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GUESSING GAME: What is Jim self-medicating with?

Mary Worth, 12/4/12

Good news, everybody! One-armed Jim didn’t just happen to wander down to the pier because he cured himself of his deep-rooted psychological problems with sheer willpower. No, he overcame his deep terror of the sea and all it represents (i.e., boat-caused amputation and/or death) especially to see Dawn, and rather than using one of the many communication methods she made available to him, he decided to just lurk down by the water until she showed up, so he could startle and unsettle her. Add this to the “I want to protect/sex you because you look like my dead sister” and “I only like you as a friend, that’s why I’m calling you and texting you and emailing you a zillion times a day” and we know that this relationship can only be healthy from here on in!

Crock, 12/4/12

Well, here you have it: what I’m pretty sure is the first Crock I’ve ever laughed at unironically. Naturally it somehow arrives more than six months after the strip stopped being published, which I don’t understand any more than you do.

287 responses to “GUESSING GAME: What is Jim self-medicating with?”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Dogs of C-Kennel

    RUT ROH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://www.gocomics.com/dogsofckennel/2012/12/04

  2. Optimus Prime Rib
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Things must be tough at Disney. Pluto is moonlighting on Hi & Lois.

  3. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    A3G: Sure you feel a mutual attraction, Greg. It can’t all be wishful thinking and bourbon.

    JP: And that attitude right there, folks, is why our planet can’t have nice things.

    Lockhorn: You don’t know the half of it, Leroy. You’ve got 59 more plates to go, subject to increase.

    MW: Wait, this is THE pier? And out of all the places they could have gone for their first not-date, Dawn took Jim here? Okay, I’m beginning to see why he may have been a bit freaked out …

    Ziggy: “And by ‘nose,’ I mean ‘malignant teratoma.’”

  4. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    That’s not the kind of pier you could park a ferry at.

    Also, they stopped publishing Crock? What’s next, the Wizard of Id?

  5. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah, I remember now. That metapost was one of the first ones I read here. Didn’t bother commenting on it now.

  6. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I will find you guilty of something Kraven even if I have to murder a bus full of children and blame it on you.”

    RMMD-What about the fourth ‘P’? Pussy.

    MT-And Mark wins by default as Otto is torn apart by the sharks.

  7. pugfuggly
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    MW Erm, is Jim unbuttoning his shirt there in panel 1? ‘Dawn, I just realized that life is short, and I’ll probably only have a couple of opportunities to do it with someone who looks so much like my sister. And hey, if the pier gets you off, we can do it right here

    Crock: stopping the spread of invasive mimes since 1975.

  8. Greg
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: “I’ll love you, Dawn, as soon as birds fly out my nose.”

    *birds fly out nose*

    “Okay, when pigs fly out. Pigs. Let’s make it pigs.”

    And a new expression is born!

  9. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    JP – As many of us pointed out yesterday, avoiding this conversation is the entire purpose of eloping. This is nothing more than a call for attention. “Oh, please, don’t plan a huge, fancy wedding with mounds of gifts and thousands of guests! Please, don’t invite the President and First Lady! Please, please, don’t hold it at the Princess Castle in DisneyWorld like I’ve dreamed of since I was just a wee lad! For the love of God, father, for the love of God!!”

    Of course, the fact that she is being referred to as “Katherine” reminds us that the Judge Emeritus’ wife is not Randy’s mother, just some bimbo approximately as old as Randy is who has only been in the family for a few weeks (strip time). So the notion that she has spent her entire life pining for the opportunity to plan a step-son’s grand wedding is also ridiculous.

  10. Chareth Cutestory
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “It was more important to me that I see you than for me to avoid the memory of this place. The mental pictures in my dead sister spank bank were starting to run out.”

  11. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    9CL is . . . screwing with musical accompaniment by your daughter.

    AD: /fail

    HotC: hand it here, kid. That sounds delish.

    JS: stealing gags from Curtis.

    Lio: WIN!!!!!! *furious applaz*

    SBp, Bizarro: trying too hard.

    Zits: that, and the better oral skills.

    JUMBLE: GRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!! also, bonus points for people of color.

    PMP: love the “oooo” face on the victim.

    RwO: giggleSNURK. o well done.

    6Cx: o ye godz, how true this can be.

  12. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .Luann

  13. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    9CL – Oh, God, we are in for a whole week month eternity of this ‘tee hee! they fuck all the time!’ nonsense, aren’t we?

  14. BigTed
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    You know how, in comics, when a character is passionately in love he’ll have all these little hearts flying around his head? Jim has the same thing, but with seagulls.

  15. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Crock: Schmeese duly was arrested for bad miming, but I still think the firing squad is a little harsh. Maybe not.

  16. pugfuggly
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    A3G Day two of Greg stalking around his apartment, repeating stuff we already know. Take your time, A3G, we’re not going anywhere.

    ASM “Hey, camera 1, make sure to get a good shot of the back of Kraven’s head. Good…now just hold it there…very nice…”

    MT Tomorrow: Otto is devoured by a megalodon, Mark finishes catching the tarpon and Rusty cries, knowing that somewhere, somehow, Mark is fishing without him. Again.

  17. Christopher
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Crock: “The men will be watching Dancing With The Stars, and offering you a blindfold seemed only humane. Ha ha, no, seriously, they’re going to shoot you.”

  18. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    MW: He’s throwing her in, right? “Die, like my sister Ah ha!”

  19. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MW: A little heavy on the eye makeup there, Jimbo.

  20. Justin
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Tomorrow, Jim completes his incestual fantasy by pushing Dawn in the pier to drown.

  21. Justin
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#18): Well, this is awkward.

  22. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    MW-The next time we see Dawn after this story she will be moaning about how Jim broke up with her.

    Crock-Haven’t they told you? We are throwing you a surprise party.

  23. teenagebambam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    There’s a great article on the French Foreign Legion in last month’s Vanity Fair, which will pretty much ruin any fond memories anybody might have about Crock. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  24. Crankenstank
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    So I sort of understand why Peanuts is still running in reruns; it ran for 50 years, it was beloved by many, and despite the lack of edge or even humor of its last 20 years or so, the strong sense of auteur really resonated. I can even understand, sort of, in a tiny little way, why Dennis the Menace continues, since a tiny part of the audience that once found it funny when they were 8 are still with us, at least as long as Medicare funding is maintained. But Crock? Is there some legion of Beau Geste fan clubs out there I missed that will continue to eat up the jokes for decades to come in re-run? Or perhaps, like Jerry Lewis, Crock is still considered veeery foooony en France and due to some sort of weird trade restrictions the millions of Euro-Crock fans can only get their fix via illicitly imported American funny papers. Oh, right, there’s the simplest explanation, which is that everybody involved with the print news industry has calcified blood vessels preventing anything so deft as clearing out a little comic space for a new strip that might attract a potential reader under the age of 90. Take your pick…

  25. Dono
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @Optimus Prime Rib (#2):

    I think is supposed to be Blondie and Dagwood’s dog Daisy–or one of her offspring’s offspring.

  26. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    MW-And I didn’t know where you lived and I knew that you like to hang around the pier like a common prostitute.

  27. Bootsy
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Oh, sweet feathery jeebus! Look at Curtis! Is that the barber guy’s (I can’t be arsed to remember his name. Gunther? Gawain?) head sticking up out of the grocery bag?

  28. Horace Broon
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: “I think the attraction goes both ways: Margo finds me as attractive as I find myself!”

    ASM: The normal thing to say would be “Not everyone!”, but apparently, Peter’s self-loathing has reached the point where he no longer considers himself to be a person.

    Pluggers: And then remembered you don’t have a cellphone.

  29. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    FW-Poor Harry. He’s not going to make enough from the sale of the comics and he is going to have to sell his body to lonely men who desire a few hours worth of company.

  30. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    GF – I have a huge well of good will for this strip. When it focuses on the character-driven interactions between Bucky and Satchel, it can be very funny and touching. The sequence from one of my compilations where Bucky finds and fixes Satchel’s watch is a classic, and the very recent “Pretty Little Find-it-All” bit shows that the strip can still do this sort of gentle humor.

    I just wish the whole, seemingly endless, and often-rerun, “British English versions of American English movies/novels” obsession would be allowed to die off. I just skim them at this point, so it doesn’t matter if they are original or repeats. It’s like the worst days in PBS, where the entire day is spent setting up a single wordplay punchline that isn’t really funny. The farther you have to go to get to the pun, the less it is worth the effort.

  31. Alice
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Well, I actually laughed non-ironically at Luann today. Frank’s line was just over-the-top enough to work. However, Quill’s lines were superfluous. And why the merry hell does he have to say “G’day” all the time? Does Evans really think readers are stupid enough not to remember he’s Australian? Apparently.

  32. Holly Folly
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    I like how Jim can talk without moving his lips. I would like to think that he is telepathically telling Dawn about his terrible fear based memories. Which probably explains the expression on Dawns face.

  33. Jacqui Brown
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    MW- didn’t anyone notice that in yesterday’s strip Jim has both arms (complete with hands and everything)? Has he been in PT getting used to using his prosthesis and is now surprising Dawn with his cool new hand? What will he do with all the altered shirts he had?
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/comics/king.html?name=Mary_Worth&date=20121203

  34. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

  35. TheDiva
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    MW: Look at her mouth! Jim has clearly dressed a blow-up doll as “Dawn” and is enacting his sick fantasies with her.

  36. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    and some semi-naughty lolsnark to go with the squee.

    I somewhat hesitate to do this, but it is for The Didactic Duo. *gigglez*

    well, it works for caterpillers. . . . (sort of nsfw)

  37. Kimble
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @Jacqui Brown (#33):

    Yea, I noticed the arm, too. Either he has a prosthesis OR this is some fantasy trip and Dawn is really drowning.

  38. wossname
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Curtis – Thank you, Billingsley, for not neglecting the hoary old trope that every bag of groceries must have a baguette and a bunch of celery sticking out. (Hoary Old Trope would make a great name for a punk polka band.)

    H&L – Hey, that’s Daisy Bumstead! Why would she go slumming in the boring Walker-Browne-iverse?

    K&K – I really want to know how a hedgehog and a bat have sex, and (in the impossible event that they reproduce) what their offspring would look like. Wait a minute – no, I don’t.

    GT – Interception!! No. 22, Gallagher, picks off the Valley Tech pass and runs it back for a touchdown!! Milford wins and is headed for the playdowns!!!!! (Or, wait, maybe this is the playdowns.)

    But seriously, why would Valley Tech pass on 4th and 9? It must be very late in the game.

  39. Mibbitmaker
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Jim’s sudden new arm, the ongoing yecchy sister fetish, all those calls, etc., that he never even acknowleged let along answered, his hyper-protectiveness… there are more elephants in the room than a Republican convention! Also, of all the piers in all the world, she had to choose that one!

    Crock: Schmeese hadn’t heard he was going to be blasted in a firing squad (though obviously IN that situation), yet he seems to be cynically aware that he’s in that situation, and that the “joke” is stupid. Maybe he’s thinking, “Fruhlinger found this funny? Eh, nobody’s perfect, I guess!”

  40. TheDiva
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    9CL: Maybe if he Dutch tilts the panel far enough, everybody will fall off and Edda will get crushed by the piano.

    A3G: No, Greg! [*] She can read your thoughts!

    C’shaft: One of Tom Batiuk’s co-workers burned a pan of brownies once, and he’s been harping on it ever since.

    FW: Because when you need to sell comic books for cash, it makes sense to hold onto the more valuable ones.

    Lio: Well, of course!

    Luann: Even phony-baloney relationship development must be squashed.

    Phantom: *Lion devours him while he’s talking*

    Pibgorn: I wonder if Brooke realizes the “vomitous moron” has the same verbosity, obsession with sex, and insufferable attitude as his “heroic” author avatars?

  41. Hibbleton
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Mary has brought Jim and Dawn together on the pier to fulfill the horrific watery deaths they were fated to and thought they had avoided in this latest installment of the Final Destination franchise. Wilbur will be found dead later in the week lying face down in a bowl of soup, a stream of water trailing from him to the television as this metaphor gets out of hand.

  42. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    A3G-Sorry Greg, but Margo goes only one way and it is not with men. What do you think three women who live together do at night. I’ll give you a guess and it doesn’t involve knitting.

    Curtis-Next time you give it a shot use bullets.

    Love Is-”What are you wearing?”

  43. Chareth Cutestory
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#41): Aren’t you letting Wilbur off a bit too easy with a simple electrocution death?

  44. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    3G“But there’s an attraction there. And I think it goes both ways!”
    Margo caring for another person? The thought balloon should be pointing to the bottle. That’s the liquor talking.

    Hi – Daisy’s pups couldn’t stay at the Bumstead house forever.

    9 – With these camera angles, it can only be… the 60s Batman TV show! Stand by for “BIFF!” “BAM!” “POW!” action!

  45. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    Curtis – French bread. Celery. Curtis, you should let your mom carry that bag, because somebody’s panties are going to be hitting the ground in half a minute, and I’d rather they weren’t yours.

    love is… …the continuing adventures of a wacky neonatal redhead and her neonatal dead Cuban bandleader hubby.

    Mark – Okay, Droopy Says predicted that Mark would save Otto from a shark. Be sure and stop by the desk to get your card punched. Ten punches buys a mocha latte.

    Mary – Jim looks down at his again-empty sleeve. “We will not speak of this again.”

  46. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#y190): I’ll go back to “Prince” after this. I was thinking “Valiant” might be clearer, but if I include your vote, the polls are running 100% against it.

    @Justin (#20): Tomorrow, Jim completes his incestual fantasy by pushing Dawn in the pier to drown.
    No, first he makes her dress just like Merry. “That’s it. She wore that one! The little Kim Novak number… yeah, that’s it!” Then, he forces her to go back to the pier, passing a familiar-looking fat Englishman walking a couple of Sealyhams on the way.

  47. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Lio-”I’m sorry but I would not could not drink green tea with green eggs and ham,” said Sam I Am.

  48. Kwazzymodo
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Jim: It was important that I see you…Dawn are you there? My eyes seem to have disappeared!

  49. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MW-Also this old woman said that if I don’t see you she would get involved in ever aspect of my life.

  50. Illustrator Steve
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MT – The rest of the story arc…
    Mark saves Otto. (DUH!)

    Otto is so greatfull he lowers the ransom amount to only 1.5 million.

    Andy rejoices once he detects Mark’s scent, (or was it the tarpon?).

    Pop makes supper for the fourteenth time today while continuing to warn Mark not to go fishing with Otto.

    Senora Momjeans stands around doing nothing, as usual.

    Bill Ellis finally shows up and brings with him a yacht full of thugs with machetes from the main island who have been looking for Otto.

    Mark calls Cherry, Doc answers the phone announcing, “NO, she’s probably outside.

    Rusty, knowing Mark is on his way home after bonefishing without him, feverishly gets to work setting trip wires and booby traps for Mark. (No rush, Rusty. You must know by now that Mark will spend at least a few months at the magazine office before briefly stopping by his home in LoFo).

  51. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#46):

    …Then, he forces her to go back to the pier, passing a familiar-looking fat Englishman walking a couple of Sealyhams on the way.

    Ah, yes The Meddler — screenplay by Patricia Highsmith.

  52. Austria
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    H&L: Why does Chip’s fat friend suddenly own Daisy?

    PBS: I see Rat’s been watching Codename: Kids Next Door.

  53. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    SF: I love this strip’s “extra” punchlines, especially when it consists of Ted’s being the very essence of himself.

    GT: Valley Tech’s quarterback has an upper arm so short that his elbow is located three inches from his shoulder. Apparently late in the game the Valley Tech coaching staff put a football jersey and helmet on a pitching machine from a baseball batting cage, and they claimed it’s their quarterback. They figured Gil wouldn’t notice the difference, at least if he has been drinking for several hours before the game, so it’s a foolproof plan.

    MW: Since Jim is still terrified of the pier, why didn’t he just confront Dawn during her volunteer rounds at the hospital? Does she still go there regularly? Jim does, since even though he now has his prosthetic arm, he’s now apparently receiving a series of female hormone treatments in advance of his sex-change operation. One way or another, he will get his sister back!

    Pibgorn: I protest! We ‘Mudges are not “vomitous morons”! We’re beefwits, dammit!!!!

  54. Illustrator Steve
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MT – WOW! So…it was a BIG WAVE that threw Otto into shark infested waters?!!

    When I was in the Navy I knew a few BIG WAVES*, but none of them ever threw me into shark infested waters! (*Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service).

  55. Anonymous
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#54):

    Never WAVE at a WAF or she will WAC you.

  56. Mary Worthless
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    What does Jim self medicate with?

    Heroin

    He is the man with the golden arm.

    It was an expensive arm. It cost him a kidney, cornea, and his pride. (Why else would he be talking to Dawn?)

  57. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: Since Andy is (was) putatively created in Britain, I assume he doesn’t really know how to play The Dozens: first he makes a “Yo mama” joke, then Flo tries to top him with one of her own…

    Apt. 3-G: Greg’s expressions in today’s strip might be the weirdest and most awesome things since Tongue Kid last week. Keep drinking that colorless whiskey, Greg. Good things are in store for you.

    Family Circus: Dolly, goddammit, it’s Advent. You don’t get to ask irritating questions about the nativity of Christ until December 24th.

    Mark Trail: Until the invention of bearsharks, I suppose a regular shark will have to do.

    Mary Worth: You don’t want to know how much I wish we could see Otto’s boat tipping over in the background between Jim and Dawn. You just don’t.

    Ziggy: I’ve been waiting years for somebody to ask that question.

  58. Dood
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Puts it all in perspective.

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

  60. Ned Ryerson
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: I’ve lost the thread by which this “vomitous moron” is a “troll” or some sort of stand-in for the common beefwit who is not fit to gaze upon the art of McE. Okay, I’ve basically lost the thread of Pibgorn in general because it just sort of meanders around and sparkles a lot and doesn’t tell a story. Yes, we get that these myth-based entities are subject to some laws whereby they are conjurred around between different realms, but that alone is not a narrative.

  61. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    GUESSING GAME: What is Jim self-medicating with?

    Something that obliterates his sense of personal space and makes him think its okay to lean in and loom menacingly over someone he knows is a afraid of him… so… ten shots of Jäger and Foster’s oil can.

  62. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MT-That must be a pretty powerful wave if it can knock a person holding onto the steering wheel into the water.

  63. Steve
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    S-M: Parker, the ghost who parks his ass in front of the TV, is for some reason talking about Not Me, the ghost from Family Circus.

  64. Old Folkie
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Jacqui Brown (#33): Yeah, I was shocked to see Jim had a new arm – but I was more shocked to see Dawn had a few hairs out of place (so it really is hair, and not a bike helmet)…

  65. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    MT — Who didn’t see that coming? Anybody? Anybody?

  66. Mikey
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Who woould have thought an ocean going fishing boat with no seats would be dangerous, Otto. I like to picture him screaming “Ay! Carumba!” as he is thrown into the bull/mako/white shark infested waters.

  67. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#65): Alas, I was hoping they would reenact the classic Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Keith David street brawl They Live right there on the boat.

  68. Illustrator Steve
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    MT – “Why YES, Senor,, I did see Otto. As a matter of fact he WAVED as he went sailing by!”

  69. Binder's Butter Beans
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Awkward Sentence Structure Theatre presents Mary Worth, a comic in seventy-five interminable acts

  70. mojo
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: “Jim! I need to tell you– Heeeeyyyy! Wait a minute! One… two Why, you’re not Jim! You’re Jim’s evil twin brother, JOM! I can tell because you’re so cheerful and well-adjusted and not abusive at all! Jom! What have you done with my Jim?

  71. Mooncattie
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    MW – “It was more important to me that I see you than for me to avoid the memory of this place” suggests that the incesticide spray is doing its horrible, awkward work. Meanwhile, further along the pier, Andrew Lloyd Webber is scribbling it all down!

  72. DAS
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Let’s summarize what’s going on in MY: Controlling asshole with a sob story? check. Girl with some daddy issues wants to change controlling asshole with sob story for the better (e.g. by making him face the fears holding him back) and, while claiming she just wants to be friends, texts/calls him a zillion times a day? check. All we need is a real Nice Guy(TM) with a terrible crush on Dawn whom Dawn has actually friend-zoned by telling him “you’re a really nice guy and I love you like a brother, let’s be friends” and who wallows in self-pity wondering why Dawn goes for a controlling asshole with a sob-story and not a nice guy like him … and we’d be back in my college days.

    Bonus points if you can guess which role I tended to play (hint: not the role of Dawn).

  73. DAS
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @DAS (#72): oops … MY should be MW.

  74. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Maybe Jim’s on the same “pep pills” as Fred Basset. Or else, some experimental drug that made his arm grow back.

  75. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#59): Here I was hoping you’d put the boat in the background…even more wonderful!

  76. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @mojo (#70): Can’t be Jim’s evil twin. He doesn’t have a beard.

  77. Red Greenback
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

  78. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    MW: “Please don’t be distracted by my karate chopping the air. It’s a PTSD thing.”

    MT: Jeez Elrod, what’s your hurry all of a sudden? Are you trying to beat an office pool on when Otto will be hoist by his own petard?

    9CL: Edda rents out her Bosendorfer to couples for the purpose of going rampant on it. These two get a family discount, of course.

    JP: Climate change and rising sea levels are paltry concerns for the Parkers. What, did you think this was the only planet where they owned valuable property?

    HtH: “So those other men who’ve suddenly collapsed on the battlefield without ever being hit? Yeah, my bad.”

    DT: Dick can always make time for Broadway Bates. Just not enough time to sit him down and explain what “cosplay” is.

    DtM: Yeah, fifty pennies stuck together with some horrible goo. You’re livin’ large, kid.

    SM: “’Everyone’ may know it, but not me.” Is there a better sentence to sum up Peter’s life and career?

    SFx: Paul and Gary here are into roleplaying and some other rough stuff. Luckily for them there’s little that fazes their local constable.

    Lockhorns: Leroy and Loretta are dining on Alan Arkin?

    A3G: We already know you go both ways, Greg. Why do you think Ari wants you living here?

  79. mojo
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#76): Sometimes they cunningly shave it off. We’ll know for sure when Dawn runs to the mental hospital, only to find a tranquilized Jim in a straitjacket with a fake beard pasted on his face. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR VISITING YOUR EVIL TWIN AT THE MENTAL HOSPITAL, JIM!

  80. Stroker Ace
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Love is… $2.99 per minute.

  81. Dartpaw86
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    You do know Jim… if you actually responded to her calls, you could arrange to meet at a restaurant or something or the hospital… you two both still go there don’t you?
    That way you can see Dawn and not have to give a &^%& about the pier.

    To me this sounds more like “I’m taking advantage of you, pretending to love you but am using just to get over my fear, I’m not scared anymore, see ya loser!”

  82. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#77): PRAISE THE LORD!! I thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for mudges with photoshop skills (and apparently, time to kill).

  83. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78): I’m curious about the Parkers’ off-world holdings … are they extra-terrestrial (say, on Gliese 163 c), or are these extra-dimensional, parallel Earths?

  84. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @mojo (#79): True, true. I confess I haven’t been keeping up with my soap operas lately…by which I mean since about 1991.

  85. Dartpaw86
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    (Sorry that last post was littered with errors)

    You do know Jim… if you actually responded to her calls, you could arrange to meet at a restaurant or somewhere you enjoy, or even the hospital… you both still go there don’t you?
    That way you can see Dawn and not have to give a &^%& about the pier.

    To me this sounds more like “I’m taking advantage of you, pretending to love you solely to motivate myself to get over my fear, I’m not scared anymore, see ya loser!”

  86. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @DAS (#72):
    Actually, “MY” works quite well, as the strip has verged from Mary’s “Me myself I my meeee” to Dawn’s “Me, MY, I want, I need, me me me.”
    Does Mary need a checkup to get her various parts oiled, realigned, and recalibrated? Because this strip has become The Dawn and Wilbur Show.

  87. Tom
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Given that “Mary Worth” is drawn, why does it look like she has 2 inches of thick, dark hair coming out of her nose?

  88. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#86): Out on the pier, I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.
    In her Charterstone bier, I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.
    When David got leave-y
    And Jimmy got skeevy,
    Life’s brutal and turns on a dime,
    Every panel each day, I me mine.

  89. Inexplicable Bear Tongue
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#76): Yes he does. It’s why he’s at that pier in the first place.

    ZING!

  90. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#45): Can I get my card punched by the Fists o’ Justice?

  91. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m baffled by the way Crazy plans to sell some of his comic books. They’re obviously as dear to him as his children, so wouldn’t he be more likely to abandon them in a rainstorm?

  92. The Ghost of Jarrod
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Actually, this is the optimum scenario for your teen son/daughter: no matter what they’re doing, there won’t be any children conceived from it.

    RH – You obviously aren’t Mark Trail, Rip. Were you, you’d be figuring out how to weaponize that bear.

    MW – “And now that I’ve conquered my fear, all that’s left is for me to kill you.”

    JP – “You see, son, I love my wife far more than I love you. That’s why I’m willing to keep you from having the wedding you want.”

  93. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#39):
    …and then Dawn woke up, the bright overhead light streaming into her confused and Haldol-addled eyes, realizing that she was in restraints on a cold hard hospital bed.
    “You’re awake!” The psych nurse crowed, a big burbling bearded guy who, Dawn thought, kind of looked like that rotund asshole married to the blonde painter at Charterstone. “See, that didn’t hurt at all, now did it?” Dawn mumbled some vague statement out of the corner of her mouth, something about ‘Game of Thrones’, the orderly thought.
    “There’s an older lady here to see how you’re doing after the electroshock treatment. She has white hair and she’s wearing a magenta pantsuit.”

  94. Dartpaw86
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#86):

    I like your idea for The Dawn and Wilbur show:
    -Starring: Loser horseface/helmethair girl who gets dumped then hates life, almost dies, meets a man who fell in love with her because she looks like his sister which she apparently finds charming…?, Stalks him for whatever reason, then the two fall in love.
    -Also Starring: A fat slob who moonlights as a woman named Wendy giving people advice which he most likely put a camera in a meddling woman’s house stealing all the little wisdom she has.
    -Co-Starring: A one armed man who can magically grow it back at will, also wants to do his dead sister.
    -An meddling old lady who is now the new Wendy which will never be brought up in any story line ever again…

  95. odinthor
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    BG. — Wait a minute. Is Mr. Google supposed to share the hillbilly linguistic habits of Snuffy Smith et al.? Ah thoughts he war a city feller!

    Frazz. — “Where reading Frazz is bliss,/’Tis folly to be literate.”

    GT. — Wow! Exciting sports action! Zzzzzzzz . . .

    MW. — True; but after meeting Dawn “at this place,” you’ll have more reason to avoid the memory of it.

  96. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @Justin (#21): More so for Dawn ;-)

  97. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#93):
    It is now somebody else’s turn to write the next scene. And…..action!
    Let’s keep this going, just for the hell of it!

  98. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#67): I can hardly wait to hear Mark threaten Otto: “I have come here to chew the special kind of gum people use when they’re trying to stop smoking and kick ass, and I’m all out of the special kind of gum people use when they’re trying to stop smoking!”

  99. bats :[
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#65): still, there’s sort of a warm, squishy feeling to have known it would’ve come to this.
    Or this.

  100. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#98): And then Mark puts on the sunglasses and sees that everyone around him has facial hair.

  101. bats :[
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#77): Ah! Simplicity (and ensuing big laffs!) personified, Red! I bow!

  102. Boophilus
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I wonder what, exactly, the parents are protesting? Is it staying up on a school night? Making noise? Getting attached to someone who is geographically unavailable? Or will they actually address the issue of teens launching nude or inappropriate images of themselves into cyberspace? The last one is actually a relevant, modern topic. Which means even if Evans tries to address it, it will be in vague metaphors that helps no one.

  103. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#101):
    Bite me!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HpThNTfWrA
    (I’m pretty sure this was not intentional on the part of the dolphin-my cat Felix inadvertently put a claw into my hand this AM when he was dancing on his hind legs as I opened a fresh packet of Fiber Formula treats for him. They are smart but they are still animals, it’s all about the food most of the time!)

  104. Ryu Serpentine
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Because it needs to be done and I don’t see it yet:

    Crock: B-B-B-Bird bird bird, bird is the word

  105. terrapin
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MT: I like to think that the last thing Otto thinks before the jaws of death rip into his flesh is “Wait! Why was I trying to get rid of a guy who was worth 2 million to me?”

    MW: Wait! I saw this movie! Jim is about to turn into a giant lizard, right?

  106. I speak Jive
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    FC – Good heavens, those are the fattest calves and ankles I’ve ever seen on a child. Or an adult.

    I recently ran across a newspaper from August, 1950, and of course I had to look at the comics. Large panels, detailed artwork – it was really fun to read. There were Winnie Winkle, L’il Abner, Steve Canyon, There Ought to Be a Law… but the one that really caught my interest was Rex Morgan. The story involved someone who had come down with polio, which was almost like time travel in inself. (I dimly remember when kids weren’t allowed to play outside in the summer, for fear that they would catch polio.) But what was really amazing was that Rex seemed to actually be involved in medical issues and seemed to know what he was doing – not the self-entitled dick he is now.

  107. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#106):
    Re: Rex, so true.
    Something I want to do soon is order a copy of “Intern” by “Dr. ‘X’”. I read it a few times when I was a kid and things were not that different between his internship and the hospitals of the 60′s – I’m eager to read up and compare it to what is happening now medically.

  108. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Luann — One word: “teledildonics”.

  109. bunivasal
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Crock is executing mimes? Or beatniks? Either way, I have him a bum rap.

  110. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#108): One shudders to imagine Greg Evans’ The Graduate. Benjamin would be hapless, unlikable slacker; Mrs. Robinson a lying, sexually-aggressive, manipulative man-eater; Elaine a bland, unremarkable Suzy Creamcheese… okay so nothing much would change, except for the addition of gratuitous camel toe.

  111. commodorejohn
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#24): I explain the continued existence of Crock thusly: Shortly after its 1975 introduction, a deal was struck between the syndicate and the producers of the 1977 Marty Feldman movie The Last Remake of Beau Geste, wherein the syndicate agreed not to take any legal action against a suspiciously-close follow-on in the same genre, in exchange for which the studio would write off the income from Crock as “Miscellaneous Research” on the movie’s budget, gaining the syndicate a tax break. Evidently this loophole was never closed, and the strip is kept in reruns in order to avoid having to pay a few hundred bucks more in taxes per year.

    MW: What happens next: Jim confesses his icky, icky love for Dawn, flings his mighty arm skywards to declare it to the heavens, and topples off the pier. Paralyzed by flashbacks and possessing only one arm, he is unable to swim to safety and drowns tragically, right in front of Dawn, who is traumatized and wracked with guilt. “Oh, if only I hadn’t drawn him to the water!” she moans. “Dave used to drown like that…*sigh* Life is brutal.”

    And somewhere deep in the bowels of Charterstone, Mary observes the feed from Satellite Spy-Cam #14, and smiles.

  112. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 4th, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    While many holiday charitable events are worthy of our attendance, here’s one that Baka Gaijin should avoid, the Dallas Children’s Medical Center Holiday Parade.

  113. AhClem
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Three questions about today’s LuAnn:
    1) Do people have phone sex using Skype?
    2) Are LuAnn and Quill having phone sex using Skype?
    3) Is there enough brain bleach in the galaxy to permanently remove that image from my brain?

  114. Snarkotix Addict
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    MW – What is Jim self-medicating with?
    Stem cells and bovine growth hormone. He scored some cheap at the slaughterhouse.
    Good news: He’s grown an appendage.
    Bad news: It has a hoof.

  115. Snuggs
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    That Frenchman’s lucky to be getting the firing squad, frankly. The other option was to light the giant cigar he’s tied to.

  116. Señor Tortilla
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t seen Spider-Man in at least two weeks, and it looks like I missed nothing.

  117. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#113): I can answer the 1st question — YES, though it seems that certain naked men have trouble typing in the correct Skype number with just their left hand.

  118. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#60):

    we get that these myth-based entities are subject to some laws whereby they are conjured around between different realms, but that alone is not a narrative

    Yes, but what makes it a narrative is that the female myth-based entities are sexxxx-ay myth-based entities who insist in lounging around in fetish wear!

    Still not a narrative? What if the females were also clones of every other McEldowney female character – oversexed, no-body-fat, painfully narcissistic dominatrixes! Is it a narrative yet?

    No? Do you still care? Or are you lost in the fairy porn and willing to accept that there is no narrative, just excuses to pose the characters in various situations? What if I throw in a Seth-Genie to represent asexual male authority, and a few nebbishes for the females to dominate?

  119. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Luann-Her parents are upset that more sounds of joy are coming from her room than theirs during their entire marriage.

  120. Shrug, Wage Slave
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Elk Meadow (#191):

    “And Luann has a job, which seems to have been dropped from the story line.”

    She does? If you mean the kiddie library gig, I thought that was volunteer work.

    /// And even if it is not, libraries are not rich enough or dumb enough to pay very much for the skills of a Luann. Why, even those of us (ahem) slightly higher on the chain of atleastI’mnotLuann-iness do not get paid JUDGE PARKER-level salaries, as we so obviously richly deserve.

    //// I’d settle for REX MORGAN-level.

  121. Bootsy
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

  122. annieLurk
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#106):
    Jive, I reminder those polio fear times well. What really freaked me out were the photos of the “iron lung.” Those pics give me nightmares to this day.

  123. Dale
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#98):

    Can you have MARK TRAIL say that in Hank Hill’s voice?

  124. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    MT — I griped earlier about the “shark-infested water” line, but probably I should just be grateful they haven’t been catching the sharks and finning them. Cutting-edge conservation the daily strip ain’t.

  125. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#121): it’s Arctic cousin is pretty fine too. :-)

  126. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#13): Yes. I’d rather watch the characters eating or sleeping or doing laundry or cleaning the cat litter for a solid week, just for the change, but no such luck.

  127. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Justin (#21):

    Is it truly awkward or is it the will of the people?

  128. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Archie: I sure am glad Moose prefaces everything he says with “Duh-h,” or else I might not notice that everything he says and does is stupid.

    MT: As unlikely as it is that a drug kingpin’s kidnapping victim would be given the run of the island, access to nubile bikini babes, and a cordial, private fishing trip with the kidnapper himself, what will cause me to call bullshit on this storyline is when Mark gets back to shore and everyone believes without question that the event depicted here actually happened.

    One-Eyed Sailor: Transcribed here, without comment, the dialogue from today’s strip:
    Jib Jab: Reach fer yer gun… We gunslingers always give city boys the first draw… It’s the Western way!
    Popeye: It wouldn’t be a fair fight… I yam bigger than you!
    Jib Jab: YEAH! A bigger target! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!

  129. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#118): Thanks for catching me up on PIBGORN! I haven’t read it for many months and apparently nothing has changed.

  130. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @The Spectacular Spider-Brick (#128): re Popeye, BWAHAHA! Thanks, I needed that.

  131. Dood
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Crock: This is a business allegory when the firing squad discovers there’s no one to execute. “Who Moved the Schmeese?” they will wonder.

  132. Cloudbuster
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#65): MT — Who didn’t see that coming? Anybody? Anybody?

    You know, I really didn’t. Like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football, I should know better. After armed bank robbers so stupid they accidentally surrender themselves to unarmed strangers, I should know what to expect. But no, I really didn’t think Otto would be knocked overboard by his own maneuver, the maneuver he was prepared for, while he’s holding onto the wheel, sheltered by the windshield and standing between the seats. God help me, Mark Trail beat me again.

  133. Government Cheese
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been off the Curmudgeon radar for a while, as I have not been reading the comics, but wow I missed some things.

    Luann: So Luann is dating Quill now? And what in the world is she doing to her computer that late at night? Mr. DeGroot is going to need a steady supply of smelling salts.

    MW: Ok, so I think there should be some more attention given to the fact that the GUY HAD HIS ARM BACK YESTERDAY. They should change the name of this strip from “Mary Worth” to “Phoning it in”.

  134. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#76):
    He might be an evil twin. As far as we know, he’s only mentioned his sister and no other relatives.

    This “Jim” has an extra arm and a pelt of chest hair. Oh. And, don’t forget that look of savior faire in his Fabio-like posing as the sea breeze embrace both he and Dawn.

    The sea breeze. The sea breeze of cold death.

  135. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#67):

    That would take years of comic strips to re-enact! Years!

  136. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#77): Red, that mashup is hilarious! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!

  137. Peanut Gallery
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @bag once or twice a day (#Y201):

    advanced Senuke blast… all related with your backlinks

    This spam is for some kind of colonic irrigation thing, isn’t it?

    @hobo bag article rss (#Y210):

    This is my earliest time i afflict here. I base so tons absorbing baggage inside your blog

    I knew it!

  138. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#99): Funny stuff, bats :[! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!

  139. Mikey
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#77): That is so awesome! Arribba!

  140. Ned Ryerson
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#137): Warning, if you plan to get an advanced Senuke blast, you’d be well advised to have your hobo bag at the ready!

  141. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#137): The idea that these ridiculous spammers think their incoherent, bot-generated comments would ever work makes me laugh.

    HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH!! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH! HEH!

  142. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#133): Phoning It In would also be a good name for a strip that mashes-up/parodies/satirizes long-running soapers with barely veiled knock-off characters, i.e., Mary Wroth, Mark Snail, Judge Pork’er, Margo McAfee, Gil Twerp, etc. all sloppily woven into one universe. Stories would feature aimless and meandering with arbitrary plot developments, lazy resolutions, sudden shifts in tone and setting, inconsistent artwork, and morally/socially dubious takeaway lessons — basically, what bats :[ does, so never mind.

  143. debussy fields
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MT– What will happen tomorrow (or, more likely, over the next many days): Mark will pull Otto to safety just as a hungry shark gets oh-so-close. And a pelican will be flying past in the foreground.

  144. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#134): Judging from the apparent ratio of estrogen to testosterone in twin-Jim’s face, he may not have lost an arm in the ferry crash, but he likely lost something else.

  145. Peanut Gallery
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    MT – Yet more evidence for boojum’s theory about Mark Trail. This time, I picture the three-year-old acting out the story with dolls. “But Otto falls in instead! Sploosh! Uh-oh, here comes the shark! DUM dum DUM dum DUM dum…”

  146. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#143): Mark will pull Otto to safety just as a hungry shark gets oh-so-close. And a pelican will be flying past in the foreground.

    You mean a giant pelican, I assume? Otherwise, the whole narrative just makes no sense!

  147. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#7) on Crock: Mimes are almost EVILSCARYCLOWNS therefore I endorse this strip.

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#61): Salmon squares and pure white pie. Jim self medicates with salmon squares and pure white pie.

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#112): AAAAAHHH! [does a Rusty] [QLUNQ] gets run over by a 1974 AMC Ambassador. Seriously, are they trying to generate more business for their mental health unit?

  148. Government Cheese
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#142): I snorted out loud at the names Mary Wroth and Margo McAfee.

  149. Mikey
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    For the creators of the great MW and MT mashups today here is a link to one of the best Trail mashups ever from a few years ago….bunch of other good ones too

    http://tokyosun.blogspot.com/2010/03/super-start-nature-punchman-go-in-epic.html

  150. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    “But there’s an attraction,” Greg says. I’m guessing Coney Island. Margo Magee has Coney Island tattooed on her bikini area.

  151. Shrug, Supplying an Auxilliary Pun
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#55):

    “Never WAVE at a WAF or she will WAC you.”

    A new joke to me, but I’m sure our UK ‘mudges heard it way back WREN.

  152. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#150): Tunnel of Love — or Chamber of Horrors?

  153. Shrug, Hitting Below the Belt
    December 4th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#76):

    “Can’t be Jim’s evil twin. He doesn’t have a beard.”

    Not on his face, anyway.

  154. Shrug, Chiming in With a False Note
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#92):

    “Luann – Actually, this is the optimum scenario for your teen son/daughter: no matter what they’re doing, there won’t be any children conceived from it. ”

    There may, however, be more unbearable alleged “musical” numbers conceived from it. Topic for discussion: Which would be more unbearable in the family — an illegitimate half-marsupial grandchild, or a follow-up to “I’m a Snot,” with Crocodile Dundee singing harmony with Luann?

  155. Dr. Weird
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#133):

    Luann: So Luann is dating Quill now? And what in the world is she doing to her computer that late at night? Mr. DeGroot is going to need a steady supply of smelling salts.

    After deciding not to get involved with Quill for fear he could have to go back to Australia at any time, Luann changed her mind and decided to get involved with Quill. Then he had to go back to Australia.

    There was some drama about a letter she wrote confessing her love being mailed or not (with Toni Daytona taking a great interest in the relationship) and now they’ve just started talking via Skype. And maybe having cybersex, hard to say.

    What I find interesting is that Nancy seems to care about Luann’s activities… when the little troll Elwood tried to buy her affection and proposed marriage to her (to her parents!), she didn’t seem that interested, certainly not compared with how she deals with her adult son’s relationship with a woman.

  156. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#152): I’ll never tell!

  157. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#143):

    A pelican? I would say a deer commenting on the scene.

  158. Shrug, Dustin Off Another Bad Joke
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#110):

    Of course, the advice Benjamin was given at his graduation party would be not “Plastics!” but “Weinies!”

  159. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    MW-That’s it. Just keep dragging the story out while you are still writing the epic meeting between Jim and Mary Worth where Mary tells Jim how to get Dawn.

    MW 2-Does this mean that Jim is finally over Merry and won’t have Dawn dress up in her clothes just so he can get an erection in her presence?

  160. Charterstoned
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    MW – Is this pier supposed to be in Bodega Bay or something? Between all the birds and the rope in today’s strip, Dawn should maybe be looking to see where Alfred Hitchcock appears in the picture. Unless that’s Jim’s way of introducing the topic of bondage into the conversation.

  161. Matt
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Ahh, I don’t get the joke in Crock. He’s standing there but hasn’t heard that he’s about to get shot? Is that it? Seriously, I’m too dumb to get this.

  162. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    MW — If the ear can be rounded, the noses can be rounded. Pointed noses are creepy.

  163. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Liberty Meadows-Brandy doing leg splits while jumping that’s called fanservice.

  164. cheech wizard
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Don’t know if anyone’s mentioned it, but the Detroit Free Press is censoring Doonesbury this week – again. I guess they think people will be offended by a story about a bumbling ex-dictator hatching an inept plan to return to power. So instead we get a Red Rascal replay.

    There was a time when the Free Press would call out other papers that censored cartoonist’s work for being edgy or controversial. Now, they are one of the worst offenders around. And this stuff isn’t even edgy.

  165. Government Cheese
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#155): When you refer to Elwood as a “little troll”, I’m not sure how little he is since I always figured he was a 40 year old perv just lingering around the high school. Mr. Fogarty and his wench are too oblivious to notice.

  166. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#134): Savior faire? Is that like sexy Jesus?

  167. Mary Ellen
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    Wait wait wait… did Jim somehow grow a new arm?!

  168. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#164): Any explanation that you can find? My Google-fu is failing me on this one, other than (1) DFP is supposedly “liberal”-minded, and (2) DFP has done this in the past.

  169. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#164): Oh, and I had assumed the Trff strip was a rerun, anyhow.

  170. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#164):

    That’s surprising. It feels like this storyline is a rerun.

  171. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    MW-I knew I would find you here since you stopped going to the park because Dave used to take you in the park’s bushes and that brings up bad memories for you.

  172. Shrug, Gobsmacked
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#170):

    It’s not a rerun:

    (a) I’m a non-ironic DOONESBURY fan with an excellent memory for their strips; and

    (b) my dead tree paper (the Minneapolis STAR TRIBUNE) is surprisingly conscientious about flagging reruns (with a little “creator is on vacation” explanation), and did not flag this one, though they did do so for two other strips in this morning’s paper which are currently in reruns. (I think GET FUZZY was one and I forget the other; I’m at work and the paper is at home.)

    That said, I’m still gobsmacked at the idea that any US newspaper would find the current week’s story arc so controversial that they’d censor it. Does Detroit have a large Berserkian loyalists in exile population in Little Trfftown or something?

    If anything I’d have thought the Red Rascal nonsense plots would be more objectionable. . . .

  173. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

  174. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#166):

    Did I need to explain that?

    Ya dang right it is!

    As far as we know Jim’s left arm came back from the briny deep and he’s gonna transform Dawn into his sister–through some sort of Lazarusification process.

    //spellcheck didn’t call me on “savior faire” so I let it stand. yes, I should have consulted a dictionary….wait….yeah. I spelled it wrong?. Weird. I just checked the computer’s dictionary and it auto-corrected my misspelling and gave me the definition of the correctly spelled phrase.

    Computer! Why you goin’ and makin’ me look like a comedian?

  175. SemiSentientSpambot
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

  176. Dr. Weird
    December 4th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#165):

    Which do you think is more likely, that he’s 40 year old man that infiltrated a high school as a student under the noses of the faculty for the sole purpose of hitting on girls, or that he’s a teenage multimillionaire game designer whose property was adapted into a big budget motion picture who woos girls with conspicuous consumption while not showing up on Google at all?

  177. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gobsmacked (#172):

    It seems like a rerun to me because all the recent Duke stories with whats his face seem the same to me.

  178. Alison
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: I would like it if the next week is spent with Jim lovingly telling Dawn how much he missed her and how he has now overcome his phobia of walking the pier due to her, and other kissy-kissy mush. And then Dawn can finally respond by saying: “JIM! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GROW YOUR ARM BACK?! OH MY GOD!”

  179. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    MT: A wave large enough to wrench Otto from his hard grip on the steering wheel, throwing him through the side window and hoisting his legs out from between the pilot seat and the steering wheel up over the side and into the water – yet small enough to leave Mark, who is exposed in the back and no longer bracing against anything standing in the boat? Sounds like a TV Trope.

    I don’t know what it would be called, but it’s when a Disney movie makes the villian so idiotic as to force their own doom, so the hero doesn’t have to sully himself with actually killing anyone. Like when Cruella DeVil drove herself off a cliff. Like when Gaston fell off the roof in Beauty and the Beast. When Syndrome’s cape got sucked into the jet engine in The Incredibles. That sort of thing. Mark will “try” to save Otto. “Otto, grab my hand! I’m not deliberately holding it three inches out of your reach! Yawn. You must swim to me!”

  180. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#35): The handy thing is that he can have the same blowup doll stand in for his sister.

  181. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#44):

    9 – With these camera angles, it can only be… the 60s Batman TV show! Stand by for “BIFF!” “BAM!” “POW!” action!

    I expect it to be more along the lines of “ZIP!” “THRUST!” “OOPS!”

  182. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Matt (#161): Yes, that’s about it. Were you expecting clever wordplay? Slapstick pratfalls? Edgy subtlety? This is CROCK.

  183. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#83): It’s not an either/or. They believe in diversifying.

  184. Government Cheese
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Dr. Weird (#176): Either is plausible. However, I think at this rate, all the high school students must be 40 since they have never graduated (they have only changed shirt or hairstyles).

  185. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#131): I’d almost like to see the French Revolution version of your allegory, where they replace the firing squad with the guillotine: Who Cut The Schmeese??

  186. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#183): At first, I thought you were responding to this comment.

  187. sully
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Please don’t take this as a complaint. Okay, it’s kind of a complaint, but delivered respectfully… Why does the Comics Curmudgeon basically deal with the same strips all the time? Honestly, aside from the horror of Mary Worth, Marmaduke, Mark Trail, Apt. 3-G, Spider-snooze, Crankshaft and that other downer by the same hack, there are SO many other miserable excuses for comics strips out there. Take a run at Mutts, or Sherman’s Lagoon, or Adam @ Home, or Chuckle Bros. (if you don’t even know what Chuckle Bros. is, consider yourself lucky), or any of the other disasters that waste ink and newsprint daily. Spread the snark!

  188. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gobsmacked (#172): They put Doones, Get Fuzzy and PBS all in the same corner of my paper. I’ll be darned if one of them isn’t always on vacation or censored for the week.

  189. Mutton-chopped Shrug, Going Glub, Glub
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Sharks do not frighten Mark Trail, but he thinks twice about diving into Otto-infested waters. The only things that creep him out more than sideburns are soggy sideburns.

  190. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Chiming in With a False Note (#154): Mr. DeGroot doesn’t want to find a video of Luann spreading vegemite over her naked body on Youtube. When he’s trolling for other underage chicks smearing food over their naked bodies.

  191. demoncat
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    mw see dawn proof we are ment to be together for i am even willing to meet you at the one place that has bitter memories for me proof we belong together .

  192. hogenmogen
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187): We used to mock on TDIET, and then the artist died. We used to mock on FBOFW, and then the artist retired. We used to mock on Crock, and then the artist died. Hank Ketcham knew to die in advance of any mockery, but DTM still gets beaten on daily.

  193. Mysterious shirtless lawyer
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    I for one think there’s still a chance that we’ll see Jim steering his car with his nub while swigging Johnny Red from the bottle with his drinking hand, meeting the same fate as Aldo, all because Dawn refused to give him a blow job.

  194. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187): OK, I’ll start.

    “Good Lord, this is unbelievably lame. Is there anything even remotely approaching a punch line here? How in the world could any human being, anywhere, find this stuff the least bit interesting, much less humorous???”

    Now all I need to do is write a shell script to post that comment every day for the next five years, and we shall have said pretty much all that needs to be said about Fred Bassett.

  195. Sgt. Stoned
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    MT: Are you sure it isn’t whale infested waters?

    DTM: Yeah, 14 whole cents. Don’t spend in all in the same place, Dennis.

  196. Chip Whittle
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#192):

    We used to mock on TDIET, and then the artist died. We used to mock on FBOFW, and then the artist retired. We used to mock on Crock, and then the artist died.

    And for some reason Josh relies on Paypal donations instead of blackmailing King Features Syndicate.

  197. cheech wizard
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gobsmacked (#172): I’m still gobsmacked at the idea that any US newspaper would find the current week’s story arc so controversial that they’d censor it. Does Detroit have a large Berserkian loyalists in exile population in Little Trfftown or something?

    No, but they do have a large Middle Eastern population in Dearborn. However, I think the underlying issue is that the Freep has adopted a pretty rigid rulebook for what it allows in its comics, particularly in regard to ethnic portrayals and making light of violence, particularly gun violence. I suspect the bit about impaling the current Berserkian president on the dome of a mosque may have been deemed offensive, though we’ll have to see how the rest of the week plays out.

  198. Inkwell
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Today, Karen Moy tells every traumatized individual that they could get over their PTSD if they loved hard enough.

    Tomorrow, Karen Moy is killed by a mob of therapy patients.

  199. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#190): Or maybe Mr. DeGroot doesn’t want to log onto the family computer and see a photo that Luann accidentally left there of her boyfriend showing off his Quill. If you do find such a photo, Mr. DeGroot, just be sure to forward it to TJ before deleting it.

  200. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#99):

    The red blob in the middle of panel 7 is a nice touch!

  201. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

  202. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#78):

    JP: Climate change and rising sea levels are paltry concerns for the Parkers. What, did you think this was the only planet where they owned valuable property?

    COTW Worthy!

  203. Dr. P and the Women
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    New arm? Jim’s been experimenting with lizard DNA, Dawn! Run for your life, you obviously can’t expect Newspaper Spider-Man to save you!

  204. Baka Gaijin
    December 4th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187): I try to rip on Pluggers. There’s only so many things you can say about lazy fat slovenly diseased proud-to-be-ignorant manbeasts before it gets boring. Like today’s strip. I’ve not seen a remote control keyboard that feels like cell phone keyboards and they damn sure don’t feel like smartphone screens. I can only surmise BigCatman’s lost feeling in his hands from diabetic neuropathy. That’s pathetic, not snarkworthy.

    I would have laughed if it were a tin of sardines instead of the cell phone and his grandkittens were in the background snickering up their sleeves.

  205. seismic-2
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187): Also, it’s really unnecessary to snark at each one of the Walker-Browne strips and each one of the Parker-Hart strips, since there is so much sameness in each company’s output. On the W-B side Josh tends to spread the snark pretty evenly among BB, H&L, and HtH, but on the P-H side he perhaps says a bit less about BC and WoI than he does about Crock, since that strip is in its own special category of awfulness.

  206. Droopy Says
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    I’m still waiting for Mark Trail to make its usual exit from reality. Yes, I’m convinced that Trail will rescue Otto, who in turn will give up his bad hair and unpancakey ways–but what has happened to Elrod’s usual creativity, with the trained bears and blind hunting dogs and caches of stolen antique Magnavoxes? Is there any hope that the villainous sharks will be attacked by a pod of dolphins, tearing into them like a flight of Sopwith Camels attacking the Flying Circus? With laser beams shooting out of their eyes? That would be so cool! And . . . uh . . . never mind. I just can’t think of anything weird enough to match Classic Elrod.

  207. Alison
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187):
    Oooh, I try to snark on “Adam @ Home”! That’s one of the worst things on the comics page IMO.

    I’ve found that most (all?) the strips featured on this site have one thing in common which is that pretty much everyone here loathes them. I mean occasionally you’ll get someone saying “Damn, ‘Crankshaft’ was actually kind of funny today’” but that’s about it. Some of the other strips are a bit trickier. For example, I do not like “One Big Happy” (oh look, Ruthie made another stupid pun, and her grandfather is senile and says nonsensical things!) but it seems a lot of people like it. I’ve found the same with “Sally Forth” (which bugs me because the artist cannot seem to draw a single expression other than “incredibly smug smile” or “bewildered open mouth”).

    I’m not trying to speak for Josh but my guess is that the comics that are featured here the most are the ones everyone can agree really blow goats.

  208. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Jim has been self-medicating with Mary Worth and she is far more potent than any alcohol or drugs you can buy on the street corner.

  209. Jamus The Bartender
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Luann: “You can’t be doing this, Luann. I don’t like that there’s a boy in your room. Did you show him your cooch? GODDAMMIT, WHERE’S MY SHOTGUN? I’ll blow this teevee/record player straight to hell. You better not have showed him your cooch!! Wife, call the pastor!!”

    Sally Forth: People on the east coast are still without power, and Hil is flying first class to see, admittedly awful relatives, but shit could be a whole lot worse, Joan Of Arc. A whole lot.

    Dick Tracy: I know why Broadway/Penguin’s “brother’ is in Dick Tracy. Things in the DC Universe have been a f*cking MESS ever since the “New 52″ Universe was instituted. The comics are good, but they’re asking us to believe Batman had FOUR boy companions in five years. Dick Tracy seems downright sensible compared to that.

    Funky Winkerbean:Hm, yeah, speaking of which….right with ya there Crazy.

    Rex Morgan: Sad now. Wanna see lots of lapdancing.

  210. Jamus The Bartender
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187): You’ve got a fair complaint, Sully. I’ll look into that.

  211. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @sully (#187):

    Take a run at Mutts…

    If you insist.

    (ahem. koff. coff. AAaaaarooooooggga! Rutabaga, Rutabaga! Snark, Snark, Snark!*)

    After that corrective eye surgery, Popeye sure has let himself go. Now he wanders around his houseboat envying his cat.

    *the rallying cry for rooting against the visiting team…in 1930s Blondie-era America.

  212. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Animal Cracker

    Is that a joke about the rock band, The Guess Who?

    (it should be duly noted that I never bothered to consider whether the band is/was real or not.)

    Suffice it to say, the cartoon makes no sense whatsoever: a bearded fish bites the water end of a periscope and says, “Guess Who?”

    Why does the fish have a beard? How can it talk underwater with its mouth full of scope (I’ve tried before and it gets messy; same deal with listerine).

  213. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    broom-hilda

    That’s funny.

    Hazel

    I got mixed feelings about this one.

    One, I didn’t know it was still being made. However,unlike some legacy strips, the original artist is still making it and if I do my math right…

    Ted Key has been doing it for 69 years. By himself.

    But, in looking at the ad I got on the page, it is one of those strips that brings up obituaries. Only certain comics result in those being brought up.

    Which makes me a bit skittish about digging through Hazel’s archives–if you know what I’m saying (i don’t).

    I figure if I do it for too long, I’ll start getting ads that say, “So, you are a ghost. Have you considered After-Life Insurance? Howl for a rate quote”

    But, hey, one guy making a comic strip for almost 70 years. That’s impressive.

    Speaking of which, and I don’t mean to be excessively morose, nor do I even mean to be slightly morose.

    Jeff Millar, who did Tank McNamara passed away. Apparently, Jerry Seinfeld was a fan. (in a past life, I believe I was a windmill)

    Man, this is a death strewn comment. I’m trying to add levity. But, lemon and lemonade…..

    If Josh wanted to he could begin the long overdue celebration of 70 Years of Hazel! (you know, apparently, it was made into a TV show?)

  214. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    Dear Luann’s parents: here’s a very simple solution for you. Move the household wi-fi router into your bedroom. When you go to bed, turn it off. Done.

  215. Dale
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Otto:

    Trail! I’m glad you are alive. While you were fighting the mighty TARPON, I swerved the boat to avoid the attacking great white shark. It was just like in the famous American documentary Jaws. You must have seen it. Perhaps you know the writers.
    Now, shall we take off our wet clothes and continue our fishing contest, or call it a day?

  216. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Gobsmacked (#172):

    (I think GET FUZZY was one and I forget the other; I’m at work and the paper is at home.)

     
    The other one is “Heart of the City”
     
     

  217. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    So I was looking at the Darkgate Comic Slurper and feeling in a good mood I decided that after not looking at it for several weeks I would dial up Zippy the Pinhead. It started off fine with a ’57 Plymouth Fury. Suddenly, Dingburg was mentioned. “Unsubscribe” was pressed.

    That’ll teach me to have a good mood.

  218. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    SM – I see that Mary Jane changed out of that boobalicious outfit she was wearing on Sunday to some boring old mom clothes sometime during the phone call. What’s up with that?!

  219. Jamus The Bartender
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Okay, here’s some comments on comic strips I hardly ever look at.

    Mutts:
    What it’s about: It seems to be about this cat who takes this old guy’s chair, leaving him out in the cold.
    Good points: The art seems to be a cross between Segar of Popeye fame, and George Herriman from Krazy Kat.
    Bad points: The writer misspelled “school”. I forget to use spellcheck, too, but if I were getting paid for this, i’d remember real fast.
    Snark factor: Moderate. It’s an old guy with his selfish cat. It’s been done everywhere, in Garfield, Heathcliff, Slylock Fox occasionally, and the late, great My Cage.
    Geek factor: Are the characters into superheroes or pop culture? It’s kind of hard to tell here, but like I say, the art resembles old thirties Popeye, so that’s not a bad thing.
    Sex factor: Unless the cat gets off the sofa to get his freak on, slim and none, i’m afraid.
    How to involve Cassandra Cat in this: She could maybe steal the old guy’s furniture, but apart from that, i’ve got nothing.

    Sherman’s Lagoon
    What it’s about: It seems to be about these two sharks that eat people. A cruise ship is also involved.
    Good points: The pacing kind of reminds me of early Berke Breathed’s run on Bloom County. It’s not matching the manic pace of that excellent strip, however.
    Bad points. In today’s strip, the ship’s captain is too dumb to tell real sharks from rubber ones. Nice work, Captain Ahab.
    Snark factor: Not so much. Finding Nemo and Aquaman proved you can do amazing things with underwater strips, but this kind of falls flat. It’s not even “so bad it’s good” territory. Just boring.
    Sex factor: Well, the cruise ship factor should open the doors to this sort of thing, but the artist doesn’t appear to be able to draw sexy ladies.
    Geek Factor: Aquaman’s too A list these days to drop by for a visit. Maybe Aqualad instead.
    How to involve Cassandra Cat in this: There are possibilities. A heist from the cruise ship involving the dumb sharks, and also the kitty stickeyfingers is afraid of water, but it would never reach the coolness of the time she worked with the My Cage office.

    Adam@Home
    What it’s about: Yeah, I remember this one. It used to be called just “Adam”, and it was about a stay at home unemployed dad who watched his kids while Mom was at work. Now it seems Adam works from his home office doing…something that involves lots of late night delivery trucks and drinking lots of coffee. Maybe he’s running drugs and or guns.
    Good points: The art is kind of meh. But, it seems Adam has put on a pound or five since the eighties, which is very plausible, showing how the characters age.
    Bad points: In today’s strip, he brags about doing his Xmas shopping online while the kid bemoans not being able to see Santa. In response, Adam decides to get the pictures from last year, while a raincloud falls on the kid. The kid seems way too old to believe in Kris Kringle, not to mention the “raincloud” effect we see here. That should have went out with Andy Capp.
    Snark Factor: There would be a lot in terms of art and lack of plot were it not for the fact that this is about a dad who watches his kids and runs a business at the same time while the wife is working. We are Curmudgeons. We are not cruel bastards.
    Sex Factor: A little. Were the art better, i’d love to see Adam’s naughty neighbors at the local Starbucks or hanging laundry, but it’d have to improve a lot.
    Geek Factor: Plenty. Kids love superheroes, Star Wars, Dr. Who, all that stuff. So do guys who work at home, otherwise, what’s the point, right?
    Can Cass get involved?: Surely. Not sure what it is Adam does, but it seems to involve a lot of late night trackings of trucks and such, which is ripe material for the resident Kitty of Klepto.

    Chuckle Bros.
    What it’s about: Well, the “bros” seem to be the writer and artist, and I had to look at various strips to see what it was about. Okay, you know those little intermittent “in-between” sketches Seth McFarlane does on Family Guy? Even he wouldn’t do some of this shit.
    Good points: It’s a very neat comic strip. Nice linework.
    Bad points: It’s not funny. At all. One strip showed a speeder stopped by a cop who said he had some “overdue library books” and to “step out of the car”. That shit ain’t funny, as someone who once had collection agents after his ass just because he forgot to return a “Stories Of Palomar” collection.
    Snark Factor: Plenty, but it’s way too painful to work through. I had to stop at three strips.
    Sex Factor: I don’t even want to think about it.
    Geek Factor: A lot. Today’s strip featured Luke Skywalker cutting lumber with his lightsaber and running “Skywalker Subcontracting”, according to his truck. This seemed to be a part of a “Where Are They Now” series. Disney should sue. Hard.
    What does Cassandra think?: Cass would rather collect unemployment.

    I’ll look at some other strips later.

  220. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#213):

    (in a past life, I believe I was a windmill)

    I bet you gave Don Quixote a run for his money.

  221. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#219): Dammit, Jamus. You made me read Adam@Home.

    Good analysis on those comics, by the way.

  222. The Ridger
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#219): He didn’t misspell “school” – the cat has a speech defect. Why? I have no idea. But all his S’s are SH’s.

  223. The Ridger
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: See, Jim? Dawn didn’t even notice you got a new arm! It really wasn’t that. She’s just a horrible, horrible person.

  224. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    Ooh! Ooh! It’s Ripley’s!

    ALLAMA IQBAL OPEN UNIVERSITY in Islamabad, Pakistan, has a student enrollment of more then 1.8 million!

    And they all have to take Freshman English under Les Moore.

    Pakistan is not a third world country but they’re working on it.

  225. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#209):

    The comics are good, but they’re asking us to believe Batman had FOUR boy companions in five years.

    Talk about loving ‘em and leaving ‘em.

  226. Jamus The Bartender
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#221): Thanks :)
    @Ridger. Thanks for pointing that out. That’ll teach me to read more than one strip. Honestly, Mutts seems to be the best of the bunch.

  227. MWDG
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: Ways to end this storyline…

    ***Jim holds up his sister’s and Mary’s decapitated heads, Dawn laughs and they “make love” on the pier.
    ***Jim rips Dawn’s head right off her neck then “makes love” to her headless body while Dr. Jeff Corey watches through binoculers while pleasuring himself.
    ***The third panel is a shot that pans back and we see full body pics of Jim and Dawn and they both have grown tails.

  228. bats :[
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#149): I miss Tokyo Sun! Hah! Hah!, too.

  229. This Guy
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Crock features special guest writer Dr. Amy Wong. Shmeesh!

    FW: I’m not sure a stack is the best option here. If you want to make rational selling decisions, a linked list of some kind is probably a good call.

    // Also, he needs money, so he decides to sell the ones that are worth cover price or less? Great strategy, Napoleon.

    NS: Lit-fic snob.

    S-M: It’s sort of like Columbo or Monk–the suspense lies not in learning whodunnit, but in seeing whether Spidey will stop watching TV long enough to do anything.

    @wossname (#38): Oh, the hedgehog can never be buggered at all…

  230. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#150):

    “But there’s an attraction,” Greg says. I’m guessing Coney Island. Margo Magee has Coney Island tattooed on her bikini area.

    And here’s the tattoo!

  231. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @MWDG (#227):

    “***The third panel is a shot that pans back and we see full body pics of Jim and Dawn and they both have grown groin tails.”

    Fixed it for ya.

  232. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

  233. Liam
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    MW-Watch out, Dawn, Jim’s still crazy. Sure he has a new arm but he still thinks your Merry.

  234. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#209): I am not available for that wedding, shotgun or not.

  235. Jamus The Bartender
    December 4th, 2012 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#234): Word. I like a trainwreck as much as the next guy, but that’s WAY too much.

  236. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#234): Oh, I don’t know. You’d be paid in DeGroot loot and you’d get to kiss the bride!

    Wait a sec. Let me rethink this.

  237. This Guy
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#236): DeGroot Loot? Have they started making their own currency? Are you sure you’re not confusing them with the Keane Klan?

  238. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#237): No… they use Keane Koins.

  239. Poteet
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#232): They’ll Do It Every Time.

  240. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

  241. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#142): Speaking of phoning it in

    @Shrug, Supplying an Auxilliary Pun (#151): It reminds me of one of the jokes from Rationale of the Dirty Joke, where a soldier is trying to get a pass to go home to his wife. It’s been a year and a half! “But surely,” says the Sergeant, “you can get, you know, some relief here, with all these WACs and WAVEs and nurses…” “Oh, Sarge,” the man says, “For eighteen months I’ve been whacking it and waving it around and nursing it along! I just want to go home and have an honorable discharge.”

  242. Peanut Gallery
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#47):

    Would you like them in a pagoda?
    Would you like them with Ramune soda?

    Would you eat them in Hanoi?
    Would you eat them with a koi?

    Would you, could you, on a junk?
    Could you, with a Buddhist monk?

  243. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

  244. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    a sneak peek at tomorrow’s Mark Trail.

    a sneak peek at Luann’s only decent couple, +35 years.

  245. Peanut Gallery
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

  246. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#243): why thank you!

    sometimes, you just feel like a cover version instead of the original. ;-)

    *wraps up like a duece, and takes a runner into the night*

  247. I speak Jive
    December 4th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#207): There are only a few strips that I truly loathe. Funky Winkerbean and 9 CL are the two I despise the most, mainly because their characters are so easy to detest and impossible to care about. I actually feel some affection for MW and Mark Trail, although both tend to go into idiot territory. Maybe that is part of their charm, or maybe it’s because I have been following them for ages. I have contempt for A3G, because the artist is doing the artist version of phoning it in, and FBOFW, because Lynn has milked it too, too long.

    @The Ridger (#222): Except for the other day, when he pronounced “sit” correctly.

    That cat’s speech impediment is one of my pet peeves. Not a major one, but it’s on the list.

  248. billman
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#222):

    I’ve always assumed Mooch’s speech impediment was due to his fangs, or maybe it’s a reference to Sylvester from Looney Tunes’ lisp (which i believe was due to his fangs as well and makes more sense). However, that said, i have actually seen him insert an ‘sh’ into words without any ‘s’ sounds at all.

  249. I speak Jive
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#247): And probably the biggest reason I loathe FW and 9CL is that their creators have an overinflated sense of their own genius. I don’t see this in the other strips.

  250. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#246): Thanks for not saying “douche”.

  251. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#245):

    For a split second, I expected to see to see Elvis is Everywhere

    Don’t get me wrong. I am not disappointed. That mouse is entrancing, with his logger’s hat and a tutu.

  252. Calico
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#88):
    Aja? : )
    In any case, props!

  253. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    @billman (#248): However, that said, i have actually seen him insert an ‘sh’ into words without any ‘s’ sounds at all.
    Much the same way Mr. Magoo’s Chinese servant used to call him “Magloo.”

    For that matter, it’s like how my friend and I used to call the screen of Japanese characters that used to come up before a movie we were watching on tape “the FBR warning.”

  254. un malpaso
    December 4th, 2012 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Looks like I’m late to the pier, but if I know one-armed loners, I’ll bet that Jim has been getting high on Santa Catalina Cyan. It’s a mutant strain, well known since the 60s for its tendency to send blond innocent Californian boys to Manson-land with just one puff. Enjoy your holiday with the Family, Dawn!

  255. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#239): I don’t know that one. I don’t WANT to know that one.

  256. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#236): Oh, HELLS no. Wasn’t DeGroot Loot a short-lived, ill-fated kids’ breakfast cereal in the mid-90′s?

  257. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#256): Made with real Groot!

  258. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#222): @billman (#248): @I speak Jive (#247): Mooch’s lisp is the worst thing about that strip. I’ll forgive the occasional twee-ness, because the strip’s heart generally seems in the right place, but the lisping (or whatever the impediment is) is so. freakin’. annoying, and not endearing or funny as the cartoonist apparently believes.

  259. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#258): It’s like the verbal equivalent of Comic Sans, it is.

  260. Sequitur
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

  261. billman
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#259):

    Yeah, I don’t think it’s called a lisp, that’s usually replacing an ‘s’ with a ‘th’ but I’m not an expert maybe it’s a variation. If you want to drive yourself mad with a lisp try listening to the NFL Network’s Thursday Night Football broadcasts. They have an analyst with such a pronounced lisp i have to watch with the sound off.

  262. tallyHO
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#258):

    I give him a slight pass on the lisp for that animal characters.

    However…

    each and every Mutts that I’ve seen comes across as greeting card humor.

    I think that may be the best way to describe it. Imagine wanting to read a different greeting card everyday. That’s what loyal Mutts readers do.

  263. odinthor
    December 4th, 2012 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#255):

    We snarked a-plenty on TDIET; but we also had a lot of affection for it and the world it lived in. While firmly rooted in the ethos of the 1930s-1950s, it wasn’t a zombie strip at all, but still bright and alive in its niche, attaining an unexpected relevancy at times. Its gracious artist/writer, Al Scaduto, respected his readership, and worked hard at his craft until the end; we at CC respected him such that a floral tribute from CC members to him could be found at his funeral. Cobwebs, little sportscars with big people, bizarre names, “the Urge” . . . Real life still often prompts me to think of him and his work with a smile and appreciation. Here’s Wikipedia’s example of his work:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:TDIET.png

    Thanks, Al! You did it every time!

  264. This Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#258): I think that Mooch has a lateral lisp, much like William Murderface. So just think of him as a smaller, hairier Murderface.

  265. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#264):

    Now, see. I had to look that up. For a moment there I thought you were confusing William Murderface with Bill Killkisser. But, nope. It doesn’t seem like you are.

    //Save yourself some time. There is no Bill Killkisser

  266. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    What the…
    Of all the implausible moments imaginable!

    Wednesday’s Child has Mary Worth still ignoring Jim’s Brand New Appendage.

    //and who among us wouldn’t brag if we got a brand new appendage.
    Third arm for the win!

  267. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3G:

    I couldn’t write this if I tried.

    Greg Cooper will be Margo’s after-lunch dessert, according to the rarely seen doppleganger for Aunt Cathy, Carla the Administrative Assistant.
    For lunch, why that will be Evan at Eleven.

    The only thing shocking about it is that Margo sez Ugh!

    Yet another thing that answers the question as old as carbon copy man, What’s So Special About Margo Magee?

  268. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    Blondie:

    Hold on a second Dagwood! Don’t be showing Santa’s shoulder-slung pastrami to innocent eyes! Oh waitasec. He knew exactly what you were drawing…what you were subconsciously depicting.

    Mark Trail:

    Mark! Quick! Burt Reynolds is drowning! Save that murderin’ bastard!

    Mutts:

    I’m sending this one to a friend who’s under the weather.

    Slylock Fox’s Pop Quiz:

    That’ll teach that Lion that for trying to fly!

    Funkity
    Funkity
    Funkity
    Funk
    Funk
    Funk–buwooow!
    Winkercudda!*

    Lame!
    *apologies to Joan Jett. I doubt it will be the last time I need to though.

  269. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    family circus

    Man, Jeffy’s getting a lot of time with Mommy as of late.

    He’s worse than a suck up, he’s kissin’ envelopes for her!

    Is it worth sending out that many Mutts greetings, Thel? Is a glue tongue for your son worth the effort?

  270. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#269):

    Think about the taste buds, Thel!
    Think about. the. taste buds!*

    *coincidentally, that is a great band name.

  271. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#263): True. I miss it. And I wish the best panels of OUT OUR WAY could have continued long enough to be part of CC as well.

  272. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#262): That’s actually a really good take on it. Red and Rover is the same way.

  273. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — Since Wally claims the reason he can’t take Max to Paris is money (yeah, right, sure! *snork*), Val would be wise to pony up for a ticket for the little darling herself. (And the look on Wally’s face would be priceless, hahaha.) The unfortunate passengers sharing the plane with Max on their way to gay Paree wouldn’t thank her, but I bet her mother would.

  274. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    9CL: And now McE has gone so far in his exploration of the Magical Boinking Power of Mistletoe as to depict flies getting it on for so long that they’re laying and hatching out maggots? Seek help, man, seek help.

    //My husband, upon being shown this offense, remarked in the driest of eye-rolling tones, “Oh, good lord.” It’s impossible to convey the degree of scorn he put into it. (Fully deserved!)

  275. Droopy Says
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Petey, don’t let the news make you angry! That could lead to something dangerous, like getting off the couch.

    Pluggers versus Flunky Whatsa: Okay, who makes the more inane misuse of jargon, the ill-drawn mope-men or the ill-drawn bear-man?

    Phantom: Let’s see. Those trees didn’t look towering when Stripey-Butt started his climb, and I’m unclear on whether or not you can have jungle vines growing in savannah trees. But what the hell. Kit grabs a dangling vine and makes a swing for it, following a downward arc that takes him close to the ground. Meanwhile the big hungry kitty falls a couple of yards, lands on her feet as cats are wont to do, and sees a giant purple chew-toy dangling from a string. Have fun, little kitty!

    Family Circus: Wouldn’t all that licking have glued Jeffy’s mouth shut? Please?

    Mar’ma’duq: Phil Hitler makes his contribution to the field of “Downfall” mash-ups.

    Jugs Parker: So not only has Horny’s family life been retconned, but he’s about to face an enemy uglier and more dangerous than Bubba.

    Mock Trail: If Otto dies from a shark bite, I’m cool with it. I’d like to see Trail return to the Little Island and explain things to Otto’s men. Of course in that case it will turn out that Andy has staged a coup and now runs the gang . . . but what if the power goes to Andy’s head? Will he demand a bigger ransom, or will he setle for making Trail wear the dog collar?

  276. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: So Brooke, day after day, is heaping scorn and disdain on losers who imagine women in sexy outfits and high heels. Self-awareness isn’t his strong suit.

  277. John C Fremont
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:16 am [Reply]

    MW – I knew it! Jim’s a Spandau Ballet fan.

  278. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    JP: Actually, Randy Parker’s Death Wish sounds like one of the best ideas for a comic strip spin-off that I’ve heard in years. It would have fit in beautifully with Eduardo Barreto’s “noir” style too, dammit.

    FC: No, no, Jeffy – you’re supposed to wait for Mommy to write the addresses on all the envelopes, and then you lick them and seal them up before telling her that she can go ahead and write the cards now that you’ve done the hard part.

  279. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    9CL – When I first skimmed today’s strip, all I noticed was Amos standing next to the mistletoe, looking down. I assumed the joke was that Edda was lying on the ground underneath with her legs spread open. Thus, seeing the dialogue about maggots made a lot of sense. Not a “joke”, per se, but definitely a gag.

  280. Peanut Gallery
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#262): The writing in Mutts used to be a lot better. The author ran out of ideas years ago and just kept drawing. But I still like it for the artwork, and occasionally it displays flashes of its former greatness. We don’t snark on it here much, because even if you despise that sort of thing, there’s only so many times you can say, “There goes that bastard drawing cute pictures again! How I hate him!” Whereas, a hilarious train-wreck of incompetence like A3G or Mary Worth just keeps on giving.

  281. Little Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    MT: “……..ohhhh, thank GOD! My bladder was ready to burst!”

    MT2: Mark is preparing to hop over the predator to rescue Otto.

    Yes, he’s going to….

    *shades off*

    … jump the shark.

  282. Little Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    @sully (#187): I’ve given up on “Luann”, and 9CL and FW are now low-bearing fruit. “Curtis” isn’t worth my time, until Kwanzaa, which has been a snoozefest and a ranting denounment that African-American authors can’t get published.

  283. Droopy Says
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#281): Ha! On Little Island, shark jumps you!

  284. LUJBEM FEJF
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#11): Jumble- I believe you really misspelled GROAN.

  285. greghousesgf
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @sully (#187): I can’t help agreeing with you about Mutts. I’m glad they care about the treatment of animals but the strip seems to be written and drawn by a six year old, kind of like how I feel about U2, I’m glad they care about worthy causes but their music sucks.

  286. Mike
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    I’m confused….Crock was discontinued last May, right? How are there newspapers running reprints of it? I mean, are there really people that liked Crock? I’m not trying to be mean or snarky either, its just that I’ve never ever ever EVER read a Crock strip that was funny.

  287. Mike
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#280.) I like Mutts, too. I got a collection of the comics once and its clear the author is talented and really loves his work. Plus, I think it serves its percieved audience well (pet/animal lovers, greeting card type humor lovers). Its great when you see a strip that has a little heart to it, and I don’t mean the touchy feely part. I mean that theres some effort put into it. But let me stop now before I go into a rant about strips that are stagnant and just dialin’ it in. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Beetle Baily, Archie and Garfield.)

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