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Ha ha, kids today, with the caring about stuff

Archie, 11/30/12

We have proved with painstaking historical research that the current run of Archie newspaper comics originated in the early 1990s. Today’s strip offers more evidence of this: it’s set in a time period where this whole “recycling” business was something that eager, green-minded teens had to teach their hidebound parents, who just wanted to throw all their garbage directly into the water supply, in accordance with the traditions of their ancestors. Unfortunately, the strip’s creators from this era did not have access to any young people (something that probably shouldn’t come as a surprise, considering that Archie has always treated teenagers with contempt), so they appear to have reconstructed the recycling process from secondhand reports. It involves having unboxed waist-high piles of neatly folded newspapers on your lawn, right?

Gil Thorp, 11/30/12

I’m pretty sure we’ve never actually seen Terry Gallagher’s dad over the course of this storyline, so I’m kind of intrigued by the fact that Terry’s mom says that he “doesn’t bring her a strategy” when he “messes up.” What kind of “messing up” does he typically perpetrate? Has he been missing for the past few months because of how badly he “messed up”? Not to engage in ugly stereotyping, but isn’t most likely that Mr. Gallagher is drunk in a gutter right now, “messing” himself “up”, with no “strategy” to get back home? Those aren’t footsteps you want to follow in, kid!

203 responses to “Ha ha, kids today, with the caring about stuff”

  1. Mickey McPaddy
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Well, Josh, it’s possible Mr. Gallagher gets a few pounds of semtex and commences an ill-conceived and counter-productive bombing campaign.”

  2. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-”Does he bring me a strategy? No. He just buries those dead hookers and any witnesses in the woods.”

  3. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    GT- Y’know, maybe if your husband did actually put together a strategy to fix what he broke, and to avoid it happening again, then he wouldn’t constantly be messing up? Or is this that old trope of “Women don’t want a solution to the problem, they just want to have someone listen to them complain about it”?

    FW – “I’ll email them instead of sending a letter because it is quicker, more convenient, and more reliable. Ok, wait a sec. Maybe we don’t need that post office after all! Why not take your 1/2 salary pension for life and then go look for a job with UPS?”

  4. fuzzmaster
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    The “evening” newspaper? Afternoon newspapers were already declared near-dead in 1990. I’m pretty sure there’s not even one city left that has both a morning and an afternoon paper, requiring anyone to specify the “evening” newspaper.

  5. Christopher
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “Does he bring me a strategy? No, he just brings me jewelry. Have you thought about that, son? Why not get your friends matching necklaces and earrings? And maybe some nice pink cashmere turtlenecks. I got this the last time your father ‘messed up’.”

  6. pugfuggly
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Archie Is there a Ken Burns documentary that can explain to me when (and why) the US federal government banned paper recycling, driving it underground so that lower-middle class families had to sort their newspapers in the backyard in the dead of night?

    GT I don’t follow Gil’s adventures most of the time, so I have to admit that when it does show up here, I’m often left a little perplexed as to what the plot might be. A mother and son in a mess, a ‘multipronged campaign’, someone named Dane Doyle in a formal suit without a jacket…and all connected to football? Somehow…? You know what, I think the truth would just bore me…

  7. Droopy Says
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    I’m sure that a little more research will find the original version of this Archie strip, with Mr. Andrews complaining about paper drives.

  8. S. Stout
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Archie: AJGLU 3000, humans have difficulty seeing at night and wouldn’t be sorting paper outside at that time. Don’t worry, your mistake can only be attributed to human error.

    Luann: Can’t wait to see how Toni rationalizes Luann going batshit insane in the last panel as a mature act. Of course, Evans won’t be able to think of anything and jump to one of the many other story lines he can’t tie up. T.J.’s been at WW so long he’s built up a nice 401k.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp PLAY-by-PLAY
    Brought to you by Irish Autumn ™, the soap for stereotypical cops.

    PANEL ONE — A young Michael Palin is ready to play!

    PANEL TWO — The mom doubts a strategy. She has no idea how her husband plans how he can explain away the secret affairs or his gambling problem. No strategy? You have no idea, ma’am!

    Or she’s one of those Warner Brothers cartoon characters who pronounce it “stragedy”.

    Either way, it’s a bad fumble for Mrs. Gallager.

    PANEL THREE — This looks like a very bad play, if it’s some kind of Mob plan being worked out here. There’s going to be a penalty if this plays out like I think it will.

    Yes, indeed. Still, there is the Aldo sacking precedent set by Mary Worth going long in her classic Intervention Play.

    That was one for the history books, Mibbit!

  10. Withering Heights
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    FW: Funky ought to fire off a phone call to his electrician, because the lights have been off in the back of the house at Montoni’s for days.

  11. McManx
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorpe — I have this image of Terry’s dad as Victor McLaglen in “The Quiet Man” coming home to Maureen O’hara:
    “Woman o’ th’ house! Me self has come to home!”
    “Oh! And I supposed you come bringing a strategy with yourself, now! O-o-o-o! Wipe your muddy feet!!!”
    “Uhhh, thank y’ mum…”

    Archie — The main tip off to me that this is a 90s strip is that there are actually still daily newspapers at all.

    Ziggy — I guess gangland graffiti in Ziggy’s hood is a little more to the point than in most urban locales.

  12. BethG
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Ah dammit. #4 fuzzmaster beat me on what I was going to say. I bet they still get milk delivered to their doorstep.

  13. Downpuppy
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Terry’s grand redemptive gesture is to set up a barber chair in the gym & shave the moustache off every girl in Milford. A busy laddie he will be.

  14. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#6):

    explain to me when (and why) the US federal government banned paper recycling, driving it underground

    Same justification used for most Federal government activity since the 1930s.

    “Because, Fuck You, that’s why.”

  15. Mickey McPaddy
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Marm: It’s like Goldilocks, if Goldilocks were also the bears. And if the bears were a slavering hell-beast.

    MW: “Jim, it’s me calling you again to tell you that I’m absolutely not interested in a relationship with you. Please call me back so we can make a date for me to tell you in person. Again.”

  16. Hibbleton
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Archie: Originally this strip must have been about the dad having to help Archie sort the sectionals before the break of dawn to get ready for his morning paper route which Arch must have lazily put off till the last minute. “This is supposed to be your job, not mine!” Yeah, still not funny.

    MT: Mark, while his back is turned, hit him with something, knock him out, and end this ridiculous plot line. Or do you really think you can win this fishing contest?

  17. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    9CL: Pibgorn crossover?

    JS: *golf clap*

    Luann: delayed orgasm ftw.

    JUMBLE: “when Mozart was my age, he’d been dead for five years.”

    MG&G: AAAIIIEEEEEEE!

    RwO: *golf clap*

    SFx: next panel, the tire-tracks. also, nice hippo!

  18. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . parkin’ in where the sun don’t shine.

  19. Downpuppy
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Uh Oh! Looks like Mark Trail’s tiny feet are about to be following his giant head into the ocean.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    “it”

    parking IT.

    sheesh.

  21. pugfuggly
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    ASM Jesus Peter, have you just been narrating the whole act up to this point? Check your spider-sense, there may be a a couple bottles flying towards the back of your head.

    A3G “Well, to be fair, I haven’t told her that we’re a couple yet, so I guess that makes us even. Care for a glass of wine, darling?”

    FW Ah Westview: too lazy to send letters, but too backwards to order things over the internet. Sorry Mr Mailman, you never had a chance.

    MT Mark strains and tightens his grip on his rod. Meanwhile, Senor Mustache bends over and reaches for the throttle, steadying their position….hey, you think this fishing competition is a metaphor for something….?

  22. Crankenstank
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    The fact that it’s an “Evening” Paper definitely sets this strip a long, long time ago. So long ago that Pop should just be beating Archie and telling him he has no chance now to drive the Stanley Steamer to the barn dance.

  23. Chareth Cutestory
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    GT: “When your dad messes up, he doesn’t bring me a strategy. He bring the ruckus. And he brings it all night long. Have fun in therapy, son!”

  24. TheSilentG
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Archie: Not to mention the glaring anachronism that is the very notion of an evening edition of a daily newspaper.

  25. pugfuggly
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#14):

    Ah of course, the ‘Fuck You Citizen, Because I CAN!’ Act of 1992, co-sponsored by Senators Cube and Dre, if I recall correctly.

  26. Little Blue Bicycle
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn calls Jim, proving once again that she mistakenly signed up for Psychopathology 101 instead of Psychology. “Professor Bundy said I should call you and discuss your Id.”

  27. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Judging from the height of each of those four stacks of newspapers, apparently the Andrews household subscribes to some 30 or so dailies from various cities across the nation and perhaps the world. Given Archie’s demonstrated command of facts and knowledge of the world around him, I’d say that tremendous financial sacrifice for those newspaper subscription fees could have been better spent, perhaps on furniture for the household. Apparently unable to afford an actual bed, Archie has been reduced to sleeping on the stack of newspapers, which is why he has the crossword puzzle imprinted on his hair.

  28. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#13): “shave the moustache off every girl in Milford.” – is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  29. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FC: See that weird little hat that Dolly wears in winter? That seems to accomplish nothing whatsoever? Yeah, we wore those hats. In the NINETEEN FIFTIES.
    //I have a lovely picture of myself in one.

  30. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Inexplicable Bear Tongue (y#270): @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (y#273): @Nehemiah Scudder (y#275): @Nehemiah Scudder (y#276):

    Granted, psychiatrists have to adjust treatment to patients’ needs. Not having OCD,[*] I’ll refrain from comment on how they would approach it. My experience has been that they push the meds, just like any other M.D., and that’s it.

    Psychologists definitely have to undergo counseling, I would assume psychiatrists as well. It’s partly so they understand it from the inside, and partly so they understand what’s their shit, and what belongs to their patients. And trust me, everybody’s got some shit to work out, yes, even Jughead. In that sense, it isn’t really fair to criticize the professionals for doing it to work out the bugs in their heads – everybody does that, yes, even pastors.[*]

    And now, having said all this, I will turn over further inquiries to my esteemed friend and drug addict Rex Morgan M.D., who has no issues, I’m sure.

  31. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Pickles: Wouldn’t you think it would be Mrs. Pickles who’d be complaining about Mr. Pickles’ droopiness?
    BB: Beetle is empowered to finally express his personal preferences. Good for you, Beetle.

  32. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    For all of you boomers in mudgeonland, Yoko Ono has come out with a new line of menswear. Pictures are marginally SFW (do a GIS to see the other ones). I myself am much too ladylike to direct people to http://www.openingceremony.us/entry.asp?pid=6993. I am far, far too ladylike to imagine one particular Mudgeon in such garb.
    //I promise I will never post anything like this again.

  33. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Archie – As others have noted, there haven’t been evening papers in about 30 years. That said, given that this is “Archie” we’re talking about, I’m impressed that they’re only off by a couple generations.

    Luann – You’re also high on meth?

    PBS – I am fully behind Bennie the Bear’s right to be himself. Or herself. Point is, it’s a great world where bears feel free to challenge the restrictive ursine gender roles.

    JP – They haven’t decided on money yet? Avery is the worst negotiator ever.

    MT – Wow, that kidnapper is really threatening, what with his helping Mark catch a fish and all. Tomorrow: He cleans the fish while Mark starts a fire!

    BB – Sarge was really hoping something else would get longer. Alas.

  34. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    GT: Doesn’t Mrs. Gallagher look rather like a crime boss in Panel 2? “When your Dad messes up, does he bring me a strategy? No, he brings me his hand, so that I can sever a finger as punishment.” We see in Panel 3 that Terry’s screw-up was deemed to be worth half a thumb.

  35. Greg
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Archie: In the second panel, Archie is looking down at his dad’s junk. Shouldn’t they be more concerned about recycling that? At least get a deposit??

  36. Perky Bird
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#29): I’m not convinced that is some sort of hat on Dolly’s head. Judging by its pinkness and floppy, circular shape, I’m guessing one of the little rapscallions on the bus has bedecked her head with a slice of bologna from his lunchbox.

  37. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#16):

    I think you’re absolutely right about Archie. They’re clearly putting the Sunday paper together. I had a paper route when I was 14 (I’ve blocked most of it from my memory, thankfully), back before paper routes were done by people with cars. I’m trying to think of what kind of joke they could put together about that, and failing.

  38. Marc
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    9CL- Acid is a hell of a drug.

    A3G- Margo doesn’t do couples. She’s more of the ‘bang then eat your mate’ type.

    Mark Trail- Gulls only go out to sea to die or following fishing boats for food. So either the seagulls in the southern part of the Caribbean Sea are ultra smart and are just biding their time knowing that they’ll have a Trail carcus to pick at soon or Otto took Mark fishing to a seagull graveyard.

    Mary Worth- “You’re giving me the ‘it’s not you it’s me’ routine? I invented ‘it’s not you it’s me.’ So nobody tells me it’s not me it’s them. If it’s anybody, it’s me!”

    Funky- World according to Tom Batiuk: Nothing changes the mind of the federal government faster than one strongly worded email from an alcoholic owner of a failing small town pizza franchise.

    Luann- Do on duty firemen really just hang around the station all day wearing their full dress get up? Something tells me they don’t. I’ve seen t-shirts and sometimes short sleeved collared shirts, but I’ve never seen them waiting around for a call wearing what is essentially a suit.

    Family Cirucs- Why is Dolly wearing a maxi pad on her head?

    Cranky- Tomorrow’s strip will feature Crankshaft driving through the front of Keesterman’s house because he had a bigger Christmas tree.

  39. Doctor Handsome
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    It’s kind of a dick move to ask someone their plan and then belittle them for having one. “Strategies are for fags, you dumb kid!”

  40. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#36): No really, they were hats and they had wire in them to shape them to your head. It wasn’t something you’d wear to school on a cold winter day. It was to wear to church so that the Lord God would not be offended by the sight of your pasty female scalp (whereas God evidently likes male scalps, since the men and boys had to take their hats off). I had a similar hat for actual winter wear, but it was fuzzy knit, came over my ears, and tied under my chin with two crochet strings.

  41. Anders Gabrielsson
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    GT:
    Doyle:What… what do you mean, “It’s handled”? I’ve been working my ass off for this! I’ve been up all night strategizing and campaign-planning and looking up synonyms for “complicated”, and now you’re all “kthanxbai”! Ass!
    Terry: Yeah, turns out my mom doesn’t want a strategy.
    Doyle: Your mom?! What the hell, man! You brought your mom into this? This was our thing!
    Terry: Uh, sorry about that…
    Doyle: Hey, forget it. Just… just prong you, man. Multi-prong you and your mom!

  42. Doctor Handsome
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Archie making a recycling joke is recursion.

  43. Austria
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Why is there a pink insole on Dolly’s head?

  44. bats :[
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    I rarely read KXCD, but I did today, and today’s strip should be stapled to Batiuiuik’s eyelids. Really!

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    another distinguished Scottish Deerhound.

    hammock for bb,u, with extra filling.

    for True Fable.

    Now We Know.

    I .gif you Fluttershy caramelldansen.. yay.
    (even Sequitur will be smiling at this. trust me.)

    otterpup as “Not Me”.

    corgibutt.

  46. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh Dawn, why do I not believe you? Why do I suspect that the nuttiest amputee this side of Romeo Is Bleeding will have to take out a restraining order on you?

    C-Shaft: “He refers to it as a ‘missile’ gap and keeps calling Mr. Raines ‘Nikita.’ Do we still have those brochures handy?”

    Agnes: Is Hugh Laurie available for limp coaching?

    JP: “If you say so” accompanied by a smirk is universal code for “Go ahead and have your judge friend scrawl his little ego trip in ballpoint. We’ll get a professional to do the real work.”

    RMMD: Ooh, classic Jean-Luc Picard facepalm!

    BB: Wow. I’m trying not to read anything sexual into “I don’t do noses,” but it’s not working.

    DT: Honeymoon clearly believes in being prepared, since she seems to have a replacement head ready in her bedroom.

    Blondie: I wouldn’t worry about the loss of appetite part. If the drug makes Dagwood’s heart stop for ten minutes, he’ll get up to make himself a sandwich five minutes in.

    PBS: Gotta hand it to Pastis. I can’t think of another transgender character in syndicated comic strips. Much less an ursine one.

    DtM: While Dennis proves to be a true pizza classicist, size seems a more immediate concern than veggies or their lack. That looks like a one person pie.

    S-M: Kraven’s note to self: New chick into doing things with me and chimps. Ask about four-way later on.

    OBH: Story lady is lucky she’s not in Marvin, where a question about the meaning of “diary” would be answered with a description of something liquid-y and green-brown.

    Marvin: Nope, no stereotyping here.

    A3G: Kudos on keeping a straight face on that last line, Ari.

  47. Dale
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#16):

    MARK TRAIL can’t escape now. He brought Andy into captivity for no good reason. Mark would have to go back and get Andy.

    Also, where would he go? The Big Island – probably where Otto actually lives.

  48. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “I have a dad? Mam, how long have you been keeping this from me?”

  49. TheDiva
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Archie: The only time I’ve ever seen evening editions of the paper is when something world-shattering happens (a presidential election, a major earthquake, the Broncos winning the Super Bowl). I wonder what kind of apocalyptic disaster Archie is trying to conceal from his dad.

  50. Francisco Arrowroot
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Judging from that first panel, Terry’s mom is bound to reject any plan that doesn’t involve making out with her son.

  51. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#49): Sometimes I don’t have time to read my morning paper until evening. Does that make it an evening paper?

  52. bats :[
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    MW: I know there are a lot of naysayers out there, but I really really think this is all going to work out!

  53. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#38):

    Family Cirucs- Why is Dolly wearing a maxi pad on her head?

    There’s really no good answer to that question.

  54. Anonymous
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#53): Too small for a tampon?

  55. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#54): They may be inserted in her ears.

  56. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Luann – This is what the characters are reduced to. Luann is dancing a jig because she has a non-exclusive, vague committment to a long-distance relationship with someone on the other side of the world. And Toni is hanging breathlessly on every word of the steamy details: “When you kissed your laptop screen, was it warm?”.

    Next week – Gunther almost, sort-of, kind-of gets the nerve up to hold his girlfriend’s hand!

  57. TheDiva
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    9CL: At least they’re not exchanging accessories anymore.

    A3G: “Margo’s dating style is more…well, are you familiar with the praying mantis?”

    C’shaft: The spirit of the season, right here!

    FW: Good to see Batiuk is up on the “everything’s changing and I don’t like it” outrage of the 1990s.

    Lio: This is as good a reason as any for why intelligent extraterrestrials don’t bother with us.

    MW: Jim, on the other end: “Finally!”

    Pluggers lurch from one unfulfilling, dead-end job to another.

    SM: “Could you help me delouse my headdress now?”

  58. Illustrator Steve
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    MT – If you happen to follow the ‘Pearls Before Swine’ comic strip you’re most likely familiar with the caracter called Rat. When Rat feels the comic strip is going lame he’s usually quick to bring his concerns directly to the attention of the strip’s creator, Stephan Pastis. This confrontation usually takes only one panel for Rat to advise Pastis to either get with it or find a new line of work.
    That said, I would love to see what Rat would have to say to Jack Elrod.
    …Hell, I don’t know if there’s a newspaper that would have enough pages in it for Rat to tell Jack Elrod what he thinks of his comic strip!

  59. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#58): Wouldn’t you rather see Rat have a little get-together with Greg Evans? I know I would.

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#21):

    MT Mark strains and tightens his grip on his rod. Meanwhile, Senor Mustache bends over and reaches for the throttle, steadying their position….hey, you think this fishing competition is a metaphor for something….?

    You know, I could see it in the distance, but I have to congratulate you on actually getting there.

  61. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Beetle spoils it for everybody else when he breaks the rules.

    Zippy – Hey, Darkgate dropped Struwwelpeter! When did that happen? Is “Max und Moritz” next??

    love is… …not knowing if he’s currently alive and this is a flashback, or if he’s dead and you’re really having a flashback and oh god are you really still six years old and if you are then how did you have those babies THE BABIES oh god where are they were they real or did you just

  62. Ian Beste
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#14): Just saw Alec Baldwin reprising this role in a “Saturday Night Live” Xmas special as Santa’s rep trying to get the elf toymakers to work harder. “Because ELF YOU that’s why!”

  63. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Big Marma – It’s funny because he’s had the dog since the 1950s and he still get surprised every single time Marmaduke eats his food and steals his chair. Also his mustache looks like that guy’s.

    Marfield – Ha ha. The infant is having thoughts more appropriate to someone in an older age group again! This fresh new vein of humor promises to last forever.

  64. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#y266): Well, especially when you consider that 6+ months of real time equals less than 24 hours of Juggs Parker time!
    Which is odd when you think too much about it. the strip’s been running for decades, but at that rate, we should still be in the first year of stuff actually happening. The¨?ˆØ
    Never mind. Overheating. MuØst stop thinking about it ?now.

    @gleeb (#y280): …filled with mistakes of fact and tine…
    What the fork?

  65. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Darkgate Crankshaft is now at the birth of rock ‘n’ roll! (1955 hours since last update)

  66. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Archie – Mm. It’s starting to look more like Archie and Mr. Andrews are OEs of an APA, and it’s time to collate the current disty.

    What? Oh, nothing. Forget I spoke.

    @Crankenstank (#22): The fact that it’s an “Evening” Paper definitely sets this strip a long, long time ago.
    And at that, it was a change from the original “Second mid-morning four-star special delivery edition,” something we used to take for granted between the thrice-daily mailman’s visits.

    @lynn (#32): Yoko Ono has come out with a new line of menswear.
    ONO SHE DI’N’T!!

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#56): And Toni is hanging breathlessly on every word of the steamy details: “When you kissed your laptop screen, was it warm?”.
    “Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first site?
    Tell me more, tell me more, did it give you a byte?”

  67. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#66): Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t you that I was imagining in the rear-view-window trousers. (Ladylike, I am.)

  68. Buck Ripsnort
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    GT: Meanwhile, Terry and Doyle are discussing the campaign: Doyle says it’s “multi-pronged” but Terry rejects it because it’s “handled”.

    IT’S A FORK, ISN’T IT?

  69. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Glibporn: Worst. Tribute. To Larry Hagman. Ever!

    At this point, the psychiatrist Brooke should see is NASA’s Dr. Alfred Bellows.

  70. bats :[
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#26): Dang it, I’m as mad as a one-armed male apparition! I knew I had another Valuable Mary Worth Insight tucked away somewhere!

  71. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Gads, I’ve just got nothing today (or really this week). I liked Family Circus unironically because it reminded me of our previous house, which backed up on my son’s school property. So every morning, he’d run to school, happy to see his buddies.

    The direction Luann is taking makes me uncomfortable. It won’t be long now before Luann and Quill are interrupted before they can cyber, and then we’ll have to hear about how Quill tried to stick his quill in a vegemite pie and then we’ll all be sorry.

    Last but not least, I liked Zippy today, unironically. I actually appreciate Griffith’s little forays into autobiography, and wish he would do it more often. Today’s strip was certainly more interesting than a week’s worth of Dingburg randomness.

    See? Nothing.

  72. Mooncattie
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MW – “…and if you don’t want to read my e-mails, just press Ctrl, Alt, Del…hee…..hee hee hee……HA HA HA!

  73. Doctor Handsome
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Doyle Dane: Over-eager Washroom Attendant.

  74. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Ooh, one more. I predict that Otto is going to hit the throttle and dump Mark Trail in the soup. From that point on, it’ll be one lame joke after another, until he finally kills Mark with atomic wedgie. Who says dictators on small islands don’t do anything for their people?

  75. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#32): The real reason for selling those….. clothes…..* is the actual Yoko Ono line of bags (remember those?) to cover them up when wearing them.

    * (the patented Charles Emerson Winchester pause)

  76. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Wow, Terry Gallagher looks an awful lot like a young Frank McCourt in panel one.
    Coincidence? (Check out the cover photo of “Tis’”, his second book)

  77. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Oh, and is a Hidebound Parent anything like a Hidebound Literalist?

    I think Mr. Andrews is also a hoarder. Plus, who the hell publishes an evening edition these days, unless there’s been a huge catastrophe?

  78. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Archie: Being a Plugger, I well remember evening newspapers. In the D.C. area we had the Washington Post for the important reading on your way to work in the morning, the tabloid Washington Daily News at noon (for quick reading in the office cafeteria, especially the crossword), and the Washington Star for leisurely reading when you got home in the evening. Because the Post had pretty much drained the day’s news supply, the Star relied more heavily on features, and it thus had pages of wonderful, full-sized comic strips, way better than the Post did. The era of evening papers was the truly golden era of comic strip fandom!

    Now get off my lawn, Andrews, and take your damn pile of newspapers with you.

  79. Poteet
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @fuzzmaster (#4): Ah, “the evening paper.” Those happy days of childhood when my parents subscribed to three local papers, which wasn’t even all that unusual. And yeah, those days are very dead and gone.

  80. annieLurk
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    GT – strategy for Terry:
    1. apologize to all the girls you’ve led on
    2. pick one girl and allow her time to forgive you
    3. forget partying and win a football game
    4. dump your “marketeer.” Lini as a non-gay (?) fashionista was a lot more fun than Doyle.
    5. get humble, dude
    This is not rocket surgery.

  81. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#75): Aww! Major Winchester! I loved him.

  82. geogreg
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Archie: Following up on various comments re: the “evening edition”, I am in my early 40s, and my parents subscribed to both the morning and evening editions of the local paper until the evening edition was discontinued in 1990 (consistent with estimates of the strip’s vintage). Thus, I grew up in a household with LOTS of newsprint. If the Andrews family has not been staying on top of it, I can imagine it overflowing into the backyard. I don’t remember any nighttime sorting, however. Now, I think I’m one of the last people under age 50 to subscribe to a print edition of a newspaper at all.

  83. annieLurk
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    My last post made me think about about the difference between strategy and tactics. Please inform me as to the difference.

  84. Sometimes a Shrug Is Just a Shrug
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#y241):

    “Nobody’s talked about Jung since the first time they ran Apt. 3-G, though.”

    But I was so much older then — I’m Junger than that now.

  85. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Terry’s mom is pretty clearly indicating that a strategy is what she doesn’t want. When she has decided that Terry’s dad has messed up, he doesn’t bring her a strategy, he gets on the floor and begs forgiveness. Or/then she beats him.

  86. bbofun
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    GT- “When your dad messes up, does he bring me a strategy?” “No, mum.” “And why is that?” “Because ya killed him, mum.” “and why did I kill him?” ‘Because he was a dick, mum.” ‘That’s right, boyo. Now, stop bein’ a dick unless ye want some of what he had.”

    9CL- Couldn’t think up another “Amos and Edda kiss and exchange clothing” gag, couldja, Brooke? Beefwit hack.(heeheehee)

    JP- Time for Peaches to go away? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, he said he’d call her later in the week. That’s, what, 2, 3 days? In real life that will be (takes out JP-to-RL calculatator) a year or more? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    (Oh, and the movie is unlikely to go into production withing our lifetimes.)

  87. Shrug, Lifting That Snark and Toting That Sarcasm
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#y264):

    “Ohmigod, Judge Parker is expected to do something to earn that money? Even if it’s something as easy as mere writing?”

    Writing is NOT all that easy for him. Why, the last time he had to sharpen his own pencils, he got the fantods, took to his bed, and called in sick for a week.

  88. Snuggs
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Hey, ease up there, Fred. You don’t want Archie calling in his good friend Captain Planet, do you? The power is yours, Archie. Never forget that.

  89. Mibbitmaker
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    ZtP: “Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber” as retold by Dwight Shrute.

  90. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#79):
    Yes, I’m borderline Plugger (50) and fondly recall evening editions, and the fantastic comic pages on Sundays (when I’d stay for a few weeks with relatives in Annapolis in the summer; I’d sit in a particular chair with coffee and comics after a big Sunday breakfast and pore through Mark Trail, Winnie Winkle, Brenda Starr, Cappy Jack, Ripley’s, Peanuts, etc.)

  91. Shrug, With a Disarming Comment
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#y273):

    ” However, I do know that some schools require would-be psychiatrists and psychologists to undergo therapy themselves, just to see what it’s like from the patient’s side.”

    Dan in MARY WORTH thought this was a reasonable requirement, until he remembered that his occupational goal was “battlefield surgeon.”

  92. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, With a Disarming Comment (#91):
    I thought all psychiatric types had to go through therapy, or at least check-ins with a supervisor, like (I know I’m doing a lot of Joisey references these days) Dr. Melfi with Elliot. My talk therapist in the 90′s met frequently with her sup to deal with stuff like countertransference, stress and stressful clients, etc.
    The fantastic folks at the FAHC Oncology unit and VT Respite House get frequent debriefings and psych and spiritual support too, as well they should. My heroes.

  93. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @geogreg (#82): I still subscribe to the print edition of the Boston Globe because
    a) it’s markedly better than the Providence Journal at this poitn
    b) the print edition is still easier to navigate than the website and
    c) I like to do the crossword on my lunch hour.

  94. Kinghasnoclothes
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Tank: Tats!

  95. Name
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Statistics of the Newspaper Association of America (NAA) show that circulation numbers for evening papers have dropped from 32 million in 1950 to a mere 11 million in 1997. In 1950, there were 1,450 afternoon newspapers and 322 morning papers. In 1998, only 781 afternoon papers had survived, while the number of the morning papers had risen to 721.

    Source: The Afternoon Newspaper War
    Marvin L. Kalb, Nicholas Kralev
    From: The Harvard International Journal of Press/Politics
    Volume 5, Number 4, Fall 2000

  96. Shrug, Playing Solitaire
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Dagger (#y18):

    “The AJGLU-3000 can’t help it. It cranked out Archie’s first appearance on December 22, 1941.”

    Actually, the AJGLU-3000 was just an upgraded release of the original AJGLU-1600. When the earlier one was programmed to write ARCHIE, this joke involved an alleged dodo which had been shot with a blunderbuss, and Archie and Reggie were speaking Dutch.

  97. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#90):
    Oooops, I meant Cappy Dick ™.
    Must have Moonie on my brain, that wacky fellow.
    (NSFW or young kids, but funny)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsx2mK1RDSQ

  98. Will
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Thanks to: ‘Crazy’ Harry Klinghorn. Westview, OH.”

  99. The Sharks
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    MT — Leave us the hell out of this. Don’t make us the heavies. We mean it.

  100. Droopy Says
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#74): I predict Otto will end up in the water, and Trail will rescue him from the sharks. They return to the Little Island as friends, watch Andy have a tongue-lolling contest with the fish-eating kid, and discuss how to invest the ransom in the construction of an ecotourist site. Otto proposes to Senora Momjeans and Trail flees to LoFo.

  101. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#16): “Originally this strip must have been about the dad having to help Archie sort the sectionals before the break of dawn to get ready for his morning paper route…”

    I think you’re right. Used to be a paperboy myself in the ’60s,* and that’s what it looked like. So the art in this strip must have originally run prob. then or earlier with the dialog going something like, “Archie, I’m glad you got the job on a paper route, but…”‘

    Then it was repurposed in the early ’90s (like the rest of the current recycling series) with the current dialog.

    And now they just reprint it, 3rd time, at least, with the idiotic “evening edition” anachronism intact, because: They just don’t care!

    // I don’t mind zombies like “Mutt & Jeff” or “Henry”. They are sometimes interesting from an historical perspective, and they don’t even pretend to be current. (I wish they’d print the orig. pub. date, tho). But Archie combines laziness with stupidity with dishonesty. Perfect!

    *Broward County edition of the Miami Herald, for those multitudes following me and Illustrator Steve in our exciting on-going review of Fort Lauderdale, Past and Present.

  102. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Playing Solitaire (#96):

    You mean Archie 3? I like him. He’s doing a good job quarterbacking the Redskins.

  103. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#100): I predict Otto will end up in the water, and Trail will rescue him from the sharks.

    Yes, but Otto will lose his arm, because one-armed characters are the hot viral comics meme now, and Elrod is nothing if not au courant.

  104. Baka Gaijin
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Sarge is concerned that Beetle broke the ruler at the 8 inch mark measuring the distance to his prostate. He knows Beetle measures only 7 inches on an especially excited night.

  105. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    I’m really looking forward to the bus video of the driver getting pissed off and beating the hell out of Billy. I’m starting to glean why the Keane boys come home all tattered and torn. They irritate the hell out of everyone they meet outside the Kompound.

  106. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101): Ooh! Oooh! Was there a Broward Drugs? Tell us that story again!
    //is there an emoticon for sarcasm?

  107. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#105): A likely candidate for COTW, assuming the lighthearted witticisms of Mr. Joke Killer don’t superceed you.

  108. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Stupid spell check. Supercede. Moron.

  109. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Dawn is so focused on contacting One Armed Jim (or OAJ) that she’s failed to notice the student with explosives in his backpack who has just strolled by. This silly little understanding will be over shortly as Dawn, herself, will be missing various body parts.

    “Stop whining about your missing arm, Jim, at least you still have a head. Mine is gone for good.”

  110. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#102): You mean Archie 3? I like him. He’s doing a good job quarterbacking the Redskins.

    I took me nearly a minute to realize that you were making a pun on RG III, because I thought you were referring to the Mannings (Archie 1 = original, Archie 2 = Peyton, Archie 3 = Eli) and getting the team wrong.

  111. Shrug, Noting Last Call for Lascaux
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#61):

    “Hey, Darkgate dropped Struwwelpeter! When did that happen? Is “Max und Moritz” next??”

    I gave up on Darkgate when they dropped the cave paintings. Right in the middle of the exciting “three men hunt auroch” story arc too!

    /// I heard that Elrod considered taking on that strip instead, but found it too hard to use clip art with cavern walls still attached.

  112. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#110):

    Yeah (buffing my nails). I’m pretty deep.

  113. hcv
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Hey, in the AV Club Archie retrospective, I found a couple of things that actually made me laugh — Archie “offering to sing all 917 verses” of his original folk song (hey, Tom Lehrer mined the same vein…), and the ’70s “pet hinge”.

    And I totally agree with “Li’l Harry” that “there are only two kinds of music, good music and bad music! Any music that makes people happy is good music!”

    Unfortunately, of course, The Archies’ music is very, very bad music.

    And now I have the repetitive visual loop of Reggie rocking out with his axe running in my brain to go along with my morning ear worm; won’t you share it with me? “Honey… awwww, sugar sugar…”

  114. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Noting Last Call for Lascaux (#111): You know you’re a Plugger when…

  115. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#108):
    Actually, I was fine with superceed.

    The Joke Killer has been quiet lately. (Chirp chirp). Too quiet. I don’t like it.

  116. pugfuggly
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#60):

    Well, you know what they say ‘A sick mind is all you need to be able to enjoy the daily comics’. Well, I can’t repeat exactly what they say, it’s filthy.

  117. Old Folkie
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#78): As a DC native, I also remember all 3 papers. My bluecollar dad only read the Daily News, after dinner while smoking his daily El Producto cigar.

  118. hcv
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#37):

    Two words: Thanksgiving. Inserts.

  119. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#100): But… he has a MUSTACHE!!!

  120. Marc
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#93): I’ve got a print subscription to the Buffalo News because I read the paper while eating breakfast in the morning. The last thing I want to do before or after work is spend even more time reading off a computer screen. Plus the News website went to a pay for content set up so by having a subscription I can read the print edition at my leisure and still be able to check the website during the day.

  121. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101):
    I propose we take a strip a week (not just Archie) and put new dialogue in, sort of like the NY caption thing. Winner gets to clean up after the Charterstone pool parties.
    This could lead to some really surreal stuff!

  122. Shrug, With a Late Comment
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    All of the Curmudgeons who assume there are no evening papers still being published are wrong. Wikipedia notes for instance that the LONDON EVENING STANDARD “is the dominant regional evening paper for London and the surrounding area.”

    It also informs me of the extant EVENING TIMES of Glasgow and EVENING EXPRESS of Aberdeen, Scotland; the EVENING GAZETTE of Teesside and the OLDHAM EVENING CHRONICLE and the LANCASHIRE EVENING POST (all U.K.); the MX with several Australian urban editions; the YANGCHENG EVENING NEWS in China; and several afternoon/evening papers published in India.

    Archie is willing to spend the extra money for pricey international newspaper subscriptions to become a better-informed world citizen, even if he is tempted to spend that money instead on dates, food, and gas for his jalopy. I think we could all use a bit of his can-do spirit.

  123. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121): What’s Up, Tiger Lily?

  124. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, With a Late Comment (#122): Oh! Well, then. If it’s on Wikipedia…

  125. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121): Isn’t that what we have bats:[ for?

  126. Snarkotix Addict
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    A3G – These odd body positions in A3G make my head spin. And the dialog doesn’t match their postures. When a man is bent over, looking over his shoulder at another man, they’re not usually discussing the latest neighborhood rumors.

  127. Indichik
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are miserable, dried-up husks of people who have long since given up hope of finding happiness or fulfillment in their work.

  128. Gringo
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @fuzzmaster (#4): I’m pretty sure there’s not even one city left that has both a morning and an afternoon paper

    If it hasn’t been pointed out yet: Charleston, West By God Virginia still has its AMer (the Gazette) and PMer (the Daily Mail)!

  129. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#126):
    I know, I mentioned this yesterday – Bolle does not seem to know how to have 2 people talking to each other face to face.

  130. Calico
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#125):
    Yes! But I need more. I am a mashup addict.

  131. Dood
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: “When your dad messes up, does he bring me a strategy? No, he whips out his shillelagh.”

  132. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#128): Well, that’s to be expected. Hootin’ Holler really needs that extra Outhouse Edition.

  133. Gringo
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Re the discussion of morning vs. evening newspapers:

    My hometown area of Louisiana is served by two evening newspapers. Being small-town, it’s their way of competing with the big-city morning papers.

    Also, having worked in both environments, I can say the evening-paper workshift is highly preferable. In at 6 a.m., out at 3 p.m., the whole evening ahead of you. Working on a morning paper, you’re often in at 5 p.m., out at 1 a.m., and your social whirl consists of closing down dive bars and sleeping until 2 p.m.

  134. Gringo
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#132): That’s an outrageous stereotype. It’s an established fact that the citizenry of West By God favors the use of the Sears, Roebuck catalog in the privy.

  135. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#120): Good point about the computer screen too. I’m pretty much married to one or another when I’m at work and a lot of the time at home. It is healthy to get away from that for awhile.

  136. pastordan, lazy professor
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Sometimes a Shrug Is Just a Shrug (#84): You’re lucky I have unconditional positive regard for puns.

  137. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    @hcv (#113): “Sugar, sugar” makes me happy, even though (because?) I know it’s cheap and shiny.

  138. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#120): I considered getting an electronic edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer last year when they were all but giving away the reader and offering a steep discount on the subscription. Then I realized – wait, I only have dial-up at home. And I like to read my paper at 5AM, not after I have time to go someplace that has wifi.
    //yeah, yeah, you know you’re a Plugger when you have an AOL e-mail address and use a dial-up modem. This is why I do all my curmudgeoning at work.

  139. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#137): Nothing wrong with being happy. I see you your ‘Sugar, Sugar” and raise you Leslie Gore singing “Sunshine Lollipops”.

  140. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#133): Makes sense. I’ve always been a proponent of figuring out what your competition doesn’t do, and do that instead of competing head-to-head.

  141. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#138): If having an AOL address == being a Plugger, what does having a CS.com (Compuserve) address make you? Extremely old-school, or pathetically pathetic?

    Not that I personally have one (anymore), but I did run into a valid compuserve email address in the customer database the other day. Then again, I think that person tried to pay for our product with a BancAmericard charge-plate.

  142. Johann Sebastian Cock
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    So, there’s this “Christian” comic that has been going on the Times-Picayune website since they abandoned the burdens of being a newspaper called “Heaven’s Love Thrift Shop.” I’d been assiduously avoiding it, but today what did I happen to accidentally click on but a strip with a mild but timely and not at all Bible-thumping joke but, there in the middle panel, Tongue Kid! Tongue Kid isn’t just poor and eating fish on an island. He’s poor and eating turkey in your neighborhood, America!

  143. CanuckDownSouth
    November 30th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, With a Late Comment (#122): I was going to mention that! Visited London during the paralympics this summer and the (free!) Evening Standard was great fun to read on the train/tube at night. Lots of sports updates, and yes, some real news.

  144. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @annieLurk (#83): Re:My last post made me think about about the difference between strategy and tactics. Please inform me as to the difference.

    Grand Strategy – Who should my enemies be? Who should be my allies? How do I approach the war? Ex. I must eventually fight France and Russia. Make allies with buffer states in East Europe. Fight France first, knock them out of the war, then turn on Russia.

    Strategy – Given that I must fight this enemy, how should I do it? Ex. Invade Russia with three Army Groups – North, Central, West. Make them independent commands. Give them objectives of : Leningrad, Moscow, Rostov, respectively. Split my armor so that the preponderance is in the center, and divide my infantry accordingly.

    Operations – Given that I have been given command of three Panzer Corps and four Infantry Corps, and ordered to take Moscow, how do I do it? What are my intermediate objectives? What enemy formations do I outflank, and which do I attack head-on?

    Tactics – Given that I have been told to occupy Smolensk via a head-on assault, aided by a flanking movement to the left, how do I divide my forces? When do I begin the artillery bombardment? Do I first infiltrate the city with my infantry, or do I send in the Panzers at dawn? Does the infantry ride in on the back of the tanks, or do they dismount and advance in the gaps between tanks, or do I hold them back entirely until the Panzers have overrun the enemy front lines?

    Or, more broadly, strategy is concerned with defining your objectives, while tactics is concerned with how to accomplish the objectives you have defined. And, yes, this becomes recursive as you define new means to accomplish more-precise objectives, hence the continual invention of intermediates such as “Operational” decision-making.

  145. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#141): I started my internet experience with Juno and I still see Juno e-mail addresses. I guess Prodigy is no more, though, huh? I’m ok with anything as long as it isn’t coming from HAL 9000.

  146. Poteet
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#90): Cappie Dick! And Winnie Winkle, Steve Canyon, Rip Whatzizname, and that weird Dick Tracy adventure on Hawaii with Little Pineapple. Memories…light the corners of my miiiiind…

  147. pugfuggly
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#121):

    OK, here’s my entry: Archie ‘X’</a.

  148. Poteet
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#143): I visited London in spring of 2008 and there were newspapers everywhere, lots of newspapers, different kinds of newspapers! Glorious.

  149. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#141):

    I started with CompuServe until I got hip and joined AOL. Used to ring up $300 monthly access charges on AOL, too! Chat rooms, you know.

    Last month I saw a peoplespc email extension. Are they really still around?

  150. Poteet
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

  151. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Every time I see Funky being called Funky in the strip I cringe. I would equate that to someone calling me Slim or Stretch. Actually I would equate it to someone calling Funky,himself, Slim or Stretch.

  152. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#144):

    Hey, Calvin, wanna play Stratego? Risk, maybe?

  153. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#144): Gee, that made me long for the days when people went on and on about various drugstore chains. You know – the good old days here at the CC.

  154. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#152):

    Hearts of Iron 3 is always good! A grand-strategic PC game from Paradox Interactive that allows you to play as any nation from the WWII era. With the world split up into 25,000 different territories, it also serves as an outstanding geography tutorial.

    @lynn (#153):
    Oh, you mean the good ole’ days … of last week?

    Y’know, I haven’t seen a good discussion of slide rules recently. Did they become obsolete while I wasn’t paying attention?

  155. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#153): I kid. I enjoy the pleasant salmagundi that is the Comics Curmudgeon.

  156. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#155): Spellcheck does not recognize salmagundi? ZOMG! What is the world coming to!!!
    //whither is the world going?
    ///The world is going to wither?
    ///Whither where whence is the world going to?

  157. annieLurk
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

  158. Chaze
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#155):

    Oh man…my Colgate senior yearbook was called Salmagundi.

  159. seismic-2
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#144): Was that the “multi-prong campaign” that Doyle Dane had designed? The girls of Milford High never stood a chance, against all those Panzer Divisions!

  160. Shrug, Who Drug In Another Bad Joke
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#153):

    I’ve not seen any drugstore commentary here for what must surely be the ultimate niche market store: Thrifty White Drug. (For all us Caucasians who cannot afford to shop at Spendthrift White Drug, you know.)

  161. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#158): You must have beautiful teeth. I was on the fencing team at Aquafresh U.

  162. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who Drug In Another Bad Joke (#160): And this would probably be the place to advertise that establishment.

  163. Dale
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    ZITS lovers, justify this:

    Jeremy is just an ordinary teen. Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable for him to take a piece of mail, which is addressed to him, and toss it over his shoulder.

    It could have been worse. If he were really concerned about security, he would have ripped into small pieces and scattered them around the room.

  164. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#161):

    I was on the spelunking team for the Holey Cross Cavity Creeps!

    @annieLurk (#157):

    I think the Marketing Strategy would be “Kids today – they like cheers! and they like to feel as if they are part of a larger, popular group! How do we link Irish here with that?”

    Then the multi-pronged tactical approach would be “We’ve come up with the “Shamrock Shake”, which is a group cheer that involves stomping up and down on the bleachers. And we will call the bleacher section performing the shake the “Emerald Isle”, to emphasize the coolness of the people performing the cheer.”

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#108): Stupid spell check. Supercede. @Chaze (#115): Actually, I was fine with superceed.

    You may not be out of the woods yet. “Supersede” is the preferred spelling. OED says flat out that “supercede” is erroneous. M/W, always a bit more liberal on these things, says it “has occurred as a spelling variant of supersede since the 17th century, and it is common in current published writing. It continues, however, to be widely regarded as an error.”

    // You’re welcome.

  166. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Luann-Luann can now join the ranks of people who claim to have girlfriends in other lands. Maybe she and one of those people can meet and form an actual relationship.

  167. John C
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Doyle has bought all the girls blood diamonds to win back their love and affection.

  168. Uncle Lumpy
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#146):

    Rip Whatzizname

    Kirby, dammit — Rip Kirby! And Desmond!

  169. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165): I, personally, have always felt we should use spellings from the seventeenth century. Dr. Johnson and Mr. Boswell heartily concur.
    //you’re cute when you get all smart like that.

  170. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    If I recall correctly, it was Johnson’s dictionary that young Miss Becky Sharp threw out of the carriage window when she left school, in Vanity Fair.

  171. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    love is… So, Mr. Love Is is named George?

  172. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    MT-This can only end with Otto shooting Mark in the head and dumping Mark’s body overboard. Eventually Mark will wash up on another island and rescue a woman and her son who are being held hostage by drug dealers. To cover their escape Mark will set a shed full of drugs on fire.

  173. annieLurk
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#144):
    So, in terms of the current GT story arc, have I suggested strategy or tactics?:
    Grand Strategy – Restore your reputation
    Strategy – Pick the one girl you really like. Meanwhile, concentrate on football and academics.
    Operations – This sounds like a job for the girls
    Tactics – apologize to all the girls you led on in order of the kissing, and get on with making up with the girl you really like (or Lini). And dump your marketeer.

    Am I right (or close)?

    Annie

  174. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Archie-The punchline for this originally was the dad complaining to Archie about not putting down enough newspaper before whacking a guy.

  175. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#40): Is there a name for that kind of hat? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one except in Family Circus, and yet somehow I could tell it was a 1950′s thing.

  176. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#71): Zippy – But he did manage to get some random weirdness in there, at least on my first reading: “I was 5 years old & had no understanding of the cat.”

  177. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#175): I’m sure it had a name, but I have no idea what it was.

  178. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#175): This example of a vintage hat like Dolly’s is on Etsy at http://www.etsy.com/listing/102332423/vintage-half-hat-1950s-girls
    and they are calling it a ‘half hat’ but I doubt that was the correct name.

  179. Shrug, Fan of Makepeace, not War
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#170):

    “If I recall correctly, it was Johnson’s dictionary that young Miss Becky Sharp threw out of the carriage window when she left school, in Vanity Fair.”

    Meaning that when she entered that carriage, Becky Sharp was clutching her Johnson? This brings out a previously unsuspected level to the book.

  180. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#175): D’oh. I looked a little farther. They really were called ‘half hats’.

  181. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Fan of Makepeace, not War (#179): In John Meyers Meyers’ wonderful Silverlock , Miss Sharp clutches the protagonist’s johnson. The fun of Silverlock, when I was a kid, was to re-read it every few months and recognize more and more of the characters. I felt that Meyers didn’t have a very good grasp of Becky Sharp. She was not about giving it away. She was definitely a ‘cross my palm with silver’ girl.

  182. lynn
    November 30th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#181): Was it ladylike of me to say that? This ladylike routine is getting pretty boring. Without eros, what is left but thanatos! Oh, Freud!

  183. Shrug, Contemplating Frozen Assets
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#181):

    ” I felt that Meyers didn’t have a very good grasp of Becky Sharp. She was not about giving it away. She was definitely a ‘cross my palm with silver’ girl.”

    Or as the old song has it: “If I can’t sell it, I’m gonna keep sitting on it / You’ll never catch me giving it away.”

    /// I don’t know just how old a song; I learned it back in the sixties from an album by the wonderful Judy Henske.

    //// Who, incidentally, is still recording and now also most of her music available on cd: http://www.judyhenske.com/

  184. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#129):

    I know, I mentioned this yesterday – Bolle does not seem to know how to have 2 people talking to each other face to face.

    But then, how do they… um… they… you know… do it?

  185. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#180): Aha, so that’s what they were called! Thanks for the research! Now that I see the photos, I think I remember seeing one in real life once.

  186. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#151):

    Every time I see Funky being called Funky in the strip I cringe.

    Isn’t Funky a nickname? Does he have a real name?

  187. Liam
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#186):

    He was named Funky after the odor he gave off when he was born.

  188. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#144): Shucks. All I know is “never fight a land war in Asia,” and I don’t even know why.

  189. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who Drug In Another Bad Joke (#160):

    Don’t drive no big black car
    Don’t like no Hollywood movie star
    You want me to be true to ya
    Don’t give a damn what I do to ya
    I shop at Thrifty White Drugs
    Thrifty White Drugs…

  190. Alison
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: I see someone finally tried to point out to Luann that having a relationship with a guy in Oz might be slightly hard, only to be shot down by Luann’s brilliant and well thought-out “LOL we just use technology you big stupid dummy” reasoning. Boy, she really showed you, Toni!

    “Mary Worth”: Dawn, I’m pretty sure you qualify as a stalker at this point. Honestly, leave Jim alone to sit and fume over his missing arm and dead sister in peace.

  191. Peanut Gallery
    November 30th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#169): Oh, you mean like this place!

  192. Shrug, To Go, and No Anchovies
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#191):

    I often eat Ye Olde Pizza, but it’s usually not more than one day Olde, and even then it’s been in Ye Refrigeratore.

  193. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#51):

    Sometimes I don’t have time to read my morning paper until evening. Does that make it an evening paper?

    Huh. I guess my Sunday NY Times becomes my MondayTuesdayWednesdayThursday daily paper.

  194. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 30th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#187):

    He was named Funky after the odor he gave off when he was born.

    Ah, it must have been a rectal delivery.

  195. Old Folkie
    November 30th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#149): 25 yrs ago I used to chat on a BBS with my 300 baud modem…

  196. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 30th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    @annieLurk (#173):
    You got it!

    Now hold the Panzer divisions in reserve in case you need them for the playdowns.

  197. Illustrator Steve
    November 30th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#172): “This can only end with Otto shooting Mark in the head…”

    And Mark says, “It’s deja vu all over again…IT WILL MAKE A GOOD STORY!”

  198. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    MT – OK, is Otto Mark’s kidnapper or fishing guide? Discuss.

  199. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#101):

    Your MT premise is so lame, that you are most certainly correct!

  200. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 30th, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#199):

    Dammit, that was for Droopy Says at #100!

    Damn virtual keyboard!

  201. The Doctor
    November 30th, 2012 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Ha, ha, Sarge’s “ruler” broke, and he is sad, but he feels wholly inadequate when he sees Beetle’s “brim” extending… Although I could be completely wrong, and Sarge could have actually broken a ruler by spanking Beetle in the twisted S&M relationship the two share. Oh God, I’ve become a twelve year-old… And I think I see a vengeful Margo Magee approaching. Hey, listen, none of you saw me here, okay?

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