The Comics Curmudgeon

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Puppy problems

Mark Trail, 5/24/08

Wait, sneaking it in? But … but that’s a medicinal puppy!

As usual, there’s so much wrong happening in this Mark Trail storyline denouement that it makes my little brain hurt. First of all, we’ve seen no indication that Mark has done anything about the sinister dognappers other than punch one of them. Despite what a casual reading of this strip may lead you to believe, Mark is not an officer of the law, and his fists are not legally sanctioned punishments for crimes. Are we seriously to believe that the Bonnie and Clyde of pet-stealing, having discovered how darn easy it is make money through from softhearted dog owners through their nefarious machinations, are just going to give it up because of a little chin music from Mark? Surely they’re just going to head over to another town and start anew! The least Mark could have done is liberate their female dog, who is an unwitting accomplice to their crimes and little better than a sex slave.

Then there’s the puppy-concealment going on in panel three. At least Mark isn’t just brazenly walking into a hospital with a bear, as he did during the Buck and Molly storyline, but since we can see clearly that Mark has washboard abs and a relatively form-fitting shirt, surely there will be someone observant enough to notice the squirming, mewling lump on our hero’s abdomen. I also question whether telling a happy, playful puppy in English to be quiet will really be all that effective. Hopefully Mark will be smart enough not to resort to more drastic measures; if you think little Madeline is sad now, wait until Mark shows her the puppy that he accidentally smothered.

Herb and Jamaal, 5/24/08

Herb and Jamaal’s Hip Young Clergyman With An Earring was introduced a while back as an assistant to Rev. Croom, sent by the higher-ups to try to keep church relevant to the youth of today. Today we see that he’s also taken on the role of Christianity’s enforcer, popping out of nowhere whenever some weirdo religion is mentioned. “Hey, you know who’s a wise spiritual leader? Jesus. Now get yourselves to church, you hell-bound hippies.”

Gil Thorp, 5/24/08

Boy, Branden and Elmer sure are looking cozy for two totally-not-at-all-dating BFFs. With the music on the boom box right and the light from the Chinese lanterns low at Maureen’s party, I predict two words (in English) that will end up solving Elmer’s little immigration status problem: shotgun wedding.

Panel from Mary Worth, 5/24/08

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 24, 2008 at 03:50 pm and is filed under Gil Thorp, Herb and Jamaal, Mark Trail, Mary Worth.

192 responses to “Puppy problems”

Anna Nimity of the Podcasting Jungle Patrol
May 24th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Josh, the Mary Worth comment is just, well, so insightful that I’m speechless!
compass rose
May 24th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

Branden and Elmer look very sweet together – and not deformed, for once. Nice panel.
Benjamin Baxter
May 24th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

I agree with No. 1. She beat me to it.

http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/
black sheep boy
May 24th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp panel 1: Wonder Twin powers activate! Form of a… two-run triple!
Batman Beatles
May 24th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Foob: Will you please make it stop?!
Calico
May 24th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

…quite contrary.

Plus, the claw of meddling/death.
manzanita
May 24th, 2008 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

Are we really to believe that Herb (or Jamaal, I don’t know which is which) is so well traveled that he can’t think of anywhere that he hasn’t been? As far as lame joke set-ups go, it helps if they are at least a little believable.
Mac
May 24th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

Of course Mary thinks that — she always thinks her meddling is appropriate.
commodorejohn
May 24th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

#7 manzanita – No, it’s more that he can’t think of anywhere he hasn’t been because he only has about two or three proper nouns in his entire brain. His ability to index knowledge of entities by anything more abbreviated than a complete listing of all their identifying characteristics is near-completely impaired; thus, he cannot realize that he’s never been to, say, Paris, but if you mentioned “that city with the famous tower” you might get a glimmer of recognition.

It’s sad, really.
Heidi
May 24th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Now I could make a comment about the sexy nature of Mary Worth’s chest-caressing, or that flabby man in blue’s pouty face as he desperately tries to stifle a boner, or even about the decorative ink blots hanging symmetrically in the background.

But no, what interest’s me are the advertisements blazing in bright fonts below Mary’s mauve trenchcoat.

Legal Help for Sex Crimes
Clear Your Record
-and my personal favorite-
Local Catholic Dating

Are you trying to tell us something, oh great Curmudgeon of Comics?
maughta
May 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

Is that a puppy in your shirt or are you (strangely) happy to see me? Ha! I see phalluses everywhere!!!
Smokehouse
May 24th, 2008 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

Mary looks as if she’s about to rip Jeff’s heart out Temple of Doom style for having the audacity to question her “helping.”
Zaq
May 24th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

A3G: Who’s that other woman in the first panel, the one who’s not Margo or Luann? Tommie, you say? Who’s Tommie? There’s no Tommies around here. I do love how ragingly self-absorbed Margo is, though. As always.

DT: Just when I get used to SLH’s face, Locher has to go and give her insane glowing eyes of doom in panel 3. Terrifying.

FOOB: I can just see St. Mike and The Human Uterus (or some equally unimportant character… or maybe The Golden Vagina) arguing in a “tastes great! Less filling!” sort of way over how best to describe the divinity on Earth that is the glorious Elly. “She’s an angel!” “No, she’s a manifestation of pure perfection!” “No, she’s the creator of the universe itself!” There will probably be slapping and flailing.

MW: Mary is judge, jury, and meddler. She’s like some kind of Judge Dredd with a platitude-spraying gun… which I would totally pay money to see, by the way.

RMRSA: Uh oh, Rex has his “frowny concerned face” on. We all know what that means, don’t we? (If you do, please tell me.)

Archie: Good thing the AJGLU3K is unfamiliar with vaudeville, or we’d be treated to “What? I can’t hear you, I’ve got a stick of gum taped to my ear,” only phrased in a manner that no one would ever say, ever.

C’shaft: Suffer, Batiuklings! Suffer! It gives your creator joy to watch you squirm in misery! Of course, this is ‘Shaft, not FW, so although misery is certain, we also know that the hateful old bat won’t die, because that would be a relief. Instead, I think one of them is going to die, leaving the other to support the hateful mother all by him/herself. Then ‘Shaft will mispronounce something.
TurtleBoy
May 24th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark Trail’s Right Hook o’ Justice™ is second in power only to Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kick: the blow Mark dealt the nefarious puppy-snatcher a few days back was strong enough to send the evildoers several decades forward in time, where they will be free to wreak their ills upon a more peaceful future. Fortunately Mark’s next adventure will find him being placed in cryogenic hypostasis in order to await the need for tomorrow’s law enforcement officers to revive him and defeat a yet-more-formidable foe.

Incidentally, Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep; he waits. Mark Trail doesn’t sleep, either; he lounges invitingly on a hotel bed with an overly large 1930s-era black telephone handset held to his ear.
Lolsworth
May 24th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Herb has been literally everywhere on planet Earth? Without leaving his barber shop or whatever the crap? Maybe Jamaal should explain that the journeys he makes in his head (to Hawaii or Mars or Wonder Woman’s palace on Paradise Island) don’t count.
Islamorada Girl
May 24th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

14: “Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep.”
That explains a lot.
Shmork
May 24th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Mark, is that a puppy under your shirt or are you just happy to see me?
Shmork
May 24th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

(Oh snap, I was beaten to it.)
SFMarcus
May 24th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Josh, you so nailed it with all of your comments, I’m left gaping like a coelacanth on the deck of Jacques Cousteau’s ship.

Strange primeval forces are stirred in me by seeing all the convened misshapen lines (i.e.,’people’), in the Gil Thorp, and clearly rendered with a Sharpie. I feel moved to make *some* sort of comment, but the non-Euclidean geometry numbs the brain.

Panel One, esp., makes me think that somewhere, in some hellish gulag, prisoners, possibly mentally defective ones, are being forced to draw Gil Thorp installments under hot & buzzing flourescent lights, and the cruel gaze of the dun-robed figures known only as ‘The Wardens.’
Harold
May 24th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

I nominate Josh’s Mary Worth comment for COTW!

Mary Worth has activated the Finger of Withering Emasculation! “Now crawl, you worm! And fetch your mistress another drink!”
Diamond Joe
May 24th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Last night’s snark of today’s comics, including jokes about Mary Worth and Crankshaft that people have since re-made because no one seems to read back more than about 10 comments, can be found here.
Steeple333
May 24th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Lord help me, I think I’m catching the “honestly laughing at horrible comics” – H&J made me chuckle.

Then again, I’m imagining the Hip Young Clergyman With An Earring saying it in the most sarcastic tone ever, complete with an angry grimace festering with tirades about the godlessness of today’s man.
Weaselboy
May 24th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

MW, my imagined panel 3: “Of course, maybe an objective opinion regarding my meddling might be in order here. What do you think, Jeff?”
Kaitlyn
May 24th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

I wish someone had bothered to smuggle in a dog for me when I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. :P

No, really, a dog would have been so helpful during my 4 day stay at a psych ward. No open wounds!

If Mark succeeds, he officially lives in a fantasy version of our world, about 50 years ago.

And why is the girl in the hospital? Depression? In MT’s universe, there is no such thing!

Sadness over your parents’ divorce and losing your new puppy can put you in the hospital now?
SFMarcus
May 24th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

H&J:
Btw, is no one else concerned that the ‘logo’ outside the “Heart & Soul” is clearly a demonic sigil lifted straight from the Lesser Key of Solomon?

http://www.esotericarchives.com/solomon/goetia.htm

‘Cause it troubles me.
Good thing a sassy priest has arrived!
underwhelm
May 24th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail, friend to all animals, leaves Andy in the car?! Is there going to be an animal-control-busting-car-windows-rescue subplot, where Mark escapes animal cruelty charges by punching the magistrate?
nona
May 24th, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Grandchildren are like STDs? Well, in the case of Mike’s kids, they are.
Muffaroo (back!)
May 24th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

MT – Mark’s dialog is presented in English only for the convenience of readers. When he talks to a dog, he’s speaking Dog — and not just dog; he speaks Saint Bernard to Andy and Cute Widdle Puppy to Li’l Shirtstuffer. He would speak Great Bleeding Dane to Marmaduke and Polled Beagle to Snoopy. Same applies to all forest critters, and I believe he writes to them in their own language too. Especially Snoopy.
Vulpes Niger.
May 24th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Is there a special, extra-lame version of the Dalai Lama, specifically for Herb and Jamaal? Because that’s the least deep or insightful piece of spiritual wisdom ever. It sounds like something Mary Worth would come up- oh.

OH.

Mary Worth is the Dalai Lama of the Comics.

It all makes sense now.
Smokey Stover
May 24th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

Once again, Herb and Jamaal are making sweet, sweet love. This time under the amused gaze of the priest.
Ben
May 24th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp lovers take note. Today is a special day. It’s the day that we are introduced to the magical Spanish talking chinese lantern
name
May 24th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

How is Branden a girl’s name? Or is there some kind of a “Ladybugs” type thing going on here, where some dude is playing for the girls’ softball team for some reason?
bobtheenchantedone
May 24th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

Somehow I’m getting the feeling that Mary Worth and Mark Trail have something in common; instead of having sexual relations, Mark punches people and Mary meddles. That could explain a lot.
Kate
May 24th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Has anybody, anywhere, ever really attempted to put a puppy in his shirt?

I ask because I brought a box turtle in my purse to the grocery store once, and the chaos, though circumscribed, became pretty severe. And puppies are faster than box turtles.
Kaitlyn
May 24th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

26 – underwhelm – Mark can leave Andy in the car because the windows will be open. And not just cracked.

Andy is so well behaved he won’t jump out or use the car as a toilet.

But he’ll probably mess with the radio.

Elrod can draw some great animals, but all the book learnin’ is used up on Sundays. That’s why Mark is going to stick a puppy in his shirt and smuggle him into the hospital with no consequences – like Mark getting the crap scratched out of him. And he can take the dog into the hospital!. With sick kids!

Yes, dogs (if you like them) can be very therapeutic. But they can’t be in the hospital! The closest would be a trained dog in a nursing home – maybe the kid is really an 80-year-old midget.
John C Fremont
May 24th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

# 14 & 16 – I thought it was rust that never sleeps.

Hey is that a puppy in your shirt, or do you just have OH MY GOD, THAT IS THE WORST HERNIA I’VE EVER SEEN!! Get this man to surgery, stat!!
mafketis
May 24th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

The punchline in Herb and Jahmal is actually funny if you imagine it being delivered with a snap and neck pop … just like the punchline in Mary Worth.
Kaitlyn
May 24th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

Kate – Nope. I’ve held Wickett so he’s outside my shirt, and today he was hitting my chest with his paws. (he wanted to go on a walk. NOW!)

However, my sister once put Mikey’s octopus in her shirt. He went crazy trying to get it out and scratched her pretty bad. They were both on the couch. She cried and was mad, but no one made her do it!

If I wanted to smuggle a small dog or puppy, I’d get a big purse, or even one made to hold dogs for that purpose.
A Lemur
May 24th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

DT: Shirl has eyes that light up in the dark…

You know, those early model Cylons never really fooled anybody…
Kate
May 24th, 2008 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Mikey’s … octopus?

I sense backstory.
A Lemur
May 24th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

DT: …Unless Shirl’s a vampire… long coat, high collar, fingernails like claws, souless, expressionless eyes that glow in the dark…
if she says “I don’t drink…coffee.” RUN Dick RUN!
Dagger
May 24th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

MT: Isn’t it obvious? The puppy is the Talisman.

I’m also surprised that Blondie didn’t show up on today’s roundup, what with Elmo going around shooting people execution style and all.
Deena in OR
May 24th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@29-or this comics guru…
http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20080523

(warning: mildly NSFW)
commodorejohn
May 24th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

#34 Kate – I dunno about puppies, but back when I worked at the local grocery store, there was a woman who’d come in with a tiny little Chihuahua in her shirt. Like, sitting in her cleavage and poking its head out from her jacket.

I never asked because, frankly, I was afraid to know.
Lou Shumaker
May 24th, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Worst. Sweater puppy. Ever.
Kaitlyn
May 24th, 2008 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Kate – There is a backstory, but it is very boring.

Here’s a picture of Mikey and his octopus.

I bought him a stuffed octopus at a pet store.

It’s a dog toy. And its head rattles.

He loved it, but after a while, he went back to his rope – I think the octopus was too big for him.
Orange Doorhinge
May 24th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Why does “Cathy” buy a new swimsuit each year? I haven’t bought (a new) one in 8 years! If she loves swimming so much, she should be in better shape, surely?
Not Track 5, not chainsaw juggling
May 24th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

#34, Kate:

Box turtles are one thing. Just don’t ever bring your pet duck with you.
Kate
May 24th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Kaitlyn — okay, I get it. I was thinking Mikey was your brother and he had the most coolest aquarium EVAR.

However, Mikey the dog? Is fantastic. Wonderful. Lovely and fluffy. He has my heart completely, except for the bit that my dog has.
bats :[
May 24th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

46. Kaitlyn: oh, Mikey! The dude I did the special Mary Worth for! Sometimes the old toys are still the best toys.

Well, let’s see. No plans for the long holiday, and way too much free time on my hands (gah — two Mary’s in one day). Dang, I wish Count Morgu would show up again.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2518977603/sizes/o/
Anon
May 24th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

GA: That’s a really obfuscated way of saying there is pussy eating on the porch. They really do move fast in the south.
Bill
May 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

What happened to the dognapper’s wife? She looked like she could’ve kicked both their butts. The RFOJ wouldn’t have phased her in the least.

and really … leaving trusty ol’ pal Andy in the car?!!
Citric
May 24th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

Monday’s Mark Trail better involve him doing a reenactment of that scene from Alien, but with a puppy.

That, or going into the hospital pretending he’s actually a pregnant woman to conceal his suspicious bulge.
Tom Bombadil
May 24th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

I don’t know if that puppy is housebroken, but Mark had better be sure that he’s shirtbroken. Dogs tend to have “accidents” when they get nervous, if you know what I mean.
dale
May 24th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp
panel 1. And the illustrator rips an artistic fart.
Did those critters come from a Dick, Jane and Sally book?
Does anyone remember those things?
Deena in OR
May 24th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

Dale,

Remember them??? I learned to read on those things! There were two different versions floating around in our school system…one was pre-integration, one post (published in about 1965 or so). Did you know there was a parochial school version of that series with John and Judy, instead of Dick and Jane?
LouieLouie
May 24th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

I couldn’t agree with your Mary Worth comment more, Josh. That is hands down the funniest thing in that strip EVER.
SpiffBereft
May 24th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

“Mark Trail, friend to all animals, leaves Andy in the car?! Is there going to be an animal-control-busting-car-windows-rescue subplot, where Mark escapes animal cruelty charges by punching the magistrate?”
While Mark is in the hospital trying to pass off his squirming squealing sweater-puppy as a parasitic conjoined twin, he’ll be challenged by the head nurse and unleash his tiny feet of fury. When he’s quickly subdued and ejected by some candy-stripers he’ll find Andy escaped an agonizing heat-induced death because he’s been dognapped by the same criminals Mark failed to have arrested. This final ironic sucker punch will be too much for Mark who returns to his cabin, grows a beard and crosses over to the dark side.
Judo Throw Toy
May 24th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

Just what exactly is Garfield looking down at in panel two of today’s comic before he calls Jon pathetic?
survivor
May 24th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

“My Mightygirl super-hearing tells me that Elmer is in trouble! I’ll just convenienty change into my costume in the girl’s locker room and smash through the ceiling…”

“Mightygirl! Up, up, and awaaaaaay!”
Poteet
May 24th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

(DT)GT — At first I thought the two characters embracing in the third panel were guys, and I was pleased and impressed by GT’s new open-mindedness. The first panel seemed to confirm that impression. But then I saw the second panel and realized that most likely, one of the characters is female. But damned if I’m going to try to figure out what’s really going on — my eyes really hurt, the sure sign of (DT)GT overexposure. And by “overexposure,” I mean “looking at a DT strip for more than thirty seconds, OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH.”
minor flood
May 24th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Yay!!! Not since the glory days of Frank McLaughlin have the proportions of the human bodies been so fucked up in Gil Thorp. New artist Whigham is compounding the androgeny of the characters drawn McLaughlin by depriving them of their glutial muscles — making them totally assless.
Plasma
May 24th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

The interesting thing about today’s Herb and Jamal is the uncharacteristic specificity. Rather than just leaving it at ’spiritual leader’, he actually specifies the Dalai Lama. This is an astounding new development.
Matthew
May 24th, 2008 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

Where the hell are Herb and Jamaal? “Soul **o*”? “Heart $ Soul”? And what’s that weird monogram next to the door?
Dr. Weird
May 24th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

-35, Kaitlyn,

Actually, they do have therapy dogs that come to the hospital. My dad was in for bypass surgery and had a stroke after it (so he was in the hospital for a while) and while I was visiting one day, a therapy dog came by with his handler. Sure cheered dad up.

Of course, that was a non-intensive cardiac unit, so there wouldn’t be issues with contamination and such.
dale
May 24th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

56 – Deena

My experience with the D, J & S series was in the 1953-55 era. I thought they were gone long before 1965 (the year I became a certified HS graduate).

Anyone remember We Think and Do books? Those things actually introduced some basic concepts of algebra hidden as simple mental exercises. And you got to write in them.
PeterW
May 24th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Somebody was complaining a while ago that Sheldon was off their game. Yesterday and today, it’s gotten back on track.

I believe the monogram on the sign in Herb and Jamaal is H(erb), J(amaal), and E(vasive euphemisms).
rhymes with puck
May 24th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

MT: I think the dognappers will be shown going to jail after Mark delivers the great healing puppy. In other words, he punched that guy into next week!

DT: I realize that this doesn’t make sense, but I think the artist had his finger on the lens when he drew that last panel.

MW: If Mary doesn’t watch it, Jeff is going to decide he’s had enough and leave her for a meddler half his age.
Yupyop
May 24th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth, the patron saint of meddlers. Is there no one she can’t save?
Mary, Dr. Jeff Corey is having girlfriend problems, can you help him?
I Hate Bernice
May 24th, 2008 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

Sorry if this is well-trodden material, but one of the things that continually amuses me about Mary Worth is just the idea that she gets into so many situations where her “counseling” is requested and/or appreciated. As much as we make fun of her meddling, people actually ask for it! Like when that twin mother-neglecter was all “Could I call you and talk to you some more, Mary?” Just picture for a second–you meet some lady for 5 minutes before your mother dies in the hospital and then you’re all “Ma’am, I’d really like to call you and discuss my mother’s death and my feelings and such.” I don’t know about you, but it seems to me quite a lot of people don’t even want to talk to licensed therapists about stuff.

Anyway, I just find that concept funny.
Kaitlyn
May 24th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

65 – Dr. Weird – Awesome.

But that’s a therapy dog.

A puppy probably isn’t trained or allowed.

Also – we don’t know why she’s in the hospital – did she hurt herself or does she have the flu or is she in a depression induced coma?

Or just a broken heart?
I Hate Bernice
May 24th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

Forgot to add, now that I am back in the DC area I am VERY INTERESTED in meeting Josh and others at a Baltimore/DC area dinner or something. Can’t we set something up?
Jnoble
May 24th, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

Luann: yay, more feel-good liberal blabbering about “saving the world” or whatever girls do nowadays.
How’s about getting back to the “Toni gives Brad blueballs again and he whines about it to someone” storyline?

FC: Although the kids think desecrating Daddy Bills papers with attention-seeking propaganda is a good idea, what they didn’t expect was the reaction that the bottle of Wild Turkey he downed shortly beforehand produced. Someone call Child Services.
Jnoble
May 24th, 2008 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Gil Thorp: 1989 called, it wants it’s “boombox” back.
Buck Ripsnort
May 24th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

FC: “Who scribbled ‘Play w/ us’ in my appointment book?” Gut Reaction: Your testicles, Bil, they miss you!
Considered Reaction: Since Bil Keane works(ed) at home, if his demon-spawn have to schedule play-dates w/ him, he must be an even bigger workaholic asshole than Calvin’s dad.
kitty
May 24th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

GT: Jesus, those are the worst cankles I have ever, ever seen! She looks like the Gingerbreadman in gym shorts. All I can think is “CANKLES, CANKLES, CANKLES.”
Orange Doorhinge
May 24th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

The first panel in Gil Thorpe is very odd, like they’re trying out a new square dance, or Vulcan Hand Meld or a different type of arm wrestling, or something.

Mary certainly over-reacted to Dr. Jeff’s mild criticism. Perhaps, ever since her ‘back story’ was told she’s been having second thoughts about meddling, thinking about chucking it all. But, like Alan from A3G she’ll tells herself just ‘do’ one more dope! Then, feeling great, she’ll go look at pictures.
Rug Thief
May 24th, 2008 at 10:36 pm [Reply]

You know, when I first glanced at GT last night, I thought Branden and Elmer were doing a little side-hug in the third panel. Then Josh posted it, causing me to take a closer look (thanks a lot, Josh) and I realized you can see Elmer’s other hand. And they’re crotch-to-crotch. And the lanterns are trying to shame Elmer into learning Spanish. And then my head hurt, so I glanced back at the first panel, only to wonder how the hell someone could raise that big a cloud of dust by coming into third standing up–or maybe they’ve started planting low shrubs around the bases in Milford now. And then I realized I was way too invested in this comic strip.
Deena in OR
May 24th, 2008 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

@66-Dale,

Yup! How about SRA reading kits? Anybody? I loved those things, because I could finally read at my own level, instead of waiting for everybody.
bees on pie
May 24th, 2008 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

@74 jnoble

It’s better than “ghetto blaster.”
Vince M
May 24th, 2008 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

48: Hey, they told that story on the NPR quiz show “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me” – my favorite comment on it was the perp’s assessment of what went wrong: “Looking back on it, the big flaw in our plan was bringing the duck!”
Brick Bradford
May 24th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

I remember Dick and Jane. I always thought the “S” was for Spot, their dog.
At our school we also used the Jack and Janet books. Jack and Janet were brunette rather than blond and their dog was named Tip. It was pretty much the same thing only different, only J&J were aimed at a slightly more advanced reading level.
ChattyGenes
May 24th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

#79 (and other numbers), Deena and Dale,

I liked “Weekly Readers” (especially the way they SMELLED, just taken out of the package!), but those “Dig Deeper” questions really used to stump me half the time. (My grade school years: 1958-1964.)
Carter
May 24th, 2008 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

Note that Mary isn’t capable of _knowing_ when her help is warranted, she’s capable of _deciding_. That’s her job. Mary Worth is the decider.
Bobdog
May 24th, 2008 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

How did that dependent clause with a reference to a specific, actual person make it through the H&J editorial process?
kelsy
May 24th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

The third panel of Mark Trail looks like Mark is molding a ball of what was once a dog. I guess that’s one way of sneaking in a dog.
sally
May 24th, 2008 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

#79 Deena — I remember SRA kits! I loved them them too. I was always getting in trouble for reading ahead in group reading sessions and then not knowing where we were when it was my turn to read aloud.

Dick and Jane was before my time but I highly recommend “Yiddish with Dick and Jane” to anyone who encountered Dick or Jane or especially Sally in grade school.
Bobdog
May 24th, 2008 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Of course just because Mary’s help isn’t warranted means nothing — she’ll still give it. Do you seriously think a silly little thing like need will get in her way?

…and when she says “warranted” she really means a court ordered writ — but Mary is an advice giving vigilante, so, in her mind, such legal formalities don’t apply to her meddling.
sally
May 24th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

Re today’s FOOB — what I want to know is, if Elly is god’s gift to the world of evening child care why the hell can’t she watch the kids at their own house, which if memory serves is JUST DOWN THE STREET FROM WHERE ELLY LIVES NOW, so that Deanna won’t have to carry sleeping Robin home and put him back to bed at whatever godforsaken hour it was when Mike and Weed finally stopped reminiscing about the good ol’ days in their dingy apartment filled with bean fumes and dirty laundry???

Also, that is the ugliest housecoat I have ever seen.
Stev0
May 24th, 2008 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth hinting there are times her help might not be wanted? Mark Trail torturing animals (stuffing one in his shirt and leaving the other to roast to death in a hot car)? Herb and Jamaal using a proper noun?!? Is today Opposite Day in Comic Strip land? Quick, somebody check to see if Archie was written by a human and Garfield has a new joke!
Carly
May 25th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

That puppy shrank between panels one and three. Fits better in Mark’s shirt now, but still not all that well.

I’m oddly charmed that GT included the opening upside down question mark, as is proper in Spanish.
C. Havoc
May 25th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

#45 Lou: Outstanding. Probably won’t make COTW for lack of a self contained contextual reference, but we’re all laughing out here.
Crankenstank
May 25th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

I’d make a crack about Mary Worth along the lines of the Fox Guarding the Chicken Coop, but that might imply Mary’s a fox, and not a sad, sad, cougar.
nancois
May 25th, 2008 at 12:14 am [Reply]

MW – I’m sorry, is Dr. Jeff trying to out-meddle Mary? I am trying to think exactly what Mary and Ron still have to talk about. It seems as if they covered it all.

Early Readers – we had Mark, Janet and their dog, Socks. That brings back memories, along with the smells of freshly ditto-machined handouts. These pre-date the Ditto jeans…and then somewhere along the way, everybody’s pants started to fall off. *sigh*
bats :[
May 25th, 2008 at 12:18 am [Reply]

Sunday! Sunday!

FC: Thel’s heart breaks as she realizes that PJ is just as stupid as the three older ones…

Blondie: …and Dagwood, Blondie and Daisy realize that none of them have any idea why Dagwood’s ended up standing in an empty bathtub…

JP: …while Sam has a chilling visualization of Elvira stuffed into an orange prison uniform, resembling the biggest pumpkin ever grown in the county…

MT: .Try as he might, Mark is unable to include any mention of his extensive research on midichlorians in the Sunday edition.

MW: In spite of Jeff’s temper tantrum, Mary maintains her cool demeanor, showing him that she is indeed the master of self-control (and Jeff is just a whiny little weenie)…

Mutts: and everyone with cats wishes it were that easy!

Phantom: yes, man, scream! Scream like you’re being accosted by a stripey-assed, unitarded freak!

RMMD: sorry, Rex. Bor-ing. I could be mashing you right now, making you say witty and urbane things, showing off your quick humor and wise ways, but — oh, hell, who am I kidding?

FOOB: …and the dumb birds’ symbiotic partner — a dumb ass.
Thirty years of material (something like 1500 Sunday panels), and *this* is the cream of the crop?
Norm
May 25th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

H+J: Why bother using the cumbersome phrase “spiritual leaders like the Dalai Lama”? Why couldn’t they say “The Dalai Lama is very wise” or something more to the point. Still, I’m impressed that they actually said the guys real name for once, and not some vague gobbledygook like “that exiled asian spiritual leader who’s been in the news recently”.
captainswift
May 25th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

“You know that famous spiritual leader from that eastern religion?”

Fixed the first panel in H&J.
Norm
May 25th, 2008 at 12:25 am [Reply]

BTW did anyone read today’s Archie srtip? In the last panel, Archie is able to rotate his head a full 180 degrees.
Orange Doorhinge
May 25th, 2008 at 12:27 am [Reply]

I think Mary Worth is in love with Ron.
Krazy Kat
May 25th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

Mary Worth SCHOOLED your ass, Dr. Jeff Corey. And when Mary schools you, you stay schooled!
Booyah!
Krazy Kat
May 25th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

#93 Crankenstank
Was that supposed to be “a sad, sad codger”
Cougar … codger…they both work
Wolf Shepherd
May 25th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

GA – Amanda Lynn’s wedding goes bad and an old friend drops by for a visit. The author would have us believe that sparks fly and he catches her on the rebound, but this is what I think is more likely to have transpired.
Nurse with a penis
May 25th, 2008 at 2:10 am [Reply]

#79 – I had SRA reading kits too! – in late elementary. Early elementary was “Tag” about a dog. Main characters were Dot and Jim which were easier words than Dick and Jane.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 2:44 am [Reply]

# 102 Wolf — BWAHAHA! Excellent!
Mibbitmaker
May 25th, 2008 at 2:45 am [Reply]

Sunday Unfunnies:

MT: I refuse to believe that Oliver North’s lawyer may reduce toxins by as much as 75%!

HtH: True! Also true for their wives.

FW: Sad when Tom Batiuk and the WoI writer have basically the same lame joke in one week.

FC: Yeah, PJ is his siblings’ brother, alright. I did find it funny, though.

FOOB: I actually kinda liked this one. It’s Peanuts-y. Minus a couple of points, though, given all Lynn’s “My pal Sparky” stuff. I may also add a point for the MacNelly c. 1975 “s” in “worms” just the same.

Shoe: “…I am a bit worried, though… I hear Skyler’s potential girlfriend just shaved her head…”
Diamond Joe
May 25th, 2008 at 2:51 am [Reply]

BB: Well, you learn something new every day. Wikipedia says that Kenny G set a world record of a 48-minute continuous note, only to have it nearly doubled by a Costa Rican saxophonist less than a year later. At that point, I’d think mastery of circular breathing would become the second most important factor, after one’s boredom threshold. The strip wasn’t funny, mind you, but at least it wasn’t a total loss.

BH: It’s kind of nice to see all four gags focused on one theme for a change.

Bizarro: I like the gag. If only they would take the piece of pie with them. “Old, unfunny running cryptic… thing! It comes with us!”

Blondie: The odd thing is that Blondie’s expression looks a lot less like anger than like a need to be reassured. So what Dag is running away from, I don’t know.

Crock: So you take a right at the fort to get to the fort? And I’m not sure how helpful “rights” and “lefts” are in the trackless desert. And then all this gets us is two panels that could have been a daily strip by themselves.

Curtis: Nice switch-up. Took me totally off guard.

DtM: First a glass of milk spontaneously appears, then a straw in the milk. And yet it’s about Mr. Wilson and his deferment. You’d think the strip would get a little excited that Dennis is the Lathe of Heaven.

Doonesbury: See, because Americans eat a lot! Ha ha!

FC: PJ is a Bottle Rocket fan.

BM of EL & FW: No matter which side you’re on, facile “we’re right, they’re wrong” political humor just isn’t that funny.

H&L: Never mind the Flagstons– the important thing here is that the restaurant seems to have discovered a new kind of ice with the same density as liquid water.

HtH: “And except those of you with feudal obligations… which would be all of us. (long pause) Okay, never mind, guys.”

JP: That look on Sam’s face clearly says, “Oh, crap! And just when I’m fresh out of doobage.” By the way, when Abbey said “Elvira wants to see me,” I suddenly got an image of her going toe-to-toe with the Mistress of the Dark, cleavage-a-cleavage. I’ll just go back to that image now, if you don’t mind…

LC: See, because… uh… polar bears displaced by melting of the polar ice caps have become “undocumented immigrants” to the U.S.? That’s all I’ve got. Ha ha?

MT: “Life would long ago have ceased to exist”? Tell that to anaerobic bacteria, and undersea thermal vent ecosystems. Also, as you can see, today Mark is making a field trip to Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, the deer he left in charge of the office appreciate the air-cleansing plants he left behind. If I didn’t know they were the same person, I’d swear the writer and artist didn’t even look at each other’s work.

Marvin: Armstrong obviously just cut-and-pasted the illo from the first dialogue panel into the throwaway panel. That’s some Olympic-level laziness. It’s the top tier that double-dog dares editors to waste valuable comics-pages space on it. Still, he has finally gotten around to redrawing the title panel to reflect Marvin’s current age.

MG&G: What does the punchline even mean? That the cat’s a half-wit? But you’d think a half-wit could reach wit’s end; it would just take half as much to get there.

MC: By day, it’s an ordinary stapler. But at night, it becomes (click!) Agent J…

Momma: You know, if you’re old enough not to be living at home, you’re old enough not to ask your mom if you can take a trip with a guy.

PMP: Gah! It’s Pluggerism! It’s spreading like the plague!! How are we going to kill it?!?

RMMD: He knows what Rex Morgan did last summer.

SlyF: The difference is that only one of them is copiously crapping his pants.

S-M: Go back to sleep! This is the most action we’ve seen in months!

Ziggy: Are they arguing about which one has to give him the anal probe?

Also amused me: Garfield (!), R&R
Mr. O'Malley
May 25th, 2008 at 3:20 am [Reply]

PC: Isn’t that slogan from pre-1992? Wouldn’t this joke be more or less unintelligible to anyone under the age of 24 or so? It’s hardly a new joke, why wait until now to use it? Or is this a recycled strip from the Reagan era?

PmP: Pluggers parody!

I’m going to do a video of Palindramas with a soundtrack by Schoenberg. You may call it “experimental comics and serial music”.
Kate
May 25th, 2008 at 3:37 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Mary Worth is one of the most boring arguments I have ever, ever heard or read, ever, including graduate school.

That is, till you get to the last panel and Dr. Jeff’s chin is suddenly replaced by a breast. It has a nipple and everything.
Sheila Sternwell
May 25th, 2008 at 3:38 am [Reply]

I’m still stuck on Saturday.

MW: The pout on Dr. Jeff’s face would have been good enough — it makes him look like Bobby Hill — but Mary’s little tantrum was like another layer of delicious Worthcake.

GT: Mrs. Coach Thorp got collagen lip implants!
True Fable
May 25th, 2008 at 4:45 am [Reply]

I am feeling AWFUL so my snark should have that extra-savory crunch to it tonight.

I used to work at the textbook company that produced the Fun with Dick and Jane series. They were on display in a glass case in the lobby. It was kind of neat working there, extra sweet because I learned to read at home faster than I learned at school and that kind of rattled the teacher.

Me and two other kids who could read were placed on the back row and were told to practice our penmanship or draw while the rest of the class worked on “see dick run”. I sat and re-created Nancy and Beetle Bailey in my Big Chief tablet, never dreaming of the day when I would be here now, talking to people I like but never met before, and having a completely different and much different take on “see dick run” now.

Okay, I’m going to snark on the funnies and then crawl back into bed.
ChattyGenes
May 25th, 2008 at 4:45 am [Reply]

#108 Kate. (who wrote: “Sunday’s Mary Worth is one of the most boring arguments I have ever, ever heard or read, ever, including graduate school.”)

Even so, I find myself reacting sort of like Flounder in “Animal House”–”Oh, boy! This is GREAT!”

We soap-strip readers have to take our fun where we can get it. After all, “The plots ‘ll pick up…tomorrow…” It almost never happens.
ChattyGenes
May 25th, 2008 at 4:50 am [Reply]

#110 True Fable. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. I hope today’s comics will help!

And for what it’s worth, I’m sending you lots of good thoughts and good energy:-) Hope you’ll feel better soon!
Donald The Anarchist
May 25th, 2008 at 5:05 am [Reply]

H&J What the hell church does this guy pastor at? Church of Miles Davis? Instead of “Amen” do they respond with “Dig” and “Craaazy, mannnn”? Is their Holy Trinity Big Daddy, J.C. and the Spook? Far out!
True Fable
May 25th, 2008 at 5:08 am [Reply]

A3G Yeah, blah blah blah. If it was good stuff to resnark over that would be different, but this shit’s just moldy.
JP Look at the light bulb going off over Sam’s head. “Pot?! So that explains the way she acted the other night! Of course, that still doesn’t explain why I actually had sex with her the next day and even got all smug about it with Gloria later that morning! Gosh, I figured it out all by myself, I must be a hell of a smart guy! I hope Biff has a good lawyer. I wish I was one.”
MT Hey, where’s the panel about silk flowers, because that’s the only kind I can keep alive.
MW “We had PLANS! (my usual hoping for sex!) I was looking forward to tomorrow (just can’t get enough of the Bum Boat!) You CAN help it, you just don’t WANT to! (you two timing little bitch, I came home from Vietnam so you can meddle some other man? Fuck you, Mary, I’m going to go all pointy finger on you, and you’re gonna LIKE it!)”
RMMDDS Panel one shows Rex digging in the trash. Panel four shows Rex … sniffing his fingers? Tasting his fingers? Whichever the case, I think that pretty much answers her question to the guy in the final panel.
FBoFW Guess Elly didn’t care about kids coming in to dinner until years later, when April had homework to finish. I mean what the hell is this, the child is outside all day until after DARK falls, and Elly and John are nowhere to be seen. Yeah, Elly, you were such a good mom. Fuck you.
BB For God’s sake don’t show that to Sarge or Beetle, they’ll be late for roll call the next day.
DtM I thought at one time Mr. Wilson boasted about his army days or something. Well, retcons in the military are nothing new these days, either.
FC I like PJ, the kid’s got potential to really mess with their minds.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi, you are such a hopeless dumbshit, I swear.
True Fable
May 25th, 2008 at 5:11 am [Reply]

# 112 Chatty Genes – Aww, thank you sweet darlin’, I appreciate it! You’re such a sweetheart.
mcmc
May 25th, 2008 at 7:31 am [Reply]

Doctor Jeff Corey has learned too well the “me first” lesson Mary taught him in Vietnam. She’s going to have to take corrective measures. I don’t think I can watch this.
gleeb
May 25th, 2008 at 8:32 am [Reply]

Mark, yesterday: Puppies tire easily. Mark probably chased it for 10 minutes before putting it under his shirt. It’ll just sleep.

Dick: Ohhhh, now I get it. He name’s like “Sherlock Holmes”. Before Tracy has that though balloon, I was confused.

H&J: Uh oh, Herb’s being tempted by Catholics. Alert Hepcat Minister!

A3G: Honestly, I want to know more about that guy in the cap. Who is he? Where’s he going? Just out to get some food, or is he one of the many who have night-jobs, keeping the city running? He’s gotta be more interesting than Alan, the Square Junkie.

Bizarro: Funny. But what does General Booth know about interrogation techniques used on agnostics?

Curtis: Hey, don’t worry. With the amount you smoke, you’ll be dead before you’re 60.

Parker: Sam’s miffed. And why not? Why do they want to see her and not a lawyer?

Pardon my Planet: Pluggers are unable to keep themselves fed.

Phantom: A big purple guy with a wolf just disarmed him without a struggle. I don’t think he has to fake the terror.

Zippy: “Free-form jazz”, eh? You know, Sonny Rollins has twice stopped performing to regain his artistic bearings. Think about it, Griffy.
Ol'Froth
May 25th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

I thought the weird symbol-ish thing in H&J was The-Artist-Formally-Known-As-Prince’s new monogram?
One-eyed Wolfdog
May 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am [Reply]

Mark’s thinking, “Oh, how that sweet little girl’s face will light up when I whip this puppy out!”

Cherry, I imagine, would have no comment.
And The
May 25th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

Phantom: Oh, Sunday Phantom, how I love thee. It’s great to see him actually in action, rather than playing acting supervisor. I particularly love seeing Devil in panel four. Know your role! Pity the next week box is pretty dull.

S-M: Ugh, why does JJJ need to be involved in this damn storyline at all? Are the writers under the utterly false impression anyone finds him funny or interesting?
John C Fremont
May 25th, 2008 at 9:50 am [Reply]

# 117 Gleeb – Yeah, all I could focus on in A3G was that guy. At first I figured he was a genuine 1930’s street kid, but that hat. Looks more like a Desert Storm army helmet. He may be a mixed up vet suffering from post traumatic stress. And the fact that he appears to be having a serious talk with that wall shows that he needs help, not judgement from Lisa Trusiani.

Foob – Would a kid that age really use the word “defunct?”

Blondie – ??????

MT – I checked the Times Union just to make sure the Washington Post hadn’t screwed up the color. Where’s all this green he’s talking about? Bad colorist! Elrod’s trying to make a point. Help the guy out!

MW – Until True Fable mentioned it earlier, it really hadn’t occurred to me that Jeff was planning on “getting some” from Mary as part of their date. That certainly explains why he’s pissed off, but, ew!!

Phantom – “Next: Evidence!”
“There’s evidence (Evidence)
Evidence (Evidence)
Evidence (Evidence)
There’s evidence (Evidence)
There’s evidence of settlements with one long village street.
Farmsteads, hamlets, little towns, the framework was complete…”

RMMD – Rex checks his breath. That’s how you find out for sure.

SFx – That is one adorable squirrel! I think the use of the word “terriffic” is most certainly warranted.

JP – “And could you bend over just a bit more as you get up, ma’am?”

“Busted, you say? Busted flat? In Baton Rouge?
queek
May 25th, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

80: “its something for our American friends”
one of my favorite Q lines ever.

SFx: I’m not sure whether to be amazed at the awesome FoxJet logo, or amused that the answer is that Sly is looking for some Max-tail.

MC: *giggle* “more than meets the eye!”

Luanne: We give Evans a (well-deserved) raft of crap most of the time, but today’s Habitat for Comics Humanity was pretty sweet. Did a heck of a job on the various characters, only Dag is really noticably “off”.

Frazz is a visual delight, even more so than usual. Mallett does wonderful work.

Nice MAD magazine shout-out in Non Sequitur.

PBS: *groan* (nothing will ever match the joy that was the “my enemy the anemone” strips)

SF: last panel Sally = win

FatCat: Jon, you numbskull, this is where you suggest the trenchcoat. JUST the trenchcoat, and a dinner in.
John C Fremont
May 25th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

Hey, I just read that Dick Martin died. I never cared for Dan Rowan, but I liked Dick Martin. (I almost said “I liked Dick,” but I was afraid someone would take that the wrong way.)

Anyway, I’m kind of sad.
Wilbur of the North
May 25th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

Dick Martin was great..you bet your sweet bippy he was!!!!

And for us folkies, Utah Phillips has departed, too.
dbp
May 25th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

May 24, 2008: Herb and Jamaal uses a proper noun other than “Herb” or “Jamaal”. Take note.
Shoshi
May 25th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

FOOB – Isn’t anyone going to ask the burning question about Lawrence being black? Or did he have a race change surgery at some point??
Tess
May 25th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

I swear, that last panel of Herb and Jamaal looks like they’re having hot sex again. Only this time they’ve paid a male-prostitute to dress as a priest and tell them what dirty, sinful little boys they are.
Squid Countess
May 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Sunday MW – I felt a frisson (or something spelled kind of like that) of fear when I saw Mary eyeing Jeff’s pointing finger in the last panel. Jesus! She is going to break that thing off and stuff it up his nose so far, he’ll be able to scratch his own brain.

True Fable – Sorry you’re sick!

Orange DoorHinge – Coolest user name ever, should my opinion matter, which it doesn’t.

Poteet – Hey! I’ve been too long away, but I’m returning! Don’t you find that life lacks a little mystery now that Gil Thorp is drawn in perspective, with people’s arms and heads and hairlines appropriately placed, and everyone’s gender clearly delineated? I hate it. How are you coping? I’ve got to go to work =( but will check back in about 9 hours hoping for some insight from you. – Squiddy
Shoshi
May 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am [Reply]

126 – OK, looking at Lawrence’s info on the FOOB site, I see he is Honduran. I guess he used to be dark-skinned Honduran, but the Canadian climate forced him to lighten up?
Sarah
May 25th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

BC: “Sploof”?
Ichi
May 25th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Mark Trail don’t need no stinkin’ badge!
JDL
May 25th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

I don’t think that’s a fair comment– Mary’s telling the truth. She is capable of deciding when her help is warranted and when it isn’t. She just doesn’t care.

Also, hi everyone!
fishmorgjp
May 25th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Mark hides a puppy in his shirt? That’s just silly — what he should do is wear a top hat, and hide the puppy in there. What would look nicer, a black silk topper, or a purple velvet Willy Wonka one?
TheDiva
May 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

126 + 129 Shoshi: After all the ethnic confusion in this strip I guess I’d just taken it as a given that the residents of Milboredom were part chameleon.
LTBF
May 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Foob:Since when is Lawrence black? Isn’t he the gay guy who owns the plant shop Liz slums at in the summers?
Edgy DC
May 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Who’s writing Herb and Jamaal these days? Not only is he having the wrong reverend pop in for the punch line, but he has them specifically reference the Dalai Lama, instead of some construction like “Hey, did you you hear what the 14th incarnation of the Eastern spiritual masters said?”

I always got the idea tehy were afraid they would be smote by lightning if they spoke about a famous person even semi-specifically. turns out it’s Reverend Earring that they fear.
Tess
May 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

I thought that it was weird that they mentioned an actual name, yeah. But I was a little more concerned with the fact that Herb (the small one is herb, right?) claims that there aren’t very many places he hasn’t been. I don’t see him as much of a traveler.
I guess thats why Jamaal is taking him to PLEASURE TOWN in the last panel…. yeah!
Ribinin of the Jungle Patrol
May 25th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

136 Edgy DC: “Hey, did you you hear what the 14th incarnation of the Eastern spiritual masters said?”

Oh, I think we can get more generic than that.

“Hey, did you you hear what the most recent incarnation of the Eastern spiritual masters said?”

I alway assumed that their reason for genericity was for when H&J “classic” started in a few years.
A Lemur
May 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

MW: No, Jeff, No! NOT THE FINGER! That’s like poking a cobra, in fact, Mary’s neck flaps have distended and she’s rearing back for the strike. Good lord man, run while you can.

DT: “…we’ll be working closely together”
Shirl: “You may think so Tracy.”

…what? Obviously somethin’ taint right with ol’ Shirl, which, let’s be honest here, you don’t have to have the detectavating abilities of DT to figure out, but is this supposed to be even vaguely portentious? “You may think we’ll be working closely together, Tracy, but in reality we WON’T be working closely together. HaHaHaHaHa.”

I’m actually holding out hope that is is really Moon Maid’s sister come to exact revenge for the death of Moon Maid that she blames Tracy for. At last, a plot that would make sense in DT…
John C Fremont
May 25th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

# 132 – Hi, Dr. Nick!

# 136 & 138 – Still too specific. How about, “Did you hear what was said by that spiritual leader that everyone’s talking about?” Or maybe Mary Worth can help us be even more nebulous. “I’ve heard it said that…”

Mary Worth; The Great Quoter of Non-Specified Spiritual Leaders! On bookshelves now!

I forgot to mention it when it was relevant, but I also had to deal with Dick, Jane and Sally. But more to the point, I also remember the National Lampoon parody.
“Would you like a roll, Jane?” said Dick.
“Yes, I would like a roll. Where is the roll?” said Jane.
“In the hay. Would you like a roll in the hay?” said Dick.
“And how!” said Jane.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Foob — Oy, this is so painful. When I was young, I too tried to trap birds. But if faulty memory serves, it was only once or twice, and I used a box propped up with a stick tied to a string, which at least didn’t damage the yard. And now I do conservation work while Michael wastes tree pulp on the worst prose in the world. So please poop on him, birds, not me.
Wolf Shepherd
May 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

#121 JCF – “MW – Until True Fable mentioned it earlier, it really hadn’t occurred to me that Jeff was planning on “getting some” from Mary as part of their date. That certainly explains why he’s pissed off…”

Oh, I think there is more to it than that. Pehaps you missed this MW cartoon,which apparently wound up on the cutting room floor.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

# 140 John C Fremont — I remember that Lampoon version too, har har. And remember Puff? I really liked Puff, and in retrospect, it was partly because Puff didn’t say dumb things like “Run, Jane, run!”
Tacy
May 25th, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

Today’s Garfield dialogue reads more like a Cathy strip, doesn’t it?
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

# 128 — Squid Countess, it’s so good to see you here again! Welcome! May the squid in all the oceans wave their tentacles to acclaim your return!

I would agree with you re (DT)GT but for the fact that as you can see in # 61 on this thread, I still can’t cope with the art or tell the girls from the boys. However, I only look at (DT)GT when Josh posts it, so it doesn’t matter. Sympathies with your having to work today, and I look forward to more of your snark. With MW on the move, you are needed here!
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

# 142 Wolf — You owe me a keyboard.
John C Fremont
May 25th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

# 141 Poteet – Funny you should say “Oy.” By coincidence, I just finished watching the VidLit for “Yiddish with Dick and Jane” right before I came back and saw your comment. And geez, I had completely forgotten about Puff!

# 142 Wolf Shepherd – Again, ew!
bats :[
May 25th, 2008 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

103. Nurse with a penis (hopefully one’s own, as opposed to a patient’s): I didn’t realize that Tag was an SRA-associated book. I had both, and it seems Tag was a phonics-based reading system while the Dick and Jane books leaned toward whole-word reading system.
The combination seemed to work. I rede reel gud now.

106. Diamond Joe, re MT: yes, there are other forms of life, but they’re not punch-worthy adversaries, so they’re under Mark’s radar.

re JP: holy moley, I didn’t even consider the Mistress of the Dark with Abbey! Imagine a prison movie with the two of them as cellmates! Yikes! Yoiks! And Yikes again!

128. Squid Countess: yow, it’s been a long time seeing you here! Anyhoo, I’m trying to figure out why Dr. Jeff (it’s pronounced “der-jeff”, like I pronounce Dr. Phil as “der-fill”) is being so insistent all of a sudden when he’s always been a very Type B personality. I’m thinking:

(A) he’s dying;
(B) he’s planning on proposing to Mary (and he’s already ordered a special Hostess cupcake with the ring inside as dessert);
(C) he’s just a putz.

I don’t even think Mary’s going to need to snap off anything and cram it up anywhere…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2522062384/
Islamorada Girl
May 25th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

FOOB” Maybe Elly used her mighty powers to lighten Lawrence up so he’d “fit In” better with this skim milk and Wonderbread world that is Miserieboro. Oh, how I hate you, Lynn.
Mibbitmaker
May 25th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

#144 (Tacy): Except that nobody in “Cathy” would ever say, “Hooray for guys”… except maybe with heavy sarcasm.

MW: The throwaway panels: Mary… maybe it has something to do with… oh, I dunno… the fact that he’s a doctor, and you‘re just a amature, freelance meddler??? Puts the whole Vietnam thing in ugly perspective.

MW: Uh-oh! These two playing I’m-Bill-Clinton,-You’re-Chris-Wallace is not going to go very well! (Let’s watch……)

And, is it my imagination, or does Dr. Jeff look like one of the Amalfi brothers in that last panel…? (Shudder!!)
Little Guy
May 25th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

56, 79, et al: That’s John, Jane, and Judy (John as the oldest because he had two letters above the ‘double lines’, Jane with one, and Judy as the youngest with one above and one below.’

There was another parallel parochial family with two older siblings and the twins Carl and Claire. Very Catholic with much praying. Good arc for a reading book, with the family getting the mumps, visit to a farm, Claire gets lost in the woods, father loses his job and family has to live in the city, and much much more.

And the SRAs were self-paced. I never got out of Aqua, for some reason.

ObCC — PBS: Don’t retire. Please.

Tank: I LOL’d
Little Guy
May 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Gay….. black… to LJ, if it’s a non-Patterson trait, it doesn’t matter.

Sort-of-connected: I see there’s another set of Christian-ish Singles ad (miss you CSG!), but at first glance, I thought it was two guys. Christian Gay Singles?
ihateaphids
May 25th, 2008 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

re: Gil Thorp panel 1: I don’t remember the female form having so many angles.
LTBF
May 25th, 2008 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

I only recently started reading Mary worth (thanks to this place) and I’m not up on all the characters. Is that guy supposed to be Mary’s boyfriend? He looks young enough to be her son.
commodorejohn
May 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

A3G – Things I Learned From Apartment 3-G, #137: the appropriate currency for purchasing drugs is ofuda.

BB – Today’s Beetle Bailey, while not especially funny, tells a surprisingly coherent and in-character story. (Well, I don’t recall Killer ever playing the sax before, but otherwise…) Did the Walkers finally kick off and the syndicate brought in someone young and not-senile to run the strip?

Crankshaft – Crankdaughter, you’re not moving. That’s the idea behind a treadmill.

Crock – Crock made me laugh today. I’m worried.

DTM – Wow, Mrs. Wilson is more menacing than Dennis.

DT – Last time a Dick Tracy character pulled their face off to reveal their true identity, it was nightmarish, but I think in Shirl’s case it’ll be sweet, sweet relief.

FW – Batiuk, shut up. There’s enough political cartoonists out there already who think that deriding those they disagree with while smirking constitutes “humor.” Don’t you have some characters’ lives to ruin?

HOTC – Well, I’m asking, Heart: I don’t care how well you sing, please break into the business and end the horrible monstrosity that is Hannah Montana.

JP – Another Sunday, another exceptionally gorgeous Judge Park-SWEET JESUS WHO IS THAT IN THE FINAL PANEL IS THAT SAM!? HE LOOKS LIKE FREAKING REX MORGAN

MT – I very much hope that the unidentified sauropod in the middle left panel presages some dinosaur-themed Mark Trail Sundays. Nothing, of course, could ever live up to Bill Watterson’s dinosaurs, but if there’s one man in the funnies willing to give his all to drawing animals, it’s Jack Elrod, and it would at least be totally awesome.

MW – BIDDY FIGHT! BIDDY FIGHT!

MC – Hells yes.

NAOQV – ATTN: New Adventures Of Queen Victoria staff – you may wish to consider not using watermarked photographs in your strip in the future.

PBS – Wow, these are some of the most hilariously tortured puns I’ve seen outside of Irregular Webcomic!

Popeye – How is there a computer in Popeye that isn’t a TRS-80? …wait, how is there a computer in Popeye at all?

RMMD – Boy, Shredder’s fallen on hard times.
electro
May 25th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

I’m offended that the reverand Hepcat B Dracula would try to convert Herb, the only Zoroastrian in the whole damn town.

Also by the proportions and just generally horrible legs in panel one of GT. Do artists for this strip have to prove that they can’t draw realistically proportioned humans before they’re even considered?
Wolf Shepherd
May 25th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

GA - Here is another episode in the on-going saga of “Amanda Lynn on the Rebound.” Enjoy.
LTBF
May 25th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

155-Unless Lynn “Let’s change people’s race” Johnson is now drawing BB, that is Lt. Flapp, not Killer, playing the sax.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
May 25th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Jeff is right. This whole storyline was about getting Ron and Rich to be friends again. They made up. Why isn’t Ron going to Rich for comfort? He’s his brother, and knew his mother well. There were a ton of friends and family at the funeral that he could confine in, and yet somehow he just needs Mary Worth, who barely knew any of them? How come he made up with his brother, and then hasn’t spoken to him since?

Mostly I just want Jeff to try to put Mary in her place. After the Chester debacle I’ve been waiting. I hope he wins this time.
commodorejohn
May 25th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

#158 LBTF – Ah, you’re right. The mustache always throws me off. That and the occasional inexplicable race-change.
Lou Shumaker
May 25th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

The inspiration for FC’s Thel has died:

PHOENIX (AP) — Thelma Keane, the inspiration for the Mommy character in the long-running “Family Circus” comic created by her husband, Bil Keane, has died. She was 82.

She died Friday of Alzheimer’s disease, the family said.

… “She was the inspiration for all of my success,” Bil Keane, 85, told The Associated Press from his home in Paradise Valley on Sunday.

… Not only was Thelma Keane the inspiration for the always-loving and ever-patient comic character also named Thel, but she worked full-time as her husband’s business and financial manager. Her family says she was the reason Bil Keane became one of the first syndicated newspaper cartoonists to win back all rights to his comic.

“There was nothing that I did in the cartoon world or in the business world that she wasn’t the instigator of, and she certainly deserves all the credit that I get credit for,” Bil Keane said.

There’s a quite a bit more, but I’ll stop here. The rest is available online elsewhere.

I know that y’all will join me in mourning her passing, and send along good thoughts and prayers to Bil and his family for their loss. Thel did a lot of good in her life, and she’ll be remembered fondly for that.
LTBF
May 25th, 2008 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

Sad news. Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease, on both the victim and on the family members.
Buck Ripsnort
May 25th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

PBS: Obvious example of a strip written backward– must’ve taken Pastis hours to get from Obama Osama Llama diorama to the present drama.
Slylock: Shouldn’t Max be easy to identify? He’s the one screaming, flailing his arms and pooping himself. Instead, they all look heavily drugged.
commodorejohn
May 25th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

“Not only was Thelma Keane the inspiration for the always-loving and ever-patient comic character also named Thel, but she worked full-time as her husband’s business and financial manager.”
In other words, she was the inspriation for just about nothing in the comic-strip Thel?

Anyway, that’s too bad. My condolences to the Keane Klan.
Orange Doorhinge
May 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Yesterday Mary pointed her finger at Dr. Jeff. Today he pointed his finger Back At Her! What next? Since they never actually touch one another I can’t see it coming to blows. Major head bobbles? or the RMMD Nurse’s Chuckie -ike head spinning thing?
Gabacho
May 25th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – In the last panel, Mary looks like someone just dropped a house on her sister. It’s a good look for her.

I love today’s Mary Worth more than any other I have ever seen including the Aldo cliff dive and the broken swans.

There is so much more to say but I am just going to sit in the corner and weep with joy for a while.
The Wild Sow
May 25th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Lawrence used to be Black??

Er, excuse me — “African-Canadian“!

Oh, wait. Honduran-Canadian?? Isn’t he Connie’s son? Plain ol’ white-bread-Canadian Connie? What’s his dad? Is Lawrence adopted?
Wolf Shepherd
May 25th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

MW - There is a lot of tension in today’s Mary Worth, but bubbling underneath is a career crisis. Take a look.
Lou Shumaker
May 25th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Wolf: That’s great! I thought Mary tells jokes just fine. We need more of them, so they’ll get in the way of the plot.
Plasma
May 25th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Get Fuzzy: I read Pillars of the Earth a long time ago. The only thing I remember is that there was a lot of sex. Also possibly some sort of cathedral. Is Darby Conley promoting promuscuity in his readers?

Garfield: I was actually a little amused at today’s Garfield. Why, though? It’s the exact same joke Cathy makes every day. Perhaps a “women are crazy” joke told from the point of view of a guy is funnier than the same joke told from the point of view of a woman who doesn’t seem to actually realize it’s supposed to be funny.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

I just realized that today’s ZITS, minus the annoying teenager, is a fairly accurate depiction of my current technological lifestyle. Time for some very large drinks.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

# 170 Plasma — I read it too, and I remember a lot of human suffering, possibly including torture. And definitely a cathedral. Also major injustice and considerable brooding and plotting. I don’t remember any sex. Damn.
Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol
May 25th, 2008 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

I’ve got to throw my version into the flurry of excellent Mary mashups today.
Zaq
May 25th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

170 Plasma: Good, I thought I was the only one who remembered that book containing way, way more graphic sex than just about any other book I’ve personally read… and I read it back in junior high, too, so that was weird as hell, to say the least. Anyway.

I’m loving the new developments in MW mainly because, if this is going somewhere, I can’t see where, in contrast to MW’s usual telegraphed plot twists. Nothing’s allowed to change in the strip, obviously, so Dr. Jeff isn’t going anywhere (much as I would love to see her drive him away)… but Mary’s also never allowed to admit she’s wrong or back down one angstrom, so she can’t yield either. Also, angry Mary! Gotta love it.

Is it me, or has A3G been going in circles even more than usual lately? I mean, in addition to the normal Sunday repeat. That’s expected. It just seems like we’ve seen this acted out more than the usual two or three times. It’s like Dick Locher is ghostwriting or something. Speaking of Dick Locher, bets on what horrible “Allergy” pun the new villain’s name is going to be? Al R. G.? Al Erji? Al Urge E.? We’ll find out, of course, and by the time they’re done with it we’ll be asking to see the three people standing in front of the “gross” paintings again, but now’s the time to “speculate,” so to speak.
Invisible Me
May 25th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

#167, Lawrence’s father is black and Honduran.

Does this make Lawrence the gay Canadian Obama?
Invisible Me
May 25th, 2008 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

“Thelma Keane is survived by her five children, nine grandchildren and a sister in her native Australia. ”

So the all-American Thel was modeled after Thelma Keane, an Australian?

And which kid got written out?
KT
May 25th, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

MT: “The green blood of the Earth”… so the Earth is a Vulcan?

[raises eyebrow]
Fascinating.
Shoshi
May 25th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Well, I THOUGHT Lawrence was adopted…but I suppose his mom could have brought the souvenir back some OTHER way…
Orange Doorhinge
May 25th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

I just re-read Pillars Of The Earth, and it’s sequel World Without End. Cathedrals and lots of sex, and this time the Black Death.
ChattyGenes
May 25th, 2008 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080525/ap_en_ot/obit_thelma_keane;_ylt=AnHcRktl3FSsGz7l8kdrZSis0NUE

Apologies if this has already been mentioned or linked to. It’s an article about how Thel (the original Thel in Family Circus) has died.
Poteet
May 25th, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

So PILLARS OF THE EARTH was full of graphic sex and I can’t remember it? This is so sad (sniff). Was it good graphic sex or bad graphic sex? Never mind.
ChattyGenes
May 25th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

#180, me. Whoops, I see her mentioned in #76. And possibly before. Sorry. I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to read all previous posts.
ChattyGenes
May 25th, 2008 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

#182 me. And that would be #176. I’m going to quit now!

(Hi, Poteet!)
anonymous
May 25th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

#167 (and others) – FOOB: Lawrence is the offspring of his white Canadian suburban mom and an affair she had with a black doctor in Honduras. She and the doctor were there doing good works in a clinic (I think she was a nurse), things just happened, but the doctor may have been married, I forget. Anyway, Lawrence is her souvenier.
CanuckDownSouth
May 25th, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Laurence’s real rundown is the following:

LJ originally wrote Connie as single mom, recently divorced, L slightly tan (Sundays and a bit of shading in the B&W – the amount of tan varied, but L wasn’t supposed to be just white). It was later revealed (Liz had just grown her hair beyond the bowl cut, realized L didn’t have a daddy at home, and was terrified of her family divorcing) that L’s father was (i) yes, married to Connie and (ii) “returned to Brazil” after the divorce.

The Honduran love-child subplot now chronicled is retconned crap.

Laurence’s dad was from Brazil, lived in Canada, and abandoned his boy at an age no older than Grade 1, after the divorce. Strong implication that there was zero contact after that. LJ clearly didn’t like that and just up and rewrote “history”. Maybe she didn’t want her gay character to have father-rejection issues, but so what – if that was a problem, she could have picked Brian instead.

This was after some other “jumped the shark” stories (like Farley’s over-wrought demise), but it stands out to me as where I lost ALL respect for the strip’s storyline. Sorry, LJ, you want a Honduran love-child story, make up a new character – what you wrote is what you’re stuck with.

BTW – Garfield, that schtick is owned by Cathy, and is only vaguely amusing there because without it, well, Cathy wouldn’t have anything to do between the logo and the AAack! Come up with your *own* nonfunny stuff, please.
bats :[
May 25th, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

Sad news about Thel Keane. She was a good mom and a good cartoon Mommy, considering there were four rugrats to chase after.

Funny stuff, Wolf Shepherd. Welcome to the Mashup Club!

170. plasma: I read “Pillars of the Earth” years ago, and all I came away with was, if it took a century to build a cathedral, that book seemed to take about a century to read. And that if I don’t like a book, I DON’T have to finish it. Life’s too short…
(I don’t remember the sex, either, Poteet, but if everyone else does…damn, can someone send me a copy with the appropriate pages dogeared?)

173. Dean Booth: ooooh, COLD! (funny, too)

And ROCK ON! The Phoenix mission has landed successfully on Mars! We’re getting the drop on Marvin!
Little Guy
May 25th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

161: No snark here. Very sad.
Islamorada Girl
May 25th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

Sad about Thel Keane. Alzheimer’s is a terrible, terrible disease.

On a lighter note, Dean Booth’s MW mashup is what should really have happened.
Calico
May 25th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

My condolences to the Keane family.

RIP, Thel.
Tofino
May 26th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

Mary’s quote must be Comment Of The Week. It’s unbeatable.
DAS
May 26th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Today we see that he’s also taken on the role of Christianity’s enforcer, popping out of nowhere whenever some weirdo religion is mentioned.

It’s good to know that at least this young, hip minister is open minded about alternative sexualities to the point of being completely nonchalant about having walked in on H&J making sweet, sweet love (in the last panel). Given that the conversation happened before the famous H&J “love making” blocking in the last panel, I can only assume the whole line about “go some place you’ve never been before” is some form of dirty talk for foreplay purposes.
Brick Bradford
May 29th, 2008 at 8:07 am [Reply]

A3G Okay, who else gagged when Margo spoke of any portion of her body being naked?

Crankshaft My God, they let this psycho drive children????

MF Near humor two days in a row? Has Tinsely gotten a ghost writer?

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