The Comics Curmudgeon

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Dark shadows

Mary Worth, 3/7/08

Let’s not read too much into Toby’s use of “compulsion” in panel one — I’m pretty confident we’re not going to go much deeper into Mary’s psychology than “my true religion is kindness” or some such claptrap. Some backstory would be a refreshing change, though, full of sailing vessels, crinolines, “prithee”, witch trials, a narrow escape from the stake, a stark struggle for survival through the icy New England winter, and encounters with wolves that prove to be more than they seem. . . .

Funky Winkerbean, 3/6/08 and 3/7/08

If I’m not mistaken, this is the first post-jump Funky with a focus on the kids instead of their sad sack elders. Nice start! So let’s overlook the apparent continuity error on Opponent McHeadband’s jersey for now. Instead, look at scrappy Summer Moore there, giving as good as she gets! I gotta ask — where’d she get that from? Surely not everybody’s favorite Utility Victims, Les ‘n’ Lisa! Whose kid is she — I mean, really? Let’s watch as the dark secret emerges, only to grind the last particle of joy from Les’s trudge to the grave.

Family Circus, 3/7/08

On March 7, 2008, Jeff and Bil Keane finally decided that phoning it in was just too damn much work.

- Uncle Lumpy

This entry was posted on Friday, March 7, 2008 at 01:31 am and is filed under Family Circus, Funky Winkerbean, Mary Worth.

250 responses to “Dark shadows”

Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 7th, 2008 at 1:38 am [Reply]

Oh lord, not a Mary Worth where they discuss how she found religion… as a religious person I know that it’s going to be that smarmy “Comics/television religion that tries to please the Christians while simultaneously not offending everyone else, meaning it’s completely devoid of any substance or meaning.” Hopefully, though, we’ll instead of treated to a bogus flashback where she is anointed by God to help the poor souls of Charterstone from a flaming rosebush.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 7th, 2008 at 1:39 am [Reply]

RMMD: It’s great seeing Niki’s mom again. Her coif makes Niki’s starfish look immaculate, even after twelve weeks in the bush.
True Fable
March 7th, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

Fryday Snarkyn.

A3G Now look what you did, you got the Not Naked Cowboy in a snit.
CATHY MUST DIE. yeah, but you’re still a shallow, lazy, malleable littlee shitheel, baby.
DtM Fine. Let me practice spankin’ your ass, kid.
FC But if he takes his finger out of his nose, won’t his oversized head deflate?
FBoFW Another Unrealistic Piece of Shit. Who in the world drops in on a casual friend and answers the phone for her? NOBODY except people Lynn needs to villify in Foobville. Hang it up, Lynnie Baby. You are so out of touch with reality it ain’t funny.
GT It’s funny but I just can’t seem to follow Gil Thorp any more. It’s so…connected. I keep thinking I’m missing something, like panels that have absolutely nothing to do with the other panels.
JP Chickens can be pretty quiet as long as nobody’s bothering them, they have plenty of feed and water and they’re sitting on a nest. But if you’re going to go clomping around yelling for people, sure I guess they’d cluck their little fowl heads off.
Luann Fail.
MT Is he flying home, or is the car on top of a hill that we’ve never seen before near the Honeycomb Hideout, or just what is the deal here? Never mind. It’s time for Another Really Hard to Believe Episode of Mark Trail, Face Puncher!
Marvin Yeah, your parents should go to hell for bringing you here.
MW OMG, is Mary Worth going to actually FLASHBACK to when she was NOT some white haired busybody old crone?

I TOLD you guys Mary was a Time Lord! But would you believe me? Noooo! (And ‘Time Lord’ is not just a Dr. Who reference. Mary controls the time, distance, the wind and the outcome of the third race at Pimlico.)

Phantom They did not earn their merit badges.
RMMD AAAURGH! Toilet Bowl Scrubber Head Woman is back!
S-M Peter Parker, bitten by a radioactive Failbug, travels the city bobbling his head until he can find a handy tv remote. That’s pretty much what this strip has boiled down to for me.
Pastor Z
March 7th, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

Perhaps we’ll learn of the winter Mary was forced to wear a scarlet letter – not an “A” like Hester Prynne, but an “M” to identify her crime: meddling.
ltrftp Hedly
March 7th, 2008 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Re MW: Why do I think I am gonna hear “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!”?
Trekkie
March 7th, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

@True Fable: As Lenny Briscoe said about horse racing – “I always bet the grey”.

FOOB – Why do I suddenly feel like I’m watching an old episode of Dudley Do-Right?

Paul is Dudley (though a bit brighter than our titular hero).

Warren is Snidely Whiplash, though that is really more bad writing than acting there.

Liz is Nell, who unfortunately is in love with the horse (played, of course, by Anthony).
Mike
March 7th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

Foob: Is it just me or does Liz look a lot like Blanthony in the 2nd and 4th panels of today’s strip?
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 2:08 am [Reply]

AHA!

I have discovered the real reason for Lynn suddenly conjuring Warren up out of thin air and turning him into a jerk.

I watched that CBC video that was linked on the previous thread, and it mentions that Lynn’s husband was a flying dentist.

That would go a long way toward explaining her newfound hostility to people with pilot’s licenses.

I didn’t realize that she lives up near North Bay either. No wonder, as has been commented upon, that her concept of life in the GTA is so boring.
True Fable
March 7th, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

#6 Trekkie – Lenny Briscoe was teh cool.

*chung-chung!*
Will
March 7th, 2008 at 2:16 am [Reply]

Sorry; I don’t really follow FW like I should–is Summer Moore out yet, or is the world still pretending she just has a really bad haircut?
Jack Hare
March 7th, 2008 at 2:21 am [Reply]

The edge of Jeffy’s elbow, or a little glimpse of his left sleeve past his chin, would have been reassuring; as it is, I’m left with the unnerving impression that he has a finger in his nose and both hands at his sides.
kippetje2000
March 7th, 2008 at 2:27 am [Reply]

I found that the real quote is from the Dalai Lama “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”. So Mary reads Eastern philosophy. And here I thought her a practitioner of Biddieism.
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

8. Oh, and that video also reprised the strips about Elly’s mother dying. They were so horrible I must have put them out of my mind.

Historical note.

I went back to 1300 to see if anyone had anything to say about that (Hah! Just like the Doctor and Martha going to the Globe Theatre to see Love’s Labour Won) but everyone was talking about breasts back then.
Farley's Revenge
March 7th, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

I’ve been lurking here for over a year, enjoying the discussions and laughing myself silly at the COTW but never really having the urge to sound off about any particular comic.

Until now. I just read Friday’s FBOFW offering and that freckle-faced slimejob asking who answered the phone as though he had the right to demand the phone-answerer’s identity was enough to drive me out of lurkdom. HE called. HE should identify himself, not the other way around. How does he know he didn’t call the wrong number? Oh. That’s right. He’s one of Johnston’s chosen ones. He NEVER makes a mistake.

I realize these are just badly drawn characters from some artist who hasn’t had a passing acquaintance with reality in some time, but darn it all! I’ve had it with the ret-conning of the characters! Elizabeth used to be semi-interesting! Warren used to be interesting! Elly used to be human! Mike used to be semi-normal! Anthony used to be an annoying, manipulative dork…wait. That really hasn’t changed.

Now Johnston has taken Warren-whom she introduced right after the whole Eric thing-and transformed him from someone who seemed like a decent, honorable young man into Loungelizard Larry. It’s like she has just two versions of men: Saints, who are all measured against Mike, and weasels, all who are non-Mike. Johnston decided that Anthony was a saint and no matter the depths she has him plumb, he will always be a saint and deserving of his preciousss Elizabeth. Warren? Somehow he ended up in weasel-dom, therefore he must be portrayed as such, no matter how nice he was before. He could get together with Eric and Paul and they could compare notes about their slide from grace: “I’m not really bad. I was just drawn that way. I’m really a nice, normal guy who made the mistake of being attracted to She Who Must Be Adored From Afar. Sorry.”

They’re not characters any more. They’re caricatures.

And where the heck is April? Did they lock her in the basement with Francie-with-a-squiggle? Did she bug out when she realized her fate in life was to end up with Gerald and to develop a nose the size of a VW Beetle?

Okay. I’m finished ranting now. I can go back to lurking again.

Aaand coming back out of lurking to offer apologies to Jessica Rabbit, only to discover a new thread…
Jack Hare
March 7th, 2008 at 2:34 am [Reply]

Mr. O’Malley, I can’t help but imagine a ‘flying dentist’ and the images that come to mind don’t involve a pilot’s license… :D
Luprand
March 7th, 2008 at 2:39 am [Reply]

I like how Mary’s face stays in shadow the whole time. It’s like she’s gearing up for some sort of transformation into her true form as the Meddling Biddy Queen so that she may more fully transfix Toby and force her to listen to her story. With a side of platitudes.
Jack Hare
March 7th, 2008 at 2:49 am [Reply]

Oh, I thought we were just witnessing a partial Marian eclipse.
Mibbitmaker
March 7th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

3/7:

FOOB: http://www.codedread.com/images/iit.jpg

FC: “…and reattach it to your hand where it belongs! …..No, Jeffy, NOT your NOSE, your FINGER!!”

S-M: “Good hands??? Krandis ain’t All State, y’know!”

FW: “At least I have a mommy! One who would have sued the damn hospital for negligence!”

GT: “We gotta get you to the E.R.! [thinking:]Where they’ll ask for an I.D.! Better keep this on the Q.T.! And get him to a doctor P.D.Q.! If I let a pet go through this, I’d be called on it by the A.S.P.C.A.! Or, if he was black, the N.A.A.C.P.! I’m a citizen of the U.S.A.! A character in G.T.! Less N.F.S.!…” “Will you get me to the damn HOSPITAL already?? What’s keeping you???”

A3G: It’s like Alan is going through a Peter-Parker’s-Wife-Is-A-Successful-Actress, What-About-ME?! time loop or something.

Garfield: TA-DAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Cranky: It’ll also likely mean that the time thingies on places like this blog will be off an hour for months! %$#$%^&!! Boxcar!
kippetje2000
March 7th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]

#16 Luprand: Or perhaps she has the awsome power to block out the sun.

Put out a wrist-radio callto Dick Tracy! Someone has stolen Dab Stract’s other chin testicle. Oh, wait. Tracy’s right there. Oh my gawd, someone stole Dab Stract’s chin testicle right out from under Dick Tracy’s nose!
Arglebargle
March 7th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]

Bizarro: Piraro can be a funny guy when he stays away from Star Trek – The Next Generation gags, but today’s strip is just phenomenally stupid.

First, real pirates weren’t Johnny Depp.

Second, if anyone from that time period “looked gay,” it was the guys in powdered wigs, beauty marks, corsets, and hosiery.

This is what happens to your mind when you’re vegan. Or worse.

Luann: Speaking of “looking gay”…

Non Sequitur: Ironically, today’s strip itself contains the greatest universal truth of all.

Rex Morgan: Damn, woman–stop chewing on the hot leads!!

Sally Forth: So, Ted–Sally’s horrible mother was right all along. You just didn’t want to listen until you were shamed by your daughter’s friend whom you want to boink so badly.
arik1969
March 7th, 2008 at 2:55 am [Reply]

“Mary, Where does your compulsion to stick your nose into other peoples business come from? Are you religious, or just an old, dried-up bat who likes to butt in where she doesn’t belong, dispensing ‘advice’ that nobody asked for, creating havoc and distress everywhere she goes, then reveling in the misery and chaos she’s caused?”

“To quote an anonymous wise person: “If my aunt had balls, she’d be my uncle.” It really has nothing to do with what we’re talking about right now, but it always makes me smile. Of course, when I was a much younger dried-up old bat…”
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 3:04 am [Reply]

I’ve been too busy to get to Wednesday’s Slylock until now.

Things in the scene:

ARCHI, the TV show about a dopey cowboy dog,
not to be confused with RA CHI, the ancient Egyptian art of self-defense

COY BOW around the dog’s neck

REM TOE–It’s the end of the socks as we know it, and I feel fine

UN DOT installed on the back of the chair by Boutros Boutros-Ghali in person.

P.O. WILL “You’re not inheriting a dime, you worthless brat! I’m leaving everything to the ASPCA!”

THEO LE PEN the guy in the chair is the art dealer brother of a right-wing French politician
Chert the Chort
March 7th, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

FW: “What is she?” you ask? Are you asking if she’s a lesbian? Are you calling it early? Because of the tomboyishness? The basketball? Too early to call?

Gad, it’s so late here.
Jack Parsons
March 7th, 2008 at 3:27 am [Reply]

20: Yeah, I went to see Dan Piraro’s stage show in SF. It was really fun, except for when he showed vegan meat-is-Mordor propaganda slides.

DtM: Dennis, fishing in the goldfish bowl is menacing when you use M-80s.
Kurdt
March 7th, 2008 at 3:38 am [Reply]

I don’t read Funky Wrinklebean except for this site so I thought those were guys playing basketball.

Daddy Keane is on LSD: “Now take your finger out of your nose Billy and get those rainbow banana pixies off your head!”
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 3:42 am [Reply]

20. I thought NS was rather good today. I like his gag-a-days better than his continuity strips.

18. Mibbitmaker. I tried, but I can’t cross my eyes enough to see it in 3-D.

15. Jack Hare. My dentist never gives me any of that stuff.

They called him a “flying dentist” in the video. I suppose he had a “pontoon plane” and flew about delivering dental care to the inhabitants of northern Manitoba. But something about it makes me think of Benny Hill in My Boomerang Won’t Come Back.

11. Jack Hare. There is no physical way that he could have his finger in his nose without us seeing his arm. Note I will tastefully pass up the temptation to … no, I can’t … how can I put this … umm … unless the Keanes have moved to Molokai.

I notice both MC and PmP are doing “baldness repels women” jokes today. And PmP and MW are both about eternal darkness.

What’s that thing behind Mary in Panel 1? It looks like a person with an amputated arm carrying a dogfish.
Manos
March 7th, 2008 at 3:44 am [Reply]

FW: It looks like the Lady Scapegoats are playing their own brand of Murderball. The only thing that’s missing are the legless and the wheelchairs — but don’t worry, that’s coming soon!

FC: This is one of the laziest FCs I’ve ever seen.

Foobz: Much like Garfield Without Garfield, I’d like to see FBoFW Without Anybody. Ever. Please.
Manos
March 7th, 2008 at 3:47 am [Reply]

#25: I’m with you on the masculinity of the Lady Scapes. Had it not been for the obvious LADY SCAPEGOATS uniforms, I would have been baffled. Is this co-ed? Trannyball? What?
Zaq
March 7th, 2008 at 3:48 am [Reply]

Okay, seriously, Warren is totally channeling Kashiwagi here. That makes Liz the Third Princess, but I guess that makes Inevithony Genji… which I have a hard time accepting, except that Genji really was really douchey, and that it makes perfect sense that Lynn would declare Inevithony to be her “shining prince.”

Has anyone else read Genji? If so, anyone getting the same vibes? I wouldn’t have expected Lynn to break out the Heian literature, but seriously, Warren’s totally being Kashiwagi to Liz’s Third Princess. Mark my words, next he’ll be stealing her cats and fetishizing them into surrogates for her, and then wasting away once Inevithony finds out about his lustful ways.

I seriously hope that someone else has read Genji so that I’m not just talking to myself here. Anyone?
Arglebargle
March 7th, 2008 at 4:00 am [Reply]

26: Oh, don’t get me wrong–NS is one of the rare strips I enjoy because it’s consistently good. Dr. Phil is a creepy unwashed d*ck, is what I meant.

All Funky Winker needs now is Gil Thorp’s old artist.
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 4:54 am [Reply]

There was some discussion a couple of threads ago about appropriate fonts for comics and I just found this website. For people who are into fonts.
MWDG
March 7th, 2008 at 4:57 am [Reply]

I can’t tell if Toby is being sacrcastic here…

It sounds like she is interviewing Buddha

Mary is so ful of her self it is sickening… in the lower right corner of the first panel and aryan robot is coming to attack Toby and Mary!
And The
March 7th, 2008 at 6:07 am [Reply]

MW: Oh please let this be the introduction to the Secret Origin of Mary Worth. Perhaps she was bitten by a radioactive shrew. Or she was the last survivor of a planet of intergalactic meddlers. She could be only the latest in a long, long, long line of Mary Worths, each replacing the last as they are murdered by their victims. The anticipation is killing me, so naturally this will lead to nothing.

DT: That last panel is certainly self-justifying.

Phantom: Wow, that thug must have had some red hot info! So hot they couldn’t get permission to reveal it to the readers.

GA: OK, you gained a few points here and there on the last storyline, but you’re rapidly losing them with these wistful, lame, humor-resembling remarks.

S-M: How convenient that he saw her entering Krandis’ limo, but no one saw her clearly struggling with him, her kicking him and running into the clutches of the Persuader. Must be standard dating procedure in that theater’s vicinity.
gleeb
March 7th, 2008 at 6:35 am [Reply]

9CL: If this gets any more fierce, a tea dance is going to break out.

A3G: Well, of course you’re wrong, Blaze. He’s an artist. He doesn’t want proof of another artist, especially one he knows, being more successful than he.

Crock: See, the joke is on Crock! He was stealing geese, not chickens!

Duck: I agree. If we’re not careful, we’ll end up overextended in foreign military adventures, relying too much on hired soldiers of questionable loyalty instead of honest volunteer legionaries.

Rex: If they’re “all over the news”, there’s nothing more they could tell you if they called, now is there?

Spidey: Our Hero confers with Alleyman, who wages a one-man war on the untidy alleys of New York.
dyslexic dog
March 7th, 2008 at 6:38 am [Reply]

*intermission*
For any interested, it appears that comics.com has just started running Li’l Abner strips from the very beginning in 1934, before Pansy turned into Popeye, Pappy lost a huge chunk of height, and before Li’l Abner started styling his hair.
Mr. O'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 6:56 am [Reply]

From time to time people mention what a nice community we have here. In fact, Uncle Lumpy mentioned it just a little while ago.

I got interested in the question of the Comic Sans font that was raised a while ago in the context of My Cage. I have some material at my work that is in Comic Sans, so I thought I might investigate some alternatives.

I did some searching on the topic and I happened upon this page, which must be the poster child for Dysfunctional Blog Week.

Bookmark this page. Any time you get annoyed and feel like saying something intemperate, click over to this page and ask yourself if you would want to see CC go in this direction.

These are people talking about fonts. Not political developments in the Middle East, not the US trade deficit, not flesh-eating bacteria, not global warming, not anything that would have some serious impact on someone’s life, not even our appreciation of the comics, but fonts.

Say stranger, I see yer business card uses Verdana. There ain’t room in this typecase fer both of us. Put up yer dukes!
Mr. O\'Malley
March 7th, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

35. dyslexic dog. Wow. Very interesting. Thanks for posting this. Here’s something to keep up with.
Pozzo
March 7th, 2008 at 7:14 am [Reply]

My first thought was that at least Batiuk can draw sports action better than the Gil Thorp artists, present and past. Then I read Uncle Lumpy’s comments and thought, “Whoa, those are supposed to be *girls*?” and quietly withdrew my compliment.
Team MP
March 7th, 2008 at 7:25 am [Reply]

MT- Delivering Mark’s letter to the community has apparently earned Andy some appropriately named doggie. Either that or Mark has the smallest car seat ever. I’m hoping for the latter.
man behind the curtain
March 7th, 2008 at 7:34 am [Reply]

FBOW — Answering someone else’s home phone. This borders on the unbeleivable. On the other hand, maybe Warren will note the name and number from the called ID. The using reverse search, get the address and stalk Granthony via helicopter.

MW — Great. Now we can get Mary’s life story. This is where we will learn that ever since the day Mary advised Jesus to go into Jerusalem (Don’t worry Jesus, the Romans won’t bother you.), she’s been made to wander the earth giving advice until she gets it right.
LTBF
March 7th, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

Lumpy-It looks like the headband girl is wearing #8 in the first panel, but part of it is obscured by her hand.

I also think Summer’s comment was rather tacky coming from someone whoise own mother died at such a young age.
aquagirl3
March 7th, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

Nomination for Entertaining Sound Effect of the Day: Baldo. “Fah-fwip!”
Little Guy
March 7th, 2008 at 7:51 am [Reply]

yester-Funky: The love child of David Tyree mistakes Summer’s head for the basketball.

FOOB: Answering someone else’s phone late at night. I should be reading this while listening to an aria from “Hitman”.
nerowolfgal
March 7th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

#29 – Yes, I have read Genji! And you are right. Does that mean Lynn has also read it? If so, do we have any hope at ALL that Anthony will pull a Genji and just die between strips, out of panel?

Of course we would then have to endure the rest of the characters talking about him and his effect on them, but still Anthony would be dead.
And The
March 7th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

#36: Mr. O’Malley: Oh yeah, I’ve seen tons of online, hardcore fights over fonts in my long, aged time on the Intertubes. Heck, even as far back as my telnet days I recall fanatical discussions from people who *hated* certain fonts. I remember always being very surprised that people could get that worked up over such a thing. After decades of surfing the Web, I am far less so.
LTBF
March 7th, 2008 at 7:59 am [Reply]

I don’t have a problem with Anthony asking who was answering Liz’s phone. He was probably startled to have someone else answer. I know I wouldn’t be too happy if my almost finacee was entertaining a male guest late at night.
nerowolfgal
March 7th, 2008 at 7:59 am [Reply]

Apt 3G – Just checked out today’s 3G. The female blonde (never can remember her name) has reached deep into her soul and painted a bunch of celery rather than more flowers. This stunning development is featured on the cover of Art Review to the amazement of all.
Dr. Mabuse
March 7th, 2008 at 8:02 am [Reply]

FBOFW – Now Warren is answering Elizabeth’s phone – I guess he’ll be opening her mail next. LJ could have made it halfway plausible if she’d had elizabeth run to the can just before leaving the house, so Warren might conceivably be doing her a favour by picking up a call while she was busy, but we all know that Pattersons don’t excrete, so such a development was obviously unthinkable.
Dr. Mabuse
March 7th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

Correction: ADULT Pattersons don’t excrete. Robin never does anything else.
Niall
March 7th, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

It’s Whaaaaat?? Friday of incomprehensibility!

A3G: Blaze, like, totally acts jealous here. Subtext!

BB: For once, that insult was sufficiently high-level-worded. Then Sarge does the perfect spouse response. Subtext!

Blondie: Whaaaaat??

Curtis: Whaaaaat??

DtM: Whaaaaat?? He’s doing something that might be construed as menacing! Slightly!

DT: Bzzzzzzzzzzcrunch!

FC: Sibling revenge continues.

GT: Is.. is that a plot twist?? (Meaning there’s a plot??)

HtH: Whaaaaat??

H&L: Whaaaaat??

MT: No one, and I mean no one says that phone speech balloon “Thanks for what you did” non-ironically. Mark is such a complete thick-headed dunce he couldn’t sense it.

MW: Mary Worth is.. the new Eclipso!

MC: Bwahaha!! First, fun gag. Second, shows a darn good reason why Violet hates Norm. (Not that she needs a lot.) Third, it means Norm got his idea from somewhere, and he’s not alone… that’s scary.

Pluggers: Whaaaaat??

RMMD: It’s the return of Solar Flare Hair Mom!
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 8:16 am [Reply]

Okay, you’ve got me speculating on the origins of Mary Worth–thanks a lot!
My thought? She’s a Watcher who broke their non-interference code and got kicked out. Thing is, she enjoyed the interfering so much that she grew hair, came to earth, moved to Charterstone, and chose Dr. Jeff as her primary victim.

One thing I like about this origin is that it moves her strip into a continuity where we might get to see……MARY WORTH VERSUS GALACTUS!
Oh, my dough’s on Mary.
Godzooky
March 7th, 2008 at 8:34 am [Reply]

Uh, oh, looks like the blog gremlins have struck again:

- 3/7/08 MW and FC posted as 3/6/08
- “Opponent McHeadband’s jersy”

If only William Shatner had been around to sound the alert.

P.S. You’re probably right about the FW continuity error, but it can also be interpreted as #5 is bald (or has a high hairline), #8 has cornrows, and both wear headbands.
JaseFace
March 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

I’m not sure if someone has pointed this out already, but Mary’s quote, which she attributed to “a wise person,” was spoken by The Dalai Lama. But, you know. Wouldn’t want to offend those old Christians, who undoubtedly form the base of the only people who read Mary Worth in a non-ironic way.
man behind the curtain
March 7th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

MW — I guess we will be exposed to Mary’s advice through history like when she said to JFK “You need to get away from DC. A trip to Dallas will be good for you. And keep the top down You can use some fresh air.”
Gerund
March 7th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

FW: Uh-oh! A mention of mommy? The black girl’s mother had cancer, too, Summer!
doug rogers
March 7th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

More well drawn and comprehensible sports action in two days worth of Funky Winkerbean than we’ve ever seen in a quite a few years of Gil Thorp.
ConcreteQueen
March 7th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Comics artists are so lazy these days. They completely forgot to draw Mary’s halo.
Darkefang
March 7th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

A3G: The cover of this month’s Art Review features Lu Ann’s Guernica – Christmas Wreath Sur le Blanc.

Archie: Yeah, Archie’s late and wearing a disguise. I get that part. What I don’t get is why the strip is ignoring the stink lines trailing Archie’s pants. Maybe Archie should just be excused from school if he’s feeling the repercussions from last night’s Bean Burritopalooza.

MW: My compulsion to help others comes from the fact that I’m a meddling old biddy. Unfortunately, my husband is dead and my kids won’t talk to me, so I have no choice but to intrude on the lives of those who are forced to live in the same apartment building as me.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
March 7th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Archie: Though their eyesight is quite poor, the Weatherbee’s nose is quite keen, and it recognizes its prey by scent. This crafty Archie has tried to disguise his scent by rolling in a dung heap.

FC: At first, I was sad, because my comic’s punchline had no humor. Then I met a cartoon that had no punchline.

HotC: Between the bullwhipping here, waterboarding and rope bondage in Prickly City, chloroforming and abduction in (WT)DT, caging in Crock and recurrent dominatrix behavior in 9CL, there sure has been a lot of BDSM in the funny pages lately. Did I miss a memo?

MT: Mark looks like he’s driving a car, but the view out the windows makes it seem like he’s flying over the Dickens’ Chickens farm. Maybe he borrowed Mr. Weasley’s enchanted Ford Anglia. Nope, steering wheel’s on the wrong side.

Marvin: It’s time to play Spot the Six Differences with Marvin! 1.) Eyes 2) Sock lint 3) Smile 4) Hand 5) Elbow 6) The Marvin on the left makes me want to kill myself. The Marvin on the right makes me want to kill others.

MW: The ominous shadows on Mary’s face make me think we’re about to hear the legend of when she first offered her virgin body to Ba’al.

MC: I’d enjoy Maureen on a superficial level. If ya know what I mean.

Phantom: “Now, we just have to track down this ‘Gurkk’ fellow! Any ideas?”

SF: And we come full circle, still having no idea what Ted’s last job was. However, we can eliminate retail and farm implement sales.
iedit
March 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

Oh, gosh! Anthony might get the wrong idea now that Warren has picked up the phone. What an unexpected plot development! Goodness gracious, what will happen next?
Good god, Lynn, you really suck. Mail it in and call it day.
Joe, Upper-Evergreen Division of the Jungle Patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

FOOB: Who just drops in on an aquaintance then then answers their phone with the person standing there in front of them?!

Just when you think FBOFW can’t get any MORE ridiculous, it does.
Jimmy
March 7th, 2008 at 9:30 am [Reply]

I think Mary’s quote in panel two should have been “yea, though I walk into the shadow of the valley of death.” Can we hope?
Edgy DC
March 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Slapping the ball out of an opponents hands: Not a foul.

Using two players two make a cranial sandwich of brain-damaging force on the ball-handler: Big foul.
Bryan
March 7th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

#51: “MARY WORTH VERSUS GALACTUS!”

I can just see Mary giving bad advice to a weeping Galactus: “The Ultimate Nullifier can’t hurt you! You’re Galactus, for crying out loud!”

Other people Mary has advised:
Hitler: “Don’t worry, you can take the Soviets! They’re pussies! The invasion will be over long before winter.”
Churchill: “You should land troops at Gallipoli.”
Lord Dalhousie: “The sepoys aren’t going to care if their bullets are greased with animal fat!”
Robert
March 7th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

The Keene household is in deep trouble. Daddy Keene has revealed himself as a witch, what with that black broom skirt he’s got on. A witch, or a transvestite. Well more of a transvestite.
AtomicDog of The Narcoterror Patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

“Can’t sleep, Foob will eat me…”
gkl
March 7th, 2008 at 9:48 am [Reply]

GA: Sturdivant Kleeb? Did Scancarelli steal the AJGLU 3000 and reprogram it to spit out nonsensical names? (And if so, is “evil” far behind?)

MW: There’s a total meddler eclipse in progress. I think this is a clue that she’s going to flash back to the time she told the Moon that it needs to start revolving around the Earth.

Of course, if she’d done that, the Moon probably would have wound up crashing into the Sun, but on the other hand, there’s still time. Mary Worth, Planet-Eater, will not be denied!
PattyCake
March 7th, 2008 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy, please bear in mind that structuring transactions in small amount to avoid a Currency Transaction Report can be a violation of federal law, and can result in a Suspicious Activity Report submitted to the depository financial institution’s regulator.

PattyCake is an ordinary citizen, and neither a law firm, nor a substitute for an attorney’s advice, nor a legal referral service.

By using PattyCake’s comment, you are agreeing that under no circumstances will PattyCake, her heirs or assigns, be responsible for (1) any information contained on or omitted from the comment(s), (2) any person’s reliance on any such information, whether or not the information is correct, current or complete, (3) the consequences of any action you or any other person takes or fails to take, whether or not based on information provided by or as a result of the use of the comment(s). PattyCake also has no responsibility for (4) any person’s satisfaction with any comment, whether relating to the comment’s competence, diligence, or otherwise (5) the results of any advice given by or representation from any comment, or (6) the failure or refusal of PattyCake to respond or consult to you.
Patrick
March 7th, 2008 at 9:53 am [Reply]

I can’t remember who already said this, but I now also think that the artist/writer for Mary Worth reads CC and is messing with us. If this goes into flashback mode, cue up the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars. MW’s words about kindness are always uttered with her face in the true darkness of her sepulchral heart.
Patrick
March 7th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

#62: Mary Worth IS the Shadow of the Valley of Death.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 7th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

3/7

FC: As Jeff Keane once said, “Show don’t tell? What in God’s name does that mean?”

MW: “Mysterious rash of chain reaction vomiting breaks up Charterstone pool party. Film at 11.”

Luann: Gene Simmons? Sure, just spring for the tongue extension.

Lockhorns: At first I didn’t realize the bar had a flatscreen Tv, and I thought the bartender was throwing a hot potatio into the crowd.

SFx: Man, Kid Rock has really gone downhill.

Archie: This would be a good one for “Archie without Archie.”

MC: Sweet. I’m AFKAB, and I approve this “My Cage.”

S4th: Maybe Ted can ghost write the sequel to “Stone Season.” Just keep adding “eh” after every line of dialogue.

6C: Looks like the extra strength body shaper can also make you fart pretty bad.

GT: In all of Big Ray’s absentee fatherhood, this is the first time any of the kids have been hurt? By what miracle?

Ghost Who…: “When it comes to playa hatas, Phantom don’t play.” Old jungle saying.

Shoe: “Broke? Okay, my secretary can show you out.”

HtH: Oh, so Snert stayed late at the Walking Upright School.

JP: It’s good to know that somewhere in the Multiverse, Aldo lives. And he knows about chickens.

MT: “It’s always good to get back home to your family,” he said with a trunk full of axes and lime.

Blondie: Is this from one of the Blondie scripts that Samuel Beckett wrote in the sixties? “Waiting for the Marianis.”
Perky Bird
March 7th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

# 33 AndThe:

“Bitten by a radioactive shrew”–Hahahaha! I love it!

I volunteer at the Small Mammal House at the National Zoo, and we have some new tree shrew babies. If one is a girl, I will now plead with the keepers to name her “Mary”!
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 7th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Whatever Mark Trail is steering/piloting (car? plane? refrigerator box with windows cut into it?), you can be sure that it has a bumper sticker: “Dog is my co-pilot.”

Go, Andy, go!
Joe, Upper-Evergreen Division of the Jungle Patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 10:13 am [Reply]

The FBOFW Coffee-glarg has been besieged by angry, panicky Lizthony lovers for the past three days. I swear to God, these people don’t seem to understand that these are not real people, they are just Lynn’s desired version of reality.

Fuckin’ Foobs.
Moonbeam McSwine
March 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

29 Zaq and 44 nerowolfgal: Nice! I can’t believe I didn’t see the Genji parallels before. But Liz’s masculine features and Mike’s feminine ones—and let’s not forget their passivity—also call to mind Torikaebaya monogatari. I had no idea Lynn was so well versed in the Japanese classics.
Shoshi
March 7th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

#8–Ha! I can’t believe I didn’t put 2 and 2 together regarding the anti-pilot spin!! Yes, a previously nice-seeming guy turns out to be a jerk…hmm.

The ironic(!) part is that it is *she* who was always “flying away” to some gig or other to do with her famous cartoonist lifestyle. So perhaps Warren represents Lynn, Liz represents her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Rod, and Anthony represents the woman he left Lynn for???

This turn-about would also explain why she represents the GTA as boring. In real life, she found small town life boring and missed the big city.

So she turns herself on her head and writes it up in a strip, as some form of penance, apparently.

Is anyone following my logic here? :-)
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 7th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

#34 gleeb,
I had the same thought about Mallard, but probably wouldn’t have worded it as well.
Alley (not Allie) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

#14, Farley’s Revenge:
When exactly was Warren a “decent, honorable young man”? The time he was with Elizabeth at Weed’s party and openly lusted after the photos of models? When he never said a word about Paul cheating on Elizabeth but instead let her just walk into that situation, all the while thinking about himself and how he was going to benefit? I think his selfish behavior right now is actually entirely consistent.
Buck Ripsnort
March 7th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

#51–Yeah, MARY WORTH VS GALACTUS
“Norrin Rad, you go right up to that giant planet-eater and volunteer as herald, capisce? It’s for your own planet’s good, it’s a good job w/ benefits, you get a nice silver suit out of it, and every day you get to go surfing!”
Sarah Marie
March 7th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

FOOB: So that’s why no guys are banging down my door – I don’t have the frumpy school marm look going on. Guess I need a makeover. :p
JunGabe Patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Farley’s Revenge: I disagree. Michael was always an asshole. I never read it in the early days, and the hybrid shows he was an insufferable brat. I started reading around his pre-teen years, where he annoyed me, through his teen years where he was a complete obnoxious asshole. Then he grew up into a sanctimonious, pretentious asshole.

Liz however, I used to really like.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Guess I should change my name back on this computer. The patrol seems to have passed.
MikeO
March 7th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Introducing…

The Comics Curmudgeon Snark Generator!

Mary Worth – She’s a busy body! Full of useless platitudes! Haha!

Funky Winterbean – Everyone is miserable! Haha!

Apt. 3g – Margot is a bitch! I secretly like this strip! Haha!

Rex Morgan – Rex is boring! Rex is gay! Haha!

Gil Thorp – The art makes no sense! (redacted 02/08) The story makes no sense! Haha!

Marmaduke – Marmaduke exhibits monstrous, nasty behavior! Haha!

Dennis the Menace – Not really a menace! Haha!

Beetle Bailey – Beetle and Sarge are gay! Haha!

Cathy/Marvin/Garfield/etc… – They are just phoning it in and repeating the same joke ad nauseum! Haha!

For Better or for Worse – I criticize the characters actions like a fan yet claim to not like it! Ha…ha?

Feels to me like Comics Curmudgeon the blog shares distinct similarities with the stale comics it criticizes.
Mrs. Cutout
March 7th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Oh, to have the problem Liz apparently has…to have TWO men fighting for her Foobian wonderfulness! Well, if you call Anthony a man. Anyway, the plot thickens. FOOB is becoming the comics version of Passions. All we need is an actual witch!

P.S. I do NOT watch Passions anymore.
Professor Fate
March 7th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

FOOB: Many have noted the absurdness of Warren taking the call but isn’t after 10 pm (closer to 11 you would think) a tad late for the Bland one to be calling? He’s the kind of person you expet to be all tucked in by 10 pm with his feety pajamas – not calling his beloved to say I wuw u at 11.

Well maybe he’s just keeping his hand in from his old staking days.
Paul1963
March 7th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

#27–No, the laziest Family Circus ever was the one with Dolly pointing at the VCR, with the caption, “The VCR keeps blinkin’ 12:00!”

Perhaps the composition of today’s FC is a nod to those papers that will drop a strip over anything even slightly off-color (like the word “sucks,” or an image of a three-year-old picking his nose)–and there’s an alternate caption. Like:
“It doesn’t matter what kind–just say ‘cheese!’”
No, wait, someone might actually find that one funny. How about:
“Okay, now one with your eyes open.”
Yeah, that’s nice and safe and almost humor-free…
Shoshi
March 7th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

#61–Clearly it is a deliberate action on Warren’s part, as is his saying “the OTHER guy you’re seeing” so that the caller can hear him. He’s just a much bigger jerk than anyone knew, though we *should* have realized when he was feeling horny about the naked photographic models. Anyone who’d have THOSE kinds of thoughts is obviously a sex maniac who would stop at nothing to destroy Liz’s relationship to get in her pants.
fishmorgjp
March 7th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

83 MikeO: That’s right, nobody should say mean things about these great comics, moo moo moo.
JP (not Judge Parker)
March 7th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

RMMD: This is the first time I’ve seen Niki’s mom before. That’s cool she’s a glam rocker.

Phantom: I’m sure the word “roughneck” is relevant in the lives of jungle dwellers.
AhClem
March 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

Early Mary Worth advice:

“You know, God, if you make the sun on the first day, you’ll be able to better see what you’re doing for the rest of the week.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 7th, 2008 at 11:11 am [Reply]

#85 Professor Fate

Well maybe he’s just keeping his hand in from his old staking days.

Granthony used to hunt vampires? Now there’s the story Lynn should have been telling!
Laura c
March 7th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

I think “If you keep the lights on, they never shut up!” would be a good t-shirt.
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

MW – It just keeps getting better. Or worse. I just can’t make my mind up on that one.
Dear God, psychoanalysis with Mary. “Let me tell you about the time right before ~~I killed my husband~~ my dear husband died…”
Randall
March 7th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Luann : GS…GS…’Gayest Strip’? Remember how Brad didn’t react from Tiffany’s flirting? Maybe his whole thing with Toni is really a gambit to see her ruff sex ex boyfriend? Thats why he can’t seem to hook up with her, he really wants the badboy who punched him!
Shoshi
March 7th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

#85–Perhaps it was going to be a very *special* late-night conversation, that could take place after one is already tucked in.
Gypsymoth
March 7th, 2008 at 11:27 am [Reply]

MW: As the sun slowly sets on Mary, so begins the reflections of meddlings from the past.
Helena Handbasket
March 7th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

#80: My mom-bun brings all the boys to the yard…
Zaq
March 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

75 Moonbeam: “The shining Inevithony was dead, and it seemed that no one could take his place…”

I just realized another parallel: Genji didn’t actually want to marry the Third Princess, but her parents basically forced him into it, remember? They viewed Genji as the perfect husband for her, to give her some backing, and also, well, he’s Genji, and everyone wants a piece of Genji (despite the fact that really, he’s kind of a douche)… but it was mostly the Third Princess’s family that got her involved with Genji. Sound familiar?

Dude! If Inevithony’s Genji, Warren’s Kashiwagi, and Liz is the Third Princess, does that make Therese Lady Rokujo?
javaphil
March 7th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

Anthony finds out about Warren staying at Liz’s? Wow. I did not see that one coming. Next you’re going to tell me that Lucy won’t actually let Charlie Brown kick the ball.
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

HtH – Haha, Snert gets more nooky than Hagar does.

RM – Well, um, frazzle-head, you could have called Niki too.

MT – at the rate that Andy is slobbering all over Mark’s back, that car should be submerged in no time.

FC – “Take your finger out of your nose, asshole, and the other hand out of your pants.”
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

#83 – First Amendment (of the US Constitution), Sweetie Darling. First Amendment.
Professor Fate
March 7th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

91

sorry – we is a tad dislexic so sometimes stupid (but funny) things like that happen when I type

It’s not quite dislexia – it’s more like I don’t always catch the middle of a word or sentances when I look at them – some sort of brain misfire I’m told – for example: one time I was walking past a chruch and I swear the banner said “annoy the poor service 11 am” – So I stopped shook my head and looked again. This time the banner read “Annoint the poor service 11 am.” Which made more sense.

Still Blandthony Caine Vampire Slayer has a bit of ring to it. Maybe that’s why he called. He’s going to quit the accountancy bit and go fight creatures of the night. (anything’s better than the real story)
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

Geez, MikeO, complete the troll!

Mark Trail: Ha ha, all the villians have facial hair! And hey, that random animal has a dialogue balloon!

Judge Parker: Look, boobs!

9ChickWeedLane: Ha ha, this strip is pretentious!

Herb and Jamaal: Ha ha! They speak of current events in generic terms!

Archie: It’s funny if we imagine a computer wrote it!

My Cage and Sally Forth: Ha ha! We pretend to like them because we know the writers read this blog!

Slylock Fox: Ha ha! I’m going to point out the differences using obtuse non observable things!

Geez, half ass trolls these days, gotta do half their work for them…grumble grumble…
Ces
March 7th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

A 25-year-old “Sally Forth” mystery is finally resolved tomorrow:

http://francescoexplainsitall.blogspot.com/2008/03/he-does-what-for-living.html

Ooo, the tension’s so thick you can cut it with a butter stick.
Uncle Lumpy
March 7th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

#52 Godzooky –

Dates fixed, thanks!
Niall
March 7th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

83. MikeO: Thank you for the constructive and humorous criticism of the snarking done by many people here. On reflection, I guess a little more variety could be of use. You made it much more interesting that saying “you guys suck and aren’t funny” like some Anonymouses of past. I’ll try to say something different than the obvious.

88. fishmorgjp: I don’t think that was the poster’s intent – it was more to say that we shouldn’t constantly keep saying the same things about the same comics every day, which is different than saying nothing about them.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Heh, and Ces posts right after me….

(FTR I actually do like Sally Forth and MC. The day I can’t make fun of Ted’s tiny hands and girlish demeanor’s a day I don’t want to read the funnies).
Sugar and Spike
March 7th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

gwabnosh ooglefarg*

Funky Winkerbean: The ref made the correct call. The dyke got all ball, so there is indeed no foul.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Niall, I think the question is why the fuck do we owe anything to MikeO? Are we wasting his hard earned money on substandard snark?

I will happy refund him all internet dollars owed for not living up to his snark standards.
Zaq
March 7th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

I have long contended that Sally Forth is one of the most forward-thinking strips in the paper for showing a happily married lesbian couple.

You’re not going to convince me that Ted has a Y chromosome. Sorry. Love her anyway, but she’s all woman.
Batman Beatles
March 7th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

FC: When Calvin and Hobbes did the whole Calvin-won’t-sit-still-for-a-picture thing, it was actually funny. This? Not so much.
indrifan
March 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

Maybe MikeO is a disgruntled font fan who came over from the site Mr. O’Malley linked to.

Am I the only one who thought that the older daughter in Preteena today was wearing chaps?

59 SSB – I may steal your FC comment for one of my email sig lines.
Niall
March 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

101. Calico: I’ll disagree with that interpretation of the First Amendment, but any further discussion of that topic would go to the Cockpit section of the forum… if I had a forum account. And can’t get one while at work, I’m sure, because of a need to validate the account from an email I can’t access from work either… but I think I’ll create one tonight and post there about various questions I’ve had on that particular topic. People here are generally intelligent and do their research that I might get a good debate on it. :)

102. Professor Fate: …once again the old net chestnut of “making a typo when discussing a typo” comes in, proving your very point. :) Calling a church a “chruch”, pronounced “crutch”, might not be the social message you were trying to convey. :) :) :)

103. Gabe: Actually, I only like the occasional Sally Forth strip – most of the time it leaves me cold. :) However, perhaps we spend time on it because we feel we might get the strip to improve through immediate feedback, which I believe is the core wish and point of the blog; so that should never change. My favourite snarkers manage to be varied and are funny as hell, by not just iterating the obvious but making a further reference or interesting comparison.

109. Gabe: I’d like to think if someone is making a reasonable effort to point a possible weakness in the blog, we can be nice and, if the weakness is only perceived, point out the weakness in his own argument. After all, he provided a name, a link and was humorously sarcastic – something we all like to be and do. He wasn’t a troll, like the Anonymouses saying “you’re not funny” and not saying why. If we get in a tiff with absolutely anyone who is even the least critical of us, some might get the impression we have a thin skin about our hobby. Which I know is not the case. We’re just passionate, like many people are about hobbies (goodness knows I am passionate and even geeky about mine). I don’t even think of it in terms of “owing” anything. But maybe that’s just me. :)
commodorejohn
March 7th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

9CL – This is the funniest 9 Chickweed Lane has been in weeks. Why doesn’t Brooke do these comically exaggerated expressions more often? He’s good at them.

BB – Oh come on. He knows what abstract expressionism is, but he can’t tell when he’s being wordily insulted?

Crankshaft – So tell me this: how come Batiuk has apparently decided that the alteration of Daylight Savings Time is an Important Issue worthy of a week of lame, unfunny ponderings?

DT – But…I…er…uh…oh hell, I give up. There’s no way this will ever make sense.

FOOB – Aaaand here we go again. He could’ve stayed at a motel, but he didn’t, so he’s obviously Out To Get Into Liz’s Pants, big surprise. This is, of course, not nearly complete enough of a hatchet job, so something else is going to happen next week, probably requiring Anthony to deliver another improbably powerful punch so that the readers will swoon for him – ‘cuz, you know, he’s so noble and righteous and FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

FW – Huh? Interesting action focusing on likeable characters in Funky Winkerbean? Did I wake up in a parallel universe this morning? Is True Fable going to be expressing affection for sheep?

HTH – Snert procreated.

HOTC – Preach it, Dean.

H&L – Proof that I am a total dork: I first looked at the package Lois was holding and, reasoning that it’s too large for a DVD, figured that in Walker-Browneland they’ve figured out how to fit a movie on a 7″ record. Hmm, you never know…

MF – You know, I’m not a historian, but I was under the impression that the fall of the Roman Empire had a lot more to do with rampant corruption, shitty economic policies, and invading barbarians than it did with poor education (such as education even was back then.) But then again, what do I know? I just read history, I don’t make it up.

MT – Is this another plane with a steering wheel? It looks an awful lot like he’s approaching his house from the air; is that a cloud on the left?

MW – Toby, the actual truth is probably more along the lines of “she has existed since the beginning of the universe as a physical embodiment of meddle.”

MC – Hah, awesome.

SM – Alfred E. Neuman!?
nerowolfgal
March 7th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

98 Zak – “Dude! If Inevithony’s Genji, Warren’s Kashiwagi, and Liz is the Third Princess, does that make Therese, Lady Rokujo?”

Oh dear god I hope so! And this time let her angry spirit attack every Patterson. Just think of them fading away, NOT eating, too weak to even be self righteous…….
Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Nutrition Division
March 7th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

I too must say to MikeO:

Thank you, thank you. Thanks to you the scales have fallen from my eyes. My snark henceforth shall be much more thoughtful and insightful. You truly have helped a blind man see. Nevermore will I contemplate the pleasure that I would have to see, for example: Anthony and Liz consumating their marriage vows in the Conjugal Visit trailer of the prison where Anthony is incarcerated.

I have turned over a new leaf. I will endeavour to do better. I hope that my snark will rise to your lofty expectations. After all, if everyone here on the intertubes were to do a little more for his fellow man (or woman), the world would be a better place.
Musicfan
March 7th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Seeing today’s FBoFW strip with Warren randomly picking up the phone would anger me severely if I could just get up the energy to care enough. The only way that this mind-numbingly stupid “plot twist” could get interesting is if Warren and Anthony fight to the bloody death, or if tomorrow’s strip shows Anthony simply saying “I know what you did last summer…” or “What’s your favorite horror movie?” Anything that would result in the majority of characters dying.
indrifan
March 7th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

113 Niall (and 101 Calico) – Niall, you’re right about the first amendment – it covers government action, not private action (” … shall make no law …” and so on). Also, MikeO wasn’t saying someone should stop us from posting the same things over and over – only that we’re lame for doing so.

But to paraphrase Dr. Johnson, work must be gotten through somehow.

As for the forums, I think Josh has to manually approve requests for logins, so even if you request one tonight you might not be able to log in until after he gets back from wherever he is.

JP Where did all the chickens go? Even if it’s just a front, you’d think they’d keep a couple around.
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

#113 – Our first Am is the conundrum of the last 200+ years. ‘Nuff said on that.

Is there an extra registration process to enter/join the Different Discussions part of the CC Forum? : )
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#109 Gabe –

Now, now. Just because Spider-Man hasn’t watched TV all week and left us with nothing, nothing, do you hear me?! to say is no reason to get testy. Take a deep, cleansing breath and go read (WT)DT where it’s business as usual. As usual. Well, except instead of the governor being kidnapped in a big ol’ mansion, it’s a bunch of other people (not governors!) kidnapped in a big ol’ mansion, which frankly is about all the change I can process before the room starts spinning.
Batman Beatles
March 7th, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

In the Simpsons, the comics book guy said he had a rare Mary Worth were she urges someone to commit suicide.

That would really shake things up.
Earl and Mooch
March 7th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

When Warren showed up, I could relate to him. I’d been in his shoes in terms of a relationship and all. (I hope my reason for drifting away and bolting right back was better than his, though.) Yesterday and today, though, really has me wondering what exactly he thinks he can accomplish here.
Martingirl
March 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

#78–Alley Cat: Actually, when Liz first met Warren he was the one who was supposed to “show Elizabeth that there were still kind men” after the Eric fiasco.
They met when Warren volunteered to check in one of Liz’s suitcases on the bus because she was over the limit. And he even had pictures of his neice and nephew that he pulled out to show her when they started talking on the bus.

Warren was made into the bad guy to essentially get rid of Paul and cause *surprise tension* into the inevitable smashup of Lizthony.
Trogdor
March 7th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Foob: Sexual misunderstandings and ensuing hijinks. Cue the Three’s Company music. IT was farcical then; it’s triply so now.

Luann: So Brad’s going to try and impress Toni with the fact that he’s a Girl Scout. Misunderstandings; wacky hijinks to follow; a totally passive character who just lets things happen to him and never actually does anything, bitching constantly about how he wishes he had that special someone; a potentially attractive mate being inexplicably attracted to him. Brad has become Liz Patterson!

Sally Forth: Can Ted possibly become an even bigger loser than he already is? Tune in tomorrow to find out.
Artist formerly known as Ben
March 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

#102 Prof Fate,
Oh please, I make typos all the time. (Damn lack of spellcheck.)) Yours just had some haha potential. Damn, the whole strip could get better. Imagine, April finally goes roadside with Gerald. Happiness makes him lose his soul and revert to evil Geraldus.

106 Niall,
You’re disabling MikeO with the arcane Canadian art of polite-fu? Nice!
Allie (not Alley) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

I would love for the following to be the opening line of Mary’s flashback down memory lane:

“I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi.”

But what are the odds?

I would also like for Anthony to come over to Liz’s house in a jealous rage and chainsaw Warren and Liz to a pulp.

But again, what are the odds.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Niall: Maybe if MikeO began posting insightful, fresh snark he’d have more of a point. Just seems to me the complainers come out during Lumpy’s subs. I agree it was a bit more clever than U GUYZ SUK AT KOMEDY, but really, listing common observations is quality snark? Ooh, I’m snarkin’ in my boots.
Paperback Rifler
March 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

I don’t have anything to say about Constitutional rights at this juncture. My daily snark, likewise, looks to be sadly lacking. All that’s left is odds and ends:

Today, I am concluding my Apartment 3-G experiment to see whether Apartment 3-G is made any better by replacing the dialogue with lines from Shakespeare. I think that this final installment proves with absolute certainty that doing so might improve the strip, or perhaps not:

March 7 — from Othello

Panel 1
Blaze: I understand a fury in your words, but not the words.
Alan: ‘Tis neither her nor there.

Panel 2
Blaze: I am not merry; but I do beguile the thing I am, by seeming otherwise.

Panel 3
Blaze: Here is my butt.

And, as an unrelated item, I’m pretty sure that the following advice for ex-pilot Warren is the sort of thing that comes about when one hasn’t been getting enough sleep. Apologies to REO Speedwagon, to fans of “Take It On the Run” by REO Speedwagon, and to everybody everywhere:

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another that you’re back in Milb’rough.
You quit work and took this trip
To woo Liz and her big hips;
But getting with Pattersons will just bring you woe.

Before you took the leap,
You should have known that Liz prefers pasty creeps
Who have stalked her since long, long ago.
Now, I’m telling you, bud,
Just do what’s good for you, bud;
And leave frumpy Liz with her flabby beau.

You take it on the run, Warren;
Leave Lizzie and her bun, Warren.
Fly yourself right outta town.
Free yourself at last
From Lizzie’s big ass;
You’re dumber than dung if you don’t cut out and run . . .

You thought you’d make yourself clear
By leaving home and your career;
You gave it up for Lizzie like all Foob men would.
You thought you would roll the dice,
But now you’re just a plot device
To make Blandthony Caine look good.

You take it on the run, Warren;
Leave Lizzie and her bun, Warren.
Maybe fly to Vietnam . . .
Run or you will find
That you’ll be maligned;
You’re dumber than dung if you don’t cut out and run . . .

Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from a friend who
Heard it from another that you’re back in Milb’rough.
Uncle Lumpy
March 7th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

MikeO #83 -
fishmorgjp #88 -
Calico #101 -
Gabe #103, #109 -
Niall #106, #113 -

If the comics we mock don’t change, must the mockery itself grow stale? That’s an interesting question!

Please keep in mind, though:
Insults to me, Josh, or this blog: perfectly OK!
Insults to other commenters — bye!

I’ve started a thread for hurling invective and abuse at one another over in the forum. Please do keep it civil here, though.
Hank
March 7th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

RE: FOOB, 122, etc.. Not a big surprise here, but Warren is obviously being retroactively characterized as a manipulative asshole womanizer in yet another attempt by Lynn to make Anthony look “good.”

You know, maybe Lynn should just turn Anthony into a crusading nature activist who hangs out in a forest and fights crime. At least then it might make sense that he keeps having to bring in “the fist of justice.”
glutton4punishment
March 7th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

My name says it all. Why oh why do I continue reading Foob? It’s that same morbid curiosity people have about the latest news on Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Has Britney had another nervous breakdown? Is Lindsay in rehab again? Will Liz and Anthony end up together no matter how many old “boyfriends” come to town to try and win Liz back in the middle of the night? AARGH!!
Kurdt
March 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

I was trying to think of a polite response to Mr. MikeO. I was going to use the standard, if you don’t like it here then don’t come, but I like GO SIT ON A TACK YOU WHINER a lot better.

Keep on snarkin’ you lovely people you. :)
Perky Bird
March 7th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

Paperback Rifler–

I am loving me some Shakespearean A3G!! I am in awe of your talent.
Gabacho
March 7th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

#96 Gypsymoth and Mary Worth

MW: As the sun slowly sets on Mary, so begins the reflections of meddlings from the past.

I too have been very frightened this week that we are in for a flashback episode.

I have always ~~hated~~ loved Mary Worth because I thought it was non ironically dreadful, like the Isabelle Dalhousie novels, where neither the author nor the protagonist seem to realize what an astonishingly awful human being she is.

When the author has a clue, it’s important that the character doesn’t. For example Lucia and Mapp, Ann Landers, Gladys Kravitz or Jessica Fletcher, never know they are busybodies. The really think they are respected for what they do.

At the bottom of the heap is the character who knows she is a meddler. Roseanne played that character very well but I can’t think of any others who did.

I don’t Mary Worth has the ovaries to pull off the role so my love/hate with her will probably diminish to mere boredom by next week.

I am off to mourn.
DAS
March 7th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

The Mary Worth origin story will be ripped off from the sequence of flashbacks in this here moving picture thingie I saw once.

Except instead of telling of a Sicilian who moved to America, it’ll tell of a New England WASP who moved to whichever bland suburb Charterstone is in.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 7th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Why do a have a feeling that tomorrow Mark Trail is going to come home to a massacred family? Or at least an empty house?
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 7th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

Today’s Over the Hedge: “Let’s call himm ‘Steve.’ It’s a pretty name!” Is that a reference to Steve Carrell, who voiced that character in the movie?

By the way, I never hear Over the Hedge being talked about here, so I assume people don’t know about it. It’s a really good comic. Yeah, I know it was made into a stupid pixar movie, but the comic really isn’t much like the movie at all. It actually has some deep themes mixed up with goofy drawings. I freaking love the squirrel, Hammy. It’s definitely worth checking out.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I was trying to watch myself on the attacks, Unca Lumpy. I hope my critisicsm on the critic wasn’t over the line. Trolls make me testy.

And I forgot one:

Luan: Ha ha! It should be called “Brad” cause Luann’s never in it! Ha ha! Incest!

I’m sure there’s more.
Moss_Moses
March 7th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth’s background in meddling is really something she was born with, although she has honed her skills through years of minding other peoples’ business. If she had to work for a living like most other people, she wouldn’t have so much ilde time for “advising”. Her former husband (who apparently was a fucking cheapskate, based on the ChiComm swans he gave her) left her with enough money to support her “comfortable” lifestyle. She has moved twice in the many years I’ve been reading the strip, first from Ohio to New York City, then from NYC to Santa Royale. I think she lived in the same make-believe NYC that the 3G inhabitants reside in, based on the totally inaccurate portrayal of it in the strip. Santa Royale is way more true to life.
Gabe
March 7th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

To directly answer the charge: Yes, sometimes the snark can be repetitive here. Chalk a lot of it up to a lot of people here don’t really read all the comments and just come here to post their vent, not knowing if it’s already been covered here. Also there’s this thing called “running jokes” which tight knit groups of people tend to develop. Nature of the beast. If you don’t think there’s any quality, new snark coming out of these comments, then you’re not reading it closely enough. I too, see the same one line snark over and over, and then I’ll also see something so new and funny that I literally LOL.

So there.
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

#129 Uncle Lumpy –

Insults to me, Josh, or this blog: perfectly OK!

Oooo! Oooo! Me first. Um, OK. Call yourself lumpy? I’ve seen Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation lumpier than you!

How’s that?
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

86. Paul1963: I like your “safe” FC captions. I told Mr. bats :[ that I was NOT going to do his take on Big Daddy with the camera: “That’s very nice, Jeffy. Now put it back and zip up your pants.”
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
March 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

#83 MikeO – I don’t care if I’m stale, I’m not getting payed to share my “humor” with the world =P.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 7th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

Well, dang. If LJ keeps setting ‘em up, I’ll keep knocking ‘em down:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2316397013/
AirForbes
March 7th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

MW: I think the shadow cast over Mary’s face is supposed to presage a flashback to her dark past, hopefully one full of mayhem and misdeeds.

Nah, we’ll probably just find out that her mother or grandmother taught her everything she knows about meddling.
El Santo
March 7th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Summer Moore … I love you. I guess I got a thing for girls who get all up in your grill like that. Sexy.
Superfecta
March 7th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

FOOB: We all agree Warren answering the phone was bizarre, but why does he then assume that the man on the other end must be Liz’s beloved? Does she have no other male friends, or is such a concept so far beyond Lynne’s grasp? Could it not have just as easily been Mike announcing another gay porn novel?
Godzooky
March 7th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

#105 UL: One more gremlin to stomp: “jersey.”
blueberrygrrrl
March 7th, 2008 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Just want to say I thought MikeO’s comment was actually quite funny and appropriate.

FBoFW: Liz’s basement apartment is drawn so wrong. Everything is all straight and square (hmm) and industrial-designy. No odd, mismatched furniture or dinged up cabinets. The acoustic tile ceiling, especially, makes it look as though she’s living in a medical office. If it were the psychiatric ward, things might start to make sense in this strip.
Crooked Soricidae
March 7th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

My God! Lynn is a plagiarist. Check out the the first panel.
The Evidence!!!<
Alley (not Allie) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

#123 Martingirl: It almost sounds as if Warren was a nice guy when he met Liz and has slowly evolved into more and more of a jerk over time. Is exposure to Liz the equivalent of exposure to some insidious environmental toxin??
Hal Jordan
March 7th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

Obviously I’m in the minority here, but I thought #83 MikeO’s comment was funny. Yes, he was poking fun at our comments (snarking the snark), but that’s why it was funny!

Don’t take things so personal.. Just chuckle at the wit and move on.

Pluggers: Those anthropomorphic chickens are endearingly blue -collar HaHa!

Damn! Blueberrygrrrl beat me to it while I was deciding how to spell “anthropomorphic”
Gagott68
March 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

MW: Of course, the “wise person” she’s quoting is Mary herself. I know that most credit the Dalai Lama with the quote but I’m sure that he stole that from Mary.

Luann: Maybe Brad thinks that wearing the Girl Scouts badge will tap into Toni’s latent lesbian tendencies. Naturally, Brad will just ask to watch.

FOOB: I think ya’ll got this one covered today.

S4th: I think that after a series of unfulfilling jobs and a thwarted novel, Ted will end it all by immolating himself and taking Ralph with him.

MT: “It’s always good to get home to your family”…but after 2 days I’ll be longing for the next long drawn out trip away where I can be shot at, strafed and spooned by a bear. I’m just glad I live in a community where my word is all that it takes to acquit a man with a screepy moustache and have a man with brain cancer convicted.
Girl Reporter
March 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

I agree with blueberrygrrrl, MikeO’s comment WAS funny and true. And if we can dish out the snark on Mary, et al, we should be able to take it, too.

I choose to believe he was laughing *with* us.
Stan
March 7th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

#52
It could also be Opponent McHeadband’s twin sister, Adversary!
I enjoy the snarks, and I truly wish I was better at it. If the comics don’t change, why should the snarks?
Islamorada Girl
March 7th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

I feel it is my duty to warn you all that Saturday’s MW foreshadows a flashback into the origins of the Meddling One.
Gagott68
March 7th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

Luann: Do TJ and Gunther shop at the same plaid shirt store?
Girl Reporter
March 7th, 2008 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Of course, if MikeO shows up at my house late tonight and answers the phone when I’m standing right there and calls Mr. Girl Reporter the other man in my life so that Mr. Girl Reporter can hear it on the other end of the line, well then, he needs a visit to the office of Cock, P.I., I daresay.
kingklash
March 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

Hey, will this be a flashback to where Mary talked somebody into committing suicide? Or, will it be more than that?
unclelumpy
March 7th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

#148 godzooky –

Re: “jersy” for “jersey”: fixed!

And a sincere thank you for reading what I post, so I don’t have to. It’s a valuable service, and if you ever hold a fund-raiser, I hope you’ll let me know!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 7th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

#130 Hank:

You know, maybe Lynn should just turn Anthony into a crusading nature activist who hangs out in a forest and fights crime.

Hank, I misread your post as “…maybe Lynn should just turn Anthony into a crusading naturist who hangs out in a forest and fights crime.” I’m really enjoying the prospect of Anthony busting out his fists o’ justice in all his pear-shaped, squab chested glory.

#144 bats :[
Wonderful, wonderful! The Anvil and The Man-Gland… truly establishments of quality for the discriminating young men of Foob! Either that, or a great name for a band or crime-fighting duo.

#129 Uncle Lumpy: I now hurl at thee the best taunt from my youth: You need Scope in your butt! Ha HA!
Perky Bird
March 7th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Actually, take a closer look at Anthony in today’s FOOB. (No, no, not panel two, that’s Liz–Anthony is in panel 4.)

It looks like when Anthony calls Liz, he is already in his stripey pajamas and sitting on the edge of his bed (that is a headboard behind him, right?). And where is his other hand? Judging by these clues, I think someone had it right earlier when they suggested Anthony was hoping for a little phone sex with the Golden Vagina.

Maybe now he’ll just turn on the speakerphone and let Warren join in….
blueberrygrrrl
March 7th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

#152 Hal, no worries, good spelling is always appreciated!
Perky Bird
March 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

#162 (Me): Oops! Actually, Anthony is in panel three! Now even I am confused!
Girl Reporter
March 7th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

From today’s Dear Abby column. Perhaps Mary Worth isn’t so farfetched after all:

WOMAN BOLDLY GOES WHERE NEIGHBORS SHOULDN’T TREAD

DEAR ABBY: When our real estate agent was showing us our house three years ago, the woman who lives next door walked into the back yard where we were standing to introduce herself. After we moved in, she knocked on our door one night carrying dinner for the two of us. It seemed like a neighborly gesture. We responded with a thank-you note.

Over the next few days, food would be laid at our door, always with a Post-It note saying, “From Bea.” Soon she asked us to take care of her cats and plants while she went out of town for a week. We asked if she would reciprocate when we were away — she agreed.

After we returned from our trip, a woman I hardly knew came up to me at the market and said, “I LOVE your home! I can’t believe you even have contrasting piping on the lining of your drawers!” Apparently, Bea had taken her on a tour of our house in our absence. When I told Bea I didn’t appreciate it, she got angry with the woman for telling me!

Over the summer, I noticed Bea going quickly from place to place in the neighborhood with a smirk on her face. Without asking, she would take her lawn mower and mow people’s yards when she felt the grass was too high. Once she tried to encourage me to help her cut back the branches of another neighbor’s tree that she felt was overgrown. Her husband says she never feels guilty, only sad at getting caught.

Her most recent escapade involves a shrub in our yard. In winter it loses its leaves. I came home one day to find it “replaced.” I have also discovered that she “befriends” elderly single ladies down the street, convinces them to sell at below-market prices, and turns their homes into rental properties.

What kind of person am I dealing with, and how can we handle this? Is she crazy? — DAVID IN PHOENIX

DEAR DAVID: The person you have described is highly manipulative, does not respect boundaries and appears to have no conscience. She has no right to enter someone else’s property without permission and cut their grass or trim their trees, and doing so could be considered trespassing. As for replacing your shrub, if you could prove she took it, you could take her to court and she would have to replace the one she took with one like it.

I hope you realize that by convincing the neighbors to sell their homes at below-market rates, she is adversely affecting the price of your property because a buyer would compare your asking price with that of other homes that have sold in your neighborhood.

This woman is crazy like a fox. If she’s manipulating elderly people who don’t know any better, then in my opinion, she’s guilty of elder abuse — and that’s against the law.
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

MW, again – what has been weirding me out since this AM is the shadow near Mary – as the umbrella is to her right, shouldn’t the shadow be on the same side?
Ah, Mary, always screwing with the universe.
Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
March 7th, 2008 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#128: Paperback Rifler: I usually have trouble putting parody lyrics in with the actual melody of the song, but yours worked really well. And I agree with the sentiment! BRAVO!

Also, I agree with Mike-O’s sentiment too…the snark is repetitive. And I had a fun time “laffing” at his comment. But the snark would be less repetitive if the subject matter were less repetitive, right? And either way, I still find the snark funnier than the funnies. :) I guess I can find room to criticize when I can bring something more funny to the table…and even then I will still “laff.”
fishmorgjp
March 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

167 Pepperoni: That was the point I was just going to make — if the snarks sometimes seem repetitious, that’s because the subject matter itself is so stale and fetid…
PeteMoss
March 7th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

I feel a bit petty wasting any time discussing my “views” regarding FBOW and the whole FOOBerverse but I’m not too concerned about why Elizabeth is attracted to Anthothy. No one else deserves these loser. However, what really gets me is that I get the impression Lynn Johnston wants her readers to find these characters attractive and interesting and people we can relate to. Elizabeth is so dull she can’t think of anything more interesting to do with her life than live as close to her parents and siblings as possible so she won’t miss anything interesting going on in their dull, dull lives. She strings along a perfectly good mountie and then tells him he needs to move from the geat North to Toronto with her. This chick is so pathetic she returns, gets an appartment, and then quickly moves back into her parents home because she doesn’t want to commute to work. Then there’s Anthony the stachless. Lynn writes that this guy pressured his french-canadian wife into having a kid she didn’t want. Then, following Liz’ assault via Howard the Bunt, Anthony tells her, “I have no home!” and hits on her while he’s still married. How is it Johnston finds this an attractive trait? Is Lynn big into the whole “rescue” types of relationships? Does she really find this compelling?

And what’s she doing with April? Lynn could have had an interesting story about April really wanting to persue her music. At least she could have her wanting to keep a band and keep performing. But, no, that would be interesting and not practical. 15-year-old April must be drivin to veterinary medicine, instead, and be so focused she must abandon her childish interst in music. Geez. Why, Lynn, why do you make them losers? (Not that Vets are losers, mind you)

Ok, I’ve added my coal to the pile. Rant/
Sen. Lucius Bedfellow
March 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

“Yes, Toby, my true religion is kindness. And by kindness, I mean Santeria. Please hold still while I anoint you with chicken blood.”
The Naked Kissing Bandit of the Urban Jungle Crossing Guard Brigade
March 7th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

#97 Helena — for reals…
i mean, if you look at Mary Worth as modern Heironymous Bosch (with the loophole and added constant gracing buffer of daily reinvention), there is some (to use a new englander term though i may not be a new englander) wicked ass bath house mad max go home s*it going on… too bad they hunt and hoist the christian singles.
PeteMoss
March 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

It’s been way too long since anyone’s snarked on the Jumble.
alamo
March 7th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

fc —

jeffy – take your finger out of your nose.

daddy – take your head out of your ass!
The Naked Kissing Bandit of the Urban Jungle Crossing Guard Brigade
March 7th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

since i’m asking for it, i might as well add that Elizabeth might be better off with a gay man for staying power, if not a detachable accompaniable glass or silicone friend and/or motor.

but hey, that is her call. the modern woman’s/man’s dilemma… although it could be hot, and we all might like to see it. we
might.
some of us, maybe not so much.

then again if the lights were out, there wouldnt be much comic to read, although if handled properly, it’s a great way to phone in and maintain dramatic tension. that’s why i love Garfield, and things drooling under beds.
unclelumpy
March 7th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

#172 Pete –

Hmmm. . . .
The Naked Kissing Bandit of the Urban Jungle Crossing Guard Brigade
March 7th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

things under beds drooling

poor susie
The Naked Kissing Bandit of the Urban Jungle Crossing Guard Brigade
March 7th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

things under beds drooling

poor susie..

what’s the capital of Poland?
Krakow! Krakow! Krakow!
Islamorada Girl
March 7th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

By foreshadowing, I mean Mary is starting to tell Toby how she got so wonderful in the first place. Since this could drag on until next Friday, I’m not revealing any spoilers. I’m just hoping it will settle the controversy about MW’s long lost n’er do well son Warren, who hasn’t appeared since the 70’s, when he appeared in a storyline touching Ma up for some cash, Tommy the Tweaker style.
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

Krakatoa!

What my vector, victor?

or victoria..

Roger, Roger-san

geronimooo…
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

#177 The Naked Kissing Bandit of the Urban Jungle Crossing Guard Brigade –

All good crossing guards know you aren’t supposed to cross against the Red.
Hasty Penguin
March 7th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Cross-dressing Keane family photo shoot day takes it an even creepier twist in that it’s just the two of them alone.
Girl Reporter
March 7th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

178 Islamorada Girl, I just can’t get my hopes up again about foreshadowing in Mary Worth. I’ve been disappointed too many times. Vera mentioning twice that she had to take her car in for service after the horseback date. The portentious pulling-out of the condo rule book. The claiming of Chester by his rightful owner. Dr. Drew questioning his life while standing on the edge of a very high cliff. This, too, will only end with a tuna cassarole and a whimper.

P.S. Mary Worth spawned!? And she raised an imperfect child!? Wait. Wait, Girl Reporter. Calm down. Breathe. Manage your expectations.
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

#134
Gabacho says: I don’t Mary Worth has the ovaries to pull off the role so my love/hate with her will probably diminish to mere boredom by next week.

Where do you think she hides the extra ascots?

I never pictured Mary as having children, although it would be very intriguing and enfleshing backstory to hear of a prodigious/prodigal child gone off hustling…
I always felt like she meddled and fretted over other chits and maggots because she didnt have any of her own.

I say maggots to mean beings in formative stage if all ages, as they veer precipitously close to the pupa…

And thence to beauteh

aaauuugh

well, maggots and other larvae.. it is a mixer, after all mm :P

all right now, who let the weird girl in
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

#180 I never said I was a good crossing guard. Maybe I’m an evil crossing guard.

Or maybe I’m so badass I only work four-way stops

Or maybe I’m pretending to be a crossing guard when really I need to hold hands when I cross the street.

Also I threw myself into a gross abyss of derivativity and I would like to take this moment to adress in brief the diverse ramifications of mixing racism and condescension and all the gross messiness i half-inadvertently dug up.

It’s probably subconsciously got something to do with this children’s book I read last night called “Bruh Rabbit…” something or other; a generation X why bother follow-up to “Brer Rabbit” that uses a Jim Crow-era vernacular that children will miss and a “Be good boys, toss your junkie friend you love” moral that made me want to vomit.
Allie (not Alley) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

#182 – Girl Reporter Do you think there’s any possibility that Mary Worth was actually born Marvin Worth? I saw this thing on Good Morning America about this guy who had sex reassignment because he felt he should have been born a woman. He’d had his Adam’s Apple removed and everything. Quite a shock to his wife. And their kid.

Have you ever noticed “Mary” wears a lot of scarves? I wonder what she’s hiding?
Islamorada Girl
March 7th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

182/Girl Reporter: You’re probably right. This is probably another one of those cruel, cruel teasers where you think something will actually happen in Mary Worth, or at least explain how she got the way she is. I’ve been reading this strip since I was a small child, when dinosaurs and Mary roamed the earth, so I ought to know better, even though for one brief shining moment, we had Aldo. We should know by now that Mary is never, ever on deadline.
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

#184 Naked Kissing Bandit –

I stand corrected. Didn’t mean to cross you. Just the street.
Calico
March 7th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

#180 –
Cross at the Green, not in between! : D
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

#188 Calico –

I’ll have to get Back to you on that one.
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

I think I just wrote the most offensive word in the history of American English. Kudos to me. While whelps would have been a more appropriate choice, both to my miscenginist leanings and the content of my thought ball, I’m honored to be the class moron who pushes the envelope.

That said, love the Family Circus blurb today. Could anyone have pegged me for a nose-picker? Started with the lips though… til they got bandaged.

Give ‘em hell, and good luck with those highwaters, all you bassackwuhds mutant mongrel (that means you and me) children of the monkey rainbow.

It’s weird: I love the concept of “free to be you and me”, but I like hardly ever heard that song in my lifetime thus far…

Which reminds me– mad shout out to the parody Of “Time Has Come Again” on the March the fourth posting.

Liz and I (and even heathen I would daresay Yogi Berra) could use more no-hype anthem goony go-team pep talks.

Did I talk about religion? I feel dirty, like maybe Oscar the Grouch would… I think I need Margo’s toothbrush.
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

#189 …uh… yah.
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

but seriously folks…
Naked Kissing Bandit
March 7th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

wokka wokka wokka

that was a good one

all around

uh

kind of
gh
March 7th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

#190-193 Naked Kissing Bandit –

Ships in the night. I must needs clock out. And I, for one, don’t think “derivativity” is that dirty! Depends on the context!
kippetje2000
March 7th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

#172: Or Love is…
kippetje2000
March 7th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

“Love is” has only ever made me laugh when I add the words “buck naked” to each caption>
DAS
March 7th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

However, what really gets me is that I get the impression Lynn Johnston wants her readers to find these characters attractive and interesting and people we can relate to. [...] How is it Johnston finds this an attractive trait? Is Lynn big into the whole “rescue” types of relationships? Does she really find this compelling?

Maybe we give Lynn Johnston too little credit. Maybe she’s trying to tweak us by purposefully giving us “heros” we hate and making us sympathetic toward the anti-heros of her stories. Maybe she’s the J-source of the comics page?

I know, comparing Lynn Johnston to the J-source … I should be ashamed of myself for such blasphemy. But I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe Lynn Johnston may very well think she’s pulling off such a trick …

Good Shabbos everyone!
commodorejohn
March 7th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

#196 kippetje2000 – Love Is…a chunk of highly compressed carbon worth a significant chunk of your child’s college education.
Cafangdra
March 7th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

God help me I found Anthony the less unappealing of two unappealing male characters in today’s FBofW. If nothing else, Warren and his oil slick of a personality make Anthony almost palatable in comparison.

I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
Lucon Talestar
March 7th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

Sorry, but as long as Josh takes ten times as many vacations as me, I just can’t give him any fabulous cash prizes.
Mountain Mama
March 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

I think I’m going to publicize the “Mary Worth Diet.” Read MW for five days and you’ll never want to eat ever again.

Is Mary Worth a very twisted future Lucy? Will we see that she had a psychiatric booth when she was a girl?

At any rate, soon I’ll be off to Tucson. I will pass along my best wishes to the whole AZ crew, Josh and Amber, and Mr. Weber.
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
March 7th, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

Gabe,

“My Cage and Sally Forth: Ha ha! We pretend to like them because we know the writers read this blog!”

To parphase AFKAB:

I’m EPWOMC and I approve this sentiment.

:D

But seriously, feel free to snark the strip. I feel like I’ve made it everytime someone does. :) (although, I think most posters don’t really know who we are)

So do your worst…put cigarettes out on me and call us ‘Dilebert with animals’. I can take it. :)
Ed Power, writer of My Cage
March 7th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

That shoul be ‘Dilbert’. Not Dilebert. I gotta stop drinking and posting.
Shoshi
March 7th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Gut Shabbos to you, too, DAS. And shavua tov when you return!
AhClem
March 7th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

FBoFW – Three possible scenarios for the inevitable Blanthony/Warren meetup:

1. Blanthony barges in, shouts “Get your hands off my girl, you brute!” and proceeds to pummel Warren with a throw pillow.

2. Warren and Blanthony both fall to their knees, pleading in unison “We have no hoooommmeeee!”

3. They both leave together, Warren with his arm around Blanthony’s shoulder and asking, “Tell me, Anthony. Do you like gladiator movies?”

Sadly, the actual outcome will be more glurge-filled, banal and vomit-inducing than any of those.
Gabacho
March 7th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

IslamoradaGirl and Mary Worth –

Warren, Son of the Blessed Widow Worth!!?? I am gobsmacked, dropped in my tracks by this bit of information. She has a son??

HELP ALL MUDGES – surely some must know the backstory of this son. Please tell or point to where I can find out more.

For some reason, it seems very important to me to know this.
Islamorada Girl
March 7th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Son of Mary Worth. Okay, you have to realize that I have been reading this strip since I was about six, back in the late 50’s. Yes, I am two days older than dirt. Sometime, I think in the mid-60’s, Mary Worth’s long lost son, whose name I think was Warren, turned up out of nowhere. He was a louse and a loser, was only around long enough to try to scrounge money out of Mary before he headed out for his next cheap grift. As I recall, he wore glasses and had a mustache and made lots of trouble and heartbreak for Mare. Since he hasn’t been heard of since, I suppose he was written out just as easily as he was written in. There was some discussion about this over in the forums, and others semi-recalled him, too. I have no idea why I remember this. It must have been traumatic.
Jim
March 7th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

FW: Either the mention of mothers will drive Summer into a massive depression freakout following the game, or her callous comment is the first sign that she’ll grow up to be a fine serial killer someday.

Personally, I’d like to see the second option. Summer would make a great sociopathic killer.
AhClem
March 7th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

If Mary Worth has a son, that means at one time she must have had se… no, I can’t say it. It’s too horrible to contemplate. The thought of someone entering that ragged leathery vag… AAAHH! Make it Stop!!
PeteMoss
March 7th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

197 # DAS, I sometimes subscribe to the theory that the last 5 or so years of the strip represent Farley’s coma dream, having been nearly drowned in the river trying to save Apewell. Obvously, he no longer holds the Patterson’s in very high esteem.

“Patterson are ok…FOR ME TO POOP ON!”
Farley's Revenge
March 7th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Alley (not Allie) Cat(78):

When Warren was first introduced, right after Elizabeth’s Eric stage, Warren was presented as a nice young man who helped Elizabeth out of a jam involving too many bags to claim at the bus terminal. He was interested, she wasn’t, having just come off Eric(and I mean that in any way you choose to interpret it). One of the next times Warren showed up was when Elizabeth hooked up with Paul. Warren has been around Elizabeth’s periphery for years but there was never any set in stone type relationship. He was always up front about seeing other people, especially when she was seeing Paul. I just don’t get where she thinks he “dumped” her, unless Johnston equates “not being at her beck and call” with “dumping”.

The point is taken about Warren answering Elizabeth’s phone while she’s standing right there. That struck me as a rather in the face way of calling attention to Warren’s impending weasel-hood. Still, people who call other people and immediately demand to know who answers is one of my RL pet peeves.

As for Michael being a lifelong jerk…I dunno. I guess having a son close to that age and doing some of the same things sort of tempered my view of him. I will admit that seeing the old strips again makes me wonder how I ever saw him as anything but an annoying brat in dire need of an extended stay in Siberia.

If it’s any consolation, MY son has grown into a fine young man who has no intention of foisting any glurge on the reading public nor spawning offspring such as the junior Pattersons.
anonymous
March 7th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

GIL THORP: Earlier This Week! WTF?

I’m a bit late to the party, but seriously, earlier this week, there were two poorly drawn women nonchalantly holding a small department store mannequin upside down by the ankles while jabbering away about something else entirely different. I should think one would have said, ‘this mannequin is pretty heavy’ or ‘we have to dress this mannequin in a new outfit for the front window.” Very odd!!!
Cedar
March 7th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

#211

I agree with you–I think Warren was originally introduced as a nice character. One of the times when they were riding the bus together, Warren busts out some pictures of his nephew, and Liz says, “I can’t believe I’m sitting next to a guy who has baby pictures in his wallet.” See? Down to earth. Not afraid to be sentimental. Connected to his family.
Alfred E. Neuman
March 7th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

#83 MikeO— My only response is to paraphrase that great sage, Ella Fitzgerald: “It ain’t whatcha say, it’s the way whatcha say it!”

#114 commodorejohn— You call? Yes, that is me in Spider-man in another one of my bit roles. It’s been hard to find steady work since my rejection by the Jungle Patrol.
gnome de la jungle patrol
March 7th, 2008 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

I’ve been reading Mary Worth since approximately 57 days after Islamorada Girl, and I don’t remember the ne’er-do-well son. There are, however, gaps in both my attention and my memory.

However, I sincerely believe she has a daughter whom she abandoned as a small child to be raised by a tribe of sour-faced spinsters. This long-lost daughter currently resides in apartment 3-G, Manhattan, USA and her name is Abigail ‘Tommie’ Thompson.
commodorejohn
March 7th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

#215 gnome de la jungle patrol – Wow, that explains so much about Tommie’s life! She’s not inherently dull and boring, she’s just surrounded by Mary’s hereditary aura of anti-fun (a substance the exact opposite of fun, such that if fun and anti-fun come into close contact, the result is an explosion of pure energy!)
bobbaloo (aka bob byrd)
March 7th, 2008 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Before Funky jumped back to the future, the Iraq war was part of the storyline. but now that we’re in the future is the war over? and where the heck are the flying cars? i’m crying foul if i see any current topical references in tomorrowland.
blueberrygrrrl
March 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Ah! So Warren is Mary Worth’s son! That totally explains why he thinks it’s appropriate to show up at Liz’s door late at night and answer her phone for her. I’m looking forward to next week, when he forces her into his helicopter, flies her to Peace Village and makes her marry Dr. Drew.
SKJAM!
March 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

I personally would like Mary Worth to flash back to the actual 1930s strips when she was “Apple Mary” as Tobey becomes more and more horrified when she realizes that yes, that *actually happened* and Mary is just that darn old.
Joe Btfsplk
March 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

Uncle Lumpy – Some backstory would be a refreshing change, though, full of ~~sailing vessels~~ primitive log rafts, ~~crinolines~~ cave-bear skins, “~~prithee”~~ grunted communications, ~~witch trials~~ proto-Druidic rituals, a narrow escape from the ~~stake~~ flint spear-head, a stark struggle for survival through the ~~icy New England winter~~ Pleistocene epoch, and encounters with ~~wolves~~ saber-tooths that prove to be more than they seem. . . .

I see what you’re doing there, but remember the time period…
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
March 7th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

#209 AhClem:

If Mary Worth has a son, that means at one time she must have had se… no, I can’t say it. It’s too horrible to contemplate.

AhClem, buddy, back in the day, Mary was quite the hotsy totsy. Fellahs in buffalo coats would ring her up for rides in the ol’ jalopy. Twenty three skidoo!

It takes years of determination and focus to become as sexless as Mare, unless one is preternaturally gifted at limpnescence.
Charles
March 7th, 2008 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

I fully admit that I’m having trouble with the genders of the people in FW because my attention is drawn to the molester mustache on the dark brown person in the final panel.
Alley (not Allie) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

#211 Farley’s Revenge:
Well, take into consideration that it was very late at night. I think if my BF phoned me that late at night, and a man answered the phone, my BF would be so surprised that he might not offer a greeting that would be endorsed by Miss Manners.
Alley (not Allie) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

Oh and I should add that if I had a pushy ex who was violating as many boundaries as Warren has managed to cram into about ten minutes, I would ask my BF to drive over ASAP.
Allie (not Alley) Cat
March 7th, 2008 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

#224 – Alley – Fancy meeting you here! Yeah, Warren has been known in past for being “flighty” ha, ha – for instance, he just sort of “showed up” when Liz graduated college. Which was kind of cute/romantic.

So, stable? No, not especially – but this creepiness seems totally out of character. Or at least, inorganic.
erikagwen
March 7th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

FC: okay I actually laughed at this today. My dad had to tell my brother to take his finger our of his nose all the time and I specifically remember him doing this when there was a picture to be taken.
Dr. Mabuse
March 7th, 2008 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – I only just realized that Anthony is in this strip! Why does he have wavy stink lines emanating from his head towards the flat-screen TV hanging over the top of his bed?
Joe Btfsplk
March 7th, 2008 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail – Actually, Mark would come across better here if he were looking forward more to getting back home to his own family. But then, who am I to speak ill of the bond between a man and his dog?

Ziggy – Looks like all three of them can use the same door, actually. Ziggy’s never been a big guy, but cripes, he’s like gnome-size today.

#83 MikeO – No argument here. Our harvest must grow from the seed that is given us. Or the manure which feeds it. Or something like that.
Farley's Revenge
March 7th, 2008 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

Alley (not Allie) Cat: I suppose some of the difference of opinion has to do with personal experiences. What one would consider unacceptable might seem ordinary to someone else. We used to have a downstairs neighbor who would show up in the middle of the night after drinking at a local bar(I drew the line at him showing up in his bathrobe, though). As for phone calls late at night, let’s just say those don’t surprise us either. When you have family members stationed around the world, a 2 a.m. phone call can be the norm, not the exception.

Still, the way Johnston is going, pretty soon all the secondary characters will be dragged into view for no other reason than to transform them into utter douchebags just to make the Patterson clan look even more saintly. I can imagine her having Jesse show up, drugged out and with Grampa Jim’s harmonica stuck through his earlobe, needing money for his next tattoo or something.
Tabby Lavalamp
March 7th, 2008 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

Arglebargle (#20) “Bizarro: Piraro can be a funny guy when he stays away from Star Trek – The Next Generation gags, but today’s strip is just phenomenally stupid.”
Even those aren’t as bad as when he’s preaching the gospel of the veganism. Those are just plain awful. I don’t mind when an otherwise funny cartoonist misses the mark, as long as they’re trying to be funny.
Girl Reporter
March 7th, 2008 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

So, there’s Warren the formerly wonderful helicopter pilot. Warren the hazily remembered ne’er do well Son of Worth. Crossword puzzle answer ___ G. Harding.

And:

“I like to watch.”
“Ooooo. I’ll go get Warren!”
SaberChick
March 7th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

For those of you who wondered about the origin of Mary Worth – Here is a link to info on the original “Apple Mary”.

http://www.toonopedia.com/applmary.htm
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
March 8th, 2008 at 12:14 am [Reply]

232. SaberChick: thanks for the link. I thought that Mary had a poor-but-noble origin. What really intrigued me was a sidebar for similar cartoons, notably “Myra North, Special Nurse.” My mind residing languidly in a gutter, all I could come up with was enema nurse as her specialty…
Gabe
March 8th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

Ed: I hope you saw my later post. I was def. making a joke, and I just don’t say that to make you feel better, I know you don’t care. I truly like your strip and obviously have no problems voicing my opinion. I think that’s obvious.

Your strip has good art and can make me laugh. That’s all I ask for.
kippetje2000
March 8th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

If Apple Mary was strictly a Depression Era comic strip – Prune Mary is our era’s depressive comic strip. Just goes to prove Mary’s so old she has to have someone come in once a week to dust out between her legs.
kippetje2000
March 8th, 2008 at 1:04 am [Reply]

Sorry, didn’t realize an old Phyllis Diller joke would bring the snark to an end.
Hey, how ‘bout those stink lines in Archie today.
LTBF
March 8th, 2008 at 1:27 am [Reply]

A few months ago I got a call on my cell phone. It was about 5:00 in the afternoon and I was at my son’s baseball practice.

The calle was a man who angrily asked “Who is this?”. I responded with “Who are you looking for?”. He said some woman’s name and I said he had the wrong number. He then politely apologized and hung up.
dale
March 8th, 2008 at 1:35 am [Reply]

Snark on JUMBLE
The best I can do is: at least one of those guys is obsessed with girls in bathing suits.

Reminds me of the fellow doing the inkblot test. When the psychiatrist told him he was a sex fiend, he responded, “Me? They’re your dirty pictures.”
Mibbitmaker
March 8th, 2008 at 1:48 am [Reply]

One-Word 3/8s:

S-M: Yikes!

FOOB: Messy.

FW: Foul…. >;o)

FC: ….riiiiight…..

GT: Bun??

S4th: A…..ha?

Monty: No!

Garfield: Clever. (!)

Cranky: Margarine.

H&L: “Strivemore”?????

GT: Pissed.

H&L: ……… “STRIVEMORE”?!?!?!?!
True Fable
March 8th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Ballard Street I suppose I will never know what kind of gun was held to the head of the editor who accepted this strip for syndication.
FC Jeffy’s plan to find out if anyone actually thought of him during the day did not bring the hoped-for results.
FBoFW “I WANT to be part of an uptight white-bread perfectionist bunch of snobs, Liz! I don’t ever want to have sex and I want to wake up next to a potato-nosed lump with a Muppet mouth for the rest of my miserable existence!”
GA “She’s a little bit country, he’s a little bit rock ‘n roll.”
GT So the Orthopedic doctor is for the little brother, and the urologist is for when A-Train pees his pants when he gets the bill.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Ah, Thirsty’s tragic, daring dares-not-speak-of-it love story will now be told…
JP Good Lord! Maybe it was a special occasion for the farm, Abbey; maybe they gave the workers the day off because, I dunno, it was someone’s birthday or there was a death in a family and everyone needed some down time to grieve in private. Whatever the case, it’s NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!
MT Today’s strip was just glorious in every way. I love Ginormous Headed Andy and Just Standing Around Doc in the first panel; I loved the fact that for our sakes, Mark should travel constantly and maybe that improve that glassy stare of Cherry’s in panel two; and I LOVE how Cherry notices that Ginormous Squirrel in time to ask Mark to stay and punch it into submission.
MW We’re going to have a Mary Flashback! Oh joy! Life in the 1500’s!! I can’t wait!
RMMD Well damn. People be wavin’ money around all over the place in this strip. That never happens to me, but then I don’t hav hair like a sea creature and I don’t go off for six months on a weekend fishing trip either.
kippetje2000
March 8th, 2008 at 2:12 am [Reply]

Mibbitmaker: Hi & Lois provide a great caption that I’d like to see for a certain other strip…”Love is too strong a word for what we never had”…buck naked.
unclelumpy
March 8th, 2008 at 2:18 am [Reply]

#241 kippetje2K –

“Love is too strong a word for what we never had. . .” in my pants!

“Love is too strong a word for what we never had. . .” for me to poop on!
kippetje2000
March 8th, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

Hey Unc, I know we’re on the morrowthread already, but is that going to be your last posting as assistant comics snarker?
unclelumpy
March 8th, 2008 at 3:09 am [Reply]

#243 kippetje2K –

Nope; I’ve got the wheel through Sunday.
kippetje2000
March 8th, 2008 at 3:32 am [Reply]

yay!
AwesomeMan
March 8th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

I can’t decide which I like better, the idea that Mary Worth got started in her career of serial advice-giving by some Batman-esque personal tragedy (”Don’t shoot!” “If only the mugger had listened to my mother’s advice, she would have been alive today. It was then that I vowed that no one would EVER ignore my suggestions.”) or the idea that she’s secretly Anne Hutchinson.
Tubbytoast
March 8th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

re: Foob, I dont give a flying dentist about the whole thing.
Foolkiller
March 9th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Just wait until Summer gets recruited for the Afghanistan National team. Look out USA!
Lisa
March 10th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

Hello, I am trying to post something, per Josh’s instructions. I got a spam notification last week. So here goes…..

Hi, Josh! Welcome back!
Lisa
March 10th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Looks like it worked….

Carry on… sorry for the interruption.

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