Main content:


What a drag it is getting old, for humans and bird-men alike

Shoe, 1/29/13

I originally saw this strip a sort of sad commentary on aging. The surface joke prompts us to imagine notorious outlaw Billy the Kid — whose very name marks him as one of those figures who will remain forever young by virtue of an early death — as a stooped, doddering old man. Similarly, it must be the case that the Perfesser was, at one point in his life, young and vital, and yet now he slouches in his easy chair, his failing eyesight forcing him to sit far too close to the television, his living room strewn with garbage. But then I thought: maybe all the newspapers on the floor are somehow related to his bird-man nature? You know, because humans line the floor of birdcages with newspaper? For birds to poop on? Screw meditations on old age, I just want the strip to acknowledge that its characters are birds, just once, just once.

Crankshaft, 1/29/13

Speaking of old people, here’s Crankshaft shitting on his friend’s hobby, just to be a jerk.

364 responses to “What a drag it is getting old, for humans and bird-men alike”

  1. Comrade Denny
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    AS-M: Gee-whiz, Pete, it’s too bad you don’t have some kind of preternatural 6th sense — a “spider-sense,” if you will — that warns you when someone is about to pull a gun or otherwise threaten you, or much like this strip, does it too have a snooze button?

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy

    In this alternate reality (we’ll call it “Earth Dick”) Ed Crankshaft was an aspiring baseball player by the name of Stephen Baux. After killing one of his teammates* in a drunken altercation over a woman, Stephen was arrested and sent to prison. But in a twist of fate you find only in popular fiction, another prisoner died during Stephen’s ultimately successful escape from prison. And after the other prisoner’s body was erroneously identified as Stephen Baux, he changed his name to “Sweatbox” and became a career criminal…

    How am I doing, Mike and Joe?

    *Both men played for the Naperville Mud Hens.

  3. Chareth Cutestory
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Shoe: Its annoying to me to see that the Perfesser is also wearing shoes indoors while relaxing in front of the TV. First, take those off at the door you heathen. Second, you gotta let those hideous talons breathe a little.

  4. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    How long ago was it since the Perfesser was an egg?

  5. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Lio: Harold and his Purple Crayon for the win.

    Luann: it just keeps getting worse. On the plus side, we won’t actually get to SEE Brad getting pegged in full make-up and wearing Toni’s lingerie.

    SBp: I’d say this was Pirarro guest-artisting, but it’s a meat pizza.

    Blondie: it will make more sense after puberty hits, kid.

    GT: The Bucket servers swirl, I’m guessing.

    JUMBLE: neither “drank her lunch” nor “sang New Math” fits.

    PMP: this panel would take on a whole new (and much squickier) meaning if the adult was male.

    Pluggers: oh, if ONLY they had an owl-person for this ‘joke’.

    SFx: fish roofies be kickin’ in.

    Retail: *d’awwwwwwwwwww*

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .jackpot, G-spot, it’s all the same thing.

  7. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    But is it pot? Question of the week, queek.

  8. WeatherServo9
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    All those papers on the floor would most likely be years of ungraded homework. After all, what are the chances the Perfesser is actually good at his job?

  9. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Shoe – I wish Josh would stop squawking about the essential nature of these creatures. At least, leave it off of this site and just Tweet about it. All this indignation is never going to take off, especially if there is no systematic plan and he is always just winging it. We rely on this site to crap all over daily newspapers’ comics section, not to go pecking around at the fundamental biology in Shoe. Just feather over the conflict and move on!

  10. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-That’s alright there isn’t any money in Peter’s wallet.

    A3G-If the door is that hot then Margo is already dead.

    Dick Tracy-And now you know the rest of the story. Good day.

    Crankshaft-Look it even has the two separate entrances.

    FC-”This isn’t how I play doctor at the house down the street.”

    FW-”All dad could do is make awful awful puns.”

    MT-”Uhm, Mark, hi it’s me Rusty. Do you remember me? I’m standing right behind you.”

    MW-But none of them have Mary Worth with them who with but a few spoken words to the judges will get them to make you the winner.

  11. Brownsfan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    If Crankshaft’s buddy remembers the Centerville PO from the 30′s, that makes him about 90 years old. Shouldn’t his relatives have him in assisted living, building this in the activities room, rather than letting him navigate creaky basement stairs? Seems irresponsible somehow.

  12. pugfuggly
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Shoe I read the Perfesser’s expression more along the lines of “I can’t believe I’m going to watch this. Stupid missing remote control and lack of social life….”

    Crankshaft I really hope this is the new format for Crankshaft: just a panel-a-day of Cranky wandering around, being a dick to people about the things that bring them joy.

    “Playing the piano is such a useless skill.”
    “Why are you on the basketball court? You’re obviously crap at it.”
    “Tending to that gravestone isn’t going to bring your brother back, you know.”

  13. Little Blue Bicycle
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    “Speaking of old people, here’s Crankshaft shitting on his friend’s hobby, just to be a jerk.” No, he’s just indulging in his hobby. Now if it had been something manly like collecting vintage comic books at a local store, in some Fringey Batiuk universe other than this one….

  14. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    FW – So, now, when his father spouts nonsense or just uses the wrong words in the wrong context, it will be tragically depressing and not pure whimsy? Waaaay ahead of you on that one, Tom, we’ve found the malaprops and puns to be sad and tragic all along.

  15. Mibbitmaker
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Crank: I wasted alot of time reading this strip! (this particular one)

    Shoe, meta: “For me to poop on!” — Triumph the insult comic dog

    RMMD: Dark, barren eyes. A bad omen!

    MW: “CAN’T YOU TELL BY MY DRAMATIC LIGHTING?!!”

    FW: The most grief-soaked wail of soul-killing woe in the glurgiest, most extreme form possible, bespeaking unimaginable agony turned up way past eleven — THAT would be an understatement in this series!

  16. Daniel
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Well, now we know how terrible a Shoe punchline has to be before the characters can’t even be bothered with the Goggle Eyes of Horror.

  17. wossname
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Anyone else finding Darkgate completely unresponsive? I’m having to choose my comics, one at a time, on PI! So labor intensive!! It does remind me which ones I really care about reading.

    MT – Missing panel 2: “Rod Bassy told me that he wins many bass tournaments because he is the best fisherman and he catches the most bass! That is the secret of his success!”

    MW – Whoa, look at that moody, noir lighting in panel 2! But Giella, before you go all artistic on us, why don’t you learn to draw hands?

    Slylock – I was going to say something snotty about how long eyelashes always signify female, but then I realized this is a lot better than giving the lady fish a pink bow in her hair scales. Or boobs.

    JP – “Tough on April, yeah yeah. But look at this perfect strand of al dente spaghetti. It looks like a beautiful worm! Far out! Did you ever really look at your spaghetti?”

  18. pugfuggly
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    A3G After trying the door once, Greg wanders into the kitchen in search of a glass of wine over which to ponder his next move.

    FW Gosh, this could be the most depressing comic strip ever. Whoops, I think I topped your record for understatement, Girl-Darrin.

    MT Wow, this could be Mark Trail’s Nixon-Frost moment. I guess that makes Catfish Kissenger?

  19. Droopy Says
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @Brownsfan (#11): @Brownsfan (#11): It’s a model-building thing–you research the bejeezus out of what you want to build, then put in as much detail as you can manage. The subject doesn’t have to be anything from your lifetime; I’ve got a growing number of WW I aircraft on my shelves. Accusations of OCD only encourage this behavior.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    corgi heaven.

    Baka Gaijin and Sequitur got their nightmares crossed. *creepy, nsfbg*

    so, I heard you like to float while you float.

    it’s bat-eared foxes week on Daily Squee. the next best thing to fennecs and corgum.

    TDP: yup, another retriever.

    corgi ears <. . v

    corgi floof. ^. .^

    Bella likes snow days and grading papers. (corgi pandering for bb,u)

  21. Mr. Magoo
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    I love how you posted an add for bird cages at PetSmart. How appropriate!

  22. Mibbitmaker
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Abbey in JP, Greg in 3G…

    It’s
    “Inappropriate Facial Expression Day”

    Margo’s probably dead: Bland expression!

    April’s dad’s gonna die: Wry grin looking at spaghetti!

    Reading FW: Bright, sunshiny smile!

    It’s going to be a big one, folks!

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    @Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist (#7): Love Is. . . .orgasms on hashish.

  24. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    This Superhero stuff is hard! The Hero stuff isn’t that easy, either!

  25. AdHocGrip
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Hey, would someone remind Evan’s that it’s Fahrenheit 451, not A Clockwork Orange? And Toni’s doing the wrong eye anyway.

  26. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20):

    Hey, Baka! Get your nightmares off my lawn!

    Dang. The lawn needs mowing.

  27. StriderGirl
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Isn’t George the one who’s always getting his mailbox knocked over by Crankshaft’s school bus? Maybe he’s building authentic replica post offices as a sort of wistful commentary on all the important pieces of mail he may have missed over the years as a result of Crankshaft’s poor driving… and Crankshaft has picked up on that, and is mocking him for daring to hope and/or dream that someday, somehow, he will receive his mail on time without tire tracks and shreds of mailbox ground into it. Not that that’s any less depressing than Josh’s suggestion…

  28. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): all I could think of was that Kit was heading indoors to use the loo.

  29. Powers
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Shoe: What, it’s not enough that they’re occasionally shown flying?

  30. Johnnycakes
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: If in the first panel you have an exacto knife lying on the workbench, then in the following one it should be protruding from someone’s [Crankshaft's] eye.

    Where is my second panel?

  31. nescio
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    I think it’s just that while Crankshaft is no longer illiterate, he still instinctively has no interest in a Post Office.

  32. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#5): Re: Luann.

    “Ouch! You’re a lot rougher than TJ! But, at least you just put the makeup on my face, you don’t make me draw Ann Eiffel’s face on my butt cheeks the way he does!”

  33. Holly Folly
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Wait, is Crankshaft actually meant to be funny?

  34. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Holly Folly (#33): Crankshaft is about as funny as screen doors on a submarine.

    //Sorry. I haven’t said that since I was a kid. I should have left it in the late 50′s/early 60′s.

  35. Hibbleton
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: The love of my life might be burning to death on the other side of this door! Meh, what are you going to do?

    MT: Catfish, yeah, but have you met Flounder? He’ll be along for comic relief a few panels down.

  36. Greg
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Shoe: That TV is coming perilously close to the Perfesser’s crotch. And I do mean perilously.

  37. Voshkod
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: You could make the same joke work in Funky Winkerbean by replacing “the Centerville Post Office from the 1930s” with “the most recent mass grave we’ve had to dig.” The rest of the dialogue can be kept without edits.

  38. Amateur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MW: “It’s such a big deal that I’m growing black mold on my face!”

  39. Signal 30
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Shoe-
    The Perfesser with a flat screen TV?

    Does not compute.

  40. Signal 30
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Shoe addenum-

    Perhaps it’s one of those mirrors you see in birdcages.

  41. wossname
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): Actually, Kitty appears to be eating the rope. She’ll be puking up hairballs rope balls in an hour or two.

  42. TheDiva
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Anything which brings joy, happiness, or beauty into the world is a waste of time to Crankshaft.

    Shoe: I’ll bet the makers of Young Guns II (which, among other things, explores the legend that Billy the Kid didn’t die at Pat Garrett’s hand but survived into old age) are kicking themselves for not thinking of William the Geezer as a film title.

  43. cheech wizard
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Shoe – When Jeff MacNelly was still doing the strip, you’d sometimes see the characters flying. And isn’t Roz’s place still depicted as perched on a tree limb? Overall, I think you have to grant that the depiction of avian life in Shoe is at least as realistic as the way teenagers are portrayed in Luann.

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

  45. Ian Beste
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    FC “Sorry, kid, you’ve got too much blood in your gravystream.”

  46. TheDiva
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    9CL: Two things I never wanted to see in close proximity to each other: “obscene” and “knock-knock joke.” (Does Brooke know any non-obscene jokes? I doubt it.)

    A3G: His is expression is not so much “Oh no, the woman I might have deep feelings for could by dying in a horrible manner right now!” and more “Should I have Chinese or a hamburger for lunch…?”

    BRSG: You would be surprised at how many people do not get that joke. Well, maybe you wouldn’t.

    FW: Jessica faces every Westview inhabitant’s nightmare…forcing themselves to empathize with someone else’s pain.

    Luann: So you smudged ink on the strip and had to figure a way around it, huh Evans?

    MW: He’s touching his hand to his cheek, it must be serious!

    Pibgorn: I looked through the strips I missed over the weekend, and I still have absolutely no context for this. I think this is the point where McEldowney’s self-ministrations became so energetic he lost the plot.

    Pluggers: Since when do Pluggers stay up for Leno?

    SM: It takes a special kind of superhero to get mugged in the middle of nowhere in the American southwest.

  47. Binder's Butter Beans
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    FW: Haha, Darin’s wife whose name I’m too lazy to go look up! Yes, you did set some kind of record for understatement, but this is the Funkyverse; you were supposed to smirk while saying it. Ten points off for actually looking depressed whilst saying something depressing.

  48. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): Re: Pib

    So, first the penis-head genie appeared from the soda can. He granted a wish that the troll’s video game avatar would become his real-life, Barbara Eden Genie. But, the avatar isn’t cooperating. And, I think, penis-head got trapped in the Succubus’ bagina (sic) when he flew into it and is unable to fulfill his duties? So this other genie was sent instead? Except, there was some setup before all this with her being forced to become a genie, and agree on a set of heels and hose, although she has no legs when she manifests, so that doesn’t make sense either.

  49. Doctor Handsome
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Damn, I think I actually like Ed Crankshaft in this rare moment of lucidity. He’s insulting Batiuk’s other dumb characters instead of me, the reader. I’ll savor it, since tomorrow he’ll no doubt be back to trotting out more not-quite-malaprop, not-pun gems.

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#35): MT: Catfish, yeah, but have you met Flounder? He’ll be along for comic relief a few panels down.

    Flounder used to send fan mail to this guy all the time:

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_B-rn-1R2HmQ/RtSZmnRCgOI/AAAAAAAAAl0/98UAxnuSZm0/s400/bullwinkle.gif

  51. Shrug, About to Spring
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#y324):

    “They’ve stopped putting those Bibles in the kids’ waiting rooms. They heard Joshua judges Ruth, and they’re just not into that kind of narrow-mindedness.”

    The stopped putting calendars there too. The kids were asking each other things like “Hey, didja hear that April may? Snicker snicker.”

  52. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#Y404): Abbey Spencer, critical cook!: Their budget won’t stretch to a kitchen timer, or even a clock, so she has to subject the spaghetti to testing by feel.

    Do you really think that’s odd? I seldom use a timer for pasta, but even when I do, I always test it in the last minute or two of cooking, to get the exact texture I want. I think most cooks do that.

  53. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT – “Bluegill”, “Rod Bassy”, “Catfish”??? …So, does this mean that the tournament official who’s responsible for keeping an eye out for cheaters is named WALL EYE, the lesser experienced fishermen who can’t even manage to stay in the damn boats are called SINKERS and those fortunate enough to know how to swim are called BOB?

  54. MySpoonIsTooBig
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    9CL- I’m not sure many knock knock jokes are noted for their obscenity, but there’s no obnoxious sex and no obnoxious Thorax(redundant as that is), so I’ll let it slide.

  55. Voshkod
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Greg (#36): You may have just solved a mystery of the Shoeverse. If that TV has always been that close to the Professor’s crotch, that might explain why the only child bird in the house is a nephew and not a son.

  56. Binder's Butter Beans
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#53): Silly, BOB can only float. The ones who can swim are called CRAPPIE.

  57. Shrug, Who Had a Crush on Andrea Martin
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @Girl Reporter (#y353):

    “The University of Georgia gives an annual Sandy Beaver Award for Excellence in Teaching.”

    Sounds like those teachers must display a lot of grit.

    On SCTV (a Canadian show, of course. . .), one of the minor characters portrayed by Andrea Martin was a roving reporter type named “Tawny Beaver.” She had to keep insisting “it’s pronounced Bee-Vay!”

  58. Dennis Jimenez
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    They go running for the shelter of the Pluggers’ little helper – Old Milwaukee….

  59. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, About to Spring (#51): “Hey, didja hear that April may? Snicker snicker.”

    No, I hadn’t heard that! I think I need to March right over there and find out!

  60. Doctor Handsome
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    We’ve seen the nightmarish universe you deal with every day, Perfesser, yet you reserve your eye-rolling for unconvincing prosthetic makeup on Emelio Estevez. Odd choice.

  61. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MW-”My meddling power shall take care of the younger contestants. I shall leave them weeping sobbing piles of flesh.”

    A3G-That door looks more brown to me than red.

    JP-What will be tough on April is how her simple elopement is being turned into a massive complex wedding ceremony.

    JP 2-Do you think you should be bending that much over the pot? Your breasts are falling into it.

  62. Alter Ego
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    love is… when both of you put your hands on the stick to get that big payoff.

  63. Casino LF
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: So this is where John Patterson moves when he’s old …

    Crankshaft 2: The Centerville post office … that’s probably next to be closed and all the workers laid off …

    AS-M: So much for that “Spidey-sense” you supposedly possess.

    Luann: Uh, yeah, this is the most obvious way this arc goes, um …

  64. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#52): Isn’t there an old way of testing the texture of pasta by throwing the pasta up to the ceiling to see if it sticks? If it sticks I guess you peel it off the ceiling and toss it back in the pot? And if it doesnt stick to the ceiling but lands on the floor it’s ready to be eaten? (Mark Trail has tested this theory while on an outdoors camping adventure and found that if the pasta doesn’t stick to the tree limbs, but instead lands in the dirt, it adds to the flavor).

  65. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    9CL-The penist might have told you the knock knock joke in the first place.

  66. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#56): Thank you, I stand corrected…CRAPPIE it is!

  67. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

  68. pastordan, lazy professor
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Is Darkgate down for anyone else? I’m not sure I can adequately waste time at the office with just Daily Ink.

  69. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    9CL – Good thing Edda didn’t tell him the joke. We recently established that her merely whispering into Amos’ ear causes him to lose consciousness and dissolve into a puddle on the floor.

  70. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): re Pibgorn: in my quest to Make Sense of This Plot, I have to renumber the new strips every three or four days, or I absolutely lose any context or continuity that it apparently has in BMcE’s brain. Honestly, it doesn’t help much.
    I still have one strip outstanding that for the life of me, I have no idea where it fits in…

  71. Ratiocinator
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    @Powers (#29): For those who haven’t seen it:

    http://joshreads.com/?p=1551

    FW: At least nobody is smirking today.

    JP “Yes, that must be tough on her. I wonder what that’s like, to care whether somebody lives or dies. I wouldn’t know, personally; talking about the suffering of strangers bores me so much that I feel compelled to closely inspect this noodle just to give myself something more interesting to do.”

    Luann: Thanks Evans, now I have a phobia of mascara. Not because I have anything against men wearing makeup in general, but because it’s fucking Brad. Do. Not. Want.

    Pibgorn: Thanks McEldowney, for that excellent rear view of a man maintaining a death-grip on his own asshole.

    Slylock: The true love between these two fish is so powerful that it allows them to drink a milkshake underwater without the contents floating off or getting ruined, in defiance of the very laws of physics!

  72. Mibbitmaker
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Schnooke McEldowney Corner

    Glibporn: No one needs to see that!!!

    9CL: Nah, I liked the Pez dispenser at the recital on Seinfeld MUCH better!

    (having said that, I didn’t mind the 9CL that much today)

  73. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    “Gee, Mark, can I have a nickname, too? Like Phallostethus?”

    “Sure you can, Rusty. But let us keep it simple, so the good, plain folks around here do not think we are too uppity. Okay, Penis-Head Fish?”

    “Okay!”

  74. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#65): The guy walked into the bar, sat on a bar stool and saw a tiny stage behind the bar with it’s curtain drawn closed. A note behind the bar announced the next performance would begin at noon. At noon the tiny curtain opened, a tiny 12 inch tall man in a tuxedo walked out on the stage, sat down at a beautiful tiny grand piano and played a beautiful concerto. After finishing the piece he got up and walked off the stage as the curtain closed. Flabbergasted, the bar patron asked the bartender where he found such an amazing tiny fellow with such talent. The bartender said, “I was walking on the beach and found this old oil lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. For freeing him, the genie grated me one wish, but that damn genie must have been hard of hearing because I sure as hell didn’t ask him for a 12 inch PENIST!” (I think this joke is probably older than that oil lamp!)

  75. Marked Trail
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    I would enter a fishing tournament, but I know I would just flounder.

    You know, almost anyone can tune a piano but I have yet to find someone who can tunafish.

  76. Clikky the Safetypinhead
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    How many “obscene knock knock jokes” are there anyway? I can only think of one (and that only because, according to urban legend, telling it on the air on WLS was what got popular disc jockey Dick Biondi banned from the airwaves in 1963.

    Knock knock

    Who’s there?

    Wilma

    Wilma who?

    Wilma finger do until I can get my pants off?

  77. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    How does Crankshaft get invited to anything? Excepting elaborate plots to kill him in painful and humiliating ways, of course.

  78. Old Folkie
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    MT: Rusty has not yet been kidnapped, run away, or drowned, evidently…
    RMMD: Coincidence, or are they weighing in on the current gun control debate?
    MW: Dill has a rare condition – anxiety blackface…
    H&L: As long as Thirsty’s in the garage, he might as well fix that radiator leak.
    A3G: There were flames coming thru the outer door, but none in the apt?
    Luann: Clever, Brad – you got to put on mascara without giving away that you’re gay…

  79. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12): I really hope this is the new format for Crankshaft…

    Me too! “Tending to that gravesite…” Hah!

    // BTW, you sure waste a lot of time on this website…

  80. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#77): “How does Crankshaft get invited to anything”

    please, by all that is good and pure, let it NOT be the reason that the Lockhorns get invited places.

  81. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    *watches a very damp squirrel mosey across the lawn*

    *glad that Tu’i isn’t here to be barking and whining to be let out into the rain*

  82. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#24): Heh!

    // I’m thinking, maybe Kit’s costume needs a little updating… I’ve got all these Zippy outfits I’ve been clipping. No, that would just be silly, wouldn’t it? Do you have any Clown-9′s I could borrow?

  83. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82): Dress him like Crankshaft with the slacks, wind breaker and ag-cap. Then the Phantom could actually sneak up on people because he’d look like everyone else.

  84. Viktor
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Brownsfan (#11): I know youre being funny, but a lot of people in their 90′s still live independently. He should look older, tho…..

  85. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#65): 9CL-The penist might have told you the knock knock joke in the first place.

    No, I think the 9 inch “penist” was from a “guy walks into a bar” joke.

  86. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, lazy professor (#68): Is Darkgate down for anyone else?

    Me too. I had to open three Seatle Pi, one GoComics, and one Houston Chron, windows to get through my daily read. I load the comic in one window, read the next, load the next one, und so weiter. Works ok, but I miss the Slurper!

  87. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#85): Apologies to my hometown pal, @Illustrator Steve (#74): who was already on the case!

  88. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    about 3:52 in.

    *muWAH!* “goodnight everyone!”

  89. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: “Why? WHY?” – Me, after learning that there are still people who watch Jay Leno.

    Edge City: Go with what you know, Abby. Therefore, the book should be called How To Be A Neurotic B*itch And Annoy The Hell Out Of Everyone.

    Funky: So, is this the week this strip officially becomes a parody of itself? Assuming that didn’t already happen years ago.

  90. Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    The past couple days of Frazz would have been much better if the kid’s name was Rod Crappie. Sorry, Mr. Mallett, advantage Jackelrod!

  91. Dood
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#58): Cooking fresh food for a plugger’s just a drag
    Do they eat fresh-cut meat or want cracked corn?
    Do they bark or squawk or peep, even when they’re fast asleep?
    She goes running for the shelter of the plugger’s little helper…

  92. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    MT: Just because I can.

  93. greghousesgf
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft has friends?!

  94. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): FWIW here’s my recollections on what’s happened to get us to this point in Pibgorn- After appearing in a number of places to grant wishes (none of which we were shown, due to lack f imagination on Brooke’s part), Djinn appeared out of the bean-soda can. The Djinn fell in love with the avatar-girl on first sight, and took her out of the gme, whereupon she sliced him into pieces. The universe (who is apparently a Buffy fan0 then caused Dru and Pib to be sucked through wormholes to the Djinn’s home, and to become genies (or, at least, to change clothes). The Djinn, meanwhile, re-formed himself, and granted the Troll’s wish to have the avatar become his “TV genie” (which sounds like something you’d buy off an infomercial). Pib and Dru attempt to escape, but fail, burning Dru to a crisp (but she got better). The troll sends Djinn back through the wormhole, but that wormhole somehow also sucks Pib and Dru up, sending them on a collision course with the Djinn, who ends up impaling Dru, bringing her back to his home. Pib continues on, and is somehow seen by her robot/alien/whatever pal flying through the sky. Djinn and Dru have their Casablanca moment, and flashbacks. Pib appears out of the bean can.

    That hurt my brain.

  95. Gal Friday
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    MW Judging by the inky blackness that has descended into Mary’s car, Team Dill has already made its Faustian pact with Satan.

  96. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#71): “it’s fucking Brad. Do. Not. Want.” – It’s f–ing Brad that wants.

  97. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    That ‘nobody’ wants. Oops. In the sense that, you know, nobody wants to…oh, forget it.

  98. pugfuggly
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#79):

    Commenting on other people’s comments on the internet? What a loser…!

    …oh wait….crap!

  99. Horace Broon
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    BB: “I need to write some of the words on the crossword backwards in order to fit an arbitary rule I’ve set myself.” “Have you ever been tested for OCD?”

    MT: “A man called Catfish is Rod’s business partner but he never fishes with him. He never even stays to watch, he just disappears with a wetsuit and dynamite.”

    Phantom: “The storyline that’s been going on since September ends here!” We can but hope.

    S4th: So Nora is Magrat to their Esme and Gytha. Who wouldn’t want to go back to that?

  100. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#94): An astonishing performance! (claps)

    // Could we have that again, please? This time in verse, in the style of Alexander Pope, or Ogden Nash?

    No? Nevermind.

  101. astroboy
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    No Mary Worth today? B-b-but…PANEL #2! Mr. Dill turns into Satan before our very eyes!

  102. Amos Snarkadder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @ #27 StriderGirl
    Keesterman’s Revenge: Every evening George carefully rolls a scale model of a school bus onto the train tracks and stalls it. He pours a glass of Scotch sits and sips and imagines the tiny driver struggling to open the door. But he can’t – it’s jammed, and the tiny driver panics and begins to kick and scratch at the door, then the windows. All the while the train is getting nearer, nearer. Now it’s picking up speed, and with that much weight and momentum, it’s no longer possible to stop the train from slamming into the bus and its single doomed occupant. Even if the engineer wanted to.

  103. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    ASM – I have to question the effectiveness of robbing hitchhikers. They are unlikely to have money, or else they wouldn’t be hitchhiking. Of course, this pretty much means the driver/robber is precisely as effective as the big-time super villains Spidey encounters, or Spidey himself, so I suppose this universe is consistent, if nothing else.

    A3G- I call shenanigans! The new James Bond could see the flames getting higher last week- now they’re behind the door?

    Of course, it’s not that surprising the door to Margo’s room is red-hot- I always assumed the portal to hell would be.

    @Mibbitmaker (#22): Inappropriate Facial Expression Day continues in Mary worth, where John Dill, while expressing his basic worries about the contest, has the look of a man who realized he just activated a bomb.

    Luann- Man, Brad’s a whiny little bitch, isn’t he?

    Gil Thorpe- Just going to mention that the story is going just as I predicted a couple of weeks ago (http://joshreads.com/?p=16030#comment-1368192). I’m proud as a … nevermind. (Next, Mia should be making some sort of peacock-themed pins or wristbands for the team. Let’s see if I’m right!)

    Yeah, my A3G wasn’t right (except for Greg “saving the day”), Rex hasn’t happened (yet), and Pibgorn- well, that was a gimme.

  104. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

  105. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100): But thank you.

  106. Government Cheese
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I’m not sure, but I think that Evans accidentally made an ink blotch in the 3rd panel and said “fuck it” and wrote the dialogue around the panels. However, that still doesn’t explain why Toni was applying makeup on Brad? Maybe the original plan was to make him beautiful (relatively speaking).

    MW: I’m lovin’ Dill’s face in the second panel, as the shading goes dark. What the font doesn’t convey is that he’s actually screaming at the top of his lungs and after screaming “IT’S JUST THAT THIS IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME” he bellows out an Axl Rose screech “AYYY AYYY” right afterwards.

  107. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Crank: This is where Keesterman bangs Crank over the head with a brick and keeps him locked in the basement, a-la Granthony-style, as revenge for always knocking over his mailbox.

  108. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100): But still no. (Plus, I’m going into tech week for Fiddler on the Roof, so apologies in advance if I start making even less sense than usual in the comments this week.)

  109. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Is Shoe a rerun? In Young Guns, Billy the Kid was young. In Young Guns II, the tale is told by an aged man claiming to be Billy the Kid. That flick is like 20 years old. So it’s either a rerun or the Shoe artist was watching late night cable and caught a rerun. “A joke better suited to the late Clinton era? Yeah, that’s topical. Poignant. Relevant! I’ll post it on the internet, which I think may still have been the ARAPNET at that time.”

  110. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    JP: Sam and Abbey are right on the verge of bursting out laughing the next time one of them mentions April’s dying father, aren’t they?

  111. Amos Snarkadder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Luann – I never imagined I’d say this, but can’t we get back to Luann and her career crisis? Because I really really don’t want to see Brad wearing Toni’s panties tomorrow.

  112. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#103): re: ASM: I had exactly the same thought: what a stoopid criminal! And yet, I’m still expecting Peter to end up on the side of the road without his wallet.

  113. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

  114. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I don’t care what’s going on here, but I’d like Ginger to find me naked in the closet. “Yah, I’ve got yer pistol right here, babe. An’ I ain’t shootin’ no blanks, heh heh.”

  115. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20): Sometimes, I have to apologize to my students when I return papers bearing the effects of Lolly lying and/or slobbering on them.

  116. mumbles
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    The only benefit to Crankshaft today is that it reminds me of something actually funny – the train set scene in “A Mighty Wind.”
    “I would love to see Crabbville in autumn.”
    “It’s Crabb Town.”

  117. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#108): Well, ok, but you can’t blame a fella for asking.

    // I bet Uncle Lumpy would do it!

  118. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    SM: At first, I’m thinking “Yawn, Spidey is just going to gum up the gun and go on senselessly hitchhiking to SF.” But this is the guy who would save his identity at the risk of letting his wife die right in front of him. So now we have another Parker dilemma of revealing his identity versus getting his wallet stolen. Since you’re so broke that you’re bumming a ride in the middle of the desert, just give him the wallet, you putz.

  119. Marc
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    9CL- Obscene knock knock jokes eh? The punch line wouldn’t happen to be “orange you glad I didn’t say banana again” would it?

    A3G- Settle down everyone, the room isn’t on fire. Margo is just conferencing with Satan.

    Mark Trail- Boy oh boy I sure can’t wait to meet Catfish. He sounds like quite the interesting fellow. I’m sure Rusty would like to meet him too. Say, where is the kid? I haven’t seen him since we arrived.

    Mary Worth- Baking cakes is far and away the youth activity with the most widespread participation in Santa Royale, finishing ahead of playing sports, hanging out at the mall, and giving each other blowjobs under the high school bleachers.

    Funky- They probably shouldn’t have left Coach Anal alone. Now that we know how much she hated her husband, she’s probably on the way up to his room to pull the plug right now.

    Luann- This is so disturbing on so many levels. Why does Bwad continually watch his mother apply makeup? Why does Toni feel the need to apply yet another layer of mascara while sitting on the couch watching tv with Brad? Why did she smear it on his face, and why did Brad enjoy it? Christ, what a clusterfuck.

    Archie- Reggie is totally going to bang Veronica tonight.

  120. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#115): When a man bites a dog, that’s news. And when a teacher tells her student that the teacher’s dog ate the student’s homework…

  121. Stroker Ace
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Unspeakable filth! No need to see Crank exposing his shaved groin.

  122. terrapin
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: “And just for the halibut, I’m going to talk to his gill-friend. He showed me a pickerel of her he keeps in his walleye.”

    Sorry.

  123. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Crank really has his assholishness buffed to a high sheen today.

    “You’re an old man, George. You don’t have much time left on this Earth, you know. And yet, instead of enjoying these fleeting moments, you engage in some foolishness that your 4 year old great-grandson will crush when he plays with his Godzilla set while the rest of your family is at your funeral. Even now, I see the ragages of old age taking their toll. The large vein in your forehead is getting larger, your face is getting discolored, too. Oh, great, heart attack. There ya go! See? No time to appreciate the sheer ecxtasy of sucking the joy out of others.”

  124. Government Cheese
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    @Stroker Ace (#121): Now now, no one needs to see those wrinkly bits.

  125. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    S-M — While we wait for Peter Pauper to hand over his wallet to the Amazing Robber-Man, here’s an actual unretouched photograph of Spider-Meh’s plus-sized nemesis, the Kingpin:

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzejdttTmu1qaxnilo1_500.jpg

    All kidding aside, that’s a photo of W.C. Fields (as Humpty-Dumpty!) from the 1933 “Alice in Wonderland” film. Today happens to be Fields’ 133rd birthday, so happy b-day, man!

  126. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#17): Would you read an animal comic in which the varied characters could be sexed by the actual features in which they were identifiable in life, and such features were explained for you in a little footnote each day? I would!

    //The female iguana lacks the jowls and fatty deposits behind the eyes that are characteristic of the male.

  127. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#115): d’awwww.

    *whosagooddog*

  128. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois-”Hi, on your way out can you attach this tube to my tailpipe and close the garage doors.”

  129. Mardou Fox
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Batuik should just officially rename Crankshaft Bastard.

  130. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo set fire to her own apartment so Greg could appear as a real-life hero to the press. Who said she wasn’t any good at it?

    Oh, that was me who said she sucked at PR.

  131. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Spiderman-”Oh why didn’t my Spider sense warn me of this guy having a gun.”

    Gil Thorp-I can’t wait for when the Coach finds out about the peacock and kills it because only he can be a source of inspiration for the athletes.

    FW-That is what you get for trying to get him to pronounce medical terms.

  132. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#64): If it sticks to the wall it’s done; if it sticks to the ceiling it’s overdone. You do that only when you’re renting.

    @bats :[ (#70): I think it’s meant to be artistic that the strips don’t make sense until you get to the one that indicates that the preceding four were about the succubus mind-melding with the penis-head. Possibly there’s another strip at the end that will indicate that all the previous ones were about a guy with a box of kleenex.

    @Illustrator Steve (#74): The joke works better in text if you spell it pianist.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#86): I Open All In Tabs and go make breakfast while they load.

    @Rip Houndstooth, Man Of Action (#89): They don’t have Tivos and don’t like women’s boxing.

  133. Amos Snarkadder
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    MW – Mary must be thinking, “Oh, crap, what have I gotten myself into?”
    She’s going to have to hold him up throughout the whole contest. Even at the big move from the work table where Dill will stumble, Mary will pull some heroic maneuver and save the cake. They’ll surprise everyone and win first prize and Dill will make a speech and give Mary all the credit.
    Darn. I hope that she at least pulls a hamstring.

  134. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Mr. Catfish, why does your partner win so many contests?

    Catfish: We don’t cheat, officer! I’m not telling you anything. There’s no proof!

    Mark: I’m not a cop! I want to know your secrets so I can print them for the world to read!

    Catfish: Oh, in that case this is how we cheat… need to sharpen that pencil?

  135. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Gal Friday (#95):

    The pact was already made when Dill asked Mary for help.

  136. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G: In lieu of locking her apartment door, Margo uses electrified doorknobs as a security measure.

    BC/b> could make sense if the guy with the sign were protesting the non-availability of raw milk cheeses in his state prehistoric administrative district.

    DT: Two questions: 1. would most Americans expect the name Baux to be pronounced bo or box? and 2. had an explanation been provided in the past for a person being named “Sweatbox” or is this a clever retrofit. Because it is clever. As is the hit-me-over-the-head method of linking the two, because it would otherwise not occur to me to pronounce Baux as box.

    Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics fame is part of the creative team behind Galaga, the so-far fascinating comic strip of the 1980s video game.

    Today’s SMBC features an extended quotation from Albert Camus.

  137. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    As I hit post I thought, “You didn’t preview that” and “Meh, it wasn’t that complicated, what could go wrong?”

  138. Shrug Luxuryacht
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#136):

    “1. would most Americans expect the name Baux to be pronounced bo or box? ”

    Neither. It’s “Throat-Wobbler-Mangrove” all the way.

  139. damanoid
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    At least the Perfesser isn’t staring in goggle-eyed horror at the T.V. Although it seems like he should at least be looking at it… Come to think of it, what is he looking at? Is he… is he seeing us? Is he breaking the fourth wall? Dear God, is “Shoe” about to turn into “Crock,” where every limp punchline is accompanied by a commiserating gaze at the reader, except with “Shoe” they’ll also be doing the eye-goggle thing? HORROR-GOGGLING RIGHT AT US?!

  140. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Apartment 3-G is proof positive that Margo’s too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.

  141. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t the progression be
    Billy the Kid
    Billy the Surly Adolescent
    Bill the 20-Something Slacker
    Bill the 40ish Workaholic
    William the Unappreciated Dad of Teens
    William the Retiree
    and then the final chapter William the Geezer stretched into two parts?

    Don’t the owners of this movie franchise know ANYTHING about marketing?

  142. Inkwell
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, Josh, just because you want Perfesser droppings doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. In fact, it’s a very very bad idea. Bad Josh.

  143. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#136): Baux, Baux, Baux.

    rrrrrrrrrrubber biscuit!

    (with apologies to the Blues Brothers)

  144. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#52): I make pasta all the time and never use a timer. I can tell consistency just by stirring it up. I tell my family I do it by sense of smell, because I’m a well-known pasta junkie. If I were a Jamaican, I’d be a pastafarian. If I were a nut, I’d be a pastachio. If I were an action hero, my tag line would be “Pasta la vista, baby!” Ok, I’ll stop, but think of the pastabilities!

  145. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#115): And you hope your students believe that story.

  146. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @StriderGirl (#27): Maybe Crank considers it a waste of time because he plans on driving his bus through George’s basement at 7:45 the next day? “Thanks, George, for letting me scope the place. In 12 hours, you’ll have nothing but matchsticks and tears.”

  147. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#125): Wow, he looks good for his age.

  148. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#126): I have jowls and fatty deposits under my eyes, and yet am female. Luckily I do not yet have long, ever-growing teeth or a paddle-shaped tail on my, ahem.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#126): According to Sheldon Cooper, the rabbit’s scrotum is in front of its penis.

  150. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#144): FIFY: Ok, I’ll stop, but think of noodle on the pastabilities!

  151. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#141): You’re thinking of Billy from Family Circus.

  152. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#149): Only on male rabbits.

  153. Gringo
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Sexy Rex MD: The last panel reveals that the “friendly” strippers are, in fact, demonic zombie strippers, and their “fund-raising for Ginger” party is in fact a way to lure in victims and brains*.

    / * Given this crowd, not certain about the brains part

  154. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#130): Oh, that was me who said she sucked at PR.

    No, Margo sucks for PR, which is an entirely different matter altogether. It also explains such apparent inconsistencies as why we never see her actually promoting her clients, and why we never see what is going on below anyone’s waist.

  155. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Antiquated Tory (Y#408): “Here in Europe, this is pretty much diagnostic of American university students. It’s even more specific if the young person is a girl and she’s wearing carefully applied makeup with her pj’s.”

    I’m no fashionista, but I always disliked women who wore “designer” sweats with jewelry to the office. I used to get dressed in a shirt, tie, dress pants, and they come in with that and claim that it meets the dress code. When they wear real office wear with heels, they take off their heels and walk around the office barefoot. WTF? If I did half of that stuff, I’d get a pulled aside for an uncomfortable private chat.

  156. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#143): I just realized, if Americans pronounce Baux as “box”, then in the USA, PETA activists will throw paint on you for wearing a faux fur collar, pas de deux is more closely associated with cuisine than roux or noix are, and feux sauvages are much more of a turn on.

  157. I speak Jive
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Piranha Club – He got the recipe from an old biddy who served it at her condo pool party.

  158. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Poteet starts ‘em young.

    a little something for bb,u. (literary humor.)

  159. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20): AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I clicked before I saw the NSFBG. Who the hell thought THAT would be a good toy for children? A baby doll with a clown face holding a harlequin’s head in its hand. AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

    @Sequitur (#26): See above. And the grass should get much much taller so no one ever has to see that monstrosity ever again. I wonder if the Santa Royale Convention Center can grow grass taller than ugly pink cakes?

    @cheech wizard (#43): Damn, you’re right. You must have been bored today to make that connection.

  160. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#156): Andy Bear didn’t know how to make a roux, but he married one.

    *runs*

  161. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#94): where does the strip with the computer troll digging into his nose and his undies simultaneously go?

  162. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#148): The artwork in my hypothetical comic strip would be of sufficient quality that one could tell you were not, as you presumably are not, an iguana.

    //Female adult humans have two fatty deposits below the neck, and hips noticeably broader than the waist. Males have a pronounced brow ridge and often more muscled upper bodies. Wide disparity in diet and physical activity between individual members of the species may blur the utility of these characteristics for sexing humans.

  163. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#162): *resists googling for moobs*

  164. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#149): And the female rabbit ovulates in response to copulation. Apparently using the rabbit as a study model delayed full understanding of the human reproductive system.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#160): Are you saying they’re childless, or did Andy figure it out on their wedding night?

  165. Joshua
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: Since Jeff and Zipper are handling the mailbag this week, I would be very pleased to see them address the question about why it was Jeff instead of Zipper being jealous when Alex married Toggle. (“Sorry, I took Zipper’s script that week, he took mine, and we didn’t notice until it was too late that it made me look like I wanted to marry my niece.”)

  166. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#122): MT: “And just for the halibut, I’m going to talk to his gill-friend. He showed me a pickerel of her he keeps in his walleye.”

    Sorry.

    Holy macherel, terrapin, that was a crappie joke.

    Not sorry.

    @Baka Gaijin (#140): Today’s Apartment 3-G is proof positive that Margo’s too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.

    Margo’s too fancy for Hoboken Taxi and too hot for Church’s Chicken.

    @seismic-2 (#y360): Wikipedia lists ten colleges and universities in the USA whose athletic teams are known as the “Beavers”. It lists none that are known as the Phallostethus cuulongs. I think that would make a more formidable mascot costume.

    Geez, you’re probably the only person who hasn’t heard of the legendary*
    Sgt. Octavia and Her Howling Phallos:

    http://i124.photobucket.com/albums/p13/NBerlatsky/footballwcigar.jpg

    *Legendary because she invented the “T” shirt!

  167. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#162): Two fatty deposits below the neck – is that my chins, or my wattles? Though I do see Neanderthal brow ridges on some males, and I imagine them on most of the male Mudgeons, alas, the firmly muscled torso is rarely to be found.

  168. Majicou
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Coming to this post late as I did, and Darkgate being inaccessible as it is, I skipped from the first posts to the last posts to see what kind of insane digressions have happened today. Let me tell you, if you ever want to suffer intellectual whiplash…

  169. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#152): While “rabbit scrotum location”, “rabbit scrotum position,” and “rabbit scrotum in front” are common enough search terms that google recommended them to me as I typed, it’s not entirely true that the rabbit scrotum is located in front of the penis. The rabbit,I am told has testicles too large to be contained in only one scrotum, so therefore has two scrotal sacs, one located on each side of the penis. Judge for yourself whether they are more ahead or behind. Another peculiarity of the rabbit anatomy is he can and will retract his testicles fully inside his body when threatened.

  170. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    For instance, I imagine Liam looks like Lt. Worf.

  171. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#169): Judge for myself? I resent your implication, madame!

  172. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#169): I think the link you posted will cause a fair amount of withdrawal up into the abdominal cavity among Mudgeons of the unfair sex.

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#164): I’m somewhat abashed that I know that Andy & Sheila have at least one kid, and I believe two.

  174. William the Geezer
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#169): Beavers, rabbit genitalia, geez, what’s with you Canadians? “Lie back and think of Quebec”? (Or is that Trebek?)

  175. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#136): I’m pretty sure that Camus quote, allegedly from the Myth of Sisyphus, is actually from an old Mary Worth Sunday strip, a few cycles ago. The style is vintage Karen Moy!

  176. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#137): Your comment on BC struck me as unusually important — I can’t quite figure out why.

  177. User McUser
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft jealously admires how easily his friends are able to ride out the long, slow, torturous slide into the black-panel oblivion that awaits all characters in the Funky-verse. Being a jerk is just how he passes the time.

  178. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#167): The chins are generally above the neck and the wattles on the neck. The female’s distinctive fatty deposits are below the neck (sometimes a long way below) when she is sitting or standing upright. If the female is lying supine you may find them in her armpits.

    @Majicou (#168): Hey, this is for SCIENCE!

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#172): Human males often claim to have that ability, but none has been willing to demonstrate it to me. The implication in the article that it’s a special ability for the rabbit, and the fact that eunuchs predate general anaesthetic, lead me to suspect that this is simply another area in which men lie about what they can do with their genitals.

    //Female Oriental cockroaches are wingless, while the male Oriental cockroach displays short, clear wings.

  179. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#163): Perhaps that’s best. OTOH, you’d miss out of KRFX’s one-and-only “Fred Boobzilla” — so named because he once volunteered to have breast implants installed for a year in exchange for a Harley, only to be told that he really didn’t need implants (because of his moobs).

  180. Shrug, Just Making Sure
    January 29th, 2013 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#178):

    “If the female is lying supine you may find them in her armpits.”

    Oooh, a blanket permission! And if the female objects to my exploration of her armpits, may I simply say “But Aviatrix said I could”?

    //I’ll let you know how this works out.

  181. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#162): On the Internet, no one knows you’re an iguana.

  182. Ratiocinator
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#167): Would you settle for a firmly muscled brow ridge?

  183. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    @William the Geezer (#174): Well, if it’s this Trebek. (Thank you to Josh for posting this on Facebook.)

  184. mmre
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Shoe-Said to Crankshaft: “Amazing! Look at the people! Crankshaft, isn’t that you in there with your daughter?” That’d make him damn old.

  185. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#159): @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20): AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I clicked before I saw the NSFBG. Who the hell thought THAT would be a good toy for children? A baby doll with a clown face holding a harlequin’s head in its hand. AAAAAHHHH!!!!!

    Baka, I really feel for you. Fortunately, I happen to know where queek can get a *free* box to ship that creepy clown-faced baby doll back to its point of origin:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzvcQmkhznw

    NSFBG (Do I really need to say this?)

  186. mmre
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    @mmre (#184): Shoe? I must be on drugs. Meant to be “Crankshaft”

  187. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#175): @Aviatrix (#136): I’m pretty sure that Camus quote, allegedly from the Myth of Sisyphus, is actually from an old Mary Worth Sunday strip, a few cycles ago. The style is vintage Karen Moy!

    Or vintage Tom Armstrong. Because I’m equally sure that quote is originally from an old Marvin strip. (the “Myth of Poop and Pisyphus”?)

  188. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#185): That is hilarious. Creepy, evil, scary, and NSFBG. Coulrophobia inhabits a niche where it’s widely enough known to be the basis of an effective commercial, but still allowed to be an object of ridicule by a government agency. Or do they have other commercials where an obese person must return miniscule clothing and a blind person wants to send back a print book?

  189. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#159): Don’t worry. I’ll mow over that for you.

  190. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#170):

    What brought that up? I won’t ruin your mental image by saying what I really look. When you say Lt. Worf do you mean the actual character or the actor who plays him?

  191. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#190): Except for maybe #1, the Urban Dictionary has pretty good things to say about Liam.

  192. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#190): @Lumaca Morente (#170): What brought that up? I won’t ruin your mental image by saying what I really look. When you say Lt. Worf do you mean the actual character or the actor who plays him?

    For some reason, I’ve always pictured you as looking like actor Richard Whorf:

    http://www.therifleman.net/episodes/images/whorf-richard-epi88.png

    Considering that he strongly resembles a 1960s Klingon, I wouldn’t want to meet Dick Whorf in a dark alley. Or you, Liam, if you’re a Whorf lookalike.

  193. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    C-Shaft: Important, seemingly self-evident rule for hobbyists: Never tell Crankshaft about your hobbies.

    MW: From the darkening mood lighting and John Dill’s ever more sinister mustache, I take it that the cake decorating contest involves necromancy and hexing.

    WofI: “Oh, and while you’re at it could you restore the below-the-knee part of his left leg? They’re about to drop him from the track team.”

    Baldo: BOOKBLOCKED!

    JP: Abbey’s been taking understatement lessons from Jessica Darling-Fairgood over in Westview.

    Garfield: Aggressive merchandising and cheap interns, that’s how you can go on like this.

    H&L: “Shut the door on your way out, will you? I’m gonna run the engine for awhile.”

    GT: “It’s kind of weird getting the Hitler salute from all those white girls, though.”

    FC: “Congratulations, Jeffy. You’re expecting twins!”
    “Fuck you.”

    Luann: Wha? Mascara’s the easy part. Now eyeliner, that’s where the risk of eyeball stabbing comes in.

    S-M: The joke’s on this guy. Peter will spend so much time digging his own grave—whining all the way, of course—that he’ll fall asleep with the gun in his hand.

    H&J: Ezekiel must be worried that his family has that Simpsons trait where the men turn stupid when they hit puberty.

    A3G: Hey Greg, I’m not on her majesty’s secret service or anything, but it seems to me that you could use your sweater to insulate your hand and open the door. Unless you feel a chill coming on.

  194. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): Downhill.

  195. Mr Frog
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    DT: In a shocking plot twist, the random old guy that was briefly introduced out of left field and never mentioned since turns out to probably actually be important! I eagerly await the next shocking plot twist, in which a gun seen hanging over a mantelpiece in one strip is fired in a later strip.

    9CL: Gaah. This is the second strip in a row that easily could have been funny, were McE’s ability to construct a gag not on par with a broken-down AJGLU-1.

  196. gleeb
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#52): Yeah, I do find that odd.
    When cooking spaghetti, I’m dealing with two known qualities: water boiling at the same elevation my kitchen was last time I cooked spaghetti; and pasta from a known source. Now, if I were making my own noodles, and thus had more variation in the recipe, or if I lived on an airship that might be at a different elevation from day to day (and how cool would that be?), I’d need to test things. But given a known temperature* and a known pasta, I can trust to waiting for a measured time.

    *Or maybe if I were making spaghetti while the eye of a hurricane passed overhead. But i prefver sandwiches as disaster eats.

  197. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#165): Yeah, Jeff’s torch for Alex was a little icky. Assuming that Trudeau remembers which of his characters are related to whom – and I think he does because even in his less stellar moments he’s not a phone-it-in type guy – maybe Sorkh Razil has hillbilly aspirations.

  198. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#178): -imagines the circumstances of the proposed demonstration- *shudder*

  199. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#198): Shudder doesn’t cut it. I want retraction.

  200. Shrug
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#197):

    Didn’t some ‘mudge pass along at the time a comment hir had seen by Trudeau admitting that, in this case, he had indeed simply forgotten?

  201. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2013 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#200): That could be, I guess. I’ve been wrong about stuff before.

  202. Calico
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Phil Collins is/was a hobby train aificionado, and I understand that Neil Young bought at least part of the Lionel Co.

  203. KreatureFeatures
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    @Alter Ego (#62): Well done!

  204. Dood
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: “Ha, ha. Yeah, I ‘wasted’ a lot of time on the cemetary as well. Oh look, there’s your tombstone. ‘Lifelong A-hole,’ it says.”

  205. sighing maiden, still sighing
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#192): I picture Mr. Scudder looking like Benjamin Whorf, the linguist and proponent of Sapir-Whorf Theorem.
    //sociology teacher, remember

  206. Freakin Hemingwad
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#199): I’m finding it more and more surprising that you don’t get retraction.

  207. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#190): I’ll bet most of us have mental images of regular posters. Liam, I assume you are male (‘liam’ spelled backward is ‘mail’) and you have claimed to be relatively young. I picture you tall with pronounced brow ridges. Liam- Worf – Dorn – all have four letters. Coincidence? I think not.

  208. sighing maiden, still sighing
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    When introducing my students to Sapir-Whorf theorem, which posits that the language you speak influences the way you experience reality, I used to make a joke about Worf and Klingon. Was horrified to realize that college freshmen have no idea who Worf is.

  209. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#192):

    That guy looks like the opposite of what I look like.

  210. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#65): 9CL-The penist penis might have told you the knock knock joke in the first place.

    Fixed it for you.

    @Illustrator Steve (#74): I would not be at all surprised if this joke were in the back of McE’s head as he’s been drawing this. We’ve got the genie, we’ve had a Viagra bottle, we have a schmoe who wanted a love slave, and we’ve had a piano.

  211. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#209): So, you’re handsome, then?

  212. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#207):

    Tall, yes. And does thirty-four count as young?

  213. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Continuing my avoidance of the discussion of lupine genitalia…

    MW: Clearly John has been into Brad’s mascara.

    Spiderman: Not only are you “in the middle of nowhere,” Peter, but judging by the scenery and vegetation outside, you are also in southern Arizona, which means that you got in a car going the wrong way.

    (Seriously, the “nowhere” between Las Vegas and San Francisco looks nothing like this. Mountains and hills and lots of brown scrub is more what you’d expect, not mesas and saguaros.)

  214. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#210):

    Thanks. I wasn’t exactly sure how to spell what I wanted. I wanted a take off on pianist/penis jokes.

  215. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#208): That is disturbing. Has it really been that long since the show aired, or are these just students with no exposure to geek culture?

  216. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#214): It sort of works both ways, actually.

  217. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    @Lumaca Morente (#211):

    I am mainly of English and Irish ancestry with some Polish in there and this guy looks like he is of Mediterrenanean or Middle Eastern origin.

  218. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Smash the door down with the axe, Greg! That way we can see the same thrilling sequence twice in one week! Chop! Whack! Clip! Paste! Done!

  219. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#169): Are you saying Sheldon Cooper is wrong? Hmm.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#185): Free box? BOX! No, that thing needs to be stomped by an elephant, the elephant shot, cremated, buried in cement, and the crushed remains of that EVILSCARYCLOWNDOLL need to be burned in a non-vented incinerator until it’s reduced to molecular level or smaller. The incinerator then needs to be buried in cement and a grassy green meadow grown on top so no one has any reminder of the evil that once was. That’s just my humble opinion.

    @Sequitur (#189): NOOOOOO!!!!! Don’t sent tiny bits of that EVILSCARYCLOWNDOLL flying through the air at high velocities!!!! It could lodge into another animal(s) or plant(s) and transmogrify it/them into more EVILSCARYCLOWNMUTANTS. NO!

  220. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#202): Hey, Phil Collins is/was a hobby train aificionado, and I understand that Neil Young bought at least part of the Lionel Co.

    I don’t think Neil Young currently owns any part of Lionel LLC, but I’ve heard he
    still works as consultant for the company. Young also developed a digital control system for Lionel to make it easier for his two sons (both of whom have Cerebral Palsy) to operate the trains.

  221. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#217): So, you are handsome, then. Young and handsome. Blond?
    //scientific curiosity

  222. bats :[
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#164): The rabbit is an induced ovulator (as mentioned by Aviatrix — the female doesn’t release eggs for fertilization until she’s sexually stimulated). The same holds true for cats; that’s why the feline penis has ‘barbs’ on it, and why mating tends to be a loud, loud affair.
    (Okay, so anyone looking for barbs on the recent penis-headed comics characters?)

  223. sighing maiden, still sighing
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#215): You teach too, right? Ask your students. As far as I know, NG and DS9 are both still running on various TV stations. I’ll be curious to see if you get the same blank stares I did. (Michael Dorn – mmmm…)

  224. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#223): We have something in common!

  225. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#208): That is sad, somehow, but please do not send it in as a suggestion to “Pluggers”.

    Maybe there should be a geek version of Pluggers called “Trekkers”.

    Trekkers remember the original flip phone. “Beam me up, Scotty!”

    A Trekker’s danger sport involves wearing a red shirt. “Ensign Leibovitz, you’ll be accompanying the away team.” “Yes sir!”

    Trekkers empathy works like spider senses “I… I can’t sense him, Commander!”

  226. Hogenmogen
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#223): The complete series is on Netflix. They have no excuses!

  227. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#219): Unlax. I’ve got a grass catcher. It’ll go right in the compost.

  228. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#208): Well sure, he’s that guy that always took a dive to show how tough the bad guy was, from that show that was cancelled a couple of years before they were born. Why wouldn’t they know who he was?

    //I knew about Sapir-Whorf before Lt. Worf existed.

    //Captain Spock, however, seems to have outlasted Dr. Spock in popular culture.

  229. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#209): Seeing as that guy looks like he’s about to get punched by Mark trail, I must assume you look like Mark Trail. I’ve pictured you looking looking like one of the guys in Questionable Content. Tall, caucasian, clean-shaven, and closer to delicate than rough.

  230. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Anybody here look like Svengoolie?

  231. Shrug McCato, Channelling "Clownago Delenda Est!"
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#219):

    You forgot the part about the ground under which the clowny bits are buried then needing to be seeded with salt, so nothing will grow there.

    // Or maybe with smooshed custard pie?

  232. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

  233. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#227): Compost isn’t good enough. The mower would have to be incinerated until it’s molten metal and off-gassed plastics, sorta like the Dill-Worth cake, then this crushed by an elephant…and everything but the elephant entombed in concrete. The elephant’s ashes have to be handled separately.

    @Aviatrix (#228): Who’s Captain Spock? I’ve heard of Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock.

  234. Cloudbuster
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#162): A Google image search for “two fatty deposits below the neck” did not give quite the results I was looking for.

  235. Anonymous
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#99):

    MT: “A man called Catfish is Rod’s business partner but he never fishes with him. He never even stays to watch, he just disappears with a wetsuit and dynamite.”

    Some of the commenters on the the Comics Kingdom site may have actually nailed this one, and that’s close to what they’re calling. Catfish is under the Rod Bassy’s boat with a cage full of big fish that he hooks onto Rod’s lure. And I think I recall hearing something back in the 1980s about someone actually trying that … and getting caught.

  236. Government Cheese
    January 29th, 2013 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#234): Yeah. I’m sure that just brings up pictures of Honey Boo Boo’s mom.

  237. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug McCato, Channelling “Clownago Delenda Est!” (#231): Salting the earth? That’s a little Old Testament-y. Hm. I think salted earth would affect the hardness or durability of the concrete. I can’t take that chance. The evil must be kept away from humanity.

  238. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#233): How ’bout we get Mr. Spock to have Scotty beam them to the sun?

  239. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#238): Ooohh, great idea! To be absolutely sure the EVILSCARYCLOWNDOLL is completely destroyed and never to return, it must be dressed in a red shirt.

  240. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#213): Lupine! I’ve been preoccupied discussing lagomorph genitalia! Wolves manage to cram both testes into a single scrotum, but they keep it interesting by having, near the base of the penis, a bulbus glandis which swells up after insertion to ensure that the withdrawal method isn’t an option for them. Something to keep in mind for Catholic werewolves.

    //While researching this topic I learned that the wolf penises were digitally censored in the movie Twilight.

    @Baka Gaijin (#219): I’m saying that Sheldon Cooper didn’t realize that rabbit genitalia swings both ways.

    @Baka Gaijin (#233): You’ve probably never heard of him. He’s a pointy-eared logic guy from a show that had its whole run in the three years before humans landed on the moon. I vacillated on what rank to give him, as there were movies in which he got promoted. And died. And resurrected. And reset.

  241. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#239): Maybe queek can put the red shirt on it. I ain’t touchin’ the thing.

  242. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#234): I got ponies. I’m not going to think about what else I got. I’m just going to be happy about the ponies.

  243. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#240): Captain Kirk called him Mr. Spock. It’s tradition in the Navy for the captain to refer to his staff officers as “Mister.”

  244. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#233): You’re kind of hard on elephants. Couldn’t we have a special clown-crushing elephant that we just kept around for all clown-related tasks and worry about disposing of it after its death? That’s how they control clown infestations at circuses, right?

  245. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#243): I thought it was because Jim could never remember the guy’s rank.

  246. Sgt. Stoned
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’d say that Mark has a bad case of rod envy.

    MW: This has got to be the stupidest “Mary Worth” storyline ever, and that is quite an accomplishment.

  247. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#245): There’s that, too.

  248. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#223): I finally managed to gnaw my leg free of that trap, but my husband still teaches, so I’ll perhaps have him ask.

  249. Beavis and Butthead
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244): Heh, heh. You said hard on elephants. Heh, heh.

  250. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    @Beavis and Butthead (#249): Funny you should ask. It turns out to be not just the trunk that’s prehensile.

  251. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

  252. Arabella
    January 29th, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#232): 34 and brunette. OMG! You’re my daughter’s boy-friend-Liam! I never knew you were into comics!

  253. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#71):

    it allows them to drink a milkshake underwater

    They do that sort of thing in Sherman’s Lagoon all the time. Maybe it’s a new rule of cartoon physics.

  254. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#230): Anybody here look like Svengoolie?

    Or Tampa Bay horror TV host (“Creature Feature”) Dr. Paul Bearer?

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_k8gZ3oG7lPA/Sss3le6Xf5I/AAAAAAAAAu0/v22tfRU1PX0/s400/paulbear.jpg

    Dr. Paul’s “weird eye effect” was the result of one eye being made of glass.

  255. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#251): I didn’t even watch Voyager but I got all those. Who can’t guess what job would take pressure off food replicators or what Greek letter one would assign to one’s home quadrant? I think this is less Star Trek sadness and more high school student sadness. Or maybe they’re ace at knowing the names and dates associated with important historical events and scientific discoveries. (Just let me have my fantasy, okay?)

  256. Arabella
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella (#252): smart and handsome, too (my daughter has good taste)

  257. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#196): Well, there you are. IF I used the exact same brand and type of spaghetti, in exactly the same amount, in the same pot with the same amount of water each and every time, and did it often enough, (or took notes), I might rely strictly on a timer, too. But probably not: I would end up checking it in the last minute or so anyway, just out of habit. But since those ifs don’t apply to me, I always do check, and, as I said, I think most cooks do. Of course, like @Hogenmogen (#144), above, I can usually figure the doneness out just by stirring, with spaghetti anyway, so the Judge P. style test is mostly ritual for me. Nevertheless, it is one of the most normal things I’ve ever seen in the Spencer-Driver kitchen.

  258. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#230):

    Is that from the Johnny Depp Movie that Society Tried To Forget?

    //I almost typed: “Foghat”

    //oops, I did anyway.

  259. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#243): I think Spock’s rank was Commander in the original series. And he did eventually get promoted. Everybody does — it’s the Peter Principle.

    // Like Admiral Crunch, and Arch-Duke Chocula in Futurama.

  260. Beavis and Butthead
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#250): Whowho, heh. That’s got to make Mrs. Elephant happy.

    Maybe Sister Mary Elephant too. Wheh, heh.

  261. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#87): Yes, I am most cer-tain-ly on zee case, or my neem ez not eenspector Clouseau! (Of course in reality my name is NOT inspector Clouseau, but I AM on the case…and to prove it, during my investigation I have found the kind of gum wrappers that people chew in order to quit smoking to!) (Now, as far as the real world…Just got back from an ordeal with the SUV and I need to unwind. As I found out this afternoon it’s no fun trying to steer an Escalade through city traffic when you realise you’ve lost the power steering. My arms haven’t been this tired since I don’t know when! Thank Goodness for AAA and the car warranty! ….as Mark Trail would probably say, “Gee, I sure hope those fellows will FIND the power steering that I lost!”)

  262. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#258): Since he likes rubber chickens you could call him “Foghat leghorn.”

    Information about Svengoolie can be found on the internet.

  263. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): He started out as a Lt. Commander in the pilot where he was not First Officer but just the Science Officer. He later became a full Commander then a Captain. He left the service and became an Ambassador.

    //I like the episode where he goes back in time and becomes a baby doctor and messes up a whole generation of children.

  264. Majicou
    January 29th, 2013 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): Are you saying that Spock was promoted due to his own incompetence? Them’s fightin’ words, son.

  265. Another Kiwi
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Life is, indeed, tough for the Perfesser watching his flatscreen TV from his comfy chair with his beer and he can be as sloppy as he likes because he has cleaners coming in. BUT WAIT–He has generic ‘CHIPS’!!! Oh the deprivation!!

  266. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#264): The Peter Principle: people are promoted on the basis of competence at their jobs, thus a person continues being promoted until they reach a position in the organization where they are no longer competent, and they remain there. I remember it on my mother’s bookshelf, along with Benjamin Spock’s Baby and Child Care, Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock and I’m Okay, You’re Okay by some author whose name must not have featured prominently on the cover, because years of playing with LEGO next to that bookshelf haven’t seared it into my memory.

    Spock turned down promotions, IIRC, but they got him eventually.

  267. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    Today was a long boring day at work. I work at a library and today is the start of our servers being moved onto ‘the cloud’. Our computer system was supposed to be down until ten, which is when we open. I left there at five and the system still wasn’t up. We were supposed to be have a system for the next few days with limited functions. All we could do today was check people out manually and that was it. We have carts of books that need to be checked in and books that people have requested either waiting to be sent out or books from other branches that are waiting to be routed in. I am dreading what tomorrow will bring. Of course the good news is that for the next few days there won’t be a holds item list in the morning.

  268. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Shoe-Everyone knows that Billy the Kid was shot in the back and never lived to see geezerdom so the joke is on the filmmakers.

  269. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#266):

    Spock turned down promotions, IIRC, but they got him eventually.

    That must be when Spock went off and decided to work on the reunification of the Vulcans and Romulans (they share a common heritage).

    That’s a real career stopper.

  270. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#268): Actually, Billy the Kid went off to battle the White Wizard of the North.

  271. Alison
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    “Crankshaft”: Hey, Crankshaft, no matter how stupid *you* think it is, your friend has gotten joy out of his hobby; you get no joy, ever. You lose, ‘Shafty.

  272. Poteet
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#Y391): Wonderful. Better than anything any Burber has ever done.

  273. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#262):

    Oooohhhh. He’s one of those guys. A local entertainer.
    That’s cool.

  274. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    (i’m behind the curve today on comics reading. so I am going to try and catch up starting….now)

    Mark Trail:
    In my wildest dreams, events best unspoken have occurred. When it pertains to my expectations of art, I lower any level of anticipation down to the level which will allow for some pleasant surprise. It need not make me happy. It would be best if it didn’t not disappoint me. But, in the end, it doesn’t matter. I’m sure Humpback Camus would agree.

    So, Mark Trail will meet “Catfish”. The odds of a Dick Tracy-like villain are so dang low that I may not even bother to look at the strip ever again.

    Oh sure, to see how Rowdy Roddy Bassy demonstrates his magnificent fishing technique would be a divine thing. But, like some have pointed it, he’s probably cheating. I prefer to believe he is not cheating. I prefer to think Rod Bassy is a cohort of Mark Trail’s father-in-law, Doc. Doc probably whipped up a batch o’ giant mutant bass eggs one day and Bassy was his number one buyer.

    Now, Bassy just enjoys the fruits of his buying and catches Job-Swallowing-Sized Bass (by Job, I mean like Bible Job who was swallowed by the whale).

    Again, I won’t get my hopes up. I know better than that. I’ve read “Crankshaft” before. Dystopian comic strips like that one and “Funky–deep, deep, bluer than blue, miasmic, abyssmal Funky Winkerbean” taught me that everything is worse than something not happening in “Mark Trail”.

  275. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone commented on Thirsty’s latest hi-larious suicide attempt yet?

    Yes?

    Very well, then. Pip, pip. Carry on.

  276. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#242): *brohoof* /)

  277. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3G:

    I’ll be honest, after Bond James Bond broke into the burning apartment, I would not have hated it if he surveyed his surroundings and high-tailed it out of there without Margo.

    For god’s sake, there are streams of mayonnaise and mustard in the air! That looks dangerous!

  278. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#254): the non-Doctor version is also quite well known.

  279. Arabella Littela
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#267): Oh. I see you are not my daughter’s boy friend, Liam. The resemblance was uncanny. Nevermind.

  280. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#275):

    You made my heart skip a beat! I had to check it out to see…

    Waitasec! I’m sorry I was taken aback by the meticulous array of tools in that place.
    Thirsty doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would use a sledgehammer for anything. Maybe his wife might use one…

    …because she likely pounds railroad spikes on the weekends.

    Oh, Thirsty. How could it come to this?

  281. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#99): I myself don’t have any room to mock Plato’s OCD approach to crossword puzzles. I mentally divide the grid into quadrants and, depending on the day, work in lattices until I end up in the “Northwest” (around clue #1), or the “Southeast” (near whatever the last across clue is).

    @Right Venerable Pasdordan (#275): Yup. Glad it wasn’t just me. I’d be pretty depressed, albeit perhaps not suicidal, if my wife were so insistent on ridding the house of my loathsome presence when her book club dropped by.

  282. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: You know, I got yelled at the other night for suggesting that baking muffins at 250° for half an hour was a pretty good way to wind up with a hockey puck. I guess we’re about to see if they turn out gooey or crispy.

  283. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Now that I have visions of flying, streams of mayo and mustard, Thirsty rattling both the nerves of Rev. Pasdordan* and I, and trying to imagine how long it has been since anyone used a sledgehammer to pound a railroad spike, I must admit that today’s “Mary Worth” is less than scintillating.

    By “today’s ‘Mary Worth’” I mean she doesn’t stack up to “yesterday’s Mary”. Oh, my that one was a plucky one. I heard tale that she would play a fiddle with one foot, type out Braille with another, use one set of hands to sew trenchcoats for the war effort, use another set of hands to encrypt Alllied messages to sneak past the Axis
    and use one of her nine heads to nod dutifully as a sycophant for anyone who had visions of future bobbleheads in their minds due to consuming too many laced soda pops (most likely the ones who mixed Coca Cola and 7-Up).

    Oh. Yeah. Right. Today’s Mary Worth
    Whaaaatever.

  284. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#283):

    *
    Rev. Al Pasdordan?
    Al Pastor…

    ha
    ha.
    getit?

    sigh.

  285. Lumaca Morente
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps I am a stickler, but who here isn’t? Women are blondes and brunettes. Men are blonds and brunets.

  286. Mudgeon Hiding OCD Identity
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#281): I do crossword puzzles kind of like people go through the deck in solitaire. I go through the clues in order, through the across, then the down, filling in the answers in ink. I’m not allowed to peek ahead or double back until I’ve got to the end. For me a perfect crossword would be to complete it without reading any of the down clues, but it’s okay if it takes a few passes, so long as each letter is filled in neatly and I didn’t have to change any. I lose if I get a letter wrong.

  287. commodorejohn
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#267): But look on the bright side – once you’re in “the Cloud,” all your data is stored in the form of magical sparkle rainbows and unicorn dandruff and you’ll never ever have to worry about it* again!

    * (where “never ever” means “as long as your Internet connection is 100% reliable and responsive,” of course!)

  288. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#280): Not to be picky but your analysis may be flawed.

    I direct your attention to the large open paint bucket with the brush inside. Someone, most likely Thurston, was about to paint something. With the wonderful prospect of painting on the horizon one would not dispose of one’s own life. Therefore, Thurston W. Thirstybrain was not trying to do himself in.

    Unless he is forgetful and lost the memory of the fantastic painting prospect before him.

    I must rethink this.

  289. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Scientists sometimes use coprolites to date the spread of human culture, as in the settlement of the New World. The same principle can be applied to today’s strip, assuming we understand the natural decay rate of Trinidadian pop music adequately.

  290. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox’s Broken House of Mirrors:

    Rod Bassy’s Dream dates.

  291. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Arabella Littela (#279):

    Does your daughter live in South Carolina cause that’s where I am.

  292. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#284): Been there. Made that joke. Ate that taco.

  293. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#288): I’m thinking that’s a tar pail. Whatever it is, Thirsty’s been huffing the fumes, hence the suicidal ideation.

  294. Ratiocinator
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#253): Oh man, I haven’t read Sherman’s Lagoon in ages, like back when I still got a tangible newspaper delivered daily. I remember it being all right as comic strips go, better than the ones we regularly snark about here. Maybe I’ll take another look at it someday soon to see if it’s gotten better/declined/stayed the same.

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#259): Yeah, he was a Commander in TOS.

    I’ve actually been rewatching the run of original Star Trek lately, and have noticed something that sort of bugs me. Kirk calls him “Mister Spock” which, okay, that’s not abnormal since he calls Scotty “Mister Scott” and Sulu “Mister Sulu” and so on more often than he calls them by rank, and I guess that’s how it works in the real life U.S. Navy when you’re talking to people under your command. But…everybody else also calls Spock “Mister Spock” instead of “Commander Spock”, almost all the time. Like whenever Kirk’s off somewhere and Spock is the guy on the bridge calling the shots, Chekov and Uhura and everybody are calling him “Mr. Spock” instead of “Commander” or “sir” or other typical forms of address for a commanding officer. But they don’t call Kirk “Mister Kirk”, they call him “Captain Kirk”, because that’s his rank. So what’s going on, I ask as somebody who has just outed himself as having no life whatsoever and way too much time to think about crap like this?

  295. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: And loose bras…okay, never mind.

  296. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#100):

    The one-B Pib’s a saucy minx.
    The two-B Pibb’s a Mister, for drinks.
    And I’ll swear on my picture of Barry Gibb
    There isn’t any three-B Pibbb.

    So much for Pope, now someone else do Nash…

  297. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#287):

    My concern is what happens if something bad happens to the servers our stuff is now on.

  298. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#288):

    Obviously, there is only one Slylock Fox and, sadly (or thank god?) I am not him.

    I saw the paint can and presumed based upon the clue that Rev. Pasdordan provided that Hi would be a vital part of this plan.

    You see, you are probably correct that it has sat in that spot for a while. Given the life of this comic strip, it may have sat right there since 1964. Now, of course, the Big Box of Beer occupied the garage for a couple of months until its life essence was imbibed. But, let’s presume the paint in that can is now hard as a rock.

    Thirsty’s plan is to annoy Hi. Hi gets just agitated enough to try and get Thirsty to shut up. Now, Hi knows any of the tools hanging from the wall would do too much damage to Thirst or to Thirsty’s car. So, he decides to be as playful as he tries to vent his anger and intends to pick up the paint brush and slap some paint on Thirsty’s car’s windshield.

    Well, lo and behold, he lifts the paint brush and the can comes with it. He pauses for a second realizing that if he does not put it back down then something horrible could happen.

    Sitting in the car, Thristy holds his breath because his best pal is doing exactly what he is expected to do.

    Hi say, Screw It, McGlugglug! I’m taking you down!

    So, Hi starts swinging the paint can and…man, a chill just went up my spine.

    Sure. Maybe The Great Slylock Fox would stand there and assess the situation and notice that Thirsty’s car was idling and the garage door was closed. But, Slylock would just get run over by Thirsty before old animal rights activist Hi flips his nut and starts swinging that paint can. So, Hi would predictably flip his nut like a squirrel trapped in a beaver lodge and trying to claim that he was mislead by false advertising and wants out. It ain’t gonna be pretty.

    I just hope all the noise doesn’t disturb the book club. Thirsty’s wife probably enjoys those wine drinking gatherings.

  299. Right Venerable Pasdordan
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Oh. My. Glob. What a day to have no time to snark! We know, Mr. Dill. This is a big deal for you. This is a big deal for us, too. A very big deal!

  300. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#278): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#254): the non-Doctor version is also quite well known.

    I’ve heard of the non-Doctor Paul Bearer, of course, but my guy predates him by a couple of decades:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Paul_Bearer

    “I’ll be lurking for you.”

  301. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#298): Of course. Of course! All the clues were right there. How could I have missed the obvious? Your analysis is spot on. No Shylock needed or HI-C either (even if you’re THIRSTY).

    You’re the best, Detective HO.

  302. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    MT – If Rod Bassy’s business partner, this Catfish fellow, happens to be wearing an ascot… well, lets just say that Mark may want to investigate those RON BASSY KILLER lures to see if they can be opened up to smuggle stuff inside of them!

  303. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    MT – …and the name of the guy that gathers bait for the fishing tournament is Night Crawler.

  304. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#270): @Liam (#268): Actually, Billy the Kid went off to battle the White Wizard of the North.

    Hey, I wouldn’t call facing off against Dracula a walk in the park:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OJLn55Em6WE/TDsGcHkg76I/AAAAAAAAFPc/hBFKfnaDRkc/s1600/billy+the+kid.jpg

    JOHN CARRADINE EN COLORES!

  305. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaf-”Not as much time as you waste trying to blow up the neighborhood with your grilling.”

  306. Liam
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#304):

    Isn’t John Carradine’s brother a nerd?

  307. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#304): Dracula sucks.

  308. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#305): PINKY AND THE BRAIN: The Lost Episode.

    Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tomorrow?

    Brain: Same thing we do every day, Pinky. Try to blow up the neighborhood with our grilling.

  309. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#294): You are quite right. In naval custom, a superior officer may address junior officers as “Mister”. Juniors must address superiors by their actual or courtesy title. Equals will address each other by title or last name. By custom in Anglophone navies from the 18th C. to the present, as 2nd in command, and 2nd in seniority, no one but Captain Kirk should be calling Spock “Mister”.

    That said, of course, the customs of the Federation space fleet of the 26th C (or whatever it was — I can’t be bothered) are whatever the writers say they are.

  310. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    A3G – OK, JUST WHAT IN THE HELL WAS IN THAT GODDAMNED BOX??!!

    // Serenity now, Serenity now, Serenity NOW, SERENITY NOW DAMMIT!

  311. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#306): You’re probably thinking of John Carradine’s son Robert.

  312. Peanut Gallery
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#137): What a drag it is, getting bold…

  313. commodorejohn
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#297): Ah ah ah! Don’t trouble your pretty little head about that, the Cloud is magic! Your data no longer exists on icky physical servers, but in an ethereal fairyland where each little datum can frolic and play forevermore unmolested by the cares of the world!

  314. Arabella Littela
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#291): No, daughter and her Liam are in another southern state. Not such a small world after all.

  315. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#310): A3G – OK, JUST WHAT IN THE HELL WAS IN THAT GODDAMNED BOX??!!

    STEPHEN BAUX’S CONFESSION WAS IN THE GODDAMNED BOX!!!!

    You’re welcome.

  316. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#309): So let me get this straight, as Rusty’s superior, Mark can address Rusty as “Mister”, and as Mark’s junior, Rusty is required to address Mark by his actual title? Wow! That would explain why Rusty addresses Mark as “Asshole” all the time!

  317. debussy fields
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    MW– Sixty years ago, when Giella was a mere 55 or so, he reached his artistic peak by capturing the essence of Willard Waterman in portraiture. To this day, overpowering cravings eat at him to exercise his great ability, as it did in today’s second panel.

  318. Nehemiah Scudder
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#309): Permission to revise and extend my remarks. From my ancient copy of the Blue Jacket’s Manual:

    Officers are always addressed and referred to by their title or rank, such as “Admiral,” “Captain,” or “Commander.” If several officers of the same rank are together, it is proper to use both title and name, such as “Admiral Taylor” or “Captain Smith,” to avoid confusion. Officers of the rank of lieutenant commander and below, midshipmen, and aviation cadets are addressed as “Mister” or “Miss.”

    By tradition, the commanding officer of any ship or station, no matter what his rank, is addressed and referred to as “Captain.” The executive officer, likewise, is “Comander.” Other captains and commanders in the same command should be addressed by rank and name.

    (Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps officers are addressed and referred to by their ranks.)

    So – when Spock was a Lt. Cmdr, and Science Officer, it was appropriate for anyone to address him as Mr. Spock. When he became a commander, or whenever he was 2nd in command, “Commander Spock” was appropriate.

    Again, Star Fleet customs in the future might be different.

  319. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    MT – (Question): WHAT’S even more hilarious than Rusty standing alone on an old dock with tears in his eyes as Mark leaves in a green canoe to go on another hair brained adventure with his buds, “Ranger Tom Martyin”, “Johnny Mallot” and “Ranger Doug McQueen”?
    (see answer below)

    (Answer): Rusty standing alone on an old dock with tears in his eyes as Mark leaves in a green boat to go fishing with his new buds, “Bluegill”, “Rod Bassy” and “Catfish”.

  320. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): One thing Captain Kirk never called anyone was “Sailor”.

  321. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#317): As one Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve fan to another, how do you know John Dill’s likeness isn’t based on that of Harold Peary?

  322. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#294):

    The fact that he doesn’t insist on being referred to as Dr. Spock implies that he is above the prideful need for honorifics of any kind (as clearly he would not be driven by a desire not to be mistaken for a pop psychologist from over 300 years ago!).

  323. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#320): He never called anyone a cab either, but that doesn’t make him a bad person.

  324. tallyHO
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    @debussy fields (#317):

    Panel Two John Dill does look pretty sweet.

    The thing is he looks like he belongs in an E.C. horror comic. Which makes the fact that he’s having an anxiety attack seem that much more over-the-top.

    Sure, I could become un-serious and say that his gaping maw is just the opening that Mary needs to make out with him. To calm him down with a little nookie-nookie before they go make the cookie-cookie.

    I won’t got there though.

    I will say that Panel Two John Dill looks too damn serious for “Mary Worth”. He belongs in a creepy environment surrounded by the undead.
    Oh wait.

    Maybe he fits in just fine in the “Mary Worth” strip.

  325. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): Did you come across anything about calling someone “Bones?”

  326. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

  327. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#244): NO! They must be destroyed after they’re contaminated. They don’t reuse syringes, right? Same principle. Besides, this gives the elephants more opportunities for sex. You can’t have new uncontaminated elephants if they’re not being constantly produced. Biological fact. Ask Mark Trail some Sunday.

    @Sequitur (#241): Maybe queek or a specially-trained shirt-putting-on-corgi. I’m pretty sure they’re genetically immune to EVILSCARYCLOWNDOLL contamination, at least at small doses. I wouldn’t expect one to take on a whole clown college unscathed but a doll would present no health risk to the dog.

    @Sequitur (#263): Heh heh heh.

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#310): The contents of that box are the same as in “Pulp Fiction”: mustard and mayonnaise, only aged almost 20 years. Toxic fumes are the warning not to daub either one on a burger.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#321): Clearly that’s Willard Waterman. Mr. Peary was a much more charismatic gentlemen, one who never had to stoop to dating pushy old biddies.

  328. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): As far as addressing officers by their proper military titles, you should have heard what one of our 3rd class petty officers addressed our division officer as at our ship’s division Christmas party many decades ago in 1969. There had been much alcohol consumed by that time of the evening and all we could see after the hollering was the 3rd class sitting on top of our Commander with his hands around the Commander’s neck while holding him in a choke hold. It took three or four SAILORS to pull him off of the Commander. The 3rd class did serve a few days in the ship’s brig for that one, but a couple of weeks later the two of them were working together as if nothing had happened! (USS Lexington CVS-16, famous WW11 aircraft carrier, now retired and on permanent display in Corpus Cristy Texas)

  329. Illustrator Steve
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#323): (another old joke) Why did the Marine recruit hail a cab while on afternoon leave from Paris Island?

    (answer): Because he needed to finally be able to tell someone where to go!

  330. Mudgeon Hiding OCD Identity
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#327): Drug addicts living in an alley re-use syringes. Or do clowns rank above homeless drug addicts?

  331. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    OooH! Sailor jokes!

    It was a dark, stormy, night. The Sailor was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A Captain stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Seaman snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out ,” Good Evening, Sir!”

    The Captain, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said “Good evening Seaman, nice night, isn’t it?” Well it wasn’t a nice night, but the Sailor wasn’t going to disagree with the Captain, so the he saluted again and replied “Yes Sir!”.

    The Captain continued, “You know there’s something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it’s really relaxing. Don’t you agree?” The Seaman didn’t agree, but then the seaman was just a seaman, and responded ” Yes Sir!”

    Then the Captain, pointing at the dog said, “This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train.” The Seaman glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said ” Yes Sir!” The Captain continued “I got this dog for my wife.” The Seaman simply said, “Good trade Sir!”

  332. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    Sailor joke for Nehamiah Scudder.

  333. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Sailor joke for the stupid.

    //I’m done.

  334. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#333): That reminds me of the boat name on Arrested Development: the Seaward (apparently named in honor of Lucille).

  335. Droopy Says
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#318): Different explanations for “Mister” Spock floated around during and after the show’s run. One said that NBC didn’t want the audience to confuse Nimoy’s character with the baby doctor, and think the character was an MD; another said the network didn’t want to appear to endorse Dr. Spock’s positions on baby care and politics. Another explanation was that the title reminded the audience that Spock wasn’t the character’s first name, making him seem more alien. There are so many explanations that probably none are true.

    My guess? The show used a combination of staff writers and freelance writers. Each script got rewritten and edited by different people. They worked hastily to meet a production schedule, and the staff had a lot to keep it busy. While the show had guidelines for the writers, I doubt anyone was interested in being 100% consistent on every minor point. The stories were often good and intelligent, which is what mattered.

  336. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#158): Dogshaming has been having a run on corgis lately.

  337. Droopy Says
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#331): Sailor jokes? There was the announcement made aboard a troop transport in harbor: “Liberty for all Navy personnel ends at twenty-two hundred hours. Liberty for all Army personnel ends at ten PM. All Marines must return to the big boat when the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the ten.”

  338. Stroker Ace
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    Shoe ~ Smart, upscale, young students won’t like their pajama/sweats wearing sloth reflected in Shoe. Hippies turned on Al Capp when he exposed their hypocrisy in the previous century. Walt Kelly chortles.

  339. bbofun
    January 29th, 2013 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#161): I have apparently blocked that one out of my memory. However, if there’s no trace of the Djinn, I suspect it’s one of the ones after we saw Djinnie popping out of coffee pots and the like (there were about two-three weeks of those) before he actually appeared to trollboy- back when I hoped that we had finished with the Djinn (oh, halcyon days!).

  340. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 30th, 2013 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    FW: No, wait, Hope is a drooling vegetable! Hope is an incoherent, empty husk of a person! Hey, why aren’t you smirking yet?

  341. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    January 30th, 2013 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Rod Bassy doesn’t have to rely on his tournament winnings. He’s also the author of the best-selling “How to Avoid Drawing Suspicion to Yourself.”

  342. Girl Reporter
    January 30th, 2013 at 12:54 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#337): As told by CDR Brother Girl Reporter; in the Navy it’s the head, in the Army it’s the latrine, in the Air Force it’s the powder room.

  343. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2013 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#339): You probably don’t realize, because nowadays everyone gets whole books at once, that in serializing his works Charles Dickens did not send one chapter at a time, but rather sometimes broke mid-sentence, and other times cut the page in half from top to bottom in a zig-zag fashion, so that any given installment was unreadable and incomprehensible until you had the next one, and some pages remained disconnected until the whole story was available. Yet here he is today, an acknowledged master of the English language.

    Dickens didn’t really work that way. But McEldowney’s work is the graphic equivalent.

  344. Majicou
    January 30th, 2013 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    Late snark for the return of Darkgate!

    Lockhorns: Ah, Leo, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in Loretta’s vagina.

    SpBp: The pepper oni are well-known as the allies of the hated salt goblins.

    Zits: This is the story of a girl who does not exist. Every record of her in every database is corrupt. Her identification is incomprehensible to every known system. No one knows how she did this, or even why, but they know one thing: now that she is nowhere, she is everywhere.

  345. Majicou
    January 30th, 2013 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Oh, and:

    Pigborn: Brooke draws his straw critic in the midst of practicing anal fisting on himself. How erudite and sublime!

  346. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2013 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    MW: Weeks of practice and they didn’t hit on the idea of having everything premeasured and the dry ingredients already mixed. It’s cute, too how the area where this competition is being held has those kitchen cupboards above the tables. Must play havoc with the camera angles.

  347. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2013 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    MT: Haters will say Rod Bassy is acting suspicious by yelling at Mark like that, but you have to understand it’s a noisy environment. He needs to speak up in order to ensure Mark hears his friendly greeting.

  348. Mr. O'Malley
    January 30th, 2013 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#169): Going back to yesterday’s discussion, there was a myth in the middle ages that beaver were hunted for their testicles rather than their pelts (I forget why), and the beavers, knowing the myth, would bite off their testicles and throw them over their shoulder to the hunter in order to escape with their lives.

    And some people, observing the careers of certain Canadian politicians, have suggested this model as the explanation for the Canadian nickel.

  349. Mr. O'Malley
    January 30th, 2013 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    348 comments and no one has mentioned Thirsty’s awesome “PBR” vanity plate?

  350. Aviatrix
    January 30th, 2013 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#348): Beaver musk (called castoraneum or castororium or something) used to be a popular medicinal ingredient. I think it was even used in some perfumes into the twentieth century. As you noted, it doesn’t come from the beaver’s testicles, but its musk glands. I’ve never heard it put forward as an explanation for the image on the five cent piece–that’s a straightforward representation of the very important role the beaver played in the country’s history–but some claim the gnaw-off-ones-own-testicles-and-run-away style of confrontation management is representative of our national character.

  351. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2013 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    @Mudgeon Hiding OCD Identity (#330): We don’t want to risk having EVILSCARYCLOWN residue building up on the trampling devices. The world doesn’t need a 15,000 pound EVILSCARYCLOWNELEPHANT. Does. Not. Need.

  352. Droopy Says
    January 30th, 2013 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    Spiderdick: Thank goodness we have this desert interlude. Never mind that it give Parker a chance to use one of his superpowers for a change. Its real virtue is that it delays the onset of the Kingpin story.

    Flunky: The old boy will make a partial recovery that allows him to spew malapropisms, thereby allowing the reuse of Crankshat material. Batiuk isn’t being lazy, he’s conserving energy.

    Family Circus: Appropriately, this comic is drawn on a drumhead.

    Mock Travail: Okay, in which part of the state do you find Centerville?

    Pluggers: “H1N5? The Encyclopedia Obsoletia doesn’t mention it, so we don’t need to worry about it.”

    Mock Travail: Well, Rod Bassy, from the way Trail’s camera has suddenly spouted a long, stiff telephoto lens, I’d say he has a thing for you.

    Mary Mirthless: The time starts now? Wait, we didn’t have time to synchronize our calendars!

  353. Dale
    January 30th, 2013 at 3:07 am [Reply]

    MARK TRAIL

    If you HAD to report on a bass fishing contest what would you do?

    These guys are fishing from small boats on a lake.
    They’re using lures. It isn’t fly fishing or cane poles, bobbers, and worms.
    If a fish bites, they try to reel it in.

    You wait until the end. Take pictures of the winner, his catch, and his gear. Report the statistics. If you want his product line to take out ads in your publication, don’t suggest he’s a cheater.

  354. Anondod
    January 30th, 2013 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    My question about Shoe isn’t so much about the Perfesser’s flatscreen (though that is puzzling) as the purple ball of light that seems to hover in front of it. Specifically, are the voices the Perfesser hears coming from the tv-set or the light? In the first case this is probably just one of life’s little ironies reminding the Perfesser how old and decrepit he is (remember to laugh, folks!), but in the second this is a sure sign of infernal or possibly divine punishment being visited upon his immortal soul, the dark room where he eternally munches generic chips his own private hell.

  355. Mr. O'Malley
    January 30th, 2013 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    MT: Is that the same lens that Rusty swiped to take pictures of the sheep poachers? Did it survive the ordeal?

    I can see why Rod Speckledtrouty is suspicious though. Why is he using a long telephoto to take a picture of a van that’s right in front of him? He wants a closeup of the door handle?

  356. Da Coconino Kid
    January 30th, 2013 at 3:32 am [Reply]

    @sighing maiden, still sighing (#205):

    Oddly enough, my mental image of ol’ Neh is (a somewhat more manly) Father Mulcahy from M*A*S*H. Maybe it’s just the circular spectacles, but I think there’s a similarity between Whorf and Mulcahy.

  357. Liam
    January 30th, 2013 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#311):

    Then who is the brother between David and Robert.

  358. cholling
    January 30th, 2013 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    I do believe this may be the first time we’ve seen a Shoe character roll their eyes at an awful joke instead of giving the Goggle Eyes of Horror.

  359. Liam
    January 30th, 2013 at 6:26 am [Reply]

  360. terrapin
    January 30th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#166):Yeah…just haven’t been feeling funny lately. I think I have the winter blues. Maybe some ice fishing would cheer me up.

  361. Brownsfan
    January 30th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @Marked Trail (#75):

    I only fish for the halibut.

  362. Old Folkie
    January 30th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#274): Jonah was swallowed by the whale, not Job.

  363. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    After reading Nancy, I suddenly want to go to a winter dance. Somehow I get the idea it’s being held at Kilamonjaro.

  364. Dale
    February 2nd, 2013 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Either Mark is demonstrating his new hobby of ventriloquism or Rod has the even more unique talent of making his farts sound like words.

Comments are closed for this post.