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Soapy Wednesday

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/5/12

Kudos to Rex Morgan, M.D., for having the main player in its breast cancer plot be not some chipper, beatific saint, but someone who is actually cranky and exhausted the way someone going through chemo actually would be. Today’s strip makes me hope that we’ll be getting a medical marijuana subplot in our California locale; after all, one of the reasons pot is prescribed to cancer patients is to boost their appetite (the munchies used for good, not evil!). Which side of this issue will Rex come down on? He’s actually a notorious medical-issues pinko, what with his support of single-payer health insurance and all, but on the other hand he loves feeling smug and superior to people he thinks he’s better than, which includes all nonconformists and hippies and potheads, so this should make for a hilarious internal struggle.

Mark Trail, 12/5/12

Uh oh, looks like Otto tried to kill Mark but then accidentally killed himself! No, just kidding, Mark will rescue him, of course. The real drama here: Will he immediately be converted to goodness thanks to Mark’s selfless rescue, or will he continue to plot? Will Mark eventually have to punch him, more in sorrow than in anger?

Gil Thorp, 12/5/12

In the last panel, with the bolding and the question mark, the narration box seems to have passed from disinterested observer to outraged Mudlark partisan. Or maybe it’s literally baffled by the ill-drawn tangle of limbs in panel two? “Pass interference? Wait, is Gallagher wrapping his arm around #81, or just kind of whacking at him? What’s going on?

Dick Tracy, 12/5/12

Dick Tracy is doing some kind of “costumed vigilantes/superheroes” plot, though today it turns out that the whole thing may be a misunderstanding caused by this nice young couple’s eccentric and public sexual roleplay.

Spider-Man, 12/5/12

Over course of this plot, newspaper Spider-Man trufans have been saying, “OK, fine, we’ve had lots and lots of Peter Parker being publicly humiliated by his boss and by his rival, and he’s been literally forced to ‘pretend’ to work as a janitor in order to spy on Kraven. He’s done virtually no Web-slinging and absolutely no successful crime-fighting to speak of. But when do we get to the part of the story where he just yells at the television?” Well, today’s your lucky day, my friends.

296 responses to “Soapy Wednesday”

  1. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    JP: Randy’s thinking, Geez! When did dad become such a self-seeking, risk-averse coward who expects everything to simply break his way as if by divine right? That’s what I do! That’s my thing! I’m the judge now! I’m the judge!

  2. Chareth Cutestory
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Otto knows that the first thing to do when trying to deter sharks is to start peeing in the water as calmly as possible. Ahhhhhh…

  3. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    A3G-”Greg Cooper who, may I remind you, is our only client. For wanting to be such a big publicity agent you sure do have such a small list of clients.”

    A3G 2-”A staff meeting with a staff of one employee and an appointment with our only client.”

    Spiderman-”Because I didn’t do that one just to pin it on Kraven. I’ve been sitting here in Las Vegas watching tv the entire time.”

    JP-”Katherine was hoping you would become a girly man so it wouldn’t seem awkward for you to be wearing a bridal dress.”

    Love Is-Ring that bell.

    MT-And Mark is going to do the dumb thing by saving the man who kidnapped him and tried to kill him.

    MT 2-”Otto, I would try and save you but those are giant man eating sharks in the water. I’ll head back to the island and tell everyone how you died valiantly.”

    MW-”I don’t know anything except what the Great Mary Worth tells me what to know.”

    RMMD-”How about June? Would you like to eat June?”

  4. FountainMountainDew
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    I think we all know where Dr. Morgan stands on the marijuana issue:

    http://therightpot.blogspot.com/2010/07/rex-morgan-md-and-dope-propaganda.html

  5. won't someone think of the children
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Woody Wilson, writer of JP and RMMD is getting totally out of hand with promoting marijuana on the comics page. The page where you can not say the word ‘sucks’. First the JP storyline, where we get the moral of the story is “pot is awesome and very profitable, too bad it’s illegal so let’s just do some green energy scam until that changes” and now we’ll have June scoring some weed for the bitchy chemo patient. NORML’s favorite son Woody Wilson, everybody!

  6. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    MT-”Thank you for saving me, Mark. In honor of your noble action I shall stop kidnapping people and I’ll shave my mustache off.”

  7. terrapin
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    MT: I must say, I’m disappointed in Otto here. A real leader of a tiny country would maintain his sly confident grin even while having his lower extremities eaten by a large fish. There goes your re-election, Otto.

  8. Chyron HR
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    RMMD – “Banana smoothie?” So… Stripper C is saying she has a p0n0s, right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    GT – “A penalty marker! Pass interference? One of those Japanese rain dolls?! We don’t know how to play football, but we saw it on TV once!”

    DT – Cinnamon Barracuda and the Black Knight seem like a nice couple. It’s too bad at least one of them is going to die.

  9. Spider-Ham
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man
    Spider-Man
    Couch potato Spider-Man
    Grabs his remote
    with just one hand
    Changes channels with his thumb
    Look out!
    Here comes the Spider-Man.

    In the chill of night
    With C-Span on
    Like a streak of light
    It goes to ESPN

  10. Feckless Little Half-Wit Slug
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Keep the fanservice coming, Brook!!!

  11. Abbey, the Wonderdog
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    When did the gals from Apartment 3G move to San Diego and become a mash up with RMMD?

    And when did Tommie get cancer and had to have her under active personality removed?

    Arf! Arf! Arf!

  12. FountainMountainDew
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

  13. Mibbitmaker
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    S-M: “Nyah, nyah, NYAH!!!” (pout!)

    9CL: No…. in this strip, it’s about normal (thanks for the straight line, Brooke)

    JP: The Parker household is not a democracy. And Katherine is Dictator-For-Life. (that’d make a great Doonesbury!)

    Luann: Yeah, Quill. I hear her dad’s quite the firebug…

    MT: Oh, look, everything’s okay, he’s like “Aaaaaah, that feels better!” (written before #2 above, and not about that body function)
    Oh, wait, it’s actually more like “AAAAAAAAGH!!!! I’m being DEVOURED!!!!”
    My bad.

    MW: Uh…… elephants…… room………….

    FC: “Also, I spit in your general direction!”

  14. Christopher
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Panel 1: “You’ve got breast cancer and you’re eating junk food? Never mind. How does this top make my BREASTS look?”
    Panel 2: Something not involving breasts.
    Panel 3: “Let’s get a banana smoothie while I lean over and show you my BREASTS.”

  15. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Wait, are you suggesting that Rex hasn’t been totally stoned for the last 40 years??? I thought surely he must smoke Liddle Sawah’s body-weight in reefer every day.

    GT: When the defensive player is nowhere near the receiver when he catches the ball, as in Panel One, it’s not pass interference. It’s just incompetence.

    XKCD: Can someone please explain to me just what we are looking at, in the final panel???

  16. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    RMMD -Sure, I’d love a smoothie, but can you actually blend in the banana this time, rather than just peeling it and leaving it on the side? Shoving those things down my throat that way reminds me too much of work.

    GT- The narration box in panel 3 is expressing outrage. Panel 1 makes it clear that the receiver touched the ball before the safety hit him, and thus it was a legal hit.

  17. S. Stout
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Hearing Otto’s satisfied “Ahhhhhh….”, I believe the shark is performing other services.

    Luann: Speaking of services, Luann must be doing something extremely dirty if Quill is willing to be up at 3 am every night.

  18. Powers
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    GT: As bad as the drawing is, there is no way in HELL that’s pass interference.

  19. wossname
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – A staff meeting? A staff meeting? Since when does Margo have a staff? I guess it’ll be Margo and Evan at a big conference table, with Carla serving coffee and grocery store brand chocolate chip cookies.

    Phantom – Ah, the old liana vine trick. Now the question is, when the lioness falls to the ground, will she bust open, revealing a bunch of robotic parts?

    JP – In addition to all the good points raised here yesterday about this stupid plan and Katherine’s stupid reaction – if there is a big fancy wedding, isn’t the family of the bride supposed to plan it?

    MT – I want panel 3 as a T-shirt! A coffee mug! A desktop background! Wallpaper! Custom paint on my car and motorcycle!

    Even though I agree that Mark will probably rescue Otto with predictable and boring denouement, panel 3 holds out hope that we’ll actually see (or at least be told about) a selachian feast. And I resent that Jackelrod wasted panel 2 on a naration box recap instead of moving the action forward.

    MW – Could we please have some discussion about how many arms Jim has? We’re on tenterhooks here, with bated breath, waiting to find out if he got a prosthesis or if Giella just forgot on Monday that he was missing an arm. And yet Dawn refuses to mention it!

    Re yesterday’s discussion of Mutts, I agree that a lot of times it’s bland and unfunny. But I personally kind of give McDonnell a pass because he’s so into animal welfare causes, and often tries to use the strip to advance them. And his “Shelter Stories” strips make me cry.

  20. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#15):

    GT – Beat me to it!

    XKCD – Makes no sense to me, either. Fom the hover text, I assume it is a joke about a game called “Ingress” and how it doesn’t translate well to real-life behavior. Sheesh, next they will tell me that slaughtering peasants won’t make me grow ever stronger, and that their bodies won’t immediately transform into gold coins!

  21. Powers
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#19): Maybe forty years ago, the bride’s family was responsible for throwing a wedding. But this is the 21st century, and JP, senior, is rich. The Bowers are likely merely middle-class. Perfectly appropriate for the Parkers to undertake the lion’s share of expenses.

  22. Mibbitmaker
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Glibporn:

    P1 — I really, really despise commercials (generally), yet Brooke’s smug hatred of them makes me want to defend Madison Ave. something fierce!

    P2 — Brooke’s main gambit:
    Constantly writing/drawing his objectifying*, sleazy, skeevy little turn-ons, pretending it’s contemptable nerdy critic stand-ins doing that, so he (Brooke) can pose as some kind of feminist defending females from a fake-chauvinist scapegoat that’s really him, all him! Of couse, NONE of it’s about sex, you sleazy, skeevy contemptable nerds, you!

    * I usually dislike the term “objectifying”, since it’s used to demonize any sexual enjoyment of the (usually) female form, not just the truly dehumanizingly sexist. But, in Brooke’s case, it’s entirely justified!

  23. Tom the Sailor Man
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    The shark will reveal Otto’s goodness by biting off his facial hair.
    Unfortunately, he started a little too low.

  24. Ed Dravecky
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Next week, Peter Parker blames global warming, 9/11, and the heartbreak of psoriasis on Kraven before settling in for a Storage Wars marathon.

  25. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#19): JP: April’s Dad is deceased (he left her his gun collection, including the one with the seemingly incriminating silencer, and including the shotgun with which she blasted away at her would-be assassin and put a hole in her wall). I suspect her Mom is deceased too, but I really don’t remember. Anyway, that’s her CIA cover story, so let’s stick to it, if we know what’s good for us.

  26. Greg
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    MT: Otto is drowning from the black, greasy oil melting off his hair plate. Move aside, BP, we have a new disaster!!

  27. Kimble
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    MW: A staff meeting with the one staffer who is your love interest? Calling pillow talk a staff meeting is a new one; my wife and I just tell the kids we’re talking about bills.

  28. Marc
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    9CL- For a man who claims that there is nothing dirty in anything he writes; McE’s strips sure contain an overwhelming amoung of human sex, fairy sex, insect sex among other things.

    A3G- A staff meeting between Margo and Evan? 45 minutes of violent mood swings, temple massages, and little nicknames for each other. I don’t envy Carla having to take the minutes of that meeting.

    Family Circus- After watching reruns of Seinfeld every night due to her insomnia caused by the mellonheads; Momma Keane took page out of the George Costanza playbook to rid herself of the dumbest and most useless child. She bought a shitload of envelopes with toxic glue and let Jeffy go to town on them. Now she just has to play the waiting game.

    Mark Trail- In today’s water safety lesson, we’re going to learn why it is important to wear a life jacket when you are miles away from shore, in a boat that is not equipped to handle the waters, while using inadequate tackle to catch large saltwater fish.

    Mary Worth- So I guess we’re just going to keep ignoring the new arm then aren’t we. That’s fine, just keep on spouting off nonsensical platitudes. We’ll just keep waiting patiently while you two talk like robots.

    Funky- The mind numbing stupidity of this arc has rendered me completely incapable of thinking up anything even remotely snarky to say.

    Luann- I’m trying to look at this from a new angle. Maybe the reason that Momma Degroot is so intent on sabotaging B-wad’s relationship and Daddy with Luann is that they know how fucked up their kids are and they’re trying to protect everyone else from their horrible offspring. Apparently they aren’t yet aware that Toni is a horrible white trash bitch and Quill is gay. If they did, they’d probably just give up and move to Bermuda.

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: *insert Susie Rottencrotch reference here*

    IP: whoops! *rofls*

    Lio: melon head?

    NAoQV: also featuring nuclear holocaust played for laughs.

    SBp: /facepalm

    FW: *rage*

    Lockhorns: well, DUH!!!

    MG&G: I did not need to see that. no, I did not.

    RMMD: *insert medical marijuana reference here* (oops, Josh already did!)

    SF: oh Ted, don’t ever change.

  30. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . tugjobs

  31. Dan
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Jameson really must have had to hunt for a hotel room that still allows smoking in 2012, just so he could send his non-smoking employee to stay there. It’s those little extra touches of sadism that really let you know he cares.

  32. S. Stout
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#20):

    XKCD: It’s a game similar to Four Square, you go to interesting places and check in for points or whatever. His house has been labeled as a check in place.

  33. Steve
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    GT: Either the writers of the cartoon don’t know that pass interference cannot occur once a player makes contact with the ball or they’ve decided to create a bad call controversy within the cartoon to further complicate Terry Gallagher’s image rehabilitation.

  34. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    GT: The limitations of the medium make action plays a tricky business. Diagnosing football penalties on the basis of a single frame is near impossible. There are a number of other factors that pictorial stories just can’t present accurately. Such as

    Pass interference?? No! The ref is signalling the return of Haley’s Comet!

  35. SPG
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    ASM – I can’t think of a more interesting news story or Vegas act than a performance that involves a tiara. I honestly cannot imagine what a tiara-inclusive performance would entail.

  36. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Steve (#33): Gallagher’s image rehab is like, so, last arc. Keep up with the times, dude. This is the age of The Valley Tech Rivalry! Long live the Valley Tech Rival… Oh for pete’s sake, I wish this insipid story line would end already!

  37. Anonymous
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: [CLICK] “Kraven’s probably up to his neck in this fiscal cliff thing, too!” [CLICK] “I can’t believe Kraven pushed Hostess into bankruptcy!” [CLICK] “Kraven is preventing people from saving money on their car insurance!” [CLICK]

  38. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#22):

    I’m confused. What “feckless, half-witted slug” forced the characters to dress like this:

    http://www.gocomics.com/pibgorn/2012/11/27

    Or this: http://www.gocomics.com/pibgorn/2012/11/26
    Or this: http://www.gocomics.com/pibgorn/2012/11/08

    Because all three strips state clearly that the characters are choosing to dress this way, including the heels. Or am I confused by the fact that all his female chacters look, act, and dress alike and are thus indistinguishable?

  39. AdHocGrip
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    @Dan (#31): The Ashtray. I think Petey did some off-panel web shooting and stole it. Vegas does that to people.

  40. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Kraven: And by “perform”, I mean “get jiggy with it.”

  41. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MT: While in the water, Otto took the opportunity to relieve himself.

  42. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    “Kudos to Rex Morgan, M.D., for having the main player in its breast cancer plot be not some chipper, beatific saint”

    But she’s hot and her friends are beer chugging strippers. Seriously, if they were skanks, we’d be begging for more of Rex making bland statements for the press.

  43. Digger
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Let’s take on the Peter Parker mindset and blame everything on Kraven. Kraven gave that woman cancer. Kraven knocked Otto in the water. Kraven committed pass interference in the Mudlark game. I’m not sure if it was Kraven who foiled that robbery in Dick Tracy, but one thing’s for sure, it wasn’t Spider-Man.

  44. Mary Worthless
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    I am so glad to see the English as a second language lessons are working so well forDawn and Jim and that they have each other to practice with.

  45. Horace Broon
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    ASM: “And we can expect colder weather tomorrow due to an area of low pressure…” “Area of low pressure my spider-ass! It’s all Kraven’s fault!”

    FW: It’s funny because he said “app”! Apps are funny!

    HtH: “Either start singing ‘I’ll be home for Jultide’, or guess who goes on the solstice bonfire?”

    MT: No the real question is “Will Mark have to jump over…” oh, who am I kidding? Mark jumped the shark years ago.

    MW It’s a “things no human being would ever say” bonanza!

    Phantom: “It would be bad for my image to shoot a lioness, but if I drug her, and then trick her onto a narrow branch so she falls out of the tree, that’s not my fault, right? Anyway, she’s a cat, she’ll land on her feet, probably.”

    S4th: Yes, Ted grew up in baggage claim. He was found in a handbag there, and his real name is Ernest Forth.

  46. TheDiva
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD: How long before Tom Batiuk puts out a hit on Rex Morgan for muscling in on his territory?

    SM: Peter, let me save you a lot of time and trouble: Kraven has an iron-clad alibi, as he was doing his show when the house was hit. But that doesn’t matter, because he’s trained his Three Stooges monkeys in the way of crime, and they go out and do his dirty work for him, and nobody is the wiser! There. Now go back to watching television, the adults are talking.

  47. Ranger
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    MT: I know that Mark will save Otto, but I am really hoping he has to punch a shark in the process. I’m also hoping the phrase “Punch the Shark” becomes the new slogan for “Jump the Shark”.

  48. gleeb
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    3-G: I think someone’s sweet on Greg. Will Carla have to choose between him and Margo?

    ‘shaft: “Yep, I’m using them to set up a tired, derivative gag. This time involving paving stones!”

    ‘bean: The transition into a GIZMOES gag is so seamless you’d almost think a human was writing it.

    Mark: Ahhhh…The warm clear water of the Caribbean is so relaxing that Otto will become resolved to the good.

    Dick: So, we’re going ahead with this and not the Moon. Fine. I’d like to congratulate our writers in not making a big deal about our vigilantes being an interracial couple, because I think there are still folks in Chicago who have a hard time accepting that kind of thing. So, kudos, and go ahead with David and Stephanie. I don’t mind at all that your socially uplifting message deprives me of finding out the truth about Moon Maid.

    Gil: I think the flag is for an illegal dust storm in the end zone.

  49. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Ginger pops up to remind everyone that we’re in Southern California.

    MT: Otto’s plot has been foiled and he’s in severe danger of becoming shark food. On the plus side, he seems to be taking a relaxing piss.

    WofI: I actually got a good laugh at this one today. It’s even better if you imagine a pained pause before Bung speaks.

    Archie: “Daddy’s been keeping them locked in the basement and feeding them scraps, so you may have to do some re-socializing.”

    JP: Yes, Randy is well aware that Katherine has been planning his wedding since he was a kid. The memories of dressing up in a little white tuxedo and walking down the aisle with her imaginary friend haunt him to this day.

    HtH: “After all, do you think Odin would approve of us taking part in that bizarre Levantine cult?”

    Blondie: Sometimes a pastrami is just a pastrami. No, scratch that. When we’re talking about Dagwood there’s no such thing as just a pastrami.

    Phantom: Meanwhile, Ghost-Who-Botches-Recipes makes a mental note to buy Detomidine in bulk.

    6C: “Uh, yeah, maybe having heart-to-hearts like this one is a bad idea for us.”

    Luann: Hey Luann, look at me when you talk to me.#fourthwallfail

    SSmith: And by “that ‘un” Snuffy means the sickly horse dump that Barlow will have to spend an hour washing off his shoe.

    H-Cliff: “Be sure to bring your car or truck to Joe’s Auto, where we let stray cats drag our tools through the snow.”

    A3G: Short meeting. Aside from Carla herself, the agency’s staff consists of Evan and his magic fingers.

  50. Droopy Says
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail will face no danger when he rescues Otto. As Cherry or Kelly Welly could tell you, he has nothing to interest man-eating sharks. (Is it really a joke about low-hanging fruit when nothing’s hanging?)

  51. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    FW – This is the third time this year that a character has sold off parts of their comic book collection to cover expenses – Funky, Mopey Pete, and now Cra-zay-zee Harry have all done it. Plus, one main character already runs a comic book store, and another just moved to New York to pursue a career in collecting comic books

    I’m sorry, but “Maybe I can buy that new toy if I sell one of my comic books!” is the behavior of a child. It isn’t some hidebound literalist who is infantalizing them, it is the author.

    I know that there is an overlap between “people who follow newpaper and on-line comic strips” and “people who collect comic books and call them graphic novels”, but to have every single person in Westview rely on comic books as their primary investment and savings tool, and many of them rely on them as a primary source of income, is still ridiculous.

  52. TheDiva
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    9CL: For those of who think 9 Chickweed Lane has egregiously ignored the field of fly sex, here you go.

    A3G: So Margo’s going to eat strategically placed whipped cream of Greg’s body now?

    C’shaft: Paving stones. He’s using them for paving stones, or some other kind of stonework. Ha-ha, Lena’s angry and humiliated, isn’t that funny, next running gag please.

    FW: PROTIP TO TOM BATIUK: Punchlines are more effective when you stop at them.

    Luann: Luann offers some wise advice to the audience.

    MW: You know what would improve this story? A rain of seagull shit.

    Pibgorn: Brooke, you were the one who decided that it was absolutely essential to your story for every major female character to run around in harem costume. I don’t think you should be throwing stones right now.

  53. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    AS-M: “All I hear all day long in Las Vegas is how great Kraven is at this, or how wonderful Kraven did that — Kraven! KRAVEN! KRAVEN!

  54. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Ranger (#47): “Oh, and for your information? There was an episode of ‘Happy Days’ where a guy literally jumped over a shark… and it was the best one!”

  55. Dood
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Really the only question here is whether Mark can rescue Otto without breaking out a contraction. Let’s watch.

  56. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#45):

    FW: It’s funny because he said “app”! Apps are funny!

    Son, you’ve learned one of the most important lessons. Soon you’ll be ready to start – or better yet inherit – your very own syndicated strip.

  57. TheDiva
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah, new Musical Hell review is up! Lucille Ball will charm the blood right out of your ears with her performance in Mame!

    HotC: And thus a latex fetish was born.

    Marvin: This is going to evolve into some weird Fight Club-style thing, isn’t it?

  58. Dood
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: If he’s the Cinnamon Knight, is she the Nutmeg Ninja?

  59. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#56): final lesson: The GOLF joke!

  60. Ranger
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#56): Oh I am well aware of that. I just feel its time has come to pass. Maybe reserve Punch the Shark for comics?

  61. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    JP: You may have a death wish, but leave me out of this!

    Randy: April and I have been dating for only about a month…

    Starts driving faster

    Randy: Although it feels like years…

    Drives faster

    Randy: And we’ve had discussions about this…

    JP: Uh, Son, the speed limit…

    Speedometer passes 80

    Randy: That seem to have lasted weeks on end…

    Parker’s car weaves around a truck

    Randy: And all of that work…

    JP: Watch for that…

    The Parkers narrowly slip between a porche and a BMW to pass

    Randy: Goes to hell because some trollop that you married….

    Engine begins to whine as the speedometer passes 110

    JP: Easy, Son, she’s your legal mother…

    Randy: She’s NOT my MOTHER! I do not call her “MOM”! I’ll NEVER CALL HER “MOM”!!

    JP: The cops…

    Randy: I can fucking handle the cops! I’m a goddamn PARKER for cryin’ out loud! I can NOT handle having MY life and MY wedding and MY bride directed by this gold-digging slut that you married!

    The cops start in, and Randy cuts to the lane of oncoming traffic

    JP: Randy, please…

    Randy: Don’t want a deathwish, old man? Well YOU GOT ONE! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! NOW what are you going to tell the fucking whore of Babylon? Huh? Ha ha ha! That she won’t get her way? Yeah? I know I’m getting my way. I’m Goddamn well getting my way!!

  62. Nekrotzar
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Man, the Cinnamon Knight is kicking SpiderMan’s ass, and he’s much more likable in his street-clothes persona as well. At first I thought maybe Peter Parker took the photo on the front page of the paper, but, nah, he would have messed up the exposure.

  63. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT, Last panel – Otto seems to enjoying one hell of an orgasm there!

  64. Austria
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    FW: The first panel trounces the rest of the comic. Seriously, he should have just stopped there.

    H&L: I hate this freaking baby. I hate her so much.

    MG&G: Win.

    S-M: Silver Spoon’s going to be jealous.

  65. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Spidey: [Shatner]KKKKRRRRAAAAAAAVVVVVVEEEEENNNNNNN!!!![/Shatner]

  66. Here come the Judge
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Luann: I think Quill’s insistence on calling Luann “Yank” every five seconds is probably just an attempt to send her a subliminal message of what he’d like her to do to his… err… “Australian”.

    RMMD: “How about a banana smoothie? You like those! Or, would you rather just have a plain banana, so you can run through your old act?”

  67. Little Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#15), GT: Or, it’s just a bullshit call by the refs. It happens.

    Just another way to end the football season without the playdowns.

  68. Little Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail/Sherman’s Lagoon crossover? What’s next? a Phantom/PBS crossover? (“Hellllllllllo, Ghost Hoo Woks…..”)

  69. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#68): I’m holding out for the “Apartment 3G”/”Get Fuzzy” crossover … Margo and Luann move in with Rob, Bucky and Satchel move in with Tommie, and beyond that, the strips’ dynamics don’t change one iota.

  70. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    GT — Come’on Ref! Pick up the flag! That was a clean hit!

  71. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    3GDessert? Protect your bone marrow, Greg. And your sweet, sweet brain.

    9Tomorrow: “Amos, I love your new belt buckle!”
    “Thanks, Edda. It’s made with real mistletoe!” [*]

    Dick – “I wanna play with a cinnamon knight
    I could be happy, stagin’ a scene
    With my cinnamon knight.
    I see it in pictures, a villain in tights,
    We’d be in the papers, our names up in lights,
    Mine ‘n’ Cinnamon Knight’s.”

  72. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark turns and looks directly into the camera. Kids, if you suspiciously fall off a boat in shark infested waters, remember not to scream and thrash about, as it will only attract the sharks. This message has been brought to you by… Otto, a little quiet, please! I’m trying to do a public service announcement!

  73. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s a break through! Jim’s prosthetic penile pump just broke through his sans-a-belt pants!

  74. Chip
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    SPOILER ALERT: Snuffy Smith is shamelessly promoting the finale of “Boardwalk Empire!”

  75. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    love is… …a vigorous course of Kent Treble Bob Majors with a side of Grandsire Triples, a few Steadmans, and Grandsire Major for lagniappe.

    Mary – Jim’s ghost seems, well, kind of simple.

    Family – I see Jeffy has written Dolly out of this venerable gag from the 1960s in its most recent incarnation. Cuz stamps don’t need licking any more, I guess. Next time around, he’ll have forwarded the rough draft to everybody on the list, the little scamp!

  76. Charterstoned
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    MT – I think that’s Johnny Malotte in the water.

  77. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @odinthor (#y263): When Scaduto died, he was pondering a gag idea I’d sent in. (He had written back to say so.) I’d have loved seeing it in print with a tippo to me. One more reason to be sad he’s gone, but far from the only one.

    @Droopy Says (#y275): Wouldn’t all that licking have glued Jeffy’s mouth shut? Please?
    It wouldn’t help. My older sisters used to say that if I ever got lockjaw, I’d learn to talk intravenously.

    @Peanut Gallery (#y280): It’s true, alas. Mutts has been mostly heartwarming and not so much funny for quite some time. Still, his tribute to Schulz (“There goes Charlie Brown. Good ol’ Charlie Brown. How we love him!”) gave him years of slack in my book.

  78. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I like the symbolic imagery of Delores in panel 2 closing her eyes, imagining shipping off across the still waters to the heavenly clouds of paradise. Of course, there are breasts to be ogled in panels 1 and 3, so panel 2 is really in last place for the day.

  79. Chip
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Actually, I thought the argument in favor of medicinal marijuana was that it cut the nausea, thereby allowing the patient to eat. Since the same active ingredients could not be swallowed (due to the aforementioned nausea) smoking it was the best delivery method.

  80. Santa Royale With Cheese
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    S-M: Let’s see…

    Cranky central character? Check.

    Yells at the TV? Check.

    Completely off his rocker? Check.

    I’m calling it: Spider-Man has been replaced by “Mallard Fillmore”.

  81. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @FountainMountainDew (#12): More recently, in the 80s or 90s, they had a strip about how PCP automatically turns you into a raving killer, which prompted a long debate with writer Ted White, who had some actual experience with the drug, in which he’d protest their stereotypical depictions, provide some facts and stuff, and they’d say “but PCP automatically turns you into a raving killer, and you’re mean” every time.

    It’s no coincidence, methinks, that White’s frequent collaborator Dan Steffan did a hilarious strip in DOPE COMIX #2 (“Teenage Drug Addictee”) where Spike the punk is accosted by a couple of hippies who force him to use drugs (“But drugs are for old people…”) and returns to his friends as a prototypical hippie, prompting one background character to think “Shit! And I burned all my denims.” Anyway, his friends decide that “Spike is sick! Sick, sick, sick…” and send him to Rex Moron, MD, who threatens him with all kinds of treatment, but adds “Tell ya what. Just lick my anus, and I’ll tell ‘em you’re cured.”

    There’s more, but suffice to say it’s a lovely and well-deserved bit of (literally) character (and okay, less literally) assassination. With great drawings, as usual from Steffy.

  82. Shrug, Speaker to Shameful Admissions
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Alison (#207):

    “I’ve found that most (all?) the strips featured on this site have one thing in common which is that pretty much everyone here loathes them.”

    Pretty much, yes. But it is my not-so-secret shame that I rather like PLUGGERS (and identify with it, more often than not).

    I realize there is this theory that thinking you are a Plugger is self-aware enough to disqualify you from being a Plugger, but that’s too paradoxical for me to accept.

    /// I also shave the Spanish barber.

  83. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    GT: That’s not the ref! That’s Mudlark-hatin’ Marty Moon!

  84. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:09 am [Reply]

  85. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    and some lolsnark to go with the squee!

    meanwhile, in BC.

    got my vote.

    ultimate cross-over?

    this kid has the best parents EVAR!!!

  86. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Best part of current Dick Tracy storyline: It apparently features The Penguin’s brother. No, really.

    Kudos to the DT team for dressing him like Burgess Meredith’s Penguin. I shudder to think what the brother of Danny DeVito’s Penguin would look like.

  87. Shrug, Speaker to Those Robin the Cradle
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#209):

    “The [new DC] comics are good, but they’re asking us to believe Batman had FOUR boy companions in five years. Dick Tracy seems downright sensible compared to that.”

    Boy companions are cheaper when you buy in bulk. Even millionaire socialites have to do a bit of belt-tightening in this economy.

  88. RavenHawk
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#51):Totally agree, Calvin.

    In real life, all those comic book “treasures” would probably get you $5.00 at a used book store. Maybe.

  89. Chip
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Thanks for keeping me up-to-date on Spiderman! So, if I get this right, our hero thus far has:

    -Traveled by bus to Vegas to “photograph” Kraven and/or Spidey, if he showed,
    -Gotten a job as a JANITOR to pay his expenses for said trip (never mind that his wife is a wealthy and famous actress who could just PAY his way for him…)
    -ALMOST thwarted a crime in progress, but was beaten to the punch by said “villain!”
    -Sat sullenly in front of the TV and yelled petulant comments about the bad guy to no one in particular,
    -Has yet to take an actual picture, which is the whole “cover story” thing for his being there…

    Did I leave anything out?

  90. Red Greenback
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    MT:
    A little nostalgia for the old folks.

  91. Ron Hogan
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    If this has come up before during the Kraven storyline, I apologize, but isn’t there some precedent in Marvel continuity for the idea that Kraven can recognize that Peter Parker is Spider-Man because, being the greatest hunter in the world yadda yadda, he has an exquisitely honed sense of smell?

  92. Chip Whittle
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @wossname (#19):

    A3G – A staff meeting? A staff meeting? Since when does Margo have a staff?

    What Margo means by a “staff meeting” is “I’m going to hit someone with a stick”.

  93. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    A3G: It would be awesome if we saw Margo’s as-yet-unseen staff show for this meeting, and it is like one of those super-teams with a female alien, a robot, the invisible man, a demon from another dimension, a flying dude with a cape and a cat who wears a trenchcoat and a fedora. And Evan.

  94. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Ron Hogan (#91): Kraven’s sense of smell is thrown off because everything about this strip stinks.

  95. Gringo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    Gil: It’s pretty obvious from panel one that there was no pass interference, but it’s not surprising we see a flag in panel three. That’s what happens when you’re reduced to employing Jim Rome as a replacement referee.

  96. DAS
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    A physician who is both “a notorious medical-issues pinko” and who “loves feeling smug and superior to people he thinks he’s better than, which includes all nonconformists and hippies and potheads”? Isn’t that pretty common-place? I thought Rex Morgan was an unrealistic depiction of a physician, considering how rarely he seems to actually practice (I guess he’s smug enough to figure he’s perfected it so why practice?) medicine and all that stuff.

  97. RavenHawk
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    The Amazingly Lame Spiderman: “I bet he had something to do with 9/11, too. I should try to pin that on him also.” Grumble. Grumble. Whine.

  98. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Chip (#89): You left off that Parker watched Kraven’s show, and it was fabulous.

  99. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    SM: So what museum docent approved lending Kraven, a convicted felon, a priceless tiara so he could use it in his act with wild animals?

  100. Notebooked
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Can I just say I wish Spider-Man would go on like this forever? “Kraven is currently performing at a charity concert–” “He plans to use some sort of super-strong amplifier to shatter everyone’s eardrums!” “–and he has donated a hundred thousand dollars to the local orphanage.” “They must be poison-laced! I’d better rescue those poor dollar bills before they can ever be put to evil!”

    This will continue until Peter Parker is but an apathic blob on the floor, white t-shirt stained with sweat, shovelling Ben & Jerry’s into his mouth. “Here is exclusive footage of Kraven, in front of a two-ton truck, pushing the old lady to safety.” “He pushed her? That must be assault!” “He later prevented an art theft at the National Gallery.” “Big deal! I could do that! I would have done that…if he hadn’t done that first.” He has chewed the same spoonful of ice cream for a long time. It has long since lost its flavor, and now tastes only of tears.

  101. Doctor Handsome
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    Wait, is this whole storyline just a daydream Otto’s having while he lolls in a bubble bath?

  102. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    FC: No one has mentioned that George Costanza’s fiance on Seinfeld died from licking too many envelopes. Die! Die!

  103. Illustrator Steve
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#28): “…it is important to wear a life jacket when you are miles away from shore…”

    MT – Come to think of it, didn’t Jack Elrod have to add life jackets to caracters in boats and canoes after he got reamed out by some boating safety group or something? Obviously he has little regard for such advice if it’s something that’s not available in his clip art files.

  104. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    If this Mark Trail story line isn’t as good as it used to be, can we say that it has officially “punched the shark”?

  105. Doctor Handsome
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy should take a cue from Gil Thorp and build suspense in panel three: “Did Cinnamon Knight get killed by the robbers? Stay tuned!”

  106. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#99): If Peter Parker were Batman, that is exactly the question he’d be asking right now, and that very night he’d be dangling that docent from the Stratosphere Tower asking him why. If Peter Parker were Dick Tracy, Kraven would be dead by now anyway, killed by his own rampaging animals who were spooked by the mangled, flaming body of a docent falling from the rigging onto stage.

  107. greghousesgf
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#58): no, the Ginger Ninja!

  108. Cloudbuster
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Luann: Or, you could call Luann at 3 or 4 PM so it would still be relatively early in the evening for her, but then this strip would have no point. Oh, wait…

    Pibgorn: “What is it about these feckless little halfwit slugs and women in high heels?” Seriously, Brooke? You’re really going to go with the theory that normal guys don’t like women in high heels?

  109. Chip Whittle
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @Notebooked (#100):

    This will continue until Peter Parker is but an apathic blob on the floor, white t-shirt stained with sweat, shovelling Ben & Jerry’s into his mouth.

    “Until”?

    …Thought that happened by like 1998 anyway.

  110. Cloudbuster
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: Well. That’s pretty gross. And not funny, especially if you picture yourself actually watching it happen.

  111. Shrug, With the Proportional Pun Powers of a Spider
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    @SPG (#35):

    “ASM – I can’t think of a more interesting news story or Vegas act than a performance that involves a tiara. I honestly cannot imagine what a tiara-inclusive performance would entail.”

    What, you can’t imagine a big production number with a chorus of Las Vegas show girls singing “Tiara-boom-de-ay”?

    Now, if Spidey merged with FAMILY CIRCUS, we could have one of those big Sunday one-pagers which depicts the footprints of L’il Melonhead Kraven wandering around the neighborhood looking for his missing cat, and call it Tiara Long the Dotted Lion. (If L’il Melonhead Kraven’s missing cat happens to BE a dotted lion, so much the better.)

  112. Cloudbuster
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    MW: “I don’t know anything. And yet Here I am.” That’s T-Shirt material right there.

  113. sully
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    Why does Parker have an ash-tray on the TV table? These days, one must request a ‘smoking’ room in a hotel. Does he secretly smoke? It must be grass, which would explain his penchant for lying around on the couch watching television.

  114. Jon the Red
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    “As the narrator, I merely describe what you see, Billy…and what I saw was a load of crap. Pass interference?

  115. Shrug, Something of a Back Issue Himself
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#51):

    Wasn’t there also a “make big bucks by selling rare comic book” plot in FW’s stablemate strip CRANKSHAFT a few years ago (the resolution of “Ed promised to fund the Rough Riders’ start in college if they buckled down and finished high school” arc — which was one of the few times I can recall seeing Crankshaft behaving like a sympathetic character)?

    Mind you, sometimes it sort of works. I sold almost all of my comic book collection back in 1988 to fund purchase our house, but (a) it only supplied the down payment, not the whole fricking price; (b) it was just before the comics collecting boom semi-crashed; and (c) there were a LOT of comics involved.

    Now I figure if I have financial reverses during upcoming retirement, I can always sell my valuable collectible Earth Shoes collection. I think there’s still a pair up in the attic somewhere….

  116. Dood
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: What does Kraven call his act with “the priceless Abby diamond tiara,” the Aristocrat?

  117. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    GT: Not pictured: Gallagher slashing 81′s femoral artery with his sgian-dubh.

  118. Dood
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    “Pass interference? Oh, and shut yer pompous piehole, Mr. Pedantic Mark Trail Narration Box. I gotcher ‘Otto tried to maneuver the boat…’ right here.”

  119. Spotts1701
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Something of a Back Issue Himself (#115): IIRC (and the Wiki magic supports), Cranky sold off a bunch of vintage and pristine movie posters to fund the scholarships.

    But yeah – much like baseball cards, most comic books that have been produced in the last 20 years or so have very little resale value as a collectable because the supply is so large that it far outstrips demand. Sort of like how a 1952 Mickey Mantle card will always be more valuable than any card of a Hall-of-Fame player from the 1980′s-2000′s.

  120. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, With the Proportional Pun Powers of a Spider (#111): “What, you can’t imagine a big production number with a chorus of Las Vegas show girls singing “Tiara-boom-de-ay”?”

    well punned, sir or madame, well punned indeed.

    *golf clap*

  121. Ned Ryerson
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: “No that is not ‘side boob’, you cretinous window licker. That’s mammary en flanke!”

  122. Uncle Lumpy
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#19):

    … if there is a big fancy wedding, isn’t the family of the bride supposed to plan it?

    Randy is the bride. But at least he can now put to rest those rumors that he’s “not the marrying kind.”

  123. Snarkotix Addict
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    MT – Of course, Mark will rescue Otto, but Otto will lose an arm to the shark. He’ll fear to go near the pier again, and will develop an obsession Mark – because he looks like his dead sister, Merry.

  124. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    HOTC: Oh God, Dean just challenged Heart to a duel. I hope they’re both lousy shots.

  125. Aelfric
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    “Cinnamon Knight?” Did he name himself after his favorite female porn actress?

  126. Hibbleton
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#93):
    I was picturing more of a dogs-playing-poker tableau but I like yours better.

  127. Marc
    December 5th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#103): Otto was going to use part of the $2 million in ransom money to purchase life jackets for his villagers. That way they will be safe when they go out on the ocean in their rickety boats to catch tarpon and marlins with their 5 lb test line.

  128. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#19) on Phantom: It’d be funnier if the tiger broke open and spilled wrapped candy. That tamarind candy. The good stuff that contains almost lethal levels of lead.

    @Anonymous (#37): Good one, Anony!

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#54): The important question: Did he punch the shark?

    @Ron Hogan (#91): Most people can detect the stench of failure. Failure and Drakkar Noir.

  129. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    MEMO TO ILLUSTRATOR STEVE: In all of the “Mark Trail” archives, is there a Sunday strip on which ocean creatures give good head? I’m curious which one Otto has found.

  130. Little Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#68): What am I talking about? bats:[ did one, and won a prize in the WaPo.

  131. Marthas Rolling Pin
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#75): re Love Is…They can do all that with just two bells? Ding-dong, dong-ding and where does it go from there?

  132. Peanut Gallery
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    DtM – Dennis is picking up curse words from Andy Capp.

  133. Shrug, Tempting Mark Trail to Punch Him
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#120):

    “well punned, sir or madame, well punned indeed.”

    Thanks. Since I had occasion yesterday (?) to refer to myself as mutton-chopped, I’ll let you deduce my chromosomal makeup.

    Or on the other hand, what the heck…

    https://www.lib.umn.edu/about/staff/dennis-lien

  134. BeckoningChasm
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Otto looks like he’s really enjoying farting underwater.

  135. odinthor
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    #77. OMM.

    When Scaduto died, he was pondering a gag idea I’d sent in. (He had written back to say so.) I’d have loved seeing it in print with a tippo to me. One more reason to be sad he’s gone, but far from the only one.

    Quite so; the other reason was that an idea from me was on his table right next to yours (he had written back to me as well). Can we form a “Scaduto Orphans” club? I’ll provide the de rigueur cobwebs for the meetings.

  136. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Tempting Mark Trail to Punch Him (#133): Yes, your face is Right Fist O’Justice bait.

  137. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-She doesn’t like smoothies. She likes hardies.

    Spiderman-”So Peter, did you do any gambling while in Vegas?” “Nah. I just stayed in the hotel room the entire time yelling at the tv.”

  138. Froggy
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#112): Of course with proper attribution to Bizarro World Descartes.

  139. Will
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#15): There’s some good explanations in the XKCD Forums. It says something about how obscure Ingress is that many of the XKCD regulars, who generally know everything, didn’t get it.

  140. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Terry hits as hard as a drunken Irish wife beater.

    MW-”It’s not really unsafe here. Except earlier I watched a guy getting mugged.”

    Beetle Bailey-”Looks like the General wants to invade Prussia.”

    Barney Google and Snuffy Smith-Looks like there is some sort of over this town that prevents anything modern from coming so that’s why I ride Sparkplug.

    FW-”I have no idea what I just said means. I’m just repeating something I heard a lot of people say in an attempt to look like I’m with it.”

  141. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    DT-”I didn’t make the paper myself. There were lots of people involved in it too. The reporters who did the stories, the editors, the boys who run the printers.”

  142. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: When was the last time you were in a hotel room with electric blue lampshades? Or with an ashtray?

    Apt. 3-G: They…went there today. I didn’t think it was possible on a strip so filled with flat pastels, but you should probably expect Greg to turn up tomorrow with a whole lot of whipped cream and not a single spoon in sight.

    I was about to accuse Dick Tracy of going into sketchy territory, but then I remembered who I was talking about. Cinnamon Knight is just lucky the Black Piranha isn’t so into skullf—ing bullet holes.

    Mark Trail: No, Otto! Don’t you know sharks are attracted by warm water?!

    Mary Worth: It’s probably been said before, but, uh, what sort of “breakthrough” are we talking about here, Jimbo? Am I glad only the top half of you is in frame?

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: For about ten seconds after college, I drove a cab. One of my repeated fares was actually to go to Burger King, pick up a couple of large banana milkshakes, and take them to a guy’s apartment. His wife was in the last stages of Alzheimer’s, and it was all he could keep down her throat. It was very sad and moving at the same time.

    Wow, this is a weird post.

  143. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#89): You left out </b>

  144. Mars
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    *looks at Rex Morgan’s third panel*

    ….is that Amber Tamblyn? I know her career hasn’t been that active lately, but she could have done so much better than this strip….

  145. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Oh I would munch on that fat guy that just fell into the water but I had a big lunch maybe I’ll nibble at his toes,” the shark thinks to itself.

  146. Illustrator Steve
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129): “…which ocean creature gives good head?”

    I’m not sure, but a good guess would be Manatees, allthough they usually hang out in waterways and canals, not deep ocean water. They can suck the built up algae off the hull of a boat as if it were whip cream!

  147. pparf
    December 5th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Is it just me, or does that look as much like “Since I had my shit on. . .” as much as it looks like “Since I had my suit on. . .”? I prefer the former.

  148. Shrug, Keeping to an Even Keel
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    MT: On the one hand, Otto sort of hopes the shark will bite off one of his arms, since that’s a trendy attribute which will increase his chances of getting a job in another comic strip once this gig is over. (If the other strip were FUNKY WINKERBEAN or GIL THORPE or MARY WORTH, he’d be less enthusiastic, but he figures they’ve already filled their one-armed character quota, so he’s hoping for a strip that hasn’t done so yet — maybe BEETLE BAILEY or BLONDIE.)

    On the other hand, for a guy with a palindromic name like “Otto,” it would be a shame if whatever bits and pieces he lost to the sharks were to spoil his bilateral symmetry. So, as already suggested, maybe we should have a pair of sharks attack from both sides and each bite off one sideburn.

    Given his position in the water and the look on his face, though, I suspect that if he’s losing a pair of matched body parts at the moment, it ain’t sideburns.

  149. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — An entire week or two probably focused on Max. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

  150. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#146): Damn, I forgot to add the “rhetorical question” tag.

  151. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#146):

    “…which ocean creature gives good head?”

    I’m not sure, but a good guess would be Manatees… They can suck the built up algae off the hull of a boat as if it were whip cream!

    So THAT’S how they came to be the basis for mermaid legends!

  152. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Tempting Mark Trail to Punch Him (#133): better safe than sorry!

    epic ‘chops!

  153. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    9CL — No, Brooke. *heavy sigh* Maggots are the immature larval forms of flies. They squirm. They are wingless. They don’t fly. They don’t mate. Stay away from other species in future. Stick to human sex, your unmagnificent obsession.

  154. Roktober
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Soooo Kraven has a successful Las Vegas show that seems to getting a lot of media attention and is making him a national celebrity.

    What exactly is his motive for committing petty larceny again? Is it the hours? Does Kraven just hate working while the sun is up?

  155. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129):

    …is there a Sunday strip on which ocean creatures give good head?

    Not a Sunday strip, but as close is you’ll probably get. Click my name.

  156. Master Softheart
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#61): I, um, was actually going to make a wry and softhearted comment about the fact that Katherine is about Randy’s age and that I would very much like to read the relevant archived storylines if it were true that she had been planning Randy’s wedding since he was a child. But, really, I think that the Palahinuik-ian scene you provided can’t really be improved upon. So, well, thanks.

  157. Peanut Gallery
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @FountainMountainDew (#12): DOPE leads to wandering around, saying things like “I don’t know anything. And yet here I am.”

  158. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#155): I think I’m lucky I don’t get YouTube here. I think.

  159. Calico
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Spider-Ham (#9):
    Hahaha! Love me some SM song fun.

  160. Calico
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Roktober (#154):
    Is Kraven planning to steal Shania Twain’s catsuit next?

  161. TheDiva
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#153): I think the idea was that the two adult flies made sweet fly love under the mistletoe, resulting in little fly babies (hence, the maggots). And somehow I’m not surprised McEldowney has written a gag around insects getting busy.

  162. Calico
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#142):
    Yeah, my friend that passed recently had the moments of anger (threatening to call the cops on other friends, take their copies of his apt. keys away, etc.), and his motility was just shot for many months. Popsicles and ice chips were all he could keep down. Cannabis helped a bit for a little while.
    Fuck Alzheimer’s too. Sad indeed.

  163. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#158): Try this link. IMO, it’s SFW, but some folks may not agree. Depends on where you work.

  164. Bootsy
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Tempting Mark Trail to Punch Him (#133):

    Oh man! Is Mark Trail going to punch you!

  165. Ned Ryerson
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    GT: Valley Tech! Playing Valley Tech!
    Oh my God! Barf Out! Gag Me With A Spoon!
    Valley Tech! Playing Valley Tech!
    Defending patterns and tipping throws
    The Irish bruiser will bust your nose
    Valley Tech! Playing Valley Tech!

  166. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#156): I was thinking today of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. I think it was Bill’s dad that married a young, hot chick. “Wasn’t she a senior when we were, like, sophmores?”

  167. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#163): Thanks for the link, still no go. It’s not the workplace causing the problem, it’s the very slow Internet connection.

  168. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#106): Yah, loaning a priceless tiara to a Vegas animal act is like loaning the crown jewels of England to Ghallager’s comedy show.

  169. Calico
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Powers (#18):
    Must be one of those shitty replacement NFL refs.

  170. Peanut Gallery
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#142): Burger King had banana milkshakes?? That is weird. Were they like McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, only available for a certain holiday? Like, Carmen Miranda’s birthday?

  171. odinthor
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    9CL. — Dedicated to today’s 9CL:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRuWwK51CgI

  172. Bad Wasabi
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    >cinnamon knight

    My sides!

  173. BigTed
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Don’t you wish today’s entire “Mark Trail” were made of palindromes?

    “Otto!”

    “Evil Otto on murder for a jar of red rum? No, Otto, live!”

    “Haaaaaaaaaah!”

  174. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    Is it a testament to Dawn’s integrity that she doesn’t immediately notice Jim’s new arm, or merely her stupidity?

    “Dawn, I’m amazed, you haven’t said anything about my new arm.”

    “New arm? You grew a third one?”

  175. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129): there could be tentacle probing involved.

  176. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#175): a wetter version of this in other words, starring Otto instead of a corgi.

  177. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#169): An NFL replacement ref being brought in from Milford would explain a lot. The Seattle Fail Mary against Green Bay, at the very least.

  178. Daniel
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    MT “I Don’t Care! I’d Rather Sink . . Than Call Brad For Help!”

  179. Daniel
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    DT Is that demon the one Jack Chick says is inside Catholics, Johnny Cash, or Gary Gygax?

  180. bats :[
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I demand to see Dawn and Jim frolicking on the beach tomorrow!
    Or something like that.

  181. bats :[
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#130): gosh, you remember that! Actually I came in 4th place, I think, but I did score a “Loser” t-shirt and an air freshener for my car!
    :D

  182. bats :[
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh, yeah, and it did get published in the Post, which should account for something! Wooo……..freedom of the press!

  183. Muffin
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Valley Tech? Only the Steelers and Cowboys would get such a bullshit PI call.

  184. Master Softheart
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#166): Oh, yeah. Thanks for the memories:

    Ted: Now you’re dad’s going for it. In your own room.
    Bill: Shut up Ted.
    Ted: Your step-mom is cute though.
    Bill: Shut up Ted.
    Ted: Remember when I asked her to the prom?
    Bill: Shut up Ted!

    But at least Katherine in JP is a refined, elegant, middle aged, smoking hot gold digger who could give Neddie lessons on picking up a date in Paris rather than a perky 20-something who looks as though she should be angry at Sophie for taking her spot on the cheerleading squad.

  185. hannibal.smitty
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    The ref’s not throwing a penalty marker. He’s throwing the challenge flag. Something we all should have done a long time ago.

  186. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    DT-The Cinnamon Knight? That sounds like the mascot for a generic store brand version of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And who is his partner. That looks like the outfit worn by a dominatrix who wants to give out nightmare fuel.

  187. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 5th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

  188. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#186): I’m a bit disappointed by the Cinnamon Knight too, but for slightly different reasons. This is Dick Tracy, and I though they had certain standards to uphold: The Blank has no face, Mumbles mumbles, Flattop has a flat top, Pouch’s permanently elasticized skin contains “natural” “pockets” in which he’s keeps stuff, etc., and yet Cinnamon Knight doesn’t have grotesquely twisted cinnamon stick-like limbs, nor is there any indication that he emits a cinnamon scent. At the very least his armor should be made out of cinnamon bark!

  189. mcPerson
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Hold on a minute, when did Lando Calrissian join the cast of Dick Tracy? Because I really need to start reading Dick Tracy now.

  190. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    I think “Pass Interference?” works well as the last line for any comic.

    Pibgorn- Pedantic first point- “Jeannie” didn’t wear stilettos- or heels of any sort, beefwit.

    Not-so-pedantic second point- once again, Brooke seems completely unaware that the “squalid little putz” is far more of an author avatar than a representative of his legion of critics. Man, the hay a psychology student could make of this in a thesis paper.

    9CL- Congrats, Brooke. You’ve found a whole new way to make your strip disgusting. (Oh, and flies lay eggs, Brooke- the eggs hatch into maggots.)

    A3G- Reeeeeaaaaallllly didn’t need to think about Carla having the hots for Greg, thanks. (shudders)

    MW- “I don’t know anything, yet here I am!”- this has got to be the basis for some school of philosophy.

    FW- Panels 1 &2, though not actually funny, are, nevertheless, in the form of a long-existing joke. For some reason, Batiuk decided he needed a 3rd panel (although panels 1 &2 could have benefited from more space). With no actual “topper” to employ, Funky has to point out the obvious, and then say a non-sequiter-but, hey, it’s a phrase from a commercial, so it must be hip and funny, right? Right? Anybody? Bueller?

    Pass interference?

  191. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#161): Thank you, and I’m sure you are right. I was confused by the descending hearts, which seemed to me to indicate that whatzizname arrived and was looking down just a few moments after the fly mating. And even flies take several hours to produce maggots (with eggs in between), as some CSI-type shows love to point out.

    But what the heck. Flies don’t lay eggs in random locations, so if Brooke wants to imply that his characters keep handy stashes of odiferous decaying material right under the mistletoe — fruit, flesh, whatever — I’m willing to believe him. Ho ho ho. Pew.

  192. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#190):

    MW- “I don’t know anything, yet here I am!”- this has got to be the basis for some school of philosophy.

    Skepticism, I’d say, but I can’t be sure.

  193. Red Greenback
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Plugger “compact” discs most often occur between L1, L2 and L3.

  194. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#184): And from “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey”
    Ted: I can’t believe Missy divorced your dad and married mine.
    Bill: Shut up, Ted.

  195. sally
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty ignorant of both (a) football penalty rules and (b) Gil Thorp conventions (other than the annual hideous family Christmas card.) Does it mean anything that the penalty flag has breached the border of the third panel? Is it escaping?

  196. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#51): Let’s not forget how Funky (or Les- I honestly can’t remember, thank god) TRAVELED BACK IN TIME as a result of a car accident, telling his younger self to keep a comic book that would become immensely valuable when he returned to the present.

    Here’s the deal- people noticed back in the ’70′s that old comic books had become collector’s items. This led to people deciding that new comics could be, too- and, like tulips in the 17th century, the very idea (but artificial scarcity) that they were valuable MADE them valuable. But, it couldn’t last- too many people had “mint” editions of the post-Crisis “Superman #1″ for it to have any real value to a serious collector. Then, trying to re-capture the magic, (and the sales, since a lot of customers who actually READ comics would now buy two copies, or more) “variants’ were introduced- special covers that would appear on certain copies, for example. But, since comic shops aren’t always run by honest people, the rarest of those variants would never make it on-sale- or would be priced ridiculously high, which pretty much means they would never be a good investment.

    Fact is, there are maybe 100 comics published in history that sell now for more than $50. And you’ll on;y get that at auction, or as a dealer- as a normal schlub, if you go to a dealer and try to sell one of those, you’d be lucky to get $20.

  197. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#192): I think I see what you did there, but maybe not.

  198. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#190): “MW- “I don’t know anything, yet here I am!”- this has got to be the basis for some school of philosophy.”

    Actually, doesn’t it fly directly in the face of DeCarte’s profound “I think, therefore I am”? Of course, manipulating words to infer the contrapositive might give rise to suppositions such as “One-arm-Jim doesn’t think, therefore he’s not.”

  199. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#86): Broadway Bats is actually an old-time Tracy foe, pre-dating the Penguin by several years- but he always looked like that. It’s Staton/Curtis’ idea that he and Oswald are brothers.

  200. Whoever
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    MT – Otto is in no danger. This is Mark Trail. That fish is no shark. It is just a minnow. Perspective is just used to make it look much larger than it actually is.

  201. hogenmogen
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#196): Another factor about comic prices is the age. Superman #1 is often cited as a grand investment. But it was published pre-WWII. During WWII, parents were encouraged to recycle paper for the war effort. The first things out the door were the kids’ comic books. So there’s a severe scarcity pre-WWII of any comic, and the popular ones can be pricey.

    That being said, Crazy isn’t old enough to have been a comic buying kid pre-WWII, but it is possible that he purchased old comics at conventions or garage sales at low prices and kept them for decades.

  202. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#199): That would be Broadway “Bates”, not “Bats”, of course. My fingurz r stoopid.

  203. bbofun
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#201): Except that the way he’s talking about how he’s choosing what to sell, he won’t be selling anything even potentially valuable.

  204. This Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#51): I thought that Pete fellow was moving to New York to continue writing comic books. Wasn’t he the one struggling with a deadline for a Superman storyline that was published a few years before he started writing it?

  205. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#204):

    Damn, you got me on that one. I noticed it after I posted, but while editing I must have been too infatuated with the contemptuous “pursue a career in collecting comic books” to care whether it was accurate. Yes, he is at least receiving a paycheck for writing them (comic books have writers?).

  206. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#180): Oh, Bats Colon Left-Bracket! I love you!

    // I mean that, of course, in a platonic sort of way. I wouldn’t want Lynn stalking you or anything.

  207. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    MT-Otto, everything will be alright unless you hear the theme from “Jaws”.

  208. commodorejohn
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @Whoever (#200): Perspective? In Mark Trail? Yeah, pull the other one.

  209. This Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#205): Although he is somehow writing them back in time. I’m not sure how that works.

  210. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Archie-It is distasteful how you will use a joke once and never again. From now on you need to reuse jokes even if they become horribly out dated causing people years from now to make snarky comments on the outdatedness of your jokes.

  211. Jim in Wisc.
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Crankenschäft: How many more times is Battie going to recycle the worn out old “Lena-bakes-rocks” joke?

    Mary Worthless: Since nothing has been said yet about Jim’s new arm, I’m beginning to buy into the theory that Moy & Giella hired new artists and didn’t tell them that Jim is supposed to be missing a limb. But I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised after the saga of the ever-changing Dr. Mike Roberts a couple years ago.

    Mock Trail: Punch the shark, Mark! Punch the shark!

  212. tallyHO
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#280): @Mike (#287):

    I swear this reply was started over 4 hours ago.

    McDonnell has a great looking cartoon. That’s never changed. But, it is kind of thin to me. When I read it, I expect just that one extra thing that will make me laugh. It is rarely there. It is like if he had one more panel, he’d be routinely solving the mysteries of the vagaries of human nature. Or, something.

    It is like the last verse of a poem is missing. Yet, what is there does seem to work on a level of greeting card humor and the charm that has.

    There’s nothing wrong with that. But, it is sentimental stuff. In my opinion that works in small doses and can be a great way to set up a belly-roll laugh. But, I dunno.

    There’s no doubt he’s good. I’m certainly not dissing him. You know how it is. When there’s these comic strips where every element is fantastic and every thing clicks then you expect the bar to be matched by the best examples of strips. Consequently, you also want a little more from the ones like Mutts.

  213. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#153): My interpretation was that the flies were having sex for so long that they were able to lay eggs and have them hatch before Amos wandered by, but that’s still (a) stretching the logical bounds, and (b) gross.

  214. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#213): As a bunch of other people have already pointed out.

    //Patience, I do not have it.

  215. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    RMMD-”A banana? If I want put a sexual themed food in my mouth I want to put a melon in it.”

  216. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL-I can picture Brooke McEldowney masturbating somewhere to fly porn.

  217. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#216): Fly Porn = teh hawt

  218. Droopy Says
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: I’m still bemused that the Cinnamon Knight couldn’t roleplay catching a supervillain, but managed to fight a real felon and emerge unscathed. Given his mercurial nature, I’m calling him the Cinnabar Knight.

  219. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    GT— As numerous Mudges have already pointed out, there is no pass interference penalty if the receiver has touched the ball before he is tackled. So, what is going on here? To understand today’s strip, one must assume that the dialogue inker mis-lettered the name of the penalty. Here’s what happened: The Valley Tech player made the catch, and after the play was over, he headed toward the locker room to relieve himself. That’s when the rules-ignorant Gallagher hit him. Gallagher was then appropriately penalized for piss interference.

    See, doesn’t it all make sense now?

    I didn’t think so.

  220. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    MT: “I must pull Otto from the water before the sharks eat him. Then instead of demanding a $2 million ransom from Bill Ellis, with all the legal problems that would cause, Woods and Wildlife magazine can simply pay him $2 million for writing an article, ‘I Shouldn’t Be Alive… but I Am!’ That will make a good story!

    FW / JP: I think the difference between the Batiuk-verse and the Parker-Spencer-Driver-verse can be summarized neatly by the fact that in Westview a character must try to base the entire income needed for his survival on the sale of a few six-month old comic books worth a total of probably less than $5, whereas in the back seat of Alan Parker’s limousine even a simple business deal to decide who gets to go on a book-signing publicity tour with the ex-Judge involves the transfer of a collectible 1957 Mickey-Yogi Topps baseball card currently worth about $600. In the Parker-Spencer-Driver-verse, a my-life-depends-on-it situation like Crazy’s would involve nothing less than the exhuming and sale of the mummified corpses of Mickey and Yogi themselves. And yes, I know that Yogi Berra is still alive, but in the Parker-Spencer-Driver-verse that’s just a trivial detail that is easily resolved.

  221. Peanut Gallery
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#173):

    “Now, slam in a gibe! Big animals won!”

    “Liar, Trail!”

  222. Arabella
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    MT: That is beautiful lettering of “Otto!” It looks like calligraphy.

    FW: Okay, I can suspend my “disbelief” only so much. This is beyond the limit.

    re Mutts: I agree it can be a little sappy, but I would miss it if it were gone. It was my Mother’s favorite comic and she always seemed to get a laugh out of it.

  223. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#221): Or when Mark’s saving him leads Otto to repent of his evil ways: “Liar was I, ere I saw Trail!”

  224. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#223): Yeah, I know it’s not exactly a palindrome, but then Mark Trail isn’t exactly a comic strip, either.

  225. wossname
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    Hey, all you Mudgeons with knowledge of old comics – is Zap Comix #0 worth anything? I’ve hung onto it all these years mostly for sentimental reasons, but always wondered if it was worth a fortune. Or a small fortune. Or a bag of chips.

  226. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#131): It’s a fair cop.

    @odinthor (#135): I’ll be happy to sit down any time and talk about what might have been. (And note that the syndicate let the strip cease with Scaduto — not the original creator, but he’d pretty much made it his own over the decades. A rare moment of tastefulness, probably from low sales, alas.)

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#152): I was actually sporting a sort of mutton chops setup for my gig as the butler in “The Sound of Music.” Now that it’s over, I’m letting the part in between grow back.

    @hogenmogen (#166): Heh. I also liked Bill’s line later on, to Freud, about “some Oedipus issues.” Yeah, I hear that.

    @bbofun (#196): I owe a lot to the “death of Superman” thing. This somewhat overpriced comics shop went out of business, with deep discounts, back in Virginia. It’s where I got my copy of Space Western 19 and other goodies for fire-sale prices. The regular comic bins contained what was probably hundreds of copies of “The Return of Superman after He Wasn’t Entirely Dead #1″ which was the investment that put them on the road to bankruptcy. (In much the same way, a theater chain in our town in Georgia had like three theaters, when previously they’d covered much of the lower part of the state. It all went sour when they went in big for the 1976 KING KONG movie.)

    @wossname (#225): There’s a price guide for undergrounds. If the cover price is 35 cents, you might have something.

  227. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    FC-Amazing. For a kid who just licked all those envelopes he still has enough liquid to spit.

    Hagar the Horrible-”Especially since we don’t share the same religious beliefs as the Christians.”

  228. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Otto, before you die can you tell me who on the island you were sleeping with so I can sleep with them tonight.”

  229. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#225): Here ya go. Hope your version is a first printing, in Near Mint!

  230. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Kraven’s also the reason I lost all my money at the casino and am now forced to spend my time in Vegas watching television.”

  231. Anonymous
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#19): I don’t remember any mention of April’s mother, but she said her father “left” her his gun collection. I assumed that he has passed on.

  232. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    MT The tragic end of Otto. Hey! Mark will have quite a fish story to tell Rusty! That should put him off ever wanting to go fishing with Mark again.

    FW I seem to have lost track (imagine that!) – why exactly is Crazy Harry getting rid of his books and comic book collections?
    Oh, never mind. I’m just not interested.

  233. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#192): Or it could be existentialism, your choice.

  234. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#232): Harry’s selling off his comics because the local post office is being closed, he’s been let go, and apparently he doesn’t get a pension or unemployment benefits, and can’t be transferred, and has no savings or any money in the checking account, and his wife isn’t bringing any income, or, really, anything resembling what actually happens when someone becomes unemployed.

  235. Esther Blodgett
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    FW: The male characters with facial hair are all faux-intellectual douchebags, and the male characters who are clean-shaven are all mopey losers. I’m way too lazy to look up a picture of Batiuk, but I’m going to guess he has half a moustache and a beard on one side.

  236. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    “There’s no bear around. I’d better step in and eat that mustachioed putative evil-doer so we can move this awful plot along,” says no shark ever.

  237. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Brooke! Yeah, I’m talking to you!

  238. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#236): But are these sharks or VILLAINOUS sharks?

  239. Old Folkie
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#229): From the description, I think my Zap Zero is worth $100!

  240. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#234): How much would that yield? Are these really rare collectible books and not the $1 a book at the Brandeis book sale kind? And isn’t Westview over-saturated with comic books?

  241. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Per an earlier posting about how the DETROIT FREE PRESS was refusing to run the DOONESBURY dictator story this week, I just went online to the Freep website and found the dictator strip of the day, which was great, even though I am now confused.

  242. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#214): But you pointed it out differently. And thanks for reminding me that the dweeb looking at the maggots is named Amos. I’m enough of a geek to wonder which fly species is being portrayed. Maybe it’s a very special fly species with the ability to reproduce in dust bunnies. It’s too much to hope that Thorax has died and the flies are making use of his giant corpse.

  243. Dawn Weston
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    (sigh) “Kraven used to beat the shit out of Dave.”

  244. Chaze, minus a few kidney stones
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    Been AWOL this week dealing with kidney stones. Imagine pushing a watermelon through a garden hose. I now have a greater appreciation for mothers and natural childbirth.

    To make my mood even better, tomorrow is my 60th birthday. Maybe that will spur me on to some floatworthy snark. Either that or I will wake up a Crankshaftian Plugger and it will be all over.

  245. This Guy
    December 5th, 2012 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#235): Batiuk looks basically just like Fat Failure Funky.

  246. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze, minus a few kidney stones (#244): After my third kidney stone, I was talking to my sister, and she said that Adele Davis (pop nutritionist) said that Magnesium would help my body metabolize the calcium — rather, it would precipitate it bit by bit instead of having it accumulate and form stones. I started taking a daily supplement (the smallest one I could find), and haven’t had a kidney stone since then. It’s been about twenty years now. YMMV.

  247. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    I’m not as good at this as y’all, so forgive me a spot or two on this, my first attempt at parody:

    I wanna live with a Cinnamon Knight
    I could be happy, as high as a kite
    With a Cinnamon Knight.

    A dreamer of sex tools
    I run in the night
    You see us together,
    me ‘n’ my fleshlight,
    My Cinnamon Knight.

    Sweet fetish vixen,
    a kiss and a blow
    Piranha relaxes
    and waits between psychos
    For her Cinnamon Knight..

    A dreamer of sex tools
    I run in the night
    You see us together,
    me ‘n’ my fleshlight,
    My Cinnamon Knight.

    Dick send me honey now
    I need some loving somehow
    I need a yellow coat
    Piranha baby loves deep —
    Yeah…yeah…yeah.

    I know, I know. Don’t quit your day job. Still, it doesn’t make appreciably less sense than the original…

  248. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#238): You check and see if they have facial hair. I’m not going near them.

  249. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#247): *applause*
    And thanks for the memory of a great song. *Amos dusts off his 78, drags out his Victrola, and turns the crank*

  250. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#238):

    If the sharks have mustaches then they are villainous.

  251. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#249): <Bows> It’s not quite *that* old…

  252. Liam
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    MW-Don’t worry, Jim. Dawn doesn’t know anything either and there she is.

  253. Jim in Wisc.
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#235): In this picture, he kind of looks like Les Moore, but with scruff instead of the pseudo-intellectual goatee.

  254. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

  255. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Grandma got run over by a Ripley’s

    BRANDON GRIMSHAW lived alone on a tropical island in the Seychelles with only his dogs and 120 giant tortoises for company!

    Today Brandon is better known as Brooke McEldowney.

  256. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#254): Yup. That shark is gonna be punched.

  257. kanomi
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    These jokes are way too good. Josh’s I mean, not the actual comic strips. I don’t have much to add here except Mark Trail would be the first to legalize pot because he’s very visceral, very feral, very natrual. It’s a plant that grows wild. How can it be more dangerous than a bear? Or a smuggler? Or a bear kidnapped by smugglers trained to smuggle things?

    I think I mean Mark would be OK with it.

  258. Sgt. Stoned
    December 5th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: Otto experiences the best orgasm of his life as a gigantic shark gives him a blow job.

    F&E: Drat! I thought it was Pla-TOE.

    MW: Day 4 on the pier and Dawn has still not noticed that Jim has grown an arm back.

  259. Vince M
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    MT – If Otto is indeed relieving himself, he’d better take care – he’d be *wishing* for sharks after an encounter with the DREADED CANDIRU!

  260. Jamus The Bartender
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: Safewords are for chickenshits.

    Luann: Okay, Mom and Pop DeGroot thought nothing of Elwood proposing to Luann, but a late night conversation with Quill on the Troublealert screen, and they freak out? They’re not gonna get any grandkids at this rate.

    Gil Thorp. What’s that thing the referee is throwing? A Pac Man ghost for a bad call?

  261. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#260):

    They’re not gonna get any grandkids at this rate.

    You want Luann to procreate?

  262. Vince M
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#229): Oh wow! I expect mine isn’t in $100 condition, but I couldn’t part with one of my favorite Mr. Natural stories…

  263. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze, minus a few kidney stones (#244): Happy Birthday and Many More! Not so much for the kidney stones.

  264. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze, minus a few kidney stones (#244): To make my mood even better, tomorrow is my 60th birthday. Maybe that will spur me on to some floatworthy snark. Either that or I will wake up a Crankshaftian Plugger and it will be all over.

    For some no doubt deep-seated reason that I don’t even want to contemplate, I actually misread that as “wake up with a Crankshaftian Plugger”. At least it would take your mind off the kidney stones.

  265. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#216): But… why would you want to?

  266. Poteet
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#247): Good ‘un! I could hear the geetars…

  267. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Finally, a fragrance worthy of Dagwood Bumstead.

  268. Baka Gaijin
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#267): Jughead Jones might be interested, too.

  269. Jamus The Bartender
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2012/12/ahoybootysloanesamspread.jpg

    Now THIS is the sort of thing that will single handedly revive the newspaper industry.

  270. Jamus The Bartender
    December 5th, 2012 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#261): It’d be a plotline Evans couldn’t write his way out of.

  271. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#267): I’d imagine you could count queek in on that too.

  272. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#270): He already can’t write himself out of a plot. He just seems to stop a story line when he gets stumped and starts up a new one,

    Maaaaa! Greg Evans started up a new plot line for no good reason!

  273. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

  274. seismic-2
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#270): What, the baby couldn’t move away to Hawaii or Australia?

  275. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#274): Being of demon seed, the baby could move to wherever the hell it wanted.

  276. Sequitur
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    How to keep your meter reader away if your meter reader is Baka Gaijin.

  277. Dartpaw86
    December 5th, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    This is the point where Peter blames all crimes in New York throughout history on him.

  278. Poteet
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    S-M — I know that feeling, Peter. It’s like when I visit my mother and we watch JEOPARDY and I yell out the right answer.

  279. Droopy Says
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: A burglar who breaks into a home and steals nothing of value? At last a criminal worthy of Spiderman’s talents!

    Funky & Flunky: I can’t help looking at this strip, just to find different reasons to say “Fuck you, Batiuk.” First, getting rid of some classic sci-fi? Fuck you, Batiuk. And why get rid of the books? It’s not like used books bring a fortune, even when they’re autographed. So is Crazy about to be evicted from his home? Fuck you, Batiuk. Is the Cancerville library likely to have any books as optimistic as “The Green Hills of Earth,” “Earthlight” or “The Martian Chronicles”? Fuck you, Batiuk. And what kind of research and development would Crazy do? Even if he’s writing his own SF, only an idiot gets his science from other people’s science fiction. Fuck you, Batiuk.

    Family Circus: Don’t worry, Bily, Santa is just like the rest of us. He looks at you as little as possible.

    Mock Trail: It’s funny because Otto can’t swim. He’ll drown before the sharks can eat him.

    Pluggers: A Plugger pause to notice he has some plastic wrapper in his sandwich. That would never happen. Pluggers cram the entite sandwich in heir mouths and swallow it unchewed. Then belch.

    Dick Tracy: Somebody please tell me this is meant to be comedy.

  280. Baka Gaijin
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#276): EEEEEE! strikes meter reader off career field list.

  281. Sequitur
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#278): Poteet Parker.

  282. Sequitur
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#281): aka, Spider Cutie.

  283. Sequitur
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

  284. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 6th, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#240): Given that he’s only selling off his most recent stuff, and duplicates, I can’t imagine he’d get that much for them, even if he wasn’t in Westview.

    Stupid comic is stupid, in other words. *sigh*

  285. Poteet
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#281): Them’s fightin’ words.

  286. DaveyK
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Pass interference? Are you kidding? The rules clearly state that it is not pass interference if the ball is uncatchable by the players involved. That player can’t even bend his fingers, which means any ball thrown to him is uncatchable.

  287. Poteet
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#282): Okay, possible minor argument words.

  288. Poteet
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — If it means getting away from the little horror that is Max for a week, Joan should be enthused about any proposed destination, including Cowflop, Iowa, let alone Paris.

  289. Poteet
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Why is June lounging around and preparing food in a purple bathing suit and gauze shawl? Never mind, shut up, Poteet.

  290. Charly
    December 6th, 2012 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    I am a B+ student at BYU, and I never sex Skyped in high school. (Although I may have indulged post-high school; shhhhh, it’s against the Honor Code.) Luann De Groot is theoretically wanting to study musical theater at Julliard. Honey, you’ll be lucky to go to cosmetology school at this rate. Tiffany “Anti-Mary Sue” Farrell is probably accepted to an internship with CBS in Century City this summer, and workshopping a script with the “Girls” chick. Bitch.

  291. Charly
    December 6th, 2012 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Apparently, Skype wasn’t even released til my junior year. Sweet Boxcar, I’m old.

  292. Mr. O'Malley
    December 6th, 2012 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#226): So should I hold on to my Bruce Bairnsfather collection?

    RMMD: When I was getting to the end of my chemo, all meat tasted like gasoline and most other things tasted like glue. Fruit was about all I could eat, so I lived on smoothies. Luckily it was summer so there was plenty of fresh fruit. So that part is actually fairly accurate.

    The Dairy Queens around here don’t know how to make a Chocolate Chip Banana Blizzard, so I wasn’t able to try that as an option.

  293. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 6th, 2012 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#289): She changed into it to sunbathe shortly before all the big developments happened; I guess it’s been too busy for her to change back?

    Or perhaps that suit was really expensive and she’s determined to get her money’s worth before she has to leave?

    Of course, this is Rex Morgan. The explanation maybe as simple as Boobz.

  294. Dale
    December 6th, 2012 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    Unless they can work in a “professional courtesy” joke, Otto has to die.
    Have we ever seen a human killed in MT? Al Chavez was killed, but we never saw a trial.
    How will Mark find his way back to the island?
    Will he bring back some body parts to prove his story? Otto’s skull would be good to help the “dental records” people.

  295. gleeb
    December 6th, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Sorry, lady. No way Ed’s gonna not be a destructive jerk for a few weeks.

    ‘bean: For Mopey Pete’s sake, Funky, just offer the crazy man a job at your lousy pizza joint and put us all out of this misery.

    Phantom: Any human command, eh? It could be a raccoon! Get the fox on the case!

    A&J: Ahhh! Bentley’s Generication has struck!

    Dick: Two really misguided people are planning to do something that will likely end up getting people killed, and it’s romantic!

    Pluggers: …are intensely stupid.

  296. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 6th, 2012 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#273): Gah! Sorry for stealing your bit, even if unintentionally…

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