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Dennis knows there’s so much wrong with him, inside

Apartment 3-G, 11/27/12

There’s trouble in paradise, if by “paradise” you mean the weird workplace romance between Margo and Evan. Evan thinks that he can be cold to our gal Magee just because he’s used her sexual jealousy to steal away her clients for his aunt’s agency and has thus achieved all his goals. He’s about to learn that Margo only makes time with betas when they provide sexy massages and other benefits, and when they decide to withhold those benefits, Margo decides to withhold their paychecks and/or oxygen.

Spider-Man, 11/27/12

Spider-Man, meanwhile, is undercover in Las Vegas, trying to figure out what crimes Kraven the Hunter is plotting. His patented detective technique has mostly consisted of lurking around Kraven and sulking while Kraven practices his animal act, foils purse-nappers, and does other non-criminal things. It’s not particularly sophisticated! Thus, even though Kraven has introduced two monkey with names that make it so obvious that a third will appear soon that he might as well just call them “Monkey 1″ and “Monkey 3″, we need Peter to thought-balloon this information, because otherwise we readers might worry that he’s failing to pick up on it, as he fails to pick up on most things.

One aspect of Peter being sullen about Kraven’s fantastic life in Las Vegas has been Peter being sullen about Kraven’s success with the ladies. This is kind of ironic because the very first Spider-Man storyline covered on this blog featured Kraven trying and failing to woo the one lady dumb enough to marry Peter Parker! They’re like an ourobouros of loserdom, these two. (Note from the commentary on that old post that I was still trying to grapple with just what Newspaper Spider-Man was all about back in those days.)

Dennis the Menace, 11/27/12

SUSPECT IN CHILD DISMEMBERMENT CASE ‘DEFINITELY GUILTY’ SAY NEIGHBORS

Retired Postal Worker Was A ‘Ticking Time Bomb’

246 responses to “Dennis knows there’s so much wrong with him, inside”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Nancy — Aunt Fritzi’s former (1930s-1960s) boyfriend, Phil Fumble, returns after an absence of 44 years.

    And the town where Nancy, Fritzi and Sluggo live is called “Three Rocks.” (Is this the first time that name has been used in the strip?)

  2. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    FC: So, if PJ just a crybaby, or is Dolly a stone-cold sociopath?

    MT: While riding a-back giant sea-fowl while they swoop and prey is pretty badass, goes it really count as fishing?

    Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if your children are disgusted by your old habits.

  3. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    FC-Dolly is going to make a great negligent mother.

    A3G-Evan works there too and would like to see the agency be a success.

    MW-Looks like Dawn is quietly slipping into stalker mode.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is my medication kicking in or does anyone else notice that Yellow man suit + Blue lady suit = Green painting ?

  5. feralcanadian
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    The only thing that has gone wrong with Mark’s vacation so far has been the nagging seagulls who always seem to invite themselves along… sooooo annoying.

  6. An Ape
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    BTW, Chimps are Apes, not monkeys.

  7. pugfuggly
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G Evan’s playing my favourite game, which is to stroll into someone else’s office, grab their coffee and pace about, while telling them that I’m too busy to talk.

    ASM Lions, tiger and elephants? Flat-top Hitler and his ‘Jeannie’ approve.

  8. Droopy Says
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    I looked at the Spiderbland link, and what sticks out is that Kraven now wears the same costume that he wore before he went to prison . . . and that he’s been in prison before that encounter with the Fwippster. I’m sure that Kraven’s wardrobe has something to do with his prison experience, but I can’t decide if it’s advertising or overcompensation.

  9. nescio
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    DtM: “It was worth it, officer. I think I found out why he was such a menace. And why his friend had such bad fashion sense.”

  10. wossname
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    MT – The seagulls know when Otto heads out to “deeper water” – and especially when the clip art is glued on so his boat’s at a 45° angle – that there will soon be a tasty floating corpse to pick apart.

    A3G – Ladies and gents, I think a betting pool is in order. On what day will Margo figure out that Evan is a mole for Aunt Cathy and stole Skyler away? (Obviously this could be spread over several days, but I’m thinking there will be one glorious moment of shocked realization before the bloodshed starts.) I’m gonna bet 1 Internet on Friday of this week. It may not be quite that soon, but things are moving along fairly briskly here.

    JP – We may have discussed this when we first met Peaches, but Avery makes her dress up like a flight attendant on his private plane when there’s no other passengers? Really? That’s creepier than naming her Peaches.

    DT – No snark – just a lot of looove for the new DT art and plots. Now who’d have predicted a 1920s-style rich guy and chorus girl would move to Chicago in an effort to get away from cosplaying? You can’t make this stuff up! (But Mike Curtis can.)

    AS-M – Somebody posted a theory on Seattle PI that I think is worth repeating here (and I’d give credit, but the poster is anonymous): The third chimp has been trained to steal the tiara during Kraven’s act, giving him (Kraven) a perfect alibi.

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#Y264): Bravo! Hurray! Awesome! Huzzah!

  11. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @An Ape (#6):

    If you are a zoologist, perhaps. In common usage it is correct:

    Main Entry:1ape
    Pronunciation:**p
    Function:noun
    Etymology:Middle English, from Old English apa; akin to Old High German affo ape
    Date:before 12th century

    1 a : MONKEY; especially : one of the larger tailless or short-tailed Old World forms b : any of two families (Pongidae and Hylobatidae) of large tailless semierect primates (as the chimpanzee, gorilla, orangutan, or gibbon) — called also anthropoid, anthropoid ape

    M-W 11th Collegiate Dict.

  12. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#10): The third chimp has been trained to steal the tiara during Kraven’s act, giving him (Kraven) a perfect alibi.

    Well, of course. It’s Checkov’s Missing Monkey.

  13. Santa Royale With Cheese
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    DtM: Appearing tomorrow: “Mister Wilson the Menace”.

    JP: And exactly how many times did Avery have, I mean, get his way with you, Sam?

  14. Dono
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    “Lions! Tigers! Elephants! What animals are LEFT for Kraven to work into his act?!”

    Hmmm. I can’t think of any either.

  15. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    MW: Hey, Jimbo, who’s the crazy obsessive stalker now, huh?

    MT: “Decided to go with me”? Isn’t Mark the hostage here? Do kidnapping victims traditionally have the power to say, “No thanks”? If so, then perhaps Mark should have exercised that power back when he first met Otto.

  16. Dood
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: I say kudos to Mr. Wilson for fixing that appliance. You just can’t find monogrammed toasters like that anymore.

    Apartment 3-G: “Stop acting like you own this agency!” Does Margo project much?

  17. Alter Ego
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    love is… watching her through a one-way mirror.

    (According to Wikipedia, “also known as a two-way mirror, additionally known as a three-way mirror.”)

  18. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Anybody know what happened to the webcomic Abstruse Goose? The author mysteriously stopped updating it several weeks ago.

  19. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#10): I posted that monkey/tiara theory on CC back when Peter was first watching Kraven rehearse and boring us with his musings about monkey numbers, which I think was a couple of weeks ago. But I said then and will say now that I’m sure others came up with that theory ahead of me.

  20. Dood
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: “I know he has three of them!” Uhm, three of what, Peter?

  21. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Crank: Sure. That will work!

    FW: “Cancelled, terminated, gone, toast”…….too bad we can’t use those words for the whole Funkyverse!!

    Luann: Setting ourselves up for a big fall, are we? Bernice looks pissed.

    RMMD: Is that Dr. Evil sitting there in Panel 3?

  22. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Close to Home: …and his red Swingline stapler has gone missing.

  23. Dood
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: “Let’s get outta here! Pluggers are boring!”

  24. Greg
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Spidey: As a grand finale, the third chimp will appear hanging from Kraven’s “vine” if you know what I mean.

    Only Parker will continue to stare, in the effort to crack the case.

  25. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#10): We may have discussed this when we first met Peaches, but Avery makes her dress up like a flight attendant on his private plane when there’s no other passengers? Really? That’s creepier than naming her Peaches.

    “Peaches” is just her nickname. It’s short for “Persian Plum Blackstone.”

    @Alter Ego (#17): Having a three-way with a mirror is just sick.

  26. Marc
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    9CL- I’m sure it’s perfectly normal for two people who are engaged to dress like it’s the 1930′s, and meet in random places throughout the day to makeout.

    A3G- I hope Evan hasn’t gotten too attached to his head because he’s about to be permanently separated from it.

    Mark Trail- Well, Mark is truly screwed now. He didn’t bring Andy along in the boat with him to go fishing. Now who is going to jimp at Otto and cause him to drop his gun when he turns on Mark? The only hope for our avid environmentalist is if he has the same power to command bonefish that he does Grizzly Bears.

    Mary Worth- If she wasn’t so goddam creepy, I might admire Dawn’s persistance to set things right. She’s going to send Jim texts and call him from as many different phones as possible. A decent effort, but the only sure way to get Jim to answer is to find Merry’s old phone and call him from it.

    Funky- Look on the brightside Crazy Harry, without a job you’ll be able to spend more time with your house eating hoard of comic books and moping around Montoni’s. And now you can qualify to compete for the crown of Westview’s biggest loser. You’ll be facing some stiff competition though from the likes of Funky, Les, Comic Book Pedophile Guy, Owen the Idiot, his nameless dweeb of a friend, and Strawman Becky’s mom among others. Really just living in the town is an automatic qualifier for the tournament.

    Luann- He’s not coming to visit over the summer and you know it Luann. Where’s he going to stay? Certainly not at your house. Your mom flipped shit when her grown son considered living with his girlfriend while his house was being repaired and made him move back home.

    Luann2- This really just reeks of a giant F U from Evans to everyone for calling him out on yet another half-assed deportation solution. So for questioning his work, he’s going restart this shit and drag it on as long as possible.

    Snuffy- This is the part where Parson Tuttle picks everyone’s pocket.

  27. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MW — I think it would be great if Dawn’s ex started feverishly texting and calling her because now he wants to be HER friend.

  28. bunivasal
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Sassing Margo is definitely not the wisest idea for someone in a canary suit. Margo might forget what incarnation she’s in and just straight up devour you.

  29. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#26): Where is Quill going to stay? Well, aren’t you just a practical-minded buzzkill. Let’s see. Umm — I know! He’ll stay with Gunther, and hijinks will ensue.

  30. Pozzo
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    To save time, “How dare you?” should be printed on Margo’s business cards.

  31. StriderGirl
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @An Ape (#6): ?? If it hasn’t got a tail it’s not a monkey, If it hasn’t got a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape… ??

    /VeggieTales

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    Charlie’s Doggies.

    The Scottish Deerhound won! *kermit arms* YAY! (thanks to any and all who voted on Facebark.)

    corgi luv.

    Ferrety Truth.

    not safe for childhood. (rather naughty, but not obviously nsfw)

    not the Disney Princess that we are looking for. *snurk*

    corgsqui <. . v

  33. Ringo Beaumont III
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    A3G: Evan may not technically own the agency, but his suit matches the curtains, paneling, picture frame AND credenza. So that makes him a majority shareholder right there.

  34. Downpuppy
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#10): I got the impression last May that Peaches put on the stewardess outfit as a goof.

    I’m still betting she’s a lawyer, but this pointless recap scene is Mary Worthy.

  35. teenchy
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    DtM: I do appreciate the use of the Toastmaster logo, which has become the universal symbol for toaster.

  36. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Props for using the word ourobouros! I was going to use it just the other day to describe Mark Trail’s recycling of plots and characters, but didn’t for some reason. Anyway, there is an excellent comic book named Ouroboros, which I highly recommend for anyone who’s interested.

    I gotta get a life.

  37. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Mutt & Jeff: A hot dog bun is a loaf? 1 Lb hot dogs? — I have a package of hot dogs in my refrigerator. 12 oz, 3/4 of a pound. I don’t think I could eat the whole package and a loaf of bread at a sitting. Well, maybe, but I’d probably get sick. Ok, nevermind. M&J could give Takeru Kobayashi or Joey Chestnut some respectable competition, it seems.

    Anyone care to put a date on this one?

  38. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    DtM: Yup, those rows of children’s teeth and intestines Mr. Wilson laid out on his workbench are paying for themselves.

    MT: If Otto is a Manitou who can turn into a seagull, Mark might just be a little out of his depth.

    FW: If you doubt that Peewee Herman hit rock bottom after that movie theatre incident in Florida, he apparently got his picture taken at Montoni’s at some point.

    9CL: Any resemblance between Edda and an uncircumcised penis is unintentional but probably appropriate.

    BSt: Chap must be a Jules Feiffer Jules Feiffer fan.

    JP: Yeah, to Avery, a woman wanting to bean him with a hammer is just stage one of negotiations.

    GA: Gotta say, “self rising rocket éclairs” sounds like an adult novelty. If that’s the idea this bespectacled kid might actually be a genius.

    DT: Uh-oh, our costumed lovers have attracted unwanted attention. And when they mistakenly think that he himself is cosplaying the Penguin, that’ll only make him madder.

    GT: “Do you want it enough to lose a limb, because for me that’s the litmus test of whether you came to play.”

    Phantom: “Now to let that Bandar drug do its job. Plus whatever I shot into the lioness.”

    FC: “Mommy, PJ needs some of the empathy that you and Daddy have managed to breed out of us older kids.”

    Luann: If Bernice thinks there’s any chance of these two not being an annoying item, she’s more optimistic than I would have guessed.

    SFx: Oh Mr. Weber, are you really going to make us count all the used condoms and hypodermic needles missing from one picture to the other?

  39. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    MT – Last night I watched the movie “Savages” on pay per view and all I have to say today is… Shoot Mark in the knees, Otto! Hell, SHOOT BOTH HIS KNEES!

  40. TheDiva
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    A3G: Andres Serrano’s Piss Evan

    SM: Is Jameson clapping or signaling for a time-out?

  41. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    MT – “…we’ll go out a few miles, the fishing is better out there, plus it’s a great place for you to sleep with the fishes, Mark!
    Mark: “Oh boy! Wait till Rusty hears that I got to sleep with the fishes!”

  42. Horace Broon
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y239):
    Yeah, Doctor in the House started as a series of books that then got adapted for film, and eventually turned into a sitcom. And yes, if you shuffled the films together with Carry On Doctor, Nurse and Matron, you’d be hard pushed to tell the difference…

  43. TheDiva
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    9CL: It’s kind of funny if you imagine the hats are a metaphor for STDs.

    FW: Break out the Roget’s, it must be serious!

    Luann: How about “Lull,” which is what happens to the plot every time you two are involved?

    MW: This may be the first time in history where the crazy suitor needs to file the restraining order.

    Pibgorn: Beefwit editor wouldn’t let you draw in nipples again, huh Brooke?

    Pluggers: If I never knew “fuzzy sticks” was a thing, though, does that negate Pluggerdom? I hope so.

  44. Droopy Says
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#19): I posted sonething about Kraven using trained chimps to steal the tiara, too. Now I wonder if that’s right. It makes sense and this is Newspaper Spiderman. It’s more likely that Kraven and Jameson’s showgirls are part of a girl gang that’s plotting to steal the tiara, and will shift goals when they decide to recruit MJ into their ranks.

  45. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @StriderGirl (#31):

    The monkeys have no tails in Pago Pago:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjVQd6O6VvE

  46. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    MT – “Well, Mark, all I can say is good luck! And, oh yeah, you should also heed this warning… BEWARE THE BLACK HEADED GULL in panel three!”

  47. Weaselboy
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#30): COTW nominee

  48. Marzipan
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    I had to look up “ourobouros”. I did not care for that one bit. I don’t appreciate you making me feel dumb, Josh, during the ONE ACTIVITY during which I feel smart and superior (namely, reading Spider-Man).

    Evan is pretty sassy for someone who appears to have coordinated his outfit so as to best blend in with the oddly-colored walls and furniture. Maybe it’s his defense mechanism, he planned for this epic Margo confrontation with all the cunning of a chameleon.

  49. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#40):

    SM: Is Jameson clapping or signaling for a time-out?

    We’ll know if we see Peter sitting in the corner tomorrow. (Or is that not the kind of time-out you meant?)

  50. Mibbitmaker
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    A3G, p1: But, Evan, “drama” is what Margo does!

    A3G, p.2:
    “Stop acting like you own this agency!”
    “…Yet!”
    “What?”
    “…nothing….”

    DtM:
    (Wilson traps the boys)
    “Oh, you’re not going ANYWHERE! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!…”

    S-M, p.1: Lions and tigers and elephants. You know who’s really upset about this development? Bears.[/Norm MacDonald/Seth Meyers]

    S-M, p. 2,3: In Spidey’s world, Larry was the “3rd Stooge”, the one constantly replaced by someone else. In other words: Curly, Larry, Moe in the 1st Columbia studios version,
    followed by Curly, Shemp, Moe (the all-Howard version),
    then Curly, Joe, Moe (fun to say),
    then Curly, Curly Joe, Moe (even more fun to say).
    I’d like to think, in some other comic strip’s world, that it’s Curly, Larry, Moe, Shemp, Joe, and Curly Joe — The Six Stooges! Think of the mayhem!

  51. HAnzMFG
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Jeez Peter, maybe the third monkey is part of his act as well? Just hasn’t shown up yet? Don’t you know ANYTHING about performance art!?

  52. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson has gone to great lengths of assholishness to keep Dennis from breaking and entering into his house whenever the mood strikes. Rewiring the toaster to play Perry Como every time it is used – who knew?

  53. Kinghasnoclothes
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Marm–Love the chair. Very retro–uh–like everything in this cartoon.
    Tank–Buzzball.

  54. Ourobouros
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    … nom, nom, nom …

    Mmmmmm … tasty!

  55. zaratustra
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    ASM: I actually hadn’t noticed the connection between the monkey’s names and there being three of them. I accept this as a personal compliment, knowing I have not thought about Amazing Spider-Man one more moment than needed.

  56. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    xkcd: The cool thing is that the “CRC” in CRC Handbook stands for Chemical Rubber Company! The Chemical Rubber Company used to sell rubber aprons to laboratories. The handbooks were originally promotional advertizing give-aways.

    // I love my CRC Standard Math Tables, 19th Ed., Selby.

  57. Alice
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Luann: Bernice, in her triumphant(?) return to weekday strips, proves herself every bit as joyless, and unsupportive as a friend, as she’s been on Sundays. Granted, we all know “Quiann” or “Luill” isn’t going to advance any further than “Gunthosa” or “Rosunther,” and perhaps Luann’s friends know it too. But at least Delta is trying to show interest and enthusiasm on her behalf, because that’s, y’know, what friends do.

  58. Stroker Ace
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    DtM – ‘George’ Wilson’s birth certificate reads John Wayne Gacy Wilson.

  59. Horace Broon
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    JP Let no-one say Sam doesn’t think fast. Most comic strip characters would have had an ellipsis and possibly an “uh” between “big” and “heart”. Sam just goes on as if that was exactly what he was going to say from the beginning.

    HtH: Probably because the breed won’t exist for another 500 years. I suppose Lucky Eddie could mean dogs that actually belong to Bernard of Menthon, who’d be roughly contemporary.

  60. Uncle Lumpy
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Alice (#57):

    Don’t friends also call you on your shit? Man, I gotta get me some new friends.

  61. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Margo: Stop acting like you own this agency!

    Evan: Start acting like you own this agency!

    Margo: I do! I … Are we doing weddings or party planning? Advertising? PR? Art gallery? I have an urge to be a barge captain lately, is that it? C’mon, give me a hint!

  62. pugfuggly
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#49):

    “TIME OUT! We need to huddle and see if we can name any other animals.”

  63. Alice
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#60): Yes, friends do that, athough more discerning friends know only to do that when they have reason to believe their friend will listen. Otherwise, they continue to support their friend and wait for them to discover their mistakes for themselves.

    But Bernice isn’t so much calling Luann on anything as she’s just making surly passive-aggressive remarks, as she’s been doing nothing but, for the last few years at least. It’s as I said here recently: what happened to the Bernice who was a full-fledged character (or as full-fledged as they get in this comic) with arcs of her own and who expressed a wider range of things than just, “Luann, I’m your ‘best friend,’ but you suck”?

  64. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#44): The monkey is stealing the tiara right now. Yeah, while the “superhero” hangs out and watches a dog & pony show.

  65. Austria
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    BB: Hoagies are from the Philly area and are a little smaller than “submarines.” (Protip, Sarge, it’s “sub” now.) New Yorkers call it a “hero” and “grinder” is from New England. You’re welcome.

    DtM: Running away isn’t very menacing. If Dennis REALLY wanted to be menacing, he’d take Mr. Wilson apart to see what’s wrong with him.

    H&L: OH MY GOSH WE’VE FOUND A WOMAN THAT’S EVEN MORE UPTIGHT THAN LOIS

    Luann: Quillann. Or at least that’s what the ship name would be called if anyone actually shipped it.

    MW: Soooooo does that mean this plotline will conclude with the two of them driving off a cliff together?

    RMMD: Oh man. This lady stomps all over Dead Lisa.

  66. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    I’m not sure what is an “ourobouros”, Josh. An Ouroboros (capitalized) is the snake eating its own tail thing. It symbolizes reflexivity or something.

  67. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#64): There’s a dog, and a pony too? With the tigers and lions and elephants? I gotta see this show!

    // Explain to me again why Kraven, with a first tier casino act, is stealing tiaras. Headliners in Vegas make money by the truckload.

  68. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Don’t you know ANYTHING about performance art!?

    My gods, you’ve hit upon it! All this stuff about mystery primates and rare tiaras are just so many red herrings! In fact, Kraven’s animal act itself is a red herring, and midway through, his act will suddenly turn into an avant garde multimedia experience leaving the audience feeling bewildered and slightly cheated — but the tickets are nonrefundable! THE FIEND!

  69. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    Ah, how naive was 2005 Josh? He would soon learn what we all now know…there never was, isn’t, and almost certainly never will be anything remotely resembling ass-kicking in Newspaper Spidey.

    I’m just waiting for Kraven to throw Spidey a curveball by introducing another set of three chimps known as Shemp, Joe, and Curly Joe. HILARITY SHALL ENSUE. Or not. Hilarity is another thing that never happens in Newspaper Spidey, unless it’s of the unintentional/ironic variety.

  70. AhClem
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    ASM – The third chimp has finally had enough of this lame strip and has defected to Reply All, which he finds to be much more intellectually stimulating.

  71. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Wow, if I were Luann, I’d certainly be sky-high right now. Woo-wee! A boy likes me! No, Bernice, don’t remind me that it’s the same guy who went out of his way to not-like me for a year when he lived in this town, and then he abruptly leave and avoid all communication. Don’t mention that after a six month absence, he decided to Skype me one day and mention that he might visit “next summer”. And, Bernice, don’t be such a buzzkill to realize for me that this is the full extent of which I base my newfound ecstasy and irrational exuberance! We’re going to be an “item”! Yeah! And by “item”, I mean me, running around telling everyone that I’m in a relationship!

  72. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @teenchy (#35) said: “DtM: I do appreciate the use of the Toastmaster logo, which has become the universal symbol for toaster.”

    I have a Toastmaster that my parents received as a wedding gift in 1939. It still works. They don’t make ‘em like that any more…

    Did I just say that? Gah, I’m sliding further into Pluggerhood. (Excuse me a minute while I replace the worn out handle on my La-Z-Boy.)

  73. S. Stout
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Alice (#57):

    When was the last time Luann ever showed any interest in what Bernice was doing with her life? Bernice exists only to hear about Luann’s triumphs and failures, and I’m glad she finally appears to be getting tired of it. Luann is basically the worst friend ever.

  74. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#65): Wikipedia lists 22 separate names for long, large sandwiches (the main article is “submarine sandwich”). I think they are missing a few, tho. We had a discussion here a while back about a Indiana specialty called a guinea grinder, which isn’t listed, nor is Chicago’s Italian Beef.

  75. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67): JJJ noted that Kraven used lions, tigers and an elephant, then wondered aloud what other animals could possibly be used in an act. Let’s just hope that his insight in the publishing world is slightly better than his knowledge of natural biology.

  76. Dood
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: That’s great that Kraven has name for his biceps, but what does he call the two chimps?

  77. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Alice (#63):

    The last Bernice-centric storyline I remember was the one a few years back that that introduced Ann Eiffel, who was at that point the manager of the bookstore Bernice worked at, and was trying to steal Bernice’s Boyfriend-Who-Was-In-A-Wheelchair-Whose-Name-I-Can’t-Recall.

    He hasn’t been seen or heard from since that storyline ended, after Ann was sent to the Deus Ex Machina branch of the bookstore, in Japan. Much like a Westview escapee, he’s probably much better off, seeing as he left before Luann turned into a total squick-fest.

  78. Johann Sebastian Cock
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    You know, Stan Lee or Whatever Art School Debt Slaves Do The Work Of A Stan Lee In 2012, if you would just have gone with “Moe” and “Larry” as the names of the two chimps, you would have introduced a note of uncertainty as to whether the third chimp was “Curly” or “Shemp” (or even the reviled gorilla Curly Joe.) The feeling of mild discomfort engendered by this unanswered question is called “suspense” by fancy college-educated types, and would be the most exciting thing to happen in a Spiderman comic since the cable went out. (What’s the lead time on a Hurricane Sandy knocked out the cable series of strips? 2-3 years?)

  79. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#72): “They don’t make ‘em like that anymore”

    Right. That’s why you still see so many toasters around from 1939. I once read about a lightbulb still burning after 108 years in some fire house. If all the lightbulbs that were made by that manufacturer lasted as long, they wouldn’t have gone out of business decades ago. Or, maybe they would have, since no one would ever need a new lightbulb.

  80. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#72): Wow! 1939 was the year Toastmaster introduced the hinged crumb tray!

  81. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#77):

    I mean that I couldn’t recall the name of the boyfriend, not the wheelchair. It was named Fatty Lumpkin. Or Asfaloth, one of the two.

  82. Lenoxus
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    DtM: Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Joey to deliver the punchline? Not just because of his established traits, but also the simple fact that he’s the other kid in the scene. As it is, Dennis seems to be coming to this horrifying realization mid-thought. That bothers me somehow.

  83. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    RMMD:
    Oh, so you’re the wife of that guy who saved the lady on the beach? Yeah? Well, can he f*&%ing cure CANCER, ‘cuz that’s what I have! Now get out and let me listen to “The Best of Sinead O’Connor” in peace!

  84. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#66): In defense of Josh, that is an accepted spelling variant.

  85. Alice
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#77): That’s the last Bernice-based storyline I remember too. And yeah, I also forgot the boyfriend’s name, but the Luann Wikipedia article, maintained in excruciating (and I do mean excruciating) detail by the comic’s non-ironic readers, gives it as Zane.

  86. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Peter Parker, Part-Time Janitor:

    “Why does Kraven talk to beautiful women? Where is his third monkey? Why did he lie? We’re not his ‘dear friends’ as he claims! I bet he stuffs the front of his spandex pants, too!”

  87. Chip Whittle
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Wait, if the Westview post office is laying off its only letter carrier, how is Veterans Affairs going to get disability and benefit checks to Wally Winkerb–oh. Right.

  88. I speak Jive
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#43): Re Pluggers – I didn’t know they aren’t still called pipe cleaners. Does that make me a Super Plugger?

    @Austria (#65): Many years ago I saw a “zep” sandwich on a menu. Short for zeppelin. I believe the Italian-American owners were originally from New Jersey.

    Rose is Rose – Oh, please, let this turn into “The Monkey’s Paw.”

  89. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#84): I didn’t mean it like “You spelled it wrong!”, although it came out that way. I meant to ask if the snake eating its own tail is what was meant. I’m unclear on the symbolism.

  90. bats :[
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    FW: Harry was canned? Just before Christmas? Oh, that wacky USPS!

    JP: and as we bid a fond farewell to Avery, Bea, Bubba, all the pot-growers, and Peaches…

  91. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    There’s a semi-obsucre comic “The Least I Could Do”. Could someone explain what is going on with this story arc? Something about anal and Native American penises and an unseen, angry boss-type person.

  92. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Alice (#57) said: “Luann: Bernice, in her triumphant(?) return to weekday strips, proves herself every bit as joyless, and unsupportive as a friend, as she’s been on Sundays. Granted, we all know “Quiann” or “Luill” isn’t going to advance any further than “Gunthosa” or “Rosunther,” and perhaps Luann’s friends know it too. But at least Delta is trying to show interest and enthusiasm on her behalf, because that’s, y’know, what friends do.”

    The reason Bernice is not more supportive of “Quiann” or “Luill” is that the relationship she really wants for Luann is “Luber”. And she has the Astroglide to prove it.

  93. Midtown
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#82): That’s exactly what I thought. Why even have Joey along if Dennis delivers both the set-up and the punchline?
    @Chip Whittle (#87): It’s all direct deposit now. Another nail in the P.O. coffin, courtesy of the US gubmint.

  94. Uncle Lumpy
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#77):

    … Bernice’s Boyfriend-Who-Was-In-A-Wheelchair-Whose-Name-I-Can’t-Recall.

    I believe the name you’re looking for is “Tool.”

    Nah, it was Zane. Apparently the artist gave up on the story because wheelchairs are hard to draw — should’ve gone with the tried and true “only one arm!” gambit. The “deportation” gambit, however, is evergreen.

  95. Ranger
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa…..Whoa. Are you trying to tell me that Avery the troll scored someone hot enough to produce a daughter stacked like that? Then they had the nerve to name her Peaches? He must be the best negotiator on the planet!

  96. Mibbitmaker
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    ReFOOB: ROD!

    DT: Stunts like this make me long for the Blondie/Dagwood comic characters’ party!

    PCity: Don’t feel bad, Winslow — they did that to Wile E.

    JP: Oh, who doesn’t in this strip?!

    Love is… ghost-written (so to speak) by Tom Batiuk.

    MT: “…Far enough from witnesses.” That is one crafty seagull!

    MW:
    PEOPLE DAWN ADMIRES:
    Ike Turner and Oedipus.

    Glibporn: I could mock this, but why deprive Larry Hagman a great afterlife as a J.R.-Major Nelson amalgam?

    RMMD: She’s the Seinfeld bubble boy of cancer patients (outside of Westview, of course). Either that, or she gets the Brando role in Apocalypse Now.

    FC: Wrong finger, Dolly.

    Ziggy: Yes!

  97. Chip Whittle
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Today’s Curtis makes me realize I didn’t even know Herb and Jamaal ran a video game store.

  98. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#83): I think the assumption here is that Rex will eat her cancer (which is how he maintains his eternally youthful, razor-sharp features).

  99. pastordan, is not aware of all internet conventions
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#67):

    Explain to me again why Kraven, with a first tier casino act, is stealing tiaras.

    He needed something else to do when he gave up on making fun of Apt. 3-G.

  100. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    A3G: Stop acting like you own this agency! Just go out there and sell some real estate! … We don’t sell real estate? You’re wearing a Century 21 jacket. I just figured… So, who were these clients that you were trolling?

  101. bats :[
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#91): I like LICD but only remember to read it about once a month. So right now, even having read yesterday’s strip, I have no clue as to what’s happening. Sorry.

  102. hogenmogen
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#96): RMMD: She’s the bald chick from “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”

  103. Mibbitmaker
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    FW seems to be playing negativity for laughs — again like the old days. Note: panel 2 isn’t funny, but panel 3 (imho) is. Meanwhile, 9CL seems to be having a “cute” week this week. Bask in this while it lasts — Smug Les and Thorax are just around the corner…

  104. Chip Whittle
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Midtown (#93):

    It’s all direct deposit now. Another nail in the P.O. coffin, courtesy of the US gubmint.

    Not for Wally Winkerbean! Trust me, Funkyberg is set up so Wally has to twice a month get a letter demanding he appear at the Veteran’s Affairs office in Kabul, where he has to take a number, which he gets only in Bagdad, from which he gets permission to draw a bill of exchange, which he can get only in Constantinople, which he can take to a merchant-banker’s in the Venetian Republic good in florins or ducats or in good times sequins, from which he can get captured and sold into slavery by Barbary Pirates, from which he can be forgotten about until he’s accidentally liberated in the Third Punic War, you know, the one where the earth was supposedly salted so nothing would ever grow there again. And now he’ll be running weeks behind his schedule!

  105. Alfred E. Neuman
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#80) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#72): Wow! 1939 was the year Toastmaster introduced the hinged crumb tray!”

    Appropriately, mine is unhinged.

  106. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#89): Think of Peter Parker as a worm chewing on its own ass. Isn’t that beautiful symbolism?

  107. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#104): Wait a minute! Wasn’t that a Steve Canyon story arc?

  108. This Guy
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#88): Zep sandwiches? Shit, I thought there was NO WAY John Hodgman was not making that up.

  109. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#106): As opposed to Rex Morgan who is an ass chewing on his own worm.

  110. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#105): Ah, your dark family secret is revealed at last! Whoever bought your parents the toaster in 1939 did NOT buy the new improved model with the hinged crumb tray, but cheaped out and got the doubtlessly heavily discounted discontinued model, instead.

    // Now you must make it your mission to track down the cheapskates, and hurl the appliance in their penny-pinching faces!

  111. AhClem
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#90): Who is that man in the third panel of your mashup? It can’t be Sam, because Peaches offered him a quickie and he didn’t run away screaming in terror.

  112. Chip Whittle
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#107):

    Wait a minute! Wasn’t that a Steve Canyon story arc?

    Not so much, since Steve Canyon’s writer wasn’t trying to punish the reader.

  113. annieLurk
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    JP – What exactly does Bubba do during the 6 months when he’s not growing pot? I am still hoping for a Peaches-Bubba hookup.

    A3G – Yesterday, when Evan said “don’t guilt me Margo,” I first read this as “don’t QUILT me.” This excited me because I have been searching for this same shade of yellow since Abby (JP) painted her office after eating her neighbors’ pot brownies.

  114. Fashion Police
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#10):
    Yet she continues to dress like a flight attendant even when he is absent. Frankly, based on the evidence from yesterday’s strip and today’s, one can only conclude that “Pumpkin” might have been a more appropriate name.

  115. Dood
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Those little clouds. Did Dennis do a Marvin out of fear? Mighty menacing, Mr. Wilson.

  116. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @May Poole-Bower (#109): Be careful not to bandy asses with Mr. Scudder. His own is bandy enough.

  117. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#91): You’re sure that isn’t 9CL?

  118. Snarkotix Addict
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Lessee, if Quill and Luann as an item make “Quiann” then Toni and Brad would be “Toad.” Yep, I can go with that!

  119. bbofun
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Josh- Note that in that early ASM, Kraven had also been pardoned for his crimes. Is this his m.o.? “Hmmm- think I’ll concoct an elaborate scheme to steal a diamond tiara. Hey, if I get caught, all I have to do is find some rare plant or something, and I’ll be free as a bird!”

    @Lenoxus (#82): Joey hasn’t spoken in a daily panel for a decade or more. Not sure about Sundays. He’s generally presented as being so dumb that boxes of rocks use him as a comparison. “Boy- that other box of rocks is as dumb as Joey,” they’ll say, and then they laugh and laugh. Have you ever laughed like that?

    FW- Do you mean “fired?” Because that would be a word actual people would use. Or even “forcibly retired.”

    GT- Wait- is that the publicist guy coaching the team? Where’s Gil? Plus, when do we get the story of the one-armed kicker in panel one?

    JP- Ah, Peaches…

  120. Inkwell
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Judging by that shoe on the ground, I’d say Weirdly’s latest scheme blew up himself, Slylock, and an entire park. These children are the sole survivors of the playground apocalypse.

    Hi and Lois: “…and I certainly can’t stop him from stabbing! Whups.”

    Marvin: Why on Earth were 3 identical panels needed for this?

    Between Friends: My first time ever reading this strip and it’s about a 30-something wearing invisible pants to a high school? ‘kay.

  121. Downpuppy
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#119): In Gil, that’s Steve, the 25 year old offensive line coach, whose rehab story was the summer golf arc, including the 19 year old girl who wouldn’t go out with him. Focus!

  122. Snarkotix Addict
    November 27th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    FW – Well, at least you’ve got your health. *snicker*
    Of course not! This is Westview! You’re lucky you still have both arms!

    FC – There’s a disturbing trend of sibling violence in the Keane Kompound lately. I fear PJ won’t make it out of his pullups.

  123. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#20): Testicles.

    @Marc (#26) on Apartment 3-G: Now you know why Margo always keeps a Tupperware SUPER CRISP IT Lettuce Keeper LARGE nearby at all times. The spike keeps the cranium from getting all mushy.

    @pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley (#36): What do you recommend for those who aren’t interested?

  124. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    JP-”Oh by the way dad wants you dead and he always gets what he wants.”

  125. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    MT-I wouldn’t worry about Otto killing Mark. Mark is a writer for a well known nature magazine. I don’t think Otto wants to call down the wrath of the authorities by killing the magazine’s star writer.

  126. Shrug, Savant of Seasons
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    LU ANN: I can’t help thinking this Quill will come back on a “winter” visit line is going to lead a plot development when Quill suddenly returns to surprise her during Australian winter (like, next July) only to find LuAnn, who doesn’t understand about hemispheres, has gone off on a long summer camping trip out of cellphone reach or somesuch, having not expected him until the following January.

    So they never connect; he returns to Oz; hilarity does not much ensue.

    Meanwhile, as far as I know Zane is still in town, but unfortunately just as he was getting serious about Bernice he found out his foreign-made wheelchair had been deported to Hawaii or Spain or Australia or some place, so he doesn’t get around much any more.

    ANEMIC SPIDER-MAN: Moe and Curley are in the ape act; third ape is acting as lookout for them to keep inquisitive little super-heroes from messing with the act. As the old obscure saying has it, “Larries Catch Meddlers.”

  127. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    FW: Is it too much to hope for a 1980s-style post office massacre? Or is that too passe?

  128. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-Don’t worry, Delores, we’ve brought you a sacrifice that you can feed on and devour her soul.

    FW-I told you that we shouldn’t have gotten him that thesaurus.

    Spiderman-I don’t where he is from where you are sitting but from where I’m sitting I’m looking right at him.

    A3G-I will when you start caring about the agency.

  129. 150
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Look closer, Parker. Larry’s right there in the second panel. Bottom left corner. He does the art for Spider-Man now.

  130. seismic-2
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    SM: “What animals are left for Kraven to work into his act?” Please, let it be a herd of hippos that Kraven keeps on a high-fiber diet. Remember, Peter has to clean up the stage after each performance.

  131. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Jim, I’ve burned a message in your lawn describing how I really feel.”

    MW 2-”I’ve killed your pets and have used their organs to spell out how I feel.”

  132. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#58): Now I’m quivering in my boots.

    @hogenmogen (#79): About that light bulb. It’s about as bright as Slim Skinner (Gasoline Alley).

  133. AhClem
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    ReFOOBRod Jon is an insufferable chauvanistic asshole, Chapter 34,879,026. Yes, Lynn, we get it. Not to minimize the emotional damage caused by his betrayal, but it’s been more than five years now. Please move on, and seek professional help if you need it.

  134. Dartpaw86
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Horatio: (Puts on glasses) ‘Looks like Mr. Wilson’s fuse has finally burned out, and decided the kids were toast’ *YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!*

  135. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Pluggers has the strangest looking enema kit I’ve ever seen. Not that I’m an expert on such things.

  136. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#125): “I wouldn’t worry about Otto killing Mark. Mark is a writer for a well known nature magazine.”

    Good point. Any well known nature magazine that can afford a one hundred fifty foot corporate yacht must have some pretty good lawyers. Lawyers so powerful they could easily handle VILLAINOUS SCOUNDRELS like Otto!

  137. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#131): “Jim, I’ve dug up your sister’s corpse, posed it with a life-like effigy of you to depict pornographic Stations of the Cross, posted the pictures to a Facetwit page I created in your name, and commented on the pictures to tell you how I feel.”

  138. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 27th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

  139. Illustrator Steve
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    MT – Little does Otto realize he is about to see the FISTS-O-JUSTICE start swinging! ™ …which will commence as soon as those gigantic gulls start to dive bomb Mark and shit on his neatly combed blue/black hair!

  140. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Dammit, yellow was my favorite color until just now.

  141. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    S-M — I’m generally open-minded about male attire, but I would draw the line at dating someone who constantly wore that cinnamon-colored…thing.

  142. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#141): I’ve been puzzling over that … article of clothing … too. Is it a fur stole/shaw/cape? Mullet extensions? Ponytails from all the redhead’s he’s hunted? What?

  143. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#94): Apparently the artist gave up on the story because wheelchairs are hard to draw…

    When I was a child, I often read books by English authors. I would read about sick people, invalids, being pushed about in Bath chairs. For many years I imagined that this was some sort of bathtub on wheels, which seemed like a really cool idea, though I wondered how practical it was. Very heavy work, pushing someone about in a bathtub vehicle, one would think. But drawing a bathtub would be easier.

    Horace Broon: Do they still call them Bath chairs over there? I suspect that’s a pretty old-fashioned locution.

  144. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#140): Mrs. Sherman, of Sherman’s Lagoon, agrees with you.

    // Who needs Sunday Mark Trail? Did you know that the only visible secondary sexual characteristic of the female great white shark is a string of pearls? True fact.

  145. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#123): Quiet, you, or I shall recommend The Complete Little Lulu upon thy ass.

  146. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @May Poole-Bower (#142): Some interesting, creative, and disturbing theories have been advanced, to which your hunted-redheads theory can now be added. Hahaha! *shudder*

    I’m kind of fixated on hoping that he at least takes it off before he does any serious business in the bathroom.

  147. LurkerMan
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Do you think Spiderman gets this confused at Peek-a-Boo?

    “I know someone’s face was just there…but now there are hands where it was, seemingly covering up the face…whoa, peek-a-boo! My Spidey-sense sure was lame there!”

  148. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146): A guy I know once got crabs from a fur-lined outhouse seat (or so he told his wife), so yeah, I hope he takes it off when he does his bathroom biz.

  149. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @May Poole-Bower (#148): HAR!!

    Holy moly. Suddenly I am reminded of my college roommate’s boyfriend’s roommate, who acquired crabs while exploring the red-light district in Amsterdam (that was the story, anyway) and kindly provided specimens for a few college entomology-class insect collections, including mine. Thanks for the memory! I think.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

  151. Droopy Says
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#64): I hope you’re right about Larry the Chimp stealing the tiara now. I keep thinking there would be an intelligent exoplanation for the theft; the chimp climbs along some convenently-placed ceiling supports, disables the security cameras, and climbs away with the tiara. And Spiderschlub gets blamed because he’s in town and only he could cling to the ceiling, right?

  152. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#151): With Larry the Chimp climbing with both hands, where do you think he carries the tiara? Perhaps half-lodged somewhere?

  153. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”No thanks. I’ve seen the sex you guys have on the field and call it naked tackling.”

    Love Is-Looks like Mr. Love Is has died again.

    Ziggy-”It would be easier for me to produce a play so it would deliberately flop so I can make lots of money than it would be to cook your finances.”

  154. May Poole-Bower
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#151): And then comes Kraven’s coup-dis-grace … Larry sneaks into Peter’s hotel room the underpass where Jameson is making Peter sleep and nailguns the tiara to Peter’s head.

  155. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G-Jim is wearing his yellow suit today so he can blend into the background.

  156. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — I don’t understand the angst. Wouldn’t a few gift certificates work well, with creative wrappings if tradition is important? But I’m probably not qualified to comment, having opted out of holiday shopping years ago.

  157. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#151): @Baka Gaijin (#152): @May Poole-Bower (#154): Okay, who’s going to pony up for that extra gallon of brain bleach, huh?

  158. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#149): It is certainly interesting to imagine the mechanics of that little gift.

  159. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I don’t usually comment on this strip but… “Fuzzy Sticks”? Is that really what they’re calling pipe cleaners now? I mean, when I was a kid I didn’t ever really think of them as tools for cleaning pipes, but just as things called “pipecleaners.” So why change it to something as sad as “fuzzy sticks”?

    //I am not a Plugger! I am not! *stamps feet*

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#152): The same place he keeps his half-seated turkey leg?

    @Liam (#155): Evan and Margo are doing their “Cat and the Canary” cosplay.

  161. Droopy Says
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#152): That’s easy. The fourth chimp, Shemp, will tag along and remind Larry to wear the tiara.

  162. Horace Broon
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#143): Yeah, “bath chair” is pretty old-fashioned. I’m only familiar with it from Agatha Christie novels.

  163. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#160): Ohhhh. That would make sense. The turkey leg can keep the tiara wedged into the, ahem, orifice.

  164. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#163): I’ve heard of family jewels, but that’s ridiculous.

  165. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#158): My specimen was given to me, alive, in a little plastic vial. My roommate also received one, and afterward, she did an amusing crab imitation on a few occasions. And now I’ll try to blur my memory again, except now I’m envisioning Kraven with…sorry sorry sorry.

  166. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#159): One of us. One of us. One of us.

  167. KreatureFeatures
    November 27th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    SM: All this talk of monkeys and a jewel heist remind me of the Monkees episode where Davy, Peter, Mickey and Mike break into a museum and steal a painting. The upcoming Spiderman heist better have at least the same level of zany antics, or there will be hell to pay on this blog.

  168. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    So I’m thinking Larry the Chimp might take this Vegas trip very seriously as his chance to really make it big in show biz. So, yeah, he’s gonna steal the tiara, but he’s gonna wear it as he joins the high-kicking chorus girls who hit the stage after Kraven’s act. What are they gonna do? Cuff him and take him to “zoo?”

  169. Spunde
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    DtM: SUSPECT IN CHILD DISMEMBERMENT CASE ‘DEFINITELY GUILTY’ SAYS SUSPECT

    Retired Postal Worker ‘Ready to Die a Happy Man’

  170. Baka Gaijin
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#164): Ridiculous? No, fabulous!

  171. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    When I first started teaching, a group of first year teachers were sharing a house. I went over to party with them and saw an overturned garbage can with about six empty bottles of A200 strewn around the yard.

    I drank their beer, but avoided the bathroom.

  172. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I read in my local paper this morning that inflatable bouncy houses are responsible for thousands of kids’ injuries every year. I think that’s terrific and that more of these things should be available for kids to play in all over the place.

    I would also be willing to sponsor a field trip for the Keane melonheads to their nearest inflatable bouncy house.

  173. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#165): eeeeewwwwww.

  174. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): Well that’s one way to keep people from using your bathroom. Wish I’d thought of that.

  175. lynn
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#172): Or the personalized, portable version known as the “inflatable coccyx”. Rammygazoo!

  176. Shrug, Cutting to the Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171):

    “I drank their beer, but avoided the bathroom.”

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days? The ones that you find frequenting the “inflatable bouncy house,” I mean?

    // Making a note of latest hep slang…

  177. Alison
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Celebrity-smush names aren’t really a thing anymore. It was a short-lived fad (thank God). The only one you really hear anymore is “Brangelina” which seems to have stuck, probably because they’re the only smush-name couple that haven’t broken up yet (goodbye TomKat and Bennifer).

    But if Luann still insists she and Quill must have a couple name, I think “Those two idiots” will do just fine.

    Bernice is a lousy friend but Luann is a lousy friend too so it all evens out. Really, none of these people ever talk about anything but themselves, so what does it matter who they pick to hang out with? It would be easy for me to find “friends” too if I didn’t care about whether we had anything in common. Anybody could find “friends” like that.

  178. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Cutting to the Chaze (#176):

    Yep, them young’uns love them bouncy houses.

  179. bats :[
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#166): three of us. three of us.

  180. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#177):

    Really, none of these people ever talk about anything but themselves, so what does it matter who they pick to hang out with?

    That seems to be the pattern. Tiffany’s “best friend” is Crystal, who is sort of a half-assed goth chick and who clearly doesn’t like Tiffany. The cutesy pairing of “Tiffany” and “Crystal” is the only apparent reason for them to spend time together.

  181. KreatureFeatures
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    In Josh’s link to his old Spiderman post, he describes the action as “a little aimless web slinging.” Some things never change.

  182. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 27th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @Lenoxus (#82):

    As it is, Dennis seems to be coming to this horrifying realization mid-thought. That bothers me somehow.

    It’s probably the unnatural pairing of “Dennis” and “thought.”

  183. seismic-2
    November 27th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#172): Lawn darts. Just toss them in the air randomly – when they come down, it would be almost impossible to miss a Keane Kid’s Kolossal Kranium.

  184. Alison
    November 27th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#180):
    Oh! All this time and yet I JUST GOT the cutesy-poo link between the names “Tiffany” and “Crystal”. Ugh, that is so precious. Is Tiffany’s last name Lamp? And hopefully Crystal’s is Goblet.

  185. Peanut Gallery
    November 27th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#105): It’s not a pretty sight when your toaster comes unhinged.

  186. Peanut Gallery
    November 27th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Josh on Spider-Man – I think they’re more like an amphisbaena of loserdom. [*]

  187. Peanut Gallery
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#172):

    inflatable bouncy houses are responsible for thousands of kids’ injuries every year

    They’re also chock-full of lead.

  188. Peanut Gallery
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#184):

    Is Tiffany’s last name Lamp? And hopefully Crystal’s is Goblet.

    Or Meth.

  189. Shrug, Nibbling Away at Nomenclature
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#184):

    I don’t know what Tiffany’s real last name is, but I recall her forme rMiss Chamber of Commerce nom-de-plume of “Sheraton St. Louis,” so by analogy I’d think goth Crystal might also go by “Flophouse de Skidrow.”

  190. Control
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Good god, man! You’re still in the the field! Maintain cover! If you go in as a loathsome arse-creeper, don’t suddenly turn into petulant shit-bag just because you’ve stolen exactly one client so far. KEEP CREEPING ARSES!

  191. odinthor
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#184):

    The daughter of William Lear (of Lear Jet fame) is Crystal Shanda Lear (though the “Crystal” part is disputed). Had it been a boy, it would have been Gondo Lear.

    It might help explain this if you know that the father-in-law of William Lear was Ole Olsen of Olsen & Johnson fame, who proposed the names.

    Shanda Lear’s brother John is a noted “UFO”-logist and conspiracy theorist. He also invented the 8-track stereo.

    Interesting family!

  192. Spotts1701
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    FW: Can we please get on with the demonstration the Batiuk hasn’t got the foggiest idea what he’s talking about with regard to the Postal Service? I mean, my arms are getting tired holding up all the logic and reality bombs I want to unload on him.

  193. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#183):

    Lawn darts remind me of a time when I and few friends started to play a legitimate game that rapidly descended into us throwing the darts at each other.

    I wound up with one of those large darts stuck in my sternum. Instead of earning sympathy, I saw my friends in fits of laughter on the ground. Actually, I soon followed. Once I pulled the damned dart out of my chest.

  194. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    November 27th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Spotts1701 (#192):

    FW would be more believable if it were Les getting laid off or fired instead!

  195. The Ridger
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#159): craftprojectideas.com says: “Fuzzy Sticks, like pipe cleaners, are bendable, flexible and fuzzy.” So, they’re not the same. Fuzzy Sticks is a brand-name craft thing; they look thicker than pipe cleaners.

  196. Uncle Lumpy
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Pluggers was worried about a cease-and-desist order from Pipe Cleaners®. Or it’s contracted Herb ‘n’ Jamaal disease.

  197. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Ripley’s — Thanks to Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol [next thread], we now know the name of the quilt that Ohio’s John Lefelhocz meticulously crafted out of bicycle chains:

    “Ms. Ing Links” (an appellation cleverer by far than Luann’s “Tiffany” and Crystal”!)

  198. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): I will probably regret this, but what the heck is A200, and what does it have to do with bathrooms?

  199. Liam
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    Luann-”Do you think she is going to be as insufferable as that Middle school student down the street? You know the one with the repressed mother and the psychotic father.”

  200. Uncle Lumpy
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198):

    Hogil Pharmaceutical Corp. A200 family of lice treatment products.

  201. Poteet
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#177): “Those two idiots” works for me. And Gunther can be known as “Oh god, it’s him.”

  202. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#200): Ah! Thanks. The scales have fallen from my eyes!

    // I suppose that is something every parent, or elementary school teacher, would know.

    // Do they make anything for scaly eyes?

  203. This Guy
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#177): Come to think of it, not only do the characters only talk about themselves, they don’t really talk about themselves to each other–rather, they talk near each other.

  204. Mustang
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    A3G- THIS AGENCY! THIS AGENCY! Go Margo! It’s your birthday! Go Margo! Go Margo! There will be carnage. There will be weird color choices. And strange dimensions. And bad Continuity. Buuut… GO MARGO! GO!

  205. tallyHO
    November 27th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#196):

    (Today, i’m woefully behind on commenting on anything…or…I’m ahead of the game and am planning on ripping up comics tomorrow. Take your pick.)

    I see that Marca Registrada up there, Unc. I’ve tried pulling that out of thin air and using it but somehow it doesn’t take.

    With TM in superscript, I know how to do that. But, I think even if I tried to use that symbol (like this–> ® ) here it would show up as a question mark on everyone else’s computers.

    So, how does it work? If you don’t mind sharing?

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#171): Were they annoyed by your periodic breaks from beer drinking to go and pee on their lawn?

  207. tallyHO
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    BTW, Evan Goldsuit as the Golden Fleecer?
    Gildo Gadfly? Glido Ratfink? Waitasec…a gildo? Best leave that out of the hands of gadflies.

    Who died and made Evan King? Was it Aunt Cathy, a.k.a. Talent Tycoon, a.k.a. Catherine Cougar, a.k.a. …..Anaconda Kickin’ Aunty….whew…

    It might be a good thing I didn’t get a chance to comment earlier. That’s all I got.

  208. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#205): As Uncle may be busy here’s a handy table of common HTML codes.

    Short answer: Type the ampersand symbol, “reg”, semicolon. Thus ®.

  209. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#195): That’s good to know.

    //So Pluggers is just being stupid, then.

  210. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

  211. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#206):

    Nope…just told ‘em I was looking for a crab-free zone.

  212. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198):

    A200 was the most common OTR remedy for crab lice, back in the day.

  213. Chaze
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    I see the picture of Pee Wee Herman on the back wall of Montoni’s. Clearly, he visited after his arrest when he was severely depressed. Westview just seemed like the place to go.

  214. The Ridger
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#209): You’re a plugger if you think two similar things must be the same thing.

  215. The Ridger
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#214): … also, if you think “they” are always changing things to make you feel old and pluggerish.

  216. tallyHO
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#208):

    Thanks, Mistopher!

    The use of those extra symbols will either increase the comedy by several percentage points or add to the confusion of everything I post.

    What I don’t get is why I can do THIS(tm) easily enough without all that gobbledegook and going through all that rigamarole? I’m just hornswaggled. Perplexed. Beeeeewildered.

    //sorry, I’m drawing a certain kind of character. it carries over.

  217. Peanut Gallery
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#202):

    Do they make anything for scaly eyes?

    Pipe cleaners are supposed to be good for that.

    (But whatever you do, don’t try to use Fuzzy Sticks instead!)

  218. tallyHO
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#216):

    What Happened? ™

  219. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 27th, 2012 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#143):

    When I was a child, I often read books by English authors. I would read about sick people, invalids, being pushed about in Bath chairs.

    My favorite line in the film version of The Naked Civil Servant is when Quentin Crisp’s father is railing at him about having ambition and asks him what he wants to do with his life, and John Hurt, playing Crisp, blithely replies something like “I think I should like to be an invalid.”

  220. giraffe-o
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    “If you try and take a cat Menace apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat Menace.” – Douglas Adams

  221. Cloudbuster
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    ASM: If you have a chimp so intelligent and well-trained that it can plausibly pull off an unsupervised heist of a famous tiara that is certainly guarded by multiple high and low tech protections … why would you? The chimp himself is priceless and your animal-training skills, which have already earned you a lucrative Vegas headlining gig, are legendary. You’re on your way to fame and fortune. Why risk it on some impossible-to-fence piece of famous jewelry?

  222. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 27th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#166): @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#159): So I was out running errands the other day, and my flannel-lined jeans started to slip down my, erm, tuchus. And I thought, “fuck my life. I am a Plugger.”

    That is all.

  223. Sequitur
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley (#222): A true Plugger wouldn’t have noticed.

  224. Jamus The Bartender
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Hi folks. Saw Luann today. Guess she’s dating Quill now. That’s nice. That means she can brag to all her girlfriends about having a boyfriend without worrying about having icky naughty sex with him. Until he shows up in six months. Then she can date Gunther, who she’ll NEVER sex up.

  225. Rocky Stoneaxe
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198): what the heck is A200, and what does it have to do with bathrooms?

    There’s MST3K, but I dunno what it has to do with bathrooms.

  226. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#223): A true Plugger wouldn’t be familiar with the phrase “fuck my life.”

  227. Sequitur
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#226): I guess we can agree, we’ve all known Pluggers and, pastordan, you’re no Plugger.

  228. pastordan, who meant ROBERT Benchley
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#227): Have you seen the layer of fur that covers me?

    //Don’t answer that question.

  229. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 27th, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Here I am at last. Took the quiz. Probably did mediocre on it. Got my last paper back. No grade, just the notation that I’d already done two. Apparently, we only had to write two out of the three assigned papers. If it’s any consolation, the teacher says she always enjoys reading what I write. And here’s some of what I write:

    3G – It’s so cute. Evan’s trying to have a personality! Isn’t it enough that his suit and tie both match his hair?

    9 – Well, they have to dress in this bizarro anachronistic way in order for the gag to work. Amos has to be wearing a hat. It’s only logical. Tomorrow, there’s laughs a-plenty as Amos gets his spats entangled in an impromptu encounter with a knickerbocker-clad urchin rolling a hoop.

  230. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    3 Rocks – Okay, okay, we get it. Anyway, Nehemiah Scudder can now recalibrate his “___ Days Since Phil Fumble Has Showed Up” timer.

    Phantom – Hmmm. Bandar drugs! (Usually taken by dissolving on the Bandar tongue.) In the jungle, the quiet jungle, the lion hallucinates tonight.

  231. Sgt. Stoned
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark drops his line and begins to mutter “Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…etc.”

    BB: Whatever hoagies, grinders, subs, etc. are, they seem to consist of two pieces of bread with some kind of green goop in the middle. Sort of like something Mary Worth would make.

  232. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    Family – I don’t want to read the caption, lest it take away the delight of seeing Dolly showing a crying PJ “the long one.”

    @Lynn (#y272): I check for Woollcott (thanks for the spelling, Algonquin Fan) at used book stores. Unless I’m really desperate for a book, I usually don’t order it online.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#y284): The “Carry On” set is well chosen, with the early ones pretty thoroughly represented, and they’re more selective with the later ones. I do with the nudist camp one was in there. I don’t think it is, but there’s a clip from it in the documentary disk.

  233. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    Josh – The sad thing about Dennis the Menace is that they’re mis-repeating an old joke. “My dad likes to take things apart to see why they don’t go.” “So?” “So, why don’t you go?”

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#1): They’ve been beating the whole “Three Rocks” thing into the ground lately. Apparently it’s all been part of a re-branding process for the generic suburb the Ritzes occupy.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#37): Anyone care to put a date on this one?
    It must be from before 1949. That’s when they devalued the pound.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#38): I’m a Jules Feiffer fan too. A great moment for me was when Colleen Doran was asked to give a speech in Japan along with Feiffer, and as a favor she took my old copy of The Great Comic Book Heroes along (the first book I read by him, and one which got me interested in Golden Age comics) with a request for an autograph. As it turns out, the book was useful to him on the trip, as it contained visual examples for much of what he talked about, and now I have it signed.

    @Mibbitmaker (#50): Interestingly enough, Shemp was actually the first Stooge hired by Ted Healy, but he got into pictures apart from the group and was replaced by Jerry (Curly) Howard for the movies. I’m not aware of any all-Howard teaming of Stooges, though HOLD THAT LION happens to have one scene with all four canonical stooges in it, and thus all three Howards.

  234. Chip Whittle
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in Real Life Judge Parker, things move less improbably:

    Pot-protecting alligators greet U.S. police probing gunshots

    “This was a fairly atypical event,” [County Sheriff spokesman] Elwin said. “We see brass poles from time to time, but there were alligators.”

  235. Uncle Lumpy
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#218):

    What Happened?™

    I’m guessing that you’re used to Microsoft® Word, where typing “(tm)” autocorrects by default to “™”? But the comment box doesn’t have autocorrect.

    However, if you cut the symbol from Word or another source, it will show up in both the comment box, the preview, and in the posted comment, since “™” is one of the symbols in the WordPress standard alphabet.

    However, if you cut and paste a symbol not contained in the WordPress alphabet (Greek, Hebrew, ®, and many more), it will show up just fine as you type (because your browser must support the symbol, or else you couldn’t see it), and will also show up fine in Preview (because this is WordPress’s little joke, you see!). But it will be stripped out and replaced with “?” before it goes into the comment database.

    So you have to use HTML character entities for oddball characters. Some are named; for example, “&reg;” gives you “®”, and “&pound;” gives you “£”. For those and many, many others, you can also use either the decimal or hexadecimal HTML encodings of Unicode characters. Here’s some Braille, for example: ⠨⠳⠜⡕⠴

    There are quite a few good tables and converters around if you Google things like “HTML entities Unicode converter.”

  236. Sequitur
    November 27th, 2012 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#235): Smartass‿

  237. Uncle Lumpy
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#236):

    It’s a curse&#8255;

    Oops.

  238. tallyHO
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#235):

    I see.

    Well, actually, I am just using my browser to compose. So, the ™ shows up as a parenthetical tm but when I preview/post then it becomes the superscripted ™ everyone loves to hate.

    I guess I just don’t understand why ™ is availble and not © (circle c) or ® (circle r). They sort of go together like Snapple, Pie, weight gain and sugar buzzes.

  239. tallyHO
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#235):

    Bah.

    I should elaborate.

    I intentionally type ( tm ), no spaces.
    That’s how ™ shows up the way it is supposed to; like I wish it to be seen.

    I initially thought the same trick could be used for others and, as you and Mistopher Scuddermeier point out, that ain’t the way to do it.

    It is frustrating that Unicode is so dang handy and so not implemented in the HTML or WordPress kits (?) in a user-friendly, surefire way. Then typing would just be a keyboard shortcut away from ø and é.

    Do those letters show up on the each side of the bold “and”? There should be an O with a slash through it and an accent grave above the letter E?

  240. jnik
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    So Crazy Harry is the USPS’ only non – union worker? Either he’s the victim of cutbacks, in which case he has enough seniority to bump others, or he ws fired with cause.
    And being a civil servant, he’d have to be a murdering pedophile to even be considered for firing, or they found out he’d been dumping everyone’s mail down the sewer all these years. That would explain how he has time to hang around Montoni’s all day.

  241. Uncle Lumpy
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Hm! Then I stand corrected about autocorrect in browsers, although it’s either missing or disabled from my Firefox setup. I don’t understand what makes ™ so special, either.

  242. Sequitur
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @jnik (#240):

    He was fired for spending all his time at Montoni’s (and the comic book store) instead of delivering the mail.

    It only took the USPS 25 years to figure this out.

  243. Sequitur
    November 28th, 2012 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#241): ™ is Mark Trail backwards. The ultimate secret code.

  244. Dale
    November 28th, 2012 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    > Sir, do you know what lions look like?
    > Yes. They are brown and furry with short legs and very long noses.

    They are fishing for TARPON. Small fish. In calm water, they will hit on dry flies.
    Use a small net or just hoist them up on the end of the line.
    You will have to clean a lot of them, but pan-frying is fast and easy.

  245. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 28th, 2012 at 4:17 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#232): I do wi(sh) the nudist camp one was in there. I don’t think it is, but there’s a clip from it in the documentary disk.

    I actually went rogue, and downloaded the nudist “Carry On” from Pirate Bay. Frankly, it kinda sucked. Much as I like looking at naked women, that one was embarrassingly bad. As in, embarrassed to be watching it, embarrassed for the writers and actors, though, worldly sophisticate as I am, not, of course, embarrassed by the bare asses.

  246. KreatureFeatures
    December 26th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    The two ransom-hungry stooges in today’s Mark Trail bear a remarkable resemblance to the apes in Spiderman. Which begs the question, where’s the third ape/henchman? Stealing Senorita Momjeans coconut tiara, I would guess.

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