.

“Boyfriend”-not exactly appropriate to describe an adult relationship

“Partner”-a bit…businesslike.

“Significant Other”-cumbersome and awkward.

And besides…the word “lover” can have so many connotations other than the one most frequently assumed. I think it’s a perfectly ahem….’lovely’ way to describe a relationship with another person. But that’s just me.
Sans Sense
January 4th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

244. Deena in OR -

I think when you are speaking about a specific individual and not a role, the dignified alternative is to use the person’s name and second person identifier as BD did (Boopsie and her). I can’t recall the name of Mark’s lover but he could personalize him through the use of his name. Just sayin’.
Gregoire
January 4th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

I always thought that Popeye’s laugh was more like…

ike,ike,ike,ike, etc, ad nauseum
rhymes with puck
January 4th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

reposting with my name this time…oops.

Beetle Bailey: I don’t think that there is a single facial feature in comic strips I’d less like to see in real life than Sarge’s one bottom tooth that sticks over his lip and damn near goes up to his eye. If I turned a corner and was faced with that mug I’d probably wet myself.

Baby Blues: I stand corrected, man with a nose bigger than his oldest child!

Doonesbury: Hey, I don’t care if you’re homosexual or heterosexual, calling your boyfriend (or girlfriend) your ‘lover’ in casual conversation is just freaking creepy.

Curtis: You know what I love? I still haven’t figured out if the thief is the good guy or the bad guy. Either way, the fact that he is about to be the proud father of a buffalo is AWESOME!

244 – Unfortunately, I can’t read him mentioning his ‘lover’ without thinking of the old Will Ferrell/Rachel Dratch skits on SNL.
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 4th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

#239 Bravo, sir!
bats :[
January 4th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

239. Dean Booth: oh, geez, is that inspired! You are indeed the master. (Me? I’m only an apprentice…and not one of those namby-pamby padawans, either!)

Trying to gussy up Mrs. Potato-Nose is pretty much a lose-lose proposition…
Deena in OR
January 4th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

247-Well, yeah, there is that lingering SNL memory. :) (shudder) . The problem that I think we’re having is that Trudeau hasn’t yet identified Mark’s new man by name. So Trudeau, Mark and the rest of us are stuck with less than perfect nomenclature until the big reveal.

Plus, doncha think, that maybe, just maybe, Mark might be rubbing BD’s nose in his own internalized homophobia a bit? I wouldn’t put it past that character.
Gabe
January 4th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

250: I’m pretty sure that’s EXACTLY what he’s doing. Mark likes to make his old buddy squirm.
Jobiska
January 4th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

24 Niall:

(Just don’t try the homemade root beer unless you like the flat, non-carbonated kind.)

If I may presume to add to your Lancaster County root beer advice:

If you do buy homemade PA Dutch root beer, do not:

–Leave it in its jug in your trunk in the summer weather while you continue to do another hour or so of sightseeing.

–Bring it into the kitchen of your farm B&B apartment.

–open it up in that kitchen with plans to make root beer floats (because of course the ice cream would chill the now room-temp root beer).

Of course, if your idea of a fun long weekend away with your family is cleaning root beer spatters off the ceiling and all of the cabinets of said kitchen, then explaining to the B&B farmwife that there are root beer stains all over her kitchen despite your cleaning efforts, then pay my advice no mind.

(That root beer was definitely carbonated, and still “live” with whatever was causing the fermentation/carbonation, as the farmwife helpfully explained to us!)

188 gleeb:

Rex: To calm himself, Niki plays the old “You must pay the rent”, melodrama in his head.

Bwah! I couldn’t decide whether her was trying out what he’d look like with a mustache (though seeing how much he’s matured in appearance on this trip, he doesn’t need one, plus what if they encounter Mark Trail out in those woods? It could be a liability) or has gone loopy with the stress (of being alone with Rex or alone with a criminal, you take your pick) and is about to go blblblblblblbl with his finger on his lips.
Starrynight
January 5th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

#226 UncleJeff– Maybe the P-P will start a national trend and FOOB can be put to rest before it gets any worse.
Braniff
January 5th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: I won’t judge that one or any of the Family Circus puns today. I have made some bad puns myself recently. Last night, for example at a country music place, I sang along to the Merle Haggard song “I’m proud to be an Obi Wan Kenobe”.

Perhaps I’ve been reading these message threads for way too long.
Ginger Yellow
January 7th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

Isn’t “senior plugger” a tautology?
Anonymous
April 25th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

I immediately figured it would be the pluggers in-law because in the bleak, horriffic, misfortune filled world of Pluggers, the actual daughter died years ago, leaving Dog man with only an in-law to have any paternal hopes and dreams for.

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