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Revenge of Cuss Skunk

Judge Parker, 8/24/12

Last seen tormenting Curtis, Cuss Skunk returns to her rural roots to divert Sam and Avery while the marijuana growers recover Avery’s incriminating photo. @★ω*!!

The outlines of the growers’ nefarious plan are now clear: rather than murder Sam and Avery or steal the camera, they intend to prank them into submission. Watch for the criminals to put makeup on our heroes as they sleep, cut off the toes of their socks, and hoist their underwear up the flagpole. They were going to short-sheet Avery’s bed, but it doesn’t seem to be in use tonight.

Mark Trail, 8/24/12

And in today’s other criminals ‘n’ cameras story, Cherry reveals that her plan to protect Rusty from the sheep-murderers is to hope nothing bad happens. The Game Warden’s plan is to hunker down and rely on Mark Trail. They have an equal probability of success!

Family Circus, 8/24/12

Billy’s decision to join the Hasidim will not sit well back at the Keane Kompound.

Gil Thorp, 8/24/12

Oh hey, another advantage of match play is that once a player is ahead by more holes than are left to play, the match is over — and who doesn’t love less golf? Steve’s delighted that his terrible performance gives him special alone time to pitch his miserable woo to Molly Kinsella: “Hey Molly, will you go out with me now that I’m a documented loser?

Pluggers, 8/24/12

Pluggers are slobs.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/12

“Sorry, Melissa — I engaged a lady once, and it didn’t work out well. Not well at all!”

Mary Worth, 8/24/12

Gaaaaaaaah — “Tell me AGAIN?” ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? People came together to help one another, and life is brutal — is that so freaking hard to understand? Sheesh.

Four hairs. There are always and forever exactly four hairs.

– Uncle Lumpy

336 responses to “Revenge of Cuss Skunk”

  1. Uncle Lumpy
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    Congratulations on the new job, Frank!

  2. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    That’ll teach me to post before checking if a new thread has appeared. I will just point out that Cuss Skunk also just appeared in STONE SOUP and sprayed horrid little Max, unfortunately not fatally.

  3. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#2):
    Ha. That’s funny. I knew that as soon as I posted my comments on the latest strips this new thread Would be up. That’s cool. I figure there’s no reason for me to make these top heavy with my gibbish. i’ll stick to making them bottom heavy. There’s far, far funnier comments to come that deserve to be read first. Carry on. G’night.

  4. Spiff Bereft
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    MW: Judging from her bleary heavy-lidded expression, “Tell me again…” is just insomniac Mary’s way of saying, “It almost put me to sleep the last time.”

  5. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    MW — If we have to hear the story again, I want to hear the part about how the family that offered to host Wilbur and Dawn suddenly decided they all had to leave town for several days about four hours after Wilbur and Dawn moved in. “Just make yourselves at home! We all have to, um, go to a funeral! That’s right, a sudden funeral! Yes!”

  6. bbofun
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    JP- So, is this a specially trained skunk, used by drug dealers? it seems to have no problem just riding around on hippie-guy’s arm. Oh, and is he wearing a special skunk trainer’s glove? Honestly, it’d be the most awesome thing EVER if the skunk wasn’t so much going to scare the Hardy Boys as to actually steal the camera itself!

    But the way this story is going, the skunk will wander in, walk around for a few strips, and leave without even being noticed, because Sam will have discovered a rare first edition of Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” on a bookshelf (which he will keep), and Avery can’t see a thing without his glasses.

  7. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    FC — I don’t understand why the adults in FC are all so willowy and the children are all so squat.

  8. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    And the names of the four hairs are Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter.

  9. Uncle Lumpy
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#7):

    Ssh! Thel’s secret!

  10. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: “Ignore me and I’ll go away?” As weaknesses go, this isn’t exactly kryptonite.

    FU, W: Go ahead, One-Armed Blandit, push her. Or jump to your own death. Either would be equally welcome.

    sitruC: What sort of father gives his son such lame-ass advice? Curtis, when you see a boulder rolling downhill, stand in front of it, hold up one hand a shout “HALT!” in a firm voice.

    Family Circus: Yeah, Billy, like you’re really going to grow a pair.

    Mock Trail: Telling Cherry to “be careful” when two armed desperadoes might show up to kill her and Rusty is . . . actually a very clever plan.

    Mirthless, She Wrote: Keep grilling them, you old battle-axe, eventually Wilbur and Yawn will crack and tell the truth. Then you can reveal how you suspected it when you saw the bits of Little Blonde Girl still stuck to the bottom of their shoes.

    Jugs Parker: Here’s the ultimate test of Sam Driver’s incredible good luck: the skunk sprays him and he comes up smelling like a rose. And tomorrow Avery will try to convince Bea that he’s wearing the sort of manly cologne meant for manly men.

  11. Comcis Fan
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    MW: It doesn’t happen unless Mary hears about it. This includes trees falling in forests.

  12. bats :[
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#7): because they’re trolls, Poteet! TROLLS!

    We’ve never really figured out if he’s good at following directions or not.

  13. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#7): My theory is that the melonheads are actually the offspring of the Love Is creatures, who swapped them for the Keane Klan’s human children. Somewhere the real Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and PJ are running around . . . ugh, I just grossed myself out. But since Bil and Thel seem tolerant of their four changelings, maybe they got the better partt of the bargain.

  14. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    “But I couldn’t leave my father, behind.” Dawn, even in spoken English punctuation is important.

    Gotta say again, love that Clown-9. Hijinks right out of a 1950′s comic book. For third graders.

    One Big Happy is an anecdote from anyone with siblings.

  15. bbofun
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    Words of praise for Dick Tracy- I love the art, I love all the references to the past (while still moving forward), I love the little tweaks in characterization being done, I love how they’re finding ways of working within the confines of the editorial edicts they were given (specifically, the anti-Locher rule; No storyline is to last more than 4-6 weeks). And I admit a fondness for the odd time-distortion they use- the strip is set in the present, but the past (which would never be more than 25 years ago) seems to encompass all of the history of the strip, and of pop culture- Vitamin Flinthart was a sidekick in westerns, a la Gabby Hayes or Andy Devine, a job which, even on TV, would only have existed more than 50 years ago; a Spike Jones-type bandleader has a son who is no more than 25; and the flashback to Tracy’s origin, which was drawn as if in the ’30s. I like that stuff.

    And today? Well, “Arthur Curry’ was the name of the director of the Aquarium. Bravo.

    (For those who don’t know, ‘Arthur Curry” is Aquaman’s real name- at least it was, I don’t know about DC “New 52″ continuity.)

  16. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    “Pluggers are fat slobs.” FTFY Uncle Lumpy.

  17. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#7): If you survive to adulthood, they take you to the special stretching chamber.

    //On a perhaps related note, my husband indignantly points out that you can’t grow sideburns until you are capable of growing a beard. So, wtf, Billy?

  18. G.
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    I’m more interested in the fact that the Plugger’s wife in that comic appears to be a Leucistic macropod of some kind. Probably just a coloring error, but whatever, it’s headcanon now. XD

  19. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    JP: Honestly, the strip was so boring and self-congratulatory that I didn’t notice the skunk until Uncle Lumpy pointed it out. That sort of thing is more obvious when it involves Stephan Pastis.

    S-M: I’m not saying that security guard is fat, he’s just living that Star Trek episode where everything moves r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y. Well, everything except for C-9′s magic pogo stick (dot tumblr dot com).

    Two strips that flow like molasses in January. My insomnia: Cured.

  20. Dale
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:32 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – “Tell me again …” is not a question.

    Mark Trail – Panel 3 is how you help someone get seated at a table, not get out of a guest chair in an office.

    I see the problem: Nobody wants to admit they don’t know the Sheriff’s phone number. Mark doesn’t either, but he knows where the office is. About 4 hours by canoe, because it’s in the middle of a small city.

  21. Mr. O'Malley
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    JP: So is the reason they specially put them in Cabin 6 just because there are no screens on the windows? Or is this skunk thing just the start of some Rube Goldberg adventure?

    MW: Usually “tell me again” is the prelude to uncovering the weak spot in the murderer’s alibi — “But didn’t you say that the tea was served ON THE SAME TRAY as the crumpets?”

    FLM good luck. I hope you will provide us with a few selected anecdotes.

  22. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    Let’s admit it, Greg Evans has a flair for vengeance. Can you imagine anything more humiliating than to have a crowd like that shout “WEENIE!” at you? It’s a stunning display of Evans’ wit and style. Very few adults could have thought of such a clever form of revenge, much less spent months setting it up. If the real-life counterpart of Anne Eiffel knew of this, she would think . . . well, she’d shrug, wonder what was wrong with Evans, and finish balancing her checkbook.

  23. Doctor Handsome
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:03 am [Reply]

    Pluggers purchase new clothing maybe every other decade, and eat god-knows-how-many servings of sloppy, staining food-like products daily, so a more accurate figure might be, “A plugger’s clean shirt lasts an average of 0.0000016237 meals.”

  24. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:24 am [Reply]

    FC-”Oh, son. You don’t want to look like one of those pinko commie beatniks who spend all day playing their bongos now do you.”

    Love Is-Due to the nature of the strip we can’t show you her stroking something else.

    MT-They might shoot Rusty and take his head as a trophy.

    MW-Mary, you shouldn’t be enjoying that story as much as you are. You won’t anywhere near it to be involved so there is no ego stroking for you. Unless you are getting some kind of sexual thrill from it.

    MW 2-”Tell me about the rabbits, George.”

    Slylock Fox-Tomorrow they will show you how to draw a jail to put Count Weirdly in.

  25. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    No, Uncle Lumpy there are five hairs.

    Gil Thorp-Sorry, Steve, but you haven’t stalked Molly long enough to finally win her over.

  26. Spiff Bereft
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “By ‘engage the ladies’ I hope you don’t mean I have to listen to them or look at their (ulp!) chest thingies!?”

  27. Doctor Handsome
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    Ha ha, Billy’s just makin’ a funny about the sideburns! Fact is, he’s only there because the barber’s his bookie.

  28. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:37 am [Reply]

    MW-Mary’s getting some kind of sexual thrill from this story. “Now tell the story slowly and in great detail. Where’s my left hand? Oh don’t worry about that. Now back to the story.”

  29. Doctor Handsome
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:43 am [Reply]

    “I couldn’t leave my father behind! I tried and tried, but…” “Other passengers helped save me!” “Life is brutal.”

  30. Doctor Handsome
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    “We won’t have to collect ‘the rents,’ will we? That is still the word for what poor people pay us to live on our property, isn’t it? ‘The rents?’ Anyway, if we have to make a whole special trip to go be given money, just forget about it.”

  31. Chase
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    MT – I have become more accustomed to the alternate reality in Mark Trail, but I can’t quite get my mind around the game warden thanking Cherry, telling her to give his best to Rusty, and seeing her out…..while seating her in a nearby chair.

  32. Chaze not Chase
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    JP – Well, they played with us all week with veiled homoerotic subtext, so now they veer to leering hetero-aggression and slapstick. I preferred the previous romanticism.

    MW – This is a cruel, cruel joke. I expect Mary will ask them to repeat their experiences a couple more times before they realize they’re being played. Meanwhile, it’s hide the razor blades for the rest of us.

    ASM – Shoot him! I’m beggin you. Just shoot him and end this now.

    MT – Someone should tell the warden that there’s modern haircuts that will help with his male pattern balding. Those are some serious landing strips he’s sporting.

  33. John C Fremont
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    JP – “It stinks!”

  34. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    Also, Pluggers can fit “Oops” into just about any social situation.

  35. pugfuggly
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    JP I look forward to tomorrow’s strip, when we’ll see Avery and the skunk madly running off in all directions in a wild explosion of cartoonish panic, while Sam watches from his chair, drink in hand.

    GT Dating tip: if you aren’t pathetic enough to inspire sufficient pity in the opposite sex, failure is the easiest way forward! Remember, you CAN lose your way to love.

    Pluggers are kind of transparent. “Oh darn, look at that. We should go home and put some club soda on that stain right way. Darn darn darn. Well, I guess we could just eat microwave burritos and watch reruns of The Rockford files, right?”

    RMMD Rex makes a mental note to check *that* chapter of his human anatomy text to brush up on the basics.

    MW “Now tell me again…who are you, and why are you here?”

  36. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:15 am [Reply]

    I’m guessing the skunk’s scent glands have been surgically removed. But its presence in the cabin will drive Sam and Avery outside, giving the crook(s) ample opportunity to slip in and ransack the place.

    (I forget if Avery took his picture of the cannabis patch with a cell phone or an actual camera. However, my theory’s still sound!)

  37. Filthy Horson
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    DT: Arthur Curr–Good lord, they killed Aquaman!! (Wait, that came out wrong. Here: “Good! They killed Aquaman!!” Yeah, that’s the ticket!)

    Wow, they’ve really pumped Vitamin Flintheart full of sedatives today. Is it pathetic that this bugs the ***k out of me? Flintheart was a melodramatic old ham who couldn’t take a crap without gesturing flamboyantly, and would rather die than end a sentence with a common period. He would’ve bellowed, “Alas, my dear boy! While the Bard doth be my calling true, Lady Liquor was an irresistible temptress indeed, and many a skid-row saga of the sagebrush served to keep me in her warm embrace!”

    But as we all know, comic strips are smaller now.

  38. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    A belated CONGRATULATIONS! to Frank Lee, etc. With you being tied up with harranguing freelance photographers, getting a bitchin’ flattop, and fuming over the latest Spiderman screwup, I might have a chance on the COTW float. That is what newspapermen do, isn’t it?

    Like you I too am moving. Moving away from the nest of mimes that moved in down the street. First it’s mimes, then it’s circus folk, then it’s you-know-whats. I won’t be there to find out. Again.

  39. Spunde
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    MW: “I am NOT about to let my entire philosophy of life collapse around me just because you two lackwits can’t remember anyone meddling people to safety. Now, let’s review every platitude you heard from the time you first boarded.”

  40. fahrenheit451
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    MT: Really, those men could come back once they realize they don’t have the pictures? Thanks, Captain Obvious!

  41. lorne
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    Like every other boy who clearly lives in 1975, Billy has seen a picture of Burt Reynolds, and his image of manhood is formed.

  42. Dartpaw86
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    As seen from the arm of the chair, Billy’s chair is facing us. Yet Billy is facing the Barber directly making us assume he just turned his head in an exact 90 degree angle like he’s some sort of mutant owl child.

  43. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy — Okay, who killed Aquaman? Was it Black Manta? Or perhaps it was that OTHER King of the Seven Seas: Prince Namor, the Savage Sub-Mariner!

    (Longtime readers of DC’s Aquaman comic book know that his given name is “Arthur Curry”!)

  44. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    9CL – Well, we asked for it and here it is: hand sex and shadows. Yup, get ready for HAND PUPPET SEX!! I’m sure it will be nuanced and artful, but still HAND PUPPET SEX!! Whoop de damn do.

  45. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Not nice, but I can’t resist. “Sent in by Larry Hicks….from Texas.”. Can’t make up this stuff.

    JP – I suppose they could have kept the gay undertone going by having Bubba toss a dead fish into the cabin. Sam and Avery would say, “Ewwww, fish,” but I guess you can’t get everything you want. However, based on the pacing of this strip, the skunk will probably curl up on a bed and doze off.

  46. Dartpaw86
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    Wait, the bear is having dinner with the Kangaroo hinting that they’re either dating or a married couple. It’s nice that Pluggers supports inter-species relationships.

    But then again when you’re a genetically altered mutant on Plugger Island you take what you can get.

  47. Cooler King
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    FC: Look at that lovingly rendered barber chair and cape. I think we are finally seeing the true career aspirations of a young Jeff shining through here.

    Of course, once Billy grew out his sideburns and started listening to those Carpenters and their devil-music, Bil knew that his eldest son’s dotted line would lead only to damnation, and the continuation of the Keane Edict would fall into the stubby hands of little Jeffy, forcing him to turn his back on his original love, men’s hair care.

    Or it’s just a rerun of a strip from 1974. Whatever.

  48. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    JP: Pepe Le Awfuckit

    MT: This picture of Bob and Hank in their jammies is adorable!

    FC: That barber is definitely skilled in the art of “The Roffler Cut”.

    GT: I dare you to post about Gil Thorp again tomorrow, Uncle Lumpy!

    Pluggers: What’s the maximum number of meals one would eat wearing a given shirt during a single wash cycle? 2, 3 maybe? What’s the point?

    RMMD: This sounds more like a job for Travis McGee, but what the hell, Rex and June don’t have anything better to do.

    MW: One! More! Time! (Oh crap, O’Reilly’s locked himself in auxiliary control again!)

  49. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    JP – Given the way this “plot” has moved so far, the skunk will amble through the cabin unnoticed until it finally wanders back out through a hole in the floor. Noone will notice it. Avery will continue to praise Sam’s character and integrity, based on having known him for most of the afternoon and even having heard him speak a few sentences. Sam will smile and continue to guzzle wine with half-lidded eyes, not saying a word but thinking to himself. “The real deal. That is me. Genuine. A true friend. This contemptible little troll sure is a good judge of character. If I wasn’t already so drunk, I’d almost regret stealing his wallet when he asked me for that back-rub.”

  50. S.Stout
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Luann: This was a nice way to end the series, everyone screaming “Weenie!” really sums up years of stupidity. (I know it’s not ending, but just let me pretend).

    MW: “Tell me again what you did the past few weeks? Most elderly people only read the strips I’m in, and it may take a while for them all to notice and filter back in. Don’t worry everyone, Mary’s here.”

  51. ABC
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – That plugger woman/dog/rabbit thing is looking on in heavy lidded horror. How many times has she been there before, and how much longer can she take till she walks out?

  52. tb4000
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Rexy: That look Rex gives her in the last panel pretty much says, “lady, I know what my internet degree on the wall says, but I am NOT that kind of doctor.”

  53. Samuel PG
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    I’m worried about Karen Moy and Joe Giella. Do they even realize that they have basically been re-hashing the uninteresting details of the cruise ship crash for at least a week? Maybe they are ok, and were just preparing strips that told the same story in a slightly different way to keep things interesting should a “Groundhog Situation” occur. Bill Murray will certainly appreciate the slight change in his daily paper.

  54. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth-Finally someone has the sense to call Ted insane.

  55. Digger
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Maybe life wouldn’t be so brutal if these people didn’t spend so much time recapping it.

  56. Samuel PG
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Also, I appreciate that Dawn and Wilbur respond to Mary Worth as if they recognize her declining memory faculties, but are frustrated by them.

    MW: “Tell me again how you survived as the ship was sinking.”
    Dawn: *Long sigh followed by especially loud, slow speech* “SOME JUMPED AND SWAM TO SHORE, MS. WORTH, BUT I COULD NOT LEAVE MY FATHER BEHIND.”
    Wilbur: “THAT’S RIGHT, MARY. OTHER PASSENGERS HELPED SAVE ME.”
    MW: “Other passengers? I thought there was a helicopter rescue team.”

  57. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Beetle: So in the Bailey-verse Ford never issued the pardon and the draft was never repealed. Is it safe to assume we’re still in Vietnam, or are they calling it American Indo-China?

    Brewster Rockitt: Wouldn’t it have made better sense of Dirk Raider try to steal Arctic icecap — I mean, less dirt, — right?

    Phantom: Diamonds? Gold? I hope for the sake of geopolitical realism it’s columbite–tantalite, and that Phantom brings global techno-industrial civilization to a halt by blowing that shit up.

    Zippy: Okay, Dingburgers, you name-checked My Fair City so yinz guys get a pass this time. And just so’s ya know, it’s “chip-chop ham,” at least it is on my side of the Mon. I don’t know what those bohunks on the Sou’side call it, and I don’t care. Also, you don’t call someone a nebby-nose unless they’re nebbin’ their nose into your business.

    @bbofun (#15) & @Rocky Stoneaxe (#43): Daring move, killing off another publisher’s character at the start of a crossover event… but will it be canon?

  58. Hibbleton
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MT: I always thought Herb from Blondie worked in an office, downtown?

    MW: “..and scene! Listen, you guys are gonna keep repeating those lines until you get it right! Now! from the top! Sell it Dawn, baby! You were on a ship. You’re gonna die! What happened!?”

    RMMD: Melissa’s contempt for Rex is just wonderful. “Hey you, Rex! The tramps my nephew would rent to will go for an empty-headed schmoe. So don’t forget to turn on the charm, pretty boy!”

  59. thehollis
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Based on this lone Rex Morgan strip, I’m guessing the Rex is being groomed to replace Mr. Rourke on Fantasy Island?

  60. Hamlet
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    CURTIS: I always thought the mother was a caricature of Michelle Obama. I thought the first lady was going to show up and they would find out that they were long lost sisters.

  61. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#9): Ohhhh…is that that one thing? You know, the thing we’re not supposed to talk about?

  62. Christopher
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    MW: “Tell me again how you survived as the ship was sinking. It will distract me from how grotesquely swollen and distorted your face has suddenly become.”

  63. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    JP – “Bea catches your eye. The good one, I mean.”

  64. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    MT: Panel 1: Cherry is standing and the warden is sitting.
    Panel 2: Cherry and the warden are both either standing or sitting.
    Panel 3: Cherry is sitting but the warden is standing trying to get her standing and out of the office.
    Conclusion: during the entire serious conversation about Rusty in danger they’ve been alternately sitting and standing, as if an oomph-pah band was playing.

  65. The Ghost of Jarrod
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Luann: It was nice of the whole gang to recognize Greg Evans.

    JP: “Oh, hello skunk! What? You want to give us ten million dollars worth of gold bouillon? Thanks, Mr. Skunk!”

    F-: Is that Eastern or something?

    RMMD: I call shenanigans. I’ve never seen any evidence that Rex is a charming man.

  66. Little Blue Bicycle
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    @Spiff Bereft (#4): Or she’s hypnotized by the consistent low moan. I think I see those counter-clockwise spirals in her eyeballs. “Brutal…brutal…brutal…must kill…the Queen….”

  67. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MT-Because Mark is the only who can do anything around here even he is a just a magazine writer and not a trained member of the Federal government.

    MW-If only Mary was there then she could have meddled with the crew and prevented the ship from sinking.

  68. Holly Folly
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Okay, Judge Parker, tell me, is this really what men do on there fishing vacations? Do they really sit up long into the night together, one of them laying sweetly in bed under the covers talking with his companion in the warm glow of a single lantern? Is this really what happens? If so, I am going to have to start eying my husband really hard when he talks about going fishing with the guys.

  69. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    BB: President Ford granted conditional amnesty to draft dodgers in 1974 and President Carter granted full amnesty in 1977. Is this guy like the Japanese they found hidden on jungle islands 20 years after WWII that were still fighting the war?

  70. mvg
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Liam (24): “MT-They might shoot Rusty and take his head as a trophy.”

    Good lord no. Who in their right mind would want THAT head mounted on their wall, staring at them all day?

    RMMD: So… Rex & June are going to be vacationing at a brothel. Well, at least June might find a bit of what she’s been needing.

    GT/FW: Just what is it ‘Gilt Thorp’ & ‘Frankly Winkerbone’ have against the prosthesis industry? Why do their amputee characters insist on walking around with empty sleeves when prosthetics have made so many advances? Did industry reps not pony up the payola Tom Batty demanded? (“Hey, sales of ‘Lisa’s Story’ are slipping. You place a bulk order for 5,000 copies with Barnes & Noble and I guarantee placement of your F4000a model on Becky for the next six months including at least three closeups showing the logo and model number. For 10,000 copies we can talk about adding in your subsidiary’s stents in a Rose storyline on ‘Crankshaft.’ “)

    Plugs: Darn, he was hoping to wear that shirt all week. What am I saying? He’ll STILL wear it all week — he’s a Plugger.

  71. Marc
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- This may seem like the slow close or a story arc, consisting of a painfully boring rehash of the events. But it is actually the beginning of a very special Mary Worth storyline where they tackle the troubling issue of Mary’s rapidly progressing dimentia.

    Mark Trail- Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. Is there any doubt now that those old poacher fellows are going to be coming back?

    9CL- The moral of the story is that Burbur women are bigger and more important than everyone.

    A3G- Margo thinks Greg doesn’t know how to bang, but the joke is on her. Greg knows full well what how the “business works”. If she had bothered to actually look into the films on his resume, she’d have known that Mr. Cooper may be up and coming in the regular film industy, but he’s a crafty vet in the porno world.

    Curtis- This is just too friggin stupid.

    Luann- So let’s see; Gunther is trying to look down Rosa’s shirt while Brad is grabbing her ass, Crystal is dressed like a douchebaggy Peter Pan, TJ’s squint and grin are fixated on Tiffany’s rack, Delta has smug sense of self satisfaction, and Shannon the satan child is being neglected. So nothing out of the ordinary here. Goddam I hate all these people so much.

    Funky- LIsten Becky, you may not be able to regrow that missing arm, but they make products that will help you regrow your hair in that ridiculously receeded hairline of yours. Holy shit, are you a 40 year old woman or a 60 year old man?

  72. Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MT: Now let me help you with this chair so you can get the hell outta here.

  73. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Amazing Spider-Man: Clown-9 is unstoppable!

    Apt. 3-G: Am I a jerk now? Am I a jerk now? Am I a jerk now? How about now? Huh huh huh???

    9 Chickweed Lane: I’ve been thinking all week about where the audience is for this turbo-charged super-sexy ballet of staggering genius. I can’t decide: did they all go home to play with their pet skunks, or have they all quietly died in their seats? Because advanced zombism is the only logical explanation for the applause that is sure to follow the conclusion of this ballet, currently scheduled to take place just about the time humans colonize Mars.

    Cul de Sac: Boysenberry margarita! Also, Alice’s syrup-covered face. How could I ever make fun of such genius?

    Herman: It’s a Dodge Veg-o-matic!

    Hi and Lois: Who says legacy comics never change? Why, when they first made this joke in 1959, it was Lois behind the wheel…

    Mark Trail: Thank Rusty for us, and remind him to play in traffic while he waits for James K. Polk and the other poacher to come collect him.

    Popeye: Would you get to the freaking Grumpers already?

    Does anyone else think Slylock Fox‘s drawing tips are useless?

    Snuffy Smith: Stupid hillbillies. We’re not in a double-dip recession, we’re just in a very weak recovery. If I hadn’t wasted all morning trying to draw Count Weirdly, I’d explain how we’ll finally get our jobs back at the end of the second Biden administration.

    Zippy: Any mention of Pittsburgh that doesn’t include stupid hillbillies, squirrel brains, or the awesome, ongoing suckage of the Pirates isn’t worth having. </flamebait>

  74. TheDiva
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    GT: “Come on, this has got to be worth some pity sex!”

    MT: This is starting to become a boy-who-cried-wolf plot. “No really, these guys are evil and they might harm all-American boy Rusty! I know nothing came of it the first three times, but this time I mean it!”

    MW: “I realize you’ve been through a terrible ordeal, but relieve it again for my own titillation! Mary worth demands it!”

    Pluggers have the coordination of a three-year-old.

  75. Ned Ryerson
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#57): Kennywood’s open!

  76. pugfuggly
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#65):

    I call shenanigans. I’ve never seen any evidence that Rex is a charming man.

    He’s a doctor, uninterested in sex and bland as milquetoast. That’s catnip to old ladies!

    @Marc (#71):

    Mark Trail- Obvious foreshadowing is obvious. Is there any doubt now that those old poacher fellows are going to be coming back?

    What would be great is if they took a note from the Sopranos’ Pine Barrens and they just never return. Life goes on, Mark and his family keep having adventures, but there’s always a niggling feeling that at any moment the poachers could reappear and wreak a terrible revenge…..

  77. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Yahoo is stuck on yesterday again. >.<

    LaCuc goes meta to explain the lack of service.

    Luann: please tell me that this is the last Luann strip. ever.

    SBp: I've always suspected as much.

    Bizarro: I sense that Piraro likes that painting.

    DT: wait, wut?!? isn't that Aquaman's secret ID?!? (yes, yes it IS!!!)

    Ghost-who-supplies-side-saddle-booty-shots!

    F-: *thinks of Dingo*

    Retail: yes, yes it does.

  78. wanders
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: I for one am not ready to accept that this little piece of Vanity Fair plagiarism is coming to a close. Karen Moy is going to milk this for all she can. “Tell me again and again and again” is merely foreshadowing. Mark my words.

  79. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .masturbation with a hair brush.

  80. seismic-2
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    What I learned today: if on a single day Agnes, C&B, CdS, NAoQV, and S4 all score a quinto-fecta of wonderfulness, then life is good indeed, at least for the next several hours. And that’s all I have to say about that.

  81. fhunter
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Phantom- Sure Walker lets hot girl ride side saddle with him…Old man with cane…sorry you gotta walk. Ghost who picks and chooses who rides his white horse.

  82. Leonard
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Please tell me this is a Luann farewell shot…

  83. TheDiva
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    9CL: Oh for Pete’s sake, Edgar Degas and Toulouse-Lautrec put together didn’t draw this much dancing!

    A3G: Uh-oh, condescending to Margo. This is going to end with his genitals carefully preserved in a Mason jar, isn’t it?

    FW: Put a rolled-up sleeve in it, Becky, at least one of you is behaving like a band director.

    Luann: Nice picture. I’ll want a copy for my dartboard.

    Pibgorn: If you can ignore Brooke dislocating his shoulder trying to pat himself on the back in his commentary, this is actually a nice picture.

    SM: If he wants an audience, why doesn’t he just hold the newsroom hostage and keep the camera running until Spidey shows up? Oh who cares, the point is that it’s entirely Clown-9′s fault for endangering innocent citizens, and not Spidey’s for suggesting the large public venue in the first place!

  84. btown
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MW: I love Mary’s look in Panel 2. Inasmuch as such a thing is possible, she looks like Big Daddy Kane! She should have a thought bubble above her head: “Ahhh yeah, that’s the shit.”

  85. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Luann-Shortly afterwards the building blew up due to let’s say a gas leak. Tragically everyone inside was killed. Fortunately none of your favorite characters were killed because this is “Luann” and no one likes the characters.

  86. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MT-Out of gratitude for the Ranger’s help Cherry will offer herself for his sexual satisfaction.

  87. Lurker
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    If you tell me a couple more times, we can keep this going for another few weeks until Moy comes back from vacation.

  88. Mumblix Grumph
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    MT: I’m no expert on body language, but I think the Sheriff in panel Three is subconsciously saying “For the love of God, GO ALREADY!”

  89. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#76): If only this story arc would end with Rusty getting shot in the head while running off into the trees…

  90. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    JP – Um – that’s Bret Michaels and this is an episode of the The Rock of Love, Right?

    MT – Don’t follow the strip, but I’m always glad to see a pairing between Cherry and Pornstache/Mohawk….

    FC – Or, Dippity-Do spitcurls, possibly….

    GT – Please refrain from driving the UPS truck on the course….

    Pluggers – A Pluggers undies hardly ever last the whole month without a huge skidmark….

    RMMD – Man, a Phyllis Diller homage – timely and well played, Nolan and Wilson….

    MW – Mary’s eyes show the brutality – either that or she’s constipated but not giving up on pinching one into her Depends®….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  91. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    JP-Why don’t you put a horse’s head in their beds to get them to leave?

  92. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Whenever someone mentions the Rex Morgan comic I always have to go back and read it because I’m not sure if I’m remembering the actual comic or the bats :[ mashup.

  93. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    MW-Seriously I couldn’t leave him behind. He was clinging to me rather hard.

    MW 2-Mary loves stories like these just as much as she likes people talking about her.

    MW 3-That’s a wonderful story, Dawn, and you tell it so well. The only thing missing from it is me. Where was I? What was I doing at the time while you and Wilbur were busy trying hard not to die?

  94. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @mvg (#70): But in what room would you hang Rusty’s head? Not the dining room — too nauseating. Not the living room — too disconcerting. Not the bedroom — too boner-killing. Not the den — that’s where you want to relax. The door to the den? Maybe — if you want to keep your kids out…

    @Ned Ryerson (#75): Cheese n’crackers, you made me look dahn’air, furill!

    @Dennis Jimenez (#90): Since artists have to turn their work into the syndicate weeks (months?) in advance, I’d say Nolan and Wilson just became persons of interest.

    @Liam (#91): Better yet, Rusty’s head.

  95. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    3G – I have to say, Margo’s birthmark looks awful. And the way it stays behind when I scroll the picture is even worse. What were they thinking?

  96. pugfuggly
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#89):

    …and the poachers stuck in their broken down helicopter, fighting over packets of condiments.

  97. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

  98. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Weber’s showing how to draw the characters — like he plans to crowdsource the comic soon! But Mia (age 10) isn’t having any of it. She’ll keep on drawing lilliputian Maria Von Trapp being held by a giant paw in front of an outsized sunflower, thank you.

  99. Illustrator Steve
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    MT – In panel #3 Walter Pidgon helps Cherry get seated as they prepare the submarine for a dive in another 1966 episode of, ‘Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea’.

  100. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Snuffy – Somebody must have set a book of buzz words in the outhouse. Look for Snuffy to make his first Twitter joke in September.

    Bizarro – It’s nice to have your wife Magritte you at the door.

  101. wossname
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT – As a trained law enforcement officer, my advice to you is to go back to your lonely cabin and stay there with your halfwit son and your doddering father, secure in the knowledge that these seriously scary bad guys are coming to get you, until your long-lost husband comes home.

    Curtis – Show, don’t tell, dammit. I would have paid good money to see Diane whomping Obama and Romney with her broom.

    JP – Once the skunk realizes how magnificent Sam is, it’ll jump back out the window, dig up an old suitcase full of money that’s conveniently buried nearby, and bring it to him.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#Y330): Congrats! So where is Gull Lake?

  102. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MT: “Don’t worry, Warden—I’ve taken the precautions of leaving Rusty under the careless supervision of Doc while I stay as far away from the cabin as possible!”

    R&R: So, it’s funny because Red gets the burning shits when he eats spicy food?

    A3G: Does Margo carry her purse and walk around the room while seeing clients? I guess that’s one way to keep them on their toes.

    MW: I think Mary’s drugs have kicked in. “Tell me again”—Oooh, look at the pretty, wavy colors. . . . Is someone talking about a boat that sunk? Or was it a toad that stunk? Hey, Wilber’s combover is made of crawly-worms!

  103. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

  104. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Late (meaning didn’t come here last night), so, if absolutely necessary: oversnarpologies…

    MT: The criminals never came back to the Trail place — Cherry hoped not, and that’s good enough for them. Because, otherwise, there’s no MAN around the house (Doc’s old, so he doesn’t count).

    JP: Cuss Skunk will be played by Pepe LePew. If Danny DeVito and (arguably) Roseanne can do guest spots in this strip, why not? (I do think Danny has a not-wearing-glasses stunt double, though)

    FC: Billy wants to be late 1960s stylish. Actually, Billy just doesn’t want to be childish anymore. Get it? Billy…. childish…. that’s a joke, son! I say, a joke! (that went over like a drone at an al-Qaeda picnic. Lunch, that is)

    RMMD: Rex’s look says it all: “Ladies? You’ve got to be kidding…!”

    MW, re: Uncle Lumpy:
    Four hairs and some air. — Bob Ross

  105. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I would like to be the first to congratulate Frank Lee Medeire on his new job. Since that can’t happen, I’ll just be the latest. Is this going to be like The Shipping News, but with more Mary Worth?

  106. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Dennis – Quit complaining, Dennis, or we won’t give you a fork to play with.

    Hägar“Helga, I hate to see you working so hard this early in the morning…”
    “…So I’m leaving you for a younger woman.”

  107. sporknpork
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    I love the game warden’s unspoken storyline of cowardice, realizing how big a threat even Cherry being in his office is and trying to hurry her the hell out of his office for his own safety.

  108. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Henry – I do have to wonder what Henry’s hand sign for “Will you play ‘Follow the Leader’ with me?” is, and whether it’s like his sign for “Will you help me pitch a tent?” that got him in so much trouble last year.

  109. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y330): Hearty congratulations! You can think of me (and some others of us) on Monday, when I’m walking into my classrooms as you leave yours behind!

    @Holly Folly (#68): Well, they did leave out the part where they braid each other’s hair and paint their toenails.

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#73): re: CdS: For me, the panel that exemplifies Thompson’s brilliance is the third one, with Petey’s perfectly, symmetrically separated white, non-descript food (especially contrasted with Alice’s syrup-fest).

  110. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#Y330): Great news, Frank! Double plus good.

  111. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Hi – Well, there’s a clue to where they live. Which state is it that’s nicknamed “The Police State”?

    love is… …drawing a face on your vibrator.

  112. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#104):

    Billy wants to be late 1960s stylish…

    Or 1860s stylish.

  113. Illustrator Steve
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT – “Say, Warden, WHERE did you find that pretty green plant you have on the credenza countertop against the wall?”
    “Oh, THAT old thing! I found it along the river bank where I found two skeletons in UPS outfits tied to tree stumps. The plant has a nice sweet aroma and for some strange reason my deputy likes to pick buds off of it during his break, then for the rest of the afternoon he’s always so damn happy-go-lucky he laughs all the time!”

  114. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Mutt – Okay, there are worse things than golf and facebook jokes.

    Nancy – Love gives Sluggo the Hot Jets.
    In his pants.

  115. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    R=R – Another garbage moment. In fact, they’re pretty much all garbage moments in this strip.

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#330): Managing Editor of the Gull Lake Advance!
    Gull ‘em good, boy! And make sure they pay in advance.

  116. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#337): …even though the photos of weed would prove nothing whatsoever without Avery’s testimony
    Actually, the camera may well have GPS (someone else mentioned this a while back too), and all the cops need to know is that there’s pot growing at some spot to swoop in and destroy the crop. No testimony needed, and they’ll probably confiscate every building and vehicle on the place while they’re at it.

    @bbofun (#15): It’s weird as hell to think of Aquaman as having a real name. Like he was this guy who, one day, found that he related to finny creatures of the deep better than people, so he relocated to the bottom of the sea. Every now and then, he has to go up just to check his mail, then it’s back to the saturated easy chair with his wife and squids.

  117. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#20): About 4 hours by canoe, because it’s in the middle of a small city.
    Nicely done. Chuckly noises were heard.

    @Chaze (#44): It occurs to me that the mini-golf season at Parkside is kind of unpredictable, so if we want to play we should actually make some plans. Anybody else in the Rochester NY area want to join us on the links? (It’s okay to do it, it’s only bad form if you put it in your comic strip.)

  118. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#92): That sort of happens to me with Garfield and Crankshaft, except that it’s more like people will make comments on them and I’ll realize I’ve already completely forgotten the strip, so I have to go back and look at it to understand the snark.

    @wossname (#101): So where is Gull Lake?
    There’s no such place. He’s probably walking right into a trap. Hey, look! Puppy pictures!

  119. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y330):

    “HELLO EVERYONE — I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

    I will be leaving on Monday to drive to Gull Lake to take over duties as Managing Editor of the Gull Lake Advance!”

    Congratulations! Tomorrow, the GULL LAKE ADVANCE; next year, THE NEW YORK TIMES! (And Edda’s farewell performance will still be going on then, so you can whip the new staff into line by threatening to make any whiner the new dance critic and force hir to review it.)

  120. Perky Bird
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    I’m thinking the skunk will become so smitten by Sam’s good looks and honest, noble character, it will spontaneously learn to squirt precious ambergris and Faberge eggs from its anal glands. Of course, it will still cover Avery with plain old skunk stink.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere: That’s Gull Lake ,Saskatchewan? Wow.

    Prairie frontier newspaper editor! Take notes, lots of notes. There’s a movie in there.

  122. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#8):

    “And the names of the four hairs are Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter.”

    No, those are Edda and Amos’ pet names for their Naughty Bits.

  123. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#119): Say hello to Johnny Malotte for us!

  124. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#Y330): Hey, Frank! Does the Gull Lake Advance have comic strips?

    // And can we get on-line subscriptions?

  125. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    GT – You don’t hit on the underaged caddy, you try to hustle the beer wench, who not only is at least 21 years old, but also shows some cleavage and is openly flirtatious, although both are in hopes you’ll tip her a buck on a $2.75 Bud Light. Steve has a lot to learn about golf.

  126. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#89):
    Actually, it ends with Cherry getting shot in the head with Sassy in her arms while holding the door open for Mark, Rusty and Doc as they run for cover. Didn’t you know Mark Trail is based on the Ruby Ridge backstory?

  127. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Digger (#55):

    MARY WORTH:

    You remind me of a life.

    What life?

    A life that is brutal.

    Who do?

    You do.

    Do what?

    Remind of a life.

    What life?

    A life (etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. repeat as needed to fill out the strip for the next month)

  128. Hart of Johnny
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    “who doesn’t love less golf?” I think I may get this made into a T-shirt and wear it every place. Of course, I’ll probably only get one wearing out of it in true Plugger style. For some reason, people think when you hit north of 35, you automatically live to play golf.

  129. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#126):

    I thought her legal assassin shot through the closed door to take her out with a kill shot to her head while her baby was in her arms?

    He probably failed to yell loudly enough: “I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help!”

  130. casino LF
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @mvg (#70): “Good lord no. Who in their right mind would want THAT head mounted on their wall, staring at them all day?” Uh, Perseus?

    JP: I like where this is going! TAKE THAT, SMUGS.

    FW: If you are a grown ass woman who can’t stand up to your insufferable mother, I have no pity for you, sorry.

  131. casino LF
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    9cL: This is worse than the final ballet in the movie Center Stage, and that’s saying something. Is Seth going to come out in a motorcycle next and pick Edda up after dancing on it?

  132. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#83):

    “A3G: Uh-oh, condescending to Margo. This is going to end with his genitals carefully preserved in a Mason jar, isn’t it?”

    Mason jar not needed. After a few more snarky comments from Margo, the items in question will be able to fit in a contact lens container.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#127): hey, you’re supposed to throw your own head!

  134. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#85):

    Miss Horner, Elvis dwarf, psycho bully Leslie Knox, wheelchair Zane, and Toni’s feckless actor brother are apparently not in the building, so (after a few days of mourning) they will decide to band together and carry on the strip. It will be just like AFTER MASH, only worse.

  135. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#134): And it will star Dirk and be renamed “Dirk’s Dudes.”

    //Continuing joke will be Dirk’s advances on Luann’s mom (Luann’s parents aren’t in the Weenie place either).

  136. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#135):

    Maybe if Mr. DeGroot took momma to the weenie place more often, she wouldn’t be eating out at Dirk’s every weekend.

  137. bats :[
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @fahrenheit451 (#40): that’s why he gets paid the big bucks!
    In Lost Forest, the works out to about five deer carcasses a year.

    MW: I’m not sure whether this is really a good thing or not, but Dawn appears to be One of Us! One of Us!.

  138. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#134): I object to your tacit analogizing Luann to M*A*S*H. Hell, I object to your comparing to After MASH! We need to pick a show that sucked and then had a spin-off that sucked even more. I nominate Friends and Joey.

  139. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#138):

    Three’s Company -> The Ropers

    I almost made a Mrs. Roper reference earlier, it fits well with the “Momma DeGroot is horny, but can’t get any lovins at home” theme. And Luann’s Wacky Hijinks are about on the same level as those in the original series.

  140. Austria
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    FC: If you spin around in the barber shop and say “Bloody Bil” three times, Billy’s dad shows up in the mirror and cuts off your sideburns at midnight.

    FW: So Becky’s mom, despite being a band mom for something like half a million years, is completely unaware of how marching works. Is anyone surprised? More importantly, take a look at her in the second panel. I think we’ve found Becky’s other arm.

  141. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#139): Good one! Here’s another: The Ghost Busters > Filmation’s Ghostbusters

    I don’t think I’ve ever almost made a reference to either of those shows until now. And for good reason.

  142. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#138): Alice and Flo?

  143. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#138): The Jeffersons and Checking In?

  144. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#142) & @Sequitur (#142): Brady Bunch > Brady Bunch Hour

    You know, I thought this would be a challenging but fun exercise, but I’m realizing now that Sturgeon’s Law is in effect … but still, it’s fun!

  145. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Luann – Everyone she cares about? With both Quinn and Aaron Hill on the far side of the Pacific? You stone-hearted bitch.

  146. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    FC – It should be noted that this is the only recorded instance of Charlie Brown’s father appearing in a comic strip.

  147. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#144): The crap continues. Head of the Class and Billy.

  148. odinthor
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    The Prince Charles Tampon Special and Showin’ the Stuff! Starring Prince Harry.

  149. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    New PCK Entertorial is up!
    Has been for a little bit, actually.

    And now, it’s Bugs’s toin ta be carrott-catured in one a dese…. KaBOOOOM!
    Bewwwoop! (iris out)

  150. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#147): Good Morning, Miss Bliss >
    Saved by the Bell >
    Saved by the Bell: The College Years >
    Saved by the Bell: Wedding In Las Vegas >
    Showgirls >
    Saved by the Bell: The New Class

  151. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#148): LOLBARF!

  152. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#148): Is Craig Ferguson still doing his Prince Charles skits?

  153. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    I took one look at Zippy today, saw the word “Dingburg” and quickly shut it down. It also had way too much text.

    //Bill Griffith, that’s strike one.

  154. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#120): The next CC contest should be to submit the most hilariously absurd manner in which the Judge Parker/Rex Morgan developments will result in the protagonist being rewarded, both with what they’ll be rewarded and how it’ll be justified.

    A skunk pooping out Faberge Eggs for Sam would be tough to beat, but I bet someone could, with enough encouragement.

  155. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#136): Mrs. Luann’s Mom isn’t the one eating out at Dirk’s each weekend.

    While you’re contemplating that, I’ll just note that Brad is naked sometimes.

  156. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Hart of Johnny (#128): For some reason, people think when you hit north of 35, you automatically live to play golf.

    Obviously, because you’d be too old for sex.

  157. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    JP: Who is that guy holding the skunk? The Skunk Whisperer? It seems the skunk would already be riled from being handled and would have unloaded his wad on the guy outside the window.

  158. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#157): It’s probably Stinkor, seeing as a He-Man crossover is the only way for this strip to get any more homoerotic .

  159. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Hey! I like some of those shows that had crappy spin-offs!

    A3G: Male Margo meets Female Margo.

    BBlues: Yeah, you don’t want to be seared, sucker! (SwIdt?)

    9CL: That’s about the size of it, I guess.

    Luann: (in horror movie announcer voice) The day they turned against their creator….

    Glibporn: The drawing is so cool, and the commentary actually pretty darned good — AND HE RUINS IT WITH PRETENTIOUS FRENCH!
    I repeat: Diane Chambers, Brookie!!!

  160. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#154): The trout-fishing paradise is confiscated under drug forfeiture laws, and Sam snaps it up by paying $293 in back taxes assessed by the rural township. Avery, in his gratitude, pays Sam $3 million a year to lease the property and have the privilege of hiring a management company to operate it.

  161. odinthor
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#156):

    Golf replaces sex? I thought it would be quoits.

  162. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#158): Oh, got it. He’s not releasing the skunk, he’s coming through the window with his pet skunk to join the party.

  163. Mibbitmaker
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#152): Yes, but quite rarely.

  164. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    LUANN: If this sales gimmick is going to be a success, they better attract more customers than the entire student population of Pitts High (isn’t that the name of Luann’s school?) — i.e., 8 students, plus that little witch (whom I happen to like a lot). Incidentally, carefully look at the body language in this group picture, look where various people arms and hands are, or are not, and how they are standing. For instance, GOD FORBID Gunther should have his arm around the waist of that Spanish hottie that for some only God knows reason is interested in him. Maybe she likes the patterns of this shirts?

  165. Marc
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    I would also like to congratulate Frank Lee on his new job. Hopefully for us, it does not too greatly reduce his snarkotunities around here.

  166. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#138): Anything spun off from “Jersey Shore” (I’m looking at YOU, Pauly D, Snooki and JWoww!)…

  167. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Hart of Johnny (#128): Robin Williams has the best of golf I’ve ever heard — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcnFbCCgTo4 (WARNING: FULL OF PROFANITY)

  168. bats :[
    August 24th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Yikes! I’d lost interest in the LuchaLibreShangaiSurprise plot in The Phantom a few years months ago. But it seems the excitement is back!

  169. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#165): Frank could publish the COTW and float comments each week. He could do a lot worse. Hmmm. He may have to clean up some of the comments a bit but I bet Josh would let him do it. The internet and print publishing working together.

    //There’s probably some obscure Canadian law that would prevent it.

  170. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#163): Too bad. I thought those bits were usually pretty good back when my schedule allowed me to watch his show.

  171. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#168): I think you found jungle Crankshaft there.

    //Great. Now I’ll be relooking up Rex Morgan and The Phantom.

  172. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#Y342): Thanks. I can’t begin to describe the relief. And the abject terror. There’s always the terror.

    @wossname (#101):

    Congrats! So where is Gull Lake?

    That’s the next thing I have to find out. (Actually — it’s here.)

    @Baka Gaijin (#38):

    With you being tied up with harranguing freelance photographers, getting a bitchin’ flattop, and fuming over the latest Spiderman screwup, I might have a chance on the COTW float. That is what newspapermen do, isn’t it?

    Like you I too am moving. Moving away from the nest of mimes that moved in down the street. First it’s mimes, then it’s circus folk, then it’s you-know-whats. I won’t be there to find out. Again.

    First of all, congratulations on moving away from all that, but where the hell are you living? Next door to Cirque du Soleil? Or next door the Ted and Sally Forth’s place?

    And when was the last time I was on the float, huh? A year ago? Two years ago? Back in 1975 when there were hardly any commentors on this site at all?

    Side note: Um. Is anyone else getting an ad on this site of a very attractive girl whose clothes come off when you click on her? The truly odd thing (well, aside from a stripper-ad) is that it leads to a virtual reality site for tweens.

  173. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#146):

    So i wasn’t the only one to see the barber and think that?

    From what you know was Charlie Brown ever shown in the shop? Or, maybe just leaving it?

  174. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#172):
    Side note: Um. Is anyone else getting an ad on this site of a very attractive girl whose clothes come off when you click on her? The truly odd thing (well, aside from a stripper-ad) is that it leads to a virtual reality site for tweens.

    You may be referring to the ad that is specifically suited to your likes and interests. I think it checks your cookies and gives you a personal ad.

  175. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#91): JP-Why don’t you put a horse’s head in their beds to get them to leave?

    Because with Sam Driver’s insane good luck, the head would meld with Avery and produce the next Triple Crown winner.

  176. HeraldBass
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    9CL:
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?
    Are we there yet?

  177. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    JP-In no way whatsoever is what Avery saying sound stalkerish.

    FC-Okay but you are going to look weird shaved completely bald with just sideburns.

  178. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#173):

    “From what you know was Charlie Brown ever shown in the shop? Or, maybe just leaving it?”

    I don’t recall him ever in it, but I clearly recall one strip with him standing outside it. One of the other kids (maybe Shermy ?) had tried to put Charlie down by bragging about how important his dad was. Charlie took him (or her) to the front of the barber shop and said something like “Look, there’s my dad in there — he doesn’t make a lot of money, but whenever I come in he gives me a big smile and says he’s happy to see me.” The other kid admits Charlie has a point.

  179. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @mvg (#70): Who in their right mind would want THAT head mounted on their wall?

    http://www.shopobscuraantiques.com/

    Obscura has a show (“Oddities”) on one of the cable channels. They have a lot of customers who would pay an ugly penny for Rusty’s mounted head.

  180. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#173): I’m not sure – I think there was one strip where he was sitting along the wall reading comics, but I wouldn’t swear by it.

  181. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @HeraldBass (#176): *snort!* Perhaps the best summary of 9CL I’ve ever seen.

  182. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Let your freak flag fly, Billy!

  183. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#180): And then he took over the family business.

    //Charlie Brown don’t need no stinkin’ apostrophe.

  184. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#105): Hey! The Shipping News! Now that would be a great idea. It would certainly set us apart from any of the other papers in the mid-west.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#109): You’re walking into class on Monday? Don’t you have Labour Day down there? (And yes, I will think of you and praise the good fortune that is allowing me to leave it all behind. I will miss the classroom, though.)

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#110): Thanks. One annoying thing is that if I could drive through the States I could cut off several hundred miles and a full day of travel — but I can’t because I don’t have a passport — and you now need a passport to go into the United States! I never thought that day would come. I guess things are progressing nicely towards your eventual dictatorship.

    Also — no, it doesn’t have comic strips, and that’s something I already plan on talking to the publisher about. I want to do some partnering with the local school, museums and such, and maybe feature comics created by local talent. There’s also no online subscription, but one of the things the publisher wants from me is an active website, so we’ll see what transpires.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#115): I’ll visit each of the subscribers in person to collect the money. God knows what I’ll do with the rest of the day, though. (PS: “wife and squids” :) )

    @Shrug (#119): Wouldn’t that count as cruel and unusual punishment? Not that I’m against it — just sayin’.

  185. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Or, we could have a Curtis-style Barber shop owner skit:
    “Hey, look who the polluted wind just blew in! Brutus!”
    “Uh, that’s Billy”
    “Come look at the pics I got of me an’ Mitt this weekend at the local LDS cookout! We’re good buds, ya know!”
    (Shows picture of thumb obscuring unknown dude with hair wings, probably a Tony Sirico impersonator)

  186. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Brevity: Am I the only one who kind of misinterpreted this at first glance, thinking it to be some kind of under-age tree sex thing, where he can do her from behind if he draws enough rings on her? Sort of gives a new meaning to Beyonce’s, “If You Love It You Shoulda Put a Ring on It.”

    I am the only one? Crap.

  187. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#161):
    OMG someone else knows the word/game Quoits?!
    I can die happy now. Really.

  188. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#105):
    Ah, TSN! One of my favorite novels ever.
    I just hope you don’t have to eat fried baloney with canned veg at the nearest diner.
    And congratulations FLM!

  189. Perky Bird
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#186): I think the one log wants more rings drawn on him so he appears older and, therefore, able to go into the bar int he background and buy drinks.

    But your idea works, too!

  190. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#174): So you’re saying they think I’m a sex-crazed teeny-bopper? I guess I’ve been called worse things.

  191. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#190): Have you got any kids at home with access to your computer?

  192. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @mvg (#70):
    I may have posted this already, but at our down-the-street lovely deli/boucherie food shop, there is a man who wears a prosthetic arm with a hook and doesn’t try to hide it or flaunt it-he gets along just fine because he’s a normal guy thank you very much Batuik.

  193. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    JP: There’s two unwelcome visitors here. One of them has taken pictures of the huge cannabis farm out back, and is also putting the moves on what may be Bubba’s woman. What’s Bubba’s response? Let a skunk loose in their cabin. You know, Scarface said something about your own supply, and I think it may have some relevance here.

    RMMD: He’s got a button nose and he can stay in shape without working out too much. I guess that’s close enough to charm for Melissa’s purposes.

    MW: Dawn and Wilbur have yakked on and on about how a couple of passengers held onto Wilbur’s greasy corpus to keep him from falling overboard, how the Italian Coast Guard did its job, and how all of this has renewed their faith in humanity. Now Mary wants to hear it all over again. Who knew she was such a glutton for punishment?

    FW: A better question might be how Roberta managed to change the arrangements without Becky noticing. Did that arm take with it her ability to perceive her surroundings?

    9CL: Ballet companies really go all out when they fire one of their dancers, don’t they? That, and/or Brooke is vamping for time while he tries to think of a way to pretend none of this ever happened.

    Agnes: Never knew Trout was a budding Assyriologist.

    Archie: “And hey, could I borrow your shirt? It looks like it’s still got some good fumes on it.”

    BB: He doesn’t know there hasn’t been a draft for decades. He also doesn’t know the difference between a yoga mat and a bathmat. He’ll be perfect.

    DT: Somebody iced Aquaman to keep him quiet. Bad move. Now in addition to the trigger happy lantern jaw, they’ve got the whole Justice League on their back.

    6C: You can’t have a tweet bronzed, and it wouldn’t be funny if you could.

    EC: Well, given that the kids appear to be catatonic, it looks like the pressure is off to take them anywhere.

    Luann: Mercifully little dialogue, but a disturbing amount of care spent on Tiffany’s camel-toe.

    H&J: I shudder to think what the equivalent is to kicking the tires.

    OBH: Joe’s never heard of zombies?

  194. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#190): Either that or a teen-crazed sex-bopper.

  195. John B
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    One hair for each day he’s actually been happy!

  196. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#184): Yes, but Labor Day is the first Monday of September, so I have the following Monday off. (I meet my students twice and then don’t see them for a week. Works for me.) (Incidentally, I’ve entered my “3 days until school starts” crabbiness phase; this too shall pass.)

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#172): I’m just getting the bog-standard WoW ad where an Orc does some idiotic dance and then holds up a sign. Of course I’m at work, so if I saw the ad you’re seeing, no way in hell I’d click on it.

  198. Calico
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#112):
    My Great Aunt Josephine and also my Mom’s family resided on Burnside St. in Annapolis, MD – I learned from them about Gen. Burnside and the origin of the term “Sideburns.”
    The more you know …
    I still have dreams about that street.

  199. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#190):

    If you admit to bopping teenagers, you’ll *never* get a passport…

  200. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    DT: Aquaman sleeps with the fishes.

    (Pass it on.)

  201. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-It’s even funnier because Pluggers don’t wash their shirts.

  202. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#200):

    I don’t think we should know about his sexual habits.

  203. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @John B (#195): Wilbur Weston still hasn’t used up the 8 oz. bottle of Wildroot Cream-Oil Hair Tonic he bought back in 1954.

  204. Bootsy
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#105):

    Congrats, Frank Lee! The Gull Lake Advance, that’s really a thing?

  205. commodorejohn
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – “Gud-sumun gu-a-gin giri gu-ud-e-za.”

    Curtis – …that’s it? That’s…oh, I give up.

    DT – Oh dear God. Someone call the Superfriends!

    FW – Please notice Becky’s Missing Arm, which apparently still has a little stump left at the shoulder. Notice, dammit! Batiuk put so much a little effort into it just to remind you that she has a Missing Arm!

    JP – Oh hell yes. This is about to become the best Judge Parker storyline ever. Well, aside from Dixie Julep.

    Luann – Well this was pointless.

    MW – Hey Dawn, your face is melting again.

    Peanuts – Why does Lucy have tailfeathers?

    Phantom – Oh, you’re so negative all the time, Shriveled Old Cuss!

    PC – Oh my.

    RMMD – You don’t know Rex very well, do you, ma’am.

    SF – Maybe not, Faye, but you certainly seem to have gotten your outfit from the ’70s.

  206. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    “Love, American Style” (led to)
    > “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home”* (and)
    > “Happy Days” (which led to)
    > “Joanie Loves Chachi” (and)
    > “Out of the Blue” (and)
    > “Blansky’s Beauties” (and)
    > “The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang” (and)
    > “Mork and Mindy”
    > “Laverne and Shirley” (also spun off from Happy Days)

    (and they all led to)
    > “The Mork and Mindy / Laverne & Shirley / Fonz Hour”

    Plus there have been two stage musicals based on “Happy Days.”
    WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW???

    * also a bastard offspring of “All in the Family” with character designs by Playboy cartoonist Marty Murphy

  207. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @fhunter (#81): That does account for why African “get off my lawn” guy seems so grumpy.

  208. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#200):

    The Simpsons and Troy McClure.

  209. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#184): Full disclosure: I made that crack before I knew you were in driest Calgary. But if you’re looking to set yourself apart, you could, you know, run some decent comics or something?

  210. Shrug
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206):

    Well, HAPPY DAYS and LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY led to a few paydays for the first Mrs. Shrug, including a modicum of brief fame (she was one of the Pinkettes who appeared with Pinky Tuscadero on a two-part HAPPY DAYS episode of note), so I’m inclined to cut them some slack. I don’t think I ever saw most of the others on the list at all (or more than a few episodes of the two listed).

  211. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#206): Oh gawd. I didn’t think anyone else remembered “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home.” I was hoping it was all some terrible dream. I can even recall a bit of the theme song.

  212. rcw3000
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Margo: I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

    Greg: Just… ya know… you’re funny.

    Margo: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!

    Greg: I got nothing.

    !!BANG!!

    Margo: How could I miss at this range?

  213. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#210): Your slack is yours to cut or not, as you prefer. I only watched them sometimes, and that’s slack I’d take back.

    I keep thinking Lenny and Squiggy spun off into a short-lived show, but it must have just been a batch of bad corn or something.

  214. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Well, I did enjoy the original pilot for “Happy Days,” from “Love, American Style,” before they softened all the characters and before Fonzie pretty much took over the show. Not sure I want to watch it again, though.

  215. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    GT: Most. Awkward. Handshake. Evah?

  216. HAnzMFG
    August 24th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Thank God SOMETHING is coming to disrupt this terrifying scene in Judge Parker, since Avery’s “come-hither” look is almost as disconcerting as the creepy eyes and dialogue from the past week of…conversation. Cuss Skunk, now backwoods hero as well.

  217. HAnzMFG
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    In the Pibgorn reruns today, Brooke reminisces on how he uses his comics as porn, and in doing so forgets to submit them to the syndicate.

  218. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#161): Golf replaces sex? I thought it would be quoits.

    Yes, some, but you can never finish a game. Ever hear of quoitus interuptus?

  219. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    If golf ever replaces sex, I’ll call it quits.

  220. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#219): I prefer golf, as well – who needs sex!

  221. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#211):

    Wait ’til your father gets … wait ’til your father gets … wait ’til your father gets home!

    That one one of those shows I used to run across in syndication as a child, and get all excited to watch because of the animated opening credits, only to have my hopes shattered when it turned out to be a standard live-action sitcom. “I Dream of Jeannie” was in the same category for me, until I turned 13 and figured out what the real appeal of that show was….

  222. HAnzMFG
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth’s ominously smug expression is seemingly acknowledged by Wilbur’s mildly surprised face, and Wilbur understands what evil Mary is thinking as his daughter describes her new found hope for humanity: “Listen to her Wilbur. Now she believes in others, as though there was some faith to be had in the goodness of humanity to begin with. But you and I know that’s not true in the slightest. As long as I’m here and alive, my reign of meddling terror and misery shall always assure you and your daughter that LIFE… IS… BRUTAL.”

  223. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#24): “MW-Mary, you shouldn’t be enjoying that story as much as you are. Unless you are getting some kind of sexual thrill from it”

    About the closest she’ll ever get to a sexual thrill is thinking about that ship going down.

  224. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#184): There’s also no online subscription, but one of the things the publisher wants from me is an active website, so we’ll see what transpires.

    The Lake Gull Advance does have a Facebook page – once you take charge let us know here and we can get you a whole lot of “likes” to start off your reign!

    This is great! Do you see yourself being a Cary Grant kind of Front Page, take-no-prisoners style editor, or more of the laid-back, mellow, Perry “Don’t Call Me Chief” White, Superman style type? Maybe you should get a flat-top haircut, grow a Hitlerian mustache, and go for that J. Jonah Jameson ambiance. I don’t think you HAVE to smoke cigars, but it’s probably a good idea to just start yelling at everybody. First impressions, you know.

  225. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#219):

    Taking any flimsy opening for this one:

    Did a training session a few years ago in Minnesota in the middle of January. The training was held at a golf resort. In Minnesota. In the middle of winter. We were the only people at the resort, which opened specifically for us. Naturally, the greens were sheets of ice, leading to my comment.

    “Damn. Looks like the only way I’m going to be able to fit in nine holes after work is if I have three hookers come up to the room!”

  226. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#198): There’s also this guy, tho’ I don’t see the Keane’s being all that, well, keen, on Billy becoming a blues man, baby.

  227. Écureuil Écumant
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): @Little Blue Bicycle (#64): “…as if an oomph-pah band was playing.”

    I love that spelling. It invokes a mental image of the tuba player getting all hypercapnic and passing out cold mid-measure with an OOMPH!

  228. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#211): Didn’t Tom Bosley do the voice of the Father. And wasn’t he drawn as a big blue blob in a suit?

  229. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-You don’t have to worry about collecting the rent because she employs an old woman to go door to door dispensing platitudes until the person gives the woman money to leave.

  230. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#228): Wasn’t Tom Bosley also Homor Simpson’s dad too?

  231. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#225): We held a managers meeting during winter at a golf resort just outside of Syracuse. We were right on Oneida Lake and it was a really cold day. The event planner told our managers that if they watched closely, they could see the lake freeze during the day.

    As the day’s featured speaker I knew I had to be on my A game to compete with that.

  232. Ukulele Ike
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#43): Longtime readers of DC’s Aquaman comic book

    Oxymoron!

  233. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#232): But isn’t it all worth it just for the one panel where we see the actual thought balloon of a shark? “Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Hi, Aquaman. Eat. Eat…”

  234. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#221): @cheech wizard (#211):

    OK. I’m easily confused.

    I found the opening for “Wait Till Your Father Gets Home”.

    I vaguely remember the theme song but I don’t remember ever watching it.

    ”…get all excited to watch because of the animated opening credits, only to have my hopes shattered when it turned out to be a standard live-action sitcom…” Calvin’s CB Box

    Now I see this ——–>it was animated?<———–

    So, it was an animated prime time show.

    //hm. I guess I’ll make this a Wikipedia-free Friday. Minimize research. Save time.
    dangit, though I just saw something else interesting on OohTube!

    Part of the pilot for Happy Days that was shown on Love American Style Too weird for me to bother watching it now. But, it is online.

  235. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#234): Little Known Happy Days Fun Fact – Garry Marshall and the ABC politbureau redacted brother Chuck in the purges of 1968 – I believe he was neutralized with an ice “pick-axe” while he was vacationing in a brothel in Mexico City….

  236. flatsixes
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m bored to death with this story line. Halfwit Rusty takes pictures of sheep killers. Sheep killers are smart enough to find Rusty, but too dumb to look inside the camera they stole from him before driving off to, where? Argentina? And speaking of stupid, Cherry’s packing enough rocks to warrant investigation by both the National Organization of Women and PETA. The only person with half a brain in this story thus far is the title character, and that’s only because he’s smart enough to go missing.

  237. Chaze
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#234): Again, my memory is sketchy here, because the show wasn’t on long, but I do remember it being the first animated series for adults. Funny, since my mom and dad got as big a kick out of The Flintstones and Top Cat as I did.

    The artwork was….eh…sorta looked like a Hazel cartoon.

  238. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#228): beats the crap out of me. I’ve spent the past four decades trying to forget the damn thing, thank you very much. I’m going to resume that effort now, if you people don’t mind.

  239. Red Greenback
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Here’s my favorite spin-off, lovingly referred to in the Greenback household as “Putter’s Gals”.

  240. KreatureFeatures
    August 24th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one appalled by the brutal way Clown-9 decapitated the TV station’s security guard?

  241. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#221): YAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

    It burns! It burns!

  242. Red Greenback
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#239): Here is an exciting clip from the show.

  243. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#237): Actually, many Saturday-morning classics were originally broadcast at night for adults, including the Bugs Bunny Show, the Flintstones, the Jetsons, and Rocky and Bullwinkle.

    However, I did not know that about Happy Days & Love, American Style.

  244. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#240):

    Am I the only one appalled by the brutal way Clown-9 decapitated the TV station’s security guard?

    Simple answers to simple questions: Yes.

    Slightly longer answers to simple questions: We’d prefer Clown-9 decapitate himself.

  245. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#240):

    Yes because you are probably the only person who really cares about this story.

  246. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#205): Luann – Well this was pointless.

    No, no, no! That’s the brilliance of Evans and his clever revenge plot. TJ has devoted his life to crowding the diner with people who will shout “Weenie!” at Evil Ann Weevil. Tomorrow–will she break down and weep because everyone just mocked her (because why else would they all shout “Weenie!” in Weenie World?) Or will she be so shattered that she doesn’t even admit she was just shamed? Will she prepare a retaliation so cruel that only a sudden, unexpected transfer to a new location will save an innocednt character from a Fate Worse Than . . . . uh, what fate is worse than being a Greg Evans character?

  247. Droopy Says
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#240): It may have been brutal but at least it was quick. The rest of us are stuck with this conflict. (Can someone please slip “Toby Tyler” into Parker’s DVD player? Maybe he’ll be inspired to run away and join the circus.)

  248. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#232): Conundrum!

    @Dennis Jimenez (#235): Chuck Cunningham=Leon Trotsky?

  249. Anonymous
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#248): @Dennis Jimenez (#235):

    Chuck Cunningham=Leon Trotsky?

    AAAAAAaaaaaayyyyyyy!

    thok! thunk!

  250. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#237):

    Yeah. I can see the Hazel similarity. Above, someone mentions the cartoonist who designed it.

    (but, this is Wikipedia-free Friday!)

    @cheech wizard (#238):

    I only watch a minute of what i linked to above. To me, I am interested in it as a cultural artifact. I have no problem watching bad cartoons or experiencing bad art/entertainment stuff.

    But, I can see if you have watched and know the downfalls of watching it, I sympathize with ya and will take your words a warning.

  251. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    words AS a warning.

    “As” is being a scamp today. (and thank goodness he stopped hanging around that loner “S”. He made bad company.)

  252. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#249): The Fonz was a OGPU agent?

  253. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    JP-That is so sweet. Bea has caught Avery’s eye and he is hoping she catches his gonorrhea.

  254. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#172): Cirque du Soleil? [Googles Cirque du Soleil] Yeah, that’s the bunch of, of, whatever Cuss Skunk would say they are. Moved onto my happy little quiet no-clown street. Mark my words. It’s a matter of time before the recycling bins are filled with empty seltzer bottles and street is overrun with old VW Bugs filled with 28 EVILSCARYCLOWNS each.

    Right now I’m on the run. Stopping for the night without hotel reservations. Paying cash. Sneaking onto the ‘Net on whatever device I can find. Those iPads at the Apple Store. This site really sucks on them.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#196): Incidentally, I’ve entered my “3 days until school starts” crabbiness phase; this too shall pass. Pass like a kidney stone?

    @Liam (#245): Hey, hey, HAY! I care. I love seeing Clown-9 make people look like fools. For some people [cough]Spiderman[cough] it’s not much of a challenge.

    @Droopy Says (#246): “…what fate is worse than being a Greg Evans character?
    Being:
    1. Marvin’s diaper
    2. Dagwood Bumstead’s non-inflatable coccyx
    3. Mary Worth’s panties while answering Ask Wendy mail
    4. Sergeant Snorkle’s vibrating goods
    5. Curtis Wilkins’ hat rack [*]
    6. Marmaduke’s pooper scooper

    7. Cathy’s bikini top
    8. Any place setting within spittle range of Elly FOOB eating
    9. The Love Is… characters’ naugahyde couch cushions
    10. Rusty Trail’s mirror
    11. Bucky Cat’s litter box liner
    12. Nancy’s pillow [*]

    Baker’s dozen time:
    13. TJ’s toothbrushIncidentally, I’ve entered my “3 days until school starts” crabbiness phase; this too shall pass.

  255. Baka Gaijin
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    How did that end up at the end of my comment? End #13 at “toothbrush” please.

  256. Dennis Jimenez
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#252): Leon “Arnold” Trotsky = Original Owner of Arnold’s Drive-In – only appeared in one episode in a flashback sequence in the 1978 season….

  257. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#256): You mean to say that the “Milwaukee, Wisconsin” of the Happy Days was really a Soviet training facility for sleeper agents situated somewhere on the Kamchatka Peninsula? The show’s sense of idyllic phoniness suddenly makes sense![*]

  258. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#257): Lenny and Squiggy were the brains of the outfit.

  259. Peanut Gallery
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

  260. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Luann just baffles me today. I mean, there’s been a shit-ton of stupid in this strip over the last year or so, but this… I simply do. not. get it. Why would random people from the high school, some of whom are friends, but some of whom are not, plus a random teacher and the counselor, and the graduated brother of one of the characters, his girlfriend and roommate, and her kid, pose together in a fast food place on no special occasion for a group photo? It’s like Greg wanted a new banner of the main cast for his website, but was too lazy to draw one specially for it.

  261. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#257):

    And the Fonz never really fixed things by banging on them (if that were the case, he’d fix plenty of the broken beds).

    Those things like the jukebox were just shoddily made KGB-certified, Commie-approved, Proletariat-made listening devices.
    /boris badnikoff (sp?)

  262. kkarenb
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    JP – So where’s the black cat that walked under a paintbrush filled with white paint?

    Mark Trail – Upon being warned that the dangerous poachers might be back, Cherry says, “I hope not!” A normal human being would immediately gasp, “Oh, my God! Rusty is out alone looking for arrowheads! I’ve got to get back right away to make sure he’s all right!” Is Jack Elrod really a space alien who thinks he understands human behavior?

    9CL – I’m still trying to figure out why a ballerina who was fired in disgrace merits any farewell performance at all, let alone this extravaganza.

    RMMD – I’m still figuring out why loathsome Melissa is sending a doctor and a nurse to straighten out her apartment house, instead of a financial advisor.

  263. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#191): Lord, no. But I have been heavily involved with virtual worlds for a number of years, mostly for enterprise (such as using virtual board rooms for meetings, and virtual trade shows for exhibits and such).

  264. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#258): Indeed. Recall Laverne and Shirley’s gasps of surprise when Lenny and Squiggy appeared in Burbank (jumping out from behind some potted plants, as I recall)? What we thought was annoyance was, in retrospect, anxiety that their old KGB mentors had been tasked by the Politburo to keep them on assignment.

  265. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#224): We already talked some about the Facebook page. They’ve done a decent job, but the publisher was saying that she’s been a bit disappointed with the overall response. I got her to work out the demographics of her subscribers, and when she realised the average age was about 45 the light began to dawn. I still think it’s a good idea, but I think we’re going to focus more attention on a website.

    And I’m still trying to figure out what “style” I should adopt. Somehow they’ve got the idea they’re getting some hot-shot editor and I want a persona stronge enough to distract them from the truth.

  266. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Close to Home: The Toenail Fairy strikes me as a fitting counterpoint to McEldowney’s Hair Fairy.

  267. La Cieca
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#20): “Eventually you’ll slip up and change some little detail. Doesn’t matter how trivial, but you’ll slip up. They always do. Now: this autogyro, what time did you say it first arrived on the scene?”

  268. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#265): So does she think that their subscribers are too old for Facebook? From what I’ve read, the most growth in FB users has been among the middle-aged. (And friends my age seem to be active on the site much more than my younger family members are!)

  269. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#268): No, it’s a matter of usage. You’re right that older people are heavily involved, but they are nowhere near as likely to run around “liking” brands and companies. They tend to pick a few, then ignore the rest. Interaction for companies isn’t as high.

    Now interaction with family members, on the other hand…

  270. Johann Sebastian Cock
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE GOLF?!? If I had any understanding of the rules of sports, the attempt to reconcile those rules with the mystifying actions depicted in a Gil Thorpe strip could cause violent shear between the remembering and perceiving parts of my mind, and, well… if we wind up with some sort of Clown-10 situation going on, you can blame Uncle Lumpy.

  271. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#268): No kidding. I’m 42, and most of my friends on FB are in their late thirties on up into their 50s and 60s.

    That said, I don’t find FB and news sites all that great a match; they either lie quiet, which is rather useless, or they clog up your feed with story after story. Twitter’s better for notifying people that something new’s gone up, and a website can be linked.

    One thing I would suggest: either don’t allow comments, or insist that any comments be subject to a clear and strong commenting policy, enforced by a moderator who is actively paying attention to them. Too many comments sections on the news sites I frequent turn into cess pools because the site is too afraid of offending people who post racist and sexist shit in there (which, meanwhile, drives off the nicer, more thoughtful people who’d rather not be confronted with spew along with their morning coffee).

  272. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#265): Ok, Walter Burns then. Unless you can get a really good J. Jonas ‘stache going between Toronto and Moose Jaw…

    You have a fedora, right? Hip flask?

    // We’re all rootin’ for ya.

    // If the Advance ever needs a “special correspondent” in North Central Alabama, you know who to call.

  273. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 24th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#269): Whoop, meant to CC you on the above comment.

  274. commodorejohn
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#265): I would think the “slightly irascible but knowledgeable codger” persona you display here would do quite well, really.

  275. cheech wizard
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    MW – Oh, my god. After listening to Wilbur and Dawn’s endless prattling about the kindness of strangers and how lucky they are to be alive, Mary is actually struggling to keep awake in panel 2. Maybe she really is human after all.

  276. Dr. Pill
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#180): You’re right, Cheech, Charlie was in the shop watching his dad give haircuts to customers. One of his thoughts was how much he appreciated his dad giving him a smile in between each. Another was how he was anticipating his dad closing the shop and the two going home together. It wasn’t a humorous-gag strip, but a sentimental take on father-son relationships, possibly a Father’s Day theme.

  277. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#183):

    In Soviet Russia, apostrophe owned Charlie Brown.

    //I know there’s at least one master list out there somewhere that lists all of the Peanuts strips. It is probably a list which does not have concise information on what is in each strip but there must be something out there somewhere.
    Somewhere…. (whew! I almost started typing in song there. Thankfully something grabbed the Id and stamped on that idea. )

  278. Uncle Lumpy
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Johann Sebastian Cock (#270):

    WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE GOLF?!?

    SORRY! But it was Gil Thorp and it was right there in front of me and all I had to do was … (sob).

  279. Mr. O'Malley
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    On the subject of Charlie Brown: http://www.gocomics.com/bliss/2012/08/23

  280. seismic-2
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    FC: When did Dennis the Menace’s father become a barber? In any case, I think the real reason that Billy wants his sideburns left alone is that he’s spent way too many hours in the Keane Kompound with Bill and Thel holding a straight razor inches away from his throat, praying for divine guidance.

  281. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#271):

    That said, I don’t find FB and news sites all that great a match; they either lie quiet, which is rather useless, or they clog up your feed with story after story.

    Exactly. The paper is a weekly, so what I’m pushing for, and the publisher seems quite amenable to, is a website that covers the immediate news of the day. This, of course, would be free. The actual paper would focus more on features and analysis. You have to pay for that. The paper already is heavy on features — something she seemed to feel bad about, as though the only legitimate paper is one that is “hard news” oriented. But a weekly can never be hard news oriented, and should play to its strengths.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#272): Of course I have a fedora, and thanks for reminding me. I have to bring that along. Both of them — one’s black, the other’s brown. And they’re proper fedoras, too, not those narrow brim things I’ve seen being sold under a sign saying “Fedoras.”

    If the Advance ever needs a “special correspondent” in North Central Alabama, you know who to call.

    Actually, I was thinking of something from the southern part of the state.

    @commodorejohn (#274): But…does that include a cigar or not? I have to know!

  282. Peanut Gallery
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#218): I’d rather play a game with lower stakes!

  283. commodorejohn
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#281): Only when paired with a glass of port, I think.

  284. Peanut Gallery
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#275): “Tell me again! This chamomile tea still hasn’t quite kicked in yet!”

  285. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    JP: I remember reading a story or essay or something a long time ago in which hell was portrayed as a place that wasn’t especially bad — just annoying. The chairs would always be too short or too tall, every table would wobble, coffee would always be cold. That kind of thing. Anyway, I think that’s where Sam and Avery are, because they’ve got a bunk bed, but no ladder to the top.

    Also, somebody’s putting a skunk in their room, and that’s probably not pleasant.

  286. Peanut Gallery
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#278): And before you knew what was happening, it was another sordid round of loveless golf.

    Oh, “love less golf.” Never mind.

  287. Frank Lee Meidere
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    Retail: So, not giving the staff incentive is cheap and greedy, but giving them incentive is bribery. It’s nice to see this strip has its ethics so nicely laid out.

  288. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (y330): I know I’m way behind the beat on this one, but congratulations. Gull Lake, SK is getting a fine deal.

  289. commodorejohn
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#285): I doubt it’s what you’re thinking of, but that reminds me of this sketch from Mystery Science Theater 3000. “I don’t mind telling you, the day this country went self-service was the day Hell began to bubble up and flood the earth.”

  290. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

  291. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#116): Wow. Hadn’t thought of that.

  292. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#269): …they are nowhere near as likely to run around “liking” brands and companies. They tend to pick a few, then ignore the rest. Interaction for companies isn’t as high.
    Now interaction with family members, on the other hand…

    “Mom always Liked you best!”

  293. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#264): Their real names were Leonard Spinaltapski and Heirvorm Squggovich.

  294. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    CS Trying to keep them open when I sneezed while driving.
    Gosh, you’re lucky you didn’t have a stroke and die!
    Us, not so much.

    A3G What happened to Evan? Shouldn’t Evan be here? Or is he just groveling on the floor below the A3G visual barrier?

    FW At last!

    MT Mark? Mark who?

  295. Chance
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s head:Barber’s head::watermelon:coconut

  296. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#71): Mary Worth- This may seem like the slow close or a story arc, consisting of a painfully boring rehash of the events. But it is actually the beginning of a very special Mary Worth storyline where they tackle the troubling issue of Mary’s rapidly progressing dimentia.

    Think of it as “Theme and Variations”

  297. seismic-2
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Chance (#295): Billy’s head:Barber::watermelon:Gallagher

    I wish.

  298. Baleen Blue
    August 24th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Sooooo… why is Billy’s barber a brunette but his reflection blonde?

  299. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#269): That makes sense. I think my (and my friends’/family’s) usage is more personal stuff and not so much the commercial sites Even the things I tend to “like” are more small-scale and focused (a group caring for a feral dog pack in Texas, Dogs Against Romney, the SF Shibas, etc.). I follow news and all online, but that’s normally through a website–the WashPost site in particular, even though I have a print subscription, too.

  300. demoncat
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    mw dawn and wilbur keep talking about how grateful to survive that it has finaly caused mary to have a stroke as she sits there saying tell me again how some one helped you two on the boat. rm. your charms worked on june rex so you will have no trouble with the other ladies getting me the info.

  301. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @Baleen Blue (#298): Doppler shift. You see, the light has to go farther to reach the mirror and then bounce back to the camera.

    // You’re welcome.

  302. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#301): Camera? There’s no cameras in comics.

    //Just ask Rusty.

  303. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 24th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#296): Think of it as “Theme and Variations”
    The dialog in a Mary Worth post-game show would make the ideal libretto for a Philip Glass opera.

  304. Mark B.
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#291): Yup, every picture taken with a cell phone has the GPS coordinates encoded into the file. so anyone who is the least bit technical would know the exact location where the picture was taken. Or you could upload the photo to a service like Picasa, which would helpfully plot the location on a map for you.

  305. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#293):

    Leonard Spinaltapski

    A while back, a car hit him while he was crossing the street.

    (oh, damn you Wikipedia-free Friday. NOW I can’t remember the actors’s name…

    Michael Medved…McDonald…McDowell…McKean…Mickliod…Murkowsky…Manimal…
    Maguar…Muhgosh….Mcgolly… McGilla…Mickleod…McKuen…Muchoohen…McLauren….crap, why are there so many surnames that begin with the letter “M”? I can’t remember his proper name!)

    Anyway, I hope he’s doing alright. I wanna say it happened in NYC. Maybe back in the early Summer or during Springtime?

  306. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#302):

    //Just ask Rusty.

    Wasn’t that the change that William Shatner made in that Jefferson Airplane song he did back when he made a country album?

    [WHuuuuAaaa? The Truthful Answer is right HERE? How can that be...oh, right! mouseover text...]

  307. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    MW-”I’m sorry but could repeat how you were rescued I was sleeping.”

  308. Sequitur
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#305): That would be Michael McKean (and I didn’t even use Wikipedia).

    And, yes, he was struck by a vehicle back in May.

  309. Poteet
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — I don’t understand why they would use that doofus tomato treatment when a combination of white vinegar, soap, and baking soda works much better. There are also commercial products. Are they hundreds of miles into the wilderness or do they belong to some weird cult that forbids them to visit stores while camping?

  310. greghousesgf
    August 24th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#243): I worry about any adult who actually likes the Flinstones.

  311. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt.V
    @tallyHO (part4#322):

    PaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAnCaaaaaaaaakes!

    Amid the sound o’ brush bein’ beatin’ back by a beast in a hurry twert a turtle-curdlin’ yell that came a down from on high.

    Doc, Race an’ me wuz a lookin’. We wuz a pivotin’. We wuz tryin’ to spot where that yell was acomin’ from. When suddenly, the sitchy ashun removed all doubt.

    That high enuncinfyin’ for sizzled batter was a battle cry! We had ta be prepared for tha worst.

    Suddenly, a furry figure dropped from the crowns o’the trees, bring limb and leaf alike down upon the forest floor. It crashed amidst the bushes and brush, crouchin’ down like a giant ape and alookin’ and asmellin’ like one, too.

    It took a moment for mah ockulars ta adjust. Mah peepers were as stunned as Lukey after he tempts the sher’ff ta tase him. Mine eyes have seen the gorilla and I was feelin’ like muh buddy Barney looks.

    The hairy Wildman wuz crawlin on all fours. He looked at the three of us baring his fangs, growlin’ at us. He then snarled with a gravely, barely intelligible voice, what sounded like, Cherry’s got Pancakes for you, Rusty! But, I swear, it sounded more like speakin’ with a mouf fulla Peanut Butter. Peanut Butter and Fangs.

    Jus’ when we wuz about ta charge him, Doc raised his arms and his voice motioning us to halt and saying some gibberish:

    Mark Trail!?! Good God, man! Have you gone mad?!?

  312. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#271): Jeebus, I’m older than a pedantic wet blanket? Oh, my.

  313. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#308):

    I thought that might be his name but I tried to cover all possible bases in an attempt to confuse him like I confuse 60s/70s male folk singers.

  314. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#281): Just so long as you don’t have feathers to go along with those fedoras…

  315. tallyHO
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#313):

    and for the life of me, I don’t know why his name confuses me, but, I figured it was best to go with that flow. I didn’t want to type the name of the Medium is the Message guy…or let dyslexia take over on this keyboard tapping.

  316. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#310): Like many early cartoons, the Flintstones was a parody of the Honeymooners. Well, there you have it.

  317. Sgt. Stoned
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    MW: Now, Mary, why don’t you tell us again how you rescued that abducted little girl!

  318. Liam
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    MW-So wait you went on another cruise and that boat sank too? That is the only explanation for why they have to tell the story twice.

  319. KingNosmo
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    “LOOKS LIKE THAT’S THE MATCH STEVE. GOOD EFFORT.”
    “THANKS – AND GOOD LUCK NEXT ROUND.”

    Stop! Stop with all the harsh trash talk, already!

  320. Henry B.
    August 24th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oh fer Crissakes. Pinball machines tilt, not ships. Ships list. You’d think people who spend so much time at the Bum Boat would know this.

  321. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#308): Worth noting: Michael McKean played “Perry White” on the Smallville TV show, and he’s married to Annette O’Toole, the actress who played “Martha Kent” (Clark Kent’s mother) in the same series.

  322. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 24th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Sam’s bed, Uncle Lum py, Sam’s bed. Avery is very well ensconced in his.

  323. DaveyK
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Had those passengers known I don’t realize the ship was actually “listing” and not “tilting” I am sure they would have let me die.

  324. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:18 am [Reply]

  325. Mr. O'Malley
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    @Henry B. (#320): So is the Bum Boat listing or tilting as the ground beneath it erodes into Santa Royale harbor?

  326. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    I smell spam.

  327. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    FW — Ugh. Seriously. Doesn’t even approach funny.

  328. Dale
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#327):

    Can you say that three times out loud?
    But seriously, cook it or cover it with ketchup, maybe both.

  329. Uncle Lumpy
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#326):

    All gone now.

  330. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#329):

    You should know that you just gasted my flabber.

    You deleted one post and the subsequent posts are automatically renumbered and yet it still redirects things properly, like Dale’s comment to Poteet.

    I hope that the system makes it easy to do that.

  331. Uncle Lumpy
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#330):

    Comments have serial numbers, timestamps, and thread identifiers. When I squish a spam, the thread renumbers according to timestamp, but the link, which goes by serial number, still works.

    In rare cases where there’s a lot of commentary about a spam, I can squish the spam and replace it with a comment of my own — by creating a new comment, and then editing the timestamp so it falls into sequence. In that case the sequence will be right, but the link won’t work. That approach is a lot more work, and I don’t do it very often.

    The spam filter catches hundreds of spams every day, and puts about 50 more up for review — 99% of those are spams, too. I manually delete anywhere from 25 – 50 spams that get through the filters. Since they usually show up on old threads, they’re easy to identify in the administrator console’s chronological list.

    Most spams are really pathetic, and I hate ‘em.

  332. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#331):

    Gotcha.
    I never considered the old threads as being worth spamming, too. But, I guess I have found old articles with comment threads on sites and all the newest comments are spam.

    Sucks.

  333. The Central Scrutinizer
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    The skunk is so blasé from being surrounded by acres of primo skunk (and also high as balls) that he doesn’t bother to spray anyone and is mistaken for a cat. Avery makes an awkward double-entendre and then falls asleep. Nothing of interest happens for three weeks.

  334. Dennis
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    JP: So what exactly is the end game here? You stink up their room and they have to spend the whole day showering in Spaghettios instead of fishing?

  335. Lenoxus
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s barber is his own father, down a few pounds and magically disguised! Just look in the mirror, Billy!

  336. Henry B.
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#325): I prefer to think of it as “getting what it so richly deserves.”

Comments are closed for this post.