The Comics CurmudgeonI think most aphorisms should have a 'maniacal clown' exception

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I think most aphorisms should have a ‘maniacal clown’ exception

Spider-Man, 7/14/12

Peter Parker is constantly consumed by jealousy of his wife’s success and delights in any opportunity he has to restrict her autonomy, so an actual legitimate threat against her that requires her to lay low must be a source of true joy for him. Still, you’d think that a true superhero would also be worrying about, you know, other potential victims who Clown 9 might have a grudge against, like every single other person working on the play with Mary Jane. But whatever, let’s just watch TV at home with MJ and let those other losers take their chances!

Pluggers, 7/14/12

It’s funny because pluggers aren’t qualified for any job important enough to require a background check! Also, they are covered with ticks. Rule of thumb: if your Pluggers strip reminds the reader too forcefully that its main characters are hirsute, vermin-ridden beast-men, it has gone off the rails a bit.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 14, 2012 at 08:26 am and is filed under Pluggers, Spider-Man. |

208 responses to “I think most aphorisms should have a ‘maniacal clown’ exception”

Egg
July 14th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

Peter Parker – the Amazing Ass-hat
teenchy
July 14th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

BB: Apparently the General’s idea of the ideal soldier is Vishnu.
Droopy Says
July 14th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

The Plugger guy got deer ticks from his mate. We’re one step from the first Pluggers STD joke.
Illustrator Steve
July 14th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

MT – No, Rusty. They weren’t trying to shoot the Bighorn. They were sent there to shoot YOU and your little dog too! Ahhh, he-he-he-he-he-he!
Chareth Cutestory
July 14th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Spider-Man: Ralph Waldo Emerson said “If you would know how a man treats his wife and his children, see how he treats his books.” What he would have to say about MJ and her aggressive spiking of the book in panel one, I have no idea.
Doctor Handsome
July 14th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

My only explanation for MJ’s odd body positioning and flustered dismay at Peter’s unexpected return is that she’s gettin’ busy with Sue Storm. Shut up, just let me have this.
geekwhisperer
July 14th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

MT Elrod’s really got it out for pilots lately, eh? Airborne murderers, airborne poachers. I expect the next arc will involve some dudes hydroponically growing weed in the back of their DC-8.

MW Yep. We’re going down. Dawn’s obsession with “Dave” is going to shift to “Davey”, meaning Jones and his locker.
Mibbitmaker
July 14th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Archie: Pop culture portrayal in a nutshell:
Women are irrational, they trap their hapless mates into their self-imposed delusions and insecurities. But, hey, we really side with them (we’re feminists, you know). It’s the men — insensitive pigs and simultaneously weenie little wimps, the hypocritical macho scum.

BBailey: Note to Beetle: STOP READING CRANKSHAFT!

Crank: …on the other hand, this strip is, as it will occasionally do, early-FW funny today. Absurdism is much, much better than malaprop torture, Tommie.

9CL: Oh, Brooke, you know damned well we’re meant to stop reading panel 2 after “cootie”! Don’t pull that “you perv readers” crap, perv!

JP: Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh….. bridal suite! Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh…..
Well, at least the endless everything-falls-into-their-privileged-lap bit is funny for once.

MT: Oh, no! It’s evil poachers!
–oop, my mistake — it’s smugglers. it’s always smugglers.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 14th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

Frazz: nice Snoopy shout-out.

9CL: Love Is. . . .breaking her cooter toy . . . .

A&J: ooo la-la!!

Lio: giant slugs ftw.

SBp: darn tootin!

Zits: uggh. Too hot for pasgetti and meatballs. That’s winter comfort food.

Bizarro: ummmm, that’s not how that works. . .

Mutts: not quite as wonderful as the rest of the week, but still enjoyable.

6Cx: Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome.
teenchy
July 14th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

@teenchy (#2): Oh crap, that comment is directed toward Sunday’s BB, which I read this AM as my paper sends its Sunday supplement with the Saturday edition. On Sunday we just get news, sports, opinion, and arts/entertainment. Sorry if it’s a spoiler.
seismic-2
July 14th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

RMMD: The highlight of the funnies today is the mental image of Liddle Sawah sitting on the couch, enthralled by Foster’s booze-and-sex masterpiece 50 Shades of Grey Goose.
seismic-2
July 14th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

@teenchy (#10): A “spoiler” for Beetle Bailey? Does… not… compute…
Horace Broon
July 14th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

A3G: “What happens now?” “I don’t know. I expected the stork to have arrived by now.”

HtH: Whether the bully worships the old gods or the White Christ, the Muhammadean Compendium of Calculation by Completion and Balancing will make him disappear … to assemble an angry mob that suspects Hamlet of witchcraft.

Phantom: So apparently, if the good guy wrestler has access to a ringer, the noble spirit of Lucha Libre can take a running jump.

RMMD: Great, she can help Rex with the longer words!
TheDiva
July 14th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Pluggers are filthy, filthy creatures.

SM: “The show must go on, even in spite of maniacal clowns!” is going to be my new motto.
debussy fields
July 14th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

MT–Next: Mark Trail punches Sarah Palin!
John C Fremont
July 14th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#y33): Come to think of it, Sam Driver does have a real pretty mouth.

MW – Boy, darkness really pisses the hell out of Wilbur.

Phantom – Doesn’t it occur to them that the crowd just might notice that El Guerrero has suddenly turned bright pink?

(I’m reminded of a story from Heavy Metal years ago – I think it was in Heavy Metal, anyway – where some roaches or ants or whatnot had stumbled upon an open Playboy, saw some nude human pictures, and cried, “Too peeenk! Too peeenk!” I want that to be the crowd’s response.)

JP – Aww. Avery is just so darned happy. Adorably happy.

MT – Boy, Bubba really wants that camera.
The Fake Macoy
July 14th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

FW – We can only hope that someone finally snaps and kills Les. It would be the best if the kitten was the one who finally took him out.

JP – Avery appears to have some sort of look of murderous glee on his face. That is the creepiest thing I have seen in JP, ever.

MW – “What kind of cruise is this?” Excellent, hopefully she continues to be outraged and doesn’t bother thinking about emergency procedures. Soon they’ll both sink into the watery depths.
CanuckDownSouth
July 14th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

And now we approach the summit o’ stupidity – not in FW, but in A3G: after pushing, working contractions, and prodding the kid into position for hours, Nina still has no clue that “birth” means “yes, a watermelon-sized human will come out of your ladygarden”.

(Doesn’t she look like an 11-year-old being told the facts o’ life in panel 2?)
debussy fields
July 14th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

FC–Words actually muttered by Bil Keane himself in 1952: “Kids’ heads are easy to draw. They can be any shape I want.”
CanuckDownSouth
July 14th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#16): The colouring monkeys have both as tan on Darkgate. I think it’s supposed to be implied that Phantom’s using all-over skin dye / makeup.
Teenage Bamm-Bamm
July 14th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Once I had to check my partner (who’s about as hairy as the average plugger) for seed ticks. True story. No fun.
Doctor Handsome
July 14th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

“I’ve got to say, you’re the most impressive candidate I’ve interviewed. Just let me do a quick background check – a formality, really – and we can–ooh. Ooh, it seems that you’re lousy with parasites. We’ve got your contact information on file, thanks a lot for coming in. We’ll let you know.”
TheDiva
July 14th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

9CL: Most of us also remember how stupid and shallow our first infatuation was, your point?

A3G: From the looks of things, poor Tommie thinks “having a baby” is basically the same thing as “getting a prostate exam.”

FW: Keep bitching, Les. You’ve almost sucked all the joy out of this for the rest of your fellow climbers.

Luann: Logic according to Luann:
Absolutely nothing of significance happened in Luann and Quill’s relationship. Luann and Quill had a grand romance tragically cut short.
Absolutely nothing of significance happened in Tiffany and Quill’s relationship. Tiffany is delusional.

MT: Hey Rusty, have you seen North by Northwest?

MW: Dawn’s response to imminent drowning is mild ennui. Life is brutal, indeed.
geekwhisperer
July 14th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

One thing: Friday evenings I’m usually with various family members, Sat AM I hang with the kids (waffles are typically involved) to give Lady Geek a break so I miss the Metapost.

So, even thought it’s late- Huzzay to the floaters! Great stuff this week people. What a great place this is, so rare on the Internet. Looking forward to airborne poachers, soggy sandwiches and another 50mm of dilation for Nina.
Bill the Butcher
July 14th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

I once got a tick after hiking through a forest. It was on the side of my neck, under the collar, and I didn’t discover it until two days later. There’s nothing funny about getting ticks.

Fleas, on the other hand…
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 14th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Shakespearian Hammy.

please, by all that is Good and Holy, let this be worn ironically.

geeky crossover win. times two.

Chibi Loki. (geeksquee!)

meanwhile, in Japan .

lolsnark . . .
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

TASM: What an awkward way of putting it! “The show must go on! Even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

The “even” and “in spite of” are redundant. “Even if there are maniacal clowns!” would work, as would, simply, “In spite of maniacal clowns!”, but both together are witless.

// Duly noted that people do actually talk that way.
Digger
July 14th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

MT: Take a picture of the plane, Rusty. History has taught us that if you do, the pilot will soon track you down and give you five hundred dollars in exchange for your camera.

MW: Wilbur is clearly irate about the lights going out at dinner time. It’s not enough to taste his sandwich, he has to see it in all its splendor. Meanwhile, Dawn continues to peruse her menu. She already knows life is brutal, so an impending disaster at sea is of no surprise to her.

Pluggers: Maybe you should try a tick collar, Mr. Bear. Or maybe you should keep your shirt on the next time you decide to hump your deer wife in the bushes.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 14th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

and squee!!

for bb,u.

Three Little Somethings for Poteet.

Pup, Pup and away!!!

an armful of squeaotter.

corgi with flowers.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 14th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#11): *applaz*

well played, sir or madam!
UncleJeff
July 14th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

A&J: So, we’re celebrating “Bastille Day”.
I wonder what Arlo has in mind?
“The French, they are a funny race….”
Señor Tortilla
July 14th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

S-M: I watched The Amazing Spider-Man yesterday. While it wasn’t perfect, I felt it was better than the 2002 Spider-Man. It’s still kinda jarring compared to this dweeb in the red-and-blue suit.

JP: Avery looks far too happy to be sharing a bed with Sam.

Marvin: Expect Junior to re-grow his fur by next Monday.

MW: “This blackout reminds me of the time Dave and I turned off the lights and had sex.”
UncleJeff
July 14th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#3): Future COTW
Borborygmy
July 14th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#27): Duly noted that people do actually talk that way.

So, Rev. Scudder, let’s give Stan Lee & Co. credit for gritty realism, accurately recording the common solecisms of ordinary speech. And if Spiderman isn’t about gritty realism, what, pray tell, is it about?

// I’d say he pretty much put the mortise right in the tenon, there! That is, the tenon in the mortise. I mean, got to watch one’s metaphors!
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

3G – And that, Dear Reader, is why Nina’s baby was born two years old.

Snuffy – Yak! Yak! Birds over th’ clothesline! It would have been funnier if they hadn’t colored in the white splotches on his clothes.

Cul – “Peter told me that people eat a pound of bugs in their lifetime.”
More than that, actually. They do it by calling them “shrimp.”
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Dick – Awww, he’s a nice guy, except for all the crime and murder and stuff.

Drabble – Wait. How did Norman manage to barf the same amount on every plate?

Hägar – Yes. Read algebra to a bully and he’ll disappear immediately after cramming the entire book — and the workbook, and your slide rule — up your Lucky Eddie.
Bill the Butcher
July 14th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

I’m still working my brain round the perspective in Spidey Panel One there.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Henry – Let’s all remember where we were on this day, Saturday, July 14, 2012; the day Henry ran an honest-to-god pantomime gag that didn’t depend on any dialog or on any signs.
I was here, in the basement.

Judge – “Put ‘em in cabin six… the bridal suite!”
Bubba is a man of rare discernment and discretion.

love is… – Ain’t got nothin’ but love, girl. Five days a week. No, wait. Six. No, wait. Sixteen.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

love is… – Ain’t got nothin’ but love, girl. Five days a week. No, wait. Six. No, wait. Sixteen.

Mary – I hear something… somebody’s coming in… OH MY GOD! THEY’RE DOING ONE OF THOSE CORNBALL MURDER MYSTERIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[Heh heh. I was in a couple of those.]

Pluggers: Slow, hairy people crawling with parasites.

Family – “Clouds are easy to draw! You just do turds and don’t color ‘em!”
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

@curlyfries (#41): I’m with you. “Dancing the mortise and tenon.” What a dado.

@John C Fremont (#16): National Lampoon, 1971. CREECHUR FRUM 20TH CENTURY [spelled sort of like that, anyway], by Michael O’Donoghue and Frank Springer. Insurance salesman in a Buick.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

@curlyfries (#Y36): There’s nothing so pretentious as a specialized reference that’s self-consciously and more-than-awkwardly shoehorned into a sentence … Brooke is an erudition flasher, pure and simple.

There are very few things that are pure and simple, and Brooke is neither, but taking your main point, I agree. That is what McEldowney does: his humor is based on a kind of pretentious solipsistic pedantry. It either amuses you or it doesn’t. I am, mostly, amused; you, clearly, are not.

// I would add, de gustibus non est disputandum, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t amuse you.
John C Fremont
July 14th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#20): Huh. Stupid Washington Post. I took a look over at the SeattlePI, and they had the non-pink coloring. I like the pink better, though. It just seems right.

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#40): Yes!! One would think that one would never forget anything written by Mr. Mike. Sometimes the memory, she lets me down. Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

@teenchy (#10): You get Comics from the Future? Lucky devil.

// Too bad it isn’t sporting news! You could make some money.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#42): ” Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

Oh, I know! That’s Grand Moff Tarkin to Princess Leia in Star Wars, right?
Sequitur
July 14th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

And in case True Fable drops by…
btown
July 14th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

MW: Aah it’s just one of those Vegas-style shows where fake pirates board the ship. All part of the “entertainment”
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#36): Hägar – Yes. Read algebra to a bully and he’ll disappear immediately after cramming the entire book — and the workbook, and your slide rule — up your Lucky Eddie.

Silly Muffaroo, you don’t use a slide rule with algebra!
pastordan
July 14th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

Alley Oop: it was in no way predictable that Alley would stumble across the time-travel mechanism, so stop asking.

Andy Capp: the funniest part about the strip is realizing that Mahoney, Goldsmith and Garnett paid somebody for that gag.

Apt. 3G Panel 1: Tickle tickle…! Panel 2: Now it’s time to have a baby…for breakfast! Also: snap!

Archie: we call this aversive operant conditioning. As in, “It lies about the jean size or it gets the bag again.”

Blondie: Oh Dagwood, if you’d only go on a bender and beat your wife like Andy Capp, you’d sleep like an angel…

Dennis the Menace: the real menace here is senile dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, so laugh! Laugh until you realize that Dennis will someday be your nurse in the poverty-stricken assisted living facility where you will watch the Game Show Network and crap your Depends until the moment of your long-delayed death!

Dilbert is once again less funny than accurate.

So is Frank and Ernest.

As is the Lockhorns.

As is Mark Trail, if you assume that’s Sarah Palin flying around. After all, she has a taste for the most dangerous prey…hideous, bucktoothed little red heads.

Mary Worth: it’s the kind of cruise, Dawn, where the stewards tell you: “Suck it-a up, Signora Buttercup. Life is-a brutal, that’s-a why your father got the-a last-a life jacket.”

Rex Morgan: I knew an alcoholic who was downing a fifth of Johnny Walker every day before she quit. She would have called kipping an extra airline miniature or two “breakfast.” Also, life is brutal Sarah. That’s why we left you alone with Satanic texts to toughen you up.

Tarzan: you can tell someone is a power-mad black thug when they refuse to use contractions. This is means nothing good for Mark Trail.
Dono
July 14th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Interesting reaction, Dawn, but I think there’s a word missing:

“What kind of fershlugginer cruise is this?!”
Faoladh
July 14th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#44): Actually, I suspect that it’s from Game of Thrones.

Or was that “Life is brutal”?
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#47): If you think algebra means there’s no calculations, turn in your Curta!

@pastordan (#48): Life is Brutus. I mean, Bluto.
Alte Ziege
July 14th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#6): SM: On the subject of weird body positions, whose right hand is hovering in front of Peter Parker in panel 2? It looks like it’s perfectly positioned to catch his head if it slips off his neck.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

@Faoladh (#50): Oh, no, “Life is Brutal” is from My Little Pony, but I can see where you could make the mistake.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#51): If you think algebra means there’s no calculations, turn in your Curta!

I checked with Lichtenstein. My warranty ran out in 1972; they won’t take returns.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

JP – No, it’s the Bridle Suite, where Bubba will help with a little horsin’ around with some leather gear and riding crops.
Life is brutal.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

MW – Chill out, Dawn – you’re on a mystery cruise, that’s all.
Ride, Westons, ride, on your mystery ship
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
July 14th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

@Calico (#56): it has 90 feet on the waterline, nice to be making way.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#54): I mean, turn it in to me. The warranty doesn’t matter.
gnome de blog.
July 14th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

It’s probably been said before, but it’s worth a repeat: I’d be way more sulky and irritable than Dawn if I were a 20-year-old woman and my fat idiot father insisted on coming along on my trip to Italy.
sporknpork
July 14th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Either MJ’s laying down with all the pressure on her wrists or standing like she has to go pee pee right now.
ratnerstar
July 14th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

@Digger (#28): That could be a menu Dawn is holding; that would make sense. On the other hand, it could also be a brochure titled “MEN!!” The art doesn’t really favor one interpretation over the other, so I choose to believe that Wilbur has provided his daughter with a list of recommended gigolos from the tourist office.
Greg K
July 14th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Maybe, just maybe, Spiderman could hang out on the top of the theatre and…spot the freakin’ Clown Car from miles away before it actually gets anywhere near the place. Or perhaps, just perhaps, Spiderman could…actually visually identify the freakin’ guy dressed as a garish clown as he approaches the theatre.

He’s Spiderman, for Heaven’s sake. He’s defeated Doctor Doom, the Green Goblin, and the Silver Surfer, to name but a few. He’s worried about a guy dressed as a clown who sprays laughing gas?
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#58): No, I better go to Lichtenstein. If I show up in person, it’ll make a difference. Baka Gaijin will help me deal with these clowns!
Ride Dem Haunches
July 14th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Archie Isn’t a “5″ considered a plus size these days?
odinthor
July 14th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

#Y47. Lynn. –

[...] my 62 rejection letters, etc. [...]

When I see mention of writers’ rejections, I always think of the passage in Jack London’s Martin Eden, in which, after he has gotten little but rejection, and is in deep penury, everything suddenly turns around for no reason at all, or rather for uncomfortably wrong reasons: “‘The Shame of the Sun’ had been the cause of his success more than the stuff he had written. That stuff had been merely incidental. It had been rejected right and left by the magazines. The publication of ‘The Shame of the Sun’ had started a controversy and precipitated the landslide in his favor. Had there been no ‘Shame of the Sun’ there would have been no landslide, and had there been no miracle in the go of ‘The Shame of the Sun’ there would have been no landslide. Singletree, Darnley & Co. attested that miracle. They had brought out a first edition of fifteen hundred copies and been dubious of selling it. They were experienced publishers and no one had been more astounded than they at the success which had followed. To them it had been in truth a miracle. They never got over it, and every letter they wrote him reflected their reverent awe of that first mysterious happening. They did not attempt to explain it. There was no explaining it. It had happened. In the face of all experience to the contrary, it had happened. So it was, reasoning thus, that Martin questioned the validity of his popularity. It was the bourgeoisie that bought his books and poured its gold into his money-sack, and from what little he knew of the bourgeoisie it was not clear to him how it could possibly appreciate or comprehend what he had written. His intrinsic beauty and power meant nothing to the hundreds of thousands who were acclaiming him and buying his books. He was the fad of the hour, the adventurer who had stormed Parnassus while the gods nodded. The hundreds of thousands read him and acclaimed him with the same brute non-understanding with which they had flung themselves on Brissenden’s ‘Ephemera’ and torn it to pieces–a wolf-rabble that fawned on him instread of fanging him. Fawn or fang, it was all a matter of chance.” (near the end of Chapter XLIII.) I have some experience in this–as it happens, mirabile dictu, my first book was accepted by the first publisher I sent it to–and will state that what London writes above is the “truest truth” I’ve ever read about getting one’s book published. It’s a sort of miracle when it happens; and, in the ways in which one’s manuscript is most dear to one, it is a meaningless, unsatisfying miracle, even a sort of threatening one. The only balm for the writer’s soul is to have the assurance that one has indeed written something meritorious; once that has been achieved, everything else relating to book publishing seems to fade in importance, everything else seems like the random madcap and distorted happenings in a carnival fun-house. Just keep saying to yourself, “it’s the work that matters . . . it’s the work that matters . . . ,” and keep at it. If the miracle is going to happen, it will happen; if not, still your work is there, and it has not been in vain.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#63): Lichtenstein died in 1997! Oh no!
Victory Garden
July 14th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#18): Love that term. Will co-opt.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 14th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Archie — Far too many “jokes” in this strip revolve around female-on-male violence. Still, you have to wonder how the average reader would respond if the gender roles were reversed. Would a strip in which Archie loses his cool and smashes Veronica over the head with a heavy object still be considered funny? And if not, why?
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Drabble: I bet Ralph is having the pesce spada alla palermitana.
John C Fremont
July 14th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#44): Close.

Now I’m off to buy overpriced food at John C Fremont Days. There is a promise of Dippin’ Dots! And some place called Happy D. Clown. I shall avoid the clown place. That’s just common sense.
Sgt. Stoned
July 14th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#4): MT: That’s right. Mark cut a deal with Mike Harris…”I won’t turn that gum wrapper over to the Sheriff if you do a little job for me.”
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#70): Are you going to the Spam recipe cook-off? Careful, not too much iocane powder, you can get a headache.
Sgt. Stoned
July 14th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

MW: That BAM!! is just the beginning of a little dinner theatre. Spoiler alert for Wilbur and Dawn: Norm Drabble is the murderer.
Poteet
July 14th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

@Izzy (#Y32): Thank you for that insight! You poor soul, have some chicken soup…
CanuckDownSouth
July 14th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

@Victory Garden (#67): credit where it’s due: I got it from The Bloggess
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#39): Heh. Testing a theory that the more times I post a comment, the better chance it has to get on the… uh… never mind.
Liam
July 14th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

FC-Men are trickier because they already have a shape and Dolly really has to struggle to get them to change to the shape she wants them in.

MW-That is the last time we book a cruise on the S.S. Poseidon.

MW 2-So we go from what was intended to be the Love Boat to the Poseidon Adventure.

MW 3-Just relax, Dawn, I’m sure Captain Morte has everything well in hand.

MT-Those guys are some terrible shots when they can’t hit Rusty.

A3G-Wow! Nina really is unprepared for a kid if she doesn’t know what happens now. Once that kid is born Tommie needs to take it to Social Services.

A3G-Tommie will pull Mr. Groundhog out of Nina’s hole and if it sees it’s shadow then that is six more weeks of pregnancy for Nina.
Poteet
July 14th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29): They’re very photogenic, and yet somehow humble…
commodorejohn
July 14th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Agnes – YEARGH, BRAIN BLEACH.

A3G – Oh, is that all.

A&J – Brooke, this is how you do gleefully dirty obscurantism.

Crankshaft – Wait, what. Since when is Crankshaft funny?

DT – I suppose the moral here is supposed to be that crime doesn’t pay, but the lesson I’m getting is more that tromping around in the middle of a firefight with Dick Tracy is a spectacularly dumb idea, particularly when you’re an out-of-shape comics nerd. At least he’s a good sport about it.

FW – The looks of quiet despair on the faces of every other climber are quite appropriate. Just imagine what kind of Hell it must be to have to put up with Les for hours on end…

JP – EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW EWW

Luann – In Greg Evans’s fantasy life, teenage girls love to talk about how they almost had sex but failed to in public. Yeah, I’m sure we’re all terribly surprised by this.

MT – Psst, Rusty, the lower half of your face has come loose.

MW – “Prepare for trouble!” “Make it double!”

Popeye – …!?!?

RMMD – *beverage spew*

Ripley’s – I’m sure Bridgette Jordan of Sandoval, Illinois really appreciates being drawn as Ed Asner.
Vanya
July 14th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

MW: I don’t know about this story line. Danger on a cruise ship? Do the writers really want to go there with Mary Worth’s demographic?

9CL: Hah! It’s funny cuz Edda and Amos have known each other so long their relationship is basically incest!

Monty: Nice political turn today.
Chaze126
July 14th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

I nominate MJ for COTW right now. I cannot come up with a smartass comment ny better than:

“Peter Parker! You know the show must go on! Even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

Go ahead. Top it. You can’t.
Sequitur
July 14th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Baldo: Yum! Black ketchup!
Liam
July 14th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Blondie-How I wish it was the type of camp that Elmo wouldn’t be coming home from.

Dennis the Menace-The reason Dennis’ grandfather forgets to take his pills is that he knows his family is trying to kill him.

Dustin-You know what they say about guys with big feet.

FW-There’s always down, down, down.
Chaze126
July 14th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

I KNEW the other shoe would have to drop in Rex Morgan. The smug ugly kid has been strangely quiet sitting there on the couch with what appeared to be a laptop. Nooooo…it’s the bodice ripping novel/screenplay she’s been reading. Avenging angel June will have her revenge. Set the damned thing on fire, June! Burn it!
bats :[
July 14th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

@John C Fremont (#16): dang, EVERYONE is after Rusty! Or that old bighorn! Or something!
pastordan
July 14th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Rusty right about now: WHERE IS A GODDAMN BEAR WHEN I NEED ONE?!
Sequitur
July 14th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Now let’s turn to Ripley’s…

ANT HADLEIGH of Cairns, Australia, found a golden orb weaver spider that had successfully trapped, killed and begun to eat a BROWN TREE SNAKE

And in Australia they have trained ants to present the news!
The Ridger
July 14th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#68): Would a strip in which Archie loses his cool and smashes Veronica over the head with a heavy object still be considered funny? And if not, why? Because humor lies in the subversion of expectation, and men beating up women is too common to be funny.

Of course the rich beating up the poor is also pretty common.
Zerowolf
July 14th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

MW: A short one, life is brutal, bitch.
Zerowolf
July 14th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

A3G: Now it’s time to have a baby. Margo has some delicious recipes.
The Fake Macoy
July 14th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

@Faoladh (#50): “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” is from the Princess Bride. Seriously, none of you got that? You guys should really watch that movie if you haven’t, you’re missing out.
Liam
July 14th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Spiderman-I’ve also obsessively washed my hands after everything I touch like you said also.
JuneBizzle
July 14th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Clown 9 as the new villain in Amazing Spider-Man 2! I’m calling it! Plus, Goggle-Eyes of Horror in Pluggers!?!? Although the humanoid rabbit-beast uses them for a legitimate reason, so this clearly isn’t the Shoe universe (Shoeniverse?).
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

GA:
I got a Blu Ray here,
It’s made by Pioneer,
And here’s a guy that says that if the channel’s clear,
Can do, can do…
un malpaso
July 14th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

re: Pluggers: If your next job’s ACTUAL background check uncovers too many ticks, you probably aren’t the right person for the job anyway.

But remember, as Nietzsche said, “What does not kill me makes me stronger, in spite of maniacal clowns.”
NoahSnark
July 14th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

Printing a submission from Dick Dahl seems a good way to subtly let your readers know that the strip is blue collar furry porn.
un malpaso
July 14th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

@The Fake Macoy (#91): I remember the quote a bit differently… “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something, in spite of maniacal clowns.”

Hey, this is fun!
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

@The Fake Macoy (#91): [Actually, Princess Bride is a movie so well-known to this crowd that the joke comes in pretending to misidentify a reference to it.]
teenchy
July 14th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#43): Yeah, I’d be even luckier if they were good comics.
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#27): Thanks. That bothered me, too. I’d fix it by saying, “… even regardless despite in spite of …”
bats :[
July 14th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@Dono (#49): Indeed!
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@The Fake Macoy (#91): Has it got any sports?
Gabacho
July 14th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – I’m pretty sure Dawn’s next comment will be, “Why does everything happen to me?!”
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

@un malpaso (#97): even in spite of maniacal clowns!

FTFY
Poteet
July 14th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

PLUGGERS — I know several people who have gotten Lyme disease. If there really were some kind of safe, effective human-tick-collar equivalent, a lot of people would wear it. My current record for most ticks found on my clothes at one time is twenty-six, ugh.
This Guy
July 14th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Didn’t Dawn know that they signed up for the survival-horror LARP cruise? Remember to grab a flashlight and conserve your ammo, guys!

Friday’s Shortpacked! is, ah, very impressive (but not entirely SFW.)
Dono
July 14th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

@bats :[ (#101):

I’m honored!
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#102): I won’t watch any movie that doesn’t involve someone getting murdered by pirates.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#108): Check out My Dinner With Andre — fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles — it’s right up you’re alley!

// …even in spite of maniacal clowns!
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

JP – hahahahahhaha!
My Mom and Dad never censored anything from me. I was reading Playboy and National Lampoon at age 8.
(There were some excellent jounalists writing for PB, actually, and I never really noticed the T & A for the articles)
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#94): It’s like the funny version of the comment I was thinking of writing!

@Frank Lee Meidere (#108): How about DINER? “75 cents for apple? 79 for cherry? 88 cents for banana cream? These pie rates are killing me!” [*]
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 14th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

S-M: That’s right, MJ. You can’t let a little competition from Cirque du Soleil discourage you.

MT: Falcon: I know, kid. I’ve got eyes.

Dustin: I’m hoping that Kelley and Parker get threatening messages from the Zits people. “Back off, assholes. Clown sized shoes are our thing!”

Ziggy: “Because I’m about to read a few relevant passages from the Bardo Thodol. Don’t cling to this life.”

FW: That’s all the guide can stands and he can’t stands no Moore.

9CL: “Broke her cootie bug toy”? That’s too much information and a horrible euphemism for hymen.

BC: “That’s hilarious, Curls. But what’s a wife?”

JP: The bridal suite, even. Avery is grinning like he doesn’t get Bubba’s insinuation. Or like he does.

RMMD: What’s better? Rex trying yet again to knock Iris off her rickety wagon? Or June belatedly realizing that her daughter is reading squishy porn? I myself can’t decide.

HtH: Hernia gives a wondrous explanation of why math nerds never get beat up. Now I’ll have no trouble believing in the dragons in this strip.

GT: “He remembered Molly Kinsella, and then he went straight to his room. After he grabbed some hand cream from the bathroom, that is. I wonder what that’s all about.”

Phantom: El Guerrero Latino and El Guerrero Latino in The Parent Trap.

Luann: Tiffany interrupts Luann’s smug kiss-and-tell, thus providing a vital public service.

SSmith: Low’eezy’s dialogue today written by George Lucas.

H&J: Herb seems to have spent a lot more time listening to that bullshit spiel than I would have.

A3G: At this point I’m pretty sure that the white shirts all three of them are wearing wouldn’t be so white. Add bodily fluids to the list of things that don’t exist on Earth 3-G.
Edgy DC
July 14th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

I probably should escort you to and from the theater tonight, MJ., but it’s kind of a hassle, you know?
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 14th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

@Doctor Handsome (#6):

My only explanation for MJ’s odd body positioning and flustered dismay at Peter’s unexpected return is that she’s gettin’ busy with Sue Storm. Shut up, just let me have this.

I wouldn’t dream of discouraging you there.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 14th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#39):

Mary – I hear something… somebody’s coming in… OH MY GOD! THEY’RE DOING ONE OF THOSE CORNBALL MURDER MYSTERIES! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!

So they finally got around to that Mary Worth/Drabble crossover?
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

I’ll bet Widdle Sawah found the minis in Iris’s room, too. Way to get a headstart.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#115): It would have been a dead giveaway if I’d included the word “barf.”
Snarkotix Addict
July 14th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Luann I’m wondering which is worse: Tiffany’s outrageous lies or Luann’s pathetic truth. We could flip a coin, but I think I know which I’d choose.

MW I love it that Wilbur and Dawn are still reading their menus.
Captain: “This is an emergency, please proceed to the deck and prepare to board the lifeboats.”
Wilbur: “I asked for first seating and, dammit, I am not going to miss dinner!”
Dawn: “Maybe I’ll order something quick, like a salad.”

A3G There really should be a warning label on this strip. I never, ever want to read the words “fully dilated” on the comics page again.
Poteet
July 14th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

9CL — Why do I do this to myself?
Liam
July 14th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

Archie-With pants that tight you don’t want a visible panty line, Veronica, so I recommend that you don’t wear any panties.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

@Liam (#120):
Or just don’t wear any pants.
But then, haha, she’d be like Ziggy!
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#119):
Life is Burber. : (
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

@Snarkotix Addict (#118):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6aYLOf8CUQ
Sequitur
July 14th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#119): Oh? Did the masochistic gene kick in?
Snarkotix Addict
July 14th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#123): Very funny – I’ve never seen her before.
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#109): You just reminded me of a piece a friend of mine did, My Dinner with Andre the Giant.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

@Snarkotix Addict (#125):
Sort of an inverse of what Wilbur and Dawn are doing.
Julie is a good solid actress – she was the best thing about the film “Buster.”
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#111): Ouch. Seriously. Ouch.
Chaze126
July 14th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

So, the bear in Pluggers is clearly gay, which is fine, as “bears” are very much in fashion these days. Which brings me back to Wilbur, as most things here usually do. Did he book himself and Dawn on a bear cruise? Will hilarity ensue as Wilbur enters contests and Dawn throws herself overboard? I’m just sayin…
Alison
July 14th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

“Luann”: Damn, these people are hard up for anything vaguely sexual. Luann’s story is basically “A guy and I almost had sex, except then we didn’t.” In real life, that would be met with comments like, “Um, big deal. Is that all that happened?” In the “Luann” world it’s met with wide eyes, gasps, and “Ooooohhh!” comments.
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

@Alison (#130): It’s interesting to compare Evans and McEldowney in this respect. McEldowney fills his strips with nudity and sexual images, then condemns anyone who sees anything sexual. Evans, on the other hand, shows a male and female in some degree of proximity and asks that we envision an entire affair.

Huh. I was wrong. It wasn’t all that interesting after all.
CanuckDownSouth
July 14th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

@Alison (#130): “almost had sex” – nowhere near. It boils down to “we touched hands and considered maybe over the course of months getting to French-kissing – and then we were interrupted”
Red Greenback
July 14th, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

You’re fully dilated, Nina, and the baby is in position – even in spite of maniacal clowns!
Alison
July 14th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#132):
I agree they didn’t really come near sex, but since, in the “Luann” world, even kissing seems to be looked at as some kind of naughty and disgusting thing*, I’m guessing that Quill and Luann lying on her bed together making comments about going further would count in Luann’s little ol’ brain as “almost having sex”.

*Haven’t Brad and Toni not even kissed yet, even though their relationship is so serious that Toni threatened to quit her firefighter job because Brad lost his? I may be wrong about this, but I think they haven’t even kissed yet.

@Frank Lee Meidere (#131): Whoa, I haven’t paid much attention to McEldowney’s strip, but it sounds almost as infuriating as “Luann”! …Almost.
commodorejohn
July 14th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@Red Greenback (#133): Comment. Of. The. Week.
Snarkotix Addict
July 14th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

@Alison (#134): Yes, as disgusting a thought as it seems, I’m pretty sure they have kissed. But mostly they sit around and sort of cuddle and use really obtuse innuendos about how hot they are. And they do this weird thing where Toni pushes her back up against Brad’s side. I guess that is safe because it keeps their genitals in a position where it is physically impossible for them to touch.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

@Red Greenback (#133): You know Uncle Lumpys GUToC[*]? That everything is funnier if you add “in my pants!” to the end?

Scudder’s Corollary: Funniest with “even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

// No. Do NOT combine the two. EISOMCIMP is too much for mere mortals to bear.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#135): [*] Oh, it’s ok, but it would have been funnier with a slide rule in it.
Little A.
July 14th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

MW: this strip is so stupidly “written,” don’t be surprised if the ship ran in to an iceberg.

Yeah, I know they are off the coast of Italy, what does that have to do with anything?

Hey, if Rusty can photograph bighorn sheep in Georgia, Wilbur and Dawn’s ship can run in to an iceberg in the Mediterranean Sea.
Alison
July 14th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

@Snarkotix Addict (#136):
“And they do this weird thing where Toni pushes her back up against Brad’s side.”

Oh my gosh. The mental image of these two doing this is both making me laugh because it’s just so darn odd, and at the same time making me feel kind of sick. It’s like what people would do if, for some reason, they had no idea what sex was, but read about it in a book and decided to try it, except they did it wrong because the book wasn’t very clear and they didn’t really understand the concept.
Jamus The Bartender
July 14th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Archie: Veronica has a sentimental weakness for her boyfriend Archie. She spoils him, as you can see. He talks when he should be listening to Veronica bitch about her fat hips.

Doonesbury: Hard Travelin’ comic strip heroes. Looking for America.

Luann: Tiffany. You once went to Hollywood to find a dream. You’re BETTER than this.
A Woman of a Certain Age
July 14th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

DtM: You know, Dennis is right. I never forget to take my chocolate calcium chews. Or my fruit-flavored chewable vitamin C. “Medicine as candy” – a dangerous idea for kids, but works well for us ol–, er, I mean those of us of a certain age.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Pluggers or Country Bear Jamboree? You decide.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

@Jamus The Bartender (#141): Doonesbury: Hard Travelin’ comic strip heroes. Looking for America.
Shades of the first Doonesbury Sunday page I ever saw! (“This one looks dumb enough to pay the tolls all the way to Frisco.”) I remember the dialog because I had it up on my wall for a couple of years.
gbeenie
July 14th, 2012 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man – Don’t you get it, Peter Parker? If your wife stays at home because of some low-concept, poorly-executed supervillain, then the low-concept, poorly-executed supervillains will have WON. You tell ‘im, Mary Jane!
Anonymous
July 14th, 2012 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#137): In re: Scudder’s Corollary – Hmm … Well, let’s try some out:

“Maybe we can see the bighorns from here – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

“A few more minutes and it would’ve been … VERY special – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

“Life is brutal – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

Well, to misquote Meat Loaf rather badly, two out of three is pretty good.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

@Gabacho (#103):
Oh, just cut it, Dawn.
You could be Luann, after all.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

@Alison (#140):
Well, turtles (at least some) mate tail to tail, don’t they?
And the characters in Luann sort of look like turtles.
Calico
July 14th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

@Red Greenback (#133):
But will she give birth to a maniacal clown?
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 14th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

@A Woman of a Certain Age (#142): And if I learned anything from the candy cigarettes of my youth, it’s that cigarettes taste better if you chew them.
A Woman of a Certain Age
July 14th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#150): Loved the candy cigarettes! So cool to pretend you were smoking! My parents were non-smokers (unusual in that day) and wouldn’t let me buy them, so I had to sneak around and bum them from friends. And no, I never moved on to the real thing. I apparently inherited at least some of my parents’ good sense.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

@A Woman of a Certain Age (#151): I liked the taste of candy cigarettes, and of course, the posing. One time we were driving back from Colorado Springs, and sitting in the back of the station wagon, passing a candy cigarette around to see if we could fool anybody. I pretended to choke on it slightly.

Sometimes more fun, but only briefly, were the wrapped sticks of bubblegum that looked like cigarettes. The fun part was blowing the powdered sugar out so it looked (to our uncritical eyes) like a puff of smoke. After that, it was just gum.
Poteet
July 14th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#124): I broke free of McEldowney’s maddening little world for a couple of months, but then I went back. Of my own free will. Today’s moan was a lapse in self-control. Snark, don’t moan, that’s my future motto.
seismic-2
July 14th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

@A Woman of a Certain Age (#151): Did you ever try to light up a candy cigarette? Almost all the kids I knew I knew tried that at one time or another, just to see whether it would work.
bourbon babe,unbuckled
July 14th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29): I spent the afternoon hiking with a couple of adorable dogs and meeting even more on the trail—heaven!
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 14th, 2012 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe,unbuckled (#155): I just walked around the neighborhood without meeting a single dog. I feel cheated. Walking around is how I get my free dog fix.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 14th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#35): I wonder if that’s why Nina’s mother died: she was as stupid and slow about birth as her daughter, and ended up dying in the attempt to birth a toddler?
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 14th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#79): Having been on a number of outdoor expeditions, I can tell you that if that leader’s worth his salt at all, there’s got to be a point where he hauls Les aside by the ear and tells him to shut up or go home.

It’s not just annoying; it’s unsafe to have someone who brings down the morale of the group in such a continuous, never-ending fashion. It’s also hard to tell when the complainer has a real concern that must be addressed before it spirals into an expedition-stopper, because of the whole crying-wolf thing.

Occasional grouchiness or whininess is one thing (I’m guilty of that myself, as are most of the outdoors folk I know, especially before coffee) but an inability to put a sock in it when your bad attitude is bringing down the rest of the team is a real liability.

Given that Les has shown no interest in shutting up, or any ability to pick up on the hints and broad statements that he needs to get over himself, I’d be inclined to delegate my team leader (Wait, there isn’t one? Well, that’s a real smart idea, right there; as if the presence of the kitten wasn’t an indication that this is a half-assed expedition, that seals it.) to accompany Les (and the kitten!) back down to base camp and let him stew there while the rest of the group continues on without him.

Up to Summer to decide whether she’d rather stick with her dad, or climb a mountain; trying to do both is hurting the rest of the people on this thing, who I doubt signed up for days of Whiny Les.

//Apologies for the rant. You never know when a comic’s going to poke a sore spot, do you?
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 14th, 2012 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#105): Ew…. (Even the thought of ticks makes me do the Tick Dance, which sort of resembles the Macarena, only with more shuddering and less hip-swinging.)
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 14th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#119): Because it feels so good when we stop? (Well, that, and the opportunities for snarkage.)
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 14th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

Oooookay, that’s a lot of posts in a row. Sorry, folks. I guess a long day at work (freelancer, no days off, sigh) has made me punchy and needing to vent.
Liam
July 14th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

Spiderman-Mary Jane has to go to the theater. That’s her job. Somebody in that house has to be bringing in the money and I don’t think they could survive on what Jameson pays Peter for pictures.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 14th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#161): Your comments are always welcome here, so vent away.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 14th, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#161): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#163): “Your comments are always welcome here, so vent away.”

…Even in spite of the maniacal clowns!
Darryl Heine
July 14th, 2012 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

NOT FEATURED:

Peanuts 1965 – Snoopy goes back to eating after his attempts as an “It Was a Dark and Stormy Night” novelest.

Blondie – Did Dagwood get amnesia not knowing Elmo is off to Summer Camp?
Sequitur
July 14th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#164): Did someone say maniacal clowns?
commodorejohn
July 14th, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#158): In a just world, this would culminate in the group selecting Summer to deal with him; drawing on the years and years he’s made it his mission to purposefully embarass her in front of absolutely anybody and everybody and stunt her personal growth so that there’s no risk of her ever leaving him, and with the entire rest of the tour group lending her their spirit energy, she punts him so hard that he’s mortared right off the mountain and sails clear down to the base, where he impacts in a slop of blood and bone and organ fragments.

Hey, a guy can dream.
Rocky Stoneaxe
July 14th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

@Sequitur (#166): Joker Squirrel approves of your post:

http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mutts/2012-07-14/
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#167): Yay! A proper use of “impact” as a verb!
Frank Lee Meidere
July 14th, 2012 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#164): So. It’s come to this. Even in spite of maniacal clowns.
Spiff Bereft
July 15th, 2012 at 12:04 am [Reply]

Spiderman: “A watched pot never boils – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”
“Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”
“You wouldn’t treat me this way if I weren’t in this chair – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”
“I’m Batman – even in spite of maniacal clowns!”

You’re right! It works everywhere!
Sequitur
July 15th, 2012 at 12:06 am [Reply]

@Spiff Bereft (#171): Baka Gaijin travels freely throughout Europe despite maniacal clowns!

Maybe we’re stretching it here.
odinthor
July 15th, 2012 at 12:14 am [Reply]

@odinthor (#65):

One can get one’s manuscript published, despite maniacal clowns!

Well, actually . . . one gets one’s manuscript published because of maniacal clowns. Hm. So how about: One can get one’s manuscript published . . . in my pants! There. Much better.
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#161): Your posts were all interesting and made sense. Certain comic strips could learn a lot from you.

Re ticks, please pardon if this is a repeat, but I’ve taken part in discussions about the most interesting places we have been when we found ticks on ourselves. A wedding and a funeral were among the winners. Many years ago I saw one crawling up the back of a guy sitting in a college class in front of me, and I don’t remember if I did/said anything. Today I would. I don’t dance around when I think about ticks as much as I run my hands nervously through my hair, checking it over and over until I look like some insane version of Albert Einstein. I’ve been told there is a cartoon character called The Tick, ugh. I’d have an easier time liking a character called Constant Flatulence.
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#158): I hope Cayla is taking this opportunity to get everything she owns out of that house, pack it into a U-haul, and move to a distant city, leaving no forwarding address. Do it, Cayla! It’s not too late!
Frank Lee Meidere
July 15th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#174): Little known fact: Dorothy Parker settled upon the byline “Constant Reader” only after having first considered, but ultimately rejecting “Constant Flatulence.”
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

MT — Iowa has paddlefish, and they are amazing creatures. I like seeing paddlefish featured in MT, even in spite of maniacal clowns!
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#176): BWAHAHA!
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:52 am [Reply]

MW — Look at Toby’s face of suffering martyrdom. She’s thinking that she is definitely going to start asking for more money for going on these little walks and asking the questions on the cue cards Mary hands her before they start out.
Droopy Says
July 15th, 2012 at 12:53 am [Reply]

A3G This delivery needs John Belushi. “Hey, Scott, know what Nina is?” (squeeze, pop, splat) “A zit!”

Creepy Les: If a rabid ape shows up, tell Les it’s a Mighty Joe Young hallucination.

(Crap. If hypoxia is that big an issue, this tour should have included a medical exam before departure, and have made provisions to supply both emergency oxygen and medical evacuations.)

Family Circus: Hide and seek? That’s Thel’s story and she’s sticking with it, no matter what the garbage-disposal repairman says.

Motel Hell: Enjoy the new digs, Avery.

Spiderzero: For all his shenanigans, Asi-9 didn’t attack anyone in the audience. As for the people who are buying tickets tonight, I didn’t realize it was possible to live in Manhattan and be that bored. “Honey, that godawful flop ‘Picture Perfect’ was disrupted by a clown last night, let’s go see it in case that happens again! Oh, come on, it couldn’t possibly have been a PR gimmick!”
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

JP — If the scheme is to whack Avery and Sam on the head and roll their bodies into whatever body of water they’re next to, I say go for it. It’s all part of the Divine Plan to prevent the waste of a lot of money on a really bad movie.
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 1:00 am [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#180): Hypoxia isn’t good for kittens, either. Crap indeed.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 15th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

The beauty of it is that the phrase “Even in spite of the maniacal clowns” is exactly ten syllables, two iambs and two dactyls, I think. Easily fits into sonnets or blank verse:

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns,
I all alone bewail my fate,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns

To be, or not to be, that is the question,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns.

Much have I travell’d in the realms of gold,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns,

I am Sam, Sam I am,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns

Maybe a roundel or something?
Nehemiah Scudder
July 15th, 2012 at 1:09 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#176): True. Her catchphrase, “What fresh smell is this?”, didn’t seem to be working.
Droopy Says
July 15th, 2012 at 1:13 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#182): I just googled material on Kilimanjaro tours. Here’s one well-organized site:

http://www.ultimatekilimanjaro.com/?gclid=CKz_gJDymrECFcqe7QodHCEijg

They have a lot to say about health precautions and preparations, much of which Batiuk has ignored, (It’s obvious he did some research, but he doesn’t seem to have done much with the results.)

That kitten is going to be an endless flaw in this arc. I don’t know what you can do with a kitten in a situation like this, other than wait for it to die. But it wouldn’t surprise me if Batiuk turns this into a “Lion King” riff, with the kitten as the short-lost heir to Kilimanjaro Throne.

Just don’t let it save Les from death. Cats are above such evil.
Baka Gaijin
July 15th, 2012 at 1:14 am [Reply]

@Sequitur (#172): EEEEEE! QLUNQue! [French QLUNQ!]
Nehemiah Scudder
July 15th, 2012 at 1:29 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#182): Hypoxia sounds like a great name for a shepherdess in a 17thC pastoral poem:

Why praise Hypoxia the swains all inquire,
Even in spite of the maniacal clowns?
Sure she’s all a shepherd could desire,
By far excelling the maids in the towns.
Girl Reporter
July 15th, 2012 at 1:30 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#183): @Frank Lee Meidere (#176): @Nehemiah Scudder (#184):

See! See? This kind of stuff is what brings me back to this site time and again. Well, and games of assless chaps badminton.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 15th, 2012 at 1:31 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#164): Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh. ;)
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
July 15th, 2012 at 1:35 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#174): The Tick the Character is pretty cool, actually. He’s big and blue and doofy (and hard to kill, hence his name).

Re: the less entertaining sorts of ticks – There was this one time I was with my parents visiting some friends of theirs, and we kids were told about ticks not long after we’d been romping around in some of the grass nearby. My dad happened to be videoing us shortly after this announcement was made, and I look like I have some sort of nervous disorder in it, because I was checking for ticks over and over and over. GLAH.
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 1:36 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#184): @Nehemiah Scudder (#187): Dang, you’re good.
greghousesgf
July 15th, 2012 at 1:43 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#190): SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
Poteet
July 15th, 2012 at 1:46 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#190): I was amazingly ignorant and carefree about ticks for years, even though I frequented places where they lived. The first time I found one (on my neck), I was driving on a Detroit-area eight-lane interstate, and it’s a good thing there wasn’t much traffic because I slid across three lanes while screaming. I’m hardened now. I’m not saying I actually would kill The Tick, but I could. Yes.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
July 15th, 2012 at 1:46 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#174): Just in case I have any credibility, The Tick is one of the great comic characters of my time. He’s a big lunk, probably slightly deranged. He apparently picked his name without much consideration of what it entailed, and when a guy at a diner challenges him on it, he impetuously doubles down. “Yeah, I suck blood! I suck blood all the time!!”

Carries a View-Master around his neck that he believes is a Crime Finder or something. His translation to TV cartoon form represents a triumph of the medium. (“Good Lord! They’re firing DOGS at us!”)

At least don’t think ill of him. He’s sincere as hell.
Nehemiah Scudder
July 15th, 2012 at 2:10 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#194): Seconded. Tick is good.

// EISOMC
Nehemiah Scudder
July 15th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#191): Thank your. [bows] One endeavors to get the tenon in the mortise.
Frank Lee Meidere
July 15th, 2012 at 2:31 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#191): I agree. I think he has a team of writers working for him. Or Joss Whedon. Maybe Sorkin.
Mr. O'Malley
July 15th, 2012 at 2:36 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#183):

Mary had a little iamb
Its syllables just so
In spite of maniacal clowns
On Kilimanjaro
Charly
July 15th, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

9CL: I immediately close the tab when I see Thorax. Now THAT is a powerful villain!

Luann: Sunday’s strip continues to reveal Tiffany’s deep-seated self-esteem issues. What seventeen-year-old has such deep-seated anxiety about finding a life partner? (Okay, fine, all of them, but still, verbalizing it non-ironically is something.) Also, it reconfirms that Grevans is stuck in the early ’90s; any reader of Babe Walker knows that a milky white “geisha-like” complexion is the epitome of chic.
Erich Clapton
July 15th, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

9CL: Get help. Seriously. An off-the-shoulder? Did you check with our own Fashion Police?
Cranky: Jimmy Page, in the later years.
tallyHO
July 15th, 2012 at 2:54 am [Reply]

Other than the Blue* Man group Hijacking (or Hi-jinxing?) Wilbur Worrisome’s vacation cruise, was there anything funny in the Sunday Strips?

*Dave’s ____s were blue. Oh why did he dump me?–Dawn Worrisome**

** I censored myself because I don’t work blue. haha.
Baka Gaijin
July 15th, 2012 at 3:18 am [Reply]

And now we know how far Norm from My Cage has fallen: robbing a bank in Slylockland on Sunday.

Of course, as Pluggers age, the dog gets smaller. Great-grandchildren are usually very young.
Dale
July 15th, 2012 at 5:29 am [Reply]

MT – Paddlefish have been swimming … since the Jurassic period, and boy,
are their fins tired.

Speaking of tired: How old is Rusty supposed to be and are we to assume that he has normal intelligence?
Droopy Says
July 15th, 2012 at 6:38 am [Reply]

@Dale (#203): I think Rusty is like that accident-prone kid on Lassie. No telling what age he is, and he’s never quite bright enough to stay out of trouble. Odds are that when the unmarked airplane lands, he’ll stand there and let the poachers take his camera.
Liam
July 15th, 2012 at 6:44 am [Reply]

@Dale (#203):

Judging by the way Mark is always finding some way to get out of a fishing trip with Rusty and Rusty hasn’t caught on to it by now I would say that he is far below normal intelligence.
Faoladh
July 15th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

@The Fake Macoy (#91): I, uh, did get that. It isn’t funny to just get it, though. It may not really be funny the other way, either, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
Tonya
July 16th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

ASM – Hey, didn’t MJ’s ponytail have a plot line a few months back? Did it come to some sort of resolution that I missed? I can’t help but notice that she’s back to her classic Marvel style but unlike the ponytail it seems to have occurred without a week long build up/explanation.
Tonya
July 16th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – or that they cater to a lice-ridden populace

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I think most aphorisms should have a ‘maniacal clown’ exception

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