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Or time travel? Maybe the Army invented time travel?

Apartment 3-G, 9/1/12

After enduring a comical series of interruptions, Greg Cooper finally gets the interruption he wants: the hot roommate! Yes, transparently angling for a three-way with your new publicist is totally 100% professional behavior for a … guy who … needs a publicist … and has a “manager” … and … uh … have we ever figured out exactly what it is that Greg does? Is he a handsome actor or maybe a literary bad boy? If so, this could all be part of the marketing plan, with Margo leaking word of his inappropriate advances to the press to cover up his boring, monogamous personal life.

It’s also worth noting that Greg wasn’t wearing a tie at the beginning of this meeting. He knows the way to a lady’s heart, or possibly to multiple ladies’ hearts: dapperness.

Gil Thorp, 9/1/12

We here at the Comics Curmudgeon would like to sincerely apologize for using linguistic markers to misidentify the Irish family in Gil Thorp as English; we realize that this is rather rude, for obvious reasons. Anyway, we would now like to revise the joke about what weirdo sports this family will demand from the Milford athletic department to include hurling and Gaelic handball.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/1/12

“Haw haw, I do enjoy a good bit of wordplay! But seriously, my baby is going to be born into abject poverty due to my husband’s shiftlessness.”

Beetle Bailey, 9/1/12

OH MY GOD THEY CLONED GENERAL HALFTRACK

196 responses to “Or time travel? Maybe the Army invented time travel?”

  1. Mibbitmaker
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    GT (last panel): “You’re tiny and I can push you away!”

    BBailey: Rod Serling: “What? No, I’m not going near that one!”

    ReFOOB: Like that would stop him!

    FC: Jan Eliot.

    A3G: Seinfeld! Great, Greg. Now say “More cowbell”…

  2. Mibbitmaker
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    New Memorial Weekend Saturday PCK Entertorial is now up!

    Since this 2005 one is about Arrested Development, I think the words “No touching!” are most appropriate…

  3. Agoraphobic Turtle
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Ooh, nice save with the Seinfeld quoting there, Greg. But still, no soup for you.

    Beetle Bailey: Ha ha! Women sure like to talk a lot, am I right? But seriously, she’s totally having phone sex.

  4. John C Fremont
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    So Greg Cooper’s a Dapper Dan man?

    FC – Who in this comic is the only one with the common sense to step out of that damned circle and escape into the real world? Not Me!

  5. anon
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    9CL: So idiot manages to clamber onstage and make a big fat spectacle of himself. Just as I predicted weeks ago! Oh, how I wish Edda would kick this tool right off of the stage, but you all watch. Coming up: marriage proposal + acceptance = hysterical applause from captive audience. Bonus: youtube sensation follows!

  6. Baka Gaijin
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Raghead The Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#57): Dagwood would be the only Hells Angel with a solitary button the size of a salad plate on his Harley t-shirts.

  7. Ursula
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: And LuAnn is hiding her hotness in the most awful school marm outfit. This threesome will have some strange roleplays.

  8. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    GT – Nice boy next door, stealing cookies, fairly blatant handjazz. I think I see where this might be going.

    A3G – “Ok, she’s a dyke, which explains why she’s not falling all over me. Guess I’ll go hit on Carla. She looks fairly desperate.”

    JP – I suppose it’s a bit late to hope for some Romeo and Juliet action between Bea and Avery. Now I just assume that there’s a skunk out there about to have the night of its life and a great payday.

    ASM – That’s Peter Parker jumping out of stands, ready for action, right? Are 5000 people going to turn their backs while he dons his Spidey garb? I am genuinely interested in how they manage this, because I haven’t a clue.

  9. nerowolfgal
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MT – So…….just how many times has Rusty and/or Mark committed breaking and entering? It seems to be a common household practice in that family. But it’s all right. They’re the GOOD guys.

  10. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    BGSS – There’s some half formed joke coagulating in my mind that involves stumps, being up a stump and stump broke goats that I can’t quite pull together at this time, but I will keep trying. Stay tuned.

    9CL – I suppose the standard missionary position is appropriate these days for proposing, especially to a disgraced ballerina, onstage, surrounded by beefy gay men. After all, some sort of protocol must be followed, correct?

    BB – I suppose the General is old enough to have been part of the Philadelphia Project. I’m just glad that all of him showed up at the same place at the same time. Imagine the hilarity if only his legs came thru the door while the rest of him was imbedded in some jeep somewhere.

  11. sporknpork
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Greg, like the nature documentarian, is about to witness the social dynamics of Apartment 3-G, as Margo lets the weaker 3G-er suckle her alpha breasts for sustenance. Tommie, however, will most likely smother in the night under Margo’s blubber, clinging to what little warmth she provides.

  12. Horace Broon
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: I am amazed at the presence of an A3G character who is prepared to allude to the possibility that lesbianism might exist, even though in this case it doesn’t. (Because we all know it’s Margo/Tommie.)

    DT: Aargh! Even when Phishface turned out to be a computer scammer the other day, I didn’t see the secondary pun coming!

    FC: The Keane Kids believe that calendars control time itself, and if you prevent one from turning to September, it will always be August and you won’t have to go to school. The Keane Kids are morons.

    FW: “Glad you’re here, John; the one aspect of a con that was missing was a creepy guy for the kids to avoid!”

    MT: Maybe the giant fieldmouse can help you break in!

  13. TheDiva
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: Cue angry letters to the editor in three, two…

    GT: How can she be Irish? We haven’t heard one “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye” or “Faith ‘n’ begorrah!” out of her! I smell another imposter from Dayton…

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    9CL: called it. (as noted yesterthread!)

    IP: *applaz* well played.

    Lio: oops.

    NAoQV: *applaz*

    SBp: Sipowitz /facepalms

    Bizarro: I rofld.

    FW: needs moar cosplay. (Becky can go as Sesshomaru. . . .)

    Lockhorns: but, but, the Forth’s wedding wasn’t catered!

    RMMD: June in a thong? o PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!

    6Cx: d’awwwwww. guest-written by Mutts?

  15. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .bondage games and “bride & groom” roleplay.

  16. Cloudbuster
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @Ursula (#7): Bolle is sure fond of those buttoned-up old maid collars. I think they were considered frumpy back in the 1930s.

  17. TheDiva
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: Which, oddly enough, is also what Amos says right before orgasm.

    So, assuming this unbelievably convoluted effort does end up bearing matrimonial fruit, who will have the most insufferable and irritating nuptials: Amos and Edda, or Les and Cayla? Discuss.

    C’shaft: Don’t encourage him!

    FW: All the bitter complaining and unsavory smells of a real geek convention, with none of the joy or excitement!

    Luann: The dialogue in the last panel is actually kind of nice–I’d just like to airlift it out of this strip and give it to characters who have demonstrated the common sense, wisdom, empathy, and general appeal to deserve it.

    MT: They’re trying to find a hip new tapas restuaurantTHEY’RE POACHERS AND THEY HAVE GUNS, WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY’RE DOING?!?!

    MW: “Without a strong community, Sim City will fall! Don’t let this happen!”

    Pluggers: Zucchini is the plugger fruitcake: nobody eats it, but everybody gives it away.

    SM: “He’s employing cartoon cliches that have no basis in reality! This WILL NOT stand!”

  18. Cloudbuster
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    In reality, you’d think a bear hunt is something that could take hours or days. For these guys, I’m betting it’s a 20-minute stroll.

    “Well, see any bears?”
    “Nope. You?”
    “Nope. Head back?”
    “Guess so!”
    Meanwhile, back at the cabin….
    “Sassy! I hear someone coming!”
    “Arf!”
    “Yes! It must be those trophy hunters!”
    “Arf!”
    “Quick! Hide!”
    etc.

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    a Grand doggie. (Pyr!)

    please to vote Bullmastiff on I Has A Hotdog for next week!

    bats :[ goes green.

    Onward! my noble steed! (for Poteet.)

    incredibly photogenic otter.

    Ruby Sue for bb,u! (The Daily Puppy)

    Lab and Corgi.

    corgi can haz boop?

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    and some non-squee stuff:

    if this is real and not ‘shopped, it’s pretty awesome ink.

    a different take on the Cinderella story.

    Derpy Hooves cosplay. o so very well done.

  21. pastordan
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (y#36): Things went pretty good, thanks for asking. I actually feel like I know what I’m doing. Only one student disappeared on me in the middle of class. It’s definitely a bit like teaching the 13th grade, though.

  22. Squidgy
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Football. Gaelic football.

  23. seismic-2
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: It’s already time for lunch? Yeah, I guess the morning has in fact already passed, busy as it was with a full day at the office consisting of… a single, ten-minute conversation with a client who apparently has no business to transact. Yep, you surely need a 3-person staff to handle all that activity! Can I invest in Margo’s agency, since these early indications are that it’s sure to be bringing in revenue by the truckload within the month? It could be as big a hit as Tommie’s career as a singer-songwriter was!

  24. bats :[
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    “Dapper” is a word that is cheerful, upbeat, and just not used enough these days.
    If you’d gone to all the trouble and expense to renovate your bathroom, why shouldn’t you be proud of your dapper crapper?

  25. bats :[
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#4): re FC: common sense be darned! It’s all about family values! (I think that’s when Bil and Thel considered selling PJ into white slavery, but i could be wrong.)

    @nerowolfgal (#9): well, it’s not like Lost Forest isn’t such a friendly place that people take to locking their doors!

  26. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-She likes the sound of her voice so much that she doesn’t notice anything else around her.

    Gil Thorp-Don’t let the Coach know where you are from. The only thing that he hates more than people pretending to be foreigners are foreigners.

    MT-They are looking for the most dangerous game, Rusty. Though if they come across you it will be a short hunt because you have the brains to charge right into their guns.

  27. Josh
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

  28. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20): if this is real and not ‘shopped, it’s pretty awesome ink.

    Also pretty creepy. If not ‘shopped, I hope it’s temp. Imagine having to look at that everyday.

  29. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FC-Where’s Ida Know?

  30. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: A lesbian joke and a Seinfeld reference? When did this strip make the time-jump forward into the 90s?

    BB: Is Mrs. Halftrack’s first name Pat?

    S-M: Add to my list of offenses against logic the idea that the circus would send its performers out when a crazed criminal clown is in the ring—a clown who apparently is bullet-proof because of, I don’t know, some form of humor-inspired defense against bullets?

    MT: Among Rusty’s numerous disturbing characteristics is his ability to change his height from that of a little boy to a pretty tall teenager. Let’s hope that he never takes a lesson from the local wildlife and grows to mega-mouse size, because if he does, we’re all doomed: Picture a giant Rusty blundering over that city of Mary’s dreams, roaring, “Fishing! Take me fishing!

  31. Baka Gaijin
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#8) on Spiderman: These are 5000 people stupid enough to be collateral damage at the Circus of Stupefying Stupidity. ‘Nuff said.

    @Horace Broon (#12) on Family Circus: It wouldn’t surprise me if the Keane Kids clamored for front row seats at the Spiderman Circus of Stupefying Stupidity.

    @TheDiva (#17) on Mark Trail: Rusty’s hoping the table holds front row seats at the Spiderman Circus of Stupefying Stupidity. He’s a natural born collateral damage victim.

  32. pastordan
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    The snark lays thick on the ground this morning, like manna.

    Amazing Spider-Man: Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think elephants can do that. Also, I’d really, really like to see Peter Parker do a face plant from the stands.

    Apt. 3-G: Blandest, most boring, pastel-est three-way ever.

    9 Chickweed Lane: So a cellist gets flung onto a ballet stage, and the ballerina says: 1)You know this is/isn’t a gay bar, right? 2)Why no, I was just accepting the accolades for my last and best performance. Would you like some tea? 3)

    Cow and Boy: My son’s name is William. He prefers to be called Billy. He was named by his birth mother after Billy the Kid, because the man she was dating at the time was named Pat Garrett. Pat Garrett killed Billy the Kid. I’m glad we adopted him. Where were we?

    Dennis the Menace: If Mr. Wilson listened to wind-up Victrolas when he was a kid, wouldn’t that make him about the same age as Mr. Burns?

    Dick Tracy provides a valuable public service announcement for the aging quasi-literates and feeble-minded pastors who still read it. I half expect the railroad police to interrupt the frame at some point.

    Judge Parker: I’m telling you, if they’re just toying with our expectations of a marijuana bust and the story line results in wedding bells for Avery and Bea, this is comedy gold.

    Mark Trail: It’s three bowls of porridge, Rusty. Why don’t you test them for hotness?

    Mary Worth: Are those visions of swastikas in Mary’s eyes, and plans for everyone?

    The Phantom: Boy, that guy sure is bossy for somebody who doesn’t exist.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: June in a thong? DO NOT WANT. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

    Slylock Fox: I think the two that are the same are the ones where the bear is screaming in agony: MY BALLS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BALLS?

  33. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y54): Wow—just an impressed, amazed “WOW.” Uncle Lumpy is my poetry superhero. (And now you can be his sidekick!)

    @pastordan (#21): I’m fortunate that I don’t usually have to slip into the 13th-grade mode with my freshmen—but think of it this way: They may act somewhat like 13th graders, but you don’t necessarily need to teach 13th grade, right? I’m glad it went well!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#19): For some reason, you always seem to do your best squee on Saturdays!

  34. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#Y47): Aw, I’m sorry I deserted you.

  35. AhClem
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    ReFOOBRod Jon is a misogynistic prick, chapter 43,048,691. Seriously, Lynn, get help.

  36. Oregonian
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    The Wreck of the Unità del Mare by Wilbur Weston

    Our cruise started in the usual way. We settled into our cabin and went out to see the ship. I did some shopping … watched a movie … went down the water slide. At Guys Karaoke Night I sang “Not Pretty Enough” in a pair of assless chaps. It was all a grand old time. But then everything changed when I decided to skip my usual sandwich and order the fish…

  37. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    CloseHome School proms.
    “Gee, I feel so darn awkward, Sis…”

    Dennis – Even back in the 1920s, the old gang at the malt shop made fun of Wilson’s hand-cranked phonograph.

  38. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    A3G-Luann, don’t say you’re hungry in front of Greg. He already thinks that “roommate” is some sort of code word for lesbian lover. He might starting thinking that you want to eat Margo’s pussy if you say you are hungry.

  39. pastordan
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#33): Yes, the good news is that they actually want to act like grown-ups, for the most part. And those that don’t…self-selected out of my class.

    Had a horrific incident with the bookstore, though. Out of five books, they didn’t order two and only five copies of a third. I couldn’t figure out why my students were so upset that I was assigning reading out of books on the syllabus. Well, when you can’t get your hands on them…

    But by and large, we’re off to a decent start. Hope your semester is well under way as well.

  40. debussy fields
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    FC– I am a teacher in a public school. Each year I have at least one student who reminds me of one of the Keane brats. I have tried that calendar trick many, many times. It doesn’t work.

  41. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Henry – It was funnier when she came in to find Henry sitting up in the bed blowing smoke rings while Joey just smiled contentedly.

    Herb – This bears out a theory I had years ago that time travel would involve some sort of bathroom, because time moves at a different rate inside the bathroom. I invoked a classic thought experiment with a pair of identical twins: one inside the bathroom, and the other outside the bathroom. After fifty years, we would find that the one outside has aged more than the one inside.

  42. Spyglass
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    So help me, at first I thought the joke was that Teresa Mae’s husband was having a baby himself, given his position. I mean, it’d probably be best if his feet were in stirrups, but those require precious iron to manufacture.

  43. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Hi – Rejection. The only blue ribbon Thirsty ever earned is in his hand right now.

    love is… – I’m glad he’s wearing pants today. I don’t want to see that knot.

  44. Spunde
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    BB: And with the first strip of September 2012, the Walkers’ ill-fated “Bill Griffith” experiment began.

  45. The Ridger
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    MT: Gosh, I wonder where those guys who kill animals with guns, like I saw them do, are going with those guns right now in a place full of animals?

  46. Justin
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    This raises a disturbing new question- how many times has Beetle been killed by Sarge and just cloned back to life? How many times has Sarge fallen from that slim tree branch and been replaced by a fresh clone? How many soldiers have gotten food poisoning and died from the established inedible cooking at Camp Swampy? Suddenly it makes sense why they never seem to go to war- they’re actually just test subjects for the new army “infinite soldier” program.

  47. Ron Hogan
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#30): Add me to the list of those astounded that when Apartment 3G finally got around to acknowledging the lesbian subtext, they couched it in a 20-year-old sitcom bit. Maybe for lunch, the three of them should get Tommie, go to a crowded Chinese restaurant, and stand around for a half-hour waiting for a table.

  48. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Mark – Again with Chekhov’s mouse! If this bright-eyed rodent doesn’t figure in the resolution of this exciting story, I’ll be severely disappointed.

    Mary“…We need law and order! Yes, without law and order our nation cannot survive!” [*]

  49. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#39): Wait, you have the same bookstore that we do? (Hint: In the future, if you can email your students before the semester starts, tell them to buy the books early or order them through Amazon.)

  50. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y27): I was thinking of truck-stop poetry. Well, actually, it’s poetry of the sort that appears in thin magazines with lots of classified ads on cheap newsprint that can be found in stacks at truck stops. These tend to be pathetic — the subject matter is some doomed child of junkies who may or may not have a religious epiphany just before croaking — and almost all the punctuation has been replaced with ellipses. “She was just… a Child! …and she never had… a chance…” (The last one signifies that I stopped quoting with lots left to go.) The tradition goes back to such tearjerkers as “In The Baggage Car Ahead” and “Hello Central (Give Me Heaven)” and “Daddy, What’s Heaven Like?” and even earlier.

    But yours is nice too.

    @Chaze (#8): Are 5000 people going to turn their backs while he dons his Spidey garb? I am genuinely interested in how they manage this, because I haven’t a clue.
    It’s simple. Peter Parker will leap out of the stands and run from the tent. Seconds later, Spider-Man will enter. NOBODY WILL EVER SUSPECT A THING.

    @bats :[ (#24): “Dapper” is a word that is cheerful, upbeat, and just not used enough these days.
    I also like “natty.”

  51. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Roommates? Really?! Two adult women, at least one of whom has a successful, well-known business, living together as though you’re still in college? Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”

  52. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Henry-Looks like Henry did a lot with Joey.

    Henry 2-This gives a new meaning to “having a gay old time”.

    Henry 3-Looks like Joey ran Henry ragged.

  53. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#50): It’s obvious: That poetry is designed to be read aloud by William Shatner.

  54. seismic-2
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    GT: So the new kid in school is Irish, huh? Maybe his sport will be “heavy drinking”. Gil is of course well qualified to coach that, and just wait until this kid gets interviewed by Marty Moon!

  55. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#53): Dead on!
    There’s a certain kind of internet sarcasm where WORDS are… inappropriately and excessively emphasized; where… ellipses. And. Periods. Are nonsensically overused, I.
    Call.
    This.
    SHATCASM!

  56. Ian Beste
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    9CL “Is this an inconvenient moment?”

    “Oh no. Here, let me pull up my tutu, and struggle to pull down my sweat-soaked tights so you can have your 30 second tour of pleasure in my lady-bits. So, how was your day?”

    DtM “Listen kid, if ‘Yes We Have No Bananas Today’ doesn’t rock your house, we got nothin’ to talk about.”

    Marm Yup, proof that the Hell-Dog has rotting corpses in his doghouse.

  57. Baka Gaijin
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#37) on Close to Home: Considering there was no nudity or leering, that was surprisingly disturbing.

  58. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Even for 9CL, this seems to be a new low.

  59. Dartpaw86
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    The Doctor from Doctor Who has always been friends with the military… he and the General agreed to have him talk to his wife, then take the General back in time and sneak in so his wife is still on phone, in which she will never know he’s there while he’s in his secret room watching golf.

    Sadly the General’s memory doesn’t go back farther than five minutes and he blew the whole operation.

  60. Red Greenback
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    “June, do you know a store by the name of La Thong? Capital L, small a, capital T, small h, small o, small n, small g. La Thong.”

  61. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Lu Ann, don’t ever look up former images of yourself in old strips from decades ago. You’ll weep.

  62. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#49): They had access to the book list over the summer…it just didn’t include one of the books, and another was wrong. Also, no student list until the day before class began.

    Yeah.

    But that’s a solid suggestion, and I’ll try to remember it next time.

  63. Andy
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Gil: Looks like someone stole Irish gal’s breasts as well.

  64. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

  65. Roto13
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Greg wasn’t wearing a tie at the beginning of this meeting and Margo was wearing an undershirt which is mysteriously missing. What is happening in the gaps between panels?

  66. Squidgy
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#27):

    feejit

  67. Squidgy
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    With all due respect, of course.

  68. Red Greenback
    September 1st, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#27):

    Broken bottles under children’s feet
    Bodies strewn across the dead end street
    But I won’t heed the battle call
    It puts my back up
    Puts my back up against the wall

    Handball, Gaelic handball
    Handball, Gaelic handball
    Handball, Gaelic handball

  69. Santa Royale With Cheese
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Ummmm, unless things are radically different in the newspaper Spideyverse, Peter Parker doesn’t have super speed like Superman does. “I’ll change into Spider-Man in front of the entire circus! That’ll protect my secret identity! Okay, special announcement, oh look, a Ferrari over there. Did you see that Ferrari? Yes, they’re very fast.” /Eddie Izzard

  70. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#58): Even for 9CL, this seems to be a new low.
    Now, don’t be a dirty-minded beefwit! It’s just the innocent result of being tossed by a couple of burly gay ballerinas onto your spread-eagled girlfriend and opting to stay there, while carrying on a conversation, on a stage in front of a full audience of mostly bluenoses. It could happen to anybody, provided they’re truly special.

    @Red Greenback (#60): No, I don’t know a store called LaThong, Capital L, small a, capital T, small h, small o, small n, small g. And if I did know a store called a LaThong, I wouldn’t admit it.

  71. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): It could happen to any female Burber.

  72. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#50): I was thinking of truck-stop poetry. These tend to be pathetic — the subject matter is some doomed child of junkies who may or may not have a religious epiphany just before croaking — and almost all the punctuation has been replaced with ellipses. “She was just… a Child! …and she never had… a chance…”

    Can you do that stuff? It’s not as easy as it looks. My Muse tends to break out in giggles, and that spoils the mood.

  73. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Where is this story going to go? Are we going to a get a story about how it’s wrong to mistreat someone because they are Irish or are we going to get a story about how it’s right to mistreat someone because they are Irish and a foreigner? I’m leaning towards the latter because I haven’t seen many acts of tolerance in this comic.

  74. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith-If you don’t have any labor then you might want to see a doctor and see if that fetus is still alive.

  75. erdmann
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Unfortunately for Amos, the theater’s security guard was recently fired from his last job because he hesitated to act, allowing Clown-9 to rob J. Jonah Jameson. Believing Amos to be a crazed stalker, the guard takes no chances. He promptly pulls his gun and empties it into Amos’ head.
    Unfortunately for Amos. Fortunately for us.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): Ballerinos

    // You knew that!

  77. seismic-2
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Are they having a half-price swimsuit sale because it’s the end of the season or because they’re selling half of a swimsuit? HUBBA HUBBA WOO HOO!

  78. mollificent
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#yy47): OMG. Funny story: I just a few days ago switched to Google Chrome from Firefox, and so I had to rebuild my DarkGate Slurper page, and I totally forgot to re-add Dick Tracy. Just in time for my doppelganger to show up! Thanks for the heads-up!

    (I wish I had her problems, though. Online sales have kinda slowed to a trickle. To the Promo-bile!)

  79. commodorejohn
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#73): Oh no? Have you forgotten Lini, the foppy young man who was obviously…well, you know, and the only things that ever came out of it were perpetual evasive mentions of the fact that he was, you know, but for some reason they couldn’t outright say that he was…well, you know, you know? And also that storyline where (IIRC) Taciturn Black Christian Guy made it clear that even though he didn’t necessarily approve of Lini’s…you-know-ness, he had no intentions of treating him subhumanly over it, because that wouldn’t be Christ-like?

    There’s plenty of weird and unsettling things about Milford, but xenophobia generally isn’t one of them.

  80. Squidgy
    September 1st, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#27):

    Oh, it does exist. Oopsie. I’ve been living in Ireland seven years and never heard of it. My apologies. Did I tell you I’ve preordered a copy of your wonderful, wonderful book?

  81. endless sky
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Zucchini?? No way. Pluggers don’t grow vegetables with Eye-talian names! They would grow only good old American squash.

  82. bunivasal
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    “Roommates, really? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
    “Who has a roommate in Manhattan? I selected this woman to be my publicist and it turns out she has to live with other people in her multiple-bedroom apartment? Color me disappointed. And my tie marigold.”

  83. Bill
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    I hate to say “I told you so!” but I TOLD YOU SO! IRISH! HURLING! BISCUITS! CORK! UP THE I.R.A.!

  84. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    9CL-If you are going to fuck her take your clothes off.

    Nancy-I dreamed that I was a senior citizen trapped in a girl’s body.

  85. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): Of course. I’m so ashamed.

    Actually, it’s even worse. For a few moments yesterday, I hoped that Ames would be held way up in the air, twirled around a few times, and then flung waaay into the backstage area so hard and fast that he’d land on the floor SPLAT like a wet washcloth. I shall now don sackcloth and contemplate my mental crimes.

  86. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    BB — I don’t get it.

  87. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    I just want everyone to know that I own and proudly wear a Property of Milford Mudlarks tee shirt. I bought it from the Trib when Gil was the real Gil, you know, the one who looked like Bruce Wayne circa 1959.

    Of course, here in Central NY, the cool factor of the shirt is diminished because I am the only one who knows it’s cool.

  88. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    A & J — Per what I presume is the oncoming poop-storm about proper party attire, I don’t know any more what “casual” really means or what “dressy” really means, let alone what “dressy casual” and “casual dressy” mean. I went to a funeral recently in dark pants and a dark top, fearing that my outfit was too informal, and instead I turned out to be one of the most formally-dressed people there. So good luck, everyone in A & J. Maybe other parts of the country are clearer on these matters.

  89. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#87): From a long distance away, I salute your coolness:-).

  90. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – June, while your at La Thong, pick one up for both Sarah and Rex. Also some dental floss for Heather, so that you can imagine just how that might look. And a burlap sack for Melissa.

  91. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#89): Thank you, thank you. I knew this would be an appreciative crowd.

  92. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#79): Gays are accepted in Milford as long as they can nail the three point shot. If they try to nail anything else, they will be run out of town on a rail. Frazz would be tarred and feathered. And rightfully so.

  93. Inkwell
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    I don’t understand Beetle Bailey at all. Am I too smart or too dumb?

  94. Chaze
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Inkwell (#93): Boy, I’m the wrong one to ask. I needed sentence diagramming and a thesaurus to get the joke in yesterday’s Frazz.

  95. commodorejohn
    September 1st, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Wow, congratulations, Houston Chronicle! Your new site sucks just as much as your last new site, only now it’s a giant waste of screen space as well! You’ll fit right in with all the other sites reinventing themselves in giant amounts of pointless whitespace! After all, Google did it, and anything Google does must be a good idea!

    A3G – He learned about women from Penthouse Forum letters, didn’t he?

    Archie – I’ll just leave this here. (“Iowa State College – the high school after high school!”)

    DT – “Oh wait, no, turns out the record companies have just decided that they need to raise CD prices to make up for the massive losses they claim from online piracy. Surely this won’t drive anyone else away from legitimate purchase!”

    FC – Wow. That’s a really dumb prank. Seriously, couldn’t you at least think of something clever?

    GT – So are mini-mullets popular on the Emerald Isle these days?

    JP – Wait, did Sam just suggest that Avery seduce a skunk? ‘Cause that’s what I’m getting out of that.

    MT – Remember what the monster Dormouse said, Rusty!

    MW – Mary predicts THE COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION from a lack of neighborliness! Look at her, she’s nearly in tears as she writes! Soon she’ll slide further and further into paranoid rambling, blaming reptilian space Jews for the loss of politeness in modern society and ranting about the gold standard.

    Phantom – Is that a turban on the guy in panel two, or the World’s Largest Old Lady Bun?

    SF – OH MY GOD YES.

  96. YoungMrGrace
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Is there such a thing as “lovingly rendered camel toe”? If so, the last panel of Gil Thorp embodies it.

  97. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#95): MW – Mary predicts THE COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION from a lack of neighborliness! Look at her, she’s nearly in tears as she writes! Soon she’ll slide further and further into paranoid rambling, blaming reptilian space Jews for the loss of politeness in modern society and ranting about the gold standard.

    Yeah, I’m starting to worry about the old gal. She’s been at this for days, weeks. Shouldn’t she be holed up in a cabin in the wilderness somewhere?

  98. Austria
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    FW: He’s right. It even has fat dumpy guys in Batman shirts!

    MG&G: Probably to salvage your real-life relationship. (I can’t be the only person who does that. Come on, anyone? Anyone?)

    RMMD: You gotta admire June. Even in the face of Rex’s attraction to men, she still insists on trying to seduce the guy. What a trooper.

    S4th: I love this strip. I love this strip so much.

  99. Tennessee Steinmetz
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey- Today’s guest writer, David Lynch.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZowK0NAvig

  100. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Luann Yes, sibling rivalry. Brad and Luann, competing for who’s the dumbest. And always coming out in a tie.

    A3G I thought Carla said visitors were waiting for Margo. Will Tommie pop in next? A third roommate! That should stretch Greg’s imagination. Welcome to the Big City where polyamorous relationships and casual sex are the norm.

    MT “Maybe they left something in the house that will show me who they are. There’s something on the table, but I can’t tell what it is.”

    Yes, resumes, a credit report, and a subscription to Poachers World Magazine. Good thinking, Rusty!

  101. Arabella
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    S4th: Best wedding song ever! Maybe the reception can go on for another week so we can hear more from Mother-of-the Bride and her boyfriend. If only Les and Cayla’s wedding could be so great!

  102. bbofun
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @anon (#5): You forgot the most important part- ballet director abjectly apologizes and begs specialist snowflake to come back- as prima ballerina, of course!

  103. bbofun
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#92): Please- a janitor who’s an athlete and dispense pearls of wisdom? He’d fit RIGHT IN in Milford.

  104. bats :[
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#34): it’s okay. I did something reasonable. I went to bed. :)

  105. bbofun
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    *”dispenses”

    Stupid keyboard- always printing what I type in, rather than what I mean!

  106. Ian Beste
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Agoraphobic Turtle (#3): “Spongeworthy?”
    “Shrinkage!”
    “No soup for you!”

  107. Baka Gaijin
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#95) on Mary Worth: Mary always predicts “the collapse of civilization from a lack of neighborliness” any time someone refuses her gift plate of steaming salmon squares.

  108. Calico
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Mary is channeling David Byrne’s “Cities”, or perhaps Damian Kulash’s “Skyscrapers.”
    Funny how she can make buildings grow out of her head.

  109. seismic-2
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#101): Please let Les and Cayla’s wedding include real werewolves. Hungry ones.

  110. bats :[
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#48): maybe the Bad Guys will get Hantavirus and die! Then Mark could say something wise about mouse urine.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#50): ooh, natty. Like “natty batty.” Yup!

    @Poteet (#58): as I said late last night (I think), this is just gross. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking this.

    @Red Greenback (#60):
    I say L, I say L-A
    L-A-T
    L-A-T-H
    L-A-T-H-O-N-G-G — La Thong!

  111. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 1st, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Where once-edgy material from “Seinfeld” goes to die.

    BB: A few Pentagon scientists take a skin sample from under General Halftrack’s fingernails and all sorts of wacky clonery ensues.

    Pluggers: How Joe Francis adult video productions would be different with the addition of zucchini isn’t a subject the fills the bill for me, sexually speaking. It definitely isn’t something I want to think about in connection to Pluggers.

    MW: “And after you’ve spent all afternoon working on that Erector Set, why would you want to throw it all away now?”

    WofI: Obviously the king’s army needs to spend less time sniffling and more time surrendering.

    9CL: Hey, you know what it kind of looks like they’re doing in the last panel? If you said “being annoying twerps”, you’re right!

    Archie: “The yellow-haired one knows her place. I am most pleased.”

    JP: I didn’t know Sam was a Stephen Stills fan, but he seems to subscribe to the “love the one you’re with” theory.

    RMMD: Oh now you’re just teasing us. (I know. “Now”?)

    HtH: Going around to the back door isn’t how you avoid conflict. It might be how you avoid babies, but not conflict.

    DT: Nice touch, Themesong. There were a few readers you weren’t irritating yet, so you threw in an Eliza Doolittle mockney accent.

    FC: The prank would require standing on a chair while using a stapler, and not sustaining a near-fatal injury in the undertaking. In this case Not Me actually is the most likely suspect.

    Momma: Apparently Sammy’s hair was actually the first to know, hence its standing on end before she said anything.

    M-Dawg: Strange. For all his infernal powers, Marmaduke is helpless before an invading force from BC.

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): I’ve got to say, given the implicit choice between being juvenile, ignorant, or just careless, I’ll gladly accept the apparent verdict of carelessness. Nice tact.

  113. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Bill (#83):
    Do the IRA
    Do the UDA
    Soldier boy from the UK
    Am I just a hypocrite
    Another piece of your bullshit…

  114. bbofun
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#84):” 9CL-If you are going to fuck her take your clothes off.”- For the love of all that’s holy don’t! My eyes, they bleed!

    Honestly, the sight of “naked Amos”(TM) has been ruled “cruel and unusual punishment’. Even Scalia agreed.

    GT- Prediction- Irish lad will not be a soccer gut- instead, rugby. He will constantly be complaining about “why d’ya wear all this paddin’? Are ye all wee babies?” Plus, he’ll play way too rough. Until he learns his lesson, of course.

    A3G- Wow, he just actually called them lesbians. And I bet the strip didn’t get pulled from anywhere. Brava, Margaret Shulock- well done.

    Boy, with that, and the promise of hot man-on-skunk action in Judge Parker, barriers are truly falling.

    P.S. Sorry about posting so many times- I don’t know how to “reply” to multiple post in one post.

  115. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#32): re ASM: From what I understand, the guys from Mythbusters did a mouse-elephant experiment to test the theory. What they found was that elephants do react negatively to mice, but mainly just stop moving because of it. So rearing up and throwing off the circus performer is unlikely. Today’s turn of events actually seems to be triggering some action by Peter Parker, however, so I’m going to see how it plays out before I call foul.

  116. AhClem
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#86): @Inkwell (#93): I think the humorous* point being made is that she talks so much on the phone that Amos can’t get a word in edgewise, and doesn’t realize he isn’t on the line any more. Wimmin, amirite?

    (* “Humor” in this case being the BB standard, which bears no resemblance to “humor” in the real world.)

  117. Calico
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#68):
    Ah, when U2 used to be good.
    Maybe this is the same thing as what Josh mentioned, but here AB calls it “Road bowling.” Kind of interesting.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcVgiLr_JCU

  118. Anonymous
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    RE: Gil Thorpe’s new characters being Irish: Really? You thought Maeve was an English name? Sounds like someone never watched RYAN’S HOPE!

  119. Calico
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#118):
    Ha, yeah, I mentioned that yesterday, I think.
    Da da da da da da da daaaaah … (harp music playing)

  120. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#115): I guess I was just wondering if elephants could even rear up like that…

  121. Calico
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#119):
    And now I want to hear the wonderful Mollificent play the RH theme song on her harp. It really is quite a pretty song – don’t know if the tune was fleshed out beyond the intro, but the original arrangement is nice (before the “poppified” it in the 80′s). : )

  122. Calico
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#12):
    A3G is really starting to live up to its title!
    Now this is for real-and interesting:
    http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/31/world/americas/brazil-polyfaithful-union/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

  123. DaveyK
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    Nothing says “Count me in for ménage à trois” quite like a blouse buttoned all the way to the top.

  124. tallyHO
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#122):

    I’m now hoping the change the name of the strip from Apt. 3G to “Greg Cooper’s Harem”. I for one look forward to an abundance of hijinks.

    //actually, I’d love to see a trailer for that, one like those 1960s romantic comedy movie trailers.

    “Greg Cooper is trying to do the impossible outside of a Mormon marriage, he’s trying to juggle not one, not two but three roommate romances. It starts out easy enough but wait till the times goes on more genies will come out of the bottle and the hilarity will ensure.

    Margo: “Greg. Cooper. When are you going to…”
    Tommie: “…marry…”
    LuAnn: “…me and…”
    Margo, Tommie and LuAnn, in unison, “… me alone?”

    Rock Hudstone stars in this comedy introducing Rachel Welch, Mia Farrow and Connie Francis!

  125. mollificent
    September 1st, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121): Hee hee! Remind me in a couple of months and you might be on. I’m a little overbooked just now. ;)

  126. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#95):

    GT – So are mini-mullets popular on the Emerald Isle these days?

    The artist learned everything he knows about Ireland from old U2 pictures.

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#112): Of course it was. Just one letter off. A trifling error.

    // Confession: Ballet, or dance in general, is an area of the performing arts I have never had any interest in, and hence my knowledge of it is nearly zilch. I came across “ballerino” not too long ago in the NYT Arts section, and while it was obvious what it meant, and why, I had to look it up just to be sure it wasn’t some wretched neologism. Of course it is Italian, the masculine form of ballerina, but while “ballerina” is in Webster’s Third Unabridged, and the more recent MW Collegiate 11th, ballerino is not. (I shan’t bother checking my older dictionaries). As far as I recall, female ballet dancers were always called ballerinas, and male ballet dancers were called (male) ballet dancers, whenever I came across the subject in novels, or newspaper or magazine articles.

    So I think ballerino is NOT English, yet, and if you were to insist on using it, you should put it in (appropriately) italics.

    // And anyone who insisted on using it is probably some kind of pseudo-intellectual snob. Poseurs make my gorge rise! Plain,honest English is good enough for me. Decipimur specie recti, as Horace put it so well.

  128. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): Huh. So what’s the feminine form of “curmudgeon”? “Curmudgienne”?

  129. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#52):

    Henry-Looks like Henry did a lot with Joey.

    Thank God you’re talking about Henry and not Dennis the Menace.

  130. seismic-2
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Will we ever learn what happened to the no-longer-a-young-man musician who destroyed his back, and likely suffered a hernia, in his attempt to push Amos above his head and onto the stage? Probably not, since he’s not a Burber, and hence his empty life is totally without significance in the Brooke-verse. He exists only to serve.

  131. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-This reminds me of an episode of “I Love Lucy” I saw a few weeks ago. Ricky and his friends were dancing with this woman in her twenties and one of the friends mentions that he has nothing in common with a twenty year old and he asks, “Who’s Pat Boone?”

  132. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Nothing like clubbing in the head of the annoying neighbor kid to the sound of big band music.

  133. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    MW-”And by god we must help each other or I will make us help each other.”

    A3G-”I’m Greg Cooper and now I must die because I accidentally broke my neck while turning my head really fast.”

  134. Dale
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail should write an article explaining how to tell whether an abandoned cabin/house [Which is it, Rusty?] is really abandoned or the owners are just away for a few days.

  135. Peanut Gallery
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#13): (GT) “Always after me Lucky Charms! They’re magically delicious!”

  136. tallyHO
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of the 90s humor, in A3G, it looks like in panel two Coop is getting ready to practice his golf Schwing!

    //invisible panel number 3

  137. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    9CL-”Mommy, what’s that nebbish looking man with the glasses trying to do to the ballerina?”

    Dennis the Menace-Dennis, let Mr. Wilson tell you about swing music.

  138. Dale
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127):

    I never knew Horace, but if that quote has anything to do with stool samples, I’m going to deny knowing his impoverished brother, too.

  139. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Forgive me for suddenly bending over. I’m not covering an erection I just developed picturing the two of you in bed together.”

  140. Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör
    September 1st, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: Lately, Mary looks as though she’s been contemplating ending it all.

  141. Dale
    September 1st, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#138):

    Oops. I was thinking of the wrong name. Horatio — oh yeah, English Navy Captain. He wasn’t rich at the start, but their pay system had an incentive aspect, like being a pirate.

  142. John C Fremont
    September 1st, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Der Speziell Ägent Kommentator Experte für das Schnärk Herr Schnärkïnätör (#140): That would explain a lot. When I read MW this morning, I found myself saying, “What in the hell is she blathering on about?”

    Looking at that second panel, though, I’m wondering if maybe Homeland Security should be keeping an eye on her.

  143. The Ridger
    September 1st, 2012 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): I always heard them called danceurs.

  144. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#143): You mean danseur, of course. The feminine form is danseuse. That is French, but both words are in MWC11 and the MW Unabridged, so must be considered correct English forms as well, and you could get away with using them unitalicized.

    Ballerino, not so much.

    // It has to be some kind of faux pas to use “ballerina” and “danseur” together, however. Kind of like the classic solecism of making a new word using both Greek and Latin roots.

  145. SurrealKangaroo
    September 1st, 2012 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    I am sure it has been said 100 times by now, but wouldn’t today’s Snuffy Smith make better sense on Monday? You know, when it is Labor Day?

  146. Old School Allie Cat
    September 1st, 2012 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    I realized today that somehow, Crankshaft dropped off my Slurper Feed and had been missing for at least a month.

    Although, I can’t say that I missed it.

    Also, I realized I haven’t posted here in awhile. And I suspect you didn’t notice either.

    [sob] I’m as forgettable as Crankshaft! [/sob]

  147. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @SurrealKangaroo (#145): I am sure it has been said 100 times by now, but wouldn’t today’s Snuffy Smith make better sense on Monday? You know, when it is Labor Day?

    I could be wrong, but no, I don’t think anybody mentioned it before you. Your point is good, but no one here really expects BG&SS to make sense.

  148. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Dale (#138): So this furniture salesman walked into a bar, but he was thrown out when he tried to show the bartender some stool samples.

  149. Tonio
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    The alleged joke in BB? Probably an old sexist one. Mrs. Halftrack was likely so motormouthed that the General gave up even making little grunts of acknowledgement, quietly set the receiver down on his desk, and left for home while she continued to drone on.

  150. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#146): Sorry! I thought you were posting as “Anonymous” now. Too bad, you had some pretty good stuff…

  151. There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#147): Our current period is referred to as “Labor Day Weekend” which really doesn’t make any sense either. And labor for more than 24 hours seems awfully long whether you mean it in the obstetric or economic sense.

  152. Old School Allie Cat
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150): Uh… yeah… that was me!

  153. tallyHO
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

    @Tonio (#149):

    Yes. That’s what I was thinking, too. But, I also it makes me wonder if even a couple that are the same age as the Halftrack’s would have cell phones. Maybe it is different in the military.

  154. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#151): Yes, I guess that the alleged humor in today’s BG is sort of topical under the rubric of “Labor Day Weekend” joke. Very perspicacious.

    Heh.

  155. Zerowolf
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I for one would vote for Gaelic football. It’s a lot like rugby, except it makes rugby look like a friendly game of cricket.

  156. Zerowolf
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#153): Given the Halftracks must be in their late 120′s or early 130′s I’d think caskets are more likely than cell phones.

  157. tallyHO
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#156):

    Hmmm. Perhaps that versus Walker Inc., acceding to workplace standard practices explains why Miss Buxley no longer puts up with him like she used to. He and the missus are incorporeal spirits just going through a mind-numbing routine for all of eternity.

    Heck, I’m surprised the General opened the door. He could have just walked right through it though that wouldn’t explain why she needs the telephone to haunt him.

  158. Zerowolf
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    GT: Does this mean this football season’s locker room crisis is going to revolve around the “Irish Curse.”

  159. bats :[
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    While waiting for Seth Snarkadder to come and whisk me away, I manage to keep myself amused…

  160. Ian Beste
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): I am so stealing that one.

  161. odinthor
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    #144. NS.

    It has to be some kind of faux pas to use “ballerina” and “danseur” together, however. Kind of like the classic solecism of making a new word using both Greek and Latin roots.

    No fox paws there. [shatnerspeak] That’s just . . . the way . . . it is.[/shatnerspeak] Ballerini generally fleer at those who use or promote use of “ballerino” (as well as those who use “ballerini”). “Usage is a tyrant,” and usage is “ballerina”/”danseur.” I have been a devotee of ballet since approximately 1970 . . . I have seen Erik Bruhn as The Chosen One . . . I have seen Cynthia Gregory as Giselle . . . I have seen Fernando Bujones as the Bluebird . . . and oh so much more . . . and, unless things have changed radically since my last perf. in May, I’m purty shore I’m right.

  162. Mrs. Bissonette
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#70): If you and your friend wish to exchange ribald stories, please take it downstairs!

  163. Peanut Gallery
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#128): I think I’d go with “curmudgeoness”. Just for maximum confusion, as in “The curmudgeonness level of that curmudgeoness is legendary.”

  164. Sgt. Stoned
    September 1st, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#1): BB: Rod Serling: “Submitted for your respectful consideration one Amos Halftrack, General, United States Army, who commands a base whose denizens are never deployed anywhere except garbage detail and who spends most of his time on the golf course. General Halftrack thinks he is stepping into his home. In point of fact, he is stepping into…the Twilight Zone.”

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#161): I must defer to your vastly greater knowledge.

    // And anyone who uses the word “fleer” is clearly a Superior Person.

  166. Peanut Gallery
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#144):

    Kind of like the classic solecism of making a new word using both Greek and Latin roots.

    What would that be called? A neoverbum? A novilogism?

  167. pastordan
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    I will try to be sure to post this again tomorrow, but Boulet is at it again. Amazing.

  168. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-Wait! If you’re my husband then who am I having phone sex with.

  169. Liam
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-The sale is half price because they only have half the swimsuit, the bottom half.

    Spiderman-”If anyone is going to get credit for beating Clown-9 it will be me and not some panicking elephant.”

    A3G-”Roomates? Really? So that’s what they call your kind nowadays.”

    JP-I’m sorry but Conrad only likes female skunks and black cats that look like female skunks.

  170. Nehemiah Scudder
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#166): Not bad, those. The usual exemplar is “homosexual”.

    (The word is so, unnatural!)

  171. Peanut Gallery
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165): A Superior Person or a Pud.

  172. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    September 1st, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#167): Wow. I don’t know if I should thank you, or be really pissed off at you for the nightmares I’m going to have tonight.

  173. Poteet
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#116): Thank you — I get it now. And how tactful and enlightened you are. It’s like you’re the Anti-BB!

  174. pastordan
    September 1st, 2012 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#172): Ah, but are you dreaming or awake?

    Just, whatever you do, Don’t think of Copenhagen.

  175. debussy fields
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    @Mrs. Bissonette (#162): It doesn’t matter to me. Use your best judgment.

  176. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    [editor’s note: I considered waiting to see how Mark Trail, the real comic, would play out with Rusty appearing. But, it is gonna be days before anything ever happens in that strip. So, instead of worrying about clashing with a better storyline, I figure: be like Neil Armstrong and go onward and upward. Though I doubt the story was missed. The goal is to conclude it. What the hey, right?]

    @tallyHO (previously on MTOoOUMBV#280):

    Mistopher Trendy’s Observations on Observation Utilizing Magnified, Binocular Vision, Pt.XII

    Mail Order Prize

    Holdin’ that toy trusserotops out in fron’ na me seemed pert futile. Thar wuz no water to add ta make it grow to Real Life Size ™. Race Manman an’ Mark Trail musta thought I done flipped mah lid. Thas when I realized ah done had some libations to soak that li’l toy. Ah had muh jug o’ Light’nin! So, I set the three horned dino-devil on the ground and pour’d muh jug on it, showerin’ it in the electrified yet soothin’ elixer of The Simple Life.

    Well, those Giant Sized critters were a stampedin’ through the Eden that is Lost Forest. We three rescooers wuz at the edge of the clearin’ yet we wuz too far away from that cabin/house ov’r yonder ta make it safety. If we didn’t do sumptin’ we surely wouldn’t survive bein’ pummled to a pulp by that rush o’ giant beavers, raccoons, mices, rabbits and weasels that wuz bein’ delivered upon us. So, soakin’ the toy dino wuz the only solution Ah cood think of ta save us.

    Wouldn’ya know it, the li’l back-o-the-comicbook-ad toy grew to the size o’ a double decker Hootin’ Holler Jailhouse. It started a diggin’ in and a snortin’ and a gettin’ ready ta run towards the oncomin’ mess of magnified critters.

    Shoot howdy! Them critters twert stupid. They done seen their ancient ancestor, all neon yeller and a ragin’ like a crazy cajun and just as drunk as I wuz (or as a ragin’ cajun usually is on a Sattiday night), startin’ ta run t’wards ‘em with its horned head aimin’ straight at ‘em. And, they thunk twice about messin’ wif ‘im. They turned tail and…and this is war it is diffy cult to reckon…they turned tail and made a trail t’wards where we left Doc!

    The dust. Ashes ta ashes. The dust billowed high above the treetops, fanned by the giant wings of majestic and terrorfyin’ eagles and fanned ever moreso by the ginormous shimmerin’ and hungry hummin’birds. We couldn’t see nuttin’ but dust.

    Good riddance to bad geneticists, a voice uttered through clenched teeth.

    Ah turned jus’ as Mark Trail, wildlife reporter and shaggy man spat at the groun’. That wild man o’ horneytoad apparently had a grudge ta pick with the Ol’ Man, Doc. Wut it wuz he didn’t say. Ya cood tell though.

    Ah looked o’er at Race and Race looked me in the face and gestured for me ta ask no further, by motionin’ wif his palm face down like he wuz smoothin’ out the wrinkled funny pages laid upon a table top.

    Ah knew when ta shut up and as Mark Trail march onward to hit the dusty trail, Ah knew it wuz for the best to just find that li’l boy puppet, Rusty. So, we went forward.

  177. Calico
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#86):
    Looks like they’ve both gone senile.

  178. Calico
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#95):
    “There stood this monster mouse
    He’s ten feet tall
    With teeth and claws to match
    It only took one blow”

  179. Chip Whittle
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#115):

    So rearing up and throwing off the circus performer is unlikely. Today’s turn of events actually seems to be triggering some action by Peter Parker, however, so I’m going to see how it plays out before I call foul.

    So, wait, you don’t think there’s something fishy about the strip’s claim that something has triggered action by Peter Parker?

  180. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 2nd, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#115): That’s not good enough! I want to see him pick up Clod-9 with his trunk and try to beat the toy mouse to death with him. Dramatic necessity commands it!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#148): That reminds me of a recent tweet of mine: “By the time we found out that Uncle Joe’s incontinence belt didn’t work, he’d already voided the warranty.”

  181. bats :[
    September 2nd, 2012 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    MW: okay. Fine. I get it. There will never be another pool party. There will never be another broken heart. There will never be another child kidnapped. We have devolved in the the most tedious MW plot ever. What a waste of dead trees.

    RMMD: OTOH, I am loving you, Morgan and Wilson and Nolan! Thank you thank you thank you!

    FC: sadly, I have to admit I always liked grown-up Billy with a beard…sort of Kenneth Branaghesque…

  182. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    I wish I could remember where I saw this but it was just this past week that I did.

    There is a cartoon where Spider-Man villains are standing around a flattened Spidey and one of the villains (maybe The Green Goblin?) had a giant shoe.

    And, someone is saying something like: “Is that all it took to defeat him? A giant shoe?”

    slylock, the foxiest fox Without squinting to divine the answer, two things:

    One, it was a “forest parade” and not a rampaging stampede. Oh well.
    Two, Yicky Mouse is gonna pee in the trays. When it comes to foiling a wolf, who hasn’t done just that?

    Family Circus:
    Seriously? His remorse involves a futuristic fantasy where he….? Ah, cripes! I just realized his mom is all alone. I can’t snark that.

    Hi & Lois: Ah! They kept the black overtones to a minimum, gave Thirsty another reason to live and in the final panel they made Lois and Whozit look as high as Mt. Killamonganja!

    Blondie:
    After the Dagwood/Doggie Pizza Party, I’m thinking Daisy used her opposable thumbs to the hilt and gave Dagwood a quick massage.

    Beetle Bailey: I’d like for Halftrack to show those Pluggers a what-for when they “cleverly” complain about their good ol’ days and their simpler pleasures. Though, he might be obligated to slaughter them because they seem like a bunch of potentially threatening invasive specieses…eses….zez.

    Nancy: Wow. Fritzi didn’t deny that Nancy is not her daughter. Is the Unca Donald rule in effect here or has it be breached?

    @bats :[ (#181):
    RE: Mary Worth: Agreed.
    It doesn’t seem to matter if Mary opens her mouth or keeps it shut, it doesn’t matter if Wilbur sits up straight or cranes his neck like a cat counting pieces of dried catfood falling from the bag to the bowl.

    Boring!

    A little, dapper dab of Dawn angst wouldn’t negate this tepid storyline.

  183. Poteet
    September 2nd, 2012 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    MW — And on Monday we’ll see Dawn starting a blog about how she is SO totally over Dave, a claim she’ll continue to make daily for the next three months. Kill me now.

  184. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    Hmmm… Maybe Mary could be spiced up if Mary, Wilbur and Dawn, unbeknownst to each other, sees a psychiatrist to deal with their selective monotonies. If the creative team were able to condense weeks into a week, starting on a Monday and ending the storyline by Sunday when all three of the main (!!%@!#) characters encounter each character in the waiting room, realize their problems revolve around their freakier than all-get-out closeness to each other then perhaps they can each go in different directions and allow Nola Wolferson to take her rightful place as sylishly heir-apparent to the strip then and only then will….

    ah, crap. Even what I’m writing about Mary Worth is freaking boring!
    I fell asleep twice trying to get through that previously, freakish attempt at a sentence!.

    Rats! Replace ‘em all with comedic rats!

  185. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2012 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    @There have always been Snarkadders at Curmudgeon Farm (#128): The feminine of “Curmudgeon” is either Curmudgessa or Curmudgatrix.

  186. Comcis Fan
    September 2nd, 2012 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    MW: The Santa Royale Clarion, like much of the print newspaper industry, seems to be listing to port, even throwing Wilbur off-balance in his ridiculously fancy office. Gyroscopically fitted Mary, meanwhile, remains steady as usual. When Mary hits that F12 button, she will issue her anti-doomsday virus that somehow forces humanity to help one another, and survive!

  187. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2012 at 3:56 am [Reply]

    OMG! Spiderman!!! I love it! Panel 2, the lady recoiling in horror at seeing the Spidey-junk flying inches above her face. “Irish Curse” is what she’s thinking.

    Then Spidey falls, pun intended, for the oldest trick in the book! OMG! He’s giving Rusty Trail a strident run in the Stupidest Comic Character marathon.

  188. Droopy Says
    September 2nd, 2012 at 3:58 am [Reply]

    Spider-Bland: Cue the music from a Tex Avery cartoon.

    Creepy Les: Well, he had to emerge some time. But what’s happened to him? That isn’t Creepy’s Les’s usual arrogant smirk in the last panel. Is that really a sympathetic expression, or should I schedule an emergency visit to my eye doctor?

    Family Circus: After decades of therapy, Bily returns home to let Thel know that his book about his life in the Keane Kompound has become a best seller. “Remember that day you punished me for something I didn’t do? They say the chapter about that could win me a Pullitzer Prize. So, thank you, mommy!”

  189. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2012 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox=AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

  190. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#189):

    Well, man! What is the solution? What did the mouse do, unplug the fridge? Knee-cap the wolf?
    Drink the water from the ice cube tray?
    Call the cops?

    Take out a hairdryer and melt the ice cubes frustrating the wolf so much that he decided to stop being an anthropomorphic freak of nature and resume his hunt for smaller, more helpless creatures, forever giving up silly pranks like throwing ice cubes at a so-called Forest Parade (which was probably just a freedom of expression thing for some of the Forest Critters who had taken up with Single Pluggers who didn’t quite feel like they belonged to the Greater Pluggerpolitan community and didn’t feel the need to complain or wax nostalgic about anything because all they really desired was some primal loving)?

    Wha’ happened?

  191. Baka Gaijin
    September 2nd, 2012 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#190): AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! Salty ice is salty. No, you fool, EVILSCARYCLOWNS!!!! A quartet of them! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!! [QLUNQ!]

  192. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 4:35 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#191):

    Yup. Them’s some scary and evil looking clowns alright.

    So, salting the water, eh? That was my first thought but I’ve been bested by that blasted, mouthless Fox for so long that I’ve given up on reasonable answers.

    So, the mouse called the fox or vice versa; the mouse is illegally in the wolf’s house; somehow the mouthless duo of Foxy and Icky are conversing over cell phones; the wolf is so obsessed with his (pointless) prank that he doesn’t overheard the conversation, which may be because they don’t have mouths and may just be holding wallets to their faces and not cell phones….

    oy gevault!

    Thankfully, I don’t know what “logic” means so….yawn….so….zzzzzz….tired.

    But, I shall persevere and remain ever vigilant of things as I try to draw that Dancing Dog. (the dancing mouse atop the cane keeps tripping me up).

  193. tallyHO
    September 2nd, 2012 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#192):

    “and may just be holding wallets to their faces and not cell phones….”

    Just as I was about to close that tab, I realized Ickibody Mouse might be holding a twinkie to his mouse ear.

    Yup. I looked at it more closely.

    I’m ashamed.

  194. Da Coconino Kid
    September 2nd, 2012 at 6:41 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#144):

    Kind of like the classic solecism of making a new word using both Greek and Latin roots.

    Surely that would be a “classical solecism”?

  195. Liam
    September 2nd, 2012 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    RMMD-You have to love the Fifties sensibilities of Rex and June when it comes to swimsuits. “Oh my! Don’t you have something that will cover my entire body and a hat. A large floppy hat.”

  196. Whofox
    September 2nd, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Not only has Greg put on a tie but Margo has lost her neck-hugging undershirt. It’s pretty clear that we’ve been cheated out of shenanigans here.

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