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The Unbearable Heaviness Of Bird-Being

Shoe, 8/15/12

Haha, the first panel of this strip is amazing, with the Perfesser demonstrating some of the most spectacular ennui the comics pages have ever seen. The heavy lids, the eyes betraying the intense exhaustion that comes from being alive — it just goes to show how incredibly soul-wearying it must be to be a bird-man in Treetops. In panel two, the Perfesser perks up enough to lean a little towards the television (assuming that his spine isn’t just permanently warped by his self-loathing slouch) because he’s heard some intriguing news: is there another species even more depressed than he is? Let’s watch to find out!

Skyler, meanwhile, is depressed for more concrete reasons: the living room in his home only has seating for one, meaning that he has to either stand up while watching TV with the Perfesser or retire quietly to his room. It’s almost as if his uncle never wanted him to live there in the first place!

Apartment 3-G, 8/15/12

Well, I guess Evan’s family life has totally prepared him for having Margo as a boss! “Aunt Cathy, you know you’ve always been very important to me and I just want to thank you for … hello? Hello? Huh, I think she was starting to say ‘Whatever you need, my darling nephew, I’ll be there for you,’ but then we lost the connection.”

237 responses to “The Unbearable Heaviness Of Bird-Being”

  1. Ed Dravecky
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Harry Harrison died this morning at the age of 87. Along with being a legendary author (he created the Stainless Steel Rat and Bill the Galactic Hero, wrote dozens of novels, and inspired Soylent Green), editor, and illustrator, he wrote the newspaper Flash Gordon comic strip from 1958 to 1964. He will be missed.

  2. TheDiva
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Are we supposed to recognize Cathy? The entire supporting cast is based of the same 3-4 models so I can’t tell by looking at her.

    Shoe: Who decided clams were so happy, anyway? They sit on rocks for a while before getting eaten. Doesn’t sound like a path to emotional fulfillment to me.

  3. Droopy Says
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Childhood is that magical time when Pluggers discover that they will always feel overworked and underpaid, in a world that somehow doesn’t value them enough for being Pluggers.

  4. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Luann – And so TJ bided his time. Day after day, week after week, he slaved away at the minimum-wage job, upselling idiot teenagers to a larger weenie with more juice, slowly working his way into Ann’s confidence. Another year, two tops, and he would have earned Ann’s trust, proven his worth. Finally, it would be time to strike. Finally, Ann would receive the humiliation she deserved for that one time when she told Brad to get back to work and stop goofing off in front of all his friends!

    Meanwhile, Brad sat at home alone. He had long forgotten the few weeks he worked at Weenie World, except for his fond memory of the day he got to wear the headset and take the drive-thru orders. “Pew! Pew!”, he shot imaginary lasers at the cockroaches crawling across his lap. TJ used to keep the place clean, but no more. Unlike his previous job, when he came home from this one covered in weenie juice, TJ wasn’t grinning ear to ear. He was tired and worn down and only stayed awake long enough to watch his favorite videotape, the training video with the firemen wrestling each other, for a few minutes before going to bed.

  5. Dennis Jimenez
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Shoe – And this bird you cannot cha-ean-ean-ean-ean-ean-eange….

    A3G – Aunt Cathy – an homage to the late Helen Gurley Brown? You decide….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  6. Ed Dravecky
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#y284): The major hot dog chain here is Weinerschnitzel and they’re in 10 states and on Guam. So, not national, but fairly large. They used to have a much bigger presence in D/FW but have fallen back to a few stores in the outer suburbs. (Luckily, I live in one of those suburbs. Mmm, corn dogs.)

  7. seismic-2
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    A3G: So what was Aunt Cathy’s important role in helping Evan achieve success in life? I’m thinking she’s the person who bought Evan his business wardrobe, consisting of a dozen identical camel sports jackets and gold ties. Aunt Cathy has a weird sense of humor.

  8. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Hunh. Looks as though Dean Young and Stephan Pastis were listening in on our conversation yesterthread. (Gotta love Rat’s eyebrow-raise, too.) At first, I didn’t realize the Elmo had a skateboard, and I thought his mom was just making him walk around with a helmet.

    MT: Who besides me is surprised and impressed that Rusty didn’t yell after the sheep killers, “Ha ha, fellows! We already took out the memory card!”?

    But why was Rusty walking around with a non-functioning camera around his neck? I suppose it complements his non-functioning cognition.

    Meanwhile, Cherry has to make sure that they take plenty of timing looking at the photos and discussing the matter; after all, the sheep killers need to go home, look at the camera, realize the card isn’t there, and then come back to LoFo to threaten the lot of them, all before Cherry gets around to calling the sheriff.

    S-M: Peter looks genuinely stumped: “Why, I don’t know! But this is no time for riddles, MJ!”

    MW: Ian looks downright bereft that people he knew were in the news—in fact, by the second panel, he’s already dropped a good 30 pounds due to his emotional stress.

  9. McManx
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail — Cherry’s head begins to swell twice its size as her brain actually puts some logical thought patterns together.

    Spiderman — What clown would want to join a circus that displays the severed head of a clown on a pike?

    Judge Parker — There is just something about Avery’s sunglasses with the squinty slits. It’s like those raciest joke glasses from the sixties that was supposed to make you look like you were Asian.

    Hi and Lois — I just got an image of Batman wiping his ass with his cape. Dark Knight indeed.

    Gil Thorp — Oh snap!!! Biggest bitch ever.

  10. Little Guy
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#1): boxcar saturn margo.

    Rest in Peace, Stainless Steel Rat Author.

  11. TheDiva
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Wow, Crankshaft must really be desperate to water his lawn–he’s resorted to doing something nice.

    FW: What, did Batiuk not hate on Roberta enough during the Significant and Important Gay Prom Arc?

    Luann: Is TJ feeding Ann stupid ideas so she’ll look bad, or are we supposed to think these are legitimate strokes of genius? I’m not sure which one would make me hate this strip more.

    Marvin: Well, I suppose if anyone would know what that tastes like it would be Marvin.

    MW: “Yes…unfortunately. The drunk cruise ship captain left too many variables; I KNEW I should have gone with the terrorists on the airplane instead…”

    Pluggers have kids for the cheap manual labor.

    SM: “This way the only people who will get hurt are carnies and other clowns! It’ll be perfect!”

  12. Mibbitmaker
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Batiuk is even writing for clams in Shoe! Have you no shame, Tommyboy?!

    A3G: Waitaminute…. panel 1… Evan is actually a…. an individual, a distinct person! Totally not a cookie-cutter same old generic A3G male! This is so –
    Nope. Panel 2… back to the same quasi-Dan Quayle as always. Damn.

    Meanwhile… Who IS this mystery aunt? She made this happen… somehow… then, zip!, gone. Intriguing. Dull, but intriguing.

  13. pastordan
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

  14. Mibbitmaker
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    New PCK is now up!

    The Enter(tainment edit)torials continue with one from 1993. This one is made possible by Ziggy.
    No, not THAT Ziggy!

    (hint: Scott Bakula caricature today)

  15. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Beetle: Looks like Lt. Fuzz’s gambit yesterday backfired! HEY-O!

    MW: Jeez! Ian and Toby sure look bummed out that their friends survived their little a nautical adventure! Is it because they bet the “over,” i.e., that Wilbur and Dawn were smashed like a bowl of eggs when the boat capsized, or are they simply on the come-down from the vicarious thrill of knowing that people you know were caught up in a big tee-vee news story?

    Nancy: I am Fritzi.

    Zippy: Stratch that. I am Zippy. ZIPPY! ZIPPY! ZIPPY!

  16. Doctor Handsome
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Evan, you dunce. Don’t you realize Aunt Cathy’s phone is being tapped by the FBI? Thank goodness she hung up before he elaborated: “Thanks for all the threats and bribes you made on my behalf, Cathy Graham! It sure is nice to have an aunt who runs an interstate criminal organization that trafficks illicit prescription opioids throughout the Northeast, Cathy Graham of Palmyra, New Jersey! I think Ms. Magee really likes me!”

  17. Mibbitmaker
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#13): Now, if that had said “potrzebie”, that’d be something!

  18. Johnny Knuckles
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    A3G: Aunt Cathy cuts off callers by breaking her phone. Badass.

  19. But What Do I Know?
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    The Ghost Who Plods — You know, I haven’t read this in about six months–and today, I find that Kit is screwing around in Mexico! Even Mary Worth had four different plots in that time. . .

    A3G — iPhones go “click” when you hang up?

  20. Doctor Handsome
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Who’s funding these jerkoff marine biologists, anyway? Because they’re clearly just making shit up now.

  21. Justin
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    “And I promise Aunt Cathy, I’ll buy us some cell phones NOT made in the 1990s with the money from my new job!”

    “Whatever dear, it’s not like I can even hold this one right-side up anyway.”

  22. Dood
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Those lightning-bolt panels really only add excitement when Margo enters a scene.

  23. pastordan
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    Amazing Spider-Man: Mary Jane fits right into that circus poster. Direct continuity, man.

    Apt. 3-G: Evan’s got a busy day ahead himself, what with replacing fancy restaurant coffee with Folger’s crystals and hosting witty banter on late-night television.

    Gil: is accurate, right down to the store where we get the treats.

    Judge Parker: Is Avery going to convince Bea that there’s more money in catering to rich assholes than in selling drugs on the streets? Obviously, he doesn’t know much about the California medical marijuana market. Or maybe he does, and he doesn’t give a damn that he stumbled into Bea’s 40 acres of Maui Wowie, what, six months ago? It’d be a nice sideline while catering to rich assholes.

    Mark Trail: What the hell, Cherry? Why do you have so many pictures of Mark dressed up in your clothes? Stick to the poachers, kid.

    Mary Worth: I thought they killed off ol’ neckbeard there a few years ago? Or did they just fire the model and replace him with an aging member of Los Lobos?

    Moose and Molly: A kid walks into a bar and says, “Yo mama so fat that…”

    Snuffy Smith: Well, I guess we know what a grumper looks like now.

    Tom Toles: I love the way he draws Paul Ryan. He’s been practicing, I can tell.

    Zippy: I, er, did this yesterday. Only it wasn’t so much “in the rain” as “filling out a form.”

  24. Esther Blodgett
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#11): I can’t be the only one to misread your Funky comment as Significant and Important Gay Porn Arc. Can I?

  25. pastordan
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#17): I am so stupid. I thought of the obvious joke as it was posting: “This reminds me of Dave.”

  26. Dood
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Skyler would do well to gather up all of the Perfesser’s light bulbs.

  27. StriderGirl
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Actually, the original phrase in the English language was, “Happy as a clam at high tide.” Presumably because, at high tide, the water would be covering the clams’ hiding spots in the sand and no one could come along and dig them up and shuck them and put them in little cans for wannabe chefs to dump into their store-bought alfredo sauce in order to impress their boyfriend’s parents.

    So if 98% of clams are no longer happy, that must mean that the world’s oceans have ceased to produce high tides. That’s not ennui on the Perfesser’s face, Josh, that’s despair at the thought that he might have to admit that those global-warming folks might have a point!

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    LaCuc: *golf clap*

    Lio: *golf clap*

    OtH: no it does NOT!

    PBS: ummm, how did Pastis respond so quickly to yesterthread?!? (o goodness, so is Blondie!)

    Zits: ummmm, virgin sacrifice?

    FW: is it too much to hope for a booming “OK” to come from the sky?

    Lockhorns: TMI.

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Love Is.. . .fucking in the airport lounge.

  30. gleeb
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Shoe: The comics page is where idiom’s dessicated corpse is displayed after it has died.

    ‘bean: More band crap. Y’know, you could foil her plans by dissolving the band. Just sayin’.

  31. Chareth Cutestory
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: Every panel in today’s strip makes holding a telephone look like a hell nightmare for people with arthritis.

  32. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @StriderGirl (#27): I’m not so sure Global Warming is to blame, as it will raise sea-levels, which ought to make clams happier, but if we’re talking tides, that means something cosmically disastrous has happened to the Shoeniverse’s moon!

  33. seismic-2
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#13): That card seems really useful. He needs to hand them out whenever he arrives, just in case someone thinks Dave’s not here.

  34. Esther Blodgett
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    A3G: I haven’t been following this storyline, but I certainly hope that Auntie Whatevergottagoclick becomes a main character.

    Curtis: Gonna take a wild guess here. A neighbor called 911 after seeing the boys vivisecting cats with broken light bulbs. Oh, like the real answer is going to be any less batguano crazy.

    Dtm: That’s not menacing. “Look, Joey, I spelled ‘cat vivisection’ with my alphabet soup” – that would be menacing.

  35. Illustrator Steve
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT – A writer’s comment yesterday has it pegged. There must be an extremely high amount of lead and other toxins contaminating the Lost Forest water supply!
    …just ask Doc…Hey, Doc, do you think there is lead in your water supply?
    “NO, he’s probably outside!”
    …CASE CLOSED!

  36. pugfuggly
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    A3G My theory is that Kevin and Aunt Cathy escaped some secrective luddite religious community together, based on the fact that neither is totaly sure how a cell phone works.

    ASM “You’re right, MJ, nobody cares if carnies get hurt!”

    MT Is there a gas leak in the Trail cabin? These two are thinking at the cognitive level of a 4-year-old.

    MW Wow! It’s really rare for Mary to break the fourth wall and address her audience directly. “Dawn and Wilbur will return in a few days”, she tells us, “but in the meantime, join me for more adventures by the pool with my cast of quirky supporting actors!”

  37. Ian Beste
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#17): What kind of furshlugginer comment is that? @But What Do I Know? (#19): iPhones that go click–there’s an app for that. @seismic-2 (#33): No, man, I’m Dave!

  38. Clint Brawny
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    So is today’s Beetle Bailey a continuation of yesterday?

  39. bunivasal
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    I couldn’t have gotten this job without you, Aunt Cathy! Not with my terrible Shrinking Face Syndrome.

  40. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

  41. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Aunt Cathy is obviously a time-traveling Margo Magee come from the future, most likely because bullying a masochistic boob like Evan was just too much damn fun the first time around.

  42. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y208): SBp: = Speed Bump. one-panel strip of occasional brilliance.

    @Hei of the Zaraki Company (#y331): that’s what I’m here for, bringing teh kewt!

    OCD is one of the best emergency cuteness sites out there. The Daily Puppy and The Daily Otter are also pretty good.

  43. Horace Broon
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    A3G: “All I did was pretend to be Linda Every when the Magee woman phoned, so she wouldn’t hear about the killing spree.”

    ASM: It’s 100% foolproof! By which I mean even a fool could only come up with that plan if their “inspiration” was 100 proof.

    BB: Hey, continuity! This strip clearly follows on from yesterday’s.

    GT: “You got it! To Count Weirdly’s time machine!”

    MT: And that’s when they realise Rusty never took the lens-cap off.

  44. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#36):

    Is there a gas leak in the Trail cabin? These two are thinking at the cognitive level of a 4-year-old.

    Gas leaks make you smarter?

  45. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    GT: “…And start being 15-20 years older, sport a mullet, and open up a sex dojo.”

  46. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    A3G – Clearly, Aunt Bea is the person whose phone number was on the business card and who impersonated the reference in order to get him the job in the first place.

    9CL -So, Seth spends his days sewing Edda’s wedding dress and writing choreography for her relationship to Amos. Being the Magic Gay Roommate to the designated Specialest Snowflake doesn’t really leave much time for living your own life, or paying attention to your own relationships.

    ASM – They should use this device for all their plots! Spidey could catch all his nemeses this way!

    “It’s a poster for Comic Con! What Green Goblin could resist attending?”
    “It’s a poster for the upcoming performance of The Ring! What Norse God could resist attending?”
    “It’s a poster for the new Mason’s Lodge! What brick could resist dropping in?”

  47. Cloudbuster
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: But the creepy old man-demon ass is perfect.

  48. Dennis Jimenez
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29): Hey baby – wanna join the tarmac ground zero club….

  49. Chyron HR
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    JP – Tune in tomorrow, when we’ll hear Bea say, “I like you, shorty! It’s too bad we’re gonna kill you.”

  50. K. Ivan Ruppert
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Skyler’s staying right where he is, and it has nothing to do with availability of seating. It’s entirely because the Perfesser is not wearing anything under that bathrobe and Skyler will take no chances when failure means an eyeful of elderly bird dong.

  51. Inkwell
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Lio- I started to go all crazy about how “no, you fool, Squidward’s an octopus, his name is a play on Edward, those post-movie writers got his species wrong, wahh”, but then I noticed the other poster was of Doctor Octopus.

    It’s just as well because 98% of fans less obsessed than I would correct me.

  52. debussy fields
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    MW– “They never were all right. You don’t know them very well, do you, honey?”

  53. Mibbitmaker
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Archie: An artist shills for CBS?

    BBailey: Where did they stage the exercise? Afghanistan?!

    DT: “Our devious plan to get even with you was expertly healing your wounds. ….Wait, that can’t be right….”

    Glibporn: Capping off your thoughts in French? Brooke — How Diane Chambers can you get?

  54. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#51): could be worse. Ishmael could have been posting monster girls. (not really safe for work.)

  55. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#46): “It’s a poster for beach volleyball! What Sandman could resist attending?”

    “It’s a poster for a radioactive clay workshop! What Puppet Master could resist attending?”

    “It’s a poster for a BDSM convention! What Shocker could resist attending?”

    “It’s a personals ad for rape fantasy cosplay! What human vampire could resist attending? And what luck! Our number is already listed on it!”

  56. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I like the fact that the watering wardens in Crankshaft get to wear groovy helmets.

    // Uniforms are important.

  57. debussy fields
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MT–Hey, Doc, if you want to be a part of this comic strip, you’ve got to DO something once in a while. It’s not enough to stick your face into the first panel every fifth day. SAY something! DO something! At least stick up for your sorry self when Rusty says for the millionth time (and he’s going to any minute now): “I wish Mark were here.” If you really don’t know what to say, start with this: “Fuck you, Rusty!”

    And if you need something to do, go and investigate who threw that rug that we see in panel two.

  58. Flat 4 H
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    My Foxconn iPhone goes “crick” when I hang up.

  59. Rusty
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Shoe: The Perfessor loses his purple legwarmers/tube socks between panels one and two.

  60. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#11) on Spiderman: I don’t see anything wrong with that plan.

    @K. Ivan Ruppert (#50): “Elderly Bird Dong.” Great band name or next movie involving Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller?

  61. Cal
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Actually, not just clams but all shellfish — acid rain and dissolved smog lead to the acidification of the oceans, breaking down their protective calcium shells — most clams are now unable to reproduce.
    …So, darn tootin’ they ain’t happy!

  62. Der Schnärkïnätör
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Juggs Parker – Seriously, WHERE THE HELL are they going with the plotline?

  63. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    JP: Is it capital infusion you need? (Hey now!) I know… JP Morgan! No sweat!

    S-M: Who called it? That’s right, go back and (re-)read my Sunday Indulgent Comment and know that I am Lord.

  64. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Pearls – We know Pastis pops onto this site and it sure looks like he’s commenting on yesterday’s “entitled students” thread. Hey, Steve, take some funny pills, willya?

    Curtis – I admire Diane’s grammatically correct “This is she,” but the jumping over the table? Not so much.

    RMMD – This is taking on JP’s breathtaking pace. Slacker nephew, apartment building, San Diego….WE GET IT! Rex as ombudsman is a different direction, though.

    LuAnn – TJ certainly has my attention with his martini idea. I like mine dirty, with vodka and extra olives. How this fits into a teen spot serving hot dogs should be interesting, not to mention illegal.

    BB – Tied in with yesterday’s strip, it is very clear that the opponents are a bunch of homophobes.

    MT – Are we now photoshopping pix of Patsy Cline and Tommy Rettig?

    GT – “You know I’d cut off my right arm to get a date with you.”

  65. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD – But, anyway, enough about business! This is a doctor’s office, after all! Now, my receptionist tells me you had a heart attack in the waiting room. Sounds like I’m going to need my stethoscope and smelling salts!

  66. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    I want to see the secret Eternal Bowl of Salmon Treats and the Ball of Eternal Bounciness.

    What the hell is Frazz talking about? I’ve had cold root beer in England. Real genuine brewed stuff, not that crappy root beer flavored soda-like product in the fountains throughout America.

    Geeze, couldn’t we get that Judge Parker artist to draw Toby Cameron? She’s looking a little uneven and gravity-laden, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. It’s her boobs. In case you didn’t know what I meant. Now you do. Know what I meant.

  67. Out of Snark
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    “Thanks Aunt Cathy for pretending to be my boss Linda Emery at CFT. My bogus resume and my cheap business card with your phone number passed Ms. Magee’s reference check and I’m INSIDE now. Bwahahahaha!” http://www.chron.com/entertainment/comics-games/comic/Apartment-3-G/31180/2012-08-10.php

  68. Mysterious shirtless lawyer
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Dude, dude, dude! Two fucking words, two fucking words, and I’m only going to say them once: MARK TRAIL!

  69. Der Schnärkïnätör
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#8):

    But why was Rusty walking around with a non-functioning camera around his neck? I suppose it complements his non-functioning cognition.

    My guess: This is a recycled strip from years ago during the days of film, with updated captions, where Cherry took the film (and not a “memory chip”* out of the camera and put in a new roll. Rusty then ran around with the camera until it was taken from him. The bad guys won’t know that don’t have the so-called incriminating photos until they get the film developed.

    *Aaarrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!

  70. billman
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#1):

    Sorry to hear about that. As a pre-teen I discovered the Stainless Steel Rat and really loved it. Upon rereading some of them later and Bill the Galactic Hero in my twenties i discovered (maybe it was just the copies i had?) the man was incapable of using a contraction if you put a gun to his head. He would have characters say, in regular dialogue and not for emphasis, things like “I should not go there” or “I am going to the store”. People don’t talk like that! it really messed it up for me when i noticed that.

    Still and all a good writer who created some really indelible characters and engrossing, action-packed stories, he will be missed.

  71. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#66): Today’s Frazz represents everything that absolutely sucks about the strip. Push mower? Inane, obscure reference and put down? A kid with no kid friends hanging with an adult? Oh, yeah. It’s all there today.

  72. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#66): If Toby’s panel 2 boobs are as droopy as her panel 2 eyes, it gives new meaning to the phrase “knock-kneed.”

  73. DownInTheValley
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    A3G: Aunt Cathy has an app on her phone that makes it go “click” when she hangs up on people (which I’m guessing is frequently).

  74. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Monty — Just sand them down, throw up some mud and paint, and call it good.

  75. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @Unwitting Hummingbird (#72): Sad but true. She’s been perkier in the past.

  76. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Please notice the extreme care in which Brooke visually crafted today’s panels. Compare and contrast. Two English horns then two chorus members. Notice the curves of Amos’s cello and then Seth’s shoulder. My goodness, this is ART.

  77. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @DownInTheValley (#73): “Let me tell you something, Evan. You try any of your needy shit on me, try hugging me out in public, I’ll take your phone away from you, stick it up your ass, and keep hanging up until it goes ‘click.’”

  78. greghousesgf
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    That’s supposed to be his uncle? so Shoe is another one of those cartoons where kid characters have uncles but no parents. That weirdness has shown up in cartoons ranging from Popeye to Inspector gadget without explanation.

  79. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Aunty Cathy, why do you look exactly like Margo’s secretary?

    MW-Of course Wilbur and Dawn are not okay. He’s obsessed with sandwiches and she has an easily addictive personality. It would take years of therapy to make them better.

  80. Chaze126
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Just to show how clueless I can be with these lookalike A3G characters, I thought Aunt Cathy was Margo’s receptionist. Same white hair, same glasses, same green dress. But what’s new in the A3G-verse?

  81. Chaze126
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#79): Jinx, you own me a coke…..

  82. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    In contrast to the clever wordplay in these comments, I give you Boogers!

  83. Anonymous
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    I really hope that when Rusty and Cherry download what’s on the “memory chip,” they find a series of photos of the poachers with Rusty’s thumb obscuring their faces, followed by a single picture of a naked Mark pleasuring himself with a stack of pancakes.

  84. Perky Bird
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#83): That was me. Darn cookie monster!

  85. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Julia Child would have turned 100 today!

    And this is for Dagwood – yes, there really is a pizza museum!
    http://bites.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/08/14/13278095-any-way-you-slice-it-pizza-museum-is-paradise-for-pie-lovers

  86. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#81): Obviously, you “owe” me a coke. Plus, I thought I killed that 126 forever. Gotta change my iPad keyboard shortcuts.

  87. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    So, Mark Trail did a pot plantation story, and almost as soon as it ended, Judge Parker started doing one (its second) — and now we have Rex Morgan, MD and Apartment 3G doing Bitch-Aunts-On-Wheels. It seems like the syndicates make the soapers choose from a short list of subjects or something, but to what end?

    @Dennis Jimenez (#5):

    Aunt Cathy – an homage to the late Helen Gurley Brown? You decide….

    Maybe she’s an homage to the (very) late Elizabeth Gurley Flynn. “Whatever. I have a busy day [overthrowing capitalism] — Gotta run [from the cops]!” CLICK. “Jeez, I can’t wait till we abolish the family!”

  88. DaveyK
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    If A3C can be believed, Mayor Bloomberg, fresh from his ban on super-sized sodas, recently made some sort of extreme “truth in advertising” decree, resulting in a city where everything is simply labeled for what it is, such as “Bus” or “Books.”

  89. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Aunt Cathy appears to be in the seedy part of town and ready to enter a dirty book store. She has no time for Evan’s mundane niceties.

  90. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Aunt Cathy appears to be in the seedy part of town and ready to enter a dirty book store. She has no time for Evan’s mundane niceties. And, yes, I am now searching for that “Click” app. I think it’s cool. Just like Aunt Cathy.

  91. agony
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Unwitting Hummingbird (#15):
    the main trunk carried off both their legs…

  92. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#90): Meanwhile (meanwhile) I am in a repetitive (repetitive) mood today (today, today, today……

  93. Marc
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#23): Tom Toles and I are alumnis of the same high school.

  94. seismic-2
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#76): Bassoons, not English Horns. That’s the sort of slip-up that convinces Brooke that we’re all beefwits.

    Of course, he would think that no matter what, so carry on.

  95. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    So Aunt Cathy is related to Blueblood Melissa? Seems like it, as the bitch quotient for each is off the charts.

  96. Fashion Police
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    We note that Mrs. Diana Walker has opted for the June Morgan look. Just the thing while your hair is growing out after a stint in prison. We also note that strapless loungewear seems to be this season’s trend in casual cavewear. We had been wondering.

  97. AhClem
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Oh, Mary! It was horrible! Yes, Dawn and I were rescued, but all of our luggage went down with the ship. My steamer trunk full of Miracle Whip — GONE! [sob!]“

  98. Snarkotix Addict
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Hmm… why is Aunt Cathy avoiding Evan? Hey, maybe Evan will discover Aunt Cathy is really his biological mother, and they’re off to South Dakota!

  99. AhClem
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

  100. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @agony (#91): God damn them all! They were told they’d cruise the seas for Italian rolls!

  101. Snarkotix Addict
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Martini weenies? Cocktail franks in gin? Why that’s so… what’s the word? – Disgusting!

  102. odinthor
    August 15th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Adam & Andy. — OK, we’re getting close to Tom of Finland territory with Adam & Andy; but the current offering got a chuckle out of me.

    Archie. — Second time I’ve laughed today. Time to check my meds.

    Meaning of Lila. — Ah, they’re getting used to what adult life boils down to!

  103. Snarkotix Addict
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    FW – Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, Becky! A plague of boils should be enough.

  104. commodorejohn
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#54): Wait, what’s wrong with monster-girls?

  105. McManx
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#101): Hey! You haven’t lived until you’ve stuck your weenie in your martini.

  106. Marc
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail- Doc is bewildered by the current discussion. “Memory card? Downloading? Computer? What the shit is he talking about? Goddam it, if that boy’s gotten into my liquor cabinet again, I’ll skin him alive!”

    Mary Worth- Toby has a really hard time with the whole pretending to be concerned thing. The face she thinks is portraying empathy actually makes her look more like she just got pepper sprayed.

    Funky- “And this time take all of me! Not that half assed one arm grab you did last time.”

    Luann- I don’t know why I held out any hope that this wouldn’t be total idiocy.

    A3G- Oh boy, something boring is afoot.

    9CL- Way to go Amos. You beg your way into an orchestra you don’t play in, your buddy does you a favor and relents, and you fall asleep. Way to go jackass.

  107. Dale
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    A3G – First day on the job: Go outside and make personal phone calls.

    MT – I thought Cherry was going to download the photos while Rusty was outside feeding the horses.

  108. A Dead Chum Shrine
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#105): Just a check on the ol’ protractor for the correct angle. Okay, I shall now insert the cocktail toothpick.

    //Did you see what I did there? COCKtail!

  109. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Yes, you are totally correct. Just to show how off base I was, I was originally thinking Bass Clarinet. I guess that drawing bassoons shows how brilliant he really is.

  110. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    I found this to actually be funny for the most part. Shows you my maturity level.
    http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/08/14/mountain-dews-dub-the-dew-online-poll-goes-horribly-wrong/?hpt=hp_t3
    My favorite was “Soda.” That earned a belly laugh-it’s like something out of the “Henry” comic.

  111. Tom the Sailor Man
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#97):

    Insert Sinko-de-Mayo joke here.

  112. Andrusi
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    What are clams so unhappy about? They got legs!

  113. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-So the boys’ plan involved breaking the lightbulbs, cutting themselves with the shards, and writing a plea for help on the windows in their blood.

  114. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Luann-I have a way for you to increase sales. Three words: Twinkie Weiner Sandwich.

  115. This Guy
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#113): That, or they decided to use the light bulbs as emergency rations.

  116. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#114): Pro-tip: Do not google the phrase “twinkie weiner sandwich,” or at least, do not google-image it.

  117. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Andrusi (#112):
    Have you ever seen a Palourde Royal? Now that’s a leg, mate!
    It’s also good for a joke or three. (I told y’all my sense of humor is in the gutter most of the time).

  118. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G-I recognize that bookstore Aunt Cathy is standing in front of. They have a great selection of books. When I would go to New York to visit my grandparents my dad would take me to Books.

  119. Ian Beste
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#105): And that’s why I’ven never been invited back to alumni events…

  120. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @Unwitting Hummingbird (#116):

    There is a perverted version of it? The one I am thinking about is from the Weird Al movie “UHF”.

  121. CanuckDownSouth
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#110): sort of like “Bob” coming in second in advisory polling for the name of the post-Nunavut NW Territories remnant

  122. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#120): I never did see UHF. I was operating under the assumption that “twinkie” and “weiner” would bring up gay porn, with “sandwich” zeroing the search in on some unspeakable filth. Not that there anything wrong with unspeakably filthy gay porn — it’s just that many of us are posting from work.

  123. Droopy Says
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Evan has an Aunt Cathy? Ack!

  124. Hibbleton
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Andy Dick in drag is such a dick.

  125. Mr. Ray
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Evan’s “aunt” is clearly a hallucination. Why else would she be talking into a chalkboard eraser?

  126. Anonymous
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#28): re: Zits – Yeah, Pierce got dressed in faux native garb and casually murdered a girl. Absolutely horrible.

    (I do admit though, that I hope that the homicidally sociopathic Pierce visits 9 Chickweed Lane as soon as poosible.)

  127. Charterstoned
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    MT – I think Andy must be the brains in this outfit.

    A3G – Aunt Cathy is late for her accordian-playing performance on the Lawrence Welk Show.

  128. Perky Bird
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @DaveyK (#88): Or maybe Aunt Cathy is in one of the avant-guarde sections of the city, where a shop called “Books” actually sells pet supplies or hardware.

  129. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Evan’s sexual fixation on frosty and dismissive yuppettes starts within the family. Somehow we wound up knowing that. That’s just great.

    MT: “Let’s download them now and see what we have.” You mean besides a beach towel awkwardly covering a hole in the wall?

    MW: Ian’s dialogue is so unnatural, his manner so stiff, that eve Mary is rolling her eyes.

    C-Shaft: Crankshaft is exhorting kids to “Come to play, stay all day.” I think you could get him on a lot more than lawn sprinkler violations.”

    BC: Sort of obvious, but I still laughed.

    JP: Avery, being Avery, can’t take a whiz without trying to strike a deal. “My friends and I, we could really put this bathroom stall on the map.”

    GA: Oh Rufus, that is so deep.

    BB: So mooning a field of tanks isn’t a great combat move? I’ll try to remember that.

    H&L: Hopefully a fresh one.

    DT: Dick is strapped down and the sedative probably hasn’t worn off completely. It’s only because of these two factors that he’s not making obscene hand gestures.

    Phantom: “Oh, like you’ve never spiced up your marriage by engaging in Flintstones cosplay.”

    FC: The ice cream sandwich does its best to escape its undignified end, but its best isn’t quite good enough.

    Luann: For martini weenies you’d need to have a liquor license. Hey, there’s a germ of a good idea in there. Apply for a liquor license, and fire the idiot who’s been playing dress-up with the hotdogs.

    S-M: Holy convenient coincidence, Batman!

    Marvin: Marvin knows whereof he speaks when he makes that comparison.

  130. Anonymous
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#126): Me – “Poosible” = “Possible” if you type like Boris Badenov talks.

  131. HAnzMFG
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    I think we could have a daily “who give less of a fuck”-off between Shoe and the Lockhorns. The winner from a three-month contest series gets to be the new mascot for Cymbalta’s next TV ad.

  132. HAnzMFG
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    I think we could have a daily “who gives less of a fuck”-off between Shoe and the Lockhorns. The winner from a three-month contest series gets to be the new mascot for Cymbalta’s next TV ad.

  133. T. Chicana
    August 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Frazz: But isn’t root beer considered pop? Which only fat hillbillies drink, right, Frazz? I hate how holier-than-thou he can be!

  134. pugfuggly
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#117):

    Did somebody say….palourdre royale?!!

  135. CanuckDownSouth
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @T. Chicana (#133): except it’s probably cane-sugared artisanal premium gourmet rootbeer (which of course exists and probably costs about 5$ a bottle)

  136. T. Chicana
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Ha ha, of course, CanuckDownSouth!

  137. Jason1981
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: “Those boys are really in for it! And by ‘boys’, I mean Curtis, since neither of us have the balls to punish Barry – except for that one time a few Sundays ago”

  138. commodorejohn
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “Gee, Aunt Cathy, those spells you placed on me before the interview were a big help!” “Shut up, stupid, I’m in public! You think I want to get burned at the stake again?”

    A.D. – Accepting a bet on which you control the outcome isn’t gambling, it’s just taking advantage of a sucker.

    C&B – Cow & Boy exists in an alternate timeline where Apple never purged all the soul out of Mac OS in order to grind it down to the company-mandated featureless glossy surface. Good on Cow & Boy.

    Curtis – Ten bucks says the storyline ends with Curtis’s parents screaming at him for not letting them know through any of the channels it was explicitly established that he couldn’t, and Barry blaming him for the Holocaust.

    DT – Even sedated and injured, Tracy still has the presence of mind to mock someone for taking offense at his killing of her entire family. They don’t call him “Dick” for nothing!

    HN – This strip is win.

    JP – I like how Bea’s expression changes to the kind you’d use on a brain-damaged puppy as she comes to the realization that yes, he really is this dense.

    Lola – Ladies, feel free to kill anyone who talks like that. The park’s empty, nobody will know. You’ll be doing society a favor.

    Luann – This storyline is going to hurt.

    Mandrake – SHOOTING. SHOOTING FOR A RECORD.

    MT – Ten bucks says that this is just a storyline from 1956 with “roll of film” replaced by “memory chip.” (I notice that we never see the Trails’ alleged computer – I presume because it’s constructed of electromechanical relays and takes up an entire outbuilding on the LoFo compound.)

    Momma – Bonnie Tyler?

    OBH – Rick Detorie’s The Raven.

    Phantom – Good job at blatantly not answering the question at all, Ghost-Who-Prevaricates.

    SF – Faye’s just jealous.

    SM – Ronald McDonald? (Oh, and I guess the safety of circus attendees is less important than the safety of arts patrons? I guess that’s the east coast for you.)

  139. Dennis Jimenez
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#130): Keel mouse and square-rel….

  140. Alter Ego
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    love is… getting very personal with your TSA screener.

  141. Chyron HR
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138): Ten bucks says that this is just a storyline from 1956 with “roll of film” replaced by “memory chip.”

    Oh, I’m afraid you lost that bet. Nothing in Mark Trail could honestly be said to constitute a “storyline”.

  142. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Chyron HR (#141):

    Nothing in Mark Trail could honestly be said to constitute a “storyline”.

    Story noodle?
    Story hyperbolic plane?
    Story tesseract?

    … Maybe “story point” is best, since any given Mark Trail strip is 99% rehashed info from the previous day’s strip.

  143. kkarenb
    August 15th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#85): Several years ago I saw Julia Child’s kitchen at the Smithsonian. Along with her pots and pans and cooking stuff, she had a B. Kliban cat cartoon on the wall. What a great woman she was!

    FW – Wait a minute – in the Future Pulitzer Prize-Winning Gay Prom story, didn’t Mr. Becky’smom actually stand up to his harridan of a wife? What happened to his spine?

    MW – Foreshadowing! Remember Wilbur’s bleeding shin?

    Crankshaft – I was thinking again that the old woman is the most unpleasant person in the comics, but then I remembered Madeover Melissa. All of these old women could take a lesson from the great Julia Child.

  144. HAnzMFG
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Yes folks, this strip, Apartment 3-G, obviously takes place in 2012! Young men walk around in tweed yellow jackets and matching plaid ties, with their hair parts gouged into the side of their skulls! And they use Cell Phones! To communicate with their aged Aunts on a regular basis, who are also using Cell Phones! Golly! 2012 sure is different from 1959!

  145. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#30):

    ‘bean: More band crap. Y’know, you could foil her plans by dissolving the band. Just sayin’.

    Phase one: find a Japanese intellectual girlfriend for the rhythm guitarist…

  146. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138):

    SF – Faye’s just jealous.

    Of whom?

  147. Sequitur
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138):

    SM – Ronald McDonald? (Oh, and I guess the safety of circus attendees is less important than the safety of arts patrons? I guess that’s the east coast for you.)

    I think, and Baka Gaijin should back me up on this, that people who go somewhere to deliberately view clowns deserve what they get.

  148. AhClem
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#143):

    FW – Wait a minute – in the Future Pulitzer Prize-Winning Gay Prom story, didn’t Mr. Becky’smom actually stand up to his harridan of a wife? What happened to his spine?

    Mr. BeckysMom’s spine, and all the rest of him, was chopped into little pieces and fed to the turtles in Westview Bog shortly after the prom.

  149. KreatureFeatures
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    As a former oyster bar chef, I saw some of the unhappiest clams around. They would sit in a sink full of ice, sadly reaching from their shells with long siphons, searching for a drink of water. Occasionally I’d grab a handful, break them open, shuck their muscle from their shell with a sharp knife, and serve their still living bodies to buzzed par patrons, as a prelude to intercourse.

  150. Sequitur
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#149):

    I kissed the shells goodbye,
    And left the sweetness and the sorrow.
    Served it up to horny patrons.
    Sometimes I regret
    What I did for love, what I did for love.

  151. commodorejohn
    August 15th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#146): Alfred E. Neuman could tell you…

  152. pastordan
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#135): About $3.50, actually.

  153. Sequitur
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#135): Sam Driver gets it for free.

  154. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#144): 1959. Let’s see. The only guys wearing yellow jackets were on the road crew. Plaid ties were code for being homosexual. Guys who parted their hair were Joe College types. Everyone else had it slicked back with Brylcreem in a ducktail. Phone numbers had letters in them, such as VanDyke or Murray Hill. So yeah, except for those differences today’s A3G is a lot like 1959.

  155. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#153): Yeah, and I think Avery is pretty much used to paying. Oh, you mean for root beer. I was thinking, you know, of, well….you know.

  156. Sequitur
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#155): I imagine for what you’re thinking Sam get paid. Quite well, thank you.

  157. Girl Reporter
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#145): Becky’s mom wants to be your Yoko Ono. But legs they come and faces go, just like old toyotas. Becky’s mom will dump your ass, steal your clothes, take your car and leave you singing about the skinny legs like you always wanted.

  158. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#147): Here, here!

  159. Erich Clapton
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

  160. bitterlawstudent
    August 15th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    His suit and tie are made out of his own hair, right?

  161. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#134):
    Was it you that did this mashup after I posted the PL cooking segment from QC TV (Des Kiwis et des Hommes)? I totally need to print this out immediately.

  162. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#143):
    Wacka Wacka UNGOW Julia! Safe travels, wherever you may be.

  163. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#146):
    Yep.
    Nona would talk too much, before and after, don’t ya know.

  164. odinthor
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#149):

    Did you do all that every time you had intercourse, or only when you did it at the oyster bar?

  165. seismic-2
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    A3G: OK, I know others have mentioned this before, but I just have to ask: is “Aunt Cathy” whom we see today in fact Margo’s receptionist “Carla“? I know this is a silly question, since all A3G characters seem to be clones, but at least it would explain why Evan thinks Aunt Cathy helped him get his job.

  166. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Curtis-Curtis, if you don’t have anything better to do than killing old women the kitchen floor needs to be mopped.

    Love Is-Security has gotten really strict since people can’t wear clothes on planes anymore.

    Love Is 2-Would you like the clothed or the unclothed section?

    MT-So the poachers have got pictures that Rusty took of two horses fucking?

  167. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#166):

    So the poachers have got pictures that Rusty took of two horses fucking?

    I think those are POV close-ups of Rusty masturbating.

  168. pugfuggly
    August 15th, 2012 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#161):

    Yes indeed, and i was going to ask you if you still had that link. Bloody hilarious, it was…

  169. Flonatin of Bologna
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    DtM: I think we can assume Dennis’ soup is full of R’s.

  170. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    167, Unwitting Hummingbird: Which would mean that Rusty is hung like—

    Gah. There isn’t enough brain bleach in the world.

  171. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Joey’s soup is telling him to spill the blood of the innocent.

  172. Sequitur
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#170):Someone hung Rusty?

    ‘Bout time.

  173. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    I was a little hurt the other day by the suggestion that those of us Reverends ordained by the late Bishop Hensley might somehow be less reverend than other sorts, and were using our clerginess as a solely as a tax dodge, or something worse.

    This is not true. I was preaching to my dog, Wooster, just now, about the difference between Homoiousians and Homoousians, using an Oscar Mayer as a sort of baton and aide-memoire. He is a very intelligent puppy, as I may have mentioned before, and seemed quite rapt by my discourse. Indeed, like the Byzantines of the fourth century, he took the matter right to heart, and was all wieners in the mouth of a hungry dog about it.

    // Take that, Jonathan Edwards!

  174. tallyHO
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#165):

    hmm. This could explain the fact that he was well aware of Margo’s gallery and this mystery agency Margo just started up. But, admittedly I don’t know squat about her gallery’s prestige in this comic.
    (is she representing artists? doing PR work? it can’t be about consulting in homewrecking.)

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    as a solely as a…”

    Permission to revise and extend? Thank you!

  176. KreatureFeatures
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#164): Just when I think I’ve mastered grammar…

  177. KreatureFeatures
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    …this kind of thing happens.

  178. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#165): I think Carla’s glasses were oval shaped. Aunt Cathy is wearing the Batwoman variety. Even that distinction may have no meaning in the shapeshifting world of A3G.

  179. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#170): Based on the way Rusty’s head grows and shrinks, I suppose it isn’t unusual that other….mmmm…parts of him may grow and shrink in a similar manner.

  180. Unwitting Hummingbird
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#170): I was kind of thinking that his hand and dink were so malformed that they both resembled horses… does that help your brain?

  181. commodorejohn
    August 15th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Unwitting Hummingbird (#180): No, there’s really no way to un-think that.

  182. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Billingsley should look at Shoe’s Skyler to see how a jauntily worn cap is drawn. In fact, Skyler is way more hip than Curtis in about every way and way more street.

  183. odinthor
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    #173. NS.

    [...] the difference between Homoiousians and Homoousians [...]

    To those who say there’s not one iota of difference, I say “Yes, there is!”.

  184. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#182): Yeah, I like the word “way.”

  185. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Shoe-The clams aren’t happy because they don’t understand why people are laughing about them and what is this furry clam that people are always talking about.

  186. Snarkotix Addict
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#105): Hey! You haven’t lived until you’ve stuck your weenie in your martini.

    Shaken or stirred?

  187. tallyHO
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#179):

    I suppose it isn’t unusual that other….mmmm…parts of him may grow and shrink in a similar manner.

    If you mean his self-esteem, I’m sure the trips he makes to the fishing hole so he can cast his fishing pole give him some comfort.

  188. Zerowolf
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yes, they are ok, much to Mary’s chagrin. In a few days Mary’s dream job of having perfect strangers come to her for meddling will be over. That night an anonymous tip is left with the TSA concerning the arch terrorist team: Hamim Onri and his wife Salaami Onri

  189. Boots McTush
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#187): Nae, not his self esteem. What grows and shrinks are his adenoids. That why is face and head are normal for a while and then misshapened. It’s a curse I tell ye.

  190. Ukulele Ike
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138): “A.D. – Accepting a bet on which you control the outcome isn’t gambling, it’s just taking advantage of a sucker.”

    You say that like there’s something wrong with it.

  191. Chaze
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#187):Yeah…yeah! His self-esteem. That’s what it is, I tellya. That’s the ticket.

  192. commodorejohn
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#190): Not at all, sir. Isn’t that what suckers are for?

  193. Liam
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Now if you don’t mind I have to go into this generic brand bookstore and buy a generic type book with “BOOK” written on the side in all capitals so people will know that it is a book and not something to eat or to fuck.

  194. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I have a little leisure (pronounced in a snooty way, just because), so I have perused the comments, and here are my replies:

    @Ed Dravecky (#1): Harrison was also a comic book artist in the 50s. Respect to him.

    @Ed Dravecky (#6): Envy to you. All the DWs where I’ve lived have vanished. The first one I knew turned into a 39-cent Hamburger Stand, which was at least kind of neat, but I think that’s gone now too. (My favorite item was the DW, not mentioned in the menu, which was a sort of combination chili-cheese-something. Ghu, it’s been so long.)

    @pastordan (#25): “Dave’s not here, man!”
    Sigh. Dave used to say that.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29): love is the cover of Young Lust #1 (by Bill Griffith!).

    @kkarenb (#143): Julia Child had a Kliban cartoon on her kitchen wall! Oh, I’ll guess that it was “My cat is fat / So now I’ll dine / And eat all up / This cat of mine!”

  195. Baka Gaijin
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#188): COTW-worthy!

  196. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#193): This reminds me of my favorite quote by Leonardo Da Vinci, in the preface to his Notebooks, speaking with disdain of how there are those of whom he takes no more notice of the wind that comes out of their mouths than that which comes out of the other end, “And often, when I see one of these men take this work in his hand, I wonder that he does not put it to his nose, like a monkey, or ask me if it is something good to eat.”

  197. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    I also perused the day’s comical agglomeration, and have this to say about that:

    Oop – Alley steps out of a time machine from the 21st century and doesn’t know what rubber is? SHENANIGANS.

    sans Garfield – (la la la)
    Here’s a story
    Of a lonely loser
    Who was messing up his lonely lanky curls.
    He hung out with pets
    Instead of people—
    Don’t even mention girls.

    Judge – I’m sorry, but whenever I look at Avery’s eyes, I have the same thought: It’s The Corinthian!

    Soup – Funny coincidence. Years ago, on a visit to my cousins, we were in a drugstore called Bell’s, and the guy at the counter basically accused us of being potential shoplifters. My aunt went to bat for us, and that’s just one of the reasons she’s great.

    Spider-Man – YEAH! Clod-9 could attack and hurt people AT THE CIRCUS! MJ, you’re a frickin’ GENIUS.

  198. Peanut Gallery
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#22): (A3G) The lightning-bolt thingies work better if you imagine them with this soundtrack.

  199. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

  200. Uncle Lumpy
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#193):

    … know that it is a book and not something to eat or to fuck.

    Oops — apparently, I’ve been doing it wrong. Sorry, book.

  201. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    Between Friends: Maybe it’s different elsewhere, but at the Starbucks and other coffee shops I frequent it’s the young people getting the yoghurt granola prebiotic fibre stuff while the older people are wolfing down blueberry muffins and sugar cookies.

  202. Peanut Gallery
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#59): That show literally bored his socks off.

  203. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    For queek (and all other fans of cuteness): Here’s about a minute of high-quality sand-kitten squee!

  204. Peanut Gallery
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#78): Disney artist Don Rosa gave a fairly plausible explanation for the prevalence of aunts & uncles instead of parents: “Maybe it makes the kids possible but doesn’t limit the actions of the ‘parents’… Unca Donald can act slightly less responsible than a real father, with no mother to watch him. With the uncle/aunt deal you have all story possibilities still open with no limitations.” (I found that here.)

  205. Sgt. Stoned
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    GT: After being shot down for a second time, Steve gives up golf, regrows the beard, gets a bunch of tats from Milford Ink, and starts smoking crack. End of story arc.

    MT: Cherry is getting as ugly as Rusty.

    MW: “Are they all right? How the fuck should I know?”

  206. Boots McTush
    August 15th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#200): Aye. I remember me ma telling me, “Boots, don’t fook the book!” But would I listen? Nae. Now, whenever I see a book I wonder if it is a prose and how much it would charge. And you thought you knew what a bookworm is.

  207. Uncle Lumpy
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Boots McTush (#206):

    Oh goodness! Well, um, I just eat them …

  208. Boots McTush
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#207): Well, when your done with ‘em you can do what you want.

  209. Calico
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

  210. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#204): My theory on the nephew/niece thing in cartoons (it was cartoons because I was in an animation group at the time) is that the number of nephews/nieces reflects the amount of sexual guilt the character bears. The maximum was reached in the Disney classic, MICKEY’S BASTARDS, in which… sorry, the official title was MICKEY’S ORPHANS. But c’mon! Anyway, there were dozens, maybe hundreds of the little rats, each one the spitting image of Mickey in Minnie. Miniature. In miniature.

    After that, the champion (less surprisingly) was Popeye, who was saddled with four little shits in a number of Fleischer/Famous cartoons. Unusually for such things, Popeye was apparently able to work off his guilt in some way, and the number of horrid little clones was gradually reduced. There were three for a while, and still later, there were none. And nobody ever mentioned them again.

    I always wanted to do a snuff cartoon starring them, in which they were wiped out one by one by some public-spirited citizen.

  211. Marion Delgado
    August 15th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    I shot the sheep herd. But I did not shoot the double-Y.

  212. pugfuggly
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#209):

    …..aaaaaaaaaaaaand bookmarked.

  213. Poteet
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#42): Thanks! And yes, yesterday’s was funny. By coincidence, yesterday I saw a huge praying mantis hanging upside-down from the top beam in my outbuilding. I hope it figured out how to get back out the door.

  214. Poteet
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    8/15 FW — I’ll second that prayer.

  215. Poteet
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft — Ha ha ha. Yes, flouting water conservation ordinances and wasting water on lawns is just hilarious. Ask anyone in the official “extreme” regions of the drought.

  216. Poteet
    August 15th, 2012 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#84): Thanks for choosing my official nightmare for 8/15/12.

  217. Poteet
    August 16th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD — I try not to judge comic-strip characters by how they look, but now this new Melissa is unpleasant in both personality AND appearance. I hope we’re being prepared for her imminent death.

  218. Poteet
    August 16th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Wow. Everyone is gone. Was it something I said?

  219. Baka Gaijin
    August 16th, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#218): Nope. The party just ends rather quickly.

  220. Dale
    August 16th, 2012 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Cherry, call the sheriff. Ask him to find Mark because you may have a criminal emergency at home.

    Now Cherry is repeating the slander that the men in the picture are the sheep killers. That hasn’t been and can’t be proven. Someone has to beat a confession out of them

  221. Dale
    August 16th, 2012 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#197):

    Your aunt said you weren’t qualified to be even a potential shoplifter.
    What was wrong with you kids?

  222. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 16th, 2012 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “He calls you ‘Ghost’”?

    We would also have accepted:

    “He wanders around half-naked in your house?” or “He wears a lampshade?”*

    (* In the What-the-fuck tongue.)

  223. tallyHO
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    So Spiderman keeps his freshly laundered costumes on a hanger in the closet?

    Margo McGee runs the M & M agency. What does the agency name stand for? Who is the other M? I just hope it is Marmaduke. I think everyone would enjoy a sequence where there Margo plays Good Cop to Marmaduke’s Evil Dog.

    Hi & Lois’ antics make me laugh, laugh, laugh. The kids are standing an oil slick and they are complaining about the waves? Ow. heh. oohboy. yikes. I split my sides. Gotta go…

    A trip to doctor can wait because the humor in these comics will heal all wounds (or is it ills?)

    Beardo knows Mary Worth is lying. While his much younger wife just wants Mary to dish on Dawn.

    Pluggers must need to buy a lot of clothes in a short period of time (dog years, dontcha know). Though, sadly, I do wonder what the chicken people’s lifespans work out to be.

    Popeye, show don’t tell. Did the artist forget what a grumper is supposed to look like? Or, is he (badly) making all of this up on the fly?

    Weird thing about today’s Slylock Whatever It Is: if those creatures were muppets and we could watch them, they’d be entertaining.

    I’ve got my fingers crossed in anticipation that Slylock Fox and Maxwell T. Jaundicey are going to the Circus and will apprehend Clown-9 before Spider man puts his pants on.

  224. tallyHO
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    Oh geez!

    How could I forget to read Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft?

    Easy peasy, my skeezy!

  225. Droopy Says
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: Here’s our first clue in breaking the Comics Code: Parker says he has a plan and his wife answers with a bold-faced, italicized question mark. Thus ? stands for loud, derisive laughter.

    FU, W: Q: What sort of moron wears a big wool hat in the summer?
    A: The sort who knows that if you want to stand out from the crowd in Cancerville, you have to find a creative way to die. Frying your teeny-tiny brain might be the ticket.

    Jugs Parker: At last Peaches sees the fatal flaw in her plan to brain Avery.

    Pluggers: A Plugger just looked on something modern and didn’t react with contempt, disgust and fear? Holy cow, it’s a sign of the Apocalypse! Someone tell Holy Cow (the Plugger nun, right?) to pray for us!

    Mock Trail: And in his distant aerie, the cries of the helpless fall on the ears of Supergoat! In righteous fury he summons the Caprid Legion!

    Luann: Let’s find the real-life woman who inspired Anne Eiffel and buy her a dozen roses for whatever she did to humiliate the young Greg Evans.

  226. tallyHO
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:45 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#225):

    “ A Plugger just looked on something modern and didn’t react with contempt, disgust and fear? “

    If you notice that he is looking over his shoulder at the modern gadget and its user.

    The Plugger seems to be considering how to use this “text ting thing” to write letters to the editor complaining in his Pluggery fashion.

    Dear Editor:
    U know yr a PLGR when u see the signz the world is gonna end soon, while others just type away with their thumbs while taking dictation for you.*

    XO,
    Slouchy Dog

    *i can’t even fake the way people write texts. so am not going to try and figure out the “correct” textese.

  227. GG
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    Congratulations A3G, this is the first realistic young New Yorker for his/her age I’ve ever seen in your strip! This “Aunt Cathy” character is supposed to be a 25 year old hipster with dyed hair, right?

  228. tallyHO
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:57 am [Reply]

    What the world needs now is some Mistopher Trendy Philosomizing.

    Ah stood there with mah mouf agape, starin’ in bewondermint at the sight befo’ mah eyes.

    Mah child, Our Li’l Tater, has taken to commmunimacatin’ with us using the devil’s bones. I tried ta talk Weezy out of shoplifting that blackboard. I truly did. But, her sticky fingers ain’t met a challenge her cleavage cain’t hide. So she done took it and let our little starchyball play wif it.

    Now, when he’s started to make his marks on it, I found mahself amused.
    (huh. Youse don’t see what ah see right now but Ol’ Lukey is out trying to tightrope walk on the fence. He only starts imimatatin’ Weebel Kenkneevel when he is just drunk as a skunk. Though, a surefire way ta tell he’s that drunk is because he is wearing a skunk for a hat. How he can hold his breath while tying that vivacious varmint to his head is a wonder to behold…as long as you give him the right distance. It’s best he be way over there when donning his Crapeau, as he call’s it.

    Walp. He done fell. The show’s over. He won’t wake up fore the skunk do.)

    Now where was I? Oh yeah, Tater’s early childhood litracy.

    I am gonna tell him if he plants the chalk in the garden, he won’t need to learn ta write. He’ll jus’ know ev’rything. He’s still young enough, he’ll believe me.

    The moral bein’ this: He ain’t got no future. He’s just got a lot a years ta burn. I’ll start teachin him his still tending skills soon enuff.

  229. Dr. Weird
    August 16th, 2012 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#223):

    Margo McGee runs the M & M agency. What does the agency name stand for? Who is the other M?

    Also Margo! It’s her way of saying no one else gets top billing when she’s around. It’s Margo’s world, everyone else just lives in it, at her forbearance.

  230. Droopy Says
    August 16th, 2012 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#226): True, but the caption (“A Plugger remembers when being all thumbs was a bad thing.”) implies that the Plugger knows, in some vague way, that texting skills are a good thing. As his world crumbles around him, the Plugger will find comfort in telling the kid how he could dial a phone with one thumb. A Plugger can always find a way to be a smug bastard.

  231. Droopy Says
    August 16th, 2012 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    Sympathy for the Devil: Senator Batson D. Belfry represents voters like Shoe, the Perfesser, Loon and Roz. No wonder he drinks.

  232. Liam
    August 16th, 2012 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    A3G-I’ve told you to never call me at this number and I’m not your Aunt Cathy.

  233. anon
    August 16th, 2012 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    9CL: So I was right, earlier this week….Seth DID spot Amos in the orchestra pit.
    What’s going on? He’s not telling Edda Seth is, yes, there – so she doesn’t screw up her ‘final performance’? Well, its not going to work, Edda IS going to see Amos down there and I predict there will be a Big Dramatic Scene bringing everything to a screeching halt.

  234. anon
    August 16th, 2012 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    woops, I mean “Seth is not telling Edda AMOS is, yes, there” -

    Will Amos clamber onto the stage and sweep Edda off her feet in front of the audience? Will Edda jete right off the stage into Amos’ waiting arms?

  235. Peanut Gallery
    August 16th, 2012 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#210): I was always impressed that they named one of the nephews “Poopeye”. A spiritual cousin to Phooey Duck, perhaps? I wonder if Poopeye was the first to get the axe.

  236. Calvin\'s Cardboard Box
    August 16th, 2012 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    @anon (#233):

    I really don’t see any evidence that Seth spotted Amos. Yestarday’s strip just shows him staring into Edda’s eyes and requires a lot of extra-curricular interpretation to conclude that his look is because he saw Amos. And if Seth had seen him, wouldn’t he have overreacted, given that his life revolves around their relationship?

  237. foobar
    August 16th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Excellent use of two panels there Shoe.

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