Goodness, is it comment of the week time already? Yes, yes it is.
“I have often wished I could produce an exclamation point in a balloon over my head. This is, in fact, Spider-man’s only actual superpower.” –Crankenstank
Also time for the runners up!
“I can’t wait to see Mary’s expression when he reveals his plan: a 5 foot tall cake crafted perfectly in her image, wearing nothing but a few well-placed fig leaves. ‘That’s the nature’ part, he’ll explain, his eyes intense but emotionless.” –pugfuggly
“You hope the ceiling is lead-lined? Trust me, it’s not. This is the Funkyverse! Think ‘asbestos.’” –sporknpork
“I think I know how this storyline of Mary Worth ends. Mary and John stand in the kitchen, pistols in hand, aiming at each other over a range of about six feet (Mary is, of course, holding her pistol gangster-style, like a proper lady). The kitchen is covered with dirty mixing bowls, frosting litters the walls. Their clothes are white with flour and powdered sugar. Their fingers twitch on the triggers. Mary narrows her eyes. A dove coos softly from the windowsill. And then the oven timer rings.” –Voshkod
“I think the last panel of Gil looking introspective and in deep thought would be awesome without the dialogue bubble; he’s got that ‘thinking man pose atop a throne of skulls in Hell’ look about him that would be awesome to airbrush onto the side of a van.” –Jon the Red
“If slumping on a couch drinking wine counts as ‘working,’ then I really need to rethink my understanding of this country’s unemployment crisis.” –Legend of the Arctic
“This is my ward, Rusty. We call him ‘Rusty’ because of the specific way he repeatedly injures himself, and ‘Tetanus Shot’ was too long.” –Sock Puppet
MW: “I have never before seen anyone pick up a cake by simply sticking one’s hand underneath it and lifting it up whole, and I have never before seen anyone pick up a freshly baked and steaming anything without a pot holder or an oven mitt. But then, I have never before seen a cake made out of meat, either. Ah, the beauty of nature!” –seismic-2
“How’s my favorite guide? Are you still leading gullible tourists from the city out into the middle of nowhere where you can kill and rob them?” –Liam
“I like it that they call dumping dissidents in a lake an ‘interment camp.’” –Comrade Denny
“What really gets me is that Sam is looking at crudely-sketched pictures of windows, intently trying to determine what they are. When he lays his eyes on a crudely-sketched picture of whatever Neddy bought, it will surely drive him into madness.” –Ben Ferber