Gingers of the world, unite!
Marvin, 1/27/08
Non-redheaded persons who read this, heed my words! We redheaded folk may, as my hairdresser cheerfully informed me when I went to get a haircut last week, be going extinct, but like the mighty but doomed polar bear, we demand a certain degree of respect on the way out! For instance, in the matter of metaphorical color terms used to describe us, we are fine with the classic “redhead” or simply “red”; also acceptable are “ginger,” “rusty,” “strawberry blond” (for certain hues), and, if you’re feeling risque, “firecrotch.” “Raspberry” strikes me as a little off, and … tomato? Tomato? Please. Let’s never speak of this incident again.
Despite the totally radical and extreme dream-based snowboarding going on in most of this comic, due to its weird background the final panel is the only one in which it actually appears to be snowing. This implies that at some point in the middle of winter, Marvin’s parents put him and his bed outside while he was sleeping, a move that I very much approve of. Perhaps they chose to expose their child to the elements after one too many mornings waking up to the horrifying vision in the throwaway panel in the top row.
Mary Worth, 1/27/08
And Vera’s reign as the most normal person in the Drew-Dawn-Vera love triangle comes to an end … now. The weird generic blandness in the art here makes it unclear whether the clean-cut blondie in the final panel is supposed to be her brother Von or some new paramour, but either possibility is a weird enough choice for a get-together-with-an-old-flame meeting as to totally justify Dr. Drew’s epic head swivel in the final panel.
Turning to something with more personality than any of the humans in this scenario, let’s take a look at the sign being partially blocked by Drew’s brylcreemed noggin. I’m specifically intrigued by the top placard, which has a picture of some sort of white, foamy topping illustrating the exhortation to “ADD S[redacted]“. Since there’s enough room on the sign for one or two more letters, tops, and none of the synonyms for whipped cream that I can think of start with “S”, I’m kind of at a loss as to what it could be trying to tell us. My best guess: “ADD SIN”. Because whipped cream is sinfully delicious, you see!
Apartment 3-G, 1/27/08
“God damn it, this is an autumn shade, and I know I’m a spring! How many times do I have to tell myself — I should never go to the cosmetics counter when I’m drunk or high!”
The final panel of this strip walks a delicate line, giving Alan fans the beefcake they crave while sparing the rest of us the traumatic sight of Alan nipples.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
One of these days Alan is going to wake up with a big aching butt.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Redheads represent! Or should that be RED-present?
Best redheads of all time:
Thomas Jefferson
Winston Churchill
Queen Elizabeth I
January 27th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
“ADD SIN”? Oh no, that makes no sense. I think the sign says “ADD SIS”.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
And just wait ’til Alan looks down and realizes that someone’s stolen his nipples.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
It’s LuAnn’s fault how? She objected to seeing him kissing someone else? Doormat doormat doormat someone give that woman a big smack upside the head!!!!
Meanwhile Alan went home with who? Some lipstick chick? Or it was still on his lips from kissing the strange bimbo? My head hurts…
January 27th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
P.S. “Add soap”, I think.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Josh, duuuude… “Flying Tomato” is, in fact, the nickname of champion snowboarder Shaun White (who does have long bright red hair, his own video game and clothing line). It’s not a product of Tom Armstrong’s fevered imagination.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
The “Flying Tomato” is Shaun White, one of those XTREME sports performers the kids seem to like.
That’s not to say that “tomato” isn’t basically a dumb name.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
“Add salt”! With “alt” in really small font size.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Wait, “Cafe”? What are they doing in Milford?
January 27th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Not that it means anything to most folks here, but the phrase, ‘flying tomato’, reminded me of a local pizza chain near where I grew up. In addition their ‘gutbuster’ pizza, they were famous (locally) as The Flying Tomato Brothers. I remember often seeing their hot air baloon that was made to look like a giant tomato.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Here’s a link to what seems to be their now defunct website that includes an illustration of the balloon.
http://garciaspizza.com/
January 27th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
When will we see one of the gals “really mess up” They need to demonstrate women’s liberation with some casual sex.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Sorry, Josh — I WANTED to join the nautical division of Jungle Patrol, but those damn leeches were just too much for me.
One thing in the world I hate is leeches. Filthy little devils.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
I’m just so *not* getting this whole Mary Worth premise. Why would you call a guy whom you dumped a month ago (okay, maybe more recently, but this strip moves slowly) to dump him again *and* introduce him to his replacement, who may or may not be your brother?
I think that Vera’s been hanging out with Britney. Before you know it, she’ll be dancing around suggestively with the massive donuts singing, “hit me baby, one more time!”
Nope, not getting it.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
#7/#8 — WHAT?? That’s it, he’s out of the club.
Josh
January 27th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Oh, forgot to mention, redheaded here, too. Can’t join the jungle patrol, though — I’d get sunburned.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
First Rodin gives us The Thinker, then A3G graces us with The Shameful Drinker. Western civilization–what’s left of it–is grateful.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
AG3. Jaundiced generic Alan as beefcake. Gah! It’s enough to make any girl quit and join the Jungle Patrol. Yeah, Old Stripy Butt is a dick, and anyone wearing a full body leotard in the jungle has got to reek, but if you stand up-wind he’s nice enough to look at.
And Sam Driver does look cute in glasses.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Don’t worry, the “Redheads are going extinct” thing is an urban legend based on a misunderstanding about recessive genes. You’re fine!
At least till the Raspberry Slayer comes along.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Damnation! Does this mean Vera’s not pregnant? I should have known better than to get my hopes up (it is, after all, MARY WORTH), but I was seriously letting myself get set up for that. I mean, the drama! The prenatally nutritious casseroles! The self-doubt and subsequent vulnerability to meddling! The shame of both Drs. Cory! The proof once and for all that kissing really DOES cause pregnancy in the Worthverse!
Unless of course Vera’s carrying Mr. Mustardcoat’s child, and wants to draw Drew into her web, where the four of them will start some kind of cult… but that’s more Gil Thorp territory than Mary Worth.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
A3G: I don’t know, sweetheart. I should think trusting Alan would be easy for you, what with being so extraordinarily dim, and the carbon monoxide damage on top of it. There must be some faint, vestigial survival instinct at work.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Too obvious:
Add shit.
Add sex.
Less Obvious:
Add Sag (Try Mary herself!)
Add Sam (he’s lonely)
Add Sap (dessert with alpine goodness)
Add SARS
Add sic
Add Sis (or your brother!)
Add Sod (now with even more minerals)
Add Soy!
and . . .
ADD SAT- The test to get into college, but with shorter questions.
January 27th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I just have to give Alan props for actually managing to have sex in “Apartment 3G.” That’s like finding an adult love interest more fabulous than your first date in FOOB, or disproving creationism in “BC” or actually getting a word in edgewise in “Mary Worth”. Well played, Alan. Well played.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
I think you’re overlooking the possibility that it’s a 5 instead of an S. The sign is exhorting customers to “ADD 50″ pounds from all that whipped cream. A similar sign on the strip could invite readers to “LOSE 50″ IQ points.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Every single panel of Sunday’s Mary Worth is terrifying. It’s like a really bad acid trip, though I’d rather feel like bugs were crawling out of my ears than see something like Drew’s face in panel 2 ever again.
*shudder*
January 27th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Okay, so I’m the only one who thought it was the bunny that had a snow cone before going to bed?
And who has a snow cone in effing January! I am in MEMPHIS, and I wouldn’t have a snow cone in January.
I would eat snow, of course, IF WE HAD SOME.
stupid south with its stupid weather stupid marvin stole all the snow
January 27th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
I think it’s ADD Sex – that’s when you apply the whipped cream, but then get distracted and move on to something else before licking it all off.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
a3g — no racks — male or female. what gives???
January 27th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
I thought add sugar (in the form of whipped cream)?
sprinkles?
January 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Alan’s face in the second-to-last panel is the funniest thing that’s ever been in A3G
January 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
brb – I thought it was an ADD something… a shoutout to Gil Thorp?
January 27th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Not funny, but my two options for MW’s Man in Yellow:
A. It’s Von. Vera has agreed to take the money that he offered her upon their reconciliation — but only if a job came with it. She is leaving Charterstone and is off to work for one of the companies her brother now owns — in Bangalore.
B. It’s Ben Frank, from work. He the one that connected Vera with Mary. If anyone ever thought being bought dinner means you have to put out, imagine what you have to do if you are given a meddling biddy.
http://joshreads.com/?p=993
No idea why she should feel the need to explain either of these things to a guy she dated for a month.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
There’s also the old ‘blowing a raspberry.’ phrase ;P
January 27th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
A#G: Why is it necessary for the girls to constantly use each other’s names in casual conversation. “Can you pour me some orange juice, Tommie?” Can you spare a square, LuAnn?” Pass the vibrator, Margo.” YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE FUCKING ROOM, NO NEED TO USE FIRST NAMES HERE.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
MW – It’s a PSA: “ADD Sux!”
January 27th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
#12 Tim –
Thanks for the flashback to Garcia’s Pizza, the scourge of central Illinois college towns. Well remember having an untoward reaction to one of their ‘gutbusters,’ during a visit to the sadly-named town of Normal many moons ago.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
37. I’ll see your Normal, Illinois, and raise you one Boring, Oregon.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
My brother had red hair, which is unusual for someone who is half Native American. But since no one ever stipulated which half, we just assumed his upper half was the white part.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
I think it’s just adds, as in add ons, because this is obviously a make you’re own donut shop. Why else would you put two dozen plain donuts on display? Vera takes hers with sprinkles and a hefty dose of weirdness.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I can see why Vera likes him. He’s such a snappy dresser. Orange, salmon and purple are the new black.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Alan’s just realizing the truth of the Lou Reed lyrics:
Holly came from Miami FLA
Hitch-hiked her way across the USA.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her leg and then he was a she
Uh oh. Her name was Holly, wasn’t it, Alan?
January 27th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Hey, hey CARROTS! *pulls your pigtails*
I also like “Ginger Balls” (from the Flight of the Conchords TV show).
January 27th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
From what I remember of high school genetics, recessive traits (such as red hair) stay present in the genetic line, even if they stop manifesting for a while. So unless all redheads stop having sex, it’s unlikely the color will become extinct.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I stopped having sex, but it wasn’t deliberate.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
The hair on my head is brownish-blond, like a normal person’s, but my beard — which I’ve been wearing for the past few years — keeps coming in reddish.
I’m scared. Could I be….a Tomato?
January 27th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Nothing to fear Josh. I am a ginger, and my fiance comes from a long line of Scottish gingers, I am sure our spawn will be of the radical rouge variety.
Anyways…the raspberry rocket? Maybe the guys in the coloring department have been the ones getting it wrong all these years and Marvin has indeed, a freakish magenta colored coiffe.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
44. Indeed. That would be how my brown-eyed grandparents ended up having a blue eyed daughter. :)
January 27th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Why is Alan all yellow and flat? I have had plenty nights of regrettable sex-and-drinking (or drinking-and-sex) and never once did I turn yellow and flat as a result.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
38 Deena:
I am guessing the residents of Boring, Oregon are anything but?
The teens of the sleepy little Bay Area suburb we live in, Orinda, are apparently so envious of the gang warfare, adolescent pregnancy and intravenous drug addiction they would be around if they only lived in a more hopping city, that they cannot avoid calling the town “Borinda”. Not to be outdone, their peers in the next town over, Moraga, call their home “Boraga.”
We are thus surrounded by world-weary yet not-too-original high school kids.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Another redhead checking in here. T’was a proud moment in my life when it was made official on my drivers’ license.
Bitch about the current storyline all you want, but I for one cannot wait for Vera to tell Drew that she’s having Von’s baby and the two of them plan on getting married.
Of course, this is Mary Worth, so expect that Vera introducing the two men in her life to take another week, and then her explanation to Drew about her relationship with Von (a rehash of the tale of woe she told Mary) to take yet another month. At this rate, it will be June before she gets around to spilling whatever her little secret is, and no one will care anymore.
Wait, what am I saying? No one cares already.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Actually the sign reads either “Add Some” and the lack of the final ‘e’ was the result of poor planning or it says “Add Six” — as in, if you want whipped cream, you add six dollars to the total. It’s very expensive whipped cream.
True story — I was once involved with this chick, who, when she wanted to break up with me, had her new boyfriend call me. My general habit is to ask “whom is calling and for what reason” when I don’t recognize the caller so I can filter out nuisance calls by pretending that I’m merely a secretary and the person they’re calling for is unavailable. Then this guy got really angry and kept insisting he talk with ‘me’ without identifying himself. I can’t remember the exact sequence of events, but eventually it became clear what the deal was and she got on the line, very apologetic that she’d found someone else — which I was actually fine with me because I kind of wanted rid of her.
Anyway, I took this to be a weird, aberrant behavior on her part, but this scenario this strip is (potentially) depicting of actually having your new squeeze show up, presumably with the timing planned to come right after you’ve told your ex what’s up, makes me wonder if this is in some way an accepted method of handling the transition.
Of course, being deprived of any information on what actually transpired in the way of back and forth between Vera and Drew in the two months that took place while Mary was trying her hand at dog ownership (and failing miserably) does mean that there is some possible exonerating information missing. We know Dr. Drew is self involved to point of being pathological — perhaps Vera hinted towards this but Drew’s narcissistic little mind was unable to process that input and kept pursuing a reunion. Even giving Vera the benefit of the doubt here that such a meeting was the only way to finally shake Dr. Brillcream, it doesn’t explain her initial warm behavior towards Drew when they first met in the cafe, which leads to only one conclusion:
Vera is a weirdo.
Which we already knew.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Hehe Srah. Gingerballs.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
#11 – Tim, is it safe to say you hail from the Champaign-Urbana area? Garcia’s pizza was definitely a staple of my diet when I lived there, though I was more fond of Papa Dell’s.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
#44, This is true, and we know it because my husband and I -both non-red, and with no red for a couple of generations back on either side- had a redhead.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:03 am
#45 Skullturf,
I meant for more than an hour:)
January 28th, 2008 at 12:06 am
MW — My theory is that the S is actually a dollar sign, and it says something like “ADD $.50″ for whipped cream.
Why this cafe uses a bizarre combination of rebus and written language is beyond my comprehension, though. “[picture of whipped cream] add $.50!” “Enjoy [picture of soda]!” Maybe Vera has joined a cargo cult (cargo: donuts) and this is their local pidgin.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:10 am
I think the write intentionally made the thought balloon go to Marvin’s stuffed animal. This is an obvious opening to a plot line involving Marvin’s slow descent into madness. Oh sure it begins silly enough with stuffed animals communicating their dreams to him and gut-wrenching sleepless nights, but it ends with Marvin screaming in a straight-jacket “The rabbit made me do it!”
January 28th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Didn’t Marvin spend all last week stuck outside in the snow? Was it last week? Marvin world seems to run together.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:14 am
“Alan fans”… now that has GOT to be an oxymoron.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:16 am
And Monday’s Foob! Does Lynn really think Elly’s bid for the world’s nastiest wife is amusing? Are we headed into Lockhorn’s territory here?
January 28th, 2008 at 12:19 am
61. Where are you going to get the Monday funnies already? Chron won’t post them for me for another 40 minutes.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:20 am
The feller in the green suit in today’s Mary Worth looks like he’s up to no good. Check it out for yourselves, but I challenge any and all of you to devise a benign explanation for l’homme vert du mystère
January 28th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Deena, the Washington Post always changes over at 9PM West Coast time:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name
January 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mary_Worth
Nope, it’s not Von. Another mystery solved.
“Ryan”, clearly labeled as “her boyfriend.”
Let the sissyfit over Vera begin!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:24 am
#57-Elise-I would pay top dollar to see a MW cargo cult storyline.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:26 am
P.S.: The washpo site usually doesn’t change over the Foob when they change the other ones, but you can also get that at 9PM Pacific via the Yahoo site:
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/forbetterorforworse;_ylt=AoYX0WK3wNB_8JydWTB9JJkDwLAF
January 28th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Some Monday observations:
A3G: we now return you to your glacially-slow strip, already in progress. Alan continues to wonder…
FC: why are the Keane cretins suddenly looking so erudite? They seem as though they should be wearing smoking jackets and…um…smoking…
FOOB: gee, you hag, Elly, maybe John had LESS time back then because he was interacting with his kids. Maybe he was making himself scarce while your marathon menopause ordeal went on and on. Maybe he was schtupping his dental hygienist, who has since moved to Calgary. The possibilities to avoid you are endless…
JP: Sam’s arthritis seems to be flaring up. Maybe when Gloria “takes care of everything” for Steve, she can get her boss a couple of aspirin.
MT: yay! Andy! Make you can dictate the message to him, Mark.
MW: and now Drew seems to be getting Fists o’ Jealousy…
What’s with Vera’s expression in Panel 1? This looks like a Santa Royale Dinner Theatre production of “Sweeney Todd,” and Vera’s the meat pie of the day.
Phantom: I’m sure it’s a light ‘n’ shadows sort of thing, but is the ex-waitress wearing a cow t-shirt? (I kinda hope so…I have a shirt almost exactly like that, sort of a proto-Jungle Patrol thing!)
January 28th, 2008 at 12:43 am
52 Bobdog I can top your dumping story.
I was dating this woman, and she invited a friend on the date with us. It was an after work date, and she explained, at the time, she did it because she was worried I wouldn’t make it in time (we were seeing a play). As I sat with her, and the other woman, it became clear that I, not the other woman, was the third wheel. I left at intermission.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:45 am
9CL question, for anybody who has knowledge…
Was there ever any real back story as to how Edda ended up rooming with Seth? Or was it just presented as a part of her move to New York and joining the ballet company as an already established fact?
January 28th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Alan with his shirt off just looks like a Ken doll. If we panned down, do you think he’d be wearing underwear the exact same color as his skin?
January 28th, 2008 at 12:49 am
I’ve always liked red hair, even before I saw Angharad Rees in POLDARK. I’m glad you reddies aren’t on the way to extinction.
On the other hand, MARVIN going extinct would be fine with me.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Monday Phantom: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080128&name=Phantom
Arrayed in identical outfits and packs
Hawa and Kay have been making some tracks –
The hike in from Matawaan’s more than a stroll,
But they’d crawl to join up with Jungle Patrol!
The colonel will see them: oh, rapture, oh bliss!
Once he sees them they’re sure he will let them enlist –
‘Cause they put on tight tank tops, wore lipstick and kohl,
And will flutter their lashes for Jungle Patrol!
Oh the Jungle Patrol doesn’t take any guff,
But your chance is enhanced when you strut ‘em your stuff!
The Main Building’s ahead! They’re in sight of the goal
And just one step away from the Jungle Patrol!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Ryan…Secrest? So Vera has another deep dark secret to reveal to Drew in about six months (our time).
And the guy in the green suit is Les Moore. C’mon people!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:05 am
Hey all –
Not comics related but something I’m really proud of. Check out the great article in the Detroit Free Press (local section) about my club. I like the part where I am described as “as gracefull and seemingly nonchalant as the Scarlet Pimpernal”
Mmm, the Scarlet Pimpernal – a name change perhaps?
January 28th, 2008 at 1:05 am
It’s obviously just “ADD S”. It’s a public service announcement. The sign under it says, around that paper soda cup, “Enjoy making plurals without using an apostrophe.”
January 28th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Monday’s GT
I think who ever predicted that Andrew was setting the fires was correct.
He is a very confused time traveler.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Ah, now we know why Mark Trail brought Andy the Wonder Dog. He knew, somehow, he was going to have to send a message on his collar.
And here we though he brought to help solve the case, or at least give Mark someone to talk to, other than the trees and squirrels.
Who will he talk to now that Andy is going off doing Lassie stuff?.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:10 am
#75 SaberChick –
Link: http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008801270486
Nice article – congratulations!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:21 am
MW — Ryan in the second panel looks like Alfred E. Neuman, but with much worse hair. I dread what is to come.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:25 am
#70 Lt. Deena – re 9CL: as far as I can recall, Edda first met Seth when she auditioned for the ballet company; I don’t think Brooke devoted too many strips to showing how she got set up in NY. All I can remember is that Edda and Seth were supposed to dance so well together and hit it off so wonderfully that they just decided they’d be great roommates.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:28 am
# 75 — I agree, SaberChick, nice article. And you live in the town where I grew up.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:36 am
54. Yeah, it’s a real shame that Papa Del’s doesn’t ship “anywhere in the U.S”. They don’t even seem to have a website.
37, 38. Supposed central Illinois headline: Normal boy marries Oblong girl.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:49 am
JP: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080128&name=Judge_Parker
I guess it’s only appropriate that Sam’s penis would appreciate what a straight shooter Steve is.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:49 am
I’m a little disappointed the the second-to-last panel in A3G is getting no love so far. Alan’s dinner plate eyes seem to suggest that his shock isn’t so much from the discover of lipstick on his glasses, but is a direct result of a naked, hung-over Margo sinking her claws into his butt in a loose attempt to be sexy the morning after.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:54 am
I can’t believe it, I was actually surprised by a plot twist in Mary Worth!
Well, sort of, anyway. I really did think that the mysterious dude who was interrupting her lunch date with Drew was her brother Von. I was looking forward to more jokes about incest and tennis and alcohol abuse, just like the good old days…but now it turns out that while the guy IS her new boyfriend, it’s NOT her brother Von. I didn’t see that one coming!
The thing that upsets me the most? Well, first of all, it’s awfully cold of Vera to meet with Drew a few months after dumping him for the sole purpose of telling him that not only is he still dumped, but that she’s already shacking up with a new guy. Seriously, she was already out of his life, what the hell is the point of rubbing his nose in it now? And that right there is the worst part, because now I’m feeling sorry for Drew. I hate feeling sorry for a guy who’d wear a sportcoat like that one.
Fortunately, I can start loathing him again when he starts whining and pitying himself for how badly he was treated. That should be starting tomorrow.
I’m just wondering whether this cruel and humiliating scene was all Vera’s idea, or if Mary Worth suggested it to her. It sounds like the sort of thing the old biddy would come up with, especially now that she doesn’t have a small dog to kick around anymore.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:00 am
FC — There is something special about FC for me — I can hardly ever remember it. I’ll zip through my comics late at night and can remember what’s going on in most of them, but if I try to recall FC two minutes after I’ve read it, I usually can’t remember who was in it or what they did or said. It’s like a brain-wipe — the Keane Clean. Creepy, actually.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:03 am
#80–Poteet
Yeah, that’s me with a bad wig. After being rejected by the Jungle Patrol, I’ve been doing guest spots to make a living. I was also the guy in the bowler hat in Judge Parker a few days ago.
BTW, the part of Vera is being played by Tonya Harding.
MADly yours,
Alfred
January 28th, 2008 at 2:10 am
JP: Did TJ paint Sam’s office?
January 28th, 2008 at 2:12 am
Marvin – “Flying Tomato” meant nothing to me either, actually. Reading it again with new understanding doesn’t help much, though. It’s a lot like that Hi & Lois grocery-shopping strip from a week or two ago, with too many frames invested for too little payoff. And it’s lazy; there’s no effort made toward drawing anything that looks like Olympic-level skillz there. “I ate, went to bed, and had a weird dream” is enough of a cliché that you need to do something a bit more creative than this to make it work. Having Marvin ride the board in his peejays while juggling the stuffed bunny, a few other toys, and a bottle, would at least make his identity as a toddler relevant. Oh, I don’t know, the strip is just annoying to me.
Mary Worth – I’m pretty sure it’s “ADD SOY,” and the advertised product is some kind of whipped tofu. It rhymes nicely with “ENJOY,” and, being virtually devoid of flavor or texture, is just the sort of thing that would draw these characters to this particular café.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:16 am
Hmm, I don’t know, LuAnn. Every time my passive aggressive gentleman caller, whose terrible drug addiction forced him to leave the city of my residence, kisses another woman at a party, days after we’ve reconciled following my life-threatening stints in the emergency room, while I’m in the next room, I’m desperate to sleep with him. Immediately. Can’t keep my clothes on, really.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:12 am
The generic art in both strips suggest that Alan is Vera’s love interest in MW and Vera is Alan’s morning-after hangover in A3-G. I anticipate a crossover event of epic proportions that will end in Mary and Margo engaging in a slowly-moving, poorly-drawn and ultimately pointless power struggle to decide the fate of the universe — a battle of Evil vs. Just-As-Evil-But-More-Crotchety.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:21 am
A3G: Three panels taken right out of the last three from Sunday. Thank God that nothing happened to Alan’s sense of deja-vu. This message brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
MW: Ryan lifts off his tan overcoat to reveal an identically colored tan suit. Vera has somehow decided to date a Russian nesting doll instead of Eddie Munster?
Of course, if Vera really doesn’t want new boyfriends to meet old boyfriends, she really shouldn’t be setting up back-to-back appointments at the same diner. If she can internalize that concept, next she can move on to “not distributing her motel key to more than one pool boy” and other valuable lessons.
Sex Organ, M.D.: Bizarro Rex in panel 1 points out the Bizarro-world understanding of medicine. How long can Lee last? “Not long! I gave him some pain killers!”
Oh, well, how long would Lee last out there if you hadn’t given him some pain killers? Less time or more time?
MT: I like the intensity in Mark’s eyes in panel 3 — the only way for it to have a bit more of a Daniel Clowes feel would be if Mark were pimply and sweaty.
GT: There must be something seriously wrong if the writers are not including Maureen Monte’s full name in today’s installment.
Slylock Fox: Slick Smitty? Guilty as hell — despite the lack of physical evidence and a clear lie-detector test, I’d suspect anybody who lied about his name. After all, we know from a quick look that this is Rocky from Beetle Bailey. Check his prints against the military database, and you’ll find him.
Judge Parker: A temporary office in the library? WTF? Why not a cubicle in the bathroom while you’re at it? Just because the injured schmoe doesn’t want to take a salary until he starts cranking in the clients doesn’t mean you have to stick it to him sideways.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:23 am
I do love Vera’s playful protest that she doesn’t like surprises; it makes perfect sense that she’d move to Charterstone, where every plotline is telegraphed three weeks in advance and takes twice as long to complete . No one in Santa Royale has been surprised since the Eisenhower administration.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:45 am
#75/79 SabreChick – Nice story and really informative. I hope it gets you a lot of recruits!
January 28th, 2008 at 3:56 am
FBOFW: Well, according to the colorists on yahoo, everyone here has hair the color of mud.
Which leads me to note, that if you substitute “doing the dishes” for “oral sex”, I think this one strip alone reveals the dire, joyless Lynn / Elly Foobian cosmos for what it is…
Could be the essential lyrics for a blues song:
“I was always ‘cooking in the kitchen’ for you, but you never ‘did the dishes’ once! ”
Must…get..images…out of head….!
January 28th, 2008 at 4:14 am
Any boyfriend who’d show up while his new girlfriend is getting together with her ex displays a lack of finesse. Or a healthy sense of suspicion. In my experience blond tight ponytail girls always turned out to be trouble one way or another.
Vera seems so annoyed that he turned up early that she may have two exes shortly.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:32 am
Josh, how can you talk about “Gingers of the world, unite!” and neglect to mention Australia’s national comic, Ginger Meggs?
http://www.gocomics.com/gingermeggs/?uc_full_date=&campid=0&
I mentioned this yesterday in regard to celebrating Australia Day. We had Australian leg of lamb for dinner since the weather here is too wet to fire up the barbie.
Not to mention Brenda Starr, although I don’t know what national holiday is associated with her.
And by a strange coincidence, considering the intersection of topics about redheads and pizza in Illinois college towns, my red-headed ex-girlfriend from when I was in college just e-mailed me.
Luckily she doesn’t want to meet me in a place that sells giant yellow doughnuts.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:48 am
Obviously, Slylock knows Slick Smitty is guilty because, through years of practice, he has taught himself to fool lie defectors. Just like Brian Kelley.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:09 am
99. Lie detectors are nonsense because all they can measure is your emotional state–sweating, pulse rate, etc. Pathological liars can easily defeat lie detectors because they don’t get emotional about telling lies. While normal nervous people seem to be lying about everything.
But rather than debate the shortcomings of lie detectors, I wonder how human beings wander into this world of anthropomorphic animals. In My Cage, for example, all the characters are anthropomorphic animals implausibly mixed together.
But in Slylock Fox some humans like Slick Smitty and Count Weirdly have found their way into the anthropomorphic animal world and are attempting to make a living there. To any economist this is a logical development, but how did they get there?
In the old comics based on Disney characters, minor roles seemed to be played by some sort of dog. No humans—at least as far as the ears were concerned.
There is a PhD thesis lurking around here somewhere, just waiting to be pulled together and filled with polysyllabic words.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:27 am
My Cage will have humans show up too…kinda/ sorta.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:43 am
add shit may be too obvious but it is also too obviously correct, mainly because if you have a sign asking you to add something next to a symbol you would want the symbol to somehow represent what you were adding. You seem to think the symbol is whipped cream, I think in this case however someone has forgotten to colorize appropriately. There is only one thing in that shape I can think of that starts with an S.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:54 am
101. I will be interested in seeing how you handle this concept. Slylock Fox or Roger Rabbit?
Pogo never had humans. Moomintroll (not a comic) did, sort of. Disney, as I said, didn’t really. Flook only had Flook. PBS has the artist and Get Fuzzy and Garfield have a few people.
Quite an interesting question from a “world-consistency” standpoint!
January 28th, 2008 at 6:09 am
Dick: Well, it looks like the cops have all the time in the world, since they can recycle that first panel for days.
Duck: Brucie has never heard of John McCain?
January 28th, 2008 at 7:10 am
Sunday’s Pickles had the exact joke same electronics warranty joke another comic ran a few weeks back, but I can’t place it.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:47 am
We’re in for a whole week of repeating the same lame gag in Marvin, aren’t we?
On the other hand, a week of Drew “Fists Clenched in Barely Restrained Fury” Corey — that’s got some potential.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:55 am
“Pardon my Planet” I approve of today, despite its punnish nature, because (besides the fact that it’s drawn well) it’s got the good sense to be a little bit subtle about it. “What? I don’t get… oh. [groan]” If you’re going to do puns, that’s the ticket. Pay attention, you other perennial punsters. There’s a lesson there, an important lesson all about why you’re shit. I’m talking to you, Johnson. I’m talking to you, Batiuiuik. I’m talking to you, Hart and I don’t care if you are dead you listen when I’m talking. Good day.
January 28th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I also approve of Edison Lee today, but that’ll pass quickly.
In Prickly City — does a plain “dog” card beat Huckabee’s “man on dog” card or is it the other way ’round?
Finally — LOL — pluggers are (get this) fat (no srsly).
January 28th, 2008 at 8:01 am
43 — love the Anne of Green Gables reference.
As a true red-head, I am fine with “firecrotch” but I draw the line at tomato.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:09 am
MT: Finally, Mark is acting sensibly. Even he knows that Andy is smarter and more resourceful than Mark is and thus has a better chance of making it out of the woods alive.
BeBa: Sarge just wants another excuse to drop trow in front of Beetle.
GT: I don’t think the story is what the A-Train is inviting Romulan Girl to come get.
Luann: So dumbass Brad thinks Toni is going to sit next to him after he slammed the door in her face? If she didn’t have a preternaturally small nose, he would have smashed it.
S-M: Exactly where did Spidey place the spider tracker on (in?) Godero? And just what kind of vibes does it make?
Zits: Maybe Jeremy will be grounded until the strip finally dies or it gets converted into some kind of empty nest kind of thing.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:10 am
110: Is me…
January 28th, 2008 at 8:12 am
MW: Come on now. No one actually calls their ex to inform them that they’ve moved on. Unless it’s late at night, and they’re really drunk, and their I’m-so-over-you rant ends with a sniffly “Call me.”
January 28th, 2008 at 8:12 am
#69 – Another woman? I would have at least stuck around to see if she was trying to set up a threesome.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:26 am
MW: I think Ryan’s wearing his orange-coat-over-orange-blazer ensemble in order to coordinate with Vera’s purple-on-purple set. After the Drew dumping, the happy couple planned to attend a Clemson Tigers home game. On second thought, maybe Ryan’s just not the assertive character he seems to be, and if the dumping goes badly, he wants to be able to camouflage himself against the rack of donuts in the background.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:32 am
JP – Why are they putting Steve in the library? Isn’t there a vacant office where Randy Parker used to work? Maybe this “library” a special room where Gloria keeps her “books” and “card catalog”, and where she goes to do some heavy “browsing.”
January 28th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Ahh — nauseating, repetitive clip-art for middle-aged housewives, thy name is Marvin.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:40 am
DT: Has entered another Chronic Hysteresis time loop.
MT: I definitely feel much better about this whole situation now that Andy’s on the case.
Crankshaft: It appears that Crankshaft setting his neighbor’s house on fire last week, in one of his most selfish, thoughtless moments yet, is now to be utterly forgotten. And I thought his backing over the snowman was awful….
January 28th, 2008 at 8:41 am
In Australia, another name for red-heads, especially males, is “bloodnut”. Which is slightly better than “firecrotch”, IMO.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:49 am
#112 – Whippersnapper – Wouldn’t it be nice, though, if you could gather together all your exes and let them know that you’re doing fine without them. To the best of my knowledge my exes are, in Chronological Order:
-In the Army and living in Texas – marital status unknown.
-Married to the girl he dumped me for, and is an architect.
-A doctor in the middle of South Carolina – married, one kid.
-An actual rocket scientist living near Seattle. Married, one kid
-A librarian in Atlanta – dating/marital status unknown
-Practicing hyponotherapist, single.
So if any of you are reading this, I got married to a great guy, we have a beautiful home and a happy life together. You were all jerks (except you, rocket scientist, you were a nice guy and we had fun, but it just wasn’t geographically feasible). I hope that you have all suffered a little for the way you treated me.
*Sniff* – keep in touch, OK?
January 28th, 2008 at 9:04 am
yester-Curtis: He looks nothing like the nemesis of the PowerPuff Girls.
yester-Frazz: Counterpoint to last week’s Lio. Nice.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Re: Alan – are nippies still illegal in the comix?
Re: Hair – there’s a goodly population of Reds in Quebec, actually, partially due to a rather large Irish emigration here in the 1800’s. (There’s a longer and sometimes sad story to all this, but I won’t delve into it here.) Lots o’ Scot and Irish blood lines in the Maritimes too.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:09 am
I’m pretty sure that Vera, in order to help Drew “move on”, is trying to set him up with the blonde in yellow. Somewhere in the woods, Rex Morgan is jealous.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Pardon My Planet is usually hit-or-miss, but I’m totally mystified today. I’m guessing it’s some kind of Hail Mary reference that, presumably, would mean nothing to a baseball fan who never watches football. Or speaks conversational English since that expression has been in common usage for decades. In any event, this strip isn’t consistently funny enough to make me work this hard.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:11 am
FOOB – A Monday morning stab at
RodJohn.Nice passive agressive tactics,
LynnElly.Another day, another happy moment with the Foobestra.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:24 am
When I saw that throw-away panel in Marvin my first thought was almost exactly the same as the first time I heard Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry: Someone actually sat down and created this and wasn’t horrified enough by what they had done to throw holy water on it and set it on fire.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:29 am
#123 -Two syllables, sounds like “pennants”…
January 28th, 2008 at 9:29 am
FooB – So Ellie is complaining about John washing the dishes. What a bitch!
Mary Worth – So Vera is complaining about surprises when she is about to dump a steaming hot surprise on Drew. What a bitch!
Family Circus – So Dolly insists on narrow gender role fulfillment. What a bitch!
Crankshaft – So the old man is going to do something decent and nice. No bitch here.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Marvin — Could “Raspberry Rocket” refer to the “Spppt” from Marvin’s backside? That would explain the look on Flying Tomato’s face and the reference to bedtime dietary indiscretions, no? Still lame. (More information on nocturnal flatulence as it relates to Newton’s third law can be found on the Internet.)
January 28th, 2008 at 9:30 am
I am STILL waiting for Moy and esp. Giella to create a Mary Worth snowboard design. (I’m only 5′1″ so use a 143-ahem ahem, Joe)
She could be saying something like “I am SO radical – Capiche?” “Let’s go to the Bum Boat” or “I love Beagles.”
January 28th, 2008 at 9:33 am
MW: That’s sure some fancy restaurant that Vera and Drew are meeting in. A Cafe named Cafe. Very smart and elegant. Potted palms and a canopy on the outside, and donuts and soft ice cream on the inside. It’s the most upscale, fanciest Dunkin Donut restaurant in North America. Orders are brought to your formica-topped table by waiters in short white jackets.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:37 am
#127 – The only time Elly is content is when she’s stuffing her face and gullet with grease and fat.
Re: FC – Ahem, Dolly, the PP is G-A-Y. The Blue Panther is simply frustrated.
Billy has toned it down today – he’s in the middle of his weekly Bipolar cycle and can only look at Dolly with a gaze of exhaustion, depression, and disdain, having recently killed his baby brother, talked back to his Mother over a piece of sports equipment, and thrown a fit at the breakfast table over crusts.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:39 am
DT-Am I going nuts or has Dick Tracy just used the same panel for THREE DAYS IN A ROW?!
January 28th, 2008 at 9:57 am
MW Has anyone ever seen a man in the real world wearing an orange suit? (I’m excluding leisure suits and convicts jumpsuits from consideration). Maybe the Mystery Man’s outfit would go well with Dagwood’s shirts with one giant button.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:12 am
#131 — Pink Panther, maybe gay. Who knows? But Snagglepuss? Gay.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:15 am
#133- Brick Bradford – the coach of the University of Tennessee Men’s Basketball team does wear an orange sport coat (with coordinating tie) to the games. Snazzy!
The running joke about why UT fans love orange says they can wear it to the game on Saturday, to do their community service work on Sunday, and on the back of their garbage truck on Monday.
Also MW – the new boyfriend is two hours early. For one, how long was Vera planning to take to break it to Drew? And two, ten minutes early shows he’s punctual/considerate, and I’m willing to let that slide, but Ryan here is two hours early, and that makes me wonder – is his last name Kelrast? Because two hours early means this guy is either heavily OCD or a stalker. Or possibly unemployed, if he can’t think of anything better to do with his spare two hours. Also, it’s only Vera. If it were Abbey Spencer or Cassandra Cat, I could see not being able to wait. But what’s so special about Vera?
January 28th, 2008 at 10:24 am
YesterFOOB and FOOBtoday: Yes, there’s no making Elly/Lynn happy. No wonder John/Rod left her. Any chance this semi-zombie FOOB continues to help pay alimony?
I will say this in defense of John/Rod: There is some satifaction to be had in repairing a child’s or grandchild’s toy, especially in this age of the disposable.
Pickles, generally: Every day, the same punchline: Pickles is old. We get it already. Can this strip just go away?
January 28th, 2008 at 10:25 am
#133 Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol – MW Has anyone ever seen a man in the real world wearing an orange suit?
remember the 80s?
#118 Mooselet – also “blue” for redheads
January 28th, 2008 at 10:30 am
MW: That may be the hottest kiss I have ever seen. Who doesn’t like a good above-the-ear snog?
GT: Hey, Maureen. All of Milford implores you: Punch Andrew Gregory in the balls!
GA: Oh, damn! Mr. Boss Man just dropped the i-bomb!
MT: Oh my sweet Jesus, he’s bringing back Lassie.
BB: Oh my sweet Jesus, Sarge just offered to show us his ass.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:34 am
for the Pibgorn fans who don’t have access to Brooke’s LJ:
“Pibgorn interruptus
Greetings all,
This is the Snark, logging in from Aarkvard to pass along my father’s apologies for being unable to post a Pibgorn. This message he has conveyed to me from the emergency room, where he must (as he put it) surrender his gallbladder for his efforts.
Bottom line, all is well. In the meantime, he just wanted you to know.
Nicola “
January 28th, 2008 at 10:35 am
A3G: Alan. Right now, check your apartment to see if your furniture is still there. I mean it. Also, you may wanna see if you still have both your kidneys. Also, check the bathroom mirror for messages. Stupid, stupid man….arrgh.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:43 am
The “ADD S[Redacted]” is cearly an acronym that is part of a brand-rehabilitation marketing campaign. Much like when Kentucky Fried Chicken renamed themselves KFC for a while, they are trying to get people to buy a product that has gotten some bad press.
In this case, the full sign reads “ADD SG”, where of course SG stands for Soylent Green.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Test?
January 28th, 2008 at 10:46 am
C’mon Wordpress
January 28th, 2008 at 10:47 am
1/28*
MF: Don’t bother looking for a punchline, but DO YOU NEVER STOP BITCHING?!?
January 28th, 2008 at 10:48 am
MW: Vera’s new boyfriend sizes up her throat in the first panel. He’s also wearing a very long necktie. Sounds suspicious. Vera may have gone out of the frying pan here.
S-M: This is the first time I’ve ever heard Spidey referring to “sensing the vibes” of his spider signal. Even in the Psychedelic Psixties he never had time for all that Age of Aquarius jazz.
JP: Steve Shannon will be glad to know he’s got teh approval of Gloria’s nose and Sam’s crotch.
H&J: Herb mercifully spares his son the lame punchline.
BB: Not touching this one.
GT: “Get it while it’s hot.” Sure he was talking about the car, Sally Bowles?
SFx: It’s Slick Smitty’s wallet that the nudist rat is lifting. This is quite deliberate. As he never seems to get convicted, Slylock and the cops want to at least make sure he knows how it feels to be a victim.
A3G: How badly? If she says, “You still here, minuteman?” you’ll know exactly how bad you were.
FW: Perhaps the most worrisome part is that Harry Dinkle forgets to smirk.
Crock: Neither cannonballs nor the human body work this way.
6C: Isabella Bannerman helps make the case for allowing women to join the Jungle Patrol.
TDIET: I am not, repeat not, Susan Collicott of Seattle, Washington. That said, this is a phenomenon I’m familiar with. Often the pushy, nervy person doesn’t even want this bus, and spends five minutes making the driver tell her which bus (s)he does want.
FC: The best thing here is how Dolly seems to be cradling an imaginary brandy snifter as she spouts this gibberish. If any of the Keane Kidz have a future in academia–a distant possibility, I’ll grant–surely she’s the one.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Another redhead here. Mom had four boys and three of us have red hair. Yeah, and we all have a short temper and used to brawl alot.
Sorry, but I won’t be joining the Jungle Patrol, despite my name. I did enough patrolling in the jungle back in 1969 and don’t ever want to do it again.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:49 am
9CL: Damn. Looks like some mother/daughter boundaries are lined with shotgun wielding, pickup driving Minutemen today. In MY family, we NEVER make remarks about our mother’s titties. WE wanna go to heaven.
Doonesbury: I remember when this strip was mostly Zonker and Mike sittin’ round the kitchen table talkin’ bout the government. Good, but in a button-down kinda way. It’s gotten a lot cooler. I wish most superhero comics were this good. But they’re not. Except Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I’m rambling, so onto…
Mary Worth: Drew. Even YOU could take this guy. If you don’t even TRY to kick his ass, i’ll be very ashamed.
FOOB: Wow. Elly’s really showing her Vito Corleone side here. ” I spoil my husband as you can see. He talks and plays with trains when he should be doing dishes.” This is why Jamus doesn’t get married.
Oh, hi Cassandra, I didn’t see you come in dear….
Yeah, i’m doing the dishes. Doin’ them right now…
January 28th, 2008 at 10:50 am
145 re: Mary Worth
I tried to include a link to Hitchcock’s “Frenzy”, but couldn’t leave a comment with the html code for links (other people have mentioned this problem before). Sorry about the non-funny posts.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:53 am
135. Since you mentioned keeping Cassandra waiting, I felt the need to interject….as Harry Vincent, aide de camp to the Shadow once said, some dishes are best after you let them stew for a little while….* sound of frying pan hitting Jamus square between the eyes*
January 28th, 2008 at 11:00 am
As a fellow red-head, I think that this is just the tip of the iceberg, as far as funny paper prejudice goes. I mean, think of the red-heads we have: Dolly and Jeffy (both twits), Marvin (precocious arse), the Little Red-Haired Girl (a symbol of hopelessness), etc. The only decent ones are Abbey Spencer and Mary Jane Watson, and I’m pretty sure their hair is dyed, and not truly red.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:04 am
#150 Mariko.
You forgot Tommie from A3G. Her inclusion doesn’t really disprove your point, though.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:05 am
#68 – bats – a cow t-shirt?! cool! I had a great Holstein pattern cow t-shirt for years, it was one of my favorites.
I picked it up on a tour of the Gateway Computer plant, in Sioux City, South Dakota, back in the early 90’s. The pattern was part of their schtick. Their building was a huge white box with black blotches painted on.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:06 am
MW What guy wouldn’t love a girl with a ponytail handle?
JP That was some meeting; it made Sam drop trou by the second panel. Yeah, see you in the “library”, Gloria.
FC Dolly is practicing her stereotype banter so she can really put that budding ponytail handle to work when she’s older.
9CL Yay! Edda’s at least good for taking Professor Tightass down a peg or two.
(DT)GT The A-Train is a Fire-Bug.
Cathy (Must DIe) Cathy is an e-slut.
MT It was only a matter of time before Andy took his turn again as Hero of the Strip. Then after Mark gets shot and spends weeks trying to survive in the dense Lost Forest as a dense gunshot victim, Andy will take over the strip, and will provide exposition through notes in his collar.
RMMD For the sake of, oh say…making any FUCKING SENSE, Rex’s first panel word balloon should have read, “Not long! I gave him some painkillers, but…” and THEN have the panel two balloon read as it does. The way it does right now looks DUMB.
Woody does this to taunt people like me.
FBoFW Oh, and Lynnie’s pulling this shit PRECISELY to taunt people like me. Elly Patterson would bitch at anything.
You never did the dishes before. You washed them with a cloth instead of a sponge. You washed them in warm water, not in scalding hot water. You rinsed them under running water, not in a sink of clear rinse water. You dried them counter-clockwise, not clockwise. You washed the glasses first and not the plates and now there’s no room in the drain for the plates. You used the decorative Christmas towels, not the Canada in Wintertime scene towels. You put the dishes away instead of leaving them on the counter so everyone could see the amount of hard work you put in just so this family can eat their greaseburgers and fatback casseroles on clean dishes. You did something thoughtful and now I am expected to have to trump you so I can still be the world’s biggest BITCH!
But I’m not bitter, no.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:08 am
“Red Rocket” is a vulgar euphamism for a dog’s genitals, presumably “Rasberry Rocket” is a similar concept. Marvin is a dog’s dong.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:08 am
150. Oh, Abbey’s a real redhead, trust me….Cassandra, put down that crowbar….please…
January 28th, 2008 at 11:09 am
#152 Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Nutrition Division – We used to have a Gateway computer! Man, we wore that sucker slap out, I really liked it. The kids were fascinated by the Holstein shipping boxes!
January 28th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Josh, that top sign says “Add Shhhhhh….aving Cream”.
Shaving cream, stay nice and clean
shave every day and you’ll always look keen
Vera sure found a dead ringer surrogate for Von. He seems like quite the shmuck too and may need to be cut loose for surprising Vera.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:18 am
FOOB – Wasn’t there a similar strip a few years back where she was critical of the way he was folding the towels?
I’m reminded of a song from my childhood – from the “Free to Be You and Me” record:
Some kind of help is the kind of help/
That helping’s all about/
And some kind of help is the kind of help/
We all can do without!
If my husband offers to cook, do laundry, wash dishes, etc. I’m not about to criticize the way he does it. Although I did find the caraway seeds he put in the spaghetti a little weird. I’m sure he thought it was right – after all – they look very similar to fennel seeds…
The point being, in a household, you develop your core competencies – My best work is done in the kitchen, laundry room and grocery store. I also plan entertaining, handle social correspondence and I’m chiefly responsible for scheduling things (service appointments, vet visits, etc.). Mr. Cat is all about car care, yard work, anything related to technology, and reaching things on high shelves. He’s also our financial planner, consumer researcher, and cleans bathrooms exceptionally well.
But – I can change my own tires, kill spiders, put together a bookshelf, open jars and do my own taxes. He can cook, iron, sew on a button and buy/wrap a wedding present without me.
Do we have a fairly stereotypical division of labor? Sure, but so what? We get shit done, we both work 40+ hours a week, and at the end of the day, we’re a team.
Bottom line – Elly’s happiest when making others miserable.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:21 am
RE: Rex Morgan: Rex, if you had painkillers and the ability to dose the gunman…WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK HIM OUT and THEN ESCAPE?!?!?
January 28th, 2008 at 11:22 am
9CL – Drat. I was hoping Juliet, like her daughter did Saturday, would display the Angry Unibrow of Helga from Hey, Arnold!
A3G – Don’t get your undies in a bunch, Alan – it could’ve been Luann, but she went home the Friday before last. Crisis averted.
Curtis – No, of course he’s not. That would involve a resolution to a long-running storyline and shifts in the comic’s formula.
DT – I’ve got the strangest sense of deja vu…I’ve got the strangest sense of deja vu…I’ve got the strangest sense of deja vu…
FC – Oh, this is just rife with psychosexual weirdness.
FOOB – Ho ho, that lousy assclown ex-husband of yours sure is whipped, isn’t he, Lynn? Ho ho ho!
FW – Guest art in final panel by Billy, age 8.
JP – Okay, now taking bets on what sort of shady double life Steve is leading. My money’s on “involved with the Dickens’ pot farm,” but then I suppose he could be working in amputee-themed porn. (Of course it exists. Rule 34, folks.)
MF – Quit your bitching, Mallard. The best thing the Republicans can hope for is an Obama nomination, because then Hillary, unable to grasp the concept of someone else getting a shot at the White House, will run as an independent, and their campaigns will sink each other, leaving the country with no choice but to elect whatever schmuck we nominate.
MT – Wow. Never thought I’d see Mark in such obvious denial. What is this, the five stages of impending death?
MW – “And by ‘Ryan’ I mean ‘Von.’”
Popeye – Is everyone else reading the final panel the way I am?
RMMD – “And, you know, clearly nobody’s ever managed to overcome pain thanks to murderous rage! Yep, we’re safe as we can be!”
SM – “Spider-glue?” What the hell is “spider-glue?”
Edison Lee – wants to remind you that Big Food wants nothing more than to kill all their customers. Sure, it doesn’t make a damn lick of business sense, but corporations are just that evil.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:23 am
On the internet, everyone can be a redhead.
Is Vera’s new boyfriend Sweeney Todd?
January 28th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Things I’m focusing on in order to ignore the more disturbing parts of some cartoons:
A3G: Hey! Alan’s drapes match his shirt! [trying to ignore Alan apparently bummed that he doesn't remember how good the sex might have been.]
DT: The chief appears to be a large bobble-head doll, perhaps a guest-appearance from Zippy the Pinhead. [trying to ignore museum-goers revolted by indistinct pictures in a dark hallway]
MT: Mark’s general confusion is perhaps caused by the fact that we haven’t had any talking giant animals in the last few strips. [trying to ignore Mark apparently about to ditch Andy in the wilderness]
MW: Please let Vera’s boyfriend’s next line be “Hey! I bet if we each contribute one thing from our outfits, we’d have a complete clown costume!” [trying to ignore that said boyfriend is "early" to a meeting that started last week]
Phantom: My annoyance at the Jungle Patrol’s members surprise that girls want to join has been replaced by my annoyance that the prospective recruits have arrived in matching outfits consisting of tight t-shirts and hot pants. [ignoring the idea that the Jungle Patrol is not just a wilderness police force with a few land rovers, but a heavily-guarded military compound]
RMMD: So just how much heat does burning a large wad of money give off? [ignoring Rex and Niki chortling at the prospect of Lee stranded in the storm while in excruciating pain]
S-M: “spider glue”? [ignoring Spiderman's Dick Tracy-worthy plan to put someone in mortal danger in order to get a slightly better look at the bad guy]
January 28th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Ghost-Who-Jungle-Patrols: The black guard (blackguard?) can’t understand why they’d want to join the Jungle Patrol. Either he’s a sexist pig, or he’s the Jungle Patrol’s own Hawkeye Pierce, who was drafted and can’t quit a military he hates. I guess I may’ve miscast the Hawkeye role a couple posts ago.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:48 am
My dad was a ginger, but I got my mom’s brown hair, which occasionally show streaks of red, especially in the beard.
My wife is asian though, so doubtfull I’m passing it down.
My little brother is full ginger tho.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:49 am
A3G – Alan’s shocked expression diminished when he realized that the lipstick is his own color.
FBOFW – John is a practitioner of the Art of Strategic Incompetence: If you do something really poorly, you’ll never be asked to do it again. In tomorrow’s strip, he washes Elly’s red Cashmere sweater in hot water and bleach, followed by the dryer set on “heavy canvas.”
January 28th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Six Chix today seems to have problems with basic logic.
All mothers are women, BUT not all women are mothers.
Something about that strip just strikes me as offensive.
January 28th, 2008 at 11:59 am
#160, 162 – “spider glue” – you don’t want to know
January 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Hi, all. First time posting here, been lurking since last month. I’ve been looking for a place to bitch about FBoFW in particular. I’m glad to see other people rag on it, too!
A few thoughts: when my better half does the dishes, I’m totally cool with that. Even more so when he cleans the litter box. BTW, does the Foob rabbit have a litter box? Who scoops it?
And another thing, what’s with the Jolie lips on Deanna and Meridith? I mean, what determines who gets the trout pout?
January 28th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
The 80’s! I stand corrected. Also, I forgot the zoot suit era as well.
Coaches and boosters will wear anything so I’m not sure they count. You ought to see some of the red pants Nebraska fans (male) wear. Ewww.
I have seen the Vols coach in his orange blazer (and I do mean blazer!). My wife, Saturn Sadie of the Jungle Space Patrol, is a Kentucky fan and the mere sight of Tennessee Orange gives her apoplexy.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Impressive. Even when hung over and contemplating some terrible drunken misadventure, Alan still manages to hold his pose for Rodin.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Red Heads – I am a former redhead. You see, children, around 40 or so, red hair fades, quickly and turns to a light reddish tan. For women, coloring is a good option but the best a 40+ man can do is cut it really short. It’s sad but true.
As a young man, many years ago, my hair was that gold-red color and was my pride. My poor siblings and several cousins had the orange-red and hated it.
As redheads, we share many characteristics – a notably short temper with all those idiot adults who say to kids “well, I bet you have that famous redhaired temper”, a tendency to sunburn badly, mustaches of various colors that don’t quite match and for the women, people always asking who does their coloring.
Of course, our queen is Brenda Starr. Oh, how we love her! Rhonda Fleming and Maureen O’Hara are our girls and we appreciate Red Skelton.
None of us believe Tommie is a natural redhead. We also have our doubts about Lucille Ball and Tina Louise but we like them anyway.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
A3G: Well, generic, interchangeable A3G male Alan, the following was seen leaving your place last night: 2 prostitutes, a dog in a bra and panties, a “Hot Cop” straight from Arrested Development, a man bearing a striking resemblance to J. Edgar Hoover, Margo, Bill Clinton, and a spider monkey with S&M paraphenelia. One of the hookers was heard to say, “Amazing how many living beings can drink from the same glass with wet lipstick on in one night!”
Really, really badly, Alan.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
# 88 Alfred — BWAHAHA! In all fairness, I should have added that your expression is more intelligent than Ryan’s. And sympathies re the wig — it looks like a Trump reject.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
RwO was cute today. All those Mudgeons with their own “Rest & Recreation Assistance Dogs” please give’em an extra scritch for me. Did anyone see the bit on CNN about the military service dog in Iraq? Handsome black lab, was a neat feature.
SF: Ted, your first thought should NOT be the ice cream. Well, maybe if Hilary is home you can be forgiven.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Tommie is holding a carton or orange juice…
In case you missed it.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
#174 – Queek – agreed on today’s RWO. I think she gets dogs about as well as Patrick McDonnell of Mutts does.
My dog is definitely a leisure assistance animal. She’s also an excellent antidepressant and a fine alarm clock. I’ve never overslept on her watch.
Gary Larson, back in the day, had dogs down as well.
And using dogs to segue into redheadedness, I remember when my husband and I got engaged, his Aunt, Uncle and Sister all came to have dinner with us at my parents’ house. My sister-in-law is a red head – her hair looks like fire – it’s gorgeous. My husband’s beard is red and so are his eyebrows. His well-meaning Aunt asked if we had any redheads in our family, thus giving us a chance at having red-headed babies. Since we don’t really think we’re going to have kids, I couldn’t help but think that our only chance at having a red-headed baby is if we ever got an Irish Setter.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
#145 – 3G – “She?”
Alan better put “Lola” on the stereo, and cry.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Moon Mullins (#37) and Bobdog (#54),
I did indeed spend plenty of time in my life in C-U.
When I was a kid, Garcia’s was the greatest. Bobdog is right, if you are in town, Papa Del’s is the place to go for a great pizza… Do yourself a favor and get the sausage!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
commodore john – #160 (Popeye)
– Yes, yes they are (ech!!)
Thanks everyone for the nice comments on the fencing article – hopefully business will boom and we can get our own place again soon!!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
#150 – Let’s not forget Rusty “Red” Duncan, the ex-lawyer who hit on Sam and is going to marry her ex-boss’ brother.
I can’t classify her and her situation as good or bad, though. But man, is her hair red. Awwoooo! ; )
Bring back Red, to hit on Steve and make Gloria really, really pissed.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Lynnie Baby!
Oh you poor dear little Glacier Grinch, I bet it’s tough to find good help these days, isn’t it? You know, if Elly isn’t careful, John’s going to get fed up and run off some day.
Oh little Frozen Tomato of the Great White North, between the lines I can tell you are crying out for some red hott Fable action. I know that by “doing the dishes” you mean something entirely different, but baby you are going to have to do without my particular utensil. My pepper grinder was simply never meant to fit into your wide-mouth Mason jar, baby; my champagne flute is going nowhere near your chipped crockery. Although your attempts at being subtle are charming albeit in a disturbingly harridan way, such thinly veiled come-ons do not sway me.
Fables do not live by another’s scorecard. You just crook your bony finger at someone else, babybackfat. In other words….suffer, bitch!
Truman A. Fable
Made in China, repeatedly and with vigor
January 28th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
#150: Brenda Starr. The ultimate redhead.
MW: Vera’s playing a subtle and dangerous game. By parading her pastel peach paramour in front of Drew she’s simultaneously berating him for making her sink so low, while challenging him to compete for her affections. The risk is that young doctor Cory and pastel peach man will become so enamored of each other’s wardrobes that Vera will end up forgotten and alone. Which is exactly what she deserves.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
As for Anthony Caine, he might be borderline, but you blond(e)s can have him — we redheads don’t want him. :)
January 28th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
By the way, “blond/blonde” might be the only English adjective that changes the ending depending on the gender, the way adjectives in (say) French do.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Zaq
Frank Zappa was a woman? Thank you folks, I’ll be here all week.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
A3G– While we Mudges may have been spared the traumatic sight of his nipples, Alan was obviously not so lucky, judging by his look in the penultimate panel.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
#153 – True, you owe me a new keyboard AND a flat screen for your FOOB/Elly rant.
I will never, ever, look at doing dishes as I did before reading that.
MW – In panel one, Ryan is checking to see if the batteries and computer chip are still firmly in place.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
CHARTERSTONE FASHION WATCH!
Dr. Drew Corey must be seething with envy since he doesn’t have a black and white check coat to layer over his black and white check jacket. But Vera Shields and her new paramour know what’s de riguer! Vera is hip in her two lilac jackets. Her new beau looks fly in his Tommie’s-hair orange coat and Tommie’s-orange-juice-carton jacket.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
FOOB: This strip was ghosted on the sly by Rod Johnston.
Tiger: I’ll tell you what your aunt Maude didn’t give you, Tiger’s little brother: a cousin back in 1972! (God will get you for that,
WalterMibbit!)S-M: AHA! It’s spider glue that keeps this stupid strip glued to the funny pages!
Zits: He’s just lucky she didn’t get a bunch of complete strangers to throw him an “intervention”.
FW: Figures: even a trip to Vegas, unbound by work commitments, is an exercize in depression in Batiuk’s world. And nowhere near the point of losing money in a casino, either.
S4th: Even before the power went out, the color went out in the Forths’ area. Hey, wouldn’t it be weird if, in papers with all black & white strips, S4th was in color?
Curtis: …And will he say it out of his mouth, or that other mouth on the side of his face?! Ooh, I’m on pins and needles!!
Nancy: This episode was filmed inside a greenhouse.
H&L: No no, Hi, You‘re supposed to give her …. oh, nevermind!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
After seeing the phrase “Make way for the raspberry rocket!” I don’t particularly like the image of the confused bunny waking up in Marvin’s bed nearby.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Sounds like fun. How was she?
January 28th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Alan’s bronzed and/or cadaverous muscly blondness suggests he’s returned from playing Rocky at an amateur-hosted midnight showing of the eponymous Horror Picture Show. “In just seven days [and six long nights!], I can make you a maaaan [just like Luann!]“
January 28th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Speaking of redheads, does anyone think that Abbey from Judge Parker looks a whole lot like Tori Amos?
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/amospast1.jpg
Was reading the cracked article this morning, saw her picture, and thought “It’s Abbey!” I think I read too many comics =P
January 28th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Mrs. Cutout, welcome to the fold! You are among friends here. And nice that you added “trout pout” to the FOOB lexicography
And to all the Cham-bana mudges going on about Papa Del’s, you are making me powerfully hungry. The best pizza around here is a pale imitation of their deliciousity. Good to know Del’s is still around if I ever am in the area again.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
A3G: Bad News: Alan wakes up to find lipstick on one of his glasses.
Worse News: Alan was alone in his apartment all night.
BC: He’d rather die than be a responsible father. Haw Haw!
DT: “What else do police have, chief?”
Squinty eyes and misshapen, stubby hands, apparently.
JP: Whoops, Steve! Did I accidentally leave my deskful of sexy lingerie in your office?
MW: It’s Clobberin’ Time!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Is there a difference between “Next Morning” and “Morning in 3-G”? Is that like a different time zone or something?
Anyway, to my point, just that Alan’s golden nippless bod is obviously lifted from the poster for Fool’s Gold with Matthew McConaughey. I’d link to it, but I can’t seem to make posts with HTML links anymore. So I’ll just paste it: http://foolsgoldmovie.warnerbros.com/poster.html
January 28th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
#193 – Lindsey – I think there’s strong competition for the real-live-Abbey-Spencer candidacy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Tiffany-I_Think_We%27re_Alone_Now-12in.jpg
Note: the present-day version
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Tiffany_on_stage_2003.jpg
falls somewhat short in the paint-red-mullet department, but does not otherwise “fall short” iykwimaityd.
January 28th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
A3G: I notice that the narration box places the final sequence of panels “at Alan’s studio.” Is that the studio where Alan works? In which case the glasses belong to Margo and, um… Blond Guy Who Owns The Studio And Just Flew to China, right? (Curse you, indeterminate A3G character designs!) If it’s Alan’s own studio apartment, then he might have reason to worry about having been unfaithful. If it isn’t, then he only has to worry about why he’s waking up naked at work. Maybe he can pretend someone’s supposed to be sketching him.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
181. True Fable, I like your sig line.
“Made in China, repeatedly and with vigor”
I can only add the “Crafted with pride by forced Chinese prison labor” to that one.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
#180 Calico – I like the way you think, darlin’!
Yeah, let the inevitable Steve-and-Gloria thing get established, then bring in Rusty to stir some wicked into the mix. Oh yeaaaah. And we’d still have good old Solid Steel Sam around to look baffled at all the heartache and pathos and drama and – gasp!- emotion. The only one who’ll really miss out is Abbey. Poor horny, strung-out, paint-thinner abuser Abbey. Well, by then she’ll have turned to paint-thinner since Sam’s given her his quotent of sex for the decade.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Today’s “funnies” –
Okay, I’m running late and they’ve been up for 14 hours and 14 minutes, so rather than try to snark on what’s left [probably only Fred Bassett and Caldecott, and they both were in their usual Zen zone today], I’m going to predict without having read the comments some things that have been said at least three times:
A3G —
So Margo did end up at that bar!
BB —
“No thanks. I’ve seen it more times than I can count.”
Crankshaft —
What?! So Saturday’s house fire is just ignored??
(WT)DT —
What?! So Saturday’s strip is just repeated??
FC —
This would be more interesting if Dolly’s jacket was blue instead of purple.
I(?)GT —
Yup. He’s still an arsonist.
H&L —
That box is too big for that trashcan.
JP —
Oh, yeah, Gloria. I’m sure you will!! ; p
MT —
What’s up with Andy’s lower jaw? Was it replaced by a soup tureen?
or
Is that waterproof ink [and/or paper], Mark?
or
Don’t forget to give Andy the MAP, Mark.
MW —
Who nailed [glued] the donuts to the inside of the display case?
Phantom —
Jungle Patrol!! Now with beach towels!
Pluggers —
I’m blinded by those shorts.
RMMD —
Niki’s hair must be dry, because it’s back to starfish mode.
SlyFox —
Bagel or donut? We report, you decide.
TDIET –
. . . change OF a twenty??
How’d I do?
January 28th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
FC:
Sure, I’ll buy the Pink Panther being a girl, and blue meaning boy. Then the gay Panther would be Purple (Not in the Falwellian sense!).
Other color Panthers:
Black (literally!) Panther – the Goth version
The Irish version: The Green Panther
Vera’s new boyfriend version: The Orange Panther
The Scottish version: The Plaid Panther
Alcoholic version: The Old Panther
Hippie version: The Psychedelic Panther
Smurf version: The Light Blue Panther
Adventure comic version: The Electric Blue Panther
Bob Ross version: The Pthalo Blue Panther
Uninked version: The Non-photo Blue Panther
Liberal version: The Bluestate Panther
Conservative version: The Redstate Panther
Communist version: The Red Panther
“Simpsons” version: The Yellow Panther
Surfer-dude version: The Tan Panther
Nazi version: The Panther Division
Ghost version: The White & Transparent Panther
Old movie version: The Black & White Panther
Roughian version: The Black & Blue Panther
Wealthy version: The Blue Blood Panther
Patriotic version: The Red White & Blue Panther
Military version: The Khaki Panther
Male-in-A3G version: The Colorless Panther
January 28th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
MW: I admit to being somewaht disappointed that the Mustard-Suited Man is Vera’s boyfriend. Yesterday’s strip was far more entertaining when I assumed that he was there for Drew. Dr. Drew’s somewhat forced lechery, overly boyish good-looks, and unease around others suggest a man in deep denial about his sexuality, and I was looking forward to a few weeks of hijinks as Drew must deal with the fallout of his mask being brutally torn away by the sudden appearance of his boyfriend, the Mustard-Suited Man. Then I remembered this is Mary Worth, where no one’s even heard of homosexuality.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
A3G : Why does it hurt when I pee?
January 28th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Josh, it’s a myth that redheads are going extinct. Numerous sources to dispell it can be found online.
DT: panel 1 calling the kettle black.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Tomorrow’s H&J — Jamaal’s “box” is too big for Herb’s “trashcan.”
January 28th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Bodybuider version: The Bronze Panther
Old Prospector version: The Gold Panther
Made of really old metal: The Rust Panther
January 28th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Alan’s consternation isn’t over the glass with lipstick. He’s dimly aware that his anger at LuAnn prompted him to reach deep into the closet for the lavender frock he keeps for “special” occasions.
No, awareness is dawning that he went back to the party and was dancing the lindy hop with that blond guy in glasses who complained that his date dumped him with the lame excuse that she was called to work in the middle of the night. Alan doesn’t remember if he brought the guy home or not.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
#199 Moss Moses – if LJ ever discovers my weakness I am done for: my equally red hot Fable temper wavers in the presence of goats. However, I’m sure she’d squander the opportunity and do something dumb with them, so I think I’m safe enough.
She, however, would feel my wrath for wasting perfectly good goats.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
A3G – 1st panel – Wow, I’m impressed by the executive decision to draw LuAnn to look as stupid as she actually is! Or does she not have her dentures in? Seriously, what’s with the flappy jaw-lip thing going on there?
January 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
MW: Those dounuts seem to be floating in mid-air…watching. Perhaps Drew will throw his rival head first thru a donut.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Vera says her bf is Ryan. But he sure looks like Von. Has Dr. Drew ever met Von?
Drunken artist’s bug-eyes in 3G are great. That’s probably the moment he realized he’s drinking for both his personalities.
January 28th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
176″ My name’s ‘No No Bad Dog” what’s yours?”
one of my favorite Far Side strips ever! :-)
Once, many years ago, I saw an incredibly gorgeous young lady driving her convertable, with a pair of Irish Setters in the front seat with her. Her hair was the exact same color as her dogs. Was most wonderful. (I’m a big fan of redheads.)
January 28th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
MW: Well, did anybody every see such a fancy donut shop, or what? Or maybe somebody pointed this out before, in which ase I slink away into interspace until next time. Comforted by my stack of Nacy and Sluggo comics.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Good God. Why have I never been here before?
Love this. All of it.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
#209 True Fable–
You’re right, Lynn would probably get it all wrong with the goats. She would never have them do anything cool like eating Elly’s flannel granny nightie or one of John’s trains, or being a therapy animal that helps Grandpa Jim learn to speak again.
No, she probably would have it die in a fire while trying to rescue Mike’s latest manuscript from the latest house fire. Or having an illicit affair with the ‘Stache.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I used to work in a Winchell’s donut shop. Vera’s new boyfriend’s clothes would blend right in with the yellow/brown scheme. Drew however, is more of a MacDonalds type. Hamburgler?
January 28th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
A BELATED EXPLICATION OF THE LAST DICK TRACY PLOT:
A quick review of some ground rules. My core mission is to make Dick Tracy make sense. Ghosts don’t exist in the real world. Ergo, ghosts don’t make sense.
I stand by my earlier theory (See http://joshreads.com/?p=1381, posts 164 and 170) that Tess conspired with the police officer who originally told Dick Tracy that the official report stated that the home’s previous owner committed suicide. They were having an affair and wanted to kill Dick so they could be together. The policeman also wanted to kill the mayor for passing him over for promotion. And Tess had a grudge against the governor (see below). They discovered the crazed son of the owner squatting in the house, fed him lies about the governor killing his father, and booby-trapped the house for him to make it easy for him to kill everyone. Tess concocted the fake charity event and the police officer arranged for a bulldozer to level the house and destroy all evidence. The bulldozer company thought they were doing it for the highway.
A crazed female vagabond who was also squatting in the house foiled the plot by alerting Dick to the mayor, who was strung up.
A few years before this entire episode, the governor had purchased the house. He thought it would make a great Governor’s Mansion, and whether he lived there full-time or not, would become a great attraction for the state and a great legacy for him. He planned to fix it up on his own dime since this wasn’t a priority for the state and he couldn’t in good conscience cut other areas of the budget for this project. It turned out to be a lousy real estate investment. The house was so dilapidated it couldn’t be saved. The governor held out hope something could be done with it and refused to demolish it.
About a year later, several plans for a new freeway went before the public, proposed by an independent engineering firm hired by the state department of transportation. One or two of them went through the governor’s property. Another went through property owned by Dick and Tess. The governor disclosed his conflict of interest up front, and recused himself, giving the lieutenant governor authority to sign off on the final decision. Further, to avoid even the appearance of a conflict, he pledged that if designs using his property were chosen, he would accept no compensation for the property. The public overwhelmingly chose one of the designs running through the old mansion as the most convenient. Engineering studies showed that design would manage traffic better and would be the most cost-effective. It was a no-brainer for the transportation department, the legislature and the lieutenant governor. But Dick and Tess were pissed that they wouldn’t be able to sell their property to the state for an outrageous sum.
Early in the evening, the governor was babbling about how scared he was. That’s because he knew the actual police report stated it was patricide, not suicide. Lease Leonard disclosed that when she sold him the property. The governor told Dick the whole story. Dick realized something was up.
So, how to explain the note? http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/1/16&name=Dick_Tracy
Simple — a little sleight of hand and an obvious forgery. Dick found the jewelry box last night. It contained a short story written by Rachel Hennessey. Rachel loved noir-ish pulp fiction about gumshoes, and tried to write a few herself. The last line of this one was, of course, “Justice must be done.” Dick saw his chance. He erased the top portion of the story and, using the handwriting of the last sentence as a model and the information from the governor to add to the story’s veracity, emulated her handwriting in a way that would seem to implicate the governor and yet tell such a generalized story that forensics work on Rachel would never be able to disprove it. However, Rachel wrote at 45-degree angle, something Dick sloppily neglected to copy.
If you doubt Dick had it in for the governor, just think for a moment about his plan to take out the bad guy and look at just how close the governor comes to being killed:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2007/12/19&name=Dick_Tracy
The governor could be forgiven for his bluster and for not being able to formulate the obvious argument that he recused himself and didn’t charge the state for the property. After all, he nearly died.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
# 215 — Welcome, Jenny! I had the same feeling when I first arrived.
And let me add, dear brother/sister Mudges, that this site gives me hope *sniff* for the future of writing. I just visited the website forum of my regional newspaper, and if I thought the comments there really represented the views and literary skills of most citizens, I might suicide myself.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
# 218 Nanny — WOW! *pauses for goggle-eyed staring at the post* After that, Jungle Patrol should be a snap for you!
January 28th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
184. SQB. —
But I always change the ending depending on the gender, because, um . . . oh, wait a minute . . . huh, you’re talking about word stuff . . . er, never mind . . .
MT — Man, the intensity on Mark’s face as he tries to write a note either means that it’s a struggle for him to remember the alphabet or that he has realized that he’s trying to write with a styptic pencil.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
All hail Gold-Digging, Jungle-Patrolling Nanny — our own King Canute against the tide of suck that is Dick Tracy.
Good luck.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Ah, but can G-DJ-PN find six differences between two consecutive Dick Tracy strips?
January 28th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
BC – Amen.
DT – The chief looks like the Fonz with a necktie.
GT – I’ll bet my next paycheck Andrew is a pyro.
MW – Vera is about to tell Ryan to “Talk to the Hand, baby!”
Ph – They’re flaunting their breasts, of course the Colonel will see them.
SF – Put the ice cream outside, dumbass.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
#218 – Gold-Digging, Jungle-Patrolling Nanny
That is the only possible scenario. Good detective work!
January 28th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
#198 SSB — Actually, you’re thinking of Eric’s fancy-schmacny art gallery, where Alan has been brought on as a temporary curator for the show of his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend’s crappy paintings. Alan’s studio is the carbon-monoxide-filled deathtrap that he let Lu Ann use while he was drying out in some clinic down south.
Josh
January 28th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Paperback Rifler –
I just saw your Neil Diamond parody from Friday. It was truly hurlicious, and I mean that in the best way.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I don’t want to depress my fellow ‘mungeons, and please correct me, but I fear this is that last week of Scaduto’s TDiET.
*sigh* At least FOOB can’t take it over.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
#218 – Gold-Digging, Jungle-Patrolling Nanny -
You are spending WAY too much time trying to analyze and understand a fourth-rate comic strip. I suggest you step back from your keyboard, take a deep breath, and join the you-know-what.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Red on the head……
January 28th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Fire in the hole!
January 28th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Haven’t caught up on the weekend comments (up to and including this thread), but I’ll throw this out:
Josh, I think that your concerns about the imminent extinction of redheads are all because of your “hairdresser,” who undoubtedly has given you all sorts of wrong-headed ideas regarding redheaded demographics in the modern age and who more than likely espouses the use of fancy-shmancy conditioners and frou-frou gels and the like. Feh! What you need to do is take your haircut business to a good old-fashioned barber, who will give you only minimal chitchat and a “one style fits all” haircut that will probably look pretty decent once you’ve given it a few weeks to grow out. And while you’re waiting for your hair to grow out, it helps to remember the immortal words of Hobbes the Tiger: “You know what’s the rage this year? . . . Hats.”
And apropos of little, today’s Get Fuzzy put me in mind of the following, which is less grossly biological than my more recent efforts. Apologies to Simon and Garfunkel, to fans of “The 59th Street Bridge Song” by Simon and Garfunkel, and to everybody everywhere:
Slow down; you move too fast.
I need a chance to kick your ass, just
Wait until my fist has flown;
Don’t turn around; I’m feelin’ punchy . . .
Da da da da da da da,
Feelin’ punchy . . .
Hello, Satchel; where’s my catnip?
How would you like a great big fat lip?
And I’ll bop your head for free;
Doo-de-doo-doo; feelin’ punchy . . .
Da da da da da da da,
Feelin’ punchy . . .
I got catnaps to take, but that won’t make me quit;
I’ve made a resolve to punch, pummel, and hit.
You can read all about it in my poetry —
Then I’ll hit you. Me so punchy!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la . . .
January 28th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
#229. AhClem and #218. Gold-Digging, Jungle-Patrolling Nanny:
There is no such thing as overanalysis when it comes to the noirfascistic wet dream that is Richard Tracy. To further buttress her account, when Tess was “worried about, Dick in that old house” it was not Tracy to whom she was referring. Whilst setting up this rather straightforward plot, Tess and Mr. Police Officer had a tryst in the mansion for which Tess had not planned birth control. It is as plain as the nose on Cathy’s face.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
#223 Marthas Rolling Pin – Nope, there’s only one difference between any two consecutive Dick Tracy strips: the last panel.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
181. TF: I shall never look at a champagne flute the same way again…
January 28th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Crankshaft: “And in other news, suicides have skyrocketed amongst patients at Cleveland area hospitals…”
January 28th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Gold Digging Nanny, get help. I tried to read Dick Tracy but I had to quit. Still can’t shake Gil Thorp, and I don’t want to.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I’m not sure if Ryan is going to be a power player in the Santa Royale fashion scene, but for now, the rest are just kickin’ back:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2227024442/
January 28th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
#237 – Bootsy:
I still can’t shake Gil Thorp either. Nor can I hit him, slap him, gouge him, maim him or do any of the things to him that he so richly deserves. If ever there were a poster boy for the necessity of merit based education, it would be Thorp.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
What kind of twisted role playing is Vera up to by calling Von “Ryan”?
January 28th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I don’t know what I find more disturbing; the notion that there are Alan fans out there or the fact that you assume the denizens of 3-G are anatomically correct.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
#238 bats [etc.] :[ –
That is frickin’ brilliant. Where do you find the time?
#240 Sans Sense –
Maybe she’s being Freudian. Something about the Von “Ryan” Express.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
#241. Gee:
Which one’s Alan anyway? I thought Eric missed his plane and went out and got hammered ending up at Eric’s studio. Or maybe Margo’s assistant got sick of playing second fiddle to Ruby and had a few too many Appletinis at the Regal Beagle. Oh hell, the only males I can distinguish are the professor (he’s Bigfoot) and the guy with the bolo ties.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
242. gh –
Genius! Sinatra movie reference, trains and tunnels all in one! I am awed.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
That’s not lipstick my friend. It’s OJ’s bloody glass. Better keep your aching head on a swivel.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
JP – Perhaps Gloria is familiar with the legend of Antianara .
January 28th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Personally, I’d love a shirt that said “Add Soy – Enjoy!” with generic smiling 50’s face.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Jeremy’s mom’s line in zits today is very, very good. Even my mom never came up with that one. Man, I coulda used that!
January 28th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
#232 Paperback Rifler – Brilliant work on the 59th Street Bridge Song! Of course; you are after all one of our best snark parodists. I sang it aloud and now my neighbors will show me some damn respect!
#236 bats, Avian Division of the Jungle Patrol :[ – Bwahaha! Honey, there’s nothing quite like Fable stemware. ;-)
January 28th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
NYCC –
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/caption
Coffee first, remember?
Don’t blame me. You were supposed to run the dishwasher last night.
We’ve got to talk about all those long distance charges from Samarkand.
Relax. I’m sure the horde meeting will go fine.
Your mother called. She said to remind you she’s out of tribute.
I saw a special on Tamerlane last night. Now that was a conqueror.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
MW: Oh man. Unfunny and wrong wrong wrong. I really thought for sure it was Von or Ben Frank. Who the hell is Ryan? No fair bringing in vague sartorially-challenged blonde men we have never met when there already are vague sartorially-challenged blonde ones we have. What is this A3G?
Is this going to end like the dog plot — with Drew saying “Oh, your seeing someone? Well, I wish you the best — and the donuts are on me!” ? Bah. I want to see stalking at least. Clumsy, obvious stalking.
I bust myself down to KP duty for Jungle Patrol — peeling coconuts with my tiny, tiny hands.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
“you’re” seeing someone — geez
bring more coconuts
January 28th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
NYCC:
I hope Father Flaherty didn’t upset you with all that “Scourge of God” talk last night…
January 28th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Tuesday: LuAnn relates her and Alan’s fight to her brother Santino, who tells her to “Wait there.” Unfortunately, this is A3G, so his arrival at the toll booth features nothing more interesting than him having to search for a quarter.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Waaiiiiit a minute. Marvin has a crazy dream and then wakes up, blaming something he ate? This is a veiled reference to Winsor McCay’s classic “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend” (and possibly “Little Nemo in Slumberland”)!
I mean, without the visual imagination.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
“OW – my head!” was enough to make me glad I’m not drinking milk.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:26 am
I think it just says “Add 50¢.” You can add foam to your soda for 50 cents. Or maybe the carbonation is extra.
I think Shaun White, the snowboarder, is really cute. Redheads forever! I dye mine red, but I’m with y’all in spirit. That aside, I’ve read his Wikipedia article before and he has retired the moniker “Flying Tomato,” which was applied to him by the press. So don’t kick him out of the club yet.