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I think I’ll call this post “Post about Mark Trail and Momma

Mark Trail, 1/17/13

So it turns out that literally everyone in this bass fishing storyline is going to have a painfully obvious name or nickname. “Let me tell you about my friend Bluegill. We started calling him that because he caught a bunch of Bluegill! A bluegill is a kind of fish, in case you’re wondering.” “Neat,” says Rusty, at a loss for any other way to respond to this incredibly banal anecdote. Later: “Bluegill, this is my ward Rusty! When I told him how you came to be called Bluegill, he said ‘Neat.’” “Well, isn’t that something? I think we’ll call you ‘Neat’ from now on, young man. How’d you like that nickname, Neat?” “But ‘Rusty’ is already a nickname! My real name is–” “Hush now, Neat, you’re scaring the fish with all your jibber jabber.”

Momma, 1/17/13

“Haha, yes, we’ve all had some good fun with the cross-generational misunderstanding of technological terminology, but Francis really is passed out on the sofa in parlor. I think he’s drunk, or maybe dead?”

388 responses to “I think I’ll call this post “Post about Mark Trail and Momma””

  1. Izzy
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Speaking of nicknames, Mark Trail is officially The Old Goat in my mind starting forever.

  2. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    DtM: It’s funny ’cause Mr. Wilson is literally an ogre who eats children.

    MW: Wow, John Dill’s pioneered a way to bake pre-frosted cakes. That’s quite a technique!

    RxMD: Okay, crack-shot stripper Delores needs her own strip. Now. Call it Conceal n’Carry.

  3. Ratiocinator
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    9CL: With apologies to TheDiva for stealing this running gag from her a second time, here is my best attempt at McEldowney-to-Human translation for today.
    EDDA: So you want me to talk dirty to you?
    AMOS: Well, yeah. We’re engaged, after all, so we should feel comfortable expressing ourselves to one another, saying whatever’s on our mind, sharing our secrets and fantasies, stuff like that.
    EDDA: [unclear]
    AMOS: What? I can’t hear you, I just feel your breath on my…
    AMOS: [passes out]
    EDDA: [thinking] I have deadly poison breath.

    Luann: With apologies to Josh for stealing this running gag from him a second time: “Haha, it’s funny because Luann is getting excited about something that wouldn’t help her succeed in life at all if it was what she thought it was! Hilarity!”

    Garfield: With further apologies to Josh for stealing it again: “Haha, it’s funny because Jon drank disgusting, curdled, rancid milk and, if he’s lucky, is about to vomit!”

  4. Pogo the anthropomorphic
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    MW: Obviously her therapy is not working what with that narcissistic personality disorder thing going on.

  5. NonnyMus
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Yes. Yes. But what about John Dill’s barehanded manhandling of hot pink cake in today’s Mary Worth!?

  6. KreatureFeatures
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    @NonnyMus (#5): And the subsequent cake tug-of-war between John and Mary? This is not going to end well.

  7. nescio
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    MT: Usually “old goat” is part of the phrase “horny old goat.” Bluegill appreciates irony.

  8. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Just the usual lowest common denominator (no, this isn’t a math joke) for me.

  9. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Arrest him for um um being Jewish,” sayeth the man with the Hitler style mustache.

    Crankshaft-It will be a highly addictive type of bread that will force you to rob people so you can afford to buy it.

    Crankshaft 2-Cracked wheat bread will give a whole new meaning to the word baked.

    JP-Pack my bags, secretary. I’m going to Paris

    JP 2-”One question, did you bring any of this pot back with you?”

    MT-Back in the days in our other work he was known as “Blue balls”.

    MW-”Cooking unidentifiable lumps of solid colors keeps away the demons of regret from all the lives that I’ve fucked up over the years with my meddling. Did you know that a man died because of me?”

    MW 2-Mary has created an expanding cake. Take it out of the pan and it doubles in size.

    RMMD-”I’m never happy. I bought this nearly nude style swimsuit and I haven’t worn it once yet.”

  10. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    JP: Sam, make sure you tell everyone you know that you ignored a large drug operation—and be especially sure to tell your friend the judge.

    MT: Even the deer can’t believe these names.

    MT2: The real story: “A group of us were fly-fishing, and he caught the most fish and was a real ass about it, so we all held him under water until he turned blue—so we decided to call him Bluegill!”

    FC: Jeffy’s heavy-lidded, cynical stare reveals that he knows perfectly well how to make snowballs; he also knows perfectly well how to annoy his mother with inane questions until she’s raiding Grandma’s cache of purse pills.

    MW: “I was addicted—to Pepto-Bismol, that is! It adds a lovely color, don’t you think?”

  11. nescio
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Holy crap! Momma is growing!

  12. lorne
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail’s real name is actually Frank Johnson, but one day he and his friends were hiking, and he graphically designated a particular path through the woods.
    His friends, by the way, are Snack Bringer, Bush Pooper and Name Giver.

  13. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#9):

    Take it out of the pan and it doubles in size.

    And the sexual innuendo continues.

  14. The Grandstander
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    “Rod Bassy”, “Catfish”, and now “Bluegill.’ This whole Mark Trail story keeps getting better and better.

  15. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    9 CL:

    May I PLEASE kill them now? Please?

    MT:

    Mark, you’re replying to the wrong person. The deer asked that question. The deer!

    Luann:

    Please let them go away to separate colleges far away and never ever see each other again.

    Blondie:

    Why would the cameras be running early? Why would old man whatsisname and his crew be sitting around early watching the screen? Why am I even bothering with this?

    Mary Worth:

    That…thing…is a cake? I thought it was raw liver.

    DT:

    Back iny college days, I lived ibn a place where summer temperatures would reach fifty degrees. I sympathise with Sweatbox wanting the A.C. up.

    Brewster:

    Gangnam Style.

  16. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @Little A. (#y360): Right—I think of bluegills as those fish you catch when your dad takes all four of his daughters to the lake and attempts to go fishing with them, until after a few hours when you’re all exhausted and cranky, and then you bring the 4 pathetic little fish home and expect Mom to cook them up.

  17. Hibbleton
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary’s pepto cake both causes and cures indigestion at the same time.

  18. Little Blue Bicycle
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @lorne (#12): Bluegill: “So Rusty, want to hear how Mark got his name? A group of us were hiking to a place to fly fish for blue gills, but it took hours because he stopped to urinate in the trail every fifteen minutes. So we called him Mark Trail.”

    Rusty: “Neat!”

    Mark: “I gotta go. Whee!”

    Bluegill: “His real name is Polly Uria, heh heh.”

  19. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Momma: Why is that carrot following him around in panel 1?

  20. Hibbleton
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    That was supposed to be a reply to bb,u’s #10

  21. Sock Puppet
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    “This is my ward, Rusty. We call him ‘Rusty’ because of the specific way he repeatedly injures himself, and ‘Tetanus Shot’ was too long.”

  22. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Not that I think most of these are good cake themes, mind you… (Then again, why is Mary lifting up her dress?)

  23. John
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    I’m beginning to suspect that some scenarios of Mark Trail, and perhaps a few other comics, are being written for the sole purpose of making the cut in Comics Curmudgeon. I would submit “Bluegill” as evidence.

  24. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    MT – Panel 3: “Oh, OK, ‘Bluegill’. That makes sense Mark!”

    Panel 4: “Wait, ‘Old Goat’, why do they call you that?”

    “Well, back in the day, my friends and I were going to visit A City in the Southern Part of the State, and we were all bragging about who would find the prettiest woman to go home with. Well, I saw an Old Goat by the side of the road, and I got to thinking, and … ummm … Rusty! Why are you looking at me like that?”

    “Oh, don’t worry Mark, I’ve suspected that about you for a long time. It’s just that your story is making me doubt the explanation for why your friend is called Blew Fish.”

  25. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Momma: The characters are getting into a “Who’s on First” punny misunderstanding. The cartoonist is getting a cheap play on words in the strip. …But the speech balloons are flat-out lying to us! For SHAME, speech balloons!

    MT: Who’s really writing this strip right now? George W. Bush? Regis Philbin? Dick Locher?….

    MT, meta: ….And I’m…. of course, Mibbitmaker because…. I……uh…… have….. at times…… made…… uh, drew….. ‘mibbit’…… uh…. characters…..a type of character…. in…. my….. cartoons………….
    (Um, I think I’m going to go ….lie down….. now…..)

  26. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#15): Blondie: You forgot to ask why Dag and his idiot office friends are throwing around a paper airplane, and why doesn’t the Dithers Industries conference room have a table. I don’t ask why I bother with things like these.

    They BUG me!

  27. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    21. Sock Puppet

    Because when I first saw him I was boozed out on a Rusty Nail.

  28. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh! A fair! With ferris wheels and cotton candy and inflatable jumpy things! I’m so psyched! I’m going to find new things to deep fry! A fair!

  29. John C Fremont
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MW – That “cake” looks an awful lot like Homer Simpson’s homemade Prozac.

  30. Little Blue Bicycle
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Bluegill: “Now look Rusty, here come’s Rod Bassy!”

    Rod Bassy: “Hi there young man. I’m Rod Bassy. This here is Rod N. Reel, my old frat buddy Flounder, Miss Issippi C. Food, Salmon P. Chase, and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim outfielder Steve Trout.

    Steve Trout: “Today I’m from Los ANGLE-US, heh heh.”

    Rusty: “Neat!”

  31. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Momma gets up for a second, and her douchebag son drops down like a bag of wet sand. “Move yer feet, lose yer seat!”

  32. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    26. hogenmogen

    Sanity does not find a home at JC Dithers, Inc.

    Any idea what the firm does? Anybody?

  33. Pogo the anthropomorphic
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MT: And then there was the time we went to that whore house and now we call Phil Crabcatcher.

  34. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    FW – Wait, he screams to cover the sound of him putting down the toilet lid? And you are so used to the sound of him screaming that you don’t give it a second thought? Maybe death is his best option, is what I’m saying.

    9CL – I’m beginning to suspect that the reason these two are in a perpetual state of “cat in heat”-level arousal is because Amos never actually makes it to the consummation before passing out with a case of the vapors.

    Going into the whateverth year of their relationship, what woman would still put up with a ‘man’ like that? In real life, Edda would be bonking everyone with a pulse behind Amos’ back (not just dreaming about Seth). Amos would play the role of the vibrator in her bedstand, for nights when nothing else is available.

  35. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Momma: That’s an armchair. So in panel 3 is dick-who-wears-a-hat-indoors sitting on the arm of the chair? In front of his mother?

    “You win, you win. Now get me a Pepsi.”

  36. AhClem
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    MW – Does the Santa Royale International Cake Decorating Tournament have a separate category for pink Nerf ™ cakes?

  37. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    MW: I have never before seen anyone pick up a cake by simply sticking one’s hand underneath it and lifting it up whole, and I have never before seen anyone pick up a freshly baked and steaming anything without a pot holder or an oven mitt. But then, I have never before seen a cake made out of meat, either. Ah, the beauty of nature!

  38. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#32): Dagwood is so far behind on completing the MacGruder Contract that he hasn’t realized MacGruder went belly up in the late 50s. If I had to guess what Dithers did, it would be the manufacturing and distribution of widgets. They occasionally dabble in widget futures when an arbitrage opportunity develops.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Frazz: kid has a point there.

    Lio: *blink* *blink* ooookay.

    PBS: *takes notes for later use.*

    SBp: He gets that a lot these days.

    Zits: ummmm, wow. like THAT won’t be misconstrued.

    JP: a Neddy plot would be nice. especially if Cedric the Super Butler returns.

    RwO: */facepalm @ the pun*

  40. Charterstoned
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MT – I’m still for calling Rusty “Hideous Mutant Boy.” And maybe I’ve had too much coffee this morning, but that tree behind Bluegill looks a lot like King Kong.

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . nipples that can cut glass.

  42. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    I’m still waiting to see Dill’s “technique”. He marveled at a woman putting icing on with a dull knife. Up until that point, had he been spraying it on like shotcrete?

  43. cheech wizard
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MT – So it follows that Rusty is an early model cyborg, constructed by Doc before stainless steel and similar materials were commonly available. With a face like that, we all knew he was inhuman, but we never suspected he was corroding as well.

  44. cheech wizard
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): Forget Cedric. Bring back the French whore art student. The one besides Neddy, I mean.

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    second thoughts on Love Is: you can’t motorboat when she’s built like a raft.

    (I like the first one better.)

  46. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#44): *snurk*

    true dat.

    although, Neddy in the little black dress was a wonderful thing.

  47. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#13):

    That was not supposed to be sexual innuendo. It was a simple observation of how the size of the cake changed in the two panels.

  48. LoFoMoFo
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    MW: “Yes, Mary, I taught myself that if you mix plasticizer with an emulsion of Pepto Bismol and groat flour, you can create a cake that can also be used to plug moderate pipe leaks.”

  49. cheech wizard
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    MT – “Hi Mark! Good to see you! My brother, ‘Deer in the Headlights’ should be along shortly – he’s getting his car fixed again.”

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#46): Yes, she was.

  50. Amos Snarkadder
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    @ #13 BB,U
    “I was addicted! I just had to master cake design.”
    Folks, pay close attention over the next several days weeks as John Dill shows Mary the technique he used to master cake. As Dill explains, the key is the frosting. You have to beat it just right to get it firm enough to work with it. Beat it too hard and fast and too quickly you’ll have a sticky, gooey mess on your hands. If you don’t beat it hard enough, it will just go limp. You might use a stiffener, but the contest rules don’t allow performance enhancers. You can use an electric beater, but that can be hard to control. The best way is to beat it by hand, but at his age, John’s arm gets tired. The late Mrs. Dill had the right technique, but her secret died with her. That’s where Mary comes in. Dill needs Mary to help him master cake.

  51. Mikey
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Mark: Yeah. Neat. I didn’t tell you that for the tournament we all have fish nicknames. Yours will be ‘Toadfish’.
    Rusty: Neat!

  52. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    We’ve been having fun with comic names this week. I thought that “Hogen Mogen” actually means “High and Mighty” in Dutch. If I were to go by a descriptive moniker, I’d be “Low & Useless”.

    But after further review “Hogen Mogen” really just refers to the people of Holland, and when spelled as one word in lowercase, actually refers to linen tape.

    *Sigh* My whole online life has been a lie.

    I’m also not at all affiliated with hogenmogen.com, which turns out is a brewing company. In 1997, I home brewed a batch that I called Hogen Mogen Bloody Ale. I should have copyrighted it.

  53. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#50): That’s awesome.

  54. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#51):

    And far, far away, Otto changes his name to “Sharkbait”.

  55. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#32): I believe Mr, Dithers has made reference to at least certain ones of these “contracts”, and perhaps all of them, as being related to construction. That said, I’m pretty sure we have never seen a JC Dithers construction site with employees in hard hats actually engaged in excavation or in putting up a building. I therefore suspect that the whole Dithers company is just a shell to hide a money laundering operation for organized crime. Dithers is smart enough to hire nincompoops like Dagwood who will crank out ridiculous contracts that correspond to the phony set of accounting ledgers, without ever figuring out what’s really going on.

  56. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    I used to make all kinds of cocktails…brandy with rum, vodka with grape juice sprinkled with pepper, and so on. Gave all that up along with alcohol a few years ago.

  57. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    That makes sense, seismic! Along with cents.

  58. McManx
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Mark Tail — Blue Gill: “… and let me introduce my assistants, Tackle, Red Wiggler, and Master Baiter.”

  59. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    MT — “And this is Bluegill’s son, Crappie. I remember the day we all decided to call him that…”

  60. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Momma: “A nap” vs “an app”! Ha ha! Did I tell you that I make my 6 year old laugh when I call her Winne the Pooh plate the “poop late”? Well, she laughed the first time.

  61. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#56): I’ll have mine like Rusty… Neat!

  62. word-doctor
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#47):

    I thought you were talking about Cranky, who bakes with yeast like he grills with Boy Scout Water.

    FW: Thirty two years ago, ONCE, I ask “What took so long? You fall in?” and all that fake screaming will henceforth be slobbered out. Karma’s a bitch.

  63. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    MT: And Cherry is called “Cherry” because… just because!

  64. Little Guy
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Curtis: “She tuk mah cheer!”

  65. Lenoxus
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#25): Agreed. It would be as if the routine went like this:

    “Okay, so Watt’s the name of the guy on second.”
    “Yes, what is his name.”
    “No, I’m telling you that Watt’s on second! I’m not asking you –”
    “Um, yes, I understand. The fellow on second is what.”
    “Hmm, I’m having trouble interpreting that as a hilarious misunderstanding, but I’ll do my best.”

  66. The Grandstander
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    @John (#23):

    Without doubt. No way Karen Moy’s cake design plot isn’t solely for the benefit of the Comics Curmudgeon!

  67. Droopy Says
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    I can only hope that the bass fishing contest will be held on the shores of Lake Freedom. I want to see what happens when Dick Tracy hears all those names.

  68. TheDiva
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    MT: At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before we see a villain named Evil T. Evilshorts.

    Momma: Hey, did you know apps are A Thing now? Tired long-running comic strips sure do!

  69. Digger
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    MT: Bluegill has a nickname for Mark too. It’s “Freeloading Asshole.”

  70. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MT: “…and Rod Bassy’s daughter is called ‘Largemouth’, because she went on that same fishing trip with us bunch of guys, and…”

  71. Greg
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    MT: Here’s a better anecdote: “Bluegill got his nickname because he liked to smash fish on the head repeatedly until they turned blue. Also, he liked hookers.”

  72. AdHocGrip
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Zits Not to be too pervy or anything, but I’d really like to see the missing panel #2.5 in today’s strip. You gotta figure Scott drew all 5 panels, but only dared submit the usual 4.

    OK, maybe that was a little pervy.

  73. Cthulhu Effin' Htagn
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    MT: What with all the Captain Obvious nicknames, it’s escaped everyone’s notice that Rusty seems to have turned into a girl in today’s strip. Seriously, look at her. A Cherry clone. A disturbing, disturbing Cherry clone.

  74. Verline
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Fly fishing for bluegill? Really? I’m no expert angler but I can catch bluegill with a cheap Zebco 404, a plastic bobber, and some nightcrawlers. If fact, you could probably catch bluegill with a cane pole and a bent safety pin. I thought one went fly fishing for trout (see Parker, Judge). Unless I miss my guess, these anglers are pathetic. No wonder Mark won’t take Rusty aka Neat fishing.

  75. Mikey
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Edge City: Ha Ha! Insufferable asshole Len is so stupid he can freeze to death in the middle of a city. We can only hope the strip is set in Westview.

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    a Therapy dog for bb,u.

    Science Teachers.

    Poteet has been painting the barn again.

    The Daily Puppy is NOT some form of Retriever today. It is, however, a floofy St. Bernard.

    epic corgikewt.

    gorgeous brindle cardis. *swoon*

    3 corgis and a bulldog. something for everyone!

  77. Colorado
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Why is Mary Worth flashing the cake baker in panel 1???

  78. Maltmasher
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    I’m wondering if Mark Trail can pull a whole “Weekend at Bernies” theme during this series. Rusty looks like he has his face frozen in a horrible rictus is both frames. Maybe that’s why Mark finally allowed Rusty to come fishing- he’s dead. (that or he needs the bait).

  79. Herb WOODley
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#32):

    Dither Diodes.

    Their biggest competitors are Spacely Sprockets and Cogswell Cogs.

    And their biggest partner is MacGruder MacGuffins. (That is if Bumstead gets off his lazy ass and finishies the contract and not waste all afernoon with nyotaimori.)

  80. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @Mikey (#51): Rusty: “Awwww…I wanted to be Blob Sculpin.”

  81. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Verline (#74): all true, but using ultra-light or fly fishing gear for bluegills is supposed to be quite a lot of fun. The little buggers are tough fighters on light lines. The recently retired outdoor writer for the Freep wrote many a column on the concept.

  82. Dood
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Gotta say that John Dill is looking pretty darn sponge-worthy.

  83. TheDiva
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: Amos is making Gunther in Luann look like a bastion of masculinity. Also, Brooke: next time you get into an “my arty art is not pervy, dammit!” snit, remember: you were the one who decided to devote a whole week to trying to get your daughter avatar to talk dirty.

    A3G: Damn, I’ve been in hospital beds that were more roomy and comfortable-looking than Margo’s tiny cot there.

    C’shaft: Actually, “cracked wheat” refers not to a specific type of plant but to…oh the Hell with it, it’s your lousy joke and who plants grain crops in a small suburban garden anyway?

    FW: So, instead of asking “is everything okay?” like a normal person would on hearing a loud noise in another part of the house, she…assumes her husband is pretending to drop the toilet seat on his junk? Or something? Whatever–pain, misery, lingering death, right on schedule.

    Luann: Quill obviously isn’t attracted to her for her mind. Or her body. Or her talent. Or her personality. Or…oh who cares, at least it isn’t Luann getting voyeuristic jollies off of Gunther and Rosa studying in the library.

    MW: “Specifically, taking steaming oven-hot cakes from their pans with my bare hands helped dull my crippling emotional pain.”

    PBS: Not bad, but it doesn’t beat this gem from my former pastor:
    “Good afternoon, may we talk with you for a moment about Jesus Christ?”
    “Sure, what do you want to know?”

    Pibgorn: And Overdrawn at the Memory Bank suddenly has competition for worst use of Casablanca motifs.

    Pluggers don’t have AAA, or a cell phone to call them on.

    SM: “Sorry, sir, I can’t arrest stupidity.”

  84. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Come to think of it, we should be the last people to be making fun of nicknames.

  85. Austria
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    FW: Those screams weren’t fake. It’s the Funkyverse. When the toilet seat falls, it ALWAYS hits its target.

    MT: So if Bluegill got his name from catching a whole bunch of bluegill, how’d Rusty get his name…? Inquiring minds want to know!

    Zits: Talk about getting crap past the radar.

  86. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    Bluegill: You old goat, how’s my favorite writer?

    MT: Fine, Bluegill! How’s my favorite guide? Oh, and let me introduce you to this young man we call Left.under.a.car.to.die.while.the.tide.came.in!

  87. Pak-Man
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Mama: Well shoot. We finished the joke in 2 panels. Let’s use panel 3 to retcon the joke!

  88. Gringo
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FW: Why not be done with it and just rename the strip Les Mooreables?

  89. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @Herb WOODley (#79): Diodes are real things. My father used to make them before he retired. I’ve seen ‘em. Real.

  90. Dood
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    “How’s my favorite outdoor writer?” “Fine, Bluegill, how’s my favorite guide?” Is that what passes for trading pointed barbs in the Trailverse?

  91. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    MT – “Now I will introduce you to our boat pilot for the fishing derby, he is retired NASCAR driver Dick Trickle!”
    “HOW did he get that name? It has nothing to do with stock car racing!”
    “YOU try spending four hours in a car without a pee break and I am sure you will have answered your own question.”

  92. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    FW: … and when the screaming stopped, I realized that he may have entered that sweet embrace of death, leaving me alone with my misery in this god-foresaken hell-town. So I rushed him off to this hospital, which will keep him alive in exteme pain indefinitely at ruinous cost… Can one of you arrange to “trip” over the plug?

  93. Anondod
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Mark Trail, you old goat… how’s my favorite outdoor writer? Do you know how he earned that name? No, not “old goat”, “Mark Trail”. There was this one time when we were out fishing and he marked the trail back to the car! And I suppose you are called “Rusty” because of your underpants? Haha!

  94. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#91): The guy responsible for reviewing the policy on gays in the military used to be Dick Armey.

  95. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    MW-”Trying to get all those people to stop squeezing Charmin drove me so mad that I had to squeeze the neck of a person that I caught squeezing Charmin until he turned blue and stopped breathing. After my time in jail I changed my name and moved out here and took up cake baking.”

    DT-Sweatbox reminds me of a character from George R.R. Martin’s “Wild Card” series who is constantly hot.

    Gil Thorp-”All I heard was six feet tall. I like my women tall.”

  96. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MT – “….and the name of the derby’s oficial fishing boat is, “Willit Run”.

  97. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#94): Right, so what’s he called now?

    Arot Gaye.

  98. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    MT-”How’s my favorite guide? Are you still leading gullible tourists from the city out into the middle of nowhere where you can kill and rob them?”

  99. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#97): I meant to say “Arnot Gaye”

  100. Gringo
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Has anyone considered the crossover possibility that Mr. Dill is the father of Dill from Cul de Sac? Because it would explain a lot about poor l’il Dill.

  101. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Momma-Has Momma been spending some time with Crankshaft lately?

  102. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#3): I dont’ know why, be the strips where Jon is all hair-up, tongue-out and goggle-eyed cracked me up. They’re the only Garfields that do.

    @NonnyMus (#5):

    But what about John Dill’s barehanded manhandling of hot pink cake…!?

    That’s one of his techniques.

    @The Grandstander (#14) & @Sequitur (#63): Of course, Cherry’s nickname back at FistFishing U. was Soggy Clam.

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#15):

    That…thing…is a cake? I thought it was raw liver.

    Add a few sculpted-fondant vultures, and voila! BEAUTY OF NATURE!

    @seismic-2 (#37):

    …and I have never before seen anyone pick up a freshly baked and steaming anything without a pot holder or an oven mitt.

    Back when he was the assistant night hotel manager, John Dill whiled away the hours holding his hand over a lit candle.

    MW: I just want to know who taught John Dill to bake cakes with uncut heroin.

  103. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    3G – Major gaffe for Margo! It seems that when she’s really tired, she forgets which hair color (and thus which character) she’s talking to.

    Snuffy – In Hootin’ Holler, they cook their Radio Suppers in a wind-up oven. The rich ones use treadmill power from a mule with a carrot dangled in front of it from a string on a stick.

    Archie – I keep looking at young women in the backgrounds of panels, wondering if I’m seeing an early appearance of Cammi. I miss the living Henry Scarpelli.

    9 – So Edda likes to chow down on tuna and garlic, eh?

  104. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Gil – The numbers are a real help in telling who’s who in this strip. I wonder if they could be persuaded to start numbering the characters in Apartment 3-G.

    Herb – Interesting to see how Jamaal opens the bottle in panel two. Apparently, that shnozz of his is good for something after all. In other news, it’s kind of disturbing how his mouth cuts through his mustache when it wants to.

    love was… – Is he alive, or dead, or in some kind of superstate where he’s neither and both? He’s Kim Schrödinger’s hubby!

  105. Mardou Fox
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait until Gunsy McBuck and Snaresy Rabbit show up in Mark Trail!

  106. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MT – “Rusty, I would like to introduce you to the panel of judges for this fishing tournament. Claude Balls, Ben Dover, Wilma Handue, Rosie Palm, Dick Gazinya and his brother Peter.”
    “WOW! Thanks for bringing me here, Mark. I’m having NEAT fun meeting all of these NEAT people with these NEAT names!”
    “Yeah, Rusty, but just a word of warning. Be sure to turn your head away if you see Dick Gazinya heading towards Ben Dover!”

  107. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Momma – A gag that only works as words written on paper and which fails utterly if you try to imagine it actually happening.

    Family – Today’s strip also doubles as grown-up Jeffy’s future vocation. Only the colorists will be instructed to make the stuff on the shovel brown.

  108. Bill
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL: “BLUEGILL? HOW’D HE GET THAT NAME?” asks the inquisitive doe. You should have been here yesterday Mz. Doe, when we heard “tale” of Rod Cast! (or was it Rod Fly; WHATEVER! Who can keep track of such run-amok hilarity?)

    Can anybody concentrate on anything other than “What is the next clever(?) name Jack Elrod (or is it Jack Flyrod?) will come up with?!”

  109. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    MT-In that second panel it is Rusty who was fishing with Bluegill when the nickname was made.

  110. Dr. P and the Women
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT: “And here’s my ward Rusty! We call him ‘Rusty’ because he’s usually covered in filth and is dead on the outside. Seriously, just look at his monstrous eyes!”

  111. Bill
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL: Mark calls his guide “Bluegill”. Bluegill calls Mark an “old goat”! Madcap chaos has been confirmed!

  112. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    FC-No, but she can show you how to make eight balls and where to sell them.

  113. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    MT-”I can’t call you an old son of a bitch, Mark, and beat the living shit out of you for running off my business like you did because this is a family paper.”

  114. Alter Ego
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    love is… thinking about the dumb sap you ripped off this cool picture frame from.

  115. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#52): Ah, I finally found where “Hogen Mogen” refers to “High and Mighty”, albeit “used humorously or contemptuously of a person in power.”

  116. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FW – I’m still baffled here. He would always fake a scream when the toilet seat fell, as if… what? Is he screaming as a joke in some way, or is he masking the sound of the toilet seat falling, or is it just the lot of Funky characters to scream in terror upon encountering mundane triggers such as lowering the toilet seat?

    @TheDiva (#83): Re: “Cracked Weat”

    OK, I feel better that you noticed this, too. I thought that “cracked” wheat referred to that critical point in the development of agriculture when strains of wheat evolved that all “cracked” at the same time, i.e. were ready to break apart and fall to the ground, so that the domesticated wheat did a good part of the work in harvesting itself. So being “cracked” refers to a stage in its growth, not a specific strain of wheat.

    Re: 9CL

    Not only is Edda a Daugter Avatar, but Amos is an Author Avatar. Inscestuous overtones aside (how many times will I have to use that phrase today?), it is illuminating that he chooses to portray Amos as perpetually overwhelmed in this way.

  117. Bill
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL: OH WOW! Until I read previous posts, I didn’t even realize Rusty Nuts was lurking in the lower left corner of the third panel!!! (QUICK! Somebody crush him like a spider spinning a web in a corner of the hall closet!

  118. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Honest to gosh, I checked the strips (ahem) for the past few days, and it IS her dress. So WTF is she doing with it?

  119. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#106): I once dated Rosie Palm. Hands down, she was the best. She handily beat the competition. Then things got out of hand. She broke it off. I got a grip. Now I hold myself steady.

  120. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @Gringo (#100): And Mary is definately an old, far less likable buttinsky version of Alice Otterloop.

  121. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#83):

    Cranshaft-I was hoping that “cracked wheat” would be some hybridization of crack and wheat.

  122. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Darkgate – It looks like Crankshaft was reset and is stuck again. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the crap moving.

  123. Red Greenback
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Momma (missing 4th panel):
    “Of course I do… and don’t call me Ewen.”

  124. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#121):

    Cranshaft-I was hoping that “cracked wheat” would be some hybridization of crack and wheat.

    Tho’ at Crank’s age, he’d be better off with Crack’n Oat Bran.

  125. Bill
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL (EPILOGUE?): Now this is really creepy! I only just now noticed the cold, stiff, grey ghost of Rusty Retard, staring blindly ahead and through Mark, in the first panel!

  126. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#98): “How’s my favorite guide? Are you still leading gullible tourists out into the middle of nowhere where you can kill and rob them?”

    “Nah, I promise them a great adventure, but once we get deep into Lost Forest I abandon them and run off to go on my own adventure. That is unless they happen to be from UPS. If they are, I tie them to tree stumps along the river bank!”
    “I can vouch for the first part of Mark’s answer, Mister Bluefin”
    “That’s BLUEGILL, kid, NOT Bluefin! And DON’T you forget it!”

  127. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    MT-And as payment for letting me stay here with you I’ve brought you this young ‘boy’ for you to do what you want with it.

  128. Mibbitmaker
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    BBlues: She should go to a kiddie (or teeny-bopper) concert. She certainly has the bratty eye roll down pat.

    9CL: Burbers, amIrite, Brooke?

    Lio: The Whole Foods Furniture Store.

    MW: And after someone eats Mary’s cooking, they’ll NEED therapy!

    Glibporn: Dopey movie parody…. ridiculous dialogue…. topless female…. Yep, it’s a porno, alright.

    S-M: NOW we know why JJJ has the mustache of a dictator!

  129. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#126): Bluefin, eh. Maybe they’ll take along their radio operator, Tuna Dial.

  130. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    …or Black Marlin. No, no black people in Mark Trail. I forgot.

  131. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Luann:

    (link to strip = http://assets.amuniversal.com/2c0323d03b4701300c50001dd8b71c47?width=900.0)

    Luann’s goal in life is to be a carny.

    - yeff

  132. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    MT – No comments today regarding panel #1 being black and white with panel’s #2 & 3 being in full technicolor? Also in panel #1, the roof on Mark’s 1965 Dodge Travelall appears to be drawn at least 18″ taller than it is in panel #2. …Explain THAT one, Jackelrod!

  133. Terryfic
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    A3G – Margo sleeps on a gurney?

  134. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#44):

    Bring back the French whore art student. The one besides Neddy, I mean.

    That’s Sociology Hooker you’re talking about. Art Hooker is a Mark Trail character.

  135. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn – So far, the Djinn has exchanged fluids with the Genie/Video Game Avatar, lustfully licked Barbara Eden’s image on the computer monitor, lovingly embraced the Mermaid … and now we learn that he is secrety pining away for the … fairy whatever thing … whose vagina he accidentally collided with (don’t ask). Hell, if you want to snap him out of his funk, just buy him a fleshlight, I’m sure that within minutes he will be madly in love with that.

  136. endless sky
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#116): FW: Uh, not to get too graphic here, but when the toilet seat would accidentally fall while he was doing #1, he would fake-scream and pretend that he had been hit. This passes for humor in the Funkyverse. Would also work as a Pluggers joke.

  137. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    MT – “Say, Mister Bluegill, since you got that NEAT nickname by catching a shit load of Bulegill maybe you could share with us what the best means of catching Bluegiill is.”
    “I will do better than that, Rusty. I will let you ask the lady who taught me how to catch them. She is standing right over there. …Annette? Will you please come over here and tell this kid HOW to catch Bluegill?

  138. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    MT – “It seems everyone from the southern part of the state has turned out for this fishing tournament, Rust. Why, even the guy who does this comic strip is here! …Rusty, I would like you to meet your creator, Jack Dipwad.”

  139. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MT: So, did “Doc” get his name because of his proficiency in Word?

  140. UncleJeff
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#32): JC Dithers produces contracts.
    Contracts for what? That’s part of the mystery that makes “Blondie” a literally timeless comic strip.
    (Your question reminds me of my favorite line from “Friends” where Joey, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe and Monica were having a trivia contest and the one question that stumped all of them was: “What does Chandler Bing do for a living?”)

  141. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    MT – “Mark Trail, you old goat, HOW’S Cherry and Doc?”
    “Fine, Bluegill, just fine!”
    “Say, Mark, HOW did your father-in-law get the nickname, ‘Doc’ anyway?”
    “The day he earned his PHD he informed Cherry and I that we must call him ‘Doc’ from now on, Bluegill. Yes, Back in the day Doc was quite the brilliant scientist, but lately he just sits around constantly shouting that Rusty is probably outside!”

  142. Mardou Fox
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    It’s going to be great when we finally get to the end of the MT story and learn that Rod Bassy was merely an alias. The villain’s real name is, of course, Cheatsalot A. Tournaments.

  143. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#140):

    JC Dithers produces contracts.
    Contracts for what?

    I think that deep down we all know. Why else would Dagwood famished and exhausted every time we see him time if he hadn’t just spent the last three nights in a nondescript car, slamming coffee and pissing in a bottle while waiting for Jimmy “The Bruiser” Galliano’s bodyguards to nod off.

  144. Joshua
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Momma: The joke here is structured all wrong. Francis is lazy, so it makes sense that he would want to take a nap. It also makes sense that he would want to take advantage of the potential confusion between “a nap” and “an app.” But here Momma is telling Thomas that the reason Francis is sleeping is that he bought a cell phone, which doesn’t make any sense.

    A joke like this would work much better in animation, where the dialogue is spoken rather than being written out.

    Momma: “Are you going to look for a job this afternoon, Francis?”
    Francis: “Actually, I’m having problems with my cell phone. I think I need [anap]!” (last two words pronounced ambiguously)
    Momma: “Well, go ahead, do what you have to do.”
    Later:
    Thomas: “Momma, where’s Francis?”
    Momma: “I think he’s doing something with his cell phone. He said he needed an app.”
    Cut to:
    Thomas finds Francis sleeping.
    Francis (wakes up): “Hey, I told Momma I needed a nap, and she said to go ahead.”

  145. LUJBEM FEJF
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    MT- “Hey there Bluegill!” “Hey there Circle Jerk!” “Neat!”

  146. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @endless sky (#136): when the toilet seat would accidentally fall while he was doing #1, he would fake-scream and pretend that he had been hit

    Is that really the intended joke in the strip?

    Was he 3 feet tall, so that this would be an issue where his junk was in the line of fire? Did he do this joke all the time? And his wife never once plunged a kitchen knife into his chest?

  147. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    MT – “Okay, Rusty. I have a huge surprise for you. I want you to meet my old friend FLIPPER!”
    “NEAT! Please tell me, Mark. HOW did your friend get the neat name of ‘Flipper’? Did he snag a bunch of silly Dolphins in his fishing nets, is he a Japanese commercial Dolphin fisherman? Is he? Huh, huh, Mark? IS he? I want to hear all of the gory details!”
    “Um, he IS a Dolphin, Rusty. …(Note to self, have Cherry schedule eye exam for mutant kid).”

  148. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

  149. Arabella
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    FW: Didn’t they do the “fake scream with sound of toilet lid falling” joke in Pickles? It would be in character for Earl.

    BC: OK, I laughed. Does that make me a Bad Person?

    Sally F: Is this a menopause arc coming up?

  150. word-doctor
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#146):

    I kind of thought he’d let it fall and scream to let her know that leaving the lid down for her was emasculating. Or to make her think he’d had a stroke. Really.

  151. Comrade Denny (Is A Sick Bastard)
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#149):

    Sally F: Is this a menopause arc coming up?

    She seems a little young for that to be the case. It could be a pop-culture-references-are-not-a-cure-for-crippling-depression arc or two-actual-adults-are-required-for-a-successful-marriage arc. Though for a nice change of pace, I wouldn’t turn my nose up at a Ted-Forth-will-fuck-you-happy arc.

  152. endless sky
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#146): FW: Maybe they have the elongated seat rather than the round. And the new higher toilets. If Ann had been smart, she would have gotten those seats with the opening in the front like those in public rest rooms. Then he would have had to stop making that “joke.” But… if the joke wasn’t a regular thing, she wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. I’ve wasted too much time thinking about this.

  153. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean is telling us that failure to endlessly repeat a stupid joke is cause for alarm. Clumsiest self-justification I ever saw.

  154. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Archie-Jughead with a woman? That really is a nightmare.

  155. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    FW: In Westview they’re all crawing around on the bathroom floor from puking in the toilet after all that radition treatment for cancer.

    Lids can hit the head.

  156. odinthor
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    #83. TheDiva.

    [...] and who plants grain crops in a small suburban garden anyway?

    Um . . . [raises hand]. In one of my more radical horticultural moments, I planted two rather large front yard flower beds in Black Tip Wheat, with an edging of Bull’s Blood Beets. It looked very stylish; but many neighbors thought I had completely lost my mind. Huh! I thought that had been established long ago.

  157. endless sky
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#149): SF: It’s not menopause; Sally has Low-T.

  158. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#153):

    So does that mean that if Les fails to make a horrible pun when the opportunity arises, someone should call 911?

    “Oh, wait. One side of his face is scrunched up into a kind of leering smirk. He’s not having a stroke, he’s fine.”

  159. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Brewster Rockit: The left half of Dr. Mel’s body disappeared! He seems to have acquired the ability to pass through walls. Or walls have acquired the ability to pass through him.

    // Weird. Obviously a colorist error. But this strip usually doesn’t make mistakes like that.

    DT: … a seventy year old murder confession. That’s why I called you immediately. Because the perp could die at any minute?

    Frazz: Damn you to hell, Mallett! // I’m not laughing, I just swallowed some coffee wrong.

    Love is…: Saving the last two bullets when the zombie hordes attack.

    PBS: (spiritual quest, part 1) What a coincidence! (And I’m an ordained minister — on the Internet!)

    Piranha Club: (spiritual quest, part 2) I was considering Grelzekian Bat Worship. Can you drink lots of beer and punch people?

    TASM: That’s Pulitzer level publishing genius right there. “You supply the pictures. I’ll supply the war!”

  160. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Mutt & Jeff: Today’s full script:

    Mutt and Jeff are in a car. Jeff is driving.

    JEFF: Oh. Traffic in the streets is really terrible today! Before it was easy, but now there are cars going everywhere!
    MUTT: And have you only noticed it now?
    JEFF: Yes. I have just put on these new eyeglasses!

    // Fess up, Muffaroo. You wrote that, didn’t you?
    //// Can you sell me some pot?

  161. Brock Twist
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow: we meet Gil, who puts the lie to the story behind Bluegill’s name.

  162. Downpuppy, Wondering
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    In A3G, why is Margo saying goodnight to the drummer for Lust & Violence?

  163. astroboy
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    MT – For the remainder of this storyline, Mark Trail will be known as “A. Sexual.”

  164. Doctor Handsome
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Mark caught the most old goats. And killed the best outdoor writers.

  165. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#156): coooool!

  166. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-I’ve got a charge. Spiderman was involved in a seventy year old murder.

  167. Doctor Handsome
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    “Sleeping in the daytime?! Yeah right, you senile dingbat. He obviously meant ‘app,’ because your ‘nap’ thing is a baffling, nonsensical concept. Sheesh, old people, amirite?” *eyeroll*

  168. Dood
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    “Fine, Mark, how’s my favorite Woods and Wildlife centerfold model, Kelly Welly?”

  169. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    So does Thomas only ever visit Momma right after barbershop quartet practice, or does he wear that hat wherever he goes?

  170. cheech wizard
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#134): Wasn’t she also taking art classes or started out as an art student? I thought that was the whole gag – I seem to recall a panel of Neddy looking mortified.

  171. Carlye
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Good thing for him that he didn’t catch a bunch of crappies!

  172. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 17th, 2013 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    Hagar: I always figured Hagar was a pretty conservative sort, but apparently he’s joined the Occupy movement? Perhaps yet another attempt by Browne/Walker to be “current” by referencing something semi-popular about a year and a half ago?

    Agnes: Sage advice for our good friend Mr. Batiuk!

  173. Dood
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    “So, you been fisting any justice lately?”

  174. Little A.
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @Verline (#74): As I said early this morning: MT: Fly fishing for bluegills? Bluegills are related to sunfish, you catch them with little pieces of worms or little dough balls, with rod and reel, or even with a piece of string tied to a pole — at least, that’s how we caught them when I was a kid. Who the hell ever heard of fly fishing for bluegills?

    What b.s.

  175. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#170):

    I’m pretty sure she was just a walk-on who offered to help Neddy and Abbey during their stroll down the Rue St. Denis, right before their encounter with les deux punques. I should remember better – it was only a couple weeks ago, in March, 2007.

  176. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    I feel much better now. I just passed a Ripley’s!

    West Salem High School, Oregon, play their home football games ON BLACK TURF!

    Now we know where Hi and Lois takes place.

  177. Northernlurker
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    MT: didn’t Rod Bassey once have a big band?

  178. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Hey there, Baka Gaijin! Check out Six Chix. She’s eating a spotted dick!

  179. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#178): there’s the missing panel from Zits that we were looking for. . . .

  181. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    MT: How awesome it would have been if Bluegill had been named after the the very same series of nuclear tests that spawned Rusty. For too awesome for Mark Trail, obviously.

  182. Fashion Police
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    We can only hope that Mark Trail and his bass-fishing buddies somehow encounter the ghost of the legendary former House of Representatives chief doorkeeper Fishbait Miller.

  183. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    FC: Yo, Jeffy. Just strip out of your pants and underwear and sit in a snowbank for a while.

  184. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @AhClem (#36):

    Would the goal for this “NERF ™ cake” be to have a bunch of big, burley guys run out of nowhere and pile on top of the cake as if they were recovering a fumbled football?

    You know, to convince the judges that it was a good decorated cake, good enough to draw a crowd?

    //of course this might lead to Mary Worth getting indignant. Later she would tell and re-tell the story of that day to every person she meets by saying how rude it was that those men ran in and jumped onto the cake.

    “They did so without saying a word, nary a peep. They just ran in like a hungry mob and jumped on poor John’s dessert. They could have at least said something.
    After all, there’s always room for “Hello”!

  185. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

  186. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#182): I’m holding out for the ghost of Huey “Kingfish” Long

  187. Fashion Police
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    We are positively salivating over the prospect of getting re-acquainted with our favorite bohemian wild child, Miss Neddy Spencer – even if it postpones our enjoyment of a sumptuous Parker wedding. One wonders what sort of ne’er-do-well fashionista she has taken under her wing this time.

  188. yo go re
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    It must be a long drive if Mark and Rusty set out way back in black and white times…

  189. Fashion Police
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Frank Bolle has finally crossed the line. There is no way on God’s earth that Miss Magee’s lavishly appointed boudoir contains anything less than a king-size bed.

  190. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    FW: The only reason that a toilet seat would fall on its own is a fuzzy cover. Besides TMI, it’s one more reason that Westview lives in misery and squalor.

  191. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Cthulhu Effin’ Htagn (#73):

    Well….as long as it is Rusty choosing to make the change and not Doc forcing it by way of surreptious experiments (as Doc is probably wont to do), whatever will be will change and will continue to be.

    I’ll support Rusty changing from an awkward looking puppet boy to a maturing, temporarily awkward, looking tomboy. If Elrod wants this to go that way, so be it.

    If this is the case then I just hope I’m wrong and this fish fornication scenario is not the case.

  192. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#189): The beds in A3G have been shown before, and are stunningly small and narrow, clearly designed for single occupancy only.

    I can only draw the conclusion that Margo is into oral.

  193. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#189): And if by “lavishly appointed”, you mean “filled with some boxy nightstands and that ubiquitous green/black painting”.

    On the other hand, affording Manhattan rent with no discernable income is quite a feat.

  194. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#190):

    I used to have a toilet seat with a fuzzy cover. It was such a pain keeping it on the lid that eventually, I had to get rid of it. I think it had anger management issues, as it seemed to always be pissed off.

  195. Jasper
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    MT- Too late for the “Old Goat” comments.

    Rusty, I’d like you to meet my wife, Pole Sucker and my daughters Blow Fish and Red Snapper. Mark, is your wife still called Cherry?

    Rusty seems to be morphing into a female in panel three. Just how old is he anyway. I’m 40 and still can’t grow sideburns the likes of his.

    And that is some windshield in panel 1. Holly molly! Its a good thing its not raining because that would take some wiper, that doesn’t appear to exist, to clear that windshield

  196. Phred22
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: Must be lots of readers in terrible suspense whether Ron Bassy is a crook who’s found a way to cheat at fishing or a nice guy with a jealous rival out to get him. Oh well, the character’s hairiness should tell the tale. Maybe Ron’s enemy is called Crappie.

  197. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#193):

    On the other hand, affording Manhattan rent with no discernable income is quite a feat.

    In a long-ago, pre-Shulock, ill-advised, Judge Parkeresque story, the girls came to own the building. So my guess is they’re not hurting.

    The most stunning thing about Margo’s bedroom (other than that I get to gaze into Margo’s bedroom!!!) is the lack of, um, equipment. My working hypothesis will be that she sprung for custom built-ins.

  198. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: That’s not Dill’s right hand in panel 1. It’s a disembodied arm rising from the steam of the hell cake. Should we be afraid?

    Considering Mary Worth‘s track record of dealing with any real danger in the least interesting way possible, I’d have to say that if that arm belonged to the Prince of Darkness himself, out to posess our Mr. Dill in a sinister attempt to turn the city of Santa Royale to sin through culinary temptation, MW would turn into a series of characters turning it down due to making New Year’s resolutions to drop a few pounds. Woo. Hoo.

  199. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#198):

    MW would turn into a series of characters turning it down due to making New Year’s resolutions to drop a few pounds.

    You’re forgetting that Wilbur Weston lives there.

  200. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#197): More recently, it’s been revealed that the building is a co-op, owned by all the tenants, with a governing board. It’s not like she’s collecting rent from Professor Pappapoopypants.

  201. Jasper
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    MW- Nothing like a little cake baking therapy to relieve the stress of hotel management and meddling.

    RMMD- I thought June showered and changed a couple of weeks (or months) ago. I can’t help but entertain and enjoy the the thought of her wandering around the hotel in a top and her panties.
    “bullets” “that thing” “crack” “concealed” “girl scout” this is getting downright exciting, a little girl on girl action with June and Delores.

    MT- I’m no seasoned angler but who the hell fly fishes for bluegill.

    Howd’ he get the name Bluegill?
    Well, we were . . . oh, wait a minute, there’s my buddy Gill over there.

  202. Shrug, or One of His Chums
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#y293):

    “I think I mentioned something about how the names of these upcoming characters were like those of pro wrestlers”

    There used to be wrestlers named Ron Bass, Don Bass and Sam Bass, but I don’t believe any of them played up the fish/fishing connection.

    Wrestlerwise, I think of “Rod Bassy” as more in the vein of Shark Boy:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shark_Boy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI37V4Cqesg

    etc

  203. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#194): Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

    Ha!

  204. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#197): The “equipment” is hidden in wall panels.

  205. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#178): She may be eating a spotted dick but that ain’t no English dessert. Lorena Bobbitt is our guest artist, no?

  206. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    drat. saw a “Latest Headline” about ‘New insights into anatomy of ancient tentacled creature’ but sadly, it wasn’t about C’thulhu or anything else with a taste for schoolgirls.

    phooey.

  207. Dartpaw86
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    The better question is “How can you talk Demon Deer!?”

  208. Jasper
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    MT- Rusty, you’ll be bunking with Cornhole Cal and Poopchute.

  209. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper (#208): “And don’t worry about supervision, Mark. Father Paddy O’File will be looking after them.”

    “Superwhatsion?”

  210. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    MW-I’ve heard of white cakes, chocolate cakes, and yellow cakes but never a pink cake. Did they mix the frosting in with the batter?

    A3G-Eric Darling? Wasn’t that a character in Blackadder Goes Forth?

    Beetle Bailey-Now we just need to turn these tanks around.

  211. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, or One of His Chums (#202): from the wiki article: “Shark Boy wrestled at the second annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show, defeating Matt Stryker, Tarek the Great and Chip Fairway

    ye godz.

  212. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: In a tribute to the Beauty of Nature, John Dill has attempted to make a sponge cake from an actual sponge. No wonder it’s smoking after 30 seconds in the oven.

    DT: “Yes, Detective Tracy, in this 70-year-old manuscript one of the Detainees in the Internment Camp admits to killing one of the guards. He says he had help from someone on the outside, a vigilantee in a costume of purple tights and blue-and-white striped briefs who called himself Kit Walker. It’s too bad he’s not longer around to be prosecuted!”

  213. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    MT-”And during which one of your merry madcap adventures was this? Was this one of the times that you brushed me off?”

  214. Red Greenback
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    There was another fellow we started calling Bonefish. I’ll tell you about how he earned that name when you are old enough and more exposed to life’s brutality.

  215. Dartpaw86
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke we assumed was the most unholy creature in the multiverse, yet not even he is granted the privilege of the speech, just barks and growls. This deer not only can talk, but knows of conversations that he obviously shouldn’t hear from that distance. He knew Rusty would ask that question, so he was echoing that sentence seconds after Rusty asked that. He knows all, he sees all. Someday he shall find Rusty, steal his soul and become the new Rusty with Mark none the wiser.

  216. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    MW-”It was therapeutic for me to do this on the side. It was either bake a cake or go to jail for killing Manuel.”

    MW 2-With the wacky hijinks that go with running a hotel I’m surprised that Dill found time to bake cakes.

  217. The good ship thetis
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Somewhat comics related, if only on the same page: Dear Abby has died.

  218. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    MW: You like cooking, SO DO I! Now let’s expose our wrinkly naughty bits.

    Luann: Careers for high school graduates? In this market? I don’t know what Delta is really excited about unless she wants to enlist in the military or go straight to WeenieWorld.

  219. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @The good ship thetis (#217): Thanks. Just tonight I was reading her column, the first time in ages. Eerie coincidence.

  220. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”I’m sorry sir but you are New York City newspaper editor and this is Las Vegas. You don’t have any jurisdiction here.”

    Spiderman 2-”Yeah that first one. Arrest him for failing to be killed.”

  221. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @The good ship thetis (#217): If all future letters asking for advice are answered by rambling manifestos about the meaning of life and are filled with quotes from Albert Camus, then I think we shall know who has taken her place.

  222. Dennis Jimenez
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    MT – Rusty – Bluegill! How’d he ever get a name like that? Mark – Funny you should ask, Cowpie….

    Momma – It’s French Momma – it’s prounced Toy-Lay – an’ he’s takin’ a shit….

  223. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#218):

    Well Weeine World is looking for a cashier and a manager.

  224. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#223): Which actually raises a question I have been having for a while, did Ann Eiffel get fired or leave? That was never clear.

  225. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper (#208): poor Rusty. he was hoping for Big Fat Fannie.

  226. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

  227. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#224): It’s a mystery. It’s supposed to keep you on tenterhooks until the author returns to this storyline. Tenterhooks.

  228. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    MT-”This is Rusty. He’s called ‘Rusty’ because like a rusty gate he’s always squeaking.”

    MT 2-”This is Rusty. His full name is Rusty Trombone. He’s got this trombone that is very rusty but he just loves playing that thing.”

  229. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#224):

    I’m working on the theory that TJ killed her and stuffed her body in the trunk of his car.

  230. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#227): Mysteries shmysteries. I bet TJ left a giant deuce on the counter and that’s why she was shrieking “You haven’t heard the last from me!”

    Also, mental image of the day: Mary Worth naked. Discuss.

  231. Peanut Gallery
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – If this were a proper cartoon, June would pop those bullets into her mouth, chew vigorously, and proceed to adorn the opposite wall with a patriotic “1776″ done in bullet-pocks.

  232. Red Greenback
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    “Hi, Momma! Where’s Francis?”

    “Head east and hang a left at Spain.”

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#226): Ouch!

  233. groddeck
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    9CL- With all of his vaunted erudition and attention to detail, McEldowney still misspelled “horrid” in the second panel.

  234. Perky Bird
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Judging by the shape and color of Mr. Dill’s cake in panel 1, I still don’t think we can rule out the eventual appearance of shredded coconut public hair in his finished product.

  235. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    OK. Now I feel bad.
    I’ve been making fun of “Mary Worth” consistently while constantly ignoring the daily strip.

    After looking at what they’ve done, and seeing today’s strip, well, one of the jokey scenarios is being played out:

    The recreation of the scene from the movie “Ghost” with the potter’s wheel.

    hoo hoo hoooo!

    I can’t remember if I had Wilbur walk by staring at them while nekkid and eating a sammich but the kitchen in the strip looks big enough to accommodate visitors and spectators.

  236. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @The good ship thetis (#217):

    Somewhat comics related, if only on the same page: Dear Abby has died.

    It’s worth noting that Pauline Friedman Phillips (Dear Abby) was nicknamed “Popo” as a child:

    http://d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net/n_iv/600/834485.jpg

    ~ NSF Baka Gaijin ~

    And yes, it’s a damn shame Poppo couldn’t help “liking” kids!

  237. Shrug, Who Could Be All Wet About This Theory
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#139):

    “MT: So, did “Doc” get his name because of his proficiency in Word?”

    I always assumed “Doc” was short for “Dock,” and that he got that name because even Mark figured that all he was good for being dumped in the water for people to stand on.

  238. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    MW-Why is baking therapeutic for these people? What have they done and do that they can only relax with baking?

    MW 2-”Where does anyone learn to bake? In college. Have you ever waked and baked, Mary?”

  239. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, or One of His Chums (#202):

    If you haven’t seen the movie Cabin Boy, this will go right over your head. There is a character in that movie that is half-shark and half-man. He’s hilarious. In fact, if you haven’t seen the movie, the key to enjoying the hell out of it is to fast forward through the first 20 minutes and start from the time when the main character gets to the ship. That’s when it becomes pretty funny– part of the reason why may be because it is considered to be one of the worst movies ever. So, what you see isn’t even close to what you expect.
    That first 20 minutes is torture; the rest is worth at least catching on cable, once, at least in part.

    After the bad setup for the movie what results is just one weird character and situation after another. There are parts that are like those old Jason and the Argonauts movies–swords and sandals with stop motion effects.
    Surreal, funny, absurd.

  240. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#218): You can apparently join the Luann-ville fire department with little/no knowledge/experience/skill/training/brains.

  241. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#205): Actually, Lorena Bobbitt could be a character in Mark Trail.

  242. Shrug, Speaking Francly
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    In today’s JUDGE PARKER, the folks get a message from Neddy’s banker in Paris.

    “France is having some budget problems, what with the expedition to Mali and all. But Neddy really loves our country, so we were wondering if you might be willing to buy us and give us to her as a birthday present?”

  243. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#239): Would you like to buy a monkey?

  244. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Who Could Be All Wet About This Theory (#237): I can’t believe a person named “Shrug” has the audacity to make fun of Dock’s name. Especially since you might get a beat down from his brothers Hickory and Dickory.

  245. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#240): Speaking of which, does anyone know what Mr. DeGroot does for a living? He strikes me a bit of the uptight father from Adult Swim’s “Morel Orel”.

  246. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#235): It seems like the Curmudgeon crowd wants to see either Wilbur and/or Mary naked.

  247. bats :[
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#246): I’d settle for this.
    (hey, I just found the photo by accident…I HAD to use it!)

  248. AhClem
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#230):
    Also, mental image of the day: Mary Worth naked. Discuss Disgust.

    All fixed. You’re welcome.

  249. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#239):

    It could never live up to expectations based on the brilliance of ‘Get a Life’, but “worst movie ever” is pretty harsh, especially in a world where ‘Sex and the City 2′ exists. I do agree about skipping as much of the “Fancy Boys” bits at the beginning as possible, including Letterman’s cameo.

  250. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#245): I believe he’s an accountant for Chippendales.

  251. Jasper
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @yo go re (#188):
    and Rusty’s hair grew an inch since the onset of their trip.

  252. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#247): Yessss. You just made my day. =)

  253. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#250): I thought he might be shirt salesman at the same place where Gunther gets his clothes (since they both dress sort of alike). But Chippendales accountant is plausible – that’s where he probably met his former stripper wife.

  254. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#16):
    Yes, I used to fish for Bluegills in the pond of an old neighbor and friend of my Great Aunt and her 2 daughters – I was good at catching them, but then my cousins said “you caught them, now you shall eat them.” They were bony but tasted pretty good as I recall-with a mild taste.

    Here’s Allie’s story about fishing as a child (fairly gory)
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2010/03/how-fish-almost-destroyed-my-childhood.html

  255. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#129):
    Actually, Alfred Snider, the Debate Teacher and coach extraordinaire who also teaches at my Alma Mater UVM, used to have “Reggae Lunch Hour” on WRUV, and his nickname for years has been “Dr. Tuna.” Not sure how he got his moniker.

  256. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    *NEWS FLASH*
    Don’t forget my offer folks! First person to post / sport an artistic homemade “Smoochy Boyz” T-Shirt (you’ve gotta wear it, though!) wins a $20 contribution to a charity of your choice from Yours Truly. You have until end of Monday, Jan. 21 to participate. : D

  257. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#56): Why don’t people make cool mocktails? Whenever I’m not drinking and I ask the bartender to “make me something interesting, non alcoholic, be creative” I get orange juice with a dash of grenadine or cranberry juice and club soda, in a water tumbler.

  258. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Mark): “Rusty, did you know that Ron Bassy’s sister is Shirley Bassey, the singer that did the theme song for the movie, Goldfinger? Ron dropped the ‘e’ from his last name to throw his family off from trying to find him during his quest to cheat in as many bass fishing tournaments as possible. He figures if he gets caught cheating he could always head south and cheat in some Bone fish tournaments.”
    (Rusty): “WHAT is this Goldfinger of which you speak?”

  259. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    MT-”Great, Mark. How do you like my outfit? I found it on two dead guys tied to a tree.”

  260. Joleen
    January 17th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Re: Pink cake. I haven’t checked the cake mix section lately in the grocers, but at one time you could buy an artificially flavored (and colored) strawberry cake mix. My brother got into cake baking for a time (mixes, not from scratch) and liked to put together odd combinations like strawberry cake and orange icing. He had to give up cakes after his heart attack.

  261. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Mikey (#75):People freeze to death in cities all the time. There’s even opera about it. Or was he in Miami?

  262. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#259): “Great, Mark. How do you like my outfit? I found it on two dead guys tied to a tree.”

    Two thumbs up for the best comment of the day!
    (Way to go, Liam. I can’t believe I didn’t notice Bluegill is wearing a UPS uniform!)

  263. Dood
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    “Oh, I’m no longer a guide. Funny thing. It seems these two jobs opened up at UPS…”

  264. Perky Bird
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    @Joleen (#260): A former co-worker of mine used to make the most delicious strawberry cake by taking a regular yellow cake mix and adding pureed and whole strawberries. The result was a batter of a most shocking pink color but was so good, I can still taste it in my dreams.
    Mr. Dill’s cake, however, would likely be one that would haunt my nightmares.

  265. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#262): There is very limited costuming in the Mark Trail wardrobe room.

  266. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    BB: Lt. Fuzz is right. Genius. In a audacious tactical move, Gen. Halftrack has duped the enemy into falling for the old “circular firing squad” trap.

    // All the General, Major, Captain, and Lieutenant have to do is duck at the right moment.

  267. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#262):

    Thanks. I was worried that I was ripping somebody off there for a moment.

    MW-”I bake so I don’t see the lives of the people that my meddling has hurt. That young waitress in the Witness Protection Program that was brutally gunned down by the Mafia after I encouraged her to reunite with an old love. The nurse that wouldn’t take no from a doctor. She kidnapped him one night and horribly killed him before the cops killed her.”

  268. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

  269. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#268): Aye.

    And a line that needs to be used in Mark Trail: “We’re just here to catch fish and stink.”

    “Mostly the latter.”

  270. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Comrade Denny (#139): MT: So, did “Doc” get his name because of his proficiency in Word?

    That’s right. He’s even better with spreadsheets, but nobody could pronounce “Xls”.

  271. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#249):

    See above for a reminder of that scene.

    I haven’t watched the whole movie in years.

    Quickly: the first time I caught it was a cable showing. The movie was already well past the opening. So, I was completely confused. I asked a friend what it was and if he had seen it. He hadn’t. Though, later he remembered what it was and told me. But, even he didn’t recognize what we were watching because when he saw it in the theaters, he, like everyone else there, walked out of it.

    So the part we watched was something he hadn’t seen before.

    The stop motion animation is what floored me. Nowadays there’s so much mixed live action and computer animation that you sort of expect it. At one point, mixing it like that was what the movie was sold as being, a mix of animation and live action (Mary Poppins, Cool World). This movie wasn’t sold like that and there’s a lot of stuff in there.

    According to that Wikipedia article, Tim Burton was supposed to direct it. It could have been completely different if he had directed it rather than just producing the movie. It could have been weirder.

  272. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#269): , @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#249):

    Awww.
    Thanks for letting me know I’m the only one who has watched the movie. Admittedly, I had forgotten about it until the shark was brought up upthread by @Shrug, or One of His Chums (#202):

    It was years before I found out just how bad the opening is. The memory of the latter portion was the mark of excellence to me during that time.

    (the ending does suck in a forced 80s way but what led up to it was good. I mean what the heck? The scene in the cave?)

  273. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    A great old advertisement for Morning Funnies cereal was posted on Shakesville today. Check out how Funky Winkerbean used to look, and how much he cared about “fruit taste:”

    http://www.shakesville.com/2013/01/random-nerd-nostalgia-morning-funnies.html

  274. pugfuggly
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    MT “Someday when you’re older I’ll tell you the story of how Syphilis Joe got his name…”

    MW “I never could get the hang of using ‘flour’ and ‘eggs’ though, so I decided to just press together a few cans of SPAM in a cake mold and decorate tat instead….”

    A3G No Margo, the correct response is ‘what but what, we don’t love you whores’ and then smoke an ounce. G’s up hoes down!

  275. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, I just got this:

    Failed to query blacklist: domain – thanks for letting me know i’m the only one who has watched the movie. a. Query: SELECT * FROM `sk2_blacklist` WHERE (`value` = ‘\r\nthanks for letting me know i’m the only one who has watched the movie. a’ AND (`type` = ‘domain_black’ OR `type` = ‘domain_white’)) AND `score` > 30 ORDER BY `score` DESC
    SQL error: Illegal mix of collations (latin1_swedish_ci,IMPLICIT) and (utf8_general_ci,COERCIBLE) for operation ‘=‘

    //we’ll see if posting this yields it again. i’ll post again if it does.

  276. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#245): I think he works with Ted Forth in the Strategic Sourcing department.

  277. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#264): Mr. Dill’s cake, however, would likely be one that would haunt my nightmares.

    If you eat one of Mr. Dill’s cakes, then you’re doing it all wrong:

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jqIco55P2SI/RiWL9y7IxRI/AAAAAAAAAAM/Zz6KR5Uy6Pg/s400/JimmyCake.jpg

  278. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#276): Wow. I’m reminded of the Simpson’s episode where the kids take a tour of the box factory.

  279. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#255):

    Snider is still teaching debate at Vermont? I remember back in the (cough!) late 80s when I was debating in college, he was already considered old-school – aka not friendly to the “talk as fast as you possibly can, and expect the judge to keep up somehow” strategy used by 95% of the teams.

  280. Ed Dravecky
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    “…and we refer to Mark Trail as the ‘old goat’ because we’ll be sacrificing him to Dagon, the Assyro-Babylonian fertility god who brings fish to our village.”

  281. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#275): Looks like the mother ship is trying to contact you.

  282. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#37): I have never before seen anyone pick up a cake by simply sticking one’s hand underneath it and lifting it up whole, and I have never before seen anyone pick up a freshly baked and steaming anything without a pot holder or an oven mitt.

    Having baked cakes before, that panel didn’t cause me to raise my eyebrows or drop my monocle into my tea. He’s popping the cake layer out of the pan onto the stand, using his hand to catch it gently. Admittedly, the author went a little too far on the steam — cake layers are supposed to cool slightly before being taken out of the pans — and the fact that the cake is larger than the pan it came out of is concerning.

  283. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#280): I think he got Mark confused with a bats :[ mashup.

  284. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    MT – “…and over there, Rusty, is our Hall of Famer, Catfish Hunter!”
    (Rusty): WOW! A real live DEAD baseball hall of famer!!!” Do you think he will give me his autograph, Mark?”
    (Mark): Um, sure, Rusty, but I should tell you, you are thinking of another Catfish Hunter. THIS Catfish Hunter is a CATFISH HUNTER, which means he hunts Catfish. Catfish is in the Catfish Hunter Hall of Fame for hunting down and catching the most Catfish of all of our other Catfish hunters. But you WERE partially correct, Rusty, because Catfish Hunter DOES always seem to smell like a dead Catfish.”
    (Rusty): “Yuck! I think I’ll pass on asking Catfish for his autograph! …Hey, Mark! Maybe they will induct YOU into the BONEFISH HUNTER HALL OF FAME for going Bonefish fishing and getting kidnapped and never getting to even see a stinking Bonefish! HAHAHAHAHA!”
    (Mark): Don’t press your luck, Rusty or I’ll put you in the hall of fame for mutant Kids who rob ancient arrowheads from sacred Indian burial grounds and get kidnapped as well. So THERE!”
    (Rusty) “There’s no hall of fame for that, Mark. I know because I checked!”

  285. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#280):

    (Mark Trail): “I know a fellow in a poor village on a small tropical island who is just like that Dagon fellow, but his name is Pop!”

  286. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#258):
    Ahhh, Shirley – one of my Mom’s faves – mine too
    I love “History Repeating” as well – awesome tune

  287. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#270): He can also whip up a mean .ppt but got tired of wiping spit from his eye.

  288. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#279):
    Apparently so! (Beware the rainbow .gif’s / applets on his site, though)
    http://debate.uvm.edu/tuna.html
    He’s a FB friend as well. Many of us Groovy UV’s still adore him.

  289. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    MT – “Mark Trail, you old goat…tell me, Mark, how’s that ugly old giant beaver of yours doing?”
    (Rusty): “Don’t you talk about my Mom that way, mister!”
    (Mark) “Um, Rusty, I think mister Bluegill was refering to the out of proportion animals Jackelrod’s color monkeys continue drawing all over our property as well as everywhere else.”
    (Rusty): “Oh yeah, those…..never mind.”

  290. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#264):
    Dill’s looks like Pepto-Bismol cake, with a touch of Calamine lotion.

  291. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#275):

    Failed to query blacklist: domain – thanks for letting me know i’m the only one who has watched the movie. a. Query: SELECT * FROM `sk2_blacklist` WHERE (`value` = ‘\r\nthanks for letting me know i’m the only one who has watched the movie. a’ AND (`type` = ‘domain_black’ OR `type` = ‘domain_white’)) AND `score` > 30 ORDER BY `score` DESC
    SQL error: Illegal mix of collations (latin1_swedish_ci,IMPLICIT) and (utf8_general_ci,COERCIBLE) for operation ‘=‘

    Apparently you’ve won some sort of prize.

    (I’ll check the spam filter to see if your IP address wound up in there somehow.)

  292. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    MT: No, I’m sorry, that’s not a Bluegill. To call yourself Bluegill you need an unkempt Fu Manchu and at least one arm totally sleeved. Being a shrimpy white guy who wears a UPS uniform in the deep woods just won’t cut it.

    MW: Glad to know Mary’s cooking is therapeutic for her at least.

    BC: “Where did you get the sweet ride? The crude stone wheel you’ve been riding for about sixty years now? Yeah, that one.”

    HtH: Hagar needs to invade or raid England if he wants to make a living. Just going there and hanging out won’t put food on the table.

    DT: The new villain’s name is “Sweatbox”, presumably because he’s got a sweaty… No, wait.

    GT: Gil Thorp feels like it was edited together at random after someone’s dog knocked the drawings onto the floor. Nice to know some things never change.

    6C: Show me a chocolate chip Phillie blunt and you’ve certainly got my attention.

    SSmith: Course’n these Radio Suppers are six months old and the refrigerator case don’t work nohow, so git ready to pick out the green spots.

    S-M: Jonah’s way out of his jurisdiction, of course. The officer can only make arrests on the order of an editor from the Las Vegas Sun or the Tribune.

    Marvin: “That’s uncalled for! My mother only craps her pants a few times a year!”

    A3G: This must be quite a blow to Greg’s confidence. Margo called out another man’s name when he was in the middle of not having sex with her.

  293. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#273): I see a young Funky Winkerbean in the ad. This was a few years before he realized that Morning Funnies™ taste better with a bourbon chaser. And that bourbon tastes better without eating Morning Funnies™ before you drink it.

  294. Alison
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    “Mary Worth”: When I was younger I read this really badly-written book for teens and a couple of the characters were supposed to be child geniuses, but it was obvious the author had no idea how to make them sound that way, so s/he just resorted to a lot of stilted, cliched lines like “High school is so existential” and “Life imitates art, and art imitates life”. This reminds me of what “Mary Worth” does every single day. A constant stream of dialogue which is supposed to sound intelligent and classy but which only sounds phoney and stiff.

    “Luann”: Luann and her pals will probably run into An Eyeful at the job fair, being as how she can’t show her face at Weenie World ever again for her disgusting crimes against humanity, and all that.

  295. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#293):

    “Mom, these Morning Funnies taste funny. Just like the clown you made us eat yesterday.”

  296. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#230):

    Also, mental image of the day: Mary Worth naked. Discuss.

    Okay:
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

    ((breath)

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  297. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#257): That’s actually a bit of a “thing” here—”mixologists” who make tasty and interesting alcohol-free cocktails. I guess it gives them a way to charge tons of money for a drink, just as they do for the fancy cocktails.

  298. KreatureFeatures
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Fine, fine day of comments everybody. Thanks to bats:[ for a couple laughs today. (I especially like the idea of a smart-ass teen Rusty trapped in a long car ride with Mark.) And Jasper and Liam and Steve and Perky. Thanks to queek for the always titillating Love Is commentary.

  299. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#107):

    Momma – A gag that only works as words written on paper and which fails utterly if you try to imagine it actually happening.

    Must be Thursday.

  300. Uncle Lumpy
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#275):

    Yeah, your comment triggered a big ol’ red-flag severity-level 8 event in the spam filter. It apparently choked on the apostrophe in “I’m”, and thought you were collating English and Swedish character sets. It checked to see if your Blacklist rating was > 30, which it most definitely is not, and let the comment pass – but apparently the log entry got routed into the comment, which I haven’t seen absent administrative malfeasance experimentation.

    Excluding spam, CC now has 594,000+ comments, so I forgive it a little hiccup now and then.

  301. Comrade Denny
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#246): No so much Mary, but when Wilbur was as Lost Forest U, he earned the nickname Hoagie Buttmuncher.

  302. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    MT – Rustina Trail makes her debut in panel #3 of today’s strip. Mark thinks, “THIS will REALLY make a good story!”

  303. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    Bluegill Bream spat in the red dusty dirt outside Bluegill’s Bait and Guide. Ever since his “investors” took over managing, the place wasn’t his. Today the ten thousandth fucking idiot asked him how he got the name “Bluegill.” BluefuckingGill. God, how he hated that name. Sure, it was good for business – “just look for the big bluegill on highway 19″ – but it was like being called “PeeWee” – demeaning. Bluegills were the runts of the fish world. Sometimes he fantasized about taking dynamite and trying to kill every fucking bluegill in the lake. That was why he’d never married, why he started drinking and why his business went under. Fucking Mark Trail. That was the asshole who gave him that name. Just then the familiar truck came around the bend. Fuck you, asshole, you’re mine, he thought. He spat again.

  304. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#291):

    If I understand the gibberish (and I don’t) it must mean that when I tried to be sneaky and trick it with Swedish wiles (instead of my famous meatballs) I threw a monkey in the works and wrenched it all up.

    @Sequitur (#281):
    If the Muppets Swedish Chef has taught me anything (and he has) it is that gibberish means something to someone. If the mothership is calling, I’m sure someone will know what they want.

  305. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#275): @Uncle Lumpy (#300):

    Well, tallyHO, I hope you have learned your lesson!

    // So, you were saying, in Sweden thy make Spam with lutefisk? Fascinating.

  306. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#300):
    Yay!

    Every now and then I make like the Lone Ranger and make Trigger go giddy-up!

  307. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#305):

    I do consult my Swedish Chef to English dictionary.

    dur dur dur dur dur=
    yup, i learnt my lesson.

  308. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Here’s a question: Have we all been extra-good today, to get so many fabulous bats :[ mash-ups?

  309. Majicou
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#305): Behold thy SPAM and thy lutefisk! Truly thou hast a most detestable mix of victuals twixt the Americas and the Northern climes. ‘gainst such a feast would the most gluttonous trencherman blanch, and the gourmand flee in terror. But ho! Hither come the servants with the baked beans, which were off yet now are on.

  310. Baka Gaijin
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#230): AAAAAAHHHH! My eyes! I can’t unsee that image!!! Where are the crows when you need them?

    @Perky Bird (#234): “Shredded coconut public hair…” bought at the local Pubix store.

    @Government Cheese (#246): NO! Emphatically NO!!!

    @Calico (#256): Smoochy Boyz drool, Gail Martin rules.

    @Perky Bird (#264): Salmon aspic is pink. That cake is pink. I’m not saying there’s a correlation. Yes, I’m implying it but not saying it.

    @Calico (#290): Calamine lotion makes this cake moist.

    @Sequitur (#295): While I applaud the necessary clown deadness to make a cereal, I can’t condone eating it. It should be salted then burned then the ashes salted and put in 55 gallon stainless steel drums that get filled with cement and dropped into the Marianas Trench.

    @Uncle Lumpy (#300): I’ve had that happen. After a few previews and page refreshes, it went away.

  311. Illustrator Steve
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    MT – Okay, Jakelrod. I’m still waitng for an answer as to just WHY panel #1 is in black and white while the other two panels are in color!
    …And, also in panel #1, that old Carryall or Travelall Mark is driving is old enough that it would not have been equipped with seat belts, meaning those white straps Rusty and Mark are wearing must mean they are both members of the Lost Forest Home Schooling Safety Patrol.
    ….anybody out there remember when they had Safety Patrols in grade schools? They would give the selected student a white belt made from heavy canvas material to wear over one shoulder with a NEAT bright and shiny siver badge. I’ve still got one of those bright and shiny Safety Patrol badges, even though I was never selected to be on the safety patrol, their lose and MY gain. That badge must be worth at least 5 bucks on Ebay today!

  312. yaoi huntress earth
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#116): Maybe Brooke just feels guilty about his lusts.

  313. Calico
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#300):
    That is quite funny, and interesting. *Burp*
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiMZa8flyYY

  314. cg
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Liam, I’m amazed it took 223 comments before that one came out.

  315. Chip Whittle
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#273):

    A great old advertisement for Morning Funnies cereal was posted on Shakesville today. Check out how Funky Winkerbean used to look, and how much he cared about “fruit taste:”

    http://www.shakesville.com/2013/01/random-nerd-nostalgia-morning-funnies.html

    And now Funky’s graduated to Mourning Funnies, the cereal with the unshakable taste of bitter disappointment and crushed dreams in every bowl of Red Dye Number 2-colored flakes.

  316. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#305):

    You reminded me of something I intended to write and will riff off of what you wrote:

    Hi, I’m Troy McClure and you might remember me from such films as “Fists of Lutefisk”, “Steelhead Man Gloryholes”, “The Bad News Bass Go to Japan”, and the time honored classic: “The Good, The Bad and the Beluga”.

  317. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#230): Also, mental image of the day: Mary Worth naked. Discuss.

    OK. Back in Manhattan in Margo Magee’s bedroom, through the corner of his eye Greg notices Evan hiding in Margo’s closet, holding that box. When a drunken Margo mumbles Evan’s name just before going to sleep, Greg becomes furious and plots his revenge on his rival. Still talking loudly to keep Evan hiding in the closet, Greg goes into Nurse Tommie’s room and takes some medical tubing from her dresser drawer. He then connects one end of the tubing to the gas line in Margo’s bedroom and slides the other end under the closet door. He then turns on the gas and renders Evan unconscious. (Hey, for some time now Greg has been rehearsing to be James Bond, remember.)

    Greg drags Evan’s unconscious body down to the garage and drives to the airport. With his movie-star credit card he charters a private jet and takes the unconscious Evan cross-country to Santa Royale, when he drives to Charterstone and breaks into Mary Worth’s apartment while she is out celebrating Christmas with Dr. Jeff. He stuffs the still-dozing Evan into Mary’s closet, and he leaves.

    Mary returns to her apartment, undresses, and goes to bed. The gas in Evan’s lungs finally wears off, and he wakes up in Mary’s closet, thinking he has simply fallen asleep and is still in Margo’s apartment. In the dark he sneaks out of the closet and sees what he of course assumes to be his beloved, asleep in her bed. He climbs in beside her and begins to stroke the bare flesh of her elderly torso. Evan fondles Mary’s flabby buttocks, rubs his thighs against her cellulite, and gently kisses her sagging and withered dugs, all without waking her up. (After all, Mary too have been “making merry” to ring in the holiday with an extra bottle or two of wine.)

    After a few minutes of this would-be passion, however, Evan has had enough. He gets out of bed, puts on his clothes, and says in disgust, “God, Margo, I knew you were of course older than me when I agreed to be your ‘toy boy’, but this is ridiculous. Caressing your naked body is terrible! I put up with that sort of thing too much already, on the three nights per week when I’m required to have sex with Aunt Cathy!”

    You’re welcome.

  318. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#316): I thought it was “The Squid, the Shad and the Guppy.”

  319. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#317): Boy, is Mary going to be steamed when she finds out she’s pregnant.

  320. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#318):
    That’s right.
    //that works better, actually.

    @Government Cheese (#230):

    See, I can not “see” Mary Worth appearing au natural (as the people with a piece of corn stuck between their teeth say it).

    If I try (only upon your request, in part because I obey cheese. i guess) then I “see” Mary in a full-body, flesh colored fake naked suit. In movies, what I “see” might be called a fat suit.

    There’s just no way, no shape, no form that comes to mind other than her naked body being covered with fake nakedness.

    //sometimes, things work out for the best.

  321. Joshua
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Okay, so Luann and her classmates must be juniors at most (if they were seniors, they would already have started applying to college, rather than just going to college fairs to find out about colleges). So this means that Luann’s parents ruled out her going to any college other than The Local Junior College before her junior year. You’d think they would at least have left open the possibility of her getting a scholarship somewhere.

    That said, I really wish that the strip would start running in real time from here on out, so Luann and her friends can graduate, her friends can go off to other colleges and disappear from the strip, and then let the strip become the story of Luann’s life in junior college. The fact that Greg felt the need to devote several strips to Luann watching Rosa and Gunther studying in the library suggests to me that he is tapped out for plots involving the Pitts High School students. A new setting and new supporting cast for Luann could reinvigorate the strip.

  322. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#319): I’m not sure which is worse: the mental image of the original sex/conception scene or the image of a wailing newborn with Mary’s face.

  323. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#317):

    Waitasecond! Hold the Phone! Hang up the hang ups!

    What if “Aunt” Cathy is really just some Master Thespian or a raffish amatuer who is acting like “Aunt” Cathy to fool Evan–who is neither Eric nor Bond James Bond. Perhaps that actor is mad because he didn’t get the role of the new James Bond and…

    oh screw it. i just want to put the idea there is a cross dresser in the strip. might as well cut to the chase.

  324. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#317): I just spit out my wine.

  325. Government Cheese
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#320): Ah such great visuals!

  326. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#322): That image of Mary and her baby with the little Mary head (gray hair and all) is both hilarious and scary at the same time like a Tim Burton film.

    One thing we do not want is public breastfeeding!

  327. Red Greenback
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#318): I always get that flick confused with “The Gar, The Goldfish & Everything” starring Rockcod Hake and Sand Dabber.

  328. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (Y343):

    @Aviatrix (#342): I thought that was your national dish! (Have you tried the Springfield, Illinois’ horseshoe – very like that).

    // A whore’s shoe? Take it away, waiter! I ordered a putain.

    That’s an astonishing interlingual pun. Seeing as the dish itself has nothing to do with horses, do you think it was deliberate?

    //Sorry to the people who don’t get this. You’re not beefwits, I promise.

  329. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#298):

    You’re welcome.

  330. Zerowolf
    January 17th, 2013 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#326): Mommy, why does that baby have its mouth on that lady’s knee?

  331. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#327): I know. They’re so similar.

    @Zerowolf (#330): Ha!

  332. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#146): Did he do this joke all the time? And his wife never once plunged a kitchen knife into his chest?

    Didn’t you know? The marriage vows in Funkyville always involve the bride agreeing to suffer agreeably through her husband’s pathetic and repetitive jokes until death do they part.

  333. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#328): It would be amusing to think so, wouldn’t it? Of course, the usual explanation of the Springfield horseshoe is that its two foundation slices of bread somehow resembled a horse’s shoe. That is rather a stretch of the imagination.

    On the other hoof, frankly I don’t think anyone involved in either of these notorious drunk-ex dishes was clever enough to make the connection. I should be delighted to be proven wrong, however.

  334. Another Kiwi
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Oooh the snark! Bluegill is asking “How’s my favourite writer?” because it ain’t Mark. Mark comes back with “How’s my favourite guide?” because it ain’t Bluegill.
    Next thing will be Mark telling Rusty ( so called because his conjugation of Latin irregular verbs is a little rusty) “I think you better stay on shore, it might be a bit choppy out there.”

  335. hogenmogen
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#317):
    This is for a true A3Geek, but Eric was Margo’s fiance before he died in Nepal or Tibet or some place foreign with icy mountains.

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#292):
    A3G: This must be quite a blow to Greg’s confidence. Margo called out another man’s name when he was in the middle of not having sex with her.

    But to be fair, Greg did not have sex with Margo just as many times as Eric did not have sex with her.

  336. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#335): How could Margo have sex with anyone in that bed? I mean, what kind of non-monastic adult sleeps in a bed like that? It’s like a kiddy bed—and should probably have a race car as a bed frame.

  337. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#160): Can you sell me some pot?
    Christ, I was just on my way over to your place! (I did just get new glasses, though. Old Man glasses! Now I can deteriorate in appropriate eyewear.)

    @Carlye (#171): Good luck with that. I had a whole comment written on that exact notion, and bats :[ had already done a comic on it, before I even read the funnies.

  338. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#336): I think Margo should have a bed like this.

  339. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#335):

    So like Luann, Margo too dreams of dead lovers. Will Greg become jealous and storm off because Margo never told him about this guy?

    Pluggers-This is the second time this week that an idea has come from my home state of South Carolina.

    MT-Terrible. There was this woman and her husband was kidnapped and I was next in line to console her until he returned.

    Zippy-I believe that the proper term now is African-American holes not black holes.

  340. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#337): @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#337): Pince-nez, of course?

    // Or, as Aviatrix would say, “pee-nay”.

  341. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#335): You know, I didn’t even notice that Margo said “Eric”! Somehow I just assumed she said “Evan”, but now that I went back and looked, I see that you’re right! So Margo still is carrying a torch for her former fiance’. Do you suppose that the Dalai Lama’s blessing will work, and Eric will some day return to the Mills Gallery from his icy tomb in the Himalayas? It will take decades for that glacier to slide down the hillside and Eric to be free of it, but then this strip moves at a glacial pace anyway, so no doubt all will work out just fine!

  342. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338):

    Hold on there!
    Someone has a bed like that?

  343. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#339):

    Pluggers-This is the second time this week that an idea has come from my home state of South Carolina.

    At least you don’t live in the same area as Reed Hoover like I do.

  344. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#342): Yes. If you love your child you will get them one. Here’s the article.

  345. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#344):
    If you love your child you will get them one.

    How would explain that the tooth fairy doesn’t pay by the pound?

  346. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#345): Tooth Fairy would take one look at that and say, “I quit. Ain’t no way I’m messin’ with that!” And promptly leave the bag o’ doubloons at the foot of the bed.

    So, if you desire a bag o’ doubloons…

  347. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#232): well, a candiru IS a bone fish. . . .

    @KreatureFeatures (#298): mp, and thanks!

  348. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338):

    If you should die before you wake.

  349. Liam
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338):

    Nightmare fuel.

  350. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#348): …I pray it gets a belly ache.

  351. seismic-2
    January 17th, 2013 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338): Well, that kid doesn’t have to worry that there are monsters hiding under his bed.

  352. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#351): Only that the monster is the bed.

  353. cheech wizard
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338): So it can match her twat?

  354. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#353): The teeth may go there but I’m not.

  355. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    January 17th, 2013 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#230):

    Also, mental image of the day: Mary Worth naked. Discuss.

    Duct tape. Lots of duct tape. And paper clips.

  356. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#335):

    But to be fair, Greg did not have sex with Margo just as many times as Eric did not have sex with her.

    I see what you mean. Her confusion on that score is understandable. Hey, imagine how crazy it would be if they looked alike.

  357. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#132):

    Now, now…the first panel is not in black and white, it’s in black and light green and light blue!

  358. Sgt. Stoned
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m guessing that Mark has the nickname “old goat” because he likes to fuck sheep.

    MW: inre: pink cake. When I was a kid, my favoritie homemade cake flavor was Duncan Hines Cherry Supreme, which was colored pink.

  359. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#332): The marriage vows in Funkyville always involve the bride agreeing to suffer agreeably through her husband’s pathetic and repetitive jokes until death do they part.

    You would think that the last bit there would be the loophole. Empirically, however, the ‘to death do they part’ bit has proven to be wishful thinking. Saint Dead Lisa still has to hang around and listen to Les’ puns for all eternity.

  360. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mardou Fox (#142):

    And the A. stands for “At” no doubt!

  361. pugfuggly
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#358):

    I’m guessing that Mark has the nickname “old goat” because he likes to fuck sheep.

    erm, are goats known for that…?

  362. Sequitur
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#361): Sure. Where do you think shoats and geep come from?

  363. tallyHO
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#359):

    Phase Three of Funky Winkerbean will follow a folk singer as he sings of how Les and Cayla’s marriage came to a tragic end, as ordered by the ghost of Lisa. Batty should get about six-seven years out of that alone. I expect the guitar playing folkie to run in an annual race, too. Then once in a while he’ll stop for pizza where he’ll sing his order in between stanzas of this epic poem-song, “More About Love Than Les”

  364. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#363):

    The more I knew Les, the less I loved Moore.

  365. Aviatrix
    January 17th, 2013 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#275): I commend you on writing a brilliant parody of yesterthread’s coding geek fiesta. It obviously wasn’t real, because of the cute little ‘Swedish’ joke, but spot on, otherwise.

    //^What I would have written when I first read it, had my bus not arrived before I could reply.

  366. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#364):

    I think that I’m starting to actually miss Less and his idiotic smirk. Is that so bad?

    // I know, I know, time to have myself committed at the Funny Farm.

  367. tallyHO
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    Phase Four of Funky Winkerbean will be set far into the future. It will be a hologram filled museum where visitors (gluttons for punishment all) will be able to revisit the whimsy that is Batiuk’s World of Funky.

    The museum (anno nauseum) will be curated by the grandson of Justin Beiber, Beep Beep Beiber. He will recreate the brilliance of the (not-so) comic strip with various multi-media experiences that will allow visitors to both laugh and cry (tear buckets will be provided; there will be no refunds).

    Visitors will be able to run down hallways and avoid being shot at by a young Les Moore. They will be able to run on a track at the behest of Coach Bull (name unkonwn) and march in a band playing any instrument they choose, while outrunning the Random Instrument of Unfunny Destruction.

    The museum tour will feature a unique guide. It will be a combination of young Les Moore’s Whimsical Afro and old Les Moore’s downtrodden Goatee. It will lead visitors from the 1970s to the tragic 21st Century.

    Be forewarned, however. Count Weirdly has come back from the future with this riddle:

    “Behold ye naysayers and ne’erdowells! What is a radioactively glowing mall that banishes all and whom is it to blame, upon whose head does blame fall?”

    Upside down answer: Batiuk

  368. greghousesgf
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#94): what a name! it sounds like a group of militant gay guys. The Dick Army!

  369. Droopy Says
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Kraven escaped, making the cops look as incompetent as Spiderman. So in some strange way he wins again.

    FW: “Remember, mom, these are the same people who helped Dead Lisa become a literary figure!”

    Family Circus: Did . . . did a melonhead just make an amusing observation? One that required at least some intellect and powers of observation? Which sign of whose apocalypse is this?

    Mock Travail: Oh, lordy, a fisherman who catches lots of fish and brags about it! Don’t worry, Blueballs, Rod Bassy will become popular in every community after he abducts Rusty to blackmail Trail into keeping his secrets.

    Pluggers: Shennanigans call: Pluggers never get near enough to a new car o know that smell. They only buy “tried and true” cars with a minimum of fifty thousand miles on them.

    Mock Travail: If Mark Trail has multiple personality disorder, how can you tell the personalities apart?

    Phantom:</b. And thus the busy workers of LionMingle.com prepare for Kit Walker's next romance excuse to avoid the wife and kids.

    Mock Travail: Trail drives a station wagon? Sherman must’ve set the Wayback Machine for 1959, or as it’s called in Lost Forest, “last month.”

  370. bats :[
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:41 am [Reply]

  371. Baka Gaijin
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#338): That is one lucky kid.

    @cheech wizard (#353): Oh ha ha HA! Oh.

    @Sgt. Stoned (#358) on Mary Worth: It figures Mr. Dill would use a cake mix that was discontinued decades ago due to toxic levels of food coloring that was removed from the market for its carcinogenic effects.

    A quick Google finds this mix is available in one small town in Ohio.

  372. tallyHO
    January 18th, 2013 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Cue up “Unchained Melody”

    Mark Trail: “The Fishing Community”? Is that what they call their hedonistic fish-landering sect? Hey! I ain’t gonna judge. I’ll leave that up to the “community”. Now excuse me while I put the scales back over my eyes.

  373. seismic-2
    January 18th, 2013 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Shoe: I see a number of news reports that Chris Cassat, who led the 3-person team that has been keeping Shoe going since the strip’s creator Jeff McNally died in June 2000, has himself now died (of lymphoma, on Jan. 16). Cassat had been McNally’s assistant on Shoe for 10 years prior to McNally’s death, and he took it over along with editorial cartoonist Gary Brookins (who has also been drawing Pluggers, another strip that was created by McNally) and McNally’s widow Susie. On the Shoe Web site there is a tribute to Cassat “written” by Treetops Tattler columnist Perfesser Cosmo Fishhawk.

  374. Aviatrix
    January 18th, 2013 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#369): I can picture a Plugger hanging around at the car dealership during sale week, sampling the free popcorn and boring the fuzzy little ears off the salesbear, recounting personal experience that demonstrates the superiority of the horizontally opposed cylinder arrangement.

  375. Aviatrix
    January 18th, 2013 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    The first panel of Rex Morgan deserves to be in Dick Tracy.

  376. Aviatrix
    January 18th, 2013 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    Friday’s Mary Worth includes the final reveal of John Dill’s intended contest cake design. I knew it was coming, but until now I had managed to sustain the fantasy that his design would be … not what it is. More on this tomorrow, assuming I have recovered by then from the painful disappointment.

    Also:
    “The cakes that get the most attention are usually those that are baked in a pan that causes them to be shaped like something, and then decorated.” – eHow.com

  377. Droopy Says
    January 18th, 2013 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#374): Yeah, that makes sense . . . although it’s more likely that a Plugger would go to Checker Auto Parts and buy a scent-strip that reminds him of his high school days. “Mmmm . . . nothing like the fragrance of used condoms and puked-up beer!”

  378. Da Coconino Kid
    January 18th, 2013 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    Ah Dios mio … is Josh trying to goad us into racing to 2000+ posts, like when he was gone?

  379. Da Coconino Kid
    January 18th, 2013 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    Snow-banks, white, un-writ,
    Pages bereft of comics.
    Yet mudges snark on.

  380. Aviatrix
    January 18th, 2013 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    @Da Coconino Kid (#378): We need no goading, my friend, but I didn’t perceive any from Josh.

  381. Da Coconino Kid
    January 18th, 2013 at 3:03 am [Reply]

  382. Da Coconino Kid
    January 18th, 2013 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#380):

    Ah, but you see, that’s just how clever he is — he does it by his very lack of doing it. Very Zen.

  383. Alice
    January 18th, 2013 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    Bluh…1.5 hours after its usual daily update, GoComics still isn’t displaying any of Friday’s comics. Snark withdrawal symptoms!

  384. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2013 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#374): Ha! Funny!

  385. John C Fremont
    January 18th, 2013 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    Rod Bassy; The Anti-Sergeant McQueen.

  386. gleeb
    January 18th, 2013 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Yeah. Homophone-style humor doesn’t really work out loud like that, so why are the noodly duaghter and son-in-law giving each other that look?

    ‘bean: They must be professionals, they’re using initials!

    Phantom: And it turns out to be the miners who, without motive, are creating the Phantom Lion story. Fine, punch them and go find some pirates.

    Thorp: Mia, admit the healing magic of The Peacock into your heart, and this story won’t have to be about Shelby.

    Mark: Uh oh. He’s not popular with the fishing community.

    June Morgan, RN: Should have known she’s a double-barreled woman.

  387. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 18th, 2013 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    rCdS: has a better icing joke than a weeks Worth.

    AD: guest-written by Wiley Miller.

    Lio: next stop, Overboard.

    Zits: Sarah, Jeremy might be trying to tell you something. It may involve Hector. or Pierce.

    Crank: I don’t carrot all for vegetable puns. also, DIE IN A FIRE!

    MG&G: wow. lame doesn’t even BEGIN to describe that pun.

    RwO: sad but true.

    SF: Sally misses the BIG HINT from Alice. The moment is lost, only to be found in fanfics in dusty corners of the Net. *sniffle*

    SFx: yay hockey! also, another stoned ape.

    rMC: *SNURK!* (FC reference ftw.)

  388. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 18th, 2013 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . wearing white and being 5 months along on your wedding day.

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