Metapost: COTW! COTW! COTW! Josh is going on vacation again COTW! COTW! COTW!
Oh, it’s true, it’s true *sob*. We are going to Italy for two weeks! I will be helped along by a couple of gifts from faithful readers: A Family Circus-themed Learning Italian video from faithful reader Bats :[, and, arriving by mail just yesterday, an Italian-language Andy Capp collection from faithful reader Mademoiselle Hepzibah (aka Emily Gordon of Emdashes fame). Now I’ll know how to be be an annoying little melonhead and a drunken working-class British lout in Italian! Anyway, it’s all very exciting and then I promise no more vacations until Christmas. (Note: promise may not apply to occasional long weekends.)
Anyway, the inimitable Uncle Lumpy will be filling in until my return July 1st-ish, but I wanted to offer you a gift before I left in the form of an EXTREMELY GREAT NEW COMIC you should be checking out online. The comic does not seem to have an actual name, but it is by Kate Beaton and it is extremely hilarious. You can check out her comics page or her LiveJournal, the latter of which has an RSS feed but also some non-comics stuff. Many people have sent me a link to one of her latest, which is about the meeting between Garfield the cat and President James Garfield that we’ve all dreamed of (naturally, it ends in blood). She does a lot of history comics that you’ll like if you’re a history nerd like me, including this one about the sack of Lindisfarne monastery or this one about James Monroe’s sexy butt. She is from the Canadian Maritimes, and also does cartoons about that.
And now, to the comment of the week, which will also be the comment of the next several weeks, since UL can not bring himself to stand in judgement above you all:
“I’m disappointed in Dick Tracy, which missed an opportunity to educate its young readers. Surely there’s some sort of grammatical exercise that can be worked out of the three-panel dialogue sequence: ‘I’m beginning to smell a rat!’ ‘I smell a rat!’ and then ideally, ‘I’m finished smelling the rat!’ Of course, the plan fails under the consideration that there are no young people anywhere reading Dick Tracy.” –shegotzen
And the runners-up!
“I was going to rip on Mommy’s housekeeping skills, but to be fair, Jeffy may have dropped the lollipop on the men’s room floor at the downtown bus station where his parents abandoned him.” –SpiffBereft
“Because Dr. Jeff only can read what Moy and Giella let him see based on the panel borders, he didn’t see that the actual text read: ‘The newly elected town councilman, Ron Amalfi, is enjoying an un-romantic dinner with a platonic friend at La Rosa restaurant. He and Mary Worth split the bill and were at their respective homes by 7:30 p.m. after a perfunctory handshake.’” –Frank Parsnip
“In Charterstoneland, ‘contrary one’ is a euphemism for ‘geriatric harlot.’” –Eats Shoots And Leaves
“Just for the record, ‘Socks Fifth Avenue’ is too close to ‘Broads-way’ for my prediction about the imminent stab-mugging NOT to come true. Here’s hoping it’s preceded by Crankshaft going to Fire Island and asking if he’s in Queens.” –Fat Charlie
“I seriously cannot wait to see how MW manages to make what ought to be a hilariously awesome storyline incredibly boring. It’s like watching a dread sorcerer practice their Dark Arts, only every time they start to summon the incubus, they stub their toe on their skull-shaped podium and have to stop and hop around, squealing in pain.” –Lu
“If I never see the word ‘stimulus’ in such close proximity to Jamaal’s oddly-shaped head again, it will be too soon.” –anthom
“Mary’s insistence that Ron is just a friend because they only had dinner together might stand a better chance of soothing Dr. Jeff’s jilted fury if their own relationship had ever involved anything other than having dinner together.” –Trilobite
“I don’t know much about doing drugs, but if getting high involves standing around in an art museum discussing startup capital, I’ll pass.” –AirForbes
“Also, is it it just me, or does the current Mary Worth plotline sink anyone else into gray and featureless despair? Jeff says ‘while we were on our break’ and my fingers twitch toward the wooden barbecue skewers. They would fit so nicely into my eyeballs. Yes, being blind is a bummer, but it would distract me from the spectacle of two geriatrics reliving my high-school days.” –Kate
“I just dread it when my boyfriend starts a conversation with ‘Aren’t you the contrary one?’ I mean I would, if it ever happened. To anyone. Ever.” –Emma
“Has anyone else noticed how disturbingly Aryan all of the Patterson children’s spouses and boyfriends are? It’s like this strip was taken over by a bunch of Nazi Youth. Really boring, prudish, self-absorbed Nazi Youth.” –Lez Patterson
I need to give extra big thanks to those who put a few bucks in the tip jar. And hey, I may be going on vacation, but our advertisers never do, so let’s give ‘em a hand!
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June 15th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Buono Vacation Josh! Enjoy!
June 15th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Ciao! Bring back some Italian comics for us. I’d love to see if Mark Trail makes even less sense in another language.
June 15th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
And welcome Uncle Lumpster! We look forward to your sagacious, salacious hilarity. And perhaps we shall be treated to an inter-galactic visit from CHENNUX??
June 15th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Have a great time, Josh and Amber. And definitely go to Venice! It’s the awesomest city anywhere!
June 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Enjoy Italy for us! Be sure to take a Cassandra Cat shirt along. And we promise to behave for our favorite Uncle while you’re gone.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Ah, I knew Josh was going on vacation when he said so in Cartoon Violence, but hoped it was a mistake.
Do COTW get extra points for being COTF (of the fortnight)?
Have fun in Italy.
Congrats to all the float riders.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Have fun in Italy, Josh. The voices they have for the Simpsons there are pretty strange, by the way.
Seconded on Venice. If you go to Florence, don’t walk around looking up. Nobody there believes that dogs should be restrained from pooping on the sidewalk, and they don’t believe in cleaning it up, either.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Have a good time in Italy, Josh! We’ll be waiting!
…Hey Uncle Lumpy, Josh always lets us stay up late and watch scary movies. Can we pleeeeeeze?
*koff*
Anyway, in comics today… hmm. Not a whole, whole lot to snark about today. I do like that there’s not a glut of Father’s Day jokes… there’s nothing wrong with appreciating your dad (I made mine a card featuring Ted Forth), but it does tend to be the same goddamn joke over and over, if you can even still call it a joke. Of course, especially when you realize that 90% of comic strip dads are assholes anyway (Notable exceptions: Ted Forth, Rob’s Dad (Get Fuzzy), um… Calvin’s Dad, sorta), it seems false, so it’s good we don’t have them ubiquitously.
Foob, of course, takes this opportunity to redeem
RodJohn a little bit, from the usual litany of “MEN ARE SCUM.” How? By making him crave the glorious presence of Elly (Butter Tarts Be Upon Her). John may be a horrible, pathetic MAN, but he’s not ALL bad, namely, when he shows a need for Elly (Butter Tarts Be Upon Her.). Which, of course, Elly (Butter Tarts Be Upon Her) will find a way to bitch about, probably with him being “clingy” or something.Let’s see, what else… PBS was enjoyable, but nothing groundbreaking. Prince Valiant has evidently decided to add a little more magic to the setting (I know that the subset of people who read Prince Valiant and the people who’ve played Iron Heroes basically consists of me, but I think of PV as sort of an Iron Heroes setting… magic might exist, but you’re not going to run into it very often by any means.). Everything else was honestly pretty forgettable.
June 15th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Have a wonderful time in Italy, Josh!
June 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
arrivederci josh! Have a great time in italy!
June 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
#8 Zaq – Are you reading Prince Valiant online? If so, where can I find it?
Blondie – Herb wants Dagwood to squirt him.
Crock – It’s just fascinating how awful the art in Crock is. Say what you want about Dick Tracy’s stubby hands, Gil Thorp’s impossible angles, or Agnes’s wobbly lines, Crock has the very laziest and most incompetent art in the funnies (although Family Tree is more visually offensive, but I’m pretty sure the characters are intended to look like that.) I mean, I seriously looked at what I now realize to be a doorway in the last panel and thought Crock had a giant jigsaw puzzle piece hung on his wall.
DT – I do like the “Voice scrambler on” note, just in case we were worried that Big Al had forgotten to turn on his voice scrambler. I mean, who knows what might have happened if he had?
FC – Well that’s different.
FOOB – That’s right, Lynn. Keep telling yourself that he just can’t get along without you. I’m sure he looks at your continual bitter snippings at him and just wishes to God he hadn’t left you.
FW – Wait, if this is Iron Man & Captain America, why are we looking at the hero in Bomb-Pop spandex instead of the one in the badass robot suit? Either way, though, I heartily endorse replacing Funky Winkerbean with a series of mock-up Marvel covers.
JP – A whole Sunday of Abbey. I don’t even care about the dialogue, I approve.
MT – Holy crap, today’s Mark Trail is awesome.
MC – Hahahahaha nice!
PBS – The pun was funny enough, but it was Rat’s last line that really made me laugh.
RMMD – “You’re always on break! Hurry it up or Hulk smash!”
SFx – Holy cow, Slylock just actually turned something over to forensics!
SM – I like how even the “NEXT” boxes have given up any pretenses of dramatic tension in this strip. “The end of a superhero? Nah, we’ll find some way to get him out of this scrape without any real heroing on his part.”
Ziggy – ahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA
June 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
#8 Zaq: Prince Valiant? I think the subset of people who read Prince Valiant and this site is, um, you.
…
…
…waiting for PV lovers to come out of the woodwork.
June 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
#12 Baka Gaijin – Well, I for one am at least stunned by the artwork, but I don’t get the paper regularly enough to follow the plot (which is why I’m wondering if Zaq knows a place to read it online.)
June 15th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Funky Winkerbean is a Skrull!
…well, it could happen. I’m just sayin’, is all.
June 15th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
That tip jar must be awfully full if Josh is able to swing two weeks in Europe with the current exchange rate/air fares! Have a fab time abroad, Josh, and thanks for asking Uncle Lumpy to fill in ’cause otherwise it would be a bleak two weeks with no comix snark.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
12 Baka Gaijin
Does it count if I have something like 40 volumes of the original Prince Valeniet, but can’t find it online either, to read it. (And would I want to read the current stories anyway?)
June 15th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Thanks for telling us about the Kate Beaton comics, Josh!! They are hilarious!!!
Also, have a nice vacation!!!
June 15th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Ooh, where are you going to be? I am in Italy right now! I even came across an Italian comic shop, though I didn’t go in yet.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I don’t read Prince Valiant, but the Times Union does carry it online. I’ve tried to get into it, but it makes my brain hurt. The Times Union does have that zoom feature, though, which definitely makes it easier to read.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
#19 John C Fremont – Fantastic! I’ll have to toss together a script to view the full-size comic without all the other crap on the page and do some catching up.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
A deep curtsey to shegotzen, and huzzahs for the merry runners-up! Very excellent snarkage this week! And please don’t forget to toss that chocolate.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
The Prince appears in the Harrisburg newspaper, and I managed to snag about half of the 40-volume collection (plus three books Pacific Comics published back in the ’70s). Not only that, but I’m reaaaally looking forward to next year, when Fantagraphics republishes the entire line, two years to a book, in hardcover.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
MW — “I have a hard time getting past this when it’s staring me in the face for everyone to see!” That just screams for a stage declamation.
June 15th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
#13 commodorejohn: It has about 20 storylines and 300 characters that cross paths occasionally. I’m guessing it’d be easier to do ExxonMobil’s taxes blindfolded than try to figure out what’s going on in Prince Valiant.
#16 Rainbird: That’s the question: would you want to read it? Answer: no.
#19 JC Fremont: It makes my brain fart. It helps to look at Prince Valiant like a cat looks at TV.
#20 commodorejohn: Please post a Cliff Notes once you get a handle on what’s going on. If you don’t go insane first.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Have fun in Italy! The last time I was there, the free paper Metro (check underground stations, if you’re in Rome) had a translated Get Fuzzy (by “Derby Conley”)–but the translated version was running maybe a year behind the English version. It may be of interest.
Get Fuzzy always seemed like an odd comic to translate, since the punchlines so often rely on puns. The punchlines that I saw were often substantially changed from the English. But maybe they were all absolutely HILARIOUS puns in Italian, and I just don’t know enough of the language to get them.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Alrighty, the Prince Valiant Comic Viewer is up! Dean Booth, if you’re reading this, feel free to toss this on your site as well – here’s the source. It uses hotlinking, so it may go down if they ever start blocking referrers, but for now, this is a good way to skip the bloated Times Union comics page if you want to read PV online.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
22. Lou: that is GREAT news about PV being reprinted! I have to content myself with about 20 years of panels cut out of the Arizona Repulsive and Tucson Snitizen.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
#11 commodorejohn re: FW: Back in the 60s, Iron Man and Captain America were co-features in Tales of Suspense, each star alternating on the cover, each with his own storyline. Cap happened to be the cover star for ToS #80. Agree it’s a big improvement over the usual Funky strip.
#24 Baka Gaijin: Count me as a Prince Valiant fan. The King Solomon’s treasure storyline has been relatively easy to follow and, in general, Mark Schultz & Gary Gianni have been doing a fine job, especially art-wise. (cj: Nice job on the viewer)
Josh: Have a fine vacation. Enjoy!
Uncle Lumpy: Have fun, your previous fill-ins have been pretty good. However, the last few times, I’ve noticed that when Josh is away, one or two trolls and bad-mouthers pop out of the woordwork. Keep in mind, just like Preview is our friend, the Delete key can be your (and those who’d rather not wade through those type of messages’) friend, too.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
#28 Gojira – Ah, so that’s an actual cover; I figured it was a bit of fanart-type stuff. Did that issue have something to do with someone’s life being taken up with running a pizza chain, or was he just tossing in something better because he only had one panel of story?
June 15th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
JP: is it terrorism? is it revenge? Who cares? I’m only here for teh sex:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2582171380/
June 15th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Prince Valiant was one of the all-time great comics when Foster was handling the chores. If they’d let Wood take over for him, it would have continued that way. But John Cullen Murphy? (Not even sure if he’s still doing it.) I only looked in on the comic once in a while over the years, so I might not have witnessed the actual jumping of the shark, but when Val was spending weeks in a magic land where you would change a letter in something to make it something else… (”Thinking quickly, Val turns the cooker into a hooker and retires discreetly off-panel, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively!”) …well, this wasn’t just jumping the shark, it was having two football players hold the shark down while he raped it repeatedly.
June 15th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Have a good time in Italy, Josh! But when you get back, promise you’ll go in for a checkup. This Tim Russert thing has me a little jumpy for you….
June 15th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Dads’ Day:
S-M: Forget “The End for a Superhero”, I’m still unhappy about the lack of an End of Superheroes, period.
FW: This is what I’m talking about! AAUGH!
FC: “As usual, 7 year old Billy…” How many years will real-life Billy be 7 years old?? …or is everyone Keaneward having little baby boys, all to be named “Billy”, just to make endless Fathers’ Day subs??
MT: I’m waiting for the swordfish in the last panel to suddenly turn his head to the readers and start singing some pop tune in the original singer’s voice.
Peanuts: Hey, Linus – that’s Schroeder’s shtick!
June 15th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
#29 commodorejohn: Per GCD, the Cap story included an air rescue, mind-controlled suicide, leaping onto jet planes, battles with A.I.M. agents, a revelation from the Red Skull, and the introduction of the Cosmic Cube, a device that converts thoughts to reality. Typically great combination of action and concepts from Jack Kirby, the connection to pizza dough, mozzarella, and tomato sauce or restaurants serving same escapes me.
June 15th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
#34 Gojira – Hrm. I guess Batiuk just came up with a one-panel script for today’s strip, then thought “ah shit, I can’t get away with stretching one panel over a whole Sunday strip, what do I do with the rest of the space?”
June 15th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
still living in the past (Saturday):
Pluggers – You’re a Plugger if your entire graduating class could fit into a booth at Denny’s, even while you were still in high school.
If you can read this, you’re not a Plugger.
SF – E, B, C, D, A: A diver finds an old chest. It’s full of treasure! But a crab gets him in the tenders (hey, who else saw KUNG-FU PANDA?) and he jumps out of the water. Determined to try again, he dives back in the water, but doesn’t find anything.
June 15th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
You’re a Plugger if none of your graduating class can fit into a booth at Denny’s.
June 15th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
For the love of the art and practice of medicine, somebody do something! Fire Jimmy or realize that your Eggos are thawing or there’s no more information to be had in the stock room of Trader Joe’s…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2582442386/
June 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
36: a very enjoyable movie. Not sure that some of the offspawn who were there when I was were really old enough for a couple of the scenes, it had some very intense moments. It also was a far cleverer movie than most will give it credit for. RIght up there with Kill Bill for homage to the wushu-classics. Did you stay thru the credits? Some of the backgrounds were beyond wonderful.
Saturday’s GF and Sunday’s PBS were both very nicely done. GF set it up smoother, PBS obviously was working backwards.
MC: celebrity win. Well done, Ed Power and Mel!
June 15th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Man, Josh goes on a lot of vacations. No wonder the American worker’s ethic is reviled globally.
but then I’m a teacher and am being paid to do nothing for three months so nevermind
June 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
BREAKING NEWS: Having been let go from Gil Thorp, Clambake has found a similar position in another strip:
http://www.gocomics.com/cleats/2008/06/15/?campid=0&ssns=9&
June 15th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
A big shoutout to Mamoiselle Hepzibah for her great taste in comics. I’m glad there are still people out there visiting the Okeefenokee.
June 15th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Poteet #23: Dr. Jeff is talking about the other photo accompanying the story, the one of Mary getting out of a limo Britney-style.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Have a nice trip, Josh. And, be sure to pay tribute to the local don. He can make your stay a wonderful one, remember to bow at the waist, kiss the don’s ring and call him Godfather…or else.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
#44 Jamus –
Josh’s visit isn’t all pleasure — he’ll be looking after the family olive oil business in Sicily. But don’t worry about Amber getting bored — the chauffeur has promised to teach her how to drive!
June 15th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Hey, I recently spent 4 weeks in India, and I was able to keep up with reading this site just about every day, so is it really too much to expect Josh to keep up with merely writing it?
:-)
June 15th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Wow, you have a lot more time off than I do. Have a good time! Thanks for hiring the fun babysitter!
June 15th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I hadn’t read today’s “Judge Parker” until just now, so I missed some rehashing. Anyway, Sam sure stares off dreamily as he asks, “What’s not to love?” Mayhap Gloria isn’t the only one writing “Mrs Steve Shannon” over and over on a legal pad.
Also, congratulations to the COTW folk. Delightful comments, colorful names.
June 15th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
#44 and 45,
Hopefully Josh won’t offend the Don and wind up with the head of one of Abbey Spencer’s horses in his bed.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
# 43 Tom Bombadil — BWAHAHA! Also, eww.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:54 am
Risking UL’s timing with the 6/16 preview:
FOOB:
P1: Yeah, but Grampa’ll mind, alright — besides seeing his granddaughter in his dead wife’s dress (Oedipal nightmare), he’ll see it torn up.
“BOXCAR!” — PLUNK!! — dead
P2: Liz looks like a little girl! Gee, what a surprise.
P3: Good swimmers? Sure — both survived while Terese and the million Lizsuitors drown, Chappaquiddick style.
P4: Ain’t no backyard pool — for them (Lizthony AND Mikedeeyuk), it’s a vast ocean, and they’ve got anchors tied to their ankles… or is that ankles tied to their anchors?
June 16th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Must be Monday…I can’t see most of the strips. So, I must snark at what is available:
FOOB!: what’s that in Dee’s hand in the last panel. I’m sure it’s a pincushion, but I’d like to believe it’s one of little jeffy’s lollipoops or Barfy’s testicles.
A3G: geez, would everyone get together on the same page about Alan, compare notes, realize a lot of cash is missing (or about to be missing), and beat the crap out of him?
DtM: and WHAT’s in Mr. Wilson’s hand? No, don’t tell me.
MT: ah, I get it with the ice cubes. When I took herpetology, we’d often stick the reptiles we’d snared briefly in a cooler…it was easier to photograph them before they skittered off. And see? There’s a tortoise! Kelly’s going to cool it down a bit so it … doesn’t …skitter…oh, never mind.
Okay, so I’m going back to my first thought: Cherry is making ice for dinner.
MW: oh, I so want to see Dr. High-and-Mighty-so-Very-Wronged Jeff Corey up against a wall like in Panel 1, being cavity searched by Santa Royale’s finest…
Mutts: voile!
Phantom: and a 7.8 from the East German judge.
And the guy with the wrench.
And a boot in the head.
RMMD: how very incisive, Dr. Morgan!
Dang it, I can’t get Judge Parker! And this is the one where Sam rips off Abbey’s clothes, right there in the den? And has his way with her, right? RIGHT?
dammit
June 16th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Have a GREAT Vacation, Josh! We’ll be quietly awaiting your return.
___________
DEATH to TJ!
June 16th, 2008 at 1:38 am
DT — “You’ve got one big heist under your belt, Big B.” If this were any other strip, I might derive some merriment from that line. But the thought of ANYONE in DT having sex for any reason is just dispiriting.
June 16th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Have a great vacation Josh!
And Y HALO THAR UNCLE LUMPY! I welcome our lumptastic new (temporary) overlords.
Also also plus, regarding the Hark the Vagrant! comic, am I being a jerk by pointing out that “Bloom County” already did a Garfield-meets-President-Garfield strip about 20 years ago? Yes? Okay then, forget I said anything.
June 16th, 2008 at 5:41 am
I would just like to point out that Kate Beaton is fucking awesome.
But Nedroid is pretty cool too.
June 16th, 2008 at 5:50 am
Drop me a line if you happen to be in Milano:
bertmarco (at) gmail (dot) com
June 16th, 2008 at 8:13 am
God, that is a lollipop? I throught that Jeffy had dropped a meatball.
June 16th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I for one loved the “Tales of Suspense” tribute cover in Funky.
Gad, I just had a thought. Given Batiuk’s ability to make prodigious leaps ahead through time and space and to visit even the realms of death…..maybe HE has the cosmic tube.
We are so screwed.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Dude double u tee eff. I have a regular job. I have a wife and two kids. I go to church. And here’s known leftist and layabout Josh flitting off on another vacation. This time to Old Europe. The last time we took a vacation it was to South Dakota. It’s enough to make me turn Plugger.
June 17th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Hurray, Kate Beaton’s comics are the awesomest thing ever! I like Napoleon stealing the cookies (tho James Madison’s sexy butt is good too).