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Don’t disappoint me, Chekhov’s chainsaw

Apartment 3-G, 10/23/12

“I’ll miss her. She was mighty handy with a taser!” says Margo, referring to a character who tried to tase one of the girls’ nemeses three and a half years ago and has been seen maybe three or four times since. Thus, Margo looking directly out of the panel at the reader and referencing Mrs. Bloom’s one wacky distinguishing characteristic is the equivalent of someone on a sitcom mugging for cheap audience applause, except in this case nobody can hear the applause because we’re all reading at home alone, and really the only people who remember a three-and-a-half-year-old one-day gag from Apartment 3-G are probably the people who read this blog. So let’s all applaud! The good folks at Apartment 3-G central deserve it! The rest of the world is no doubt just slightly but measurably more baffled by Apartment 3-G than usual.

Judge Parker, 10/23/12

Bubba seems quite receptive to Avery’s plan to become a “partner” to Bea in the operation of her fishing lodge, and also possibly in other ways (nudge) (wink) (I’m talking about a sex partnership, in which they have sex with each other). He hasn’t exactly given Bubba a reason not to dismember him with a chainsaw, though, unless he’s trying to weave a sense of “Look, I very much don’t want to trouble your harmlessly massive marijuana grow operation.” The only obstacle to a happy ending for all is Sam, who, among his many fine qualities, is a reliable prig who won’t let illegal things like massive marijuana grow operations go unreported to the authorities. Chainsaw dismemberment is still a possibility, is what I’m saying!

Dennis the Menace, 10/23/12

Hmm, Dennis offering to turn snitch? I rate this: mildly menacing.

239 responses to “Don’t disappoint me, Chekhov’s chainsaw”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth — Sunny Jim also steadfastly refuses to watch Piers Morgan on CNN or read anything written by Piers Anthony because it’s “not safe”!

  2. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MT: “I am the ruler of Long-Pants Island, and my subjects do my bidding. Except for the deer—they play by their rules, not ours!”

    A3G: Hee! That’s pretty darn funny—Wait, is Margo staring directly into my soul? ((shudder))

    MW: “It’s not safe! See this hand? I used to have another one just like it!”

  3. Felix Margay
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    AS-M: “But first I’m gonna hit the roulette tables and see if this spider-sense is actually good for anything.”

    FC: Well, there’s one leg of the Macdonald triad.

    GT: While I expected Gil Thorp to feature some kind of anti-Irish, nativist backlash as part of this story, I’m a bit surprised that someone of Lini’s, ahem, presumed proclivities, would spearhead the Milford Know-Nothing Club.

    Mark: “And from now, Mr. Trail, you will be known as Number 6.”

  4. Mary Worthless
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Don’t go to The Pier, it isn’t safe. I went there for a meal and they charged me an arm and a leg for it.

    BTW, did you notice that I have a peg leg?

  5. CanuckDownSouth
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    The only thing getting dismembered is that tree – to make carting Sam’s surely-soon-to-be-bestowed new wealth down the mountain easier. JP’s writer heard “Chekhov’s gun” as any gun seen in the first act must be discharged safely in a controlled cleaning / reload scene by the third act

  6. sporknpork
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Josh, do you have that last panel with Margo appear when you start up your computer, as she says “Hello, Josh, you’re quite good at turning me on” a la Mr. Burns?

  7. Gabacho
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – So Dawn is so fixated on getting one armed Jim to love her that she didn’t pay any attention to the fact that her doppelganger, his sister, was crushed to death on the very pier where Dawn proposes a romantic stroll?

    Dawn, it is this lack of attention to detail that caused Dave to dump you. I thought you would have learned by now.

  8. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    MW-”Damnit, Merry, I’ve lost you once before and I am not going to lose you again. Now come back to your cage in the basement so I can protect from all the ills of the world.”

    RMMD-”I don’t trust these doctors. People go to see them and don’t come back.”

    FW-Plus we can also show you where you guys were conceived.

  9. Chareth Cutestory
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: So when you’ve got a massive marijuana operation you can afford to have a huge fish tank and renovate a mine shaft into a comfy cozy hideaway. But you want to keep it secret so you can’t hire contractors. Then its a DIY job and you use a chainsaw? Wait maybe he bought it from another supervillain after most of the heavy lifting had been done. Either way, I just wasted both of our time by voicing these ideas.

    Dennis the Menace: “What kind of information do I want? OK, tell me how I became a sad, lonely man standing all day at an information minidesk.” Existential!

  10. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    JP: When did Bubba go from “I’m so busy that no one is to disturb me as I harvest my illegal crop” to “I will share a single malt scotch over breakfast and negotiate with a guy who has nothing to offer me”?

    Bubba is paying Bea to stay closed. If he wanted a lodge up and running, he’d simply stop paying her.

    So, Avery wants to own a lodge in the woods. I would imagine that since he owns a private learjet, he has some means. There are many rivers, many woods and lodges can be bought or built. Does it have to be this lodge, Avery? Is the advertising pamphlet for the lodge going to be “Come take a tour of the nearby, quaint, historic marajuana plantation and abandoned mine shaft! Pose for pictures with a chainsaw weilding head of a drug cartel!”?

  11. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: Since Darkgate dropped A3G, my coverage has been spotty. How did Greg buy the apartment from Margo, Tommie and Luann without their consent? Did they even put it up for sale?

  12. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#9): I thought it was a fishtank at first, but it is a painting (could be of a fishtank). Bubba obviously did what the other mega villians do, which is to hire an army of excavators, plumbers, electricians, contractors, etc. to create his secret megaplex.

    Then kill them.

    I’ve thought of this handy construction strategy when I was building my house, and I ran the numbers. It really changes the financing structure.

  13. jvwalt
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: From the dreamy expression on Margo’s face, I assumed Mrs. Bloom had discovered the only way to crack through Margo’s tough exterior and induce orgasm was through the direct application of 50,000 volts. “Mmm, the things that woman could do with a Taser!”

  14. Chareth Cutestory
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#12): Giant plasma screen displaying a fish tank loop.

    I guess if you’re a bad guy living in a renovated mine shaft, it’d be pretty dumb not to get the maximum body disposal privileges that shaft provides. Otherwise its like a house with a pool but nobody ever goes swimming.

  15. Bonwah
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    So: George W. Bush is spending his retirement years volunteering at an information booth in ‘Dennis the Menace’?

  16. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#2): Re: MW See this hand? I used to have another one just like it!”

    “It was actually pretty inconvenient, having two right hands. I never knew which one to use in certain …. intimate situations. The doctors were going to cut one off and replace it with a prosthetic left hand, but before they could agree on which one to cut off, the accident on the pier happened and made the whole issue moot. Thus, my riches.”

  17. Mibbitmaker
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    A3G, meta: Aw, I miss Mrs. Bloom, too. Thank you for your uncharacteristic sympathy for us here in CC Land, Margo.

    A3G: He got that apartment with two other guys. And they’re not very nice. You know how “3G” means “three girls”? Well, Apartment 3J means “three jerks”.

    MW: Talk to the hand… the only hand!

    MW, long version: The creepy shit is just going to be ignored, then? Yikes.
    At this point, a bungled attempt at analogy (pier = disturbing relationship) using lame dialogue after ignoring obvious, actual “not safe, don’t go there” (to reprogram the dialogue a bit) will NOT mitigate the squick.

    S-M: Not pleasure for us, he means (not unironic pleasure, anyway)

    MT:
    “Stalag 13.”
    “What, Trail?”
    “…..Nothing.”

  18. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#12):

    Just make sure that you kill the worker who you hired to dig the shallow graves for everyone last. And try to hire a gravedigger who is innumerate, otherwise they may start asking uncomfortable questions…

  19. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    SBp: most boring tentacles ever.

    Bizzaro: umm, wow. just wow.

    JUMBLE: egg pizza? that’s called quiche.

    MG&G: how come the Flash gets the chest symbol wrong, while Bats and original Green Lantern are ok?

    PMP: that worked better on Futurama.

    SFx: Doc makes his “Rex face” as the Witch hopes for a little extra examination, iykwim, aittyd.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .Chris Hansen. why don’t you have a seat?

  21. Hibbleton
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MT: Probably not a good idea to rerun strips from a time when a young revolutionary named Fidel Castro was still a popular figure in america.

    MW: Dawn suddenly remembers: “Oh, yeah. This is the psych wing!”

  22. pastordan, lazy professor
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: The bus station in Las Vegas has to be the saddest place in the world, other than Brooke McEldowney’s fan mail inbox.

    Apt. 3-G: They really should have timed this gag for June 16th and substituted “Dublin” for “Florida.” Happy, indeed.

    Judge Parker: The obvious answer is that Avery’s going to open up the huge and lucrative Hollywood market to Bubba, saving the chainsaw for use in … Luann. Bonus: you didn’t seriously think Peaches would go anywhere without her Uzi, did you?

    Lockhorns: @TheLockhorns is taken, but @LorettaLockhorn is available. That is all.

    Mark Trail: “I am the ruler of my people, and that means they will treat you like I tell them to!” “Well, I did miss Steak and Blowjob Day because I was kidnapped…” “Funny, on the island, we celebrate that on March 14th.” “Work with me, dammit.”

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Well, sir, thanks to the socialized medicine of Obamacare, they’ve been able to clone an army of beefwits such as myself. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shower full of blonde to contend with.”

  23. Dartpaw86
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Where the heck is Dennis? To me it looks like a restaurant but what restaurant has an information booth?
    The guy is writing on what I assume is a guest list of sorts which that situation makes more sense with the formal attire he has on.

    I mean all I can guess is, Airport, Funeral, Restaurant, or Mall. But a funeral home and restaurant are the only ones that would warrant formal attire. But the place looks to classy (as well as the man with a smug smile in the background) for a funeral home, so back to my older question, what Restaurant has an information booth?!

    Then again it could be a museum or a lobby of a high class business building, but Museums wouldn’t be that formal, and if it was a high class business building then the guy giving information would likely be the security guard.

    Also, Dennis wouldn’t be caught dead in either.

  24. Dan
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    “Florida” is the name of a farm upstate, right? Where Mrs. Bloom can run around with other old women, and nobody has to deal with Tommie crying?

  25. Doug Puthoff
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    DTM: Now playing Number Six, Dennis Mitchell.

    (And great Chekhov reference, Josh).

  26. Marc
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    A3G- Uh oh, Margo is looking directly at us. Don’t look her in the eyes. Legend has it that if you do, you turn to stone.

    Mark Trail- Don’t worry Mark, once you get used to the druggings, The Island isn’t a bad place at all.

    Mary Worth- NO! You must never go to the pier, IT’S NOT SAFE! I swear, scouts honor. Now promise me you will never ever go there Merry…. errr I mean Dawn…. I mean Merry.

    Funky- So everybody is already taking off and there is no reception. Well that settles that argument. Good luck booking a caterer for a wedding only a week in advance. So everybody had to show up, freeze their asses off, and suffer through the smug Les fest. And for their suffering they don’t even get a meal or at the very least a little booze. Worst wedding ever.

    Luann- “Duuuuhhhh you think I’m dumb don’t you?”
    “Yes Ox, I really do. Have you ever listened to yourself speak before? There’s better conversation to be had with a rock. I doubt you’re really up on the county sales tax code. So either pay me or get the fuck out and go to Burger Barn.”

    DTM- Dennis is trying to solicite a bribe. For the right price, he’s willing to let slip all those little secrets that Joey made him swear never to reveal.

  27. Horace Broon
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1):
    I am 100% in agreement with Jim on the first count, and at least see his point on the second.

  28. Dartpaw86
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#24):

    Why do I have a feeling Margo “Arranged” her to go to Florida knowing HunkyMcSexington would move in.

  29. S.Stout
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Luann: Ox has been portrayed as mentally challenged for months now (“Am that!”) but when Ann does something completely unrealilistic such as risking her job over two dollars, Ox becomes a math whiz who can speak complete sentences. This odd character reversal is similar to Gunther punching through a brick wall, or Brad not begging for sex every second with Toni.

  30. Dartpaw86
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Why do I have a feeling that Jim is the wanted “Ugly girls that all look-alike Strangler” or in fact Merry was Dawn, but he clones his victims before he kills them (Using mad scientist skills he gives them preset memories of Dawn from before he kills them so each clones just goes home like nothing happened) Who knows who many versions of Dawn have died over the last several years.

    In fact Jim will be cloning himself and Dawn over and over again, so he can murder her for all eternity.

  31. Dartpaw86
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#30):

    Wanders hasn’t updated in about 3-4 days. Maybe he knew this too, and Jim didn’t want him spreading word around… >:D

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Bubba’s lolcat, and a related Halloween costume.

    not sure if this adorbable bullpuppy is for bb,u or Sequitur.

    as featured a few Sunday’s back in MT.

    Poteet was a dish back in the day. just say’n.

    otter haz a log.

    stairs are hard when you have stumpy legs.

  33. Dono
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#10):

    It has to be this lodge because Moby Dick Old Hardy is there!

  34. Horace Broon
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    GT: Tomorrow’s Mitford Star front page: “IMMIGRANT COUP AT SCHOOL! Reports of teacher deaths still to be confimed! All Gil Thorpe’s fault, probably!”

    MT: The ruler gauges Mark’s intelligence level, and decides he should probably explain that the island is surrounded by water.

    Pluggers: You don’t need to be a Plugger to know there’s a difference between so-called “reality” shows being faked, and escapist fiction.

  35. Spunde
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    DtM: From the expression on their faces, I’d say they both know what kind of information Dennis has. The kind that brings Information Man one public shaming closer to a date with a 200-grain ball of lead.

    Menacing? Well, that’s for the man to decide. All Dennis is saying is, ice cream has a way of making people forget information.

  36. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Baldo – Something to look forward to. I never see anybody dressed up as Cantinflas these days.

    Gasoline – The story’s scraping the urban legend barrel, but the art today has beautiful scratchboard work.

  37. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    love is… …seeing-eye babies.

    Mary – Don’t let him push you around, Dawn. Resist pier pressure!

    Grimm – Whoa! Atomic Flash AND Triangle Man!

  38. seismic-2
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    A-3G: “She was mighty handy with a taser. Our weekly dominatrix get-togethers at ‘Mistress Margo’s Palace of Pain’ just won’t be the same without her.”

  39. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – Is he suggesting that “Batman” is fake? Holy disillusion!

    Popeye – Stand by for big laffs as it’s revealed that this new character is… short!! Stock up on side splints and knee balm.

    Shoe – “Old buzzard” must be a harsh epithet in Birdland.

  40. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    MW— Jim is showing signs of being a possessive abuser. He has known Dawn just a short time, but he is already trying to keep her away from her pier group.

  41. wossname
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    A3GWell, I said Apt. 3-F, but I was close.

    RMMD – “Herb, I can’t go with you – I have to take care of all those poor people in panel 1 with no faces. I think smelling salts will bring them around.”

    MT – Now we need Senora Momjeans to come rescue Mark – except after the way he dumped her and Mini-Momjeans at Miami Airport, he probably shouldn’t count on it.

    FW – Who the hell are any of those people?

    MW – Oh dear. Not only is Jim an amputee, he also suffers from pierophobia.

  42. exapno
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Luann – Seems like they are setting up Ms Eiffel for canning, and Guess Who gets the manager’s job?

  43. Red Greenback
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    If Margo was shown finger-quotin’, I would have had a dozen long-stemmed roses delivered to Margaret Shulock’s dressing room. “I’ll miss her. She was mighty ‘handy’ with a ‘taser’.”

  44. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#41): “…I have to take care of all those poor people in panel 1 with no faces. I think smelling salts will bring them around.”

    What will they smell them with?

  45. Greg
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: “As of now I officially own apartment 3-J… and soon I will officially own your va-J-J.” *Gets slapped* *Goes home and throws out Max Tucker books*

  46. Greg
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Oops, I mean Tucker Max. (His name is stupid either way.)

  47. Austria
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    BC: IS THAT A VOLTORB– oh. Peh. Never mind.

    FC: Whoa, this strip is getting deep. I want to see a Family Circus soap opera.

    H&L: Boy, Hi has really been on a roll lately. First it was “things no human would ever say” and now it’s “things no adult would ever say”? He’s just getting more and more specific here.

    Luann: About Ox being kinda slow and then suddenly a math whiz, maybe he’s a savant. That’s probably giving the strip too much credit, though.

  48. Ned Ryerson
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    If you follow Josh’s link to find out more about Mrs. Bloom and her taser you will also by treated to a Funky Winkerbean strip showing Les and Cayla dating which is HILARIOUS!

  49. bunivasal
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Wait, turtleneck/trenchcoat combo? What appears to be Dick Cheney? I don’t think Dennis is becoming a snitch. I think he’s turning into a spook.

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Watch Your Head

    Coming soon to a theatre near you:

    What happens when two lovable losers stowaway on an alien’s TARDIS?

    FRANK AND ERNEST GO TO SKARO!

    …Rated “E” for “EX-TER-MI-NATE!”

    (Doctor Who premiered on this day in 1963!)

  51. Chip
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I want a refund!

    “The only obstacle to a happy ending for all is Sam, who, among his many fine qualities, is a reliable prig who won’t let illegal things like massive marijuana grow operations go unreported to the authorities. Chainsaw dismemberment is still a possibility, is what I’m saying!”

    Just a reworded version of my comment from the other day!

  52. Dood
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Kudos to the Shell Answer Man for preparing to take Dennis’ dictation with his lovingly rendered Dixon Ticonderoga pencil.

  53. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#46):

    “Max Tucker” sounds like a good name for a well-endowed drag queen.

  54. Dood
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Didn’t Mrs. Bloom have a cat named Snuggles or something? Did the cat convey? What about the piano?

  55. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Like any two megalomaniac tyrants, Avery and Bubba divide the lodge, the residents and the rest of the world between them.

    Bubba: You might own the lodge, but Bea’s a different story!

    Avery: I’ll take Bea and I’ll give you Indonesia.

    Bubba: Indonesia AND Kamchacta.

    Avery: Both? No! Then you’ll hold all of Australia and have a defensive wall for your conquest of North America! I’ll give you East Africa.

    Bubba: I see what you’re up to, Avery. You’ll never hold all of Asia for more than a turn anyway. Too many entry points.

    Avery: Then prepare to meet me in battle! Roll your dice!

  56. Santa Royale With Cheese
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    JP: Brought to you by… Comixed.

    DtM: Hasn’t the “menace level” been set to “mildly” for like, ever?

  57. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#32): I’ll claim him! What a cutie-pie!

  58. Pozzo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    DtM: “…’cause I can tell you things about Mr. Wilson that’d make your hair curl.”

  59. Uncle Lumpy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#14):

    Giant plasma screen displaying a fish tank loop.

    Undersea viewport, from the Dr. No scratch ‘n’ dent estate sale.

    @Dood (#54):

    What about the piano?

    Ha — have you ever actually seen this “piano”?

  60. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48):

    Wow. Who is that person with Les, and was she also named “Cayla”?

    Seeing the results of this story line so soon after the whole “Gay Prom” arc really makes the author’s cowardice evident. He wants credit for being “controversial”, while avoiding any actual controversy. So Cayla gets the Michael Jackson facial reconstruction and the Gay Prom has the magic hands in the castle. Why wasn’t Becky’s Mom called in to play the Token Bigot objecting to Les’ marriage?

    Minister: “If any person here … yadda yadda … speak now or forever hold … blah blah”
    Token Bigot: “I object! I object! The bride is clearly a n….”
    Minister: “I see nothing in this book forbidding me from marrying these two, so I guess it is OK. I now pronounce you Smug Douchebag and Doormat. Les, you may kiss the ghost of your dead wife.”

    It also reminds readers that even his signature plot twist – the Death of Saint Dead Lisa – wasn’t so edgy in retrospect, given that she still shows up in the strip on a weekly basis. Big Pussy from the Sopranos wishes he had got as much work after his character was killed.

  61. Dood
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#59): Well, uhm, no, but we were told about it. Extensively. Like many objects in the Margo-verse.

  62. Ned Ryerson
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh, Ann’s gonna overtax your weenie allright, Ox!

    (Seriously, Evan is on to some dynamite interplay here! Ox and Ann are like Tracy and Hepburn with perhaps a trace of Dave & Maddie, Sam & Diane, Frank & Hot Lips, Twiki & Dr. Theopolis, etc)

  63. Downpuppy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): That old FW finally explains the thousands of comments about the de-blacking of Cayla.

  64. Snarkotix Addict
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    MW – I can’t believe that Dawn is so insensitive as to ask Jim to go to the pier, the very scene of his tragic dismemberment. Dawn sure has a mean streak, and I’m not talking about the one in her hair!

  65. Dood
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Can we get back to the clams now?

  66. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): Gosh, has it really been 3 years since Adrian (MW) met Officer Everbland? Josh sure called that relationship, didn’t he?

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): Mary Worth — Sunny Jim also steadfastly refuses to watch Piers Morgan on CNN or read anything written by Piers Anthony because it’s “not safe”!

    Not that there aren’t plenty of other good reasons, too.

  68. wossname
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#44): Oh, you do not want to know how Rex applies smelling salts to people with no noses.

  69. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    H&J: Don’t you hate doing the same bad joke as Shoe did a few days ago?

    MW: Not safe at the pier? Clearly, Jim lost his arm to a loose seal.

    Monty: A Lieutenant Leslie reference is pretty impressive in a newspaper comic. Meddick, you pass.

    Shoe: Among the bird-folk, calling someone an “old buzzard” has to be some kind of racial slur.

    QC: Pickle barrel kumquat pickle barrel kumquat pickle barrel kumquat chimicherrychanga!

  70. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-Dennis is on his way to becoming a snitch. Now don’t forget the important about not remember information until they give you some money.

  71. bats :[
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @S.Stout (#29): agreed. What the hell is wrong with this strip (i.e., what the hell is wrong with Evans?)? Has he been reading readers’ commentary, only to discover that his villains aren’t villainous enough? Really, really lame.

    @Ned Ryerson (#62): maybe you’re right, since Evans has apparently already exhausted the interpersonal relationships between Gunther and Maria (is that her name?), Skatr Boi and Goth Girl, Luann’s mom and every guy under 20 in the strip, Luann and Quill, B-wad and Toni, etc. (I’m amazed at how many of the names I don’t know.) It seems that Ann and Ox are the next couple to be high-lighted, but don’t be surprised if Puddles and Shannon reappear.

  72. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD-I don’t trust hospitals since they opened a Soylent Green factory next to a hospital.

  73. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Luann-Ox would fall for that if the guy who smiles beatifically was doing it.

  74. bbofun
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#10): See, Avery’s a producer. That means he doesn’t actually want to do the work of, say, building and running a lodge (or writing a screenplay or directing a film)- he just wants to say “I’m the creative force behind this” (i.e. “I put up the money”).

  75. Dood
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: If Avery and Bea team up to own and manage this new fishing resort, can I suggest that they call it Beavery Lodge?

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#36): Gasoline – The story’s scraping the urban legend barrel, but the art today has beautiful scratchboard work.

    You can’t fault Scancarelli’s abilities as draughtsman.

  77. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#73): And it would be charming. We’ve established that Evans’s heroes and villains both enjoy swindling fast-food customers, but the difference is that the heroes are good at it.

  78. Snarkotix Addict
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Can someone please tell me what the point is now of having Ann Eiffel as a character? Okay, so she’s evil. But that used to mean something when she was humiliating Brad, or fighting with Toni. Now she’s reduced to trying to cheat a high school kid out of two bucks. And failing. If she’s really evil then why isn’t she poisoning Shannon, or seducing Gunther? She needs to get her bad groove back, or just move on.

  79. Snarkotix Addict
    October 23rd, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    FW – And, for the rest of us, nausealgia.

  80. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Since Mr. Weatherbee is changing his name will Moose still go by Moose.

    FC-Then she is smarter than your mother and ate her young.

  81. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#78):

    Luann seems to suffer from the same stream-of-consciousness plot lines as 9CL does. This whole thing was originally a revenge scheme on the evil Ann for making Brad work rather than sitting in the booth with his friends while he was on the clock. And, if she ends up being fired for trying to emulate TJ’s manipulative schemes for extracting money from the customers (“You will be our millionth customer if you upsize! Oh! Just missed! That’ll be $14.99.”), then I guess the scheme will have worked. But the author seems to have forgotten all this and wandered off into an “Evil Ann doesn’t appreciate TJ’s marketing genius, and cheated him out of a well-deserved promotion!” story that will end with her being fired for trying to rob a regular customer of $2, thus giving TJ his dream job of Manager at Weenie World.

    As long as the pretty girl gets put in her place, I guess it is all the same to Greg.

  82. Illustrator Steve
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Here is our little village, Senor Trail. As you can see it is so poor that we cannot afford luxuries such as colorization. All the color stops over there at the edge of our little village where that deer is standing. That deer is colorized because it swam over from the main island, which is in HD technicolor. We do not accept those technicolor deer in our little village because we do not share their colorful politics.”

  83. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Greg (#46): Oops, I mean Tucker Max. (His name is stupid either way.)
    With a name like Tucker, doesn’t he have to be good? [*]

    @Liam (#73): Ox would fall for that if the guy who smiles beatifically was doing it.
    TJ? Beatific? He grimaces like a three-day-dead Joker.

    @Snarkotix Addict (#79): “Naustalgea”! I think I’ll use that.

  84. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    MT-Our boats are full of holes. We need money from people that we kidnap from their boats to buy new boats.

  85. Chaze
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    ASM – So PP taking the bus to Vegas was a big cheat, designed to do what, exactly? Provide more proof that PP is a limp noodle and JJJ is a jerk? Well…duh. These side trips down rabbit holes just seem like a ploy to buy time.

    A3G – Molly Bloom moved out? Now who’s gonna provide stream of consciousness and screaming orgasms in the building? And Greg is starting to look more and more like Larry from Three’s Company.

    JP – In keeping with JP’s boob fixation, Bubba is wearing a pink headband in support of breast cancer awareness. And YOU thought it was just to match his par-boiled skin color.

  86. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Florida? Is that where we said she moved to to cover up the fact that we instead brutally murdered her.

  87. Chaze
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    FW – This strip gives me neuralgia, right in my central cortex.

    Curtis – So let me get this straight. A loser like Gunther is going to pass on Verde Green, who appears to be a real winner, because of her squeaky laugh. If I didn’t know better, I would say men are jerks.

    RMMD – Take a hike, Herb. I’ve done enough doctoring for one day. Actually for about a month.

  88. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    YT #161 – Thelma and Louise, Beetle and Sarge-style.

  89. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    YT #112 – that also brings to mind JG in Roseanne, where the family keeps drinking from, and then putting back in the in the frig, the container of sour milk.

  90. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#83): “Naustalgea”! I think I’ll use that.

    Apply directly to the forehead! Apply directly to the forehead!

  91. Illustrator Steve
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Tell me, Senor Ruler, WHO are these young fellows who have run here to greet you?”
    “They are my sons, Rusto and Inepto. The childish fools always show up to greet me after I have been away for many months. The silly boys always seem to think I will drop what I am doing to take them fishing. As the ruler of our little village I have proclaimed a law allowing fathers to promise their children they will take them fishing but do not have to ever actually take the little cretins fishing. I have also passed a law banishing any children from our little village that act like imbeciles and look like mutants!”
    “I have had dreams of a paradise such as this but NEVER thought it possible that one would exist! …Senor Ruler? I would like to renounce my citizenship from my area and become a permanant citizen of your little village!”
    “What of your big dog, Senor Trail?”
    “Can your villagers take their dog fishing with him?”
    “Why yes, of course.”
    “Then the dog stays!”

  92. StevenThomas
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    DENNIS THE MENACE: Loyal to whatever evil cult to which he belongs, Dennis reaches into his back pockets for cyanide tablets in the face of a possible interrogation.

  93. Illustrator Steve
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    MT – “WHAT do you usually feed your kidnap victims, Senor Ruler?”
    “We are such a poor people that all we can feed the kidnap victims is PANCAKES. Pancakes, pancakes and MORE pancakes!”
    “In that case, please contact my friend, Bill Ellis via the 1942 Marconi device we have on board the yacht and tell him to take his sweet time gathering the ransom money. And be sure to tell him to count and recount the two million dollars. Come to think of it, tell Bill to get the entire 2,000,000.00 in pennies. No sense rushing into these things.”

  94. sally
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48):

    If you follow Josh’s link to the sadly departed taser lady, you will not only get to see Cayla when she was black but also a Mary Worth strip featuring a woman with Dawn’s awful haircut talking to a guy who looks exactly like Jim except that he has two arms. I’m shocked, shocked by this continuity error. Wait — unless — did Jim start his serial killing of Ugly Women Who All Look Alike with “Adrien” and did she take off his arm in the process? Does that explain it?

    Oh, please say it does.

  95. Illustrator Steve
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MT – “You say your little village does not agree with teh politics of the main island? Maybe I could help your little village by having some words with whoever rules the main island!”
    “You are free to try, Senor Mark. The ruler of the main island is named OTTO. He is a drug lord who has been enraged since a fellow from your country stole his airplane along with his mistress and her daughter and flew them to Miami!”
    “Umm, on second thought I think I will just hang out here in your little village. I will probably stay indoors out of sight because I am sure you know how this tropical sun can harm the skin of a fellow like me from the northern part of the hemisphere!”

  96. Gringo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    The best thing about Josh’s link to the Mrs. Bloom-with-a-Taser strip is that it also takes us back to a time in FW when Cayla was black.

  97. Daniel
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    JP Avery = Trevor Horn + Baron Harkonnen

  98. commodorejohn
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Daniel (#97): Well there’s a mental image I’ll never un-see.

  99. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    FC – so many questions, Jeffy…

    DtM to info guy:
    “What’s your middle name?”
    “What’s your middle name?”
    “What’s your middle name?”
    *blam*

    (Props to Argo and Ben Affleck)

  100. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    … Annnnnd, Henry gets all phallic again.

  101. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Daniel (#97): He who controls the pot controls the universe!

  102. Hibbleton
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    A3J: Evan decides to open a unisex lingerie gallery while Liu Ankh visits his parents in Cambodia. Nurse Tom’s opera debut is put on hold after reports are leaked that he is no longer allowed to transport female bodies to the morgue.

  103. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    JP-”I want to rent Bea with an option to own.”

  104. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace-”There are four lights.”

  105. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#101): Should’ve gone with “he who controls the spliff…”

  106. Gal Friday
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Dibs on “Chekov’s Chainsaw” as an awesome band name!

  107. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#84): So then why didn’t they steal the big, fancy boat?

  108. tb4000
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    FW: I like how Batiuk just subtly changed Layla from an obviously black chick to an ambiguous amalgamation of Latina/Indian/whatever. His “I don’t give a fuck-ness” mentality is brazen, I will grant him that.

  109. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

  110. Liam
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#107):

    They just want to kidnap people with big fancy boats, hold them hostage, and buy big fancy boats with the money they get from kidnapping people. It’s not a perfect business plan.

  111. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    JP — Bea, hell. Avery is in love with Old Hardy, and given the discrepancies in ages and lifestyles, I don’t see it working out.

  112. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    JP — Bubba is not my type. Definitely not my type. So why do I keep staring at him? Dammit, this is what a few years of Rex and Sam and Mark and Stripey Butt can do to a person.

  113. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    MT:
    I ADVISE you NOT to take the boats. Since we gave you free run of the island and we don’t bother to tie up our boats, it would be a certain escape, which I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you NOT to attempt. We leave the keys to the ignition right on the seats of these boats, which I URGE you NOT to abscond with. Generally, our islanders go to bed around 10pm, and I COMPELL you NOT to flee, Mr. Trail! Our guards have been trained using Sgt. Snorkel highlights from Hogan’s Heroes, and I NOTIFY you NOT to confuse them. I WARN YOU! I BESEECH YOU! I PLEAD WITH YOU! DON’T LEAVE US!!!

  114. Whackadoodle
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: Don’t take the boats, Mr. Trail. The boats are on the PIER. IT’S NOT SAFE!!

  115. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    MT — Doesn’t the success of this crime depend entirely on there being no law enforcement at all to try to get the ransom money back from the village? Have I missed something?

  116. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — If Rose is still competent to handle her own affairs, then Sonny Boy has indeed no business getting into her stuff. If she is no longer competent, then serious discussions need to take place and arrangements need to be made, and swiping her checkbook doesn’t seem like the most auspicious start.

  117. Hogenmogen
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    What is Bubba’s face telling us in panel 3?

    A telling look? A moment of reflection? A brief reminisence of a single night of romance? Back when it all began… He, a bold, young ruffian in town, trying to make a break in the lucrative marajuana trade – her, the matron of the local lodge, established in town, but with a rebellious moxie all her own? Yes, it was a frenzied night of extreme passion. The smooth coutours of her shape, the rough hewn angles of his, writhing together… Sadly, not to be repeated. “Here’s your damn camera, Avery. Keep your filthy hands off my Bea.”

  118. KreatureFeatures
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: Perhaps Jim realizes that this is pier Dawn has in mind:

    Morey’s Pier of Fear

    Don’t let Jim back out, Dawn, he needs this to man up. This could be a cathartic outing for Wilbur (I Shouldn’t Be Alive) Weston as well.

  119. Marc
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#115): When you do not share the politics of the main island, anything goes.

  120. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    MW – Someone who is afraid of a pier would seem a poor match for Dawn, with her well-known love of water sports.

  121. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#117): You have a talent for this sort of thing. Please use it only for Good.

  122. Uncle Lumpy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Dawn is subjecting poor Jim to pier pressure.

  123. Stroker Ace
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Love Is… seeing hubby’s sperm bank babies.

  124. Ukulele Ike
    October 23rd, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    MW: Late that night, Jim stealthily approached Dawn’s house to pier in her bedroom window.

  125. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    MW – While it might appier that the joke has been done to death, on the other hand …. no, there is no other hand. It’s been done to death.

  126. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Josh wrote
    “Chainsaw dismemberment is still a possibility, is what I’m saying!”

    Yes, but for whom? I’m guessing on Sam. Then Bubba, Viking/Capital One guy, Bea, and Avery can all live happily ever after together, fly fishing and smoking weed. Oh, and drinking fine Scotch.

    I love it.

  127. Calico
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#124):
    “Jim, I hear there’s a sale at Pier One Imports! Would you like to go there with me this afternoon?”

    “Aaaauuuuuuuggggggghhhh nooooo it’s not safe there!”

  128. Droopy Says
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    This Mark Trail story can be resolved by bringing in the Peace Corps. Or is the New Frontier too futuristic for the clip art supply?

  129. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m glad to see that Jim has taken to heart Pope’s lines:

    “A little learning is a dang’rous thing;
    Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
    There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
    And drinking largely sobers us again.”

    // Isn’t it great to know that a classical education is still worthwhile? What? Well, et tu quoque buddy!

  130. Arabella
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#41): FW: “Who the hell are any of these people”
    For those who came in late—-

    The older couple is the Fairgoods. He was principal of WHS in the early years when Les and Funky were students. His wife, Ann, was revealed this year to have been a ground-breaking girls’ basketball coach back in that time, and still has the skills. (Unbeknownst to any of us who had read the strip from the beginning.)

    They adopted the bastard child of the pregnant teen-aged Lisa (future Lisa Moore, future St. Dead Lisa) and named him Darin. Of course no one knew (except us readers) of this relationship until years later, just before Lisa died.

    The young man here is Darin, and the frowzy-haired lady is his wife Jessica, nee Darling. You probably don’t need to remember any of this, since they’ll probably not show up again this decade.

  131. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#122): Et tu, Avunculus Glæbosus?

  132. Illustrator Steve
    October 23rd, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    MT – “The kidnapping was all a bluff, Mister Trail. What our little village is in need of is your huge dog.”
    “My dog? WHAT do you want with my dog?”
    “We are a poor people who cannot afford firewood to cook our food. We will use your dog’s dung as fuel for our cooking fires and be most greatful to him. He will live here like a king!”
    “Well, WHAT about me? Can you use MY dung and let me live here like a king too?
    “No, Mister Trail. I asked everyone in our little vllage and it seems clear that nobody here wants to take any of your shit.”

  133. Miss Othmar
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#18): Bubba’s secret will be safe just as long as Uncle Teddy is still down[stairs] digging the canal….

  134. Uncle Lumpy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#131):

    Shucks; missed it at #37.

  135. Alfred E. Neuman
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#78) said Re: Luann’s Ann Eiffel— “If she’s really evil then why isn’t she poisoning Shannon, or seducing Gunther?”

    Seducing Gunther would be demonstrating a level of depravity that Ann hasn’t shown since she tried to seduce Bernice. On the other hand, poisoning Shannon would only improve Ann’s image.

  136. seismic-2
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#129): I am always amused by how many people misquote that first line as “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”, when in fact the point that Pope was making was that schoolbook “learning” (i.e., shallow command of facts, by mere memorizing and recitation) can be confused with true “knowledge” (i.e., deep understanding of what the facts actually mean), so the people who make the mistake of saying “learning” instead of “knowledge” in that aphorism are in fact sort of demonstrating the validity of the actual quote that they just messed up.

    After hitting “Preview”, I now see that in constructing the preceding sentence I somehow made the transition from Pope to Faulkner, but still. There won’t be a grammar quiz on Reed-Kellogg sentence diagramming, will there?

  137. Jamus The Bartender
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#42): Seems like they are setting up Ms Eiffel for canning, and Guess Who gets the manager’s job?
    No idea. But I want the caning job. Damn.

  138. Jamus The Bartender
    October 23rd, 2012 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Batman the first movie series? Or the really bad serial from the forties where the actor playing Batman was all fat? Or the cartoons? Because I KNOW it’s not gonna be the Adam West TV show, because it’s all tied up in litigations.

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#136): I am always amused by how many people misquote that first line…

    I envy you. Your life must be filled with joy. How pleasant your companions must find you, chuckling and smiling over this misquotation or that malapropism! Alas, an error like that fills me with a hellish rage: Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch… It has got me in no end of trouble, I assure you. I killed a man in Reno once because of his deliberate misuse of the ablative absolute.

    // It’s a character flaw, I admit, and I grieve over it in the long winter evenings.

  140. Ukulele Ike
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139): I grieve over it in the long winter evenings.

    Was that in the original Chandler, or did Faulkner come up with it for the screenplay?

  141. odinthor
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139):

    Always remember: Getting it wrong is still getting some. This is the attitude which put me in the slammer for eight years made me the man I am today!

  142. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#140): Refulgent, sir! The original Chandler, if I recall correctly — but… now I’m not so sure. I must have copy of The Big Sleep around here somewhere…

    // Help, fellow Curmudgeons, in my hour of need!

  143. Uncle Lumpy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#141):

    The trick is to get while the getting’s good!

  144. Uncle Lumpy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    And then snoring like a grampus!

  145. Sequitur
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Oh, POTEET! Have you read today’s Over the Hedge?

    You’ve been talking to Hammy, haven’t you.

    He is so influenced by a pretty face.

  146. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#134): You should have used empierical methods.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#142): “I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners. They’re pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings.” From the book. (No sign of the phrase, as such, in “The Curtain.”)

  147. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#146): Thanks. I should have known you’d have the book to hand, if not memorized!

  148. cholling
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    JP: Bubba in that last panel looks like he can’t decide what he wants to be for Halloween: one of the guys from Contra, or the V for Vendetta guy.

  149. seismic-2
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139): I killed a man in Reno once because of his deliberate misuse of the ablative absolute.

    Your having admitted that, I shall henceforth be more careful in the use of such a construction, or I shall at least make a point of staying out of Reno.

    Las Vegas, too. There’s lots of riff-raff arriving at the bus station there, daily.

  150. Amos Snarkadder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#75):

    Judge Parker: If Avery and Bea team up to own and manage this new fishing resort, can I suggest that they call it Beavery Lodge?

    COTW!

  151. seismic-2
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#140): Was that in the original Chandler, or did Faulkner come up with it for the screenplay?

    I suspect the telling detail would be whether the character was grieving over a double shot of rye or of bourbon.

  152. The Ridger
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#10): It’s the fish! Old Hardy has cast a dark spell over Avery and taken his soul, even though it was his picture taken…

  153. Amos Snarkadder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    MW “The pier!? It’s not safe there! Don’t go! And stay off the groin, too.”

  154. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#48): Wow. Cayla didn’t just get lightened and straightened; she got a nose job too. Damn, Skippy.

  155. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#154): Oh, and she lost her lips, too. o.O

  156. The Ridger
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#155): Yeah, it’s really pretty damned blatant. And only the hair ever merited any comment at all.

  157. CanuckDownSouth
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#156): huh? I remember some big discussion as it happened about her nose, overall facial shape, and I’m pretty sure the lips, with some ‘mudge providing side-by-side panels.

  158. Ukulele Ike
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#151): I recall Marlowe drinking whiskey sours in Farewell, My Lovely, and gin gimlets (although I certainly hope there isn’t any OTHER kind) in The Long Goodbye. Can’t remember his tipple in The Big Sleep.

  159. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 23rd, 2012 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#123): +1 internets to you, good Ace.

  160. Anonymous
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139):

    Jeez, maybe it’s better to be killed just ’cause somebody wanted to watch you die, ala Johnny Cash!

    // Then again, I was always better at Math and Science than I was at English, do there you have it….

  161. Señor Tortilla
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Blondie – Well, here we have another “diner special” joke…wait a minute, a breaded catcher’s mitt?!?

  162. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#161): “It’s a breaded catcher’s mitt! We gave it a fancy French name, and you ordered it!”

  163. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#157): I think Ridger means in strip. There’s a bit of discussion when Cayla trades out her dreads for a straightened hairdo, but no comment at all on the rest of it. It just happens, mysteriously and unremarked.

  164. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#156): Come to think of it, she’s also become younger. At this point she looks more like Keisha’s sister – her younger sister, no less – than her middle-aged mother.

  165. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#164): It means Les is waking up! Gradually, he’s coming back to reality. He never was dating a hot African American widow. Lisa never died — or married him. His new wife will get whiter and younger, and… hmmm, more masculine, too!

    Les will wake up in the closet. Bull Bushka has been shaking him. “Thought you died on me, Twinkie!” After making sure Les is okay, Bull will beat even more crap out of him. There’s no place like Home!

  166. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 23rd, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    If Bubba has reason to dismember anyone, then, it’s Sam. The only way I can see this happening is if doctors are standing by with bionic prostheses made of solid platinum.

  167. seismic-2
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#158): Apparently I was wrong about Marlowe’s preferred whiskey in The Big Sleep. Here are the final two paragraphs:

    What did it matter where you lay once you were dead? In a dirty sump or in a marble tower on top of a high hill? You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that. Oil and water were the same as wind and air to you. You just slept the big sleep, not caring about the nastiness of how you died or where you fell. Me, I was part of the nastiness now. Far more a part of it than Rusty Regan was. But the old man didn’t have to be. He could lie quiet in his canopied bed, with his bloodless hands folded on the sheet, waiting. His heart was a brief, uncertain murmur. His thoughts were as gray as ashes. And in a little while he too, like Rusty Regan, would be sleeping the big sleep.

    On the way downtown I stopped at a bar and had a couple of double Scotches. They didn’t do me any good. All they did was make me think of Silver Wig, and I never saw her again.

  168. Peanut Gallery
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#125): And yet, no one’s done the “long walk, short pier” joke yet.

    Meanwhile, Jim is doing that “Heil Hitler” thing again.

  169. Zerowolf
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    MW: I think Jim is confusing Santa Royale with Santa Carla

    Ah the good old days when vampires ate people.

  170. Peanut Gallery
    October 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#162): Panés gant de receveur! Wait, this isn’t some kind of covert political humor, is it?

  171. Nehemiah Scudder
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#167): Excellent! And what will we be reading for next Tuesday’s CC Mystery Book Club? Let’s have a good solid Perry Mason, shall we? Or a nice cozy Christie?

    // My head still hurts from last month’s Maigret!

  172. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#145): Good heavens. Thank you for sharing — I hadn’t seen that. And it’s an eggplant, not a pig or an ear of corn. I salute the originality.

  173. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

  174. This Guy
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#173): Or this might work.

  175. Poteet
    October 23rd, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#157): Yes, I appreciated those side-by-side panels. And by “appreciated,” I mean I said “whoa, Cayla, what the hell happened?”

  176. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    MW — Dawn, I wouldn’t count on having great sex with Jim, if you catch my drift.

  177. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#170): No, I was repurposing a National Lampoon cartoon, only there it was something like a deep-fried telephone book. Unless it was the New Yorker. My brain is full of little 3×5 cards with interesting information, and I didn’t write on them where they came from.

  178. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    MT — “If he causes any trouble, let me know! Don’t bother to lock up your daughters, however. The worst this guy will ever do is try to bore them to death with facts about bonefish.”

  179. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    JP — Oh please, Avery, do mention the size of your proposed investment. I’m dying to know how much you think it would take to make up for the loss of a ten-acre pot farm.

  180. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    RMMD — The next time Bad New Melissa asks for a favor, Just. Say. No.

  181. Sequitur
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#178): Such as juvenile bonefish hang out in gangs.

  182. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    CRANKSHAFT — Please disregard #115. I was wrong. This is just an amusing little storyline about amusing elderly people who are amusingly unable to handle their own financial affairs.

  183. Droopy Says
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Peter Parker, reporter and superhero: can’t remember where he was supposed to find the villain. Fortunately Las Vegas is even smaller than downtown Manhattan.

    FW: This strip has just the right amount of ennui to let us know we don’t need to care about these people.

    Jugs Parker: Bubba responds by threatening Avery with the chainsaw, the noise of which produces a cave-in. Sam arrives just in time to rescue Avery and take the chain saw from Bubba’s dead hand, allowing him to cut away the fallen tree and escape in the SUV. Ladies and gentlemen, Chekhov’s Facepalm!

    Mock Trail: If that’s the same guy in both panels, Elrod may have broken his own record for quicket reuse of clip art. For someone who’s starving Senorita Momjeans looks mighty fit, but that’s okay because for someone who’s being kidnapped Trail looks mighty happy. Is it because he still has his rod, reel and tackle box, or does he think “tortilla” is Spanish for “pancakes?”

    Famly Circus: Thel, Billy has a point. How can you wash what he doesn’t have?

  184. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    GA — Note to self — avoid GA until Halloween is over and then just keep avoiding it.

  185. Poteet
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    FW — Yay, we missed the reception. Yay, we’re not watching the wedding night. Hooray, we’re not watching Les and Cayla starting to grope each other. We must learn to be grateful for the little things. Come to think of it, that’s what Cayla may mutter to herself in an hour or so.

  186. Sequitur
    October 24th, 2012 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark Trail, cell phone?!

    (rolls on ground laughing hysterically)

  187. Ned Ryerson
    October 24th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#183): Ha ha! I believe those two totallt different gentlemen in Mark Trail are Torgo the White & Torgo the Black. (They do share one hat between them)

    Oh what a treasure trove of other “villagers”: Mom jeans, kid gallivanting around in tightie whiteys, guy carrying huge wheel of cheese on his head.

  188. Ned Ryerson
    October 24th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#183): Ha ha! I believe those two totally different gentlemen in Mark Trail are Torgo the White & Torgo the Black. (They do share one hat between them)

    Oh what a treasure trove of other “villagers”: Mom jeans, kid gallivanting around in tightie whiteys, guy carrying huge wheel of cheese on his head.

  189. Sequitur
    October 24th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    MW: (Dawn grabs his right arm)

    C’mon. Grab me again! Hey! Put that shoe back on!

  190. Elk Meadow
    October 24th, 2012 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    When I glanced at Judge Parker, I saw the middle panel, and I wondered how the Mole Man from Spiderman crossed over and got the new job.

  191. Nick
    October 24th, 2012 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    Bubba’s face in the final panel is wordlessly communicating a stone cold “ohhhhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh….” in Ton Lonc’s voice.

  192. Nick
    October 24th, 2012 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Tone Loc*

  193. Dale
    October 24th, 2012 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Is this their very first try at piracy?
    They let Mark bring his fishing tackle box and camera bag without a search.

    Does “rations” mean limited variety or they’re actually short on food. If the latter, why bring the dog unless they plan on eating it?

    The island has a washerwoman.
    Is there also an airplane, one of those universal ones that Mark knows how to fly?

  194. Mr. O'Malley
    October 24th, 2012 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#193): I would really look forward to an escape plan that involved fishing tackle and an old Spotmatic.

    If the waters are full of bonefish it seems as though they wouldn’t be short on food. Probably just imported goods like outboard motor parts and detergent to wash their jeans.

  195. Doctor Handsome
    October 24th, 2012 at 5:09 am [Reply]

    Good on Jimmy Smits, doing double duty as the most likeable character in both the current season of Sons of Anarchy and the current Judge Parker story arc.

  196. teenchy
    October 24th, 2012 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#157): ‘Twas I. Thanks for remembering that Cayla comparo: I’d originally put it in the discussion forum but enough talk of it on the main page led me to link it here.

  197. LP2004
    October 24th, 2012 at 7:23 am [Reply]

    PBS: Goat should be thankful that Rat was so uncharacteristically merciful. The appropriate punishment for what he did is death by 500,000 paper cuts.

  198. gleeb
    October 24th, 2012 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Knowing he’s in the fox’s bad books, and that he will never dare to make an actual complaint, the swine cheerfully steal from Buford Bull.

    ‘shaft: Many storytellers could take the past two day’s strips as the starting place for a story of murder and pursuit by justice. Many would make sure it was someone else who killed the old woman, making it seem like her son. But Batiuk will piss this away down his leg like everything else in this strip.

    ‘bean: Of course it’s a run-down neighborhood. They’re probably all filthy Toxic Taco eaters who never take part in the Invisble Deadwife Run.

    Pot Negotiators!: Wait. Avery has eyes?

    Rex: June ditches her husband. It’s fried clam time at last!

    Spidey: Peter Parker both loves and hates the visual scourge of advertising!

    Dick: Chicago is a tough town. When you want to sugar-coat the truth for a kid, you tell her that Mommy was blown up by gangsters.

    Gil: Terry is about to encounter the supine American press, always grateful for a story that will fall into their laps and distract readers from actual news.

    Luann: And TJ is about to learn about his state’s wiretapping laws.

    FC: Or if you have no neck, eh, Billy?

  199. Vanya
    October 24th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#196): Even more disturbing than the whitening of Cayla is the smuggening of Les. In that 8/30/2010 strip he actually has a normal expression!

    By 2011 the man is completely unbearable.

  200. Perplexed
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    MW – I think the main reason Jim won’t let Dawn go outside is to ensure her skin doesn’t get sun spots which would ruin the lamp shade he plans to make from her white, translucent flesh.

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