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Something fishy this way comes

Apartment 3-G, 8/25/12

Dude, loosen the grip: Margo isn’t leaving, you are. Or maybe not! Ever the professional, Margo tells Cooper, “I will gladly break a prior commitment to avoid spending any more time with you than absolutely necessary. But no need for thanks — that’s just the kind of service my clients have come to expect from me, even though it’s my first day in this business!”

Dick Tracy, 8/25/12

You know, I don’t think I’d eat at a sushi joint at the back of an aquarium, especially if it had really low prices. But of course Phishface is a cannibal, not an epicure: he dines to assimilate the strength of vanquished foes, so taste and freshness aren’t deal-breakers. This adventure can end only in the gruesome hook-related death of Phishface, or a grand feast of bland, stale toreshimaki.

Also, whales are fish. Told you so.

Beetle Bailey, 8/25/12

Oh, look — more golf crap!

The Lockhorns, 8/25/12

You know, for somebody who routinely gets rowdy drunk, monopolizes the hottest chicks, and picks fights, Leroy Lockhorn still gets invited to a lot of parties.

– Uncle Lumpy

219 responses to “Something fishy this way comes”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    Mutts — Save me a shupper, I’ll be back for breakfast:

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Mutts/2012-08-25/

  2. Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    Phishface is obviously a catfish – a bottom feeder. So, the dead fish sushi is the ideal food for him.

  3. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    DT — Phishface is a tad on the shad-y side. He also has one hell of a right hook. (Hey, if you knew sushi like I know sushi…)

  4. bats :[
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    MW: yes, let’s all have good, long, healthy laugh.
    Pleasepleaseplease pool party tomorrow! We’ll be ever so good! No running, no splashing, no wading, no swimming…

  5. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: MJ is right, Parker. You should stick to the sane supervillains.

    FU, W: That’s right, turn off the camera. This way we’ll never know what the One-Armed Blandit said to the old hag. Come Monday it will be nothing but bored, smirking speculation about how Becky silenced her mother.

    Family Circus: Through her haze of tranquilizers, Thel realizes she ought to make sure Dolly isn’t eavesdropping when she engages in her private fantasies.

    Luann: It would be really cool if Anne Eiffel tells that grinning creep “I’m on to you, mister. I know you got this job so you could wreak zany revenge on B-wad’s behalf. Well I’ve been playing you all along, mister! Now shall we discuss the very interesting results of the background check I ran on you?” Unhappily this is Luann. By now Evans has forgot about the petty revenge plot and thinks TJ is working there because he’s a real go-getter.

    Mock Trail: “In other words, Rusty is probably outside. Now why didn’t you phone right away when you found out the poachers are bad mens? For that matter, why didn’t you phone the sheriff right away and e-mail him the pictures? Screw it, we’ve goy a fish out there so big it can swallow Mothra in one bite. I’m calling Sam Parker and offering you and the fish to his buddy Avery.”

    Pluggers: Ah, the zen of Pluggerdom: can you have a midlife crisis when you have no life?

    Jugs Parker: Do skunks growl? Are we supposed to like Avery? I never want to get close enough to either to answer those questions.

    Mary Mirthless: You shouldn’t have been hung up on Dave, Yawn. Just hung.

  6. Alison
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    “Dick Tracy”: When I was little I had a book about pet peeves. They were totally random and one had nothing to do with the next. They made me laugh. Anyway, one of the pet peeves was: “Dick Tracy only picks on deformed criminals.” I think of that every single time I see this stupid strip. I especially thought about it today.

    “Luann”: An Eyeful rules. This strip should just be all about her.

  7. Ian Beste
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns Why does Leroy always get invited to parties? Easy–note that Mr. Irate Red Tie doesn’t have scratch on him while Leroy looks like he lost a fight with an industrial vacuum cleaner. He’s easy meat! A cream puff! Put Leroy on your social schedule and, just like that, you get one in the Win column. Just like how certain NCAA football “powerhouses” load up their schedules with lightweight teams to run up their position in the standings…

  8. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#7):

    agreed.
    It ain’t a party until the cops show up or something gets broken.
    Leroy’s presence guarantees the latter will happen, with no fuss and no muss to the host or to other attendees.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Partying is brutal!

    A3G: She wants to get rid of him, but she’s more than shy about actually dating him. Also, she always thought that the idea of her dating herself would be the greatest thing ever, until faced with, essentially, that.

    DT: Freaky rogues gallery or no freaky rogues gallery, this one stretched credulity to the breaking point. Too much there, guys! And I wonder why I have a craving to listen to Kip Addotta’s “Wet Dream”…?

  10. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: “The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave!”

    Though you’re no John Belushi, Leroy.

  11. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:29 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (y#331): And we very much appreciate your spam-busting efforts, sir!

  12. Dawn
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    I remember when Dave used to tell me I was acting silly … sigh.

  13. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:53 am [Reply]

    JP:

    RRRRRR! @&#%$!

    Cuss Skunk! Cuss Skunk! Sounds like a dirty cussing punk!
    Spews bad words, any size, spreads disease, attracts flies!
    Look out! Here comes the Cuss Skunk!

    Is he rank? Listen Frank, he’s got pheremonal stank!
    Can he get in the trash? Listen to that breaking glass!
    Hey there! There goes the Cuss Skunk

    In the chill of the night, with a whiff of the musk
    Like a silent fart, he’ll drop you in the dust

    Cuss Skunk, Cuss Skunk, friendly neighborhood Cuss Skunk
    Poison and bait, he ignores, carrion is his reward
    Look out, here comes the Cuss Skunk
    To him, life’s an excuse to muck up, whenever there’s a @#$%-up
    You’ll find the Cuss Skunk!

  14. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:55 am [Reply]

    FW: Righty doesn’t want it on tape when she hurls her mom from the tower. But, really, doesit matter? Is there a jury in the world who would convict her?

  15. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:59 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#14): Well . . . it would help her case if Becky drops her mom on Creepy Les. A clever lawyer could get the charges reduced to two counts of littering, if they both die.

  16. BigTed
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:01 am [Reply]

    “Joe’s Sushi” is obviously a front for an exotic fish-smuggling operation. It’s located on the loading dock of an aquarium, it’s run by a rough-hewn guy who looks like he wouldn’t know toro from Starkist, and its customers don’t even understand what a buffet is for.

  17. Mr. O'Malley
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    9CL: No one who owns a cello worth thousands of dollars is going to do that with it. Or even hundreds of dollars.

    When I read <i<DT I knew that character reminded me of someone, but it took me a while to remember who … some of the characters in Spirited Away. One of my favorite films. I would have got it faster if he had been carrying a big steaming pot of dumplings.

    JP: So now Avery is holding his flashlight under his chin. “And you know what that scraping noise turned out to be…?”

    If this is a plan to steal the camera, the biggest flaw is going to be that the camera will be left in a room occupied by an angry skunk. Although how he put it in the window in the first place is a bit mysterious.

    Luann: A one-day bump in sales. I’ll bet they’re thrilled.

    MT: Where is Rusty? He’s wanted in seven states for illegal trafficking in pre-Columbian antiquities.

    MW: I’m trying to master Mary’s technique of getting the coffee to tilt along with the cup containing it. I’ve found that it helps a lot if the coffee is frozen, but then I don’t get the plume of steam. Maybe I should add some dry ice?

    The Phantom is going to become the Ghost Who Negotiates Mineral Extraction Royalties Contracts?

  18. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:07 am [Reply]

    ASM: Maybe Clown-9 is insane, maybe not. But you know what will be insane? When they bring a lot of innocent people to the circus just so Clown-9 doesn’t back out of his “duel.” What’s also insane? Costing a circus probably hundreds of thousands of dollars and endangering innocent people so you can lure out a petty criminal whose biggest crimes seem to be assault with a deadly weapon (acid gun?) and armed (heh) robbery. There are hundreds of guys walking around every night just over the river in the Bronx or just north in Harlem who are far more violent and dangerous than Clown-9 appears to be.

  19. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#14): Also, I’m showing my age. I wrote “on tape.” Like anyone has used a video camera with actual tape in this century.

  20. Doctor Handsome
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:29 am [Reply]

    I really hope Phishface’s criminal M.O. involves him feeding bank guards ganja goo-balls and distracting them with a 45-minute version of “You Enjoy Myself.”

  21. Doctor Handsome
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    Yeah, Fuzz. Zero’s the one whose presence could only be explained by his unfamiliarity with golf. By the way, how much money are you and Halftrack wagering per hole, for fun, because you’re such good friends socially?

  22. Dale
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:51 am [Reply]

    Lost Trail

    Hadn’t Cherry and the Pits already figured out that the poachers are bad men and they might return, before she left to see the game warden?

    They still haven’t called the sheriff. Strong-arm robbery in someone’s barnyard is not an issue for the game warden.
    Any chance Doc has a WWII souvenir rifle lying around? (no ammo)

    Can you get a merit badge for digging up arrowheads or human remains these days? It wasn’t an option even back in 1960.

  23. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:08 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5): The skunk is growling like Bob Hope when Dorothy Lamour shows up in a sarong in any “Road To…” movie. Natural reaction to seeing Mr. Driver in his sexy, buttoned to the top pajamas.

    @Alison (#6): Same pet peeve, substitute “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

    @Cloudbuster (#18): Before Clown-9 finished saying, “The wall-crawler better be there,” Ticketmaster’s phone lines were jammed. As someone very smart said, “Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public.”

  24. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#20):
    Ha!
    Or perhaps “Theme from the Bottom.” LOL

  25. Santa Royale With Cheese
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5):

    Jugs Parker: Do skunks growl?

    Sure, if it serves as foil to Avery saying, “come here, Sam, my little buttercup, muah muah muah…”

  26. Doctor Handsome
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    Everyone’s always so quick to blame Leroy. Why? The host couple seems to be glaring at Loretta, and the man’s suit is unrumpled, indicating that he’s not the one who administered Leroy’s thrashing. She’s dragging him out by the arm, even though he doesn’t appear to be incapacitated or belligerent. My reading is: Loretta wanted to leave early; Leroy demurred; she fucked his ass up; and here we are.

  27. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#21):
    Or this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTpUVAcvWfU
    This probably is one of the most warped things I have ever seen …

  28. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:36 am [Reply]

    I’m predicting this little “dress casual”/”dressy casual” boo-boo will inspire the start of a Loretta and Leroy Lockhorn-level of grinding marital bitterness. That’s Arlo and Janis for those of you listening at home.

    Today’s My Cage rerun. The artwork, the character development. It’s gone yet Momma and Broomhilda and Wee Pals live on. Where is the justice in this world?

    I so love Bucky Cat’s “Ferret Alert DEVCON 1″ fright ears.

    A Plugger in midlife crisis purchases the “Lawn Molester.” That’s what’s scrawled on the side of the mower, right?

  29. Doctor Handsome
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:52 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#27): Classic. DID YOU KNOW: One of the “Barnes”es was Bill Mumy, the kid from Lost in Space and “It’s a Good Life” (the Twilight Zone where the kid sends people to The Cornfield)?

  30. Doctor Handsome
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:20 am [Reply]

    Somewhere in Hollywood, some coked-up studio jerkoff just read today’s A3G and said, “Of course! A big-budget Columbo movie, starring Keanu Reeves!”

  31. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    Clovis is gay. That’s how you come out of the closet in Hootin’ Holler.

    The second panel of Rose is Rose is a priceless example of revenge done right.

    It took three weeks of recapping but Dawn the Drip finally renounced Dave. Push the Bum Boat set on stage for tomorrow’s wrap-up strip.

    Red, I hate to tell you this, but most US-based airlines don’t give out peanuts anymore. You’ll be lucky to get a packet of crushed pretzels or tiny crackers along with the complementary hernia check from the TSA.

  32. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    MW – Great, Dawn, you’re over Dave. Now can we start working on those purple clothes?

    MT – I got a microscope like Doc’s for Christmas. Back in 1960, when I was eight. I liked looking at the stuff floating around in my own spit. I suspect Doc is doing the same thing.

    LuAnn – Expect LuAnn’s picture to make its way to WW HQ, complete with notation: TJ’s friend, TJ’s housemate, TJ’s other friend, etal….so they will know the REAL reason for the quadrupled sales. Won’t work. Ann will MOY (no, not Karen….manager of the year) for hiring TJ.

  33. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#32): “win” MOY, of course.

  34. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    FW-Dad, if you videotape what I do next it could be used as evidence in a court of law.

    A3G-Where did Margo’s hostility towards this guy come from? Is Margo the only one that is supposed be confident and sure of themselves in that world? Is that why everyone else just stumbles around with no idea what they’re doing?

    MW-Now I’m addicted to seeking out danger.

    MT-Since when did they start having whales living in the Lost Forest?

    RMMD-I feel like we are going to meet some Mary Worth type character here.

    RMMD 2-Isn’t this how pornos usually start? We have the nice doctor come to talk to the lonely women of the apartment complex. “Excuse but I would like to take your temperature.”

    Slylock Fox-In the first panel it is the lion that is cheating and in the second panel the gorilla is cheating.

    Gil Thorp-I’m sorry, Steve, but you have to keep stalking me a little longer until I’ve changed my mind and realize what a nice guy you are instead of a creep and finally go out with you.

    Archie-That’s not what those notches mean.

  35. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    MT – the poachers are wanted in seven states:

    Confusion
    Denial
    Grace
    Gaseous
    Panic
    Wyoming
    North Dakota

  36. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    Curtis – So the heat exhausted mom goes to live with her daughter. What about the multitude of hoarded cats in the apartment?

    “I gave you Romney and Obama in a slap fight and you wanna know what happened to the cats?”

    Well, yeah!

  37. Hank
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#29): The other was George Clooney’s cousin

  38. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    DT-This is funny because Phishface looks like one of those racist stereotypical depictions of Japanese men.

  39. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#36):

    Gunk has come along and given them a good home and plenty of people to eat.

  40. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#34) on Archie: Are you saying those are the number of times Archie buggered Jughead? Ew.

    @Chaze (#36): When Romney and Obama went to visit the old lady, they had another girly-man slap fight. The cats were suitably spooked and ran off.

  41. gleeb
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    H&L: Real estate is still a dead market, so Lois raises cash with these nude child shows.

    Norm: No, three days ago would have been a good time to mention how tedious this is.

  42. Señor Tortilla
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Curtis – If they cut out the strips that started with Obama ringing the doorbell and this lady coming in, it would make a lot more sense.

    H&L – Aaargh! Never show Trixie naked, ever again.

    Luann – Way to go, Ann! You stopped his grinning for once!

  43. Amykins
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    If whales are fish, then can we also re-classify lizards as really, really tiny Godzillas? Because that would be AWESOME.

  44. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#39): Been wondering if Derrick and Onion will be reincarnated and updated from their previous Kid n Play personae. They were the only true street cred in the strip, if you wanna count stealing lunch money and making “yo mamma” jokes as having street cred.

  45. Hamlet
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    So Clown 9 is bouncing around on the pogo stick inside a tv studio. At some point he has to stop, pick it up and walk through regular doors , down regular hallways, by offices, people and security out into a regular street. I wonder if he will make chit chat in the elevator as he waits for his floor?

  46. Dartpaw86
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns have social lives!? They have friends!? People actually want them in their houses!?

    I believe all these people invite them over just for an excuse to commit suicide.

  47. Holly Folly
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    I never noticed it before, but Miss Lockhorn is sporting some crazy arm muscles right there. It looks like Leroy was about to tell another tasteless joke so she just started wailing on him with her massive gorilla arms.

  48. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @Hamlet (#45): While that would be a great scene, I think he’s going to pogo right out the fire exit into the parking lot.

    @Holly Folly (#47): I propose we send Loretta to Weenie World to start wailing with her massive gorilla arms on pretty much anyone there who has a name. Will anyone second the motion?

  49. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    New PCK up!

    Special Saturday Entertorial cartoon (from 1998)

    Gee, these Seinfeld characters just can’t catch a break!

    Special Sunday PCK (two cartoons) tomorrow…

  50. Agoraphobic Turtle
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    “Zero doesn’t know you’re supposed to hit the ball from where it lies! Of course, we could tell him the rules, just for the sake of fairness. But apparently, we’re too spineless to do so, so let’s just sit back while this keeps happening. This must be what being in the armed forces is all about.”

  51. Peanut Gallery
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#Y316):

    Like many early cartoons, the Flintstones was a parody of the Honeymooners.

    Parody? Maybe I missed something. I thought it was just a blatant ripoff. I also remember one episode that was directly copied from the Laurel & Hardy film “Sons of the Desert”.

    Now the Jetsons, that was clearly a Flintstones parody. ;-)

  52. The Ridger
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    DT: Interesting choice by the color monkeys. Yellow would have been too obvious, I suppose. But what’s up with that order? “Sushi buffet, and keep it coming”? The buffet you get up and go back to, as I understand it. Does Phishface (is the spelling so we think it’s his actual surname, inherited, along with the face, from a distant ancestor?) mean “endless sushi” instead?

  53. Mibbitmaker
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    9CL: FINALLY! ….Right? …….Right?!…..

    MT: “Dad…. why did you just turn into the Chief of CONTROL?”

  54. John C Fremont
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @The Central Scrutinizer (#y333): Gee, I was just thinking about Joe’s Garage a few moments before I read the comments and saw your name. Coincidence? I think not. I like the idea of Zappa being a central part of God’s plan.

    (I was specifically thinking about the time FZ showed up on Robert Klein’s radio show. Yes, The Robert Klein Radio Hour, sponsored by GV Jeans. “When you know where you’re going, you know what to wear.”)

    @Mr. O’Malley (#17): Mary’s coffee is like the stuff from that last episode of Twin Peaks. I think Mary’s been shopping at the Black Lodge’s gift shop.

    Now Leroy Lockhorn will have to scratch Ann Eiffel and Dick Cavett’s names from his list of people willing to invite him to their parties.

  55. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    A3G-I don’t like you, for some reason, so I will push my next appointment back so I won’t have to see you next week.

  56. John C Fremont
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#54): Or maybe that’s Bob Newhart and Goth Alice Mitchell.

  57. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Weird. I wonder why I suddenly want Lucky Charms for breakfast after reading that Dick Tracy?

  58. TheDiva
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    A3G: Foisting the inconvenience off on somebody else? Would we expect anything less of Margo?

    DT: I’m not sure whether this is offensive to Asians, catfish, sushi restaurants, or humanity in general.

    Lockhorns: I wonder if people invite the Lockhorns into their home as some sort of bizarre marital counciling exercise. “Luke, Karen, I know you’re having trouble working through your differences right now, but trust me, after you meet Leroy and Loretta your problems won’t seem so insurmountable…”

  59. teenchy
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Luann, last panel: Is Ann from Bawlmer?

  60. TheDiva
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: Now it’s going to take another three weeks for Amos’ noodly arms to hoist him out of the orchestra pit.

    C’shaft: What was wrong with the “You get what you pay for” punchline? Afraid someone somewhere might have actually chuckled at it?

    FW: Well, now that’s the last straw! Now Becky has no choice but to pull her father aside, quietly confide in him that Roberta’s overstepping her bounds, and suggest that maybe he could gently drop a hint that maybe she should tone it down a little, you know, if it’s not too much trouble!

    Lio: Today, the role of Divaling One will be played by Lio.

    Luann: *sings* It’s schadenfreude, makin’ the world a better place to be!

    MT: Rusty’s going to get kidnapped if it kills him!

    MW: So the moral of the story: if you feel down and out because your boyfriend broke up with you, nearly losing your life in a maritime disaster will put things in perspective. Next up: dropping a hammer on your toes to cure headache pains.

  61. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#42): Luann – Way to go, Ann! You stopped his grinning for once!

    Next, TJ sprouts fangs!

  62. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    MT-”Some guys were over here while you were gone asking about Rusty. I told them where he’s at the Indian mounds.”

    MT 2-”And by Indian mounds I mean the Indian prostitutes right outside of the reservation.”

    JP-”Oh no. I’m not falling for this trick. The moment I turn my back you’re going to be all over me with my pants pulled down around my ankles.”

  63. wossname
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Uh, Carol? If they don’t know you, they probably know that they don’t know you.

    DT – So do hitmen/assassins/disgruntled former employees/stalking ex-spouses etc. usually fire a warning shot before killing somebody? I didn’t know that, but it does seem sporting.

    MT – Waitaminute waitaminute waitaminute. I knew the bad guys were well known in law enforcement, but what’s all this about being wanted in seven states? They’re frickin’ desperadoes! And despite that, all Mr. Wildlife Official is going to do about it is tell Cherry to be careful?

  64. anon
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: I TOLD YOU SO! I called it weeks ago – Amos is going to lurk in the orchestra pit for the purpose of interrupting the ballet and making a great big SCENE on the stage, and …. here we go! I am also predicting it will be a public proposal of marriage and Edda will accept to the applause of the audience (instead of kicking the twerp in the head right off the stage). Wouldn’t that be awesome if Seth picked him up by the belt and back of the collar, whirled him around, and flung him right into the wings?

  65. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (y#332): You should say “thank you” to Uncle Lumpy. That’s a lot of work so we don’t have to use CAPTCHA.

  66. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    BG&SS Swingers in Hootin’ Holler – who’da thunk!

    C-shaft Cranky’s trying to cover for his discovery of porn tv.

    FC Thel’s plan is working: She has Dolly perched on a stool standing on one leg struggling with an ear of corn that she has stitched closed. Clever plans pay off!

    MW I was hung up over Dave. Yes, I was so hung up over Dave. But I’m not anymore. I mean, hung up over Dave. No sirree, I am definitely no longer hung up over Dave. I hardly have any feelings for Dave anymore. Dave? Dave who! No, Dave is just a memory. Not. Hung. Up. Over. Dave. Dave. Dave.

  67. Shrug
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Amykins (#43):

    “If whales are fish, then can we also re-classify lizards as really, really tiny Godzillas? Because that would be AWESOME.”

    Sorry, lizards are just big insects.

  68. Shrug
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#52):

    “DT: Interesting choice by the color monkeys. Yellow would have been too obvious, I suppose. But what’s up with that order? “Sushi buffet, and keep it coming”? The buffet you get up and go back to, as I understand it.”

    I once went to a “pizza buffet” at a place I’d never heard of in which the “buffet” part involved you asking the attendent for another piece, one at a time.
    I think there was also only two (maybe three) varieties of pizza available.

    No, I never went back there (and as far as I know they quickly went out of business). How did you guess?

    On another DT note, I recall enjoying the short-lived prime time TV animated series FISH POLICE, and am glad to see crime boss Calimari is finally getting some new gigs.

  69. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MT “They are trophy hunters!”
    “Well, okay, then Rusty will be safe – he’s certainly no trophy! That kid is dumb as dirt and twice as ugly!”

  70. Shrug
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#68):

    “I think there was also only two…”

    Were also. Were also. Were also.

    Not enough coffee yet this morning.

    I’ll try to not let it happen again. Please do not harm my wife or cats.

  71. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#4): No running, no splashing, no wading, no swimming…

    … no sinking, no drowning…

  72. Tom T.
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    “Leroy Lockhorn still gets invited to a lot of parties.”

    I assume he has the best weed.

  73. Optimus Prime Rib
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Is Phishface is going to commit a crime? Where’s a carp when you need him?

  74. Shrug
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    My nominee for funniest/most useful line in the comics today: POOCH CAFE, for

    “I’m a lousy Tree of Shame.”

  75. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: If Margo were as high-powered an executive as she seems to think she is, she’d have a hidden security button with which to summon help, such as…Evan. Never mind. Give him an extra half-hour and your Glock, Margo.

    Snuffy Smith: I’ve, um, done weddings like that. Frank?

    Bringing Up Father: I admit it. I laughed.

    9 Chickweed Lane: I don’t know whether to celebrate the end of this stupid storyline or dread the inevitable oncoming hand sex.

    Cul de Sac: Like Arlo and Janis, Cul de Sac lives in our world. I can totally imagine my kid doing that when he was four.

    Judge Parker: Look! There in the corner! It’s the torn-off hook of the psycho killer on the car door!

    Luann: Oh hey look, I have a couple of extra wieners here. What say we make a suicide pact and eat them? No? Well, I guess this isn’t Funky Winkerbean, after all.

    Mark Trail: If fish could talk, Elrod, they’d drop a dime on that Rusty kid faster than you can say “fly reel.”

    Mary Worth: I feel silly I was hung up over Dave! Wait…Dave…hung…Dave was hung. Sob!

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: It doesn’t really matter why the apartment complex is losing money; I’m going to let Junior off the hook because I’m a crazy, erratic geriatric alcoholic. But I’m curious. So you go check that out, Mr. Medical Professional.

    Sinfest: Boogie down!

  76. pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Optimus Prime Rib (#73): He’s going to get sushi and not pay for it!

  77. yaoi huntress earth
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    9CWL: Why does a really mean side of me hope that Amos resorts to violence at them or kills himself? Or because I want to see the steam come out of Batiuk’s ears when he finds out that Brooke beat him to a “serious subject” he could’ve been exploiting.

  78. Écureuil Écumant
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    JP: Growling? That’s no skunk. It’s a honey badger.

  79. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#14): FW: Righty doesn’t want it on tape when she hurls her mom from the tower. But, really, doesit matter? Is there a jury in the world who would convict her?

    She has a football field full of witnesses. The band cheers and plays the theme from Rocky.

  80. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    DT – Can’t quite determine upon whom Phishface is modeled. My choices:

    Warner Oland
    Sydney Toller
    Peter Lorre
    Old Hardy
    Oscar from Buckles
    The trout saying “hi” in today’s Mark Trail

  81. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#75): PastorDan, you KNOW the hand sex is both inevitable and is VERY much to be dreaded, because it will drag on for days.

  82. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#75): …she’d have a hidden security button with which to summon help, such as…Evan.

    Hey, there’s Margo’s secretary (Carla?). Leave him with her for 1/2 hour – that woman’s a man-eater!

  83. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#78): The skunk is Pepe LePew, who will chase Sam around the cabin, attempting to kiss him. This will upset Avery to no end and he will run away and forget about Bea and the pot fields.

    Or thus how the plot plays out at Warner Brothers.

    Next, expect Bugs Bunny to show up at Rex Morgan’s office. “Ehhhh, what’s up, Doc.”

  84. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    RMMD: At the risk of bringing too much realism into this, here’s what you do for a remote rental property: you look up a reputable building inspector in the area of your property, having him inspect the property and prepare a report. If the property is physically worth having, you hire a local property management company to, for a percentage, deal with the delinquent tenants, any physical issues, obtain new tenants, etc. Done.

    Sending your doctor who has, as far as we know, absolutely no expertise in building inspection and property management to inspect the property and “engage” the tenants? Worthless.

  85. Obi Wan Cannoli
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy–Sushi? The way he is drawn, I would have sworn that the usual would be a Krabby Patty.

  86. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#4): BWAHAHA!

  87. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#84): Thank you for the sanity. As a royal pain in the rear, New Melissa is convincing. As a uber-rich person, not so much.

  88. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#87): ….”AN uber-rich person.” Had trouble with keyboard, argh.

  89. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    MT: “Where is Rusty?”
    “Uhhh, kidnapped, I think.”
    “Mm-kay then. Want some pancakes?”

    MW: And . . . scene!

  90. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88): Rules of grammar are for little people, my friend.

  91. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    9CL — And once again it’s McEldowney and Batiuk battling for Top Stupid! Today’s 9CL is very promising, but it will have a tough time beating the Brainless Becky Band Adventures in FW.

  92. This Guy
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Something strange happened. I laughed without irony at Luann. Of course, since I was clearly meant to be hissing and throwing rotten fruit at my monitor, this can’t really go in the win column for Evans.

  93. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

  94. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    DT – “I’m not fishy, I’m just drawn that way.”

    By the way, should we be looking forward to Davematthewsface?

  95. This Guy
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Mutts: I remember seeing a TV special about crazy deep-fried things with a guy at the Texas State Fair who would accept challenges from fairgoers to deep-fry unusual things. This isn’t really a joke.

    SMBC: I think the exchange of the virtual hermaphroditon is a step that requires further investigation.

  96. Anonymous
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#29):
    Oh, yes, I knew it was Billy. : ) Good to be reminded of certain things as my memory goes, though!
    I wonder how in the world they came up with this concept-I like weird stuff, but this is beyong weird.
    (I never liked LIS because of the Doctor – he annoyed me to the 19th power.)

  97. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#96):
    T’was me – silly cookies!

  98. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#79):
    I’ve posted this before, but thought it might be appropriate:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJKythlXAIY
    This too shall pass! Trip or kick her, Becky. You’ve still got two feet.

  99. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#90): That makes sense: I’m kind of a little person, and I love grammar rules!

  100. The Ridger
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#99): A vs an isn’t grammar, though; it’s phonological. ;-)

  101. Nonironic Luannfan
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    I’m frustrated that TJ didn’t get it in writing. He should have suspected treachery. Ann Eiffel knew that the bikini wienies were going to be a big success! And now she won’t share the credit. I have never liked her.

  102. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Mornin’, Uncle Lumpy.

    Danke Shoen. Merci. Gracias. Thanks.

    You put up with the otherwise thankless tasks of maintaining so much.
    No matter if the software system makes it easier or not, it is still time and effort
    you put into making this a more hospitable place for civil, civilized folks from all over to pass some time.

    Now, don’t think I’m brown nosing or anything. I’m just extending a big thanks and a big ups to ya! And, I am certain that even if everyone is not aware of the extra time being an administrator on a site like this can be, and the frustrations which can come with it, I am certain everyone else thanks you to. They may not say it often enough. But, I’m sure that just like Pastor Dan mentions above, you are doing a lot of work behind the scenes. And, I presume Josh does somethings behind the scenes, too. But, I can’t figure out which one of you is the main Wizard of Oz and which one of you is the Wizard of Osborne and biting heads off of lizards and putting them on the bodies of the bats that you decapped earlier.

    As for you, Spam:
    Can you.
    Can you all to hell!

  103. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#76):

    I blame society. Society brought him to this end.

  104. Notebooked
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Phishface doesn’t look too prawny. I don’t think he has enough mussels to pull off a reel heist. Maybe salmon will do it instead of him, but he doesn’t seem roach enough to hire someone just for the halibut. (Do I get a trophy now? Or a tope?)

  105. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#104):

    So you are sayin’ he is gonna flop?

  106. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    BB – When I rule the world, legacy cartoonists will be fined for every mention of golf, and triple for any joke based around it.

    Crock – And here’s when Crock decided to try being The Far Side! Well, at the very least, it’s better at it than The Argyle Sweater.

    Curtis – Okay, but why are you dressed like an apple?

    DT – So Aquaman was killed by the Fish Mafia? (“Hey Joe, couldja put a little green rosetta on it?”)

    FC – Thing I did not need to see: Dolly doing the bathroom dance while talking about a “stuck zipper.”

    FW – Is this a thing that we’re supposed to be outraged about? It doesn’t make enough sense to be outraged over. This storyline is complete gibberish, Batiuk. Even if we found as much smug, smug satisfaction in the Two Weeks’ Hate against this character as you do, the horrible things she’s doing would have to at least seem halfway plausible. Geez, Cobra Commander’s evil plans make more sense than this.

    JP – Oh, skunk, you can’t attack soon enough. Also, those are some very neatly-formed Star Trek Rs you’re using.

    Love Is… – …wondering how breast-feeding is supposed to work.

    Luann – Oh golly, TJ, did the lady you’ve been plotting to destroy for something like eleven years eight months now decide that she wasn’t going to deal honestly with you? GOSH THAT’S JUST A SHAME NOW ISN’T IT.

    MT – “Would you believe there’s a trout the size of a Boeing 747 chasing a mosquito the size of a Volkswagen outside, Chief?” “I find that pretty hard to believe, Cherry.” “How ’bout a trout the size of a Cessna and a mosquito the size of a dog?” “…” “How about a minnow and a gnat.”

    NAOQV – Zing.

    Phantom – Such a horrible old codger! Why, I bet he doesn’t even like the metric system!

    SM – Good thing he attacked the decoy TV station that’s equipped with 1960s surplus.

  107. kkarenb
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#84): But it makes so much sense to have a doctor and nurse abandon a waiting room full of patients at the drop of a hat to investigate something they know nothing about! Along with the sheer stupidity of this arrangement, I have to think about the appointments Rex supposedly has set up in the next however many days. Becka on the phone: “Gee, Mrs. Jones, Dr. Morgan has to cancel the appointment you have for tomorrow to discuss the results of that suspicious mole biopsy. Can you come in in two or three weeks instead?”
    This strip is making my stomach hurt when I read it.

  108. ReFlex76
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Luann: . . . but, but . . . Anne is supposed to be the good guy! TJ is just out to make her look bad, she wouldn’t go back on her word, everyone here said so!

    (seriously, I’m amazed there are posts still defending her)

  109. The Ridger
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#107): Does Rex actually have patients? I thought he had cronies and old pals that he bewilderingly insists on seeing at his office. Probably a tax dodge of some sort.

  110. kkarenb
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#109): Good point. Considering the last medical treatment he provided – smelling salts to treat a drug overdose – he probably had his license revoked.

    If my memory is correct, it was Melissa who insisted on coming to the office. She called to schedule an immediate appointment and told Becka that the reason for the appointment was none of her business. Yeah, that happens in real life, too.

  111. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: If I had known the Garden of Eden had cake, I would have paid more attention in Sunday school. Seriously though, those card-playing critters are always sitting under that same dang tree. The card table and the cake are new though.

    Spider-Man: What’s not to love about a woman who can deliver her sarcasm while posing in a manner that says, Blaisé?
    (i seem to recall the last time these two were shown, Spider-man was pulling his costume out his closet and putting it on. Obviously, they decided to stay in that night instead of pursuing Clown-9. Think about it: Parker went from prepping for a fight to becoming an armchair quarterback.)

    Family Circus: If it was the mom, I’d reference some 90s teen comedy with Alicia Silverstone where one of the characters says, “Get used to that.”
    But, it’s the kid, so I won’t.

    Hi & Lois: ka-ching!

    Mark Trail: thank goodness I have until Monday to fill-in-the-blanks. As long as Rusty is missing, Mistopher Trendy’s storyline will work. Thank you, Sunday!
    (and dont’ get me wrong, folks, I’m not thanking everyone and everything today. Thanks for putting up with this though. You’re the tops!)

    Animal Crackers: Consumerism! What happened to rolling up your feathers and putting your beak to the topsoil?

    Pluggers: I call BS! What kind of Hank Hill Universe do this chimeras live in?
    I’m not gonna do the math but some of the variables are the size of the yard and the laziness of the guy minus the years since they passed mid-life crisis when they got their bigger, cooler, flashier toys that they can show off everywhere.
    It is just more idiosyncratic, I-wanna-be-a-plugger-too BS!

    Dennis the Menace: it is better for him to learn about The Crack at Independence Hall than it is for him to learn about The Crack on the streets of Philadelphia.

  112. Occipital Lobe
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#108): On the other hand, does she have to be evil just for the sport of it? If I were managing a restaurant, and I had an employee whose ideas quadrupled my sales — and he knew I would take all credit for it with corporate, and he was OKAY WITH THAT — wouldn’t I want to keep him around and happy?

    This story arc will end up with Eiffel fired and TJ somehow managing Weenie-World. Just you watch.

  113. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#9): And I wonder why I have a craving to listen to Kip Addotta’s “Wet Dream”…?
    Could be organic brain damage.

    @Doctor Handsome (#29): You forgot to mention Mumy’s continuing role in “Babylon 5″ as Lennier.

    @Holly Folly (#47): Miss Lockhorn
    MISS? You mean she and Leroy are… brother and… ulghhh…

    @Peanut Gallery (#51): Jetsons wasn’t a Flintstones parody so much as it was just mining the same vein. Now, the Jetstones, on the other hand…

  114. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Oop – Trust me, Ooola, after you’ve had a sip or two of this hot coca, you’ll never go back to Coke.

    Arlo – Thanks to Google, I get this!

  115. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Think about it, on a very basic level (and I mean that a pre-school mentality is needed to accept them as being authentically so) at that table sits two advice columnists.

  116. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    9 – By the end of the seven-hour dance, the only musician still playing was the cellist. By then, he was also the entire audience.

    Curtis“You’re squeezin’ my tears out!”
    Now I see why the barber might call him Calvin.

  117. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#108): Nobody gets more sympathy from me than a designated villain who’s clearly just a target for the author’s bile.

  118. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Dick“Keep it coming!”
    In Soviet Union, buffet comes to you!

    Hagar – You wouldn’t be so tired if you slept better, and you’d sleep better if you’d take off the stupid helmet. Would it help if I told you again that real Vikings never wore those?

  119. Notebooked
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#105): Findeed. I’m guessing his plan will be carp.

  120. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke – Where did Marm get all those V, Y, and X tiles? This is the weirdest game of Comically Oversized Scrabble ever!

    Nancy – “Uh oh… it’s an entity with a couple of pencils and he looks pissed. Oh, god, it’s ERNIE BUSHMILLER’S GHOST!”

  121. Dale
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#63):

    The EVIL GAME WARDEN realized that he could use Rusty as bait.
    These schemes work best if one does not tell the bait that it is bait.
    This could be the first time Rusty has been somebody’s chum.

  122. Dale
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Red & Rover is a “Join the Army” joke from the Vietnam era.
    The last three words are, “and kill them.”

  123. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#121):

    So, you are sayin’ that is About To Get Reel?

  124. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Luann — This town badly needs a better restaurant.

  125. pastordan
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#100): You say phonology, I say ham sandwich.

  126. pastordan
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#103): But Phishface, what about our relationship?

  127. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#23): The skunk is growling like Bob Hope when Dorothy Lamour shows up in a sarong in any “Road To…” movie. Natural reaction to seeing Mr. Driver in his sexy, buttoned to the top pajamas.i>

    I had no idea that skunks are sexally attracted to their cousins.

  128. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Dick – We will see the line “Phishface sleeps with the fishes” near the finish of this arc. And not in the biblical sense.

  129. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#128):

    I can see that. Most likely it will be in the rib tickle sense, where everyone gathered around in that final panel, when or after the phrase is spoken will laugh, laugh, laugh.

  130. HAnzMFG
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    In Spider-Man, it seems like Mary Jane is just now drawing to the conclusion that Clown-9 is dangerous. Previously, she couldn’t quite understand what it was, but now it’s his dementia. And not that he was able to defeat her superpowered husband twice.

  131. Cloudbuster
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#107): When they were going over that whole Hippocratic Oath thing, Rex wasn’t really paying attention. To this day he thinks it has something to do with African wildlife.

  132. NotThatGuy
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    DT: Just because a fish eats a fish (or a bird eats a bird) doesn’t make them cannibals (necessarily.) After all, humans are mammals and many humans dine happily on mammals (“mmm, crispy mammalian bacon!”) all the time. Since Phishface is eating at a cut-rate sushi joint, he’s almost certainly eating escolar, the “ex-lax fish” rebranded as “white tuna”, as has been found in 8 out of 9 recent tests of restaurant sushi.

  133. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#36):
    I, too, was thinking about this at 6 AM today.

  134. Calico
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @NotThatGuy (#132):
    Argh, “butterfish” to some?
    I don’t think I want to eat that ever, and I’m not much of a fish fan anyway (although I do enjoy a quarterly Phish binge)

  135. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

  136. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @NotThatGuy (#132):

    By “ex-lax” do you mean like a former workaholic or uptight, stressed out fish?
    Or, like a fish that will induce…movement…?

    I’m okay with vegitarian sushi things and I will eat traditional (?) sushi with meat in it but seafood isn’t really something to skimp on, in my opinion. So, is there crappy quality fish being used by some places?

    If so, not cool.

  137. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#98): Trip or kick her, Becky. You’ve still got two feet.
    Thanks!
    Or at least head-butt her!

  138. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

  139. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#138):

    I’d make a joke about how we can solve our energy “crises” but….

    yeesh! I will make a more dedicated effort to avoid meat in sushi.

    That sounds disturbing but I find it hard to understand how people would put up with something like that. I could see a restaurant trying to pass off a fish with side effects but patrons putting up with it is something I find harsh.

  140. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#139): I’d imagine it’s something you encounter more in cheap restaurants, but I don’t really know from sushi.

  141. NotThatGuy
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#136):

    Apparently there’s a good chance the fish on the menu is not the fish on your plate. About 1 in 3 for regular restaurants, and 87% of sushi places. And escolar (eg, the “stomach-cramping-and-diarrhea” fish) is highly likely to be substituted for any of the 14 species that can legally be labeled as tuna.
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Oceana-targets-fishy-labeling-practices-3811735.php

    None of which means Phishface *isn’t* a cannibal, of course.

  142. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#98): I mean Thanks! for the video – it was fun!

  143. Rocky Stoneaxe
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#80): Can’t quite determine upon whom Phishface is modeled.

    Character actor Johnny Arthur with a Fu Manchu moustache:

    http://i55.tinypic.com/nbu360.jpg

  144. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    PBS: I saw that joke coming, but I still ROFLd.

    SBp: *snurk!*

    late to the funnies, oh well.

  145. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .ballin’ and babes.

  146. This Guy
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @NotThatGuy (#141): It must be endemic to incredibly cheap sushi places–at least if it’s any indication that I eat grocery-store sushi (sometimes with sashimi) routinely and have never had a problem.

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 25th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    DT: Phishface of course got his name because he’s a huge fan of jam bands from Vermont. His mix tapes are famous throughout the Chicago underworld.

    MT: “But don’t worry. I put a note on his shirt that says, ‘Not Rusty Trail, haven’t seen any sheep killers, don’t bother kidnapping me.’”

    MW: So gratified is Mary at Dawn’s change of heart that she doesn’t even notice the albino lizard tongue protruding from her teacup. Boy, that lizard hungers for human flesh!

    C-Shaft: “Pork TV” is one of those cable channels you have to pay to get unscrambled. If you’re interested you’ll have to pony up, Ed.

    9CL: Good thing orchestra cellists can just come and go as they please and no one will say anything about it.

    RMMD: “It’s probably something stupid, so who better to send?”

    HtH: “He got killed on a raid and thanks to some arcane law I inherited his wife.”

    GT: “Dumber Twins powers activate!”

    FC: Man, am I not going there.

    Luann: How dare Ann outsmart an employee who’s been trying to screw her over from day one?

    S-M: I’m still not sure I see the threat here. Say the live audience doesn’t show up. By his own words it sounds like Clown-9 would just shrug his shoulders, change back into his civvies, and go home.

    SFx: Best. Peaceable Kingdom. Ever.

    H&J: I don’t think the two of them are going to double-team her, Eula. Nice to get this illuminating look into your fantasy life, though.

  148. cartooncritic2544
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

  149. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#147):

    Yes, let’s hope this doesn’t lead to the comic strip equivalence of a prolonged groovy guitar solo, a.k.a., Dinner with Mary Worth.

  150. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Pajama Diaries: Brilliant. Now the girls will have to leave their bikes on the sidewalk three or four more times just for you to break even on the costume.

  151. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#149):

    Let me amend that:

    Yes, let’s hope this doesn’t lead to the comic strip equivalence of a prolonged groovy guitar solo, a.k.a., Dinner with Mary Worth while sober and being pestered by redundant questions.

  152. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, does not understand all internet conventions (#75): I laughed at that Bringing Up Father too. Makes me wonder what it would be like if they were still making new ones. Would it be a pointless zombie strip like so many others? Maybe. Blondie often still seems to be made with care, though, so who knows?

  153. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    corgi jammies.

    meanwhile, at William Wegman’s bank.

    viva Brasil!. (somewhere between PG-13 and nsfw.)

    floofy weezoh.

    it’s goats vs piglets on Daily squee for next week. Someone should alert True Fable. *sniff* I’ll miss snow leopard week.

    handsome corgi is handsome.

  154. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#147): C-Shaft: “Pork TV” is one of those cable channels you have to pay to get unscrambled. If you’re interested you’ll have to pony up, Ed.

    Yeah, Ed gets into pig play and draws Rose into his new sordid lifestyle. He gets his name stripped from the hall-of-fame, but he doesn’t care, he’s too far gone.

  155. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#143): I need to add Cantinflas to that list.

  156. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Neil Armstrong died.

    I could go two ways with this:
    reverence about him and the era of his greatest accomplishments
    or
    i could be myself and be goofy about space programs. *

    He was a good man from what little I know about him.

    *and dangit. I could do both. It is tricky but easy enough because for most of us he is more myth than man. That Star Trek line about space being the “final frontier” makes it seem like being among the stars and beyond the Earth is inevitable. Like there is some sort of manifest destiny shared by all mankind to explore the reaches beyond our Big Blue Marble.

    It is cool and awesome but it is still too impractical to send people too far away. And, for the moon, unless Dick Tracy knows where the goods are, no one has convinced me of the point of colonizing the moon. If War becomes some sort of thing of the past then I could see colonizing other planets and places. But, it is a moon shot with little purpose.

    Anyway, Holy-What-The-Heck! Neil Armstrong is dead!

  157. Peanut Gallery
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    It’s a strange day when Hi & Lois is more worthy of a call to Child Protective Services than Love Is.

  158. S. Stout
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nonironic Luannfan (#101):

    The only reason TJ works there is to get her fired. Try to imagine that in real life, a guy getting a job in fast food solely to punish a manager who made his friend work on the job. It makes no sense.

    No, there is no reason we should be rooting for TJ. Ann is mean, but mostly because she expects her employees to work and her customers to not physically assault her.

  159. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 25th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#118):

    Would it help if I told you again that real Vikings never wore those?

    Hagar’s a big Richard Wagner fan. It’s one of the less anachronistic facts about his life.

  160. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#118):

    I never thought it would come to this but I will defend Hagar the Horrible.

    One, his pillaging and his overall exploits could be worse but he’s a cartoon viking.

    Two, the helmet is a solid element to identify him. Look at his subordinate, Eddie (?), years ago, I pegged him as being a guy who just got out of bed like those men ore “night shirts” in old timey movies. A horned helmet says viking, like eyepatches say Pirates or Nick Fury or arrogant people with eye problems.

    So, if you look at the characters in the Hagar strip as just being *designed* to make quick impressions, it looks more like a viking strip than whatever alternate universe LOST B.C. takes place in.

    That said, the strip ain’t the Marinas Trench of comic strips. If you know what I’m sayin. Historical accuracy was probably never the point either.

  161. Baka Gaijin
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#118): Though historically inaccurate, it’s a wicked cool helmet.

    @tallyHO (#156): Mr. Armstrong’s death is all over the news in Europe. Popular guy, he is.

  162. Peanut Gallery
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#134): Let’s not forget Phish Food and Swedish Fish.

  163. Dennis
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#38): Now all we need is a cameo from GoGo Gomez and we’ll have all the wonderfully old fashioned racism of the Dick Tracy cartoon from the 60s.

  164. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    DT-Mr. Phishface, whatever problems you are having can’t be found at the bottom of an endless sushi buffet.

  165. HAnzMFG
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    In a monumental day in the history of 9 Chickweed Lane, a character from the strip decides to get up and do something.

  166. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

  167. Dennis
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#108): It isn’t so much that she’s good, it’s that she’s a lesser shade of douchebag than the main characters. Kind of like how The Boondock Saints are able to justify whacking that mobster right in the middle of a courtroom with his whole family watching them. “We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain. For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day, you will reap it!”

  168. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#160): That’s a nice defense. I note, however, that it fails to address my point that sleeping with a horned helmet on is facking stupid.

    In my opinion, BC has been funny and is funny from time to time these days. Hagar has just sort of been around. I can’t actually think of a funny Hagar strip, though I expect there have been at least three. Whatever they were, they weren’t memorably funny. Maybe that time they played golf.

  169. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry Neil Armstrong is gone. One of the small number of humans who have stood on another sphere is gone.

    He walked in alien gravity, breathing air he had to bring with him. He was able to look up and see Earth in the far distance.

    For a while I’ll be able to say that I had my hand shook by the first surviving man to walk on the moon. One day he’ll be gone. One day I’ll be gone.

  170. TheDiva
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @ReFlex76 (#108): Anybody who can wipe that creepy-ass grin off TJ’s face, even momentarily, is okay in my book.

  171. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#168): I have a couple early Hägar collections. They’re not a laugh riot, not quite prime-years B.C. funny, but it was amusing back in the day.

  172. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#169):

    There’s nothing to think that people will never again step foot on the moon.

    I just think that going to Mars requires far too much to do. Going to moon is much closer and is probably much more possible now than it was then. But, what do you do on the moon? You’d need to bring a space ship that doubles as an honest to goodness living quarters, a la every science fiction movie/story in recent years.

    It is likely it will happen long before you pass on. I just hope that for most people it means as much as it did to people back then.

    ————-
    Oh yeah. I never said Hagar was a funny read. It is pretty much by-the-numbers as a strip goes, like Garfield or Ziggy are. A gag a day and easily forgettable.

  173. Poteet
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    CURTIS: I had a bad feeling that the cats might be somehow forgotten. But it’s not too late, Curtis! Just show them being taken to a shelter or adopted or otherwise cared for and some of us will be very grateful. I’m already grateful that you didn’t kill the cat lady.

  174. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#171):

    If you had to describe the gags were they homelife gags, workplace gags, human nature observations, hapless oafs dealing with the difficulty of life, sort of like Andy Capp with the husband wife dynamic?

    I guess, what current strip’s humor is like what the Amusing Period of Hagar was like?

  175. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#174): It’s more or less like it is now; the mainstays are mostly the same (pillaging as daily grind, Hägar and Helga’s somewhat dysfunctional relationship, the humor in Hägar’s son being the meek, scholarly child while his daughter is the brazen warrior,) only better executed, and somewhat surprisingly there’s a little more variety in the one-off gags, including more openly fantastical elements than just a dragon here and there and the doctor being a vaguely Druidic sort of person (one that springs to mind: Hägar and Eddie are out fishing and come across a mermaid. Hägar makes a pass at her and is shot down; rowing away, he sullenly remarks “She was probably full of mercury anyway!”)

  176. Zerowolf
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    FC: Thel is angry that her daughter knows about stuck zippers. There will be a harlot stoning in the Keane Kompound backyard tonight.

  177. Mr. Ray
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “I don’t mean to rush you Greg, but our entire universe is about to rotate 180 degrees.” “No problem, Margo. We’ll just turn and face the other way.”

  178. Zerowolf
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    FW: What is the sound of one hand committing elder abuse?

  179. Zerowolf
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: There is pork-TV, but it’s scrambled so the kiddies won’t accidently see people porking.

  180. Zerowolf
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: You want Rex to engage the women? That is about as unlikely to happen as a Parker-Spencer-Driver using food stamps.

  181. Zerowolf
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#5): Skunks do growl. It’s a sound you really don’t want to hear. Hearing a skunk growl is a prelude to being doused with nature’s tear gas.

  182. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#175):

    thanks.
    soooooo, everyone is determined to make this the day that i swear off eating fish of anykind.

    Oh well, something had to be the tipping point.

  183. cartooncritic2544
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Is anyone else vaguely uncomfortable that today’s CC headline is “Something Fishy This Way Comes” and the first picture we see is Margo?

  184. HAnzMFG
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Yes, “JOE’S SUSHI,” a place which has all the aesthetics and trappings of a 1950′s greasy spoon diner, except that it serves sushi, which must have certainly been all the rage in post-WWII America.

  185. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#169): In July of 1969, I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. A few weeks later I was at the original Woodstock. I was 16 years old and those two occurrences made me believe this was, indeed, the modern world and great things were in store for our future.

    Things didn’t work out exactly as planned. Vietnam, race riots and Watergate overpowered the optimism of the summer of 1969, but Neil Armstrong remained a hero to me. That was important during a time when heroes were hard to find.

  186. Liam
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft-You wouldn’t be asking that question if you’ve seen all the sex that is on tv nowadays.

  187. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#182): I guess it says something about my food proclivities that I kept seeing the words “fish” and “sushi” here and ignored all the unpleasantness; instead, I called up the neighborhood sushi place and ordered up some eel rolls and some spicy tuna rolls. Yum!

  188. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#187):

    Hey, if you like it a lot, there is nothing I find wrong with that. I have eaten sushi. And, I do know someone who prepares his own. That may be where I first ate it. The idea is nice enough and I’ve never had any that didn’t taste good. I just never have had a craving for it like some people I know.

    It’s all cool.
    However, seafood and even freshwater fish are not a mainstay with me and they will probably remain that way, with few exceptions.

  189. Downpuppy
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G : It is utterly impossible that they have the same person draw both panels of the same day strip, unless it’s somebody who trained by doing “Spot the differences” strips for Highlights Illustrated: Fun with a Porpoise for 30 years.

    I gots 2 today.

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#187): @tallyHO (#188): Well, bb,o has lived in Japan, as I have, and that makes all the difference. I have never had sushi in the States quite as good, though. I keep trying, though.

    // Can’t go wrong with the eel!

  191. Uncle Lumpy
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190):

    I had sushi breakfasts a couple times at one of the little shed restaurants in Tsukijii Market in Tokyo — fresher than anywhere but a fishing boat, and the other clientele were all Market workers or fishermen, so probably pretty demanding. But the eel was really strange — no BBQ sauce, and I think it might have been raw. Not bad, really, but I wouldn’t order it again.

  192. Arabella
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#173): Curtis: I fear the cats will join Cousin Andrew in limbo.

  193. Daniel
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns They’re George and Martha from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

  194. Winnie
    August 25th, 2012 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Daniel (#193): But — Loretta is no Liz Taylor.

  195. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#175): Well, okay. That sounded amusing.

    I think when I realized the dog was named Snert and the duck was Kvack, my general lack of any feeling for Hägar blossomed into actual contempt.

    @Chaze (#185): I was twelve, and I stayed up to record the sound from the TV. The tape’s in a box over there (pointing), but I haven’t had a machine to put it in for some time. I wonder what cheap reel-to-reel machines go for now. Should have gotten one after cassettes took over, but I thought I had one. (I tried to use it for something about ten years ago, and there was the familiar smell of a transformer that had just transformed itself into a smelly brick.)

  196. commodorejohn
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#195): If you’re lucky, you can find one in a thrift store or garage sale for about five bucks…

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#191): But the eel was really strange — no BBQ sauce, and I think it might have been raw.

    Great Googleymoogley! A sushi shop in Tokyo serving raw fish… heaven forfend. Perhaps they suspected you were a gaijin and were having their little joke on you?

    // I am reminded of the tv ads I saw once for a well-known seafood restaurant on the Gulf Coast of Florida. They bragged that their chef was on the docks at the seafood market several times a week!

    That restaurant would have been shut down by popular outcry, in Japan. If you buy seafood for a restaurant in Japan you are there at market at zero-dark-thirty every morning, or you don’t open.

    The Florida restaurant’s boast, to a Japanese person’s ears, would be like a mother bragging that she changed her baby’s diaper several times a week!

  198. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#189): Geez, I loved Highlights, especially Goofus and Gallant. How come I only found it at my dentist’s office?

  199. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#198):

    I swear there were door-to-door salespeople who sold subscriptions.

    Somehow, I had one for a while.

    While I marvel at the fact that I did get one, we did subscribe to two papers and regularly bought a third. I sort of doubt anyone would have thought that was the case with my family. But, it primed me early and for a long time. Kids should want to read and to know and to understand what they know.

    Highlights was/is a good magazine to engage kids. But, there have been quite a few which have and probably do that these days. Publishing is rough and too many of those magazines just fold because they don’t sell enough ads. It used to not be like that. Magazines and Newspapers supposedly got by on sales first and ads secondly. The industries became too dependent upon that model and screwed themselves.

  200. Droopy Says
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#181): So you’re saying that a skunk has the same conversational skills as one of the Parker-Drivers. Okay. I can’t wait to see what sort of deal he offers Sam Parker.

  201. UncleJeff
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Peanuts:
    An ironic repeat this morning (I wish I had the skills to download the strip)
    I saw this strip this morning before learning of Neil Armstrong’s death.
    It’s probably from the time of the Apollo mission where the command module and lunar lander were named after Charlie Brown and Snoopy.
    For me, it recalled simpler times where heroism was represented by self-effacing men like Neil Armstrong and a little boy standing on the banks of the Missouri River could look at that brilliant full moon the night of 7/20/69 and be filled with awe and wonder.

  202. Chaze
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#199): I remember Highlights as being perfectly age appropriate, yet never talking down to me. At the same time my mom was buying me the Golden Age Encyclopedia in monthly installments at our local supermarket. I read each one cover to cover. My friends thought I was pretty goofy for constantly reading this stuff, but it paid off. I am here snarking comic strips. Can’t beat that with a stick.

  203. UncleJeff
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

  204. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#191): Oh man, I love me some barbecued eel. But while I’m engaging in food fantasies, here’s something I miss, too: the Filipino breakfast of garlic fried rice and grilled fish–nothing better after a night at the bars.

    @Chaze (#202): We always had Highlights as kids, but what I really remember about it is the student I had a number of years ago who used it (unironically) as a reference in a research paper—and no, it wasn’t the appropriate and interesting usage of, say, how children’s publications treat a particular issue.

  205. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt. IV

    @tallyHO (part5#311):

    Like a sober jug band playin’ to a raucus, drunk crowd, my heart was beatin’ with a bodacious rhythm. I woulda thunk I’da passed out at the excitement o’ seein’ a bonnie fied wildman standin’ befo’ my eyes.

    I took out my Bi-Knockulars to take a closer look, despite him only bein’ 3 or so yards apace. My, oh my! There he stood, this “man” Doc called “Mark Trail”. He was a lookin’ like some American Tarzanamaman. Intead of britches, he had a bunch of raccoon tails that were somehow suspended and hiding all that I did not wish ta see. But, his bare chest told its own story.

    Now, I am prone once in a while. The rest of the time, I am supine. I am also prone ta bein’ able to judge a feller by the way he carries himself. This here was the hairiest beast of a man I e’er done seen. True, I’ve seen beards longer and tanglier than his. I’ve seen enough of muh distant hippie cuzzins ta recognize the hair on his Lion-like mug. But, jumpin and outta jehosophat! The man had a chest like Sonny Bono’s vest!

    (ta be continued ta hep this gibbrish be mo’ legibble.)

  206. tallyHO
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt. VII
    @tallyHO (part6#205):
    Wouldn’t Ya Know It, He Speaks!

    Doc, have you found out where Rusty is? Have you heard more than I have? Mr. Mark Trail asked with exasperation and desperation drippin’ with perspiration.

    Doc sed holdin’ his nose, All I know, Mark, is that he went looking for arrowheads out at the old indian mounds. What have you heard?

    The manic-eyed wildman replied, A little bird told me that an alligator told him that a giant eagle told him that Rusty witnessed a crime of Big Horn proportions! There’s bad guys who don’t want him to survive!

    If Rusty’s at the indian mounds, maybe Sheman Shaman and her trusty bear friend can help us. Since I heard about Rusty missing, I didn’t even think to ask my social network of bears. I depend upon them so much otherwise. But, perhaps they and the Shaman can help us rescue Rusty and catch those bad guys.

    Just then, Race Manman spoke up. He had the look of either slight distrust, or perhaps it was envy, in his ocean blue eyes.

    Mark, he said, do you feel that your fabled Fists of Justice are ready to kick some indian mound’s asses?

    Mark Trail suddenly…wait. Mark Trail is this feller’s name? Did his parents figger that Breadcrum’ might be too ostentatious and wuz too clever by a carton of half and half?

    Mark Trail suddenly stood up a little straighter wif the testerahsterone obviously coursing through his crazy self. He then turned around and wif his right fist he hit the trunk of a tree as thick as a keg!
    Wotta fool this mad man be!
    Then wif his left fist he smacked the trunk wif an uppercut.

    Well, muh peepers are the best excuse Ah got ta get outta messes cuz they’s a couple of liars.

    But, I swear befo’ all that is 80 proof that tree done went a sailin’ outta sight!

    Ah cain’t read none but it look like the sky lit up with a KRAK KAPOW ZOOOOOM!

    It flew back and up like Spideyman facin’ the wraff o’ his weakest enemy’s punch. So, once the action done started, like Spidey, by the time we blinked that tree was gone like a coward. All that wuz left, like after the second panel of a Spideyman strip, was weez bein’ next ta stumped.

    (Whew! Bein’ as litrit as an alitrit gets, I feel a bit tuckered out! Accordin’ to wut I’m seein’ with my Bi-knockulars, it looks like sumptin.

    Ah need a drink. Then mebbe I’ll continue this tale of Oh another day oncen’t I remember how the Rescoo of Rusty turned out. )

  207. Ian Beste
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    RE: Neil Armstrong (1930-2012), naval aviator, test pilot, engineer, astronaut.
    Excellent (and authorized) biography:
    James R. Hansen, First Man: The Life of Neil Armstrong, Simon & Schuster, 2005.

  208. Uncle Lumpy
    August 25th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197):

    Unagi is grilled eel. This was not.

  209. Nehemiah Scudder
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#208): Quite. I should have figured from your little mouse-over above you knew sashimi from sushi, and unagi from either.

    Were you there for business, education, or pleasure?

  210. Uncle Lumpy
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#209):

    It was business: I was a Marketing exec for a Japanese electronics conglomerate– to manage the time-shift on trips to Japan, I would force myself to stay awake until 8:00 PM or so, then pop out of bed around 3:00 AM Tokyo time. A cab ride to Tsukijii filled in the time before the work day started. Also, I got to see the happiest cats in the world.

    On one visit, I got an extra day owing to a Japanese Monday holiday — I packed a bunch of camping gear and hightailed it from Narita to Fuji-Yoshida, then climbed Fuji to watch the sun come up. Alas, too much fog, but an unforgettable trip nonetheless.

  211. Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#187):

    I keep seeing McDonalds commercials on TV every night and now I’m craving MickeyD’s food every day!

    How do they do that!

  212. Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    @Ian Beste (#207):

    One of my heros has past…….

  213. Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör (#212):

    Errrr, has Passed…..

    Damned autocorrect and trigger finger….

  214. commodorejohn
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#210): Reminds me of the time our family trekked up to Crater Lake in Oregon when we were out in the Pacific Northwest – it was a clear day when we started, but as we went up into the mountains it started to snow. By the time we got up to the lodge on the rim, we couldn’t see farther than about eighty feet out. We have a photo of our family against a background of impenetrable grey, to which my brother helpfully added an insert shot of what we could theoretically have seen, weather permitting.

  215. Uncle Lumpy
    August 26th, 2012 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#214):

    Yeah, the best part of the Fuji trek was camping out at the 8 1/2 stage, realizing that I was the only human being in a cubic mile.

  216. commodorejohn
    August 26th, 2012 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#215): There are days I could use that kind of solitude…

  217. Johnny Q
    August 26th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    DICK TRACY: You know, Phishface looks a lot like the dog in REN & STIMPY. (Is it Ren? Or is it Stimpy? I’ve never watched it.)

  218. Amykins
    August 26th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Q (#217):

    You’ve…never watched…HUH?

  219. On Wisconsin
    August 28th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Maybe I’m a horrible person, but Phishface in my mind sounds exactly like Sammie Davis Junior.

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