The Comics Curmudgeon

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Kids today

Funky Winkerbean, 4/19/08

Ha ha! It’s funny because Funky looks volcanically angry! He’s no doubt going to physically assault his stepson! It’s wacky!

I know that every generation throughout history has thought that the next generation coming up represents the end of civilization as we know it, and yet civilization continues not to end. Still, I live only a few blocks from the main Johns Hopkins undergraduate campus, so my neighborhood is somewhat lousy with the youth of today, and I am continually appalled by the social situations in which they think it’s acceptable to wear their pajama bottoms — and I’m someone who works at home and wears pajama bottoms pretty much all day. Maybe someday I’ll feel comfortable wearing them to the store, like the kids do, but somehow I doubt it. But I generally take an attitude of wry amusement about it, and don’t, say, glower like I’m about to punch someone in the throat.

Family Circus, 4/19/08

For once, I agree with Jeffy. Life in the Keane Kompound could only be made more entertaining if hungry, hungry zoo animals were set loose there.

Blondie, 4/19/08

Try to visualize exactly how that towel is wrapped around Dagwood’s waist. Now try to tell me that Mr. Dithers isn’t looking at Dagwood’s junk.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 19, 2008 at 09:32 am and is filed under Blondie, Family Circus, Funky Winkerbean.

163 responses to “Kids today”

Uncle Lumpy
April 19th, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Julius Dithers is Slylock Fox!
Calico
April 19th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Dagwood – TMI.
Do they have somepin’ goin’ on like Beetle and Sarge?
Mibbitmaker
April 19th, 2008 at 9:44 am [Reply]

FC: One word, Jeffy: Jumanji. Aw, it’d make no difference, all those zoo animals would just end up filling the kids’ pet graveyard to capacity anyway.

Blondie (as above): Talk about a close working relationship!

FW: Watch, as Funky’s hairline receeds by the panel! Maybe it’s like the reverse of (My Name is) Earl’s karma list: every time Funky does bad things, he loses more hair. Serves him right!
Kurdt
April 19th, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

SO!!! I see you still have your balls after working for me for 50 years, very interesting.
Carly
April 19th, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

I had the thought about Dagwood before I read your comments, so it must be true. There’s a mental image I didn’t need. I don’t want to be thinking about Dagwood’s junk, period, muchless his boss staring at it.

Man, I wear my PJs pretty much all the time at home, but I don’t in any way think it’s okay to wander around in them outside, and I’m a casual dresser at best. Maybe to your 7am final, but not to class in general.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 19th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

Evacuated just in the nick of time from not one but two dying threads:

BB: Marry you? I don’t think he’s aware you’ve even been dating.

(WT)DT: No, Mr. SWAT Guy, wrong word choice. Your only purpose is to enter by force. So why didn’t you do it a month ago?

In panel 3, Lector suddenly realizes he left the bath running upstairs.

GA: What’s in the paper that’s so interesting to these homeless bums? It’s a story about Mark Trail giving a depressed girl a puppy! Why, I bet if these guys were to dognap that puppy, they could ransom it back for enough to buy a night at the flophouse and a bottle of fortified wine for each of them!

JP: Is Abbey even capable of standing up straight? Not that I’m complaining, mind you. But the woman must have more back problems than Kafuka Fuura. (Anime fans will get it.)

Marvin: This joke would make more sense if Dinky had a neck that was thicker than, say, his own finger. It still wouldn’t be funny, but it would make more sense.

Momma: So Momma is the latest victim of the subprime mortgage crisis. Shouldn’t someone as ancient as she is have paid off her house by now? Must be all those reverse-mortgages she took out to pay for her trips to Indian casinos. Now they’ve come due, long after she expected drink and a dissolute sex life to have laid her in her grave, and none of her children will take her in. Well, Momma, look on the bright side — they’ll feel really, really guilty if you kill yourself! And be sure to use some really messy method so they’ll never be able to sell that house again. That’ll teach the mortgage company.

Jungle Patrol! In Color: No, no, that was a typo! He said their methods are feckless. You know, ineffective, futile, incompetent, irresponsible and lazy. Which means you should fit right in here at Jungle Patrol! Get your gear; we’re assigning you to Camp Swampy.

PC: How does what thing work again? You mean, sequential graphical narrative? Sorry, I think you’re beyond my help there.

ZtP: Zippy jumps on the “What is happening with this world?” bandwagon.
bk
April 19th, 2008 at 10:00 am [Reply]

Did Bumstead sleep with Dithers’ wife? Why is he barging into the house like that? Dude has no boundaries.
Lisa
April 19th, 2008 at 10:02 am [Reply]

Is there a link to the old, old Funky Winkerbeans? I remember reading it in high school. I specifically would like to see some examples of Funky in high school, to compare with him as an adult….
Buck Remus
April 19th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

So…”Pickles” gently horrified me again this morning over a nice breakfast.
http://www.comics.com/wash/pickles/

No Opal I don’t want to know.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
April 19th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

I’m willing to accept that Dagwood takes baths. It’s a little strange, but if it makes him happy, that’s fine.

But, his boss just barged into his house and then the bathroom. And found a tub full of hot water and assumed it must have been Dagwood’s bath.

So, um, aside from the trespassing and the dystopian view of worker rights, Dagwood’s boss knows he takes baths? Is he sharing that around work? I might jump to the conclusion that the bath was for one of the female members of the family (so gender normative, I know, I’m sorry).

But I guess if Dagwood is in such a state of serfdom or slavery that his boss is entitled to search for him in the bath in his home, then he doesn’t have many secrets from his boss regarding any aspect of his life.

In short, the junk is nothing the boss hasn’t seen before.
Lisa
April 19th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Oh, and I see kids here all the time in their pajama bottoms. It’s the new style, I guess…. and I see house shoes/slippers a lot too. Nice to feel that comfortable in your surroundings….. ?
Carly
April 19th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]

Actually, the more I look at Blondie, the more convinced I am that it’s some bizarre crossover with Spider-man, the way Dagwood’s hanging on there. Blondie still has more action, though, as today’s Spider-man involves MJ crying over her lost film career.
Andrew
April 19th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

I used to work at the library at Hopkins. Those students were some of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met in my life. Didn’t always translate to common sense since I had to keep asking them not to stick their heads into the moving shelves to see if it would stop (compact shelving). Proud to say that no one lost their head while I was there
Hugin
April 19th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

BB: Ewww. Just, ewww.

MRSA, MD: Fire is your best defense. Nothing cleanses like the searing heat of a town ablaze, so get to it.

MT: It’s too bad that this storyline isn’t focusing on the right lesson. Keep your damn dogs fenced in or on leash, people.

MW: I like the fact that two guys are yelling at each other in the hospital hallway and are by all appearances about to come to blows yet nobody has called security. Are they thinking that Mary must have everything under control?

FOOB: A word of advice, April. If you want to lead your own life and have control over anything, get away — far away — from Elly as soon as possible. Have the fates of your siblings, not to mention the last few days’ strips taught you nothing? Today did prove that LJ can still produce an emotion other than anger and hatred in me. I just pity April at this point.

DT: Worst SWAT team ever.
syro0
April 19th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

While it’s not surprising to see Dagwood enact his sexual fantasies with someone other than Blondie, it’s mildly disturbing to find out that it’s the outside bathroom wall; again, while it’s probably natural that he would pretend to take a bath (including a conspicuously full bathtub), it freaks me out that he would leave the front door AND the bathroom door unlocked, all obviously in order to attract possible viewers for kicks. Talking of that: poor poor neighbors.
Isaac
April 19th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

For some reason, now I can’t shake the impression that Dagwood has another set of hair-antennae down south.

How will I scour that image out of my brain?
Worm
April 19th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Mr. Dithers is standing in the pool of hot water to prove his absurd theory also!
Calico
April 19th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Here’s my little Boxcar contribution to the “How are you going to kill it?” Morganville Social Club:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25708522@N06/2424824417/
underwhelm
April 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

I know I’m sort of late to the FW time warp, and FW’s relationship with its sister comic, but are we supposed to believe at this point that Funky is Crankshaft?

Because that plaid lampshade in panel 2, combined with the balding, jowly spite in panels 1 and 3 are quite suggestive of this notion.
Rotten Arsenal
April 19th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Dagwood is such a wuss! He missed a prime opportunity to live out the American Dream of killing one’s boss with a double barrel shotgun blast to the chest! I mean, really, if somebody barges into my house yelling and screaming angrily while I’m in the tub, I ain’t taking any chances… BLAM!
astroboy
April 19th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

I now pity April to the point where I’ve even forgiven her for being in a band called 4-Evah. And that takes a lot of forgiving.
ratnerstar
April 19th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

“He didn’t wear his pajama bottoms and slippers to school again?!” Like Josh, I assume this sentence is equivalent to “Don’t tell me he wore his pajama bottoms and slippers to school again!” Yet I can’t help thinking that the most obvious interpretation is actually that he was supposed to wear them, but didn’t.
Kiesha
April 19th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

I think the more appropriate final panel to today’s FOOB should read:

“Dreams? What are dreams? I’m going to marry you in eight years and produce lots of babies and then complain with my equally repressed female neighbor about how one of them turned out gay.”
Dr. Mabuse
April 19th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

FBOFW – Boy, what was that dinner Elly force-fed to April last night – curried assholes? Gerald is all of 18, and April’s snapping at him because he wants to try something a little different instead of zombie-walking into teacher’s college, like everyone else who wanders into the Pattersons’ orbit? Hey, Gerald, why don’t you look up Paul – he’s another guy who’s committed the crime of having an interesting life; maybe Rebecca needs another roadie, and you guys could laugh over the Patterson sisters when you’re between setups.
Calico
April 19th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

I think Dithers is angry because Dag started their bathhouse ritual without him. The hanging off the window sill is simply part of their foreplay.

FOOB – Let Gewald go, April. He probably has an STD from doin’ it with Becky anyway.
Steve S
April 19th, 2008 at 10:47 am [Reply]

Yes, Dagwood thinks he’s Spider-Man. He’s already got the lying-on-the-couch-napping-all-day part down pat.
Tom T.
April 19th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

There’s another towel flap hanging in front of Dagwood. He’s decent, even from Dithers’ angle.

As for FW, keep in mind that it’s the school that has a problem with the pajama bottoms; they’re so troubled by them that they’re calling for a parent conference. Funky’s a jerk, sure, but he’s angry here because his son is doing something deliberately to tick off the school.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
April 19th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Oh, and that last panel of Blondie is so going on my “screensaver of random and hilarious-when-taken-out-of-context” comic panels.
NotAGoatHead
April 19th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Man, Funky is so hot and steamed at Cory that the trophy in the first panel is melting.

Ya know, I don’t even wear pajamas. Just urine soaked dog suits that are purified by Tax Bat.
Joe
April 19th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

Today’s Dagwood… most disturbing comic I’ve ever seen.

The boss can just ~~trespass~~ barge into Dagwood’s house like that?
And after feeling that his bathwater was still warm, he pursued his subordinate in an attempt to show that not only does he own his soul at work, but dammit, on his off hours too.
Godzooky
April 19th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Blondie: Sticking a finger in someone else’s bathwater to see how warm it is? The MRSA colony grows…
Calico
April 19th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

#28 – It’s even worse than Coach Kleats’ picture from the waist up with the numerous SLAP! SLAP! Noises.

Maybe we can have a little vote-what is the squikiest panel you’ve ever seen on the comic pages, or, keeping things in a bit of perspective, in the last year or two?
Les of the Jungle Patrol
April 19th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

Foob: It’s clear what’s going on here. April’s smug “I want to lead.” What 19 year old musician wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to go on tour? The university will still be there in a year or two, but rock and roll youth is fleeting. April knows this. But she’s suddenly turned into her mom. There’s a good reason for this: she hasn’t been asked to go on tour. She’s jealous as hell.

What’s unclear is why the author is presenting this as some sort of triumph. It’s a good thing she didn’t come back with, “yeah, i hear tour food sucks.” As the smugness would have rung (only very slightly) more hollow.

Anyway, there’s still hope for her. I went straight into university to study computer science. Because being a musician was too unreliable for my (financial) future. But I came back to it and she can too. She will, if it’s in her system as much as we’ve been told. You can’t cut that out without cutting out your soul.
Will
April 19th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

It’s almost a little more distressing that Mr. Dithers just walked right into the room in which he presumed Bumstead was bathing.
Joe Blevins
April 19th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

FC: Love how Jeffy has coordinated his plum-colored sweatshirt with his sneakers. Together with his black tights and blue leg warmers, they constitute quite a snappy ensemble. If you’re gay. And a choreographer. In the 1980s.
sinblossom
April 19th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann made me tired. Once upon a time, Luann was a dorky, homely girl, unlike the bombshells in all the other comics. Can’t have that, though, so she had to have the makeover. Now, of course, we’ll have another iteration of the lesson that homely men are the true soul mates of stunning women, because hot guys are all unavailable jerks and not-hot women? Well, they just don’t exist.
commodorejohn
April 19th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

A3G – Hahaha, Gabriella thinks she’s psychic.

AS – Hmm, today’s Argyle Sweater is…surprise! not funny. Look, dude, comics aren’t made automatically funny just by having a lameass pun in them – look at For Better Or For Worse, for example. Moreover, you have about the same skill with perspective as an average ten-year-old; why is the fence parallell to the sides of the panel if we’re looking at the ground from a thirty-five-degree angle? At least the caption box is necessary today, since the comic would make even less sense without it.

BB – Must…get…mind…out…of…gutter…

Blondie – So Mr. Dithers is not only Dagwood’s boss, but his stalker?

Crankshaft – For my money, we don’t see enough of these condescending brats being given a hard time by the old people in the strip.

Curtis – Okay, so we’ve got all of next week for the confrontation and denouement. I wonder how this is all going to work out?

DT – Your days are numbered, Cole Lector! The SWAT team of Tracy doppelgangers is about to perforate you!

FOOB – Okay, what does this even mean? It’s been well and truly established that they’re going in different directions, since I guess musicians like Gerald are just too wild and unreliable to be Pattersons (as opposed to good solid fellows of unimpeachable moral character who manipulate their wives into being something they’re not, then cheat on them when they’re not happy about being bullied into domesticity, I guess.) So why is Lynn making April drive the wedge in further? I guess the Pattersons’ clannish xenophobia is rubbing off on her; let’s hope she gets off to university before getting assimilated any further into the Patterson Collective.

FW – No, Funky, it was even more subversive than that: he enjoyed talking with his friends. I mean, if everybody were allowed to have happiness in their lives, what sort of world would this be? Not Funky Winkerbean, that’s for sure.

GF – Okay, Conley, I can’t tell you how to write your strip, but I can’t say that referencing one show that’s far past its prime and one that was never funny to begin with is all that amusing, particularily given the absence of a joke in the strip itself.

GT – Hey, Fifty-Year-Old Clark Gable, “qué pasa” is the more typical Spanish greeting, I believe. It’s certainly less over-wordy and contorted.

HTH – Why is Helga speaking on behalf of her desiccated mother? I’m getting serious Psycho vibes here.

Luann – Evans, this was stupid when Lynn did it. It’s downright creepy now.

MF – This just in: a new study confirms that people who don’t watch TV don’t feel compelled to bitch about it to anybody who’ll listen.

MW – “Nuh-uh!” “Uh-huh!” “Nuh-uh!” “Uh-huh!” “Nuh-uh!” “Uh-huh!”

Momma – Erm, that’s interesting decor they have there. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a house furnished with giant toy blocks before.

RMMD – “Cleanliness is next to godliness! It’s our best defense against those godless Reds!”

Edison Lee – I was going to point out that there is actually a market for vintage typewriters, as with most antiques, but since selling them as collectibles would net this disrespectful little schmuck far more money, I’m not going to bring it up.

WOI – LADY GODIVA WAS NOT A STRIPPER. NOT PROFESSIONALLY ANYWAY.

Ziggy – Fans of Ziggy being mentally and physically abused by those around him will love today’s strip.
Rusty
April 19th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

FW: Funky continues to morph into Archie Bunker. How does a freshman in high school get an arm band tattoo, I thought you had to be 18 in most states? Maybe Cory has been “kept back” on more than one occasion in the hope that his maturity will catch up to the rest of the kids. Also, old school FW seemed to be about every character other than Funky, who was the least developed character in the strip. I guess Batiuk had to let him develop over time into the raging asshat we have today.

Blondie: Not as disturbing as the local neighborhood kid, Elmo I think, who used to wander into the bathroom all the time when Dagwood was soaking.
Slylock Foxy
April 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

Damn, Jeffy is rocking those electric blue legwarmers over black leggings. I can’t wait to see him in the latest revival of A Chorus Line, unless he’s devoured by rampaging jungle beasts first, which I’m dying to see as well. It’s a toss-up.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
April 19th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

GA: All right, to those of you who pay attention to what I occasionally say here, all two or three of you: I PREDICT:

WHAT ONE OF THE
UNDER-BRIDGE BUMS HAS SEEN IN THE NEWSPAPER IS AN ARTICLE WITH A PHOTOGRAPH ABOUT THE UPCOMING NUPTIALS OF STURDIVANT AND WHAT IS HER NAME, THAT LITTLE NYMPH! AND THEY RECOGNIZE EITHER HIM OR HIS PARENTS AS FORMER OR STILL CURRENT HILLBILLY BUMS WHO ARE POSING AS SOCIETY STARS! IN OTHER WORDS IT WILL BE SOON REVEALED THAT STURDIVANT AND HIS PARENTS ARE PHONIES!!!! Maybe even first cousins of JOEL and RUFUS!!!!

REMEMBER, you read it here, predicted by Little A., who has in the past been correct more than 8 per cent of the time!!!!
Tabby Lavalamp
April 19th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Strange. When my boss barges in on me at home during a bath, it usually ends up in some sweet, sweet lovin’. I know it’s different – they’re two guys – but damn it, I want some Dithers/Bumstead slash on the comics page instead of clogging up my hard drive.
underwhelm@gmail.com
April 19th, 2008 at 11:52 am [Reply]

39 Slylock Foxy:

Of course, in the FC version of A Chorus Line, when Jeffy sings “God, I hope I get it!” God and Grandpa’s ghost will dance by upstage, and will make sure it happens.

Not Me is responsible for Paul’s broken leg.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
April 19th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

Dagwood should move the hell away and get a new job. That boss is bleeding CREEPY.
jaybrrd
April 19th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Josh, a simple answer to your pajama quandry: Get a set of scrubs.

They’re impossibly comfortable, and you can go out in them without feeling like a dipwad. In fact, most people look at you with a sense of awe and respect, because they think you’re a medical professional so dedicated to your job, you rarely scrub out.
Godzooky
April 19th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Re: Jeffy’s outfit: I think it’s actually supposed to be jeans with folded-up cuffs. However, the cuffs are drawn rolled-up and, according to my initial Google searches, that’s a woman’s wear style. If so, not too far removed from black tights and leg warmers. The heck with it, carry on…
bats :[
April 19th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Mr. Dithers is irrevocably scarred forever by looking at Dagwood’s junk! (Blondie doesn’t call it a “foot-long hoagie” for nothin’!)
TheDiva
April 19th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

33 Les: And since when is being in a band mutually exclusive with going to college? It’s not like there’s a dearth of coffee houses and bars and hangouts around your average university…

38 Rusty: I think it depends on the state–in some you can be 16 with parental consent. Since Funky seems to be careening towards Crankshaftdom, however, I’m guessing Cory relied on a good ol’-fashioned fake ID.
Red Greenback
April 19th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

FC Jeffy: Would have been much funnier if he said- “I got off that boat with nothing but my dancers belt and a tube of CHAPSTICK!”
Corkey
April 19th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

Is Jeffy wearing leg warmers? Cause I gotta tell you, if he burst into a spontaneous Flashdance routine, he’d remove a lot of the ill will I have towards him.
iedit
April 19th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Apparently in the Foob universe, it’s only OK to pursue your dreams if you’re St. Michael, who can quit his job and put more pressure on his poor wife so that he can write his shitty books. These comics are a peek into Lynn Johnston’s psche, and it’s a very dark and disturbing place.
commodorejohn
April 19th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

#40 Little A. – Perfectly plausible, but I kind of doubt it, since that would be interesting and amusing. We’ll see, I guess.

#50 iedit – “These comics are a peek into Lynn Johnston’s psche, and it’s a very dark and disturbing place.”
No kidding. I wonder if she realizes just how much of her mental illness she’s displaying for the entire world to see.
Weaselboy
April 19th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

Yes, Mr. Winkerbean, I’m taking time out from dealing with campus violence, soaring dropout rates and drug abuse to inform you of your step-son’s fashion faux-pas, you dick.
Wolf Shepherd
April 19th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

# 40 Little A. – That was my first thought, too.. that the bum recognized one of his own and that it is likely to be Turdy Sturdy.

Ziggy – Man, today’s comic leaves a lot to the imagination. Photoshop, anyone?

MW – I was disappointed in red shirt. “I’m sorry” is not the proper response. The proper response is, “Fuck off you old hag. This is none of your goddamn business.” At least that is what I would have said.
Red Greenback
April 19th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

Effin’ Wankerboil: It worked for Jacko… http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/2425906334/
Bryan
April 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

So, Cory isn’t Funky’s biological child? Man, imagine having the last name “Winkerbean” thrust upon you because your Mom got remarried to some douchebag. No wonder Cory’s lashing out!

40: Little A: I am in awe of your prognosticating power. I had predicted that the Sturdivant family was going to lose its fortune and have to live amongst the destitute. But yours is much better.
Wolf Shepherd
April 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Curtis – Here’s an idea. Why don’t you ask him where he got the money?
Spike
April 19th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

#38 Rusty: Cory is the son of Holly Budd and her first husband–Funky is just a stepfather (until Batiuk retcons the story line again). I figured that Cory got the tattoo when he visited his father–you know, a father/son bonding thing–matching tats. At least Funky has the Grecian Formula thing going today. (Most Sundays his hair is white.)

MW: I’m still waiting for one of these two to just pop Mary. Today she seems to be sizing them both up, hoping that at least one of them will ask her out, thus assuring yet another argument between them. Look out, Dr. Jeff! Meanwhile, back at the hospital library, the woman who sent Mary out to deliver material three hours ago, looks up at the clock and smiles. Once again she has dodged the intrusive Old Girl’s questions about her non-hospital life…

Blondie: The. Mind. Boggles.
Old School Allie Cat
April 19th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

#44 – Jaybrrd – I live near a hospital, and nothing skeezes me out more than being at the Kroger, hand selecting my produce next to someone wearing scrubs. It makes me think – how many sick people did this person touch today, and what body fluids are lingering on their scrubs? I know, it’s petty, but it bugs me.

Blondie – I suspect that Dagwood’s junk has three perfectly straight hairs sprouting horizontally from each testicle. Beyond that, I don’t give much thought to it.

FOOB – What, Apes, you’re going to be a Rock n Roll Veterinarian Prime Minister? Good luck with that.

Luann – Careful there, Sugartits (by which I mean Greg Evans) – Lynn Patterson already tried the Mr. Wright bit with Paul the Mountie – disasterous.
Up4it
April 19th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: fast forward to a year later – April’s still living at home, getting ready to begin her sophomore year at the community college down the street. She switches on the tv to the local MTV-clone, to discover Gerald being interviewed – amongst adoring fans – about that new, harder-edge style, hit song he co-wrote with Rebecc-AH, called “April. Fool!”. It went gold, and now he’s being called on to “collaborate” with other such, er – ‘equally talented’ singers.
Buck Ripsnort
April 19th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

So if the boss can not only–
1) demand a sample of your body fluids at any time (for testing, I mean)
2) show up at your house unannounced, but
3) barge into your home bathroom when he knows you’re naked–
Just maybe you need a tougher union.
Mars
April 19th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Anyone figured out what the censored words in today’s Get Fuzzy mention yet?

I know which South Park episode Bucky’s mentioning, but I have no idea when Stewie said “monkey boy.”
Smokey Stover
April 19th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

Somebody who gets all worked up about how teenagers dress is probably not going to be happy in the pizza business.
RaJ
April 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

What’s totally nuts about FBOFW is that, despite sharing a name and place of origin, April has apparently never heard Avril Lavigne’s tragicomic tale of miscreant love denied, and is thus setting herself up to recreate it. Listen, April: don’t be that girl who five years from now, is feeding the baby and is all alone! Liz will just complain to Elly how you’re copying her.
Poteet
April 19th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

GA — I’m inclined to go with the Sturdivant’s-a-fake theory. On the other hand, I think that’s supposed to be an actual expensive car that his parents have, unless they rented or stole it. And as I was trying to think of a theory that would encompass a fake rich family with an actual expensive car and a son whose magic sweater changes school names every few minutes, a might wave of Gasoline Apathy rolled over me. Eh, I don’t care.
Islamorada Girl
April 19th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

GA: As I recall, those underbridge dwellin’ trolls are Amanda Lynn’s biological family, who appear every now and then to cause havoc in her life, usually because they smell money. She was adopted by Adam and Tika. I think the last time, Papa Troll and his ne’er do well sons stole Amanda Lynn’s mandolin (get it?). So you know they’re going to bust in and put the white trash kibbosh on the snobly Sturdevant family, who are the rudest people in the world. Including the French. It would be hard to pick a loser in this coming brawl.
Poteet
April 19th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

# 64 — Sorry, that should have been “mighty.” Too much apathy.
Dagger
April 19th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Blondie: SO! Thought you could TAKE SATURDAY OFF!
commodorejohn
April 19th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

#64 Poteet – Well, I noted a while back that it’s actually Scrooge McDuck’s limo – look at the hood ornament!
bats :[
April 19th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

All right…now they’re sending in the biddies…poor Andy!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2425193413/
Poteet
April 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

FC — Okay, that’s it. I’m through. I’m done reading FC online, unless it appears on CC. Something about today’s sad attempt at humor was the last straw. Keane Kompound, I’m outta here.
Poteet
April 19th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

# 68 commodorejohn — HAR! Thanks, I missed that the first time around.
Brent
April 19th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

FW: I can just see Funky chewing out Cory when he gets home… “Why weren’t you wearing pajama bottoms and slippers like I told you to! Jeans and chucks will just get you into nothing but trouble!”

Foob: I’d just like to point out that Gerald is 17 and that they both have one entire year of high school left before university. What he does this summer is pretty much irrelevant… he’s still got more than a year before he makes the final decision on whether he’s going to put off university to take a shot at The Biz.
Diamond Joe
April 19th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Relive the thrilling days of yesterthread! (With some already extensively-discussed strips, and some of the pettier gripes, deleted.)

A3-G: “Something bad is coming, something very bad! How do we kill it?”

Bizarro: I like the phrase “100% Frat Free,” but what does it have to do with being generic? What with that and “NOW with 20% More Knowledge!” it’s like two jokes, one about generics and one about advertising, were grafted together in the lab.

Cleats: Either he doesn’t know what Shmoos are, in which case I don’t know how he’s brought images of them to mind, or he forgot in the space of a few seconds that he’d been visualizing Shmoos, in which case he needs a neurological assessment, pronto.

Curtis: “And not ever again trust us”? I can see it fits the balloon better than “and never trust us again,” but who the hell speaks this way? On the upside, there was not a single quotation mark in today’s strip.

Dick Tracy: And the stunning secret is that “Cole Lector” is actually… Al Jolson in blackface! Mammy! (By the way, he seems to be aiming not just for Dick Tracy, but for Tracy dick.)

DineSe: “Some not particularly bright people chat aimlessly about stuff” can’t have been a very effective pitch, and yet, there it is. Certainly it wasn’t the art that sold it.

Foob: Today’s sermon from Mount Foob: expanding your horizons is for losers.

GA: Ooo, trenchant commentary on the shrinkage of major newspapers’ comics sections.

GT: The lower half of Senor Scoliosis there is off-center with his top half in two directions. He must have to turn his head to aim in the restroom. Also, in panel 3, he makes a hideous transformation into Walt Disney.

GaBI: Is the problem that it reminds me of the hyperinflation in Germany in the 1920’s that saw people being paid twice a day for precisely this reason? Or is it just plain not funny?

JP: Wait, so she felt she was so badly injured that she needed to call Abbey the instant she came to rest at the bottom of the stairs, and then she made her way inside and put on an ice pack? Abbey demonstrates her annoyance passive-aggressively by taking time out to “Vogue” before getting the car. Also, breasts! Ooo! Ahh!

MF: Wow, Tinsley’s just as timely and on-point as a social commentator as he is a political one! Daytime TV is bad! Wow! Sock it to the man! Fight the power! Wait, “Melt those abs!”?

Peanuts: There are nearly fifty years of strips. You’d think they could leave out ones this specifically dated.

Pluggers: Pluggers are morbidly obese! Wow, that one never gets old!

Quigman’s: Uh, what? It’s a robot dog… and a bark… and a bite… and… Cripes, I dunno.

RM: Is Rumple McStubble, there, really the best possible advocate for cleanliness? And what’s with that weird panel break? Were they contractually obligated to deliver three panels or something?

SL: If this is the final day of this strip, this is the best ending ever.

SF: Either she’s planning to cluck like a chicken in indignation, or she has wicked high hips.

SB: See? Because they’re barbarians, and they’re following Robert’s Rules of Order and… celebrating birthdays… and stuff.
RaJ
April 19th, 2008 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

The Funk is mad, thinking his stepson wore pajama pants. “Who needs pajamas, you can sleep when you’re dead.” At which point Cory will catch an incommunicable disease and die, which will be reasonably sad news for his mother but a relief for Funks. As nobody frequents the pizza parlor anyway, he can just remove the furniture, revealing its true nature as a somewhat large coffin. The extra room will be convenient, after the inevitable accident involving a schoolbus and irony.
mollificent
April 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

Josh re: Blondie: you read my mind!!

Yester-yesterthread Niall 245: Yup, it was pretty awesome. I was in Ireland for two months, and spent one month working for some relatives who own a restaurant in Galway (the Bridge Mills Restaurant, if you want to know), and the next month gallivanting about. Luckily my aunt and her family showed up just as I was concluding my employment at the restaurant, so I gadded about with them for a few weeks, and then had a few weeks of totally solo gadding, which was also sheer heaven.

Yes, the Burren is absolutely gorgeous. I, however, felt inexplicably drawn to Connemara, and kept ending up back there whenever I had free time. Mmmm, wild untamed landscape! Mmmmm, sheep! Good times.

Yester-yesterthread Bats 247: Brilliant! I knew I could count on you! :D

Re: the wearing of the PJs: On a sad note, one of my cousins passed away unexpectedly almost a year ago (April 30th). We all flew out to North Carolina for the memorial, and his older brother (big burly macho handsome Army medic dude) spent most of the week, except the actual memorial itself, wearing Kevin’s pajama bottoms…and we’re talking zany Grinch-Who-Stole-Christmas and Santa Claus prints. Kevin had a unique sense of humor. :) Anyway, I’m not necessarily in favor of random pajama-wearing in public, but this was pretty damned endearing. *sniffle*.

P.S. Forgive my density (especially if I’ve asked this before) but can somebody explain to me how/when Amanda Lynn and Sturdy got together? I mean, they have about as much in common as Dick Cheney and a ten-point buck.

P.P.S. Also to repeat from yester-yesterthread: I live in Seattle too–Fremont district. Mudge meet! Mudge meet! :D
Red Greenback
April 19th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

53-Wolf Shepherd: Ahh, Ziggy! Will you ever win?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/2426091428/
Lisa
April 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

I wondered about Amanda and Sturdy too…. this storyline seemed to just come right out of the blue….. where would she have possibly even met him??
Lisa
April 19th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

Oh, I forgot:

(Peanuts: There are nearly fifty years of strips. You’d think they could leave out ones this specifically dated.)

Dr. Seuss will live forever, as will Peanuts…
RaJ
April 19th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Blondie only makes sense (that is, Dithers doesn’t look psychotic) if Dagwood did something to warrant this kind of intrusion. To me, that boils down to an act of violence or lust. As the bathwater isn’t struck with blood, I think it’s important to presume Dag’s been hitching up with the boss’s wife. Which also would explain why Mr. Dithers doesn’t hesitate to stick his finger in the bath. As he recently found out, he has in fact been mingling with Dag’s bodily fluids for months.
Nil Zed
April 19th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Josh re: the weird doings of Johns Hopkins students: But I generally take an attitude of wry amusement about it, and don’t, say, glower like I’m about to punch someone in the throat.

Josh, you ain’t their daddy, that’s the difference. From your current perspective, you can take the attitude of bemused older brother, or uncle. by the time any future mini-mudges are dressing weirdly in college, you will find yourself more perturbed. (though I suspect, like my own parental self, you will choose your battles more carefully than Funky, Ellie, or their ilk.)
RaJ
April 19th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

It took me awhile to figure out why Family Circus is so funny today: Jeffy looks like he’s facing a firing squad. Meanwhile, “We can’t go to the zoo today,” is obviously a polite euphemism for, “Today you’re scheduled to be executed.”

Now, if somebody remembered to bring a hose, you wouldn’t even have to worry about discoloring the rug.
adam
April 19th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

The problem, as it appears on closer examination of Mr. Winkerbean’s wording in the third panel, is that Cory DIDN’T wear his pajama bottoms to school. It is this vision of his stepson bottomless and barefoot in public, AGAIN, that causes the Funky consternation face.
To The Moon, Barfo!
April 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Something seems uncannily familiar about today’s FOOBstrip. Waaait a minute…I’ve got it…this is a reenactment of Sk8ter Boi! Becky is Avril Lavigne, isn’t she!
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 19th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

FC: Given the horrifying non-Euclidean geometry of that corner, zoo animals showing up wouldn’t be a stretch. Nor would Cthulu.

Blondie: Dithers is guilty of illegal entry at best, breaking and entering with the intent to harass at worst. Dagwood isn’t the one who should be hiding. Of course the real victim here is Mr Beezley, who wasn’t expecting an eyefull of Dagwood’s balls. (Or maybe he’s not a victim, don’t know which way he swings.)

RMMD: Mary Worth’s kicky pantsuits certainly do get around.

JP: “You stay there, I’ll stick my butt and rack out. Maybe we can get help that way.”

GT: Mr Vargas won’t let his son fly to another continent with a girl and no adult escort? The Fresh Prince was right. Parents just don’t understand.

BB: Lots of bestiality to go around, I see.

Popeye: What’s so special about Popeye’s spinach. Wimpy seems to get the same results from greasy fried foods.

Ziggy: I don’t even want to begin to know.

Luann: The god of literal mindedness is watching over our young heroine.

OBH: Do I detect a piquant hint of eau de Winkerbean?

DT: The SWAT commander’s gun hand is fully developed. HIs phone hand is horribly atrophied. What does that tell you about his job?

GA: The “rich snobs meet rustic salts of the earth” storyline has gotten mired in the middle of nowhere. At this point the sight of destitute homeless men is a blessed relief.

A3G: “What’s that, God? Margo is the very bad something that is coming? As You were, then.”
Diamond Joe
April 19th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#78 Lisa:

The Dr. Seuss one is fine. I was referring to the one where Lucy says she was wrong once in August 1958. (It was yesterthread because I posted it about 11pm last night.)
electro
April 19th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

Poor Mr. Bumstead: senility (or possibly meth) has made him think he’s Slylock Fox. Meanwhile in the missing fourth panel. Dagwood’s slippery fingers lose their grip on the window ledge and he falls down two stories and is impaled on the white picket fence. Oh … I’m sick.
Perky Bird
April 19th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

FC: I’m assuming little Jeffy has been to a zoo before. Where did he get the idea that he was “playing” with the animals? “Visiting” the animals, I can see, but “playing”?

Unless that’s what his mom called it when she tried to toss him into the lion exhibit.
adam
April 19th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

I should add, as evidence for my interpretation of Funky Winkerbean, that Mr. Dithers shows the very same facial expression when he looks at Dagwood hanging in the breeze.
Calico
April 19th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

#69 Bats –
Jesus Christ, it’s Iris! Nooooo!
mollificent
April 19th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

One more gripe about the Amanda Lynn/Sturdivant obnoxiousness: I’m suddenly hearkening back (did I spell that right?) to the beginning of the Amanda/Sturdy plot (as I know it), where they had registered for a rawther expensive mandolin for Amanda Lynn (*eyeroll*). And it suddenly occurs to me: If her beau and his family are so damned rich, why is she asking her humble agrarian relations to pony up for what must be a super-pimped-out Collings MF5 ?
BigTed
April 19th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else think that Luann’s soon-to-be new boyfriend looks just like Speedy Alka-Seltzer?
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

On FW: I still go to high school, and nowadays it is a fad to wear slippers to school. Our school has no rule against this, surprisingly, but it is rather uncomfortable to walk around a rather large building for eight hours in sole-less shoes, no matter how awesomely fuzzy they may be. Some people also wear pj-like pants with these, baggy plaids, etc. The school has never called a conference because of this. However, this is FW after all. I assume that Cory’s punishment will be detention in an asbestos and carcinogen infected dungeon.
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

On Family Circus: Jeffy thinks that by summoning a hoard of wild animals and setting them loose in the Keane Kompound, he will at last be able to escape the oppression of his binding progenitors and vile broodmates. That he will be able to then appease the beasts by offering them his kin as fresh meat. Hehe, the animals don’t want to eat your family, Jeffy. They require proper payment. They want your soul.
Donald The Anarchist
April 19th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

FW Is it just me, or does Funky’s head grow longer while his neck grows shorter? Is this Funky Winkerbean or Plastic Man?

FC Hey, Jeffy, you may not be able to go TO the zoo, but I bet it would be fun to pretend you’re a chimpanzee! Just imagine the look on your mom’s face as you play with yourself and fling poo at her head!! Plus your dad could probably get a whole week’s worth of strips out of it!
Jana C.H.
April 19th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

JB, mollificent— I’m up for a meeting. Snoose Junction Pizzeria? Or Hale’s Ale on Leary, because it’s half-way between Fremont and Ballard? Any other Sealthian mudges interested?

Jana C.H.
Seattle
Saith Fridtjof Nansen: Fram!
Never teh Bride
April 19th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

FOOB:

Daaaaaang, April, you sure told him! In your face, Gerald! Who wants to be a famous musician anyway?

Now April, that’s for sure. Like all good Pattersons, she wants to settle down ASA-freakin-P!
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

On Blondie: Sweet merciful crap, why can’t Dagwood take a bath? Why will no-one refrain from barging into the bathroom, as any sane person would do at the thought of a naked Dagwood? Why is Blondie not around to try and prevent this intrusion of privacy? What does Dithers want with Dagwood so bad anyway on a weekend? Is it serious enough to merit Dagwood, caught by fear and blind panic, jumping butt-naked but for one small, soggy towel out the window? Did he truly think this would hide him from Dithers, who can open locked doors with his mind? (the other option, that Dagwood takes a bath with both his front door and bathroom door unlocked is upsetting.) We may never know the answers to these questions. I, for one, think that Dag has finally crossed the line into severe depression at the mere thought of going back to his job. He was enjoying a soothing bath, relaxing from a weeks worth of verbal abuse a la Dithers, when he heard the door bang open. Knowing we would be intruded upon again, yet again, he decided to just end it all, there and then, and has been caught by his boss in the process of willing himself to let go of the window-ledge. Unfortunately, his suicide plan was thwarted, and everyone passing by the house got a good look at his crotch. Whatever you do, people, DON’T LOOK UP!
annabananna
April 19th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Given the general wussiness of Dagwood throughout the centuries of Blondie’s run, I d almost be inclined to opine that D. doesn’t possess a junk for Mr. Dithers to be resting his gaze upon. The only evidence to the contrary is the existence of Blondie and Dagwood Junior, neither of whose actual names does it move me to go look up. And, of course, that’s not necessarily proof of Dagwood’s endowed-ness, considering that until she started her ‘catering’ business, Blondie used to do aught but hang around the house with Daisy all day. And, name notwithstanding, we readers have never been given any conclusive visual evidence to prove that Daisy is indeed a bitch, rather than a much more satisfactory conjugal partner than Dagwood could ever hope to be.
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

#98. If you are right, I defy you to then explain how Dag Jr. has somehow genetically inherited the same haircut. We know it must be natural, no self-respecting barber would create that. Dagwood Sr’s just maintains it, and has tried a few times to destoy the beast, as a look through the records shows.
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

#84- No, what you’re smelling is Essence of Crankshaft. Eau de Wickerbean has a distinct tangy aroma, that reminds one of chemo and xrays. Essence of Crankshaft, on the otherhand, smells like embalming fluid and dirt.
NightRaven
April 19th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Hmm… from reading the comments above, I take it that some places it’s not accepted to wear pajama bottoms to school? Over here in Norway it’s been all the fad for the last four/five years, and kids wear them all the time, everywhere, including school. (At least all the kids that are mindless fashion-drones, sensible kids choose a different clothing-style, like metal-gear, or hippy-style or one of several other so-called “alternative” clothing styles (which are of course also a fashion and just as commercial only the kids don’t believe it))
Red Greenback
April 19th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

“Junkless Dagwood” would be a swell name for one of those “rock and roll”‘ musical combos.
Godzooky
April 19th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

4/9 & 4/19 Beetle Bailey: I’m not asking and I pray the Walkers don’t start telling.
Niall
April 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

yy256. Lisa: I don’t need a valet in Ireland, thank you. But darn, many of these accomodation costs would be much lower if they were with two people instead of one. ;)

22. Ratnerstar: I actually found that second interpretation to be my first. Poor grammar.

As for Blondie.. don’t forget that Dagwood has a long-standing history of being disturbed by just about everyone in his bath. What neighbourhood are they in that never locks the front door? And what Craigslist ads is Dagwood running to keep inviting people in?

58. Allie Cat: Agreed. Scrubs shouldn’t be worn outside the hospital grounds. Both for not taking what’s on them outside, and not bringing what’s outside back in.

75. mollificent: I did indeed want to know, as I will be spending a full evening in Galway after visiting Inishmor. :) Should I tell them who sent me there? :) Connemara already pulls me…

79. RaJ: Every single strip with Mrs. Dithers has reaffirmed me that those two haven’t shared any bodily fluids for years.

97. Sorako-chan: (I had typed something, but 98. annabananna said it much more eloquently.)

103. Godzooky: yes. Yes, I did remember that other strip with today’s. Their appearance barely ten days apart is worrisome.
Islamorada Girl
April 19th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

My just- out- of- high- school assistant wears her pj bottoms when she comes over to toil and file. She’s got me doing it too, but I’m old and senile, so I put on regular mom jeans when I leave the house. I like the pj’s; they come in all kinds of great patterns and colors, but like my fleeting youth, the style has passed me by and damn, I’m jealous.
Calvin
April 19th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Does anyone else read Sherman’s Lagoon? Seriously, they just cut the fins off of the main (shark) character, and he’s pretty much dead in the last panel. How are there no comments on this? (Yes, I know it’ll end up all being a dream or something, but still.)
annabananna
April 19th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

#99–must admit you do have me on that point, unless Jr.’s ‘wings’ are just a result of protective coloration reaching heretofore undreamed-of evolutionary heights.
Lou Shumaker
April 19th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Speaking of Dagwood, how come we never see Blondie in the tub? Is it because she never bathes?
Gordo's Cat
April 19th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

#106 — Today’s Sherman’s Lagoon reminds me of the final episode from the first season of Blackadder, where poor Edmund was left mutilated and dying in front of his family and friends — horrible, yet somehow comic at the same time. If this turns out to be the end of the strip, all that’s missing is Sherman’s widow and his little fishy buddy unwittingly drinking mugs of poisoned ale. Rest in pieces, Sherman.
MarlowePI
April 19th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean appears to have turned into Dick Cheney in that last panel, which is perhaps the absolute antithesis of funkitude.
Diamond Joe
April 19th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#99 Calvin:

I did say that if this is the last day of the strip, it’s the coolest ending ever. In fact, it’s the one and only cool thing Sherman’s Lagoon has ever done while I’ve been reading it.
commodorejohn
April 19th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

#109 Gordo’s Cat – Yeah, I kinda can’t take it seriously at all. Even if I were particularily invested in the issue, I don’t think I could divorce it from the entire rest of the strip’s run, which KT succinctly mocked in one of his “added panel” comics that I can’t seem to locate on his site. It’s like if Fred Basset suddenly decided to do a Very Special Episode about canine distemper or something. All I can do is giggle softly to myself and observe that I should probably be feeling bad for doing so.
Trilobite
April 19th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

Usually when divorce is a plot point in a soap strip, I don’t care at all about the reasons why the couple split up. After all, a comic like Mary Worth could make even a divorce from a glue-sniffing abusive spouse who burned down the house and murdered hoboes for fun sound utterly bland and uninteresting.

So please, someone tell me: Why am I becoming increasingly obsessed with finding out why Madeline’s mom and dad split up in Mark Trail? Is it because absentee dad Bill was so easily replaced by a puppy, suggesting that he too spent most of his time romping around playfully and peeing on the floor? Is it because I can’t understand what Cherry sees in Mark and why they’re still married despite his obvious disinterest in her, and wonder how bad things must have been in little Madeline’s home?

Or is it because I’m hoping with all my might that Madeline’s mom filed for divorce after Bill grew facial hair and got arrested? Maybe I just want a jailhouse scene where a bearded man is holding an icepack against his jaw and wishing he could go visit his poor sick daughter.

…yeah, that’s probably it.
Sorako-chan
April 19th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

106 & 109: Yeah, I read Sherman’s Lagoon. (Being a noob commenter here at the CC, I didn’t know we could comment on comics not posted. Yeah, I know, I’m a wimp.) But anyway, I think the strip stands at a crossroads now. Two things can happen.

A) Shark-who’s-name-I-can’t-remember-is-it-sherman? dies. His last words are a bad pun. There is a funeral, where puns are exchanged in bad taste, and we are left with an anti-fishing message.

B) SWNICRIIS comes back to life, someone promptly says a bad pun, and everything is fine.
scud
April 19th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

73: “Peanuts: There are nearly fifty years of strips. You’d think they could leave out ones this specifically dated.”
Actually I think its much funnier now.
commodorejohn
April 19th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

#114 Sorako-chan – Yeah, it’s the titular (hee hee) Sherman who’s been de-finned of late. I’m thinking option B is far more likely (for one thing, if the strip were going to end, one of the ‘Mudges who watch the syndicate announcements would’ve caught it before this even saw print,) but my question is the exact method of the deus ex machina used to restore the status quo. Will it all have been a dream? Will Sherman just somehow magically get better? Or, better yet, will Sherman show up and it’ll turn out to have been some other portly middle-aged shark, setting up a gag wherein he doesn’t even know why everybody’s upset? The mind ~~boggles~~ stifles.
Alfred E. Neuman
April 19th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

#110 MarlowePI Re FW—
It seems to me that the likeness of a mean-spirited criminal psychopath fits well with the current atmosphere of FW.
Necktie Weasel
April 19th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Back in my college years, there was many a morning where I would find I had no clean jeans, and had to be at class in 15 minutes. Pajama pants were always a quick fix. They were also good for the “Holy shit the toilet is clogged and it’s 11 PM and I have to get to Wal-Mart to get a plunger” trips.

Now that I’m gainfully employed, that, sadly, is no longer an option.
Pendragon
April 19th, 2008 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

The author of Sherman’s Lagoon says he wrote this story arc to creat[e] awareness and public interest in saving sharks from extinction. I’ve seen worse PSAs in the comics.
alley (not allie) cat
April 19th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

Re the pajama discussion: I wear men’s pajama bottoms from Target all summer long. Very lightweight cotton, plain colors (no patterns), ten bucks a pop. They look just like thin loose sweat pants with no elastic (ugh) at the ankle.

But I draw the line at the fuzzy bedroom slippers.

I too live right in the heart of a college community, and if I see pajamas on kids, I’m just grateful they’re covered up for once.
Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
April 19th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

FOOB: What’s with the haughty look on April’s face? Is it somehow stuck up to want to be a leader and not a follower? Goodness, this strip irks me. I don’t think April’s attitude in the first strip where Elly loses her cookies was that bad, especially since she’s going to graduate in a month and should have a bit of autonomy by now. John’s reaction of pushing her in her chair was just as unnecessary as Elly’s screaming. For corn’s sake, my parents were strict, humorless, controlling, manipulative freaks and even *they* didn’t resort to physically forcing me to move in a certain direction. (Although I’m sure my mother shouted “I’m tired of being a mother” sorts of things on multiple occasions.)

Dagwood: The idea of the boss coming to bug you at home is a dated concept which I barely understood as a kid, and really don’t get now. It’s like watching Lou Grant on “Mary Tyler Moore” pull out a huge bottle of whiskey from his desk; at the time, it was eccentric and funny, but now it’s frightening.

Gil Thorp: The new artist really breaks my eyeballs. The flipper hands are funny, but not enough to excuse the horrible font.

Pearls Before Swine: I’ve really been liking this concierge storyline with the secondary kitty terrorist subplot. Thank goodness for Josh’s blog, or I’d never have known about PBS.
Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
April 19th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Oh, and about this important pajama issue, I’ve got a ton of plaid flannel pants which look like pajamas but aren’t. On the other hand, I’ve bought pajama pants which are nicer than my regular pull-on lazy day pants. It’s a brave new world in pajama pantsdom, and I for one welcome our new pajama pants standards.
Danzig
April 19th, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

It does seem a little wierd for Dagwood to take baths all of the time. That seems to be a more female thing. The reason that men take showers is that peeing in the bath water is gross.
Tybalt
April 19th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

#20 – You bring your shotgun with you into the bathtub? Methinks you have issues that are going somewhat beyond just shooting people.
Tybalt
April 19th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

#122 : I’ve got a ton of plaid flannel pants which look like pajamas but aren’t

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, my dear, it’s a duck.
Dub Not Dubya
April 19th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

I have too much time on my hands as always, so I recycled a previous mashup that I did to come up with more ways for us to kill it:

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/7189/somanywaysuw0.jpg
LTBF
April 19th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

People are always barging in on Dagwood in the bathtub. Elmo, the plumber, salesmen, Blondie’s gardne club, etc. Those strips have always creped me out because I wouldn’t want someone walking in on me in the tub.

Dagwood may like to take a bath to relax rather than actually clean. He is often seen in the shower in AM set strips.
Freezair
April 19th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

I’m both a college student and guilty of wearing pajama pants out and about. From experience, I can say that it’s less about making a fashion statement (I have no fashion sense, anyway) and more about “Ho-lee crud, I just woke up and class starts in half an hour.” It’s also occasionally about “I have no money to do laundry right now.”
A New Day
April 19th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

FOOB – I agree that April is a bit ridiculous today, but don’t worry, we all know that Gerald will fail and April will marry him. It’s the Foobian way.
RaB
April 19th, 2008 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

Re: Thursday’s MW – is that Goofus and Gallant?
bats :[
April 19th, 2008 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

It’s Sunday, gang! Time for all-color, glorious rehashes!

MT: oooh, a monkey-eating eagle! It’s actually pretty cool, but it would be cooler if Jack Elrod would feature Bucky one Sunday as the monkey-eating cat.

MW: FIGHT! FIGHT! Yeehawwwwwwwww! Knock over your mom’s IV! That’s right!

RMMD: Andy managed to pop out while the audience was rabbling and returns with a spiffy blue suit and shirt (ev’ry girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed vampire); he still can’t tie his necktie worth a damn, though.
And what is this “We’ve lost our son, and he was all we had!”. Sure, it’s a tragedy, but you still have your husband, and your friends, and your family. Geez… (Considering that ~~three weeks~~ less than one day has passed from the kid’s unfortunate death, I’m surprised the parents are at the meeting anyway. Yeah, I’m heartless.)

FOOB: ah, the switched FOOB from a couple of Sundays ago. I salute the high standards of quality control!
Brent
April 19th, 2008 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

#121, Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell, Re: Foob.

I’ll repeat myself. April is not graduating in a month and neither is Gerald. April just turned 17… she didn’t get a birthday strip this year but she did last year for her 16th (note to fellow bad music lovers… there is a link to an actual mp3 of the song at the bottom). April and Gerald are in grade 11 (which has been established many times) and will be graduating in a year and a month. Do not let Lynn get away with what she appears to be trying to pull here.
T Grum
April 19th, 2008 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

#127 LTBF:

You’ve hit the nail on the head. Remember Dagwood’s eating habits. With the things he shovels down his gullet, he obviously had a terminal case of gas. So the baths are sort of a poor man’s Jacuzzi.
Thatgirl
April 20th, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Oh, the burn.. Gordo must be feeling the suck mid-whistle at his cinnamon bunnery across town.
And here I thought Johnston was so p.c. Be a mechanic! Own a landscaping business! But come close to breeding with a Patterson woman, and its clear what she really thinks of them all. This is possibly the only part of the foobiverse that is true to life: Yes, Gerald, go to school for four years, become an accountant, and then work for Gordo. But try not to forget that according to the Laws of Greater Foobdom, you are the one who is in charge. Lead, Gerald, lead away!
Hawkeye
April 20th, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

Blondie: The explanation of this strip is actually quite simple. The creators have read one of the numerous articles about how technology like the Internet and Blackberry has led to many people working from home and on vacation, which means people are never really away from work. “Blondie,” however, is 300 years old, and the concept of “technology” is a confusing and frightening topic to the creators. But because they wanted to seem relevant in today’s fast-paced society, they addressed the issue the only way they knew how: by having work literally invade Dagwood’s home life in a barbarian-like fashion.
Niall
April 20th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

Up Late from the energy of the Ceili Sunday Comics:

BB: Ya know what? I can’t snark this. Only the last panel is snarkable, and even then. This is a situation that’s rarely addressed, and I don’t want to mar it.

Curtis: “Gawd-dah”? In a gawd-dah dah vida? Loco!

Edge City: This will probably be funnier to jewish people… yet, one question nags me: where’s Big Nate? Completely absent. So, it brings to mind a question: must Sunday comics be written, drawn and sent even earlier than weekday cartoons? This might explain it, if this was done first and the Big Nate story added later…

HtH: The doctor is… pink??

JP: *looks at panel 3*… … *gets a mop and bucket to wipe the drool from other mudgeons* *sips tea* *almost spittakes at the horrible pun in panel 5*

MT: GYAHHHHH!!!!!

MW: YES! Fight! Fight! Fight! And an ineffectual Mary to boot!

MC: It’s not particularly funny… more sad… more of a very dark humour. Which reminds me of a very sad episode on the bus in the last week, where an old lady refused to get on a bus I was already on and shuffled away, yelling (as much as her lungs allowed her) racial slurs, because boarding in front of her were a group of peaceful, smiling black ladies. I was offended. Then I was glad that my first thought was to be offended. If I hadn’t had to stay on that bus, I’d have gone off to talk to that lady and explain to her that it was the same as if I pointed to her and yelled in horror “Woman!”, then tell her that no one has ever been born having chosen their gender, skin colour or geographical location, so judging by those is silly.

Wow. Ed Power, Melissa… well-done. You did a strip with powerful emotional baggage. Plus, that last panel is gorgeously illustrated, so many wonderful details and colours.

Phantom: Oh. This was just too easy for me this time. (Slightly crude, but SFW. Inspired by recent mudge conversation topics as well as the late hour.)

RMMRSA: Sadly, someone said that “a little knowledge is more dangerous than none”, because then you think you actually know something.

SlyFox: Without looking at the solution, here’s mine: Slylock will wait to see for signs of Weirdly contortioning to not release body waste, either liquid or solid, since he ate prior to having been thrown in jail. Failing that, look for clues of said waste in or near the cell. (yuck. better send Max.) **looks at real clue** If there is no body waste evacuated, there won’t be appreciable body weight loss either! My solution still stands! It just can’t be printed in a family paper…
Mibbitmaker
April 20th, 2008 at 1:26 am [Reply]

#130 (RaB): No, it’s Goofus and Goofus.
Poteet
April 20th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

SHERMAN’S LAGOON — As a conservation geek, I really appreciate what Jim Toomey has done, and he’ll get at least one letter sent because of it. Minus what would have been a very bad drawing of a shark, though.
Mibbitmaker
April 20th, 2008 at 1:48 am [Reply]

Sunday! Funday!Noneday!:

BBailey: The missing last panel contains the passionate embrace.

H&L: Trixie rehearses for FOOB. Or maybe the current RMMD.

HtH: Dr. Zook rehearses for FOOB.

MT: It’s not nice to mock an endangered species, Trail. Although you could do me a favor: MAKE IT STOP STARING AT ME!!! That’s one scary-lookin’ sumbitch!

Classic Peanuts: Lucy… How are we going to kill it?

Garfield: An example of a “screaming like Cathy while acting like a Tex Avery character penultimate panel”.
A lemur
April 20th, 2008 at 2:47 am [Reply]

Speaking as a fully grown adult male, I often take a bath to relax. A hot bath, a good book, a couple bottles of wine…sooooo sleepy….
Whuh, back to the topic at hand, I even surf the internet from the tub. As a matter of fact – I’m typing this from the bathtub even as we speak, AND, I’m even typing this from the bathtub with my pajama bottoms on…

So take that, cool kids …bwaahaahaaa.
mollificent
April 20th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

95 Jana: Sounds great! I’m really close to Hale’s, but can probably find the other place if you’d rawther (to quote Sturdivant!). I’m also a fan of Ballard, so wouldn’t mind hopping a bus over there (it’s just as easy from my house).

Anyway, if you’d like to email me at mollificent (at) hotmail, we can work out the details. Yay Mudge meet! (I’m a relatively new Mudge…only since last fall…but I’m a complete addict. :))

104 Niall: Well, if you want to tell them that their distant cousin Molly says hello, they might just remember me. Remind them I’m the totally inept girl who worked for them for awhile during the summer of ‘94. :D I seem to recall the food being pretty tasty, but it was indeed a while ago. Check it out and let me know! (The family name is Heneghan, and…uh oh, I’ve forgotten their first names. How embarrassing. I’m seeing my mom on Wednesday, so I’ll ask her.)
Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
April 20th, 2008 at 4:10 am [Reply]

#132 Brent – I know she’s 17. Most kids were 17 when they graduated at my high school, so I didn’t think anything of the age. I *do* think this is being treated like it’s her last year, though, even if it isn’t. There’s a lot of talk of her future career as a vet and Gerald not going to college. I even got the impression that she broke up with Gerald because they were going to be apart after graduating anyway.

It may not be her last year, and that’s fine if it’s not, because it doesn’t matter to my point, which was that she’s 17 and therefore should have some sort of autonomy. I don’t get either the cartoon or the commenters who are saying that April’s initial “I’ll be there in a minute” comment deserved the freak out her parents dished out. As exaggeration for comedy’s sake, it didn’t ring true.
dale
April 20th, 2008 at 5:38 am [Reply]

Slylock

Is Slylock a member of the police force?
I have always assumed not, because he is often involved in things that don’t seen like police business. OTOH he tells the cops what to do.

I don’t work at Gitmo, but if Slylock can get Count Weirdly to hold still for a weighing, I’ve got a bunch of swell ideas.

Niall is correct, of course.
Islamorada Girl
April 20th, 2008 at 7:30 am [Reply]

I look at the battlin’ brothers in MW and think “I didn’t know Paulie Walnuts had a twin.” Mary is gonna end up sleeping with the fishes.
alley (not allie) cat
April 20th, 2008 at 8:12 am [Reply]

OK so I set up my comics of choice on the Houston Chronicle build-your-comics page. Great. But they don’t seem to ever show any Sunday comics. What do people do on Sundays?
Godzooky
April 20th, 2008 at 8:18 am [Reply]

SFx: Hate to admit it, but even with Time Union’s enlarged copy of the floating astronaut scene, took me multiple scans during the past hour to finally find the difference between the panels, after excluding the last one because of the buckle. I’d like to think I’m smarter than a fifth-grader, but I’m beginning to wonder…

S-M: If the writer had any sense of how things work in the real world, MJ’s career would be getting a gigantic boost from the publicity about getting kidnapped by accused criminal/would-be governor/publishing tycoon Krandis, his lovestruck brother sacrificing his life for her, an escaped felon (Godero) arrested at the same house, and bearing witness to Spider-Man assaulting a man in his 60s. Heck, even before that, she should be getting intensely grilled by detectives, followed by reporters and paparazzi. “Access Hollywood” should be bursting through the door any minute now. Instead, we’re getting someone’s messed-up chicken order. *Sigh*

Brenda Starr: So what happened to Dorita’s mother? The dotty old woman with the heroic chompers is her grandmother and definitely doesn’t come across as Sen. Cratchet’s type. If Dorita’s mother is a big businessman’s secretary, how did Dorita and Grandma end up in the slum apartment? Hopefully, writer Mary Schmich will fill in those blanks along the way.
Niall
April 20th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

Alley cat: http://www.yo-god.com/comics/sundaycomics.htm?20080420

Bookmark, change dates every week.
True Fable
April 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am [Reply]

MT Wait, the comic strip that gives us Rusty is making fun of an eagle’s face? Pot, kettle, black.
MW Where’s Heather Avery and her Cast-Iron Skillet O’Justice when you need her?
RMMD Why does this comic suddenly make me think of Shaun of the Dead?
A3G The feeling of loss might be the idea that Luann is losing her mind by getting that close to Margo’s teeth.
BB Yeah, Beetle; watch it, the general’s getting suspicious about the two of you. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t touch.
FC But Dolly, I spilled some antifreeze in the garage and… oh dammit. I hope there’s room in the back yard cemetery for those two.
Scenes from Suburban Hell I can’t escape Foobtalk even in American suburbia.
AeroSquid
April 20th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Monty: The background of Sunday’s strip is more exciting than the joke itself. Moondog, the middle aged guy that drinks heavily and talks to his OCD addled parrot, is shown slyly leaving the bar with one of the minor female characters..in a hurry, leaving Monty and his asexual ‘gal pal’ to sit there in silence and wonder to themselves ‘WTF ? Is Moondog getting a Booty Call ?’.
David Willis
April 20th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Oh my God. Funky Winkerbean is slowly evolving into Crankshaft!
Calico
April 20th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

H & L – Trixie’s sound effects are most excellent today…especially “HORP.” Most of that healthy crap tastes like cardboard and dried leaves, so I can relate.

Nice drawing of green spew, too.
bitter law student
April 20th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

I’m at least a little impressed that someone whose main activities are gorging on pounds of lunchmeat in one sitting, family-room hibernation, and sexually ignoring his bomb-hot wife has the upper arm strength to, while soaking wet, hang from a second story window.
Calico
April 20th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

MT – Oh, look, it’s Leona Helmsley reincarnated! Run!

MW – now is the time for Mary to prove her Ju-Jitsu and Moo Gong Do skills. Take them both out now!
John C Fremont
April 20th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

# 136 (Niall) – Better get that mop and bucket ready.

# 148 (TF) – Re; RMMD. Yeah, Rex even has red on him.

MW – Those two boys are “fighting” with such passion. As the panel fades out, we hear REO Speedwagon’s “I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore.”

A3G – Lu Ann unsuccessfully tries a Winkerbeanian smirk in panel two. And in panel four – well, just look at her! Now that ought to give Gabriella a feeling of dread.

Foob – …because it was so good the first time.

PBS – What the duece?!
Kenny
April 20th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Why is Billy wearing Slouch Socks and a Purple Crew-Neck?

Family Circus? Hardly. Family Circa 1983.
Paul1963, Grammar Division of the Jungle Patrol
April 20th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

GA- That is indeed Joe Pye and sons, last seen being arrested for attempting to steal beer by digging a tunnel hundreds of yards from the basement of an abandoned house to the basement of a bar.
No, I’m not kidding.
Considering that said scheme involved their undermining a public street, causing a cave-in big enough for a police car to fall completely into the resulting hole, and unlawfully detaining an 86-year-old man with intent to press-gang him into digging with them, one would expect that Joe would be looking at serious time for a variety of crimes (at least one of which is a felony) and his sons marginally less. One would also expect that, as shady characters with criminal records and, as we see in the 4/19 strip, no fixed addresses, they would be held without bond pending trial.
But, hey, I guess you have to throw logic out the window if you want to have them show up to present yet another reason why Amanda Lynn and Sturdivant “the Chin” Kleeb should never marry.

The Bumstead kids are called Alexander and Cookie (yes, “Cookie”). I know for a fact that Alexander was named by a reader as part of a contest, after he’d been called “Baby Dumpling” for quite some time. Not sure about Cookie.

I’ve seen every episode of both South Park and Family Guy, and while I can figure out which SP Rob is referring to (although not what objectionable term Rob is using to refer to Butters), I have no idea which FG is being discussed.

FW- Shouldn’t Cory be over the whole “Screw you, you’re not my real Dad!” thing by now? Really, Funky and Holly have now been married for something like twelve years thanks to the time jump.
And as for Sunday’s FW, well, yeah, time does seem to speed up as you get older. Particularly when you age ten years over a weekend, like everyone in the strip did (okay, that’s not prime snark, fine…).

Blondie- Yeah, I’ve wondered for years why Dagwood gets in the tub without at least locking the bathroom door, let alone the front door of the house. I’ve also wondered why everyone feels so damn comfortable walking into the Bumsteads’ house uninvited–especially Elmo, who as far as I know has no legitimate reason to attach himself to Dagwood as he has.
Paul1963, Grammar Division of the Jungle Patrol
April 20th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

Oh, yeah–Jeffy’s cuffs in FC: The Keane Kids are given one pair of jeans when they’re three years old and it has to last them until they’re at least eight. Hence the cuffs–they unroll them as the kids grow. If they have the temerity to ask for pants that fit them now…

…they spend the night in The Box.
Brent
April 20th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

#142, Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell:

I was also 17 when I graduated grade 12… but I was born into the young “half” of the class (those born in September to December). April is in the other half, she will be 18 by graduation.

Teenage autonomy issues aside, what Lynn appears to be trying to pull (and has been since earlier this school year) is to make it seem like this is April’s last year (because Lynn wants this to be the comics last year). It is not… you only have to do the math from the time she entered grade nine to see that they are only in grade 11. I’m calling shenanigans on that… Lynn can’t have it both ways.
Lisa
April 20th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

(yy256. Lisa: I don’t need a valet in Ireland, thank you. But darn, many of these accomodation costs would be much lower if they were with two people instead of one. ;))

;o) Uh huh….. But seriously, why not take a friend with you? :o)
Tahleen
April 20th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

Man, since when do they serve fruit bowls and steaming dishes on silver platters to inmates?
Tempus Fugit
April 20th, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

Jeffy has obviously been recruited into the army of the 12 Monkeys and is alerting his parents to the oncoming stampede.
Mike
April 21st, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Though lots of people have already commented to this extent, I’ll emphasize the important lesson learned:

Jeff Keane is just a Steeltown girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of her life.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 21st, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

4/21

PBS: Ha. Yes, I would like to see Mary Worth try that. She’d probably use her powers to knock Ron and Richard’s heads together, which would make their story move a lot quicker.

GA: “Why, I’ve always dreamed of having an in-law with a vast college sweatshirt collection.”

S-M: Mr. Subtlety in there is lucky that the guard is only listening for volume, not content.

DT: Obviously, Cole Lector has been watching a Man United football game, which is why he shouts “UK!” while doing a victory dance. Ulq must be a new player from Morocco.

BB: That must be some primo weed that Beetle’s smoking.

WofI: The sentry has always wanted to know what thumbscrews feel like.

Shoe: Of course there’s a way you can bet on opera. You need to go back and watch a few Phil Silvers reruns to get some ideas.

Preteena: Stick misunderstands. It’s actually the men she attracts who have the c-cups.

Archie: For me, Raj makes this one. He changes location from panel to panel, but his eyes are always focused on Veronica’s rack. Verisimilitude.

RMMD: “Well as a matter of fact, I was working on the Pentagon’s corpse reanimation project. After some unfortunate setbacks, we were making progress again. But then they took away my funding, the fools!”

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