Or maybe she’s just really bad at identifying baked goods
Gil Thorp, 8/30/12
Say, did you hear the one about the one-armed golfer? He was the subject of this summer’s Gil Thorp storyline, which turned out to not be that interesting! Wrapping up briefly: we learned that One-Armed Steve was full of rage because he did in fact lose his arm in a non-heroic fashion (car accident while on a military base overseas), and his attempts to woo Molly Kinsella failed not because he was an amputee but because he’s a grown man and she’s still in high school, gross. But all that psychic pain was nothing a little match play couldn’t cure, so Steve got cleaned up and has learned to love life again. So instead of getting a real job and getting back on his feet, he’s going to become yet another Milford community member offering the high school no-cost coaching services! It’s a win for everyone, but mostly for Gil.
And now our fall drama is taking shape! Anita Visci is taking cookies to her new neighbor … who refers to them as “biscuits,” which means that she’s English, probably! Will her son refuse to play decent American football and instead demand equal time for his British freak sports, like rugby or cricket or punting? Will Maeve take the pram to the lift on the telly in the boot or whatever? Stay tuned!
Family Circus, 8/30/12
Ha ha, yes, we all know little kids all over this great country of ours will be glued to the tube for the next couple of weeks, thrilling to the minutia of parliamentary procedure! Actually, this cartoon is kind of dating itself, as the last presidential nominating convention where there was realistic suspense about how things would go on the first ballot was (I think) in 1980, so maybe kids were smarter then?
Blondie, 8/30/12
Dagwood has gone through all the trouble of baking a pizza in an oven, and yet he’s still leaving his hat on while he eats. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does.
nescio
August 30th, 2012 at 8:27 am
DtM: Dennis’s father actually said that Mr. Wilson’s garden’s gone to shit because he just sits around with his thumb up his ass.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 8:27 am
MT: “We can’t take that plane! Quick! To the MouseMobile!”
JP: “House Skunk won’t spray ya—but he bites like a sumbitch! You boys have a good night!”
MW: “Each of us take away different lessons.” Would one of those lessons be “subject-verb agreement,” Mary?
Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
August 30th, 2012 at 8:31 am
MW: Someone has to touch up those roots or realize the faux mohawk just doesn’t work. Or perhaps with her near death experience she’s earned a partial halo.
pugfuggly
August 30th, 2012 at 8:33 am
FC The Keane kids have to see who’s going to be chosen in this year’s family vote to be sacrificed for the harvest. There’s a lot of talk around Billy, but I wouldn’t count out PJ yet.
A3G “Well what do these visitors look like? White, nondescript, with dull-coloured suits? Crap, that could be anyone.”
FW That’s it, just keep pushing it with the cutting jokes until he breaks down in tears over the disaster that is his life. Then you can really low-ball him.
MT Ooops, looks like Rusty’s about to get poached. I bet those giant eyes are worth a fortune on the black market.
MW Even thought-bubble Dawn seems a little confused at to what she learned from this whole experience. “So now what’s important to me is…being on dry land? Not going to countries with fresh vegetables? That it’s ok to trust gingers? What, Mary?”
Wilbur, of course, has learned the important lesson of cashing in on tragedy.
MrGuy
August 30th, 2012 at 8:36 am
I had no idea the writer of Blondie used Linux.
wossname
August 30th, 2012 at 8:38 am
MT – Hey now, that’s some serious art – note how Sassy’s facial expression is identical to Rusty’s in panels 1 & 2.
Also, somebody please remind me – where is Mark all this time? Still returning from The Case of The Discarded Gum Wrapper? Why is it taking so long?
A3G – Carla, Carla, Carla. They covered this in the second week of Katherine Gibbs Secretarial School. You ask the visitors, “Whom may I say is calling?”
Blondie – APPLE FILES $1B SUIT AGAINST BLONDIE LLC FOR TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT
DT – Is that a miniature woman? Since Staton is a good artist who actually understands perspective and stuff (unlike some we all could name), I have to assume it is.
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 8:39 am
MW-Dawn is going to quit school and then promptly go back to school so she can learn what she wants to do in life.
MT-Rusty, as you get older you will discover that all men look alike. They all look like Mark. Some people will say that is because Mark’s father was a rolling stone but others will say due to the limited amount of clip art all men will be using the “Mark Trail” template.
Gil Thorp-She’s trying to pretend she’s British by calling the cookies biscuits. Just remember though in Milford you can’t pretend you are something else. Lest we forget the tragic fate of the tattoo parlor owner who pretended he was Australian how he burned to death when the Coach burned down the parlor.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 8:46 am
@pugfuggly (#4) on Mark Trail: Rusty Eyes are a suitable substitution for eye of newt in a 1:4 ratio.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 8:46 am
@pugfuggly (#4): re: MT: Hm, what would Rusty Eyeballs be used for? Perhaps as some sort of anti-aphrodisiac or birth control?
He: “Say, honey, do you want to. . . ?”
She: “Well, do you have a condom?”
He: “No, but it will be okay just this once.”
((She whips out a Rusty Eyeball.))
He: “Gah! Never mind—let’s just watch Game of Thrones instead.”
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 8:48 am
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#9): Life is brutal.
Peter
August 30th, 2012 at 8:48 am
Dagwood:”Well, I guess it isn’t different from a regular pizza-” /removes pizza from oven using oven mitts, lets pizza cool for 3-5 minutes, slices pizza, gets a plate from the cupboard, pours himself a tall glass of …water? Gin? Dishwashing liquid?, removes his apron, sits down, serves himself a slice of pizza, gives a slice of pizza to the dog, begins to bite into pizza/
Dagwood:”But who cares?!”
Blondie: “are you freakin’ kidding me”
Dennis Jimenez
August 30th, 2012 at 8:50 am
GT – But English or not, her meadow muffins still taste like shit – right….
FC – Sorry, under rule 4-17, they invoked at least one intervening day before any official action, while Barfy prepares a fiscal impact statement….
Blondie – I’m digging two things in today’s strip – Blondies gorgeous tits (of course) and the really horrific pizza burns Dag is gonna suffer from pulling a pie straight out’a the oven and shoveling it into his mouth. Hillarious….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Flonatin of Bologna
August 30th, 2012 at 8:51 am
Today’s Archie was obviously written by the AJGLU-400.
Chareth Cutestory
August 30th, 2012 at 8:52 am
Blondie: Hey look! Dagwood folds his pizza and eats it New York style. Meanwhile Daisy doesn’t fold her slice, because although the rules for dogs in this comic universe allow her to hold a slice in one paw it doesn’t allow more dexterity. THANKS FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT DOGS HOLDING PIZZA AND DISTRACTING ME FROM REAL WORK. THIS IS WHY I CAN NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE IN LIFE YOU GUYS.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 8:57 am
If Dingo were here, his comment on Archie would include, at a minimum, the word “rimming.”
I would have loved for Michelle to backhand Curtis so hard his she knocks his stupid hat into big pile of horse poop. That’s a general principle, not specific to today’s entry.
Who’s that “The Most Annoying Mascot in the World?”
Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
August 30th, 2012 at 9:02 am
Blondie: Gotta love the anthropomorphic Daisy on the floor eating pizza..
billytheskink
August 30th, 2012 at 9:06 am
on GT: Molly Kinsella was tabbed as a senior in the spring 2011 storyline, so she’s not in high school anymore (presumably). The issue with Steve Boone is that he was a senior for the fall 2004 storyline, so, presumably a spring 2005 graduate. Not quite as gross as it could have been…
McManx
August 30th, 2012 at 9:07 am
Crankshaft — Vintage Crank beans his own grandson… SWEET!
Gil Thorp — So in the end, our wounded warrior will be exploited by the high school coach, but at least he’ll be able to stalk the cheerleader squad.
Judge Parker — I must say that I thought that the JP Art Team was being pretty ballsy by introducing an occasional nipple slip that might pass for a stray pen mark. But today, they’ve topped themselves.
Mark Trail — “The giant tree mouse (Rodentious Gigantious) is known to hang in trees and snatch its prey with is freakishly long tail…”
Powers
August 30th, 2012 at 9:08 am
GT: Molly said in this story that Steve is 25 and that he’s six years older than she is. That makes her 19. And still hanging around Milford? What the heck for?
pastordan
August 30th, 2012 at 9:08 am
Apartment 3-G: Why Greg, how perceptive of you.
9 Chickweed Lane: Please let this result in Amos’ death, please let this result in Amos’ death, please let this…
Judge Parker: Are those…nipples in panel two? Does it take a de-scented skunk to get Bea off? Because if so, Avery’s got an idea.
Mark Trail: <Tiny mouse voice>Yeah! You better keep that plane grounded, if you know what’s good for you, see?</Tiny mouse voice>
Mary Worth: Why did my mind go immediately to a May-December lesbian romance? Damn you mudgeons!
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
Starbursts between Heather and June! You could cut the sexual tension with a knife!Damn you mudgeons!eriqjaffe
August 30th, 2012 at 9:09 am
@Liam (#7): Also, I imagine the market for bootleg “Benny Hill Show” DVDs in Milford is going to be smaller than she’s expecting.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 9:11 am
9CL — I might be mildly concerned about the poor schmuck in the orchestra pit who’s wrecking his back trying to lift Amos, were it not for the fact that Poor Schmuck is in 9CL and is therefore an asshat, whether or not we ever find out how or why. That’s McEldowney’s Law.
Spiff Bereft
August 30th, 2012 at 9:13 am
“Dagwood has gone through all the trouble of baking a pizza in an oven, and yet he’s still leaving his hat on while he eats. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does.”
Because it means he placed the pizza in the oven, then stood in front of the oven and watched it bake for the entire baking time, a greasy string of drool running down his chin, then fetched oven mitts and a cutting utensil, then sat directly down to eat it, not even thinking of offering any to anyone else, all the while wearing the hat and most likely an adult diaper.
Binder's Butter Beans
August 30th, 2012 at 9:15 am
I bet Dagwood wears that hat while he’s making love, too. That’s why Blondie is so alarmed that he’s wearing it whilst eating a pizza. “But, Dagwood! That’s … that’s our special hat! I’ve had it with you, mister, I’m going to Mother’s.”
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 9:16 am
FC — How do these mutant alleged children with their useless finger-stubs even manage to hold a ball, let alone throw it? Never mind — no good ever comes of contemplating FC anatomy.
Mibbitmaker
August 30th, 2012 at 9:19 am
New PCK Enter(tainment edi)torial is now up!
A 2002 FOOB parody/satire of the Eric-beating-for-Eric’s-cheating storyline.
I did some editing in Paint to avoid feeling compelled to add a “V” rating to PCK over it. The creator-friendly Comic Fury doesn’t force one to do that, but I wanted to clean it up slightly just the same. Just a bit of Comic Strip Brand Oil-Blood, nothing gruesome (I generally don’t draw gruesome).
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:19 am
Dick – Characters’ statements to the contrary, it’s pretty clear that the real reason aquarium director Arthur Curry was killed is that his name didn’t give any sort of clue as to his vocation, like Denny Zen O’TheDeep, or even Cage Glass. He simply didn’t belong in their world. The Aquaman shirt didn’t help, either.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 9:20 am
@Binder’s Butter Beans (#24): If I had a float, that would ride it.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:21 am
Hägar travels to England with his savage, bloodthirsty crew, besieges castles, and then buys stuff. [*]
Henry – She’s probably full of mercury anyway.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 9:24 am
S-M — I’m trying to break free of this strip so I’ve missed a few, but I may have to rejoin just to find out more about this fascinating philosophy of the proper responsibilities of the police force.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:27 am
love is… …putting his lingam in your yoni.
Mark – “Dibs on the tree-dwelling kangaroo rat’s spleen!”
TheDiva
August 30th, 2012 at 9:29 am
FC: I thought it meant that the Keane family is a democracy in true red-blooded American style, and every decision must be voted on by the entire family before it passes (Referendum A: Shall Billy be allowed to play outside with his friends beginning at 1400 hours, and extending to a time not exceeding 1600 hours?). Unfortunately each Keane kid only counts as three-fifths of a person, so their influence on the political process is limited.
GT: “Gee coach, thanks for suggesting the only job I’m good enough for is a miserable, thankless assignment that doesn’t pay. That really helps with my self-esteem and PTSD, right there.”
S.Stout
August 30th, 2012 at 9:31 am
Blondie: Not only was Dagwood’s punchline incredibly weak, he made Blondie wait until he put the pizza on the table, got a plate, poured a glass of water, cut himself a slice, and cut Daisy a slice before he said it.
FC: It’s amazing that those kids can take Jeffy’s staredown and not run away screaming.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:33 am
Nancy – Another celebrity’s dead. Fritzi can experience emotion and blather doggerel at us. All’s right with the world.
Phantom – Scamming you? But she’s a queen! She’s not just a Nigerian princess any more!
Mibbitmaker
August 30th, 2012 at 9:35 am
GT:
Anita: “…he was such an Archie Bunker towards that poor black ma–”
Maeve: “Oh, sod it all — the bloody ‘ell with that ‘Archie Bunker’ rubbish! The correct name to use is Alf Garnett, you silly moo!”
FC (meta): 1980, yes (Kennedy v. Carter), but they were probably talking about Reagan-Ford… or is that way too recent…?
Blondie: Dagwood isn’t into labels, except when he is.
Marc
August 30th, 2012 at 9:35 am
9CL- On display today we have the only two types of men in existence in the McEldowney universe. If you have a dick, you are either a spineless dweeb or a top heavy, gay ballet dancer.
A3G– Sentence structure is important Greg. We get what you’re trying to say but it’s clunky and somehow makes me want to punch you.
Mark Trail- I’m sure am glad that tree branch agrees that it is best to keep the plane grounded for now. But it is struggling with the question of where the hell you can possibly take off and land a plane in an apparently dense and mountainous area.
Mary Worth- Why does Mary always dress like she’s headed to some important business meeting? She’s sitting in her friggin apartment and yet she’s got on her pink sport coat, high society pearls, and only the finest depends.
Funky- Mopey Pete is a manically depressed hoarder. Tell us something we didn’t already know.
Luann- This whole week of strips has had way to much of an incest vibe going. It’s been creepy as hell.
Snuffy- Umm so she didn’t hear Benjamin Button over there in the other room banging the shit out of those pots because she didn’t have her hearing aid in, but was able to hear Loweezy’s reply?
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:37 am
Pluggers don’t realize the kid said she just cacked and peed.
Sally – “Unauthorized Request! Invalid Domain (seattletimes.com).”
I dunno. I think Ces has finally gone too meta.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:38 am
@Erich Clapton (#y237): The Forest Service place I worked at in 1980 had Resusci-Annie for a while (on loan, I presume). I took a rather lifelike photo of her holding a book.
@Dale (#y258): The thing about Sassy is that they weren’t her first owner. They gave her a new name that sounded like the old one so she’d come. Now when they say “Here, Sassy!” she thinks they’re saying, “Here, Gassy!”
Windier E. Megatons
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
The “first ballot” thing may be a Hall of Fame voting reference, since the kids are playing baseball. This also might explain once and for all the freakishly oversized heads of the Keane kids: they’ve taken steroids, the better with which to humiliate their schoolyard sports opposition.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#2): She’s just kind of assuming it’s the de-scented house skunk. I mean, how many skunks can there be in the woods, right?
@pugfuggly (#4): They keep talking about sacrificing Keane kids, but they never seem to get around to it. The last one was Eddie, in 1966 . I still remember how he kept shrieking “Not me! NOT ME!!” [*]
@Baka Gaijin (#10): Ars brevis, vita inhumanum.
AhClem
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
GT – If this is the same Maeve from Between Friends, the usual GT sports insanity will be replaced by six months of her obsessing over whether eating those biscuits will cause her to gain weight.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 9:40 am
@pastordan (#20):
Hey, nobody’s making you read this stuff. Besides, you’re one of us now.
geekwhisperer
August 30th, 2012 at 9:42 am
BlondieAre comic writers all Amish? Do they live in a world devoid of everyday technology? Every freaking tech joke falls flat. Every single one. You’d think that they would stop making them, but they keep them coming as if we can’t all tell how clueless they are. It would be like me doing a standup routine for extradimensional warp-beasts from Centarus A.
ME: “You guys just flew in from Betelgeuse, your airfoil membranes must sure be tired!”
WARP BEAST:”We do not fly, human, we transport via the wormhole network, folding space and time to our will”.
ME: “Did your luggage make it?…Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?”
WARP BEAST: “Destroy him”
Mark B.
August 30th, 2012 at 9:44 am
MT: OMG, it’s the most improbable story line ever. Rusty has got the drop on the criminals, who appear to be even dumber than him. Yeah, don’t use the plane, because that would quickly get you out of there and onto the next wacky caper involving wildlife parts. Makes a whole lot of sense. I could have sworn today’s comic was going to be Rusty stumbling into the bad guys’ cabin and saying “Friend? Can you be my friend? Mark is always away and Cherry smells funny and Doc is just weird, I have no friends.”
TheDiva
August 30th, 2012 at 9:46 am
9CL: Hey, Seth asexually reproduced!
C’shaft: And the sad thing? These memories of Crankshaft being a miserable bastard and hitting his grandkids with baseballs are the ones Pam chose to preserve in her photo album. These are her best memories of her father.
FW: Suck it in, Pete. Darren is the offspring of the Sainted Dead Lisa, he can pretty much say and do whatever he wants. Hell, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t kick you and your printer-paper boxes to the curb so he can move in right away.
Luann: And this has officially progressed from “kind of creepy” to “really uncomfortably creepy.”
MT: “Wow, those illegal hunters who I caught illegally hunting with my camera and who stole my camera so there would be no evidence of their illegal hunting are going into the forest with guns! I wonder why?”
MW: So, the moral of the story is: nearly dying will cure your post breakup blues, and always attend the muster drill. Thanks, Mary Worth!
Pibgorn: TL;DR: “I draw naked people for art, not for sexual arousal! I draw the skimpy clothing for sexual arousal!”
Pluggers: That’s not being a plugger, that’s living with a toddler. It’s a language immersion program.
SM: “If I had eyes, maybe I could see him!”
Stev0
August 30th, 2012 at 9:47 am
Soccer Moms: Putting the MILF in Milford!
seismic-2
August 30th, 2012 at 9:49 am
A3G: “Sorry, Margo, your visitors didn’t tell me their names.” Uh, gee, Carla… isn’t it sort of, you know, your actual paid job to ask them their names before interrupting a meeting to announce that they’re here? Or is that too much trouble? Of course, that meeting is wrapping up anyway, with Margo ready to “call it a day” after a long, productive session of… learning that her client can’t talk to his publicist about what he needs publicized, so he will pay her to do nothing. However, she did inform him that her new associate, who has just shown up for his first day on the job, is very good at it, which so far has consisted in its entirety of barging into a meeting and then leaving. Gee, can I apply for a job at that agency? Sounds like great work if you can get it! And I’m perfectly qualified to work in the A3G-verse, too, because I’m bland, boring, and totally nondescript!
Snarkotix Addict
August 30th, 2012 at 9:51 am
Luann – Pursue your dream, Luann! Move to Australia and never return.
Hey, whaddya know, that’s sort of our dream, too. Win-win!
Dennis Jimenez
August 30th, 2012 at 9:55 am
@Snarkotix Addict (#48): Hey Luann – while you’re there, get an Austrailian kiss – it’s like a French kiss, but they do it down under….
Not Just any Dipstick
August 30th, 2012 at 9:56 am
@Binder’s Butter Beans (#24): Blondie my dear, eating is eating. Right??!!
Lurker Bob
August 30th, 2012 at 9:57 am
GT – Here are my predictions: Good ol’ Maeve has a son in high school who plays Soccer. Gil will happen to see what a leg he has and convince to leave his wussy, girly sport to be a kicker for the manly Mudlarks American Football Team. He sways back and both, cannot make up his mind, finally joins the team and endures good-natured ribbing regarding the differences between American and British culture/language/sports before kicking a winning field goal in an important game. USA! USA! USA!
As an added bonus, we will be treated to at least two days of “This isn’t what I bloody well call football!” befuddlement from our young British hero.
Possibly, some of the local girls will be dazzled by this stranger with his charming accent, resulting in some of the football players becoming jealous of him and trying to derail him.
Did I miss anything???
I am now taking bets. *
* – Actual bets will not be taken. Your experience may vary. Interest rate is based upon your credit scores. Apply liberally to the infected area.
OK! Now that we have that all wrapped up, let’s move on to the spring baseball plot.
Tom D.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Reviewing the old Gil Thorpes just reminded me that the Mary Worth storyline has been going on since July, wow!
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 10:01 am
@seismic-2 (#47): HAR!! And I can never forget that this strip is taking place in NYC, which is apparently the most bland and boring place on the face of the earth. Cowflop, Iowa is more exciting.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 10:06 am
JP — It’s actually pretty cold to put your pet skunk through a cabin window and just count on the uninformed inhabitants not to get angry or panic in such a way that the skunk could get hurt. I don’t like these people.
LUJBEM FEJF
August 30th, 2012 at 10:07 am
Blondie- Has Blondie gotten a boob job? Just wondering.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 10:07 am
@Lurker Bob (#51): Baseball Season? I see a chance for additional wackiness as the yet-unnamed offspring proves to be a double threat, able to be befuddled at both gridiron football and baseball. “I say, this isn’t cricket, you know!” There will be literally furlongs of hilarity!
Jason D.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:09 am
Maeve? Is that a real name? Outside of that one character in the semi-obscure Canadian comic strip “Between Friends”, anyway? (Semi-obscure, because it’s never been referenced here, as far as I know).
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 10:11 am
Hello! What? Oh, sorry. I was in this strange place with all these fake designer shoes and hats and Turkish garage doors, and boner pills. Acres of boner pills.
And now I’m back here. Weird.
Anyway:
BroomHilda: Is it good idea to seek diet advice from a doctor who has the approximate size and shape of a classic VW Beetle?
CtH: The car keys Ed, drop the car keys! (H/T Chas. Addams)
Pibgorn: McE’s right. Life is better with hoo-ha.
Mibbitmaker
August 30th, 2012 at 10:12 am
@Liam (#7):
So, basically, she’s Madonna. Maevedonna?
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 10:12 am
@LUJBEM FEJF (#55): If you guys used Blondie in your strip then there wouldn’t be any room for the Jumble.
Jason D.
August 30th, 2012 at 10:12 am
@Jason D. (#57):
A quick check of the archives reveals…only twice. Both times by Uncle Lumpy, not Josh.
Lurker Bob
August 30th, 2012 at 10:14 am
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#56):
Bloody ‘ell! I hadn’t thought of that! This young British whippersnapper could be the focus for the entire year.
I just had a thought: What if…and I mean “if”…this young Brit is a female? We could cover cross-cultural as well as cross-gender issues at the same time. If the young Mudlark girls still fall for our protagonist, this could make for the most exciting plot line ever!
Dood
August 30th, 2012 at 10:15 am
Blondie: More impressive than Dagwood’s pizza-making skills is Daisy’s adept use of an opposible, well, something, to carefully eat her slice.
debussy fields
August 30th, 2012 at 10:16 am
MW– I liked Dawn better when she moped all the time. And I hated her then.
wossname
August 30th, 2012 at 10:18 am
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#40):
Well, presumably she knows which skunk Bubba shoved through the window. But I am
on tenterhooksmildly curious about how this all fits into their plan to get Avery’s camera or erase the pic of the pot field.Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 10:19 am
@wossname (#65): Trained skunk.
Mibbitmaker
August 30th, 2012 at 10:20 am
@pastordan (#20): Mary Worth turned into a lesbian romance comic so gradually that nobody noticed… [*]
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 10:23 am
Blondie-With the “i-Pizza” you can have pizza anytime you want and none of the fuss and mess of making a pizza yourself. Granted the pizza is digital but that won’t stop people from buying it.
Kip
August 30th, 2012 at 10:25 am
@Marc (#36):
> Luann- This whole week of strips has had way to much of an incest vibe going. It’s been creepy as hell.
… particularly given Luann’s magically plunging neckline from panel one to panel three.
Dood
August 30th, 2012 at 10:29 am
Gil Thorp: Don’t they burn foreigners at the stake during the annual druidic Milford Booster Club Football Bonfire? Will Arn sit idly by while Maeve is thusly led to danger by the Mifordian barbarian horde? Or will Prince Valiant negotiate a peace with the tribal leader Gil of Thorp?
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 10:30 am
GT — I don’t follow this strip because the artwork scares me, so could someone please explain why the team is apparently called the Mudlarks? As has probably been pointed out many times, apologies, a “mudlark” is someone who scavenges in river mud for items of value, especially in London during the late 18th and 19th centuries. In fact I’ve only ever heard the word in reference to the Thames. So what the hell???
Ed Dravecky
August 30th, 2012 at 10:32 am
Finally, Dagwood has invented a pizza that works with apps. And by apps, I mean appetizers. And by works with, I mean he’s going to eat a whole plate of potato skins before devouring that pizza.
Shrug, Speaker to Spam
August 30th, 2012 at 10:33 am
AGNES: Word of the day: “rhino-festooned.” Try to work it into every conversation you have today. Fun for the whole family!
(Maybe AGNES and MARK TRAIL could do a crossover, with the black bear gall-bladder harvester for traditional medicine hunters setting up yet another sideline in rhin horn harvesting for traditional medicine, and getting a hot tip that young Agnes is “keeping a lot of rhinoes in her trailer.” Hilarity ensues.)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Doons and A&J both manage a stiletto vs an anvil today.
LaCuc prefers the anvil. KLANG!!!
Lio: win with Eschersauce, day 3.
Luann: they paved Paradise, and put up a parking lot.
R&R: ROFL!
SBp: isopods!
Bizarro: *gobsmacked with awe* o, well DONE, sir!
DT: heh. even included the scaleshirt.
JP: sounds legit.
JUMBLE: Party in the D!!!!! (Prince Fielder has never seemed so slim, but that is a passibly scruffy Verlander.)
Ghost-who-outsources: hey, that’s Narration Box’s line!
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Love Is . . .Asian massages with a happy ending.
HAnzMFG
August 30th, 2012 at 10:36 am
I’m glad that for once, a comic strip like Blondie can think about making a reference to something trendy, like an “I-PHONE,” and realizes it has nothing interesting or valid to really say about it, so the creator said, “fuck it, forget the joke, here’s Dagwood chowing down on a pizza!”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 10:37 am
@Baka Gaijin (#y153): dang it. I was hoping for Aunt Fritzy in a sailor fuku.
seismic-2
August 30th, 2012 at 10:38 am
@Jason D. (#57): In Prince Valiant Maeve is the daughter of King Arthur’s traitorous half-brother Mordred. She is also married to Prince Valiant’s son Arn, which makes Maeve the mother of Val’s granddaughter Ingrid, who is heir apparent to the throne of Camelot. I think.
Of course, in Milford this new neighbor Maeve is actually Mavis Smith from Akron, who’s just pretending to be British to impress everyone.
Bill Murray
August 30th, 2012 at 10:40 am
Maeve, being an Irish name, means that her kid will be into hurling and Gaelic football. The all-American kids in Mudlark-land will teach him American hurling with Guiness beer
Esther Blodgett
August 30th, 2012 at 10:45 am
JP: House Skunk is the most likable character ever to appear in Judge Parker.
Luann/FW: I’ve decided that Evans and Batiuk edit each other’s work. And by “edit,” I mean they each have a pre-printed stack of memos that read “Perfect! This is not idiotic/dull/improbable/creepy at all! Don’t change a thing!”
Pluggers: Pluggers have dozens of “Rose is Rose” strips featuring inane toddler-speak stuck to their refrigerators because they’re just so precious.
teenchy
August 30th, 2012 at 10:50 am
@Lurker Bob (#51): Last fall GT ran the story arc of a boy on the autism spectrum making the football team as a placekicker. Will he be pushed aside for this import? There’s been some show of continuity in the strip, what with fashion plate Lini Verde on the team for more than one season… I think…
Mibbitmaker
August 30th, 2012 at 10:50 am
9CL: Comedy relief. See, Brooke, THAT’s how you make a comic strip! More of this kind of thing, please? (Oh, who am I kidding? She’ll never know that was Amos, in spite of yesterday’s strip, and just say, “Tsk, tsk… Poor man.” and walk away, leading to more Near-Miss-o-palooza hijinx and the story will plod along with no end…)
Crank: “GOD, we used to be funny then!”
HotC: Those dolls ARE crafty! They froze HotC for a FULL WEEK! (on Darkgate)
Luann: Life doesn’t work that way, Lu — YOU work that way! (or, more precisely, Evans’s writing)
Glibporn (comic): …And now, here’s one from Mac and the Phlogistons!
A magnificent cover tune ~
Wouldn’t you like to fly
in my beau-ti-ful balloon…
GlibCommentary: But isn’t the “hoo-ha” part of the human (female) form?
A New Day
August 30th, 2012 at 10:52 am
@Chareth Cutestory (#14): When did the Bumstead dog develop opposable thumbs? This is the kind of question I don’t want to answer.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 10:55 am
@Poteet (#71): Well, you probably know, or could guess, that “mudlark” also refers to several species of real birds, also sometimes called pipits, who feed by scratching about on the banks of rivers. The human mudlark term you refer to is actually a metaphorical reference to the avian mudlark.
I always assumed that the Milford team was named after the local species of avian mudlark.
// On the other hand, the author could have just opened a dictionary at random, and threw a dart at it.
150
August 30th, 2012 at 11:00 am
Blondie: Just think about how much time passed between the second and third panels. Dagwood removes the hot pizza from the oven. Puts it on the table. Cuts it. Sits down. Takes off his mitts. Gives the dog a slice. Eats. Blondie isn’t reacting to the punchline; she’s startled because Dagwood is blurting “But who cares?” without context, halfway through dinner.
Lurker Bob
August 30th, 2012 at 11:00 am
@teenchy (#81):
Go ahead and spoil all my fun! :-)
How could this still work? Maybe the previous kicker graduated? Maybe the young Brit will be a punter? There has to be some way for this apparently British addition to Milford to be worked into the football team…Maybe he and the previous place kicker will fight to the death? Maybe the soccer coach will come after Gil for trying to poach his players? Perhaps he is a Rugby player and will take to being a linebacker?
Just a small deviation from the plan….
AhClem
August 30th, 2012 at 11:01 am
@Bill Murray (#79):
At least he will have something in common with those of us who read this strip every day.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 11:05 am
True Fable, how do you like them apples?
Bucky haz a point about dogs.
ikkle huskypup. *brainmush*
Charlie Brown and the Electric Kool-Aid.
ermine.
corgsqui.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 11:06 am
@Poteet (#71): I remember that back in the 18th century a “mudlark” was also a term for a pig.
But back to Gil Thorpe. I would imagine they took the name after playing football on a rainy day in the mud before the use of artifical turf.
Ned Ryerson
August 30th, 2012 at 11:06 am
Pluggers (of North Hollywood): Sorry, dear, there’s no more cake.
Can I get you some Wonder bread from the top of the fridge? Then it’s time for your insulin shot!
Naked Bunny with a Whip
August 30th, 2012 at 11:15 am
Kids were definitely smarter in 1980 than they are today, and the fact that I was 10 certainly doesn’t color my judgement.
bats :[
August 30th, 2012 at 11:17 am
MT: Last night I mashed up the Bad Guys going out for giant mouse gallbladders, but apparently I didn’t save it. Well, that was it. Ha ha. Oh, and Rusty wondering why he was always peeking through bushes whenever Bad Guys stole his camera (it’s true!).
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 11:18 am
@Marc (#36) on Mary Worth: I don’t see a problem. When one wears one’s best Depend© Undergarment, one has to wear one’s best outfit. To do otherwise would be like having scones without clotted cream or to fart before Queen Elizabeth. Point of Protocol: The Queen always farts first.
@geekwhisperer (#43) on Blondie: I’d usually agree with your thesis but today’s Blondie emphasizes your premise in a funny way. Dagwood makes an iPizza because everything cool is “iSomething.” What’s funny is he has no idea what makes an iThing an iThing and Blondie calls him on it.
@Mark B. (#44): Was there a de-scented skunk in your version? Hell, is there a fully-scented skunk?
bats :[
August 30th, 2012 at 11:21 am
MW: and as Mary draws inspiration from her own hopeful words, her head and neck emerge from her dress-collar, much like a tortoise feeling the bright, warm sun upon its shell! Life is beautiful!
9CL: meanwhile, in a nearby fishing lodge and/or concert hall…
Dood
August 30th, 2012 at 11:24 am
Judge Parker: I’m surprised that since this is Judge Parker the skunk doesn’t fart rainbows complete with leprechauns and pots-o’-gold or, at a minimum, six-figure advances and guaranteed-to-succeed business plans.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 11:24 am
@wossname (#65): Tenterhooks? I hear they’re on aisle 4 at the Anachronism Emporium between the 6L6GC tubes, teletype machines, and paper hyphenation dictionaries.
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#77): Ha ha. That would just be too perfect, now wouldn’t it.
@Mibbitmaker (#82) on Heart of the City: It works fine on the Gocomics website. The link on the DarkGate links to the old Ucomics website.
Bardelot
August 30th, 2012 at 11:26 am
I know that, as a straight woman, I’m not really in the target market for Blondie, but every time I see that comic I think how weird she looks with her disproportionately pinched-in waist and huge breasts (as well as her unchanging expression-look at those three panels and try to find a difference!).
Illustrator Steve
August 30th, 2012 at 11:26 am
MT – (Rusty): “DOC, DOC! While I was hunting for arrow heads I saw those VILLAINOUS SHEEP KILLERS in a small cabin near the Indian burial mounds! I must now leave the safety of my home to go back there again so Sassy and I can see WHAT they are going to do with the big old guns they are carrying through the woods!”
(Doc): “NO, he’s probably outside!”
(Cherry returns): Doc, WHERE is Rusty? WHY is he not here? The game warden said those sheep killers are dangerous and Rusty should play inside and stay away from all windows and any sharp objects. Have you seen Rusty, Doc?”
(Doc): “NO, he’s probably outside!”
(Cherry): Oh, this is no use, talking to Doc is like talking to an old tree stump! WHERE is Mark!? WHY has he been visiting with Bill Ellis at that darn old magazine office for the past month? I wonder if I should call him.”
(Doc): “NO, he’s probably outside!”
Bill
August 30th, 2012 at 11:31 am
GIL THORP – WITH A NAME LIKE MAEVE, SHE IS IRISH, NOT ENGLISH! THE IRISH CALL THEM BISCUITS TOO! IT’S THE PRODUCT OF CENTURIES OF BEING DENIED THE USE OF THEIR OWN LANGUAGE BY THE OPPRESSIVE ENGLISH!
[Old Man] Muffaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 11:31 am
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#88): Ah, yes. The Brown acid!
@Dood (#95): Definitely COTW material. In fact, it’s up there now.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 11:33 am
@Mibbitmaker (#67): “Oh, Mary, I never dreamed you could be so brutal!”
“Call me Mrs. Worth, young lady—and I have a salmon square I want you to try.”
Ian Beste
August 30th, 2012 at 11:33 am
@Bill (#99): Someone’s got their Irish up.
Rusty Trail
August 30th, 2012 at 11:37 am
@TheDiva (#45): “Wow, those illegal hunters who I caught illegally hunting with my camera and who stole my camera so there would be no evidence of their illegal hunting are going into the forest with guns! I wonder why?”
I’m sorry, you lost me.
Stroker Ace
August 30th, 2012 at 11:37 am
Blondie – …and the Alzheimers Disease begins. No doubt spurred on by massive consumption of processed foodstuffs. Blondie is already thinking about life with the mailman post-Dag.
Rusty Trail
August 30th, 2012 at 11:37 am
@TheDiva (#45): Maybe we could go fishing?
Margo Magee
August 30th, 2012 at 11:40 am
@seismic-2 (#47): I’m sorry, I have reason to believe your qualifications are falsified. That comment was nowhere near as bland as we require in our PR agency.
bats :[
August 30th, 2012 at 11:41 am
@Bill (#99): nah. If she were really Irish, her name would be Méadhbh, or possibly Méadhbhdhb4hdhbhdhéadhbh. (It would still be pronounced Maeve.)
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 11:43 am
@Sequitur (#89): I remember that back in the 18th century a “mudlark” was also a term for a pig.
Minced oath! Just how old are you, anyway?
Cloudbuster
August 30th, 2012 at 11:43 am
@Jason D. (#57): Isn’t there also a Maeve in Prince Valiant? I don’t think there are actual people named Maeve. Well, maybe in Ireland or something, but we all know that’s just a made-up place!
HAnzMFG
August 30th, 2012 at 11:44 am
In 9 Chickweed Lane, Seth summons his black-haired doppelganger to save
Dweeby Dude who is being given a boost by Old Dweeby Dood.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 11:46 am
@bats :[ (#107): *snurk!*
Horace Broon
August 30th, 2012 at 11:50 am
ASM: “We’re here to protect the public! And the best way to do that is to let this clown carry on menacing people and wait for Spider-Man to show up!” Peter’s work ethic is apparently catching.
DT: Oh good grief, aquarium director Arthur Curry even looks like Aquaman! Love it! (Too bad the colouring monkeys didn’t realise the mail shirt should be orange, but aquamarine wasn’t a bad guess.)
GT: An Irish character in Gil Thorpe, eh? I think I’ll just start writing my rant about Celtic stereotypes now, so it’s ready to go when we learn she’s a drunk, or stupid in a whimsical manner, or a member of the IRA.
H&L: Dot and Ditto were looking forward to seeing something be destroyed by a direct hit from a meteor.
geekwhisperer
August 30th, 2012 at 11:51 am
I can’t believe people haven’t heard the name Maeve before.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medb
I, for one, have seen the sunrise while standing atop her tomb. She’s a great character, one of the great strong women of legend. When her husband, the king, says “you should feel lucky to have married a kind” she snips, “What put that into your mind?” Based on that comment she starts a war over a bull that her husband owns (that had been part of her flock, but would not be led by a woman).
She took no shit, Queen Maeve.
bats :[
August 30th, 2012 at 11:52 am
@Horace Broon (#112): but the saddest thing is that the Bad Guys killed Aquaman! Maybe it was only his stunt double…
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 11:54 am
@Nehemiah Scudder (#108): The portal of time is but an illusion we make into our reality.
mollificent
August 30th, 2012 at 11:55 am
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#101): Ewwwwwww. EW EW EW.
@bats :[ (#107): Bwahahahahaha!
@Cloudbuster (#109): For your consideration. :)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 11:58 am
mollificent disapproves.
the flip side of bb,u.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
August 30th, 2012 at 11:59 am
o my!
that was well timed!
*waves to mollificent*
mollificent
August 30th, 2012 at 11:59 am
@mollificent (#116): (Hee hee, just realized the Maeve I linked to is Scottish. Well, lots of cultural crossover there anyway. Plus, geekwhisperer came up with the really good stuff.)
Her biscuit preference, alas, remains undetermined. I’ll ask her in November when she performs at my work. :)
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
@bats :[ (#107): …her name would be Méadhbh, or possibly Méadhbhdhb4hdhbhdhéadhbh.
I think that second possibility is actually Welsh – it’s easy to confuse the various Celtic languages. A good rule of thumb for the English speaker is that if a Gaelic word is pronounceable and spellable, it is Scottish. If it is pronounceable and unspellable it is Irish. And if it is unpronounceable and unspellable, it is Welsh.
mollificent
August 30th, 2012 at 12:00 pm
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#117): HAHAHAHAHA!!! And good memory there!
Calico
August 30th, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Hi Josh and all – actually, in France and here in Quebec we call cookies “biscuits.”
(Voulez-vous un biscuit de chocolat? Par example)
In UK, potato chips are called “Crisps” – in French they are “Croustilles.”
OK, there is your language lesson for today.
(I just heard this young polyglot genius on Radio One – kid started to learn Hebrew before he tuened 13 so he could speak it at his Bar Mizvah, got it in a nutshell in a couple of weeks, and went on to learn at least 10 other languages, incuding Farsi-he said French bored him!
Kids these days …)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#117): Hee. Except most of the parents of my students are wailing and weeping because they won’t be able to helicopter directly over their little darlings any more!
endless sky
August 30th, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Blondie has had the new liposuction procedure that sucks all fat from the rest of her body and pumps it into her bosom. She was hoping for a different kind of Dagwood sandwich, but alas, Dagwood is only interested in food.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
@Sequitur (#115): The portal of time is but an illusion we make into our reality.
Easy for you to say. Did you ever get that TARDIS of yours fixed? I just got my Harbor Freight flyer: Taiwanese knockoff sonic screwdrivers are on sale, and there is a coupon!
LogopolisMike
August 30th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
FC: So based on the jokes they’re making and the timeframe, I guess this means the Keane family is Republican – which is the biggest shock since Ricky Martin came out.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 12:18 pm
@Horace Broon (#112): … when we learn she’s a drunk, or stupid in a whimsical manner, or a member of the IRA.
Why not all three? That would be fun!
J.D. Rhoades
August 30th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
I know Andy Capp doesn’t get a lot of attention here, but I have to say that I’m going to start using “wind yer neck in” a lot more in conversation.
Verbista Oxoniensis
August 30th, 2012 at 12:21 pm
I don’t care what anyone says, punting is a sport — pushing a boat around with a giant metal pole while (generally) drunk and trying desperately not to fall in? Of course you move at a snail’s pace, but at least it’s faster than Gil Thorp.
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
ASM – “Phony funny man?” “Webheaded wonder?” This cop must moonlight as a comic strip author. Assign him to Mark Trail immediately.
MT – Just thought I’d let everyone know that Rusty’s proper name on his birth certificate is Spoor.
A3G – “Ok, Greg. Get the fuck out. Is that better?”
JP – “Maybe, it’s just me, but it feels a bit nipply out tonight.”
MW – Evidently Dawn is becoming a nun. Dave used to date nuns.
RMMD – June, when you say “give her one,” I sure hope you mean a kick in the ass or slap across the face.
DtM – I’m jealous. Mr Wilson still has hair on his legs while mine has migrated to my back. By the way, that reminds me of one of the greatest scenes ever in a movie. Val Avery and Gena Rowland in “Minnie and Moskowitz.” It’s on YouTube. Watch it.
H&L – So, Dot, you never heard of Claudine Longet?
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
@geekwhisperer (#113): We commented on Maeve Binchy’s death quite a bit a couple weeks back. And I STILL confuse her with Iris Murdoch.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 30th, 2012 at 12:29 pm
GT: “Plenty of young cheerleaders around, if you catch my drift. Just don’t get caught.”
Blondie: Don’t sell yourself short, Dagwood. The pizza has to be pretty special if it just gave your dog opposable thumbs.
MT: Where are they going with those rifles? Well, best way to find out is to ask them.
MW: Mary looks like she’s giving herself a nasty case of carpal tunnel. How will that change her views on what’s important?
Ziggy: Stephen King groans and wonders what possessed him to authorize this particular “Christine’ remake.
FW: Whoever said yesterday that Crankshaft used to be meaner and funnier was onto something.
Better Half: Idle hands lead to busy loins, apparently.
9CL: In isolation, the last panel looks like Edda, Seth and NotSeth are watching in horror as a half-decayed zombie rises with a hankering for flesh. One can hope, I guess.
Agnes: Eh, the vagueness on which grade you’re in is pretty common to people in your medium. Nothing to worry too much about.
BSt: Thad looks uncomfortably like a postcoital Avery. He’s not at an abandoned fishing lodge, is he?
JP: Great wine cellar, the skunk won’t spray you, and the proprietress tells you about it with her cleavage exposed. This place has still got to be worth a good four stars on Yelp at least.
RMMD: Demanding stuff from your parents doesn’t necessarily make you creative, although some people get through college without learning this. Hold the bar a little higher, please.
BB: I believe the approved response to Beetle here would be “Drop and give me fifty, maggot!” Sarge needs to go back to Drill Sergeant Drill Camp with R. Lee Ermey.
DT: Arthur Curry looked like his DC Comics namesake too. After that stealth cameo it’s a little hard to get excited about a visit from the horrific cosplay pop group.
6C: You walk in and Amy hands you a bottle of scotch.
S-M: “Let him be. Aside from armed robbery and public endangerment, we’ve got nothing to hold him on.”
M-Dawg: Presumably Marm’s playfulness is why the Missus has her knees pressed together.
A3G: Go with it, Greg. The villagers have finally arrived with torches and pitchforks.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 30th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
@Chaze (#130): re RMMD: Horace Broon may be able to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure “give her one” is British slang for doin’ the nasty. So yeah, in this context a kick in the ass is a lot less horrifying.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#125): The TARDIS is a bit sporatic. It will only travel 300-400 years plus and minus current time. It was built on Darnish-4 but the planet was destroyed 600 years ago when its sun decided to go supernova. Therefore, I can’t go back and have repairs completed. I can’t find a competent TARDIS repairman who knows how to work on a Darnish-4 machine. Stupid TARDIS repairmen on Darnish-4 at the time of catastrophe stood there gawking at the heavens instead of hightailing it out of there.
My sonic screwdriver was made in Switzerland and is finely crafted. It also tells time but that feature is worthless when time traveling except to act as a chronometer and point of reference. It won’t fix a TARDIS.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 30th, 2012 at 12:34 pm
@Horace Broon (#112): Arthur Curry was in his dress jumpsuit when the picture was taken.
Marc
August 30th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#120):
Groundskeeper Willie: “Brothers and sisters are natural enemies! Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!”
Shrug, Speaker to Spam
August 30th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#38):
“The thing about Sassy is that they weren’t her first owner. They gave her a new name that sounded like the old one so she’d come. Now when they say “Here, Sassy!” she thinks they’re saying, “Here, Gassy!” ”
This also explains “Doc,” whose his previous owners had really named “Dork.”
// Well, wouldn’t you have?
Red Greenback
August 30th, 2012 at 12:48 pm
I like to imagine Maeve pronouncing the word as “bis-cue-its” or “throat-warbler mangroves”.
I don’t mean to spoil the fun, but has anyone considered (due to the usual caliber of art in a Gil Thorp strip, and even in spite of maniacal clowns!) that they actually are supposed to be biscuits?
Marc
August 30th, 2012 at 12:50 pm
@Calico (#122): But I bet the language of Hootin Holler would still baffle that kid.
pugfuggly
August 30th, 2012 at 12:51 pm
@Baka Gaijin (#8):
In the ‘biz we call it ‘Evil Eye Concentrate’. It’ll curse an enemy, spawn a demon, and lubricate your evil engine. It a good general purpose dark magic product.
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#9):
Ladies: forget the mace. Just put the patented Rusty Eyeball (R) on your keychain and ward off any unwanted attention from men with one wave of your hand.
Rusty Eyeball and related Rusty products are for defensive purposes only. Never stare directly into the Rusty eyeball or expose it to shall children or pregnant women. Rusty Eyeball Inc. is not liable for any sudden hairloss, blindness, or permanent loss of sexual function as a result of expose to Rusty Eyeball.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 30th, 2012 at 12:53 pm
@Ed Dravecky (#72): There’s a nap for that. (I’ve been waiting to use that one.)
Shrug, Speaker to Spam
August 30th, 2012 at 12:54 pm
@Sequitur (#66):
“Trained skunk.”
I would have said “stunt skunk,” but it’s all good.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 12:55 pm
@pugfuggly (#145): “Rusty Eyeball” sounds like the nickname of an old, retired umpire.
billman
August 30th, 2012 at 12:57 pm
@Red Greenback (#143):
An interesting theory but it was explicitly stated by the characters in the previous 2(?) strips that they were cookies and if the boy wanted his own ‘cookies’ he’d have to make ‘em himself.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
@Shrug, Speaker to Spam (#147): Stunt Skunk is the pet of Colt Seavers. Besides doing stunts he also assisted being a bounty hunter.
pugfuggly
August 30th, 2012 at 1:00 pm
@Sequitur (#148):
‘Ball? It was right over the plate, Rusty Eyeball!’
Yeah, that works for me.
commodorejohn
August 30th, 2012 at 1:01 pm
@Red Greenback (#143): I suppose I wouldn’t rule it out, this being Gil Thorp and all, but the multiple days of discussion over who gets the cookies (yes, really) sort of suggests that they are in fact cookies.
endless sky
August 30th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
@Artist formerly known as Ben (#146): “There’s a nap for that.” What’s that address again for Plugger submissions? This is sure-fire.
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 1:08 pm
So Bea is up in that window, all jiggly and nipply, and Avery is down below, in his boxers that have something akin to an open window in the front of them. Can anyone else see the potential situation here? Just how far can this envelop be pushed. Nipples today, woodies tomorrow?
Red Greenback
August 30th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
@billman (#149): @commodorejohn (#152):
Crikey! I must have dozed off during that important plot development.
Alter Ego
August 30th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
love is… when you’ve got love up the yin-yang. And out the wazoo.
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 1:16 pm
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (earliery#260):
“9CL – So, every male dancer on Chickweed Lane has the overly-muscled frame of a bodybuilder? “
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Hold the horses because they can’t hold themselves!
Not being a reader of 9CL, I can only say I saw one week’s worth that featured someone dancing but you are saying there is not just one male dancer of some sort there are multiple male dancers.
I was feeling pretty darn swell about not knowing what that strip was about and now I think my continued ignorance makes up for all of the stupid comic strips I do read.
And, hey, if 9CL is a cartoon version of “A Chorus Line” or “Fame” or “Yankee Doodle Dandy” or something, fine. But, so many people here virtually gnash their teeth about it, and about LuAnn,too, that I’m thinking I’m doing myself a favor by not reading it. But, really, there’s more than one male dancer?
Good gravy, if the artist could draw well, maybe it would be delightful to witness (but I doubt that is true). But, yumpin’ yiminy! It comes across as being worse and worse every time I read what anyone writes about it.
Now, if there is some form of subtext in it that warns of the End of the World and I’m missing out on that subtext, I’ll be glad to not know when it all ends.
Yup. I’m feeling better about life right now. Allow me to whistle and cross the street without looking both wa…..WHAM!splatZOOOMMM
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 1:18 pm
@Chaze (#154): “Jiggly and Nipply” are their names. They’re breast friends.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2012 at 1:22 pm
@seismic-2 (#78):
Ah, I do seem to remember that now. The local paper hasn’t carried Prince Val in years, and I don’t read more than a handful of Sunday comics online. Probably should check that one out more, as the artwork was always good, even if the writing varied in quality.
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Blondie-”I can charge people three times as much for a regular pizza because I put an ‘i’ in front of it. People nowadays are conditioned to believe that any regular noun with an ‘i’ placed in front of it is a product made by the Apple Corporation and is therefore somehow a superior product.”
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
@Liam (#160):
What? They’re NOT? I’ll just put back this iCondom then.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 1:32 pm
@Sequitur (#134): My sonic screwdriver was made in Switzerland and is finely crafted…. (but)…It won’t fix a TARDIS.
Those Taiwanese sonic screwdrivers are pretty nice, though, with a set of replaceable bits in English, metric, and Gallifreyian standard sizes. And each one comes with molded plastic carrying case. Did I mention there was a coupon?
Dale
August 30th, 2012 at 1:36 pm
@wossname (#6):
Mark Trail – It seems like a long time. I think this is just Rusty’s part of day 2.
Day 1. Rusty goes to take pictures of sheep. Sees killing. Home for telephoto lens. Return to crime scene. Is seen taking pictures. Runs for home. Poachers find him and take camera.
Day 2. Cherry goes to Game Warden. Rusty goes looking for arrowheads.
Snarkotix Addict
August 30th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
MW – “Some of us change our views on what’s important.”
Boy, that’s a relief! It’s merely an act of will.
So, tomorrow, I going to wake up and change a view. Or two. Let me put that on my calendar.
Calico
August 30th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
@LogopolisMike (#126):
I’m still waiting on Randy Travis, myself.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
@pugfuggly (#145): It’s a shame you can no longer buy Rusty Eyeball™ on eBay!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
@Chaze (#154):
Yes. And now I can’t unsee it.
Damn you.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#162): Gallifreyian. Hmmm. That’s very close to Darnish-4 standards. But can it be used as a swizzle stick?
//Did you mention something about a coupon that’s available?
Northern lurker
August 30th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
MT: I’m disappointed by the lack of professionalism shown by the poachers.
“There’s black bears in the area. Let’s see if we can bag a couple.”
Where’s the night vision goggles and all the other high-tech stuff?
Wheres the business plan?
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 1:43 pm
JP: What a coinky-dink! This is Sam, our House Lawyer, he’s been eunuchized!
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 1:45 pm
@Dale (#163): Could actually still be Day 1, though, couldn’t it? I’m thinking that what you have as Day 1, is just “before lunch”.
Joey Lima Bean
August 30th, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Why take it off when as soon as he’s done with this pizza, he’s going to bake another? And another, and another, and then maybe a calzone or stromboli or four, eight or nine panini, then a cake or six, 10-12 score cookies, and a couple (dozen) pies and finally, when there are no more foodstuffs in the house, a box of Shrinky Dinks from the 1970s, since discontinued because they bear the likenesses of fast food items.
Calico
August 30th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Henry – wow, this is a new twist on mercury poisoning from eating tainted fish.
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Luann: So we go from the Quill scenario to an intro to the never controversial topic of incest?
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 1:53 pm
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#167): Anytime, Babe, anytime. Always happy to be of service.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
@Sequitur (#168): Coupon, sure! And don’t forget the molded plastic carrying case!
// Look for the “Pittsburgh” brand name. All Harbor Freight’s Taiwanese tools are Pittsburgh brand.
// This week they are also offering 3 ton heavy duty jackstands for only $14.99 with coupon (limit 6 per customer). You’ll want to get that TARDIS securely up on jacks before you go under the hood.
Alison
August 30th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
“Luann”: I have the perfect plan. I know exactly how Tiffany can finally become appreciated. She should move out of town! After a few days, Luann will be crying over it and saying, “I never realized what a good friend Tiffany was. Now that she’s gone, I’m miserable!” Luann is painfully fickle, Tiffany. Use it.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#84): Alas, after reading what’s below, I’m still confused. Also, I know and communicate with some really enthused (make that “crazed”) birders, including one guy who’s obsessed with shorebirds, and have never heard “mudlark” in reference to a bird. But very likely the term is used in other parts of the country, or maybe that’s the magpie-lark part.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mudlark_(disambiguation)
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 2:02 pm
@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#9):
“MT: Hm, what would Rusty Eyeballs be used for?
I’m thinking puke-ular weapons. (in a size that makes it easy to use in a slingshot)
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
@Poteet (#178): Or more likely it’s an English term for a pipit, right? I should have thought of that. I think it’s a rather odd name for an American sports team, though Maeve may like it.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 2:08 pm
@Poteet (#180): Also, as a nature ranter, I feel compelled to point out that pipits are attractive and appealing little birds that serve a useful purpose in the world. None of that applies to any of the hideous denizens of Milford that I have ever seen.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
@Poteet (#181): Let’s see, alternative team names… Mudblumps. Mudmistakes. Mudfools. Mudlosers. Okay, I’m done.
Calico
August 30th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
@Jason D. (#57):
Helen Gallagher played matriarch Maeve Ryan from 1975-1989 on Ryan’s Hope, one of the wackiest soaps ever. I believe Helen is still with us; sadly, he fellow actor Bernie Barrow (Johnny Ryan) passed away in 1993 or so, as did a couple of other cast members.
(Phun Phact-Mary Ryan is none other than Captain Janeway, aka Kate Mulgrew!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3KXl_8zIAY
Peanut Gallery
August 30th, 2012 at 2:16 pm
@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#27): Denny Zen O’TheDeep was recently sighted on a hot date with Stella C. Lion. He took her out to hear their favorite band, Davey Jones Locker and The Full Fathom Five.
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
@S.Stout (#33):
“…he made Blondie wait until he put the pizza on the table, got a plate, poured a glass of water, cut himself a slice, and cut Daisy a slice before he said it.”
Dude, he gave the dog a slice and is making his wife stand and watch him eat.
kkarenb
August 30th, 2012 at 2:20 pm
FC – Billy obviously learned that from watching the Huntley-Brinkley coverage last night.
Mark Trail – After they went to all the trouble of stealing Rusty’s camera, the poachers have not bothered to check to see if the memory card is in it. For some reason, this bothers me.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 2:22 pm
@Poteet (#178): From Websters Third: “Mud lark 2.a. PIPIT b. Any of various birds (as the meadowlark or the shoveler) that live in moist places. c. the Australian magpie lark.”
The usage seems to be mostly British or, as in 2.c., Australian.
So probably GT’s Mudlarks were named by a stochastic process, such as I suggested earlier.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
@kkarenb (#186): S-M: After they went to all the trouble of becoming NYC police officers, these two guys have not bothered to shoot Clown-9. For some reason, this bothers me.
Pamster
August 30th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
@Sequitur (#148): I thought Rusty Eyeball was a variant of a Bloody Eyeball martini http://www.whattodrink.com/drinkrecipes/10935-bloody-eyeball-martini.asp
commodorejohn
August 30th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
A&J – Heh.
Blondie – “Well, I guess it isn’t different from a regular pizza, but I can charge a lot more for it.”
DT – “Why would anyone want to kill him?” Resentment over The Superfriends, for one.
FW – Ah, the Funkiverse, where every character exists to be needlessly cruel to every other character, in a sort of cruelness ritual that expresses the fundamental, heavens-spanning cruelty of the universe at the hand of its actively malevolent creator. Om.
GT – How do you pronounce that, anyway? “Mauve?” “Mave?” “Mah-eeve?”
JP – So, uh, any of you ladies out there normally wear what appears to be a low-cut, V-neck tube top under your bathrobes at the end of a long, hard day of not running an inn? I presume the clenching of the bathrobe so as to highlight the mammoth breasts is intentional, but that just goes to show that she doesn’t know Sam very well.
Luann – D:
Mandrake – …what.
MT – Is this whole storyline going to consist of Rusty having his innocence destroyed as he bears witness to one needless animal killing after another? Boy, do I hope so!
MW – The position of her other arm…oh God, she’s typing one-handed! AUGH!!!
OBH – “Big Ed’s Rehab.” Man oh man do I want to see what this involves. Do they offer discounts?
Phantom – “She’s scamming us! For more money! Stay tuned! …oh, sorry, I read the line for the narration box there. Should we do another take, or can we edit that out in post?”
Pluggers – So every parent ever (and many an older sibling) is a Plugger?
PC – Hey, it’s better than campaigning in northwest Wisconsin. Marginally.
RMMD – So when is the strip going to get around to openly acknowledging Sarah’s Village of the Damned nature?
Shoe – Lord help me, I laughed at Shoe today.
SM – You know what, better them protecting the public than Spider-Man.
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
@Naked Bunny with a Whip (#91):
Kids were definitely smarter in 1980 than they are today, and the fact that I was 10 certainly doesn’t color my judgement.
Perish the thought!
Why back then I got my McFarter Grant and subsequently did a lot of valuable research that I think made the world a smellier place.
So, to me you speak the truth.
Mr. Ray
August 30th, 2012 at 2:48 pm
Family Circus: It’s almost touching how Billy honestly believes in the Kompound’s sham democracy. “Daddy is the Leader ’cause we all voted. He’s so good that no one ran against him.”
Blondie: So Dagwood shares his pizza with his dog, but not his wife? Someone’s going to be sleeping in the doghouse, while Blondie cries in her bed, alone.
KreatureFeatures
August 30th, 2012 at 3:00 pm
@Flonatin of Bologna (#13):
The AJGLU-400 must have downloaded the setup off some dusty old reel-to-reel tapes.
When was the last time you saw a teen sitting on a park bench reading a newspaper?
Cloudbuster
August 30th, 2012 at 3:05 pm
@mollificent (#116): Clearly a hoax. Listen to that outrageous fake accent! Scotland, like Ireland is not a real place. This is a persistent myth fostered by the people at Disney. In a fit of mischevious genius, they created food booths at Epcot Center for some of the fantasy realms from Disney films, and to this day many people are led to believe that places like “Ireland,” “Scotland” and “China” are actual places. Scotland’s claim to reality is even flimsier than Ireland’s as quaint “Scottish” characters have to share space in the United Kingdom food booth. (We have it on good authority that the United Kingdom is actually a real place, because the Monty Python troupe and Dr. Who come from there!).
// We do, however, believe in fairies. It would be cruel and dangerous to fairies to even suggest otherwise.
Ed Dravecky
August 30th, 2012 at 3:07 pm
“Hey, I just moved next door to you and…”
“This is crazy, but here’s some biscuits.”
“Call me Maeve.”
(I know, I know, but it wasn’t coming out of my head until I shared it. You’re welcome.)
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
@Cloudbuster (#194): I’ve become wise to that scam as well. I am theoretically of Irish descent so imagine my shock when I found our my father was from San Leandro, CA and his father was from Sioux City, IA! Iowa, not Ireland! No need to go back much further ’cause then we’d be butting up against the dawn of intelligent design!
Cloudbuster
August 30th, 2012 at 3:14 pm
@Sans Sense (#196): Precisely! The entire scam falls apart when you look at it critically.
Hibbleton
August 30th, 2012 at 3:16 pm
@Liam (#160):
You Linux guys and your iPenis envy.
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 3:18 pm
@Cloudbuster (#197): Just like Ponzi schemes, the moon landing and Nick Cage’s career.
Winnie
August 30th, 2012 at 3:21 pm
@kkarenb (#186): MT: Memory card?? Do you think this is some futuristic Sci-fi drama set in 1999? Rusty’s camera uses good old-fashioned film, like God intended.
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 3:25 pm
MW-Mary is eager to begin her reconditioning of Dawn.
Spiderman-Peter isn’t grimacing over the cop’s attitudes. He’s grimacing over having to hold the camera the way he is. That must be doing a number on his wrists.
JP-”De-scented”? I don’t care about the skunk’s family and where it came from I want to know how they are going to get rid of it.
Pluggers-Is it asking for more crack?
Dennis Jimenez
August 30th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
@Peanut Gallery (#184): Cap’n Geech & The Shrimp Shack Shooters….
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Curtis-It’s either that or spend the night in the basement with the creepy super listening to his stories about what’s wrong with the world and praying that he doesn’t have his way with you.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 3:34 pm
@Pamster (#189): Maybe a combination of a Rusty Nail and a Bloody Eyeball. It could be called a Bloody Rusty Eyeball with a Nail. Sweet vermouth with scotch, bourbon or rye with an olive and toothpick.
Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
August 30th, 2012 at 3:37 pm
@commodorejohn (#190): I read your Shoe review. Ha!
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 3:42 pm
@Cloudbuster (#194): Now wait a second. I’ve been to Scotland and it was very, very real I tell ya.
No, wait. That was Pittsburgh. Never mind.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 3:43 pm
@Sequitur (#204): Rusty Eyeball: I was thinking a Rusty Nail (Drambuie & Scotch) with a raw egg yolk in it.
Yes, I know. But as a hangover cure?
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 3:44 pm
@Sequitur (#206): No, no. Pittsburgh is actually Taiwan – I was explaining that to you before!
// Some people just don’ listen.
Poteet
August 30th, 2012 at 3:45 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#187): Ah, thank you. Obviously I should have checked the dictionary first.
I gotta say that second definition is weirdly broad. Even the denizens of A3G could probably distinguish a perching bird from a duck.
Patrick
August 30th, 2012 at 3:49 pm
@Liam (#160): They’ll even pay extra to buy it when it first comes out, or to get it in white instead of black. The only difference is this is pizza we’re talking about, so getting it fresh and not black are completely justified reasons to pay extra.
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 3:53 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#208): So we are in a dispute with China over Pittsburgh? Keep the Steelers, give them the Pirates and those horrible Western PA wines.
Shrug, Speaker to Spam
August 30th, 2012 at 4:03 pm
@Poteet (#182):
The Milford Milfoil?
Droopy Says
August 30th, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Spider-Bland: “Where is Spiderman–what am I saying? Where’s Superman, or Batman, or Iron Man, or at least some superhero who knows what he’s doing? Hell, I’d settle for Roadrunner! If anyone could trick these two geniuses into running off a cliff with an anvil, he’s your hero!”
Dennis Jimenez
August 30th, 2012 at 4:09 pm
@Honey Badger, Does not give a shit (#205): Dear diary – I read Shoe today and it made me laugh – to summarize – read Shoe, diary….
Dale
August 30th, 2012 at 4:14 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#171):
Mark Trail – I think there was a conversation like -
Doc: Where are you off to this morning?
Rusty: The Indian mounds to look for arrowheads.
Doc: The Indian mounds are a good place to look for arrowheads.
As a practical matter, it would have taken the poachers most of the day to finish the butchering, pack the booty out, and locate Rusty.
BUT, in the world of Mark Trail, concepts of time and distance
are like the square root of negative pi.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
August 30th, 2012 at 4:31 pm
@Dale (#215):
Mmmmmm. Imaginary square root pi. Drool……
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
August 30th, 2012 at 4:31 pm
@TheDiva (#45): Re: Pibgorn: I’m still trying to determine whether McE knows what “hoo-ha” is slang for, and whether his knowing makes this more or less creepy.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#208): Pittsburgh (Taiwan)! Where the Allegheny meets the Lanyang!
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Skunk scent glands have to be right up there with ginseng root and bear gallbladders as aphrodisiacs. And right now Avery would suck those glands out of a fully scented skunk’s butt to be able to run up those stairs and nail Bea.
But then, of course, I couldn’t imagine Avery going anywhere without a year’s supply of Viagra.
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 4:40 pm
@Chaze (#219):
How romantic!
Marc
August 30th, 2012 at 4:41 pm
@Sans Sense (#211): Let them take the Penguins too. I’m tired of Sidney Crosby.
Rocky Stoneaxe
August 30th, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Josh: Dagwood has gone through all the trouble of baking a pizza in an oven, and yet he’s still leaving his hat on while he eats. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does.
Fidel Castro’s wife (or maybe it was his girlfriend, I forget which) used to complain that he always wore his army boots when they had sex. By comparsion, keeping your hat on while eating is a minor faux pas.
Sans Sense
August 30th, 2012 at 4:46 pm
@Marc (#221): I don’t always Crosby, but when I do I prefer Bing.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
@Dale (#215): Good catch. I had forgotten that “where are you off to this morning?”. I suppose it is theoretically possible to fit all that into one very long morning… But that would suppose that our poacher friends flew the airplane out, shot the sheep, stole the camera, and are now out gunning for bears in the same period. (Where’s that sheep carcass now, I wonder? Do they have a large freezer in the cabin? A generator to run it with?)
// Regular dynamos! No wonder they are well known IN law enforcement. What cop could keep up? What’s their secret? Red Bull? Bear gallbladders?
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 4:55 pm
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#216): Imaginary square root pi. Drool……
Enjoy! The calories are imaginary too!
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 4:56 pm
@Sans Sense (#223): Stay crooning, my friend.
Peanut Gallery
August 30th, 2012 at 4:57 pm
@Mr. Ray (#192): Dagwood will be in the doghouse, but Blondie won’t be alone.
Dale
August 30th, 2012 at 5:09 pm
@Winnie (#200):
MT – There was a memory card. Which is why there was no reason to not e-mail the pictures to the authorities. That’s plural. Are they still looking for the sheriff’s phone number?
SurrealKangaroo
August 30th, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Since at least five to ten minutes had passed in between panels two and three of Blondie, I think that Blondie is reacting to Dagwood saying “But who cares?” seemingly at random. She probably think he is having a stroke brought on by the 10,000 calories he eats a day.
Uncle Lumpy
August 30th, 2012 at 5:16 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#125), @Sequitur (#168):
I love love love me some Harbor Freight tools: they always need to be fixed — tape the couplings, Loctite the fasteners, tighten the electrical connectors, reinforce the spindly legs, weld anything that won’t need to come apart for service — and then they run forever. Twice the fun!
Check them out on Toolmonger.com. And kiss your afternoon goodbye!
bats :[
August 30th, 2012 at 5:18 pm
@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#117): I’m waiting for the day after Labor Day, when we see the gazillionth iteration of FC’s Jeffy in his pajamas at the door with Mommy, waving Dolly and Billy gleefully on their way to school.
Droopy Says
August 30th, 2012 at 5:22 pm
@Dale (#228): The operator couldn’t put through the call to the sheriff, so Cherry and Doc will send a telegram through Western Union. (They’d use Pony Express, which has a nearby station, but five bucks for a half-ounce letter is awful pricey.)
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 5:22 pm
@Uncle Lumpy (#230):
Sí, esas herramientas están locos!
Sequitur
August 30th, 2012 at 5:25 pm
@bats :[ (#231): Ida know, not me!
commodorejohn
August 30th, 2012 at 5:29 pm
@Dale (#228): Maybe it’s just that, like 90% of digital-camera owners, Rusty does not have the slightest clue that you don’t send the 2048×1536 max-quality JPEG direct from the memory card, and his attempt to upload a 12MB file over the Trails’ 2400-baud dial-up connection keeps timing out.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
@Uncle Lumpy (#230): I use HB a lot, all kidding aside. They are very cheap, and if their stuff doesn’t break in the first few days of use, it will probably last forever. To their credit, when their stuff does break, they’ll refund your money without a whimper.
// Keep your receipts.
Nehemiah Scudder
August 30th, 2012 at 5:56 pm
@Nehemiah Scudder (#236): Should have been “HF”, as in Harbor Freight.
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 6:13 pm
@Sequitur (#220): Yeah, Avery is a romantic cuss. As in cuss skunk.
TheDiva
August 30th, 2012 at 6:18 pm
@commodorejohn (#190): So every parent ever (and many an older sibling) is a Plugger?
Like the Borg, Pluggers will not rest until they have assimilated every other life form in existence.
Glen
August 30th, 2012 at 6:31 pm
Josh:
“Will Maeve take the pram to the lift on the telly in the boot or whatever?
David Letterman, Top 10 Things Dennis Thatcher Will Miss, November 23, 1990:
“7. Taking the lift up to the flat or the pram or the telly or whatever the hell they call it.”
Coincidence? …well, yeah, maybe. But isn’t sharing random obscure trivia part of the point here? Or at least commiserating with other people whose brains randomly, unexpectedly spit out said trivia?
Morgan Wick
August 30th, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Actually, I used to find myself watching C-SPAN nearly all day, and I found some of the parlimentary procedure fascinating – even if I also found it hilarious that they have to keep saying “if the gentleman will yield…” to have what normal people would consider a normal conversation.
Chuck
August 30th, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Ironically, Dagwood has demonstrated how Apple released the iPhone 4S. How is the iPhone 4S different from the iPhone 4? Who cares! Let’s make a big deal out of it anyway!
seismic-2
August 30th, 2012 at 7:08 pm
@Baka Gaijin (#15): Who’s that “The Most Annoying Mascot in the World?”
I suppose no one answered that question (even though at least a couple of other comments today have alluded to this same advertising campaign, just by happenstance). Today’s Bizarro punchline refers to the iconic last line spoken by “The Most Interesting Man in the World” in a series of TV commercials aired in the USA for Dos Equis beer, such as this one. I must admit that I laughed at this strip, perhaps because it is especially well drawn in the way it shows the exasperated look of “There he goes again!” that the other “mascots” at the bar are giving to each other.
Anonymous
August 30th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Blondie: Look at my breasts! Look at my breasts! Look, look, look at my breasts! Looooooook at my breasts!
I think Blondie is mostly shocked to see her husband fapping at the table while he opens wide for his first love. Or possibly it’s just that her mouth doesn’t close because she’s a love doll.
I wonder how many hours the artist spent working out her exact pose. “If I turn her too much this way, you can’t see both her breasts clearly. But if she stands this way, you can’t see her ass. Maybe in between . . . damnit! Now her stupid arm is obscuring that luscious 14-inch waist. Hmm . . . is there any reason she has to have arms?” Ten minutes later, he angrily slams down the receiver on his retrofitted Bakelite phone. “Damn syndicate nancyboys! Fine, I’ll just have her walk around with them bent like so . . . oh yeah, that’s it, baby . . .”
demoncat
August 30th, 2012 at 7:35 pm
mw what the lesson is mary is thinking is we still should work better on hiding ourselves asking for advice espically when its dawns own fathers advice colum since dawn is the writter of the letter mary is thinkng about plus dawn needs a new make over. rm june is forced to admit sarah has developed the skills of a saleman to get what she wants and is going to wind up giving her that cell yet
demoncat
August 30th, 2012 at 7:37 pm
fc. billy and jeffy are going to have to come out and tell their friends they failed to get the votes to play since learning of how the outside world operates including politics is forbidden for the sake of the world in the keane compound
bourbon babe, unbuckled
August 30th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
@Sequitur (#206): I’ve been to Scotland, and I swear it was real. It was where I got my tattoo. (I call it my Edinburgh Tattoo.) (Badum-bump.)
@bats :[ (#231): In my brain, your comment has somehow turned Family Circus into a play by Samuel Beckett.
Zerowolf
August 30th, 2012 at 7:48 pm
@commodorejohn (#y200): You’re quite welcome. Comic’s Curmdgeons: cheaper than a trip to Sweden, if you know what I mean.
Zerowolf
August 30th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
A3G: She is, but the comic censors won’t allow “Get the fuck out of my face before I tear your head off and shit down your throat, you box of bologna.”
commodorejohn
August 30th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
@Zerowolf (#248): Well, the price is right, but the results are somewhat less than impressive…
BobtheBobber
August 30th, 2012 at 7:56 pm
FC: Wow, you folks (especially Josh) need to pay closer attention to GI Thorpe or something. This is OBVIOUSLY a reference to the Baseball Hall of Fame voting process (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_hall_of_fame). The fact that Billy thinks he is a “First Ballot” candidate for anything besides the Children With Big Heads Hall OF Fame is the “funny” part.
Señor Tortilla
August 30th, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Dennis the Menace – NO ONE has commented on Mr. Wilson’s placement of the garden hose?
JP – Ten bucks says Conrad’s not de-scented and gives Avery a load of it when he returns.
MT – “Something’s up here, Sassy: as soon as I approached the poachers, my face turned practically human!”
Liam
August 30th, 2012 at 8:04 pm
@Hibbleton (#198):
I like Microsoft’s version of the penis. (pun intended)
The Ridger
August 30th, 2012 at 8:22 pm
@Poteet (#71): It’s also a bird.
The Ridger
August 30th, 2012 at 8:23 pm
@teenchy (#81): GT actually has tons of continuity. Sometimes they follow a kid through all four years of high school. Sometimes they come back after college, even. They’ll remember place-kicker kid, even if I don’t.
Archivalist
August 30th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Hey, Maeve, judging by the hand motion that “Anita Visci” is making there, I don’t think those are “sugar” cookies. Time to get out of Milford, you Limeys.
Chaze
August 30th, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Mah keck peez, Maeve.
pastordan
August 30th, 2012 at 9:32 pm
@Sequitur (#42): One of us!! One of us!! Gabba gabba hey!!
pastordan
August 30th, 2012 at 9:35 pm
@Mibbitmaker (#67): Well, we’re okay on lesbian-themed comic strips in the UCC. We like lesbians, too.
Baka Gaijin
August 30th, 2012 at 9:59 pm
@seismic-2 (#243): Thanks. I hadn’t seen that commercial as I don’t live in the US nor have a television. Life is brutal.
crazy fungus
August 30th, 2012 at 10:30 pm
53 Poteeet: hey, I’m from cowflop, IA. I matriculated from cowflop state. With one hand
crazy fungus
August 30th, 2012 at 10:34 pm
236 sudsy nematode- and, unlike Lance Armstrong… I’ve NEVER BEEN CAUGHT
crazy fungus
August 30th, 2012 at 10:39 pm
#212 slug the speaker with spam- MALFORMED milford milfoil. in millions of mill-ponds
odinthor
August 30th, 2012 at 10:40 pm
@Baka Gaijin (#260):
I live in the U.S., do have a TV, and I too was mystified…possibly because 99% of my viewing on the set is comprised of DVDs of movies (most recent: Trouble in Paradise). Oh, well…
Advertising mascots live by their rules, not ours.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
August 30th, 2012 at 11:09 pm
@commodorejohn (#190): Pluggers – So every parent ever (and many an older sibling) is a Plugger?
Nah, just the ones stupid or insular enough that they confuse being able to understand baby babble with being bilingual.
Tophat
August 30th, 2012 at 11:32 pm
Hahahaha, oh that Dagwood! Always eating- OH HOLY SHIT PREHENSILE DOG TENTACLE OH GOD OH GOD
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 11:50 pm
@Señor Tortilla (#252):
I’ll begrudgingly one up you on Mr. Wilson’s limp hose, with the awesome, dripping hose of Popeye and…well, the….ground…into which… he is likely going to stick the hose.
tallyHO
August 30th, 2012 at 11:55 pm
@pastordan (#258):
I like the Ramones. They are alright.
But, the movie “Freaks” ….whew….it got to the point when I just turned off the TV.
Mind you, I could have just changed the channel. But, nope. I just turned off the TV and ruminated on how to scrub my memory that I ever saw that movie. So far, yeeeears later, still no luck.
I can forget where I put my keys, but I can’t forget that.
Mr. Ray
August 31st, 2012 at 12:08 am
@Peanut Gallery (#227): Now I’m picturing Dagwood and Daisy cuddling in bed while Blondie turns her back.
Poteet
August 31st, 2012 at 12:10 am
MT and MW, I am begging you. Call off your secret competition for Least Realistic Dialogue. You are both winning, and you’re breaking my brain.
Dariaclone
August 31st, 2012 at 12:11 am
There was the potential for drama at the 84 Democratic convention, too. Mondale didn’t technically have enough votes to win and Jackson was still a threat. I recall this because my mom, staunchly R, wouldn’t let this 11-year-old stay up to watch the voting. She promised I could watch the republican convention instead. That of course lacked any drama with Reagan as the incumbent and I remind her of this story every four years.
sp0tlessmind
August 31st, 2012 at 12:21 am
Dagwood’s hat is less of a concern then the evident thumbs the dog must be using to eat that pizza. It simply confirms that the dog truly is what it looks like, an anemic midget in a homemade, canvas sack, dog disguise. This also explains why the dog generally responds more emphatically than Dagwood ever does (consider Dag’s son’s news about the girlfriend). Perhaps the hat was crafted by the midget as a mind control device, conveniently left around the house and Dagwood couldn’t resist. Phase 1: Sustenance for more plotting. Phase 2: Hole is already dug in the backyard for my “master’s” desecrated remains. Phase 3: What is his wife’s name?
tallyHO
August 31st, 2012 at 12:36 am
@sp0tlessmind (#272):
So you are saying it is like that Rat from the movie “Ratatouille”? Dagwood was acting out….wait a second….hold on now!
Put down the phone and call Aunt Petunia to tell her to hang up the phone and tell her dog, Sprinkles, to pick up the phone and call Uncle Balderdash to tell him to hightail it from the saloon and go to a modern day watering hole because it is the 21st Century for Pete’s Sake and tell him to order a Rusty Eyeball and then ask him to tell us if this sounds like something he sees:*
Maybe the reason why Dagwood refers to it as an “iPizza” and the reason why he doesn’t know why he is calling it “iPizza” can be easily explained by some “App” that Daisy downloaded and is using on her….her iBone?….and was using that App to get Dag to make a pizza AND to feed her before he even bothers offering a slice to his wife.
Insidious!
//*crap i momentarily forgot what I was going to write. it took about a minute to recall where i wanted to take that.
Droopy Says
August 31st, 2012 at 12:40 am
Spider-Bland: If Lieber and Lee would watch “Dumbo”, they’d realize that mice and elephants get along quite well. Maybe Mark Trail can take a break from his visit to his publisher and explain things to them.
FU, W: The mounting dramatic tension defies description. Will someone get pizza grease on one of the comic books? Will a purchaser go ballistic when he discovers mildew in his copy of “Spiderman Picks His Nose”? Will two of the buyers come to blows over the age-old question of “Are they comic books or graphic novels, you beefwit”? Will anything actually happen? Now you see why the tension defies description.
Mock Trail: Rusty’s hairline looks so unnatural–can it be? Is he wearing a toupee? Is Rusty in fact bald? Go to it, Fists o’ Justice, rid the world of the evil mutant!
FC: Oh, Billy, your eyes make everyone tired.
Pluggers: As we all suspected, Pluggers have more tha a few loose screws.
tallyHO
August 31st, 2012 at 12:45 am
@Droopy Says (#90):
Hey Droopy,
Whu Happened?
our comments shouldn’t be from earlier today….unless…there was a time warp and nobody told me! Dangit!
First I miss the meteor shower! Then I find out man has been to the moon! Then I find out there is an election year going on! And, now I find out there was a Time Warp???
Does this mean I’ve already missed the Blue Moon, too? Or, can I look forward…to missing it twice!?!
I swear!
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
August 31st, 2012 at 12:58 am
@tallyHO (#91): Okay, I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who imagined a whole thread of comments earlier in the day!
tallyHO
August 31st, 2012 at 1:08 am
@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#123):
What’s funny is that I reloaded the page and your comment was marked as #92, right after mine. The page continued to load and by the time I finished reading your comment, every other one from earlier today popped up, replacing yours.
I had a Shaggy Zoinks + Panicky Dino the Dinosaur moment there!
Uncle Lumpy
August 31st, 2012 at 1:21 am
@tallyHO (#218), @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#219):
Argh, sorry — I thought I was on the “pending spam” page when I clicked “select all” and “delete”, but I was actually on the main comments page. Should be fixed now.
FYI, post numbers will be comically screwed up, but the links will work.
tallyHO
August 31st, 2012 at 1:40 am
@Uncle Lumpy (#221):
That’s cool. I figured you were fixing it and that is why the mysterious order of things was happening.
But, once I realized it done broke, I also realized, Crap! I bet Uncle Lumpy has to fix that.
So, thanks for restoring those comments. And, for restoring my faith. Now I know that there was no Time Warp.
If there had been one and no one told me about it that would have been an existential dilemma of epic proportions. (I prefer a large piece of pizza to that.)
//wait a second! does the dog have an iBone? Is that why I’m craving pizza and he’s licking his chops AND giving me the thumbs up?
Jinkies!
Uncle Lumpy
August 31st, 2012 at 1:46 am
@tallyHO (#222):
Well, there is a Time Warp, of course — I just hid it.
Droopy Says
August 31st, 2012 at 2:11 am
@tallyHO (#270): At least the history books no longer say that Nedeljko Chabrinovic killed the Archduke and his wife.
mollificent
August 31st, 2012 at 2:16 am
@Cloudbuster (#189): I like the cut of your jib, sailor. :)
Baka Gaijin
August 31st, 2012 at 2:44 am
@Uncle Lumpy (#275): Great. After I cussed out ISP’s from Russia to Hawaii, I find out it was a site issue. I have a whole heap of apologies to make in a whole heap of languages.
Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
August 31st, 2012 at 3:25 am
@Poteet (#265): “If we can shoot a couple of bears we can sell their parts on the black market” has to be one of the least likely phrases ever. Its complete stupidity is almost admirable.
Baka Gaijin
August 31st, 2012 at 3:35 am
@Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#279): On top of that, being the end of the summer, most bears are going to be in a frenzy to get in the last-minute eating in preparation for hibernation. This is not the time to go into bear country, armed or not. It’s arguably what ultimately got the Grizzly Man.
Of course, Rusty will have no problem out in the woods. He has one of the most effective bear repellents ever made: his own face.
Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
August 31st, 2012 at 3:44 am
“If we can shoot a couple of bears, we can sell their parts on the black market!”
“Alright, Bob, I got it! Jesus! You’ve told me fifty fucking times! And I hate when you say “the black market.” You sound like some cheesy comic from 1954!”
There follows two minutes of awkward silence. Finally,
“Yeah, uh, let’s find us some bears!”
“Fuckin A”
Liam
August 31st, 2012 at 6:55 am
MW-And isn’t that the most important thing helping ourselves.
Gil Thorp-You can’t be a junior. You’re a junior if you are named after your father.
Blondie-Did you fall down the stairs and walk into doors at work again? You are very accident prone in that office.
Spiderman-The elephant will panic and hopefully it will crush Clown-9 saving Spiderman from having to do anything.
MT-This bit of expositionary dialog is being provided for any little boys who are hiding within earshot that are hoping to stop us big bad poachers.
A3G-What is up with Margo’s hostile attitude towards this guy?
gleeb
August 31st, 2012 at 6:59 am
‘bean: When you know big players like Funky and Creepy Les Moore, you can block off alleys and create a fire hazard just to sell off your old crap to Owen the Idiot and assorted anonymous teens.
gleeb
August 31st, 2012 at 8:19 am
Gil: “What you call a junior”. Yeah, these folks are posing as non-Americans. The suspense builds until we find out where they claim to be from.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
August 31st, 2012 at 3:04 pm
@Uncle Lumpy (#273): I suspected something like that… but it was one of those sorts of days where I wasn’t sure if the problem was the site, or me!