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Tuesday one-panelers

Dennis the Menace, 12/11/12

One of Dennis’s core menacing shticks is repeating things he doesn’t fully understand in a way that causes embarrassment to his parents, usually because it’s something insulting they’ve said about someone behind their backs. Unfortunately, Dennis has now become a self-aware menace, and he now knows that he can get a rise out of people this way; but since the whole thing revolves around him not knowing the meaning of the things he’s saying, he’s sort of blundering around in the dark, latching onto phrases he’s not familiar with in the hopes that someone will be humiliated when he spouts them off. “So it’s a doggie bag, but it’s not for the dog, right? Eh? Eh? I’m saying what everyone’s thinking? Is anyone in trouble yet?”

Pluggers, 12/11/12

The games whose outcomes were so important to pluggers in their youth — grown men, scrambling around in the dirt after a ball! — seem meaningless now. Pluggers know that there’s only one game left in town: survival. They don’t care how many pills they have to choke down, how agonizing it is to carry their creaking frame from chair to chair; the biological imperative carries a thrill all its own. Those names and faces in the obits section belong to family and friends, some of them very dearly missed, and yet in a real sense, just being alive to see the pictures and read the pocket biographies is a victory.

235 responses to “Tuesday one-panelers”

  1. Christopher
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Dennis The Menace: “And what’s the deal with airplane peanuts?”

  2. Terry in Maryland
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Well, that was a disappointment. I guess this is going to be a lion with a thorn in his paw situation. Mark saves Otto, Otto sees the error of his ways.

  3. Justin
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Who actually calls it a doggie bag? I’ve only ever heard that term used in media, I’ve never heard it in an actual restaurant.

  4. Labyrinth
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: They have a whole Obits section!? And it’s 12 pages! The Black Death has come to Pluggerville.

  5. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Who does Dennis think he is? Jeffy Keane?

  6. AhClem
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Aargh! Not only has Darkgate not updated half of its comics for 3 days, but this morning it somehow reset itself and I had to start selecting comics from scratch. Has anybody found anything that works better?

  7. Chareth Cutestory
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Plugger priorities change with age. Instead of seeking sports trophies, the thrill is found in reading the details of your murderous handiwork in the Obit section. Which are a kind of trophy in their own right.

  8. David Foster Wodehouse
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    The Plugger Games — July 2013
    The Plugger Games: Burning Sensation — July 2014
    The Plugger Games: Mockery — July 2015

  9. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @Justin (#3):

    I was just discussing this the other day – the term “doggy bag” is a relic from the 70s-80s, when there was, for some reason, the need to pretend you were only taking home scraps for the dog. My parents would actually do this – take home bones and gristle from their steak, potato skin, things no human would admit to eating as leftovers. But since at least the 90s, you have asked for a “box” or a “take-home plate” or something more appropriate for actual human fare.

  10. Chip Whittle
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: Wait, this is supposed to be actually happening? I guess up to today’s strip I thought this talk about Greg being “the new James Bond” or the 3-G cast living “in the present day” was just a gag. This is like finding out Mark Trail is for real.

  11. gleeb
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    ‘bean: Yep, he’s gone to granny-cheatin’ John, who is no doubt going to rook him but good, but is also too lazy to carry a damn box.

    A&J: Tall and tan,
    And young and lovely,
    The girl from Chichen Itza,
    Goes walking…

  12. Liam
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    A3G-You got your information wrong. The hot film of 2013 is “The Hobbit”. Greg is going to be a hobbit. One of those that you see in the background without any lines.

    A3G 2-”This news is so top secret that even Greg’s publicist doesn’t know it.”

    A3G 3-There is going to be another James Bond film next year? So soon after Skyfall.

    Crankshaft-If Cranky is your bus drive you need serious therapy every day.

    Love Is-It is surprising to see the woman you love dressed.

    MT-Sadly Otto died due to massive blood loss. Mark can paddle a motor boat like it’s a canoe but he knows jack squat about first aid.

    RMMD-”Now I must kill you, Mrs. Morgan.”

  13. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#11): I was just thinking the same thing about A&J. Nice subtle humor there.

  14. Chip Whittle
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Deflocked: “Hey–where’s our JCPenney Christmas Catalog,” asks a six-year-old boy, in a comic strip that totally has ever heard of six-year-old boys but never actually seen one.

    Funky Winkerbean: “This is the last of them, John…Boxes filled with pieces of my soul.” “Your soul sure read a lot of the New Universe comics.”

  15. Hibbleton
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    DtM: To think, someone got paid for this.

    Love is: ..and this.

  16. TheDiva
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Labyrinth (#4): Welcome to Pluggerville, the only place in the comicsverse that rivals Funky Winkerbean for death obsession.

  17. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Top secret”? What part of “publicist” is Margo unclear on?

    MT: So, which implausible outcome do you foresee:
    a) Otto is so grateful to Mark that he lets him go, and Mark leaves the Island of Happy But Starving White Folks behind.
    b) Otto is so remorseful that he continues with the ransom plan but actually gives the money to the inhabitants of the Island of Happy But Starving White Folks.
    c) Otto is so weakened by blood loss remorseful that he allows himself and his co-thugs to be taken into custody, and the whole gang leave the Island of Happy But Starving White Folks behind.
    d) Everyone is so grateful to Mark that they make him king (and Andy vice-king) of the Island of Happy But Starving White Folks.

    MW: Are Mary’s eyes welling up at the memory of a lost love, or is a platitude-based meddlegasm so powerful as to bring one to tears?

  18. Digger
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @Labyrinth (#4): I think the Obits are a whole section because Pluggerville has numerous mass suicides.

  19. Downpuppy brings you pies
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#12): Hobbit? No way. Greg is the new Katniss Everdean.

  20. nescio
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    DtM: Speak up, kid. I can’t hear you over the sound of your Dad’s jacket.

  21. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: …would be more interesting if Peter were a relationship counselor, not a “superhero.”

    Apt. 3-G: Bowls of fruit? Venetian blinds and heavy drapes? Just how long have they been phoning in the artwork on this strip, anyway? While I ponder that, Evan ponders what he’ll have to do to top that goddamn canary.

    How hoary is Archie? It’s so old their janitor is a Swede, not a Mexican!

    9 Chickweed Lane: Every morning, I imagine Brooke McEldowney eating breakfast with his mother while she reads the morning paper. He looks like a puppy over his Bran Bombs, this simpering manchild, desperately seeking her approval. Ma McEldowney is reading the obituaries.

    Dennis the Menace: Dennis, we need to have a talk. You see, it’s not a bag for the dog…

    Dick Tracy: I predict this storyline will end with a whole lot of people filled with quarter-sized bullet holes in them. One can always hope.

    Family Circus: This is perhaps the paradigmatic legacy panel. Dolly could be asking about homework, a letter to Santa, how high the fiscal cliff is, or the existential horror and dread of knowing that world is coming to an end on December 21st. Any old recycling will do.

    The Lockhorns: I am honestly surprised that Leroy doesn’t have a desk in a large open room. They’ve updated this strip to…what? The 1980′s? At least there’s not a bowl of fruit, venetian blinds and heavy drapes.

    Luann: Perhaps the only thing more awkward than Luann and Quill camming with one another is when Quill makes a pass at Gunther. From Australia. </Liam>

    Mark Trail: Ask not for whom the pelicans circle – they circle for thee! And thy half-eaten leg, too.

    Mary Worth: I’m not sure what Mary is, but it’s not a Christian. For believers, love must be seen in light of God’s covenant love, as expressed in Christ’s sacrificial death on the cross, and grief is tempered by the sure knowledge that in that death, Christ won for us the victory over death. Death is very real, to be sure, and so is grief, but they do not have the final word, nor do they direct us to any ultimate destiny. Of course, that’s pretty hard to type on a six-rowed keyboard while your eyes water with the beauty of your own platitudes. We’ll give her that.

    Pibgorn: Huh? Huh? Whaddya think, Ma? “Pibgorn” isn’t in the paper, Brooksy. You know that.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: At what point does June say, “Hey, person that I just met, excuse me for a minute. I’m going to go put some clothes on”?

    Ziggy: How expensive you think that bucket is, Mr. Scudder?

  22. Marc
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    9CL- I don’t have the slightest goddam clue what is going on here.

    A3G- So there is going to be another James Bond movie coming out so soon after Skyfall? And has anybody told Daniel Craig yet that he’s being replaced by a bland American?

    Mark Trail- Jack Elrod, raising the bar for incoherent storylines since whenever the hell he started doing this strip.

    Mary Worth- What we don’t see is the question that Mary is answering is “My neighbor’s tree has a branch that hangs into my yard and it makes me angry. What should I do about it?”

    Funky- I’m hoping that Comic Book Pedophile Guy is about to talk some sense into Senile Harry. But this is Funky Winkerbean, so he’s probably just going to announce that he’s selling the comic book store to pay for the chemo on his newly discovered cancer.

    Luann- Somebody needs to jam Gunther’s head against the ball polisher ala Milhouse in The Simpsons. I don’t know what purpose it would serve, but it would make me happy.

  23. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#17): I’m wondering when somebody gets punched.

  24. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    drat it.

    post-jumped probing commentary, redone.

    A&J: ROFL!

    9CL: FN Thorax; dr.

    HotC: Dean haz hammerspace?!? also, “CLOON!”

    rIP: *snurk*

    SBp: “come to Alpha Centauri, we have cookies!” I guess cookies and lemonade is a nice thing, but that dude definitively has a post-probe face.

    Bizzaro: *squeeee*

    DT: Belle, you are NOT Harley Quinn, you don’t get to do the the “Mister B” thing.

    Lockhorns: Loretta just caught him spanking to pr0n at work.

    PMP: ouch. that’s harsh.

    Ghost-who-probes prepares another cat-roofie.

    RwO: points for cleverness.

    6Cx: sometimes, the truth is ewwww.

    SFx: thermometer goes WHERE?!? *runs*

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . breath play. (which is dangerous, and should not be tried at home, kids!)

    after all the probing strips elsewhere, I was all set to find another Love Is . . .pegging strip, but alas, it twas not to be this day.

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#11): re A&J:

    *furious applaz*

  27. Chip Whittle
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Mandrake, for those who came in late, foiled a kidnapping he wan’t informed about for vague reasons, by luck, along the way spoiling a bet wherein he and Lothar had to not use their unique strengths, for a payoff Mandrake knew he wasn’t going to get anyway. You know your superhero story has gone off the rails when Peter Parker looks focused and organized by comparison.

  28. Greg
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Don’t bother me, I’m checking my fantasy funeral team…. Aw hell, my kinfolk are still alive! So much for making the playdowns this year.”

  29. Liam
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    FW-Because you can apply for compensation. There is something called unemployment that you can tide you over until you get another job.

  30. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    DtM: It stands to reason that when those always frugal Mitchells leave a restaurant, they will take home any uneaten food. After all, tonight Henry is wearing a jacket that Alice fashioned from the tablecloth that they took home from the restaurant where they ate last week.

  31. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): The modern version, for me: When I go out for pizza, I always bring home the pizza bones for my pup.

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#23): If Mark suddenly punched the helpless Otto, exclaiming, “And that’s for the moustache!”—well, I’d take back at least 1/3 of the bad things I’ve ever said about this strip.

  32. Fats Pinto
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Bow-tie with plaid jacket, heavy rimmed glasses, green pastel frock and fake pearls, dressing their kid like Mr Pink to go eat somewhere with mismatched thrift-store tableware. Are the Mitchells… hipsters?

  33. endless sky
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    FW: “Are you sure you want to do this, Crazy? Because I’m going to have to charge you a storage fee to keep all this crap here.”

  34. Liam
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    FW-And here comes the week long lecture on the history of comics.

  35. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#31): And if he punched Mr. Wilson also, for the same reason…?

  36. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

  37. TheDiva
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke doesn’t understand the function or benefits of cosmetic dentistry, but damned if he’s not going to expend an entire week waxing satirical on the subject! (Also, since he doesn’t draw “smiles” so much as “distorted toothy maws from the depths of Hell,” I’m really dreading where this leads.)

    A3G: “The hottest film of 2013″ would have to be well into filming by now, if not post-production. I’m not sure if this demonstrates massive fail on the part of Margo the publicist, the studio, or the entire entertainment industry.

    C’shaft: No seriously, Lena, what kind of dirt does he have on you?

    FW: Do you hear that? It sounds like a deus ex machina, just in time for Christmas!

    Luann: This may well be the dumbest arc in this strip ever, and that’s saying something.

    MW: So, Mary doesn’t “meddle” so much anymore as “write pithy comments after the fact”? (Hey Mary, that’s OUR job!)

    Pibgorn: What happened to Nerdy Strawman? Is he just sitting there watching these two alternately fight and make out? (Multiplexes don’t have this much projection.)

    SM: Dayam, Kraven got back!

  38. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    A3G: And by the “new James Bond,” Margo means “Goldfinger On Ice,” Starring Mickey Mouse as James Bond and Buzz Lightyear as Goldfinger, a Feld Entertainment production.

  39. KreatureFeatures
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    FW: Can we please see Judge Parker make a guest appearance? He can use his pocket change to buy all the comic books from Whiny Willy, and then line the floor of the Parker’s luxurious multi-car garage with them.

  40. Pozzo
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    DtM: “And how come you didn’t give Mom a pearl necklace until after I asked about the one you told Mr. Wilson you gave her?”

  41. mrreindeer
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    While pluggers has long been an advocate for interspecies romance, I, for one, appreciate their casual acceptance of same-sex interspecies love. However, why do their mugs have handles smaller than their fingers? Is that a gay thing?

  42. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

  43. Mibbitmaker
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    DtM:
    The Waiter: If Alan Melville, Alan Kalter, and James (not Alan) Baker all had a baby.
    Polka-Dot Lady: OMIGOD!!! Mrs. Mitchell’s hair cut this poor woman’s hand off! I don’t blame her for looking down at it in horror!

    Pluggers: Jeez, that’s a fine thing to put out there on my 51st birthday! Gee, thanks loads!
    That, and Brooke’s two strips (Thor-ecch, and unpleasant male genie making sex yecchier than Brooke’s usual) just being major sickening on my day! McE doesn’t know me for Adam, and I wouldn’t stand out as a commenter around here to him, but if he was aware, I’m sure he’d’ve put those two abonimations out there with a snide “Yeah, happy (thesaurus word) birthday, fucker!”

  44. Mibbitmaker
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    That should be “from Adam”.

  45. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#43): Happy 51st birthday! Celebrate at the sort of classy restaurant that features pink and blue salt-and-pepper shakers!

  46. Nekrotzar
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    So Dennis the Menace is now Amelia Bedelia. I never really liked Amelia Bedelia.

    “The greatest suffering in my life has been inflicted by the act of reading all the Amelia Bedelia sequels to my kids.” – Albert Camus

  47. Voshkod
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    “How come Ruff never gets what’s in the doggie bag?”

    “How come you always give the waiter a bundle of cash after you look in the doggie bag?”

    “How come we’re driving out to the abandonded quarry?”

    “How come you have a burlap bag and a heavy chain?”

    How come I get such a small entry in the Pluggerville obits?

  48. bats :[
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): how cool would it be to see Mark “turn” (no, not like Otto did the boat)? He’d probably look pretty spiff in facial hair…

  49. CanuckDownSouth
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    A3G must be Bizarroworld, because that’s the only way to understand publicists whose job is to keep their client’s famous roles a secret, let alone the fashion sense shown.

  50. Steve
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    S-M/MW: Peter doesn’t seem inclined to help Sherry at all, so Mary is picking up the slack.

  51. wonkeythemonkey
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    While other papers may use the word “obituaries,” the Plugger Gazette knows that is readers have no time or patience for such highfalutin’, college-boy nonsense. Besides, the more concise “OBITS” allows them to print the page header in a bigger font, because if there’s one thing Plugger’s like better than contemplating their own mortality, it’s large type.

  52. wonkeythemonkey
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    I cannot believe I snuck a misplaced apostrophe in to “Plugger’s”. I must go do penance by reciting Curtis’ “stations of the Kwanzaa”.

  53. NoahSnark
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    You may not think that doggie bag is menacing, but the food inside it is full of trans fats and cholesterol! Bwa ha ha ha ha! Aha. Ahem. . Man my standards have slipped.

  54. Arabella
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#43): Oh, to be 51 again! Have a great day, whippersnapper!

  55. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Re: Yesterday’s Crock: Yes, the camel was calling Grossie “hot bod,” because fat chicks are so gross they’re named “Grossie” and only camels would want to sex them up. That was the joke, I swear.

    Shorter Juggs Parker: “Suck our collective dick, readers who expect coherent narrative and compelling characters. We’re fucking rich.”

  56. greghousesgf
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    The only people I’ve heard say “doggie bag” are really old (like 80+) so maybe it’s a generational thing?

  57. Old Folkie
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): You have outdone yourself today…I don’t even mind your slipping a sermon in among the snark.

  58. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#57): Thank you Sir. I need a life.

  59. Kimble
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    A3G Can we get back to the Tommie birthin’ babies storyline? I want to read about Nina’s post-partum depression.

  60. Dood
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: How else can a plugger know when the next funeral-barbecue will take place?

  61. Little Blue Bicycle
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#58): Just spent some time on your webpage, was most happy to find it, copied your last sermon to a friend who ought to read it.

  62. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): 70s-80s? No, “Doggy Bag” is more like 50s-60s, though it may have survived into the 70s in some places. By the 80s, we just asked for a box to take stuff home in. A Chinese restaurant meal was good for a second feast at home the next day.

  63. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    3G – It’s a small world. The population’s maybe around 100. If you disregard the blues, it’s a couple dozen. Hell, if they’re not going blue, Margo’s probably going to be in the 007 movie too. (“No, Mr. Bond, I don’t want you to talk. I want more zippers!”)

    Beetle – I really didn’t ask. Stop telling.

    Slylock – “HOLY CRAP, DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT ‘FIX’ REALLY MEANS???”

  64. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#Y266): If I had a float, that would ride.

  65. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Dick – Real plotting, man. Not just some ugly character saying the same thing over and over. A tangled web with a bunch of people with different motives running into each other. Happy sigh.

    Gasoline – Remember, nobody likes a dirty napkin. Better make sure the ones you sell are sanitary!

    love is… …your new gig, standing on top of a wedding cake for two real human adults.

  66. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Mary – A new story? Can they do that?

    Popeye – Ha ha! He’s a mass murderer. And he’s SHORT!

    Prickly – You can get arrested for sitting in your car, nursing your whopper. Just saying.

    Spider-Man – Poor Sherry. She’ll never get to play with his kraisins.

  67. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:52 am [Reply]

  68. HAnzMFG
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    I choked on my morning coffee reading the Dennis the Menace section here. I seem to remember that comics always latch onto old phrases that nobody uses any more, to include “doggie bag.” The funny part is that comics like this one and the Born Loser is that they treat it like that’s what it’s called, thus resulting in them directly talking about bringing their food home to a dog in the middle of the restauraunt.

  69. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: “You mean this agency’s only male client is the new James Bond??? And here I spent all my time stealing the agency’s only female client, who’s just a minor Bond Girl! Boy, will Aunt Cathy be disappointed in me!!! I think I’d better hide out, by blending in with this bowl of bananas.”

  70. Illustrator Steve
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Justin (#3): @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9):

    (IE: Doggie Bags – all you never needed to know about them):
    While growing up in south Florida from the 1950′s thru the 1970′s my Mother worked for three up scale restaurant businesses, Pal’s in Fort Lauderdale (which became Joe Namath’s ‘Bachelors Three’), Pal’s in Pompano Beach and Pal’s Captain’s Table in Deerfield Beach. All three of those up-scale restaurants offered left-over bags with the words, “DOGGIE BAG” printed on them. I think they may also have had a drawing of a dog on them. Sometime in the mid 1960′s they started to use those deep round throw-away aluminium pans with the cardboard tops, especially for the pastrys. (attention lesser experienced younger people, you may feel free to post this valuable historic information on Wikipedia).

  71. Hibbleton
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#60):

    Pluggers: How else can a plugger know when the next funeral-barbecue will take place?

    In the plugger world, the obits section is a menu.

  72. Black Drazon
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    12 page obituary section compared with a 4 page sports section: charge toward extinction, or advertising gone horribly, horribly wrong?

  73. Gringo
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @wonkeythemonkey (#52): Speaking of which, when does Curtis‘s annual Kwanzaa kraziness kick in?

  74. Austria
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    H&L: “All I want is what I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.”

    PBS: I feel like “cray-cray” would have worked better here. It’s a “hella” lot stupider than “wack.”

    Pruggs: Oh crap, my dad is a Plugger.

  75. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#70): I remember that type!—much cuter than a plain styrofoam box.

  76. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21), @Old Folkie (#57), @Little Blue Bicycle (#61): And speaking of sermons, here’s today’s bovine one.

    @Justin (#3): Right, “doggie bags” are a vestige of a post-WWII rationing 1950s America, when people were still at least trying to hide the secret shame that they were guilty of overeating. A generation or two of triple bypass surgeries and Type 2 diabetes later, and the population is no longer able to keep up the pretense that they are in fact anything other than obese gluttons, so the “doggie bag” has been replaced by the “I’ll eat it later” box. Next, people will simply go into Weenie World and Montoni’s with a wheelbarrow, and say “Fill it up.” As we see in today’s Pluggers, there is irony in the prospects that the only thing keeping newspapers themselves from dying off will be their expanding section needed to satisfy the increasing worried interest in the demise of their readership.

  77. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS — In more and more Iowa newspapers, there are death announcements, which are very short and free with standard language, and actual obituaries, which are usually much longer and are paid for and written by the relatives/friends of the deceased, who can make any claims they want regarding the character and current residence of the dearly departed. So a twelve-page obit section might just mean that in Pluggerville, obits are especially long and flowery and include mentions and credits of everyone connected with the passed-on person, from the nurse in the delivery room to the makeup artist who worked on the corpse. In fact, the entire twelve pages could be about one dead Plugger, if he/she and/or the relatives were willing to pony up for all those column inches.

  78. Marc
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#74): Every time I hear somebody say “cray-cray”, I immediately lose the will to live.

  79. TheDiva
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#70): I remember seeing a “doggie bag” like that sometime during my childhood (early-mid 80s), although I think it might have been used to carry the styrofoam box the food was actually in. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone ask for anything other than “a (take-home) box” since at least high school, though.

  80. TheDiva
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#77): Except Pluggers are almost invariably dirt poor, so where would they get the money for that? Unless, like the pharaohs of old, they focus all their resources on one great monument that will echo their name through the ages (or until it’s used for birdcage liner, whichever comes first.

  81. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#78): I had never seen that word/term/abomination until today. How lucky I was.

  82. Uncle Lumpy
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#73):

    Kwanzaa starts on December 26, and runs through January 1. Curtis usually starts on time, but often runs over, because mescaline interferes with the accurate perception of time.

    Then cue “Diane plugs children’s books by African-American authors”, and back to Derrick and “Onion.”

  83. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#80): HAHAHA! I skim local obits, and this week one of them included no birthdate or age. I suspect that information was available but that orders had been given never to reveal it. I’m kind of tempted to write my own obit in case of accident and to include the entire dead-parrot synonym list from MONTY PYTHON.

  84. odinthor
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#22):

    In re: 9CL. For once, I can empathize with McEldowney. Many of us go to the dentist with much the same attitude as we would go to any doctor or medical specialist: “Cure our diseases, sir or madam, attend to the demands of our health, then be off with you!” One wouldn’t anticipate a gastroenterologist or otolaryngologist making efforts to pander to the patient’s vanity (and, by a happy coincidence, their own bottom line) by, unasked, dangling before him or her unnecessary cosmetic procedures and/or the purchase of whimsical gadgets or bric-a-brac; and yet—and I sincerely beg the pardon of responsible dentists—I myself have observed in the world of dentistry a certain disproportionate interest in what one might call the extra-medical facet of their field. The potentialities and stresses of going under the drill are bad enough without also having to deal with slick salesmanship. This sort of experience is, I’d guess, what McEldowney is drawing upon.

  85. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#77): When my wife’s grandfather died, his obit cost $100 per column-inch in the local paper. Since he was a WW2 vet with quite a story, the family thought he rated 8 column-inches.

  86. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Austria (#74): I have never heard the expression “cray-cray” until just now. I cannot imagine a context in which “supercomputer-supercomputer” would be at all meaningful.

  87. Perky Bird
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @wonkeythemonkey (#51): I’m surprised The Pluggerville Post even uses the term “OBITS.” I would have suspected something more along the lines of “DEAD ‘UNS.”

  88. Snarkotix Addict
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @ TheDiva #37
    FW – I think you’re onto something. John is going to offer Harry a share of the business. Harry squanders invests his life savings in the business, but John embezzles the money to buy Beth a “prosthesis” (i.e., a strap-on dildo). Hilarity Cancer ensues.

  89. bunivasal
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Banged her, banged her, banged him, banged her. Banged his mom, banged her, banged her, made out with her in her boyfriend’s car, done.”

  90. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#76): I saw that, but had no obvious play on it, so I just left it alone…

  91. pastordan, lazy professor
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Little Blue Bicycle (#61): Well, thank you. One of these days, I’m going to get around to updating the damn thing.

  92. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#85): We ran one for my dad when he passed away, and I was shocked at how expensive it was–and not for a big-city newspaper, either.

  93. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    ok, perhaps a Kickstarter campaign to get this for bb,u?

    *digs around in sofa*

    hrm. three dustbunnies, two pen caps and a nickle.

    guess not.

  94. Poteet
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#85): Wow. Yay for your wife’s grandfather’s family. I may ask what my local paper charges — you’ve made me curious.

  95. Buck Ripsnort
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    DtM: GawDAAAAAAMN, Mr Mitchell, that’s one ugly outfit. Order something flaming so your kid can set that suit on fire.

    Pluggers: Funky Pluggerbean.

  96. Snarkotix Addict
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    MW – Yesterday there was quite a discussion about misattribution of quotations. I have no idea where Mary found today’s, but I think we should just start randomly citing whatever comes to mind.
    “Grieving is the price we pay for loving.”
    - Ghengis Khan, Tuesdays with Toghrul, 1220

  97. Baka Gaijin
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @wonkeythemonkey (#51): One thing Plugger’s like better than contemplating their own mortality, it’s large type. a combination free all-you-can-eat chicken fried everything buffet and complimentary angioplasty. FTFY.

  98. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9):
    When my parents and I would go to the long-defunct Skipper’s in Norwalk, we would get “Doggie Bags” that said something like “VIP bag – take this home and watch your pet enjoy you eating it!” How seriously cruel is that?

    Now I just say “Id like to take this portion home with me, please” and it is either a foil pie plate with a cardboard top, inner side folied, or a styrofoam box (I don’t like SFoam for various reasons).

  99. Cleve Barrister
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    JP- Ok, know it’s been said already, but really- what world do these writers live in? What mom spends time planning her SONS’ wedding, as opposed to her DAUGHTERS’??? “Oh gee, my life’s not complete until I plan the rehearsal dinner menu!!!” And- really? She looks like Randy’s girlfriend, not someone who’s at least 20+ years older (unless, of course, the good judge indulged himself when she was just a “minor” character in the strip….)

  100. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93): Aw, that’s sweet—but unnecessary. One of my virtues is that I’m actually a cheap date.

  101. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#17):
    As a reward, Otto will give Mark the Phish-loving lip-licking kid with the Danny Masterson hair as a token, Mark will take him back to Lofo, and bring him only on fishing trips. Rusty will turn to the “medicinals” Doc makes in his “Veterinary Lab” for comfort, and eventually start working with the so-called D.V.M.
    Soon he’ll earn enough cash pushing meth to impoverished Georgians and Alabamians to buy his own Orvis Bamboo 8′ rod plus extras, and a Range Rover trimmed in gold. A hookup with Sam Driver and Avery will help make the poor shunned kid a multi-millionaire.

  102. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#92): In the Washington Post, there is a difference between and Obit and a death notice. Death notices do just that and give funeral information. That cost money. On the other hand, obituaries are mini life stories for long time members of the community and are written by the staff with most info coming from the family. It cost nothing. I always regretted that I didn’t ask for one to be written for my father who coached youth sports for years and while working for the Feds won the Distinguished Civilian Service award, the highest award.

  103. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#93):
    Wow, and I thought a couple of Petrus vintages were pricey? Yow.
    Good thing I don’t like whiskey!

  104. CanuckDownSouth
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    S @Cleve Barrister (#99): IIRC, she actually *is* the much-younger stepmom, but not as young as Randy, and there being no daughters, she’s about to go momzilla over her stepson’s wedding.

  105. Allen
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    It seems like every 2 weeks or so Pluggers have to remind us that everyone they know or love is dying.

  106. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#102): I think that in smaller-market papers, such as the one in my hometown, they don’t have reporters writing that sort of obituary any more; certainly my dad would have warranted one, but the only option for any kind of “story” was to write it–and pay for it–ourselves.

  107. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#102):
    Have you seen the long obits in the Ontario papers? Sometimes they’re like novellas, seriously (especially if it is an older man of UK origin, with military and business service and a large family). Sometimes I like reading them.

  108. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#94): @Cleve Barrister (#99): Well, from personal experience, it’s whomever has the most money gets to plan the wedding.

    When I got married (to the daughter of a rich doctor), the future father-in-law ruled the day. Future mom-in-law (in-laws are divorced) could barely be bothered with showing up, much less participate in any planning. My parents were like “let us know when the grandkids start showing up”, and my bride and I were content with elopement. Father-in-law, however, wanted to show-off and show-up his colleagues and pals at the country club, so money was no object.

    The same thing would have happened to my young sister-in-law, except she married into an even richer family, so the groom’s parents called all the shots. Unfortunately, they chose to host a series of destination weddings (plural intended) that unsurprisingly few people from the guest list could afford to attend.

    IMHO, large weddings are for suckers/idiots. Go elope, and save the money and gifts for a nice down-payment on a house.

  109. Dood
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Dennis The Menace: Better line: “My dad’s wearing your tablecloth.”

  110. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#106): My wife’s grandfather had one of those prepaid-funeral deals, so the obit payment was taken care of. It is, however, a very good thing ™ that the old man didn’t take the option of writing his obit himself — there is no newspaper in the world that could have printed some of the comments I know he would have made.

  111. Roger Ln
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I haven’t been keeping up with the current storyline, but I take it the deathly-looking redhead is part of some kind of ritual murder cult, and will soon be taking care of this nosy investigator in an appropriately gruesome manner.

  112. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Roger Ln (#111): Not in this calendar year, though… Rex got free tickets to see Shamu!

  113. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#270): @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y263): You haven’t read The Adventure of the ‘Gloria Scott’ as many times as I have.

    It has been decades. I puzzled over your message for some time. I tried first letters, last letters, etc., and was at the point of analyzing letter frequencies, when I thought of showing it to Mrs. Scudder. A devotee of cryptograms, in her early youth (she’s approaching late youth now), she spotted it in about ten minutes. “I’d have found it quicker, but I didn’t think it would be so simple,” she exclaimed, with a girlish laugh. She didn’t see the Holmes connection either.

    Well done!

  114. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#107): I enjoy reading the obits; so interesting stories. From today’s suitable for this forum:
    Jeff Millar, creator of ‘Tank McNamara’ comic strip, dies at 70
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/obituaries/jeff-millar-creator-of-tank-mcnamara-comic-strip-dies-at-70/2012/12/10/a42efeec-42f2-11e2-8061-253bccfc7532_story.html

  115. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Greg’s Bond movie is a non-officially licensed, non-EON one. Like “Never Say Never Again”.

    Or, more likely, like “Operation Kid Brother”.

  116. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#114):
    Oh no! RIP Mr. Millar.
    I used to read Tank in the 70′s, but then lost touch. : (

  117. Gringo
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#114): The strip, unfortunately, went on life support years ago.

    Tank was a comic I enjoyed growing up, but it started spinning its wheels sometimes in the early 1990s and never got its traction back.

  118. I speak Jive
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#62): I remember also hearing them called “Bowser Bags” in the ’60′s.

    FC – Why do these kids have only one nostril? I can understand drawing none, or two, but why ONE?

    PBS – I love this!

  119. Gringo
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Gringo (#117): But just for old times’ sake:

    “Norts spews!”

  120. Peanut Gallery
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Beetle – Crikey, that must be the biggest Quad Flat Package I’ve ever seen.

  121. Girl Reporter
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Father Girl Reporter called the obituaries the Irish Sports Page; who’s up, who’s down.

  122. This Guy
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#76): It seems to me that upon being served a large, restaurant-determined portion of food, taking part of it home to have as a later meal involves less of an eating problem than would trying to cram it all in in one sitting.
    Honestly, I’m not sure why anyone ever wanted to pretend that instead of getting proper value from the food they purchased by making it last for two meals, they were just going to waste the rest on the damned dog.

  123. John C
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers check to see the statuses of their tontines, and if they’ll be getting the stolen nazi treasures.

  124. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#22): Neither does Brooke.

  125. BigTed
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Given the average life expectancy of a dog and chicken, that elderly plugger couple must be pushing 11.

    Also, I really hope their paper’s sports section is all about chasing Frisbees.

  126. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#122): Yep. Part of the appeal of eating out for me is that I get a second meal out of the leftovers.

    When I was a kid, in the ’70s and ’80s, I remember us asking for a “doggie bag” regardless of whether the leftovers were for us or our actual dog. Now we usually say something like “can we have this to go” unless it’s for the dog for real. And that’s just because the kitchen staff won’t bother boxing up stuff like crusts and gnawed on bones unless you tell them to do so.

  127. Baka Gaijin
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#118): Bowser Bag. What a quaint phrase. It sounds naughty even though it isn’t. I’m not going to urbandictionary to disprove.

  128. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#125): “Also, I really hope their paper’s sports section is all about chasing Frisbees”

    and agility trials, and herding competitions, maybe even field trials. Westminster and the like were moved to the LifeStyles section after repeated flame wars on the editorial page.

  129. Tophat
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Another neat print media fact: Stories and articles are counted in inches, which makes it easier to lay out the page since you know exactly how much space you need to fill. On particularly rough weeks, we can have an obituary article up around 50 inches, which encompasses about 10-15 people, depending on how exciting or boring their lives were. That pretty much fills up one newspaper page, not counting advertisements. Which, lets be honest, there aren’t too many of these days.
    The point I’m trying to make here is that there would have to be a horrific accident of apocalyptic proportions for the small town pluggerville newspaper to need to run a massive 12 page obituary section like the one Dog Man is reading in today’s Pluggers.

  130. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Atheist amongst the flock (#114): I used to read “Tank”, but in recent years the dialog became more and more wordy, at just the same era when the strips’ physical space in the newspaper itself shrank. Eventually the whole “Tank” strip was just about filled up by the word balloons, and reading it was just too much trouble. Nevertheless, I still get some chuckles remembering some gags that ran in the strip during its heyday.

  131. Peanut Gallery
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#113): Your rejoinder was excellent. By the way, this technique is referred to in The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother as a “grammar school code.” Apparently, Holmes also considered it too simple!

  132. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#130): I had the same problem with the strip; I love words, but there were just too many of them in too small a space.

  133. Chip Whittle
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    I wonder how many of the obituaries in the Pluggerville Daily Deathwatch include the phrase “lost the will to live after realizing she was a Plugger”.

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): Ziggy: How expensive you think that bucket is, Mr. Scudder?

    Heh. If you have to ask…

    It’s the precision manufacturing, you know.

    // But you can buy LEGO storage boxes and LEGO kits in the shape of a giant LEGO brick, like Ziggy has there.

  135. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    @Cleve Barrister (#99): Re: JP

    So, we have a case where the groom-to-be does not want a fancy wedding. The bride-to-be does not want a fancy wedding. The brides’ family is out of the picture. And the father of the groom is too smug and detached to care, either. Only the trophy wife/stepmother is interested in making everyone go through a huge ceremony, for reasons that aren’t apparent to anyone.

    So, Judge Parker Sr. is basically being a huge dick here by hiding upstairs and letting Jr. break the news. This isn’t his son’s problem. His son barely knows Mrs. I Just Spent a Fortune at the Spa. Shouldn’t Dad be the one to break it to his trophy that his son doesn’t want a big wedding, and that she really has no right to force one on him? Can’t Randy just tell her “Look, Anna Nicole. I don’t care what your arrangement is with my father, or what pharmaceuticals are involved in making that arrangement possible. But leave me the fuck out of it, OK?”

  136. Shrug, Reheating Leftover Comments
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Justin (#3):

    “Who actually calls it a doggie bag? I’ve only ever heard that term used in media, I’ve never heard it in an actual restaurant.”

    Cook, to Waiter: Well, how did they like my food?
    Waiter: They asked for a doggie bag. I think that means that your food is going to be sent to a farm upstate where it can run and play all day long.

  137. Gringo
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @John C (#123): Pluggers check to see the statuses of their tontines

    My god, I just recently rewatched The Wrong Box, and the reference to “tontines” made me LOL.

  138. Shrug, Shaken But Not Stirred
    December 11th, 2012 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#63):

    “Margo’s probably going to be in the 007 movie too.

    ********

    “My name is Pouty Galore.”

  139. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): IRT your sermon, I don’t know if Mary’s a Christian or not, but I’ll give her a break on not attributing that particular platitude.

    “Grief is the price we pay for love,” WAS famously said by Queen Elizabeth II (who is herself the head of a whole church!) at Princess Diana’s funeral. Some people credit C.S. Lewis with it originally, probably because he wrote a whole book, A Grief Observed, on the subject of grief, from a Christian perspective, of course. But I don’t think that actual quote is in there.

    I’d assign it to our old friend Anonymous, who as you know, was very eclectic in his religious beliefs.

  140. Dood
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Do pluggers use doggie bags? I could seriously see chicken-women clucking for them, knowing their husbands’ ravenous appetites and wanting to avoid an early listing in the six-page obit section.

  141. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Nancy: Aunt Fritzi used to be quite slender, but now she might have trouble finding her chips.

    // Not that I object. Not at all.

  142. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    Zippy: Underground comix from 1973? Wow, there was this brilliant guy named Bill Griffith working around then!

  143. Shrug, Six Feet Up from the Goal Line
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#72):

    “12 page obituary section compared with a 4 page sports section: charge toward extinction, or advertising gone horribly, horribly wrong?”

    In the PLUGGER world, funerals *are* a sporting event. Where do you think David Prill got the idea for his book?

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Unnatural-Novel-David-Prill/dp/0312119100

  144. Liam
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    MW-”So if you don’t want to grieve then don’t love anyone.”

    MW 2-”Now I’m going to sit here and take credit for what happened with Dawn and Jim even though I spent the entire time turning a simple advice column into my own personal soapbox.”

    Pluggers-”I just need to see how many of my enemies are dead.”

    Spiderman-Kraven’s a player. He loves em and leaves em.

    Zits-”Didn’t you know that I’m a portrayal of what the writer thinks every teenager is like.”

  145. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139):

    I believe your Anonymous quote is apocryphal. From his famous book “I Never Said That!” (though some claim it was ghostwritten).

  146. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#145): Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

  147. Shrug, Resting After a Prolonged Sqwack
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Tophat (#129):

    “The point I’m trying to make here is that there would have to be a horrific accident of apocalyptic proportions for the small town pluggerville newspaper to need to run a massive 12 page obituary section like the one Dog Man is reading in today’s Pluggers.”

    Just because all of the Pluggers we actually see are large or largish animals (dogs, bears, chickens, kangaroos, rhinos, etc.), please let’s not assume that the local Pluggerville paper would discriminate against all of those fine upstanding smaller Pluggers who must also be part of their community. In other words, of those 12 pages, 11.9 of them are devoted to obituaries of local goldfish, guppies, butterflies, ants, etc.

    /// The Mayflies section is especially poignant, being combined with their birth and marriage annoucement columns.

  148. commodorejohn
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#21): Good grief, why would Mary be a Christian? That would involve acknowledging a higher authority of greater wisdom than herself.

  149. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#146):

    I’m just getting started!

  150. Liam
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey-Beetle has grown accustomed to the beatings.

    FC-It’s the stuff that Mommy wants.

  151. Baka Gaijin
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#146): That could be said about many posters on this board.

  152. Shrug, With Useful Phrase of the Day
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Punch line in today’s POOCH CAFE is “Oh great, the idiots are back.” It’s another of those lines which can be slipped in seamlessly in a great many comic strips.

  153. oh i get it
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    so that dog had sex with the chicken, right

  154. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#72):
    Given the events of the last few years (and wekks), it seems like most of the obits are devoted to pro sports players. : (

  155. Calico
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    *weeks*
    Sorry

  156. Peanut Gallery
    December 11th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#86): It could be the answer to “What kind of fish-fish is in the jambalaya-jambalaya?”

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): I’ll be deeply disappointed if you can’t snap together the storage boxes to make giant meta-Lego structures.

  157. UncleJeff
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Re: Jeff Millar.
    My favorite (if you wanna call it that) “Tank McNamara” was a small arc they ran in which a female co-worker asked him why the big sportscaster wasn’t drinking alcohol with the rest of the staff. She teased him about not being a stereotypical jock.
    Over the next couple of days, “Tank” talked about his college girlfriend and their drinking adventures and how they broke up when she developed an alcohol problem.
    In the final strip, “Tank” told how one night, he got a call to go to the county morgue to identify a car crash victim. The only ID they could find was his phone number.
    The last panel showed “Tank’s” back as he walked away and his last words to his co-worker: “And that’s why I don’t drink anymore.”

  158. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    DtM: I love Henry’s suit jacket, but something tells me the other patrons would complain about it upsetting their digestion.

    MW: Is this computer’s monitor on wheels or something? In the first panel it’s like a foot to the left of her, then she’s staring right into it in panel 2.

    FW: “Well, because I’m only planning to pay you enough for a Big Mac and large coke, that’s why.”

    C-Shaft: Most of the kids on Crankshaft’s route are at the age where they’ve already heard the secret about Santa. Plus they have Crankshaft for a driver, so there’s plenty of better stuff to get therapy over.

    JP: Yeah, this one wasn’t too hard to predict. As soon as it comes to break the eloping news to his hot stepmother, Randy just stands there like an idiot.

    GA: “Those are the napkins we’re going to crap in!”

    H&L: Chip the classic rock fan knows all about the Beatles’ “Money (That’s What I Want)”. Or if he’s really impressive, the Barrett Strong original.

    DT: “Mista B?” Why is Belle talking like Harley Quin? She’s in league with the model for the Penguin, not a Joker ripoff.

    GT: Gee Dr. Mengele, your boys from Brazil really like to roughhouse.

    S-M: “Kraven! I’ve got a bone to pick with you! About the mysteries of the human heart.”

    SFx: I was going to say the kid with the pet ostrich must be the envy of all his classmates. But I think they might be classified as illegal exotic animals, so he’d have to keep it on the down-low.

    Lockhorns: I remember “MTV Cribs”, so I know what that means. Loretta apparently doesn’t unless she thinks Leroy is having lots of freaky cubicle sex. Lord, he’s not, is he?

  159. bats :[
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#158): re DT: maybe she’s Harley’s sister…supervillains are such an incestuous little bunch, nepotism runs rampant.

  160. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    @Lupin The 3.1415926th (#115): “Operation Kid Brother”! Now that was a jewel. I saw it on MST3K, and the best part may have been how – because of having zero license to show Bond characters – all the actors had to address each other by their real names.

  161. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#148): My higher power is Wilbur.

  162. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#139): Anonymous? Isn’t he one of the melonheads’ imaginary friends?

  163. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#66): Someday I might eat Craisins again. But not today.

  164. Alfred E. Neuman
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#22) said: “9CL- I don’t have the slightest goddam clue what is going on here.”

    Juliette’s husband is looking to get a mouth posture that exemplifies the oh-so-sophisticated demeanor expected of 9CL characters. Had he been in Funky Winkerbean, he would have gone to a smirk doctor.

  165. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#156): I’ll be deeply disappointed if you can’t snap together the storage boxes to make giant meta-Lego structures.

    Fear not! Of course you can! They are designed for people who have enormous collections of LEGO pieces. The boxes are made to snap together, for neater storage.

    // My wife is a LEGO fanatic, belongs to the local club, volunteers at events, etc.. You might be surprised at how big a thing it is among adults. There are a lot of Ted Forths out there.

  166. Alison
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    “Dennis the Menace”: “Herman” had a much better version of that joke years ago- Herman has finished a lousy meal and tells the waiter, “I’d ask for a doggie bag, but my doggie wouldn’t eat that if you paid him.” Man, I miss “Herman”, it was my favorite comic strip.

    “Mary Worth”: Weeks of how important friendship is, and now, out of the blue, a strip about how all friendships end in sadness due to inevitable death. This amuses me, actually.

  167. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Anyone notice the Slylock tribute in Ink Pen?

  168. This Guy
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#162): I think so. He’s the one who does not forget and does not forgive.

  169. This Guy
    December 11th, 2012 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

  170. Uncle Lumpy
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#166):

    Herman‘s still around, although creator Jim Unger died this year. I liked it too, but the art always bothered me. It looked like animals poking fun at themselves by drawing themselves as humans.

  171. Mibbitmaker
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#45): Actually, a place with a ravioli dish with lobster in it! (My mom’s treat).

    Thanks!

  172. Horace Broon
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Don’t tell me he’s the new James Bond! Because that wouldn’t make any sense at all!”

    BB: Damn, another one where it looks like the Walkers are in on the gag. That’s no fun!

    FW: “Crazy, I’m deeply moved by your strong feelings for your collection, and the desperate measures that have forced you to part with it. So, three bucks for the lot?”

    HtH: When the syndicate – having approved countless cartoons showing savage sword-swinging Vikings having arrows rained down on them – suddenly balked at a panel in which Hagar was hit in the face, claiming this was “imitable behaviour”, Browne was forced to violate “show, don’t tell” in a desperate attempt to salvage the joke.

    MW Yesterday, I wrote “We can’t possibly be in for a week of Mary patting herself on the back for her non-involvement in this storyline … can we?” Oh my god…

    Phantom: Old Jungle Saying: “He who sups with a lioness should use a long stick loaded with animal tranquilisers.” Hey, they can’t all be winners.

  173. debussy fields
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    FC– Sometimes the Family Circus brings out the worst in me, like when I saw today’s piece. My reaction: SHUT UP, YOU SELFISH LITTLE PIG!!!!

  174. LurkerMan
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    “Because, Dennis, he’ll be dead soon.”

  175. Mibbitmaker
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#83): “This… is an EX-POTEET!” sounds kinda like “This is an EX-PARROT!”

    I almost toyed with the idea of having mine simply read “potrzebie“, but that wouldn’t be right.

  176. tallyHO
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#168):

    He’s the one who does not forget and does not forgive.
    Yeah.
    Santa Claus can be a real bastard.

  177. Alison
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#170):
    Yeah, they actually still publish “Herman” in my newspaper (although occasionally they edit it to make it more politically correct, which I don’t like-I’d rather they just not run those strips). But I wish there were new ones because I’ve read them all.

    I agree the art is clumsy, but I actually like that, because I think it suits the strip. Since the characters are generally hard-luck people in lousy situations, I think if the art was stylish it wouldn’t reflect that so well. Now, something like “Crock” or “B.C.”, IMO the art is just lazy and amatuer for no reason other than the artist doesn’t want to bother to do better. (The best case of this is from a strip not many people have heard of called “Reply All”-dear Lord, the art in that strip looks like it was made using MS Paint in 1998.)

  178. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#177): … a strip not many people have heard of…

    Oh, we’ve heard of it all right. But the general consensus is that we do not speak of it, and maybe it will go away. It sometimes comes up in an exchange like:

    “Such and such is a horrible, terrible, rotten, no-good strip!”.
    “Well, sure, but it’s not as bad as RA.”
    “That’s true. Ok.”

    // So, RA has its purpose in the universe, which you yourself have just demonstrated.

  179. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#172): Hey, they can’t all be winners.

    I bet it sounds pretty awesome in the Bandar tongue, though.

  180. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): Don’t forget the alternative version:
    “So-and-so is a no-talent hack! He must have some pretty compromising pictures of the comics editor, or he would have been gone long ago!”
    “Well, sure, but he’s still not as awful as Donna A. Lewis!”
    “That’s true. Okay.”

  181. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#135): I know. Not to mention that Randy and April, being grown-ass adults with their own well-paying jobs, are perfectly capable of making the arrangements for the wedding themselves, and would thus be able to say, “Oh, that’s so kind of you to offer, but we’ve already arranged everything. Why don’t you focus on finding yourself a lovely dress for the occasion?”

    Or, they could actually elope like Randy said they intended to. Hint to Randy: eloping means getting married without telling anyone until afterwards. Eloping, UR DOIN IT RONG.

    Also, if you can’t stand up to this woman in the matter of your own wedding, what do you think is going to happen after you get married, or if you end up having children? Do you really want her all up in your business the entire rest of her life? No? Then put your foot down.

    //Sometimes I think that the majority of comic strips characters would really benefit from a long sit-down with Captain Awkward’s archives. (Hello, Ted Forth!)

  182. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#22): Alternate theory: Brooke went to the dentist this week and is still high from the nitrous oxide.

  183. This Guy
    December 11th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): I think that in addition, many of us can’t even bear to look at Ms. Lewis’s steaming offal. And even for those with strong stomachs indeed, there’s never much more to say than “this comic is an assault on the very concept of sequential art.”

  184. Shrug, Being a Pest
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#172):

    “Phantom: Old Jungle Saying: “He who sups with a lioness should use a long stick loaded with animal tranquilisers.” ”

    Old Jungle Saying? Nonsense. The internets insist it was Camus.

  185. Dennis
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#14): Why the hell would a six year old boy care so much about the new JC Penney catalog? JC Penney is mostly a clothing store. When I was six you had to drag me kicking and screaming every inch of the way to a store like that.

  186. Anonymous
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    So I just now went back and read this arc of FW.

    Now I do a purge of the bookcases every five years or so, just so we have room to move around here, and there’s absolutely no point in what he’s doing. Yeah, if he has some collectible comics, it’s worth selling them, but Ken Kesey? Unless he’s got some first editions in there, he’ll be lucky to find a used bookstore that will take that stuff off his hands. All those boxes of books there will add up to about fifty bucks, max. He’d do better selling them one at a time on ebay. And he’s dumping all his comics, which possibly do have some value, on a little storefront operation that never seems to have any customers? Again, ebay.
    It might make some sense to sell off a few high value items to bring in a little cash, but stripping his shelves like this is just maudlin self pity.

    Oh, wait – Funky Winkerbean/maudlin self pity. That’s a redundancy, isn’t it?

  187. Droopy Says
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#186): With the FW Komix Arx, we’re in for another week of lecturing from Boring Komix Guy. Since FW tries to be depressing as possible, my guess is he’ll tell Krazy that keeping your old comic books will add at least a dozen years to your life. In Cancerville.

  188. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#186): I wish Krazy Kat would show up in Komix Korner and start throwing bricks.

  189. Fashion Police
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    We find it so terribly tragic that Mr. Henry Mitchell must go through life knowing that his five-year-old son dresses better than he does. It is doubly poignant because Mr. Mitchell is one of those rare gents who can make a bow tie work for them. It is truly astonishing that his taste in clothing is otherwise so appalling.

  190. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#180): So you are saying, as Voltaire might, that if Donna Lewis did not exist, we would have to invent her? Which implies, obviously, that D. Lewis is like God!

    // The implications are stupendous!

  191. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#48):

    He’d probably look pretty spiff in facial hair…

    Hmm… have we ever seen Mark with facial hair?

  192. Chrononhotonthologos
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190): Yes. Donna A. Lewis is God, and Reply All is Her revelation. Let the Mayan Apocalypse begin!

  193. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190): If so, then better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven.

  194. tallyHO
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    Doggie Bag jokes aside, “Dennis the Menace” looks great. That is an awesome drawing.

    After looking through those 9CLs yesterday, and subjecting myself to waddling through many others on a daily basis, both DtM and “Blondie” still look great. That doesn’t give them a pass on everything else but it keeps the bottom from falling out of them.

  195. tallyHO
    December 11th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190):

    Waitasec!
    Voltaire?
    I thought Voltron said that (in binary-speak)!

  196. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#133): I wonder how many of the obituaries in the Pluggerville Daily Deathwatch include the phrase “lost the will to live after realizing she was a Plugger”.
    The paper’s motto is “Yes, We’re Pluggers, but at Least We Don’t Live in Three Goddamn Rocks.”

  197. Alison
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#178): @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#180):
    I had no idea “Reply All” was well-known! After I read your comments I went and Googled it and no kidding, before I could finish, the search engine automatically filled in the search as “Reply All terrible”. Wowza. How does a strip like that survive? I know a lot of comics are still around because elderly people think they are cute (like the “Family Circus”) but I can’t imagine that’s the case here, since there are no little moppets in “Reply All”. A mystery.

  198. Jamus The Bartender
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: I bet you anything Ted’s mom used to read him those scary German bedtime stories about scary scissor handed monsters who used to cut off bad little boy’s hands, feet and penises. I bet she did.

    Dick Tracy: Belle looks real hot in Green Arrow’s costume.

  199. Jamus The Bartender
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    Strips Jamus The Bartender Has Never Read Before

    Cats With Hands

    What it’s about: Okay, the title naturally interested me, because….Cassandra, Ashley Bengal, all of that….but that’s not what this is about. This seems to be a daily study of what cats think about while on the window sill. Also, sometimes they’re in an office. Not even wearing clothes or walking around. Just normal cats. More or less.

    Good Points: Lots of them. The art seems more or less suited towards a black and white daily strip. Very poignant and reflective. They talk about eating birds and mice, and, while not laugh out loud funny, it captures the “stop and think” vibe that Family Circus aims for, but without being all Christian preachy.

    Bad Points: Yeah, it’s not very funny. No regular cast of characters either, not very ambitious, but, it does what it sets out to do. Deliver a daily chuckle. I could look at these all day.

    Snark Factor: I would have to say not much from us, mostly because it’s the cats themselves that are doing much of the snarking.

    Sex Factor: Not so much.

    Geek Factor: Eat, sleep, chase birds and mice. That’s what cats do. They don’t go to movies, read comics or watch DVDs.

    And what about…: Laying about on the windowsill all day….yeah, Cassandra could get into that.

  200. Alter Ego
    December 11th, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#197):

    How does a strip like that survive?

    I opined on that, in my clumsy way, a while back, and Uncle Lumpy summed it up most elegantly.

  201. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#180): and most of all, pointing out that the pre-teen artist featured in the Sunday Slylock Fox is STILL better than Ms Lewis.

    as a bit of history, that drekage of a strip was basically chosen to replace ACKthy when that strip died a long-deserved death, and that was roughly the same time that MyCage was cancelled. We, the MyCage loving ‘mudges, screamed right royally about it for some time, then put the butthurt aside, in the closets next to the “Gore WON!” stickers and the “Oh Brother” merch.

    *weeps*

  202. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#190): Whenever you see RA just try to keep reassuring yourself, “All is for the best in this best of all possible comics pages.”

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#191): Hmm… have we ever seen Mark with facial hair?
    Yes.

    @Alison (#197): Wowza. How does a strip like that survive?
    I strongly suspect the Washington Post Writers Group must give it away to any papers that will take it. I can’t imagine anyone’s actually paying to run it.

  203. Sequitur
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    So I’m sitting here watching NCIS Los Angeles and the NCIS guys find a trail of blood. They follow the trail up to a dumpster. The first agent opens the dumpster lid then slams the lid shut. “Oh, man” he says. His partner checks out the dumpster and opens the lid. Inside is a dead clown. The first agent says, “Man, I hate clowns.” The partner says, “Not so funny when they’re dead, right?”

    Anyway, based on what the first agent said, BAKA GAIJIN is an NCIS agent.

  204. Arabella
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis (#185): Back in the 80′s, JC Penney had a Christmas toy catalog which rivaled the Sears version. Catalog Arrival Day was a big event for my then-young children.

  205. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#201): that post should be considered a follow-up to bb,u’s comment, not a response. bb,u and I share a mighty loathing for RA, but it’s easier to avoid than to continue to gnaw on the bone of discontent.

    (sort of the same reason that I avoid Argyle Suckitude, by the plageristic HACK trying to be Gary Larson.)

  206. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#205): One piece of evidence that not only is Donna A. Lewis not god, but there is no god at all: Cul de Sac no longer runs, but Reply All does. Not even Mary Worth, vengeful goddess of all that is platitudinous, would visit such punishment upon her people!

  207. Peanut Gallery
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#165): I should have known the country that brought us Victor Borge wouldn’t let me down. Now, it would be incredibly great if the offices of Lego World Headquarters were constructed entirely out of Lego. But that would be, as we all know, far too expensive.

  208. Not Worth It
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    DtM – Don’t underestimate Dennis’s powers of embarrassment. He’s just gotten a bit confused about the social mores of the current decade. If this had been the 1950s, the Mitchells would by now be turning crimson and sinking under the table at the revelation that they are such low-class folks that they scrounge table scraps fit only for the family pet. My mother has often told me that when she was growing up, you would never admit that you ate what was sent home in the doggie bag. It would be like saying you trotted behind the restaurant before you went home to pick up the potato peelings to fry for breakfast. The fact that Dennis’s parents are only looking at their son with a sort of wry resignation indicates that they (and the strip’s artist) know that nowadays leaving your leftovers is a polite way of telling the kitchen that the shrimp scampi contained an extra finger. The actual joke in this panel is that Dennis is a child of the past, living in an era he cannot understand, even as his parents have changed with the times. Kinda like the strip itself.

  209. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#177): Would it surprise you to hear that the Reply All site is designed in Comics Sans?

  210. pastordan, snark late shift
    December 11th, 2012 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

  211. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#206): bb,u, I’ve been thinking about doing one of the 4=panel memes to that regard.

    “but, but, Dustin won a Reuben?”

  212. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

  213. Girl Reporter
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    I thought little boys were big fans of the Sears and JC Penney catalogs because of the bra ads.

  214. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    December 11th, 2012 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#209): Okay, I’d never seen this strip, so as y’all have been talking about it I’ve been envisioning something between Fred Bassett, Adam@Home, and Crock – your usual boring, not-quite-funny, competently but blandly drawn, joke-a-day strip. So then I click on your link, and it is instead a horribly drawn THING that even the most amateurish of high school web-comic artists doodling on Deviant Art would be embarrassed by. And it is in papers? People pay for it? Please someone tell me that those scribbles were in fact fan art that the real artist put up because they love their fans, and not the actual strip.

  215. tallyHO
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#213):
    Those were Books of Wonder and Joy, practically from cover to cover.

  216. seismic-2
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#213): Spiegel. ‘Nuff said.

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#214): What you see is what you get. However, it is possible to get the single-panel strip too, if you need twice as much Reply All in your life.

  217. Sgt. Stoned
    December 11th, 2012 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: I sure love both of my arms, and would hate to lose either one of them. Right , Jim?

  218. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#210): Now it comes out. I don’t want to reopen old wounds, but as I recall, you left your recent pastoring gig over money issues, right? You were a little vague about the details, but now it’s clear: The Building Committee wouldn’t accept your plans for a new giant LEGO church, is that it? No wonder you’re so bitter about the price of the blocks!

    // You have my sympathy, these old fogies in rural communities are so hidebound! Still you must remember, when those Pluggers were young, their churches were made of giant Lincoln Logs. Perhaps, if you had worked up to it gradually, a new Fellowship Hall of giant Tinker Toys, or an Erector Set parsonage…

  219. seismic-2
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

  220. Droopy Says
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: So Kraven’s brilliant plan to steal the tiara involves leaving it at the center of the museum’s hi-tech, low-wage security system, which will be readily defeated by a couple of trained chimps which nobody will notice when they review the CCTV recordings.

    Spidercolon: I saw Spidertwit clinging to the wall in that head-down, legs-spread posture, and I could only hope he’s troubled by incontinence.

    Flunky Flabby:How much effort does it take to keep your boxed comic books in “pristine” condition? “Yeah, I stood there all day, not touching the box while I made sure the dehumidifier was on.” Oh, right, it’s a lame excuse to work “priorities” into the “conversation.”

    Family Circus: If this comic is so highly amusing, why do Thel and Bil always look like they’re resigned to suicide?

    On The Fastrack: Dethany is into some weird kink, isn’t she?

    Mock Trail: “A big wave?” Jeeze, Trail, when you were a kid did you tell mommy “I didn’t take the last cookie! A man in a black mask broke in and stole it!” Because I don’t think even the dumbest henchman is going to buy your story, and why should they? The readers don’t believe it, and we saw it.

    Pluggers: It’s official, “back in the day” is now an obsolete expression.

    Kit and KittyKat: No, Stripey-Butt, the lionness is not out of options. You’re still on her menu.

  221. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#214): Honestly, I hadn’t looked at the Reply All in about six months, but when I checked it out today, just to validate my loathing, I found it to be much improved. When last I looked it was all in black and white. But on Go Comics, which is the only place I could find it today, it is now in color. The drawing is the same old scribble, the writing is… nevermind. But the color, that’s kind of nice. Big blocks of bright cheery colors, almost Mondrian-like. If you sort of half focus your eyes, and don’t allow yourself to read the script, it’s almost enjoyable.

    // I find it helps if I take my glasses off first.

  222. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#219):

    Holy glurge!

  223. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 12th, 2012 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#221): // I find it helps if I take my glasses off first.

    For those of you blessed with good vision, who don’t need glasses or contacts, I recommend you borrow a pair from a friend with bad vision, and put them on before viewing RA. It helps.

  224. seismic-2
    December 12th, 2012 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#223): But for this strip, glasses always help. Especially if they’re filled with Scotch.

  225. This Guy
    December 12th, 2012 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#222): I will say it’s about the first glurge I’ve seen that wasn’t printed in Comic Sans on a pastel background.

  226. Mr. O'Malley
    December 12th, 2012 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    @Not Worth It (#208): That’s very true. Nowadays we find no shame in saying “these portions are too big, I’ll take the rest with me for lunch tomorrow”. After all, you’re paying for the whole plateful. Also, we have microwaves to conveniently heat up our leftovers.

    But for the generation that went through the Depression and WWII, they did feel ashamed at any hint that they needed to scrimp and save (which of course most people did), hence the face-saving conceit of taking the leftovers home for good ol’ Rover. I think it died out some time in the early 1960s.

    DtM is a good example of comic strips that preserve tropes from long ago. A lot of DtM is frozen in the 1950s. One could probably do an interesting anthropological study.

  227. Dale
    December 12th, 2012 at 4:30 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL has a first aid kit in his duffel bag. Big deal: I had one in my Boy Scout knapsack.

    Where is the duffel bag? Not on the island. When Mark transferred from the small fishing boat to Otto’s boat, Otto let him bring a fishing rod, tackle box and dog. Did Mark go back for his duffel bag which would never been on the fishing boat?

    MARK, these people know about shark bites and have better drugs than you will ever have.

  228. Mike Hock
    December 12th, 2012 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    “Don’t you want the sports section, dear?”

    “Can’t you see I’m reading the obits? I’m hoping to God I’m in them. It turns out I’m a dog-headed freak, and you … you … I … oh God, let me be dead.”

  229. Mike Hock
    December 12th, 2012 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    Son, Ruff’s IN the doggie bag. What’s left of him, that is. Why do you think we’re celebrating? Ha, ha! Now who’s menacing?

  230. Vince M
    December 12th, 2012 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#160): My favorite bit was the chart comparing the careers of Neil Connery and his brother Sean – “Neil’s talent for selling lightbulbs over the phone is discovered, leading to long life of menial jobs and aimless drifting.”

  231. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 12th, 2012 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Just read that day’s post…geez, that Momma strip about Clint Eastwood is super-ironic now, huh?

  232. Lupin The 3.1415926th
    December 12th, 2012 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#200):

    Previous post was a reply to #200, but there was a malfunction at the internet junction, it would seem.

  233. Damien
    December 12th, 2012 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Is that the ravioli-headed dining on his own in the far background?

  234. Cleve Barrister
    December 12th, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#172):Oh yeah-once Crazy already shlepped those boxes in BEFORE discussing the price, he’s in a terrible negotiating position (as in “none”)

  235. Patrick
    December 12th, 2012 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    This just in! Pluggers publicly outs Cosmo Fishhawk’s secret homosexual relationship with an anthropomorphic dog. Despite the unprecedented event of one comic outing another, media and public response was low, as their relationship was incredibly boring. The sauciest picture in the whole set was the two splitting a Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast.

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