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Mark Trail: Friend to the (useful) animals

Mark Trail, 5/6/08

Ah, Andy! The best friend a guy like Mark Trail could have! And how are you repaid for your years of faithful service in note-carrying and sex prevention and the like? By being used as bait to lure cynical dognappers into range of Mark’s Fist o’ Justice. The poor dog’s even been kidnapped before, but that doesn’t stop his callous owner from subjecting him to further trauma. Sure, Mark’s “newspaper friends” have been talked into throwing aside their journalistic principles and writing a fake story to perpetrate this sting, but they’re not being asked to put their life on the line. I love that Mark is carefully explaining everything to Andy, as if the dog speaks English and this somehow counts as getting his informed consent for the operation. He might as well just be saying what he’s really thinking, which is “HA HA, THERE ARE MORE ST. BERNARDS AT THE SHELTER WHERE YOU CAME FROM, ANDY!”

Gil Thorp, 5/6/08

That’s right, Andrew, it’s time to “unleash that slider”, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. But just in case you don’t, what I mean is that you should drop your pants and expose your genitals to the batter. Here, I’m using “slider” as a double-entendre: though it’s the legitimate name of a style of pitch, it could also, with some imagination, be thought of as a nickname for a penis. Which I think you should show to the opposite team, which would be shocking and amusing. I hope we’re clear on this.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 03:24 pm and is filed under Gil Thorp, Mark Trail.

181 responses to “Mark Trail: Friend to the (useful) animals”

Jeffsterr
May 6th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Saint Bernard? I thought Andy was a Landseer Newfoundland. Now I am disappointed.
Monster Jamz
May 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

shouldn’t the catcher be covering his mouth to prevent lip-reading of “unleashing the slider”? and seeing the exclamation point at the end of “unleashing the slider” couldn’t the catcher at least have lowered his voice? here comes a towering home-run as EVERYBODY is ready for the slider. its gonna be unleashed!
bats :[
May 6th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I think Andy was always intended to be a Saint Bernard. Big deal, though — you never see him with one of those cool little brandy casks attached to his collar, do you?
Mark may be asexual, but he appears to be a drunk, too.
Cranky
May 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Ah, here’s the good and the bad of the new Gil Thorp artist in a single strip. The good: panel one looks like legitimate baseball action with excellent perspective. The bad: in panel three Andrew is entirely linear from toe-to-shoulder, like a cardboard cutout you take your picture with on a New York street corner. One with no facial features. Or genitals to expose.
gnome de blog
May 6th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

Andy’s cool with it. Getting dognapped is what he lives for. If you had to hang out in LoFo with Mark Trail and his entourage, you’d probably dream of getting dognapped, too.
NotAGoatHead
May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Andy is just toooo big. He’s probably a guy in a urine-soaked dog suit.
Uncle Lumpy
May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Mark may be asexual, but when Bill Ellis, his editor, unleashes the slider. . . .

Well, just watch out is all I’m saying.
alex matthews
May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

I am guessing that the dognappers will take the bait, although, if they were real dognappers they might think there would be a trap behind the local newspaper running a story entitled ‘Dog EXTREMELY VALUABLE to local park ranger with previous experience of busting dognappers’
gnome de blog
May 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

“Unleash the slider” has definite t-shirt potential.
Buck Ripsnort
May 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

I think my eyes may be going funny from looking at Mark Trail, but damned if Andy doesn’t look photoshopped from frame one to frame two. At least in frame two he’s obviously thinking the right thing– ‘O GAWD NOT AGAIN GET ME OUT GET ME OUUUUUUT!” Panel three may look like he’s playing w/ the human, but he trying to give his own Right Paw of Justice to the man endangering him again.
Perky Bird
May 6th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

“Catholic Central” sounds like a store that sells non-protestant religious items.

“Out of holy water? Come to Catholic Central! Did your rosary break? Come to Catholic Central! Communion wafers go stale? Come to Catholic Central!

Catholic Central, for all your devotional needs! Located at the intersection of Highway 181 and Briggs Road, in Seton. Stop in today, or you won’t have a prayer!”
xant
May 6th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

And I don’t think I need to explain to you what “Shaking off the sign” means. It means you should stop masturbating through your pants.
AhClem
May 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

MT – Mark is going to place Andy in an unlocked cage in the front yard, with a big sign that says “VALUABLE DOG. PLEASE DO NOT STEAL.”

Fortunately, the evildoers in MT are alway too stupid to see through such a clever scheme. Afterwards, Mark will remark to nobody in particular, “They needed punchin’.”
Mac
May 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

I dunno. “Unleash the slider” sounds more scatalogical than sexual.
AhClem
May 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#11 Perky Bird -
I’ve been there. I like to piss them off by standing in front of the store for hours on end and repeating, over and over, “How much is that dogma in the window?”

Hey, everyone needs a hobby.
Pozzo
May 6th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

Actually, exposing his penis might be a legitimate for the boys of Catholic Central. It might induce traumatic flashbacks to their altar boy days, giving Milford the edge they need. (I tried to work “Hail Mary” play in there somewhere, but it wasn’t worth the effort.)
bats :[
May 6th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

I responded to Godzooky’s comment about the disproportionate Andy vs. Mark head (read, Mark is a pinhead). I started looking at some images of Landseer Newfoundlands (thanks, Jeffster! I didn’t know this was a breed!), and there are some photos online where the difference between one of these critters’ heads and that of their (adult) owners is MASSIVE. I guess it is possible that Andy could appear that large without being mistaken for a grizzly…
Mister MRSA
May 6th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Tomorrow’s RMMD

Ok, no more shaking off the Doctor, it is time to unleash, that slider.
Mark
May 6th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

Poor Andy! Isn’t this the same sort of thing the Lone Ranger used to do to Tonto? But while between Tonto and the Lone Ranger “Kemosabe” meant “friend,” between Andy and Mark Trail, “Ol’ Buddy” means “Let me put you in danger of being dognapped or take advantage of some other insane way of using you to make me look like a big hero!”
Perky Bird
May 6th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

# 15 AhClem-

Hahahaha! That’s great!

And they also don’t like it when you point to their framed photos of the Pope and say, “Hey, that’s not Josh!”
Naked Bunny with a Whip
May 6th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

it’s time to “unleash that slider”

Is Andrew a Jerry O’Connell or a John Rhys-Davies?
Vakar
May 6th, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Agnes: Story of my life.

DS: Hmmm… Did I laugh because of the robot humor, or the alcohol humor? I’m falling for this strip…

MT: Oh, look at Mark’s face in the last panel. This stupid, pointless plan is tearing him up inside. “I told myself I would not cry, fellow, and yet there is evidence of it on my cheeks! Please do not tell Rusty, if you ever see him again which you probably will not.”

MW: I’ve heard better apologies from five-year-olds! At least he’s getting it off his chest, though. “Sorry my brother’s such a jerk, sorry I didn’t tell you about Dad and Aunt Mary, sorry I killed the dog, sorry for global warming. There, I think that scary lady is gone now.”

MC: Hey, new font! Kinda small, but I like it better already.

PBS: The Breakfast-Munchurian Pig.

Phantom: KANSAS SHOUTOUT! Sort of– Martin and Osa Johnson lived in Chanute, KS, and there is a museum there dedicated to their adventures. Heard it’s cool, but haven’t made it there yet.
Suburban Legend
May 6th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

22. That look of pain is Mark’s aversion to reciprocated affection. He’s alright putting Andy in a choke hold in panel 2, but when Andy tries to lick his face, there’s nothing but indignation. Further proof that Mark Trail hates all non-violent physical contact.
Old School Allie Cat
May 6th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

I agree that “unleashing a slider” is definitely scat talk. Much like “launching a 12 footer” – which I think Andrew has also done.

Scatological, sexual or scatosexual, I have to give Andrew credit for playing for two teams – by which I mean basketball and baseball.

Now, can we agree that “riding the bum boat” refers to a bodily function, whereas being “all but forced to go to the bucket” is pure hot sex?
cheech wizard
May 6th, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

23 – I thought high school pitchers were supposed to avoid throwing breaking balls, because it can permanently injure their still-developing arms. Good coaches don’t let them throw sliders or curves. But then, we’re talking Gil Thorpe here.
F Cecious Lee
May 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

I found the reason why Milford is playing so many teams that seem to be in the Binghamton, NY area lately.

http://www.section4football.com/
Vakar
May 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Today’s Crankshaft malapropism invites comparison with FBoFW’s moralizing puns. Which strip would I rather be stuck with, if I had to choose between them?

I’d have to go with FBoFW. At least it once had some charm, though it’s been coasting. Anyone else?
Revenge of Chesnut
May 6th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

The combination of the bright rays of light emitting from behind the catcher, the cloud of dust, and the seemingly frozen-in-air position of the baseball in Gil Thorp’s panel one make me think that some sort of gravity-interfering UFO-landing is happening on the other side of the backstop. Or it’s just a horrifying view of the imminent metaphorical and literal destruction of the American Way of Life by a nuclear bomb. But then I remember that this is MILFORD, and neither alien invaders nor communist/terrorist types would bother targeting it.
Nekrotzar
May 6th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

#14, #24 – basically we’re talking about a spit ball, with one letter changed.
Dr. Weird
May 6th, 2008 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

When I hear “slider” I think of White Castle’s small hamburgers. So all this talk about baseball and genitals is confusing and upsetting to me!
UnknownEric
May 6th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

GT: “I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, Andrew. OPENED UP MY EYES. Stop shaking it off!”
Hank
May 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

RE: 26, Gil Thorp, F Cecious Lee. According that article, the Binghamton area schools are popping up in Gil Thorp because the letterer is inserting them into the story. Not the writer. The letterer. Damn. The fact that the letterer can just change story elements on a whim after the plot and art have been completed may be the single best explanation for why this strip makes as little sense as it does.
Aaron Golas
May 6th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

What hurts the most is, Mark would never think to write an article about how much he appreciates Andy just for the hell of it. It doesn’t count if you only say it on special occasions, Mark! *sob*
NotAGoatHead
May 6th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

#11 They also can have their own theme song…

http://www.turoks.net/Cabana/VaticanRag.htm
Nate
May 6th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Milford’s catcher seems to have a bad case of Penguin-hand. That’s probably why he makes such a good catcher.
Diamond Joe
May 6th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

Yesterday’s snark, still for sale, only with the rotten bits carefully cut out:

BabBl: First Rex Morgan, now this. Is it National Underwear Week?

Boffo: “Does Anyone Edit These at All?” #1: I’m guessing he meant “alternatives to the Internet.”

GA: “And if that doesn’t work, we’ll steal their dog!”

GaBI: Cripes, if he opens his mouth that much just to talk, what does he do when he yells, swallow his own head?

Heathcliff: I know the joke is on getting a lollipop at the dentist’s, but I’m trying to figure out what you do at the county jail to get a lollipop. Or what Heathcliff was even doing at the county jail.

Lockhorns: No. No, it doesn’t. But thanks all the same for trying to desensitize us to government-sponsored torture.

Momma: “Does Anyone Edit These at All?” #2: That’s “gerontologists” or “geriatricians.”

PMP: “What I don’t love is that his hands scrape the ground, and his legs are six inches long.”

6C: The title panel says “legs,” but I’m thinking that’s not all she’s talking about in the last panel.

Tank: So when a baseball comes his way, he starts seeing rivals for the catch who are clearly not there?

Amused me: Close to Home
Paul1963
May 6th, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

GA: “Shucks, we wrecked a public street an’ kidnapped a senior cit’zen while diggin’ a tunnel to steal beer an’ din’t git naught but a slap on th’ wrist. Whut could they possibly do to us fer kidnappin’ a millionaire’s son durin’ his own weddin’ in front o’ a room fulla witnesses?”

The Phantom, yesterday: Holy shit, he’s actually wearing a sport coat and tie and going bareheaded! And driving a BMW, yet! And apparently has some kind of I.D., too. Wow. You’d think the strip was actually set in the 21st century or something.
loudlikeamouse
May 6th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

Doesn’t anybody understand? The reason Mark Trail is explaining this is because this is the first time Andy has been asked to do something like this–because this is actually the seventeenth “Andy” Mark Trail has adopted. He in fact uses them as disposable decoys, all bearing the same name and the same luckless fate.
Islamorada Girl
May 6th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

People who live on the Atlantic coastal plain will also know that a slider is a raw oyster, because you tip the shell up to your mouth and let it slide in. Not that it makes it any better, although the idea of Andrew Gregory getting really sick from eating bad shellfish is appealing. Death! Death to Gil Thorp. Thank you.
Donald The Anarchist
May 6th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

MT I’m just worried about the article Mark’s going to write to ensnare that twisted ring of dog sodomizers. “If Andy Could Cook, She’d Be Gone In a Heartbeat”

(DT)GT It’s already been noted that not using the breaking ball is usually the coach’s idea. In reality, the hardest thing to do is to get the pitcher to REFRAIN from using what they see as their best pitch.

Plus I get the disturbing feeling that “Catholic Central” is the name of the ‘voluntary’ facility all the Catholics in Milford have been moved into. There’s also “Jew Central,” “Mormon Central” and “Jehovah’s Witness Central.” They aren’t planning anything nefarious; they’ll just trade with places like New York, Maryland, and Utah for as many white Protestants as you can shake a stick at. In the meantime, they let the inmates errrr guests compete in intramural activities, just to show they aren’t REALLY prisoners…
Hugin
May 6th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

MRSA, MD: Junior high school wrestling? How can Rex NOT investigate that more closely?

GT: Big stumble by the new artist. While I appreciate the random rays of light in panel 1, that scene is far too recognizable as an actual baseball play. The runner should really be sliding somewhere into right field while the catcher tries to tag out the third base coach. Now that would be real GT baseball action.

‘Shaft: Why even bother to ask him his opinion when you know you’ll just get a curmudgeonly response?
teegee
May 6th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

MT: Panel 2 is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen … Andy is trying to push the “Jack Elrod” button on the pole, which he’s been promised will transport him to a strip in the Alps where he gets to bring brandy to avalanche victims every day. Mark, summoning every ounce of strength, ensures that he’ll instead be sitting under a giant box propped up by a stick with a string tied to it, wearing a “Valuable Dog” sign.
IanB
May 6th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Andy seems like he *has* to be a Newfoundland to me. Unlike some of the other comics we read here, the artist for Mark Trail is pretty diligent about his drawing, at least when it comes to wildlife and animals. It would be pretty out of character, I think, for him to be drawing a St. Bernard as a Newfie.

If he is intended to be a St. Bernard, the fault could lie with the coloring? I know for a lot of strips the artist has little to no input into how that is done.
JB
May 6th, 2008 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Seton Catholic Central. Seem a bit overly-specific?

Nah. Otherwise, you’d think maybe the Milford MILFs were playing Seton Catholic North. Or East. Or West. South? Nah, they’re a small school, in a different league.
Little Guy
May 6th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

45/MT: A bit overdone, but I’ve known Catholic HIgh Schools with the ‘Central’ in the middle of the mix of the name, even if they were known colloquially as ‘Milford Catholic’ or so.

Betcha the school is “Mother Seton Catholic Central High School” or “St Elizabeth Seton Catholic Centra Academy’. But the ‘Saints’? More appropriate would be the ‘KnuckleSmackers’.
gnome de blog
May 6th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT:Anybody ever research all the teams in the Central Conference, or whatever league the Mudlarks belong to? It would be interesting for its own sake – insofar as anything in MIlford is interesting – but also to see if those Binghamtonites are bent or revising the canonical texts.

(EST)MT: Last time Andy got dognapped, he had to save the day all by hisself by rasslin’ a ‘gator while Pervis Hillbilly had his aught-6 trained on Mark’s nipple-less torso.
cheech wizard
May 6th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

40/Donald – “Catholic Central” is the base of the papist conspiracy that’s located in every small town in the Midwest. The basement is typically packed with radio gear, from which teams of monks in hooded robes beam out Latin chants into the ether, electromagnetically draining the vitality of clean white Protestant youth everywhere. Meanwhile, the senior priest and a cadre of carefully chosen nuns work together to rigorously train young Catholic girls in the dark arts of seduction, expertly bringing Protestant boys to the peak of sexual frenzy while denying them the fruits of passion until safely ensconced in a Roman marriage where their lusts will produce babies for the Pope. The Jews would spill the beans on the whole operation if they weren’t making so much dough selling them candles, incense and vestments.

At least that’s what I heard growing up. Then again, the whole town was run by the Klan up until 1937 or so, so you might take it with a grain of salt.
gnome de blog
May 6th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

45 Little Guy

Here in Portland, there actually is a Central Catholic High School (there’s also a Valley Catholic and a North Catholic, not to mention a Jesuit and a St. Mary’s and possibly others).

Detroit ‘Mudges will be pleased to know that Joey Harrington received his secondary education at Central Catholic.
bats :[
May 6th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

Wow, even if you didn’t get hammered on Cinco de Mayo, here’s another reason to celebrate: True Fable made it, once again, onto the pixelated pages of Coffee Stalk, this time taking the Creatrix to task for her cdouble-standard on Who’s Allowed to Ignore Family Members While Working at the Computers vs. Who Is Not. A nice observation, True!
Islamorada Girl
May 6th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Y’know, it would be really cool if Mark Trail were somehow able to substitute Molly the Bear for Andy when the dognappers strike. But this is Mark Trail where nothing cool ever happens, so we’ll all have to sit around for two months waiting for the Right Hook O’ Justice to relieve the tedium.
SonofDondi
May 6th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Those last ten years have been brutal on poor Funky – he is now virtually indistinguishable from Harry S. Dinkle, who is supposed to be at least twenty years his senior.

p.s. I graduated from Catholic Central in Troy, New York. Go Crusaders!
commodorejohn
May 6th, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

#86 Vakar (yesterthread) – As much as I loathe the execrable Argyle Sweater for its myriad crimes against the legacy of Gary Larson and against humor in general, I can say one nice thing about it: it uses halftone well, and achieves a better sense of shape by its use.

THAT IS IT. THE REST OF IT IS WORTHLESS, SHAMEFUL DRECK.
odinthor
May 6th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

GT — As usual, a tour de force psycho-metaphorical offering from the Gil Thorp clinic:

Panel 1. Catcher-dude, despite his layers of emotional insulation, cannot escape his violently oncoming feelings of attraction to males. His own balls are in his gloved hand, so to speak, but the uncontrollable feelings of others seeking the “home plate” which he protects collide with him violently.

Panel 2. Removing his “mask,” he asks The Authority (i.e., God), for time, knowing full well that “time waits for no man.” In effect, then, asking for time is self-emasculation. Silently, The Authority looks on; “silence is acquiescence” to catcher-dude’s progress in his voyage of self-discovery.

Panel 3. “Ecce homo,” says catcher-dude, as the shadows lengthen in the daytime of his life. Andrew (the very name “Andrew” meaning “manhood”), shocked and expressionless, hears the confession of his catcher as he lays aside his traditional manhood. For Andrew, as well as for his catcher friend, this truly is a crux decussata in their lives. They stand, the two of them together but alone in their togetherness, seemingly astride a globe, the circle of being, the cycle of life and existence, even The Authority out of the picture for the moment as they contemplate this existential challenge. Truly, it is time to “unleash that slider” for the sake of both of them. Thus does Gil Thorp once again successfully plumb the very depths of being.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
May 6th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

I want to know what “shake off the sign” is a euphemism for. The mind reels, and not in a good way.

Meanwhile, sweet jebus, is Andy’s read really twice as big as Mark’s? This is why I am a cat person.

Finally, re: coloring, it’s been my observation that the weekday colorists on Mark Trail (and most strips) are strictly third-string yokels, consistently making odd choices and mistakes. This is especially noticeable in Mark Trail, where Elrod draws exquisitely rendered lady ducks named “Shirley” and the colorists turn them into males with just a dab of green ink.
dale
May 6th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail
How much writing help does Mark need? I thought he was supposed to be a writer. Getting his dreck published could be a challenge.

this reminds me – somebody has to look at the Public Health service writing examples I posted at 13 under Wait, what? on 5/5.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
May 6th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

yarg!

“Andy’s head”

not “read”
Gold-Digging Nanny
May 6th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Today’s Six Differences

1) The boy in panel one has invented a technology he calls the LakeJack. It allows him to prop up one end of a lake so all the fish fall down to the bottom end and are easier to catch.
2) The boy in panel two will accidentally pick up the worm can instead of his drink bottle, and will find it rather difficult to get much liquid out of his straw.
3) The creature in the log in panel one is hiding from the bears. The creature in the log in panel two is afraid of worms.
4) The boy in panel one got toe socks for his birthday. They have five toes each, and only draw attention to his deformity. He cried for days.
5) In panel two, having a hook that was stuck through his lip rip through the cartilage and flesh of his mouth from the sheer force of backward momentum was absolutely excruciating for the fish. I’ll bet Mr. Trout didn’t like it at all.
6) The bears in panel one sometimes steal pic-a-nic baskets. The bears in panel two pledge allegiance to Satan.

This episode of I Found All Six has been brought to you by Campbells, the company whose soup cans are perfect for worms.
CHA5NCE
May 6th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Instead of hatching and enacting this elaborate plan to get the puppy back so they can save the little girl, couldn’t Mark…or anyone…just take her to the doctor? I’m not sure we should be relying solely on this puppy cure.
Miss Hap
May 6th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

JP – So, I’m guessing Steve is a serial killer who lures women into his home with false promises of meeting his mother, thus making him the most pathetic serial killer in history.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 6th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

#54 Bunnë, OCE— A catcher calls for a particular pitch using hand signals. If the pitcher does not want to throw that pitch, he shakes his head, thus “shaking off the pitch”. This is not to be confused with Zane’s escape from Bernice in “Luann”, which is known as “shaking off the bitch”.
Mr. Nice Guy
May 6th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: I look at Andy and I think: those dognappers are gonna need a bigger truck.
SecretMargo
May 6th, 2008 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

Vakar from last thread: I replied to your desperate query from last thread here (I’ve been spared the Argyle Sweater Experience, but there’s some stuff about the others).
Enjoy?
Saluki
May 6th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

I think we all know what Andy is thinking: “Sausage! Sausages! Sausage!”
gleeb
May 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

All I can think of is the old song “Big Long Slidin’ Thing”.
Gold-Digging Nanny
May 6th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Sunday Six Differences

1) “Quiz time” is the panel one teacher’s favorite phrase. Some days she gives the kids quizzes from Cosmo just to give herself an excuse to say it.
2) The sleeping kid in panel two is taking his sartorial cues from Reeky Rat.
3) The boy on the left in panel one has spent his entire youth in search of a pair of left-handed nunchucks.
4) The other kids beat up the boy on the left in panel one because of the way he holds up his pinkie when he writes strikes them as effete. “It strikes me as effete,” they say to each other on the playground. The other kids beat up the boy on the left in panel two because they don’t like his face. If you could see his face, you wouldn’t like it either.
5) The girl in panel two is crestfallen because the boy she likes just passed back a note with the “no” box checked below her question, “Will you be my ‘It’s Complicated’ on Facebook?”
6) When she’s in a bad mood, the teacher in panel two punishes the pink-haired boy by making him lick her blackboard clean.

This episode of I Found All Six has been brought to you by Hearst Communications.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
May 6th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Congrats to the COTWers!

Perhaps I missed it being mentioned here before, but I discovered today that Piraro, creator of Bizarro, has a blog. Fun fact: He uses secret symbols in his comic. Today, there is a stick of dynamite, an eye, and a piece of pie.
Crunchbird
May 6th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Isn’t there always a stick of dynamite and a piece of pie? I just assumed that was his “Nina” . . .

I’m still reeling from the that article’s revelation that Gil Thorp even has a letterer. I can barely even look at the strip any more because they’ve replaced all the text with straight-up Comic Sans, and now I find out that they’re actually paying someone to commit such atrocities? Truly astonishing.
t007
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

#11…uhm..my high school was named “Central Catholic”. See, comics DO imitate life!
Sans Sense
May 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Three words about three comics:

RMMD: Wrestling, Sweating, MRSA!
MT: Mark Dicks Andy.
DT to A3G: Dab is Alan.
Islamorada Girl
May 6th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

MT Andy has been dognapped about three times in the past two years. Isn’t it time for Elrod to buy a new plot? Seriously, that dog has spent more time being held hostage than Patty Hearst and Terry Waite combined.
Saluki
May 6th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

#70 # Islamorada Girl: I’ll be impressed if Andy starts robbing banks but you know he’ll just stick up the butcher shops.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
May 6th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

Big dogs like Andy don’t tend to live very long. 7 years is really old for a large breed. Of course, that’s 49 in dog years. And 500 in serial comics years.

It’s not just that they’re traped in 1950’s social mores, it’s that they’re that far behind, and falling back ever further with their glacial passage of time.
Burning Prairie
May 6th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

A3G-Margo is seemingly happy about Alan’s extreme lateness, doesn’t bother her in the least. What does bother her-the mere suggestion that she call Alan to find out why. For all she knows, Alan could be lying in pool of his blood because Jonesy found out his little side business, Alan could be the unfortunate victim of a quality-control mishap, but we don’t know. BECAUSE WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE, ALAN’S NANNY!!!!
Ace Diamond
May 6th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

“Unleash the Slider” sounds like he’s going to force-feed the other team tiny burgers from White Castle until they have to forfeit due to explosive diarrhea.
Sorako-chan
May 6th, 2008 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

Mark, mark, mark. These are bad guys. For all you know, they have facial hair. They probably don’t know what ‘dem darn fancy noospapers is, least of all be able to read one.
Sorako-chan
May 6th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised you didn’t catch this in the Gil Thorp, Josh, but in the third panel, Andrew’s chest looks disturbingly… flat. From this angle, he could be wearing a new pitcher’s vest that comes to a lethal point about 6 inches away from his body. Or, it could just be that he’s replaced himself with CardBoard Andrew while he goes off to “unleash his slider” somewhere private.
AeroSquid
May 6th, 2008 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

MT: Andy’s Last Dance

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2309/2472735256_d363ec8d45_o.png
Jnny
May 6th, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

Argh! Another woman in underwear in today’s Baby Blues. Who’s next to be depicted in her skivvies? Momma?
bats :[
May 6th, 2008 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

77. AeroSquid: Flemish dog testicle thieves, eh…who knew?
Smaug
May 6th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Re: Curtis

I get it — Chutney’s pregnant!
AeroSquid
May 6th, 2008 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

79: bats :[ Damnable Flemish !
True Fable
May 6th, 2008 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

#49 bats :[ – Thank you for the mention, sweet darlin’! If I can’t cut the COTW, I at least made the Coffee Squawk, which has low standards via identification with its host. COTW is for prime blue-ribbon material from an already stellar base.

I’m going to nibble and chip at that comic for all I’m worth until it leaves the comics page for good, becomes a 404 on the ‘Net, or I win a Coffee Bean mug so I can use it to dip water out of my aquarium when I go to clean it.

Bwahahaha!
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
May 6th, 2008 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

At least Catholic Central isn’t the usual mouthful that most parochial high schools are — mine was Saint Louise de Marillac School for Girls. And there are some that are even more complex, like Holy Mary Mother of God High School, Oh For Christ’s Sake Middle School, and of course, the Church of Perpetual Responsibilty Elementary School, located in Lake Wobegon.
cheech wizard
May 6th, 2008 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

FW – So Harry Dinkle sees the reflection of his former self in the trophy case glass. Maybe Les will see his WWII-era machine gun bolted to the counter in his reflection in the pizza shop window. Better yet, maybe we’ll see Mr. Pathologically Depressed Widower go Falling Down beserk and hose down the customers with a 7.62 mm belt fed automatic rifle. After the doldrums of recent months, that would at least nudge the FW fatality rate back up toward normal.
bats :[
May 6th, 2008 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

83. Anna Nimity: the Benedictine Sanctuary that’s just down the street from us (no kidding!) is regularly referred to by us as Our Lady of Perpetual Motion.

We are so going to hell…
True Fable
May 7th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

#85 bats :[ – That’s what we sometimes call our parish church, as well as Our Lady of Perpetual Indebtedness and Our Lady of Perpetual Anxiety.

We’ll go to hell together. Link arms and let’s set out. :-)
True Fable
May 7th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) Today Cathy is being a bitch, but an observation like that is like putting a tuxedo on a cat. No real need, but I had to see it for myself.
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
May 7th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

In high school we had nicknames for the nuns, too. Of course, they were all “Sister Mary..” something.

We had Sister Mary Party Shoes, for her shiny black patent leather shoes, Sister Mary Nubs, because by the end of each day she had a five-o’clock shadow, and our music teacher — SIster Mary Cecile. She had a lisp, so we called her Thithter Thethile.

Yep, we’re on the Hell Express, non-stop.
True Fable
May 7th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

PreT Check out both girls’ eyes in panels one and two and tell me if this isn’t some sort of way-cool Two Differences salute to Bob Weber Jr. If that’s what it is, then I’m REALLY gonna be sorry to see PreTeena come to a close.
9CL Misunderstandings, and Wacky Hilarity is sure to ensue. Yep, any day now. Annnnny Daaaay. Uh huh. *drums fingers* Soon.
Luann Careful, Knute. You’ll lose your Patented Doper License and will have to apply for the Official Idiot Savant License for the comic.
Vakar
May 7th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

52 commodorejohn, 62 SecretMargo, and 92 queek from yesterthread:

About what I figured. I must say, SM, you would have to be a much more patient person than I, if you were able to get a sense of character out of Ballard Street! But then again, I’m judging a decade-old daily comic by reading two weeks of it. That doesn’t sound patient to me, but I considered dumping it after one day. That didn’t seem fair.

Of all the things that I don’t like about Dinette Set, I can’t get over how the characters’ heads gross me out. I can’t figure out why, but there it is. Maybe it’s actually drawn by Dab Stract.
Poteet
May 7th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

5/7 RMMD — BWAHAHA! Rex looks adorable in that last panel. No one pouts prettier than him.

JP — Must be sweeps month!

9CL — Why do I have the feeling that Brooke is actually describing his wonderful self?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
May 7th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

GT: Marty Moon with inky black beard… Caine from Kung Fu… Whigham’s best use yet of the alien claw… and that’s just Panel 1! Whigham’s tanned, rested, and ready, folks. He’s fit as a fiddle and ready for love. He’s cookin’ with gas!

And I? I, friends, am giddy for Gil Thorp!
bats :[
May 7th, 2008 at 1:46 am [Reply]

Humpday Funnies!

DtM: “We shoulda just stuck to smoking all of Dad’s stash and ignored the munchies…”

FC: “No, Dolly, we want you to have a mouse. It increases the chances of you contracting the plague, or hantavirus, something we all pray for.”
What’s with the past couple of days of drugged-out expressions?

JP: ALL RIGHT! Action! WOOO!
(I’ll wait until other folks read the strip to ask about details in the second panel…)

MW: it might just be the grief, but Richard seems to be morphing into a classic Dick Tracy bad guy…Dried Plum Face, perhaps.

RMMD: hoorah, time to fight fire with fire! Or ampecillin, or somthing…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2473139146/sizes/o/
A New Day
May 7th, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

This whole Mark Trail storyline is starting to sound a lot like a bad e-mail forward.
“This is a true story. A little girl is very sad because her father ran away and her puppy was stolen. She was a good little girl who only left her dog alone outside for an hour. Forward this e-mail to 15 people or someone will kidnap your dog too.”
Diamond Joe
May 7th, 2008 at 1:56 am [Reply]

A3-G: Alan’s slept with the lights on ever since he saw the “Zuni warrior doll” segment of Trilogy of Terror on TV one night.

Archie: Actually, Svenson’s not doing so badly if he can run while carrying a ladder and a bucket full of tools. Also, that’s got to be about the lowest-cut vest I’ve ever seen.

Miss Buxley Wednesday! : So what are the rest of us, ghosted products of God’s studio artists?

CtH: I’m guessing “Mindies” is pronounced with a short “i,” but it amuses me to think of it with a long “i,” indicating a family with psi powers.

DT: Although Dab Stract killed Cole Lector himself, he knows how angry Dick can get when he doesn’t get his daily legally-sanctioned homicide in. That’s why, in the first panel, he’s defending himself against the possibility that Dick is just pretending to be friendly in order to deliver a surprise punch in the nuts.

Doonesbury: It’s nice to see Trudeau and/or his minions aren’t simply cutting and pasting the non-character bits, but would it kill them to have some consistency in the details from panel to panel?

JP: Where do you even buy flesh-colored duct tape?

LC: “Also, I’m reducing my carbon footprint by recycling last Saturday’s Lockhorns.”

Luann: “And besides, orientation is something you’re born with. Wait, that is what you’re talking about, right?”

Momma: “I’m not worried. She told me she’s being ‘careful’ careful.”

Monty: He doesn’t have plumbing in his poolhouse?

Popeye: I’d like to know how we got from the second panel to the third.

Preteena: Stick makes kind of a cute Bo Peep. But it looks like her soul was possessed or something between panels 1 and 2.

RMRSA: “Damn! Does that mean no kiss? And just when I got all ready!”

S-M: “Can you believe this woman, Mr. Headboard?”

StF: Somehow, this is not a strip I pictured furthering Rex Morgan’s Male Nipple Revolution.

SB: See, because liberals listen to NPR! Ha ha!

Ziggy: It does not surprise me in the slightest to learn that Ziggy is a morose drunk.

Amused me: Bizarro, Cathy (!), One Big Happy, PBS, Quigmans
SecretMargo
May 7th, 2008 at 1:58 am [Reply]

90: Poteet: Brooke is someone I imagine spending much of his free time constructing elaborate eulogies to himself that he’s sure his friends, acquaintances and simply embarassingly devoted fans will compose for his funeral and that he imagines himself overhearing before making his triumphant, tearful return to inform them all that it’s just been a terrible, terrible misunderstanding but that he’s not only fine but truly touched to overhear the esteem with he could scarcely have dreamt himself to have been held all this time as he toiled on his humble little doodles.

And: you’re so right about the pout. Rexée Zellweger at his best.
bats :[
May 7th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

88. Anna Nimity: OTOH, it’s kind of cool that your music teacher was Sister Cecile, since St. Cecilia is the patron saint of music.
(Do I get points for knowing that? At least a potty stop on the way to hell?)
MsBerry
May 7th, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Gasoline Alley – I’ve seen Deliverance, I know what the code of the hills is. Is it so wrong for me to hope that Mr Fancypants gets his cheating butt violated by hillbilly bums in a full-color Sunday spread?

If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Mr. O'Malley
May 7th, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

SlyFo: I know, I know! … the fox!

Pluggers: Judge Owl is a new one for me. The menagerie is expanding. How could a Plugger get a speeding ticket in those beat-up gas-guzzling pollution-spewing clunkers they all drive?

A-3G: What’s Alan so upset about? His one and only customer is here. Has he already consumed all of his wares?

JP: I’ve managed to obtain an advance copy of this strip for Oct. 18, 2008. I’ll summarize:

Later that afternoon:

Biff Dickens does a barrel roll over the house, dropping a crate of pot through the roof, clonking terrorist girl on the noggin. Abbey’s horse has been upset by the noise of the plane and he takes off, galloping in through the front door, grabbing grandma in his teeth and dropping her in a pond, which disarms her bomb. Steve goes in to the office and in 25 minutes obtains a pardon for Elvira and Biff under the Clonking Terrorists On The Noggin Act (CTOTNA). When Sam explains to the new clients why Steve can’t come to the phone right now, they generously donate a solar panel to cover the hole in the roof. Biff donates some indoor lighting fixtures he happens not to need any more. But the new powerful solar-powered lighting reveals grandma has been skimping on domestic maintenance. Abbey and Gloria volunteer to repaint the interior of Steve’s house, Abbey providing the painting outfits. Marie finishes reading her novel.

FBOFW: I have to be honest, I find this kind of funny today. But the best one is 6C.

Doonesbury: You’re right, Diamond Joe. Find the six differences between the corkboard, the sofa and the cushion!
Samira, daughter of Abul Hakim!
May 7th, 2008 at 2:14 am [Reply]

Judge Parker — “Mffff!”

Yeah, bitch — deal!
Sarah
May 7th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Heaven! I’m in Heaven! PBS this week has been completely awesome!

Not htat it isn’t usually pretty great, but this series is second only to any PBS strip w/Zebra’s kitty in it.
lostsynapse
May 7th, 2008 at 2:48 am [Reply]

Garfield minus Garfield: Daisy Edition anyone??
Mrs. Buck Tuddrussell
May 7th, 2008 at 3:28 am [Reply]

#95 SecretMargo sez: “as he toiled on his humble little doodles”

I swore that sentence contained the word “toilet” and “doodies” and I chuckled quietly to myself. The real sentence is much better, but I’m emotionally 12 years old and cannot resist the lure of a good potty joke.

Judge Parker: JP has lulled me into a boredom coma for so long that I honestly did not see this coming.
Lord-z
May 7th, 2008 at 4:17 am [Reply]

Aw, Marty turned into Mirror-Spock. I honestly preferred Martin L’Moon, captain of his majesty Louis XVI’s royal musketeer battalion.
Hobbes Fan
May 7th, 2008 at 5:44 am [Reply]

MT: So, how many characters in the current storyline are named “Bill” anyway?
Ham Gravy
May 7th, 2008 at 7:33 am [Reply]

FW: Becky, what kind of a question is that to ask of Harry Dinkle, inventor of the ‘rusty trombone’?!
gleeb
May 7th, 2008 at 7:34 am [Reply]

A3G: The colorist of this strip would have us believe Alan uses his shirt as his pillowcase. How Bohemian!

Dick: “Dab Stract, my friend, turn away from me, will ya, pizza-face?”

‘bean: Weird. I mentioned “Big Long Slidin’ Thing” earlier. It’s about a woman longing for the return of her trombone-playing man. Becky, you old dog!

H&L: Trixie knows credit card numbers?

Steve Shannon, Lawyer-Adventurer!: New job, new client, new murderous enemy. Now that’s what I call a full day!

Zippy: So, first the pinheads hold Lippy against his will, and now they’re happily waving good-bye? You know, that’s just poor writing.
Little Guy
May 7th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Brenda Starr: Flashback time with Basil St. John, he of the eyepatch-and-holding-of-the-orchid-in-front-of-his-face-whilst-talking-about-serum fame.They had a kid that got SORAsed to a teen, correct?

PBS: There’s so much WIN you’d think that it was Ford-era slogan.
AhClem
May 7th, 2008 at 8:10 am [Reply]

GT – Mark Trail, standing in the dugout in panel 3, is proud of the pitching prowess of his dog, Andy. But what kind of weird rift in the space-time continuum of the Thorpiverse gave him such a tiny, tiny head?
TheCasey
May 7th, 2008 at 8:34 am [Reply]

FW – “Can I play trombone? Can I play trombone? I’m Harry Got-Dammed Dinkle, bitch!

JP – I totally agree with Mrs. Buck (103) here. Completely off-guard.

Pluggers – Well, now we know what the Tootsie Pop Owl has been up to for the past 20 years.

Ziggy – Yes, but everyone else isn’t a gormless lump with no hope of ever having anyone to share a glass of wine with.

Also, 93 – AND, good one! Made me laugh.
One-eyed Wolfdog
May 7th, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

Once again, I’m really liking the Heart of the City story. Tatulli’s responsible for a disproportionate share of what’s good in the funny pages these days.
Mel
May 7th, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

Ted Key creator of Hazel and “Mr. Peabody and Sherman” has died (who knew?).

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/06/arts/design/06key.html?ref=design
Annie
May 7th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

Nah, folks, Seton Catholic Central is the actual name of the school . . . which happens to be in Binghamton, NY. So the Southern Tier is getting an extra shout out ;).
Mel
May 7th, 2008 at 8:45 am [Reply]

112 My “(who knew?)” was misplaced — meant “who knew he created Hazel AND Mr. Peabody and Sherman” not “who new he had died.”

Preview/Post are indeed cruel mistresses.
Mel
May 7th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

112, 114 Sigh, and sorry for the redundant news — didn’t check back in the posts far enough.

Back under my rock.
Weaselboy
May 7th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

Spiderman – Hey, Peter, if MJ’s being tough on you, why don’t you make a waterboarding joke? Everyone else seems to be doing it these days.
AeroSquid
May 7th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

FW: Can I play the trombone ? Heh. Can’t you, Becky ? No ? Did’nt think so. Pull my finger.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 7th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

And now, it’s time for Stoner Comics!

A3G: “Someone’s running up the stairs!”
If you think it’s Luann come to check on Alan, turn to page 26.
If you think it’s Haley looking to score drugs, turn to page 14.
If you think it’s Jones coming to shut down Alan’s side business, turn to page 43.
If you think it’s Jughead’s coach masturbating, turn to professional help. Seriously.

BB: The Walkers just wanted an excuse to draw Buxley bending over. Not that I’m complaining, mind.

DtM: Man, Dennis and Joey must have gotten hold of some fierce weed.

FC: Actually, you can. (Don’t worry, it’s SFW, you pervs.)

thorps. Whoops, I got my Kevin Smith characters mixed up. I meant to say that new Marty Moon is Dante Hicks. I think it would be great if they had to call off a baseball game because Coach Kaz only brought one ball.

And is that supposed to be Coach Thorp and Coach Kaz in the dugout in panel 3? Looks like a Russian progressivist woodcut. Nice halo on Gil, too.

HotC: Okay, now that we know the Jonas Brothers plotline is all a stupid dream sequence, it can end now. So end already. END! END DAMN YOU!!!

H&J: Geez, Jamaal, you can’t let Herb be the top just once? I know he’s big, but if you smoke a little ganj and relax, it’ll be fine.

JP: See? This is why our troops have to stay in the Middle East, so the terrorists don’t follow them home. Let that be a lesson to you, progressive poopyheads!

Luann: Speaking of Kevin Smith characters, who knew Jay was still in high school?

MW: Geez, these two are shriveling up like apple dolls.

PBS: Win.

RMMRSA: That’s Rex’s “Oooooh, burned!” face.

SFx: Weber must have borrowed the giant animals from the Jackel Rod Menagerie.
John C Fremont
May 7th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

GT – In Marty Moon’s absence, Mitch Miller covers the play-by-play. Meanwhile, Hawkins apparently flips off Hughs, and the guy that might be Coach Kaz reminds the guy that might be Gil Thorp that “I’m up here, not down there!”

SFx – Oh great! First Mary Worth’s Ron and Richard have exchanged clothing colors, and now I find out that rabbits aren’t rodents. What am I to believe in now?!

Foob – Huh. A Patterson is talking, but his mouth isn’t gaping open. But in that last panel, why does John’s mouth look like that of Muppet Labs’ own Beaker?

JP – Steve’s mom is Ben Blue?
NotAGoatHead
May 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

What I really like about PBS is that it’s pre-curmugeoned.
smacky
May 7th, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

JP: OK, let’s ignore all the “terrorist daughter stalked me to America and wired my mother with explosives” for a moment.

My question is: Mama Shannon, what is on your head? Green ski cap? Green shower cap? Green hair? WTF?
nightcrawler666
May 7th, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

I don’t know with as badly drawn as Gil Thorp is, do you really want to see what their genitals would look like?
AtomicDog
May 7th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Popeye – Olive, that’s not how you use a Glory Hole.
TheCasey
May 7th, 2008 at 9:39 am [Reply]

118 – Speaking of The Spectacular Spider-Brick speaking of Kevin Smith characters, he isn’t. He just gets really high and wanders in sometimes, and nobody kicks him out because he never really graduated.
AtomicDog
May 7th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

# 88 Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol: So how did Sister Mary Elephant get her name?
Old School Allie Cat
May 7th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – Thanks, Batuik. I wasn’t feeling nearly bleak enough about my future responsibilities to Mom and Dad til your strip today. Asshat.

Mutts – Patrick McDonnell understands that they’re called the “funnies” for a reason.

PBS – Another winner.
Skeltometer
May 7th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Go ahead and put Bill Hawkins on the 15-day DL for the injuries he no doubt sustained in that dreadful slide home.
commodorejohn
May 7th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

Crankshaft – FOR FUCK’S SAKE JUST LEAVE THE POOR WOMAN ALONE ALREADY

DT – Tracy? You feeling okay?

FC – Actually, Dolly, yes you can.

FW – “Because I can’t. You know, one arm.”

GA – Great. Way to take a potentially interesting turn of events and ignore its potential. Nice job, Gasoline Alley.

GT – “Another slider from Gregory, and it’s grounded to second!”

H&L – You are encouraged to use your imaginations to decide what Trixie has just purchased for her parents.

JP – Ooh! If there’s one thing this strip needs, it’s a femme fatale!

Luann – Yeah, don’t bother, Gunther. You’re going to be ritually killing her anyway.

Marmaduke – If there’s one thing I really didn’t want to see today, it’s Marmaduke making bedroom eyes at his oblivious owner-lady. Thanks a lot, Brad Andersen.

Momma – MUST…NOT…PICTURE…

NS – Stupid non-joke aside, Superman already does this.

PBS – This just keeps getting funnier.

Pluggers – Pluggers are a danger to themselves and everyone around them.

Ziggy – My brain is going to break.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 7th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

5/7

MT: It’s too bad Mark has to risk losing Andy. And the dognappers are already planning to call about the ransom. If only there were some form of technology that allowed you to ID suspicious callers, maybe some service you could get on your own phone. Ah, that’s just a pipe dream.

MC: Ashley went and found some human WW1 paraphernalia. Impressive.

OBH: Ruthie will appear in the video as America’s Littlest Hassidic Rabbi.

A3G: Who’s breaking into Alan’s apartment? My money is on Amy Winehouse.

DtM: Now for the Ex-Lax chaser.

BB: Miss Buxley will take her heterosexual males where she finds them. And thank you, zero, for letting your mop stand at full attention.

JP: Wasn’t expecting to say this, but that Taliban assassin chick is hot.

BSt: Wait, why are we seeing previews of John Patterson’s retirement here?

PBS: Wow, even Pastis isn’t safe from his own snark. Good one.

Shoe: It wasn’t nice of that editor to tell the Perfesser to take his manuscript and shove it up his ass.

DT: “Not me of course. Your doodles make my stomach hurt. But some freak out there will like it.”

H&L: In the hopes of acquiring yet another sibling, Trixie orders $135 worth of herbal viagra for Hi.

S-M: Ha. Good luck negotiating any “union” this week.

Popeye: One thing I like about Olive is that she can get in a vulture’s face and look kind of intimidating. Too bad her boyfriend is reaching new heughts of idiocy.

GT: Anatomy crisis! Gil’s arms are on backwards, and Kaz has feet for hands.

Momma: No Francis, we’re all in trouble. If Sonya has sex again and actually proves fertile, God will decreate the universe and try something else.
Mister MRSA
May 7th, 2008 at 10:21 am [Reply]

My lawyer said not to cooperate in stemming the tide of this disease.

The more people that die the better for him. He will pile up the wrongful death suits.

So, I am shutting up and hoping that more and more will die and I collect my finder’s fee from all of them.
Little Guy
May 7th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

My Cage: So, Ashley is the true love of Ben Linus?

The-Ghost-Who-Shows-Truthiness: Sturdy or Stephen? You decide.
Eridani
May 7th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Here comes the pitch! Wait…is that…yes! It’s Jerry O’Connell! Coming out of his glove! Brilliant strategy! Strike! The greatest slider I’ve ever seen!
TheDiva
May 7th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Luann: No it didn’t, actually.
Calico
May 7th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

MW – Along with meddling Donna Amalfi into a coma, Mary has somehow managed to morph the two brothers into Ronald Reagan and Tony Sirico.

JP – Finally, some action! SWAT and ATF to the rescue, I hope.
Calico
May 7th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

#121 – I think it’s a rastafarian tam, mon.
Mom Shannon is a good candidate for the Meds, after all. Mon.
Justafoob
May 7th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Just passing along something my dentist said to me years ago,

Rinse, then spit.

Oh, yeah, and when I told him my wife didn’t like dentists, he said “no, she doesn’t like dental work. Dentists are pretty nice.”

Then he filled her cavities.
evil_bacteria
May 7th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

How can anyone not love Judge Parker? Last week we got Abbey Spencer, Private Eye, and now we’re going to get to see a man with no legs fight an Afghani assassin. It’s everything a comic strip should be!
Funky smelling crankshafted corpse
May 7th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

CS: TWO, count’em, TWO demented old people under one roof. This could be great. However, its Batuik, so it won’t be.

JP: The only way this could get better is if Javier Bardem and a Mexican Narco-gang shows up looking for that old farmer couple and some money.

Doonesbury: That chick is fugly.

Phantom: Ummmm….flying about in unregistered aircraft after dark with no flight plan. Boy, Walker, Bangala Ranger makes his own rules, doesn’t he?
Jordan
May 7th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

That’s quite the layout Gil Thorpe has today. That “Time, Ump” balloon looks more like a malignant growth in the corner of the panel than anything anybody is actually saying.
queek
May 7th, 2008 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

PBS is made of win today, but amazingly enough is not the strip at the top of that category. The top spot today belongs to Cow & Boy for an amazing Rex Morgan parody. Bonus points for mentioning a ferret.

I’m liking Candorville this week, and not just because of things like Panal 2.
Poteet
May 7th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

# 96 SecretMargo — BWAHAHAHA! You made my morning.
Poteet
May 7th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

# 136 Justafoob — You just made me realize that John Patterson serves a small purpose in my life. I know a few dentists who are very nice and my own dentist is very nice, but I fear and loathe dental work and whimper even in the waiting room. So John is where I direct my hostility toward dentistry, and it helps that I hate his personality. Die, John, die.
Mr. Lemon
May 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Behold the look of unabashed glee on Mark’s face in the second panel! And that horrible grimace on his face in the third panel, where he looks as if he’s going to throttle the poor dog to death. Wait, that’s it! LOOK OUT ANDY! He’s lying! It’s all a cover-up so he won’t have to explain your sudden and mysterious disappearance to Cherry and Rusty, there is no little girl! Follow the money, you’ll see!
Calico
May 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

#106 – Are you saying that Harry Pulled out his Slider? Eeeew.
Calico
May 7th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

FC – Yes, Dolly, you can have the Kitten, but Billy has to take the Rat, and Jeffy has to take the Gerbil.

PJ gets the Guinea Pig.
trooper6
May 7th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

Oh my Curmudgeon, how can you not be reviewing Brenda Starr right now?

Here’s a transcript of the current strip:

Brenda: Basil was very mysterious.
Not Brenda: I love mysterious.
Brenda: Sometimes mysterious is just a polite word for difficult.
Brenda: Anyway, he had lost sight in one eye due to a rare disease that he kept at bay with the serum of black orchids.

C’mon! That’s awesome, right?

http://www.gocomics.com/brendastarr/
cheech wizard
May 7th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Curtis – Chutney doesn’t need to work on her poker face, she needs to work on her “poke me” face – try batting your eyes while licking your teeth for a change.

DTM – If you’re going to try to eat all the cookies in the world, it’s pretty inevitable that you’re going to come across mom’s hash brownies in the process.

FC – A kitten? Seems that Dolly misunderstood when she overhead her dad talking about computers and pussy.

JP – An Islamo-terrorist with big knockers and a tight-fitting burka? Eduardo just keeps pushing the envelope.

Phantom – There are two remaining Sikorsky S-38s, O Ghost-Who-Skimps-On-Research. One of them was used in making the Howard Hughes movie “The Aviator.” You’d think he’d know this since he went to the trouble of looking up how many were made.
Dingo
May 7th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

I kept trying to figure out who Rick and Ron reminded me of until it finally hit: my testicles after a long, hot bath.
Dr. Weird
May 7th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

146, trooper6 – What is with the lines under Brenda’s EYES? Facial tattoos? Mostly, it looks like the effects of weeping on mascara, Tammy Faye style.

I want to weep myself after learning that June Brigman, who did such beautiful work on Power Pack, is on a newspaper strip.
Spike
May 7th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

85 Bats :[ : Thanks for the memories and laughs! The Catholic church in State College, PA (home of Penn State) is called Our Lady of Victory (Quelle suprise!). The church is a real period piece–60’s or early 70’s circular design with no corners. Some of the Penn Staters who went there (many moons ago of course) referred to it as “Our Lady of Perpetual Motion” as well.
Bobchillingworth
May 7th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker- “Hold it!” “Objection!”
Saxman
May 7th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

146, trooper6 – I’m a lot more intrigued by the fact that her sidekick’s name is “Dorito” and they are meeting at a diner named “Trendee.”
Saxman
May 7th, 2008 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

147 cheech wizard – You gotta admit that this is a pretty kewl aircraft. If I were a mysterious jungle superhero, I’d buy one too.

http://www.airport-data.com/aircraft/photo/050471.html
gh
May 7th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

JP —

I am Samira, daughter of Abul Hakim! And you are Steven Shannon . . . murderer of my father!

Okay, now that we’ve finished with the introductions, why don’t we go around the room and everyone find something nice to say about each other. Steven? Why don’t you go first.

Um, I like your wrist watch, Samira. Is that from Zales?
Saluki
May 7th, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: My lawyer told me not to talk to you. Not for any legal reason. It’s just that, well you know, he’s heard about you.
bats :[
May 7th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

148. Dingo: the mind boggles.
(Don’t imagine…don’t imagine…don’t imagine…don’t ima — ahhhh, dammit!!)
cheech wizard
May 7th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

153/ Saxman – An extremely cool airplane – I’d never seen one until “The Aviator,” where I thought it was just about the perfect retro flying machine. It was nearly my favorite thing in the movie, albeit a close second to Kate Beckinsale (who played Ava Gardner).

Hughes: “Does that look clean to you?”
Gardner: “Nothing’s truly clean, Howard. But we do the best we can.”
bats :[
May 7th, 2008 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

153. Saxman: and you absolutely know that if the Phantom buys a plane like that, it’ll have zeeba stripes on it.
Or alternately blue-and-purple pinstripes to match his trunks.
Vyola
May 7th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

Shaking off the sign = letting go of the knob? Y/N?
NotAGoatHead
May 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

#159. No. It’s using a kitten for a mouse.
Niall
May 7th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

If we have Buxley Wednesdays, I could live with Ashley Wednesdays too. :) :) My Cage also had the funny-yet-disturbing unearthing of an ugly thing from our past… and the black cherry was such a magnificent pièce de résistance there’s little I can say but glee!
NotAGoatHead
May 7th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Hey! Cathy and her mom are even screwed up in Spanish.

http://www.gocomics.com/espanol/cathyespanol/?ref=ql_cmcs
DAS
May 7th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Plus I get the disturbing feeling that “Catholic Central” is the name of the ‘voluntary’ facility all the Catholics in Milford have been moved into.

Which is why Andrew Gregory is so antipathic toward Vargas — Vargas didn’t move into the ‘voluntary’ facility into which he was supposed to move.
Vakar
May 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

Outrage! In panel 3 of Gil Thorp, Kaz is ‘flipping the bird’ at someone! Maybe someone off-panel, maybe Gil himself! I just don’t know what this world is coming to. I keep telling you people, if we allow the coarsening of the daily comics, the last bastion of tender, gentle domestic life, then we can kiss our fine, moral country goodbye! (Note: This outrage intended for U.S. residents only!)

First, the word ’suck’ appears. Then, a couple– married, thank god– rolling around in their underwear, the man with visible nipples! Today, an obscene gesture. What will it be next week? An orgy in Diesel Sweeties?! Why that–

Actually, I’d like to see that. I’ve been wondering about that robot.
Calico
May 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

#154 – “Hi, my name is Samira, and I have a special gift a la ‘My Cage’ for you and your Mom!”
PeteMoss
May 7th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

Spider-Influenza, Spider Influenza!
Does whatever any influenza does!
Will Pete Cough, Ache and Moan?
He mght as well stay at home.
Look out! Here comes sick Spider-man.

With the speed of light, he’ll flick on the TV.
He’ll just stay in bed unless he has to pee.
gh
May 7th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

Okay, people. I was out sick yesterday and expected someone would pick up the slack but after ~~scouring~~ ~~casually perusing~~ using Find for “fish skeleton” on the comments I find no reference to the Dilbert/SlyFox crossover. Hello? I can’t take a day off?
Vakar
May 7th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

166 Laughed so hard, I started coughing! Uh-oh…
Jonny Quest
May 7th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: Steve Shannon is a dead ringer for Race Bannon from Jonny Quest. Jonny, Hadji, Dr. Quest and Bandit will bolt through the door any moment now. How did Samira, in her conspicuous robe and veil, get into the house without neighbors noticing?
cheech wizard
May 7th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

“If we can find our little friend’s puppy, it might make her well again!”

No, it won’t! This is a deeply disturbed child who desperately needs professional help. The fact that she can go from bedridden to happy to bedridden again, all depending on the presence /absence of a father/puppy figure only illustrates the extreme nature of her bipolar nature and fragile emotional state.

Reintroducing the puppy would be what is known as “masking the symptoms.” Eliminating this Dog of Death from the picture is probably the best thing that could happen to her and help ensure she gets the help she needs. Otherwise, she will no doubt grow up aimless and dissolute, sucking random cock and perhaps a shotgun by the time she hits her mid 20s.

But then, what do you care, Mark? You’re on the side of the animals. Your main concern is ensuring that another one of these flea-bitten “shelter stories” finds a cozy home with a human family it can attach its mouth parts to and derive its sustenance. Meanwhile, you keep your wife and child squirreled away in a log cabin in the distant Canadian woods, as shut off from the rest of society as the imprisoned offspring of a demented neonazi electrician, kept locked away for your own purposes and so isolated it seems as if the very birds and animals are talking to them. But you don’t have to worry, since your “friends” in law enforcement, the media and wilderness outfitting all have your back. But someday the truth will get out and when it does… well, you won’t have to worry then either, because it will all be presented in a way that’s too damn boring for anyone to pay attention.

You win again, Mark Trail!
Ukulele Ike
May 7th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

9CL: Come on! You have to admit that this is sweet. That all these 9CL characters (maybe, what, ten in all?) interact and chat and treat each other respectfully even though they are all assholes trying to get into each others’ girlfriends pants.

Listen. I MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY IN 1982 because I wouldn’t have to talk to assholes I didn’t like. Because there are 8 MILLION PEOPLE HERE. And you can safely skip the assholes.

Candorville Oh my god. Panel two. This is the way I always want to see Susanna. I don’t even mind the beehive.
cheech wizard
May 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

169 – If that’s the case, Jonny, Brace and Dr. Quest will simply befuddle her with cigarette lighters, watches and other do-dads of Western technology, which her simple native mind will be unable to comprehend. Or Hadji will confound her by seeming to pull off his thumb or some other mystifying feat of magic, after which he’ll serve iced tea to his famished betters.
JB
May 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

125 – How did Sister Mary Elephant get her name?

Actually, “Elephant” was the safe word, when she had Officer Stedenko tied up, smacking him with the ruler…

In my hometown, we had Our Lady of Perpetual Help and Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception.

Of course, we asked the girls who were at the two schools if they went to Perpetual Conception…
NotAGoatHead
May 7th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

How ’bout Our Lady of Perpetual Constipation? Oh, wow. We found the FOOB church.
Diamond Joe
May 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

#174 Ukulele Ike:

So how’s the “avoiding the assholes” thing going? I ask because I’ve lived in Los Angeles for ten years after growing up in the Chicago suburbs, and it seems that I run across each and every asshole in Los Angeles County while I’m driving.

If I had a dime for every time someone behind me leaned on their horn to helpfully suggest that I turn left into oncoming traffic… well, I could probably buy a comic book. Maybe two.
odinthor
May 7th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

164. Vakar.

Outrage! In panel 3 of Gil Thorp, Kaz is ‘flipping the bird’ at someone! Maybe someone off-panel, maybe Gil himself!

Of course, who could really blame him? But I have four other theories:

(A). He saw Andrew unzip and unleash his “slider,” said to himself, “Hey, I have something like that on me somewhere!”, and is looking to make sure.

(B). He was watching a Three Stooges movie before the game, and is poking himself in the eye as homage.

(C). He noted that Gil’s lower arm and hand have become the trunk of an elephant, and thought he’d better take inventory of his own.

(D). He decided to pick his nose, got halfway there, and forgot how.
Cami
May 7th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

Why My Dog is Awesome by Mark Trail
I love my dog. His name is Andy. He is way cool and big and helps me out with stuff. He understands English and sometimes I think maybe he knows more than I do. Even when things get bad he doesn’t leave me, unless he goes for help. If anybody tried to take him I would be way sad. So nobody better take him, because I would be way sad. I live at [insert address here], so no dognappers should go there and take my dog. And that’s what I did for my summer vacation.
Gabacho
May 7th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

#146 trooper6 and Brenda Starr – Everything about Brenda Starr is always awesome. My first indication as a young boy that I was “different” than other boys was when I realized that I was in love with Superman and was jealous of Lois as played by Noelle Neil. I never cared for Phyllis Coates.

Anyway the second was when I discovered Brenda Starr.

She’s over the top, smart, beautiful and what Camille Paglia would call a female drag queen. The best comic strip character ever.

#170 cheech wizard and Mark Trail – Dead on. I hate that kid and you know what? They should trade that kid for the dog. She’s a pain in the ass with her manipulative histrionic fits and her high drama. No wonder Daddy walked.
Talking Squirrel
May 7th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

43 – IanB: “Andy seems like he *has* to be a Newfoundland to me… It would be pretty out of character, I think, for him to be drawing a St. Bernard as a Newfie.”

He’s actually a Presa Canario who’s been banished to MT-land because there are no gay lawyers there that he would rip the throats out of.

Also, why does Lynn Johnson have to be such a bee-yatch? She makes her creation suffer for 19 years of his two-dimensional life by forcing him, willy-nilly, to be a dentist. And she knows just exactly how much he hates it. What’s wrong with showing him a little pity and letting him have a glamorous career such as gravedigger or actuary.
Carly
May 8th, 2008 at 1:16 am [Reply]

Yes, but none of those St. Bernards will be smarter than Mark.

…Oh, wait.
Muffaroo
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

Late to the ball game: it’s called a “slider” because, like the White Castle burgers, it goes down fast. His dick, I mean.

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Mark Trail: Friend to the (useful) animals

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