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The Eternal Commandant

Crock, 12/22/12

Commandant Vermin P. Crock (haha, no, really, that’s his name) has been doing his evil dictatorial thing since this strip debuted 37 years ago, so I shudder to think that he still considers himself to be in the early days of his career. Has he stumbled upon some Maghrebi immortality elixir out there in the desert, and now knows he will rule the land around his fort for centuries to come? It would explain how the strip keeps appearing months after its creators supposedly quit.

Spider-Man, 12/22/12

I think a particularly cruel thing to do to people reading a terribly written narrative is to remind them that good writers exist, and that some characters in the terribly written narrative have just decided to opt out and read those good writers while lounging around in bed.

Better Half, 12/22/12

I take it back, Harriet’s friend isn’t too sleepy for sex, she’s just heard too many stories like this and now any mention of sex causes overwhelming nausea.

154 responses to “The Eternal Commandant”

  1. lynn
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Possibly Harriet would like to change spouses with Edge City’s Abby.

  2. lynn
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Seriously, Len gives new meaning to “cruisin’ for a bruisin’” in today’s strip. No wonder he’s attending the office party alone in Sunday’s strip.

  3. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW: Cake designing? BRING back Dawn!

  4. Hibbleton
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Love is ..a pair of homunculi in a drop of semen.

    Marm: Demon dog’s master is Santa!? The crass commercialization of Xmas, the breaking and entering, the distribution of gifts inversely proportional to need, it all makes sense now

  5. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    No, no, Mrs Spider Man is reading a book named John Updike, not a book by John Updike. For all you know the book could be written by one of Kraven’s chimps.

  6. Cetacean Love Buzz
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Andy Capp: Tell me, Parson, how is it a man can go to your sermons every week for 55 years and still be the same drunken, wife-beating SOB he was when he first walked in? What is it you are preaching, exactly?

    Hi&Lo: Notice Hi and Lois have curtains they could close.

    Mary: “It’s never too late to be who you really are,” says Mary as she makes the universal sign for cunnilingus.

    Phantom: “And by ‘get to the bottom of this mystery right now’ I mean next Monday at the earliest, because I just used today’s two panels to talk about it.”

    Pluggers: Plugger-men are tastless, classless cretins. Plugger-women do nothing about it but complain impotently to themselves.

  7. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Is that the one and only two-dimensional tiara in the world, or has the chimpanzee squeezed it flat?

  8. mrvy
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Rex always wanted to be headliner? For what, a Pepsodent commercial back in the day? Or is that an impossibly bright white mouthguard? Either way, it’s disturbing.

  9. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @mrvy (#8): It’s the next stage in human dental evolution – the one-piece tooth-plate.

    Once everyone grows a pair…of them, I mean…we dentists will be right out of business.

  10. dyslexic dog
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#7):
    That’s a tiara? Not a wadded up dollar bill?

  11. The Ridger
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    “Headliner” in a stripper act. I think Rex may not have given this as much thought as it deserves.

  12. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Harriet Parker is looking a extra busty today. Is she auditioning for a guest spot on Judge Parker?

    Am I the only one who’s noticed they’ve used the same pointing finger/smiley face clip art in Mary Worth on many contiguous days this week?

  13. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    @dyslexic dog (#10): That was my first impression too,l but if it’s so the chimp has wadded the edges jagged.

    Or maybe it’s sold the tiara and is running back to Kraven with the money. In which case it’s got more smarts than the rest of the Spider Man cast, combined.

  14. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @wanders (#Y69): I’m having a hard time voting for the first category of The Worthies. I hope the rest of the categories aren’t so difficult.

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#6): Work “pill addicted lazy asses” in and you’ve got ‘em covered.

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#7): The monkey is squeezing it flat. When the cops show up, Moe’s trained to hide his booty in his booty.

    //His booty doesn’t appear to contain a prehensile rectum.

  15. Downpuppy Weatherwax
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Love is…straight up balling.

    & yest, Baka Gaijin, I’ve noticed that Mary Worth has looked incredibly weird this week. She’s gone from crazy eyes to deformed head to Ms. Mxtptlyk on greenies.

  16. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#14) on The Worthies: The rest of the categories were as difficult to vote in than the first. On the plus side, it was much more entertaining than the absentee ballot I filled out a few months ago.

    @Downpuppy Weatherwax (#15): Whew. I thought someone may have slipped me some greenies.

  17. Dan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    John Updike supposedly wrote angry letters to the Boston Globe when they briefly stopped running Spider-Man.

  18. lynn
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#9): I forgot you are a dentist! Did you enjoy the 9CL ‘smile’ arc? Did you get a chuckle out of today’s Beetle Bailey? I confess, I did.
    //has dental appt next Thursday

  19. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    By the way, how come nobody’s mentioned the fact that Mary Jane Parker’s obviously talking about her husband to whoever is in bed with her? The same person who presented her the John Updike book, I assume. Which means it’s probably a bit of obscure Victorian erotica, all full of underage girls being spanked by their male guardians.

  20. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#18): The 9CL smile story, especially Edda’s trying out her smile, made my testicls shrink up into my abdominal cavity (sorry for the graphics). Thorax was just the icing on the very John Dill-ish cake.

  21. Amateur
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    S-M: “Never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.” –Mystery Science Theater 3000, “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank”

    The same applies to books and comic strips.

  22. Holly Folly
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe you are either Spiderman.

  23. lynn
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#20): I was very happy to be told I do not look like Rule 63 Thorax. Anymore.
    //good dental care and a strict diet

  24. bats :[
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#16): Wow. Voting for the Worthies was unironically brutal — so many memories! I could usually narrow a category down to two, but then the final cut…at one point I had to stop and make myself a sandwich.

    Speaking of great stories and high drama…

  25. lynn
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Amateur (#21): That’s a great and timely blog that you have! May I remind you that the Mister Magoo Christmas Carol is on NBC tonight (for those of us who are hidebound Dickens literalists).

  26. TheDiva
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    BH: Yeesh, at least the Lockhorns are honest about their mutual loathing.

    SM: .oO(I can’t believe I’m thinking exposition!)

  27. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): I nearly bust a gut.

    As Josh said somewhere, in this part of the world, the Ghost Who Dresses Like A Spandex-Clad Git is big. At least was big when I was growing up back in the seventies. I can’t believe he’s still around!

  28. tb4000
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Luann: That’s right, unwrapping it is his favorite part, because what’s underneath is just foreign and scary to him.

  29. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#28): Oh yeah. I think I was consciously trying to block out Luann. Like Josh, who’s probably had it with the innuendo to the point where he can’t even force himself to snark at it anymore.

  30. Crankenstank
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    DIE CROCK! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! Younger petty tyrants and comic strip writers are ready to move in. DIE! DIE DIE DIE! PLEASE DIE!

  31. Crankenstank
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    If it’s any consolation for your these, Josh, MJ is actually reading “John Updike for Dummies”.

  32. Crankenstank
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    “Thesis”

  33. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Actually, Crock is merely an “Etermal” Commandant and not an Eternal one. So he’s got a fixed term.

    I hope.

  34. Horace Broon
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Crank: Didn’t the week start with Ed claiming Lillian didn’t read books any more because she had a “kindling”? I suppose the continuity snafu is worth it in order to get both those awesome jokes.

    Crock: I suppose I shouldn’t expect the artist to know or care how ramparts are supposed to work. It still disappoints me to see that legionnaire precariously balanced on the wall he’s supposed to be being shielded by.

    DT: Okay, the segue from remembering the lunar in-laws to the three wise men has left me suspecting the Traceys belong to some weird cult that thinks Jesus was an alien.

    MT: In real life, this story would end with him snarling “This isn’t fun anymore! I hope you’re happy, Mary, you’ve ruined cake decoration for me forever!” That would be a lot more entertaining than what we’re going to get.

    Phantom: Faffing about to avoid a revelation because you want to do it next week: irritating. Making “But what is this revelation?” your end-of-week cliffhanger: more irritating. Having your lead declare he’ll be getting to this “right now”: AARGH!

    RMMD: Rex is going to be bitterly disappointed when he finds out “being a headliner” isn’t a gay sex term.

  35. TheDiva
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    9CL: And now we’re cribbing sex scenes from Showgirls.

    C’shaft: What better way to show your mother you love her than with the hot new book from four years ago that she’s probably read already?

    FW: I would think caroling is one of those things that you have to be in a good mood already to enjoy, and if you’re not in a good mood it becomes torturous. Of course nobody in Funkytown is ever in a good mood, so now is as good a time as any, I guess.

    Luann: “Is it a Ninja Turtle? I love Ninja Turtles! I bet it’s a Ninja Turtle, isn’t it Toni?”
    *sigh* “Yes, Brad, it’s a Ninja Turtle.”
    “Yippee!”

    MW: “Why, it took me years to find my true calling as a busybody know-it-all!”

  36. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#6): Andy Capp: Tell me, Parson, how is it a man can go to your sermons every week for 55 years and still be the same drunken, wife-beating SOB he was when he first walked in?

    Charity, sir. First, one can be certain that Mr. Capp is a notorious Sabbath breaker, and misses attendance more often than not. Second, imagine how much worse his behavior would have been had he NOT heard some of the parson’s sermons.

  37. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    MW-That’s it Dill also realize your ambition of being a singer in a drag club.

    MW 2-”It’s never too late to be who you really are.” Words of wisdom from the meddling bitch that is Mary Worth.

    RMMD-In today’s last panel we replaced Rex Morgan with a creepy ventriloquist dummy.

    RMMD 2-”I always wanted to be a headliner in a drag club.”

  38. Atheist amongst the flock
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#35): MW: I am a busybody know-it-all! I can’t believe it took me so long to learn of your passion. I have to step up my game.

  39. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I’m in Vegas. I should be trolling the strip for prostitutes to ‘accidentally’ kill.”

  40. lorne
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe Spider-Man is webswinging unnoticed through a bunch of three-storie buildings in broad daylight.

  41. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Ballard St.: I know my large, hairy gay friends will like this one.

    Crank: I’m sure Lillian is fascinated by “violence against women, the incompetence and cowardice of investigative journalists, the moral bankruptcy of big capital and the virulent strain of Nazism still festering away … in Swedish society.” (Wiki)

    // Besides, she’s already read all the Miss Marples.

  42. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MW-Mary Worth is right. I’m going to quit my job as a librarian and follow my dream of having a paper route.

  43. John C Fremont
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#37): Since we’ve already broken out the MST3K references for today, I wonder how third panel Rex feels about ham.

  44. Anonymous
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Crock “Wow, it also says here that the men don’t like marching exercises at dawn, and that they rate their rations as ‘sub par’. We’d better snap into shape, or we’re likely to lose our 4-star rating!”

    ASM “I wonder where Peter is. Hmm…it’s still a little early, which means he’s probably not been knocked unconscious yet, so he’s probably just making an ass of himself in a public place….”

    B 1/2 “A belch while we’re hugging means he’s hungry, and a two farts while we’re fucking means he’s sleepy.”

  45. pugfuggly
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#44):

    crud, that was me.

  46. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#6) @Nehemiah Scudder (#36): So you expect sermons to change hearts and behavior?

    Bless your hearts.

  47. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    H&L: Aren’t you supposed to turn on your xmas lights at night? And turn them off during the day? And have the Flagstons forgotten how to operate curtains?

    Mutt & Jeff: Huh? Can someone explain this? Please? I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

  48. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Wow! They have a bootleg of the SWHS? Cool.

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Frazz: d’awwwwww.

    HotC: d’awwwwww^2

    Zits: liar, liar. . .

    SFx: fourth panel, the tree falls over, leaving the branch and the cat safe in mid-air.

    Retail: feeling the holiday spirit.

  50. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . kissing someWHERE special under the mistletoe.

  51. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#46): @Cetacean Love Buzz (#6) @Nehemiah Scudder (#36): So you expect sermons to change hearts and behavior?

    I can’t speak for Cetacean, but all I’m saying is you can’t prove they DON’T.

    // I remember the old family Christmas gatherings, where Grampa would read us all Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God before we were allowed to eat.

  52. MacCrocodile
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Wait, Crock had creators? I had assumed it was some kind of syndicated inkblot test. Suddenly I don’t feel so bad about what I was led to believe was lurking deep within my psyche, knowing now that was done deliberately.

  53. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-They’re tired of airplanes mistaking their neighborhood for the airport runway.

  54. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#11):
    I hope Rex can pole dance. I know he’s a whiz with a fishing pole, and that other pole he saves for Niki.

  55. Roto13
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Argh, Mary Worth is actually annoying me. “I’d probably be the oldest contestant if I get in!” IT’S A CAKE DECORATING CONTEST, NOT OLYMPIC GYMNASTICS!

  56. UncleJeff
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Sexy Rexy: A chance to be a headliner! Rex is trying to remember if he stowed his “banana hammock” in his luggage.
    Trail: Two men with facial hair! It looks we’re getting punchin’ for Xmas!

  57. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Better Half-But what does it mean when he holds back a fart while you are going down on him?

    Spiderman-I can’t believe that we are reading a story about you following a chimp who just robbed a museum.

    Crock-Suicide?

  58. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Roto13 (#55):

    Now now. In the Mary Worth world cake decorators are buxom young women in their twenties which means we’ll be seeing a lot of women who look like Dawn.

  59. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: Well, I can’t believe it’s not butter, considering how greasy my mind feels after reading this strip.

    Apt. 3-G: This whole storyline would be a lot more interesting if we replaced Aunt Cathy with Cathy: “Think long and hard, Mr. Cooper. Your career is in the balance. Aack!”

    Arlo and Janis: Vulture that I am, yesterday I stopped by a jewelry store that’s going out of business to see if I could find anything for Mrs Pastor’s Christmas present. I did, and it’s nice. Anyway, I said to the sales clerk “I’ll bet you’re seeing a lot of people like me in the store these days.” She smiled and responded, “Tomorrow and Monday, it’ll be all men who have run out of ideas.”

    Beetle Bailey: That’s not a sympathy card, Sarge. The Tooth Fairy is coming back for that last one – ready or not.

    9 Chickweed Lane: When you’ve beat a dead horse into the ground, there’s only one thing to do: take away the ground so you can keep flogging.

    If you don’t feel the same way about Santa that <ahem> certain people feel about clowns, check out today’s Cyanide and Happiness.

    Luann: So a not-cute little girl plops down in the backseat of a car and says, “What is this, ’9 Chickweed Lane’?”

    Mark Trail: “Sí, compadre – I’d hate to match my AR-15 with extended clip against an old man, a mujer, an editor and Mark Trail’s mighty facial-hair-punching fists of justice!”

    Mary Worth: “Soon, the glory of being the best cake baker in all of downtown Santa Royale will be mine, and ALL WILL TREMBLE BEFORE ME.”

    Nancy gives me the opportunity to repeat something I said last night in thinking about Sandy Hook: Christmas isn’t about schmaltz like “Jesus’ birthday” or “God’s greatest gift to us.” It’s about remembering someone who dared to come into the world in peace and depart the same way, who tried to change the world with peace, not a gun, and about reminding ourselves that it sure would be nice if that someone would come back and try it again. I guess Josh isn’t the only one who gets something out of crummy legacy strips.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Rex, you do understand that “headliner” is not equivalent to “Best Cake Decorator in All of Downtown Santa Royale,” right?

    Sinfest has had the best spin on the end-of-the-world trope, and now we’re gearing up for another epic battle between Death and Father Time. Getcher popcorn!

  60. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#53):
    You want Xmas lights, Lois? Here’s some Xmas lights!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFjI7gT1FvI

  61. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#51): I’ll bet that changed you – perhaps not in the way Grandpa intended.

  62. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#34):
    MT: In real life, this story would end with him snarling “This isn’t fun anymore! I hope you’re happy, Mary, you’ve ruined cake decoration for me forever!” That would be a lot more entertaining than what we’re going to get.

    I LOVE your Mark Trail/Mary Worth mashup! What happens next? Does Mr. Dill keep the $2 million? Will Otto take up cake decorating in spite of his shark wounds?

  63. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#1):

    Len should trade spouses with…anybody, practically. And he should also trade those two hellspawn brats of his in the deal. He’s practically the only even semi-likeable regular character in that strip. In all of comicdom, perhaps only Cayla suffers more, but she had the opportunity to walk out of that one and blew it. For all we know, maybe Abby wasn’t ALWAYS so neurotic, whereas Les was always a smirking douchebag. And at least the two kids in that bargain aren’t nearly as insufferable. So Len wins this dubious distinction based on the existence of Colin and Carly alone.

    Did I mention how much I hate those little brats? Did I? Grrrr….

  64. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#44) on The Better Half: Oh ha ha HA!

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#48): Not a bootleg. It’s the same VHS recorded in the 70′s off the TV.

    @Roto13 (#55): It could mean the original run of this strip had a different “hobby:” greased pole dancing.

    @Liam (#57) on The Better Half: True love.

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#59) on Cyanide and Happiness: I can see your point. Coca-Cola ain’t gonna use that punim on it’s national advertising.

  65. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    brainmush for bb,u.

    corgsqui.

    Avatar/Naruto x-over win.

    everything is better with Westies.

    WANT!!!

    more corgsqui.

  66. Shrug, Preaching to the Choir
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Cetacean Love Buzz (#6):

    “Andy Capp: Tell me, Parson, how is it a man can go to your sermons every week for 55 years and still be the same drunken, wife-beating SOB he was when he first walked in? What is it you are preaching, exactly?”

    And our text today is from the SECOND BOOK OF EXODUS (the suppressed “Good Parts” version), specifically the Eleventh Commandment: “But if thou dost, see that thou shalt not get caught.”

    //// Verily.

  67. J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Ha ha, look at that window in the first panel of Crock. It contains all the hallmarks of the strip’s incredibly bad art: insane, impossible perspective mixed with a deep dedication to the ignorance of the architecture of forts, and to cap it all off, a half-assed venetian blind at the top for no reason and with no detail.

    I truly cannot understand why Crock has lasted so long. There are so many other strips that deserve its place.

  68. This Guy
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    JP: Did any of the family members spontaneously combust or choke on someone else’s vomit?

    Marvin: The normally pre-verbal child can speak in sentences but can’t sigh aloud. Got it.

    SF: If your Christmas celebration is at the point where watching the Star Wars Holiday Special would be a step up, you’ve got problems.

    @TheDiva (#35): [9CL] Showgirls? Did everybody get AIDS and shit?

  69. Shrug, Talking Back to a Python
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#42):

    “If I were not in the CID, something else I’d like to be!
    If I were not in the CID, a window cleaner me!”

    // (You get your rub-a-dub, don’t you?)

  70. Shrug, Preaching to the Back-Up Choir
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Preaching to the Choir (#66):

    And next week our text will be on the Twelfth Commandment, the one that says “Thou shalt not take Me seriously; I was only kidding about those first ten.”

    /// Man, a mere forty years of wandering in the wilderness and some tribes lose all sense of proportion. I can’t believe they fell for those!

  71. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    @J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective (#67): Why limit the bad artwork complaint to Crock? I could say the same about Apartment 3-G or Mary Worth, except for that fort thing. Except for Mary Worth when they illustrate the hospital. That looks like a fort.

  72. Will
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Or you could shut your drapes.
    Luann: If by “mushy” you mean utterly repellant, then yes.
    PBS: Claude Cooper from Cleveland knows about clappers, Pig, go ask him.

  73. Damien
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    When in bed, Jane thinks of Kraven before she thinks of Peter. Even in the mind of those who love him he’ll always be a secondary character.

  74. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    MT-When did the Mountain Man join the Island People? Did he get tired of living in caves and decided to live some place sunny?

    MT 2-Cherry has pancakes waiting for you.

    MT 3-”Mark, it is time to end your vacation on this lovely tropical island and to return to Cherry who you will continue to avoid loving and Rusty who you will continue to avoid taking fishing.”

  75. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#60):

    Impressive.

  76. Nehemiah Scudder
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Crock: Isn’t it interesting, though, that the Foreign Legion surveys its troops with questions about how much they despise their commanding officer?

    “On a scale of one to ten…”

  77. pugfuggly
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    A3G “Which do I choose? The bitchy publicist who’ll probably decide to be a firefighter tomorrow, or the grouchy one who’s likely to die from a mild flu? IF ONLY THERE WAS ANOTHER PUBLICIST IN NEW YORK WHO WAS WILLING TO TAKE ON THE THE ACTOR STARRING IN THE NEXT JAMES BOND FILM!!!”

    MT Did I miss the part where Mark crash-landed on the Planet of the Apes?

    MW Yeah, you know what they say: cake design is a young man’s game. Live hard and die young with an icing gun by your side…

  78. Joshua
    December 22nd, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dan (#17): Updike did, indeed, write to the Boston Globe in support of the Spider-Man comic strip. http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/outofline/2009/01/updike_aspiring_cartoonist_1.html

  79. Poteet
    December 22nd, 2012 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#78): Thank you. *head asplodes*

  80. MySpoonIsTooBig
    December 22nd, 2012 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#71): A3G is kinda charmingly bad in my opinion, whereas Crock just assaults the eyes with terrible.

  81. Uncle Lumpy
    December 22nd, 2012 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#59):

    “Tomorrow and Monday, it’ll be all men who have run out of ideas.”

    With customer service like that, it’s a mystery why they went out of business.

  82. sully
    December 22nd, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    SPIDER-LAME
    -and I can’t believe I’m reading this pathetic excuse for a comic strip, when I could be doing something more exciting, like trimming my nose hairs.

  83. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Zits-That raging case of syphilis you caught says otherwise.

  84. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#77):
    Ah, we all know how this may PAN out – haha
    Mr. Dill wins the damn contest, he gives all the credit to Mary, asks her to marry him, she refuses, he goes into a funk, something something.
    Or, everyone wants his cakes, he’s overwhelmed with orders, turns to drinking heavily to handle the stress, and accidentally drives off a cliff.
    Where is Dr. Jeff?

  85. Inkwell
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    I guess Crock must just have an enormous backlog. Or is it rerunning already? I can’t really read the signature so I don’t know who drew this one.

  86. Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#74):

    ”Mark, it is time to end your vacation on this lovely tropical island and to return to Cherry who you will continue to avoid loving and Rusty who you will continue to avoid taking fishing.”

    But Mark has learned a few things from Otto. This time he just may take Rusty fishing. But he won’t be bringing him back.

  87. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    S-M: “Let’s see, I call myself a crimefighter so it seems like there’s something else I should be doing. For the life of me I can’t think of what it would be.”

    Curtis: Oh, Greg and Diane think they’re being clever, but now their son has transformed into Miss Piggy.

    Ziggy: Ziggy’s new hobby might have to wait until after he gets out of that featureless one room prison.

    C-Shaft: Does Lillian have a previously undiscussed penchant for Sweden, computer hacking, and/or revenge rape? Her trips to Ikea must be eventful.

    RMMD: Oh dear God, Rex is in a house full of strippers and he wants to be headliner. Keep him away from the hi-fi and be ready to tackle him if he starts to unbutton anything.

    GA: Boog saved the bullies’ lives, and now he’s going to make them puke. Boy’s got to get some kind of vengeance.

    BB: Kinda sucks that all but one of his baby teeth fell out and none of his adult teeth grew in, but at least the Tooth Fairy gave her condolences forty years later.

    DT: “We’re going to tie this wacky plotline into the holidays if it kills us, and that’s a very real possibility.”

    DtM: This Santa may be just that gullible, but most of us know that a candy cane is a candy cane.

    Luann: Won’t Brad be surprised when he unwraps the “gift” and sees that it’s still got half a dozen Dirk tattoos on it.

    Marvin: “Get a new line, kid.”
    “Don’t blame me. I didn’t write this crap.” (pause) “Or this one.”

    Lockhorns: They’re both smiling at the same time, so yeah, planets must be lined up in some nutty way.

    A3G: Due to circumstances beyond our control, Greg Cooper will be played in the second panel by his ten year old nephew.

  88. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-Peter is just swinging through Vegas. He’s gotten tired of you wants to try new people.

  89. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#83): Oh no, Jeremy hasn’t picked up any STDs. That’s not to say that Sarah hasn’t gotten him pregnant, though.

  90. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#59): You’ve nailed it as far as what this story is missing: People shouting while pointing their arms directly at the sky.

  91. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#89):
    Maybe Jeremy and his buddies had a rip-roaring time lighting each other’s farts on fire. I wouldn’t put it past them.

  92. popamatic
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Well, they seem to have gotten themselves into quite a pickle. The wedding is going to be in Acapulco for April’s father sake. But Randy’s father and step-mom want to attend the wedding, too! Hmmm, what to do!? They know where the wedding will be held. They know the date. They are exceedingly wealthy and can buy things if needed. If only there were some way to solve this conundrum! Think…think…think. How, oh how, can several people gather in one place at the same time? Help me, Odin!

  93. Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    A3J Huh. An even worse publicist than Margo. The women in A3G are soooo competitive!

    MT In fact, “O++o” is a double-crosser.

    MW “It’s never too late to be who you really are.”
    Marshal Pétain, It Was Something in the Water, 1950

  94. Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#87):

    Luann: Won’t Brad be surprised when he unwraps the “gift” and sees that it’s still got half a dozen Dirk tattoos on it.

    And a couple of bruises, delivered with a “blunt object.”

  95. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    JP-April’s mother died in a car accident? Was she rejected by the person she was stalking too?

  96. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Luann-Since this is “Luann” we’ll be treated to several weeks of this guy talking about how he is going to unwrap the present.

  97. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    A post from HAAH, about cake.
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

    (Allie, if you read this blog, sending best wishes to you. I hope you are feeling better about everything, especially yourself! You’ve made many people laugh with your posts and humor and your words have helped me laugh and feel some light through some pretty bleak moments, esp. summer 2011.
    Take good care of you – you deserve it. : ) Peace and Happy Holidays!)

  98. Droopy Says
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#87): Boog won’t make the bullies puke. He’s going to give them diabetes. It’s a form of revenge that makes you miserable in many ways and lasts forever, like anything else in Gasoline Alley.

  99. Droopy Says
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#96): And then getting a papercut on his forehead.

  100. Droopy Says
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @lorne (#40): Spiderman and Moe aren’t in broad daylight. It’s supposed to be night, but it’s to much effort to shade in the sky and add a crescent moon, much less show radiating light-lines around signs and street lamps as well as the crowds who throng the Vegas sidewalks at night. After all, nobody goes to Vegas for the night-life of casinos and shows, eh, Kraven?

  101. Mibbitmaker
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    FW: No, they weren’t called the “Humbugs” when they were teens — that’s a name that’d be accurate for their adult lives!

    RMMD: Hold on! That — that’s not Rex! The REAL Rex Morgan wouldn’t want the bother! It’s an IMPOSTER! GET HIM…!

  102. Droopy Says
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Spiderdick: By the way, why does MJ look off to her right, as though she’s speaking to someone? And how is it that Spiderdick is clutching that web-line in its middle, with a long loose end flailing about as though he is not swinging from a line? Does his webshooter fire in both directions, for some reason that makes no sense? I can’t even glance at this strip without finding new things to get baffled by.

  103. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#97): I guarantee that situation will never ever happen if one of Mr. Dill’s cake is involved. The only obsession anyone will have around one of his creations is the extreme desire to get as far from that monstrosity as possible.

  104. Frank Lee Meidere
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#97): Seconded. Allie is brilliant and I miss her illustrated stories. She’s made me laugh harder than just about any humour writer around.

  105. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos (#93): Reminds me of a Catholic priest I heard about who could lead worship in both the Eastern and Western liturgy. He liked to describe himself as “bi-ritual.”

  106. Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#105):

    He liked to describe himself as “bi-ritual.”

    So, you’re saying his thurible swings both ways?

  107. Daniel
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Crock Was that a Borges reference, Mr. Fruhlinger?

  108. Doctor Handsome
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    In fairness to Peter, chasing a monkey is probably way more superheroic than anything MJ could reasonably assume he’d be doing.

  109. Doctor Handsome
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Buck up, Crock. Women and children hate you too, just with slightly less intensity.

  110. Red Greenback
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    M.J. wonders about stuff.

  111. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    December 22nd, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos (#106): That’s *exactly* what that means.

  112. Alison
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: It occurred to me today that all Mary Worth ever does is tell other people to go out and live their dreams. But she never goes out and lives a dream of her own. She just hangs around Charterstone eating salmon squares and being bossy. Why is that? Is she too scared to try to live her own dream, so she lives vivaciously through other people? Or is she in fact so boring that she has never had a dream of her own?

    “Spider-Man”: One picture of a monkey in an Ikea becomes an Internet sensation, yet no one bothers to take a picture of a chimp running around with a tiara. Is it because this chimp is not wearing an adorable little coat? Also, that flattened, crinkled object in the chimp’s hand doesn’t look anything like a tiara, unless it’s a tiara that got run over by a car.

  113. Calico
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, Last of the Mudgitos (#106):
    Now now, that makes me very incensed! ; D

  114. Artist formerly known as Ben
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#102):

    By the way, why does MJ look off to her right, as though she’s speaking to someone?

    Almost as if somebody else were in bed with her, right? Let’s just say that while Robbie Robertson is running the Bugle in Jameson’s absence, he’s still got some free time.

  115. Écureuil Écumant
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Hi & Lois: Absolutely. Thirsty should turn on his outdoor Christmas lights only in the daytime.

  116. Shrug, Thinking Mash-Up Smashup
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#77):

    “The bitchy publicist who’ll probably decide to be a firefighter. . .”

    Margo was all set for a lateral move from publicist to firefighter, when she realized what she had really always wanted to be was a cake designer.

    It’s a tough, competitive business, and there’s never room for more than one new cake designing super star, but Margo says it’s going to be her. And after all, who in the comics world is tough enough to stand against her?

  117. bats :[
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @lynn (#25): YESH! I was able to replace my VHS copy with a DVD, so I’ve already watched it, but it is tres cool to see it on network TV again.

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#27): thank you for your gut. :) Did you ever see the film version with Billy Zane? Just wondering how good/bad it was.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#41): re Ballard Street: I thought of Dingo (who’s probably wrecking the halls and embarrassing huge masses of heavenly host even as I type).

  118. Ukulele Ike
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#114): Just out of curiosity….did Robbie Robertson become the editor of the Daily Bugle before or after the 1968 release of Music from Big Pink?

  119. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#112):

    Hanging around Charterstone, eating salmon squares, and being bossy is her dream. It is also our nightmare.

  120. J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective
    December 22nd, 2012 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#71): In all seriousness, I’d say it’s because even though some strips have less than stellar art, at least Mary Worth and Gil Thorp and that ilk put effort into it. They try to draw human emotion and fail, sure; but they try. When you look at Crock you can literally hear the sound of the artist not giving a damn.

  121. La Cieca
    December 22nd, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Say what you will about Crock, but they timed their John Boehner takedown exactly right.

  122. Mike
    December 22nd, 2012 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    PC and Pixel: OK, I would totally see Bad Movie. Is it possible that this comic is meant not so much to get a laugh as to establish intellectual property, in a bid to force Friedberg and Seltzer or Wayans to pay Tak Bui when they decide they want the title?

  123. pugfuggly
    December 22nd, 2012 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#84):

    Hey, if Mr Dill is going to ‘Aldo’ himself, he’ll get whacked out on red food colouring and off himself with an icing gun.

    Mary will be sad for awhile, recite a quote from Wilfrid Brimley, then take a few moments to reflect on the irony that Mr ‘Dill’ preferred sweets over potato salad.

    @Shrug, Thinking Mash-Up Smashup (#116):

    Being on opposite coasts, Mr Dill and Margo won’t meet up until Nationals a few months after the initial competition. Or in real time, 2043.

  124. Anonymous
    December 22nd, 2012 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#112):

    Or is she in fact so boring that she has never had a dream of her own?

    BINGO!

  125. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    Just reposting something from the extreme end of yesterday’s pre-COTW thread, which nobody read, because I’m a narcissistic bastard:

    LIFE IS BRUTAL

    Salmon squares and green glop cake
    La La La La La
    Mary’s helping John Dill bake
    La La La La La
    Rivals crumble before their attack
    La La La La La
    For Mary’s got old John’s back
    La La La La La.
    The Big Prize a vacation cruise
    La La La La La
    Cake mix aroma on the breeze
    La La La La La
    Old John’s cakes are hot and hip
    La La La La La
    Heavy enough to sink the ship
    La La La La La
    Disaster. John loses his bald spot
    La La La La La
    Mary meddling more has got
    La La La La La.
    John meets a widow missing a leg
    La La La La La
    Who ends up wearing a long hard
    peg
    La La La La La
    Said peg is made of leftover cake
    La La La La La
    John and widow jiggle’n’shake
    La La La La La.
    Mary needs a new victim too
    La La La La La
    And she’s looking right at you
    La La La La La.

    Good moaning all. Got to rise and whine.

  126. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    bats:[ (Comment No. 117)

    No. I was too Zaned out to watch that.

  127. Shem
    December 22nd, 2012 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#5):

    John Updike, the thrilling story of a tourist in Amsterdam desperately searching for a public bathroom.

  128. Uncle Lumpy
    December 22nd, 2012 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#117):

    I didn’t mind the Billy Zane Phantom — good old-school B-movie fun (also: Catherine Zeta-Jones!). Just stay away from the failed TV pilot, which was a hot mess.

  129. Liam
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Oh, Moose. Reggies is conning you. It’s buy the left shoe and get the right one free.

    A3G-”She’s right about that. Now how do I get long and hard.”

    FC-Mommy was hoping that Daddy was going to sell one of the kids off. Maybe next year.

    Gil Thorp-That’s alright Coach Kaz is feeling it. In fact I’m not sure what the coach is feeling in that last panel. What the heck is that flesh colored thing between him and that blonde player?

    Love Is-”2 Broke Girls” did a great hung mistletoe joke that I would only be repeating.

    Marvin-”Is the comic strip about the kid who constantly poops over yet?” “No,” responded the dead eyed adults who are forced to endure this hellish excuse for an existence for the next thirty years.

    Broom Hilda-Scrooge would not be proud because you spent money to buy the moths.

  130. bats :[
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#117): grrrr….giant hairy lumps of coal in all the NBC execs stockings…Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol was cut to shreds for the all-mighty advertising dollar. Asshats. I hope your ratings (continue to) tank, peacock-brains!

  131. Sgt. Stoned
    December 22nd, 2012 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    MW: Yeah, Dill, you’ll be the oldest contestant ‘cuz all the cool kids are into cake decorating.

    Archie: Does that mean that the shoes are on sale for half price? Maybe Moose isn’t so dumb after all.

    S-M: I believe it, Spidey. I believe it.

  132. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    A corgi for the Didactic Duo.

  133. Peanut Gallery
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): Pieces cut out, or just a lot of commercial interruptions, or both? I recorded it but haven’t watched it yet.

  134. Baka Gaijin
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#112): “…she lives vivaciously through other people?” I think you mean “vicariously.” Mary Worth does nothing vivaciously. I take that back. She was pretty vivacious cutting off the heads of those roses à la Morticia Addams before she got saddled with a trick beagle.

    @bats :[ (#117) on Dingo: They’ve learned not to serve turkey legs in heaven, at least when Dingo’s invited to dinner.

    @J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective (#120): I see your point. Don’t point like Mary Worth; people might use your finger for a ring toss spike.

    @bats :[ (#130): And now you know why I don’t watch American programming on television. Too many interruptions with too little content between.

  135. Uncle Lumpy
    December 22nd, 2012 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#134):

    Mary Worth lives voraciously through other people.

  136. bats :[
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#133): commercial cuts where there weren’t cuts (the original had “acts,” with the curtain rising — remember that this was a play that Mr. Magoo was appearing in?). All the references to him getting to the theater in time, the curtain rising, the final cast bows, are all taken out. I didn’t watch it all, and I suspect that there were a few internal cuts as well…some of it just didn’t “flow” right, and I’d watch the DVD only a couple of weeks ago. It was just awful.
    If you like this (I loved it growing up and watched it every Christmas…the Ghost of Christmas Future scared the bejesus out of me!), you might want to try finding a DVD of it, most likely “bundled” with other Christmas television specials. Mine has Christmas Carol and the stop-action Little Drummer Boy (the one that has his lamb run over by a Roman centurion) — it could only be better if “The Year Without a Santa Claus” were included (featuring Heat Miser and Snow Miser).

  137. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    In Charterstone, Mary lives you.

  138. Let me tell you about hamsteak
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    check tomorrow’s slylock fox.

  139. Poteet
    December 22nd, 2012 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): @bats :[ (#136): Arrrrrrrgh. Thanks for the report. That’s what I was afraid of. My sibs and I really loved the Magoo version of CC when we were kids, and we could probably still do a decent rendition of the La La No Good song, which we thought was especially great. And of course the Magoo show has more of the original Dickens dialogue than certain bad movie versions. I did a lot of cussing the first time I saw a network shred the Mister Magoo CC, and now I add my bad wishes for NBC to yours.

  140. Droopy Says
    December 23rd, 2012 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Kraven has a smirk worthy of Batiuk, but no matter what happens on stage, the museum is going to notice the real tiara was stolen. And if it’s a nutty bait-and-switch thing to have the chimp and monkey return to the museum, to put the fake in the real one’s place, they’ll still notice.

    Creepy Les: There’s nothing like alcoholism and humiliation to cheer up the guests at your soul-deadening party.

    Family Circus: How much was eighty-seven cents worth the first time this one ran?

    Pluggers: Pluggers have learned to enjoy their visits to the House of Pain.

  141. K. Ivan Ruppert
    December 23rd, 2012 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    “Vermin P Crock” is kinda on the nose, I agree. How much you want to bet the “P” stands for “Urine”

  142. Comcis Fan
    December 23rd, 2012 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Spiderman: I guess it would have been too easy to have her reading “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

  143. Dale
    December 23rd, 2012 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail was so amused by saying ass in public that he got hinny wrong.

  144. Chyron HR
    December 23rd, 2012 at 6:18 am [Reply]

    Is Today’s Terrific Art in Slylock Fox supposed to be one of those Homesmuckers things? I think maybe the world DID end on Friday.

  145. Mr. O'Malley
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    @Dale (#143): Yes, it should be hinny. Also called a jennet. No discussion of the interesting question of chromosomes, but I guess there might not be enough space.

    Interestingly, the Pope just came out with a pronouncement a few days ago stating that according to the Bible there was no donkey at the Nativity. Or at least it doesn’t mention it. Despite how people always want to put one in there.

    “Hinny” is also a term of endearment in northern England, and a “singing hinny” is a sausage (because they whistle when you cook them). As in the song

    Can she make a tatie stew, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
    Can she make a tatie stew, my Billy Boy?
    She can make a tatie stew, aye, and singing hinnies too …

  146. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): bats:[ you are truly amazing!

  147. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): Yeah, that was pretty bad. Still, not having Magoo on video, it was nice to see PARTS of it again. Wish I knew how to do it, I would love to have the animated kid making the universal symbol of ‘meshuggah’ as my profile pic.

  148. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#133): They cut the intro, which was ok, but also went to commercial breaks in the middle of songs…

  149. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#140): “How much was eighty-seven cents worth the first time this one ran?” – well, to take the ferry was only a nickle…

  150. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#145): Aaack! Did the Pope say it ex cathedra? I have to get home and take the donkey figurine out of my creche immediately! (Are you *that* Mr. O’Malley? If so, can’t you talk to your Boss about this?)

  151. Notebooked
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    @dyslexic dog (#10): I thought it was a miniature accordion.

  152. lynn
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Sunday comics (I am at work and hoping to be on my way home before Josh puts his Sunday post up): Boy, I’ll bet Scott Adams is proud of himself for sneaking Whizzing Wally into the background of his strip today. (He writes quite a bit about what gets censored by his syndicate and what doesn’t.)

  153. Vince M
    December 23rd, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @lynn (#148): Well, tv is just a commercial delivery device; stop the song, gotta move the product. I was amused that one of the ads was one of those ‘quick cash for your car title’ places – the Scrooge and Marley of our time!

  154. Twinkles the Elf
    December 23rd, 2012 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    If the artist had actually bothered to google pictures of chimps, which is something any of us can do at the touch of a button in this modern age, s/he would notice that the back legs are WAY too long here. This alleged chimp could get a job at Radio City Music Hall doing the high kick (assuming it shaved its legs and, you know, had a boob job and a head transplant and bought a little costume). WHERE, I ask you, is the verisimilitude???

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