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Legacy comics putting in effort? What is the world coming to?

B.C., 12/8/12

The current B.C. management seems perversely intent on taking the gimmick essentially designed for clip art reuse — “character reads joke out of a book sitting on a rock” — and actually put some effort into it. Should the Wiley’s Dictionary rock be moved down by the seashore, so B.C./Thor/maybe other blond caveman whose name I don’t know can enjoy the pleasant breezes through the beach grass along with his terrible four-word joke? Sure, why not!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/8/12

What does it take to turn Rex’s omnipresent supercilious scowl into an extremely restrained smile? His inferiors recognizing that he deserves free stuff, of course! I’m pretty sure he doesn’t really care about marine mammals one way or the other, but I assume he’ll still sit there in the stands, watching the orca-frolic, thinking “Yes, this … this is my due.”

Apartment 3-G, 12/8/12

Wow, so Greg’s been chosen to play James Bond, one of the most famous and high-profile roles in all of entertainment, and Margo hadn’t heard anything about it? He must have a terrible publicist.

241 responses to “Legacy comics putting in effort? What is the world coming to?”

  1. lorne
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    The only reasonable explanation for Apartment 3G this week, is that Margo and Greg are talking about some sort of porn parody of James Bond.

  2. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MW: Pitching for Lance Armstrong.

  3. Col. Havoc
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Peter. His name is Peter. We’re done here.

  4. Chareth Cutestory
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G: Recently, my girlfriend and I went to go see the new James Bond movie, Skyfall. In the previews before the film, however, there was a movie trailer for some Jason Statham movie where he’s running around in a cowboy hat. In that time between trailers when its best to deliver a zinger I said, “A British guy in a cowboy hat? Bullshit.” So that leads me to ask about the reverse–is Greg, whom I’m assuming is American, going to put on an accent and culturally desecrate the British?

    (And also, before anyone points out that Doctor Who wore a cowboy hat in a recent episode, ok, fair enough. But he’s a Time Lord, not British. Let’s not have this argument.)

  5. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G-If I was Greg I would fire my publicist.

    A3G 2-Sorry but every James Bond is English and I don’t read you as being English. I got a better chance at being James Bond than you do because my grandparents were English immigrants.

    Spiderman-”What? A criminal has figured a way to get around something. That’s impossible. Everyone knows that criminals follow predictable patterns.”

    Spiderman 2-Peter you’re giving Jameson the wrong finger. It’s the middle finger if you want to flick him off.

    FC-But Mommy says pointing doesn’t solve anything.

    MT-Otto you don’t seem like your normal self today. You seem a little flat.

    MT 2-What did that shark do to Otto? He’s flat.

    MW-”Now let’s go to the park and fly a kite. Kite flying solves all my problems.”

  6. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD-”Gee thanks. The guys in ‘Judge Parker’ get money thrown at them and what do I get two tickets to see some giant fish.”

  7. Downpuppy Weatherwax
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Love is…the old basket trick.

    A2M3G Like everyone I had assumed that Greg was just in some knockoff spy series. So now he’s George Lazenby, except that makes Skyler Diana Rigg, which is just all wrong. OTOH, “all wrong” fits perfectly into this Eejitplot Ultimate.

  8. Dartpaw86
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    You know, Rex Morgan, Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Gil Thorpe and Apartment 3G all just seem to meld together as the same thing.
    Boring people (Except Margo, never Margo) all talking about random things that I couldn’t care less about and don’t even understand (Because I only see snippets of the story from what Josh puts up, so I’m many times missing half the storyline)

    In other words, I find soap comics extremely boring and tedious to read through compared to the fluffier ones like Beetle Bailey and Family Circus which you don’t need to understand anything to get Josh’s gags. Am I in a minority here?

  9. Powers
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#5): “Every” James Bond was most emphatically not English. Just for starters, Connery is Scottish. Brosnan is Irish.

  10. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    A3G-I’m pretty amazed that there are no English actors worthy enough to be James Bond that they have to turn to their American cousins to find an actor to play James Bond.

    A3G 2-Today’s comic gives me a definite time period when this series takes place and it’s not the Seventies it is the Sixties. Back in the Sixties there was a James Bondish film called “Casino Royale”. It predates the Sean Connery Bond films and it was done as a comedy. It had Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, and Orson Welles in it. I can’t remember exactly what happened but this must be the James Bond film Greg has been cast for.

  11. Cloudbuster
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    MW: There is a little game Karen Moy plays every few weeks called “How many banal platitudes can I fit in one panel?”

  12. Illustrator Steve
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MT – “WHY are you doing this, Trail?”
    “I’m doing what any normal, caring person would do for a fellow human being. I’m doing it for the humanity. I’m doing it for YOU, Otto, to help you as a friend would help you! ….and, of course, for the $2,000,000.00 in ransom I’m going to charge your little village for your safe return!

  13. This Guy
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Ooh, Mary is not gonna be pleased when she hears Dawn spouting cliches from Oprah and Lance Armstrong. She does not tolerate people stepping out with other meddlers.

    Plugs: Pluggers call each other uneven as an endearment. Nobody knows why.

  14. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    for True Fable.

    it’s snowing outside. I need one of these to protect myself.

    LoFo Supes.

    squeetah rasslin’.

    The Daily Puppy is a cutiepie vizsla.

    stairs make corgi sad. *cuteness overload face*

  15. TheDiva
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Powers (#9): And Lazenby’s Australian. Of course they all talk funny and put u’s in words where they don’t belong, so it’s pretty much all the same by Hollywood standards.

    A3G: And now I’m trying to picture the stiff, awkward, entirely-above-the-waist version of the Parkour chase in Casino Royale.

  16. TheDiva
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    9CL: But really, it’s about art, not sex.

    C’shaft: Even Lena’s awful baking is more beneficial to others than you.

    FW: Oh I get it, it’s a subtle metaphor for company layoff practices! The satire was so nuanced that it took me a while to pick up on it.

    Luann: Sometimes, all you can do is just stare at the stupid.

    MW: And once again, the moral of Mary Worth is “Don’t think about sad things! It’s, like, depressing and stuff!”

    Phantom: “You going to be at this long, Ghost-Who-Talks-To-Much? I got cubs to feed!”

  17. Chip
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Not only had Margo NOT heard anything about it, she had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! And of course she summarily dismissed the client chosem to play his co-star! Since TWO clients were just too much for her to keep track of!

  18. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Diva: Shold’nt that be “Parkor” chase from Casino Royale…if we don’t pt ‘u’ in words it doesn’t belong.

    I dobt it thogh. Something seems a little bit wrong here.

  19. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Since I don’t follow Mary Worthless outside the Curmudgeon, did Jonathan Charterstone Seagull crap on Dawn’s bicoloured head? Please tell me he did.

  20. Discordian
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#18): Yeah, you misspelled “wroung”.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#15): re: A3G: Chase? There’d be no chase in that version. They’d just stand around talking about the situation instead.

    Speaking of A3G………

    A3G: “Uh… Mr. Craig? I’m from the studio. We all just want to tell you that you’ve been doing a bang-up job as James Bond! Media rightly has you possibly being the best since Connery himself! …You’re welcome, Mr. Craig. Oh, one more thing…. you’re fired. We found some random bland, interchangeable, talentless American to assume the Bond role. The studio guards will escort you on your way out.”

    BC: According to Mason and company, being really lazy doesn’t mean you’ve got to be really lazy about it.

    RMMD: “In addition to paying me for my services, which I assure you are quite expensive (thanks to this incident and the exposure it’s given me, my normally exorbitant fee has gone up)? That’s awfully darn nice of you!”

  22. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    By the way, what’s the reason behind the facial structure of characters IBM RMMD? Why do they all have cheekbones like battering rams? Is it a sexual display, like ibex horns or something? Am I on the way to a Nobel Prize in Anthropology here?

  23. hogenmogen
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    Margo: Say it for me, please!

    Greg: “Shaken, not stirred.”

    Margo: No, the other one.

    Greg: “Good morning, Moneypenny!”

    Margo: NO, the OTHER one!

    Greg: What other one? Is it this?… “Are you fond of languages? I’m a cunnng linguist.”

    Margo: No, but I like the way you think!

  24. steve
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    RM,MD: Herb, how DARE you address me by my first name! Even my parents are required to call me DOCTOR MORGAN, you worthless old fool.

  25. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    *In*. Not IBM. How did autocorrect manage that? Is my Samsung haunted?

  26. hogenmogen
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#22): It certainly begs the question: With razor-sharp cheekbones, do you ever need to shave?

  27. debussy fields
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT– Wait a minute. We’re missing a lot of action between the panels today. In Panel 1, Mark is half out of the water somehow while hanging onto a rope with one hand and Otto with the other. Then he’s suddenly IN the boat, effortlessly hauling Otto in. That must have been a hell of a struggle getting from Panel 1 to Panel 2 and we weren’t allowed to see it. Then we really miss the good stuff between Panels 2 and 3: Mark drags Otto into the boat, ties his hands behind his back, pulls down his pants, and begins to have his way with him, leading to Otto’s dazed question at the end.

  28. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Maybe the women rub their razor sharp dogmatic arches on the men’s faces each morning. Kind of like big cats grooming each other.

  29. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    *zygomatic*. Fuck!

  30. Tom Goo
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    WILEY’S DICTIONARY

    TSUNAMI:The wave which is about to sweep you out to sea.

  31. hogenmogen
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4): @Liam (#10): It was established that Greg was from the east side of the pond. Just because he doesn’t consistently drop foreign references like Quill, Gallagher or that GT tatoo guy doesn’t mean that he changed the land of his birth. Bucky Katt’s friend throws so much English slang that it’s part of the joke – so he gets a pass. Greg uses the words that an actual Brit would use when he’s accostomed to being around Yanks. Kudos to A3G for being boring, I guess.

  32. Zerowolf
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The look on Rex’s face says it all: “If I were a Parker-Spencer-Driver, I’d be given the deed to to Seaworld!”

  33. hogenmogen
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    BC: I’m more amazed at the anatomy here. Tall, spindly legs lacking any musculature ending in enormous, slab-like feet. Since there’s really no space for reproductive organs under that .. whatever he’s wearing .. we can assume that these creatures are evolutionary dead ends.

    And Peter is the brunette, not another blonde.

  34. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#1):

    Bondage. James Bondage.

  35. seismic-2
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4): Actually, the very first actor to play James Bond was in fact an American, namely Barry Nelson in an hour-long live TV production of “Casino Royale” for the drama series Climax. The details of the production (Peter Lorre as Le Chiffre!) are here. The TV drama was aired live in 1954, just one year after that first novel in the series had been published, so virtually no one had heard of James Bond yet, and they didn’t know that he was anything other than the CIA agent that this production made him out to be.

    In any case, I just can’t see Greg in the role, even though in Panel One he shows off his acting chops by doing a pretty good imitation of a halibut. Of course, we should all realize that Greg’s “Bond” movie is actually just a grade-C spoof of Skyfall, called Skyler Fail.

    RMMD: Rex is not pleased because someone has just given him two tickets to Sea World. He is pleased because he thinks someone has just given him a taxicab.

  36. Horace Broon
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    BB But … but … what?

    DT: Yes, Dick, he looks ridiculous. On the other hand, you’re wearing a trenchcoat and fedora made out of the same material as reflective safety vests, so maybe you’re not in a position to throw stones.

    GT: Freeze on everyone laughing and roll credits.

    HtH: Time to get out Ye Olde Viking Restraining Order, also known as a battleaxe.

    MW: “Forget all the bad stuff! Go home every day and wonder why your sister isn’t there!”

    Phantom: Are cats known for patience? Most of the ones I’ve known have an attention span of maybe three seconds. As soon as Phantom stops doing interesting things like jumping off falling branches, she’ll wander off.

    S4th: Ted’s brother has had one line, and already I’m getting a “JD’s brother in Scrubs” vibe. This pleases me.

  37. Anonymous
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#1):
    That’s it.

  38. Peanut Gallery
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    MW – I think she’s hinting that he should take steroids.

  39. Black Drazon
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    BC: Now safely assured that Johnny’s ghost was not haunting their drawing studio, the Harts immediately began foreshadowing a climate change storyline that will consume characters, literacy and tree-based telephones alike. They will be free at last.

  40. Bad Wasabi
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    The 3G commentary made me lol.

  41. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#15): @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#18): I was going to ding the Diva for “parkour”, thinking it was supposed to be “parcours”, but according to Wikipedia, a guy named David Belle changed it back in the 90′s, changing the “c” of “parcours” to a “k” because it was more dynamic and stronger, and to remove the silent “s” for the same reason.

    Nevertheless, “(a) practitioner of parkour is called a “traceur”, with the feminine form being “traceuse”, which sounds kind of wimpy to me.

  42. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#38): I was thinking it was different performance enhancing drug.

  43. Digger
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    Greg’s performance as James Bond will no doubt cause Daniel Craig to roll over in his grave. I know Craig is alive, I’m just assuming that the shock of being replaced by this bland twit would be more than enough to kill him.

  44. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Mutt & Jeff: Who is Eneas? Isn’t that Mutt in bed there?

    Anyway, M&J ran from 1907 to 1980, seventy-three years. At six days a week, 52 weeks a year, that makes roughly 23,000 strips they could possibly run. So why would they run a strip specifically designed for March 21st (of some year) NOW?

    // I know, I know. They just don’t care. Is the process of picking the daily strip computerized, do you think? Or does some non-English speaker in Vietnam or Thailand or Queens just pull a strip at random out of some big crate?

  45. Brock Sampson
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    A3G: Maybe Greg is playing Bond in an off-Broadway musical adaptation of one of the films? Live and Let Die would be a good one.

  46. Flimby
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    RMMD Upon closer inspection, Rex realized his free passes to Sea World were just scraps of printer paper with “DR. MOGAN” written on them in ballpoint pen.

  47. Gerry
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Nationality is not such a big deal. But James Bond does not have a baby face.

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Gerry (#47): but I suspect that lots of babies have his face. . . .

  49. Red Greenback
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: Talk about your recycling.

  50. Binder's Butter Beans
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    I’m sure I’m not the first to say it – but I REFUSE to believe anyone from Apartment 3-G is awesome enough to play James Bond. In fact, the whole A3G universe is so square that I just assumed James Bond didn’t even exist in it. They’ve heard of James Bond? What the hell? Why aren’t they cooler, then?

  51. seismic-2
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps it’s because I’ve been living under a rock, but I was previously unaware of the existence of this. Now that I am aware of it, I shall do my very best to forget all about it.

  52. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#36): Are cats known for patience? Most of the ones I’ve known have an attention span of maybe three seconds.

    Sure, unless they are looking at potential prey. Then they can become very focused indeed.

    // That said, “the patience of a cat” is hardly proverbial.

  53. Red Greenback
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    The Man with the Golden Tie.

  54. Stev0
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Margo will be a Bond Girl! Excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk…

  55. Chareth Cutestory
    December 8th, 2012 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#31): @seismic-2 (#35): Ok, turns out I was wrong one two counts here today. But can you blame me for not knowing Greg Cooper’s backstory? His publicist is dreadful!

  56. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#50):
    A3G universe is so square that I just assumed James Bond didn’t even exist in it.
    While initially, I thought something similar, apparently, it is true. They have James Bond Movies in that universe. So, that narrows down when the strip takes place. It is definitely since 1960 and no earlier.

    @Gerry (#47):
    James Bond does not have a baby face.

    He prefers milkshakes to martinis. He’s adorable!

    Go Goo Goo and Gaga Gaga over Baby Faced Bond!

  57. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#56):

    Oh. I’m guessing you are an au pair. Both of you, for little ol’ me?–Baby Faced Bond

  58. Jamoche
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    No, no, it’s a bio of the Caribbean bird expert James Bond; in this world there’s no Ian Fleming to see a copy of his book when he’s looking for a character name.

  59. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    JP – Neither the father nor the groom want a big wedding, but both are terrified to tell the step-mother, and would prefer to waste a fortune on a ceremony noone else really wants rather than say No. When they get home, the step-mother greets them at the door and informs them about the fortune she just spent at the spa, pampering herself. We are supposed to loathe these characters, right?

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#57): brings a new meaning to “shaken, not stirred”.

  61. Austria
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    BB: This comic just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Soon it’ll be nearly impossible to distinguish from those Arthur comics.

    MT: Is it just me, or is Mark standing up in that first panel?

  62. Dwyer Mc Kerr
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Frank Bolle draws like he hates line…and colour (forgive the spelling please, I’m Irish) anyway, yeah, if he could do less he would. I still read it though.

  63. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    What’s that? You might not realize that this is a pacifier and a gun! That sucks for you!–Baby Faced Bond

  64. waffre
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    When I first glanced at Rex Morgan, somehow the lines in the first dialogue bubble got flipped around in my brain and I read, “Sorry to put you in a concentration camp!” And I thought to myself, ‘Wow, maybe this storyline wasn’t as boring as I thought!!’

  65. I speak Jive
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#14): If I could crochet, I would so make that! I wonder if there is a knitted version?

    Rex Morgan – They’re just toying with us, aren’t they?

    Sally Forth – Thank you, thank you, Ces, for making me laugh out loud. The situation is funny, the jokes are funny, but what really makes it is that everything is so perfectly in character. Well done.

  66. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo: “Come on Greg. be a good sport. Say it for me.”
    Greg: “Do you expect me to talk?”
    Margo, “No Greg, I expect you to die.”
    Greg: “Fine. ‘My name is Pussy Galore.’”
    Margo: “I must be dreaming.”

  67. Mysterion
    December 8th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Greg’s “incredible news” was just that he sat through the entire James Bond marathon on Syfy. Carry on.

  68. MySpoonIsTooBig
    December 8th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Two comics actually made me laugh out loud today- Sally Fourth, and The Pajama Diaries. I know the latter doesn’t get discussed much here, but it’s really grown on me. Sure it’s not C&H level great by any means, but it’s one of the solid ones that you can tell is drawn by an actual living person who is familiar with the outside world.

    And considering I spent much of my childhood wondering why I didn’t see other Jewish folks in the media doing Jewish stuff like my family did. And I also spent much of my childhood creating ungodly blender concoctions. So, this strip is perfect for 10 year old me is what I’m saying.

  69. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man:
    That last panel is hilarious!

    Parker’s hand gesture intimidates the hell out of Jamison!
    If there were a panel four then we could expect to see JJJ on his knees cowering
    in fear, begging Parker to not use that left hand to smite him.

    Ooooorrrrr, maybe JJJ sees that Parker has the tiara around his left wrist. That probably shouldn’t surprise me. It is possible Spider-Dufus is trying his damnedest to frame Kraven.

  70. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Greg as James Bond? BWAHAHAHAHA! *wipes brow* I never thought A3G would actually be funny. I was wrong.

  71. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#57): a bio of the Caribbean bird expert James Bond

    I have that book! Birds of the West Indies, 4th Ed. 1980. An excellent field guide, and my constant vade mecum when I worked in Cuba and PR. (And yes, Ian Fleming did borrow the name from the ornithologist, I read somewhere.)

  72. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G — I’m sure some Mudges know something about the movie business, which I don’t. If this were a typical deal, would Greg be lined up for the lead before investors were approached? Or will certain investors, already committed to this project, get the bad news and stroke out? Will it be gales of laughter or ambulances? Either way, I want to watch.

  73. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#71): He did indeed, and it had a definite effect on the quality of the ornithologist’s life.

  74. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#71): Apologies for my previous comment. I was told years ago by someone that the ornithologist James Bond was often pestered by fans of his fictional namesake, but I can find nothing about that online, which makes me think I was misinformed.

  75. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#71): This, from the NY TIMES, is mildly amusing, however –

    Mr. Fleming wrote years later to Mr. Bond’s wife, Mary Fanning Wickham Bond: ”It struck me that this brief, unromantic, Anglo-Saxon and yet very masculine name was just what I needed, and so a second James Bond was born.”

    ”In return,” he wrote, ”I can only offer you or James Bond unlimited use of the name Ian Fleming for any purposes you may think fit. Perhaps one day your husband will discover a particularly horrible species of bird which he would like to christen in an insulting fashion by calling it Ian Fleming.”

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#74): … the ornithologist James Bond was often pestered by fans of his fictional namesake.

    No, he wasn’t pestered by fans, as you point out. However, the eminent ornithologist narrowly survived several assassination attempts by confused supervillains.

  77. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Ah, sweet mystery of life, until Brooke got hold of it and beat it to death.

  78. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

  79. Calico
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#68):
    Someone help me, I actually laughed at Crankshaft today.
    He did something nice with a little irony and an inside joke, without hurting Lena’s feelings, at least for the moment. Is Crank getting sensitivity training?

  80. Calico
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Happy Hannukah! : )

  81. Calico
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#53):
    MW – The girl with the bland platitudes.

  82. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#31):

    That shows how much I stopped caring about this storyline when I don’t even pay attention to a detail like that.

  83. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#78): To further add to the confusion, the CIA’s top agent for many years was a chap called Roger Tory Peterson.

  84. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: It ain’t Rex Morgan, MD if the gravy train doesn’t keep rollin’.

    A3G: Do you think they’ll let him play Bond with the blue suit/orange tie combo with which he seems so comfortable?

    MW: Dawn, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how strong he lives, he won’t live up to your “it was this big” hand gesture.

    FW: “Those of you who are about to have your covers spattered in blood and grey matter may find it especially difficult to find new work.”

    9CL: What’s that thumping on the back of Amos’ cello? Best not to ask.

    Baldo: If Santa sees those grins on your faces, he’s going to think you plan to chop him up and eat him.

    JP: The mating call of the trophy wife, ladies and gentlemen.

    BB: Whoever stole Beetle’s identity is also in the Army, or at least is sleeping in the barracks. So add that to the list of skills you can pick up in the military?

    Blondie: And of course for Dagwood it’s the holidays year round.

    Phantom: Oh please, let Kit be dangling a ball of yarn in front of the lioness come Monday.

    DtM: Okay, sowing marital discord has to be worth a few menace points.

    S-M: In the second panel, Triple J gives a salute that matches perfectly with his mustache.

    Lockhorns: Congratulations to Hoest and Reiner on putting the names of football teams on the pennants. I wouldn’t put it past them to think the baseball season was still raging in early December.

  85. Señor Tortilla
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    DT: “You know, Cinn, I often ‘accidentally’ kill people too. About two years ago, I let someone get eaten alive by rats. How cool is that?”

    FW: Remember…mental illness.

    GA: Last panel…totally looks like a hand puppet.

    MT: “As you’re a person with facial hair, I’ll punch you, then throw you back in. Protocol, you know, nothing personal.”

  86. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76):

    However, the eminent ornithologist narrowly survived several assassination attempts by confused supervillains.

    Why, he barely survived his expedition to see Dr. Auric Goldfinch in the wild.

  87. Red Greenback
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    B.C.:
    I had to look up the acronym “FLP” after seeing “©2012 John L. Hart FLP”

    Here are some of the results:
    FLP Flippin, Arkansas, USA – Marion County Regional Airport
    FLP Fiji Labor Party
    FLP Front de Libération de la Palestine
    FLP Fake Login Page (phishing technique)
    FLP Feel Lucky Punk?

  88. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#59):

    We are supposed to loathe these characters, right?

    That’s the eternal question, isn’t it? Still, imagine the strip as written by Greg Evans and you’ll realize how easy to take they are.

  89. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G-I get it now. Greg will be the new James Bond film but he won’t be James Bond. Nah he’s just an extra. He’ll probably be some nameless civilian that gets killed.

  90. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    The name is A3G Bond. James Bond. Agent 700. With a licence to be a pill.

    And we have the commander. M. Never forget M. Or Margo will kill you.

  91. This Guy
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#84): What’s that thumping on the back of Amos’ cello? Best not to ask.

    Now, that’s what I call extended technique.

  92. seismic-2
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76): But his reputation did help him by making it much easier to observe boobies and great tits.

  93. This Guy
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @MySpoonIsTooBig (#68): At least it’s not Edge “Bread Products” City.

  94. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 8th, 2012 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#91): Yeah, I keep getting spam emails on how to extend my technique.

  95. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS Did I ever tell you that Spark Plug is my favorite character?

    A3G Oooh! James Bond! I hope there will be lots of scenes from the filming. I can’t wait to see the love scene between Greg and Skyler. Just imagine the excitement!

    MT “Why are you doing this, Trail?”
    “Relax, Otto. It’s a cavity search. I have to make sure no fish swam up your rectum.”

    FW “And others of you will be ground up, pulped, recycled, and turned into something more useful, like packaging. And still others of you will be burned by an angry mob because you are offensive dreck. Kind of like me.”

  96. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#16):

    Luann: Sometimes, all you can do is just stare at the stupid.

    It’s pretty bad, isn’t it? I haven’t figured out where this is headed. Is it supposed to show how clever and creative Luann is? Or will Luann figure out that this long-distance relationship is impractical and unsatisfying and isn’t going to work out? Or is it simply that Luann is a pathetic loser with no clue about relationships? ‘Cause I got that part of it already.

  97. Alison
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    “Rex Morgan”: Ooh, the smug, it burns. Rex, you are taking this free shit way too personally. A business gives free tickets to someone who’s been in the news because the business is hoping to get some free publicity out of it, not because they think you are the bestest person ever and you deserve to see fishies for free. That would be like thinking famous design houses lend movie stars gowns to wear to the Oscars because, golly gosh, the movie stars are just so pretty. Um, no, the design house is going to get an assload of publicity for it, that’s why. I hope Rex falls in the aquarium.

    “Luann”: I can just see this strip twenty years from now, with Quill still living in Australia full-time, and Luann and their kids in the USA. “Look, everybody, Daddy in Australia is coming with us to the park today! See, here he is, over Skype! Say hi to Daddy!”

    “Hi, Daddy!”

    “G’day, kids!”

    “And guess what, next week Daddy in Australia is going to come with us via Skype to the circus! What fun! Here, Quill Jr., it’s your turn to carry Computer Daddy this time.”

    (I know…this will never happen, because Luann and Quill will never have sex, so, no kids.)

  98. Peanut Gallery
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76):
    “Do you expect me to sing?”
    “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to squawk!”

  99. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#98): bleedin’ deceased!

  100. Tom T.
    December 8th, 2012 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    My guess is that Greg just landed the lead in James Bond: The Animated Series.

  101. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#80):

    Happy Hannukah! : )

    Yes! Latkes are frying now!
    “I flip my latkes in the air sometimes…”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSJCSR4MuhU

  102. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#79): Alas, the bad birdhouse design bugged me so much that I couldn’t fully appreciate the Crank doing something nice for a change. But if he had been handing out some other woodworking project, I would have smiled.

  103. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#83): Hahaha! Wait, so maybe Greg is actually going to star in a movie about the ornithologist? No, that would be too awful.

  104. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#98): Never! Dr. Bond was a twitcher, not a squawker!

  105. Jamus The Bartender
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Okay, i’m gonna call this now. Gunther’s gonna give the old ” I like Rosa a lot, but it’s you I really love, Luann” speech, pretty much blowing straight to hell any chance of this foursome ever getting together for anything, bowling or otherwise.

    Sally Forth: Wow, two whole weeks of this? I think Hilary might have been right to complain.

    Dick Tracy: Really? I mean, yeah, he could hand out sandwiches to the homeless, and tell kids to stay in school and off drugs, like the real life, hockey gear wearing superheroes do, but …..well, maybe Dick knows something we don’t, as Batman pretty much ripped off everything Tracy did….

    Okay, now for something completely different. Strips Jamus Hasn’t Looked At Yet.

    Bound And Gagged.
    Okay, yeah. First off, I think I should mention that this title is COMPLETELY misleading. It seems to be more “absurd slice-of-life” stuff, and anyone expecting anything OTHER than that, is going to be completely disappointed. On with the show…

    Good Points: Well, the cartoonist seems to have a wicked sense of humor, one strip showed a chiropractor straightening out a yellow crooked road sign, and letting the reader imagine the ensuing hilarity and carnage. Another, just in time for Xmas, showed a brickmaker loading bricks onto a truck labeled “Mom’s Fruitcakes”. As one ‘Mudge mentioned, I do loves my trainwrecks, and B n’ G does not disappoint. Artwork is okay too.
    Bad Points: That title. While it does suggest a certain subversiveness, anyone expecting to find Joe Paycheck tied up by Dottie Dominatrix will be severely disapppointed.
    Snark Factor: Quite a lot, starting with the title that gives us a check that it can’t pay.
    Sex Factor: Yeah, see the above…
    Geek Factor: Meh, possibly…but since it didn’t come through on the bondage thing, why look for summer movie references now?
    Will Cassandra Cat show up in a crossover?: Emphatically, no.

  106. seismic-2
    December 8th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#103): The director of the Bond flick told Greg that he and Skyler Roan “will make beautiful murder together!” So yes, this is a movie about crows.

  107. aravind
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: When you’re good to Shamu, Shamu’s good to you.

    Alternatively, I’m expecting Shamu to turn out to be the object of some sort of seaworld cult, who will attempt to commit suicide to join their deity in the tank of the afterlife. Thanks to Rex’s able hands, of course, they’ll all be saved. And he’ll end up with even more freebies.

  108. Arabella
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#97): Hey, it could happen if Luann and Quill adopt. No muss, no fuss, no intimate contact. And Gunther could be Luann’s live-in nanny.

  109. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”That’s right, Margo. I get to be the bartender that makes a martini for James Bond. I knew that role of Frightened Inmate Number Two would open doors for me.”

  110. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#105):

    Bound And Gagged.
    Okay, yeah. First off, I think I should mention that this title is COMPLETELY misleading. It seems to be more “absurd slice-of-life” stuff, and anyone expecting anything OTHER than that, is going to be completely disappointed. On with the show…

    I looked through a bunch of them, too. I agree with most of what you mention.
    This is hasty on my part but I’m gonna say some of them come across as him hating people. Maybe I’m completely wrong. Maybe he is a she. I dunno.

    But, it seems like he takes a lot of jabs at stupidity, like Dilbert.
    The drawing is nice to look at, not like Dilbert.
    Sense of humor is varied. (I don’t read Dilbert anymore.)

    Yeah. The title is totally misleading. I guess the emphasis should be on “gagged”, as in joked.<—-not that that is even a word.

  111. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#106):

    Here’s holding out hope that this is a ruse and that guy wasn’t a director and he just wants to try and off both actors.

    >Wot’s that then? Jolly O’l Moiduh! Well blimey me keelhole and swab me Q-tips! Thas quite alri squibble frible mutter chortle chortle chortle! Ish time fuh Moiduh! [/blimey vision]

  112. Señor Tortilla
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    BB: I agree that in the last past month, Beetle Bailey has gotten increasingly weirder.

  113. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    By the way, I’ll forego any attempts at cockeyed cockney dialogues from now on.

    But, what I heard on the street is the reason why Tall, Dark and Baby Faced got the role of Bond. James Bond. is because rumor has it that when he walks in a room, butter melts. Even if it isn’t in the same room!

    The fact that Margo has not fully succumb to his wiles says a lot about how much Bond. James Bond needs to turn up the heat! Brrrrrr!

  114. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Here’s your Hitchcock!

    Missing third panel:
    Sarge: But, but, all i have in my pocket is my hitch cock!

    Missing fourth panel:
    censored for those who don’t want to see how vicious small critters can be.

  115. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    You may wish to ask yourself? Does he have any ammunition left? Of course I do. My diaper is fully loaded! –Baby Face James Bond

  116. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    BB-I’m going to be beaten up all day tomorrow and it won’t even be for stealing his identity either.

  117. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4):

    In general, I wholeheartedly agree, but….Daniel Craig also played made a great cowboy character in “Cowboys and Aliens”!

    // Also loved Harrison Ford in this movie too!

  118. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#117):

    I should spend more time proof reading….

  119. Arabella
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    SF: I also laughed out loud at this strip today (more of a snort, actually.) I hope it can stay at this high level of humor for the visit; unfortunately the wedding story got a little tiresome before it dragged to a close. (Does anyone else think that Jackie will be pregnant when the Forths return home after the holidays?)

  120. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Smirky – Aw, look. Crazy Failurepants is talking to his mouse-shit shedding Failure dolls, and pretending they’re all fired like he is. This is the kind of grappling with real-life issues one naturally goes to the funny pages to read over and over. I can’t wait for the cancer.

    Mark“Why are you doing this, Trail?”
    Okay, I’m officially glad that Elrod decided to zoom in and only show Otto’s sweating, grimacing face. (Which might turn out to be all of him, come to think.)

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#y16): Mine’s the eighth comment in that thread! When my roomie and I moved in there, they asked me if I wanted another chair or anything, and when I said sure, they took me into the burned-out wing (still burned out in 1977 or so), where they were storing extra furniture. I was in three different rooms there, for various reasons. The first overlooked where the dome was, though it wasn’t visible from above. Another room I was in had the biggest bathroom ever — it used to be a bathroom for a whole floor. The toilet, sink, and tub were all in one corner, and I kept my bike on the other side. There was a bed being stored there too, and a door (not openable) on the hallway.

    @Baka Gaijin (#29): Merry was so brave? How? I thought she tumbled over the railing when the barge bumped the pier.
    Yes, but since this is Mary Worth, she had time to make a really, really brave and uplifting speech as she fell the six or seven feet to the water.

  121. Sequitur
    December 8th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#5):

    A3G-If I was Greg I would fire my publicist.

    I think Margo should fire Greg’s publicist.

  122. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I admit it. I laughed at Dilbert today without irony.

  123. Calico
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#101):
    Latkes NOM

    Poteet, do different kinds of birds require different types of abodes?
    I love birdies but don’t know too much about their real estate needs. : )

  124. hibbleton
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    MT: The first panel is wrong on so many levels. Either the water is only waist deep which means Otto didn’t really need saving and their boat has run aground since Mark is standing above its draft, or Mark is perched on the back of a partially submerged sea turtle.

    MW: brave shmave. Forget it. She’s dead! Dead. Dead. Dead. She’s Wearing a pine overcoat! Capisce? Now let’s enjoy our lives. Hey, we’re on a pier. Do you like to fish. I once caught a fish this big in this very spot.

    Love is ..not even making an effort today.

  125. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    By the way, just a little bit of self-aggrandisement I wanted to share with you lot…Raghead is now on Dissident Voice.

    http://dissidentvoice.org/2012/11/raghead-the-friendly-neighborhood-terrorist/

    Unfortunately they inadvertently renamed the strip ” Raghead the *friendly* neighbourhood terrorist” but then you can’t have everything.

  126. Calico
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

  127. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    And now I just noticed they spelt it “neighborhood” as well. Faugh!

  128. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    A couple others:

    Family Circus: I just read the other day that Legos are so expensive because they’re engineered to fit with every other set manufactured, going all the way back to the early 70′s. Judging by the console tv set the little melonheads are sitting in front of, it’s a theory.

    The Lockhorns: Jets and Giants? How about the Eagles and the Cowboys? The Packers and the Bears? The Pats and pretty much anybody?

    Mark Trail: Why are you doing this, Trail?
    Otto, Otto, Otto. You didn’t really think this was the only time you’ll nearly drown, do you?
    There’s just something about a man whose legs have been ripped off by a Great White that really turns me on.
    Orville P. Snorkel sent me.
    You do realize this is a gay boat, right?
    I can’t let you die! I haven’t punched you yet!
    Andy’s waiting.
    Have you ever seen me and Che Guevara in the same room? No? Chico, ¡hay una razón para eso!

    Mary Worth: a. I’m not liking the direction Jim’s looking when he agrees to live his “breast best life.” b. Between “live strong,” where JP has been recently, where Rex M.D. seems to be headed, and all that cross-hatching (it’s not Ziggy, but it’s pretty fancy for today’s comics), I’m guessing we’re in for six months before Jim finally figures out that testosterone injections won’t make your arm grow back.

  129. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#128): Oh. Apparently the reason nobody makes bulleted lists in the comments here is that you can’t make bulleted lists in the comments here.

  130. Liam
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth-”Really? I just assumed since those people were ignoring me it was you guys.”

  131. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#126): I know! I first saw that a couple of years ago and thought it was very well done and very clever. And they’re so sweet and clean-cut. Can’t get it out of my head!

  132. Uncle Lumpy
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#129):

    • You can fake it, though.
    • Just enter “&bull;&nbsp;” and your text. No hanging indents; sorry.
    • And you don’t really need the “&nbsp;”, either.

  133. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    If Señor Trail were Che Guevara he’d have been duty bound to punch himself out.

  134. Alison
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#108):
    I thought about adoption, but I figure it would be difficult to do when they live on different continents. (I could be wrong on this but I can’t see Evans ever letting Quill come back to the States ever.) Then again, Luann and Quill would probably at least try… anything to avoid actual physical contact, right? Hell, they would probably go steal a baby out of a stranger’s stroller if they decided it was the only way to have a kid without having sex!

    I am imaging Luann on the phone:
    “Hello, Acme Adoptions? My boyfriend and I want a baby. Our address? Well, do you want mine, or his? …Yes, see, because I live in the USA and he lives in Australia. …What? No, I’m not kidding, why would I be? What’s wrong with the baby’s father living in Australia? Do you have like some kind of prejudice against Australians or something? …Hello? You didn’t hang up on me, did you? …Shit, not again. This is the sixth agency in a row that did that.”

  135. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#132): Ssssoooo…

    <A>Bulleted lists (without hanging indents) can be faked on this site. </a>

    Is that it?

  136. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    MW Oh, great! At first, Jim wouldn’t go near the pier; now he won’t leave it.
    Look, Jim, the pier is no place to hang out – the pier is not a Charterstone pool party!

  137. Uncle Lumpy
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

  138. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Alison (Comment No. 134):

    Oh I don’t know that they’d have to approach an adoption agency. Toni and her “brother” would probably be more than willing to give Luann Shannon. Then everyone can live happily never after.

  139. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 8th, 2012 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#120):

    Okay, I’m officially glad that Elrod decided to zoom in and only show Otto’s sweating, grimacing face. (Which might turn out to be all of him, come to think.)

    He’ll have a great future at Scary Gary.

  140. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#137): Pretty much like orgasms in When Harry Met Sally, or human emotions in Apt. 3-G, then. Good to know.

  141. seismic-2
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Why are you doing this, Trail?”
    “Well, I came here to go bonefishing, and since all the flesh has been stripped off yours from the ribs down, I thought you would make good bait.”

  142. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#139): And maybe some day he’ll rise to become head of the syndicate!

  143. Sequitur
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Oooh! There’s a prize on my box top. It says Ripley’s.

    ANIL BERALA of India, had a 3½-inch-long fish removed from his lung after swallowing it during a game!

    See? That’s what happens when you play “Suck the Fish!” Are you listening Mark Trail?

  144. This Guy
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#128): [MW] After that, Jim will just take to smearing testosterone gel on his stump and waving it in the faces of women and children.

  145. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#106): Wow, I had forgotten that. One way or another, this flick will be a disaster.

  146. Peanut Gallery
    December 8th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#120):

    Smirky – Aw, look. Crazy Failurepants is talking to his mouse-shit shedding Failure dolls

    So, we’re thinking hantavirus, right?

  147. Chareth Cutestory
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#117): Yes, although, Daniel Craig slaps on his American accent for the role, so I can suspend my disbelief. In this other movie, Statham just slaps on the cowboy hat and keeps his regular accent.

  148. Sgt. Stoned
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    MT: Otto tossing about in the ocean and not a hair out of place. Who says greasy kid stuff doesn’t work?

    MW: “The bad stuff is two, maybe three months behind you, Jim. Get over it.”

    A3G: I’ll say it again: the movie is about James Bond the ornithologist the cover from whose book Ian Fleming took the name for his character.

  149. Alison
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#138):
    Aw, yes, I forgot about Shannon. She and Luann deserve each other so that would work quite nicely. “Shannon, you are a selfish little snit!” *Chomp* “OW! My fingers! You selfish little snit!” Yisss. Sounds good.

  150. Poteet
    December 8th, 2012 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#123): Thank you for asking! *resolves not to ramble* I’m sure Crankshaft was trying to be nice for once, but the problems are (1) Perches. Different cavity-nesting birds prefer different nest boxes, from teeny wren box to giant wood duck box, but boxes shouldn’t have perches. Perches only help nest predators, including (invasive exotic) house sparrows that kill bluebirds. (2) Ventilation. Without sizeable holes and/or slots, eggs and baby birds can cook to death, and hotter summers are making the problem worse. Tiny holes usually aren’t enough. (3) Dark roof. Bat houses usually benefit from dark colors, but on nest boxes, dark roofs tend to add to the heat problem. I’m sure the Crank would have built great houses if he’d followed good plans, available on the internets.

  151. Deborah Tinsley
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Greg as James Bond??? I don’t think so. More like a James Drury lookalike in a remake of 70ies TV Western, The Virginian. “Smile when you say that mister.” Sheesh, I am so old.

  152. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#146): Could be. A steady cancer diet gets boring. Varying things like that makes the difference between a great strip and the Platonic ideal of the perfectest comic strip ever.

  153. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    @Deborah Tinsley (#151): More like “I wish I could stop smiling when I say this, Mister. But the tinsmith forgot to give me a second expression.”

  154. tallyHO
    December 8th, 2012 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    People seem to keep overlooking what makes Greg Cooper the perfect actor to play Bond James Bond:

    His appearances in Apartment 3G change from panel-to-panel. His cameleon-like powers would likely make him the perfect secret agent man.

  155. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#132): • And you don’t really need the “ ”, either.

    Yes. That really annoys Randall Munroe.

  156. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#128): I just read the other day that Legos are so expensive because they’re engineered to fit with every other set manufactured, going all the way back to the early 70?s.

    Huh? That doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to continue to make it the same way? I mean, all the machines used in the manufacturing are already built. If the dies wear out, and you have to replace them, it shouldn’t cost any more to make the replacement dies to the same specs. If the machines wear out, ditto.

    And they are just using plain old plastic, not rare hardwoods, or rhino horns… The cost of plastic goes up with the cost of petroleum, I suppose, but it’s still the cheapest material available, no?

  157. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#147): You know, Englishmen did emigrate to the American West and become cowboys. Wodehouse mentions it.

    // So did Poles, Russians, Frenchman… any sort of accent is theoretically plausible.

  158. Droopy Says
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Behold Kraven the Klueless, who doesn’t realize that you announce the break-up after you’ve taken advantage of the chick. Or–could this be a cunning ploy of great subtlety, which depends on Kraven acting like an idiot so Showgirl Sherry will run off and seek comfort from Peter “Who, me?” Parker, thereby keeping Spiderdick busy because Kraven already knows that those two are one and the same, and . . . naw. Kraven is an idiot.

    Flunky Wanker: Satan had the idea, but Funky picked it up and ran with it. Poor Satan, outclassed by a Tom Batiuk character.

    Family Circus: Don’t look up, Jeffy, don’t look up!

    Mark Trail: That is just so cool . . . buzzards don’t get enough respect.

    Pluggers: Come on, Brookins, to a golfing Plugger, a tree is a welcome sight. It spares him the long, footsore trudge to a restroom, then back to the course. Andy Bear probably sliced that shot on purpose.

    Phantom: Would Kit really be stupid enough to carry a live cellphone in that situation? “Honey, I told you, never call me when I’m breaking into the office!”

  159. bats :[
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#29): GREAT Freudian slip there (or your spell checker is truly sentient, and you should be very, very afraid!)!

  160. seismic-2
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    @Chareth Cutestory (#4): Also, you have to remember that there were Hollywood-style classic Stetson “cowboy hats” and there were “hats that people actually wore in the old West”, which were in fact far more commonplace. What we think of as a “cowboy hat” is most often the Stetson Carlsbad hat, although Stetson’s original Boss of the Plains hat was probably more common. In any case, hats like those Stetsons were rather expensive, so true cowboys were less likely to own them than were the more prosperous farm owners and merchants of that era. Probably the most common “Western hat” was in fact a Bowler (known in America as a “Derby”), such as was famously worn by Billy the Kid and Butch Cassidy. It is of course rather natural to think of an Englishman as wearing a Bowler, and no doubt many of them in fact did just that as they established their homesteads in the New World.

    Here are the hats worn by a couple of Englishmen playing roles in Hollywood Westerns: Richard Harris in Clint Eastwood’s The Unforgiven and John Cleese in Silverado. I think both movie “cowboys” look quite distinguished (as an English gentlemen always should, of course!) in their Western headgear.

  161. Col. Havoc
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @Stev0 (#54): Firefly reference! Firefly reference! Cool…

  162. LurkerMan
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    Be nice to Margo—she was just distracted by trying to figure out just what-the-heck Spiderman is doing in Las Vegas.

  163. Mr. O'Malley
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#160): I think the only movie cowboys who wore hats that were anything like real cowboys’ hats were William S. Hart and Tom Mix. Western painters like Frederic Remington and the rest of that school were pretty good with hats, among other things.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#157): Quite a few wealthy Englishmen invested in the cattle business in the 19th century, and many others, rich or poor, sought their fortunes in the old West. There’s an interesting book on the subject, “Marmalade & Whiskey” by Lee Olson.

  164. Baka Gaijin
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Strips

    Jeffy, there a lot of websites who’ pay big money for photos taken from your below skirt level viewpoint.

    I laughed at Garfield. Is senility setting in?

    Add “golf” to the list of thingd Pluggers are horrible at.

    I’m pretty sure Marvin hasn’t ever done what his Grandad did in today’s strip.

  165. Droopy Says
    December 9th, 2012 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#164): Is there a list of things Pluggers are not horrible at? I have plenty of time to read something that short.

  166. Droopy Says
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    reFOOB: But Passchendaele and Dieppe were so much fucking fun, eh?

  167. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 9th, 2012 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    RMMD – How many months have we now spent getting to know Delores and The Strippers and making Rex into a local hero and international celebrity? And all for a two-day visit. I guess the suspense is wondering how Rex will cure Delores’ cancer, June will cure Delores’ attitude, and the two of them will set up the strippers in new careers as party planners (with no special party favors on the side this time, of course) before they have to board the plane tomorrow morning. Oh, and wondering how much low-grade free stuff they will pick up along the way (Sea World passes, free clams – things a Parker/Driver wouldn’t even deign to acknowledge).

  168. gleeb
    December 9th, 2012 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Slylock: The fox knows a guy called Shady lives to betray moral codes.

    Val: Impressive, but shouldn’t Val have thought to ask about strategy before the day of the tourney?

    ‘shaft: Of course, since these are supposed to be spoken words, noodly son-in-law just assumes Ed is comparing his daughter to a cow.

    Curtis: Well, who couldn’t use new underwear?

    ‘bean: Fat failure Funky assumes it was the devil. In reality, it was the readers, hoping for a swift cardiac arrest. Not a bad gag, actually, but I have grown so to hate Funky that I still want him dead. Not Les, though. I want Les to live long and long under the torturer’s knife. Smirk that off, Moore.

    Phantom: Mrs Walker’s* hair seems to be growing back pretty well. I just hope she will be successful in pinning the killing of her rival Savarna on these Rhodian admirals.

    Piranha: A better doughnut gag, because I don’t hate the characters and the cartoonist.

    Bizarro 3-G, or June Morgan, RN: I’ve seen people praising this because the ailing character isn’t all Noble and Long-Suffering. I get that, but without some understanding of the person she was before the big C hit, just jumping in here makes her seem a bit harsh. I guess that’s why I didn’t go to nursing school.

    Spidey: You shouldn’t toss showgirls away so carelessly, Kraven. Someday they may be scarce.

    Archie: Hmmm, that’s a suspiciously large empty space around the title Glee. Anyway, Moose’s question is a damn good one. Is the doc a simple military history, or is it about the simmering tensions dating back to 1787 that led to the war, or is it a marxian analysis of slavery as a part of class struggle between laborers and owners?

    Dick: I smell a costumed threesome in the offing. At least if Tracy doesn’t kill them first.

    Doones: That goat did not expect to be in the comix today.

    *For, “Woman who wears a dress covered with *”

  169. CanuckDownSouth
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    DT I feel like this should have big “Don’t try this at home, kids!” warnings: WARNING: LARPing, let alone cosplay, does not simulate actual crime-fighting conditions.

    There was a guy around here who liked putting on a Superman costume and standing at a particular intersection. He once got some nice mention in the paper for helping out during an altercation (breaking up a fight? blocking a purse-snatcher? – I forget), but that didn’t change the fact that he was middle-aged, overweight, and not able ot run around as a costumed vigilante.

    Archie Do schools tend to have TV connections these days? The AV when I was going through was only to show recordings, which would eliminate this. (Also being a responsible teacher and going back in from time to time, or having a comprehension quiz right after the broadcast)

  170. Downpuppy Weatherwax
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Margo reacted like a human. Obviously, bats:[ tampered with the A3G script machinge.

  171. Downpuppy Weatherwax
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    On further consideration, bats:[ would more likely have said “You’re fucking Harry Potter!”

  172. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Zits: Connie wants a threeway.

    BB: UnSPEAKABLE FILTH!!! srsly, how did this get past the editor?!?

    9CL: Brooke ran out of panels before the “Amos & Edda humping on the floor” scene. thankfully.

    SBp: women don’t get sports, amirite?

    Bizarro: needs the splash panel from Friday’s QC.

    Ghost-who-services-on-Sunday.

    6Cx: LOL!

    Foxtrot: *snurk* well played.

    rMC: still better than ASM.

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#172): “Zits: Connie wants a threeway.”

    Connie uses Interpretive Dance.

    it’s not very effective.

  174. Ukulele Ike
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#169): “that didn’t change the fact that he was middle-aged, overweight, and not able to run around as a costumed vigilante.”

    Or fly, I suppose.

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#163): Quite a few wealthy Englishmen invested in the cattle business in the 19th century, and many others, rich or poor, sought their fortunes in the old West.

    Good point. So a cowboy with an English accent wouldn’t have been much of a rarity before WWI. I am also thinking that German cowboys may have been fairly common. Karl May, a German writer little known to the Anglophone world, wrote an immensely popular series of fanciful cowboy and Indian books back then, and may have influenced a lot of young men to “Go West.”

  176. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#156): According to dude, in order to meet this goal, they have to* hold their products to insanely high standards – I think it was .0005 mm. That’s a whole lot of quality control.

    *Or at least, they do.

  177. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Archie: @gleeb (#168) notes that “that’s a suspiciously large empty space around the title Glee.”

    It is indeed. Ken Burns’ Civil War came out in 1990, which fits the general theory here at CC that the current Archie strips are recycled from the early 1990′s. (I use the word theory here in the same sense that Darwinism is called a theory: That is, essentially an established fact.)

    The show mentioned in the last panel, Glee, started in 2009 and is still being produced. Of course, that can’t have been the show in the original strip. I’m guessing it was Baywatch, which fits nicely into the space, and was the most popular show of the time. Any other ideas?

    // But how are they watching prime time tv shows in the middle of the school day in 199x? Did Miss Grundy tape the Civil War documentary, and then one of the students swapped the tape out with another? Probably Jughead, that scamp!

  178. Shrug, of THE COMICS SNARK MURDER CASE
    December 9th, 2012 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#50):

    “In fact, the whole A3G universe is so square that I just assumed James Bond didn’t even exist in it.”

    I’d be surprised if they have reached the “Philo Vance” level.

    /// Ebenezer Grice, maybe.

  179. Shrug, From His Secret Volcano Lair
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#76):

    “No, he wasn’t pestered by fans, as you point out. However, the eminent ornithologist narrowly survived several assassination attempts by confused supervillains.”

    Especially by a rival ornithologist who just happened to be named Ernst Stavro Blofeld. No relation, but the pressure from Birdy Blofeld to attack Birdy Bond was just too strong for him to resist. The Story has its own impetus.

  180. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#176): Yeah, but… they already got the machines to do that! The investment was made fifty some years ago, and has been paid off many times over. Lots of manufactured things are held to very high tolerances, and aren’t all that expensive. (Think nuts and bolts and stuff.)

    Wiki says, btw, “The modern Lego brick was patented on 28 January 1958, and bricks from that year are still compatible with current bricks.”

    So, I call bogus. They charge high prices because they CAN charge high prices.

  181. Shrug, the Voice of Cod
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Zerowolf (#32):

    “RMMD: The look on Rex’s face says it all: “If I were a Parker-Spencer-Driver, I’d be given the deed to to Seaworld!” ”

    On the other hand, if he were a Westview resident he’d be lucky to be allowed to wrestle the Seaworld seals for a chance at a rotting fish.

  182. Voshkod
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    “Say it for me, please.”

    “Okay, but just once. ‘Some taxonomists prefer to stress differences . . . .’ What’s wrong, Margo?”

    “Doesn’t it go, ‘Bond. James Bond.’”

    “You thought I was playing that Bond? No, I’m playing James Bond, author of A Field Guide to the Birds of the West Indies. It’s a small part in an ornithological porn movie. You know, a birdie flick for featheries. Maybe if I had a better publicist . . . .”

  183. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, From His Secret Volcano Lair (#179): That’s true! Birder Blofeld was jealous of Birder Bond’s success. Blofeld was hampered in his ornithological expeditions by his insistence on always bringing a large white cat with him, which tended to scare off the birds.

  184. Shrug, Older Than Sin But Not as Alluring
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    @Deborah Tinsley (#151):

    “Sheesh, I am so old.”

    At least you’re not making Ebenezer Grice jokes.

  185. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Voshkod (#182): a birdie flick for featheries

    Ha! Refulgent!

    Featheries? People who like to dress up as birds, perhaps with sexual connotations? Are there such folk?

    Never mind. Of course there are. I won’t even bother to google it. Never underestimate polymorphous perversity.

  186. Red Greenback
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#185): The really wacky ones are the ones who dress up like park statues.

  187. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Older Than Sin But Not as Alluring (#184): …making Ebenezer Grice jokes.

    I think that qualifies as the W.O.R.D. (Weird Obscure Reference of the Day).

  188. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#180): I will give you the same response I give my wife every time she proves me wrong: “Well, you’re a stinky poo-poo head.”

    Which, roughly translated, means “You’re probably right, and I just don’t want to admit it.”

  189. TheDiva
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Wrong again, Margo. Meet the new Katniss Everdeen.

    C’shaft: As plays on words go, that’s not bad. Too bad it’s entirely dependent on the spelling of the word and would never come across in a spoken format.

    FW: Nice try, Funky, but we all know even Satan gives Westview a wide berth.

    MW: Prosthetic limbs and incessant texts solve everything! Another Mary Worth success story!

    PBS: I am SO tempted to do this now.

    SM: Did this woman burn all her street clothes? Why is she still running around in ostrich feathers and fishnets?

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: Jughaid’s tree house appears to be much better constructed than his parent’s shack.

  191. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#189):

    SM: Did this woman burn all her street clothes? Why is she still running around in ostrich feathers and fishnets?

    In this version of Las Vegas, everyone only walks around in their costumes: showgirls wear their glitter and headgear (of course, it gets a bit awkward for those in the topless revues), Kraven is always clad in his mane or cape or whatever the hell that mangy thing is, and Peter Parker perpetually bears the disgruntled scowl of a lazy-ass, ineffective loser.

  192. Calico
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Hagar – But does he have a Goomah? I think not. Score one point for Hagar.

  193. Kinghasnoclothes
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Tank: Tulk!

  194. Calico
    December 9th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#173):
    I think Connie is dancing to “Telephone” by Lada Gaga (a good song, actually)

  195. Señor Tortilla
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    BB: Surely I wasn’t the only one who noticed the tooth switched in the photo?

  196. Jedzz
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    BC: In the land of troglodytes and YouTube comments, any dictionary that confuses “Suite” and “Sweet” must be trusted.

  197. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#188): “Well, you’re a stinky poo-poo head.”

    In reply to that, I will have to put on my clerical raiment, and refer you to 2 Samuel 17:23 “…he saddled his ass, and arose, and gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died,” and also to Luke 10:37, “Go, and do thou likewise.”

  198. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): Be careful to saddle the right ass! Clergy are always getting in trouble for mistakes there.

  199. seismic-2
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198): Indeed. Exodus 20:17 commands us, “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Note that it says nothing about coveting thy neighbour’s wife’s ass.

  200. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 9th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Sunday funneez

    Dilbert: It sounds like Scot Adams is saying that Jesus was the original Pointy Haired Boss. If nothing else, I’m curious as to the kind of letters this will generate.

    SFx: Cashing other people’s checks isn’t a felony I’d attempt if I were functionally illiterate. Just sayin’.

    S-M: Kraven is starting to prove himself a worthy—read “inept”—opponent to Spider-Man. “Let’s see, do I dump my lovesick accomplice just before the heist, or just after? Before? Or after? Ah, probably doesn’t matter.

    Archie: I’m guessing this was funnier the first time it ran and it said “DYNASTY will be right back!”

    Luann: TJ, while attempting a Mick Jagger chicken strut, is mercifully silent. Truly it is a Decemberween miracle.

    MW: Jim is saying “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship because just like Rick Blaine, he just shot and killed some German guy. And just like Louis, Dawn will keep mum about it.

    SSmith: “An’ I hear the boys ‘r’ flashin’ each other.”
    “Golly, now I gotta go up an’ look.”

    JP: Isn’t “You look ten years younger” a left-handed compliment at best, implying that she usually looks old? I can see where Judge Emeritus Parker is coming from, though. The younger she looks, the richer everybody knows he is.

    Lockhorns: If you don’t want to see your husband act like a hound, don’t take him to parties thrown at brothels.

    A3G: As a general rule the Sunday 3Gs are unnecessary if you’ve been reading during the week. Today, however, Margo’s holy grawlixes justify the do-over.

    DT: End well this will not. [/Yoda]

    Lio: So he’ll have the itchy red spots to accent his green sweater?

  201. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    a while back, someone was looking for spider girls.

    I found a cute one that wouldn’t frighten Miss Muffett away.

    (note that it’s on a monstergirl tumblr that does include nsfw images, so if your workplace is paranoid, click with caution.)

  202. This Guy
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    SUNDAY

    DT: Rule 63 Venom vs. Rule 63 Green Arrow.

    FC: I did not want to know about Jeffy’s leg fetish. At all.

    JS: “Is this game appropriate for young children? Well, I could look at the box and see if it has a big ‘M’ on it, but that would take too long.”

  203. Baka Gaijin
    December 9th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#165):
    Top Ten Things Pluggers Aren’t Horrible At:
    1. Complaining
    2. Gaining weight
    3. Complaining
    4. Wheedling medications from doctors
    5. Complaining
    6. Not buying new cars or trucks
    7. Complaining
    8. Actively refusing to use electronic technology newer than 1977/Misusing electronic technology newer than 1977 (tie)
    9. Complaining
    10. Mistaking worsening medical conditions for “love”
    11. Complaining *

    * Number 11 added because Pluggers are really really not horrible at complaining.

  204. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#202): mmmmm, Rule 63.

  205. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#168): This will sound odd, but thanks for pointing out Diana’s hair re-growth in Phantom. Comic artists and writers who comprehend the idea of time passing and things changing – what a concept!

  206. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#186): @pastordan, snark late shift (#188): These are two comments that should not be as close to each other as they are. o.O

  207. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

  208. Jamoche
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#186): Or the angry young men who pretend they’re billboards.

  209. Liam
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Garfield-What smells of latex, sex, shame, and fear?

    MW-The next time we see Dawn she will be lying on the couch bemoaning her break up with Jim.

    Spiderman-”I wish Kraven would use the bathroom like a regular person. Just because he works with animals doesn’t mean he should go like an animal.

    Sally Forth-Sally is really worried about Ted’s deteriorating mental abilities.

    Luann-And what’s his name is there to smile so Luann’s mother will be convinced that this actually looks good.

  210. Will
    December 9th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    SFx: So Shady got a van and painted it up with a reasonable approximation of the USPS Eagle logo, but couldn’t spell “postal” right? Next time, Shady, just steal a mail truck, idiot.

  211. CanuckDownSouth
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#205): it reminds me of how waaayyy back, the X-Men did that with Storm’s hair to show time passing (twice – first when she was a de-aged amnesiac, then after the Genoshans re-aged her but she lost her hair in their attempted enslavement process, they followed a series of pixie-cuts, longer bobs, and eventually the normal length). It is nice when they pay attention to details like that.

  212. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#197): Is that ass of the talking or non-talking variety? ‘Cause from where I sit, you looking a whooole lot like Balaam…

    Verily, verily, I say unto thee: I am rubber and thou art glue.”

  213. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#212): Sheesh, we get bored around here when there’s no fresh thread to comment on…

  214. Horace Broon
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    ASM: I realise Stan’s complete disregard for his own characters shouldn’t bother me by this point, and it’s hardly the worst example, but for some reason the idea of Sergei Kravenoff, Russian nobleman and loon, snarling “Yeah” just rubs me the wrong way. Kraven should use floridly polite prose even when he’s killing people, like Ming the Merciless or Professor Moriarty. The exception to this is when he’s in his most feral phase. at which point he shouldn’t talk at all.

    Then again, this is a universe where he’s is a two-bit showman and jewel robber, rather than a hunter of The World’s Most Dangerous Game, so like I said, I shouldn’t be surprised.

    DT Stanton’s been reading Prince Valiant recently, and realises gender-flipped, time-displaced Merry Men are The Next Big Thing.

    FC: Small children are short! They see crowds of adults as a sea of knees! Man, that’s comedy gold!

    FG: Can you say “trollop” on the comics page? Guess so…

    FW: As previously established in the “vendos” storyline, the citizens of Westview eat unhealthily in order to get their horrible deaths over with.

    HtH: OK, based on the evidence seen throughout the strip, and assuming that of course they aren’t half-assedly making stuff up as they go along, I think I’ve got this worked out. Hagar still worships the Aesir, but Helga has converted to the White Christ, and Hagar respects her beliefs enough to refer to Christmas instead of Jul.

    PV: Rhoda’s disguise is so cunning, even the narrator is fooled!

  215. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    meanwhile, in the ‘burbs.

    a merch too far.

    when you mix Sequitur and Poteet, you get this.

    Firefox opens new tab.

    we haz joys, we haz funs, we haz bellehs in the sun.

    The Daily Puppy is for bb,u.

    Happy Sundorg!

  216. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#212): Balaam, one of the Five (5!) Constipated Men of the Bible. [*]

  217. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#212): Verily, verily, I say unto thee: I am rubber and thou art glue.” That must be from one of those new, groovy translations. For the kids, you know.

    So I remind you of Balaam? Well, he was a prophet, also. Sadly, the election didn’t turn out as Heinlein predicted.

    // I was looking forward to those handmaidens, too.

  218. seismic-2
    December 9th, 2012 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

  219. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 9th, 2012 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

  220. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

  221. Liam
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Will (#210):

    He did steal that mail truck. He stole it from some guy named Crazy Harry.

  222. This Guy
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#214): What is “FG”? Is it just inserted into comments like a cartographer’s trap street?

  223. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#222): FLASH!

    (aaa-aaahhhh!)

  224. Peanut Gallery
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    SFx – Wrong again, Slylock! It’s actually a misspelling of “United States Pastel Service,” a completely legit mail-order art-supplies company.

    Also, that turtle should be reading the Racing Form.

  225. Vince M
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#35): I saw that early version of ‘Casino Royale’ – interesting to see something produced way before any of those cultural reference points associated with Bond were even established. I guess they decided they needed to make Bond an American (with Leiter as an “I say, old boy” Limey-type!) but I got a chuckle over a latter-day review that describes Nelson’s Bond as “soigne as Bluto” – ‘Popeye’ or ‘Animal House’ work equally well there.

  226. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#222): What is “FG”? Is it just inserted into comments like a cartographer’s trap street?

    Flash Gordon

    // I had to look for it too.

  227. Peanut Gallery
    December 9th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – This is the third comic strip I’ve seen, in which having cancer is portrayed as a license for mild-to-moderate bad behavior. In xkcd a little while ago it was cheating at Scrabble; in Dykes to Watch Out For it was excessive spending.

    My Cage – Just want to say, I especially liked this one.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#200):

    JP: Isn’t “You look ten years younger” a left-handed compliment at best, implying that she usually looks old?

    Absolutely. Normally, a line like that would result in the wife getting insulted, leading to hi-larious marital-conflict “humor.”

  228. Ukulele Ike
    December 9th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#225): I saw that early version of ‘Casino Royale’…

    OMG, one of the bestest movies EVAIR, right up there with Casablanca and The Passion of Joan of Arc!

    Check out the amazing animated opening credits, with music by Burt Bacharach performed by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass!

    A delightful slice of the Sixties as it was wheeling from Sinatra and the Rat Pack into the heyday of psychedelia….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSEmKXzpQMQ

  229. Uncle Lumpy
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    I ♥ Sixties movie credits. Piet Mondrian shoulda copyrighted those boxes.

  230. seismic-2
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#228): We’re talking about 2 different things. There was the David Niven / Woody Allen / Peter Sellers / Orson Welles / half-of-Hollywood-in-cameos farce, which hit the movie theaters at the height of the Bond craze in the 1960s, and the live-TV hour-long stage version that aired as that week’s episode of the drama series Climax in the 1950s. The former was just a big a mess as it was apparently intended to be (but with nice eye candy, of course), and the latter was, well, live television. In the TV version good old reliable Barry Nelson tried his best, bless him, but he came off looking as if someone had put a tuxedo on the insurance agent from down the street and told him, “You’re a sophisticated spy named James Bond. Now go play baccarat, whatever that is.”

  231. Poteet
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#215): Yes, I clearly see Sequitur’s courage and determination. And my lovely eyes.

  232. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#228): Thanks for posting that–so wonderful! (And I remember dancing around the living to my parents’ Herb Alpert albums.)

  233. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#232): …. dancing around the living room. Let’s blame the Nyquil, shall we?

  234. Little Guy
    December 9th, 2012 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    Barney & Clyde: “For those who came in late….”

    PBS: Meeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwww……

  235. seismic-2
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#234): Barney & Clyde: “For those who came in late….”

    Please don’t tell me that we’re going to have to put up with another 20 generations of this crap.

  236. Poteet
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    MT — Yay! Vultures! Vultures rock.

  237. Anna Nimity
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#14): Okay, how about some pix of GOAT+Corgi? The gauntlet has been thrown!

  238. Poteet
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    JP — I love that smile in the last panel. When you’re richer than God and can quickly churn out best-selling highly-filmable novels by thinking them up while you’re sitting on the can and scribbling them down at lightning speed for an hour or so before breakfast every day, life can become a little dull. The coming maelstrom of tears, defensiveness, and fury should provide entertainment for a few hours. Heh-heh-heh.

  239. Shermy Glamrocker
    December 9th, 2012 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    “Boned.
    “James Boned.
    “Gay Porn Star.”

  240. Horace Broon
    December 10th, 2012 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#222):
    Flash (Ah-ah! Savior of the universe!) Gordon.

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