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Inhuman Tuesday

Mark Trail, 11/20/12

Mark’s remarkably non-traumatizing kidnap idyl is still continuing apace, as the good people of Not Guerilla Island prepare to make a scurmptious feast from the fish Mark and Pop caught, and … say, what’s the story with that little guy in the white shirt in the second panel?

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HIS TONGUE? It’s not … human. Sure, you could try to claim that it’s just a weird little semi-circle crudely drawn onto a pre-existing clip art face, but I think the safe bet is that this child is an alien lizard-man wearing a meat-sack disguise, just like everyone else on the island, and once they get enough ransom money to repair their spacecraft, they’ll swarm all over Mark and Andy, their razor-sharp teeth tearing away all their flesh in minutes, leaving bleached skeletons behind.

Hi and Lois, 11/20/12

I’m not sure how we’re supposed to parse the politics here — are we intended to be patriotically enraged by cheap Chinese labor, or are the industrious low-wage workers of Shenzhen’s factories supposed to compare favorably to the smug American repairman? I do know that this is a strip that has never exactly focused on little visual details, which makes the lovingly rendered stitching on the repairman’s visible underpants all the more unsettling.

Heathcliff, 11/20/12

I’m certainly not opposed to Heathcliff being called to account for his many crimes in a court of law, but I do have some questions about the fish that the guy next to him is holding. Specifically: what’s the deal with the fish? Is it evidence in one of the many cases about to be tried simultaneously? Is it bait? Was Heathcliff, the master criminal, lured into the Man’s courtroom by some guy waving a delicious, pungent dead fish around? Because that would be kind of disappointing.

Gasoline Alley, 11/20/12

Here are some characters in Gasoline Alley! I guess you’re supposed to like them, even though their black, beady, inhuman eyes are the stuff of your most terrifying nightmares.

255 responses to “Inhuman Tuesday”

  1. Your Insect Overlords
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Let me guess: “”After You Get What Your Want, You Don’t Want It”?

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Speaking of inhuman…

    “Mike Wazowski” from Monsters, Inc. makes a cameo in today’s Scary Gary:

    http://www.gocomics.com/scarygary/2012/11/20

  3. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Doons: I lol’d. Nicely done.

    HotC: True DAT!

    LaCuc: Ponys DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

    Lio: yikes! The squirrels from Mutts, taken up to eleven!

    PBS: cross-dressing, fish-slapping bears. words fail me.

    DT: *googles fish with cinnamon recipies*

    JUMBLE: grrrrrrroooooooooaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn. If you had drawn them as the Fox’s, I would have loved you forever.

    PMP: sharing a site with Sequitur and Crankshaft?

    RwO: and we thought that Spunky Lad from IP was unclear on the concept!

    rMC: one of Violet’s best strips. better you than me, Jamus, and better Rex than either of us.

  4. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . . getting that third lump in the sheets.

    alt: thermometer goes WHERE?!?

  5. wossname
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MT – On the right edge of panel two we see a rare self-portrait of Jackelrod as a young man, attending Kidnapping Camp with his name neatly sewn on his shirt. So this arc must be taking place in 1912 or so.

  6. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3G-Some of the women auditioning really gave there all if you know what I mean.

    FW-”I’m sorry but I’m more into underage girls. Come back when you have one.”

    MW-”Wait? Jim has a sister that you resemble? Does this mean that Wilbur had sex with another woman some time in the past? That means that your pathetic slub of a father has had sex more times than you.”

    RMMD-Dolores can always get this amazing new thing called breast implants. They can make breasts in all sizes. Dolores could go for bigger breasts and make more money.

    RMMD 2-From what I can tell in that last panel the blonde is not wearing a bra.

  7. Chareth Cutestory
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: I’m not a certified BBQ expert but I did live in Texas for six months, so believe me when I tell you that putting unseasoned fish straight on the grill and letting most of them catch on fire is NOT the way to go. I try to avoid gender stereotypes, though I will tell you that Mark is failing as a man.

  8. Dagger
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Garfield’s trying to say he’s innocent because of the existence of…REASONABLE TROUT! Ha ha! Oh, I hate myself.

  9. Christopher
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: The people of Not-Guerilla Island make their feasts even more uncomfortable by padding their ranks with some crude cardboard silhouettes.

    Heathcliff: Having sent one of his enemies a message in the form of a fish wrapped in paper Heathcliff prepares to make the judge an offer he can’t refuse.

  10. AhClem
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    H&L – Where can I get a hat that says “FRIDGE” on it?

  11. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Labs, gotta love ‘em.

    Viking puppies, not as wonderful as Viking Kittens. (crank the volume for that second link, unless you’re at work or something like that.)

    Diet and excersise in Baka Gaijin’s nightmares. (nsfbg, obviously)

    lunch with the authors. *dies laughing*

    further proof that otters are big wet weasels. (several of my ferrets were notorious for this sort of thing.)

    Polish Armored Corgi Division.

    irrisistable corgsqui.

  12. wossname
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#6): Not to get too depressingly serious here – but if Delores is having a mastectomy, implants may make her look OK with clothes on, but her career as an exotic dancer is over.

  13. Doctor Handsome
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    A big reeking fish is what Heathcliff is sworn in on, in lieu of a Bible.

  14. Pozzo
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    H&L – Just be glad they didn’t show us his butt crack.

  15. Crankenstank
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Re: Mark Trail. I have to admit that having Zombies who prefer their food cooked over an open fire is an innovation in that overdone genre. Our littlest zombie is obviously savoring a tidbit just taken out of the pot.

  16. Doctor Handsome
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    “Can you explain why you put your kids’ crappy artwork on the fridge with scotch tape instead of magnets?”

  17. WytErp
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: Cod-efendant?

  18. TheDiva
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    H&L: That’s highway robbery! Why, the repairman didn’t even fix the mysteriously moving fridge art.

    MT: I’m guessing Jackelrod’s experience with island life amounts to going to a luau on Maui that one time.

  19. gleeb
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Because it’s a stainless steel fridge?

  20. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    I’m not sure which is more terrifying: Jamaal the massive EVILSCARYCLOWN or Boog and Hoog’s beady dead eyes.

    I peeked at the NSFBG “Exercise” above. I’d easily make the 2 minute mile with that motivation.
    P.S. AAAAAHHH!

    On further reflection, it’s the eight-ball eyeballs. They’ll never go away. Jamaal will revert to form in a strip or two.

  21. Doctor Handsome
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    You can’t fool me! This “Boog” kid is just a shaved-up Curious George!

  22. Ranger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on? I mean, I do know what is going on, but what the hell is the point? Can we move along to the reason this genie is taken by what appears to be a computer game character with a murderous streak while the strip’s namesake is now a genie of sorts talking to an extremely buxom and topless mermaid? I’ve seen Mary Worth story arcs move at a faster pace.

  23. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (y#222): Thanks for the tip. Turns out there’s a bunch of them at the Internet Archive as well.

  24. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Luann – “Right now? Okay. Let me get undressed. It’s good we have Skype.”

    JP – Yes, but if Avery becomes a trout bum, who’s going to produce the movie? I’m guessing it’ll be Peaches, because this plot can’t end without Sam getting a sack full of unmarked bills.

    Doons – Well played, Trudeau. Well played.

    MT – It turns out all they needed to save them from crushing poverty was a white guy who knew how to fish! This storyline is making The Ghost Who Condescends look progressive.

    Rip – Have I mentioned before that Rip Haywire is an outstanding strip? I have? Well, I’m going to do it again.

  25. S. Stout
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    H&L: Hi and Lois complain about money all the time, but Hi plays golf almost every day and they chose to have four kids. I do not feel sorry for them.

    Luann: “Now that I’m safely out of the country and can’t have sex with you, Evans says we can have a Skype relationship. He says drawing you on the bed for three frames is really easy, and is great filler for when he jumps away from storylines due to logic problems. So umm…dingo yankee outback?”

  26. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#22):

    Because Porn, that’s why.

  27. Sidders
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail, 11/20/12

    Rusty, you’ve got competition, eat his heart out!

  28. The Grandstander
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: “Yeah. breast surgery for an exotic dancer is a career changer.” This could be the best line of comic strip dialog EVER.

    Mark Trail: How long until the residents of Not Guerilla Island overthrow Otto and install Mark as their new King?

  29. DAS
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    (Not Emily Bronte’s) Heathcliff: [W]rap sheet? Is that supposed to be a pun worthy of the Family Circus melon-heads?

  30. TheDiva
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: So, you’re going to take a mildly funny joke and spend the entire week beating it into the ground with your own verbosity and smug philosophizing, are you? Okay, get bent then.

    A3G: Special cameo by Dr. Chinbeard!

    C’shaft: Nobody wants to spend Thanksgiving with Crankshaft. Color me shocked.

    FW: Panel two sums up the general reaction to this strip.

    Luann: Oh goody, Luann’s first cybersex experience.

    MW: Uh-oh, Dawn mentioned the F-word in front of Mary! Luckily the drugs in her brown mush pie will soon take effect, then it’s off to Room 101 for some “enlightenment.”

    Phantom: I’m sure dressing as an eggplant on the African savannah is good hunting technique.

    Pibgorn: So, how many more days do you think this particular variation of Brooke’s petty vengeance will last? Vegas has the over/under on Thanksgiving.

    SM: Damn, Spider-Man’s even getting out-heroed on the random nameless thugs. Time to hang up the web-slingers, buddy.

  31. Doctor Handsome
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#19): In a household with Hi & Lois‘s pre-Brady Bunch aesthetic? Sorry, don’t buy it.

  32. Ranger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

  33. Ranger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    JP: And since I’m going to be living here, I won’t need the plane or Peaches (that was her name, right) anymore. They’re yours now Sam, along with this blank check.

  34. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Spandex, dude. Spandex is what you should be worried about. Also, trimming that awful thing going on around your chin.

    Apt. 3-G: “Come on, now – that’s not the question you really want answered, is it?” “No, you’re right…it isn’t. It’s four o’clock in the morning, and I have more important things on my mind. What the hell does it take to wrap up a Rex Morgan, M.D. plotline, anyway?”

    Snuffy Smith goes swinger in the last panel today.

    Oh, goody. It’s Thesaurus Day at 9 Chickweed Lane and Pibgorn. Break out the lotion, you beefwits and trolls!

    Dick Tracy: The Black Piranha is fa-reaky!! Sadly, she’s probably about to be taken down by a stupid penguin. Do they have penguins in the Amazon? I don’t think they have penguins in the Amazon.

    Luann: Evans: do kids still do cybering these days? I think they do cybering. I do cybering, and I’m old and obsessed with teenagers’ bodies. Why wouldn’t they?

    Mark Trail is only a few loaves short of proving that he’s our Lord and Savior. Or new robot overlord. That works too.

    Mary Worth: I’ll just leave this here.

    Tomorrow on Rex Morgan, M.D.: Two, four, six…seven?

    And one more: If you’re not following Scary-Go-Round, you’re missing a treat.

  35. Leonard
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: When did the demographic for newspaper comics change?

  36. Marc
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    A3G- The question I really want answered is; What the fuck is the point?

    Mark Trail- I don’t much care about the islanders cooking methods, or even the alien child. I’m much more interested in how a young Matt Dillon seems to have made his way onto the island.

    Mary Worth- I don’t think anyone with a functioning brain would consider spending all your free time, making bland food stuffs with a meddling old hag, “enjoying your freedom.”

    Funky- The problem may not be with the turkeys, it may be more to do with the fact that the salesman can’t put together a complete sentence and smells like a combination of warm meat and spoiled milk.

    Luann- No better way to carry on a “relationship” and ensure that nobody ever has sex than to “date” over internet with somebody on the other side of the world.

    Family Cirucs- It may just be the concussion that I sustained in my hockey game last night, but I have no clue what the hell she’s talking about. Is it just me or does anyone have a clue as to what “dressing like my aunt’s sisters” means?

    Archie- Archie seems to be unaware that he’s wearing one of Veronica’s t-shirts.

    Snuffy- “Well I know we won’t be choosing to have sex with our hideous wives.”

  37. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#24): Luann: “It’s good we have Skype.”

    Quill: Skype… right… and that’s different than streaming video to 5640 subscribers worldwide.. how exactly?

  38. randy
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    H&L: The repair bill that Hi is holding indicates that he is on the hook for $800 not $400 as he believes. This indicates the artist wasn’t really paying attention to the copy. “It says something about $800 doesn’t it.” Either that or the planned obsolescence of Chinese-made appliances is worse than we thought

  39. Ranger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    BB: I find it hilarious that someone is holding up a sign that says FOO! Is supposed to be jive for FOOL or simulating the sound a cannon would make? Maybe it is abbreviated for PHOOEY. Inquiring minds need to know.

  40. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Since the election, I’ve been hearing a great deal about changing demographics. Hence, a banner day in Mark Trail. The first appearance of a non-caucasian. In another election cycle or two, one of them will have a speaking part. Hey, it’s the changing face of America, folks!

  41. Digger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    H&L: The repairman’s seductive pose in panel two suggests he’s willing to make an “arrangement” to knock a couple hundred bucks off that bill. On second thought, this is Hi we’re talking about, so he’d be lucky to take $50 off the repair bill.

  42. Horace Broon
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: The director knows that even though Greg’s supposed to be a film star, he doesn’t really care about the film or his role in it. Greg and Margo are better matched than I thought.

    ASM: Well, somebody’s got to do some half-decent crimefighting in this strip…

    BB: The Army’s psychological warfare experiments may seem crude, but given how demoralised Gen Halftrack looks, I think they’re writing it up as a success.

    DT: Okay, this is even insaner than I guessed yesterday. I like it.

    MW: “I remind him of his late sister … whom I resemble.” only makes sense as something someone might say if it’s a segue into “…a lot more than this resembles pie!”

  43. Horace Broon
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#36): Is it just me or does anyone have a clue as to what “dressing like my aunt’s sisters” means?

    I actually feel guilty for inflicting the pun-like utterance on someone who managed to avoid it, but she was apparently told she should dress like her “ancestors”.

    I’m so sorry.

  44. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#39): When I was younger, I thought about joining the armed forces. Back then, the stereotype was that the morale was low, and you wound up mopping floors and cleaning toilets more than anything else. Today’s Beetle Bailey would make any of the recruits of that era glad to have been assigned latrine duty versus “Soldier! Stand in front of the enemy nearby this micro-tank with a sign reading ‘FOO!’”

    So are the signs defensive weaponry or do you take offense? Discuss.

  45. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#43): I actually liked that pun in FC. Pastis from PBS would have given it a better delivery, I’m sure. Seeing any of those mellon headed kids instantly sucks most of the humor out of the air for me, too. The pun in itself is not too bad.

  46. Chip
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “Breast surgery for an exotic dancer is a career changer!” Truer words have never been spoken. Look on the bright side: Delores gets insurance to pay for silicone implants!

  47. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: The bailiff is reading the rap sheet to the court? Does that make sense? And the fish? Still dripping? And the rap sheet is a scroll? Yes, I know that if it were printed on 8.5 x 11 pages, there would be no joke. If I had a point to make here, maybe that would be it.

    A little known fact about courtrooms is that bailiffs are reuqired to wear canary yellow shoes.

  48. Ranger
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#44):

    Neither, I just find it funny. Reminds me of a professional wrestling arena and some of the inane signs people bring.

  49. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MW: “Whom I resemble”? Whom? That settles it: No way is Dawn a 19-year-old girl.

    Translation into 19-year-old: “I kinda look like his dead sister, and he thinks that’s hot. Fuck my life.”

    JP: This plot has been utterly ridiculous, of course, but I do have to give it props on one detail: There really never was any serious talk of getting Bubba in loads of trouble for his lucrative pot patch. At least one legacy strip has entered the 21st century.

    Frazz: Okay, I’m on low-battery brain power today; can someone explain this?

  50. Greg
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    H&L: The “Fridge” tech is either a shameless mouth-breather in the first panel, or someone has deleted his speech balloon: “Ha, ha, you stupid idiot! I just peed in your dog’s mouth! Ha, ha!”

    Yeah, I can see why that might get deleted…

  51. Austria
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    BB: …….That guy on the edge of the strip…….what is he WEARING?

    Curtis: Oh geez. We’re being set up for Curtis to learn a Very Valuable Lesson about being grateful for family, aren’t we?

    FW: I really wish I could stop liking this kid. He makes it very hard to snark on the strip.

    H&L: “Can you explain why you’re standing around with your mouth agape when you’re not even talking?”

  52. Ned Ryerson
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @AhClem (#10): Cafe press! C’mon Josh, you heard us, we demand a hat that says FRIDGE!

  53. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Ginger is complaining that insurance won’t cover the loss of income from giving up exotic dancing. If she and Honey also give up dancing, doesn’t that triple the problem?

    Sure, go ahead and all quit your jobs. Stop paying rent to that old lady back east. Go on Medicaid and sponge off government handouts. Throw huge parties and drink a lot of beer. Recipe for success, certainly.

    Yet, I’m sure the Morgans will turn this den of depravity into something respectable by the end of the weekend.

  54. Hibbleton
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Second Thoughts:

    MW: Dawn assumes the pallor and demeanor of a corpse to underline the creepiness of Jim’s obsession ..Wait ..What? She always looks like that?

    JP: As an officer of the court, how many years in a maximum security prison would Sam get for not turning in his friend and reporting this large scale conspiracy to distribute a class 1 narcotic? What? Bubba’s a legal supplier of medical marijuana and he’s going to hire Sam at an outrageous salary to reorganize his business model to one of eco energy. Phew, for a moment there I thought Sam might face a moral conundrum.

  55. hogenmogen
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#48): So if some guy is holding that sign, wouldn’t that make Gen. Halftrack a “Foo-Fighter”?

    Couldn’t resist.

  56. Hibbleton
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Frazz: Good one.

  57. KreatureFeatures
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    The Lockhorns became Love Is so gradually that we didn’t even notice.

  58. Spyglass
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    I dunno, $400 seems like a pretty fair price to expand a fridge. Between panels one and two, it got wide enough to tack up another piece of paper!

  59. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    H&L: Look, when Ralph from “Fridge” is in your kitchen showin’ off his underpants and wagglin’ his eyebrows, you pay him quickly and without complaint.

    MW: “Whom I resemble”?! Congratulations to Mary Worth, the winner of the Continuing To Lower An Already Subterranean Bar Sweepstakes!

    A3G: I really wish they wouldn’t introduce another chinbeard character. It’s confusing enough to keep all the men straight as it is. No pun. Nah, I’m lying, that was TOTALLY a pun.

  60. Clint Brawny
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    I’m sure that poor kid feels better now that Josh felt the need to point out his/her pimple to everyone.

  61. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#53):

    … the Morgans will turn this den of depravity into something respectable by the end of the weekend.

    Maybe Rex will give a speech!

  62. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT: What does it say about this Caribbean island that Larry the Cable Guy shows up and turns out to be less white than the average native?

    H&L: Like Hi, I’m a little shocked at how much skin the repairman is showing. Is he dropping hints about what he might do for $500?

    MW: Mary in third panel”: Yes dear, I know. I’m not that senile.

    FW: Ah, now there’s the stooped shoulders and hopeless expression of a true Westvillean.

    Archie: Does Mrs. Andrews have Kermit the Frog eyes all over her blouse, or is this a cryptic appearance by the AJGLU3000?

    JP: “Ha ha, that’s cute, Avery. I’m going to go home and live out everyone’s fantasy as a non-working Master of the Universe.”

    RMMD: Interesting. A continuity strip in 2012 can at least say the word “breast”, but “mastectomy” remains off limits.

    Drabble: I kind of love the fact that Norm is being threatened by a guy with a pink dragon around his waist.

    DT: Cinnamon Knight? I’m sorry, that doesn’t sound so much like a costumed vigilante as a red-haired male stripper.

    Momma: From a legal standpoint, misdemeanors aren’t good, they’re just less bad. Low expectations on the doggie, huh?

    SSmith: Always so many decisions when you get together for a wife swappin’.

    A3G: “The question you want answered is what the hell is happening to your face. Well, I don’t know, but I’m working on it.”

  63. Bill
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Say! What’s with the guy in the lower right corner of the last panel wearing the Jack Elrod pin? Elections are over.

  64. pugfuggly
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MT I’m going to assume that those shadowy figures in the background of this fiesta are the wandering ghosts of the other kidnapees that Otto rid himself of when his demands weren’t met. So don’t worry Senor Doc, there still a good chance that Mark will be around for a long time, at least in ‘spirit’.

    H&L Yep, fixed in America by a hairless two-toed sloth posing as a human repair man. I bet $400 buys a lot of delicious twigs and leaves.

    GA You always read spooky stories about soulless demons with dark dead eyes haunting small rural towns, but you rarely, if ever, hear the later stories about when the demons settle down, have a few dead-eyed kids, and eventually just become part of the community. Thanks, Gasoline Alley, for coming out against demonophobia.

  65. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#55): So if Dave Grohl is cast as General Halftrack in the Beetle Bailey movie, we heard it here first.

  66. Here come the Judge
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    The Intra-Comics Chest-Off continues… Rex Morgan, MD continues their gratuitous use of T-n-A as a key plot device, but takes it up a notch by actually talking about boobs. Mark Trail, while generally not known for female characters that are in any way attractive or desirable, proves that they are still in the game by providing us with some R.Crumb-esque nipple outlines in today’s panel two.
    Meanwhile, Judge Parker slips back a notch, by leaving Bea entirely out of today’s strip and instead featuring two rich, uninteresting dolts recapping the latest story (which wasn’t very interesting to begin with). Come on, Manley! Step up the game!

  67. bats :[
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

  68. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Should have borrowed Brooke McE’s thesaurus. “Breast Surgery” is a very poor synonym for “mastectomy” in this context. 90% of exotic dancers have had breast surgery to enhance their … income. And the other 10% are either still “saving” for it, or still looking for the right sugar daddy to pick up the tab.

    Plus, without the Thesaurus, Brooke would have had to stick with “see” or even “recognize” in panel 2, instead of the execrable “descry” for today’s word salad.

  69. bats :[
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#22): for reasons known only to me (and testing the limits of my computer’s memory), I’m stashing all of the strips in Pibgorn’s current storyline. I’m hoping that once it’s over (someone might have to tell me that) and I can read it all at once, rather than once a day (and being overwhelmed by the Beauty and Majesty that is BMcE’s Art), it might actually tell a story.
    At this point, it doesn’t even have to be a good one, just vaguely cohesive.

  70. Labdad
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    JP: Avery says, “Sometimes it takes a little longer, but I always find a way to make it happen!” A little longer?? I realize this whole Avery the movie producer/trout bum has been going on since – what? MAY?? – but in Parkertime, I’m pretty sure it’s been about 24 hours!

    Let’s review: Avery and Peaches fly in, Sam gets the contract signed, they decide to go fishing, Avery falls into the pot field on the drive up to the run-down lodge, they catch the “evening rise” and land Old Hardy, they have dinner, go to bed, get a skunk thrown in their room, next morning Avery gets up, looks for his camera, goes to find Bubba, convinces Bubba not to cut him up with a chainsaw, also convinces Bubba to change his pot growing ways and become an environmental steward instead. Oh, and Avery falls in love with Bea. I’m pretty sure all this took place in less than 24 hours.

    If we’re ever given a story where Avery “takes a little longer,” it will be 2015 before it wraps up!

  71. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    The “Hi & Lois” repairman is obviously a big fan of 1980′s Chicago Bears defensive lineman William “The Refrigerator” Perry (“The Fridge” for short). Judging by the usual attention that the H&L team pays to pop culture and current events, they probably think The Fridge is still a big star.

  72. fuzzmaster
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff is NOT in court. He’s appearing before a desk sergeant at a police station. The rap sheet isn’t a list of current charges; a rap sheet lists offenses the individual has previously committed.

    The cop with the fish arrested Heathcliff and has brought him before the desk sergeant for booking. Doesn’t anyone else remember these old police tropes?

  73. Canuckamuck
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    FW: A Canadian Prime Minister demonstrates how to handle sherpa-hatted whiners.

  74. gleeb
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Wooden, then.

  75. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    MT – Next week, Rusty asks, “Mark, will you take me kidnapping with you?”

  76. Aaron
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Healthcliff is a genius guerrilla cross-promotion for TruTV’s newest “caught in the act” vehicle, “BAIT FISH”. I can’t wait for the controversial caught-on-tape tasering of Riff Raff, or the mopey look on Garfield’s face when the deputies ask “why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

  77. bats :[
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    There’s cooking, and then there’s cooking…

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Beetle – Apparently, in a war of words, the really, really big words are like tactical nukes. Is the thing on the right that bipedal generic animal again?

    Smirky – Another day of Batiuk’s mold-breaking switch from melanoma-based tragedy to salmonella-based comedy.

    Heathcliff is in the dock for being a fish’s killer.

  79. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Slylock – “Quack! Aaah!”

    Snuffy – “Lukey, I jest cain’t quit ya!”

    Dick – So the Cinnamon Knight is Amos Van Hoesen? Or somebody from a completely different comic strip, like Slim or TJ?

    love is… …the beginning of the end.

  80. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Mary – Dawn’s dancing around the real issue: she needs simultaneous twiddling and strumming, or she can’t get all whoopied up.

    Pluggers – Damn sensitive chickens. “I tell you, I’m roasting in here!”

    SatAM – Aw, but it’s such acute little angle! [*]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#23): Wow! So Herbie is Public Domain? Probably? I never thought of looking for comics at archive. Pappy’s, as far as I can tell, has every issue, though, with each page as a .jpg, and I find that pretty congenial for reading. Though the idea of having them on my Kindle (albeit in grayscale) has its appeal.

  81. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#80): It’s “public domain” in the sense that they can’t figure out who, if anybody, holds the copyright, either.

  82. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Labdad (#70):

    Back before the Dixie Julep storyline, Judge Parker always featured Narration Box every morning in strip time, and at virtually no other time. Sadly, this convention has fallen by the wayside as Narration Box has grown chattier.

    Rule of thumb for Judge Parker is about one day every three months, so assuming Sam ‘n’ Avery met in the morning of the first day and it is now late afternoon or evening of the second, we’re just about on track.

  83. bartcow
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    H&L: I can’t decide if Hi is staring into the middle distance, dumbstruck at the repairman’s attempt at humor, or if he’s staring at the guy’s oddly bulging pants. Of course, with a rapidly time- and shape-shifting house like he’s got, he’s probably just disoriented. Another half second, and he’ll be four feet taller and standing in the garage.

  84. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#39):

    I remember “FOO!” being used a lot in the Smokey Stover comic strip:

    http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/picturesc/smoke.jpg

  85. logicbutton
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    One time when I was a kid, I asked my mom to explain a joke I had just read in a Family Circus treasury. This would have been around 1990, and the book would have been older. She told me that when Dolly said “aunt’s sisters,” she meant “ancestors.”

    Do legacy/zombie strips get points for going back more than twenty years when looking for material to recycle?

  86. Will
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    S4th: That’s oddly specific. How many laundry rooms do they have?

  87. exapno
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#84):

    Rocky: Foo was in just about EVERY Smokey Stover – along with Notary Sojac and ’1506 nix nix’

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smokey_Stover

  88. Poteet
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    GA — So Hoogie looks suddenly enthused about being told to bake all the goods for the bake sale on her own, even though she exuded disgusting flop sweat a few minutes ago. Hmmm. I’m guessing that she now plans to make baked goods that taste dreadful enough to ensure she’ll never be asked to bake for the school again, using “health” as her cover. Get ready for broccoli-flavored cupcakes, kids!

  89. Oregonian
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    MT: Call me naive, but I had no idea that getting kidnapped was so fun! Book me that cruise to Somalia, Jeeves!

  90. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Boog has officially outdone Michael Patterson for “Dumbest Kid in the Comics.”

  91. Stroker Ace
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley – How insensitive to mention an oven to World War II war-orphan Dondi. Wow…just wow.

  92. Clint Brawny
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail has the most severe case of Stockholm Syndrome ever.

  93. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88):

    Hoogie is seriously bipolar, but dynamite in the sack if you time it right.

  94. Dartpaw86
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Boog’s family is waiting for their spaceship from whatever island Mark is on to be repaired, then after a human feasting on all the kids who bullied him his people will go home to Blandania and said “Earth, everyone is either stupid or an asshole. Let’s invade”

  95. Dartpaw86
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#94):

    Actually, if every comic shared a story arc about the world fighting an Alien Invasion. That would be pretty sweet :D

  96. greghousesgf
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff does have a tendency to just have the caption stating what’s happening in the picture. It’s like they’re trying to appeal to little kids who can’t read yet.

  97. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Clint Brawny (#60):
    It could be a huge herpes sore. The fish oil will help.

  98. Tom the Sailor Man
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: June stands around in a bathing suit talking to strippers in short shorts and halter tops – for once I’m glad the plot is moving at a snail’s pace. In a week or so Rex will walk into the middle of a giggly pillow fight.

  99. odinthor
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    GT. — And that was the day that a new blip started resolving on Lini Verde’s gaydar screen…

    H&L. — Before going all j’accuse! and giving voice to harsh questions which would unsettle the complacency of the bourgeoisie, Hi always makes certain that he has irrefutable documentary proof of his assertions. “See?! See, chunky but evidently well-hung Mr. Repairman!?! I hold in my hand proof—proof, I tell you—proof that, once upon a time, I paid $800 for this lousy art installment masquerading as an icebox! What say you to that?” “Check, credit card, or cash, buddy? That’s what say I to that.” For the rest of the day, Hi despaired. “The revolution is farther away than I thought.”

    Marmy. — Exciting, well-conceived visual. Credit where credit is due.

    MW. — “I remind him of his sister . . . whom I resemble . . . because she looks like me . . . having an appearance of a similar nature . . . there being a visual likeness between us.” “Could you clarify, dear?”

  100. Ned Ryerson
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#14): H&L – Just be glad they didn’t show us his butt crack.

    It seems to me that the waistband of the underwear is an allusion to the laborer’s butt crack trope (aka plumber’s butt). (Recall an early Saturday Night Live sketch involving the annoying Lisa Loopner [Gilda Radner] and her dweebie boy friend Todd [Bill Murray] where a repairman [Dan Akroyd] comes into the house to fix, yes, the refrigerator and many jokes are made about the repairman’s visible ass crack.) But at Walker Brown Amalgamated, they stop short of showing such and instead attempt to imply that FRIDGE employee Ralph, in his sloppy manner of dress, is likely to have wardrobe malfunctions which would frequently leave the upper regions of his butt crack exposed to the light of day.

    In the end, I think the underwear waistband is just as, if not more, creepy, not only due to its casual randomness, but also because it drew my eye to an unsettling bulge in the front of Ralph’s pants that I can’t unsee.

  101. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    MT-”But I don’t want to leave. The fishing is good and there is no Rusty always bothering me to take him fishing.”

  102. Shrug, Fauncher of Fat Fury
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions (#81):

    Dark Horse published a three-volume reprint set of all (I think) the HERBIE material a few years ago. Consultation of same might indicate if there is at least a claimed copyright by some one out there.

    http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/14-960/Herbie-Archive-Volume-1-HC
    http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/15-508/Herbie-Archives-Volume-2-HC
    http://www.darkhorse.com/Books/15-936/Herbie-Archives-Volume-3-HC

  103. casino LF
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#53): This is literally the only scenario I can think of where the Underpants Gnome business philopsophy works.

  104. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-Hi is freaked out by the two fingers and thumb on the repairman’s hand.

    Hi and Lois 2-To get out of paying the bill Hi is thinking about doing some things he hasn’t done since his college days.

  105. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#95): ooo! ooo! can it be set in the Strike Witches world?!?

  106. AhClem
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88):
    Hoogie is applying the Theory of Strategic Incompetence: If you are asked to do something, and you do it really, really poorly, you will never be asked to do it again.

  107. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    MW-This is the second time that I’ve seen Dawn eating Mary’s pie which proves to me that Dawn likes the taste of old lady pie.

  108. Marthas Rolling Pin
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#78): Re BB: Evidently, the Riverdale High School mascot who used to hang around the halls in his furry outfit graduated and decided to enlist.

  109. BeckoningChasm
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the fish is Heathcliff’s lawyer.

  110. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Willy (#Y236):

    A wormhole has swallowed Mark Trail. 20 months ago Ava was a small child, helping her mother save Mark as he washed up unconscious on the island shore. Today, Ava is fully grown with a son, and widowed.

    Wow, it’s exactly like Lost!

    (Disclaimer: I have never watched Lost.)

  111. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Fauncher of Fat Fury (#102): It’s mostly of academic interest. I’ve got my own fat fury to contend with, knowhutimean?

  112. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#107):

    It proves to me that you are made of pretty stern stuff. Very few people could see that twice – seeing it only once would make them blind!

  113. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#91): Gasoline Alley – How insensitive to mention an oven to World War II war-orphan Dondi. Wow…just wow.

    Stroker, I believe Dondi’s origin was retconned to make him a Vietnam War orphan*, so the “oven” reference no longer fits.

    *From Mary Worth’s “Peace Village” perhaps?

  114. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#112):

    The first time it was that white pie now the pie is orange.

  115. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Temporary Solution:

    For Gasoline Alley, every time this Boog kid appears and converses with someone, replace what he says with a variation of phrase.

    In this case:
    ———————————————————————————————

    Blonde Baker: “How soon do you need every thing for the bake sale, Boog?”

    Boog says:
    “You’re blinding me with Science!”

    Blonde Baker: “Well find out when, and how many- then I’ll fire up the oven.”

    Then go forth and spread the Word of Thomas Dolby to the masses! And, come back and use the phrase lovingly and hilariously in other strips. Without looking, I’m thinking it would fit in quite well in most Funky Winkerbean Anybody and Anything But Funky strips for all non- Les character dialogue.

  116. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley-And then we can start shoveling all the humans who have been holding us back into the ovens.

    FC-Aunt’s sisters? But Dolly your mother is an only child and your dad has no sisters unless you’re thinking of your uncle with that condition that is never spoken of.

    Gil Thorp-The prejudice against the Irish has finally kicked in.

  117. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#31):

    there’s an outside chance that Trixie, the youngest Flagstone, has swallowed many a magnet.

    So, this year, let’s all be thankful that Trixie isn’t stuck on the Fridge and it is just one solitary child’s drawing.

    Trixie, time for your nap! Clank!

  118. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#107): I thought the Oog Eyes were the scariest thing on today’s comic page. I was wrong. Dawn munching Mrs. Worth’s pie…

  119. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    DT – “You’re toast, Cinnamon!”

  120. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#57):

    I’ll need to do some research to see if this is indeed occurring. If the state of their relationship has changed that dramatically then the decades long promise that the strip would end in consensual double murder has been broken.

    Should this be the case then the only way to end it is to bring in the Demon Dog from Hell, Marmaduke.

    The revised gagline from the last The Lockhorns

    Husband to wife as Marmaduke is ingesting them both:
    “ ‘ How could I let it happen?’ Up until it started undeniably eating us, I was convinced your mother came for a visit!”

  121. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @fuzzmaster (#72):

    Bingo! You are so right. It tain’t a courtroom. Thanks for the clarification! You, sweet person*, are better than Claritin, or Clara Bowe!**

    Let’s be honest, the police department only wastes its resources arresting Heathcliff because the station has a terrible mouse problem, what with being located by the granary and all.

    *or, if this is more appropriate: you bitter SOB!
    ** My head is stopped up. The shortest distance between two points ain’t my head thinking.

  122. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#16): Cheap refrigerator with plastic or aluminum doors? I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point, a manufacturer has tried to introduce such a model, only to find that it flopped because magnets wouldn’t stick to it. It’s not a proper fridge if it won’t hold magnets!

  123. Shrug, Groker of Green Veg
    November 20th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88):

    “Get ready for broccoli-flavored cupcakes, kids!”

    “This is–
    the dawning –
    of the Age of –
    Asparagus!”

  124. Shrug, Spicing Up the End Times
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#119):

    “DT – “You’re toast, Cinnamon!”

    Cinnamon, cinnamon, where you gonna run to?

  125. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#34):

    Mark Trail is only a few loaves short of proving that he’s our Lord and Savior.

    I was walking through a bookstore the other day and noticed a book called “The Gluten-Free Bible.” And I thought, in that version, the miracle is just fishes, no loaves?

  126. Old Folkie
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#24): But if it’s only 12 or so starving islanders, why do they need 2 million dollars?

  127. Mibbitmaker
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Oversnarpologies… late with my own comic today….

    GA: Cutesy faces mask their dark souls… or maybe reveal them?

    MT (meta): Tsk tsk! Poor Josh, trying to get something interesting, even exciting (if gross) out of this dull, dull storyline. (Me, I think the little boy is the model for an old food product’s label. Maybe a statue Zippy the Pinhead has visited…)

    H&L: Homer Simpson: “Stupid China and America!”

    Heathcliff: “Your punishment, cat… forced participation in the Fish Slapping Dance! Guess who’s the target…?”

  128. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Mama Curtis, to make Curtis feel better, invite Trinklet for Turkey Day.

  129. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#91):
    Serious question – was Dondi Armenian? I can’t recall.

  130. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#128):
    And Cuss Skunk too!

  131. Shrug, Who As It Happens Does Not Eat Fish
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#125):

    The real miracle of the feeding of the four or five thousand was not so much making just a few loaves and fishes go around as that nobody complained –

    “I don’t eat fish.”
    “Is that WHITE bread? That stuff is poison, you know.”
    “I eat fish, but not farmed fish. Can you assure me these were free range?”
    “What about the mercury?”
    “Aren’t you at least going to trim the crusty edges off the bread first?”

    and so on.

  132. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#128): @Calico (#129):

    If you invite an Armenian over for Thanksgiving, don’t call it Turkey Day.

  133. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#129): Italian. The kid was a WWII orphan that the GI’s brought home.

  134. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#121): So true.

  135. Old Folkie
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#87): Not to mention potrzebie and MOXIE in Mad Magazine (at least in the 50s & 60s)

  136. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    The point, as always, is for Brooke McE to work out his issues. If you view his strips as art therapy gone terribly awry, they will make much more sense. Horrible, disturbing sense, but at least sense of a sort.

  137. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger (#22): That was meant as a reply to you. Don’t know what happened to the link there.

  138. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#132):
    Oh, Lordy, I know. : (
    I really need to read “The Sandcastle Girls.”

  139. UncleJeff
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#129): Italian.

  140. Calico
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Groker of Green Veg (#123):
    Ramsay’s recipe for broccoli soup (really):
    broccoli
    broccoli
    broccoli
    broccoli
    broccoli
    And a little salt and pepper

    McEwan’s tips on grilling fish:
    clean grill
    get it nice and hot
    rub olive oil on grill
    grill fish
    Yum!

  141. Anonymous
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#125): “The rice-and-quinoa artisanal peasant loaf that I break is my body, nutritionally corrected for you”?

  142. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who As It Happens Does Not Eat Fish (#131):

    “John the Baptist used to spread the peanut butter all the way to the edge of the bread.”

  143. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#141): 141 was me, dammit.

  144. Dr. Weird
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105):

    If it was an all-comics wide crossover in the Strike Witches, that means we’d see a LOT of characters in uniforms that have no pants. There are only a small handful who can pull that off. Blondie, sure, but Dagwood? Mark Trail?

  145. Revenge of Chesnut
    November 20th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @fuzzmaster (#72): Sure, that makes SENSE, but I prefer to imagine that Heathcliff has been rendered to a black site by some kind of paramilitary police force. These unidentified agents stage show trials utilizing the “enhanced interrogation” techniques of bombarding detainees with terrible puns and inexplicable props until they break. A lady can dream, right?

  146. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Apropos of nothing, but why am I getting an advertisement for private jets on this site? Is it because I read Judge Parker?

    Luann: I like how Evans has decided to show Quill shirtless in an attempt to show that’s it’s getting toward Summer down in Australia. It initially looks as if he’s putting on a strip show for Luann instead.

    “Sorry, yank,” (of course it’s “yank”, they always call us Americans “yank”. Luann should be calling him yank instead) “but it’s going to take $3 to continue this conversation.”

  147. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff-And this was the fish he used to slap John Cleese and Michael Palin.

  148. billman
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#49):

    The final answer for all the questions is labelled “a)”. All questions about Canada, eh. Get it, eh?

  149. Droopy Says
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Dartpaw86 (#94): Can the our new alien masters come from David Brin’s Uplift stories? Please? With luck we’d get conquered by the Tymbrimi, a race best known for its sense of humor. They could improve us to the point where everyone realizes that legacy strips aren’t funny. The uplift work might take a few thousand years, which means that the next Judge Parker story won’t have time to play out, but it would be worth it.

  150. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#68): Plus, without the Thesaurus, Brooke would have had to stick with “see” or even “recognize” in panel 2, instead of the execrable “descry” for today’s word salad.

    Execrable? Pish tosh! How can you, in good conscience, denigrate “descry”, and yet use a word like “execrable”? Dr. Box, this is rebarbative double-plus ungood!

    Descry is a gorgeous, splendid, refulgent word. It’s used in the KJV (Judges 1:22). Shakespeare used it. Spenser, Burton, and Emerson used it.

    I am coming ’round gradually to the view that McEldowney is a cartoonist manqué, but descry is groovy.

  151. Chip Whittle
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#49):

    Frazz: Okay, I’m on low-battery brain power today; can someone explain this?

    You’ll slap your head when you notice. The letters in the multiple-choice quiz are not in alphabetical order. (The questions are irrelevant, besides being about Canada, and the answers have nothing to do with the joke.)

  152. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

  153. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88): “Get ready for broccoli-flavored cupcakes, kids!”

    If I’m not mistaken, Bourbon Babe has a good recipe for that.

  154. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger (#39): I was thinking that FOO was short for the venerable GI acronym FUBAR.

  155. Shrug, Loafing About
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (Pastordan, actually) (#141):

    The Western Schism actually came about because of theological disputes over the use of Italian vs. French bread in church basement socials. (Bagel fanciers had of course already been excommunicated.)

  156. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    MT-I like the way Mark is eyeing the Widow Chavez. He’s in the mood for something that smells like fish, taste likes fish, but isn’t fish.

  157. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#152): There was a similar rannygazzoo over the request of recovering alcoholic Catholics to be allowed to use non-alcoholic wine for the Eucharist.

    // The answer, of course, was “no”.

  158. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#148): & @Chip Whittle (#151): Thanks! (Even with explanations, it still took me a while. Must be Idjit Tuesday for me.)

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#153): Roast ALL the vegetables!

  159. Uncle Lumpy
    November 20th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#158):

    Roast ALL the vegetables!

    All of them!!! Leave none alive!!!

  160. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150):

    Do I descry a reflugent ambience of sarcasm in your screed? Perhaps your wit is embarking upon the danse of the mortise and tenon with your cynicism?

  161. CanuckDownSouth
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#157): Hmmm, the real problem is for a recovering alcoholic (no consecrated wine) who also has severe gluten intolerance (rendering even low-gluten wafer options impossible). Everyone else could, in a pinch, just go with the other option, one would think.

  162. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-The four hundred dollars is for the repairman’s prosthetics so he can use tools designed for people with normal hands instead of those flipper hands of his.

  163. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150): And without the word “descry,” what would we call it when you want to undo a bad session of crystal-gazing?

  164. Dawn W.
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#142): Dave did that, too.

  165. Shrug, Radish-Rousing
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#159):

    ” Roast ALL the vegetables!

    All of them!!! Leave none alive!!!”

    ****
    KILL THEM ALL — LET LAGASSE SORT THEM OUT!

  166. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#163):

    Call it what you want, you still owe Crystal payment in full.

  167. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    @Dawn W. (#164):

    Yes, but when Dave spread your peanut butter all the way to the edge, it stuck to the roof of his mouth. And it didn’t leave you ready for Mary’s jelly.

  168. Dartpaw86
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): @Droopy Says (#149):

    Those would be fun, though to be honest I never heard of either of those. Thank you Wikipedia :D

  169. Johann Sebastian Cock
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Look at that last panel of Gasoline Alley. Just look at it. Divorce it from context, and try to imagine that there is any scenario that goes with that image and those words that works unless she’s talking about delicious, tender, human children. It might have taken us a century or so to figure it out, but Gasoline Alley is a cookbook. A COOKBOOK!!!

  170. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Luann— Let’s review what happens to a guy once Luann is semi-attracted (that’s as far as she will go) to him: 1) Aaron, sent to Hawaii; 2) South American exchange student guy (I forget his name), sent home; 3) Ben, the Army stud, sent far, far away; 4) Quill, sent back to Australia. This is a tiresome trend, and Evans needs to figure out some new plots.

    What about Gunther, you ask? He is not in the needs-to-be-sent-away category because Luann has never been even semi-attracted to him. However, she does like Gunther enough to favor him with pity celibacy.

    Now, if we could only return to the scintillating adventures of everyone’s favorite ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan, Bernice, we could start enjoying this strip again.

  171. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    MT – Panel 2: Ava looks on in horror at the alien kid!

  172. bunivasal
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    I think the fish is evidence. Heathcliff’s typical crimes include knocking over the trash (to the chagrin of the garbage men), stealing milk (to the chagrin of the milkman) and stealing fish (to the chagrin of the old-timey fishmonger with the handlebar mustache).

  173. Shrug, Who's Zed What Needs to Be Zed
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#170):

    “Now, if we could only return to the scintillating adventures of everyone’s favorite ravenously incestuous bisexual harridan, Bernice, we could start enjoying this strip again.”

    Actually, whatever happened to Bernice’s former boyfriend-in-a-wheelchair, Zane? One moment she was planning to marry him, and seemingly soon thereafter he vanished. If we were told why, I’ve forgotten. (My theory is that he had to go down to some local government office to renew a document of some sort, and when he got there everyone was told to line up in alphabetical order, and he’s still waiting in line.)

  174. Alison
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Canuckamuck (#73):
    Man, that picture never gets old. I love it.

    “Mark Trail”: “What a great friend you are! This is fun! Too bad you have to leave when we, you know, finish kidnapping you!” God damn this arc is impossibly messed up.

    “Luann”: CYBERSEX! …No, wait, just more pointless conversations about semi-relationships going around in circles. At least we get to see Puddles today.

  175. Beetle Bumstead
    November 20th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: OK, Lizard Boy with the tongue doesn’t bother me as much as the humanoid figures with the diagonal lines blocked out in the back. Are those there because the colorists who woke up and said, “They want me to color in what? Fuck this shit!” or are they deliberately there to mess up our minds?

  176. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#160): By Grabthar’s Hammer, that’s more like it! Avaunt with the floccinaucinihilipilification of erudition! May my nadgers be bogled, I’d rather sleep the fabled Odin-sleep on an inflatable coccyx rather than eschew my Peter Paul Roget.

  177. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#161): Sed nescio quo modo nihil tam absurde dici potest quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosophorum.
    There is nothing so ridiculous that some philosopher has not said it. Cicero

    // Applies to religion as well.

  178. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 20th, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#152): A Jewish friend of mine would say: “Oh, Jesus! This gives me a stomach ache.”

  179. Mr. O'Malley
    November 20th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#113): How did they find a little Italian orphan in Vietnam? Or did they change his name to Duong Duy?

  180. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 20th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Luann Okay, I will begrudginly accept that Quill wants to get this “party” started with Luann. All I can say is there must be limited options for him in the “outback.” Maybe just kangaroos. He’ll be really disappointed when he finds out Luann has a pouch, too.

  181. Dondi & Queenie
    November 20th, 2012 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    I am all things to all people just as I am an orphan of every war.

  182. Liam
    November 20th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-This story can only end with the coach forming a mob to run Terry and his family out of town and to burn down the tattoo parlor again.

  183. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 20th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    MW I can only guess why I would notice something like this, but Dawn hasn’t eaten any of the slice of pie Mary gave her. She’s just been pushing it around on the plate.
    My guess is that this is the most interesting thing happening in Charterstone.

    A3J If it’s 4:00 am, then why doesn’t Greg have bed head? Boy, I could use some of that hair gel. Truth is, I could use some of that hair.

  184. mary!
    November 20th, 2012 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: josh, i didn’t think it possible, but you might be watching too much x-files.

  185. Mustang
    November 20th, 2012 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#67): Okay. Thank you for making me laugh.

  186. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    Josh finds him creepy, but I think Tongue Kid is the best. “Hey, there, what’s up. Me? Oh, I’m great. Just gonna eat this fish, live on an idyllic island. How about you? Reading Mark Trail, you say? That’s great. Look, the fish and I gotta go. You take care. Good luck with that Mark Trail thing.”

  187. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who’s Zed What Needs to Be Zed (#173) Asked, re: Luann— “Actually, whatever happened to Bernice’s former boyfriend-in-a-wheelchair, Zane?”

    The answer is here. Who is nutty enough (besides us) to keep up with all of this stuff?

  188. Perky Bird
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    I have no doubt Avery will succeed at becoming a “trout bum.” He already has many of the characteristics of a fish’s anus: He’s small, round, and full of crap.

  189. Mr K Martin
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Is it just me or does it look like Hi’s eyes are glaring directly at the repairman’s visible undies? If so, this would be the edgiest move from Walker Enterprises since “Beetle Bailey’s Belly Button Box”.

  190. Sgt. Stoned
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    DT: Don’t look now, but Dick Tracy is beginning to run a superhero/supervillian storyline. So far the action is more exciting than anything that has run in the Spider-Man strip…ever.

  191. Fat Bass Turd
    November 20th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#188): Sounds like my kind of guy.

  192. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Just because it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all month.

    http://dumbwaystodie.com

    Set fire to your hair
    Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
    Eat medicines that’s out of date
    Use your private parts as piranha bait

    Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

    Get your toast out with a fork
    Do your own electrical work
    Teach yourself how to fly
    Eat a two week old unrefrigerated pie

    Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

    Invite a psycho-killer inside
    Scratch a drug dealer’s brand new ride
    Take your helmet off in outer space
    Use your clothes dryer as a hiding place

    Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

    Keep a rattlesnake as pet
    Sell both the kidneys on the internet
    Eat a tube of superglue
    “I wonder what’s this red button do?”

    Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

    Dress up like a moose during hunting season
    Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
    Stand on the edge of a train station platform
    Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing
    Run across the tracks between the platforms
    They may not rhyme but they’re quite possibly

    the dumbest ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

  193. Droopy Says
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#187): Who is nutty enough (besides us) to keep up with all of this stuff?

    You do realize that you just implied Greg Evans isn’t nutty.

  194. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus (#186):
    You are so right.

    We are just reading Mark Trail. That little hungry lad is eating dinner with Mark Trail!

    Hell. Mark Trail is cooking dinner for that guy! I don’t know about you, but, Mark Trail ain’t done nothing for me!

  195. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#192): Be warned; that song is irresistibly catchy, and you may find yourself doing the little dance that goes with it, too.

    //In other news, that’s what the average Australian accent actually sounds like, and not the “G’die mite” crap that rode into the country on Crocodile Dundee’s croc-tooth hat. Yes, I am looking at YOU, Greg Evans.

    //I liked the movie, and Hogan, but none of the Australians I know speak like him – none.

  196. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Hell!
    We are reading Mark Trail and reading about that kid having dinner with Mark Trail!

    Who’d da chump now? We da chump!

    That li’l guy can have a half circle floating above his mouth all day long as far as I’m concerned. He’s earned it.

    Now, eat up, so that you can grow up and protect your island’s domesticated farm animals, young man! If you eat well then you’ll grow a pair of the Fists O’ Animal Husbandry and Shinbones of Sheparditude.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#195): Be warned; that song is irresistibly catchy, and you may find yourself doing the little dance that goes with it, too.

    Too late.

    I’m already working on converting the chords to ukulele.

  198. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#152): We have the same problems here in Wisconsin. A colleague once told me he nearly inherited a Catholic family: their daughter was severely gluten-intolerant, and the diocese had to parse so many angels on the head of a pin to decide if a non-wheaten host was acceptable (actually, the minimum amount of wheat needed) that they nearly said “fuck it” and walked across the street to his church.

    I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t want anyone to die by taking communion. Just a guess.

  199. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#150): Did Emerson, Lake and Palmer use it too?

  200. tallyHO
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    Someday, if that little Rusty Replacement grows up and in that time learns to become literate, perhaps he will write a best selling memoir called, “My Dinners with Mark”.

    Let us hope it describes why Mark took Rusty Replacement on many fishing trips and documents how Mark taught him how to re-purpose the Fists O’ Justice into the Fists O’ Fishsmacking!

    Oh.
    Don’t get me wrong. I don’t even the tot and his plate of fish. As far as we know it he is forced to eat fish everyday of the week. But, for this one day, at least for this one day, that child–whose clipart may never be used again in representing Rusty Replacement–is a happy child.

    Isn’t that what makes Thanksgiving Week Comic Strips great? To see happy and content characters staring out at us, licking their chops….

    and, and….goodgod. He’s looking right at us. Now that it occurs to me, he’s actually mocking this comic strip.

    Excuse me as I wipe a tear from my eye. snf!
    He’s mocking the comic strip, the very premise of today’s installment. Sigh. He’s one of us.

    One of us.
    One of us.
    One of us.

  201. beltsander
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @randy (#38):
    It seems that the copy should have read he was paying $800 to repair something that only costs $400, which would have made the joke make more sense.

  202. Dartpaw86
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#105): @Droopy Says (#149):

    Actually I was more thinking towards syndicated comic strips. I wasn’t counting Manga and Novels. Sorry. But then again this idea was just for fun so anything goes :D throw in whatever fictional world you want. I believe in the theory that all fiction is reality within separate dimensions.

  203. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#198): I’m pretty sure Jesus didn’t want anyone to die by taking communion.

    But, if one did die, while or especially because of taking communion, that would mean pretty much instant heaven, sitting right side o’ Jesus, wouldn’t it? So all these gluten alergic folks ought to quit their whining and count their blessings.

    // Wish I were anaphyrexic, darn it. Can’t catch a break.

    // “Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die,
    Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die.”

    Rana was right.

  204. debussy fields
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    MW– Dawn, if you want us to truly believe that you’re enjoying your freedom, why don’t you fuckin’ smile once every ten days or so?

  205. Peanut Gallery
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): Aw heck, it’s not all that catchy.

    (Twenty minutes later…)

    ♪ ♫ Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to…
    Curse you, Melbourne Metro Trains!

  206. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#203): “Count your many blessings, count them one wheeze-by-gasp…Count your urk-urk-thud.”

  207. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#144): yes, but think of how fast Evans and Brooke MacElwhacky would be to draw their various Mary Sues as Strike Witches.

    Tiffany and Edda fighting over who gets to be Hanna-Justina Marseille with the loser being Perrine, Bernice getting a second visit from the Puberty Fairy and getting to be Lynnette Bishop, etc.

    and no, Satori does NOT get to be Mio. full stop.

    also, every Strike Witches season/movie features naval examples of “how the monster works” and Overboard would be *perfect* for the role of “watch the Neuroi carve apart the ships”.

    plus imagine Dean, Lio and the cast of IP, fighting aliens together? win.

  208. Baka Gaijin
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#170): “Pity celibacy.” Truly descriptive and truly entertaining phrase.

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#183) on Apartment 3-G: Greg doesn’t get bed head because his hair is molded plastic, you know, like on a Ken doll.

  209. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#205): The group actually has the awesome cool name, “Tangerine Kitty”.

    // I is gobsmacked.

  210. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#192):

    words fail me.

    *gobsmacked at the WIN*

  211. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

  212. Amykins
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    Let me get this straight…a federal judge is wasting his time indicting a CAT on theft charges. Huh, explains a lot about the state of our judicial system.

  213. Xanadude
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    So, Rex Morgan is crossing over with Apt. 3 Double D?

  214. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Amykins (#212): How do you figure it’s a Federal judge? Looks like police court to me – note uniform cap.

    // dumb ways to die… NO STOP IT!

  215. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @Johann Sebastian Cock (#169): Look at that last panel of Gasoline Alley. Just look at it. Divorce it from context, and try to imagine that there is any scenario that goes with that image and those words that works unless she’s talking about delicious, tender, human children. It might have taken us a century or so to figure it out, but Gasoline Alley is a cookbook. A COOKBOOK!!!

    No, “To Serve Man” is a cookbook. Gasoline Alley is an ABOMINATION.

  216. cheech wizard
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    MW – “I remind him of his late sister – whom I resemble.”

    And with whom he used to fornicate. Instead of some platitudes, Mary ought to spring for an HBO subscription for this chick. Dawn could learn a lot of things from “Game of Thrones,” although precise English probably isn’t among them.

  217. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 20th, 2012 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#216): Worthian words: “Hear me meddle!”

  218. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): I think I like little double-kidney donor’s dance the best.

  219. CanuckDownSouth
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#216): what’s absolutely hilarious is that Dawn binged on GoT while mooning over Dave, yet she hasn’t made the connection to Jim’s squickiness!

  220. Rusty
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    H and L: Why does the fridge have a storm door on it? Nice mouth breathing on the repairman in panel one.

  221. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#188):

    COTW worthy!

    At the very least, you should make the float!

  222. Nomstrosity
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois: “Can you explain why even though I just said the repair price was $400, the bill in my hand reads $800?”
    “Comics written in America, art produced in China.”

  223. Jamus The Bartender
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#3): Amen to that, queek. Amen and hallelujah.

  224. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    Well, I’m back and looking at Ripley’s

    The N5NI bird flu virus has killed tens of millions of birds and would require only five genetic changes to potentially do the same to humans!

    The good news is that it would be confined to Westview.

  225. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: <B.C. Clam> DOGS AND CHICKENS GOT THERMOSTATS! </B.C. Clam>

  226. Sequitur
    November 20th, 2012 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#208): That’s not molded plastic, that’s bear fat.

    //This goes back to an old episode of Bonanza where Little Joe asks an Indian girl how she gets her hair so shiny. She replies, “Bear fat.” Yeah, me likem them classics.

  227. Sequitur
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    By the way Baka, I just got back from Florida and found yet another place for you to avoid.

  228. Sequitur
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    Stop me now! Before I eclipse Poteet’s record of consecutive posts!

  229. Sequitur
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    I’m out of control I tell ya!

  230. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#227):

    I’m not sure as to which I hate more – clowns or mimes….

    But I do wish they’d establish a nation-wide mime hunting season.

    As a rule, I don’t like to kill living beings, but I can make some exceptions.

    // Some folks are scared by clowns. Not me. I just hate them.

  231. Dr. Weird
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Nomstrosity (#222):

    H&L

    Maybe Hi was showing off the original bill for the fridge to make his point it only cost $800. Though since it was probably purchased in 1959, that does seem a bit steep.

  232. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#229):

    SWTICH TO DECAF DUDE!!

  233. Sequitur
    November 21st, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

  234. cheech wizard
    November 21st, 2012 at 1:16 am [Reply]

    @Amykins (#212): Well, the current backlog of judicial appointments would go a long way toward explaining why Marmaduke is still at (very) large.

  235. Droopy Says
    November 21st, 2012 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland:Parker isn’t going to stand there and hurl baseless accusations? Has he finally realized how absurd he’s been? Wait, he’d ather go off and talk to himself. Spiderman, the world’s most neurotic superhero.

    Flunky Whatisit: That’s comparatively funny.

    Mock Trail: If you want to get rid of Trail, the easy way is to release him after you collect the ransom. Unless this is Special Ed Island, the people will expect the kidnap victim to depart then. You could kill him now, of course, but while that might earn the gratitude of a Trail-weary world, even the dimmest Editorbillellis is likely to balk at ransoming a corpse. And I’m almost certain that Editorbillellis could tell the difference between a live Mark Trail and a dead one.

    Jugs Parker: Let’s see, Avery is going to leave behind the business that makes him wealthy and forces people to deal with him as though they like him, and spend his life in an isolated lodge at the end of a dirt road as he harrasses a woman he just met into tolerating his unspeakable sexual appetites. Despite the fact that he will be out of the loop on everything in Hollywood, he expects people to come to him to make deals. I actually like this plan. It means that when Bubba returns, Avery won’t have been able to arrange his solar plant deal. Bubba will kill him and use him for fertilizer, growing the wackiest weed ever.

    Family Circus: Oh, great, Jeffy thinks he’s found a winning strategy for the Olympic projectile-vomiting event.

    Flatulence Alley: The argument that Boog and Hoog are aliens gains further credence, as the astronomy club decides to take a special interest in him. Pity the rocket club hasn’t noticed him yet.

    Pluggers: So Pluggers wll spend a fortune on a cable box, a DVD and VHS player, and a sound system, but won’t spring for a new TV? Next on Geraldo: Pluggers and the idiocies that define them.

  236. Dale
    November 21st, 2012 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Robbing tourists of whatever they have with them, killing them and leaving their bodies for the scavengers is fairly straightforward. (You don’t always have to kill your victims, but this is a small area and population to hide in.)

    This must be Otto’s first try at serious kidnapping and he hasn’t thought about the details. Otto has to keep Mark alive until the ransom arrives. After that, if Otto trades Mark for the money, the villagers have no expectation of seeing Mark again.

  237. Dale
    November 21st, 2012 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#235):

    Typing while you were posting.

    How does this deal work? Otto doesn’t release Mark until he’s examined the money. Bill shouldn’t hand over the money until he has Mark.
    Best plan for Otto: Capture Bill and whoever comes with him (Cherry, Kelly), take whatever they have, kill them or hold them for ransom.

  238. Droopy Says
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#237): There are only two things wrong with your plan: you don’t include “kill Rusty” and “kill Doc.” Otherwise it’s quite brilliant.

  239. tallyHO
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Sometimes the easiest solution is to just add water. But, if Otto doesn’t just dump Mark’s body out into the sea, then what he could do to achieve his goal of getting rid of Mark without anyone realizing is simple enough.

    He should force Mark to grow facial hair. Then give Mark a mirror.

    Now, it might take a while for Mark to begin to not trust himself enough that he starts trying to take down the rabid-looking bad guy he sees while brushing his teeth but when the Fists O’ Justice start flying….

    well, let’s just say that Mark will take care of Otto’s problem by taking care of himself.

  240. tallyHO
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    I can’t see how this is going to work out. apt3G</b seems to be setting up that the leading man is going to work with the actress that Evan stole from the agency he works at and delivered to his “aunt”, Cathy, also known as, Snugglebunny.

    So, if extrapolation is in order: Margo finds out and Evan gets fired for pooching Margo’s hot star, and for poaching Margo’s client.

    What I don’t get is the aging hipster director saying, “You two will make beautiful murder together.”

    Most likely it refers to the roles in the movie, sure. But, is the writing in this strip so clever that they would use foreshadowing? Will there end up being a murder in Apartment 3G?

  241. Dale
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#238):

    Tnx. Just trying to build some street cred.

    Doc is harmless. Like Hyacinth Bucket’s father, he once had a brilliant mind. Now, he just knows how to make coffee.

    Rusty is truly a special case. He can find the dock and see water, but can’t fish on his own. He will die a natural death from trying to live on lichens and gravel.

  242. tallyHO
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    Sorry. I was emboldened to write that.

    So, how will Slylock Fox celebrate Thanksgiving. I could see him catching the bird himself…catching the turkey after he broke into some animal’s car and is denying that he was the culprit. The scene would show Ted Turkey lying while the bulldog policeman stands there scratching his chin and while Max stares at a pothole with his magnifying glass and while Slylock does what Slylock does poses in his cape and suit.

    family circus Are Jeffy and Dolly twins or do they just have a different father?

    pluggers Funny. I expected that Pluggers would be preparing the pyre for the communal Thanksgiving sacrifice.

    blondie sooooo, Dagwood wants to smell scrumptious? to smell good enough to eat? Oh, my Gosh, my Golly! Dagwood is the Cinnamon Knight!

    spider-man
    An Amish thief? That is incongruous. How did an Amish guy get to Vegas? Did he steal the money to catch a plane home?

    dennis the menace next, Dennis is going to ask if it will be alright drop a live turkey from a helicopter so it can fly down and gently land onto the Wilson’s rooftop while the Wilsons are sleeping.

  243. tallyHO
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    mary worth missing panel three:

    Dawn: However, I will not be restricted by your death, Mary! When you are gone, I will finally be free of eating your pie on a daily basis. Then I will live a meddle-free life!

    //seriously, is Dawn’s rationalization about why she won’t hook up with Jim coming across as mixed signals? One day she says she isn’t ready for another relationship (probably because of Dave) and the next she says she just wants to be friends (which should put the kibosh on any chance Jim has, right? or am I wrong, ladies?) and now she says Jim being hung up on Merry and Dawn’s uncanny resemblance is a “restriction” like him being afraid of her special place, (not that one, fellas) the pier.

    Maybe Mary is gonna lay down the law on Dawn. Let’s hope it is that simple and comic strip-safe.

  244. tallyHO
    November 21st, 2012 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    damn!

    I can close a window. I can close a door. But, somehow I can’t remember to close the HTML tags!

    Everything I’m posting has a draft (quality to it)!

  245. Droopy Says
    November 21st, 2012 at 4:22 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#242): The evidence is off-panel, but it turns out the Amish thief in Spiderman had just stolen a butterfly net so he could catch a plane. It was also the sight of the butterfly net which caused Spiderman to flee so quickly (a joke so old only a Plugger would get it. I’m beginning to suspect a Stan Lee/Brookins connection.)

  246. Amykins
    November 21st, 2012 at 5:41 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#234):

    Heh, kind of puts the term “kangaroo court” in an entirely new perspective, doesn’t it?

  247. gleeb
    November 21st, 2012 at 6:43 am [Reply]

    Slylock: Is this an oblique clue that it was Harry Ape that Slick Smitty was trying to frame in the recent soup-throwing trial?

    ‘shaft: An old, lonely woman has taken to the bottle, and it’s funny!

    ‘bean: In a clever twist today, Owen is shown to be an idiot, but at least he has an answer to a direct question. A stupid answer that completely missed the point of the question, but after all, he is an idiot. I’m learning so much about this deeply nuanced character this week. It’s so much better than a week of zombie gags from his crappy marching and comic days would have been.

    Rex: These ladies need to learn that it’s the solar (pot) farm/trout lodge business where all the money is.

  248. Owen
    November 21st, 2012 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    Personally, I honestly think Tongue Kid is the most normal, human looking character I’ve ever seen in Mark Trail.

    I can’t see anything other than a child licking his lips at the thought of delicious food. In fact, I think it’s a surprisingly good example of expressive cartooning.

  249. Atheist amongst the flock
    November 21st, 2012 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#49): I took it to mean he can bull shit on essay answers.

  250. Atheist amongst the flock
    November 21st, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#250): Oops, silly me. I went to today’s instead of yesterday.

  251. Vince M
    November 21st, 2012 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    @Johann Sebastian Cock (#169): Maybe she’s got Witch Hazel’s cookbook from that Chuck Jones cartoon with recipes like “Kiddie Kippers – Waif Waffles – Smorgas Boy”.

  252. Alex Blaze
    November 21st, 2012 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Even worse for Heathcliff, this is apparently a justice system where the cops are literally judge, jury, and executioner. If the fish was the previous defendant – arraigned, tried, sentenced, and executed in under 5 minutes – Heathcliff’d better watch out; whatever he did was surely worse than what the fish did, plus he has the disadvantage of being less lovable.

  253. Vince M
    November 21st, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    @Owen (#249): I dunno, I always found that tongue signifier thing to be kind of creepy – I mean it doesn’t normally exist outside 1950s magazine ad art.
    But I agree, still the most normal, human-looking character seen in Mark Trail.

  254. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 21st, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Doons: aaaaaand the anvil returns. I prefer the scalpel, but Trudeau doesn’t use it as often as he used to.

    A&J: response.

    Lio: aaaaaaaaaayup! my thoughts exactly.

    PBS: heeeeeeee!

  255. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 21st, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . .when she plays with your stick and balls.

    too easy.

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