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One-panel one-liners

Heathcliff, 1/12/13

Heathcliff enjoys eating actual putrefying garbage, much to the disgust of humans.

Lockhorns, 1/12/13

As Leroy is all too well aware, the Lockhorns’ friends are prepared to unleash a hail of bullets on both of them with very little provocation.

Pluggers, 1/12/13

WHAAAT A PLUGGER DRIVING A FOREIGN CAR BUILT BY ACTUAL COMMUNISTS HERESY UNCLEAN

223 responses to “One-panel one-liners”

  1. Derelict
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    It might be difficult for the Lockhorns’ guests to shoot considering the look like they’ve al been overcome with a level of enui approaching comatose.

  2. Comrade Denny
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    A plugger’s plugger in an unreconstructed Titoist?

    Ziggy: I guess the idea here is that Hutu and Tutsi will come together in harmonious hatred of Ziggy?

  3. debussy fields
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    FC– “…doing that thing you told her not to do.” You know, showin’ her private parts to me right at eye level!”

  4. Remy Porter
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    That’s obviously Luann visiting the Lockhorns. Oh my god, the universe just shrank and now these two comics exist in the same unit of spacetime. And yet, it makes so much more sense.

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if your choice in vehicle shows a wanton disregard for the air quality around you. That sounds about right, actually.

  6. hypochrismutreefuzz
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Also that piano only has one white key.

  7. Word-doctor
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    FC-”Oh, you mean Kittycat’s sucking the breath out of PJ? I just told her to, uh, not do that counterclockwise on Mondays. Otherwise it’s ok.”

  8. Rusty
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Pluggers only drive old pickup trucks or massive Buick sedans. You can look it up.

    I enjoy the idea of the Lockhorns attending and giving cocktail parties. It’s an incredibly dated concept now, but there was a time when getting drunk and fighting with your spouse amongst friends was very bourgeois. The modern day equivalent of wearing black North Face fleece and driving a massive SUV to Starbucks.

  9. KreatureFeatures
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Oh Jack Elrod, why do you mock us?

  10. Droopy Says
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#2): Tito Jackson, that is. Pluggers are convinced he was the talented one.

  11. KreatureFeatures
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    MT: “Five out of five? That’s nearly 100%!”

  12. Love Is ...
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    … hiding your raging boner behind an open car door.

  13. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    A3G-Haven’t you seen those PSAs, Margo? The cops are everywhere and will arrest for walking while drunk.

    MT-”He’s terrible but the old woman with him is amazing. She’ll cure you of any problems that you have.”

    Gil Thorp-Traveling to Central can be a battle. You have so many different dangerous zones to go through. There is the Super Intelligent Ape Zone, the Plague Zone, the Zombie Zone, the Post-Apocalyptic Biker Zone.

    MW-It sounds like in that first panel Drew is getting tired of Mary constantly helping people as much as we do.

    FW-”I saw an old man naked and I think I might have liked it.”

    FW 2-”This is disturbing yet sexually arousing.”

    Luann-“Brad, please. When I con I don’t hurt people. I get them to spend extra money for food they didn’t want and to get you to tear up your house looking for a little girl.”

    Love Is-And be sure to tip her well.

    Pluggers-A plugger’s plugger’s plugger drive Gremlins.

  14. Jasini
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: I’m more concerned with the one-eyed monster in the background bending in for a closer look.

  15. Ratiocinator
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    9CL: I love the look on Amos’ face in panel four. “That narrow strip of shoulder flesh underneath her strap that I just glimpsed…my god…so beautiful…they should’ve sent…a poet…”

    Judge Parker: “I’m sure she’ll be delighted, Dad! I mean, she told me that she didn’t want anybody at this wedding but her parents and that she couldn’t stand you guys in particular. But she’ll certainly understand when I explain to her that I couldn’t possibly ever elope without telling the whole town about it first, and that I’m only letting you be a part of the wedding because Katherine wore me down by…um…asking calmly…

    “Okay, yeah, I think all of us should have bullet-proof vests on when we meet her.”

  16. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff-”I thought the whorehouse down the street was finger licking good.”

  17. Comrade Denny
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    A3G: Evan’s still hiding out in Margo’s bed with his holiday surprise, isn’t he?

  18. Sophia Pygea
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    FW: mopey kid in the middle imagines touching Crazy’s flamenco bits. NTTAWWT.

  19. gleeb
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    3-J: Don’t do it, Margo! The blandness spreads that way!

    Slylock: I have no idea how this scenario of lies and betrayal is supposed to lay out, but I’m betting that ice cream is really chicken liver flavored and that bunny is no vegetarian.

    ‘shaft: Even I know the Steelers are out of it. Should have run this one in November, Batiuk.

    Pros and Cons: Does anyone read this? It’s really quite good. No long self-important story, good gags, and art that grows on you.

    ‘bean: Still not showing us anything, still just talking about it. Still garbage.

    Beetle: Mrs Halftrack longs for death, but knows the general would fall to pieces even more without a wife.

    Parkers: So she’s already lying to to you, eh, Randy

    Dick: No fried grass for you today!

    Sports in Milford: Will the power of the Peacock aid her, the doubter? I’m on tenterhooks.

    Lola: Hey, comix-makers! Have an idea that’s shit? Do it anyway, but have the characters comment on it! Comedy gold!

    Nest Heads: Yes, not investing millions in a barely-concealed ballistics missile program has caused your small appliance to fail.

    Spidey: That Kraven, he’s a complicated man.

    FC: Bad Kittycat! Tempting Jeffy that way…

    The Barn: See Nest Heads above.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    HotC: ayup. That’s a common reaction. The trilogy is written in a MUCH different style than The Hobbit. Also, quite frankly, the first 120 pages or so are pretty dull. Once you get to the Gates of Moria, though, you’re HOOKED!

    Lio: *squeeeeee*

    NAoQV: *rofls*

    SBp: points for the concept and execution.

    Zits: I LOL’d. as much for the meme-take as the truth of it.

    Bizarro: because ass-less chaps couldn’t be shown on the funny pages!!!

    Crank: *points and laughs at written-months-ago /fail.*

    MG&G: wow. just wow. The 80′s called, and want their Monster Truck joke back.

    OBH: possibly NSFBG.

    Pluggers: The Machine God himself couldn’t keep a Yugo running for 30 years.

    6Cx: yeah, if only the show times were that synchronized.

  21. gleeb
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    And when I say Nest Heads, I of course mean Lola.

  22. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .backseat driving.

  23. Holly Folly
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    What’s really sad is that she doesn’t need sheet music to play, only a really big sign to remind her of what song she should be on.

  24. bunivasal
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Wait, does Heathcliff live in Santa Royale? Because I think that garbageman is emptying a big heaping vat of Mary Worth’s cooking.

  25. Mibbitmaker
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: “City Dump” really just means that Marvin is visiting a city.

    Lockhorns:
    “Yes, I do, Leroy! I wish that all the wives here kill their husbands. Now!”
    “Well, Loretta, the feeling’s mutual, right, fellahs?”

    Pluggers: “Rusty Pluggers” is the birth name of Mark Trail’s adopted son.

  26. Mibbitmaker
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#25): Oops! That should go:

    Pluggers: “Rusty Bumpers” is the birth name of Mark Trail’s adopted son.

  27. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Is TJ the reincarnation of Hugo Messmer himself? He opens the door and out she goes? Actually – that would explain his grin – it serves as the equivalent of a hypnotist’s coin.

    If I were TJ’s dentist I’d lose my licence for malpractice…but it would be a sacrifice in the cause of humanity.

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    umm, Poteet? we need to talk.

    Squeetahs don’t understand snow.

    4-wk old corgipup. (named Baron von Waffles!)

    baroo?

    a bats :[-isian corgi mash-up.

  30. TheDiva
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Yeah, because they might totally decide it’s okay for a woman to throw away a promising career just to placate her boyfriend’s ego!…What, that wasn’t what he meant?

    Pluggers: Pluggers are in an eternal competition to see who has the most pathetic, down-at-the-heels life. If that means driving a car made by the Reds, so be it.

  31. Zerowolf
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Luann: So what, in about a year Ann will be back, having found Jesus and launching her exciting new career as a garbage collector?

  32. "My Name is Shrug, and I'm a Plugger" "Hi, Shrug!"
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#30):

    Wait, the Yugo was made by the Reds? We Pluggers thought it was made by the Yankees. You know, ‘cuz Yugo Berra played for them!

  33. nescio
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Heathcliff: I like that they just fenced off a block in the middle of the city to dump garbage in. And the crescent moon reminds me of the time someone pointed out the artist for Crock couldn’t even draw the sun.

  34. CowKing
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth- I’ve noticed that Jeff’s crazy car has taken a turn for the worse today, now apparently the rear window of the car actual is in front of the headrests of the front seats, sometimes it is sometimes it isn’t. Also there is nothing but glass behind them!

  35. brendancalling
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    A3G: “What am I going to do with you Margo?” “I have a suggestion.” This is getting raunchy…

  36. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MT – “Bill, if this fellow has won five out of the last five bass fishing tournaments he MUST be doing something underhanded! Hell, the best I’ve ever done is to win four out of three fishing tournaments!”

    “Huh? Um…Well, anyway, Mark, this fellow sounds like a pretty sleezy caracter if you ask me. By the way, the fellow’s name is Gene Johnson.”

    “GENE JOHNSON?!! No WAY! Gene Johnson is my best fishing buddy! I even cleared him of murdering the widow Chavez! I also spent lots of time alone with him in his prison cell!”

    “More information than I wanted to know, Mark. WHAT you do with your friends in their prison cells is none of my business, Mark. Just do the story, Okay?”

    “Well, okay, Bill. ANYTHING is better than hanging around this cabin.”

    “Say, Mark. Since this bass fishing tournament is near Lost Forest I am sure you will want to take Rusty along with you!”

    “Um, er…gee, THAT sounds like a SWELL idea, Bill…but, unfortunately, Rusty will never have a snowball’s chance in hell of me taking him because once I’m finished telling the Lost Forest Fishing Contest Commissioner about all of the ways Gene Johnson cheats while fishing I am sure they will cancel this and any future fishing contest!”

    “Lost Forest Fishing Contest Commissioner???”

  37. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#13): Don’t forget the underground lair of the C.H.U.D.s.

  38. Zerowolf
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MW: I would have never pegged Dr. Jeff as selling Mary Kay on the side.

  39. Zerowolf
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    RMMD: It comes naturally when your an extra over at Funky Winkerbean….

  40. TheDiva
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    9CL: Cover yourself, hussy!

    A3G: “Buy me a better lock!”

    C’shaft: Crankshaft is so toxic he can spoil the lives of people he’s never met and who are hundreds of miles away.

    FW: Four mouths, none of them positioned where they should be on the face. That’s the real horror here.

    Luann: At one point, I would have said that any ending to this arc that didn’t involve a class-action lawsuit against TJ and Shannon being taken away by Child Services would have been unsatisfactory. Now I’ll just settle for a ending.

    MT: They’re just rubbing it in Rusty’s nose at this point.

    MW: Hey hey hey, no fair singing paeans to Mary until after she has single-handedly guided John Dill to baking glory!

  41. Mr. Fibuli
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    My old mechanic used to collect Yugos and race them. I asked him once, “Is the Yugo a really great car with an undeserved reputation or what?”
    He said, “Naw, they’re shit cars, but I like souping them up and blowing the doors off people in their fancy street rods.”

  42. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    MT – (Rusty): “MARK! MARK!! The news says there is going to be a BASS FISHING CONTEST near our area not too far from a nearby city in the southern part of the state! Will you take me, Mark? WILL YOU, Mark? WILL YOU, WILL YOU, WILL YOU?!!!”

    “Umm, SAY, is that the phone I hear ringing again? I must leave now, Rusty. Maybe while I am gone you can try really hard to think up some more convincing way of talking me into taking you fishing. At least something more realistic than this lame story you made up about some fictitious local fishing contest! Good luck with that, kid!”

    “Bummer….oh, by the way, Mark… while you were away I pawned that favorite big camera lens of yours. Cherry said we needed some cash for my psychological therapy sessions!”

  43. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    9CL— It bothers Amos to see Edda with a strap off. He prefers her with a strap on.

  44. Señor Tortilla
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I haven’t paid attention to the comics in a while, but it seems like they’re finally finishing up the Kraven storyline in Spider-Man, which I’m guessing was inane as I think it was.

    FC – Kittycat’s throwing up into the toilet, probably for good reason.

    FW – Crazy Harry’s about to find himself on the child sex offender registry list.

  45. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    JP-Delores isn’t planning on killing herself. She’s just going to shoot the cancer out of her body.

  46. Cuddleslave
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Pluggers – A triple plugger still drives a Renault Le Car. According to Wikipedia.

  47. exapno
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    CK is down – AGAIN

    did see these in my deadwood though:

    FC Kittycat has obviously just seen the proofs of next week’s strips

    Blondie This is why I still love Blondie – Dag manages to make an EVENT out of something as mundane as getting a new snow blower.

    did see ASM before CK blew out: Next week we’ll get this:

    JJJ: So Parker why, after paying all that money for you to come out here, you didn’t get me any pictures???

    PP: Oh I got pictures JJ – I got pictures of you and that chorus girl bimbo you been wining and dining all around town – and I’m sending them to your wife AND the publisher of the Bugle! how about a PLANE ticket home, cheapskate – first class!

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#43): ba-dum TISH!

    well played, sir.

  49. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    @exapno (#47):

    CK is Comics Kingdom? I was having problems with it today too and I thought it might have been something with my computer.

  50. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#19):

    That Kraven, he’s a complicated man.

    . . . And no one understands him but his showgirl . . .

  51. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: I admit I hadn’t previously spent a lot of time thinking about death-by-T-Rex, but eh, you take your kicks where you can get them. More popcorn?

    The Amazing Spider-Man: I suppose this is meant to be some sort of humorous twist, with the villain brought low by the love of/for a Vegas showgirl, but for the life of me, I can’t think of anyone feeble-minded enough to find it funny. It must be terribly lonely writing this dreck, especially now that John Updike is dead.

    Apt. 3-G: Oh, dear. Margo’s words will lead to a week’s worth of guessing games around here. This will not end well.

    Archie: Less a joke than the working out of all the mathematical permutations.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Channeling Liam for a moment: this is enough to make Brooke hard.

    Dennis the Menace: Judging by Dennis’ get-up, this is a Sunday drive gone horribly, horribly wrong. But by the looks of the Mitchell boys’ faces, they’re both in on the joke, and apparently relish the thought of torturing Alice. Either way, DtM wins today’s Creepiest Comic award.

    Luann: Why do they put up with TJ, again?

    Mary Worth: Hugh Hefner don’t need no ding-dang square concept of monogamy, tell you what. You do your “cake” thing, and he’ll do his “helping” thing, preferably with six blondes at a time.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Finally we’re going to get to the lesbian-love-interest portion of the program, thanks to Delores’ emotional blackmail. Despite this dicey beginning, I’m sure they’ll be happy raising Rex’s demonic spawn together.

  52. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

  53. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#50):

    Her name was Sherry, she was a showgirl
    with spiderwebs in her hair and a fake tiara up there…

  54. Clint Brawny
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Reed Hoover, again?

  55. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    MW/MT: See, this is what happens when you constantly up the ante on the legacy-comics excitement: Your audience becomes desensitized to the constant thrills, and with each new plot, you need to go to even greater extremes, just to keep up with the competing strips. So Mary participates in a cake-decorating contest, and so he won’t be left in the dust, Mark needs to cover a fishing contest.

    What will be next in this perpetual quest for heart-stopping thrills? My guess: a high-stakes shuffleboard tournament on Randy & April’s wedding cruise!

  56. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    A Plugger’s car outlives the Plugger.

  57. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#37): “Of course you’ll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the Pimps and C.H.U.D.s.”

    @Cuddleslave (#46): Busted! A Plugger can’t fit into a Le Car.

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#53): The fake tiara up where? Up her prehensile you-know-what?

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#55): My guess: High stakes winner-take-all tiddlywinks quarter-finals playdown.

  58. Majicou
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Luann: If it weren’t for past experience, I’d be inclined to say that Evans had reached some degree of self-awareness and noticed that his “hero” in this arc was no better, and arguably worse, than his “villain.” If.

    Mark Trail: Ooh, what exciting new excuse will Mark use to keep Rusty far away from any fishing?

    Marvin: One should always make Marvin cry on general principle.

    S-M: And the villain defeats himself, while Peter Parker inches ever closer to his goal of being in a persistent vegetative state.

    @Ratiocinator (#15): No 9CL character would ever be heard to say “There are no words,” though.

  59. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    @exapno (#47): @Liam (#49): Comics Kingdom? Broke for me too.

    // Alas, no Apt 3G for me!

  60. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#53): *runs screaming from the earworm*

  61. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#57): I had a Le Car once. Bought it for $500. It was ok. Had a certain weird Gallic charm. Sold it for $600.

  62. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    The original caption on Dennis the Menace: Margaret has been getting fat and throws up every morning. Is eight years old too early to get a girl pregnant?

    Slylock’s mystery is solved: The dog is after kitty’s marijuana ice cream cone.

    Every time I’m in the former Yugoslavia, I look for Yugos. The car, not the people. I see them all the time. The cars, not so much. Former Yugoslavian Pluggers drive old Skodas.

  63. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#60): MWAHAHA! Evil for day: checkmark.

  64. Bill
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS: It’s clear Brookins is no longer personally involved in his own comic as he would know conservative Pluggers would never have a car loved by ignorant LIBTURDS!

  65. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#61): Wait, somebody made money on a LeCar? Impressive.

    Stands to reason, though. I heard of a guy who owned an AMC Gremlin (apparently bought it from the stereotypical grandma who only went to church and the grocery store). He said that he got offers to buy it all the time.

  66. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#40): Yeah, it’s funny what we wish for and what we’ll settle for. In some ways, this is a dream come true:
    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (yy#193)
    But really, short of TJ being institutionalized, what ending would be satisfying?

  67. commodorejohn
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#8): But…I drive Buick sedans…

    (Well, actually I’m driving a battered-ass Mercury at the moment. But in terms of history and preference? Totally with the Buicks. I know they’ve got a reputation as old-people cars, but they’re comfy and quiet and good runners and what more do you need?)

  68. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    MW “We are both compelled in the same way.”
    Please select an appropriate response for Mary:
    a. “Yes, Jeff, we are both compelled to never have sex.”
    b. “No, Jeff, I have none of your depraved sexual fixation with maniacal clowns!”
    c. “Yes, Jeff, we both have a compulsion to interfere in the lives of others with little regard for their autonomy or the consequences of our ill-considered advice.”
    d. “Yes, Jeff, we both do like to talk endlessly about ourselves and our incredible beneficence.”
    e. “No, Jeff, I pretty much can keep my hands above my waist, especially at dinner.”

    MT “He must be good!”
    “No, Mark. He has a full beard. He must be cheating somehow.”

    FC Go ahead, Kittycat, spray him, spray him good, right in his face. For a few minutes, you’ll both smell much better.

    A3J You know, in all my seduction schemes, I’ve never used that line. But, hey, maybe it’s a good one!

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    wandered around Puffington Host for a bit, one bit of decent news was to be had.

    Puppy Bowl will have hedgies as cheerleaders this year.

  70. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#55):

    What will be next in this perpetual quest for heart-stopping thrills? My guess: a high-stakes shuffleboard tournament on Randy & April’s wedding cruise!

    Hmmm. I wonder which one will be the first to feature a curling contest on a featureless frozen lake in the dead of winter?

  71. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is very good at covering his bass.

  72. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

  73. Will
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Weird. The car’s red in the version on gocomics. Any way, hat’s off to Reed Hoover for his ten thousandth appearance in the strip.

  74. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#29):

    my bad.

    here is the punch-line for the afore-mentioned corgi mashup.

  75. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    FC: “What? Trying to commit suicide? Listen, Kittycat, if I can’t get out of this hell-hole, nobody can!”

  76. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#8): “Pluggers only drive old pick up trucks or massive Buick sedans, you can look it up.”

    Being sixty six years old I didn’t have to, as you say, “look it up”. All I had to do was look out at my driveway and inside our car barn. It turns out you were only partially correct. I DO occassionally drive an old pick up truck, it’s a 1929 Model A Ford closed cab pick up truck which is currently in our car barn for the winter along side our other old cars which include a vintage unrestored Corvette Indy 500 pace car, a 1978 AMC Pacer with only 65,000 miles on it, a restored 1980 VW Rabbit/Caddy pick up truck, an all original 1966 Mustang GT fastback, a restored original 1967 Camaro RS/SS convertible and a 2004 Cadillac STS. Parked outside in this plugger’s driveway are my wifes Subaru Outback station wagon and our Cadillac Escalade, which I NEVER use to drive to Starbucks since we do not use Starbucks coffee.

    Sorry, nothing against Buicks, but at the moment there are none here at our place….although, our 92 year old neighbor DOES have a Buick, but no longer drives it. Maybe when I’m old enough not to drive I’ll buy a Buick too. Until then I most of all prefer driving the Vette, the Camaro and the Mustang GT fastback!

    Oh, I also had a black North Face jacket similar to the one you mentioned but I gave it to my 30 year old nephew who drives a pick up truck!

  77. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    mary worth:

    they can sit in the car and after having a fight they can tell each other how great each is and yet they can’t go inside of Mary’s place for “cocoa”?

    Whatthehell does “cocoa” mean to these people?

  78. Anonymous
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I saw a few Yugos back in the day – what a sad, sad, little car. Balsa wood and Elmer’s Glue.

  79. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Oooops, someone stole the cookies! (Dennis, stop that and get down immediately!)

  80. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#76): A friend and I were worrying a while ago about Buick going under, like some other brands have in recent years. I said, “as long as there are old farmers out there, there will be a Buick.”

    He, a farmer pushing 60 who drives a Buick, did not find this as amusing as I did.

  81. exapno
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    OK – Comics Kingdom is back up and running! And was it worth it? *sigh* no

    Actually Retail was good. Long time ago I worked at a place whose name rhymed with TJ Maxx, and WE had a ‘creepy guy’, who literally pawed his way through the panties table…and actually BOUGHT some. Totally creeped some of the younger girls working there out- so Guess Who had to work register when he checked out? I called him the Panty Man, and attempted to write a parody of Candy Man about him – sing it Sammy:

    Who can make the girls
    turn all shades of green?
    make them choke and barf
    ’til their stomach’s nice and clean?
    The Panty Man can (The Panty Man)
    Yes, the Panty Man can! (The Panty Man can!)

    The Panty Man can cause he likes to play with panties
    until his pants get nice and tight (pants get nice and tight)

    and so on…

  82. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    FW-”Should should I give him a dollar? I feel like I should give him a dollar.”

    MW-But I feel like Mary is more compelled to help people out of selfish means. She likes to hear people praising her and gets off of it like some kind of drug.

    MT-”Unlike you, Mark, I happen to run a magazine that needs to be put out. Now here is your next story assignment.”

    Spiderman-”I hope that you’ll wait for me.”

  83. Ramblin' Shrug
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#65):

    My previous car was an AMC Eagle, also acquired from a little old lady who didn’t drive it much (e.g., my mother), and while I didn’t get offers to buy it “all the time” I did get offers twice from total strangers…

    (We were historically an AMC/Rambler family, and the Eagle was the third AMC auto I’ve owned myself, but I suspect it will also have been the last one.)

    Currently hoping our twenty-year old rusted-out Mercury Villager makes it to the spring thaw, since the only thing I dislike more than shopping for a “new” used car is doing so during a Minnesota winter.

    And like a couple of other ‘Mudges, my recent posting level is about to drop greatly as I return to work next week and the new semester starts the week after that. (I’ve been off work for two weeks on jury duty. Was hoping to get picked for the T.J. vs. Anne Eiffel case, but in the event didn’t get picked for anything.)

    Oh, wait, I should put a joke in here somewhere. Uh — the same Plugger who thought the Yugo was named after Yugo Berra was also surprised to learn that Fords are made in Detroit, since he didn’t recall Whitey as ever having pitched for the Tigers. Pure comedic gold!

  84. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#80): “He, a farmer pushing 60 who drives a Buick, did not find this as amusing as I did”

    I can relate to that. I found out just how un-amused an elderly person, who no longer drives, can be the day I offered to buy my 92 year old neighbor’s Buick. Far from being a farmer, she won the megabucks a few years back so I guess she figures she can just as soon let the damn car sit outside and rot before letting me buy the damn thing from her, which is actually pretty amusing when you think about it!

  85. Mibbitmaker
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Luann: NO FUCKING KIDDING, Brad!

    MT: Ut — looks like time to crush Rusty’s hopes — again!

    MW: “I love me!” “I love me, too!”

    ZtP: Lightning bolt, meet Griffy. Griffy, lightning bolt.

    Crank: Oh, no! It’s BACK!!!
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
    (gee, thanks, Darkgate)

  86. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Let’s see if we can cross over the action between Mark Trail and Mary Worth. Maybe there will be a bearded guy who cheats at the cake competition because he’s smuggling diamonds inside his fondant, and Mark will encourage the second-place fisherman with platitudes until his face slides off his head and then they all have a pool party. And Rusty is petulant about cocoa.

  87. Mibbitmaker
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#53): Ah, Copacabana! The Funky Winkerbean* of songs.

    Whenever I hear it winding down, I always think of a Tex Avery character holding up a familiar sign reading, “SAD ENDING, ISN’T IT?”

    *Not the strip when the song was new in 1978 — any FW after 1992.

  88. aprilglaspie
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    “I have a suggestion”?!?! Will they have to change the name of the strip when Evan blows himself to kingdom come planting the bomb in Margo’s closet? Is the new Bond about to find out that Margo, in fact, has a penis? Are Margo’s underpants around her ankles? How are you people not following the Unabomber masseur blows up 3G story?

    And Mibbit, that MW comment @85 sums the entire ouvre up perfectly.

  89. Chip Whittle
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t the important news that Reed Hoover is not dead, at least to the extent that any Plugger can be described as “not dead”?

  90. Trillian
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers can be neatly separated into “Ford” and “Chevy” and “Dodge” factions. There is no “Yugo” faction. I have a friend who keeps his 30-year-old Volvo running. Not a Plugger.

  91. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns – Whenever my friends or my parents friends would stop by, my Mom would play the piano in our living room while my Dad sat in his easy chair and announce the same line every time she would start playing a musical piece, “HOW ABOUT PLAYING FAR-FAR AWAY?” So to me, today’s Lockhorn comic is, as YUGO Bera once said, just like Deja Vu all over again!

  92. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth really takes the cake.

  93. Old Folkie
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#76): I’m green with envy!

  94. Trillian
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Just Googled it, and the Yugo was not imported into the US until 1985. Plugger with 30-year old Yugo: Godless Commie or vet who brought home impractical souvenir from Bosnia?

  95. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

  96. Old Folkie
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @Ramblin’ Shrug (#83): When my parents lived in Minnesota, they had an engine heater that they plugged into house current before starting the car. Do you do likewise?

  97. Anonymous
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Next week’s biggest premier is Marvel NOW’s Savage Wolverine #1, written and drawn by Frank Cho!

  98. Elk Meadow
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    What?! No one posted the ultimate “Yugo” YouTube link?!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaXMTtykHfE

  99. Elk Meadow
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    (Oh, and I was Anonymous at #97)

  100. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#95):
    AMC Pacers and the Pinto – two of the ugliest, shittiest cars since the Edsel.
    I think Mike Myers had a Pacer in “Wayne’s World.”

  101. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Ramblin’ Shrug (#83): my current car is an inheritance from my mother, a 1987 Subaru station wagon. That’s what it is. A 1987 Subaru station wagon. Not an Outback or a This or a That. A Subaru. While it’s mostly an “in-town” car (i.e., we really don’t trust it out of town), it had its glory days going multiple times to Las Vegas, once to Houston and once to Vancouver B.C. I’m not ready to pull the plug on it yet.

  102. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    @Bill (#64): I believe the preferred spelling is “libtards,” but yeah.

  103. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#3):
    I know, I wanted to comment on this – one of the best FC’s ever – Jeffy intrigued yet embarrased by Kittycat’s anus in his face.

    (Actually, Felix woke me up by doing almost exactly the same thing this AM – “Hi, Mom! Sniff my butt!”

  104. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

  105. Daniel
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    FC “aww, its anus looks like an asterisk”

  106. John C Fremont
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#95): Yes!!! (Too bad I’m broke, though.)

    @exapno (#81): I’ve goten so impatient with Comics Kingdom that I get as many comics as possible from other sources. For Retail, I go straight to retailcomic.com, and check out Norm’s other comic at gilcomics.com. Life is so much nicer that way. Less aggravating, at least.

    Reading Jeff talking with Mary Worth in that second panel makes me think he should be speaking in the voice of Sir Cedric Hardwicke from The Ten Commandments. “What we do now, we are compelled to do.”

  107. A Warm Shrug on a Cold Morning
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#96):

    Nope; our car starts just fine in the winter without any of this fancypants engine heater commie imp folderol. We do condescend to put it overnight into our (unheated) garage, though.

    I do remember my folks using an engine heater back on the farm, back in the day, though. That was up in northern Minnesota, and not here in the balmy Southern Part of the State.

  108. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#103): That’s why the other end of Felix doesn’t look like little Jeffy. Felix’s cuteness will allow him to get away with mooning you without you tossing him against the wall. What would your reaction be if you woke up with Jeffy mooning you? Riiiight.

  109. John C Fremont
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#106): Oops. That was a typo, not a Dragon Ball Z reference.

  110. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#78): @Calico (#79):

    I saw a few Yugos back in the day – what a sad, sad, little car. Balsa wood and Elmer’s Glue.

    Yes, but did you see them like this?
    http://www.cruisin66.com/stl/yugonext.html

    //I saw this exhibit in Grand Central Station back in 1995. I thought it was pretty amazing. (Too bad the photos don’t do them justice.)

  111. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#93): “I’m green with envy.”

    Well, please don’t be, but I’ll take that as a compliment anyway! Envy was certainly not at all the intent of my decision to make public a list of SOME of our vehicles. I have worked hard like everyone else, in my case for over fifty years now. As an Architect I started my own arcitectural design business for over 23 years, and am now semi-retired. I’ve been dragging home old cars and picking through junk for so many decades that I could have had the original reality show about that stuff! The results to date are a very large barn full of antique, old toys and collector cars, gas pumps, a couple of coke machines, many old signs, etc, etc, etc. all this stuff sitting in a climate controled barn on our property behind our 170 year old house which we have restored and have lived in since 1979. Sure, my wife and I are older now, which appearantly comes with age, but we sure as hell don’t like being refered to as PLUGGERS. I’ll challange anyone to 18 holes of golf any time, or better yet, a tarpon foshing tournament near a small island somewhere in the southern part of the hemisphere!
    I guess I was a bit urked by today’s comment #8 by Rusty who stated that an older person only drives a Buick or an old pick up truck. My sensitivity to such things probably goes with the territory of me being a ‘car guy’ since I was three.
    …I’m not really urked by Rusty’s remark, although I can’t help but wonder if his last name may possibly be Trail.

    Anyway, if you ever want to ride in a very fast Vette, stop by our home on the coast of Maine. Have to be during the summer though. Too much torque to drive it on snow covered roads! Or, better yet, my son could give us a ride in his really cool 1929 Model A Street Rod which has a 283c.i.d. Chevy V8 in it.

  112. AhClem
    January 12th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    After nearly 3,000 hours, Crankshaft is back on Darkgate! This calls for a par … no, wait. We don’t want to lower the celebration bar that low.

    FC – Jeffy’s face is at the same level as the cat’s ass. Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.

    MW – “We share that, you and I … the urge to help others.”
    “I established a clinic in Vietnam to provide medical care to the poor, and you are helping some schlub enter the cake-baking Olympics. Yep, one and the same.”

    MT – “Ooh! Another opportunity to not take rusty on a fishing trip!”

  113. Lenoxus
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Actually, this concept of the “plugger’s plugger” is being used in a way that makes sense. It’s not like the way a “man’s man” is just additionally manly; it’s more like the way the work of a “writer’s writer” is enjoyed by writers. In this case, a plugger’s plugger is scoffed at by pluggers (for driving communist cars, among other things) in the same way we elitist non-pluggers scoff at pluggers.

  114. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#36): @TheDiva (#40):

    “Say, Mark. Since this bass fishing tournament is near Lost Forest I am sure you will want to take Rusty along with you!”
    //They’re just rubbing it in Rusty’s nose at this point.

    Wouldn’t it be great if Rusty secretly entered and won the Great Lost Forest Bass Fishing Champeenship Contest? Just picture him on the podium receiving his trophy, beaming, then looking Mark straight in the eyes and saying, “Suck it, Trail!”

  115. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#97):
    hm.
    I’ve been burned by “Anonymous” before. It turns out you are correct. So, I won’t inquire much more on why you feel the need to promote this…er, post this.

    Not having read much of Cho’s comic strip or seen much of his art or caring about him at all, I wonder if this means someone else is doing the heavy lifting for his strip. Or, is that strip still made or not?

  116. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Loretta takes on a vintage Squeeze single, but I think it would help to have a harmony vocalist.

    MW: “Because helping a geriatric mama’s boy make a cake is exactly the same as saving people’s lives. No, I didn’t just roll my eyes.”

    WofI: Rodney apparently narrates all of his actions, even when he’s alone. A parrot is a bad choice of pet if you have Mark Trail Syndrome.

    Archie: “Okay, not really. But it is a patty, and it does come from a cow.”

    JP: Yeah, the CIA pays all right, but April would still like to be in the Parker will.

    BB: The general is alarmed because “housewife takeout” is his code word for having a hit man terminate his wife.

    Phantom: The lioness should definitely get away from the guy in the purple wetsuit who’s into scat.

    FC: Thought balloon from Kittycat: “Is that idiot gone yet?”

    SSmith: Word of production of “Advise & Consent” belatedly reaches Hootin’ Holler.

    S-M: Kraven will be the hero of his cellblock when the other prisoners see he’s getting conjugal visits with her. Also he basically defeated Spider-Man, but that’s not as impressive.

    SFx: I see no way of arranging these panels that won’t look like a terrifying drug trip.

    A3G: Now now, Greg. If you’re going to be 007, you’ll need to be able to take sexual harassment as well as dishing it out.

  117. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#100): “I think Mike Myers had a Pacer in Wayne’s World”.

    Correct! The Pacer from Waynes World was in a museum but I think it now belongs to a private collector. The Pacer we have is my Wifes old car, which she has refused to part with. The car hasn’t seen the light of day for almost 20 years now. The cost of a full restoration today would be about three times what the car would be worth when finished, so it just takes up space inside the barn. Even the guy who owned the AMC dealership nearby, where it was purchased when new, wanted to buy it from us but she wouldn’t budge.

    Funny part is, I can’t tell you how many times a person looking at our other cars has said, HEY! THAT’S JUST LIKE THE WAYNE’S WORLD CAR! I always reply, yes, but it doesn’t have the cup holder in the dashboard.

    If you happen to recall, at the end of the Wayne’s World sequel they actually used a stretched Pacer limo for the Arrowsmith band and entourage to climb out of!

  118. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#112):

    MT – “Ooh! Another opportunity to not take rusty on a fishing trip!”

    At this point Rusty’s best hope is that Mark eventually goes fishing for such a huge whopper that he needs boy-sized bait.

  119. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#114): “Wouldn’t it be great if Rusty secretly entered the Great Lost Forest Fishing Championship Contest?”

    If Rusty were to win the Lost Forest fishing derby, Mark would cast his fishing line and snatch the trophy away from him as a reminder to Rusty that HE WILL NEVER FISH AGAIN if Mark has any say in the matter!

  120. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#51):

    Luann: Why do they put up with TJ, again?

    Same reason they put up with the title character, Brad, Gunther, Crystal et al: It’s in the script.

  121. Trillian
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#118): Soon, Rusty will be 16 and Mark will be too cheap to spring for his fishing license. Just as well, as Rusty will be overly interested in these strange beings called “girls”.

  122. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#119): Ah ha ha HA! I can just see that.

  123. Esther Blodgett
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#101): I had a 1984 Subaru no-model-name-just-Subaru wagon for a few years in the 90s. I loved that car. :)

  124. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Now that’s a strapping lad.

  125. Ratiocinator
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#58): Ah, good point.

  126. Ratiocinator
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#72): Never, never stop doing these!

  127. Droopy Says
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#26): Your confusion over Rusty’s last name is understandable. Nobody ever admitted to paternity. His mother, whoever she was, kept blaming the stork.

  128. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#100): The Chevy Corsica should be in there too. Bland, and built like crap. (Two examples: the U clamp keeping the seats attached and upright: made of metal that snapped right off; the placement of a gasket for a fluid line right above the most expensive electronic part of the car, with predictable results. Oh, and an AC system that didn’t work properly if the windows were cracked more than an inch. Shitty, shitty car.)

  129. Baka Gaijin
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#121): Are there any girls in the LoFo other than his adopted mother?

  130. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#111): you wouldn’t have De Kalb old winged ear of corn sign? I always thought they were kind of neat (and a little space alien — a flying vegetable! EEEEEEE!).

  131. Écureuil Écumant
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    FC: Yes, cats should be ashamed to ask for it doggie style.

  132. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 12th, 2013 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Two thoughts:

    1) This would be more charming if he hadn’t done a similar gag about a week ago, with a very similar strap falling on the same side.

    2) Having read a week’s worth of piano page-turner gags, it’s now disturbing to contemplate today’s Lockhorns scenario.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#115): Liberty Meadows has been on repeats since 2001.

  134. Écureuil Écumant
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#132): So don’t tell me you’re surprised that Battyuk is strapped for new ideas?

  135. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger Fred (#104): I could use a few odds and ends (not on this list, but I bookmarking the site anyway). mr. bats :[ had to have his 1985 Volvo go and live in a farm upstate a few years ago, where it could frolic with other old Volvos because his mechanic could not longer get parts (and he’s a fiendishly-good finder of such things online). I later found out that our Volvo was not upstate, but it had become an organ-donor, which is still kind of cool (mr. bats :[ very occasionally sees it frolicking with other old Volvos behind the shop, and there’s always a little less of it).

  136. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#133):

    oh.

    So, what has he done since then?

    //and no. it isn’t wikipedia-free friday. if you don’t have an answer, and if i remember that i was curious, i’ll look it up. maybe.

  137. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#135): Since Volvo means “I roll” from the Latin, it would not be a big stretch to say, “I frolic.”

  138. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Word-doctor (#7):
    One of the ads I get here is for T-shirts – there was a funny one with a cat washing itself, looking like a pentacle, and the phrase was something like “Every time your cat washes itself, it is worshipping the Dark Lord.” Well played.

    Oh, and there’s this-such misinformation!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxkJqfUe4YI

  139. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#115): I was following his strip for a while on GoComics but eventually I got tired of it because there were too many unresolved plot arcs (and it started repeating, which makes sense if he’s stopped drawing it). However, to judge by occasional strips when he gave himself permission to let loose, the guy can draw. In fact, I’d say he does a much better job drawing women who are athletic and sexy than most of the superhero comic artists out there.

  140. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Dagwood lost his hat. I don’t think the wind speed generated from driving a lawn tractor with a snow blower attachment could be the cause. Therefore, I must conclude the springs on the side of his head launched the headpiece.

  141. Trillian
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#129): Good point. But, there’s always the internet.

  142. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#108):
    If it were the latter, I would hope there would be a window nearby.

    In our world, cats always get a free pass, even if they show some ass.

  143. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#139):

    hm.

    I just looked up what he’s done since the strips stopped and it says that he’s done a lot of comic book stuff.

    To be quite frank (ha!), I never bothered reading the strip and only found out about it and him because people were making fun of him online. I guess that was after he stopped the comic strip.

  144. Walker of Dog
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Shocking realization while checking out today’s Lockhorns: I can read sheet music!

  145. endless sky
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I think someone predicted earlier this week that by now TJ and Brad would be at home recounting how TJ totally got the best of Ann. Good call!

    FW: They wasted a week of valuable comic strip space for this? A whole WEEK? And that’s time we’ll never get back.

    Pluggers: The triumphant return of Reed Hoover! After being locked out of last year’s Top Ten, he’s back with a vengeance, and he’s gunnin’ for bear!… er, dog, whatever.

  146. Anonymous
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#144): Along with their cocoa, Mary Worth and Dr. Jeff read some sheet music.

  147. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    January 12th, 2013 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Love is….Stuffing it in her trunk with the top down!

  148. Navigator
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Today’s strip is very significant to the Pluggers mythos: we have learned that there are degrees of Pluggerhood. A “Plugger’s Plugger’s Plugger” would be running the Yugo on a single engine cylinder. A “Plugger’s Plugger’s Plugger’s Plugger” would have built an entirely new chassis out of plywood. By the thirty-second Pluggeric degree, the secrets of the universe are revealed. They’re mostly about stain removal, although there’s at least one decent casserole recipe.

  149. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#86): But let’s just skip the part when Kelly Welly tries to seduce Mark wearing nothing but some strategically placed buttercream.

  150. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#8):

    Is Mark finally going to take you fishing or not?

    // The suspense is killing me!

  151. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    @Love Is … (#12):

    Love is….opening the car door for her after she opened something up for you.

  152. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    FC: Kittycat is just trying to keep up with dog-butt jesus.

  153. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

  154. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#153):
    If only Dingo were here to do a video mashup…

  155. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüts!
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Love is…..slamming it in her trunk while topless!

  156. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

  157. FryinB
    January 12th, 2013 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Heathcliff is eco-commentary at its finest: any inner-city garbage dump that is so full that the garbage collectors need to resort to emptying trash cans at the entrance with the resulting slurry spilling on to the sidewalk is in a sad, sad state that must cause untold grief to its immediate neighbours (though the dead windows in those buildings suggest that the inhabitants have long since fled the encroaching mountain of filth).
    All that with nothing to say of the startlingly environmentally disastrous waste management method of collect can, deliver to dump, empty, return can, next can.

  158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#156): better companionship than water-stains, highway underpasses, or sides of refrigerators.

    or nun buns, for that matter.

  159. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann- OK, I take it that we are to believe that Ann Eyeful just walked out the door and quit her job, just because the guy that she just fired WANTED HER TO?

    Three words: BULL FUCKING SHIT!

  160. Illustrator Steve
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#130): “You wouldn’t have a De Kalb flying ear of corn sign?”

    No, sorry I do not, but those are neat looking old signs with the flying wings on top of the corn cob. The first time I saw one of those old signs it reminded me of my old high school logo, a bold capital letter L with a wing on it worn on letter sweaters, decals and the like. It represents Fort Lauderdale High School, no ear of corn, just a flying L with a wing on it. Come to think of it, we, the students, were also called the Flying L’s… ISN’T THAT RIGHT, Nehemiah Scudder? (He and I went to the same school, FLHS. Only ten years apart…with me of course being the younger one, just kidding Nehemiah, you know I was in the class of ’64). @Nehemiah Scudder (#61):

  161. Ranger Fred
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, Heathcliff’s diet consists mostly of junk food.

  162. BlondieFan1930
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    Did Spiderman do absolutely anything heroic throughout this strip? Didn’t save anyone, didn’t defeat the villain…he was mostly just a narrator.

  163. bats :[
    January 12th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

  164. Peanut Gallery
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro – I like the way the horses are giving each other that look.

  165. Another Kiwi
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Yikes! what is happening in the Mary Worth cocoa orgy? Are they onto the marshmallows yet? Don’t leave us in the dark!!
    Say that looks like a swell bunch of friends that the Lockhorns have. They certainly don’t look like heavily sedated abductees being used as an audience for the bitter psychological games their captors play, not one bit.

  166. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#163):

    GAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Mutant Rusty returns!

  167. Old Folkie
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#111): I’d love to see your old barn sometime. I’ve got a bit of petroliana garnered over the years… As an “older person” myself, I have never owned a Buick either. In earlier days I’ve had a couple Jags, an Austin Healy Sprite, and a Mustang GT among my 18 cars. Now just driving an SUV. But I’ve got my eye on an MGB that has a Rover V8 in the process of being restored…

  168. Droopy Says
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone else remarked upon the crescent wrench moon in Heathcliff? It’s even weirder than having the city dump inside the city.

  169. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#167):

    My first new car was a Buick. I was 22 years old.

    GM used to mail me flyers on golf matches and stuff, apparently assuming that I was an old golf duffer. I was neither.

  170. Ratiocinator
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @BlondieFan1930 (#162): He pulled the elephant away from the crowd when it was about to trample them.

    Following this feat of getting some people to say “Hey, maybe he isn’t so pathetic after all,” he got kicked in the face by the elephant and those people all said “Never mind…”

  171. Ratiocinator
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#168): I think it bears more than a passing resemblance to Pac-Man, myself.

  172. Liam
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#112):

    MT-The twist will be that Rusty is the fishing champ.

  173. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 12th, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Mark: (hanging up) Oh, Rusty!
    Rusty: What is it, Mark?
    Mark: Taht was Bill Ellis, my editor! He’s sending me to cover a bass fishing tournament!
    Rusty: Oh, boy! Fishing!
    Mark: So I can’t take you fishing!
    Rusty: You don’t have time, because you have to leave right away?
    Mark: No, I don’t have to leave for at least a week!
    Rusty: So you CAN take me fishing! Yay!
    Mark: Yeah, the thing is, I just came back from an adventure where I was fishing when I was kidnapped, THEN I had to fish to help feed the islanders, THEN I had that fishing contest with Otto, THEN I had to take that rifle away from Juan with my fishing pole, and NOW I have to go covert that fishing tournament. Rusty, did you ever hear the expression “busman’s holiday?
    Rusty: What?
    Mark: It’s when your vacation and your job are the same! See, my time at home is like my vacation, and If I spend it fishing, it would be really tedious. So I can’t do it.!
    Rusty: You c-can’t?
    Mark: Nope!
    Rusty: But it’s the only thing in this whole world that I want! The only thing I want is for you to take me fishing!
    Mark: Yeah, well

  174. Downpuppy
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#33): Moon on the left is waning/rising. Dawn’s on its way! Vie es brutale.

    All of which leads inexorably to : What the hell is the guy doing dumping a can? They dump the cans into the truck in front of your house, not at the dump at 4 am.

  175. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Oops
    Rusty: Because it’s t-tedious?
    Mark: I said REALLY tedious! Doesn’t anybody fucking LISTEN around here?

  176. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @Downpuppy (#174):

    Then you may as well ask why the guy on the left is standing there with his hands in his pockets! The other guy has gloves on! The cat’s licking its paw! The trash is spilling out onto the sidewalk.!Someone tried to pound a square peg through the moon!
    There’s a dog standing on its hind legs in a t-shirt underneath a line that says: “All the Cool Kids…”!!!!!

    The Mayans were Right! It ended last month!

  177. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

  178. Sgt. Stoned
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Snuff Smif: “All talkin’ and no action”, yeah. But using a word like DIALOGUE?!? Never in Hootin Holler except maybe the Preacher as a malaprop for “Decalogue”.

    Lockhorns: The Second Amendment is THE foundational principle in the all-white suburb in which the Lockhorns make their home.

  179. Peanut Gallery
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#50): (Kraven!) Ya damn right.

  180. Sequitur
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff: I think an alien spacecraft crash landed into the City Dump.

    No, really. There’s a flying saucer in the trash. I’m not kiddin’! It’s there I tell ya!

    And they took a bite out of the moon first. Their mission was to abduct Hagar the Horrible but they missed and hit Heathcliff instead.

    // You think I’m making this up, don’t you!

  181. Peanut Gallery
    January 12th, 2013 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    @Ranger Fred (#161): *groan of applause*

  182. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#100): Oh, I dunno. The Ford Escort is right up there…

  183. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @Daniel (#105): Alt: “So that’s where Vonnegut got the idea of using a *…”

  184. tallyHO
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#178):

    Alt Panel Two gagline:

    It’s called ‘Catatonic Windbags’!

    Alt Alt:

    All talk, No acshunifimcation!

    Alt Alt Alt:

    Silence o’ da Hams

    Alt Alt Alt Alt:

    It’s over-budget!

  185. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    Dinette – Yes. I come to the comics page to see horrible people with whom I’d never voluntarily associate.

    love is… – A one-seater, but he still gets in the back door.

    Mary – It’s very good that Giella puts a date into each day’s strip, so you can tell it from yesterday’s strip, or the day before’s, or tomorrow’s, or next week’s.

  186. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Momma – “I’m putting my garbage outside, as a public service.”
    “If you want to do the public a real service, why not just kill yourself?”
    (“HO HO! SOME JESTER! WHAT A FOUNT OF WIT SHE IS!!”)

    Family – Okay, all you DFC fans say it with me: “IT’S THE CAT’S ASS!!”

    @Calico (#100): AMC Pacers and the Pinto – two of the ugliest, shittiest cars since the Edsel.
    Fittingly, one of the specific Edsel models was the Pacer. I remember Ranger, Pacer, Citation, Corsair, and Villager. Probably not an exhaustive list.

  187. GrafSpee
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#106): Another reason to read Retail and Gil at Feuti’s web sites is that the images are larger than what you can get at Comics Kingdom — much easier to read.

  188. GrafSpee
    January 12th, 2013 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#19): Pros and Cons. I’ve been reading this strip for 3 or 4 years now. Not a ROFLMAO kind of strip, but I do enjoy the interaction of the characters. Too bad we have to go through the Comics Kingdom to read this one.

  189. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#169): My first car was a used 1978 Cadillac Coupe de Ville. When my sister saw it, she said, drily, “Oh good. Now you can move out of Mom and Dad’s house.”

  190. Calico
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#158):
    Funny what imagery comes about from time to time.
    I will let everyone here know ASAP should I find any items (toast, cakes, rocks, etc.) with Mary’s image – Mary Worth, that is.

  191. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    @Trillian (#94): Yugos age fast. They become thirty years old in only twelve years.

    @BlondieFan1930 (#162): He didn’t even narrate well, given that he failed to make it through the arc without losing consciousness.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#186): I don’t know which is sadder: that there were multiple sorts of Edsel or that you can list many of them by heart.

  192. tb4000
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: He’s from the school of Rex Morgan sexuality, where you don’t have it if you can help it.

  193. Anonymous
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Simply posting a humble request to never feature a Reed Hoover Pluggers ever again.

    His 15 minutes expired before they started. He deserves nothing but ignorance beyond his death and into perpetuity.

  194. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    I stumbled across this comic the other day. The artwork is not something you’d tune in specifically to see, but it’s competent, not hard to look at. I had read ten or twenty of them before it dawned on me: there are no jokes, just a weak thread connecting true facts about Gene Roddenberry’s life before Star Trek. It’s kind of like a Twinkies ad in an old comic book: makes you read it because it looks like the real thing, but isn’t. It’s creepy.

  195. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#193): Hey that argument isn’t even going to stop Josh from posting Wizaard of Id, and that guy is paid to come up with his ideas.

  196. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Indian pluggers drive Ambassadors. They also wear safari suits.

  197. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

  198. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    The second will do it. Only it’s usually fawn, off-white or grey. And the trousers aren’t so…flared.

    I ought to clarify that I neither drive an Ambassador nor have I ever owned a safari suit.

  199. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#197): I had the second one in cream doubleknit. No photos, thankfully.

  200. Aviatrix
    January 12th, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläüten! (#150): We’ve had some great storylines with Rusty in tow. The tale of buying more film memory for Rusty’s camera was a moment of innovation in modern technology for the strip. And “Rusty and the Broken Jack” was a triumph both of Mark’s ability to act like no human being, and of Dingo’s ability to spin a tale.

    P.S. Note suggested title upgrade.

  201. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#198) & @Gladly, the cross-eyed bear (#199): Oh dear. I didn’t know what a safari suit was, so I deliberately set out to find something that probably was a safari suit, plus the most ridiculous thing returned by a “safari suit” image search. And that was the second link that you both verified as the genuine article. I’m kind of glad I don’t know what an Ambassador car looks like.

  202. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#191): I’ve been a big fan of Edsels since grade school. For a long time, our bus would go by this house that had one for sale for like $50 or something. I was in junior high at the time, and $50 was simply unobtainable, period. Let alone what it would have cost to try and get it fixed, and it was years before I could drive it legally. This is as close as I have ever come to having one.

    Years ago, my friend Scott drew a button showing the grille, with the tag line “EDSEL: The Car of the Future.” I should recreate that.

  203. Droopy Says
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: How often do you see a hardened criminal reformed by the love of a woman? More often than you see a softened couch potato changed by the same power.

    Creepy Les: “Discomfort Zone” is the popular name of the First Circle of Westview. One more level and Funky (that blob is Funky, isn’t it?) will have escaped Westview–but He of the Satanic Beard will prevent an escape.

    Family Circus: That’s life in the Keane Kompound for you. The kids show the slightest trace of culture and Thel ruthlessly wipes it out.

    Pluggers: They had pick-ups and alkaline rock back in the Eocene?

  204. Droopy Says
    January 13th, 2013 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#194): This one is not only NSFBG, it could make the White House rethink that Death Star petition:

    http://www.genesjournal.com/2008/03/31/episode-9-make-up/

  205. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#204): It has a c!*#^, but does it have a joke?

  206. Aviatrix
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    MT: How widespread can a species be if a single tsunami almost wipes it out?

  207. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    slylock
    For a split second it seemed as if the bird was trying to show up Slylock by ensuring that Slylock noticed the ruler the bird has next to his crotch.

    But then I read the puzzle and I *guess* the placement of the ruler makes sense.
    I guess if anything, that boat’s ladder is well-rung.

  208. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    Sunday Alternate Universe 3G:

    Okay, in Saturday’s strip, Margo hinted that she had an idea of what Bond James Bond could do and BJB* was shown frowning.

    In Sunday’s, Margo, empty handed, says it is time for another “toast” and BJB is frowning.

    Now, given both times Margo is seemingly being frisky and BJB is not as happy as a guy would be. In Sunday’s the way Margo is shaking her hand as she’s offering to make a “toast” would make most men smile. **

    *Bond James Bond, or, if you’d like, BJ Bobby

    **men who are drinking with women who are drinking when both are presumably drunk. dangit, BJB, don’t be a buzzkill!

  209. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    blondie

    I know the Bumsteads are close with the Woodleys but what did Herb walk in on?

    Is Herb’s answer to Dagwood’s final question:

    ” It’s about ta get loud and bizzy in the hizzy, my brizzy! Just the thought of it is makin’ me dizzy! So, hurizzy up and get on over the my hizzy! Girls, catch me! I’m gonna faintizzy!”

    Ker-PLONK!

    //haha.
    Oh Comics Page! Virtual Comics Page! The joys of your subtexts delight those otherwise bored with your texts!

  210. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#209):

    That was a bold attempt at snark!

  211. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    mary worth

    Oh. Goodgod!

    It’s taken two weeks for Mary to show that she found someone to shake her cream and for like four days now she can’t just step out of a car?

    Hup hup Whaaaat?

    Doctor Jeff is comparing helping overseas children with helping dudes win cake decorating contests?!?

    How are you “helping” those kids, Jeffy? Are you sending them coupons to Baskin-Robbins for a free scoop?

  212. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail, Tiny Jeep Driverologist!

  213. tallyHO
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smif

    In the last panel, they all have the right to bear arms.

    Hyuck!

    (slap knee here. raise hand. repeat)

    //that’s all.

  214. Mr. O'Malley
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Did something happen in Luann? This plot is dribbling out like Mark Trail without the fishing rod. Can there be a pool party so we know when it’s time to move on?

  215. Master Softheart
    January 13th, 2013 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Wait, we did establish a few years ago that “Reed Hoover” is just Plugger for “Alan Smithee,” right?

  216. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:39 am [Reply]

    Can anyone understand today’s 9CL? I can’t even mock it because I don’t know wtf is going on there.

  217. Baka Gaijin
    January 13th, 2013 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#142): Exactly! Kitties get away with all kinds of shit because they’re so cute.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#152): Why did I click that? How long will it take for that memory to fade?

    @BlondieFan1930 (#162): That’s pretty much his schtick. Crossing the barrier to the spirit world, he got tied up while gods battled over MJ. When Wolverine last “schnick”ed in NYC, he got knocked out or otherwise incapacitated while someone else took out Wolverine. You get the idea.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#185): By saying that, you imply you’d voluntarily associate with Mary Worth, Luann deGroot, and Momma. E-gad.

  218. Droopy Says
    January 13th, 2013 at 5:22 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#205): If it’s spoofing Trek and Roddenberry, then the joke is that the wise and powerful aliens who are observing us are more wiseguys than wise.

  219. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    JP-I can’t wait for all the drama to come with April finds out about this.

    FW-”If you want discomfort. I have a whip back home. We can go back to my place and you can flagellate yourself.”

    MW-”It’s all that I can do. I am tired of your constant helping of people but I can’t raise my voice in protest.”

    RMMD-Some word of advice, BW. You should change your last name to something that starts with a “J” and then everyone can call you BJ.

    Archie-”I’ll see your tank and raise you one snow nuclear bomb.”

    Archie-Archie is scared because he knows that whatever Jughead makes becomes real so that is now a real tank he is staring down the barrel of.

  220. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#216):

    Don’t worry. I never know what is going on in it.

  221. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    A3G-Any excuse to drink, eh Margo? “Look two homeless guys are down there sucking each other off.” “That calls for a drink.”

  222. Liam
    January 13th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#194):

    Thanks for that link.

  223. Mr. Natural
    January 13th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Is anyone else stuck on why Rex morphs into Ronald Reagan in panel 4?

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