The Comics Curmudgeon

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LoFo after dark

Mark Trail, 6/9/08

Is it just me or is Cherry actually looking a little excited about Kelly Welly coming to Lost Forest and asking her do things that might be outside of her comfort zone? With Mark once again dropping by for thirty seconds, talking to her like she’s eleven years old (just because you’re an emotionally arrested man-child doesn’t mean everybody is, Mark), and then fleeing into the woods, poor Cherry needs to have her fun somehow. Admittedly, girl-on-girl action in Mark Trail would be among the least hot girl-on-girl action in any daily comic strip (not as sexy as it would be in Herb and Jamaal, but probably sexier than it would be in Cathy), but anything’s gotta be more interesting than Mark handing out free puppies to sad little girls.

For Better Or For Worse, 6/9/08

Oh, it’s ever so appropriate that Liz will be finally shoved headlong into the spiritual and emotional death that her marriage to Anthony represents by the looming specter of her grandfather’s actual death. That’s the great circle of death, is what that is.

Judge Parker, 6/9/08

“Bales and bales of awesome weed … all gone! That’s the sad part. Oh, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry…”

This entry was posted on Monday, June 9, 2008 at 04:23 pm and is filed under For Better or for Worse, Judge Parker, Mark Trail.

95 responses to “LoFo after dark”

Ned Ryerson
June 9th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

I wanna Josh ringtone!
johnw
June 9th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

My God, what is that… THING… in panel 2 of “Mark Trail”? A Chernobyl Chickadee? Giant mutant beast with Evil Dead eyes! Please, please, make it go away! If it’s still here at nightfall, I just know it’s going to invade my dreams and steal my soul.
Eats Shoots And Leaves
June 9th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

I want a FOOB ringtone which is sounds of gobbling, slurping and munching.
Spike
June 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

JP: How nice. Now sam and Abbey can acquire even more land. Them that has gets more, I guess.
Filthy Assistant
June 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Ah, the wonderful FOOB, who shuns such insane ideas as “punch lines”.
Old School Allie Cat
June 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Foob – Just out of curiousity, without the aid of time travel or lots of illegal drugs, is there any way to take life more than one day at a time?

If there is, a lot of us will be skipping through the work week.

Of course, in Judge Parker, one day at a time could take years….
Roscoe
June 9th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Just GO and have fun with Rusty, I’ll stay here and TAKE CARE of Kelly.

My God, the blatant sexual undertones are getting out of hand!!
Saluki
June 9th, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

You go Mallard Fillmore! Only elitists drink fancy coffee beverages. If the average person did there would be a Starbucks on about every block in America.

Oh wait.
Lez Patterson
June 9th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

Congratulations Liz! While most people’s marriages are founded on mutual love and respect, yours will be founded on pity, passive-aggressive manipulation from your loathsome family, a complete lack of sexual attraction to your intended spouse, and the lingering stench of shame! Hooray!
Wanders
June 9th, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth has got me thinking all about Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. What a cutie. Julie Andrews that is!
Luprand
June 9th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

I like the look of stark terror on April’s face in the last panel. It’s like every time she looks at Grampa Jim, she relives that moment when Farley died to save her soul. The next panel would have shown her with her knees tucked up under her chin, rocking back and forth and barking.
skullcrusherjones
June 9th, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Judge, don’t listen to Abbey, she’s just talking out her ass again.
Tom
June 9th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

Re: Judge Parker

Is it just me, or is Abbey literally talking out of her butt in that first panel?
John C Fremont
June 9th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

MT – “You’ve got to give me a little credit, my little chickadee.”

JP – That’s right, Abbey, take off that constricting jacket. Now take off June Morgan’s shirt. Yes, that’s it. Oh, yeah.
wobblie
June 9th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

I see the lingering effects of that pot brownie have found their expression in Abbey’s sartorial proclivities. You’d have to be high to wear that blouse.
Dr. Crippen
June 9th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Girl-on-girl in “Herb and Jamaal”:

“I heard that they were in that position named after a number that those types seem so fond of!”
rotts
June 9th, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

Josh,

You stuck an extra “that”, before the “what” in the FOOB comment: “That’s the great circle of death, is that what that is.”
Mad Dog Rackham
June 9th, 2008 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

Girl-on-girl in “Cathy”

ACK!
pccmdoc
June 9th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Sam is ’still working?’

Still working on the bottle of wine sitting on his desk? or still working on trying to figure out where to get his new supply of stash now that his local supplier has been found out…
Tom
June 9th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Re: skullcrusherjones #12

Sorry, we were apparently typing at the same type, and you hit “post” more quickly than I. I am ashamed to come up second on the “Abbey’s butt” joke.
towanda
June 9th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

I don’t know which is more upset about that sweet, sweet weed going up in smoke–Abbey’s ass or her boob.
yellojkt
June 9th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

Cherry Popping Kelly and Rusty Nailing Mark are two porn titles I hope to never see.
Four Questions About The Funnies
June 9th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

1: FOOB- Why does Liz even ask about her grandfather? She obviously doesn’t give enough of a crap about him to even get out of the car and say hi when she came to his house to pick up April. So why even ask about him? Oh yeah, to make sure he won’t ruin her wedding plans by dropping dead too soon. He’d better hang on until the Big Day, no matter how sick he is or how much pain he might be in. After the Wedding of the Century, he can go drop dead, but not one second before!

2, 3: Crankshaft– What the hell does “we’re the wild now” even mean? Who is the wild? Wild how? What the hell?

4: Spiderman– Why wouldn’t the chopper pilot just change directions to move the rotors toward the irritating Vulture, rather than just hand over the jewels?
AlphabetFish
June 9th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Sure, Liz, guilt is a great reason to get married to a guy. So is a grudge against his ex-wife, a weariness of dating around, comfort in the familiar, and pressure from your parents.

I give it 5 years–I can imagine them clinging to one another, torn by their stifling boredom and their fear of change and loneliness before the vice of mundaneness overwhelms their last excuses to stay together.
Danny_G
June 9th, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

Poor Liz. Her parents have been shoving Anthony down her throat for years, even back when she was with someone far more interesting, and now A-po is waving her ailing grandfather in her face. “Marry him NOW, or grampa Jim will DIE!”

Their wedding should clearly end with Liz saying “I do,” and then turning to her assembled family, shouting “THERE! I married him! Are you all happy now!?” and collapsing in tears as she weeps for her hopes and dreams that shall never be.
BCist
June 9th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Who the hell draws the faces for FOOB? Some kind of fish who’s never seen a human?
gnome de blog
June 9th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

So on her first date after kicking out the long-suffering Doc Cory, Mary Worth wears the tomato-red pantsuit and girly-tie outfit. Probably the sexiest thing in her closet.
blurg
June 9th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

#2: My God, what is that… THING… in panel 2 of “Mark Trail”? A Chernobyl Chickadee?

I had the same reaction, only to April’s lamprey-mouth. Thanks for that, Mudegon. It was bad enough at the microscopic size the paper printed it as.
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
June 9th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I suppose it’s a tired point, but JP should really be retitled “Sexy People Doing Boring Things”. If it weren’t for tight shirts, would any of us read the strip? Ok, I only read it here, but still, the tight shirts help.

Way to rock the pale green polo, you stud you!
Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
June 9th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

OK, off-topic, but there should be a whole sub-genre of porn called “sexy people doing boring things”. Hott ladiez doin’ their taxes! Beefy studs operate the photocopier niiice and slooow.
NosferatusCoffin
June 9th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

So, Grampa Jim must live so that Loathsome Liz can get married to old Square Jaw/Cookie Cutter Anthony? Looks like we either have a case of Grandparents of the Corn going on here or Liz had DNA contact with someone in Funky Winkerbean Universe.
Mac
June 9th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

JUST GO AND HAVE FUN WITH RUSTY!

Look, woman, this is Mark Trail, not Rex Morgan. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Rainbird
June 9th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh,

Life imitates art or something. You got mentioned in Fart Party today. I agree with her sentiment.
Mac
June 9th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

It would be the greatest thing ever should Grampa Jim pull a Farley at the Granthony-Lizardbreath nuptials. Which, of course, must go on while Deanna (who gets all the icky jobs, like being married to Michael) has to wheel the body out.
Lapsed Librarian
June 9th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

Yeah, Mark, Cherry will be just fine. She has those two talking chickadees watching out for her. They know how to take care of Kelly.
Tom
June 9th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

But one of them is an evil chickadee. That, my friend, is quite obviously Jabba the Chickadee.
Lolsworth
June 9th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

You have to be kidding. Hot Swedish Mark Trail Lesbian Action < the same only Herb and Jamaal? Dude, at least Jack Elrod can draw people who look reasonably attractive. Whoever the crap does Herb and Jamaal (assuming it doesn’t just spontaneously come into being unbidden, as I’ve always suspected) can’t even draw people who look reasonably human.
Girl Reporter
June 9th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

Liz can’t even get out of the car? Liz can’t even get out of the freakin’ car?!
Thinks He's Brenda Starr
June 9th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

No, Kelly! It’s a trap! Stay out of Lost Forest!

Cherry will lure the eternally horny Kelly into the woods, and as soon as Kelly lets her guard down POW!

It makes sense that Mark could only fall in love with a woman who can throw a solid (and not entirely rational) punch. These two actually have a very fulfilling love life; but instead of sex, there’s punching.

In that light, I wonder if Cherry is aware that Mark punches other men when she’s not around.
Lynngineering
June 9th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

FBOFW: Grandpa Jim should be lucky to get the same sainted treatment as Farley-the-wonder-dog’s death.

The kids of Saint Michael have shown all the care about is his stuff. Liz has shown she can’t be bothered to get out of the car and say hello. Iris is holding in her resentment at becoming some neurotic martyr, a hybrid-step-and-fetchit-seeing-eye-dog…
I think they are all counting the days basically.

Jim’s spiritually paired with April in many ways, a kind of bridge between one kind of comic strip that FBOFW was and the one it is now. So it is a possibility he may get the last big send-off that Lynn can still muster. April is a bonus factor. When April’s rabbit died, the strip was also done well. Lynn likes to show April in relation to death, and come to think of it, near-sex experiences.

I’m willing to bet Jim’s death will even get one of those patented extra-pay, focus-on-the-composition-of-a-pair-of-hands panels. If Liz’s stupid ring was enough to warrant one, his death surely is.
Count Duckula
June 9th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Hey everyone, long time listener, first time caller.

I think Lynn Johnston has been reading here and is setting us all up for a big foob thrill as Liz finally snaps at all the expectations the Patterson clan is pouring on. The strip is intentionally making it look stiflingly predetermined, and if you think Liz isn’t aware of the insane pressure, well, maybe you just don’t have enough faith in the author.

I predict she’ll run off and join a lesbian commune south of the border, in that immoral city, Buffalo, having thrown Anthony’s ring into lake Ontario.
Cheeky Wee Monkeys
June 9th, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Well, this would explain what Cherry does all day while Mark runs off and punches people all over the country for stepping on worms.
gnome de blog
June 9th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

41, Duckula:
Wishful thinking, my friend. Lynn sent Elizabeth out to Mtignapathawpha just so she could find out that safe, predictable suburbia was far the superior life, just as the gray shades of Kansas are superior to Oz. Anthony is the man of Elizabeth’s dreams. The longer she drags it out the longer she’s the center of attention. In her own mind anyway.

Sorry.
Deena in OR
June 9th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Off topic-

Hey all…requesting good energy sent my way as I meet with a loan workout officer about my home tonight. It’s salvageable, but a scary situation. I’ll spare you the details, but this economy sucks.
Hot_Pie
June 9th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

FOOB:

…and Liz veers into oncoming traffic, thereby *really* closing that circle of death. Mercifully for the audience too.
Lunarhalo
June 9th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Oh come on Jack Elrod,
how hard would it have been
to draw a huge pair of tits
in panel two
instead of chickadees.

You have failed to find
even a linguistic level
of sexual innuendo
in the storyline.
Acme
June 9th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

So, Kelly Welly is her actual name, and not something made up by CC readers?! It sounds more like one of those dolls that pees itself than a character in a comic strip. Then I realized that “Mark Trail” is something an animal might do with urine. That seemed to be too much of a coincidence.

After some research of past strips, I determined that Mark Trail is actually code used by smugglers of illicit animal parts. Upon figuring this out, I immediately called the RCMP (being Canadian), who contacted the US Department of the Interior and the FBI. The gang will be arrested in (redacted) sometime next week. You’re welcome.
Rotten Arsenal
June 9th, 2008 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail & Kelly… worst Swingers EVER!
Tim O'Shenko
June 9th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

#16 Dr. Crippen: I imagine the girl-on-girl action in Herb & Jamaal would be more like this:
“It’s interesting how some groups still are offended by two people who are so similar sharing a common interest!”
John C Fremont
June 9th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

# 44 – Positive thoughts are on their way, Deena.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

11/Luprand: It’s like every time she looks at Grampa Jim, she relives that moment when Farley died to save her soul.

Actually, I’m kinda hoping for a FC/FOOB crossover, with the Keane’s Dead Grampa in Heaven yelling “Hey, Patterfoob! Get yer ass up in and clean up after yer goddamn dog!”

JP, RMMD – Regarding our discussion of the other day, how come Abbey, June, Gloria, et al never get “highbeams?” It would enhance my already considerable enjoyment of these strips.

44- Deena – Many good thoughts and wishes are on the way. I can empathize – I’m worried about my own house, which I bought at the top of the market three years ago. I’m currently jobless – in Michigan – so I can appreciate the stress you’re under. Best of luck.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

Agghh! That should read “Get yer ass up in here…”
Josh
June 9th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

#17 rotts — Eeps! Fixed.

Josh
Donald The Anarchist
June 9th, 2008 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

FOOB Forget Liz. I just hope Grampa is there to see Apwil lose her virginity. “This one’s for you, Grandpa…”

JP I understand Hunter Thomson’s coke habit involved a similar tragedy, called The Night The Dealer Refused To Extend His Credit…(SOB)
Dingo
June 9th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

Cherry’s eyes say it all. The flora and fauna of LoFo will scatter like Republicans when the Boom!-chicka-bow-wow begins. And with Kelly filming, sooner or later there’ll be a week where Rusty and his friends “discover” a video hidden in the garage.

Oh, in FOOB, my odds-on favorite for years was Gerald in the “to whom will April lose her virginity” sweepstakes. Now? I’m leaning towards the guitar.
fed up to HERE!
June 9th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Maybe it’s the heat, but the WHOLE comics page pisses me off something fierce today, mostly this one. I have railed about it to anyone who will listen but basically that idiotic wistful look on Liz’ fat lipped face makes me want to bash her head in with a baseball bat.

B.C. If that stinking drunk cockroach, or whatever it is, didn’t spend the grocery money on booze, and didn’t come home every night shitfaced, and didn’t throw up all morning – why then, maybe the wife cockroach wouldn’t have to hide money from him; maybe she would be able to USE that stove, to cook for him; maybe she would HAVE money to buy food. To cook.

Jesus, this strip burns me. Why is she telling him she’s been hiding a little money from him, anyway? Why is he so hostile and arrogant – oh, probably drunk. This strip is just loathesome.
Rainbird
June 9th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

Deena in OR #44

Sorry to hear it. Good luck with the loan officer. My partner has been on disability for a year, and is struggling to pay bills as well. AIt is hard out there.

Hopefully Josh can keep you laughing in the interim.
Bobdog, Jungle Patrol - SVU (not an Elephant, not Spam)
June 9th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

Abbey is from Minnesota?
Perky Bird
June 9th, 2008 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

“You’ll soon be a bird in a gilded cage.”

“Gilded?” Wow, the prisons must be pretty posh there in Spideyland.
Sharona
June 9th, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

I’m sorry, Josh, I’m afraid it’s you. Cherry’s expression never changes. Anything you read there is an example of the Kuleshov Effect.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
June 9th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

gnome de blog @ 43: “Mtignapathawpha” for the win.

Some days FBOFW is just like Faulkner, only more dialogue and more depressing.
Echo
June 9th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

Foob — Many have observed this, but I am so enraged that I feel the need to do so as well. Liz didn’t get out of the car. SHE DID NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR. Her grandfather is very ill and almost dead, and she can’t spare 5 minutes to get out of her goddamned car to see him.

I thought this strip was ending. I already get more than enough of my daily rage quotient without its continued existence.

I need some of Abby’s favorite brownies. Also her shirt, because it’s so fantabulously ugly.
Hank
June 9th, 2008 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

RE: Foob, Echo says, etc. I have to agree with all the other posters who have noticed this. The fact that Liz picks up her sister and can’t even go in for five minutes to visit with the grandfather she supposedly “loves” is one of the most damning things I’ve ever read on a comics page.

Not only does it portray Liz as a complete “rhymes with punt” but the fact that Lynne Johnston seems to think that this is appropriate behavior (given her usual lionization of Elizabeth) is yet another example of why she deserves all the snarking she gets here.
cheech wizard
June 9th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Ok, so all the chickens died of a virus and Elvira and Biff had to resort to raising pot. Here’s what I don’t understand:

Where did Elvira get the chicken she gave Abbey along with the pot brownies?

#1 – The freezer. We’ve never seen these people in 50 years of JP, so maybe Abbey just assumed her neighbor’s last name was “Tyson.”

#2 – The compost pile – which would explain why she fed Abbey the pot brownies, so she’d be too hungry and buzzed to notice the thing was crawling with maggots and tasted “mature.”

#3 – The freezer – hoping the virus would do in that nosy Abbey and her familly – so Biff and Elvira could buy HER farm instead.

#4 – That annoying chihuahua Biff wouldn’t get rid of.
Buck Ripsnort
June 9th, 2008 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

One of the few people who could take things more than “One Day At a Time” was MacKenzie Phillips; her secret was drugs, lots of drugs. And that’s how we’ll get through this wedding.

Just kidding kids– Just say “Aaaack!” to drugs. Why do you think they call it FOOB?
Big Sims
June 9th, 2008 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

Denna in OR
Good vibes being sent your way from me! Keep us posted.
Joe Btfsplk
June 9th, 2008 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

Phantom – Even with maximum allowance for perspective, Mystery Man’s hand, at the very least, with the bright red wrench-handle sticking out of it, has been in The Unknowing Commander’s direct line of sight for two episodes now. Taking off that opaque blindfold that he always wears might help. Or maybe Phantom has the eyes of a jungle frog, and can only see you if you move.

Fred Basset – Judging by his size, Yorky is a hamster.

Marmaduke – And the thing that they agrZZZZZZPOPFFTT!!! Ooww!! My innuendo circuit overloaded again! I hate when that happens! Today’s Mark Trail holds no meaning for me now!

Family Circus – She’s not trying to call God, you melonheaded freak. She’s calling 9-1-1, because you won’t let her get past you on the sidewalk until she lets you baptize her. Oh yes, I know your kind.
JP (not Judge Parker)
June 9th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

44: Good vibeage from my direction as well!

Re: girl-on-girl action in Cathy…..uggggggh. My only consolation is that I know it will never come to pass.
Harold
June 9th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

This is the most realistic FOOB in a long time. When my grandmother was dying, I dealt with relatives like Liz. “Oh, how is she? Yes, really must go and see her sometime, but, you know, things to do, busy busy busy…say, you see the game last night?” I hate Liz, but I also almost feel sorry for her. Being so soulless must leave you feeling a bit empty. April, on the other hand, is a saint. I hope she escapes these bastards soon.

Giant Bugeyed Chickadee is surprised at the sudden death of Giant Dangling Chickadee. Soon Giant Dangling Chickadee’s feet will lose their grip on the branch of the Enormous Pine, and his ass will crush Mark and Cherry in their Honeycomb Hideout.

Best wishes to you, Deena in OR.
Erica
June 9th, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

BALES of weed?

Now, I’m no agriculture expert, but when you bale things that are normally baled (like, say, straw, rather than inch-long flower buds) don’t little bits of it constantly fall out all over the place as the stuff is carted around? What kind of drug dealers let hundreds of dollars worth of product accumulate in the bed of the pickup?
Julie
June 9th, 2008 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

What on earth is going on with Abbey’s shirt? Did she run through a daycare center during finger painting time?
LTBF
June 9th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

How did April get to jim’s place? Did Ellie drop her off after going to the mall? So going shopping with Connie is a better way to kill time with Jim out of town than to visit your father?

How’s Gramps?

None of your business, Liz. If you are that damn interested, you could have parked your car and riden up the elevator and knocked on the door instead of making me wait in the lobby.
twinkytoo
June 9th, 2008 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

MT – looks like Mark Trail is about to give Cherry a “Jack Elrod” knuckle sandwich.
Smaug
June 9th, 2008 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

Sam! Is! Working! In! The! Study!

!!!!!
Poteet
June 10th, 2008 at 12:37 am [Reply]

# 6 Allie Cat — BWAHAHA!

# 44 Deena — Sympathy and best wishes are heading your way.
Norm
June 10th, 2008 at 12:52 am [Reply]

My prediction:

Liz and Granthony say I Do. Grandpa smiles, cries, then falls asleep in his chair. April attempts to wake him up and reveals Grandpa Chin-nuts has died peacefully in his sleep after seeing his granddaughter married.
The REAL Brian
June 10th, 2008 at 1:05 am [Reply]

I love Elizabeth couldn’t act less enthused to get married.
Louie Louie
June 10th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

#77 – Do you remember how enthused she was about the proposal? I think thats how enthused she’s going to be about all of it. She seemed more excited about Anthony when they snuck away from that wedding and kissed. But I think that had as much to do with getting away from that wedding, and the open bar, as anything else.

MT- I usually think that people try too hard to find innuendo in the comics. However, I have to say, these Mark Trails about Kelly Welly coming to Lost Forest and spending time with Cherry alone, and Mark’s worries about Kelly wanting Cherry to do things she’s uncomfortable doing have only lead my mind to one conclusion… There soon will be some Kelly on Cherry action being filmed in the forest.
kostia
June 10th, 2008 at 3:00 am [Reply]

It’s a good thing the farmer/smuggler storyline is in Judge Parker instead of Apartment 3G, or we’d still be wondering what the hell was growing in those poultry barns. Pot? Weed? Dope? Smack? Blow?
H0u53
June 10th, 2008 at 4:58 am [Reply]

Now, it’s been a while since I’ve been “dancing” with “Mary Jane” but I was under the impression that marijuana typically grows on plants, not bales. Also, and this little comment will reveal more about me then necessary, the average weight of a bale is roughly 500 lbs. even if you’re wholesaling it, the average cost of one pound of marijuana, at an average THC level (commonly referred to as “midis”) is in the area of 1000-1500 USD. Operating under the assumption that there are exactly two bales, that would mean that you’re making at least 1,000,000 dollars. WTF are they doing with this damn money?!
AMC
June 10th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

She could have gone inside instead.
And escaped the boredom of the wed.
Til April embarrass
Mommy’s dream heiress
Set a date before ol’ Jim is dead!
Edgy DC
June 10th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

I know Abbey is shedding her jacket because she’s embarassed to be wearing the same color as Sam (and not beacause it’s 110 in the shade), but I think it’s also because she’s been directed to use sex to underscore her lines. As in “get a load of these bales.”

This feeds my theory that the whole strip is poorly scripted porn with the payoff scenes edited out. What else would explain the strip opening with an overexcited narration box like

WHEN ABBEY
RETURNS TO
THE FARM,
SAM’S STILL
WORKING IN
THE STUDY!
Groovymarlin
June 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

Apparently, this summer, FOOB will be taking over the role of Funky Cancerbean. Isn’t it great (or possibly horrifying) when the understudy gets her big break?
jayjaybear
June 10th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

#47 Acme – There actually was a Far Side (which I can’t find online, mostly thanks to the umpty billion ripoff Argyle Sweater strips out there) where customs agents break in on Mark Trail and his ivory-and-endangered-animal-pelt-smuggling operation…
Paul1963
June 10th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Re: “girl-on-girl action in Cathy:” Thirty years on, Cathy Guisewite’s skill at rendering the human form, regardless of gender, has yet to reach the point where drawings of any of her characters engaging in any type of sexual activity would be even the slightest bit titillating to anyone.

Now, if Eduardo Barreto or Graham Nolan ghosted the strip for a week or two, that would make it interesting…
rewinn
June 10th, 2008 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Doesn’t the relative positioning of the chickadees suggest that the initial drawing didn’t feature little birdies, but was more relevant to the storyline?
Indiebass
June 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Elrod had a young guest over, who HAPPENED to leave LOGO TV on, but before he was able to change the channel became interested in the Wachowski Brothers 1996 film Bound, and that film became the inspiration for the current storyline. Kelly as Corky, and Cherry, married to the local strongman ~~Caesar~~ Mark Trail, they hatch a plan together to… wait, did I just say Mark Trail was a local strongman? This isn’t going to work.
Astroboy
June 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

I predict she’ll run off and join a lesbian commune south of the border, in that immoral city, Buffalo, having thrown Anthony’s ring into lake Ontario.

we have a nice..er…”gentlemen’s club” here in B-lo called Rick’s Tally Ho. She can work there and she won’t even have to get bottomless like they do at the Canadian Ballet.
Mark
June 10th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

It’s not the pending girl-on-girl action that’s so disturbing to Mark Trail, but that said girl-on-girl action may very well include animals… the ginormous animals of Lost Forest! And Mark Trail wouldn’t want his precious animals defiled by icky sex with Cherry.
sprocket23
June 10th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker’s storyline about pot being grown in a poultry shed is the same storyline in an Andy Griffith episode, except it was the more Mayberryesque moonshine in the chicken coop, not pot.

Now we know where the ideas come from… pot-induced late-night Nick at Nite viewing.
Harold
June 10th, 2008 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

jayjaybear @ 84, I could’nt find the strip, but I did find this:

Bethesda, Md.: One of my favorite Mark Trail comics is the spoof drawn by Gary Larson in The Far Side. What was your reaction to that panel?

Jack Elrod: I’ve got a copy of it framed on my wall. Anytime a great cartoonist takes notice of Mark Trail, I’m simply honored.

From this 2001 interview:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/liveonline/01/style/comics_092801.htm
smiley
June 11th, 2008 at 9:29 am [Reply]

The last panel of today’s FBOFW disturbs me…Did Elly actually throw A HUMAN HAND at John???
Crankenstank
June 11th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

Swami says an unplanned pregnancy has been planned for Liz by Lynn to underscore the complete lack of free will in the FOOBster universe.
Paul1963
June 11th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

#93–Impossible. That would require Liz to have sex with Anthony before marriage, and as has been pointed out here before, Lynn has apparently decided that Liz is still a virgin–despite the fact that she once lived with a boyfriend for a year.
Madsci
June 11th, 2008 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

Abbey: “You betcha, bales and bales of doobage. Hey, am I still covered with purple spiders? Oh sure ya.”

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