Origin story
Gil Thorp, 1/15/08
I’m pretty sure this is the most effort ever put into painting some kind of psychological portrait of a Gil Thorp character. Usually these demented cubist weirdoes just do bizarre stuff like cut off their legs or hit themselves in the back of the head with a stick without any obvious motivation, but for some reason we’re getting the full backstory on what makes the A-Train tick. Sure, it’s nothing ground-breaking — oh my God, a star high school athlete is kind of competitive! — but I have to admit to really liking the final flashback panel, where Andrew savagely crumples up his own paper when he discovers that his girlfriend is smarter than he is. His twisted, angry face makes it look like this is the moment when Lex Luthor decided to become a genius supervillain. “I’ll show her who knows more about American history … when I rule America! MOO ha ha!”
Judge Parker, 1/15/08
This is a good example of how having different people writing and illustrating a strip can result in an amusing disconnect. Gloria is Sam’s longtime legal secretary or personal assistant or something non-lawyer-y, and it’s totally possible that the dialog as written is supposed to be taken at face value and Sam really does think of Gloria as his real partner in the lawyerin’ business. But his heavy-lidded smirky expression in the second panel pretty much makes him look like the most condescending citizen of Smugville, U.S.A., and Gloria’s little insert closeup seems to indicate that she isn’t buying it. “OK, he’s a prick, but at least I don’t have to worry about him sexually harassing me,” she seems to be thinking.
Darkefang
January 16th, 2008 at 11:57 am
A3G: Alan, I don’t know how things work where you hang out, but in the non-junkie community, people tend to frown upon their significant others making out with random strangers.
DT: Where’s Gretchen and her old Soviet bomb when you need her? Blowing these people to bits is going to be the only thing that’ll bring a merciful end to this storyline.
FC: Jeffy – now grown and in charge of the comic strip – fondly recalls how his dad and brother would sit around the living room talking about naked men.
FW: “Being the spouse of a band director isn’t pretty.”
Neither is being a character in Funky Winkerbean.
GT: Andrew is ugly and has wild mood swings punctuated by fits of rage? It’s hard to see how any Milford High girl can resist this guy.
JP: I’ve gotta start hanging out with Sam Driver. Sure, he’s a boring guy, but he’s never more than five feet from an incredible rack.
Lockhorns: I think the expiration date on this joke was 2001.
Luann: I’m curious. How old is this Ben guy, anyway? Luann is still in high school, so she’s probably not 18 yet. Most states are pretty picky about anyone over 20 dating high schoolers. Is Ben going to end up on a sex offender database at the end of this particular storyline?
MT: Tomorrow, this story should pick up, as Evil Sam and Beardley pelt mark with ducks.
RMMD: Are Rex and Niki going to stave of hypothermia by burning Niki’s doobie-rolling papers or a stack of crisp new twenties?
Stephen
January 16th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
How old is Andrew, anyway? He looks 42.
Skeltometer
January 16th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Gotta love how Sam’s shirt collar is wide open (disco style!) and still rocking the huge tie knot. Savvy!
Bunnë
January 16th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
GT: OK, I know it’s an easy complain, but I can never stop myself from pointing out: Andrew is so competitive that he’s resorting to crumpling up his test using an arm that’s not attached to him body! Crazy!
Skeltometer
January 16th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Can’t believe I didn’t see this, but apparently Milford High is the secret hangout for all the bad guys in the original Batman TV show based on the way it sits in the 2nd panel. To the Batmobile!
Rainbird
January 16th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
But Josh, you forgot to mention the school built around a school bus in GT What is the origin of that?
Brick Bradford
January 16th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
GT–It was disappointing to see that Andrew’s Vulcan/Romulan ex had the points ground off of her ears. Clearly she was part of the same spy expedition as Jean Kirkpatrick and Sam Donaldson.
Andrew looks sort of like the scene where Eel O’Brien decided on a life of crime. Who knew he’d one day be Plastic Man?
JP Sam’s face looks to me like he’s imaging her naked. He expression suggests the sheer disgust she feels at the thought of Sam imaging her naked.
Brick Bradford
January 16th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Actually the school bus in GT looks like it’s tipping the gym (a good name for an early 60’s rock song, by the way) over a cliff.
Andrew, no doubt, is at the wheel.
TantiveVI
January 16th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
andrew looks more like Victor Von Doom in the third panel. “A 97? CURSE YOU RICHARDS!!” he bellows into the now quiet school, “you and your whole family will rue this day for eternity!!” camera pan.
Niall
January 16th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
yesterthread returns:
49. Mr. O’Malley: Hmm, not quite the right location for The Beguiling, but it’s one of the few places I would think of which would have something on Tijuana Bibles. And yes, a number of Bloor places have gone down in quality – I remember the excellent mushroom knishes at… dammit, name escapes me… a few blocks west of St-George, corner place, excellent and large seleciton of cakes… student hangout.. anyway. They stopped having knishes. I stopped going when I was visiting.
51. A Munkey’s Uncle: of course conservatives can be funny. I mean on purpose. :) Like anything else, it takes someone who knows and accepts the strenghts and weaknesses of all positions and works them one against the other. Accept a small weakness in order to deliver a larger one in the punchline, stuff like that – but kept on the side of truth, if exaggerated a little for comedic purposes. Bonus points for integrating characterisation.
65. Tweeks: who cares what the bunny girl is doing? Just admire. :)
69. AfkaBen: I got it! The monkey is Logan “Beast Boy” from Teen Titans, ogling to his heart’s content, figuring this is finally a great way to get some tail action. Oh, and Weber so approved of “Slylock Fixed” that he put it on his own website. :)
71. mere cog / 84. blueberrygrrl: more than likely that Native American had the swastika in the proper orientation, unlike the reverse one used by the national socialists. But under that duress, it’s not something one tends to think about – the need to not get punched to oblivion (or whatever) rather trumps such details.
93. Loopina: I hadn’t noticed the black sweatervest in Slylock! Great eye!
John Hewitt
January 16th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Why did I go out with Andrew? I look like a freaking Vulcan and I’m seven feet tall! I’ll go out with anyone who can stare at my face without having an epileptic fit!
El Santo
January 16th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Hey, Gil Thorp has had a fradulent Negro League player, a bewigged folk-music star, a one-legged boxer, and a sullen monster who killed a man with a fallaway slam.
Why not a supervillain?
Also, I think the Dr. Doom analogy works well. Andrew is thinking, “No … I’m not wrong. They’re wrong! And I’ll prove them wrong! They’ll see! They’ll ALL SEE!!!!”
Moss_Moses
January 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
“I want to set things straight”. Isn’t catching Drew two timing straightforward enough? Why is there anything left to set straight, besides Drew’s straight crotch thing?
SkeletonKey
January 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I think we’re all missing something vital. Because he’s TALLER than her?
Dave
January 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
And today Andrew is throwing a basketball at, what, a volleyball net? Or into a shower?
SecretMargo
January 16th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Josh, you self-deprecating fool, I know you’re never going to, uh, “plug yourself” so now I….have to. Ugh. That could have been phrased better.
Anyway, everybody check out our Pope’s new(ish) column, “The Foreigns” at Wonkette!!! Today: a leering survey of the world’s hottest First Ladies. No, it’s not about comics, but still: he gets paid by the pageview! Also: it’s hilarious, in that acidic/ironic/self-parodic way that’s the Wonkette house style. So enjoy, or just click on the link without reading if that’s your wont. Remember: pageviews! It’s easier than buying a T-shirt, though we should all do that too.
Electro
January 16th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Gee, when I read the final panel of Gil Thorp, I figured that Andrew was showing his Romulan friend his own test, and the paper he was clutching in his other hand was his sodden pocket hanky that he’d been using to daub the tears from his eyes from the shame of receiving a mere 97% on his rocket science exam.
But what I really want to know is how you can play basketball when your entire school is built on a 25 degree slant. Is this what’s known as a ‘home court advantage’?
Chris
January 16th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Andrew is taking the spit curl to heights that even Clark Kent was a-skeered to. By next year that thing will be suing for emancipation.
Lord-z
January 16th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Yes, Andrew, maybe she knows math and where to pinch to make a guy unconcious, but can she turn on a jukebox by hitting it?
Nate
January 16th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
That first panel of Gil Thorp makes me think this is the origin story of her decades-long “experimentation” with lesbianism. Those are some serious bedroom eyes she’s getting from that other lesbian.
Liverboy
January 16th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Can someone please explain the aerodynamics of the vehicle in today’s Beetle Bailey to me? It looks like something you would find in the Kid Zone at a KOA campground in the middle of the desert.
Little Guy
January 16th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
9CL: It’s too late. A bitch in jungle underwear is still a bitch.
SFth: Next, Ralph will claim his rightful title of “Miss Chamber of Commerce” and the reset button will be complete.
Baldo: I’d be worried about the Coalition of the Angry for giving the impression that the Black dude can’t be as racist as the White Dude.
BTW, if this was Spidey, that loogie would take three weeks to land, with Spidey angsting whether to duck and what butterfly consequences would happen to the world if he did.
Mariko
January 16th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
When I first saw the ‘97′ on Generic Name’s girlfriend’s test, I thought it said ‘9%.’ Actually, that would have made a lot more sense, I think.
odinthor
January 16th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
You mean . . . you mean that while I was carefully writing and posting my zany madcap japes and whimsical hijinx on the “soon: Meet Josh” thread (see #105), another thread got underway?!?!?!? Baa! Grble!
Meander
January 16th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
“FOOLS! I will destroy you all! Ask me how!“
The Uncola
January 16th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Loads to talk about in GT today…. I’m more interested in panel 1:
Who is brandishing a basketball in front of that woman’s face? Is that Andrew violently challenging her to a game of basketball to prove he can beat her at something?
Plus, my impression of that girl in the background is that she is curiously looking at the girlfriend (I’m sorry, I’m sure these characters have names, but it’s freaking GT, so I don’t care) as if to say: “Who the hell is she talking to?”
I think the real core question in GT is whether anyone has ever seen an actual elbow in the entire run of the strip.
Lindsey
January 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
How old is this Andrew kid supposed to be, anyway? He looks like a 45th year freshman.
Hubris
January 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I was betting that Andrew had fallen into an acrid vat filled with pomade and self-satisfaction.
TheMatt
January 16th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
You know, when I saw the first panel of “Judge Parker” today, I thought for an instant, a brief, glorious instant, that I would be able to see Judge Parker.
I swear when ol’ Judge Parker finally dies, we’ll have 20 weeks of strips detailing the funeral with not one image of that man’s face. Heck, they probably won’t even refer to him at all and just have weird reaction shots of people.
Buddy and Hopkins: Outragous Music Cartoons
January 16th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Gil Thorp – I don’t think Andrew looks twisted and angry in the third panel, I think he looks kinda sad – and I don’t think it’s because his girlfriend beat his test score, I think it’s because he has a squirrel tail growing out of his forehead.
willethompson
January 16th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
FW: Only Batiuk could make M&Ms and beer depressing.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 16th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
10 Niall,
I like your Beast Boy theory. It sure helps his chances that he can come in as a different species every day.
Moss_Moses
January 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Baldo must reside in “El Bosque Perdido” because good is good and evil is evil and there is no doubt about which is which. Baldo panders like no other strip this side of Cathy.
James
January 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Luann: My hatred for that strip grows each day. Is there a blog dedicated to like-minded people that have an obsession with disliking that strip? Or am I alone in my mentail illness?
Pozzo
January 16th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
In panel 3, Andrew looks he’s getting ready for some of the “fist wrist-deep in the face” action that GT does so well.
queek
January 16th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
the awesome that was todays MC and SFx have already been mentioned, so I’ll go on to other things.
Today’s Frazz had a wonderfully awful pun.
F- made up for several previous bi-weakly periods of no laughter today. I don’t know why I found it so amusing, but it was a full-out belly-laugher.
Candorville, as usual, wasn’t subtle, but I was amused nonetheless.
Guess last Sunday wasn’t the only time that the Hateeachothers used perspective. It’s a definite change in the strip. Wonder why?
A&J: n’aawwwwwwwwty. :-)
AhClem
January 16th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Several people have pointed out the school bus that crashed into the Milford Gym, knocking it off its foundation and tilting it several degrees. Is this a GT/Crankshaft crossover?
Now that I think about it, Andrew’s face does look like it’s been pummeled repeatedly with a sack of Lena’s brownies.
gnome de blog
January 16th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Since Harold LeDoux retired, every time Gloria Sanchez appears she’s different. It’s like Barretto is auditioning Glorias to see which one fits the part. They seem to be getting younger and more scantily clad, too.
Hasty Penguin
January 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
What’s happening in that second Gil Thorp panel? Looks like some prankster has taken a fulcrum and lifted the school onto an angle! Andrew won’t be too pleased when he realizes he only lifted a house.
DAS
January 16th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I look like a freaking Vulcan and I’m seven feet tall!
I’m sure she could find plenty of Nice Guys(TM) that would dote on her every moment at a SciFi convention. 7 feet tall? The more woman the better ;) Looks like a Vulcan? Will fit in perfectly at a Trek convention … Sounds like some geek would be more than happy to marry her right then and there.
Alfred E. Neuman
January 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I’ve been talking with some of my fellow cartoon characters, and while I’m rarely one to worry, some of their comments are disturbing.
Wally Winkerbean says: “After surviving a helicopter crash and a minefield in Afghanistan, I finally made it safely home and back to civilian life. Then it turned out that the Army released me one day too soon. How did the Army make me pay for their mistake? By making me spend a full tour of duty in Iraq! How did my friends and family respond to this obvious injustice? Did they support me by writing to their elected representatives, contacting the media, staging protests, or flooding the Internet with my story? Naw, they didn’t do anything. Now I am in Batiukatory and no one cares. I would kill myself, but I think I’m already dead.”
Elly Patterson says: “When I was young my nose was fairly petite. Even now, when viewed from the side it is not extremely large. However, when viewed from the front, it turns into an appendage reminiscent of a giant sebaceous tumor or a massive pustule. Why is that? I understand how my gluttonous appetite has affected my giant ass, but how does it affect the frontal view of my nose? Maybe it goes back to the time when April was small and I left all of our doors and gates unlocked and allowed her to wander outside and into a raging flood. Fortunately only our dog died, but off-panel I did start drinking like Ted Kennedy and W. C. Fields combined, and you know how their noses turned out. I guess I’ve answered my own question, but I still don’t get the side view discrepancy. I’ll go back to spending many more hours in front of the mirror until I figure it out.”
Tiffany says: “I know everyone considers me obnoxious and obsessively self-centered, but compared to Elly Patterson, I’m Mother Teresa.”
Sam Driver says: “Someone wants to have sex with me? Who?”
Mountain Mama
January 16th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Mooncattie, just saw your reply to me back on the child-free discussion.
I would love it if you came out west here. You should come for the Tucson meet up!
You’re in Canada, right? I love Canada, Toronto in particular.
Allie Cat
January 16th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
FW – This reminds me of an episode of the Simpsons where Homer goes to the Kwik E Mart to buy Skittlebrau – a delicious lager with candy floating in it. When Apu tells him this doesn’t exist, he asks for a six pack of Duff and a bag of Skittles.
On a tangential note, and harkening back to our Munich discussion several threads back – they do a drink there called a Radler, which is beer mixed with lemonade. I had it a few times, thought it was great and asked the waiter what kind of lemonade they use. “Half beer, half Sprite,” he tells me.
Sounds gross, but it’s a delightful drink in the summer after you’ve just worked in the garden, etc.
Trotzenbonnie
January 16th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
#16 – SecretMargo
Thanks for the tip. And thanks to my aphasia-laden brain I’ll have to return to the link numerous times before finishing the article so, if pageview tallies count as money, Josh could be a millionaire before this day is over.
I’ve been staring at panel two of Gil Thorp for almost twenty minutes and, I must say, if only I had seen it sooner I could have saved myself a lot of crack money.
FOOB, glorious FOOB – Oh, thank you , thank you, thank you, Lynn Johnston! I’m going to e-mail today’s strip to My Rotten Kid instead of sending him a birthday wish just to let him know how much he means to me. ‘See how you ruined my life by forcing me to postpone it, you little shit? Think of all the things I could have been if it wasn’t for YOU! I could have gone to college, dammit! Oh. Wait a minute. I did. I graduated with high distinction from GMU the same year you graduated from elementary school. Well, I could have used my talents and had an interesting career, dammit! Oops! That’s right. I’ve been drawing cartoons for these two old ladies since you were in diapers. Crap. Well, you really put a cramp in my hippie-days political activistism style, that’s for sure. Damn. I forgot about taking you across the Potomac to every single protest in DC starting when you were around 7. Well, shitty shit shit. I could have had fun in the mosh pits at Ramones concerts and doing the pogo at Poseur’s in Georgetown. Got me again, there, Mr Smartypants. I did that too…….’
Well, dammit to friggity hell! What’s the use of being a mother if you can’t complain about it?
Oh yeah! I almost forgot….Happy 30th birthday, mijo and –
WHERE’S MY DAMN GRANDBABIES, DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT?!!!
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 16th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@ #21 – Liverboy:
The nearest thing I could think of when I read today’s Beetle Bailey was that Gen. Halftrack was getting his lunch delivered by an autogiro .
Which, since that particular piece of aviation technology was superseded by more efficient aircraft many decades ago, should fit in quite well at Camp Swampy: home of the 299th Obsolescent Weaponry Division (”The Fighting Anachronisms”).
GT – When I saw the “97″ on Romulan Girl’s test, my first thought was that that was her name: and that that the teacher had just momentarily forgotten her “Earth name” (what IS it, by the way?).
Josh
January 16th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
#16 SecretMargo — Aww, thanks! Yeah, I’ve had this new column for a few weeks now, but have refrained from pimping it here because it isn’t comic-related at all. If you want to see older columns, just click here!
I’m probably not supposed to get into how Gawker Media’s new bonus structure is set up, but I get paid nicely for the columns, which in turn means that my pageviews have to be REALLY crazy for me to get any extra. Don’t let that stop you though!
Next week, I attempt to use my objective powers of discernment to determine who the hottest First Gentlemen (i.e. husbands of lady world leaders) are. Sadly, this is a smaller and significantly less hot group.
Josh
Trotzenbonnie
January 16th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
#43 – Allie Cat
Half beer, half Sprite? That sounds like something My Rotten Kid would just love.
He used to get in trouble at 7-Eleven for filling his Giant Big Gulp paper barrel with a little of every flavor at the soda fountains.
Niall
January 16th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Josh: maybe some readers here will assist you in judging male hotness? :)
Dr. Pants
January 16th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Hold on just a second there, Andrew is supposed to be cute? I get the feeling his ex is leaving out a few details.
“Why did I go out with Andrew? He’s cute, he’s taller than me, when my seeing eye dog is unavailable he leads to the bathroom…”
Allie Cat
January 16th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
#44 – Trotzenbonnie – speaking on behalf of 30-somethings everywhere – you’ll get your grandbabies when and if we’re good damn ready to start procreating. Having babies is a choice, not a mandate!
Having seen what smElly had to go through, though…well – no thanks! And her kids are perfect. Mine would be mere mortals.
Uh… can you tell this is something I’ve been struggling with?
I wouldn’t mind having kids, but Mr. Cat isn’t feeling it – and so, we think probably not.
perisphere
January 16th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
This post is right on about Gloria and Sam. “You sure don’t *pay* me like I’m a partner in this firm,” says Gloria’s eyebrow.
Uncle Lumpy
January 16th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
#46 Josh –
Politics “isn’t comics-related at all”? I doubt that very much, sir!
I’ve been calming myself by viewing all the primaries as live(ish)-action extensions of Judge Parker, Wee Pals, Cathy, and Pluggers.
See? See?
King Folderol
January 16th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
#18 – Actually, Chris, that flashback goes back to a school day that happened to fall on Halloween. Gil Thorp doesn’t explain this particularly well, but Andrew’s costume isn’t Superman per se, but a 40-year old, middle aged Superman, circa Quest for Peace (Superman IV) Superman. Well done, Andrew. How did you get those wrinkles on your forehead?
JP – I actually think that Sam has learned how to pleasure himself through mental telepathy, thus explaining the satisfied look on his face. Either that, or that’s the best coffee in the universe he’s drinking there.
Mariko
January 16th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
#45 Spunky–
I think that your ‘97′ theory makes even more sense than mine. All I wonder is, why would she date somebody if she experiences no emotions?
The Divine O’F
January 16th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Yesterthread bats:[: help in getting to Kon-Tiki would be great, though I’ll work slowly on Mr. O’F. He is actually somewhat hostile to my devotion to all this, so we will see.
And re wildflowers: I think they’re going to be excellent even if there’s no more rain, but if there’s more, they will be stupendous. All my stuff is starting to sprout new leaves now, just in time to be knocked off by the hard freeze tomorrow. I’ve taken to bringing the hibisci inside during freezes.
34 James: I hate Luann as much as you do. Maybe more.
prospero
January 16th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Mark Trail: I don’t mean to sound pedantic, but it’s actually impossible for aircraft to be amphibious. Amphi- means both, and bios denotes living. Other than Thomas the Deadly Lead-Spreading WMD Tank Engine From China, machines aren’t alive. Even if this is meant metaphorically, the biological term amphibious refers to surviving on land and water. On land, the float plane is dead as a doornail. OK. I guess I did mean to sound pedantic.
Gil: This strip has amply represented neurotics and sociopaths. Andrew is a venture into psycopathy. Marty Moon will die.
Edgy DC
January 16th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
“Andrew was hypercompetitive about everything… like that time I was tutoring that gaunt 60-year-old rehabbing motorcycle mechanic….”
Merrideath
January 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
AG3: I don’t think any of us can really blame Alan. Lu Ann was 13 days late.
Gregoire
January 16th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
#38 – Next up on JP… Gloria “Dirty” Sanchez!
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 16th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
# 54 – Mariko:
“…why would she date somebody if she experiences no emotions?
I think poor “97″s problem isn’t so much that she doesn’t “experience” emotions: it’s just that she’s had to learn to mimic them through being trapped in the Gil Thorp comicverse. Where her grotesque looks and lack of social skills will, of course, blend right in and let her “pass” unnoticed.
After all, aren’t high schools the perfect “cover” for space aliens, and other non-fitting-in types??
The Photocopiest
January 16th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I dunno, his insistence that she’s party responsible “for this firm…” seems to be a pretty good double entendre. For this strip, anyway.
Sandy
January 16th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
GT – Second Panel: It seems that, rather than move the bus, the Board of Education voted to simply build the school diagonally over it. How lazy!
kingklash
January 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
#11-John Hewitt, that reminds me when Spock couldn’t look unaided at the box alien without temporary loss of marbles. Where’s a sensor net dress when you need one?
gleeb
January 16th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
21, 45: I thought it was an autogyro, too. But autogyros don’t have wings.
Paperback Rifler
January 16th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
It’s not great snark that I have, but maybe someday . . .
Spider-Man: But no woman turns me down twice!
“That’s because I get the message the first time! I didn’t get to where I am in life by being an idiot, y’know; and yes, I am well aware that my embarrassing, ear-to-ear combover isn’t fooling anyone! That doesn’t count as ‘idiotic;’ it’s just tacky as all get out, is all.”
— S. Krandis, Villain (Not a SUPER-Villain, Mind You. The Regular Kind.)
Family Circus: Alternative, also lame text possibilities for today’s installment:
Mary Worth: What I’m hoping will happen is that Vera’s idea of “setting things right” involves a swift kick to Drew’s nad-ical region. What will probably happen is a week and a half of talking; and not once during all that talking will Drew say, “Vera, what the hell is this outfit you’re wearing? I mean, I know you’re not fabulously rich anymore; but damn, woman! Go buy a freakin’ mirror!”
Gil Thorpè: What?! Maureen beat Andrew at a game of “horse”? How can that be, when Spitcurl Andrew is clearly the horsiest horseface that ever horsed? Heck, I’d even venture to say that during the game, Andrew kept score not by spelling, but by clopping his hoof once for each made basket; and in any case, he was probably only in the game for the promise of a couple of sugar cubes and half an apple if he won. The very idea that Vulcan / Liza Minnelli love child Maureen could best Andrew in a game of “horse” is a load of horsefeathers! I cry “foal!”
prospero
January 16th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
97. Nine of Seven? Gil Thorp Collective? Might explain why almost none of the characters is individually recognizable.
Gleeb: Maybe amphibious autogyros do.
BigTed
January 16th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
To me, the look on Gloria’s wide-eyed, full-lipped face says, “Sure, I’ll help you make that decision, Sam — with your little head!” (Which means she don’t know him very well, do she?)
Chris
January 16th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Allie Cat, I used to live in Munich and after playing soccer, lots of the guys would go to the Gasthaus and have a Radermass (i.e., half liter of beer and half liter 7UP)…they say “Bier und Limonade” but it’s not really what we in the states call lemonade. I’d usually opt for a liter of Helles, though.
Sam sure seems frisky after that extra “cup of coffee” with Abbie…makes sense, if “cup of coffee” is their code for “anal.”
‘Cos I’m guessing that’s the only way Abbie ever gets any.
D'oh
January 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
#43 Allie Cat
That drink is also called a Shandy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shandy
And it is quite refreshing
dyslexic dog
January 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
#101 (yesterthread) Happy Happenstance:
I had a look at Baldo, based on your recommendation. In my impulsive haste to switch to another comic, any comic, I accidentally tuned in to a very promising version of FC’s Dolly, if we can just be patient for another 25 years in comic strip time.
~~~~
In other news, today’s Drabble is the cleaned up PG version of today’s Lockhorns.
DtM: “Yes, young man, I’ll give her your message when I get home tonight.”
MW: Drew finally may be able to have his way with Vera now that he’s sporting his snazzy new Errol Flynn ’stache.
Dr. Morgan: Niki has been collecting naked photos of Rex. But first things first.
9CL: I am relatively new to this odd strip, and as such do not mind spottily repetitive leopard skin undergarments. But this is Edda’s mother? Grrrwlll.
(Although I suspect Juliette is Brooke’s alter ego.)
Gabacho
January 16th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Mary Worth – I grew up in New York City. I have lived and worked in London, Mexico City, Sao Paolo, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Paris and a host of other places. I have lived in enormous apartment buildings – the world’s largest co-op in the Bronx is one example.
Never have I seen so many passersby as show up daily in the suburban town of Santa Royale. Who are these people? Why do they all walk up so close and stare at us?
What the hell is Vera wearing?
I am so confused.
Sally Forth – I worked with two guys where one of them started doing this sort of crap in a naked effort to undermine the other. One night, as the douchebag was walking to the train, the guy he was screwing over walked up to him and punched his lights out. Violence in the workplace is a serious problem but on the street after work, problems can be resolved.
Family Circus – Do you want to see the pictures of the naked Olympians, Billy?
Gil Thorp – Andrew sulked for three days because H.O.R.S.E. meant the loser had to kiss Maureen.
kris
January 16th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
fw? is wally dead? did they ever really address that or are to to just ASSume it? and do you think the guy could actually learn to draw mouths that look like they have teeth? everyone looks like their teeth fell out. and do you think someone could inform the asswipe that just because he is a fat, balding old fuck that not everyone ages that way? if comic charactors could come to life they would kill his lame ass.
mere cog in the machine
January 16th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
46 & 48: I don’t know about the rest of you folks, but Prince Philip just melts my butter! When I hear that plummy, cultured voice I could just put him on a tea saucer and sop him up with a cucumber sandwich! Tally Freakin’ Ho!
Ukulele Ike
January 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Yesterthread, blueberrygrrrl @ 84 said: “The swastika was used by Native American cultures (Navajo and others) as a symbol of the four compass directions long before it was made unpopular by the Third Reich.”
Gotta point out that this sentence needs to be reprinted in the next Webster’s Unabridged under the term “Hilarious Understatement.”
Uncle Lumpy
January 16th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
#70 d. dog –
That’s more likely to be Burkhardt. Violist, unrequited Maria João Pires obsession, etc., etc.
Juliette is an academically-focused viola-playing cartoonists’ image of a powerful woman — safely tenured, she bullies temporary staff and a geriatric Board with hair-trigger, tidal, self-aggrandizing logorrhea. What’s not to love?
LTBF
January 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
FW-So Comic Book Guy is upset his one armed wife is always away at band events. Is his book store only open 8-5 on week days?
mere cog in the machine
January 16th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
#74: And wouldn’t you agree that Stalin’s treatment of the kulaks was “somewhat callous and insensitive”?
AhClem
January 16th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
#47 Trotzenbonnie -
“He used to get in trouble at 7-Eleven for filling his Giant Big Gulp paper barrel with a little of every flavor at the soda fountains.”
I used to do the same thing when I was a kid. In Detroit, such a concoction was called a “Hiya Miya.” It usually turned out pretty good (at least for a kid with a high sugar tolerance) — unless “Tab” was one of the choices. That stuff tasted like the effluent flowing into the Detroit River from the Ford Rouge Plant.
sf_reader
January 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
71 – Gabacho – I spent my teenage years at Co-op City. Maybe I know you.
“Problems solved on the street after work” – you’re a true Bronxite!
Michael Shonk
January 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Eduardo Barreto (artist of “Judge Parker”) is my hero. Today’s Jan. 16th strip is a good example of his genius at making the most boring action visually interesting. Look at the artistic movement within the final panel as Sam stretches! Mr. Barreto is one of the few artists who can make painting a room visually stimulating for days. I hope writer Woody Williams has Abby mow the lawn soon. I get all excited just thinking of looking at such a scene! “Judge Parker” is one of my favorite comic strips. Think of the months of people talking I will get to enjoy as Mr. Wilson brings together the story of illegal brownies and a story of a disabled war hero and his sick Mom.
I hope as the quality of this strip continues to rise it might lead to the embarrassed Judge Parker himself to come out of hiding.
prospero
January 16th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Gabacho@ 71: As far as Mary Worth bit-part passersby are concerned, the Rorrypop guird pickpocket (1/15) is best ever. Not that he’s a good pickpocket. The would-be victim is staring right at him, with withering disdain.
The artistes should consider transvestite prostitutes, Hare Krishnas, JF Sebastian’s toy-replicant ‘friends’, Gollum, squeegee guys, Dickless Cheney, flashers, flashers with entire jewelry stores in their raincoat linings, the GEICO gekko driving his chick-magnet convertible, Howard the Duck, Hugh Grant, Hugh Grant in an alley with the transvestite prostitute. In no particular order, and feel free to mix and match.
dyslexic dog
January 16th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
#75 Uncle L.
Well, okay. I must admit I have never before seen Burkhardt. According to the linked character list, he is Seth, albeit with shoulders covered. Brooke seems to spend more time lovingly delineating his women and their egos (and why not!). Hence my faux pas.
Uncle Lumpy
January 16th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
#82 dd –
Yeah. And it’s hard to tell all the ineffectual pasty nominally-hetero males (Amos, ex-priest whatsisname, Juliette’s husband whatsisname) apart, so why add one more?
loudlikeamouse
January 16th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
The third panel of Gil Thorp confused me the first three times I looked at it, until I realized that the paper was a 97, not a 9%. Of course, Andrew’s infuriated pose only becomes sweeter if it’s a 9%. “I can’t possibly be going out with someone that stupid! I’LL PUNCH THE STUPID OUT OF YOU.”
maudamanda
January 16th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Is there some sort of correlation between height and how much fun one is? Competitiveness – not so fun. Perhaps the competitiveness wasn’t the issue; he isn’t too much taller than she (as the questionable perspective would have you believe), and thusly, she must have left him for a taller and reasonably even more fun boyfriend!
Original Lee
January 16th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Reading this blog is starting to pay off! My daughter told me last night that I’m a much better mother than Elly in FOOB. Hurray!
Not that I was worried or anything, but if a 10-year-old can see what rotten parenting skills are being displayed in that strip, then why doesn’t Lynn get it?
LTBF
January 16th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
You’d have to be Susan Smith to be a worse mother than Elly.
Zakao
January 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Good to know I’m not the only one that figured 9%. It’s a lot funnier that way.
Oi
January 17th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Everyone else is reading that test score as ninety-seven? I read it as 92. I welcome the 9% interpretation, though.
Carly
January 17th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Gil Thorpe appears to be based on one of my relationships. And while some might find it odd that we get more backstory for less strange behavior, when it comes to characters bashing their heads with sticks, the author probably realizes it is more fun to have no explanation and see what theories the folks on the internet come up with.
Joe Blevins
January 17th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
GT: Andrew’s secret origin is that he’s the bastard offspring of Lenny and Squiggy.