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Also, “we humans” is not a thing actual humans say

Mary Worth, 11/2/12

It’s disturbing to see Mary sprinkling down weird amoeba-blobs out of her hand onto whatever’s in that tray in the first panel. It’s disturbing to see Dawn struggle to hold up a bowl with two hands, as if it were filled with liquid lead. It’s disturbing to trace back the forearm visible at the right in panel two and realize that there’s no way it connects to Dawn’s elbow, which means that someone has broken into the house and has grabbed Dawn by the back of the head and is shaking her for unknown reasons. But Dawn’s new love interest being desperate to keep her away from water because she reminds him of his dead sister? The idea of him thinking, the first time they have sex, about how his beloved sister will never be out of his life again? That’s not disturbing at all! It’s human nature. We humans are an odd lot, if by odd you mean “capable of unspeakable perversions and psychic pain.”

Apartment 3-G, 11/2/12

I have fallen down on the Reading The Comics So You Don’t Have To front, because I have forgotten to mention that, sometime after their inappropriate workplace massage session was interrupted, Margo and Evan made out. There’s been no indication of what progress if any their relationship has made since then, and I’m going to guess that, based on today’s strip and a certain amount of personal experience, they’ve never really discussed anything and Evan just keeps trying to set up the same sequence of events that have led to smooching in the past. Don’t talk about it Margo, you’re just going to ruin everything!

Hi and Lois, 11/2/12

“And retro’s cool, right? Like this vest I’ve got on? Your dad is pretty cool? Please say that I’m cool.”

210 responses to “Also, “we humans” is not a thing actual humans say”

  1. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    MW: Indeed, Dawn, “Humans are an odd lot,” sounds like something right out of Mary’s origin story. You know the scene I’m talking about: “Humans are an odd lot, so my disguise must be able to soften their hearts. I must be a meddler of the day, white, banal…” as if responding to her desires, a kindly old woman suddenly crashes through the window.

    RxMD: “Do they have a boat for me? A suitcase full of cash? Then the answer’s ‘No.’”

  2. Droopy Says
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Of course actual humans don’t say “We humans.” And neither will Dawn, once she presses her awkwardly-placed reset button.

  3. Droom
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    MT: Either he’s quickly succumbed to Stockholm syndrome, or he thinks he’s found a one-way ticket out of Rustyville, but either way, everything’s coming up Mark!

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: Looks like Evan has confused the double index finger temple massage technique for the single index finger prostate massage technique. AAAAgain.

  5. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    FW: “It’s funny because flippers in rain-soaked ground will sink quickly, their thin rubbery flaps no match for the suction of the mud, and within two, maybe three steps, tops, you’ll fall forward — hard — onto your instruments. The lucky ones will be the woodwinds, a quick death after being impaled by their thin reeds. Brass players, you’ll be looking at serious facial reconstruction in your future. And bass drum guy? You’re just going to look fucking hilarious.

  6. pugfuggly
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    MW Well, some humans are odd. Like those that sit down to a meal of used tissue papers and lemon slices.

    A3G Ladies, you know you’ve got a problem when your man isn’t quite sure of the difference between ‘massage’ and ‘poke with an index finger’. I just pray that he can correctly identify a ‘temple’.

    H&L “That was a good thing you just did, dad. A really good thing. Please don’t wish me into the cornfield….”

  7. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    FW: Nice timing with Hurricane Sandy, Batiuk.

    Luann: Scwiiingggg….!

    MW: An odd lot indeed. Especially in Santa Royale!!

    RMMD: Oh, fer fuck’s sake……

    Love is…: Wearing clothes out in public for once.

  8. sporknpork
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    “Good morning, Margo. What a lovely day! You just caught me screwing on a fresh new hand, since I wore the last one down to the nub on you…. Shall I massage your temples, Margo? First, I was thinking of sliding it gently up your nose, like this.”

  9. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Frazz: /fail.

    A&J: *gigglez*

    GF: *snurk* @ first panel.

    Lio: *applaz*

    NAoQV: *hears ‘Imperial March’ whilst reading*

    PBS: FIGHT THE SPLORP!!!!!

    SBp: ummmm, Dashie is blue. . . .

    Zits: featuring a seriously old Brony.

    Bizarro: win. if it had been an African-American customer, would it have been funnier, or just subtler? *ponders*

    JUMBLE: Ed Hochuli on Line 1, something about lost guns.

    MG&G: saw that punchline coming. could also be used by a PMP character or two.

    RMMD: offs.

    6Cx: neglected husband, or openly gay-married? *ponders*

    SFx: starring the future replacement artist for Garfield.

  10. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .size queens.

  11. Binder's Butter Beans
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    which means that someone has broken into the house and has grabbed Dawn by the back of the head and is shaking her for unknown reasons

    Josh, this whole damn storyline is reason enough!

    Also: I love Evan’s mustard suit and avocado tie. He looks like my grandmother’s kitchen in 1975. And he matches the file cabinet and row of books behind him!

  12. TheSilentG
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth is really gunning for this demented, controlling, one-armed man who is sexually attracted to his own dead sister and Dawn to get together. Is this the first time Mary has rendered advice from a clearly selfish standpoint? If I were her, I’d say anything to get Dawn the hell out of my apartment, too.

  13. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW-”Oh my, Mary, why can’t we be as perfect as you who descended from the heavens to offer us her wisdom for better living.”

    A3G-Since they don’t have anything below their waists a temple massage is the closet thing the people in the Apartment 3-G world to getting handjobs.

    Sally Forth-”But, Ted, was it really necessary to kill everyone at the party.”

  14. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    “And retro’s cool, right? Like this vest I’ve got on? Your dad is pretty cool? Please say that I’m cool.”

    Like, random, Dad.

    // By which he means, stochastic.

  15. Austria
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    FW: Yo dawg I heard you like Dinkles so we put some Dinkles in your strip with Dinkle so you can advertise while you march

    H&L: Out of all the strips that go on “BACK IN MY DAY” tangents, Hi and Lois has to be one of the worst. Excuse me, I’m going to go sob quietly in the corner now.

    PBS: Psst…Rat. Tap the 57.

    S4th: CALLED IT

    Zits: I think they sell those at Wal-Mart, in the little blind bags.

  16. pugfuggly
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    ASM Is anyone else in favour of just dropping the ‘spiderman’ aspect pf this strip altogether so that it can focus on ‘JJJ is a dick to Peter’ plots? It’s just so much more entertaining this way!!

    FW These strips are drawn up month in advance (right?) so I guess this can’t be referring explicitly to Sandy. Still, if any comic strip was going to be an Oracle of Future Human Misery, I would have to give it to Funky…

    MT You can flash those things all you like, lady, but you’re probably going to get more of a reaction from those seabirds than Mark.

    Pluggers often accidentally crush household pets when they hug.

  17. terrapin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    A3G: Watch it, Evan! You’re about to lose that finger!

  18. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Luann – Oh, for fucks sake! All this incoherent nonsense was leading up to this limp resolution (that’s what she said!)? Ann didn’t admit to any specific acts, just to conning the customers, which is pretty much the job description when you manage a fast food joint called “Weenie World”. No actual fast-food establishment is going to fire a successful manager (she just won the marketing contest) because of two sentences illegaly recorded on a smartphone, with no details or context.

    The only acceptable outcome is a huge promotion for Ann, and re-assignment to corporate where she can train the other managers on her “revenue maximization” techniques.

  19. seismic-2
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    MW: “We humans” includes Cro-Magnons as well as Homo Sapiens, right? Because in that second panel, Dawn looks rather, well… Actually, Dawn should probably modify her comment to be “We simians”, just to make sure that she’s covered.

    H&L: Sorry, Hi, but Disney just won out over Walker-Browne in the fierce bidding war for Lucasfilms. Your dreams of playing Hi Solo in the upcoming sequels have now been dashed. Put away your vest.

  20. MissAgatha
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Maybe the mysterious hand bobbing Dawn’s head is Margo’s! Also I just squirted Diet Pepsi out of my nose.

  21. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    helpful dog is helpful.

    meanwhile, in Canada.

    the internet has been fuming at the Disney/Star Wars news, but this is a pretty good one.

    well played, small children, well played.

    snuggly spider.

    a coati giving a fennec a massage. my mind is officially mush.

    a brand new little something for Poteet.

    Pawlitical corgi.

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#7): great minds and Rex.

  23. Esther Blodgett
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Bizarro: It’s funny because Paul Ryan has crop circles in his hair.

    JP: Why can’t they grow pot AND farm wind? How green is that?

    H&L: Yes, look it up in the encyclopedia! And if what you want to know happened more than 20 years ago, it’s got a pretty good shot of being in there!

  24. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    MW – Sigh! Dave used to grab the back of my head while I went down on his pier!

  25. Chris B
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Are we sure we aren’t about to get a Mark Trail/Judge Parker/Rex Morgan crossover? Can someone explain to me where you get “kidnapped” to a beautiful Caribbean island with bikini babes?

  26. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    MW: looks like a Curmudgeon has reached through the fourth wall to smack Dawn upside the haid.

  27. Tom the Sailor Man
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Dawn meant to say “Those humans are an odd lot, aren’t they?”

    She realized her mistake immediately, hence the head slap.

  28. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MW-Dawn, people are often drawn but in our case we are created through clip art.

  29. Droopy Says
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Dawn is just repeating what she heard the used abductee salesman say on Zeta Reticuli. She hasn’t been the same since they probed her with a device that looks remarkably like Jim’s stump.

  30. TheRealAaron
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    MW: He paused at the window, knowing that once he slipped through there would be no turning back. It was strange to realize that, having gotten this far, the hot rush of fear was gone, replaced by a cool sense of duty.

    Just weeks ago he had been adrift, feeling lost and incomplete. Until that fateful day when he was picked up off the streets of Santa Royale by a dark car full of serious men. “We have reason to think you can be very helpful to us,” the fat bearded man in the middle seat told him. From tone of voice, “helpful” didn’t mean walking old ladies across the street.

    “Are you CIA?” Not that he knew the difference between CIA, FBI, NSA, MiB or any other 3 letter agency. Spooks are spooks, as far as he cared.

    The fat man laughed. “No. We’re a… different sort of organization. We don’t answer to anyone in the government. We’re here to do the will of the people.”

    “The people? Did the latest Rasmussen poll say you should waste my time today?”

    The fat man harrumphed. “Of course not. We get our orders from the The Curmudgeon. He knows what the people want. And I think we know what you want.”

    The bearded man leaned over and whispered softly, out of the hearing of the others. This changed everything. He didn’t give a flying salmon square about the “will of the people”, but he could be motivated by revenge. “I’m in.”

    The next weeks were a blur. Martial arts training, psy-ops, sleep deprivation, waterboarding. The Curmudgeon’s people stopped short of nothing to make him the ultimate killing machine.

    Finally the fateful day came, and an unmarked van dropped him outside the spot. “The Curmudgeon thanks for your service,” said the bearded man, whom he had come to know as The Scotsman. He didn’t respond. It was time.

    With a crash, he threw himself through the kitchen window. The old woman on the other side of the kitchen was no concern to him. He had a mission to complete. With a quick direct motion, he snapped the neck of the feeble girl with the bowl in her hands.

    As the light flickered from her eyes, he shouted out the line that had been given to him by the Scotsman: “I have a message from The Curmudgeon. This. Storyline. Must. End!”

    With her last breath, Dawn recognized that her greatest fear had come true. Jim’s Lost Arm was back. And he had nothing left to lose.

  31. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth has discovered an innovative use for those potato chips that got left out in the rain. (Is there a MacArthur Park in Santa Royale?)

  32. Marc
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    A3G- It seems to me that Evans plans on inserting his finger up Margo’s nose and massaging her temples from the inside.

    Mark Trail- A hot (for poorly drawn MT anyways) bikini clad chick is flaunting herself in front of Mark, and he couldn’t be less interested. The pelicans on the other hand have definitely taken notice.

    Mary Worth- Mary seems to have become bored with meddling for good so she’s going to try and push Dawn into the most depraved situations possible. Her next tip to Dawn will be to let Jim call her Merry during sex because it helps remind him of a loved one which will strengthen their bond.

    Luann- Out of morbid curiousity, I’m tempted to go over to go-comics and see what the excuses the Evans loving, non-ironic Luann fans are making for this shitheaded drivel.

    Funky- A) What is a Dinkle band shoe? B) If you aren’t going to wear those spiffy new Dinkles for the battle of the bands, when the hell are you going to wear them? C) Why did Becky feel the need to pin up the sleeve of her rain coat? I mean other than to remind us how special she is for only having one arm.

    Hi & Lois- Hi was also hoping that Chip would comment on how retro and cool his Han Solo outfit is.

    Family Circus- Umm is little Harry Potter here battling some kind of language barrier that’s preventing him from spitting out a coherent sentence? Or was big Jeffy half in the bag when he wrote this one?

  33. La Cieca
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: “Oh, dear, Dawn, I’ve snagged one of the crudely-embroidered dolphins on my apron with my thumb. I feel so sorry for myself I’ll have to play the world’s tiniest harp!”

  34. La Cieca
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    3G: “We have to talk, Evan. Your suit is giving me a migraine.”

  35. La Cieca
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#19): “We vertebrates.”

  36. hogenmogen
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    “Why look it up, when I can just Google it?”

    “Because with an Encyclopedia in printed form, you have to search for the correct volume and page, and if you searched on the wrong word, it might refer you to another volume and page.”

    “That’s not a good reason. That’s the opposite of a good reason.”

    “Because I was conned into buying the set for hundreds of dollars back in the late 90s, and then the goddamn internet happened, that’s why!”

  37. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 2nd, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    “we humans” is not a thing actual humans say

    *takes notes*

  38. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    As an academic, I can’t think of many subjects that can be more usefully researched in a 1991 set of World Books than on the internet. Maybe the decline in usefulness of print encyclopedias.

    As an educator, I weep at the thought of parents encouraging their teenagers to prioritize information sources in order of supposed “coolness.” (FYI, Hi, “retro” or not, encyclopedias will never be cooler than the internet.)

  39. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    H&L: I want a Pac-Man laptop.

  40. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#9): The key to avoiding the SPLORP! is to NOT shake the bottle, but to hold it at a 45-degree downward angle and to vigorously tap two fingers (index and middle) on the “57″ at the base of the bottleneck. What? You don’t use Heinz 57 ketchup? I SAY, ‘GOOD DAY,’ SIR!

    @Austria (#15): Ah, you beat me to it. A fellow ‘Burgher?

  41. TheDiva
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    A3G: Yeah, I wouldn’t want Evan touching me with those bizarre flippers of his either.

    MW: Next up: Mary gives advice to that nice boy Oedipus.

  42. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MW-That white stuff is the souls of those who did not follows Mary’s way and are now damned for all eternity. “This pie is good but it needs a bit more Aldo.”

  43. hogenmogen
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    “We human beings are an odd lot, aren’t we?”

    “Yes, you humans certainly are strange.”

  44. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @TheRealAaron (#30): Excellent!

    And Friday’s edition of If Dawn Had Friends:
    “So Dawn, are you gonna go to Alex’s party tonight?”
    “Yeah—we’re gonna pregame at Lindsay’s.”
    “No, Dawn can’t go—she has plans to, like, make pale food with the elderly.”
    “Heh. Yeah. Fuck off.”
    “You have a date with Jim or something?”
    “No, I think Jim has a date with his right hand and a picture of his dead sister.”
    “Do you think Jim’s right hand gets tired—like, because he can’t switch off?”
    “So are you going or not, Dawn?”
    “I dunno . . . . Is Dave gonna be there?”
    “Who cares? Fuck Dave.”
    “Yeah—man up, Dawn.”
    “Yeah. Life’s brutal, bitch.”

  45. Chip
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    “We humans” IS a term you use to describe your species when in the presence of another species. Because Mary’s NOT human, right? …RIGHT?

  46. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    FW: I look forward to the majority of the high school band dying of pneumonia.

  47. captainswift
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Hi & Lois: You know, encyclopedia sets that large are generally prohibitively expensive for office grunts and other lower middle class families, and are generally marketed toward libraries and universities. I expect, in their efforst to prepare Chip for community college, Hi will be unable to afford said higher education due to his continued debt to Brittanica.

  48. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    A3G-Evan, when you’ve been giving me those massages I’ve been faking it.

  49. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#44): Hey, that’s so random stochastic!

  50. hogenmogen
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    A3G: *Sigh* We have to talk, Evan. You’re my employee and sort-of-romantic-interest. But you’re a crappy PR guy. Almost as bad as me, but then again, I’m the boss. As for being my lover, you’re about as smooth as a manequin.

    So, I’m renting you out to a department store.

  51. LP2004
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#42): ‘The Screwtape Recipes’ is apparently Mary’s favorite cookbook.

  52. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: “You see, when a man loves a woman, he…and in conclusion, pain and pleasure are two bells ringing one another. Now, little half-man, are you in or are you out?”

    The nice thing about being Henry is that you don’t have to pretend to be retro, or not recycling old strips. You should, however, be able to print Chinese or know someone who can do it for you.

    Judge Parker: “Will there be jobs for these people up here? They mostly have teeth and they’re hurting!” he said darkly, as he took a long pull from his mid-morning Scotch. “Absolutely…word of honor!” replied his opponent. “If you can’t trust a Hollywood executive, who can you trust?” “There’d better be jobs,” he said, grimacing as the Johnny Walker burned his throat. “The Bureau of Labor Statistics is reporting that the increase in total non-farm payroll employment for October was only 171,000.” “But that’s a preliminary number, sure to be revised upward in coming months!” “True.” He looked down, swirled the ice in his glass. “But you’re an insane idiot who’s obsessed with a photo of a trout. Besides,” and his shadow fell across the producer of “Savanarola!” and “Moby Hardy III: Cold Steel Fly.” “Nobody’s ever tried a meth lab in the funnies before.”

    Mark Trail walks onto a bikini beach, and the bikini babe says:

    - Excuse me while I throw my hairstyle back forty years
    - Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just here for the pelicans?
    - Throw over your woman back home and produce heirs to the glorious revolution with me! My son is far preferable to that homunculus you call “Rusty,” yet equally ignorable!
    - I look forward to digging your grave!
    - You know this isn’t a gay island, right?
    - Whatever you do, don’t get grandpa here started on trout.

    Mary Worth: “It’s not disturbing, it’s human nature, just like it’s human nature to spike your pierogies with LSD…” “Far out, man…”

  53. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    As a product of the public school system, Dawn should have said “us humans”.

  54. Mustang
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    someone has broken into the house and has grabbed Dawn by the back of the head and is shaking her for unknown reasons

    And his gigantic accomplice is trying to distract Mary with a slice of lemon! Watch out Girls!!

  55. Greg
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Hi n Lois: “Son, I’m wearing this Han Solo outfit because there will be new Star Wars films starting in 2015. WHAT COULD BE COOLER THAN THAT??” *starts passionately crooning “Hip To Be Square”* ….Son quietly slinks away….

  56. TheDiva
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    9CL: Edda is asking election advice from a cat. Nuff said.

    FW: Joke 3 of 5. Collect the set!

    Luann: The only acceptable resolution for this would be for Ann to pull out the paper trail of all the questionable things TJ has done while employed here (conning customers, insubordination, blackmailing his boss), creating a stalemate. Evans protagonist-centered morality ensures this is an impossibility, however.

    MT: Next time I need to break the ice in a conversation, I’ll say “So you’re the person Otto kidnapped?”

    Pibgorn: Dammit, even decapitation can’t make Brooke’s characters shut up! Do we have to burn the body and scatter the ashes to the four winds?

    Pluggers have reasons for being emotionally distant.

    SM: Wah wah waaaaaah….

  57. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MW-”It’s human nature. Just like it’s human nature not eat your young even though some young should be eaten to save them from the crushing disappointment that will be their adult life.”

  58. Mibbitmaker
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Dawn: “We humans are an odd lot, what with the supposedly wise old lady advising quasi-incest with a man showing sure signs of controlling abuse, and disembodied arms shaking my head like… this… And that’s human nature?!”

    Mary: “Dawn… ‘If the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.’ — Richard Nixon. Plus, according to Bill Clinton, sex isn’t sex if it isn’t intercourse. Dawn, it’s not incest if you aren’t his actual sister. Go for it, Weston!”

    Dawn: “We humans are an odd lot, but you, Mary? You really take the cake, you perv!”

  59. Illustrator Steve
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MT – Is that Mike from American Pickers standing there today filling in for Mark Trail or does Mark always become taller, leaner and younger looking every time a sexy bikini clad babe says “HI” to him? I know I usually do!

  60. Roto13
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Someday, the last person who thinks “googling it” and “looking it up” are different things will finally die, and take what’s left of the newspaper industry at that point with him.

  61. billytheclam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    mw: those aren’t weird amoeba blobs. they are the souls of people who lives mary meddled with… i mean tried to help.

  62. Mibbitmaker
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Uh, you’re pointing at my speech balloon, Evan. I know my words are not unlike a temple (in the non-bodily meaning of the word), but really, Evan!” Meanwhile, Margo’s idea of a beautiful day is a headache. She’s trying out for Funky Winkerbean, apparently. “I can be FAR more depressing than those yahoos!”

    H&L: Two robots whose words flow from databases inside their heads out their unmoving mouth-like holes are discussing technology vs. books.

  63. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    RMMD-”Instead of sending an elderly woman to the Soylent Green factory out of towner Rex Morgan instead saved her life.”

  64. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Because Google will show things that you shouldn’t use in your Sex Ed report.

  65. seismic-2
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    MT: “Hi, Mark! You’re the guy we’re going to kill if your pal doesn’t pay us $2M by next week, right? Pleased to meet you! Wanna go for a swim?” Damn, we humans may be an odd lot, but we’ve got absolutely nothing on those inhabitants of the Trailverse!

  66. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Hägar – Another appearance of my favorite cliché gag form: “I’VE heard of X, but THIS is riDICulous!”

    Hi – You can’t beat an encyclopedia for information that’s up to the minute two or three decades ago.

  67. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    MW: Hey, where’s the missing panel of Mary hitting Dawn on the back of the head with a rolling pin?

    A3G: First thing in the morning and Margo is already using an imaginary headache to put off sex with her underling. Just another day in the life of an alleged publicist.

    MT: If I ever get kidnapped, I hope I get the chance to stroll on the beach casually chatting about it with a gal in a bikini. Just sayin’.

    WofI: The Wiz’s blasé attitude is justified by the witch not even knowing how many hands snakes have. (Hint: the number looks like the letter “o.”)

    C-Shaft: Glass houses, Ed.

    9CL: Edda is apparently voting at home on her couch. Does New York give out absentee ballots to unemployed ballerinas? Is it a “but I’m pretteeeeeee” thing?”

    JP: Okay, I missed the part where Avery proposed to Bubba. I’d thought Bea was more his cup of tea, but I’ve been wrong before.

    Garfield: No Jon, Liz is not the Nietzschean abyss. The abyss is every other aspect of your life.

    BB: In the end Sarge will defer to tradition and go with the 35-second fart.

    DT: At the very least Measles stands a good chance of getting killed by bullet and hatchet simultaneously, which will lend him some kind of distinction.

    Shoe: That’s the slogan for Stephen’s Di-Stills, isn’t it?

    Luann: Nice job TJ. You’ve just recorded Ann confessing to… what, exactly? Isn’t “conning smart” pretty much a synonym for “marketing”?

    SFx: A rowdy rodent next to a blissed-out cat. Do I even want to know?

  68. Illustrator Steve
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    MT – With a steady flow of wet, steamy prespiration pouring from her sexy hair, head, face, arms and umm, er, *ahem*… In panel #3 Sexy Senora Mombikini demonstrates for Pop and Mark just how bad the humidity is today in the little village. Way too Much for Mark’s newsprint mind to handle, he quickly rushes back to Pop’s hut to check his area.

  69. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Judge – One second after the camera’s in his hands, the door will be flapping and Avery will have been replaced by a slowly vanishing dust cloud that spells out “SUCKERS!”

    Mary“We humans are an odd lot…”
    “No, Dawn. Humans are a cowardly and superstitious lot. That’s why I take on the appearance of a giant old bat!

    R=R – The Gumbos’ scarecrow is sending his resume everywhere he can think of. Even to Curtis and Brewster Rockit.

  70. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#y240): The recent usage that had me shaking my head was “sketchy.” I watched a YouTube video of some phone footage at a closed mental institution, and the unseen couple narrating it referred to every single thing there as ‘sketchy.’ Oh, man, there’s a trash can! That’s SO SKETCHY.

    @Jet Jaguar (#y235): She says that it’s just a bunch of random nonsense characters, it doesn’t translate to anything.
    That explains why Archie looked so nonplussed. Man, this newspaper is just a bunch of random nonsense! There’s not even a headline dispensing a major plot point!

    @Sgt. Stoned (#y251): Elrod has definitely got a thing for sexy babes with the last name of Chavez. This is the third one in the space of a year.
    It’s the same one again. Mark has all these bogus “adventures” so he can get it on with Ms. Chavez. OMG, Mark’s actually into women!!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y316): It’s stochastic.
    Okay, that’s enough stochasm.

  71. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#18): No actual fast-food establishment is going to fire a successful manager (she just won the marketing contest) because of two sentences illegaly recorded on a smartphone, with no details or context.
    Most likely, TJ is going to go home and use free software to edit Ann’s words into a startup beep for his computer: “I’m, Ann Eiffel, you, real, ly, no, how to, turn, me, on.”

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#52): “Now, little half-man, are you in or are you out?”
    You’d be surprised how often Evan gets asked that.

  72. NoahSnark
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    You know what be cool son? Try googling “sunk cost fallacy”. Then you will understand why Daddy is going to give you a choice between using the encyclopedias he spent hundreds of dollars on or eating them without the benefit of ketchup.

  73. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#69): “No, Dawn. Humans are a cowardly and superstitious lot. That’s why I take on the appearance of a giant old bat!”

    you win +1 internets, and hopefully CotW consideration for that one.

    *applaz*

  74. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    JP-”Whoa, Bubba! I only want to go into business with you I don’t want to marry you.”

  75. Voshkod
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Looks like it’s time for Dawn to check in to the Comics Dialogue Rehabilitation Center, famous for catering to former characters from Mark Trail. The CDRC – we’ll make you talk like a real person again.

  76. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#56):

    SM: Wah wah waaaaaah….

    I know, right? This poor guy thinks that Peter Parker has the initiative and resourcefulness to mop floors.

  77. pugfuggly
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#67):

    [...] Just another day in the life of an alleged publicist.

    It’s friday: she’s an editor now. Or maybe a lawyer. Or a hostage negotiator. Yeah, hostage negotiator for sure….

  78. Hibbleton
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark makes a mental note of Ava’s clean-shaven armpits. “This carbon-based unit does not need bimanous, pugnus based reprogramming”

  79. Chad Sexington
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: Do you know what else is retro? Interpreting the phrase “look it up” to mean “look it up in a 26 volume bound encyclopedia” rather than “look it up on Google” as, say, any non-Amish individual under the age of 65 surely would.

  80. Illustrator Steve
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MT – (Mark eventually returns home to Lost Forest): “Honey, I’m home! I was kidnapped while fishing with Bill and was taken to a tropical paradise and forced to take leisurely strolls along a tropical beach every day with a sexy bikini clad hot babe who was a real knockout! And, get THIS, Cherry! I had to take some of my precious time every day to take her son fishing, which I enjoyed immensely! Oh yeah, It was also my assigned duty to sleep with the sexy babe every night in order to help in increasing the population of their little village. It was shocking, Cerry! Simply SHOCKING, I tell you!!”
    (Cherry): “Oh, Mark! You POOR thing! That must have been a HORRIBLE experience for you. Here, have some fresh pancakes before you leave, FOREVER!”

  81. Chaze
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

  82. jvwalt
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    MW: Mmmm, it’s Mary’s famous cumshot casserole.

  83. Mibbitmaker
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    9CL: Thorax has invaded Solange’s brain! How COULD you, Brooke?!!

    DT:
    Dick: “Yep! Measles is dead, by my gun!”
    Gertie: “Yep……. Tracy… kin ah use this hea’ axe on him anyway, butcher style?”
    Dick: “Certainly NOT!”
    (long pause)
    Dick: “…yeah, okay, go ahead. (pause) Mind if I watch….?”

  84. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @captainswift (#47): It could be an old set bought at a yard sale or library sale for $5. Which wouldn’t exactly be an argument against Chip looking the info up on Wikipedia.

  85. TheDiva
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#67): Edda applied for an absentee ballot just in case she had another pregnancy scare and was required to fly off to Vienna at a moment’s notice.

  86. Paul1963
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth is cooking human souls into delicious, delicious dumplings.

    Sally Forth: Okay, I get that Ted doesn’t understand or care why everyone is staring at him and Sally at this party. But I really thought Sally herself was smart enough to figure out that everyone is staring at them because they’re dressed as He-Man and She-Ra, while everyone else at the party is dressed like a real person from history. They were invited, they just didn’t follow the theme.

  87. Poteet
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#21): Thank you also for the snuggly spider!

  88. Chaze
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    JP – Whenever I hear “make an honest man/woman of me,” I think of marriage. This might explain Bubba’s exotic facial hair, chartreuse head band and interior decorating skills. Avery may not realize that he’s in a state where gay marriage is legal or that Old Hardy may be the last fish upon which he’ll have a crush.

    MT – Ava dries her hair and is transformed into Connie Francis. I guess if Cherry can be Patsy Cline, Ava can be Connie Francis, especially if that is the clip art available.

    Henry – I’ve read comics for…say…55 years without seeing a joke about a Chinese newspaper. Now I’ve read two in two days. Eh? Not worth the wait.

    Shoe – Personally, I’ve loved a few winos I’ve been with.

  89. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    H&L: Hi shot first!

    NAoQV: If, as Eddie Izzard says, the Empire in Star Wars was supposed to represent the British Empire, then this is the chickens coming home to roost, right?

  90. This Guy
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Frazz: As dumb comics go, she was dumber than most.

    H&J: Mr. Bentley, you must be new here. Welcome to the Internet.

    Pluggers: The hedgehog’s dilemma, now available in elderly dog-person form.

    Shortpacked: What’s great about this is not far up my Darkgate page are “NerfNOW” and “Little Gamers” proving this exact point.

  91. seismic-2
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Since no one ever actually uses the Flagstons’ encyclopedia set, Chip just ripped the covers off volumes “C” through “H” and uses them to disguise his porn collection.

  92. Chaze
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    MW – Something about these past few days of food prep reminds me of The Twilight Zone episode, “To Serve Man,” as well as “Arsenic and Old Lace.” God only knows what or whom is in that mixing bowl, but the mystery of The White Pie may soon become evident.

  93. Poteet
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    A3G — We readers were never told that Evan is supposed to be a looker. So as his face morphs from one weirdness to another, I feel no resentment. Greg is a different story. He was supposed to be gorgeous and utterly failed, so I say ship him off to Tibet and hurl him down a mountain so I won’t be reminded any more.

  94. Poteet
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    9CL — I will say just once more that making Solange verbal is a truly rotten idea. Some of us like (or liked) Solange largely because, unlikely Brooke’s other tragically-verbose characters, she DIDN’T talk.

  95. Radar
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    I rather assumed the arm in panel two of Mary Worth was the stagehand pressing the reset button on Dawn’s positronic brain. Her face had clearly frozen up while her voice box pumped out the next pre-programmed line…

  96. Inkwell
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Could it be? Has Jim’s disembodied arm returned to drag Dawn to the underworld with it? Are the next six weeks going to be about Dawn in Hell, alone save for the rotten severed limbs of a million outcasts? ‘Cause… that would be sorta cool.

  97. Doctor Handsome
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait to see Hipster Hi grow a Rollie Fingers moustache and start riding around on one of those old-timey bicycles with the enormous front wheel.

  98. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#75): I presume the CDRC isn’t operated by ‘Mudgeons, who tend to speak either like Charles Lewis Dodgson on crack or Holden Caulfield with Social Disinhibition Disorder.

  99. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#98): whargarble, that’s Lutwidge. Pfui.

  100. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Paul1963 (#86): I’m sure someone else has already pointed this out, but Ted Forth probably thinks that He-Man and She-Ra are actual historical figures.

  101. Inkwell
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois confuses me. Aside from the fact that Googling IS looking something up, Hi is selling the virtues of encyclopedias because… why? It’s slower and brings up fewer sources. Is he (and the author) running on the logic that old-fashioned = more practical?

    Maybe all he knows about the internet is rule 34, and he’s desperately trying to make sure Chip doesn’t look up “lemming + suicide”. He can’t tell him why, or else it will sound appealing.

  102. Doctor Handsome
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    “Evan, that’s not my temple!” “Don’t worry-that’s not my finger!”

  103. Illustrator Steve
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    MT – Elrod has called Mark into his office again to remind him once more WHY he continues to sign Elizabeth Ava Eva Chevez over and over again as Mark’s co-star, her being his first cousin and all and how he is obsessed with drawing her in scat outfits. Unfortunately, Mark’s mind wanders since all he has the capability of thinking about is PANCAKES rather than SWEETCAKES.

  104. Dood
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: No, Evan, you massage Margo’s temple, which is located somewhere in the Himalayas.

  105. Chyron HR
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    JP – “What about us brain-dead slobs?” “You’ll be given cushy jobs!”

  106. tb4000
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MW: This is about the same time when we see Donald Sutherland suddenly pointing and screeching at us.

  107. bats :[
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#13): re MW: well, maybe if the old biddy let her freak fly, we’d get somewhere…

  108. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Yes…’we’ humans are an odd lot. But delicious when mixed in with pierogi and old newspaper. What were you saying dear?” Oh my god THE BLOOD.

    Luann – This will really hurt Ann, what with the high ethical standards of your average fast food franchise.

    JP – This is almost a perfect ending. I’m not quite sure how Sam ends up getting an extra million for no particular reason, but I’m sure we’ll know in the next couple weeks.

  109. Johann Sebastian Cock
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    “WE HUMANS ARE CERTAINLY AN ODD LOT YES?”

    “YES OUR HUMAN MOTIVATIONS ARE INCONSISTENT AND ILLOGICAL AT MOST TIMES!”

    “YES IT WOULD BE A TRAGEDY IF A SUPERIOR RACE OF ALIEN BEINGS INFILTRATED OUR SOCIETY AND ENFORCED THE COLD, REASONABLE WAY OF LIFE THAT WE CLEARLY DESPERATELY NEED UPON US!”

    “BLEEP BLOOP WE ARE FROM FRANCE.”

  110. John B
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oedipus, meet Dawn. Dawn, meet Oedipus.

  111. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#107): That’s great! But seeing that panel reversed makes me realize: THE ARMS! OH GOD THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

  112. The Genghis
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Umm… what is this madness?!?
    A Family Circus movie… the Mayans were right…
    http://www.geekosystem.com/family-circus-movie/

  113. Marzipan
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    “We humans are an odd lot…aren’t we?” Dawn questions, her voice getting gravelly, and quieter, like a computer slowly powering down. Her head hurts all of a sudden. It’s hard to think. “Aren’t we?” is the thought that her brain repeats, jerkily and mechanically, as she stops moving, her body frozen in place.

    Mary doesn’t notice. Of course she doesn’t, this is why Dawn was placed here, in this place. That, and the needy desperation of one Wilbur Weston, so desperate for love, going about his life so mindlessly, that he wouldn’t question the sudden appearance of a daughter in his life, or, indeed, the subsequent loss, if managed correctly.

    They had expected her to last longer, of course…she was supposed to be only a “teenager”, though her appearance more resembled an a woman of advanced aged who claimed “thirty-something”, the designers of Dawn were perhaps not as good as the programmers, although now, it seems, perhaps they deserved each other. The theory was that the salt air and exposure to water from the cruise was not good for her, nor the stress of constant white-bread mayo sandwiches, but who knows, really? Maybe the next model would be hardier.

  114. Doctor Handsome
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Mary Worth seems like a PSA written by a serial killer.

  115. Brian
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    “Googling” something is “looking it up, using the Internet.” Googling something is probably faster and more accurate than using an outdated set of bound encyclopedias. Hi is actually telling his son NOT to make use of modern technology and not to use the most recent knowledge we have.

    Why is Hi so concerned about what Chip will find on the Internet? One must wonder. What with Crankshaft being upset the other day about people using the Internet, I think there is the beginning of a recurring theme here. COMICS AGAINST INTERNETS.

    There is also the possibility that Hi simply forgot to delete his browser history before Chip came in. Nobody wants their son to find out they were looking up Sexy70sWomen.com.

  116. Ty Ranfurly
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Evan is going to massage her temples … from inside the skull … through the nose

  117. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Brian (#115): And surely Hi is aware of the study in Nature a few years ago that suggested that the accuracy in Wikipedia is pretty much as good as the accuracy in Encyclopedia Brittanica.

    Then again, maybe not. I think I most recently read about that study in a chapter from an open-access composition textbook published on, you know, the internet.

  118. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#6) on Mary Worth: I’ve had that meal on an Alitalia flight. Very fibrous.

    @pugfuggly (#16) on Mark Trail: It’s only funny because it’s true.

    @TheRealAaron (#30): Long Format COTW!

    @Cannibal Crustacean (#40): What are you talking about? Ketchup comes in tubes like toothpaste and mayonnaise and mustard. Not at the same time of course.

  119. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Marzipan (#113): It’s too bad she won’t live. But then again, who does?

    @Marzipan (#113): Daisy, Daaaaaaaii-seeeeeeeee…

  120. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#118):

    What are you talking about? Ketchup comes in tubes like toothpaste and mayonnaise and mustard. Not at the same time of course.

    Surely there has to be some country, perhaps in Asia, where it does!

  121. Randy
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MT–Give it up, Ava. No matter how much skin you flash, the only action you’re going to get from the rich Yankee hostage is a sock in the jaw.

  122. Snarkotix Addict
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS – Ha ha, that’s funny because “Sorry, Sugarbun” is Elviney and Lukey’s safe word.

    FW – So, are they barefoot now?

    Luann – stupid, stupid, stupid

    MT – Island life must be really laid back and casual.
    “Hi. So you’re the guy Otto kidnapped. Nice to meet you. I’m the woman Otto sexually abused as a teenager. And that’s my son, who Otto fathered. Want to go for a swim?”
    Be happy. Don’t worry!

    GT – Okay, someone help me out here. How do we tell the dark haired teenagers apart?

  123. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Brian (#115): If “Googling” is “looking up on the internet” than what is “Kleenexing”?

    Also, though it’s true that nobody wants their son to find out they were looking up Sexy70sWomen.com, how much worse if it was “Roper Mike’s Men in Trouble” site.

  124. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#88) on Henry: Those are Chinese characters? I thought some woman’s Kotex had an embarrassing blowout on the bus.

  125. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    That’s a real site, and SFW, too. Amazing lot of homoeroticism on 50′s and 60′s TV. I met an actor who played a very popular secondary character on a 1970s TV show and I told him he is on this site. The look on his face when I told him the site name was priceless. Heh heh. So glad I am not a celebrity.

  126. bats :[
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Hey, gang! Sick of political ads on TV? Yeah, me, too. I can’t do much more than hit the “mute” button, but others have ways…mysterious feline ways…

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    Hooray! The FTC has shut down five companies behind the “Rachel from Cardholder Services” robocall scam.

    // Nothing to do with comics, but the best news I’ve heard in days. I’ve got those damn robocalls at least twice a day for the last couple of years.

  128. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    You’re pluggers if you break vertebrae while hugging.

  129. Hibbleton
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    R=R: On a dark, November day, Rose Gumbo attached the day’s wash, a solitary towel, to a scarecrow to dry. She then threw her five-year old son down a well while visions of fruit-loops swirled in her head. When asked why, she muttered: “We humans are an odd lot.”

  130. seismic-2
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Dawn: “We humans are an odd lot, aren’t we?”
    Mary: “Why, dear? Do you think maybe this can of Soylent Green has gone bad?”

  131. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#9):

    6Cx: neglected husband, or openly gay-married? *ponders*

    I”m pretty sure the former was the intent, but the latter is an intriguing suggestion.

  132. Roktober
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    How old do you think those encyclopedia’s are? I am sure Chip’s class will appreciate how retro his research method was when he tells them that the Soviet Union continues to maintain its iron grip on Eastern Europe and that everyday he prays doctors will find the source of the mysterious GRIDS epidemic.

  133. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Roktober (#132): They may date back to the days when apostrophe’s were only used for contraction’s and possesive’s!

  134. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#129): I would have said “Justifiable homicide” but I’m sane that way.

  135. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Or when possesives had another s!

  136. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#7): Love is…: Wearing clothes out in public for once.

    Hmm. The last time we saw these two wearing clothes was at the beach. Presumably a NUDE beach. Perverts.

  137. Hibbleton
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#134): You must be thinking of “Marvin.”

  138. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait until Kraven gives Peter Parker a super spandex wedgie. Double points if it’s a flying spinning super spandex wedgie.

  139. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#138): Who do you think Kraven is, Clown-9?

  140. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Roktober (#132): How old do you think those encyclopedia’s are? I am sure Chip’s class will appreciate how retro his research method was when he tells them that the Soviet Union continues to maintain its iron grip on Eastern Europe…

    I just checked my paper copy of the 1911 Britannica. Not to worry. There is no such country as the Soviet Union.

    // But I’m a bit worried about the situation in the Balkans between the Austro-Hungarian Empire and Servia. But Archduke Franz Ferdinand seems like a sensible fellow. When he succeeds as Emperor I’m sure everything will work out fine.

  141. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    an interesting little story for bb,u and the other ‘mudges who enjoy a drop o’ the pure every now and again.

  142. bunivasal
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    You know what else is retro? The information in your 1987 encyclopedia collection, Hi.

    But seriously, this comic makes my skin crawl. There is a vast gulf between “looking something up” and “Googling it”. “Just” googling it is bad, but telling your son to use encyclopedias is barely better. When did you buy those, Hi, 1987? No, I’m sure they’re chock-full of completely relevant information about the USSR.

  143. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

  144. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#143): to expand on that a bit, I used to get those calls constantly. I was instantly suspicious since they never identified *which* cardholder services they were from, and I had several different cards. So, instant hangup, but it’s nice to know that the Feds finally nailed ‘em.

  145. Illustrator Steve
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Pop): “It’s difficult to enjoy looking at a beautiful bikini clad female body with all these dang Pterodactyls flying around us, eh, mark?”
    “….huh? Female what? …Sorry for not listening to you, Pop, but I was trying to enjoy looking at all these neat Pterodactyls flying around us, even though they are only about a third the size of the Ptrerodactyls we have back home in Lost Forest.”

  146. bats :[
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): you gotta grab the good news where you can!

  147. bitterlawstudent
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    “I have a headache coming on. A headache caused by your tangerine suit and avocado tie. Also this double-breasted plum number I’m wearing isn’t helping. And don’t you dare touch my face with that giant hand of yours. Is it.. is it getting bigger?”

  148. bats :[
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#140): I could find out the reason for you if you’d like, but the 1911 is actually a valuable commodity (unlike most “modern” encyclopedia volumes). I’m guessing that it was the great, unedited repository of facts before WWI.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#139): Damn. You’re right.

  150. seismic-2
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#141): So the Jack Daniels brand will start selling White Lightening? “Jack Daniels’ master distiller Jeff Arnett described the whiskey’s taste to The Spirits Business as spiced, natural and complex.” Yeah, the traditional blend of kerosene, turpentine, and antifreeze tends to be like that, especially when it’s been distilled in the rusty radiator from a 1953 Buick. White whiskey is such a refined and debonair drink! Just ask Snuffy Smith.

  151. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @jvwalt (#82):

    I’m glad to see somebody say what we all have been thinking about the white stuff.

  152. commodorejohn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    “We humans are an odd lot…aren’t we?”
    “Yes! Humans. That is what we are, Dawn-unit – uh, Dawn.”
    “Yes, we are humans, and definitely not shapeshifting alien pod-things worming our way into human society!”
    “Yes, we are humans. And we are an odd lot, affirmative! It is am-using! Ha! Ha!”
    “Ha! Ha!”

  153. AndyL
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Ah, encyclopedias. Difficult to use, awkwardly large, and notoriously inaccurate.

    Yes, I can see this becoming the next hipster craze. I’m going to go open an used encyclopedia shop in either Brooklyn or Seattle.

    Nobody steal this idea.

  154. Calico
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    “Shall I finger you, Margo? You look uptight.”

  155. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#140): Archduke Franz Ferdinand seems like a sensible fellow. When he succeeds as Emperor I’m sure everything will work out fine.

    Unfortunately, he never had the opportunity to succeed or fail as Emperor, as his succession never took place!

  156. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127):

    I might have gotten those messages on my answering machine but I delete them.

  157. The Doctor
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Please shoot me. I actually found today’s Crankshaft funny. There is a disturbance in the Funkyverse…

    Hopefully redeeming is that the guy in B.C. is suffering from multiple lacerations from campaign buttons stabbed through his skin. Ha! Ha! Ha!

    And Dagwood has disfigured one of America’s greatest monuments.

  158. Liam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Loise-”Plus I don’t want you to see the art film me and your mother made and then uploaded onto the Internet and will act all shocked about when word gets out about it.”

  159. Calico
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Henry – haha, Henry/Archie universes collide!

    CS – Ha, ha!

    Lockhaters – why do they keep getting invites to parties, while poor Ted and Sally never get included?

    Beetle – *fart*

    FW – Oh please.

    DtM – a young Gene Shalit or Roger Ebert in the making.

    MT – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twOUAUKurFw

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#148): Simple. It’s a beautiful book — or rather 29 books — a work of art, lovely to hold and look at. And, after all, it was the main core of Wikipedia. Whenever I research a subject I take a look at my 1911 Britannica, my 1949 Colliers, and my 1975 Britannica, before moving on to the Internet. Gives you perspective.

  161. Calico
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @The Doctor (#157):
    I never thought Dag had delusions of grandeur.
    Why doesn’t he quit his horrible job and join his wife’s business?
    Oh, right, he might eat the entire inventory on a QID basis and bankrupt Blondie and Tootsie.

  162. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#155): Now that’s just crazy talk!

  163. Shrug, Snarler at Spam
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127):

    “Hooray! The FTC has shut down five companies behind the “Rachel from Cardholder Services” robocall scam.”

    Meanwhile, “Rachel” has presumably moved on to the “No joke! You have been chosen! Because you are online right now on this website! Congratulations…” spam.

  164. Shrug, Speaker to Squee
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    MW: I think Dawn was actually trying to say “We humans are an ocelot, aren’t we?”

    // Though I’d say she looks more like a bandicoot.

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#150): I keep having to bring this up, but Snuffy Smith gave up moonshining, very publicly, a couple of decades ago. He hasn’t even had a swig from a jug, as far as the strip is concerned, in as long.

    // John Rose, when he took over from Fred Lasswell, evidently decided to clean up Snuffy. Stealing chickens was fine, but we couldn’t have Smith making or drinking whiskey. For the kids, you know.

  166. ThursdayNext
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    I hope the zombie in today’s is you, Josh!

  167. Shrug, Voicer to Vices
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165):

    And Mark Trail gave up pipe smoking long ago, and both Zonker and Duke in DOONESBURY have claimed they no longer use drugs, and supposedly Thirsty in HI AND LOIS is no longer a drunkard. What happened to all our alt-role alt-models?

    “Help us, Obi-Andycapp. You are our only hope.”

  168. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Snarler at Spam (#163): I thought she was doing the “one weird old trick” series.

  169. ThursdayNext
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Sorry it was supposed to say today’s Medium Large. Oops

  170. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Voicer to Vices (#167): I thought I saw a Sunday Doonesbury, not so long ago, where Zonker goes on a 3AM donut binge after getting high. No? Maybe it was a repeat.

  171. Dood
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: “Encyclopedias are so retro now! Just like my lounge act!”

  172. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Voicer to Vices (#167): …and supposedly Thirsty in HI AND LOIS is no longer a drunkard…

    What?! What about the Big Box o’ Beer in his garage? And the pitcher of beer/cheeseburger lunch special?

    // Hell, he was smoking a couple of days ago!

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Speaker to Squee (#164): did somebody say ocelot?!?

    or was it human/ocelot??? (furry, mostly sfw)

  174. Poteet
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#152): BWAHAHA!

    And I’ll bet they are exiles. “Go find another Class-6 planet to inhabit, Zupatorp and Throxit! You are much too annoyingly weird for this one!”

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#153): Ah, encyclopedias. Difficult to use, awkwardly large, and notoriously inaccurate.

    Now THAT is crazy talk. Next thing you’ll be disparaging slide rules.

  176. Shrug, Burbler About Binges
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#172):

    I thought there was some comment here about the recent Thirsty strip being an anomaly, as he’d been depicted for a while as reformed. I’ll admit to paying so little attention to HI AND LOIS in general and Thirsty in particular that I had not until then noticed one way or another, and maybe it’s all a false memory caused by too much beer in my brain bits.

    // Actually, it would more likely be “too much cheap wine in my brain bits,” but that didn’t alliterate.

  177. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165):

    I refuse to believe this.
    The next thing you are going to tell me is that Snuffy has a PhD from Harvard.

    Beetle Bailey like napping. Snuffy Smif is sleeping it off. The universe changes, yes. But, not that much.

    Mistopher Snuffy is a saturated and a bona fide intoxified, bodacious entrepreneur of a White Lightnin’ Emporium!

    If he publicly swore of the Drink and making the Drink…his existential declaration is a down-right lie!

    For the artist to remove this aspect of Snuffy’s character is like remaking the character. You may as put a collar on him and have a leash that goes from his neck to heaven, where the hand of God leads him along on daily walks where he spreads The Word like he’s butterin’ bread!

    I gotta lay down. This is horrible news. Just horrible!

  178. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Burbler About Binges (#176): I like your titles, or epithets, or whatever you call them. But where will it end?

    So, Shrug walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hail:

    1. Shrug, Mumbler to Midgets
    2. Shrug, Orator to Oranges
    3. Shrug, Asseverater to Asses
    4. Shrug, Bellower to Blintzes
    5. Shrug, Nucupater to Nuances
    6. Shrug, Pontificater to Poltroons

    Say, I’ve got a great idea for a cartoon. Wanna hear it?

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): Oh, minced oath! Nuncupater!

  180. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    //Ha!

    Today is not only Wikipedia-free Friday for me…. *

    It is also RANDOM Day!

    So every post I make is gonna be RANDOM!**

    Versus my Tuesday posts which are RaNSoM posts!

    haha!

    *
    ( was it a coincidence that Hi & Lois had that joke today? I hope so. God I hope it is just a coincidence)

    ** with a few caveats for communication reasons, like replies of serious nature….Hoo Man Nature!

  181. Cannibal Crustacean
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#180): Miamba jamba dogface with a banana patch?

  182. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Voicer to Vices (#167): Sadly, Helen Clark doesn’t show up enough in Santa Royale to provide balance. Still, there are a few exceptions to all the clean living.

    * Thirsty still lounges in his lawn chair with a can in his hand. Pepsi? If you say so.
    * Rat from PBS, also a keen drunkard.
    * As I’ve mentioned before, Dick Tracy’s partner Sam Catchem has been smoking like a factory town since Curtis and Staton took over.
    * Hey, you knew General Halftrack had to be good for something.

    Who am I missing?

  183. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#172):

    His Living Room has a Micro Brewery in a Box.

    That’s where he brews Thirsty’s High Gravity Lazyman’s Lager

    (P.s., in Mary Worth Dawn is just checking to see if she has her head on straight. She doesn’t. That’s why she’s hanging with Mary and not someone her own age.)
    (P.p.s., In the Missing Panel Three, Wilbur Sammichson is dress in jeans made of lettuce (dark green jeans). And, singing:

    Humans are strange
    When you are stranger!
    When you are stranger,
    Humans get strange!

  184. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Cannibal Crustacean (#181):

    Aaaaaaannnnd how!

  185. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#177): Oh, but sadly it’s true. I was JUST pre-internet, so you probably won’t find much online, unless you have a Lexus-nexus account. But it was very public, there were press releases, newspaper articles, I think it even made Entertainment Tonight. He smashed his still in the presence of Sheriff Tate and Parson Tuttle, and has never back-slid.

  186. Midtown
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): My calls were usually from “Heather from card services.” I suppose she was in on it too.

    The last couple of days I’ve gotten calls supposedly from Microsoft telling me that my computer is sending out error messages when I’m online. Or at least I think that’s what the Indian guy is saying. When I ask for his number to “call him back”, the connection seems to get lost. Anyone else getting those calls? Google says it’s a scam from 2011 and earlier.

  187. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Apartmental Three-us Gee-us

    Gee-us Three-us! What the Holy-What-The Heck is going on with Evan refusing to show what is in his left hand?

    The look of disgust or disdain or contempt in Margo’s eyes says more than her words are saying.

    They seem to be saying:

    “Listen up, you giblet munchin’, starlet humpin’, psychopath bumpin’, humpty dumpty lumpin’, golden clothes chumpin’, dibbity dibbity sumptin’, Margo Tummy thumpin, paltroon!

    “Don’t you dare think you can start your morning by massagin’ All of This!
    You are a clownified, bona fide, kooky-tied, not-so-wide, moon pied, songified, Dick Van Dyke-lookin’, shape shiftin’ shookin’ kook, personified!”

    And, the eyes have it!

    //RANDOM means no Previewing, so there’s gonna be spelling mistakes galore, seriously.

  188. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 2nd, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Voicer to Vices (#167):

    Mark Slackmeyer from Doonesbury also has been recently portrayed as still toking up.

  189. tallyHO
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#185):

    Seriously: I’m sure it is on Wikipedia in some fashion and in some length.

    I was unaware they made a big deal of it though. I just thought it was one of those missing pieces that happens with the Changing Times.

    Also, the other day someone defended hillbillies to me. He’s too young to have ever heard National Lampoon’s Story of the Hillbillies Who Immigrated to America (not the name of the routine but…it is WF Friday and that includes no iMDb use either. Today, I settle for just knowing what I know and limiting the crutch of internet researching what I’ve forgotten or don’t know much about. )

  190. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#153): ” Difficult to use, awkwardly large, and notoriously inaccurate.” – like Evan’s hands.

  191. lynn
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Snarler at Spam (#163): When will somebody do something about these awful people calling me all the time about some kind of voting thing?

  192. Shrug, Pontificator About Plebiscites
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#191):

    “When will somebody do something about these awful people calling me all the time about some kind of voting thing?”

    You should feel honored. They call you because they feel you are one of the Elect.

  193. Shrug, Plagarizer of Pontification
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): @Shrug, Pontificator About Plebiscites (#192):

    “Shrug, Pontificater to Poltroons”
    “Shrug, Pontificator About Plebiscites”

    So. It has come to this.

  194. demoncat
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    mw indeed dawn humans are an odd lot take you for instance your fine with continuing to see a guy who now is possevive of you since you look like his dead sister plus you hang out with an old meddling lady who rules her town with an iron fist and is putting some sort of drug in what ever she is baking to keep the people in line.

  195. Alison
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: I can buy that Jim would be drawn to Dawn because she reminds him of his sister. That wouldn’t be a real problem IF SHE HADN’T DIED AND HE DIDN’T BLAME HIMSELF FOR HER DEATH. That puts an entirely different spin on things and if these people are too stupid to realize that, then I can only shake my head just the way Dawn is shaking hers in the second panel.

    “Luann”: What I’d really like to see here is a realistic scene where TJ goes to the cops.

    “Police! Quickly! You must hear this recording! I work at Weenie World, and my boss overcharges people! I have her on tape admitting it!”

    “Kid, do you have an actual police matter or are you just fooling around?”

    “Seriously! Sometimes my evil boss charges too much for hot dogs. I have it all on tape! You must arrest her, right now! Now, before she can strike again!”

    “Go home, kid.”

    “Ann Eiffel must be stopped! My recording will bring her down! Listen to it! Listen to it!”

    “Okay, that’s it, I’m calling your parents.”

  196. Marc
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127): Is it weird that the I immediately thought of the Family Circus shutting it down before I realized what you were really talking about?

  197. Marc
    November 2nd, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#196): Because for some reason my mind eliminated the T and only saw the FC. This site has done things to my mind.

  198. Joshua
    November 2nd, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#155): Hey, you’re supposed to provide a “SPOILER ALERT” before giving away the ending!

  199. Dale
    November 2nd, 2012 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#127):

    Huzzah, huzzah! It always puzzles me that Rachel never tells me which of my credit cards she’s talking about.

    Is Tana(sp?) from TV still searching NYC for a pop-rivet tool?

  200. Dale
    November 2nd, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#195):

    LUANN

    This is somewhat like Tom Goes to the Mayor.

  201. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#71): Oh. Your. God. I did not see that.

  202. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 2nd, 2012 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#130): “No, Mary. I just mean I bought at the MultiMegaPlex Outlet, is all. They have Soylent Green half-off.”

  203. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#y292):

    The solution is soooooo simple! Just delete the offending photo (which doesn’t really delete it, but it marks the memory location as free for use), and then take a photo of something else (which will overwrite the offending data from the offending photo in the free memory location), and Avery and Bubba are good to go. Fish pix is saved, pot pix is gone.

    // Making a mountain out of a mole hill they are!

  204. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#11):

    Methinks we need Fashion Police to weigh in!

    Oh Fashion Police, where for art thou?

  205. Sgt. Stoned
    November 2nd, 2012 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    Lio: Yeah, those air-conditioner repairmen are busy as all hell in late October…

    Archie: If Lio lives in Riverdale, then I guess it iss gut news dat der air-conditioner hass been repaired!

    GT: Doyle, who made Terry a Milford superstar, pulls on his pud while Terry takes 5 dates to the dance…

  206. bats :[
    November 2nd, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#160): cool to know (I do know that *if* we have encyclopedias donated to the local Friends of the Library, we pray that it’s a 1911 EB!).

  207. Paul1963
    November 3rd, 2012 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#185):
    I remember the “Snuffy quits bootlegging” storyline, as the Sun still ran the strip at the time. And it really was a storyline, which went on for weeks as a big-city P.R. guy dragged Snuffy off to the land of indoor toilets to try and make him into a celebrity. Snuffy eventually got tired of sitting around his luxury hotel suite with his designer dog, waiting for people to offer him endorsement deals (“Howdy! Ah’m Snuffy Smif an’ ah’m here t’talk to ye ’bout Ceee-alis!”), and went back to Hootin’ Holler. He took the trendy little dog with him, but eventually it disappeared, along with any and all references to the strip’s first continuity in decades.

  208. Dale
    November 3rd, 2012 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#206):

    Around 1961-2, I remember reading that libraries were complaining about damage to their reference collections. It seems that teachers, grade school I think, were assigning reports that needed pictures.

  209. Another Kiwi
    November 3rd, 2012 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    Is David Lynch drawing A3G these days? Because it’s got that “None of This Makes Sense and we’re Mucking Around with the Perspective to Make it More Dreamlike” thing going on. Why are Evan’s hair, the door jam, the filing cabinet and the Picture Frame from Another Dimension, all the same colour?
    Agent Cooper?

  210. tallyHO
    November 3rd, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    http://www.jsonline.com/comics/32402404.html?feature_id=Dick_Tracy&feature_date=2012-11-02

    In this one from Friday, Dick Tracer seems to shot at the Measly Weasel.

    The only thing which would make me think that Tracer misses is because there is a mysterious, golden L hovering above the scene in panel two.

    It seems like this Measler Guy was shot at, has an axe wielding woman with profound vision coming for him AND his gets a shovel full of hot ash in the face! Dude shouldn’t make it out of that room with the convenient furnace without a few scars.

    Though, given the three vectors of attack on the miscreant, perhaps a fourth is possible if….ooooh. Say, something along the lines of…

    Marmaduke drops through the skylight, howling all the way as he descends to claim Measles soul for the Debbil, who’s kid hasn’t had measles yet and wants to get it over with now versus later in eternity when it might be painful for the kid.

    Though, if you ask me, that last attack vector sounds like BS.

    haha

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