Metapost: Serial comics and experimental music: Two great tastes that go great together
You all of course remember faithful reader Les’s stunning Gil Thorp-themed composition from a few weeks ago. Well, apparently creating non-traditional music based on cheesy old comic strips is now all the rage in certain segments of the musical community! I hereby present to you this genius work from faithful reader Ben, entitled “My Compulsion To Help Others.” It’s based on Mary Worth’s infamous flashback monologue:
And with that, I wish you a happy weekend!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
And now I am irrevocably insane.
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:09 pm
My kingdom for a non-work filtered internet!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
That is wonderfully weird, Josh.
I forgot that she said “To quote a wise person”. Glad that she wasn’t quoting a stupid person.
Have a good weekend Josh. Rest up those snarking muscles.
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I can’t go on. I must go on. I can’t go on.
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Yikes!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Looking back makes me feel nostalgic, in the same way that looking ahead makes me feel progressive.
That’s a seriously great video: more, please!
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
#4 Kate –
Oh, go on: I can’t go on. I’ll go on. At least I know that my heart will go on! And that’s a mercy, anyhow.
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
#7 -
Oh.
God.
No.
Buuck buuck buck!
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Not quite as awesome as the Gil Thorp video, but still very nice, and it matches the video friggin’ perfectly.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Congrats, Ben, for making this year’s hit J-horror film! “THE COMPULSION” …starring Mary Worth as both the creepy lurking child, and the woman trying to repress her.
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:30 pm
This is Niall in Ireland… I decided to check the net a bit… and boy, what a find!!
Fantastic video, and hilarious. :)
Ireland is.. FANTASTIC!! Found some scenery that literally took my breath away (Gougan Barra, for example), with sites that are so steeped in history I stare at the mountains and can actually almost imagine the resonances of the people who have stood in the same spot hundreds, then thousands of years ago.
Soon it will be time to go dancing in Ennis. For now, off to find a pub.
(Also, black pudding and white pudding are tasty!)
Niall
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Referring to current story line… I’m not a huge fan of the MW art, but Jeff is without a doubt a better-looking guy than Mr. Ron Dimple-Chin. Mary, think of our eyes!
May 23rd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
A3G: Ruby and Aristotle glance at each other knowingly, as they both realize that humoring Lu Ann delusion that she’s a talented artist is getting more and more difficult.
DT: Wait, wanting to be the best detective there is makes her want to work with Dick Tracy? I don’t remember Sherlock Holmes throwing people off buildings, or hooking them up to torture machines.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:00 pm
“Dinner at the Bum Boat” is their code for anal sex and Mary’s getting fed up with the messy santorum from their kinky bum boat excursions. That’s understandable but she never lets Jeff enter through the front door and outside of Palmetta and Fistina, the “Bum Boat” is all the loving the pathetic doctor can get. As for Ron needing her more than Jeff, so do stray dogs. Doc Jeff is at the very bottom of Mary’s scrotum pole and Mistress Mary will need to put him in his place next Bum Boat adventure. .
Ponytail evildoer sure gives up easily. He’s also grabbing his forehead when Mark’s haymaker roundhouse right fist o’ justice hit him squarely in the jaw. I guess the aching jaw has given him a headache.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
This video is so art-house…yet so Mary…and scary…it’s meddle-rific! I’m strangely disturbed! Bravo, Ben.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Umm, anonymous is me!
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT “JUDGE PARKER” BUT WERE AFRAID OR TOO LAZY TO ASK
It’s been in my paper longer than I’ve been alive; it’s the last “serious strip” holdout if you don’t count Prince Valiant, which only appears Sundays (is there a daily Valiant? I don’t think so).
The strip used to be about several couples at once, including the actual Judge Parker, but the cast was dwindled down to Sam and Abbey over the years, who were not married and hadn’t adopted yet. Sophie originally appeared as a very young (non-brainiac) girl with the grossest haircut I’ve ever seen on a comic strip character.
Compared to most other comic strip couples, who tied the knot decades ago, Sam and Abbey were rather late. They didn’t get married until January 1, 2000 (because the date was significant, I guess). Yes, Sam signed a pre-nup in an earlier strip. Not only that, he remarked “Looks like with this, I become the richest man in the county.” Hmm….
The weeks leading up to the wedding were rather bizarre. Some crazy guy was holding some people hostage with a bomb, then Sophie wandered in and got stuck with the hostages, then a reporter came in and got stuck too, then they found out the bomb was a phony, then as they were leaving he pulled out a second bomb, and everyone said “Yeah, right” and then THAT one turned out to be real; he actually set it off and the building fell and everyone died. Then Sophie woke up in her flower girl outfit and said to Neddy right before the wedding, “I just had the strangest dream!” In other words we barely saw Sam and Abbey from engagement to marriage, which was odd.
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
#17 I think that was because Sam and Abbey were engaged or had an “Understanding” starting in about 1966, which may have been before you were born.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
FOOB: I’ve been avoiding this strip for quite some time because of, uh oh, urgh, urgh, urp, bloRP, BLORP, BLEAGH!!! Huh, huh, huhhhh, where was I? Pulling my head out the toilet, but why? It’s a lot less nauseating that reading FOOB.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Oliver Reed and Alan Bates wrestling naked in front of the fire in Women in Love. Weed and Michael wrestling fully clothed in front of their women in FOOB. Thank God for small favors.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
In A3G, I believe Aristotle and Ruby are supposed to be ‘exchanging a knowing look.’ Or maybe their cyborg necks have just gone haywire. Six of one…
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Old guy: Believe it or not, they became engaged in 1998. It happened in real time for once.
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
#22–re: Judge Parker (Sam and Abby)
Yeah, and then their honeymoon lasted almost an entire freaking year!
May 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Apt3G I know Luanne is an addle brained dimwit, (note: is that redundant redundant?) but I’d like to think no actual grown up on this planet refers to his or her parents as “Mama and Daddy”. I did as a kid, but opted for Mom and Dad in later years. And don’t say it’s a Southern thing. I still say yes ma’am to my mom, but I call her mom.
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm
20. Dingo: great. There was an image I didn’t need. Between references to Women in Love and yesterthread Tracey’s “Ennis and Jake” comment, I guess it is the season of the inevitable sequel:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2517230202/
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
# 25 bats — BWAHAHAHA!
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Are John Cage and Roy Lichtenstein dead yet, so they can spin in their graves?
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Thanks for watching, everybody! This was a lot of fun to make. Just my way of saying thanks for all the entertainment this place has given me over the last year. I’m planning a couple more in this vein, I do hope you’ll watch them when I finish them.
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
That was an interesting video, Ben. Where was the live footage shot?
May 23rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
So does this mean we’ll be racking up comments on this same thread all weekend? Of course many Mudges have lives, and presumably will be too busy riding to hounds, attending orgies, helping the sick and poor, or writing great novels to post here. Anyway, hope you have a great weekend, Josh!
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
#25 bats :[ – It was inevitable, really, but it was the “MANY LESS-IMPORTANT CHARACTERS” bit that made me crack up.
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
i will repeat my Dennis The Menace suggestion:
http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg205/fozzetti/DTM5-23.jpg
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Ben, that was Brilliant!
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:45 pm
I have a sudden and probably explicable urge to watch kabuki.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Why, after this video is done playing, does YouTube suggest as a “related” video “Oil Massage,” five minutes of an attractive, young, bikini-clad, busty Japanese woman getting rubbed all over with oil while soft music plays?
Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I’d just like to know how this is supposed to be related to Mary Worth, so I know whether or not to be disgusted.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 pm
(sound of mind melting and begging for mercy)
and what youtube _should_ suggest as related:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0ukMn0eWLQ
(I can think of half a dozen strips that Hamburer lady would make a great background for).
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Groovy stuff. Probably shouldn’t have eaten all that acid, though.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
MT – That li’l puppy sure looks tired and happy. She must be mighty relieved to have this long ordeal come to an end. Either that or she just spent six hours locked up with a randy St. Bernard.
DT – So, when does the insect burst out of this woman and attack Tracy?
DtM – Today’s episode is an example of why I wish Dennis was in a panel format, so we could see him and Joey gently gnawing into Mr. Wilson’s brainpan for the tender, pink stuff inside.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Why not just see a counselor, yesterthread asks of “Mary Worth”?
Well… seeing a counselor would cost someone money, whereas getting advice from Mary would cost someone a piece of their soul.
So, yeah… they’re better off with the counselor.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Awesome video.
There should be, like, some sort of manifesto for making music on the comics. A website. A compilation CD. A public falling out with strong personalities within the group. A festival in Colorado. NEH grants.
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:23 pm
I summarized the latest Dick Tracy storyline hereand jazzed it up with color. I hope you like it.
May 23rd, 2008 at 10:41 pm
25: bwa-ha^5
I always preferrered this as a sequel
http://img47.imageshack.us/img47/6084/brokeback25lt.jpg
May 24th, 2008 at 12:17 am
# 24 Bootsy –
But Bootsy darlin’, you are in the minority on this point here in Greater Metropolitan Roopville ( though I agree, it’s good to call your parents mom and dad.) I know a lot of adult people here in the South who still refer to their parents as “Mama and Daddy”.
As in, “I’m going over t’ Mama’s for Sunday dinner and load up on the ham and the black-eyed peas like you ain’t teasin’ ” and “I’m'll call mah Daddy and ask him to look at mah Camaro and see why it’s runnin’ so rough.” Or, “My Mama would skin yor hide for talkin’ trash like that” and “Daddy got me pearls for mah Cotillion, ain’t that sweeeeet?”
And that classic line, “Mama and Daddy said you’re an evil, evil man for rootin’ for the Cubs instead of the Braves, so we have to break up now and I’ve come to get back my Sun Tea maker. Yes I know it’s just a big gallon glass jar, Fable, but you’re a damn Cubs fan so whut do yew know!”
May 24th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Saturday morning observations:
JP: don’t do it, Abbey! Better yet, send Gloria, just in case Elvira Dickens get ugly(er).
MT: gosh, I just love how Mark takes the law into his own hands…we’ll just sneak this flea-bitten puppy into the hospital…
MW: go, Mary, go! (Then again, I have a pretty low tolerance of doctors who, like I suspect Jeff to be, somewhere between the angels and God in the hierarchy of things.) Blow it out your bum boat, Jeff — and take your pouty face with you!
RMMD: exposition exposition exposition
(need Andy! need June in underwear! heck, need Rex in a towel!)
FOOB: look, True Fable! The Canonization of Elly continues apace! (I’d be more impressed if she’d been martyred first…)
May 24th, 2008 at 12:54 am
FBoFW As bats :[ pointed out, today is the continuing quest for the Canonization of St. Elly. Oh, what would you ever do without Mom, Mikey? You’re so lucky Elly takes the kids for you, Dee, since you’ve pretty much worn out your welcome as far as April is concerned. You’re damn lucky. And of course, you just can’t count on your own mother Mira, who tried to help you with new things for the babies and offered you a place to stay and new furniture after the fire – she’s so EVIL and so BOSSY and most importantly, not the star of the strip. No, Mira is the Anti-Elly and therefore no one you should ever bother to thank.
Because you have ELLY! Wonderful, loving, screaming, vindictive, vengeful, grudge-carrying, put-upon, sloppy, slurpy, spiteful, self-pitying, overeating Elly who gives you a place in an already crowded house including April’s furniture, and even lets you buy the house and keep her old furniture so she can get all new things for herself! The woman who flaps and honks and bitches her way all over Milborough will have you firmly in her debt ledger and don’t you think for a minute that she will ever forget that YOU OWE HER for every single thing she has done for you. Even when she offers it first, she will remind you of the noble sacrifice SHE made, for YOU, and you’d damn well better bring her flowers goddammit because she won’t put up with ungrateful brats even if they are in the middle of studying or working or minding their own damn business!
Why are you still here? – fly my monkeys, fly! Go out and bring back MORE tributes to St. Elly of Milborough, you miserable, ungrateful little fucks!
/rant
May 24th, 2008 at 12:59 am
45. True Fable: word.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2517155285/sizes/o/
May 24th, 2008 at 1:03 am
# 46 bats :[ – Have I told you lately that I loves you? ;-) You rock.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:43 am
FC — Argh, I broke my no-FC rule again and saw Daddy Keane’s creepy dainty hands and Billy’s sickening eyeroll! Gack ick yuck!
MW — A classic MW gesture by Mary in Panel One. Were I photoshop-gifted, I would collect these magic moments.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:45 am
9CL This is the first cell phone-based joke that I actually chuckled over. Oh, and – nice ass, Edda.
A3G You know, Margo’s lack of interest really can’t be blamed on her callous nature although it’s just as fun. I mean, she just handled Luann’s show; she knows what the pictures look like, she doesn’t need to see the prints now.
Archie Well, chances are you wouldn’t look like such a FUCKING MORON with an actual Bluetooth there, Raj.
C’haft Oh, that will sure make her feel welcome, the two of you begrudging her every moment present. Fuck you two, AND the horse you rode in on. I don’t imagine she’s any too thrilled with YOU, either.
(WT)DT What’s her name again? What does she do? *sigh* GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY! Start pulling Something out of your ass.
FC Damn, Big Daddy Keane. You sure look pissed off because the kids want a little attention from you. I know they’re annoying as hell, but don’t make the strokes if you can’t raise the folks, bubba.
GA Uh oh. I have a dreadful feeling this is going to lead into those stupid hillbillies, and the one who carries the kitten on his arm everywhere. If so, I’m not going to follow it.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Thirsty is due for a smackdown, and Irma’s set to go.
JP You mean, there’s more?? Oh good, we’re owed a little more Pot Brownie story to make up for missing The Big Bust. And missing the arrest, too.
Luann You know, Delta, for someone who’s constantly harping about how much teens are wasting, you’re sure spending an inordinate amount of time sitting around on your ass with Tweedletwit and Tweedletwat. Put up or shut up.
MT Yes, keep Andy in the car where he could be dognapped by someone else or die of heatstroke, while you break the hospital rules and sneak an animal into a hospital, Mark. Dickhead; I suppose you’re going to tell the staff you’re pregnant, too. yeah, like they’ll buy that.
Marvin Kid, you don’t know the half of it.
MW Fight! Fight! I’m giddy with glee! Pass the popcorn, y’all, this is great!
MC Today’s strip is full of win.
ZtP Griffith gets points for mentioning “Death Note”.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:51 am
MW Yeah, Jeff, that’s right! Mary knows when to meddle and when not to! The meddling isn’t over until the drunk goes over the cliff, right Mary?
May 24th, 2008 at 1:51 am
Creepy and surreal. Reminded me of one of those indie psychological thrillers.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:52 am
DT – Our girl Shirl is already a Lieutenant? She started work, what… yesterday? Lieutenant is a junior rank in the Army or the Navy, but I know from watching too many NYPD reruns that it is pretty high up in the police hierarchy.
MF – Ahh, but is it change we can believe in? After all, it is the weather channel.
MW – Wow! Jeff is getting a finger-in-the-chest scolding. I guess we know who wears the pants(suits) in that relationship.
May 24th, 2008 at 2:01 am
TBMEL – “…the man’s probably gonna lynch you and leave your carcass hanging from the capital dome.”
We should be so lucky.
May 24th, 2008 at 2:05 am
# 52 Wolf Shepherd – This startling new tack in Mary Worth holds so much potential! We’ve all been hoping for something like this to happen and we’ve hardly dared believe it might. Ever since Aldo (moment of silence) we’ve had the occasional snippet of snarkable joy, but this is the first really big development for Mary.
And I hope that Karen really runs with it. I hope Jeff is wildly jealous and doesn’t apologize a bit. I hope Mary’s so pissed, she runs flying for Ron/Rich/ whoever, and we get to go through weeks and weeks of Jealous Jeff and Carefree Mary! I hope we see a couple of Dagger Exchanges between them in the Bum Boat! I hope Ian and Toeby are caught right square in the middle of it! I hope Jeff finds another girlfriend – even if only temporary, okay – that makes Mary just flip her Clairol. I hope I HOPE that Jeff will make some mention of getting more out of his new relation (wink wink) than he got from Mary, although maybe Karen won’t go quite that far.
Whatever; doesn’t matter because we’re Finally seeing something other than “Mary spends weeks with a dog.” Maybe Jeff has had enough being pushed to the side first for a dog and then for some random stranger at the hospital. Go, Jeff! Talk back, boy! Get in there and live it up!
May 24th, 2008 at 2:19 am
Archie: If he wants to see how it looks, wouldn’t it work better if he were near a mirror? Never mind that an earpiece isn’t “a Bluetooth” any more than a hard drive is “a FireWire.”
Crankshaft, featuring Hateful Old Biddy: Quick, take your mom up to the North Pole while they’ve still got ice floes left to leave her on!
DT: So did she turn her back on Tracy before he’d even finished talking to her, and her face went into “night” display mode, or does she have eyes in the back of her hair?
F-: It’s the stuffed one I really like.
FC: “And who wrote, ‘Get a haircut! You’re starting to look like Donald Trump!’?”
Foob: Yeah, yeah, wonderful, selfless, etc., etc. Elly… who doesn’t consider grandchildren “the gifts that keep on giving” until she gets a present.
MT: Aah, sterile, schmerile. “This squirming thing under my shirt? Oh, that’s an aggressive tumor.”
MW: “And just because I’ve never actually found a time and place where my help isn’t warranted doesn’t mean I won’t theoretically find one someday!”
Quigmans: See, because they’re homeless and destitute, and garbage is valuable to them! Ha ha!
TOC: Uh, ha ha? Is the cartoonist unaware that people eat fungus all the time?
Also amused me: MC, SB
May 24th, 2008 at 2:49 am
Bats! Fable! To bed! Spelled B-E-D! See you in the morning, O Queen and King of Snark. Sweet Dreamz of goatz ‘n Flicker.
Nite nite.
-Anna
May 24th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Sat-all-day:
MW: Dr. Jeff’s opening line – worst version of “Turn, Turn, Turn” ever!
9CL: “Blammitygebang!” I’m sorry, but I really love “blammitygebang”! It’s… DonMartin-y.
Archie: He looks like Van Gogh! Wanna see what ya look like with a bluetooth? Eat something blueberry flavored.
BBailey: Lockhorns with multiple panels.
“FOOB: The gift that keeps on glurging!”
FW: More superhero crap. Give it a rest, ‘kay?
We now pause from Gasoline Alley for a message from our sponsor…
GT: Big deal! Al Sleet the Hippy-Dippy Weatherman knows those 2 words, too!
Luann: Oh, great, another excuse for TV-bashing! I should shut them off to save my own energy.
OBH: Please let it be Mikey Patterson on the other end!!
Ghost-Who-Isn’t-On-”Lost”: Nobody likes a wiseguy “next” box!
R&R:
Red: “Well… here we go again!”
Carl Stalling orchestra: “Bom, bom-bom BOMP!” (Iris out)
(late ’40s Looney Tunes closing theme and “That’s all, folks” closing titles)
S-M: Hey, can the meta, Smithers!
The Paranoid Mind of Edison Lee: 1) The veep is shady; he’s not Augusto Pinochet! 2) No, they make presidents like Dan Quayle anymore.
…Did I mention how much I like “blammitygebang”?
May 24th, 2008 at 3:00 am
# 56 Anna Nimity of the Podcasting Jungle Patrol – I work third shift and the boss lets me surf the web as long as I get my work done.
Yes, I AM a lucky sumbitch, I know! :-)
.
.
ooh! Goat mention! ;-)
May 24th, 2008 at 4:04 am
Mark Trail: You have GOT to be f***ing kidding me.
Blondie: What does Elmo usually use? His own pee?
Crankshaft: You know, the only reason I read this anymore is that the silent suffering misery makes my mangled foot seem less painful.
Dick Tracy: Aaaaaaand The Strip That Goes Nowhere For Weeks continues to punish us with more close-ups of Shirl. This also constitutes silent suffering misery, but on our part (and not so silent).
Family Circus: “Go cut me a switch, you little s**ts!! NOW!!”
Hi & Lois: I’d like to see Irma’s new “yardwork thing” be fertilizing the lawn with Thirsty’s ground-up remains.
Luann: Whoops, sorry, Mibby…Delta’s assimilated Luann into her scheme to not be a completely useless load. Can Bernice continue to resist for much longer?
My Cage: The little “manga sigh” is adorable.
Sherman’s Lagoon: I love the tongue hanging out the side.
Snuffy Smith: What sort of fascist state does Snuffy live in, anyway? Mind your own business, pig. (At least he’s not jabbin’ at them with his shootin’ iron, like the old days…)
May 24th, 2008 at 4:30 am
Tina’s Groove: The measure of a true bastard: would you cut this out and put it up in the breakroom at work? *clip clip clip*
FOOB: Eeeeeurrrrgh. That’s the first time reading a comic strip has felt like the end of long-term constipation. I swear there’d be blood if I wiped right now. Lots.
May 24th, 2008 at 7:27 am
MW – Jeff – watch out for that finger she’s pointing at you – who knows where it’s been!
Luann – Oh, SNAP!
C’shaft – I actually had an internal debate as to whether it would have had more impact if they had shared a thought balloon, or if they each had their own balloon as pictured. I’ll get back to you.
FW – Why do I get the feeling that this new secretary, Cayla, is going to lead Les into a world of brown sugar? And then, shortly thereafter and completely unrelated, he’ll lose his genitalia to penile cancer?
May 24th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Mark Trail is a puppy smuggler now? Who will punch the puncher?
May 24th, 2008 at 8:26 am
MW: “jeff, I’m capable of deciding when my help is warranted and when it isn’t”. Oh, I seriously doubt *that*, as regardless of whether Ron should be helped by you through some artificially accelerated stages of grief (no doubt ending in a lobotomy, because heaven forfend a year from now while going about his regular life, he might have a wistful moment, remember his mother is dead, and be sad), you can’t seem to figure out basic etiquette.
You do NOT break a previously-scheduled meeting/ date/ promised activity for anything less than (1) a genuine emergency (is there blood? do you have to call an ambulance?) or (2) something so important that BOTH of you agree you should postpone your previous activity. And that’s being generous. I doubt Miss Manners would be happy with such an expansive condition (2).
Of course, since MYOB is a large part of basic etiquette, it’s hardly surprising that Mary hasn’t a clue how to function in polite society.
May 24th, 2008 at 8:28 am
’shaft: Do they have ice floes in central Ohio?
‘bean: She can only speak in paraphrases of other writers’ words? What a godsend for a lazy-ass writer.
H&J: Except, of course, that we know Herb does go to church, where he rewards Rev. Crooms’ lousy sermons with tiny offerings.
Duck: You mean CBS, owned by GE, that was controlled by that fiery leveller Jack Welch for so many years?
Phantom: Yeah, sister, really Bali Hai. You’re stranded on an abandoned oil rig with a huge purple freak.
May 24th, 2008 at 8:35 am
gleeb, you fool! NBC is owned by GE, not CBS.
Whatever, I don’t watch that idiot box.
May 24th, 2008 at 9:03 am
My Cage is just TOO CUTE today. Sigh…
- Niall
May 24th, 2008 at 9:39 am
9CL: Having finished with her phone call, Edda prepares to get blammitygangbanged.
BB: I’m not sure how I’m supposed to respond to this. Or do I?… Yes… no, wait, it’s almost on the tip of my tongue… ah, that’s it! “Ha, ha! He’s drunk!”
BH: Eurgh. A disturbing image in the service of a non-funny punchline.
(WT)DT: Dick Tracy: The strip written specifically for readers with short-term memory loss.
FC: Next panel: The kids stand around dejectedly while Daddy enjoys a rollicking tea party with “Not Me.” Dolly smacks Jeffy in the back of the head and says “Nice one, numbskull.”
H&J: How ’bout Humorville? Funnysburg? Laughtown? Giggleston? Learntowriteajokeforgodssake City?
JP: Wait a freakin’ minute… since when do state troopers go out of their way to facilitate witness tampering?
MT: Of course, the humans in this strip, the ones who by all rights should be at the police station filing home-invasion charges against that brown-shirted thug, are irrelevant to the rest of this plot, so they’ve been dropped. “Gee, we can’t go to the cops and report this first-degree aggravated felony, Trail’s got us dead-to-rights on dognapping!” Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to be content imagining scenes like this one: “Why, Mr. Trail, is that a giant furry ear hanging out of your waist, or are you just happy to see me?”
Marvin: Why is a pre-verbal toddler allowed to play outdoors unsupervised anyway?! ARRRRGH. These two paragons of bad parenting get the child they deserve.
MW: See, Mary, that’s where you and everyone else in the world differ.
MC: Maureen and Lily are win.
NS: Some people just can’t stand the way the crocs talk in PBS. I couldn’t figure out where such hatred came from until I realized today that I feel the same about the exaggerated Maine accents in this strip.
Phantom: Once again, I’m forced to bust out the Morbo… OIL PLATFORMS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!
S-M: Some folks think that if you use a piece of paper to cover up half a person’s portrait and look at both halves of the face separately, a lot can be revealed about the person’s character. Using this technique on panel 1 reveals that J. Jonah Jameson is half Hitler and half Hitler after opening the Ark of the Covenant.
ZtP: The biggest difference between Death Note and this strip? Death Note is less wordy.
(Maybe half a dozen people will get that last one, anyway…)
May 24th, 2008 at 11:16 am
The Amazing Mary Worth Monologue:
The evil that is the Mary Worth monologue film forced me (forced!) to notice the following:
Lao Tzu is quoted by name.
Harold Kushner is quoted by name.
Lyndon freakin’ Johnson is quoted by name!
But St. Paul, source of the most famous of all the quotes she uses (Rom. 5: 3-5), becomes the anonymous “it has been said . . . ”
wtf??
http://maryworthandme.blogspot.com/2008/04/mary-worth-161.html
May 24th, 2008 at 11:19 am
45/True Fable – I would like to see Elly cannonized – preferably with grapeshot.
BTW, when I was a kid, I had a Disney record in which Ludwig von Drake got cannonized. At 8 years old, I thought it was the funniest goddamn thing in the world. Still do.
MT – What the….Mark is a kangaroo? Shouldn’t that be a giant kangaroo, possibly flattening buildings with his ginormous feet?
P – PLUGGERS DON”T DRINK WINE, DAMMIT.
M – Marvin has overstayed his welcome, meaning that his folks will be taking him to the kid – pound now.
MC – The “fire box.” I love it!
Crankshaft (Friday) – Batuick continues to mine fresh veins of human misery. Does this guy write his strip while absent-mindedly chewing on the end of a pistol or what?
LuAnn – Yes, if only all teenagers could put in 20 hours a week to make the world better! That’s like a half-time job, on top of school, homework and their actual jobs where they make spending/college money. Jump to it, slackers!
May 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Trippy, Ben, very trippy.
So in the middle of the night I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up and fired up the old Dell. I watched Ben’s video, went to YouTube and watched “Mirror, Father, Mirror” from Ghost World and, after catching up on comments, went back to bed and had the most disturbing dreams ever. I blame Mary Worth.
Niall – So glad you’re enjoying Ireland! You have my envy.
DT – This has been bugging me for days. Shirl’s face. It reminds me of a specific corporate logo, but I can’t quite figure it out. At first I was thinking of the REO Speedwagon logo (either the band or the truck) but that’s not it. Someone mentioned the Pontiac Firebird the other day, so I thought of the Firebird logo on the hood of the Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am, but that’s not it. Like Shirl Locke, I will not rest until I solve this mystery. Or until I lose interest.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:24 am
BB – You know, I think this is one of the less-subtle “General Halftrack is a desperate alcoholic” strips I can recall.
DT – I think Dick Locher is purposefully trying to give me nightmares.
FOOB – Hail Elly, full of Self, the Ass is with thee; pompous art thou among women, and perfect is the fruit of thy womb, Michael. Holy Elly, Mother-God, sneer at us readers, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Garfield – I got an honest laugh out of Garfield today.
GA – With his assorted random appearances between storylines, I’m half-expecting Chef Meowrice to start talking to the characters through the TV. It’s already late at night, and Asian Mom is inexplicably watching TV while her daughter gets it on with a neighbor boy. “Chef Meowrice here to tell you kill them about my new line of fornicators must die Fresh Feline Food Favorites spread their entrails across the land!”
GT – My favorite part of today’s Gil Thorp: the strangely-angled, monolithic boombox in panel three. One can just picture the tiny little Homo Erectus gathered around the base, ready to be inspired to pick up a bone and start bashing the rocks in time to the beat.
JP – Oh please let Mrs. Dickens share that brownie recipe, with Abbey not realizing what Cannabis sativa in the ingredients list is…
Luann – Actually, compared to the energy used by, say, your refrigerator, which draws far more power and is running 168 hours a week, 20 hours of TV (especially on a modern set) is comparatively minimal. So yeah, go ahead, pretend you’re saving the planet by cutting down a small fraction of the energy you use. Not that (if you ask me) that’s the problem anyway, but if it helps you feel self-righteous…
MT – Mark Trail: Puppy Smuggler.
MW – Oh, Jeff, you should not have crossed her. Remember Aldo?
MC – Niall is right: this is just too cute.
Pluggers – Pluggers enjoy alcohol best when served with mock pretensions of class.
WOI – No, it’s absolutely nothing like science fiction. THIS JOKE DOES NOT WORK.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I don’t know where this Luann story is heading but you just know that Gunther and his hippie friend will be roped into it.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:26 am
*echoes the chorus of WIN for today’s MC*
PBS: love the crocs. more win.
MT: wait, is this the same hospital that let Mark in with a frikken BEAR?!? And he’s worried about getting Andy in? o_O
May 24th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Luann — I’ve known a few teens who did volunteer work, and in each case, a specific need caught the teen’s interest. None of them started by sitting around chanting a weirdly-general list of problems that included war, famine, and graffiti.
# 14 Moss — Argh, what a mental image. Thou hast seared mine eyeballs!
May 24th, 2008 at 11:47 am
MT – The images of Mark breaking and entering, then trying to stuff a puppy down his pants and smuggle it into the local hospital, where some folks probably have brutal allergies or asthma, has made my week.
I hope it bites him where the sun don’t shine.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:52 am
#68 – Yes, it’s frightening and hilarious to read this as a treatise from Olde England, or as a Dead Sea Scroll.
I’d love to have someone recite this to Paula Abdul, just to watch her head detonate.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:52 am
GT – What I like best about Whigham’s artwork is his ability to draw women’s legs. Shapely, curvacious legs. Just think what he could do for Abbey Spencer.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:58 am
#59 Arglebargle – “Sherman’s Lagoon: I love the tongue hanging out the side.”
LOL! That is funny. I didn’t notice before. I guess that is how we can tell it is a dogfish.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:59 am
FOOB: The Elly/Lynn self-martyrdom has been well covered by others, so I’ll just add: did Elly take the kids after they half destroyed the bookstore in a fit of restless boredom, or did she bring them there herself as part of her babysitting activities? I suspect the latter, since Elly would want to make sure her grandchildren get into the habit of worshiping their parents as good spawn should.
Pluggers: Wine? Isn’t wine itself a bit upscale for a plugger? I’d always figured they were domestic beer, hard-liquor-straight-from-the-bottle types.
May 24th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
One more thing and then I’ll be quiet. Rex Morgan. Maybe I’m too sheltered. Do people really go around randomly setting fire to stuff left near dumpsters outside of middle schools? Is that school in a torch-and-pitchfork community? And why does Rex have his “Uh-oh, the jig is up” face on? Does he go around setting stuff on fire? Is he afraid Carol is onto him? Questions, questions, questions, flooding the mind of the concerned young person today.
But it’s a great time to be alive, ladies and gentlemen.
May 24th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Dee:We got yor mom this plant, should we do something for your father?
Mike:No, he spent the entire day playing with his trains so I oubt he even knew his grandchildren were in the house. It was that way the entire time we were growing up.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Phantom – Gas prices are $4 a gallon and there’s are oil platforms just standing around abandoned in the Gulf of Mexico?
May 24th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
MT – It really is kind of sweetOHMYGOD THAT DOG IS GONNA COME OUT OF HIS STOMACH LIKE IN ‘ALIEN’ IF THIS DOESN’T KILL OFF POOR MADELINE NOTHING WILL!
FOOB – I suspect this pathetic parade of self-congratulations is going to go on for awhile.
First we had April being praised by her chums for having such a handle on her future career plans. Gonna be a vet / Yep you sure got your act together! All we’re missing is the Starey Gap-Toothed HOO! Guy and a retreat behind the portables to smoke some Ontario dandelions.
Then we endured Elly and Connie jogging along and comparing their successes as Moms. Yep we did it / Yep they all turned out well / Yep we’re both great even though yours turned out gay so you’ll never be a Granny Ha Ha! All we’re missing is the communal shower afterwards, for which I think we’re all pretty much grateful.
Now it’s the St. Mike On His Way To A Pulitzer Week. And it’s been such an exciting week, getting interviewed by local access cable TV and all!
Perhaps next up will be Gramps, stuck in thought bubbles while Iris prattles on about what a wonderful family he has and how he should be so proud and what a success he is. Yep…things turned out just grand…I had a pretty good life…even if my wife’s ass is the size of a…(Aloud) “BOXCAR!” (Dies)
Oh well…Happy Memorial Day Weekend, to all of you south of the Foobiverse! I’m off to buy Humpty-Dumpty snacks!
May 24th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
#79 TheDiva – re Pluggers & wine.
Having grown up in a Plugger household and being a bit of a Plugger myself, I think I can shed some light on this topic. Pluggers have absolutely no interest in wine. Wine is an acquired taste, and to a Plugger it tastes like grape juice that has gone bad. (Beer is also an acquired taste, but one that most Pluggers acquire very early in life.)
So why do Pluggers dabble in wine at all? First, it is important to understand that Pluggers do not revel in their lack of sophistication, nor are they particularly envious of others. They are comfortable with who they are, but they are also curious as they observe that other society that tends to cluster along the coasts. (It’s a bit like zoo animals observing the observers.) They are constantly being told by the mass media (and the occasional presidential candidate) that they are a bunch of losers. They accept these insults with good humor, but they also wonder if maybe they are missing something. (They aren’t.)
Pluggers watch TV and movies, and even read an occasional book, so they know that most sophisticated people – you know, like the folks featured in the magazines at the checkout line – go to fancy restaurants and drink expensive wines. So, on special occasions, Pluggers will sometimes emulate those folks and pretend to enjoy some wine. But they don’t really enjoy it. How could they? To them, it tastes like crap. And – this is key – it all tastes like crap. So it doesn’t matter if the wine is a vintage Bordeaux, has a screw cap, or comes in a box. It all tastes the same! And, since Pluggers are a practical and non-snobbish people, they would never consider paying big bucks for a bottle of crappy-tasting wine just to impress company. Instead, they save their money for more important things, like fish hooks or flannel underwear, and pick up whatever is on sale at the local Wal-Mart.
I hope this helps.
…Wolf
May 24th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Jeff and Mary are arguing! Will they have to call in a outside meddler to straighten this out? Somebody put on a pot of gravy, I’m gonna have to settle in for the long haul on this one.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Ha – We’ll have to call 1-800-Got-Meddle –
or maybe even the local cops, if this gets really down and dirty.
Wow.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Who is hurt by meddleaholism? It can affect you, your meddleees, people you pass by in the street, even those you love. Don’t let your relationships fall victim to this treatable condition. Talk to your doctor about Minalox. It has been shown in clinical trials to allow users to mind their own damn business and let people live their own freaking lives. There can be rare, but serious, side effects that would be perfect grist for future plotlines. Talk to your doctor to see if Minlox is right for you.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Phantom: Who travels around in an antique plane wearing a purple spandex suit? Come on, you’d think Diana would have made him change into his civvies, because she’d be so embarrassed by the P-Man wearing that sweaty old outfit all the time.
May 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
MT: Weren’t the Hospital staff and doctors calling Mark and *begging* him to bring the puppy? But he must sneak it in anyway? It’ll be a big hit in Intensive Care, running around hysterically yapping ,and peeing everywhere! Meanwhile Andy will die of heat prostration in the car. And what happened to the Female Dog?
MW: I just knew the Donna Almafi story wasn’t about the quarreling brothers: it was a setup for Mary Romance. Should be fun since the brothers are identical! And quarrelsome!
May 24th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
MW – Bumboat! Bumboat! Bumboat! Woo Hoo! Oh I am so excited!!!
May 24th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
64. gleeb: **SNORT!!** on the “really Bali Hai” reference. Humor that about as dry as the surface of Mercury — love it!
Oh, that I knew how to do Flash animation.
Or maybe not…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2518548313/sizes/o/
May 24th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
69. cheech wizard, re Pluggers: Pluggers may not drink wine, but they’ll probably drink grape juice (or orange juice, or prune juice) that’s been there a little too long and gotten “fizzy” in the refrigerator.
75. Calico: regarding that question about the puppy biting Mark where the sun don’t shine…that’s kind of like the old Zen question, “If a tree falls in the forest…”
80. John C Fremont: I consider myself living in a fairly-civilized city, and people will torch garbage just for the hell of it here. Weird-ass pyro fixation, one step more extreme than people who go camping and will. not. leave. the. &*&#*#%. campfire. alone.
83. Mooncattie, re MT: oh, gosh, the *idea* of Madelin having a heart attack or hysterics so severe that she needs to be sedated is just wonderful.
(You know, in a sick sort of way…)
Humpty-Dumpty snacks?! Has the FOOB franchise branched out into junk food?
89. Orange Doorhinge: dang! I hate these shared names in the comics! I read “Meanwhile Andy will die of heat prostration in the car.”, and immediately thought of Rex leaving Count Morgu behind as he tours the high school with June! Gah.
90. Wolf Shepherd: hahahahahahahahaha!
May 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
5/24
Marvin: Your welcome on the comics page, you mean? Yeah, like five years ago.
MT: Ahem. Is that a cocker spaniel under your shirt, or are you just happy to see me?
GA: Well, that last story was a dud. Maybe this Parisian kitty on steroids can lead us someplace good.
SFx: Quite honestly, these panels make as much or as little sense regardless of what order you put them in. They’re almost Thorpian in that sense.
PBS: I love this.
Luann: Is basically just teaching kids that idealism is boring, at this point.
H&J: Ask Sarah. I’m sure she can name a couple of places she can’t remember you being.
FC: That would be Thel’s breasts, Bil.
Ziggy: Spring break was two months ago, but thanks for playing.
May 24th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
MT: I never would have thought that Mark would end up displaying shirt-puppies. All else equal, I prefer Abbey’s but I suppose if you got Mark high, put him in cut-offs while painting, and had him drawn by Barreto, this could work…
May 24th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
#84 Wolf Shepherd, Pluggers and Wine – I feel like the secret has finally been lifted. I am a born and bred big city guy who even lived in San Francisco and Paris and frankly, in spite of hundreds of bottles, can’t tell the difference between a Mad Dog and a Château Lafitte Rothschild.
I can however tell you if it’s Bud, a Bohemia, or a Pabst, all of which I like with one sniff.
Pluggers are my favorite human animal hybrids and as I age gracelessly, I am getting in touch with own pluggerdom. It fits really well.
Mary Worth – What is that? Jeff expresses ever so slightly his annoyance that she is blowing him off for another dude and she is right up in his face? She’s acting like her trifling platitudes and lack of boundaries are “counseling” and helpful. She’s nuts.
Jeff, drop and roll. Leave the psycho now. Look what she did to your son.
May 24th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
In no way should that behavior be encouraged. Bil playing with Thel’s breasts just might lead to another “charming” child, and more “precious” meanderings from the older siblings.
May 24th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I’ll have to check it out later, because I’m partway through an operatic version of “Sorry, Wrong Number” just now. Really.
May 24th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
71 – commodorejohn – Luann
If the TV draws more than 200 watts, it probably requires more power than the refrigerator compressor motor. The fridge isn’t really running all the time unless Jeremy Pus for Brains or some other comic strip/sitcom character is in the house and never shuts the door.
In all seriousness: I’d like to see the numbers.
If it helps (and even if it doesn’t), 1 electrical horsepowere = 746 watts.